#JUST LIKE I KNEW YOU WOULD

[wonusite]

YESSSSSSS👏🏻 ALL RIGHTY stay with me here cause this one is gonna be long (im sorry) (im…… not) (edit: i checked and this was 853 words. i take it back. i actually am sorry😭)

in my mind, it all starts Very Unserious, with him going off on a sex tangent one lazy afternoon and he ends up talking about putting it in your butt. without skipping a beat, you tell him ‘hey, i’ll let you if you let me’, expecting him to cringe and say never mind — and at first he thinks you’re kidding, because you’re still watching the video on your phone and lifting a handful of chips to your mouth, but he tests the waters and says ‘all right, bet.’ even goes as far as to make you pinky-swear you’re happy with this, because now he’s got it in his head………….. yeeeeah, he kinda definitely wants to try it.

but even after the conversation and after you end up shopping for toys online together to find something he’s comfortable with, you’re still convinced he’s gonna back out. which is fine!!! but you can’t deny that the idea of it has been living rent free in your mind, too. regardless, you try to stay on the fence until it actually happens — right up until you’ve got him laid out on your bed with a pillow under his hips and you’re stretching him out to be able to take the toy, and he is babbling. in terms of sanity? he has no sanity. it’s gone. he’s gone. you’ve only given him two of your fingers so far and he’s having to grip his cock with one hand just to relieve a tiny bit of the agony from from how hard he is. the other is about .2 seconds away from ripping the pillowcase with how he’s got it balled up in his fist. gone, gone, gone.

‘you— you promised’ he pants as you graze over his sweet spot and his hips jerk up into nothing. his cock is dribbling precum, he’s more flushed than you’ve ever seen him, his eyes are so tightly shut he’s seeing colours not even on the human visibility spectrum. ‘you said you’d fuck— fuck… fuck me good— you’re not gonna let me down, right babe?’ he can barely get his words out, and on one hand it’s cute, but on the other… ugh. vernon and his smart fucking mouth.

cause, obviously he thinks he’s ready to take the strap, and who are you to deny him, right? you decided not go for anything too big for the first time, just to air on the side of caution, so you think if you take it slow, sure, he’ll be okay. you lube it up, readjusting his pillow so you can get into position and lightly press against his hole. and just the feeling of the head of it against him is enough to make his cock twitch, the intrusion so delicious his mouth is already watering. you slowly push your hips towards him, watching his face to gauge your speed (just like he does with you<3), easing in and out for the first minute or so to let him adjust.

and when you start fucking into him for real, he abandons holding his cock altogether. he clings to you, instead, holding your forearms first, then your biceps, then pulling you down so he can wrap his arms all the way around you. as you move, the combination of you pressing into his sweet spot over and over and occasionally brushing against his length makes him suddenly understand why you sometimes bite his neck and shoulders when you’re together like this, cause the urge to do it to you is STRONG and… like, of course he gives into it. he can’t stop, actually. even when he comes without you deliberately touching his cock and he makes a mess of both of your stomachs (it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen). especially when you keep fucking him until he goes cross-eyed and has to whimper that it’s too much. he only stops when you slowly pull out and away, watching him quiver as you start to wipe you both clean with some tissues, before totally indulging him with all the love and affection, ever. you’ll wash his hair for him in the shower, too, because he’s gone completely fucking boneless. he’s earned it. he was such a good boy <3

and in the morning, even though he’s fucking sore and so, so achy, he’ll still wake you up with little pecks to your neck where he left all those love bites. he’ll still kiss his way down your body as you slowly wake up, until he’s beneath the comforter between your thighs, mumbling about how he didn’t get to make you feel good, and he really really wants to. he’ll still eat you out for breakfast, and then again for lunch, and then again for dinner. just so you know how much he loves you for how good you were to him last night!!!

(he’s not really even that bothered about getting to do it back. it’s a little selfish, honestly, because the only thing he does care about is making sure that isn’t gonna be be the last time you fuck him<3)

idk nalani. i think i have very healthy and normal feelings about it, as im sure you can tell. i’m perfectly fine. and good. and uh. normal 🫠 - 🧸 x

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

It's just guys night talk! Don't worry about it!

(Read Tiger Tiger and shake this man awake so he can finish that thought!)

