#It's all about knowing people's flaws and understanding their circumstances and giving them the support they need to grow

[mansplainmanipulatemalewife]

describe what love is to you and who represents it in your life

why does this remind me of being in primary school?

...what was I saying?

anyway uhhh idk how to explain it really it's just. It's not really an emotional thing it's just... safety and support? Like I want a nice warm burrow that all my friends can curl up inside while I make them soup. Like a badger or maybe a hobbit. That's what love feels like.

I guess the first person that comes to mind is my dad? idk how to explain it I think I just kind of... learned how to love from him. My mother is wonderful also of course, but like... she's a lot more overtly affectionate, which doesn't really resonate with me? I'm not really a very affectionate person - for me love is about ultimately being trusted to help shoulder the burdens of the people I care about with an unconditional lack of judgement.

I'm struggling to explain it but like... when I talk about understanding and a lack of judgement I don't mean agreement. I want what's best for my loved ones, and sometimes that means helping them be aware of their flaws and giving them the support and tools to grow as a person

[drdemonprince]

I have Borderline personality disorder and deal with chronic suicidal ideation. up to 10% of us *will* die by suicide. not *might* or *are more likely to.* *will.* which is 50 times greater than the general populace. it's hard to talk about and even harder to deal with bc it's such a heavy topic. the best thing, I think, is to just listen to somebody who is suicidal. let them talk about it. don't offer solutions, none of that "you have so much to live for" shit. the best thing you can say is "I understand how you feel." yeah I might think about suicide every day, but that doesn't mean I'll just suddenly pop and kms. suicides are largely decided within half an hour, and even more are decided within minutes. help a suicidal person feel grounded, let them know that you respect their decision should they follow through. they know that it's not the only way.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, anon. I would caution you very strongly to not take psychiatry's profoundly flawed and biased statistics as a predictive declaration of your fate, however.

*Will* makes it sound unchangeable no matter a BPDer's circumstances -- and given that psychiatry already operates out of the stereotype that BPDers are "incurable" (and therefore not worth much effort in helping), it's subject to a ton of bias. statistically, we can't actually say that a person "will" die of something like suicide with any certainty, as it's not a simple progressive illness like a cancer or something. suicide risk is dynamic and influenced by a person's social support, relationship dynamics, financial situation, whether they're on medications that exacerbate or help things, their trauma recovery, all kinds of things that *are* mutable.

Psychologists and psychiatrist are taught downright cruel things about people with BPD -- i've been in those programs, i've heard things that have shocked me -- and it leads to profound isolation, internalized stigma, and sometimes unnecessary death. many providers give up on ya'll or make things worse for you when they have no right to do that, and they're taught that it's the most yall deserve. that's part of why the suicide risk for BPDers is so consistent.

A person ought to have the freedom to choose death and preventing all suicides is not a respectful goal. I am a harm reductionist and supporter of body autonomy to the maximum. my point here is that when psychiatry says you and people like you "will" die by suicide 10% of the time, what they mean is that that's the general trend they have observed, and they have decided that because of their (bigoted, hateful, scientifically unsupported) belief that yall can never feel better that it's a loss they are okay with accepting.

Anyone who has heard nothing but negative things about BPD I would strong recommend pick up a copy of the book Psychiatric Hegemony.

Sorry for the aside and the rant, but I really want to make that reality exactingly clear. Living with suicide ideation doesn't mean a person can't have a worthwhile life, or that their existence wasn't meaningful and important however long or short that it was.

[jacarandaaaas]

What you hate about each Encanto character and what you love about each Encanto character?

oh this is such a fun ask! a hard question as I love all the madrigals and the fact they’re so flawed makes them more fun to follow!

alma: i love her commitment, how she vowed to protect all these people even sacrificing her own needs to provide for others, how she promised these people a place of refudge and was always there to provide.

dislike: An obvious one here but I dislike how controlling alma can be, how her need for perfection can blind her and lead her to disregarding her own families feelings as well as her own! Her generally dismissing a lot of the problems of her family like telling pepa to control her emotions or not realizing how hurtful her comments are to mirabel.

pepa: i love how emotional she is! when pepa loves she loves with her entire heart she pours her all into every interaction and she wears her heart on her sleeve! she’s so compassionate! pepa truly is an open book and I love her for it!

dislike: i would probably say how she can get irrational very quickly and cause situations to elevate fast! Although I really can’t blame her for this based on the circumstances!

julieta: i always describe julieta as warm and i feel like no other word can capture her comforting nature and gentleness. I just love her warmth and her soothing energy!

dislike: I would say how she tends to coddle mirabel a lot. I know it comes from a place of love but you can see it doesn’t help mirabel and only makes her feel more insecure because julieta doesn’t understand her.

bruno: for bruno I would say I love how selfless he is. It’s a big thing to sacrifice your own sanity like that for someone else and it’s touching how much he truly cares about mirabel to want to protect her like that.

dislike: i would have to say how he’s timid a lot of the time. It’s sad to see him become so resigned and almost accept his fate and stay in the walls possibly forever. He had no fight left in him.

felix: I adore how felix is just the epitome of life of the party! he’s so uplifting and I love how he never gives out to pepa for her emotions. He’s the best at cheering people up and a sunshine in everyone’s lives!

dislike: about felix? that’s hard to say I feel like we don’t see enough of him for me to really base my answer on anything so I’m just gonna say how he told pepa about the vision at dinner😭 dude that was the worst idea!!

agustín: i love how supportive he is! He continuously supports julieta he runs after luisa when she’s upset and he promises mirabel he would hide the vision to protect her! the fact both he and julieta tried to go after her when she ran for the candle too! He also fiercely stands up for mirabel in such an iconic way and he doesn’t back down!

dislike: I would have to say how he can often hammer in the fact he is also unexceptional to try relate to mirabel but it makes the situation worse.

isabela: I love how loyal isa is. She was doing everything for the sake of the family and was willing to sign her entire life away just to keep them happy. Her loyalty knows no limits and I just feel it’s such a defining trait for her.

dislike: probably how smug she can be at times a key example being the apologize scene! it is funny but it’s also infuriating how smug she was making mirabel apologize for something she didn’t even do. Also how she tells mirabel to shut up and her general rude remarks to her!

dolores: for dolores I would say I love how attentive she is! small scene but how she immediately notices alma needs help and goes to offer her support! She notices the small details even without her super hearing! Like how she points out how mariano talks loud even though she hears everyone’s voice his always stuck out to her <3

dislike: probably how she blurts stuff out without thinking it through! like we know she was trying to be helpful when she told the kids mirabel doesn’t have a gift but she didn’t consider how mirabel would feel about that.

luisa: I love how kind luisa is! she was always willing to lend a hand to the people who need her even when they absolutely could deal with a lot of issues themselves! She’s also very sensitive and soft and I love when she allows herself to be vulnerable!

dislike: this might be unexpected but for dislike i would have to say how she kept ignoring mirabel when she wanted to talk. I understand she was stressed and mirabels being irritating but she could atleast look at her, mirabels already ignored a lot already and all she wanted was to talk to her sister about an issue.

camilo: like how mirabel says in the opening song I love how camilo won’t stop until he makes people smile! whether it be through his humor or his compassion I get the impression he would always be there for people. the scene where he comforts pepa is such a key example of this!

dislike: he can be a bit too blunt at times where it’s definitely not called for! he also has a tendency to exaggerate the truth for dramatic effect!

mirabel: have always said this and always will mirabels core trait is her empathy! Her ability to see others perspectives and empathize with them is so important! I always think of the “I need you” scene as a key example of this. She put aside her own feelings and focused on supporting antonio making sure he’s ok! how when she learns of the other madrigals struggles she tries her best to help them or comfort them! empathy is such a strong defining trait for her!

dislike: when it comes to mirabels negative traits I would have to say her stubbornness is the most prominent. the entire scene in isabelas room is proof of this she would have rathered let that house collapse than apologize or even listen to isabelas struggles the fact she was supportive and empathic to everyone’s issues but isas (at first) she was too stubborn to put aside her issues with isa! but also her recklessness and impulsiveness tie into this as well.

antonio: I love everything about him he’s so sweet and caring and I love how he returns the support mirabel gave to him! he always believed in her and was her biggest supporter and best friend! also how offered his plushie to comfort bruno when he was nervous! antonio is just such a caring kid!

dislike: nothing literally nothing how can u dislike this baby?

