#Jake Ape escape

[julie-su]

The Small Print

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[kichimiangra]

Prior to my life falling apart with the loss of Vinny and Rufus @readasaur had been sharing with me his "Ape Escape Pirate AU (Variant)" which is an variant AU of his "Pirate AU" which is an AU of my "Nannersverse AU" I think(?). So an AU of and AU of an AU of an AU of an AU

But I'm a whore for Pirate AUs. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The gist of it is "What if the cast where pirates but also 'girls gone wild' spring break edition horn dogs as Specter, the Duke of an empire is 'Kidnapped' by the pirate crew (not checking for stowaways) after a raid of an empire ship as he now gets to live out his kidnap/enslaved-by-pirates-sexual-fantasy until the plot catches up with him and the crew.

I wrote and story boarded this in a day between installments so it's sorta like writing a fic between episode releases Where info hadn't been revealed yet.

Below the cut is the AU text up until the point I storyboarded for context. If @readasaur makes it and rest available via one of his accounts I'll Link this to his instead.

I would have just answered these from my inbox but in my brain not working I deleted the asks while archiving them like a dipshit.

Be warned:

There is NSFW in parts.

1.

Pirate AU (Variant)

(Just to warn you, spoiled nobleman Specter does not have as much of an advantage as you would think; Captain Natalie isn't putting up with his nonsense. And as privateers, the protagonists are not as benevolent as usual)

The sounds of chaos were putting Spike in a chipper mood. The Twins were wreaking merry havoc, Jimmy was throwing cannon balls to marvelous effect, Captain Natalie was laughing like a mad woman, and even First Nate Jake was at serious risk of cracking a smile. And they were fighting apes! Apes in little sailor outfits! Spike had known that the best and worst things happened at sea, but this! He couldn't help but whistle a chipper tune as he knocked out a gibbon guarding a very interesting door. The lock was formidable, so he took his usual tactic of simply hacking his way through the wall, making good time as someone within screamed in mortal terror. When he'd created enough of an opening, he forced his way through the broken wall and saw a lovely room with the prettiest ape man he'd ever seen in his life cowering on the bed.

"Who... I mean, how dare you! I am Duke Specter, heir to the Empire of Hands! Throw down your weapon at once and you will merely be executed for this outrage!" The pretty ape man said, rallying himself admirably.

Spike gave a mocking bow with a flourish.

"Begging your pardon for the intrusion, your lordship! I've just come to relieve you of your valuables and then I'll be out of your silky white hair!" Spike caught the hand that was pointed at him and kissed it gallantly. The duke looked flustered, snatching his hand back as Spike strolled to the book shelf nearby and began taking anything that caught his eye and tossing it into his loot sack. He didn’t pause when he heard the telltale 'click' behind him, he immediately moved down and to his left in a spin as the pistol bullet hit directly where his head had been, scattering the pages of what had been a lovely manuscript. The Duke's eye widened as he saw Spike coming back at him, and his other hand was raising a letter opener when Spike tackled him to the bed. He was surprisingly strong for such a dandy, though still no match for Spike, who soon had him bound up in spare rope with his hands tied to his legs. He began shouting at Spike in a language he didn't recognize and Spike gave him a condescending pat on the head before resuming his looting. He'd finally switched back to English by the time Spike's plunder bag was about full and he'd turned back to the trussed up noble.

"-Your ancestors will feel your pain from whatever miserable afterlife they scuttled into! From the marrow of you bones to the tips of your hair, your body will be an epitaph of agony! You will rue the day you first beheld the sea! I will- wait, what are you doing??" His tone went from ferocious to fearful in moments as Spike's calloused hand closed in on his rump, pushed out as it was by the way he was tied.

2.

Pirate AU (Variant)

Spike's sea worn hand closed around that soft, goat like nub of a tail.

"Begging your pardon, your lordship, but I have never had the opportunity to hold the tail of royalty. No way to know when such a chance will pass my way again, can't risk missing out. My, this is a fiesty little thing! Feel it wiggle like a fish on a hook! A fitting tail for such a firey fellow such as yourself!" Spike teased him, intending to embarrass the little upstart. He wasn't expecting the gasp that escaped the ape's mouth, or the way he pushed back against Spike's grip. The human tilted his head curiously, and gave an experimental tug on the tail, earning another gasp. A third tug with more intent now, getting the duke's spoiled rump up to get smacked firmly by Spike's other hand. That was certainly not a cry of pain.

