Tumgik
#It literally makes my chest cold and stomach hurt because I don't want to do this in my free time
kennarose1108 · 3 months
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Rio x Reader (Punishment) 18+
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You were his girlfriend. And although you loved him he could be overbearing sometimes. He was older than you and more experienced in life, especially in the dark side, so he thought, no, he knew what was best for you. When something was a no he said it was a no and that was the end of it. But this time you decided not to listen to him.
He told you, you weren't allowed to hang out with one of your guy friends. You had met him at work and you told Rio all about him and when picking you up one day Rio saw him. After that, he told you that you couldn't hang out with him anymore and wouldn't let up. You couldn't understand why he refused to let up on it without an explanation. He at least explained why in most cases, if he didn't explain it was for something small. But for this… He just refused. He didn't say a damn word. It was just 'no'. Literally. You'd ask him about it and he would just say 'no' and walk away or ignore you afterward.
You eventually stopped asking him about it.
Then you just hung out with your friend in secret. You felt dirty doing it but you couldn't just let Rio control your entire life. So today you were hanging out with him. You just left the cafe, laughing and talking you were standing out on the sidewalk, getting ready to part ways when you got a text. You took out your phone and looked at the message. It was from Rio.
"You didn't listen to me."
He was watching you…
Your heart fell to the pit of your stomach. You began to look around at the people on the streets, then the cars. That's when you noticed a familiar black car and a familiar face staring back at you. You stared back with your heart pounding in your chest. He nodded back at you, it was his way of telling you to get your ass in the car.
You looked back at your friend and forced a smile and you said 'I have to go' before going to cross the street. You hurried across the street and walked over to his car. You got into the passenger's seat and shut the door.
Silence.
You stared forward, as did he. He had his head leaning back against the headrest. Oh. He was pissed.
"I said to stay away from him."
He finally spoke.
"He's my friend."
He scoffed.
"I don't give a shit. What I say goes."
You finally looked at him. "I am a grown woman. I make my own decisions. Not you." He laughed. He fucking laughed. "What I say goes ma." He says. "No." You say with an irritated glare. He turns his head just slightly to look at you. "No?" He repeats like it's a question. You didn't dare say another word. You just stared at him. After an awkward minute, he turned forward and pulled out of the parking space he was in. The car ride was silent. You were nervous. Very nervous. Whenever he was pissed he was silent.
Which worried you.
You decided to finally speak up. "Rio." You say. "Hm?" You swallowed the lump in your throat. "Why do you hate him so much?" You ask. Again. He just sighs and doesn't say a word. "Please answer m-" "No." You clenched your teeth and sighed angrily. So… You decided to say something you knew would piss him off.
"Then I'm just going to keep hanging out with him." More silence. But the air in the car went cold and very, very, tense. After about a minute he suddenly takes a right turn that makes you gasp and hold onto the car. He pulls into an alley and suddenly stops the car. You go to ask him what the hell is wrong with him before he turns to you and grabs the back of your head to force you to look at him. It wasn't enough to hurt you but enough to get his point across.
"Listen to me and listen good," He started. "I have my reasons. You don't need to know those reasons because what I say fucking goes. Understand me?" He says, his voice laced with frustration. You should've just nodded. You should've just kept your mouth shut. But instead…
"Fuck you."
Whoops.
"I'm not your puppet. I am my person. I can do whatever I want. You can't control me." You say angrily.
He just stared at you. His hand still gripping the back of your head firmly. But eventually… He smirked.
"Oh really?" He chuckles.
"You think you understand everything, baby? You think this is all a game?" He asks while tilting his head to the side slightly. You didn't say anything. And your silence caused him to shake his head slightly. "No. No baby you don't know anything. You don't know this douchebag. But I do. And what I say fucking goes." He says.
"Or what?"
His eyes widened. You knew you had made a mistake. But you honestly didn't care. You had to stand your ground. …Okay maybe you did care a little bit. The stare he was giving you was freaking you out a bit.
"Or what?"
He repeated. You did your best to hold your head high and stare at him. But he could see right through you. He leaned in and got close to your ear.
"How about… I fuck you so fuckin' dumb your mind goes blank."
Your heart began to beat so fast it felt like it was beating out of your chest. Your breathing goes shaky and he smirks and leans back. "You wouldn't." You finally croak out. "Wanna bet?" He says with a smirk on his face. "You wouldn't. Because I wouldn't give you my consent. And that's rape." You say while crossing your arms over his chest. He laughs. "Rape? Seriously? I've never heard you cry rape every time we fuck. And that's been a lot of times baby." You shake your head and look forward.
"You still wouldn't do it." You say firmly. He lets out a 'huh' and looks around. You both were in a secluded area… He then turns back to you. "Get in the backseat." He says. You turn to him with your eyebrows furrowed. "What?" You say.
"Get. In. The. Back. Seat. I'm not repeating myself princesa." He says firmly. You roll your eyes get out of the car and get into the backseat. He does the same thing a few seconds later but on the other side and you give him a confused look. "What was the point of this?" You ask. "What do you think mama? I'm going to fuck you dumb." He says with a smirk. Your eyes widened and you went to protest but your mind went blank when he grabbed the bottoms of your knees yanked you forward onto your back and got on top of you. "H-Hey!" You say but before you can say anything forward he slams his lips onto yours.
His kiss was possessive, hungry, and almost angry. You couldn't possibly push him away now… Hell… You didn't want to. He felt too good. His tongue shoved into your mouth and his hands gripped your thighs. The kiss didn't last like before he hiked up the skirt of your dress ripped off your panties and threw them to the side.
His hand dipped between your thighs causing you to moan softly into his mouth. "So wet already…" He groaned into your mouth. "Were you getting turned on during our argument? You're such a dirty little thing." He teased with a smirk. "Just shut up…" You say with a heavy breath.
You laid back and enjoyed the feeling of his hand rubbing between your slick folds, two of his fingers occasionally dipping inside of you and then pulling back out. You let out a satisfied "mmm" while biting your bottom lip. But then he slipped his hand away and you let out an annoyed groan. He chuckled. "Be patient. You'll get what you want." He says while leaning back and unbuckling his belt. You watched with a desperate look as he pulled out his cock and aligned it with your entrance. "What are you waiting for?" You asked with a groan. He shrugged. "Nothing…" He says before looking down and letting a line of spit come out of his mouth and drop onto his cock. He rubs it on his cock and looks at you with a smirk. "Can't let it go in dry can you?" He teases.
"Jesus… Just fuck me already." He raises his eyebrows at you and you whine. "Please…" You beg. He smirks, "I like seeing you beg." He says before slowly penetrating your slick cunt. You let out a deep and satisfied moan while leaning your head onto the back of the cushion of the seat. He leaned down and kissed your jaw. His thrusts were slow and sensual at first. He opened mouth kissed your jaw before whispering in your ear, "You like that, huh? With my cock inside of you?" He says in a low tone of voice. Your nails dug into his back and you let out a 'yeah' before he began to thrust faster. "Oh, fuck!" You cried out as he fucked you hard against the seat.
You moaned loudly and gripped his jacket. The windows in the car began to fog up from the heat between you two. You cried out his name which only fueled his fire. He let out a deep groan before going harder and faster. You moaned loudly and one of your hands went up to the car door to hold you in the same place as your head was about to hit the car door. You let out a 'mmm' noise before letting out a satisfied moan.
He then pulled out of you, making you gasp in annoyance before he picked you up and flipped you onto your hands and knees. "W-What are you doing?" You ask. "What does it look like?" He chuckles before pushing himself back inside of you. You let out a groan before he continued to pound back into you.
Your moans were loud and the car shook with every thrust. Your hand banged against the window and slid down, leaving a sliding hand print on the fogged-up windows. He then leaned forward, close to your ear, grabbed your jaw, and whispered to you. "You like that, huh? You like my cock inside of you?" His words made you let out a loud moan. You nodded, but that wasn't enough for him. "Use your words, baby." He groaned in your ear. "I love it!" You cried out. "Fuck!" He chuckles.
But then he suddenly stops. "Hey, wha-" "Are you going to see that fucking loser again?" He hisses into your ear. "Rio-" "Answer me." He hissed. You wanted to annoy him further and you smirked. "And what if I do?" You ask teasingly. His hand slipped down from your jaw and down to your throat and gripped it tightly. "Or I'll pull out of you and leave you dripping in your juices and I won't let you touch yourself." He says. You chuckle, "You won't last without fucking me." This time, he chuckles. "I know how to jerkoff sweetheart." He says.
"I'll tie you to the fucking bed, making you squirm and moan for me to fuck you. And I won't touch you." He says with a smirk. You let out a groan, "That's not fair…" You whined. You try to move your hips to get some more feeling but he grabs your hips with his other hand and holds them in place. He clicks his tongue while shaking his head, "No no baby… No moving. You do as I say first and I'll fuck you real good hmm…" He purrs in your ear. You sigh deeply. You wanted it, you wanted it so fucking badly.
So, you decided to give him what he wanted.
"Fine… I won't see him anymore." You grumble. "Promise?" "Yes, yes I promise!" You say in annoyance. He chuckles again, "Will you at least tell me why afterward?" You ask. "No." He shakes his head. You grumble and roll your eyes. "Give me your phone." He blurts out. "Why?" "Just do it." You roll your eyes and grab your phone that fell to the ground of the car before handing it to him.
He leans back and you hear the record button turn on and you were about to yell at him but that's when he began to fuck back into you. At that point, you didn't care. You let out a moan before biting your bottom lip and taking all he had to give you.
After about thirty seconds you hear the thud of your phone as he tosses it aside. He grabs your hips and he pounds into you at a fast speed. Your moans turn into loud cries of ecstasy as he brings you closer to cumming. He groans and you can tell he's close too.
"Cum with me." He growls. After a few more seconds your back arches and you grab onto the door handle of the car as you cum hard around his cock and a loud moan escapes your lips. He bucks forward and stops and cums inside of you with a loud groan. You both stay in the same position for a few moments with heavy breaths. He then leans down and kisses your shoulder which makes you flinch slightly as your entire body is sensitive.
He then slowly pulls out of you sits back onto the seat and grabs you in the process to sit on his lap. He holds you close to his chest and kisses your temple before relaxing back onto the seat.
You lay there too, with your head on his chest. After about a minute he sighs and says, "I don't want you hanging out with that prick because he's a part of another gang." You lean forward and stare at him with furrowed eyebrows. "What?" "He's a rival." He explains. "Maybe listen to me next time yeah?" He says with a raised eyebrow. "You could've just explained that and I would've stayed away from him!" You say with a huff. He chuckles.
"I also may or may not have recorded us fucking and sent it to him before blocking him." He says with a smirk. Your face falls. "You did WHAT?" You say loudly. He lets out a small laugh and kisses your lips softly.
"I love you."
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fanfiction4sooya · 4 months
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God I just read the wolf hybrt yujin and twas fucking hot wtf, btw wondering if u can make wony version of it? Add little flavor and some spice on it? 🧂🌶️ Thanks 🧏
Hi sweetie!!! Sorry for the long wait, I was thinking of this and realized that wony would never be a wolf hybrid... They are too aggressive and on the nose with it. She'd definitely be a panther hybrid mistaken for a kitty, though...
(about the flavor and spice... I don't know what you meant by that, luv 🤠 but here we go)
Like imagine her being so small and cute when you two were kids, always so playful and fun but overall very jealous in a subtle way. You always thought it was because as a cat they are more individualistic and in a way it was just... x10.
Growing up she got more reserved to others but always very warm to you and your parents. Much taller than cat hybrids and her fangs and claws were bigger and stronger too, so imagine something else...
She got so stressed with the sudden change in routine with you two going to college and stuff that it literally trigged her first rut a day before the two of you were separating. And by separating I mean sleeping in different dorms only.
"Are you going to leave me for someone else?" She trapped you against the door of your room, lowly purring but it made you tremble, the things in the room vibrating with how powerful it felt.
"wony..." You tried to remove yourself from her grip but she was too strong. She smelled sweet and intoxicating. "of course not baby..." You felt her member grind against your stomach, big and warm.
"Prove it to me then" She hissed on your ear. "You are mine. Prove it" She let go of your hands and crossed her arms over her chest, lifting one eyebrow.
You didn't know what to do, her defying eyes scaring you, turning you on. You could see the outline of her cock through her pants and oh, you wanted it in your mouth. Your fumbled a bit with her zipper until you could open it, getting on your knees and giving it a good lick to it's tip. She rolled her eyes, unconsciously grabbing the back of your hair to pull you into her to fit her whole length inside your mouth.
You tried to push her by the thighs but all you could feel was the wetness seeping through your panties, how every time she blindly thrusted inside your mouth you felt more and more aroused. She was fucking your face so good it was maddening how you've never experienced that before, you unconsciously started to pull her into you by the hips. You came together, her seed spilling in the back of your throat as you squirted on your panties, wetting the floor, shaking so hard you blacked out.
When you realized she was already easing her whole cock in your tight cunt, laying you on the ground. She had ripped your clothes and you didn't even see it happening, moaning loudly when you felt the sudden stretch. She bit your collarbone, licking your lips to passionately pull your hips to hers, growling.
You started crying for more, locking your ankles behind her back, her beautiful face contorting as your cunt throbbed on her dick.
"wony please come inside, please" you pleaded and she smiled slamming even harder, making her life's mission to cum inside you over and over again.
"my pretty little cock sleeve" she purred on your ear. "I'll make sure to give you my pups" she closed her eyes, clawing at your hips. It hurt but you wouldn't complain. She was feeling like that because of you, it was only fair you'd let her take it out on you.
She locked your hands over your head with one hand, still fucking you hard. Her seed felt so good on your womb it made you cum again; as your orgasm washed over you she didn't even wait for you to open your eyes again, turning you to be in all fours as she kept the in and out pace, her cock reaching even deeper. How come did she have so much stamina? Fuck.
"wony please, enough" you cried, face scratching down on the cold floor.
"it's enough when I tell you it is" she said through gritted teeth, pulling you by the hair to bite your back and neck.
She kept that for god knows how much time, spilling inside of you a number or times as well. You were already in and out of consciousness, your cunt red and puffy and so full it was leaking from your hole.
She put you in all fours again, cumming one last time but on your back, purring loudly as she did so. Her cheeks red and her eyes focusing on watching your body spasming because of her, contorting for her.
"I bet you won't ever try to leave me now..." She hugged you close, licking you. Cleaning you with her tongue, careful not to hurt you with it's spikes.
"I won't wony, I swear..." You weakly said, falling asleep as she kept licking you and purring against your skin.
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shoulmate · 11 months
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Cold.
Dark.
And wet.
Why is it suddenly impossible to sense anything beyond that?
And since when does the ground throb like it has it's own pulse?
Dirty.
Hard.
And painful.
When Osamu finally wakes up, the darkness in his mind erased with a slice of bright light as his eyes open, he knows he's not at home. Or at the shop. Judging by the harsh smell, sterile-white ceiling, and rhythmic beeping
he's in the hospital.
His entire body is stiff and heavy. His mouth feels dry.
He can't see much from the pillow so he gently shifts his head to look around and hears the monitors announce the surprise as he sees "Rin--" his voice, rough with lack of use, breaks into a cough that hurts his chest; he clutches himself. "Rintaro? What-" another cough. "What are you doing here?"
Suna smirks but his eyes are soft with relief. "I could ask you the same question, stupid."
Osamu frowns, offended and unable to offer anymore of a response.
"I suppose I'm here because I'm worried about my best friend." With a roll of his eyes he offers "though in a more literal sense I'm here because Atsumu unhelpfully texted the group chat 'Dear gods, my brother is dying, I'm about to become an only child, I never really wanted this' and a bunch of other nonsense like that until Kita stepped in and really explained everything."
"Explained what?" Osamu asks with a gravelly voice.
Suna's brow lifts. "You don't know?" When Osamu shakes his head he asks "you don't remember anything?"
"No." Osamu scowls flatly. "The last thing I remember was waiting with 'Tsumu at the station...And then I went fer a walk ta think fer a bit..."
Suna huffs. "Shit. I didn't think I was going to be the one here when you woke up."
"Well ya are..." grumbles Osamu, "so either tell me 'r get out."
"'Samu." Suna levels a serious look at him. "You were robbed. Somebody knocked you out cold and left you for dead."
Osamu's glad he's laying down. He's hit with a bout of dizziness that would've sent him to the ground if he wasn't.
"When you didn't make it back to the shop your assistant went out looking for you. They found you in an alley unconscious."
Osamu feels like he could throw up if there was something in his stomach. "...they?"
"Yeah. Your assistant and...some soccer player? I don't know, some friend of your assistant's. Real moody asshat according to your brother. But they found you and called an ambulance, rode with you to the ER. By that time 'Tsumu had hopped a different train back and met them here. He's been here the most out of all of us but went back to your place a little while ago to shower and check on the shop."
Osamu's head feels like it's stuffed with cotton.
"Your assistant said your wallet and keys were still at the shop..." Suna offers, trying to provide some comfort. "And the cops caught the guys who did it by tracking your phone...was there anything else you had on you?"