[vegaseatsass]

Alright so 23.5 aka Toxic Positivity: The Series aka Everyone Teaches The Loser Queer Girl The World Is Kinder Than She Thinks By Viciously Gaslighting Her About Homophobia: The Series aka Teacher4Teacher Yuri and Everything Else Is Getting Memoryholed: The Series!!! I'm certain that so many words have been written about this already, but I haven't been on tumblr since Monday so I need to just exorcise my own reactions before I read anyone else's. I am really intentional these days about giving space to art to be descriptive rather than prescriptive, that is, to portray people acting in ways I find annoying or aggravating or cruel or despicable and to not jump to "how DARE this narrative betray me by saying it's good, actually, to be annoying or aggravating or cruel or despicable" even if the people who do those things in the text are supported by the other characters or circumstances in the text. I am very against "character acted badly, therefore bad things should happen to them so we can KNOW the narrative understands they were bad". However!!! For this series to have ONGSA'S OWN PARENTS ACT AS SPOKESPEOPLE FOR SUN'S PERSPECTIVE. Like her parents, who Ongsa was visibly afraid were going to reject her for her queerness, not only not care she's queer (because homophobia is fake in this universe except for Ongsa's inexplicable internalized homophobia which is treated as a character flaw), but behave like automatons Sun programmed dialogue into, scolding Ongsa for 1. not coming out to them sooner 2. "thinking for" Sun, as if that's something they'd have any context for (even IF Aylin and Alpha filled them in). That took the sense of "this narrative is taking Sun's side in her forced outing of her partner, doubling down on it and making sure every single character agrees she was right" to the next fucking level. It had the vibes of being a supportive coming out scene too but they weren't embracing their daughter for who she was - they certainly weren't letting her have her own identity and voice and needs! - they were just drumming home how correct Sun was in her every teenaged interpretation of who Ongsa was and should be. So that moved me firmly away from being able to employ a "Sun is a teenager behaving like a teenager" read on a storyline I find noxious. That moved us firmly into the territory of "we are being strongarmed into agreeing Sun is a JUSTIFIED, morally righteous teenager, who fixed her relationship/girlfriend by outing her against her will." It's just truly flabbergasting to me because without the outing plotline (which I understand was in the novel so maybe that's why it was forced on us despite its dissonance with the rest of the story), there are the ingredients of something I really, truly could have loved:

Sun being scared by the intensity of her own attachment and behaving badly because of it. This is literally one of my number one tropes of all time. I am OBSESSED with people becoming their worst selves because they're so terrified of how in love they are, the depth of their need for their partner.

Sun feeling bitter about giving up her future for Ongsa and not believing Ongsa (ONGSA) would do a similar level gesture for her, when Ongsa doesn't want her to give up her future for her and really Sun's bitterness is an internal cue that she doesn't want to give up her future herself, even if she loves Ongsa desperately and passionately.

Ongsa being so focused on what everyone else thinks of her and Sun that she can't hear Sun tell her what Sun thinks, and wants.

Much more importantly to me, Ongsa being so trapped in articulating her own needs as "I was worried about how things would affect you, Sun!" that she cannot voice her own actual feelings about things: "I don't want to come out because I'm afraid my parents will reject me." "I don't want to come out because I'm not ready for the entire school's hyper-scrutiny on me and my relationships." There was a really narratively rich story there where Ongsa tells Sun everything she does is with Sun in mind, and it takes a little bit of untangling to admit that actually, she has her own needs SUN is not hearing and those fucking matter too.

There was a great, great episode 11 conflict in those dynamics. They could have fought about who sits in front on Sunny the motorbike drawing on those dynamics and given me a more compelling episode than what we actually fucking got. You know? And that's not even getting into the, I feel, missteps with Aylin's writing and that relationship the past two episodes, or the way they won't let MawinTon be great and I'm actually afraid Mawin is going to end the series single and we'll be expected to appreciate how pure his supportive onesided love for Tinh is. Honestly probably good there was no teacher4teacher yuri in ep11 because I'm sure they would have found a way to ruin the number one thing I will be describing as this series' strength going forward. Well, that and the acting. MilkLove are acting their ASSES off. but for what.

[wormsin]

brudick headcanon (no underage): bruce just adores dick. like just in awe. dick misses it half the time because he's too busy with other priorities, but bruce is like bursting at the seams with how much he just wants to be around dick and protect him and shower w him gifts and love.

ok this is more meta and sad than what you were probably looking for.

(if I get into the how and why Bruce is a withholding communicator this post is going to be way too long, so let's skip that.)

Bruce's love for Dick is as bright as the sun. it's codependent and unhealthy. Bruce imprinted on a child orphan whose parents were murdered right in front of his eyes, just like Bruce. to B, on some level they are the same person. he believes that Dick will experience the same darkness he does—that B struggles with constantly—and needs to save Dick like he couldn't save himself.

whether or not Dick faces the same darkness in the same way (and I think there are arguments to both sides there), Bruce sees Dick as an extension of himself. Dick's achievements, his inherent goodness, his status as a symbol of hope, the very fact of him living in the world, is saving Bruce's life. B believes Dick leads a good life in a way he cannot.

and of course, Nightwing is maybe the most renown legacy hero. he is a skilled (and flawed) leader, an excellent mentor, the only one Bruce can trust with impossible missions (Spyral). on a personal level, B believes Dick is the glue that holds the batfam together. of course Bruce is in awe. he is bursting with pride. he idolizes Dick.

and he wants that goodness for himself. Dick home. safe from the darkness. at all costs, alive. loved. the problem is... unless Bruce understands that he deserves love himself, he cannot give or accept that love from Dick. because Dick is the part of Bruce that was saved. and Bruce is the last bulwark against darkness. and honestly, keeping Dick at arm's length is maybe the most appropriate decision Bruce has made regarding Dick in his entire life. if they're together as a couple, the codependency is THROUGH THE ROOF.

AND THE THING IS, being an idealized object of hope is a huge problem for Dick. forget being sexually objectified—he is objectified by the other capes, and by himself. Dick is flawed. he absolutely does not accept support from his friends or ask for help; does not even keep them close in his life. (this is partially a comics medium issue). a huge martyr complex, even for a hero. very few people allow Dick to have personhood, and those that do usually have rocky relationships with Dick (like Barbara).

ITS EVEN MORE WILD that Bruce idolizes Dick in this way, because Dick has killed people. and is willing to in extreme circumstances. maybe Bruce doesn't consider him stopping Joker's breathing/heart a true murder. probably he doesn't know about the others. even if he does, I don't think it would challenge his idea of Dick as uncorruptible.

in most worlds, they won't get together or change the push and pull of their codependence. the circumstances have to be exceptional, and they both need to do a lot of growing up. but if they are together, the affection and love is intense, because Bruce is a dramatic, obsessive romantic, and once the damn bursts he will not be able to stop himself.

[ohsocheesiness]

Played both Cyberpunk 2077 Phantom Liberty Endings

Both are super good in my opinion for V, Reed, and So Mi. Needed somewhere to post my thoughts.

My Natural Instinct

I did not trust So Mi at all, bro. Even from the beginning.. the thing with the chimera was suspect. Disappearing like that after I saved myers... idk bro. However, I do empathize with her circumstances. She's stuck somewhere where she's being abused. She's dying and she just wants to be free.

Don't trust Myers, but seemed the type to keep her end of the deal.