The privateer coughed, feeling as though his plan had backfired.

"Ah. Well. Begging your pardon again, your lordship, I'll be off now." Spike said quickly, heading to unlock the door.

"You're leaving? YOU'RE LEAVING?? YOU GET BACK HERE AND FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED, YOU CAD!!" The duke shouted at him from the bed. Spike didn't turn around, he tugged his hat down to hide his blushing face and hastily left through the now unlocked door, the duke's outrage following him down the hall.

He put it out of his mind as he emerged on deck, holding his bag aloft to the cheers of his shipmates. No one was headed back empty-handed, and Blood Haired Jimmy held an entire treasure chest by himself. They crossed the plank back to their own ship and left the apes to try and collect themselves after being so thoroughly thrashed by the Independent Privateers. There were more cheers and rum was being poured even before the last foot had hit the deck on the good ship Laborious Endeavors. It was a good day all around, and Spike could forget that strange noble in the finest company a sailor could ever want.

So he very nearly didn't recognize him when he found the ape lounging in his cabin after he'd finally stumbled to bed.

3.

Pirate AU (Variant)

Spike was a little drunk, so it took him a moment to catch up with the situation and comprehend that there actually was a nobleman ape in his bed wearing a fancy ruffled shirt, silk pants, and reading one of Spike's books.

"What?" Spike asked, in general response to what he was seeing. The duke closed the book and rolled over, splaying himself provocatively.

"Oh no, I've been captured. Woe is me." He said, fighting down a smile.

Comprehension was dawning horrifically on Spike, who smacked himself in the face.

"You can't be serious. We left your ship behind! We're privateers! This is not a pleasure cruise and you are not safe here!" Spike tried to inject some severity in his tone. From the way the duke's eye gleamed with interest, he was fairly sure that the problem wasn't himself.

"Oh? And what are you going to do with me?" The duke asked, his chest rising and falling with each excited breath.

Spike narrowed his eyes at him.

"UNHAND ME! THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND!" The ape shouted as Spike held him by the scruff of his shirt like a yowling cat. He made his way back on deck. It seemed that only Blood Haired Jimmy had gone to bed and the rest of the crew were still about. Good. This beast-in-heat could be someone else's problem.

Captain Natalie was also slightly drunk.

"What?" She asked, tilting her head quizzically at Spike's squirming complication.

"Captain Natalie, this is Duke Specter, heir of the Empire of Hands,and I'll let him explain why he snuck on board." Spike declared wearily.

To his credit, the duke rallied and lied more easily than Spike expected. He stopped struggling and tried to compose himself as best he could under the circumstances.

"Good evening, Captain. I came here in the hopes of appealing to your good sense and reclaiming our treasure from you without the tedious need to hunt down your crew and execute you all. Surely you must realize that you cannot rob the Empire of Hands and escape? The bounties on your heads will be enormous! Return our property and surrender, and I will attempt to negotiate for some mercy." The duke lied smoothly.

Captain Natalie was unimpressed.

"And save yer own arse from the fire after losing it all to a crew of buccaneers, Aye suppose? Graciously refused, yer grace. Toss him overboard." She said, waving her hand dismissively.

The duke's expression told them that he had not even considered this possibility.

"Wait!! I am the heir of the Empire! Surely you can see I'm worth more alive than dead?!" He shouted, starting to struggle again.

"Yer Emperor has no more honor than Queen Victoria herself! He'd honor no deal, and pay no ransom. Simplest to disappear ye and be done with it." Captain Natalie said firmly. "Run him through with a knife first to ring the sharks' dinner bell before ye throw him."

The duke was at last taking the situation seriously as he struggled in Spike's grip, looking at him pleadingly.

Spike knew Natalie likely wasn't serious. She was negotiating and trying to get the duke to barter for his life with anything he might have left. But Spike knew that the duke had come here with nothing but his own body, and his claim of negotiating had been a lie. So he honestly didn't have anything to offer, which meant that Natalie would be bound to her own order to kill him if there was no good reason to belay it. Spike sighed.

"Wait, Captain."

4.

Pirate AU (Variant)

Captain Natalie raised an eyebrow at Spike. He knew how this worked. Contradicting her was not how it went.

"He's a twit, but that's not a capital offense. Let me mind him till we get to port. I'll truss him up and drop him off, and we'll be rid of him just as surely. He can even share my rations." Now Natalie was raising both eyebrows at him. He wished he could explain why he was protecting the little imp, but it wasn't the duke's dignity he was protecting. He did not want to admit he'd been playing with the spoiled creature and that had lead to this.