Osamu shakes his head, overwhelmed with everything that's happened.
He forces a lump down his throat and asks "ya said...ya said 'Tsumu's been here the most outta all of ya..."
Suna nods. "Kita reached out to your assistant and found out what happened...And when he told all of us and said he was going in to help run the shop while you were in the hospital," Suna shrugs, "a bunch of us volunteered to help in the shop, too, or keep you company so you wouldn't be alone when you woke up."
Suna chuckles under his breath. "Your little assistant there was adamant about keeping the shop running...didn't want any 'lapse of service' or anything else to 'tarnish the good name of Onigiri Miya'. You've got yourself one dedicated worker there, 'Samu. Been real torn up, asking 'Tsumu and the rest of us for updates on your condition all the time." He smirks wryly. "I'm surprised you even let Kita and your brother meet that little cutie."
The corner of Osamu's eyes prickle; he wonders if Suna's going to judge him for crying and then realizes
he doesn't care.
His eyes close as tears start to slide out.
"How long have I been here?" Osamu asks, roughly forcing out the words.
"About a week."
His stomach's in knots.
Knowing you had been with your little boy-toy in the shop but still...you both went to look for him. And by the sound of it, Rin had even helped you.
Helped him.
Suna remains quiet out of respect as Osamu tries to process everything.
Knowing that you found him...that you were worried enough to go out and look for him...that you've been running the shop in his absence...Checking up on him...
Tears flow freely as reality washes through him, overwhelmed with feeling.
"Everything looks good. All the tests have come back fine. Our main concern is still a concussion or that you'll develop pneumonia. Do you live with someone or have anyone you can stay with--"
"'Course he does, doc," 'Tsumu chimes in. "I'll stay with him."
"No ya won't."
Atsumu whips around with a glare at his twin. "Yes. I. Will."
"'Tsumu, it's the middle of the season. Ya already missed enough practice and yer next game is in two days. The Jackals don't have a reserve setter."
Atsumu frowns, looking away with a pout for a moment until his expression clears. "Not ta worry, then," --he grins the kind of grin that sets off alarms in Osamu's head--
"I know just who ta ask."
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ddejavvu · 1 year
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For some reason I just can't get Chubby!reader out of my head since the perv!eddie with his obsession with thighs and being in between them.
Like the reader purposes riding his face and they're a bit nervous because they know they're big and don't wanna hurt him.
But Eddie couldve sworn he just died and went to heaven, eyes literally rolled back and he's just like, "Holy fuck, please, yes- the things you do to me." Because he's been wanting this, a wet dream to come true.
And when the reader does, he grips their thighs so tight they it's sure to leave bruises, even when the reader tries pulling away because of overstimulation. He just pulls them right back down, mumbling about how he's not done yet.
this post is 18+, minors dni.
Even just your thighs around Eddie's head is big. It's a big deal, for the both of you. It's a big deal for you because they look larger than you remember them, and they look like murder weapons that are going to snuff the life out of Eddie. It's a big deal for Eddie because they're his favorite things in the world, and they've never been closer.
"Oh my god," He breathes, eyes flicking over your cunt, soft lips already pulling back to expose your sensitive clit, "I knew you were beautiful, babe," He leans up, nose against your skin as he gently kisses your clit, "But this is unreal."
His feather-light touch sends a shockwave through your body that makes your thighs clench. It means they squeeze around his head, and you can't stop it even if you're mortified by it.
He feels your skin flatten over his ears, warmth coursing through him. He doesn't even give you time to be embarrassed before he surges upwards, licking a long, lewd stripe up your folds.
"Fuck," His voice is muffled as he speaks into your cunt, "Fuck, sweetheart, yes."
You feel his tongue, long and lithe and wet, snake through your cunt. It flicks against your clit as soon as he reaches it, and his lips pucker around it for a split second, suckling gently. He soothes the arousing sting of his suction with a soft lave of his tongue over your clit, and it has your stomach convulsing.
"Oh my god," He groans, arms flying up to wrap around your thighs, "Yes."
"Eddie-" You gasp as he flattens his tongue through your slit, a wave of slick gushing over his tongue and coating it, "Eddie, that's- oh!"
This time when he reaches your clit he laps slick up to meet it, smearing it around the sensitive bud. Then, once he deems it properly coated, he sucks it clean, tongue flicking and curling around it while his lips encase you.
It's stimulation like you've never felt it before.
"No- no more!" You demand, suddenly cowing. You push at his forehead and lift your hips, leaving him lying on the pillow beneath him with wild eyes and a sticky chin.
"Are you hurt?" He's worried by your sudden panic, licking arousal off of his lips, "Did I do something wrong? Shit," His eyes grow wide and his fingers tighten around your thighs, "Did I accidentally bite you?"
"No!" You assure him, though your stomach flips at the idea, this time unpleasantly, "It's okay, it's not- nothing hurt."
"Was it too far? We don't have to, you know, if you're getting cold feet." Eddie promises, chest still heaving with a blissful mix of adrenaline and arousal.
"That's not it," You insist, sheepish, "I just- I was about to crush you."
Eddie blinks at you. One. Twice. Three times. His lashes flutter over his pretty brown eyes and he stares up at you blankly, perfectly still.
Then he starts, "Oh my god, you weren't kidding."
"Of course I wasn't kidding," You shift slightly on your thighs, trying to wriggle his hands off of them. He doesn't get the memo, though, or maybe he chooses to ignore it. His fingers grip your skin tighter, flesh pooling between them, "I'm gonna kill you, Eddie! I don't wanna kill you, that would suck."
"Baby," He starts, with the cajoling tone of someone explaining something to a confused toddler, "You are not going to kill me." He turns his head, pecking a kiss to the soft flesh of your inner thigh, "I promise." Another kiss, this time closer to your cunt, "And- and if you do? Tell everyone about it." A kiss to your other leg this time, in the crease between your cunt and your thigh, "Put it on my fuckin' headstone, baby, Eddie Munson, drowned in pussy." One last kiss, just above your clit, paired with a shit-eating, teasing grin, "You are going to do wonders for my reputation, babe."
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katsuslover · 8 months
Text
August afternoon
Katsukis smut
It's the hottest day of the summer so far, the month mid August.
You're laying in the hammock katsuki put together outside, rocking gently back and forth. You're eating a very quickly melting popsicle, sweaty, eyes closed.
Katsuki comes out after cutting up some fruit to place the tray on the table outside by you. He sits in the chair at the table and looks at you.
"thank you" you murmur to him.
He doesn't say anything because he's so caught off guard by how.. how you look.
You're so hot , literally and figuratively. He's watching your baby hairs stick to your sweaty forehead, your reddened face, his eyes scanning over your glistening , sweaty skin, sticky lips and chin from your delirious -messy eating. He subconsciously licks his lips. His stare trails down your neck , breasts, stomach , to your hips and legs and bare feet.
You thanked him but got no response, after about 15 seconds. You open your eyes to see him staring at you.
"Katsuki? You okay?" He nods slowly, "you've got some ice cream on your chin" is all he says. You stop, and make a short realization expression. You glance around the table and ground for your water.
"baby can you please get my water next to you?"
You point to your not so cold water bottle and he looks at it, you , it, and hands it to you. He pops a piece of fruit in his mouth and watches you effortlessly gulp down water, it spilling down your chin onto your chest. He watches the drop travel under your shirt before you wipe it away.
You finish half of it and offer him some. But he declines, too focused on how you look so sweet and innocent caring about him.
But what you notice when he declines is his hard boner poking through his shorts as he scoots under the table more as to hide it. You smile and hold back a laugh. He knows what's up, and is furrowing his brows at you.
"what're you laughing at?" He asks defensively almost.
You know what pet names do to him. He gets so unbelievably turned on when praised, and called sweet things. You feel enough energy to play with him a bit . "Are you feeling okay, love? Your cheeks are a bit red. Are you sure you don't want water?"
"nah 'm fine." "Alright angel, and thank you for bringing the fruit. So sweet of you" and you smile at him sweetly, blinking slowly as you "subconsciously" rub your ankle with your foot.
He's silent for a second before he forces himself to focus on what you're actually saying. "Yeah, no problem"
"hey sweetheart, my foot hurts a lot.. do you think you could possibly massage it for me?" You ask shyly. "Yeah babe, which foot" he moves his chair closer to your hammock, slowing your rocking.
"my right" you lean your right foot off the hammock to have him hold it, spreading your legs in your small shorts . You lean your head back biting back a mischievous smile and when you look back a few seconds later you bet he's glancing from between your foot to your spread legs and your crotch, wondering how it smells right now. Pervert.
He starts rubbing your foot and you fake contented sighs and noises to rile him up.
"feel better?" He asks.
"Ugh yes, thank you katsu, feels so good" you praise in a sultry voice almost moaning .
You bite your lip and look at him, red cheeks, wettening pussy. You look him up and down , from his sweaty forehead to his wet muscles, down his tank and his boner in his shorts.
"So sexy katsuki" and his eyes turn darker you swear, his energy fully changes. From one of a hidden desire to making it known now.
"yeah? Says you. Layin there lookin like a fuckin princess. My princess" he smirks cockily as if you haven't been stringing him along this whole time. You smile.
"I want you" you breathe in deeply and sure enough his eyes zero in on your breasts, back to your face. he stands up
"Shit baby, don't gotta tell me twice" he picks you up off the hammock with ease along with a piece of fruit, popping it into your mouth.
You suck on the tips of his fingers when he puts it on your tongue, making eye contact, swirling your tongue around and when he removes them, wiping them on his shorts you start chewing it.
He kisses you hard, kisses your neck and cheek, moving your hips onto his cock as he walks back in the house.
He takes you to the bedroom, and you want him but you've just been outside for a better part of the hour in the heat, you wanna shower asap.
"wait kat-shower, I'm all sticky" he smirks at the innuendo and obliges but he also indulges in your sweaty , sticky body.
He licks a stripe up your hot neck, tasting the salty skin and moans as you sigh. He starts sucking on your neck as he lowers you onto the bathroom floor. You push him away to pull your tank off and he stares at your boobs. He immediately wants to take one in his mouth before you start pulling his tank off as well. You're both shirtless , he sucks your nipples , arms tight around your body as you pull on the tips of his hair.
"baby, stop real quick" you breathe out. He doesn't listen, too infatuated with your taste, scent, feel as he slaps your asscheek. "Ow! Katsuki" you push him away again , pulling your shorts and panties off at once, turning around to turn the shower knobs on to a room temperature to cool down.
Meanwhile he grips your hips and pulls your ass onto his hips, slotting his dick in between your cheeks , dry humping. You moan and move your hand behind you to grab his hand and he stops for a moment, only to pull his boxers and shorts down. Then he's flipping you around, picking you up and stepping into the shower, gasping at the cold water and you do love his expression.
His eyes screw closed and his mouth gasps, wide open. You're so turned on by him . He moves fingers down to your pussy to feel how wet you were before you're ruined by the shower water.
When he gets used to it quickly, he's back to you, pushing you against the shower wall, pulling the glass door closed. One of your legs are wrapped around his waist as his mouth slots on yours.
"fuck baby, everything about you turns me on so fucken much" he grunts out as he grinds his hard cock against your cunt.
You moan out and shudder as his tip hits against your clit again and again, your head being thrown against the wall, "oh, fuck Suki" and you look at him with puppy dog eyes , pleading for intentional stimulation
He smirks, "tell me whatcha want baby", and his canines are on display.
"Please fuck me katsuki, please" you whine. He reaches down and fingers your slit, then inserts two fingers into your cunt. You moan out, and he smiles, kissing, biting your neck, tits.
You grind back and forth on his hand, his wrist rubbing your clit deliciously.
"n-no katsuki, please" your pleading eyes ask him to really fuck you, not finger.
He pulls you off the wall and onto the other side, the glass door, face first. Well, face and tits first. If someone was watching on the outside, they'd see your face and boobs press against the glass.
He kneads the fat of your hips with one hand , grabs his cock and slides it up and down your wet slit , teasing you
"ugh fuck katsuki, come on!" You demand, softly hitting your fist on the door. His eyebrows raise behind you in disbelief .
"huh. Where are your manners, brat?" He spits, and slaps your ass cheek, hard.
"you want me to fuck you or not?"
You're nodding frantically with an apologetic expression , as if he can see. "Yeah, yeah, please, sorry baby" you whine.
He smiles, "there's my good girl" with a kiss to your neck as he inserts his tip into your hole, deliciously stretching you.
You moan out against the glass and push your hips back against him, grinding on him. The view he has of your back and ass arching back to grind on him is so irresistible he shoves himself fully in your cunt.
"Fuck!!! Oh-" you're moaning, begging for more, harder, faster deeper , everything and you don't even know what you're saying .
He groans and curses in your ear, adding to your arousal as he softly cants his hips into you.
He knows you want it hard and rough but he can't help but wanna make love to you. He kisses your neck repeatedly , sucking on the skin and grinding into your backside, squeezing your hips.
His arms move around you, one over your tits and the other across your waist as he uses your body, slowly- but harshly thrusting into you.
Your cheek presses to the glass along with one hand as your other snakes down to rub your clit.
His hips slap your ass at every thrust, and he groans loudly in your ear as you whimper and moan. His upper hand moves to your jaw, turning you to face him as he places a wet, heated kiss on your lips and expects you to kiss him back, like you're not being filled with a 7 inch thick dick again and again.
You both fuck for tiiime, your back to his large chest, on the wall as he holds you up and pounds into you the way you like, and having you bent over, hands on the floor like a dog.
Of course you cum, you cum multiple times. And when he fills you to the brim with his thick, sticky cum he kisses you deeply, kisses your temple and cheek because you're his prized possession.
Getting out, him pampering you and you both end up fucking again in the bedroom
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morroodle · 8 months
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Towards the end of day 4 of top surgery recovery and figured I'd share how it's going. Idk if this can help anyone else but its at least going to help me. Prepare for out of order chaos
The pain isn't too bad! Like yea it hurts but I got used to it and I can take pain meds to help
Getting out of bed is a pain in the ass though. Going from laying down to sitting up is HARD (it's definitely not because I have no abs)
Speaking of pain: the drains. They don't hurt by themselves but when I shift wrong and they tug? Not fun. Not sure how to explain it but pinching isn't inaccurate
Drain fluid. Does not smell good. It's not a very strong smell and you get used to it pretty fast but it's still not fun
I also. Do not smell good. God I can't wait to shower
My mom spilled the drain fluid on me. Twice. Ew.
It's fuckn ITCHY. Always just below where I can reach through the bandages. I am going to kill someone.
Other itches are annoying too. They may not be covered by bandages but with such limited mobility it's annoying. I got a back scratcher but those don't help much when you can barely move your arms
I've probably been moving more than I'm supposed to
Love it when I move wrong and suddenly there's pain and a very suspicious warm feeling and I can't check to see what's wrong because of the bandages
Bendy straw my beloved <333 the $20 ninjago cup I got from legoland is finally making itself worth it
The first day I was incredibly nauseous. I could barely sit up for a few minutes, much less stand. Made eating dinner... not easy.
Day 2 I was feeling great! Even touched some grass!
Day 3 morning: nearly threw up when changing my shirt. I didn't but oh god it was not fun. I've never been nauseous like that before, I was hot inside but my skin was cold and my mom said the color very literally drained from my face. Made me stuck in a chair for like 20 minutes until I could stomach going back to bed.
I'm fine now (probably)
I've been enjoying being taken care of. I'm lucky enough to have a very good support system and I appreciate it. I also appreciate always getting my pic of food >:D
God I want a hug. I'm gonna get so squished once I'm healed and I fully accept my fate
Mentioning again my hatred for the drains. I was very scared of them going into this, I didn't like the idea of having tubes both in and out of my body. I don't really care about that now, I don't see it and I've gotten used to it, but god they are so annoying
I'm not nearly as tired as I was expecting! Sure I'm a bit sleeper than normal but it's really not that bad.
I'm bored
I wanna draw ;-; I havent had motivation or ideas for weeks but the moment it becomes inconvenient? Release the floodgates!