I didn't necessarily trust Reed either, but I believed in him. A man of principle who stuck by his team and country even if they did him dirty. I felt like So Mi only fake cared about me, but I felt like Reed truly did care about me and my life. He saw V as another of his comrads to protect. However, I knew it was his government that he'd unfortunately follow till his wheels deteriorated.

Following Reed

I believed that Reed 100% wanted to help So Mi escape. I told So Mi I only kind of trusted her and that I think Reed wants what's best for her.

Gameplay wise I think it's cool that following the FIA turned into a freaking horror survival game lmfao. I love the secret agent style shit in PL

Anyway, only in this ending do we learn that ROGUE AI are basically attacking her and using her as a fucking link to the physical world through the real net. She mentioned she felt like somebody was over her shoulder her whole time. It was THEM. I wonder what Alt would've had to say about it if I asked her tbh.

In the end though, there was a great moment with So Mi who was at her end. I had a save point and played out both instances if I killed her or if I let Reed take her. I don't really remember what my first instinct was to do... but after knowing both endings it would've been best just to kill her and give her freedom man. However, saving her gives us a bit more to Reed's character.

Reed is freaking depressed bro lmfao. He is the one keeping so mi in chains. He is the one locked in chains. He knows he's just a dog, enslaved to ideals he doesn't think truly matters, but it's all he has. The only thing he can do is lean into it, despite knowing it's flaws. "All that matters is that So Mi is still living." I think that's why Reed never comes suicide despite seeming so empty, he's strong enough to carry everything.. it's his duty even.

Ofc I accepted the offer to save my life, it made sense to me that they could really help and that Reed would do right by me.

FUCKING HURT ME that Johnny had to get destroyed so abruptly like that. I know he didn't want it. He accepted it though, his true death. Just Rogue and V being his last remnants of life in NC.

If you tell Reed thanks, he says something like "there's nothing to thank me for, V" and leaves, head hung down. Another life Reed took and ruined. Got So Mi on life support, enslaved by Myers, Alex killed, V some kind of wonky life so different than before. Coma for 2 years.

Also my Panam romance 💔💔💔💔 damnit! Panam is definitely the type to fucking be done with it cause she thinks I broke her heart but dang. Wish somebody would've went through my contacts and gave them the heads up 😐 but I LOVE what happened to Judy after this. She deserved the peace man. She's such a cool homie if you guys are platonic.

Following So Mi

I tried to play a lot more empathetic with So Mi and her circumstances, instead of just it being mutually beneficial. V was the only one who can understand what was happening to her.

& Since I played this second, I felt guilty asking her to use the black wall to hack shit and kill people while we were escaping from Hansen's spot. It's lowkey best to play this ending as a netrunner. You help So Mi a lot more directly.

So Mi is really just like V, kind of. She just wants to live, so she'll betray and lie to her friends and simply just have to feel bad about it afterwards. For the most part, V won't sell out to a corp, but So Mi kind of sold out her friends. Her character flaw I guess.

This is also the only ending where a diologue option will tell you MR BLUE EYES is the one who contacted her for NUSA info and hooked her up with a deal to get to the moon! This is the only time i remember hearing about him before you do the Sun ending. He definitely a major player in the next game and there's something he's trying to do involving space. Which is why i assume he sends V on a mission to the crystal palace.

Anyway, So Mi eventually reveals that she was lying to me the whole time. She knew it was only a one use kind of deal.... prick. But I told her I would've helped her anyway if she just told me.. which maybe I would've tbh.

I carried her to the rocket thing. Reed was waiting for you. You two are at odds now and he means business. He lowkey tries to butter you up about protecting So Mi, but call him on his bullshit. Then he switches up, he wants to take care in to answer for her crimes. I said I didn't want to have to shoot him. He said "neither do i" 🥹 but yea I popped his ass after he gave me no choice. In a certain regard I was happy he found peace. Killing reed is the best thing to do in this ending 100%

You hook So Mi in the rocket to the moon and talk with Johnny as you two watch her go into space. Real.

Wait long enough you get a mysterious message to go find a package. The package has evidence that So Mi is alive on the moon. Very cool! She lives in this ending. And she's free. I was actually super happy about that tbh.

Also with this ending, Alex lives. PL tried to give you a relationship with her... in the ending where she dies I was sad about it but got over it. In this ending where she lives you get another chance to chat with her. She calls you up to the bar and basically wants to ask about Reed's last moments and to say goodbye. I really liked Alex's character and appreciated this goodbye.

A while after this, you get a postcard on your megabuilding apartment door from Morocco. Alex is free too. A very good ending. Now it's up to V to find out how to survive (lol)

Which is better?

You get to see into So Mi's past with the first ending. First hand. You get some conversations with Reed that give him more depth, but So Mi either dies or might as well have died. Reed lives on avoiding his very clear regret, but may have found purpose. If you choose to take the help here V becoming just another face in the crowd... a bit of a shame if you played into the 'become a night city legend' but kind of deep and real considering now he has a new life, but had to go through a lot and lose a lot on the way.

With the second ending, Alex and So Mi live & them and Reed are free from being dogs to the NUSA government. You get your farewells... at least somebody gets a happy ending. With this, you also get your farewell with Johnny in one of the base endings. You can digest the weight of a life and choosing your own way to go. There's some moments in this, the conversations inbetween, in big fights, hand in hand with So Mi that make this worth while. Digesting it all with Johnny means a lot too.

So idk

[higaneion]

your character in 5 quotes

Repost, don't reblog.

Tell us your favorite quotes from your character. Give us an idea of who they are by five things they’ve said. Then tag your friends.

"Come on…be brave. Take that first step to live without fear…"

"So…everyone should have told me, you know…? They’re just…too considerate… I’m not…that weak…"

"Roy…please… Don't fail…"

"I just feel that you're not a bad person. I…trust you."

"I shall make Ostia a country in which our children can always be happy."

I was gathering her lines from FE6 and decided now is a good time as any to post them. There are extra notes on my thoughts below the cut because I feel like a lot of these need context.

This first one comes from her recruitment conversation with Gonzalez. I have read her supports a lot and honestly forgot about the recruitment conversations, but they are some of my favorites.

This is right after Hector's death, she is not having a good time, but she's trying her best! What else is significant about this quote is that before this she eggs on Eliwood about fighting and joining Roy and she gets shot down twice, painting a small glimpse of how she (and women in Elibe) are treated. Granted, she is 15 at the start and he is saying this because he doesn't want her to get hurt for fear of telling Hector, but he also sends his 15-year-old son to be the tactician and leader of the army, different circumstances I guess, but I don't know really. Tangent aside, I think this also means something to her because in her mind, she was going to find out eventually, but she just feels hurt that no one told her sooner, allowing her to believe that things were (sort of) fine outside of the walls, pointing once again to that bubble she's lived in all her life.

Okay so this is her death quote. HAHA But the way I interpreted it is that she basically says: keep moving on for the sake of Lycia, for peace, even when I'm gone, keep moving forward. Obviously this is a mouthful for someone dying unless you're an Engage character, so it keeps her last words short and bittersweet.

So, the context here is this is part of her support chain with Garret. She tries to befriend him, or at the very least make conversation with him as she does with many members of the army, regardless of station. The reason for me choosing this one is that thinking about what she's been through and what trust and honesty mean to her. You could look at it through two different lenses, one being she is just pure-hearted and believes there is good in everyone; this is true by the way. And the other being that she was betrayed by rebels under Ostia's banner, so I'd imagine that there is at least some reluctance to trust others, though her natural instinct is to do so anyway according to her supports/conversations. But to this end, she does give reasons later about why she does aside from "just a feeling"/intuition, that if he was going to kill her, he would have done it already. As she talks to people in the army from different walks of life, this aids her understanding and emotional maturity we see throughout the game.