"...Bit late to save our souls with merciful kindness, Spike. But very well, he's yours." Captain Natalie said, trusting him enough to leave it at that. First Mate Jake didn't look so easily satisfied, but he kept quiet for now.

Spike returned to his bunk with the duke looking at him with a worryingly fascinated gleam in his eye. Spike tossed him on the bed and he lay on his stomach looking at Spike over his left shoulder.

"Don't get any ideas. I just didn't want to make the sharks sick with spoiled meat." Spike said, the duke looking not at all fooled. He considered making the duke sleep on the floor, but there was no point to that. With a frustrated growl, he lay down directly on the ape, earning an amorous wheeze him from him. "Stop. That."

"<3" Said the duke in response. Spike was already regretting this.

5.

NSFW

Pirate AU (Variant)

Spike knew what he had to do. He had to kick this fool out of his bed and make his stay on board miserable. He would reach port a disappointed but wiser ape.

He hugged the duke harder as he arched his back.

Okay, not kicking out the pretty ape with soft hair who is extremely willing to be taken. Fine. Just have to be extremely selfish in bed to give him a terrible time and show him what a bad idea this was.

The duke cried out as Spike coaxed him to climax for the third time, his hands on the ape's chest, nibbling the ape's ear, and their hips colliding.

Okay, his personal standards wouldn't let him be bad at wenching. Fine. Just had to be selfish AFTER the fact. Hog the blanket, make him sleep in his own mess, no cuddling.

Spike tenderly kissed the giggling ape as he cleaned him off with a warm wet rag, shifting him over to change the sheet and letting the duke nuzzle his chest when he was done as he held him securely.

Damn it. The duke was going to learn exactly the wrong lesson from all this. Spike resolved to be hard on him later. Ruthless. Make him regret ever stepping foot on board a ship.

He pet the duke's head as he fell asleep, very content.

Later. He'd clear the duke's obvious delusions later.

6.

Pirate AU (Variant)

Nobleman Specter fantasizing about dragging Spike to one of his homes as his personal bed warmer.

"Summer castle or winter castle? He'd make the winter months so much more pleasant, and he could carry me over those cold floors, but the summer castle has the better gardens and François is there and he could make Spike a decent wardrobe to match mine..."

Continues to daydream even as he's being yelled at for not hoisting Blood Haired Jimmy back up out of the water, as is his current job. Briefly takes a break to fantasize about putting Captain Natalie in an iron maiden because she keeps shouting at him for no good reason.

"Now, father would be less of a problem at the winter castle and I could spend all the time I want with Spike without him getting mad about-"

Abruptly realizes that taking a filthy human buccaneer as a serious consort would make his dad the angriest he's ever been in his entire life.

"...I wonder if I should marry Spike in the summer, or the winter? Winter suits me better and we could narrow the guest list, I suppose I'll have to let that horrible Captain Natalie out of the dungeon to attend, but a summer wedding would be so beautiful and it would really capture the proper mood and I would be able to see every detail of father's face in the bright summer light when I pledge my heart, soul and inheritance to Spike..."

7.

Pirate AU (Variant)

"Ah, the suffering I must endure." Duke Specter proclaimed as he swabbed the deck (badly, though he was actually improving) while wearing only a rag around his hips that barely concealed anything. The Twins watched him with great amusement, especially because he was trying to be provocative while he was mopping, which usually meant he either dropped the mop or hit himself in the head.

"...I'm sure he asked, but did you have to give him that to wear?" Spike asked as he approached the two siblings.

"We didn't give him that." Yumi told him.

"We had a pair of pants we'd tailored to his size." Kei said, holding up the pants as proof.

"He showed up wearing that." Yumi continued, as Specter slipped on a wet spot and crashed to the ground.

Spike hastily helped him up and he pretended to swoon.

"Bed time yet?" Specter asked hopefully.

"No, you insatiable satyr." Spike replied firmly, though he did stand directly behind the duke to show him how to swab properly, much to the ape's delight.

8.

Pirate AU (Variant)

Duke Specter approached Captain Natalie while she was carefully repairing a waterproof latern.

"No." She said immediately, not looking up.

"You don’t even know what I was going to say!"