I haven't actually noticed the lack of boobs much yet. Maybe it's because they're still bandaged and I can't see or maybe it's because I live in my mastectomy pillow but I haven't really had a rush of emotions yet
It's kinda weird. I was expecting to feel so much but everything so far just feels so... normal? It's not normal but I've gotten used to it. Its like I'm waiting for my emotions to catch up
That being said there is one thing I've noticed and definitely felt things about. I had a pretty big chest and there used to be quite a dip between them and now there's just... nothing. It's flat. I'm sure this is just a fraction of what I'll feel when I get the bandages off for the first time but this tiny bit that I can see and feel right now is... wow. It's weird. God I can't wait for the rest of it
That's all I can think of for now, I'll keep yall updated on how things go from here and hopefully this can help someone! I know most of this has been complaining but I am not trying to discourage anyone from this, I've just only experienced the bad parts so far. I'm sure I'll make a similar post listing all the positives once I get there but for now things aren't very fun
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Text
Anyway i had some gender feelings or something yesterday night and i wrote something
So you get to read it now
Warnings for periods, the resulting blood, dysphoria and dissociation or something like that i think
I'm washing out the period underwear in the sink. My hands are cold. Icy water-to get the blood out. Red clouds form in the water. I stand in front of the mirror and press the blood out. Again and again. It smells of iron. I do not look in the mirror. This is not my blood. Except it is. It's hard to imagine even if I can feel the wetness between my legs right now. I do look in the mirror. Someone looks back. It's me, or some version of me at least. My hair is short, cut and shaven just yesterday. I like it, love it fiercely. I do not love many things about myself. Most just are. Like my breasts clearly visible under my t-shirt. No bra because I'm about to go to bed. Or because I don't like the pressure around my chest. Or maybe because sometimes i look in the mirror and i feel bad and i want to cut my body up and remake into something new. I do not know into what. There are paths, things people similar to me have done. I do not know if i want them. My chest looks better under the t-shirt i wear. It's my little brother's. He doesn't like being called that anymore, he is a whole head bigger than me now. The t-shirt got too small for him. It fits me perfectly. It fits like my black hoodie and the jeans from the boy's section. I'm too small for the men's section. The person in the mirror isn't me. And yet, she is. They are. He is? They do not look like a man. Certainly not a girl anymore. She was a girl before, excited to try on makeup and grow breasts and become a woman. Or maybe just an adult? I do not like these things anymore. Or i do not like what people think of me when they see. They ask about boyfriends and fashion and dancing and things i liked years ago. (Maybe i still do?) My hands are red and i cannot tell if it's from the cold or the blood. The person in the mirror looks like a woman. That's what people say at least. But i like to think that sometimes they hesitate. That they cannot compress clothes and body and face and hair neatly into a picture in their mind. That they see, even for just a moment, that i am different. That i do not fit in their neat little binary. My brother has called me his brother in jokes before. I cannot tell wether i like it. I am lost in the dark, slowly taking step after step. I have to go back or around all the time. There are few things i have found. Some clothes. No more dancing. My hair. I have been told i look happier since my hair is short. It was the greatest compliment of all. I think my hair makes me look strong. I am not. I am tired. My hands are so so cold. My stomach hurts. And yet i stand up every day. Sometimes I am terrified people will find out. I do not quite know what they should find out. I am strange. I do not dare to call it any other word, not out loud at least. Not yet. Sometimes alone i try. There is almost no one i trust. Not with this. Too many times I thought maybe, some day. Only to hear them say vile things. About those people. About people like me. About me, though they do not know. It hurts. I cannot let it show. I gently disagree. Not too strong, never too strong. In my mind, i cross them of the list of possible safe people. The list is short now. Just two or three names. Maybe less. Longer if you everyone with a but. But I'll have to be sure. But i will have to explain. But they will never understand. I don't think anyone understands sometimes. A body that is mine and yet isn't. A body that i cannot make mine because I do not know how to. Because I do not know what is and isn't mine. I am stumbling in the darkness. My hands are freezing now, the water blood red. Literally. It is my blood. I have so many hurts, it is only fitting. The person in the mirror looks at me. It is me, in some strange way. I hope people hesitate when they see me. I hope one day, i will stop bleeding. For now, i revel in the feeling of freshly cut hair. That will have to do.
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now-we-say-c0ral · 3 months
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December 28, 2023
I'm still off sick until tomorrow because of this stomach bug. Been pooping less now but my stomach still hurts. What the fuck did I eat that upset my stomach so bad?
Ed went to work even though he wasn't 100%. I was nagging again but it feels like I'm talking to a tree. I just let him be and just told him to pack some medicine and his lunch as well.
I just played Pokemon the whole morning and made myself a high protein brunch-dinner around 12:30pm. Took a shower and went to the gym. I did chest, biceps, and abs today. It was a good session but my legs were a bit sore from yesterday's training. They're going to be screaming tomorrow when I'm hitting my legs again. I do legs twice a week now because Monty's legs inspired me to have cuts on my quads.
Went home and saw Ed covered in his warm poncho. That's cute. I reheated the mung beans and made some rice for his dinner. I won't be eating. I have to be more strict with myself because New Year will be the last time I'm going to be eating a lot of food. Fingers crossed.
Just playing Pokemon trying to fill the Pokedex and we're just watching JJK tonight. It's been a good day.
December 27, 2023
I was supposed to be working today but called in sick at 7am because of a 'stomach bug' and I'm not really feeling well. Ed wasn't feeling well too but he still insisted to go to work because that's just like him. I foresee that he will be back before 10am because he really didn't seem well sleeping last night. He came back drunk as fuck and he was running a fever, I think. It's the result of his relentless partying since the 23rd. Yes, I was nagging when he came back at 9:30am.
I went to the gym despite of my stomach bug and my stomach still hurts bad a lot. I did legs, abs, and shoulders. It was a good gym session for me. I also went to Morrisons to get some essentials for me and Ed because he's sick. I think it's Covid but we both tested and they came back negative.
I cooked mung bean soup for the sick boy and made him some Berocca to help him with his fever. He's still so warm. I told him to take a shower to help him.
I finished the Kitakami and Indigo Disk DLC last night and I've never been happier playing a DLC in Pokemon. It was so good! I love Carmine the most because she reminds me of me.
While I was in the grocery store, a thought came to me. It's so exhausting being a giver when you're in a relationship with a taker. Ed's not doing it on purpose. It's just how he is. That's him in his default. I'm exhausted and it took a lot of guts to finally say this because I've been trying to come up with explanations why I feel this way when I knew why from the start. I've changed, too. I'm less now. Maybe that's a good thing. I'm not going to be that tired anymore. I'm glad that I finally said it. It's so reaffirming. It's sad though that I have to keep myself from giving more of me to him but I'm happy because that means I get to have more of me for myself. I think it makes sense, right?
Kevin and I also agreed to meet for coffee on the 13th of Saturday. It's the third attempt after randomly seeing each other at the station to meet up for coffee but I think we'll see it through this time.
December 26, 2023
Finally! A long, well-deserved sleep after the physical stress that the 24-25th has given me. Those were happy days but I think ageing has made my mood sour. I think I grew up to be a Squidward.
I wanted to go to the gym but I saw online that they'll be reopening on the 27th. Seems like I can't burn the excess calories I've eaten the past few days. If it's not freezing cold here in the UK, it's fucking wet and windy. We can't choose a struggle here because we live with them all. Checking my bank account and I'm literally trying to process how I'm going to manage everything and it's not even January yet. I don't really know.
Ed went to Stevenage to attend their Filipino Christmas Party with his friends but I didn't want to attend mainly because my social battery has run out and I just want to be a potato in the bed gradually growing its roots.
I did nothing all day but I did record myself rapping Nicki Minaj's verse on Monster.
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sionnaigh · 9 months
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I try to make friends and I give them pieces of me and then I have to let them go one way or another and then they take those pieces with them and I'm starting to feel like this empty shell of flesh and unorganized thoughts.
I try to talk and I hurt the people around me. I reach out with claws instead of hands and everything and everyone starts bleeding. I open up and look for warmth but I turn others cold. Quite literally because I put him in fight or flight and he started shaking and his hands were freezing. And we both stay soft but this house is turning into a crime scene.
I try to meet up with friends and I can barely smile or make jokes anymore and I don't have the energy to think about shit to talk about. And I'm happy when they just want to sit with me and watch Netflix because I literally have nothing left. No personality. No joy. A collection of swear words and gaping wounds.
One of them said 'idk how we always end up talking about mental health' and I wanted to explain how it's all I can think about so it's my fault but instead I start vomiting words and feelings and when I throw out how I Google how to kill myself they get worried and give me that look. Pity.
And then other times I really want the word vomit to come out but instead my thoughts turn into static and my whole body burns and I want to scream scream SCREAM and ask for help but I know that if I do I might turn another person's hands cold.
'I'm not mad but I'm having bad thoughts so I need to leave for a minute' are the worst words to hear after you finally get a comprehendible sentence out. They think they can help me but every time I open my mouth, bullets seem to come out instead of letters.
I have to let them go when they hate me. I have to let them go when they love me. I have to let them go when I say nothing and when I say everything. I have to let them go when I only tell them half of the story. I have to let them go when I am filled with joy and when I am filled with sadness.
Now friends come by and I don't know how to behave. I don't know how to keep more distance, I don't know how to be closer. Neither have worked.
His hands were freezing and there were still words on my lips that needed to be spoken. He was shaking but I was still crying. And while I still needed him, I had to let him go. You wanted to know my pain and I have so much more to share and I gave you a teeny tiny look and your hands were freezing and you were shaking.
So I'll stop crying again. I'll start pretending again. Baby, I'm fine, it's just a moodswing. I swear it's not that bad. No, I'm not going to kill myself. No, you didn't do anything wrong, I'm sorry. No I'm not leaving you, promise. Yes I love you. Of course I do. I know you're sorry, you're just anxious, like me. We'll handle this, see, I'm fine.
But this pain is still scratching the back of my eyes and deep within my chest it still burns. My head still feels like I banged it against the wall. My throat still fucking swells. My jaw still locks. My toes still cramp. My stomach still turns. I still want to scream until my vocal cords snap.
The highs get higher and the lows get lower and I can't help but wonder if the high will be too high and I'll OD somewhere in a ditch or if the low will be too low and I'll hit a tree at 150km/h.
You'd think I'd have changed by now. But I still turn hands cold and make grown men cry.
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strange-ghoul · 1 year
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im... unwell. read tags
blood dripped down my body from my mouth. I couldn't identify where the pain was coming from, but it was somewhere.
I've thrown up multiple times by now. My body wracked with chills as I laid naked on the bathroom floor. I felt exposed, horrible, disgusting, but there I was. Alive. Somehow.
I crawled my way back to the toilet, throwing up again. The bile got onto my hair and stained my teeth, but I couldn't bring myself to take care of it. I had to get this... bug, out of my system.
The bug being something I didn't understand. It was a feeling in my chest, sinking into my stomach. It was something that began to take over my entire body, all the way to my brain. It made me feel deplorable, it made me feel like my body wasn't mine anymore. The urge to rip aspects of my body off were becoming more and more apparent, where soon I knew impulse control would fail.
Would it be so bad to take a knife to my chest, forever securing the feeling of steel and blood to me? Would it be so bad to take off what has hurt me?
I thought back to the bridge nearby. Maybe it's easier there. Maybe if I fall, I'll be okay. Maybe the darkness would hold me and coddle me, love me until even my memories became dust.
Nobody would be there, and it was night already; does a tree really make sound when it falls, even if nobody was there to hear it?
I crawled back to the side of the bathtub, tears already falling down my face again. Everything on my body felt like it was aching and burning.
How hard was it to be cared for? How hard was it for somebody to reach out to you and hold you? Even if it was metaphorically, even if it was just a writing, why was it so hard to be loved?
I can't feel love the same as others. I don't understand romance, I don't feel it. Neither do I understand human touch.
Was it because I was scarred from it? Was the abuse I endured just enough for me to swear it off wholly?
Or was it just me. Am I aromantic? Asexual? I think so. I have no desire for either, even if I acted that I did.
But did this mean I didn't deserve love?
It sure felt like it.
I took a shaky breath in, coughing out a sob. every tear hurt my head more and more, but I couldn't stop. The cold tiles below me now didn't give me any comfort, only resentment.
I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be held in some type of way. I wanted someone to hold me by the face and tell me they loved me unconditionally, even if I was stuck in a body that wasn't mine.
I need somebody to tell me that everything isn't for nothing. That I am smart, that I am okay, that I am worth more than what teachers, parents, and peers thought of me.
The work I produce from my hands- it's all a lie. I've convinced myself every comment was just a pity party. Who'd look at my creations and genuinely think anything good of it? They all had so many flaws which were irredeemable in my eyes. These people- They were my friends, my family- they just had to be being respectful, there was no way they could feel this way towards anything I wrote. It was wrong.
I don't deserve what I get from those works. I don't deserve the support I get. I don't deserve anything. I feel horrible getting it too- wasn't I supposed to feel prideful when my worked was commented on and loved? So why did I feel a stab of pang, why did I feel like I was never good enough to deserve those words?
Could it all trail back to my self-loathing that had already manifested itself within me?
... i don't know.
I don't feel right in this body of mine. It feels broken and unsustained. I look myself in the mirror and I don't believe it's mine. I can't recognize that face- I don't know who that is. I'm told over and over again it's mine, but it's like I can't compute that.
Perhaps that's why I couldn't understand anyone caring about me beyond the thin layer. Perhaps that's why I couldn't accept compliments about literally anything I've ever done.
... but I'm unsure if this is right.
I just wished I was loved, but I fear even then I'll think it's all pity. As I think everything is. Because, in essence,
Who'd give a shit about me?
My eye lids are heavy; even through the glaring lights of the bathroom was sleep slowly over taking me. I'll wake up tomorrow and regret everything I've ever said and done in regard to my mental health. I'll convince myself all over again that I don't need help and I am simply over dramatic. Tomorrow morning, I'll convince myself I am fine, and nothing will be wrong. And then I'll continue on pushing these thoughts, doubts, and self-hatred aside for another night similar to this one.
I place bets on myself occasionally- will this be the night I'm found dead, or will I hate myself for ever thinking I was anything but a fraud and nuisance?
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golden-aire-girl · 2 years
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.
#I really thought a fandom like the old guard featuring a strong female lead who happens to be black#two queer interracial relationships#and addressed the issues of being a minority immigrant would be the balm my soul has a been craving my entire fandom life#The canon is pretty much perfect for someone#and so it feels so personal that the most prolific writers and creators in the fandom chose the be racist bigotted and tokenize everything#that made this fandom so fucking special#it's just gutting#Its not that I wish someone would sensor AO3#I'm just hallowed out by how many creators are so comfortable in their racist tropes when it comes to Joe and Nicky#It literally makes my chest cold and stomach hurt because I don't want to do this in my free time#I don't want to fight this fight when I'm sitting on my bed looking for something fun#I'm so surprised that I'm taking this so personally but goddamn this is rough#I wish the biggest opinion I had to encounter was should Booker be forgiven or was his punishment fair?#but we're constantly at the baseline of hey Joe can be a complex interesting character too without being an angry rapist#Nicky can be shown to grow without dropping slurs every other word for the first half of your fic#Veronica Ngo is fucking gorgeous#Her eyes are not shaped like almonds#have you seen almonds?#can you be less lazy in your writing#ugh there are so many INCREDIBLE writers in this fandom I don't know why I'm wasting energy on the shabby charlatans#I wish I could block writers from my feed#I know some of them only know how to write garabge#and I want to take it out
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taechaos · 3 years
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Your Boy, No?
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pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader
genre: drabble, smut, college au
synopsis: You can't stand seeing Jungkook with another girl, so you give him a piece of your mind in a stranger's bedroom by becoming his outlet of sexual frustration.
warnings: losing virginity, riding, degradation
a/n: jungkook's character is not exactly submissive, so i added my own twists to this request. i hope you don't mind @madygswich c:
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word count: 2.5k
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You can't stop pouting. Holding back tears when seeing a woman perched up on Jungkook's lap while they make out has proven to be difficult, but you're trying. It hurts your heart; hell, you're aching everywhere. It doesn't take a genius to know he's doing it to get a reaction out of you when his eyes are throwing daggers at you with his tongue down another girl's throat.
Following Jungkook around like a lost puppy isn't ideal, especially at a frat party. He never gives you the time of the day if it's not out of menace, but you aren't willing to give up on him. It's just not possible when you are so in love with him, and so fucking jealous.
More than Jungkook, you're mad at the girl. You want to rip her heart out, make her suffer for ever touching the love of your life. You're becoming irrational, mentally cussing her out for being a whore while you stop yourself from breaking down in a house filled with horny young adults. You don't know a single person here, and you have to deal with your pent up emotions all by yourself.
You choke out a sob when Jungkook starts kneading the girl's ass shamelessly with her skirt hiked up to her back. They're being so inappropriate in the kitchen of a stranger's house, while you can't even take a sip from your spiked drink in the bustling living room. You abruptly stand up and throw away your plastic cup when Jungkook's hand disappears elsewhere, and you have an idea of what he's about to do. You march over to him, looking absolutely tiny next to the overbearing college students and you don't notice Jungkook's sinister smile as he watches you fume.
"Let go," you sound hoarse, and not at all intimidating when you push the girl off of his lap. She stumbles at the force, but you pay no mind to her confusion as you pull Jungkook up by his arm to drag him away. You think it's the anger and adrenaline giving you so much strength, but it's Jungkook amusing himself by allowing you to take him upstairs.
"This isn't a therapy session, little girl," he yells over the music, "I didn't come here to listen to you cry."
You huff and let a single tear slip before harshly wiping it away. When you reach the hallway, you enter the first bedroom you find. It's occupied by a foreplaying couple, but you're driven as you hiss, "Out!"