[ronanlynchbf]

tshirt that says NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY

[huachengsromcom]

People call Heaven Official’s Blessing / TGCF a slow burn but Hua Cheng is literally courting Xie Lian like they are DATING. Slow burn who??? They’re sleeping next to each other on straw mats and Xie Lian’s offering to cook him dinner and they’re bantering across THE HOME THEY SHARE like a bunch of desperate hussys

San Lang LEAVES XL WITH A KEEPSAKE OF THEIR TIME TOGETHER SLOW BURN WHOMST

They have A DATE in HC’s armoury where they HOLD HANDS and XL pets San Lang’s quivering sword I-

Hua Cheng basically throws himself at this man he’s like you want a sword?? All of them ?? You want ALL THE SWORDS?? Fuck it take the whole room THE WHOLE ROOM JUST COME VISIT I WILL CLEAN THEM FOR YOU

Like he isn’t the king of a whole realm with shit to do

And this is just the first half of the first book—again I ask the world SLOW BURN WHOMST

[demaparbat-hp]

Smooch

[aunmenosheteroenespanol]

2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

Tommy's family arc

[gigamuffinsofie]

the ghostbusters

[hychlorions]

a what-if i've been thinking about for forever... trucy knowing the truth before anyone could tell her

[chickenchirps27]

hello denizens of tumblr i come with humble offerings

they wish to romance you

[wonusite]

fine u got me. i’m going to join the party.

SEUNGKWAN

seungkwan just being so into filling you up endlessly. but he can’t just do it once. never. he’ll fill you up over and over until the sight makes him dizzy. the cockiness from seeing u ooze his seed drives him crazy and he’d make u do all sorts of things. ur so messy he can’t take his eyes off u even if he wanted to.

“panties back on baby” he’d say pulling them up for u and you’d be so????? like u are a MESS there’s no way his cum would stay inside u. but u do what he says.

and then he’s taking u the supermarket, and ur squirming in the aisles and he’s smirking bc is that his cum he sees on ur thighs? and he’s whispering filth in ur ear as he discreetly pushes his hand up ur skirt to feel. and ur RUINED. wipes his fingers off on ur tongue while telling u how much he loves it when ur covered in him.

“my dirty slut, u like that? yeah? fuck look at ur slick thighs and dripping panties. everyone can see ur cunt leaking my cum”

…… nalani u broke me.

- 🍊

um you’re the one who just broke me tf 😫

bc what can i even add to this masterpiece aside from the fact that he would even take videos to watch later 🥵

[steampoweredwerehog]

“I wanna make art, but idk what people want to see from me—“ *GRABS YOU*

Do whatever you want. You have an idea? You plagued by visions? You got a special interest? You got daydreams about a oneshot you wanna write? Do it. “But how will I know what gets attention?” YOU WONT. THAT’S THE DEVIL TALKING. Say ‘fuck it’ and make whatever. I make art cuz ideas fill my brain & if I don’t see ‘em with my eyes I’ll DIE.

Make stuff cuz YOU wanna see it. If other people’s eyes see it that’s cool too.

[starry-bi-sky]

my martha knight au in a nutshell:

Danny/Martha: see up here?

Danny/Martha: *taps skull*

Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage

-----------

Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*

Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--

Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--

Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--

Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--

-------------

Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself

Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)

---------------

Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid

---------------

Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--

Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!

Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?

Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)

---------------

Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.

Danny/Martha: do you understand me

Falcone:... crystal, ma'am

---------------

Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*

Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*

Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--

(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)

---------------

Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.

Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.

Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]

[lazylittledragon]

ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

[elsecrytt]

Satoru Gojo goes to the same cafe every day for his coffee-flavored confectionary beverage. You are the barista tasked with pumping his drink with the unreasonable assortment of syrup squeezes.

You don't blink at it. You've been in customer service forever. Everything is second nature to you. But you give him a look when you hand him a drink and he just starts going.

He likes to make small chat, you learn. About meaningless things - desserts, drinks, the weather - but he makes you laugh, and he laughs at your jokes, too. He's smiling every time you talk.

He's beautiful - in that way that makes you uncertain if he's really there - and friendly, and he seems a bit lonely, eager to converse.

Something tells you Satoru probably doesn't have a lot of close friends. He's rich, too, judging by the massive tips he leaves you.

The thing is, you do a lot of things on autopilot. It's just the way these things get after a while. Pouring drinks, "What would you like today?", "I'll have that out for you soon!", "Have a nice day!", all that stuff.

Sometimes, though. Sometimes. Wires get crossed.

He's picked up his drink to leave, giving you a cheeky smile and a little wave, and you tell him, without thinking twice:

"Love you, bye!"

Oh. Oh fucking hell -

"Love you too!"

[leucoratia]

My favourite loser scientist (we are legally married)

Handplates!Gaster by @zarla-s (thank you so much for this AU it has given me life for the past 6 years)