This one is almost a red herring because the real star of this support chain is Ogier/Oujay. He has such banger lines that make me c': For a boy so young to have such sad but powerful lines... when in Fire Emblem... But anyway, talking about the quote, this one is kind of my least favorite out of the ones I picked but dialing back from the emotional maturity she does eventually develop, we see in this support just how out of touch she is with the rest of the world. She's very concerned in the moment with making friends and learning more about him that she doesn't consider the world they live in. Like, he says their family was poor and he's the breadwinner and she presses him with casual questions about his family like the small talk you would hear in school or something. Girl... But I think it works out in the end as it shows not only her flaws, but she admits to being so hasty and ignorant and tries to be more open-minded.

[otnesse]

This is a reply to @stupidflandersissexy's reblog to Marcia Brady's posts since I've been banned by the latter and thus can't do a direct reblog.

"

#some really interesting points here#the only thing I disagree is the little mermaid having the supposedly having lgbta subtext#there are other things people can be or feel like outsiders without being lgbt#but still good points#it's true that she doesn't have a job or anything#they were working to support their families and feed their kids

The LGBTA context is more of a yes and no,to me. I don't see it,but I can understand why people have such a point of view. Personally,Ariel comes across to me as way more of a curious,open-minded and analytical teen girl living in an intolerant society. One doesn't need to be gay to feel stiffled because of said circumstances(not to mention I've seen good cases for Ariel as an ableism allegory). Even the "turning human" can be about having the means to live a fully free life(another point towards a disability context,IMO. Accomodations,and all that jazz).

Now,onto Belle. She was supposed to be the misunderstood outcast whom people mercilessly judge due to not accepting different opinions,but she walked around the town getting lost on books while everyone else worked to make a living. Considering how Belle wasn't shown having to work,or otherwise struggling with finances,she truly came across as privileged and it gave the movie unintentional classist undertones - framing the girl who could afford to daydream 24/7 as inherently superior to the people who had to make a living generates some unfortunate implications. The worst is that said scene could be so easily changed by having Belle read while the rest of the villagers were having different ways of leisure and/or enjoying their free time,and show them bullying her(or at the very least gossiping about her) for not being as social.

The worst is that Belle could've been a great protagonist with that personality. A flawed heroine is a good way to stenghten the moral of the tale - true beauty comes from within. Then,Belle loves the Beast with all her heart,and vice-versa,making each other better people. Belle-as-a-snob also had the potential to make the point about the town being close-minded and judgemental stronger,by showing how such environment affected her. Maybe she was mistreated in some way,or whatever. To top it all,there's a parallel with Beast - there's a beautiful side in the prince,and there's a beastly side on Belle.

All the potential above was wasted on putting some girl on a pedestal."

Not to mention Ariel can also qualify as an autistic allegory as well. I know she certainly acted as one for me, at least (I need to know your secret on how you could understand how some people could view her as an LGBT allegory without agreeing with it, because I really can't understand it at all. Mostly because Ariel, heck, even her original counterpart, fell for someone of the opposite sex, meaning it killed any possible allegorical/metaphorical connections to that bit. Not to mention she stayed the gender she was born in, anyways. I think the closest I've ever gotten to seeing any allegory to LGBT to otherwise technically straight characters was with the protagonists from Sex and the City, and that's only because it was exceedingly transparent.). And a funny thing is, Ariel's part of the reason I converted from Episcopalean to Roman Catholicism as a kid (though unlike Ariel and Triton, my dad was supportive of it. Heck, my loyalty to Ariel and connection to her grew even stronger after a genuinely terrible College experience, one where the professors often times tried to beat my Conservativism out of me during lessons as well as brainwash me into their line of thinking. They ultimately failed, but I still carry the mental scars from it. In one sense, you could even see Ariel in the various conservatives on College campuses who are outright marginalized and not even allowed to speak and give their views on those college campuses (and you have to admit, regardless of your political views, conservatives STILL have some right to speak rather than constantly being silenced and even forcibly brainwashed).

As far as Belle... my current views on Belle are a bit more...complicated. I can't really say I'm necessarily "anti" towards her (Certainly I don't dislike or even hate her per-se. I guess the closest I can state to an actual negative emotion towards her is terror and fear, more on that later. There's still some potential to being restored, contrast with the Rebel Alliance with Star Wars, who I'm now fully anti towards thanks largely to George Lucas being a grade A idiot and boasting his pro-Vietcong credentials at their expense), but she definitely fell hard regarding likeability as of late (to give a good hint as to how far she fell for me, when I was younger, she was second place regarding the DP list, just below Ariel. Now? She's second-LAST, just barely above Merida). But I will say it's slightly closer to anti at this point. And there's a whole lot of reasons why she's a bit closer to the anti scale of things for me.

This may be multiple posts due to a text limit.

[mousegard]

i feel like so many of edelgard's positive qualities don't get enough attention in the fandom. like yes she's gay and beautiful and you can kill the pope together, which is wonderful, but it wouldn't be as wonderful without...

her humanism and her staunch faith in her ideals, namely that humans deserve better than magic dragon blood based feudalism— being so unwavering in those ideals that even at her worst and most desperate, she doesn't waver. she witnessed firsthand all of the worst humanity had to offer, and instead of closing herself off and becoming a misanthropist or a bitter pessimist, she committed herself to revolutionary humanism at an expected immense personal cost

she strives to be the best leader she can be and brings out the best in all the people around her, even if it takes her a little while to figure out what "the best" looks like in someone like linhardt. even in non-cf routes the absolute loyalty she has endeared herself to among her men is highlighted on multiple occasions

she's ruthless, but merciful. she treats even her worst enemies as mercifully as she can and exhibits a steadfast refusal to prioritize revenge over restorative justice. her wide perspective and compassion for all the world acts as the foundation for all of her values. and it's just there beneath the surface and the ice-hearted facade for those who care enough to look

she's soberly self-aware and at every step of her journey understands the full consequences of her actions to the best of her capabilities, and does everything she can to mitigate those consequences and wage as clean a war as she possibly can given her circumstances and constraints (raising the thorny issue of how "clean" a war can really be and how much culpability she bears in routes where she has less leverage over the agarthans)

one of edelgard's greatest flaws is that she can be quick to assume she knows what's best for everyone, and i love how that flaw is explored and overcome in canon vis a vis the support chains she has with linhardt and caspar, for example, where they push back against that tendency and she gains a better sense of what they really need as opposed to what she thinks they ought to need. i think it's that growth that ultimately separates her from people like rhea, seteth, and dimitri, and also that demonstrates that she among all the characters in three houses has the greatest aptitude for real and effective leadership (claude is a close second, and i love that they're both very good and effective leaders for different reasons). and, if i can get on my crack crossover bullshit for a sec, that's one axis where i think her personality and toriel's intersect, so it's been fun writing my undertale crossover and having them butt heads over being actually too like each other)

her most tragic flaw, of course, is that she thinks she's become something nobody could love or trust, and thus is resigned to dying alone as the villain in everybody's story. but the better angels of her nature are always fighting against that flaw. she honestly cannot fucking help but reach out to people, make connections, and give them helping hands, even if she lives with the constant sword of damocles looming over her head that it will all come crashing down and she'll be alone again. but she can't help herself. because that is who she is. nothing about her at heart is solitary. and that's one of the magical things about cf! validating her for reaching out in spite of everything! showing that the bonds she formed with her classmates and teachers weren't all for naught! showing that she doesn't have to live a solitary life as a tyrant and cement a place for herself on the wrong side of history! she is going to live and love and thrive and she will not do it alone. it's so beautiful. she's so beautiful

it's not that everything she does is good or right, or that she doesn't have blood on her hands. if that moral complexity wasn't there and she wasn't fully conscious of the oceans of blood she wades through in pursuit of a better world she would be such a less interesting and thought-provoking character. it's not that she's perfect... it's just that there is literally nothing i would change about her*

if you delve deeply into 3h's use of religion and religious symbolism in its story, there's a very interesting subtextual narrative that paints edelgard as a revolutionary who is not just a staunch humanist but also inadvertently doing the work of the goddess, even though she lost her faith long ago, and is willing to die and go down in history as a devil if it means having the slimmest chance of rescuing humanity from the tyranny of a false prophet

i honestly think she's one of the greatest revolutionary humanist icons i've ever seen in a video game. maybe any piece of mainstream media outside of a terry pratchett book. she's mary wollstonecraft with a giant fuckoff axe. she's napoleon meets emperor meiji. she's not the messiah, she's a very naughty girl. she's a female cringe ass lobster. she's as gay as the day is long. she's edelgard von hresvelg and i've written two million words about her and could easily write two million more

* except her species, of course

[theatresteph]

I’ve been seriously disappointed in my favourite shows over the years, and I feel like a big reason for that is because the writers try to pull off a tragic ending without understanding what a tragedy truly is.