They leave at your demand, and you're confusing a lot of people tonight. Jungkook is surprised by your sudden aggression, but he doesn't stop with his remarks, "the chihuahua's gone mad."
"Shut up, Jungkook!" you whirl around angrily to face him. "How could you do that to me?!"
He quirks a brow. "Do what to you? I'm sorry, am I the one who forcefully brought you here? Am I tripping or are you?"
You push at his chest, "you're a fucking whore! Tonguing a girl in front of everyone, in front of me?"
His shoulders shake in silent laughter and you cross your arms when he starts cackling loudly. The music is drowned out and muffled behind the door, but it's nothing compared to how hysterically Jungkook is laughing.
"What's so funny?" you ask lamely. He throws his head back as he clutches his stomach, and you're starting to get annoyed. You push him on the bed, but he's still laughing. "Quit it already," your voice wavers, but you don't back down as you smack his chest. You place your knees on both sides of his hips to limit his movement and cover his mouth to shut him up.
His crescent eyes turn intense instantly as he glares at you under his hooded lids. He exerts only a tiny bit of his energy into pushing your hand away and you weakly collapse on him. It's foul play to compete with his muscles, and you realize he can snap you in half if he wanted to regardless of your rush of adrenaline.
You sit back up as he lowly speaks, "The fuck's it to you? I wanted to fuck her, and I was going to until you stepped in as if you're my girlfriend. Tell me why I shouldn't go back to her right now." He clasps his hands under his head, making himself comfortable with your weight pressing against his crotch.
"You know why," you huff with a frown, and you look so cute in the dim lighting with your baggy knitted sweater bunching up on the sleeves, sitting on his bulge with so much innocence in your expression. He's smitten, but it doesn't show in his cold stare. "I'm your girl, and I won't tolerate you messing around with other women. It's slutty!" You slightly bounce for emphasis, but your knee-length skirt hides your actions. Jungkook feels it with you, and his eyes trail down to your lower region.
"My girl?" he parrots with a raised brow. He gazes back into your eyes. "You do my homework."
"I don't care. I love you," you plead pathetically, "please say you love me back."
"Wasn't I a whore just a second ago?"
"You were! Apologize to me," you harshly yank his head back by his hair. He doesn't react in the slightest, so you softly add, "please."
"Oh little girl," he sighs, "are you really trying to dominate me right now?"
"I am dominating you. Promise me you won't kiss another girl like that again. I won't forgive you a second time."
"Yeah? What's my loss?"
"Well, you're lazy in school," you bluntly state, "and no one loves you like I do. No one would try to cater to you like I do. I'd do anything for you, Kookie." You tug down your skirt to take it off and plop back down on him before saying, "Including sex. You can only use me for your sexual needs."
He's enamored by your words, but he doesn't dare share it with you. Instead, he thrusts upwards and you yelp when you jump. "Go on then," he says nonchalantly. "Show me how much of a slut you are."
"U-Um, okay," you stutter and start unzipping his black denim jeans. You've seen a lot of porn videos to make sure you were prepared for the next step with Jungkook, but you have no experience with penetration.
And he realizes that rather quickly when you're so meek with your actions. With a groan, he asks, "You're not a fucking virgin, are you?"
"I've been saving it for the right guy," you answer with offence. This is a special occasion, and you want him to take it as seriously as you do. But it's definitely not a good idea to be snarky with him when you can barely remember the steps for safe sex. "Do you have a condom?"
"It's in my pocket," he grumbles and points at his front without taking it out himself. You're excited and nervous as you tear the wrapper and take out the preservative. You have no idea how to put it on, but you're topping so you clumsily push down his briefs. Jungkook is surprisingly throbbing under you, and you blush at the sight of his erection.
He stops himself from teasing you and saying that the girl from earlier gave him this boner, but he doesn't want to be cruel yet. It's your first time, and truthfully, he jacks off to thought of you too often anyway. He can handle being somewhat nice by staying quiet, but that doesn't mean he would teach you how to put on a condom.
You slip it on with little struggle, and don't waste any time in positioning his cock in your entrance. Before he can stop you, you sink down on his length with a painful moan. He wants to tell you that losing your virginity in this position is the most painful, but instead he groans, "Holy shit, how are you so fucking tight?"
It hurts so fucking bad. Your tear ducts are like clockwork as they water instantly, but you lower yourself down to the hilt anyway. You're quite literally sitting on his cock as you try to catch your breath because God, you're in so much pain.
"Fuck, are you okay?" he asks, but he's more worried about controlling himself from fucking into you before you can adjust. It's difficult, but he's trying.
"Jungkook," you whimper quietly with your eyes screwed shut, "it hurts."
"You're so fucking dumb for doing this, but you feel so fucking good," he pants as he holds your hips.
"Thank you," you muster out in a breath. A few seconds pass until the pain starts to numb, and you move against him very slowly. Your walls are stinging, but it feels like Heaven for Jungkook who you clench down on.
"Go up and down," he instructs with a bit lip. He tries to move your hips, but you're resisting in fear of another shock of pain. "Come on!"
"Can you wait?" you hiss through clenched teeth.
He's trying to rile you up when he says, "Sana wouldn't take this fucking long."
And it works, because you bounce once. "Don't say her name!"
He groans at your tightness, and he can't believe how wet you are. You're dripping on him, and he curses himself for holding back because of your hopeless romance. He can't entertain your conservative way of going on about this any longer, so he continues, "She would have made me cum by now, but this prissy princess can't even get a move on."
It's almost pathetic how one push from Jungkook makes you start moving, and it feels less uncomfortable to hop up and down against his pelvis. The filthy sound of slapping skin mixing with the generic radio music is making you feel so slutty because it's so stereotypical, but when Jungkook moans, it brings heat all over your body. You take your sweater off when sweat begins to cumulate on your temples, and he commands, "Take off your bra too."
He's thrusting into you as you unclasp the black material, freeing your breasts as he finds his new eyecandies. You are so pretty, your nipples are so hard, and your cunt sucks him in so perfectly. It almost upsets him when he realizes how much pleasure he's deprived himself of; the amount only you seem to be able to provide, because it's beyond physical intimacy.
"Good girl," he exhales and gently slams into you with his hands fondling your tits. You smile coyly through your tears, and he asks, "Does it still hurt?"
You contemplate for a second, because you don't feel the best yet, but you don't want to disappoint Jungkook either. "I-It doesn't," you lie.
Jungkook mentally rolls his eyes; he really wants to believe you so he can chase his high, but he sees right through you. He slaps your tit without mercy and chastises you, "don't lie. I thought this was your little moment of control."
"I'm sorry," you pout as you slowly ride him.
"Another lie," he slaps your other tit more harshly and you yelp.
"I'm not lying!" you plead and hasten your pace, desperate to sell your lie. It's working, because you're starting to feel a knot in your stomach the more you adjust.
He moans with you, and you lose yourself when he stills your hips and begins to fuck you himself. It's rough, loud, and the pain is your pleasure. His balls slap against your skin as he easily slides in and out of you with the help of your arousal. Your love dawns on him when you're so turned on for him without any foreplay, and he's on cloud nine because nothing can compare to being inside you.
The setting is so unlike you, fucking in someone's bedroom with a bunch of people behind the unlocked door who can barge in at any given moment, but he finds it so sexy. You only care about being with him, and you really do look like his slut now.
His hands start holding onto your ass, kneading it until it turns red with his fingerprints, and he demands you to kiss him. You're out of it, your ears are ringing and you can only moan out his name, but you can't bear to ignore him. Your lips fall on his, and the kiss is sloppy with his tongue all over your mouth. You can't keep up, but your chest swells with pride when you realize how needy he is for you. He goes as far as to spit in your mouth, and you swallow it without hesitation.
"You want me to play with your clit?" he murmurs against your lips, and his voice sounds so airy and melodic to your ears. "Hm? Want me to make you feel good, little slut?"
You whine without a clear response because his lips feel so soft and wet, and that's the only thing you can focus on. All you want to do is kiss him and he doesn't stop you from doing so, but you're even more overwhelmed when he starts touching you while penetrating you. "No," you whimper, "I'll cum."
"A slut can take it," he grunts and rubs your clit faster, and you come undone all too soon. You moan loudly as you tremble, shaking as he rides out your high with a pinch to your clit. You're numb when you collapse on top of him, but he's relentless with his thrusts. He's using your body as you intended, and he's vocal with his pleasure and teasing climax. It's remarkable how he holds you up when you've gone limp and still fucks you just as hard.
You want to record his voice when he starts to whine pathetically, but you have no energy left within. He's panting in your ear, and it's not long before his hips fall on the mattress with a sigh. He's surprised by how powerful his orgasm was, as he fills the condom with his release instantly. His cock is still nestled inside you as both of you recover from your climax.
"Get off," he taps your thigh, and he pushes you off when you don't obey immediately. Your spell has worn off as he starts to dress himself. "I'm going back to the dorms." You listen to him with your mind in a haze. "Unless you want to get raped on your way without me, get the fuck up now."
"Can you carry me please?"
He shrugs and swings your arm over his shoulder, picking up your body with ease. He collects your clothes in his hand, but doesn't hand them to you as he steps out of the room.
"W-Wait, Jungkook, I'm naked-"
"You're my girl, no? Be a good slut and shut the fuck up."
Dangling off his shoulder with your bare tits pressed against his back, you close your eyes and drift off on the way to campus.
Boyfriends typically drop their girlfriends off anyway, right?
514 notes · View notes
flareish · 3 years
Text
Anxiety
kuroo x reader
summary: you hide your anxiety from basically everyone including your boyfriend, until he finds out for himself
genre: hurt/comfort
warnings: Emetophobia Warning! description of nausea/vomit, anxiety, bit of angst but ends in fluff
word count: 2.0k
a/n: I tried to make this as close to my anxiety since I hadn’t known anyone with my kind of anxiety(symptom wise) until I was seventeen, which was a good ways into when I realized I had anxiety. So here is some nausea anxiety representation!
masterlist
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You tap your fingers in a mindless rhythm. Alternating the fingers and repeating them back and forth, trying to make it a game, a challenge. You did this over and over again to distract yourself from that all too familiar sinking feeling. That feeling like your stomach has managed to twist and knot itself a million times. Each bump of the bus made acid crawl up your throat. You crunched a mint in your mouth hoping the peppermint would soothe some of the nausea. It didn’t, but the thought was there. You just will yourself not to throw up on the bus, anything but that. The thought in itself makes you even more nervous, and in turn even sicker.
You don’t even know why you are anxious. Today is Kuroo’s big game, but it isn’t yours. You’ve been to a hundred of his games before but never before did you feel like this. Normally you get cute little butterflies, not an angry swarm of bees. The worst part is, there is Kuroo sat next to you happy as can be, completely oblivious. He keeps trying to drag you into conversations but you fear if you open your mouth for too long, all that will come up is vomit. So you keep your mouth firmly closed only smiling tightly or shaking your head at his prompts.
It's not exactly his fault though. He doesn’t actually know you have anxiety. It’s not something you really like to talk about. You are all for promoting the acceptance of mental health but you just find every time you tell someone the dynamic changes. Either they flat out don’t believe you since you “don’t seem like the type with anxiety”. Well duh, I don’t have social anxiety, I have situational anxiety. Like here in this situation. That or they suddenly treat me like I am incapable of handling myself. That whenever a slightly stressful event comes up, I am going to melt into a puddle of pure anxiety. Sorry but I’ve made it this far, I may have to throw up a few times on the way but I am still making it. 
So you just haven’t told Kuroo. You're just nervous that it will change the dynamic. You also don’t want to steal his spotlight. Today is supposed to be all about him. It's his big game. To suddenly speak up and tell him that his game is giving you anxiety would be selfish. So like you always have, you put a brave face on and face it head-on.
“Hey, are you okay?” Kuroo asks you, now facing you, “You look a little pale.”
“Hmm?,” You also turn to look at him, “Oh I am just a bit tired that’s all. I will be fine in an hour or so.” You hope at least. He nods relieved it's not something worse. 
You finally pull into the stadium and everyone is pushing their way off the bus. Luckily Kuroo is right by you to make sure you don't get accidentally pushed down the bus stairs and trampled. The team makes it’s to the bulletin board where they are given their matchups. Nekoma is paired with a pretty hard team. Suddenly, out of nowhere, you dry heave. You knew at the point you were going to throw up and within the next few minutes. 
“Hey I think I left something in the bus I’ll be right back.” You say to Kuroo before dashing off. He goes to reply but you are already gone. 
You make it around the back of the building before you throw up. At this point you’re kinda out of it, your mind is occupied on emptying your already empty stomach. Then you feel someone pull your hair back and gently rub your back. You don’t even have to look up to know it’s Kuroo. When you finish he hands you his water bottle.  You waterfall it and rinse your mouth out of that acidic taste. 
“What’s going on are you okay?” Kuroo asks full of concern. You hesitate for a moment, thinking of telling the truth. Then you remember this is supposed to be his day. 
“Sorry I must have caught a stomach bug.” He doesn’t completely buy it so you quickly add to it.
“I didn't feel great on the bus but I just thought it was because I was tired.” You feel bad lying, “I also don’t want to distract you before your game.” At that Kuroo quickly pulls you into a hug, “Your not a distraction, I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Your cheek is pressed against his chest and your hands grip the front of his shirt. 
“We should probably head back.” You mumble.
“Yeah.” He leans down to kiss you but you duck away. He looks incredibly offended and hurt at this.
“Dude I just threw up I don’t know if you want to do that.” 
“…Point.”
The two of you head back inside to the team, you feeling much better after throwing up. Before you know it, the competition has begun and Nekoma has won. You run down and celebrate with the team and it’s a happy day.
On the bus ride home Kuroo has a strange energy about him. Not like he’s mad more just like he’s just realized something. You nudge him and smile hoping to break him out of his little funk. He immediately smiles back and goes back to celebrating with the team. His reaction was almost like putting a mask on. You watch him for a moment before slipping into a conversation of your own.
When you make it back to school you go your separate ways. Him going to shower, and you to get home before it gets too late. A big hug before pushing away. You still refusing to kiss him after throwing up earlier in the day. 
You are laying on your bed, exhausted. Anxiety really takes a toll on your energy. Your thoughts are broken when your phone chimes with a text.  Leaning over to grab your phone off your bedside table you see it is from Kuroo. 
“Can you come over? I want to talk.”
No cute pet names. No slowly easing into it. Actually using proper grammar. Nothing in that message was a good sign. Just “I want to talk” was enough to make the acid begin to crawl again. You knew it had to be about today. Especially after you saw him zoning out on the bus. It had to be your anxiety episode. You knew he wouldn’t be happy you lied but going to this extent. Like he just found out you have anxiety and this is what he hits you with? The world’s most nerve-wracking text message. The only worse place than this would be “we need to talk”. That’s when you have really screwed up. So maybe you’ve only minorly screwed up since he said want not need. Does that mean you have the choice to say no? That was kind of tempting but you knew you would be tossing and turning all night thinking about what might be wrong. 
“Okay.” You reply to the text. Short and sweet. Putting on some shoes and grabbing a hoodie, you quietly slip out of your house. Kuroo’s house wasn’t too far but it was far enough. Enough to continue to stir in your intrusive and unstoppable thoughts. You eventually make it to his house and head in going straight for his room. Before you reach the door you hesitate and gather yourself. Preparing for whatever was about to come. 
When you go in you find Kuroo sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the bed. He jerkily looks up and you and gives you a tight smile. None of this is giving good signs. Something is very heavy on his mind. You sit down across from him, your back against the wall your feet almost touching. 
“So what was it you wanting to talk about.” You break the silence. He doesn’t respond for a moment. Just as you are about to try again he speaks up.
“Do you still love me?” Your face drops into confusion.
“Why wouldn’t I love you anymore?” You ask, suddenly realizing this wasn’t the conversation you were prepping yourself for. 
“You’ve been distant lately. You don’t tell me things like when you don’t feel good. I thought about it when I got home and I was wondering if you weren’t actually sick but just making the excuse because you got caught.” He’s very serious at the moment and his words hold a cold edge. 
“What do you mean get caught?” You match his tone. You weren’t planning on fighting but something about how he said it just set something off in you.
“You didn’t want to be there. Ever since this morning you were quiet and reserved. Even after the game, you wouldn’t even kiss me-”
“Yeah, cause I threw up! And how could I be faking it when I literally threw up.” You snap.
“You’ve been like this before though! Like last year’s big tournament you would barely talk to me.”
“That’s not true!” Although it kind of was just not the reason he thought.
“Oh yeah? What about at training camp you wouldn’t talk to me then either, you didn’t even eat with us you just sat on your own.” He threw back.
“Yeah, cause I have anxiety!” The words left your mouth before you knew it. Kuroo looked taken back.
“What?” His brow furrows, “Since when?” He’s not sure what to believe. You’re not surprised since you have worked very hard to hide it from everyone, accidentally sabotaging your own relationship without even knowing it. 
“Since forever. I just never told anyone.” You quietly say, ducking your head down.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” You didn’t even need to look up to see the hurt on his face, it was apparent in his voice. You start playing with your finger, tapping them in rhythms.