"Ye were trying to smile, ye didn't start complaining before ye got within earshot, and yer palpable aura of aristocratic arrogance has been greatly diminished. Ye want something. Furthermore, ye want to barter because ye came here with only yer clothes and a couple o' books, so ye can't actually pay for anything despite bein' filthy rich. Aye don't accept credit or any "favors" ye could do me, ye depraved little imp, so the answer is 'no'. Now go away."

"...it's buried treasure."

"No such thing."

"Oh come on! You don't know that for sure!"

"No one buries money. They spend it. Anyone who thinks they have money hidden away is in fer a nasty shock when they go to retrieve it, because it's been stolen and spent by someone else."

"I will pay you more than your weight in gold! I have caskets of treasure I could give you for one small detour!"

"Aye respect ye too much to think that ye would pay me one copper coin when ye could have me locked up, me crew in jail, and Spike chained t' the foot of yer bed."

"Thank you. I might keep Jimmy too."

"He do be adorable."

"Look, I just want to go to Similacrum Island. Just for one day. I'll make it worth your while because that's honestly more convenient than getting you executed. You are all more convenient to me alive."

"No."

"...Please."

For the first time, Captain Natalie looked up and saw honest pleading in his eye.

"No. But!" She said, forestalling his outburst. "We are going near Similacrum. Aye suppose if ye want t' stretch yer legs an' Spike is willin' to walk ye around... Aye won't ditch ye first chance Aye get. Ye heathen demon."

"Thank you." It was also the first time he sounded genuinely grateful despite how many times she'd decided against keelhauling him.

It was something, at least.

9.

Pirate AU (Variant)

The duke made full use of his status as a polyglot to complain in multiple languages. First Mate Jake was unimpressed despite the duke's eloquent rant about the lack of proper hygienic standards on board the ship. Spike had hoped that the abundance of fresh water thanks to Captain Natalie's evaporation collectors would help mitigate this concern, but no such luck. Now Spike was reduced to sleepily approaching his errant bedmate as he began to pick up steam and Jake began to glance longingly at the ship's anchor. Before Jake could tie himself or the ape to the weight, Spike reached down and picked up the duke by his waist and lifted him all the way up to his face before firmly biting him on the ass.

"<3!!!!!!!!!!" Said the duke, flailing wildly before going limp. "...what was I saying?"

"Bed time." Spike said firmly, leaning towards Jak to kiss him on the cheek, which Jake accepted despite Spike just biting the duke on his spoiled behind.

The duke likewise accepted his fate and happily snuggled against Spike as he carried him to bed.

10.

Pirate AU (Variant)

It was disappointing that they were going to die so close to a port. The cargo bay was stocked with goods they were going to sell, the guns were dry of ammo, the hull was in need of repairs, they were all tired... all they needed was to resupply and rest somewhere safe, and yet that wouldn't be possible. It was a bit of a downer, and such was life.

The Constant Companion had their scent.

By unspoken agreement, Blood Haired Jimmy would row the duke to safety. The duke wasn't a part of the crew, he had no obligation to stay to the bitter end, and Jimmy was the youngest; he should have his chance to go on. It almost worked, they had convinced Jimmy he could take the duke to port in order to "go get help" and by the time he realized that they had tricked him, he would be safe and they would be beyond help.

The Constant Companion was heading towards them.

The duke was impatiently waiting in the rowboat, and Jimmy was climbing in when Yumi's resolve crumbled and she suddenly suggested that Kei go with them. That broke the dam, and suddenly everyone was volunteering to stay while everyone else got in the boat. Kei said Yumi should go. Spike said Jake should go. Jake said the duke and Jimmy would die within hours if Spike didn't go. Helga said Captain Natalie should go, and Captain Natalie loudly declared that she would never abandon her crew, ship be damned. No one noticed the way that duke flinched when he heard that from her. By this point, even the naive Blood Haired Jimmy knew something was wrong, and got out of rowboat to demand answers.

The duke looked at the crew, all trying to save each other at the expense of themselves, and then looked at the Constant Companion, within sight and getting closer.

The argument was interrupted when the rowboat was lowered from the boat into the water and the duke took off by himself.

"...well, that solves that." Helga said, diplomatically. Spike felt a bit sad to see the duke take off without even saying goodbye, though he was glad that at least one of them would get away.

"Wait, why is he headed towards it?" Blood Haired Jimmy asked the question that they were all wondering as the duke rowed not towards the port, but towards the towering zee beast that was hunting them. Spike was already at the helm frantically turning the ship to try and save him.