TL;DR: the endings of GoT and The 100 weren’t tragedies, they were character massacres.

The reason that people loved Shakespeare’s tragedies when they were first performed is the same reason people still love them today. Why Romeo and Juliet is particularly beloved and remembered as the Shakespearean tragedy. It’s the same reason the Greek tragedies have been told over and over for centuries, have been studied by countless scholars and performers.

This is the basic definition of a tragedy, as written by Britannica:

But it’s far more than simply a character enduring sorrowful events. It’s the character enduring the events with a sense of hope or purpose.

It’s easy to create suffering in fiction, creating conflict is the basis for a narrative arc.

The hard part is balancing the suffering with hope, creating circumstances and decisions that push the character away from their desired goal, forcing them to either adapt or break.

A hero’s journey typically ends with the character adapting and self-actualising so that they find their internal needs, which often allows them to gain their external wants in turn. Hero’s journeys often have happy endings, but a hero can have a tragic ending if the writing has sowed the seeds for their tragedy throughout the plot.

R&J is such a great tragedy because the heroes are both victims of their circumstances, and active characters with flaws that leave them vulnerable to poor decisions. They are lovestruck teenagers trapped in a society where their families hold power over them and having any kind of relationship will get them killed, and their own naïveté prevents them from seeing too far outside the bubble of their love, from comprehending the many ways their plans could go awry and get themselves or others hurt.

A tragedy feels like a perfect storm; just the right balance of circumstances and choices to create something heartbreaking.

I feel like The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes is a great modern tragedy because Coriolanus Snow has all the makings of a hero yet has a limited amount of empathy, and his circumstances and the decisions he and the people around him make chips away at that empathy until he chooses to give up empathy entirely, to become the cold and chilling President Snow we know and hate from The Hunger Games. The audience feels the very moment he becomes the villain, and that journey is tragic.

Now that we’ve established what a tragedy is, let’s talk about what it very much isn’t.

It isn’t the characters suffering over and over again with very few moments of joy only to eventually die or end up alone for stupid reasons that don’t follow the natural arc of the story.

It isn’t showing the audience that there’s more to life than survival only to have the characters kill each other for stupid reasons and be judged by a higher power that has no empathy for their circumstances.

It isn’t taking the time to get the audience to understand the complex emotional and practical reasons why the characters make heartbreaking choices only for a deux ex machina to decide their fates for them.

It isn’t making the audience root for the characters for good reason only to turn around and say that they were secretly becoming evil/crazy the whole time when none of their actions in previous seasons supported that.

As I said before, tragedy is a perfect storm; it’s created from the beginning, it’s planned and executed by the writer so that the ending makes sense and feels appropriate. The writer sows the seeds of the characters’ downfalls so that the circumstances and decisions fall perfectly into place to create an ending that breaks your heart yet feels inevitable.

That’s the most important part; the inevitability. It has to feel as though any other ending would be impossible because it would be in complete defiance of who the characters are and the circumstances of the plot.

That’s why I will never take the TV endings to Game of Thrones and The 100 seriously. There are so many ways that the characters’ actions were contradictory to who they were. The writers had them making choices that didn’t make sense within the circumstances of the plot or within their own established identities.

The fundamental difference between good writing and bad writing is consistency. You can have a character make a bad choice if it’s consistent with their character, if it feels like something they would do. You can have a sad, depressing ending if you have already established the plot as being inherently sad and depressing.

The moment you lose the consistency is the moment you lose believability. And claiming your story was a tragedy all along won’t fix that if you didn’t write it as a tragedy to begin with.

I’m sick and tired of these terrible endings masquerading as tragedies. These writers wouldn’t know tragedy if it stabbed them in the back.

[meltedmercury]

My nickname in the UC discord was ‘aster but diagnosed’ and now that Amelia has acknowledged it I want to talk about why.

Minor spoilers for Unprepared Casters Arc 4.

Aster (no last name) has ADHD, and it is a major part of why he ended up leaving home.

Adhd is often seen as “haha this person talks too much and can’t sit still in class”, both in society in general and fandom spaces. People don’t talk about executive dysfunction- being unable to start or complete a task, even if it’s not a difficult one- or emotional dysregulation (compounded by frequent negative feedback from adults and peers) or pretty much anything other than impulse control issues.

Aster does lack impulse control, but he also has other signs and symptoms of ADHD that I won’t get into because I haven’t relistened to the arc yet.

These struggles are a prime excuse for the way Aster and Quinn’s parents treat them. I believe it’s called the golden child / scapegoat dynamic. Aster’s mistakes, mess-ups, and symptoms are treated as irredeemable character flaws. He is constantly unfavorably compared to his twin sister Quinn, who herself is harmed by 1) witnessing her brother, who she loves, being mistreated and 2) knowing (consciously or subconsciously) that her parents’ love is conditional upon her being well-behaved and accomplished. In other circumstances, Quinn and Aster could have ended up resenting each other for the family dynamic. The fault lies with their parents, who have failed to recognize and support their children as individuals with unique needs.

Aster is traumatized from being emotionally neglected in this way, but he is also traumatized by the experience of having an unnamed, invisible disability. He, too, has internalized the idea that he is the problem, that he will always be judged as a failure and deserves said judgement for not functioning as well as people like Quinn. His anger issues are an obvious result of this. Aster has ‘leaned in’ to his reputation as a troublemaker as an attempt to take control of the narrative, an overcorrection for likely years of trying and failing to live up to his parents standards. Feeling hopeless to improve, he gives in to his impulsivity, feeling like he has little to lose now. Is this healthy or productive? No. But he lacks literally any support system other than Quinn and some of their friends. They’re all just teens. No adults seem to care about Aster’s well-being, only about his rule breaking.

Even in a world where ADHD was a known thing and Aster had been diagnosed, it’s a lifelong disability. You don’t grow out of it and there is no cure. Aster’s parents would likely still treat him unsympathetically. “We pay for your medication, we got you a special education plan, we’re doing everything we can to help you.” “We just need you to put in the effort that everyone else is putting in.” It’s pretty much impossible to get non-disabled people to understand what it’s like having a disability. Shitty parents are going to be shitty parents, no matter the reason or pattern.

I don’t really have a conclusion to this, other than Haley did a fantastic job with this character and I wish I was a blue tiefling who could throw knives.

[akira-no-tsubasa]

I haven't blogged in a long time. I stopped writing because I felt like I didn't have anything to say but also too much to say.

In the past 6 years I've grown a lot and learned a lot. I fell in love three times.

The first time I fell in love with someone who was just kind. He was everything I needed after being in an extremely toxic and abusive relationship. We never fought and he never got angry with me. But in the end I had to end it because he had no motivation to pursue his goals, I couldn't bring up the things that were important because any argument would make him cry and I'm the type of person that is constantly trying to move forward in life. I was not content with staying just comfortable forever and I couldn't live with being the only one trying to make our lives better.