“I wanted to,” You mumble, “But whenever I do stuff changes and I didn’t want anything to change.” He shifts forward and you think he’s going to leave. Instead, he grabs your hands, stopping the pattern you had going. You look up.
“Did you think I would judge you?” He was staring straight into you, willing the truth to come out.
“Whenever I tell people they either don’t believe me and brush it off or treat me like I’m incapable of handling any amount of stress. I’ve never seen anyone react any differently so I was scared you would fall into one of those reactions and I didn’t know how I could handle that. I didn’t want my anxiety to be the thing to tear us apart. But I guess it still was.” By the end of your speech, your gaze has returned back to the floor, unable to hold eye contact for that long with him staring at you so strongly. You hear him sigh then you are pulled forward and into his arms. 
“I want to be your pillar of support. I want to be that third reaction that is one of acceptance, one that doesn’t drive you crazy.” He strokes your hair soothingly, his words making you tear up, “When you are ready I want you to tell me everything. From when you first noticed it, to where it is now, to how you deal with it, everything.” By now you are fully crying, absolutely collapsed into his chest. “I love you so much.” It gets muffled in his shirt but he hears it.
“I know, and I love you.”
It would take some time for Kuroo to get used to this change but slowly but surely he will be different from the rest and he will support you no matter what. Although he also respects your strength and knows you can handle your anxiety on your own, he is always there when you need it. He becomes the third unexpected and unheard-of reaction; acceptance.
339 notes · View notes
bruhstories · 3 years
Text
Fate
Summary: The Abduction of Persephone or how Levi couldn’t get you of his head.
Pairing: Hades!Levi x Persephone!Reader
Warnings & Content: nsfw, mentions of rape & incest (cause, you know, Zeus is a fucking entitled asshole and nobody fucking likes him), unprotected sex, oral sex (male receiving), fingering, language, loss of virginity
Word Count: 5.1 k
A/N: literally the only thing I have to say is that for the purpose of this fic, Hanji has she/her pronouns, and the first few paragraphs are written in third person xD happy reading!
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Help me...
Please...
Help... me...
Sweat drips from his forehead and his eyes shoot open. That damned dream again. That sweet voice again. Levi Hades can't comprehend why he was dreaming. Gods don'tdream. His bed seems empty, but he never needed anyone in it. For some reason, now he feels like someone is missing. He gets up, naked body and blank eyes watching over his realm from the balcony of his castle. Empty. Other than the souls of the dead that quietly dance around like little flames, it's empty. Other than Cerberus sleeping peacefully, it's empty. And so damn cold. Mortals mistaken the Underworld for a scorching hot place, but in reality, it's as cold as Levi Hades' heart. If he even has a heart.
He wraps his toga around his sculpted body, a wreath of laurels on his coal-black hair, donning his arms with silver bracelets and rings. Time doesn't exist in the world of the dead, but Levi Hades sticks to a strict schedule. He waves his hand and a scroll and quill magically appear on his marble desk. He can't trust Hermes with this message, and so he gives it to one of his dogs to deliver it to Hanji Hecate. Who better to interpret the meaning of his dream than the goddess of witchcraft herself? LeviHades surrounds himself in thick, grey smoke before he disappears from his bedroom.
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Somewhere on Earth, Y/N Persephone is being watched by Zeus. The powerful god cannot resist such a beauty, and he is known for having his way with anyone, even his own daughter. But it's not her time, he thinks, not just yet. She knows this, she knows what will happen to her when she reaches the age of marriage, and at night, when not a soul is awake, she sobs and prays that someone will find her and help her. She is willing to do anything to escape her father's clutches and her dark future. And every night she cries, it rains — it pours.
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At the outskirts of the Underworld, Hanji Hecate receives a message. She reads it carefully, and a knot forms in her stomach. The goddess heard the pleas of a girl, whom she believed to be a mortal, but if Levi Hades heard her, too, then it could only be another deity. HanjiHecate closes her eyes and performs a spell in the hopes of locating the desperate girl. It doesn't work. It doesn't work because, unbeknownst to her, Demeter is hiding her daughter from the preying eyes of Zeus.
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They searched for weeks, mortal weeks, for the crying goddess, but none of them had any luck. Y/N Persephone is somewhere in the shadows of Demeter, but even she knows her mother can't protect her forever. Zeus gets what Zeus wants eventually. The sun rises over the meadow, but Y/N Persephone doesn't know that because she's stuck weaving in a cave, sweat dripping down her forehead, hairs sticking to her face. The drakons Demeter placed at the entrance of the cave followed Y/N Persephone outside, guarding her as she washes herself in a nearby stream. He isn't supposed to be there. Levi Hades isn't supposed to peer at her naked body and the way she splashes the crystal-clear water. He was supposed to meet with Hanji Hecate and take a walk. He was supposed to go back to the Underworld after that. Yet here he is, spellbound by her gestures, her face, her eyes. And then, she sings. Y/N Persephone begins to sing and all the flowers around him bloom. Levi Hades goes into a shocked state, eyes wide open, brows raised. He knows that voice. He knows it because he's been dreaming it. His scent is picked up by the drakons and he disappears, leaving behind a trail of smoke.
"I found her, Hecate. I found her, but I can't get close to her."
"What do you mean you found her? Just like that?" Hanji Hecate's fingers trace the bark of a tree.
"It was fate. It must be." Levi Hades is desperate now.
"Calm down, Hades. I've never seen you so... twitchy." She laughs, kneeling in the grass. The witch plays with some fallen leaves, brown hair flowing in the wind.
"That's because you didn't see what I did. She started singing and flowers bloomed! I don't know what kind of nymph she is, but she is beautiful. Nothing like I've ever seen before."
"Oh, I never thought I'd live to see the day Hades falls in love." Hanji Hecate laughs again. "So why didn't you approach her?"
"Tch, because she was surrounded by drakons. I don't understand why a mere nymph would need so much protection."
The goddess gasps, all traces of happiness gone from her face, replaced by disappointment and anxiety. Levi Hades takes notice of this and places his cold hand on the witch's shoulder, but she flinches.
"You can't have her."
"You knowher?" His voice is condescending, offended that his good friend hid something like this from him.
"Hades, she's Demeter's daughter, Persephone. She's not just some nymph, but the goddess of spring." Hanji Hecate brings her palms together, forming a triangle. "We can't talk here."
Levi Hades nods and lets himself transported to the Underworld, back to the familiar souls lingering in the air.
"Talk, Hecate." He is impatient and demanding, arms folded across his chest.
"Zeus wants her, and Demeter and I are keeping her hidden." The deity explains with pain in her voice.
"Yes, well, you're not doing a very good job, now, are you?"
"Oi, the drakons noticed you. You don't think they would notice Zeus?" She snaps back, traces of arrogance in her voice.
"Hecate... it's Zeus. What would stop that brat from turning into a drakon fool her?"
The goddess shivers, shifting her weight from side to side.
"Do you have a better idea?"
"I do, actually. I'll bring Persephone here." LeviHades proudly states, but his face is still blank, not once betraying his true feelings.
"You'll... what?" Her mouth is slightly open, bewildered by the god.
"It's the only place Zeus doesn't have access without an invitation. Face it, Hecate, it's a good plan. Better than yours, anyway."
Hanji Hecate is speechless, completely at a loss for words. She ponders over the idea, a hand brought to her chin to think better.
"Alright, but what makes you think she'll just stroll through the gates of the Underworld without a complaint?"
"Oh, you've mistaken my words. I'll forcefully bring her here." He tilts his head, a semblance of a smirk on his lips.
"For fuck's sake, Hades, she's not what you'd expect. And what about me? I promised Demeter I would protect her!" HanjiHecate throws her hands in the air, her shadow taking the form of a raging dog.
"Do notchallenge me, witch. You know I can destroy you in the blink of an eye." LeviHades growls and her shadow restores itself to its natural shape. "Besides, you would still protect her. The Underworld is where you abide."
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She knows she shouldn't carelessly be out in the open one hour before her coming of age. But Y/N Persephone, with tears streaming down her beautiful face, embraced her future. She knows Zeus will come for her, and so she willingly gives herself to him. With poppy seeds, she put the drakons to sleep and left the cave, clad in a sheer toga, her body visible through the transparent fabric.
"If you want me, come and get me, father!" Y/N Persephone screams at the skies, the flora surrounding her slowly turning a dark shade of brown and dying, just like her innocence would die tonight. The earth shatters behind her, marigold flames and ashy smoke cracking open the soil. Shadowy figures emerge, grasping the young goddess' limbs and they drag her down, down, down to the Underworld. She is afraid, her heart beats faster as the moonlight disappears, and all she can see is darkness.
"I'm sorry I couldn't be gentler, but I didn't want Zeus to get the wrong idea."
"You're Hades, aren't you?"
"Yes, but please, call me Levi. Persephone, I presume." Levi doesn't smile, but his voice is warm, contrasting the cold that surrounded your body.
"Don't call me that." You spit back, confused as to why you were in his realm in the first place.
"You should be a little more grateful that I saved you, brat." He narrows his eyes down at you.
"Saved me? You abductedme. You're no better than him."
Hanji Hecate was right, you had fire in your soul, and an attitude that would drive Levi over the edge.
"Tch, don't compare me to that pretentious cock." The god scoffs and your expression softens.
"Zeus is a... cock? With a beak and feathers?" You giggle and he almost wants punch himself. How could he forget how innocent you are? Clearly, he's been spending too much time with Minthe.
"That's one way to put it."
"Is there another way?" You ask with your index finger brought to your lips, pure curiosity in your eyes.
"Forget that, you said you didn't want me to call you Persephone. How else should I address you?"
"Y/N." You tell him, eyes peering to the balcony of his castle and you skip to it. "Oh, this place is huge! What are those?" You point at the colourful flames dancing in the air.
"Souls." Levi joins you, resting his arms on the marble railing.
"They're beautiful!" You are in awe, and he is just as mesmerised by your beauty. Not one sane god or goddess would consider the souls of the dead beautiful.
"Look, Y/N, I heard you. In my dreams, I mean. I'm not going to hurt you, I brought you here to rescue you." He lies through his teeth. Levi did want to save you, he still does, but he can't deny the fact that he wanted you all to himself. "I'm gonna mind my own business, you mind yours. Try not to break anything. And don't, under any circumstances, make a mess out of my castle, or my realm."
You lean on the railing, nose scrunched and a hand on your hip.
"What am I supposed to do, then? And what about my mother? What about when spring comes and I have to bring it? What about Zeus?"
Levi grits his teeth, almost regretting his decision of saving you.
"Tch, I'll deal with Demeter. I'll tell Zeus I'm marrying you. You can go bring spring when it's due. Happy?" He pinches the bridge of his nose.
"And you won't taint my innocence?"
Oh, he will taint it, alright. But not just yet.
"I won't do anything you don't want me to do."
"You still didn't answer my first question. What am I supposed to do?" You shift your weight from one leg to the other, impatiently waiting for a proper answer from your captor.
"Anything you want, just don't get in my way when I'm dealing with the dead."
"You're an aggressive little man, you know that?"
Levi can feel a blood vessel bursting on his forehead. You were truly annoying, but he couldn't just sit around and wait for Zeus to have his way with you.
"Anyway, I suppose it is safer to be here." You rolled your eyes. "Got any books?"
"What, you read?" He snorts, a condescending brow arched.
"Don't patronise me. You're the one who abducted me, you could at least try to be nice to me."
Levi sighs. This wasn't how he imagined things would go. He imagined you'd make the perfect housewife and keep him some company.
"First floor. Just stay out of the restricted section."
"Why?"
"Because I said so. Zeus' beard, are you always this irritating?"
"Are you?" You chuckle, a hand hiding your smile.
With another sigh, Levi disappears, leaving you alone. "Great job, Y/N, you made the only person who took a crumb of pity on you to go away." You say to yourself, a pout on your lips.
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The Underworld wasn't as bad as you thought. Sure, there was the occasional fire popping from the ground here and there, and you had to be careful not to burn yourself, but overall, it was serene. Some parts of it were scorching hot, but mostly it was cold, and you always brought an extra cloak with you when exploring the realm. Levi wasn't always with you, in fact you haven't seen him in days, but you met his three-headed puppy. Well, puppy wasn't the best word to describe the creature, and it did try to eat you the first time, but you stood your ground and tamed the beast with your singing and eager belly rubs.
"This is a sight I never thought I'd live to see." Levi is shocked, watching his raging dog so calm. "Cerberus never lets anyone but me touch him." He gives the dog a few pats on his back.
"Well, Cerberus likes me better, don't you? Who's a good boy? You are, yes, you are!" You kiss all three muzzles and hug the gigantic beast, the heat of its fuzzy body warming you up.
"Oi, don't get ahead of yourself. Come here, Cerberus." Levi extends his arms and the creature is confused. "I said, come here."
The dog stops wagging its tail and plops next to you with a groan, one head resting in your arms. The shit-eating grin on your face is enough to make Levi sigh.
"See? I told you he likes me better." You poke your tongue out in triumph. You wave your hands and the god watches how you place three daffodil wreaths on each of Cerberus' heads. "Much better!"
"Y/N, he looks silly."
"No, he looks adorable! Here, I made you one, too."
Levi takes the flower crown and inspects it, careful not to crumble the petals.
"What is this?" He asks, marvelling at the beauty of the ice-blue colour of the plant.
"Uh, a flower crown?"
"Yeah, no shit. I meant what flower is this?"
"Oh, it's a blue poppy. One of the rarest plants in the world." You smile. "I think it suits you."
"You're an oddball."
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You sit in a lavish chair, all kinds of foods displayed on the table in front of you. Saliva pools in your mouth, but you decide to wait for Levi anyway. It's bad manners to start eating without the host, Demeter taught you that. Gods and goddess don't eat mortal foods, but sometimes they indulge in it, and tonight was one of those nights.
"Here, try this." Levi offers you a strange fruit, something humans have on earth, but different.
"What is it?" You poke your finger at the juicy fruit, sucking the sweetness from your digit.
"It's a pomegranate that only grows in the Underworld."
You pick at the seeds, popping one in your mouth. You couldn't believe something so good could grow in a cold place like this.
"So, what's the occasion?" You ask Levi as you eat three more seeds, the crimson juice staining your lips.
"Our wedding."
You accidentally swallow, choking on saliva and the pomegranate seeds, your fist hammering your chest as you gasp for air.
"What?"
"I told Zeus I'm marrying you and now he wants proof." Levi bluntly states, a chalice of nectar in his hand.
"No."
"You don't have a choice, unfortunately."
"But… I'm supposed to be a virgin. Marriage implies consumption of it." You slam your fists on the table. "My mother-"
"Your mother lied to you. You're a goddess of fertility for fuck's sake." He shrugs and you're shocked by how chilling his voice sounds. Sure, Levi was always brooding and silent, but now he was just inconsiderate. "However, I'm not a man who breaks his promises. I told you I won't do anything you don't want me to."
"Oh, how niceof you. I'm leaving." You stand up, pushing the chair away.
"And go where? Demeter can't protect you forever, and you don't stand a chance against Zeus."
"You know why I hate my name so much, Levi?" You growl, fingernails digging into the wooden table.
"Do, tell."
"Because it means destruction. A fitting name for a goddess of ‘fertility’, don't you think?" The table splits open and all the plates fall to the ground. Your normal, bubbly aura changes suddenly and there's a hint of red in your Y/E/C eyes. "You think I don't stand a chance against Zeus? I'm his offspring." You snap, and instead of flowers falling out of your hair, there's thorns, spikes and rusty leaves all over the place. The uglies, most poisonous plants sprout from the ground and you're no longer the goddess of spring, but the bringer of slaughter, and Levi is impressed. Now he really knows it was faith that brought you together, he knows your place is with him — with the dead.
"Marry me." He says, unmoved by your little show. Unmoved on the outside, because on the inside he wants to bend you over and fuck you silly. His words shouldfuel your rage, but you're too surprised by the fact that he still wants to marry you, despite your outburst.
"Why? Because Zeus wants that?" Vines protrude from your skin and your fingernails turn black. You were completely different than the helpless little girl he rescued that night. You were terrifying. But not to Levi — to him you were fascinating.
"Because I want that."
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It was safe to say you had fallen in love with Levi in those nine months since you came to the Underworld. He accepted you the way you were, he accepted your darkness, something not even your mother could do, and that's what triggered your feelings for the god of the dead. You still didn't allow him to call you Persephone, because you still hadn't fully embraced that part of you. Spring was almost due, but you promised Levi you'd go to earth after your wedding. Everyone would be there, including Demeter, which you haven't seen in a long time.
A soft knock interrupts your thoughts.
"Y/N, are you ready?"
"In a second, Hanji!"
"Oh, thank the gods for calling me that. I keep telling everyone I'm tired of Hecate but they don't care." The witch scoffs from the other side of the door.
"Has my mother arrived?" You ask, concern visible in your voice.
"Yes. And she's not happy."