"Damned duke!! He would inconvenience us to the last!" Captain Natalie swore as she searched her pockets for anything to load in the cannon.

11.

Pirate AU (Variant)

"Oh, you're so stupid! That's not how life works! Things aren't like how you read them in your silly books! You're going to get yourself killed, thinking like that!" The duke said to himself in a mocking tone as he rowed the small boat, then scoffed. "And then those wizened scholars of pragmatic realism stand around arguing about who gets to be the noble martyr and go down with the bloody ship. Honestly."

The zee beast loomed above him, even at this range. The ship was headed towards him as well, the water carrying the urgent voices of the crew. They treated him like an annoyance and a burden.

And there had never been any question that he would be safely evacuated while they grimly faced certain doom.

Spike had even gotten his books to take with him.

He'd even added his own two favorites from his own meager collection.

Honestly...

Was this how flings at sea were supposed to go?

He glared up at the Constant Companion, its hungry, chittering brood on its back. It was unfair to take out his frustration on a dumb zee beast. He'd never been very fair. The duke moved his bangs away from where they covered his right eye.

He said a Word that had felt like molten lead pouring into his ear when he heard it. It felt like an explosion of gunpowder as he spoke it. The Constant Companion paused, now aware of the danger and too close to escape it. The duke's uncovered eye responded to the Word.

There was light.

Then ten pairs of spidery legs fell into the water, the body of the Constant Companion and its young now no longer there to keep said legs upright.

The duke collapsed into the rowboat, his last conscious thought being that of relief. That Word was gone from his mind. Only a pleasant coldness filled the space where its memory had been.

12.

Pirate AU (Variant)

Duke Specter drifted awake while nuzzling Spike's chest, a ritual he was quickly growing accustomed to. His smile faded when he saw he was in the middle of a gathering and everyone was looking at him with serious expressions.

'Confess to nothing. They can't prove that you stole and ate the raisins.' He thought to himself.

"Yes?" He asked innocently.

Captain Natalie pointed out at the water. He looked where she was pointing and did not see anything worthy of comment.

"There’s nothing there."

"Correct. There WAS a Constant Companion hunting us. Then you vaporized it. Explain."

"Surely you aren't objecting? It was going to eat us. Well, chew us up and feed us to its brood, if you want to get technical."

Helga and First Mate Jake restrained Captain Natalie as she reached for Specter's throat.

"She's asking how you did that, and wants to know why you didn't try that when she threatened to feed you to the sharks." Spike clarified.

"Oh. I used magic, obviously and that wouldn't really help me if I obliterate the ship I'm on. I'm a duke. I negotiate when I get can negotiate and obliterate when I have to obliterate." The nobleman ape said airily. He didn’t mention that he couldn't do that again until he relearned the Word he had used. Or that using so much power rendered him insensible for a short period of time, though they had probably figured that part out. If they thought that he had an ultimate weapon he was simply choosing not to use, so much the better. His attempt at bluffing was interrupted when Blood Haired Jimmy approached him and embraced him and Spike both.

"Thank you, duke. You saved us." Blood Haired Jimmy said warmly.

The duke did not know how to react to this.

Or when the others approached and either joined the hug or reached for him to stroke his silken fur, murmuring their own thanks.

The duke was tightly surrounded by humans who were expressing real gratitude to him and all he could do was freeze in place as his eye flicked around frantically, soaking in their attention without knowing the proper protocol to respond. Group hugs were not covered in his education. Gradually, they released him and stepped away, and Spike set him down. He kept one hand on Spike's hip to steady himself, overwhelmed by what he had just felt.

Captain Natalie did not approach him, she instead met his eyes and nodded once, and he understood. He'd risen from the status of "pest to be protected" to "guest to be respected".

When he had learned that Word, he had never expected to use it protecting a group of humans. As he looked up at Spike smiling down at him, he couldn’t imagine a better outcome than this.

13.

Pirate AU (Variant)

The crew tolerated the duke with wry amusement. He was treating them and their lives like props to live out some bodice-ripper fantasy, and it was a bit annoying at times. For the most part, he stuck by Spike and tried to lure him off for another romp, so he wasn't underfoot all the time even if he was distracting one of the most dependable hands on board the ship. Then again, that was part of the reason they put up with him as much as they did: Spike was always so dutiful in his responsibilities, it was nice to see him just indulging himself and sneaking off to giggle and fumble with the silly aristocratic ape. So the crew got used to duke Specter and his sporadic attempts at doing chores when he was sufficiently bored, and his habit of complaining to fill the silence, and his habit of joining in a group song with a skilled tenor voice, and his mysterious, seemingly random knowledge that he would volunteer out of nowhere.