The second time, I fell in love with someone who was a kind and good person. He was like a knight, always saving me, always protecting me, always doing the right thing. I learned that I need more than just physical affection and protection. I need emotional support and sometimes just understanding. He saved me from the family that was killing me and he defended me against the people that were trying to hurt me. But despite everything, despite how hard we tried to keep it together, there have always been things about me that he wanted me to change. I was never the perfect person for him. I just wasn't enough for him... we weren't enough for each other. We weren't what each other needed. And because he's a good person and I'm a coward. He let me go so I could be with someone he felt would make me happy. The perfect knight until the very end.

It hurts more than anything in the world. I knew a long time ago... I fought so hard but in the end it didn't matter. I loved him, I still love him. I'll always love him. My life savior... and I couldn't give him a happy ending. I just want him to be free, I want him to be happy. Maybe now that he doesn't have to protect me anymore, maybe now he will be... now that he's free of me.

The last person I fell in love with took me completely off guard. At first he was a friend, he genuinely made an effort to get to know me. I've always been afraid of showing people how dark and twisted I am on the inside. Afraid that they'd run away if they saw all my flaws, afraid they would try to fix me and then realize I was damaged beyond repair and give up on me. But this person opened up to me first despite knowing I was too afraid and unwilling to open up to them in return. They trusted me 100% with their own darkness and insecurities. Each story shocking me because of how much I could relate to it all. It just gave me an urge to make sure he knew he wasn't alone. I didn't want him to feel what I felt when I opened up to people.

The first time he shared a really personal detail about himself and how he got through it and how he dealt with it made me see how strong he was as a person. He was the first person to ever make me feel inspired to be better and the first person to make me feel awe. I had never met anyone who went through similar if not worse circumstances than mine who still came out saying they were not only going to survive, but they would fight to be better, chase after their dreams despite all the odds, and bring other people up with them.

It was the scariest but most thrilling thing about him to me and I witnessed him do it. He makes things happen by pure force of will. He's the first person to earn my respect as a person. He's the closest thing to the ideal person of how I want to be, how I constantly strive to be.

He was the first friend I felt like may have greater aspirations in life than me and my expectations of myself are ridiculously high. But every time he says he's going to do something, he does it. Anytime I talked about anything, it didn't matter how small it was or how dumb it was, he was always a good friend. He always listened, he never pushed unless I needed it, and he always knew what I needed when I needed it. I could say nothing and he always understood.

The first real breakdown I had in years, he was the first person to check on me. The only person that knew what I needed at that time and actively acted on it. Instead of comforting me with a hug or telling me the standard "it'll be okay", he knew why I was spiraling, that I was blaming myself for things out of my control, and calmly explained to me why none of those things were my fault. He gave me encouragement and told me he was happy I opened up to him and happy that I trusted him. It was the first time I thought I loved him. I didn't know at the time what type of love it was, but I felt just pure admiration, respect, and affection.

When he suddenly had a major health emergency even without him saying anything to me about it, I just had a really bad feeling... like something was very wrong. When he told me what happened and how he was feeling, I felt his pain. And I did my best to give him the same support he gave me. I wanted him to know that there was someone out there in the world that genuinely cared. Somehow just that basic care was enough to make him treat me like I was worth more than the world.

All I did was validate his existence... there's nothing more simple and basic as a friend than to just support them when they're down. Things started to feel different suddenly when he started to point out every little thing he liked about me but when I'd point out all my flaws he told me I was perfect with my flaws and imperfections. He thought I was amazing just the way I am.

Suddenly I felt so much confusion. We were so far apart in age, he lived in a completely different country, and even if he'd seen pictures of me and we'd talk everyday, we were friends and I hadn't broken up with my boyfriend at the time yet. Even if we seemed perfect for each other, that isn't necessarily going to be enough to keep a long distance relationship going. I know more than anyone that love sometimes isn't enough to maintain a relationship. Plus I was so confused by the feelings in general, I tried to brush it off as just really strong feelings of friendship, it didn't mean anything. Because that would be better for me and be far less painful for everybody.

But I could only lie to myself for so long. The day I felt one of the most frustrating feelings of loss, I took time out to think and I realized I loved him. I couldn't even enjoy the feelings of being in love... all I could feel was pain because I knew what I would have to do but didn't want to.

I hid for 2 days, sitting on what I knew I needed to do eventually. I was terrified of the change and terrified of hurting someone. Even more than that I was terrified it would all be for nothing. I was terrified I would regret it. I was terrified of losing my savior and my best friend. I was terrified of doing something I knew had been coming down the line for a long time. I was paralyzed by fear. For the first time in my life, I couldn't do anything at all.

In the end, I wasn't strong enough to break it off myself. Once again, my savior saved me, but this time it was at the cost of his own happiness. He told me the break up was mutual but we both knew the truth. He gave me an out because he loved me and because I loved him, I knew I had to take the out. I couldn't hurt him more than he was already hurting. I couldn't lie and pretend like everything was fine and that we could keep going as we had been. Even with all our problems, I fell in love with someone else. He knew it and I knew it and it killed him. Watching him suffering killed me.

My third love has been extremely kind and understanding of everything. I told them both everything. I could never lie to the people I love. We're trying to work things out, long distance is hard but he visits me. He flew here and spent extra money just to see me. He loves me, it shouldn't be surprising since from the beginning, he always just understood me and accepted me. We always understand each other. He always tries to do whatever he can to give me the world like I'm important and special. If I believed in soulmates, I'd think he was mine.

I never imagined my love life would get this complicated or difficult but I'm slowly trying to get through everything one step at a time. Eventually all the bad emotions with fade and I'll feel only good things again... one day in the future

[lightcreators]

@mvndrvke continue from here (no access to Legacy Editor)

“I have,” Ahsoka says, gaze sad. “I did.” Before it had all been torn to pieces. Her head tilts at Luke’s description of Padme. It’s an accurate one, which she can’t deny is also heartbreaking. “She was reckless too,” she muses softly. “And impulsive. Far more than people gave her credit for. She was the best of the Senate. The galaxy has yet to see her equal.” She looks at him questioningly then. “I can’t imagine it would be easy. Holding so much but only in glimpses.”

Consciousness concerning delicacy of their current conversation had been taken in consideration since the beginning. How weight of remembrances would hit her, inside countless what ifs, inside all unsaid regrets should probably holding towards circumstances evolution, about how Anakin ended up inside that brutal path, or even how he came inside an victim of associated circumstances … weren’t something, emotionally, mentally, that could be awakening heartlessly. On his side, there was an protective desire to protecting both memories of his parents, preserving an far away past long before tragedy came around --- Hence, there was an absence of exposed surprise concerning about how, indeed, Anakin’s Padawan and his mother did met inside circumstances before. There was a curious gaze, even if gentleness expression exposed how there was all necessary time for confessions. It won’t change how every remnant of an distant present would be keep safe of someone else hands --- somewhere where ruins of the past could remained as history mark, as remembrances not to forget for offer an better future … towards such topic, he always had fragmented perspective of people who had been close to them --- considering Ben never mentioned his mother an single time, and have an altered view considering the loss and the guilt towards his Padawan, where some of truths had been distorted in the process. ❝ I wonder how chaotic must have been meetings between the Jedi Order and the Senate … ❞ He mused gently, as he assumed inside that sentence he expected some tensions. Master Yoda never mentioned it after all. He had been understanding the whole former Republic had been imperfect, where he needed to catch up presented flaws for creating an newest Republic avoiding collapsing risks --- in same manner the Jedi Order must avoid restricted rules that could create further Sith in consequences, as an repercussion of disequilibrium … not easier task nevertheless only manner to create an peaceful world.  