"Hey," you open the door, "thanks for taking the blame and explaining things to her." You hug the goddess and she holds you tight.
"Don't worry about it, kid. It's me who should thank you. I don't know what you did to Levi, but he seems happier. He won't show it because he's a prick, but I can feel it."
You flash Hanji a genuine smile and ask her to fix your veil, to which she gladly accepts before escorting you to the castle grounds. Your mother should do this, but she hated her future groom, or your father, but he was a sick man who only decided to leave you alone because he respected Levi.
Every god and goddess of Olympus is here, even your uncle Poseidon. You emerge from the castle, arm looped around Hanji's and you smirk at Levi's shock. He never thought you could be more beautiful, yet here you are, dressed in silk, flowers on your hand and a thin veil clinging from the peony crown on your head. You catch a glimpse of Demeter before drifting your eyes to your future husband.
"Ladies and gentlemen, gods and goddesses, we have gathered here today to witness and bless the union between Levi, god of the Underworld, and Y/N, goddess of spring." Hanji proudly declares. The ceremony doesn't last too long, and when Levi's lips crush yours in what is your first kiss, thousands upon thousands of plants sprout from the soil, colourful flowers blooming and letting out the sweetest smells known to mankind. Love, he thinks, that's what love smells like.
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You're tired from the party, tired from all the talking and mingling, tired from your mother's lecture, and tired from avoiding your father. At least Hera was nice enough to wish you a happy marriage. You pace around your bedroom, sitting on the bed, then standing up again. Levi went to his chamber after the party, but you were expecting, no, you wanted to consume the marriage. You walk to his room, a toga lazily draped over your shoulders, and open the door without a single knock. He's in bed, the only light source being the colourful souls levitating outside his windows. You carefully push the covers and climb into the bed, gently scooching closer to him.
"Psst, husband, are you sleeping?" You poke his shoulder.
"Tch, not anymore." He sighs, not bothering to open his eyes and look at you. "What do you want?"
"Well, I'm glad you asked! Seeing as we're married now, I thought it's only natural for a wife to sleep with her husband." You roll on your side, propping yourself on your elbow. Tentatively, you tug on the fabric of the toga, exposing your shoulders and part of your breasts.
"So sleep." Levi finally lolls his head to the side, facing you. He did not expect to see you sprawled on his bed like that, in a lewd position and a playful smile on your soft lips. "You don't have to do this just because we're married.
"I'm doing it because I want to. And I know you want it, too, Levi." You purr, your fingers grazing over your collarbone.
"It's going to hurt." He warns you, but his hand is already on your thigh.
"I know. But you'll take good care of me, won't you?"
Levi has no idea which one of you is talking — Y/N, goddess of spring, or Y/N, goddess of destruction — and frankly he doesn't even care at this point. As long as he has your approval, he knows he can do whatever he wants. You pull him into a sloppy kiss, obviously inexperienced, but he likes it that way. He likes that you have no idea what you're doing because he can be in control. His hand runs up and down your thigh and you can feel heat building in your core.
"Tingles..." You mumble in his lips with a hazy smile.
"Have you ever touched yourself?" Levi pulls away and you nod. "Show me."
You feel embarrassed and small, but obey nonetheless. Your hand travels between your legs and your fingers touch your already swollen clit, rubbing it in circular motions. Levi watches you with hungry eyes, wanting very hard to abstain, but he can't, and so he takes your nipple in his hot mouth. You whimper at the new sensation, electricity shooting through your body as he snakes a hand between your thighs, two fingers diving into your cunt.
"Ah! L-Levi! So big!" You mewl and he throws his head back, releasing your poor nipple.
"That's nothing compared to what you'll get, you needy brat." He curls his fingers, hitting that sweet spot, and you buck your hips. Despite being a virgin, your body naturally knows what to do. Your spongy walls clench around his digits and Levi can already feel how tight you'll be around his cock. "You're so wet."
"Is t-that a good thing?" You're innocent and pure and you rock your hips back and forth, pathetic moans escaping your lips.
"Fuck, yes." Levi kisses you, and it's nothing like the kiss from your wedding. It's desperate and greedy, and he wants you all to himself. The pace quickens, he's pumping his fingers in and out of you faster and you don't know what to do, so you keep rubbing your clit and the familiar heat of your orgasm flushes through your body. You come undone on his hand, the sinful, squelching sound echoing in the bedroom.
"It didn't hurt at all!" You look at your husband, but there's a hint of mischief in your voice, a playful glisten in your eyes. Levi clicks his tongue, because the worst — and best — is yet to come, and you know it — you're no saint.
"Come here." Levi orders and yanks you by the hair, his aggressive gesture sending a shiver down your spine and into your cunt. "Be a good girl and open that pretty mouth for me."
You obey and part your luscious lips and then you see his cock for the first time — thick and veiny, it slaps your face as it pops out of his undergarments, the tip grazing over your cheeks.
"Levi that's... that's too big." You chew your lower lip and lean back.
"You'll be fine. You said it yourself, I'll take good care of you." He cups your face with one hand, thumb caressing your chin. "Now suck it. Make sure to use lots of spit."
You feel your cheeks hot and test the waters by giving the glistening tip a few licks, tongue swirling around it. It tastes salty, and you find yourself liking this. Levi pats your head, but you feel him tensing with each movement of your tongue.
"Shit." He curses under his breath and when you look up at him with doe eyes, his heart pounds into his chest. You courageously take the tip into your mouth, and with hollowed cheeks, you move further. "Yeah, just like that. Take it all."
Bobbing your head up and down, you try to take it all, but the girth and length is just too much, and tears pool at your eyes from the lack of air, but also from how good it feels to have a fat cock in your mouth. Muffled moans reverberate in your throat, and Levi can feel the vibrations tickling him. He firmly grabs your nape and holds your head in place.
"Trust me and relax, can you do that for me?"
You half-nod, anxious and somewhat excited for what is about to happen. Your husband rocks his hips back and forth slowly before aggressively fucking your poor throat, and you feel the arousal building in your core again. So much for promising your mother you'd always stay a virgin. You want to touch yourself again, but Levi slaps your hand away and thrusts into your mouth, holding your head still until you choke, your fingernails digging into his arm. The god pulls out and you gasp for air, and he almost feels sorry when he sees your pathetic state.
"A-again!" You flash him your pearls in a sultry smile, spit dripping down your chin. Who knew you liked asphyxiation?
"Needy brat."
"Please!"
"Tch, later. Right now, I want to fuck you." Levi growls and he already has you pinned on the bed, arms above your head and legs spread open for him. His cock presses against your slick slit and you brace yourself for the incoming pain. "If you want me to stop, tell me."
You don't have the time to nod when you feel a burning sensation between your legs. Squeezing your eyes shut, you bury the back of your head into the pillow and grip the sheets so tight your knuckles begin to lose their colour. Levi slowly pushes further, another inch buried in your cunt, and you bite on your lower lip. But you don't tell him to stop, instead your spongy walls clench around his cock and another inch gets lost in you.
You never thought gods could feel such immense pain, yet here you are, with a bloody lip from digging your teeth into it and a sore pussy. But the worst thing faded bit by bit when Levi bottomed out into your cunt. The two of you sit still, your husband allowing you to get used to his girth.
"Do you think I bled?" You ask, eyes filled with tears.
"Probably, but I promise it will never hurt like this from now on." He comforts you before licking the blood from your lips. The gesture makes your cunt flutter and Levi takes it as a sign to go on. Slowly, he rocks his hips back and forth, and the molten pain is replaced by tingles and arousal.
"You good?"
"Y-yes, oh, f- yes!"
"You can say fuck, you know?" Levi thrusts once, and it's so deep you feel his cock brush over your cervix.
"Fuck!" You cry out, legs wrapping around his waist to make sure he doesn't pull out. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
"Good girl."
There's no more room for gentle touches and soothing words when your husband fucks you raw. Your hips buck against his to feel that sweet pressure you never knew you longed for. In and out, his cock makes you feel sore and hazy, and you want more. The sound of his balls slapping your ass makes your mouth water and your eyes glossy, and Levi feels selfish. He pulls out, turns you over and takes you from behind, like a rabid dog fucking a bitch in heat. And you are in heat — you love the way his thrusts make you feel dumb, the way his cock stretches you, the way he uses and abuses your tight little cunt. Everything is so new to you and you adore every bit of it.
"Shit, I'm close." Levi warns you, his fingers digging into your hips, and you want to be good for him, so you drag your hand between your thighs and rub your swollen clit in frantic motions.
"L-Leeevi! I think I'm-"
"Fuck!"
When you feel a hot liquid shooting into you, your legs begin to tremble and you come on his cock, head falling onto the pillow with a heavy sigh. He pulls out and you already miss the feeling of being full, your juices mixed with his own dripping down out of you, down your thigh. You curl up next to your husband, hand holding his arm before you drift to sleep.
A sweet smell fills Levi's nostrils and when he looks at your tired body, there’s flowers in your messy hair. He still can't get used to the way your divine, disorganised powers work, but at least now he knows what's been missing from his life, and the corners of his mouth slightly twist upwards into a genuine smile. The god of the dead, in love with and married to the goddess of spring. Order and chaos blending together in one beautiful, perfectly arranged mess.
It’s fate. It must be fate that brought you together — but it’s love that will keep you together.
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tagging @starrynightlys @stolemyheart12
398 notes · View notes
izukulus · 3 years
Text
BEAUTIFUL
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pairing: izuku midoriya/gn!reader
words: 7.01k (i’m sorry)
content: cursing, angst, food mention, fluff, oblivious reader, whole lotta misunderstandings.
request: Hi!! I’ve followed your blog for a week now and I love your writing a lot. I have a one shot request for deku if you don’t mind? I’m thinking of like a tsundere-ish reader who has a crush on him but literally just short circuits whenever she talks to him because she can’t comprehend how nice he is, literally no thoughts head empty and it makes him think she doesn’t like him but he also has a crush on her? If this is too much just tell me and I’ll request somewhere else but I really like your writing :)
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this is bad. this is a bad awful never-should've-happened situation.
you're fucked. utterly fucked. and it's all izuku midoriya's fault.
to be fair to him, your crippling terror of intimacy and the fact that your entire body seemed to short-circuit around the boy probably didn't lend much help. it was ridiculous how he made you feel, like a stammering kid. the first time he talked to you with that bright, beaming smile, and his earnest wide eyes, you felt your stomach drop and your throat tighten in a manner that made speech impossible, so you literally just stared at him for a solid half-minute before turning and walking away as heat flooded your face.
you were down bad.
you thought your crush on the boy would lessen overtime, but it literally seemed to get worse as the year went on, because he was everywhere. you couldn't shake him. when he complimented your hero costume genuinely, cheeks flushing with excitement, you got so flustered you could only choke out a completely flat "thanks," before turning on your heel and putting as much distance between you two as possible. when you fought well at the sports festival and kirishima, kaminari and sero were congratulating you loudly and obnoxiously, jostling you between them as you laughed, midoriya squeezed his way through, beaming, and told you he thought your tactic was genius, how he hadn't even thought of it. you felt the smile slide from your face like oil on water, and you blinked blankly down at him as your brain tried to reboot and the silence stretched on until kirishima broke it with an awkward laugh, and midoriya looked away with a tiny, confused frown. you pretty much felt your heart crack in two at the honest sadness on his face, but all you could do was mutter "i'm going to prep for the next round," and hightail out of there as fast as you could.
you were awful to him, even if it was mostly unintentional. so why did he keep coming back?
like a bad penny, you could expect midoriya to crop up with a genial smile, or a heartfelt pep talk, or a supportive word of encouragement at any given opportunity. he was just - like that, so awe-inspiringly helpful and kind. it made your heart stutter in your chest when you watched him laugh bashfully with uraraka, or spar encouragingly with aoyama, or give ashido his sweater without second thought when she spilled water over her shirt. you saw how he physically swelled like he was being inflated when people thanked him, a pretty flush seeping over the plump apples of his cheeks. when they glowed red like that you just wanted to take the skin between your fingers and pinch. you wanted to thank him like everyone else did, to ruffle his stupid beautiful curls and punch his arm teasingly, but the thought of physical contact with him made you feel like you would spontaneously combust. you panicked enough just looking at the boy - god knows what kind of a mess you'd turn into if you returned his thoughtless touches, so you jerked your arm away when he put a consoling hand over it after you lost a sparring session, and pointedly refused to take his pretty scarred hand when you fell during a run and he stopped and doubled back for you with such honest concern on his face that it made your chest ache.
why... why did he care so much?
you were blunt and short and honestly pretty cold with him. you refused his help at every turn - though he diligently offered it at every other turn -, you took the furthest seat from him during group study sessions and flinched away when he got anywhere near you, curling in on yourself to try and soothe your thudding heart. you barely talked to him, and even that it was in monosyllables, short and curt lest your voice crack or come out strangled with how badly you wanted to pull him closer by his stupid short tie and kiss him silly.
you thought if you could keep your distance, and make him see that you weren't worth his kindness, you could let your stupid crush have room to breathe and then maybe it would begin to boil over.
reality, you learned, was often disappointing.
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the moment your stupid affliction manifested was a short way into u.a.'s first semester. you were generally an ambivert, so you were quiet toward the beginning of the year but started to really come out of your shell a few weeks in, particularly around the louder, more eccentric people in your class. it was like they pried a personality out of you - you shared inside jokes with sero that left you two cackling like hyenas in the back of class, you fended off kaminari's awkward flirting with barbs or even your own teasing that left him flustered and stammering, and you grinned and laughed when kirishima did, his cheer infectious. you hadn't given midoriya much notice - you thought he was pretty shy, and he mostly kept to his small, tight-knit group that didn't appear to gather a lot of attention, so you let them be happily. but one afternoon you stayed late to make use of the school's track field. you hadn't been taking your running seriously recently, and wanted to catch up on some lost time.
by the time you were done, the sun was beginning to set. the school, shadowed but shimmering with the bronze of the evening sun, looked glittering and regal, and a chill had begun to set in. you were drawing a close on what would be your final lap, when -
"mmphf!"
something hard collided with you, and you went careening sideways into the earth. landing on your side, you coughed out a breath and a groan, turning incredulous eyes to whoever had set you flying, and -
oh.
midoriya scrambled toward you, face openly horrified. his eyes were wide as they flicked over you, skimming your skin for injuries, lunging to one knee and holding out a hand, lower lip wobbling.
"i'm so sorry! i don't know how but i didn't even see you, i was so focused on heading out - you're not hurt, are you? i - i'm so clumsy, this is all my fault, i..."
his words went in one ear and out the other; there was a strange roaring in your head, like you were listening to someone from underwater, everything muffled, blurry, slow. the fiery light cast a glimmering halo through the forest-green of his curls, which came alive in the slight breeze, rising and shifting against the cherry-pink skin of his cheeks. his eyes, too, caught the gilded light, eyes which you once thought were simply plain green because something glittering and regal, something more precious you could ever make tangible and hold, wide and concerned and beautiful.
he was utterly beautiful.
you froze.
shit.
no, no, no.
that thought had to go away immediately. you were not doing this. you could feel blood rushing to your face as you realised he was still kneeling down, one soft pink lip caught worriedly between his teeth, a hand outstretched for you to take.
it was all you could do to push yourself to your feet in silence; your mouth felt dry, your tongue like sandpaper. midoriya watched you clamber to your feet with a hurt look, and you were stabbed in the chest with the image of a mournful puppy. he brought his hand back awkwardly, looking away, cheeks reddening. you could see the spray of freckles across his round cheeks and the snub of his nose.
"i - i was just leaving," you managed to dredge up, before immediately turning away and fleeing for your life.
fucking idiot. you were convinced there was but one braincell bouncing around in your stupid thick head.
why'd you have to go and get a crush on him?
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"oi, [surname]! we're heading down to dinner," ashido called, sticking her head round your door without knocking.
you glared over at her without any real heart, and closed your laptop, stretching languidly. it had been a long day of studying, and you were more than ready to eat. you were pretty sure it was bakugo's turn to assist in the kitchen, too, which meant a meal you could enjoy thoroughly. you and ashido chatted as you ambled down to the eating area, but as you got to the door, you froze, horror seeping through you and turning your body cold.
most everyone was already seated around the one long table; it seemed you and ashido were the last to arrive.
there were only two seats left.
one by kirishima, talking animatedly to bakugo whilst stuffing rice into his mouth, and one next to -
you blinked as ashido climbed into the seat by kirishima, throwing you a weird look, and you realised you'd been paralysed in the doorway for a good minute. you watched as midoriya noticed you, blinked, put the pieces together - and smiled with an expression that lit up his whole face, waving you over.
you couldn't move.
what was wrong with you? you willed your legs to work. by now, uraraka and iida had taken notice of you, and were staring between you and midoriya with slight frowns. it took all the effort in the world to keep your face blank as ashido called over to you.
"[surname]? you gonna sit?"
"not hungry," you blurted out, and didn't let it hang in the air for more than a second before pushing right back through the doors and making for your dorm. you didn't stop running until you were locked in the safety of your room, at which point you promptly began beating your head with your fists.