"If you call the Blue Prophets by the names they're saying, it frightens them for a moment. Don't ask them questions, they're used to that. Don't try to deny the truth of their words, you'll never convince the they're wrong. But if you make them think they misunderstood, you can get just a second of them being worried." The duke said, seemingly unconcerned about the bright blue parrots that were determined to devour the ship with beak and talon while crying out the names of the doomed. Kei shrugged and called out "Hey, Florence!" before he shot it, and it did indeed pause long enough for him to get a bead on it. Soon, the ship's crew echoed back the names as the tide turned against the Blue Prophets and eventually they were tidying up the unnaturally heavy bodies of the birds while the duke grudgingly helped sweep up the brilliant blue feathers that littered the deck. He never explained how he knew that. They just assumed that it was part of his education; after all, the Empire of Hands had zeppelins, didn't they? Of course he would know how to handle an aerial threat.

The abandoned island of Similacrum was getting nearer by the day.

14.

Pirate AU (Variant)

Spike offered the duke some wine, and was waved off. They assumed that it simply didn't meet his high standards. When a lucky find caught them some vintage Hallow wine, he still refused.

"Oh come on, that's as good as it gets!" Yumi said, her face flushed from just a glass.

"I know. I drank too much at one time, and now the smell makes me ill." The duke explained, which also told Spike why he shied away when Spike drank too much.

"Why'd you drink so much?" Blood Haired Jimmy asked, perceptive enough to notice the oddness and foolish enough not to notice the brittle tone.

"...We went on a journey. I didn't want to go." The duke said, his eyes looking far away.

Captain Natalie scoffed, and poured herself a glass.

"What, not enough boys for ye to ogle? Not enough mirrors t' admire yer self? Library no' as big as th' bleeding sky?" She jeered.

"Something like that." The duke replied, glancing at his hands. The bruises had faded, but he still remembered the pain of pounding on the window, screaming himself hoarse for his father to see sense, struggling against the guards as he desperately tried to get off the ship, to do something, anything to help them. If nothing else, he owed it to them to stay.

But no. Father had broken a promise he'd never planned to keep, and humans had once agan effortlessly surpassed the Emperor of Hands in their loyalty. "I would never abandon my crew!" Captain Natalie had declared, expecting to prove it with her life.

He hated the smell of wine now.

It hadn't even helped him to forget.

15.

Pirate AU (Variant)

The duke was wearing a full outfit again, because ports were not as indulgent as the crew about him wearing only an artful scrap of cloth and pretending to be a captive. They were far enough from the Empire of Hands that he didn't need to disguise himself from people who might know his true identity; and the obvious fact that he was a Pentacost Ape meant that no one trifled with him. He drifted behind Spike as they made their way to pick up supplies, the duke not optimistic about the prospects of finding anything truly appetizing in this gloomy place. He was just hoping that they would find anything that wasn't either covered in fungus or actually a mushroom. He was entirely unprepared for a familiar voice to greet him.

"Duke Specter? Goodness and darkness, it is you! How lovely to see you again!"

He turned to face a woman dressed in blue and pink, her head wrapped in linen strips with a bat mask pushed to one side of her face, and a blue gem and a pink gem held by strips to cover her eyes. The pink gem glowed as she beamed down at him.

"Lady Adore? I wasn't expecting to see you here." So much for no one recognizing him. A former ally who had been cheated by his father. This could go badly. Then again, Lady Adore was a strange creature even by human(?) standards.

"Oh, I do get around! How have you been, you dear thing? You're looking much better than the last time I saw you! Dear me, that was a bit of an incident, wasn't it?" Her smile turned to a frown as the pink gem dimmed and the blue gem brightened. An "incident" she called it. What an understatement. As ever, she gave no sign of aggression, though she could be at least as formidable as Spike and his crew. Spike was standing nearby, trying to give them space while also being on hand if Specter needed him. He was very thoughtful that way.

"You were left without the reward my father promised you." The duke said bluntly, almost matching her in terms of understatement. She'd been promised vast riches for her considerable assistance, and been shot at.

"Ah, well, he still has time to make things right. I am hardly his most pressing creditor." She said flippantly.