Silent understanding on touching right was flattered with a pleasant smile. Where more fragments of information generated a half-surprise. Anakin Skywalker had been by definition the representation of that reckless and impulsive term, where his sister giving him all honour regardless how she rightfully didn’t wanted be reminder of him!  ❝ I thought it was Anakin specialist on that reckless domain. Quite something Obi-Wan still remember decades after. ❞ Use of former name Ben used for … most likely escaped his lips. There was an attached compassionate comprehension towards exposed choice. There had been an attached understanding about how emotionally difficult circumstances had been. Nevertheless, in middle of a past talking, over a spirited presence who had remained at his side long enough for support him, it seemed more accurate to use his real name --- tone Anakin knew. In front of her words, his curiosity increased, showing it only within his expression. ❝ I didn’t know my mother had that side on her personality. ❞ He was happy to knowing her be good concerning the Senate. Leia, with her upbringing and education, followed easily her lead. Regardless how competent he might be, if he was interested, on ruling, he preferred staying that obscure leader in middle in the shadows, taking care of everyone and everything doing fine inside best of his abilities without be acknowledged as an strange king… ❝ I hope Leia will honour her memory, the galaxy is pretty sure to be protected with her around, don’t you think ? I will just be tiny help in the shadows, offering her tiny support for exploring all her abilities to doing well to the galaxy. ❞ He mused amusingly. ❝ I would love to find remnants of history concerning Padme during her time at the Senate, though, data must have been cleaned since a long time… Did you assisted to her occupations on the Senate? ❞ Her compassionate gesture concerning his sensations generated a smile who didn’t mind. ❝ I can catch up remnants time to time … however these sensations had to be decrypted and understood correctly … memories lost across space … but only get smaller glimpses of an puzzle to be assembled … ❞

[jerrardsjournal]

AN OPEN LETTER TO BLACK WOMEN.

i wanna open my letter to y’all by saying I love y’all. My life is dedicated to finding me a beautiful black woman and loving her in ALL WAYS always. i am a flawed man that has definitely disappointed a few women along this journey of understanding what truly matters in regards to love. BUT IM STILL HERE. finding new layers to love and to myself all with one goal: to find me a black woman who i can give my all too.

a quick search will show you that historically speaking black men go for other races way more than black women. On the flip side, y’all stayed looking for love from a black man and that type’a loyalty should be rewarded from us. And i’m deeply sorry that we’ve let a lot of y’all down.

I hope that whoever reads this knows that, while we (black men) DEFINITELY need to improve, it’s not all without reason. It’s widely documented that as a black man we’re at the bottom of the hierarchy and that position comes with its own unique set of plights. i’ll use the most overused example: money.

For a black man finding a career that leads to success is like finding a needle in a haystack. From family dynamics, environment, and a lack of proper educational resources, black men are at a disadvantage when it comes to finding a career.

And as it becomes more difficult to live comfortably in america without high skill level jobs (one’s that we don’t get because america has deemed us incapable) black men are pushed further behind. Our value as a black man in America is deemed by how much more money can we make the establishment than other black men. Imo, that’s the only way to get these top tier jobs. Whereas other races just show up as themselves because america has accepted them. that’s how they keep blacks in the rat race.

Shit goes even deeper when you think about how society puts so much emphasis on money determining the value of a man only to offer black people less for simply being black. i’ve seen the stories of black people applying for jobs and getting offered less compensation than their peers with similar credentials.

a lot of discourse online right now is in response to Tyler Perry and his stance on relationships. I do believe he’s right when he suggests realigning your priorities to find love. i simply wish he wouldn’t have solely directed his comments toward BW and accepting less when they deserve MORE.

His example of a man only being able to pay the light bill and for BW to be okay with that is irresponsible. It’s based in hyperbole and doesn’t truly address the nuance of dating and finding love as a whole.

now i’m sure there are situations where, depending on relationship dynamics, a BM might only have enough for one bill because of other financial obligations and hardships. Whether we’d like to admit it or not, not all of us are destined for 6 figure lifestyles. & not all of us are going to be able to overcome the handicaps that come with being black.

If a man finds a woman to accept him and his circumstances then HE HAS to pour into her in other ways. He has to remove himself from the idea that money/sex is the only thing that determines his value. because i guarantee you that only being able to pay one bill will make him insufferable. He’s going to look past all the other ways he could bring value simply because he’s not able to provide in the way he wants. Then he’s going to take it out on his partner because his ego is bruised which causes him to be spiteful. AND…in all of that STILL expect the BW to be there to make him feel better. THATS WRONG!

we need to be teaching our BM how to overcome these obstacles built to tear down black people as a whole. Financial literacy, proper support of our BW, changing societal influences, etc. Its not the responsibility of BW to accept less. It’s our responsibility to do more.

i think people as a whole need to remove the importance money/success plays into their lives. Stop using what white people have historically done and trying to mimic that for your own lives. They operate within a set of rules that we’ve never been afforded. And even with the rules in their favor not all white people get to see the generational wealth we all so desperately want.

Harsh truths are helpful towards progress. so i think it’s important to say that some of us aren’t going to acquire crazy success to live an above average life by financial metrics. Most BM are going to need the help of a BW to build a lifestyle that suits their needs and desires.

if you don’t want to accept that then i see one of two outcomes: you being alone until you get where you want be in life cause you don’t wanna waste time/hurt someone. or you hurting someone cause you can’t handle being alone while also devaluing your worth because you don’t have money to back it up.

with all that i leave off with two things:

BM - it’s time for us to start correcting each other properly. It’s time to spread the message that it’s on us to do more. and that doesn’t have to always mean money. work on your character, your mindset to relationship commitment, your ability to love your BW fully on a consistent basis and what that truly means.

BW - my questions to you all are: when can we discuss the adverse effects of y’all loving black men so much that y’all treat us as a monolith when we all aren’t the same? When will black men get grace for being brought up in a society that historically disenfranchised them? being brought up in a society that doesn’t promote the highest levels of love and companionship but instead promotes surface level intimacy disguised as love. all the while stripping black people of a family unit to protect us from that influence. yes, we have hurt so many of y’all countless times. but grace isn’t y’all sticking around because you love us. grace isn’t attributing mistakes to a black man’s character in perpetuity. For example if a man lies, that doesn’t make him a liar FOREVER;he just lied in his past. but a man that murders is a murderer FOREVER because that’s too extreme to shed off. however, i feel like there’s no difference between the two with y’all.

PS: i hope one day we can all see that america destroyed the black family and left black people to fight amongst ourselves over who’s to blame for that. and who’s to blame for us hurting each other from the pain of living our reality for the past 400+ years.

[qqueenofhades]

Hey, i just wanna say thank you for your political posts because this is the first time in literal years that i've felt any sort of understanding of the american political system and why shit is as bad as it is. Honestly I've even come out of reading a lot of then with optimism as weird as that may sound, because it seems like things CAN be made better and thats something i really needed to know.

So yeah uh, thanks. I guess.

Aha, you're welcome. I do try. There is so much toxic and illiterate political misinformation out there, from both right and left, that I am not always sure how much good it does, but at least I'm saying it, so, yeah. Ever since I started posting more regularly about politics, my block list has grown exponentially and looking at my notes is often an.... interesting.... experience, but there you have it.

The last six years have been unprecedented in American history, and even if we've grown more or less numb to the constant cavalcade of disasters, we shouldn't normalize them. Nor should we think that everything is totally fucked and beyond any kind of fixing. That sort of "nothing matters so just either give up or put all your hopes in a fantasy revolution to fix everything!" thinking is never going to do any good for anyone, and it's not even reflective of what's really going on. It's hard to tell among all the GOP screaming and extremism and threats, but 2022 is (at least thus far) representing the first sustained move away from Trumpism that we've seen since Trump first got elected. Things are getting better, and if there's a good result for Democrats in November, they have a chance to continue doing so. Even the professional liberal handwringers and concern trolls extraordinaire at MSNBC just ran this graphic:

Yes, the Republicans are so dangerous that they can't be allowed to get anywhere near power again, and I worry that too much of the country doesn't see that (and will be helped out by Democratic voter apathy, but we did just have that barn-busting result in deep red Kansas, so... yeah, I think Team Blue is paying attention). Yes, the Supreme Court will kill us all if it doesn't get fixed, and soon. But people who are acting like "oh it doesn't matter that the FBI raided Mar-a-Lago, nothing is going to happen" like... what? The reason the Republicans are screaming about how it has never happened before is because it has never happened before. Because while we have had shitty terrible crime-adjacent ex-presidents before, none of them have been as bad as Trump. We don't know what yet, but this means something. I have been as skeptical of Garland as anybody, and I'm still waiting to see what comes when the J6 committee finishes its hearings. But this increases the public pressure for accountability, and the FBI followed up the raid by seizing cellphones belonging to Trumpy members of Congress (including coup-supporting GOP PA Rep. Scott Perry). The recovered documents are reportedly so sensitive that the FBI had no choice but to send in the gang to execute a search warrant, signed by a Trump-appointed federal judge and a Trump-appointed FBI director. Welp.