"fucking idiot!" you grunted. "what's wrong with you? moron, moron, moron."
in the canteen, midoriya's smile slid quickly into an expression of hurt disappointment. uraraka stared open-mouthed at the empty space you'd evacuated, whilst iida remarked on your rudeness, but all midoriya could feel was despair.
he was trying so hard to get you to like him. he had a sudden vision of himself, much younger, tailing pitifully after an ash-blond striding far ahead, leaving him choking on dust, calling out - "wait for me! wait up, kacchan!" and he sickened so quickly that his appetite evaporated.
he couldn't take this. if you kept looking at him like he was dirt under your shoe, he was going to break.
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"what was yesterday all about?" sero pressed at lunch the next day.
you lifted your gaze to meet his boredly, sucking at your juice through a straw - though your teeth clamped down instinctively at the question, wrinkling the plastic in your mouth. "what are you talking about?"
"i think he means how you bolted from dinner," kaminari supplied helpfully. "seriously, you looked like you were gonna be sick."
"i just wasn't hungry," you deflected firmly. ashido and kirishima exchanged looks dripping with doubt.
"is it about midoriya?" ashido poked. at the mention of his name, your hand tightened inexplicably; juice flooded your mouth too quick for you to swallow, and you doubled over, coughing hard as your cheeks grew hot. bakugo grunted in disgust and kirishima clapped you most unhelpfully on the back until you could breathe.
"so i'll take that as a yes?" mina raised her eyebrows. "sheesh. what's your problem with that kid?"
face burning, you slumped down furiously in your seat. "don't have a problem."
kaminari scoffed in disbelief. "serious? you hate that guy. i dunno why, he's nice enough - but it's like you can't stand him. you never talk to him, and when you do you sound like you're choking on nails."
your eyes fluttered in surprise. you'd wanted to put a healthy distance between you and midoriya, true, but hate? god, it's the opposite. every time he looked at you your brain stopped functioning, all you could think about was burying your face in his shoulder or running your hands over the coarse terrains of his hands or kissing his stupid round beautiful flushed face. the pull was so insistent it felt like an actual ache. did it really seem like you hated him?
"really?" you asked in a small voice, and the table cackled with scoffs of disbelief.
"you always look like you're a second away from chokeslamming him whenever he says anything to you!" sero replied in disbelief. "look, i know he can be a little - full on, i guess, but he's a good dude. he's nice to everyone."
yeah, you thought miserably. that's the fucking problem.
he's nice. maybe if that niceness just extended to you, you'd consider that you had a chance. but the fact was the kindness he displayed to you was the same he extended to literally everyone, even people who didn't deserve it. everyone was a lucky participant of his optimistic pep talks, his encouraging nods, his gentle, reassuring touches.
and after the way you'd treated him, he'd have to be an idiot to like you back.
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izuku midoriya was an idiot.
he knew this because he'd made the very grave and potentially life-ruining error in judgement of catching feelings for you.
he really couldn't do anything right, could he?
from the moment he saw you he knew it was hopeless. you were quiet at first, sure, but he took notice. he saw the fire in your eyes, the excitement to get going in the instinctive clench of your fists, the unrealised confidence in your smile. he took copious notes on your quirk during the villain-hero weapon field trip, filling up more than two pages with scribbles and sketches - twice he abruptly snapped out of his stupor to realise he was just sketching the shape of your eyes, flushed, and erased the streaks of lead guiltily. as the weeks passed, his admiration for you only grew. you were just so elegant, the way you had your quirk controlled so entirely down to your every whim was a spectacle to behold - and behold he did, when you fought, evaded, he watched your every move with so much fierce concentration his eyes watered from how little he was blinking.
you shone as bright as the sun. you were utterly beautiful.
he cursed his own shyness when he saw you chattering animatedly with kirishima, ruffling kaminari's hair, slinging an arm round sero's shoulders casually. he could watch you smile for the rest of his life and never get tired of it, he was sure - it was like you lit up from the inside, filled the room with light and warmth. it made him want to get stronger, to make you smile like that at him.
of course the first time he really managed to speak to you properly was when he sent you tumbling into the dirt.
he'd stayed behind to cram for an english test the next day and cut through the field. his mind was so consumed with thoughts of getting home and climbing into bed that he didn't even see them hurtling towards him until his shoulder knocked painfully into the soft muscle of their chest and they lost their footing.
izuku was abruptly horrified, guilt flooding his stomach - and then they rolled onto their back with a groan, and your face is the one he saw beneath the haze of honeyed light, casting shadows from the planes of your features, your eyes glittering and bright and distinctly annoyed, your skin shining with sweat, and his stomach dropped.
he was an idiot.
he scrambled down and offered you a hand up - as mortifying as this was, he'd take the opportunity to talk to you for the first time. maybe it was some weird kind of fate, that you'd both stayed behind, that you were in the same field, that he'd crossed just in time to knock into you. maybe he'd finally get to tell you how amazing he thought you were, and -
you were staring at him.
it was a flat, bored, cold stare that made his heart fall out of his chest. you glanced down at his hand - and then shifted backwards and pushed yourself abruptly to your feet, tearing your gaze from him. he blinked, feeling a cavity open up in his chest as you muttered something sharp and angry and bolted.
too despondent to even call after you, he watched you go, biting his lip so hard that tears filled his eyes.
despite this disastrous first attempt, izuku tried again and again to endear himself to you. at first, he thought it was just about ensuring you knew how incredible he thought you were. as someone who was rarely told so, he figured it must be nice to hear. but you evaded him at every step. when he caught your eye, your lips twisted into a frown and you looked away immediately. when he offered to tutor you in literature, all you did was fix him with a blank stare that made his stomach twist in knots before yaoyorozu gently told him that she'd be more than happy to do it. there was a tiny flare of hope when you two got randomly paired together for a field test - but even as he watched you swapped your token matching his with kirishima, who loped over with an apologetic smile. izuku still watched your fight with ojiro against tokoyami and tsuyu, and you were amazing as always - but he couldn't help but reflect gloomily on how good of a team the two of you would've been together instead.
he should probably give up. but he was never very good at that.
as more time passed, and izuku entered his third semester at u.a., the ache worsened. the cavity in his chest opened wider, swallowing his heart whole. uraraka and iida were sympathetic to his plight, but they didn't really understand.
"they treat you like garbage, midoriya," uraraka tutted one day as izuku stole glances at you from across the lunch hall. you were sitting with a parted mouth as kaminari threw candies in the air and you tried to catch them between your teeth.
"i just - think they're incredible," he replied softly, sadly, and even todoroki must've picked up on his low mood because he abruptly offered izuku half his soba.
but it was the truth. he'd admired you from afar, but even from that distance you'd imposed between the two of you, he could see you. he could see the light in your eyes, the fire in your smile, the life in your body when you laughed and fought and ate. it didn't matter to his heart that you ignored and rebuked him at every turn, not when it hammered so hard when he caught a glimpse of your smile, or when your eyes accidentally grazed his from across the room. that ache in his chest was going to eat him alive.
he had to tell you. soon. before he died.
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it started in your third semester at u.a.
on the first day back after break, you'd brought a suitcase full of luggage to your dorm and were struggling with hauling it up the stairs. yaoyorozu had busted the elevator by exceeding the weight limit with some of the furniture she'd brought from home, and the damn wheels kept catching on the stairs as you strained with it.
"oh! d- do you need help with that?"
your head shot up, dread burrowing in your chest. sure enough, midoriya hovered uncertainly at the base of the stairs, glancing at your stained arms worriedly.
"n- not that i think you can't handle it yourself, of course!" he blurted, waving his arms frantically. "i mean, i know you're super strong because i've watched you train - i mean, not watched, um - seen, you know, so - so you can probably get it up by yourself, i just thought - "
you blinked at the stammering, blushing green mess several stairs below you. be more perfect, go on!, you dared him furiously in your head. you could feel your cheeks growing hot as he scrambled to explain himself, and before you could form a coherent thought your traitorous mouth had opened itself up and -
"yes."
he froze, eyes fluttering in surprise, mouth a perfect 'o'. he looked so cute you wanted to scream. "s- sorry?"
"... i could use a hand," you spat, already thoroughly regretting this. it was just - you'd been back at u.a. for less than two hours, and you didn't think you could handle seeing the kicked puppy expression on midoriya's face so early. he froze for a good few seconds before his whole face flooded with colour, and he scrambled eagerly up the stairs to lift the other end of the suitcase effortlessly. you blinked at the ease he hefted it with. okay. wow.
fuck.
he was smiling so widely you had to look away or you'd do something stupid like kiss him, or drop your end of the suitcase. in silence, you hefted the thing all the way to your dorm room before you set it down heavily on the carpet, taking a second to catch your breath. a second too fucking long apparently, because midoriya had already turned his eyes to your shelves and was gazing curiously.
izuku midoriya was in your room.
the thought was enough to efficiently stop your breath from circulating, and you became paralysed in place as midoriya hummed curiously under his breath, ghosted his fingers over the ornaments and books on your shelf, feather-light touches, his eyes alight with interest. he was so soft like that, in his home clothes, a thick sweater over his shoulders, hair mussed, face open and tender as he handled your possessions with something like reverence.
when he turned around, pink-cheeked, you realised you'd been staring at him like a creep for a good two minutes. he blinked, caught off by the intensity of your gaze, and his flush grew deeper, contrasting prettily against his freckles. for a heart-stopping moment you just stared at him, trying to get your muscles to respond, and he stared right back, mouth parted, eyelids fluttering in surprise.
something wrenched in you; you made forward and he blinked rapidly and backed up, but you took his arm firmly and tugged him; he stumbled behind you with a squeak that you knew was going to be the next source of agonising pining for you for the next few weeks as you pulled him as gently as you dared outside your door and slammed it shut before he could speak.
this was getting so out of hand.
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11:42pm
from: midoriya
hey!! i'm not sure if you're awake or not, if you were sleeping just ignore this and i'm sorry to bother you!!
but if you're awake
11:44pm
from: midoriya
would you mind coming down to the common area?
i need to talk to you.
you blinked at your phone for several seconds straight; immediately anxiety pulsed through you, and you gripped your device like an anchor. what the fuck was this? was he going to tell you how much he hated you? not that you could blame him, but you didn't know if you'd be able to take anything less than his unending kindness from him without bursting into tears. god, fuck. you could simply pretend you hadn't seen the text. it was late enough that you could feasibly pretend you were asleep - and a second later you realised that was the point. midoriya had probably waited until a late enough time that you could pretend to ignore him for your own comfort.
because he was kind.
and you were a coward.
taking a deep breath, you typed out a short reply: 'down in five,' and steeled yourself. you'd been nothing but awful to him this whole year. you'd seen the hurt on his face when you declined his help, the disappointment when you could only stare at him rather than giving him a coherent answer, the trembling sadness when you avoided him like the plague. it was so much less than he deserved, this beautiful boy who gave and gave just because it was the right thing to do.
you owed him this, at least.
you shrugged on a hoodie and hid your hands, which were clenching anxiously into fists, in the pockets as you meandered down to the common room. when you peeked a head round the door, it was empty but for a figure on the couch. his back was mostly to you, but you could see his leg bouncing from where you stood, and the way he wiped his palms on his trousers, and from here you could hear him muttering softly to himself - a habit that seemed to weird everyone else out but you always found kind of attractive, for god knows what reason. you gritted your teeth and stepped inside, watching the way his eyes widened and his expression cleared when your presence became known. he jumped to his feet, a ball of nervous energy, and your eyes flicked down to where his scarred hands twisted against each other.
"you came!" he squeaked. "i - i mean i know you said you were going to, but i was starting to wonder - not that i think you're a liar or anything! it's just that..."
god, he was so cute you were going to combust. mostly for your own sanity, you cleared your throat, noting with a jumping heart the way he started to a halt, and that godforsaken flush crept over his face. he offered an embarrassed smile and brought a hand to rub at the back of his neck, and you bit the inside of your cheek harshly to stop yourself audibly whimpering.
"okay! um. i know you're probably wondering why you're down here, and i - i just have something i want to say. it's not - i mean, don't feel like you have to say anything back, i - i'll understand, i just need to tell you. because it's - it's driving me crazy, honestly," he mumbled, gaze fixated on the floor.
you braced yourself.
"i - i like you."
pause.
your faced collapsed into a blank shock that, for once, wasn't a conscious effort. you physically felt your stomach drop, your heart clench, the blood drain from your face. inside your hoodie pockets, your hands clenched so tightly that your nails left grooves on your palms. midoriya watched you with an expression that grew more troubled, and when he next spoke, his voice had grown tight and strangled.
"s-sorry," he whispered. "i know you don't feel the same. i - i know i annoy you, and you probably don't like me, and - and i'm sorry if i was ever a bother to you. i just wanted you to know... that i think you're incredible. you're so strong and - and full of life, and - i think you're perfect."
if you had been held at gunpoint and told to move, or think, or speak or else he would fire, tell your friends good fucking bye. you were absolutely rooted in place; the shock had turned your brain to jelly. he couldn't mean it, was your first thought. he's just nice. i'm the furthest thing from it. why would he like me? why?
the silence stretched on agonisingly. you wanted - so many things. to tell him you felt the same. to burst into tears. to card your fingers through his hair and press your lips against his. but instead you could only stare mutely, eyes wide, mouth parted, and midoriya physically drooped. you saw his eyes fill with tears and your heart cracked in two, and you screamed at yourself to move - but you couldn't.
"i understand," midoriya whispered, voice catching. "s- sorry, i don't mean to cry." don't apologise, you screamed in your head. "i'm sorry to be a bother to you. i - i'll let you sleep, i'm sure you must be tired."
with that, he stumbled quickly from the room. before the door slammed, you heard a muffled sob echo throughout the stairwell. was this how he felt, all those times, watching you run away from him? all you wanted was to tug him back by his hoodie and hold him to you until the tears disappeared. slowly, you sunk into the couch.
i’m the worst person alive, you told yourself dully, and you felt it. you gripped the roots of your hair, furious with yourself, awash in self-loathing. idiot, idiot, idiot!, you screamed in your head.
for the first time since this whole stupid crush debacle begun, you let yourself cry about it.
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the next morning saw you waking with bitterness at the back of your throat.
you felt raw and empty, like you'd just thrown up. you seriously considered skipping class, unable to stand the idea of facing midoriya after last night. he'd handed you his heart on a platter and you'd dropped it at his feet, and now he'd have come to his senses. perhaps he'd been blind to how awful you were because of his crush, but now surely he'd have opened his eyes and saw the truth - that you were so much less than what he deserved.
a tiny part of you broke at that thought, but you culled it quickly. it was no less than you deserved. you didn't get to be selfish about this.
so you made your way down to breakfast with a bowed head and slumped silently into the seat beside kirishima, who glanced at you with concern.
"everything alright?" he asked, and you winced at the volume of his voice. you nodded quickly and jammed your mouth with food so you didn't have to answer verbally.
you could feel eyes burning into the side of your head, and made the mistake of looking up; midoriya's blinked at being caught in the act and immediately ducked his head. he looked a mess - there were dark circles arching under his eyes, bruise-blue, and his waterline was irritated and red like he'd been crying. his hair was wilder than usual like he'd been tossing in his sleep - or even like he hadn't slept at all. your stomach clenched, sick with yourself.
he looked utterly miserable and it was your fault.
his face looked so empty without his beaming smile, his pleased blush, his scrunched nose. he looked pallid and drawn and just sad, empty, tired. even his freckles looked pale.
ashido nudged you. "what's going on? you look like death."
you sniffed and shook your head. "can't. tell you later," you promised under your breath, and ashido huffed but acquiesced. you missed the look of concern that shot between your friends with your head buried in your arms.
as promised, ashido cornered you at lunch as you set your tray on their table. you flinched, stomach roiling, but the way they were looking up at you, solemn and concerned, was too much to bear. clenching your fists tight, you choked it out:
"midoriya confessed to me."
there was a beat of silence. then -
"oh, shit!" kaminari exclaimed, his eyebrows raised. "he finally did it, huh?"
"what do you mean, finally?" you frowned, heart jumping into your throat.
sero looked at you like you'd grown a third head. "uh - i mean, you knew, right?"
you shook your head frantically, eyes popping. "no! what? are you saying you did?"
"well no shit!" ashido exclaimed, her own eyes bugging in disbelief. "are you kidding? anyone with a pair of eyes can see how in love that kid is with you!”
you blinked rapidly. "i - i never..." you trailed off, mortified. "i always thought he was just being nice."
"oh my god," kirishima exhaled in bewilderment. "you are so oblivious."
"so - what'd you say?" ashido pressed eagerly, and your sour mood returned immediately. you groaned and buried your head in your hands,
"i - i didn't say anything. i stared at him like he was an alien and he bolted."
a ringing silence descended on the group. when you peeked up, your friends were gaping at you.
"you're kidding," ashido said in a hushed voice. "oh, that poor baby."
"that's rough," sero agreed with a wince. "i mean - ouch, man."