"I heard. Have they caught up with him?"

"Not yet, but the reckoning can not be delayed forever. They're all frightfully angry, you know."

"And you? Are you going after him? Or me?"

"Goodness and darkness, no! I bear you no ill will, good duke! And revenge is a waste of time. I shall move forward, as ever."

"I inherit everything from father. His assets and his debts. I will pay you back for your services, Lady Adore. You're the main reason that airship was able to take flight."

"Dear, please don't burden yourself. I saw you in the window that day. The last thing you wanted to do was take flight."

So she had seen him. She had been there for the launch, when the Pentecost Apes were to escape the embargo on their grand airship. The day the Emperor took his court, and then betrayed his citizens by leaving them behind, having the guards ward them off with bullets. He'd seen her from the window he'd been trying to break, bewildered confusion on her face before she stepped forward and spread her bullet-proof skirts to protect the apes from the guns. She'd done more for them than he had.

"And who is that handsome young man I saw you with? Have you gotten yourself a beau?"

"Lady Adore, no."

"I'm just saying, he looked quite infatuated with you, and you were smiling so brightly at him."

"Lady Adore, NO."

"Do I hear wedding bells...?"

"Please just demand the money I don't have!"

"You're both welcome to drop by my home! I have a guest room with plenty of privacy..."

"Where are the assassination attempts on my life when I need them?!"

16.

NSFW

Pirate AU (Variant)

The duke didn't know how to coil a rope. He knew it was just a matter of deduction, it was just a damn coiled line. However, the thought of doing it wrong had him hesitating before he'd even begun. One of the Twins approached him, and he was so focused on his task that he didn't notice the change in the human's demeanor. Not until his finger gently circled the duke's ear. The Pentacost Ape froze. Was this really happening?

"Want me to stop?"

The duke shook his head.

"Good. Hands on the wall. Push your hips back."

The duke obeyed. He shivered as he felt the human's hand gripping his hips, and slowly slid back to cup his rump, then up to play with his tail. The duke did not attempt to stay quiet, and the Twin appreciated that, adjusting his touches to coax the duke to make different noises. He was playing him like an instrument, teasing him in the hallway for anyone to notice them. The duke loved it.

Though he did freeze up when someone actually noticed them.

"Hey. I want him too." The other Twin said, approaching them.

"No! I got him first. Wait your turn."

She didn't wait, she put her hands on the duke as well, as though to lay claim.

The male Twin growled, and the duke found his loincloth untied and tossed aside.

"Fine. We'll share. AGAIN."

. . .

When the duke finally stumbled back to Spike's bunk, looking like he'd been dragged to heaven and back, Spike wasn't sure how he felt. The Twins had asked his permission, and he said that they needed to ask the duke instead. He'd obviously said yes. Spike wasn't sure if he felt jealous or possesive. He wasn't angry, but he wasn't indifferent either. As he held the duke close, the ape still shuddering and squirming from the euphoria he'd endured, Spike acknowledged one thing: he was happy that the duke had chosen to stay in his bed with him.

17.

I do enjoy the contrast between Admiral Specter being very body shy and flustered and Duke Specter tearing his clothes off and laying down with his tail wagging.

18.

Pirate AU (Variant)

The duke had not really been listening when Captain Natalie had told them what to look for on this small island, so he picked a location at random and pretended he was searching for whatever it was. (A lamb? Did she say a lamb?) When the Luminous Beggars started to swarm, it was a nice break from the boredom. He casually climbed the nearest stalagmite to survey them out of reach of their claws as they swarmed, noting the scratches on their shells and how aggressively they moved; they were clearly starving and would definitely risk attacking him on the off chance they could eat him. The duke contemplated whether to freeze them or burn them, with freezing being neater but having consequences later, while burning would create the most appalling smell. Then he spotted Spike dashing towards him looking worried, and realized that there was a far better option.

"Help! Spike, help! I'm surrounded!" He shouted, pretending that he was in any real danger.

Spike somersaulted through the air to crush two Luminous Beggars beneath his boots when he landed, which immediately got the others to go after the dead ones rather than more lively prey. Spike smashed three more for good measure when they went after him instead of the corpses, and soon the Luminous Beggars had forgotten them entirely. Spike spread out his arms and Specter felt his heart flutter. Was he really...? Yes, he was! The duke let himself fall backwards, his pulse racing before Spike caught him, the duke's mind reeling that Spike had actually offered to catch him in his arms after rescuing him. Spike carried him back to the rowboat while the duke thanked him theatrically and then suddenly stopped.