Anyway, the point is: boy, do I also struggle with the "things are terrible and there's nothing to be done" mindset. But it isn't true, the people who are telling you that have a vested interest in your disempowerment, and for all its flaws and failings, there's absolutely no reason we have to abandon our venerable old democracy to the absolute worst of what America has to offer. People voted en masse in Kansas and defeated Republican extremism -- IN KANSAS! There are some great progressive Democrats running for Senate, and getting just a few more will rid us of having to kowtow to God Emperor Joe Manchin and Grand Vizier Kyrsten Sinema every single time we want a bill passed. And we got that whole above list of accomplishments done in the worst possible political circumstances, so, uh. Maybe the Democrats actually do know what they're doing, just a little. (Also, I will personally pay ten dollars to anyone who can actually, thoroughly, and satisfactorily explain to me how the Democrats "are really a right wing party!!!" Just saying).

So yes. Things can get better. Things ARE getting better. Things can continue to get better if we continue to act in a way that makes that possible. Etc etc my favorite quote about how to engage with a flawed and frustrating reality: "you are not obliged to complete the work, but nor are you free to abandon it." Because. Indeed.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

So do you guys remember my post about Jedi meeting their birth families and being chill with it? 

I’ve been thinking a bit - a lot, for like a year - about all the headcanons around Jedi’s biological people, and there are really only two possible cases that seem to get explored: the pure of heart, flawed but loving, desperate parents who ‘had’ to give up their precious child to the Jedi and didn’t feel they had a choice (most commonly seen from the more Jedi critical parts of the fandom, but not always), and the horribly abusive no good parents at all who gladly dumped their baby onto the Order (which appears to be the way of some Jedi fans to ‘justify’ the adoption into the Order as legitimate, which really shouldn’t be the point because adoptions are just as legitimate without abuse factoring in).

What’s kinda sad is how little we’re willing to explore all the possibilities, maybe because we don’t want to be perceived as on the wrong side of the fandom by our own pals. We all deal with just so much bad faith discourse that we smooth out any sort of human drama and nuance to try and have clear cut narratives that are so black and white that they must prevent bad faith interpretations. Jedi have to be perfect pure angels that have never done anything wrong to be recognized as good, because we’re afraid that if we write them in an interesting way people will jump on the opportunity to accuse them of all sorts of stuff.

Well, I’m tired of vanilla fics and good guys vs bad guys when dealing with purely human everyday stuff. Bad guys are for the galactic battles, the epic clash of eternal forces. When dealing with how Jedi younglings come to the Order, we can have plenty of amazing, heart-wrenching drama and warm, happy moments where all sorts of good and regular people have different goals and meet and clash without anyone being at ‘fault’ or being to blame for it. I want to see (*sigh* to write) complex, difficult situations that can’t be perfectly resolved but where people do try and everyone feels like a *person*.

With that out of the way, what about:

- the unanimously proud communities, so honored that their daughter will represent their people and traditions among the Order, wear their clothing and bear their name

- the desperate mother with proud relatives, who doesn’t want to give away her child, but feels pressured into it by well-meaning relatives. The Master feels her reluctance and tries to reassure her, but she insists that it’s fine - and it is, she wants it to be, she wants to believe it’s for the best but it’s just so hard...

- Stass Allie’s parents, who saw their niece Adi GAllia go to the Order a few years prior. Their two families are influential on Coruscant, but with Adi already in the Order, do they need to send Stass too? Will people think they’re making a grab for power? Will Stass be better off over there, with her cousin? 

- Tiplar and Tiplee’s parents. How many children do they have, besides their twins? Is it easier to let your children go when you know they will be together? Did they make the Master promise they wouldn’t be separated no matter what? Did they dress them in matching outfits, or were the Jedi the ones to come up with that?

- the teenaged single mom who cries tears of relief when she realizes her baby will have a good life

- the single dad who can’t bring himself to let his daughter go, because she’s his whole world. The Master presses, not fully understanding, because she would would give up everything for the good of her Padawan, including her relationship with him if need be. The dad still says no.

- the struggling addict parent who is glad to dump that kid (but who still wakes up at night crying, cursing the Jedi, cursing themselves - who get their life back on track for their next kid, maybe? Who meets more Jedi and is thankful after all, or who never does and stays bitter, but better...)

- the family using the adoption for clout, and the consequences for the Order PR-wise, with the younger Jedi having to let go of the bitterness and the anger

- the communities with their own customs surrounding the Force that the young Knight or the wise Master’s inexperienced Padawan struggle to grasp and accept

- the happy parents who are mildly Force-sensitive themselves but didn’t know (or did know, and expected some of their children to be sensitive too), with the Master or the Knight pondering what their own life would look like as a civilian, maybe a parent themselves, maybe giving their own child to the Order like those are doing now. Would they do it? If they could met that hypothetical version of themselves, what would they say about the life they have? 

- the superstitious, incredulous or religious parents who are just glad to get a real explanation for the floating rocks, instead of all the theories and the judging and the gossip

- the ones who are desperately poor, and so very grateful, and the younger Jedi struggling with this, wondering if that’s why they were given to the Order as well. Struggling not to judge, because they wouldn’t be happy to give up their own younglings no matter what, right? Learning to be grateful, and understanding, and compassionate. 

- the parents who decide to give their child away against the community’s pressure, finding comfort in the Jedi’s genuine desire to support them

- the siblings struggling not to feel betrayed by their parents’ choice - and the jealous ones, the proud ones, the amazed ones, the ones who were just toddlers and spend their life holding onto faded memories

And on the flipside to all of that, what about:

- the Jedi who find a baby among dead bodies, like Mace and Depa, and are so thankful they could save this one tiny light

- the Knights filled to burst with warmth and pride as the three of them get this little toddler to giggle on the way home

- the baby who has been screaming in the Force for weeks, wanting to go home, and who finally gets to feel a presence caressing his mind gently, telling him someone is coming

- the Masters who hold the little ones at night, when those who miss their old home feel lonely or sad, rocking them and singing to them

- the Jedi who have their niece, nephew, cousin, or sibling arrive in the Creche, who call their birth family to reassure them that it’ll all be okay, and yes, ‘the child will know who I am, don’t worry, we keep our names. I’ll help them along the way, I’ll keep an eye on them.’

- the Knight who shows up somewhere and experience a supersonic boom because that’s the one, this little one will be his Padawan, he knows it

- the Knight awkwardly trying to comfort the parents, but she can see that they can see that the baby has already latched onto her, and she senses their turmoil

- the Master feeling that the child won’t be suited for the life of a Jedi, and saying that, even as it’s so hard to turn away from those sparkling baby eyes and that little mental tug 

- the Padawan balancing babbling triplets on his shoulders, because they’re from a species that makes a lot of babies

- the Master-Padawan pair visiting a child a lot during the transition period, and bonding with the other siblings as well

... Just... a mess of relationships and love on all parts, with understandings being reached, people finding peace and joy, and the opposite of all that, all acknowledging that there are no bad guys here, just complicated circumstances.