"i know, i know," you wailed, distraught. "i just completely short-circuited, it was like i went into cardiac arrest. i had no idea what to say so i just - just - god."
kirishima blew out a breath slowly. "okay. we can fix this. it's midoriya, after all - he's understanding. just go talk to him and set the record straight. it's the manly thing to do."
"i agree," ashido said at once. "don't leave the poor guy hanging. tch, look at him, he's miserable!"
unwillingly, your eyes followed her gaze, and your heart lurched nauseatingly. midoriya was hunched over a still-full bento, resting his head on his fist. his eyes were unfocused and he was biting down on his lower lip in a way that made you think he was trying not to cry. uraraka patted his elbow sympathetically, but when she spoke he simply shook his head and screwed his eyes shut, and you watched helplessly as tears began to seep from beneath his closed eyelids, spilling over his cheeks.
"i'll do it," you muttered. "i'll - i'll talk to him tonight."
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the day went agonisingly sluggishly, but it did end eventually.
as soon as you got back to the dorms you went straight for your room, locked the door firmly, and promptly began to panic. you had to tell midoriya the truth. even if he hated you now, you owed it to him. and you thought maybe you owed it to yourself, too. you showered and changed and tried to distract yourself for the next few hours. dinner came and went with sero knocking at your door, but you told him you weren't hungry. the sky darkened. you watched the sunset from your window, thinking back to that time midoriya had knocked you over as you ran.
why couldn't you just have taken his fucking hand?
what, exactly, was wrong with you?
the golden light dwindled to darkness. finally, sick with nerves at just past eleven, you brought out your phone and opened midoriya's contact.
11:04pm
from: you
hi.
a minute passed. then three. then ten, fifteen, thirty. you paced anxiously, gnawing at your lip. he must've gone to sleep already, you told yourself dully. or he was ignoring you, as he had every right to. sick with heartache, you went to turn your phone off and crawl under the covers when the screen lit up.
11:39pm
from: midoriya
hey.
you were scrambling to message back before the notification had even vanished.
11:39pm
from: you
i'm sorry if i woke you
from: midoriya
i wasn't asleep. is everything okay??
you bit your lip, feeling your chest tighten. even after the way you treated him, he was still looking out for you. was it simply second nature to him?
from: you
no. i need to talk to you.
i understand if you don't want to see me but i rlly want to explain, i owe you this
a minute passed.
11:40pm
from: midoriya
do you want to come to my room? we can talk there.
or the common area if ur more comfortable there.
from: you
i'll be at ur room in five.
you were quiet as you made your way down the flight of stairs to the boys' rooms, well aware you were passed curfew. the last thing you wanted was to get midoriya into additional trouble. thankfully, aizawa seemed to be catching some much-needed sleep that night, and was nowhere in sight. silently, you crept toward midoriya's door, braced yourself, and knocked softly.
it clicked open immediately; the boy himself stood there in a plain shirt and shorts, all big red-rimmed eyes and soft, sleep-tousled hair. he shot you a small, nervous smile and stepped aside to let you in.
you couldn't help but smile a little at the decor: all might everything, walls to ceiling. it was stupidly adorable, if a little overbearing. you felt the judgemental eyes of the great hero trained on you from all sides as you turned to face the green-haired boy, who had taken a perch on the edge of his desk chair and was looking up at you expectantly, hands wringing against each other.
"um. thanks. for letting me see you," you murmured. his eyes shot open a little wider, and you realised with humiliation that that was probably the most you'd ever said to him at one time. cursing yourself, you hurried on. "i - i wanted to say i'm sorry about - how i responded to you last night. the truth is i just panicked, i - i just wasn't expecting - "
"i-it's alright," midoriya cut in agitatedly, waving his hands. "i - i shouldn't have sprung it on you like this, i never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. i only wanted..." he seemed to droop in his seat, eyes finding the floor. "i meant what i said," he continued in a tiny voice. "all of it. i'm not - not asking you to return how i f-feel, or anything - i know you deserve more than me, but i want you to know..." his gaze lifted; his virescent eyes seemed to shine like gems in the low light. "i think you're amazing. i always have."
your breath caught painfully in your throat, and you could feel your eyes welling with tears. he... after everything, he still thought... you reeled in a breath, two, willing yourself to speak.
and this time, you did.
"you're wrong," you murmured. "i don't deserve more than you. i - i hardly deserve you at all, midoriya, after the way i treated you. i'm so sorry. the truth is... i think you're amazing too."
a beat of silence. midoriya's mouth parted, eyes widened, and he went completely still, needing for you to continue. so you did, spilling out everything you'd kept bottled up for the months you'd known him.
"ever since that day you knocked me over i haven't stopped thinking about you," you admitted, and it was kind of humiliating but it felt like a weight off your chest and you thought maybe it was worth it for the way his lip trembled and his face flushed and his eyes flashed with barely-concealed hope. "i never knew what to say to you. or how to act. i'd never felt so strongly about someone before - it - it was like everything you did made me like you more. and with how awfully i treated you it never occurred to me that you could feel the same, so i thought i didn't have any chance at all." you felt the tears spill down your cheeks. "but what i'm trying to say, midoriya... i like you too."
a whimper greeted your ears at this confession, and you could see that midoriya had gotten shakily to his feet. he was staring at you like he could hardly believe you were real, and his own tears were running down his face but he hardly seemed to mind because his mouth had twisted into a hesitant smile.
"you - you mean it?" he whispered with reverence. he blinked, and his eyelashes kissed his cheek. "you... like me?"
"yes." the word felt like it was punched out of you, and midoriya's breath staggered as he reached out tentatively. you watched his hand move slowly towards you own - and for the first time ever, you didn't pull away. his fingers wrapped over your clenched fist, gently at first, like he was scared to hurt you. you choked back a gasp; you could feel every ridge, every callus, every scar on his hand. it was shaking, too, but when his grip tightened and he let out an incredulous little laugh that made you want to squeeze him, you lunged forward and wrapped your arms around him, bringing him in as close as you could and then some. his gasp of surprise was muffled against the crook of your neck where he buried his head, and when your arms came up to circle around him you felt him trembling delicately beneath you, and you suppressed a cry when his own arms wrapped around you, gripping like you'd disappear if he let go.
"am i dreaming?" he mumbled against your skin. the buzz of his speech shivered up your neck, a static shock beneath your skin. "are - are you real?"
"'m real," you murmured, voice shaking. he pulled back, face full of worship, and when you leant in to kiss him you swallowed his tiny gasp of surprise. it felt like a capillary burst in your brain when you finally felt him against you, like everything in your life had been leading up to this, your hands in the base of his green curls, his hands jerking uncertainly around your waist, the way he breathed with you. you felt the passing of several sunlit days on a track field before you pulled apart, knocking your forehead against his.
with a trembling hand, you wiped the remnants of tears from his cheeks. without thinking, you whispered, "i love your freckles."
he reddened. "i- you-"
you hummed, pressed a feather-light kiss to the constellations on his face. his eyes followed you, wider than you'd ever seen, brows sloping together, lip trembling, and he ducked his face into your hand on his cheek, blushing furiously. you chuckled and afforded his other cheek the same treatment, feeling the skin of his face reach boiling point beneath your skin.
"thank you," he murmured, voice caught, broken.
"thank you," you corrected sweetly, and he whined and buried his face in your collarbone, beaming and flushed.
as it turned out, you were both idiots. but it seemed to turn out okay, in the end.
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hawksugarbaby · 3 years
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Hawks x reader- snowed in
Fluff
The snow piled up around the door like Icing sugar decorating a cake and the windows frosted over with frozen icicles dangling from the ledge, threatening to pierce the soft snow. "It's so cold Kei" you ran your hands up and down your cold arms layered in goosebumps and pressed your glacial feet against his calves making him jolt forward "JESUS CHRIST!" he shouted wiggling away from your feet making you giggle.
"I'll put the heating on and close the curtains? That might help" he shrugged sending a crimson feather to do the work for him "mhm, you mean your wings will do it for you" you smile softly curling into his side and he grinned putting his arm on your head "you make a wonderful armrest" the bedsheets crinkled and shifted with your feet that kicked his shin jokingly "ouch, i'm in agony" he said casually without any indication he was in pain (because he wasn't) and you pouted angrily turning your head away from him which made his arm fall onto the bed "aw i'm sorry princess, you make a wonderful girlfriend too!" he kissed the back of your neck wrapping his arms around you and rolling you on top of him. "I love you~" he sang, drawing out the love and you dropped your annoyed expression, A bright smile etched on your face instead. "I love you too!"
Keigo wrapped his wings around you blanketing you in crimson feathers that kept the heat as close to you as possible. "Your pretty kei." you said bluntly, keeping your (e/c) eyes on his ruby pools "thank you baby so are you" you said kissing the tip of your nose making your face scrunch up and your eye's crinkle at the corners in a smile. Your legs tangled together and your arms were going numb, crushed between you and your boyfriends chard chest from the lack of options on where to put them.
"Your wings are so warm" you muttered nuzzling into his chest like a big cat, the thumping of his heart was steady and soothing and you matched your breathing to his without reasoning "are they? I never knew that" he sighed placing one hand against your head stroking your hair softly. "Yeah they're like a whole ass radiator connected to you" you said and he hummed in response. "A whole ass radiator?" he repeated teasingly and you snickered "a whole ass radiator" the confirmation made the two of you laugh slightly and keigo peeked out the window, the blinding white blurred from the frozen glass but as if waiting for it a frozen stalagmite fell from the ledge impaling the snow quickly. "Thank god we're not standing under those right now" keigo mumbled and closed the curtain again.
"I wish we could build a snowman or something" you sighed, leaning your head up again and wiggling to find comfort "yeah me too we could have- ow okay you just kneed me in the dick and I do not appreciate that" he wheezed his face burning red and eyes streaming tears "oh my god i'm so sorry I didn't even realise" you gasped kissing his face over and over as if it would alleviate some of the pain, you wiped the tears running down his face with your sleeve and buried your face in his chest. "y'could kiss it better" he teased earning a slap in the chest "KEIGO!" his chest vibrated and he squirmed.
"that feels fucking weird. Don't shout at my lungs what did they do to you?" he turned his face away like a dramatic character from a Shakespeare play and you rolled your eyes "I dunno but your still breathing so they have that to apologize for" keigo's mouth fell open in shock and his eye's rounded in amusement "i'm hurt" "no your not you liar" "I am truly in pain, I don't think I can go on" he clutched his shirt and said "just know I always loved you" then sank his head onto the pillow heavily his tongue lolling outside of his mouth.
You wailed loudly and dropped the back of your hand to your forehead "whyy! My one and only love, I'm sorry I never should have treated you so cruelly" your dramatization made the blonde laugh and you gasped "HE'S ALIVE!" the volume of your shouting was enough to have the neighbors bang on the wall in annoyance "SORRY MY BOYFRIEND WAS FUCKING DYING!" you shouted through the wall and rolled your eyes sinking back into keigo's chest and turning to your cheek rested against him instead. "Rude" you tutted and Keigo nodded in agreement, knocking his head against the headboard that banged against the wall annoying the neighbors further.
"Keigo I have a question" you lead the conversation and keigo panicked, what if you proposed, what if you asked him to propose, what if you wanted a dog, what if you wanted kids, what if you wanted food, oh god what if you wanted takeaway! With the snow building up to the letterbox he didn't imagine you would manage to get any takeaway to the house right now. Please don't want takeaway. "Do you like this house?" okay it's not takeaway "I think i'm content here but I wouldn't mind something new" he admit scratching the back of his neck and looking at the wall behind him "not a fan of the neighbors either" he stuck his tongue out and you chuckled drumming your fingers against his forearm.
"so I was wondering if you maybe, at some point it doesn't have to be now, and you don't have to make a decision right now but-" "spit it out princess, your stalling" he smiled stroking your cheek gently with his thumb and you sighed mumbling something under your breath earning a glower from your boyfriend. "Would you wanna move in with me? Eventually, If you want, you don't have to but I think it would be nice" you lowered your voice at the end.
Keigo laughed and kissed the top of your head "yeah I think that would be nice" he agreed and you grinned, a giddy feeling developing in your head and you wiggled in excitement. "If you keep wiggling your gonna create a problem you'll have to deal with" he smirked and you immediately stopped moving "I take back the proposition you can stay here with your horny ass." you tapped him on the nose sitting up and moving so you were straddling his stomach.
His wings couldn't wrap around you as well when you were sitting up so he dragged a blanket over your shoulders and tucked his wings back underneath him. "Could we get a bigger house? Maybe one with a nursery..." you trailed off. Fuck. there was the kid's question he was afraid of. Keigo figured he should ask the all important question soon, you had been dating for 4 years but keigo had never been so committed to a relationship before, maybe it was the abandonment issues or how his job filled up his life but you were special you were different. Maybe it was time for this conversation then.
"You want kids with me?" he asked in disbelief sitting himself up and sitting against the headboard analyzing you carefully like a trap "of course I want kids with you. Not right now but in the future i'd like kids" keigo had never come to terms with the idea of someone wanting to spend their life with him but as the snow fell caging you in he suddenly didn't mind more days like this. Talking and cuddling for the rest of time would be amazing but kids were scary to him, he wanted to be better than his father and he wanted to be there for his kids, pick them up from school and help them with homework but would his work get in the way?
"Kei I know you had an awful childhood, and I understand why you might feel... cautious about the idea of having children, but you are the only person I would even ever consider worthy of dating me never mind raising our kids" you comforted, kissing him softly placing your hand on his and squeezing tightly. "I just don't know if i'd ever be a good dad, i'm barely a good person, I literally just about function as a human" his eyes darted around the room for something to focus on but they kept landing on you. You were what he should focus on right now. "Baby you would be an amazing dad, a busy one yes, but an incredible one! And sure you're a little dysfunctional but so am I! Your an amazing person and I love you okay and if you don't want kids right now that's okay, we have all the time in the world-" "-we have until menopause" "we have until menopause"
He sighed and swallowed thickly "okay." he said curtly, nodding away to himself and pulling you in for a hug wrapped up by his wings. "Okay?" you raised your eyebrows and tilted your hand rubbing your cold hands up his back "I'd like kids eventually. But not right now I think I wanna marry you first" he sighed brushing your hair behind your ear and pulling you into a tight hug and crossing his fluffy wings behind you "y-you wanna marry m-me?" you stuttered and he laughed "of course I wanna marry you I just don't know your ring size yet and I didn't know if you want to marry me" he kissed your forehead and you smiled softly "of course I wanna marry you!" you exclaim wrapping your arms around him and barraging him with kisses across the bridge of his nose. "I'm glad because I wanna marry you too"
You lay there for a while longer just talking, it didn't matter what you talked about, you made a conversation out of it. "Can we PLEASE get a cat" you whined giving him your biggest puppy dog eyes but he remained stoic "we're not getting a fucking cat they just try to pull my feathers out and it's really annoying" he shook his head raising his palms to the sky "but they grow baack" you wiggled your arms and he chuckled and pet you on the head "i'm sorry baby it just really hurts and I don't wanna deal with that every day" he apologized and you sighed knowing you wouldn't get your way "what about a puppy then" "babyy"
You snuggled once again into his chest, filled with joy at the prospect of marrying keigo. "The snow isn't clearing up" keigo sighed knowing there wasn't much in his fridge right now "I don't have much to eat but I don't think I could get groceries right now" he tapped his chin and you popped your head up "to the kitchen we shall go and imma make the best damn meal we've ever had" you challenged yourself and keigo smirked "I could have you for dinner" he nuzzled into your neck and chuckled and you tutted tapping him on the head "Sorry baby you aren't a big enough portion size for me" you quickly jumped up dragging the blanket behind you like a cape and disappearing around the corner like the phantom of the opera. "My dignity" he lamented and strolled behind you.
You opened the fridge and immediately shut it again "you have chicken" "yep" "and only chicken" "yep" you smirked to himself and you sighed pinching the bridge of your nose and opening the fridge again and digging for something that resembled a meal. Eventually you had a chicken breast, a couple strips of prosciutto, various cheeses, flour, various spices, basil leaves, butter and olive oil. "Put a pan on with olive oil and butter will you love" you pulled out a chopping board and got to work butterflying the chicken breast "yes chef!"
You stuffed the chicken breast and basil and wrapped it back up in the prosciutto keeping it sealed together. "is the pan warm?" you asked, eating a handful of grated cheddar in the meantime and he nodded holding his hands over the pan for heat "OW okay rude" he pulled his hand off when freckles of oil jumped up and burned his hands. "Silly" you put the chicken in the pan and you jumped at the sizzling whirling behind hawks who folded his wings around you "it's okay baby don't worry" he said going full protection mode.
You served the meal and garnished it with basil and cheese skipping back to bed to eat the meal together. "Y'know this does look better than any KFC I've ever eaten" he praised and wrapped his wing around you turning on the tv that you only really needed for background noise as you usually talked over it anyway. "Hey kei" "yeah baby?" "I hope it snows like this all the time"
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