"Wait... you could have vaporized them." Spike noted, starting to look annoyed.

"I can't just do that any time I want!" Which was true. "You did save me!" Which wasn't.

This seemed to placate Spik, who continued to carry him as the others came back with a lamp. Oh, they'd been looking for a lamp.

19.

Pirate AU (Variant)

The duke had actually expected Blood Haired Jimmy to be more shy. He certainly blushed easily and it was not difficult to fluster him. But as the human pressed him against the wall and forced his mouth open with his own mouth, the duke had to admit that the boy had surprised him. He was so damn warm! It was like being embraced by a cooling furnace tong, and just as yielding. The duke had a general idea of how strong humans were (less than apes, as it should be) and Blood Haired Jimmy was clearly far beyond that as he effortlessly manhandled the duke however he wanted. He was also a sloppy, clumsy kisser, making a mess of it.

Specter was in heaven. He was being ravished by a gentle brute who could do anything he wanted, and what he wanted was to use the duke, while also ensuring that the ape enjoyed himself. He never moved too roughly, he let the duke adjust to his considerable size, and as Specter spent an uncountable amount of time with his legs wrapped around the human's bare waist, he never wanted it to end.

Later, trembling in Spike's bed as Spike applied a washcloth to him, he was thankful that Jimmy stopped when he did. The duke was dehydrated for multiple reasons, and carefully sipped his water with a trembling hand while Spike washed him. The crew kept insisting that the novels he'd read about romantic buccaneers were nonsense, yet if anything they'd understated the reality he'd experienced on this ship. Even Spike, one of the most staunch advocates for the grim truths of life at sea, was letting him stay in his bed and ministered to him with only sarcasm and eye-rolling as the tribulations that the duke had to endure. The duke let out an especially throaty sigh as he spread his legs wider, causing Spike to pause and gulp before he resumed.

One usually had to pay a sultan's ransom for this kind of thing, and the duke was getting it more or less for free. Of course, the oblivious humans would be repaid, one way or another. They might see him as a pretty freeloader, but the duke always repaid his debts. Spike's washcloth soothed his overheated body and earned another loud sigh, the duke unaware of how highly Spike prized those sounds he made. Spike considered any debt to be in the duke's favor, not his.

20.

Pirate AU (Variant)

There were many things to enjoy about his current situation, the duke reflected as he nuzzled Spike's bare chest. The humans here accepted his title without question, yet the full meaning of it seemed irrelevant to them. He was the heir of the Empire of Hands, and they simply didn't care. No one was cozying up to him for favors, no one was applying pressure to him, no one was asking questions he couldn't answer, and the pressure of his father's attention had never felt so distant. Instead, he was just judged for who he was in the moment, and while he thought it was unfair that he was considered an annoying lout, he was also treated like a pretty and desirable concubine. And he could live quite happily with that. It was so uncomplicated, the relationship he had with these riff-raff ruffians. Even Spike, his definite favorite, was just happy to share his bed and lavish occasionally sarcastic affection on the duke. When the ship had been attacked, it had seemed like yet another problem to join the countless others Duke Specter was trying to handle. Instead, a human had effortlessly dodged his attempt to kill him, subdued him without so much as slapping him, and then manhandled his tail so brazenly that the duke was sure he was having an erotic dream.

Later, he would rationalize his impulsive decision to follow the human as an escape from his father, or a way to ransom himself back to the Empire. At the moment, it had been like being trapped in a room with closing walls, then seeing someone burst in, say "oops, wrong way!" and then leave a hole in the wall after they left. He'd gone through out of desperation, and it had exceeded his wildest hopes.

But most of all, thought the duke who was genuinely a brilliant ape, it was uncomplicated and free of silly love and romance like his novels. Despite being a genius, it truly didn't occur to him that spending a great deal of time around someone who made you feel safe and happy after enduring a terrible ordeal would almost certainly lead to complications. No, he sighed and nuzzled Spike's chest like a lovesick oaf and thought himself a clever ape to have avoided all that.

21.

Pirate AU (Variant)

NSFW

When Helga had asked the duke if he knew the Iron Chant, he had thought she was just testing him. He had no idea why she'd care if he had memorized a very intricate and complicated performance, but he had and proudly told her so. When she had asked to meet her in her cabin, he was very pleased to find that was interested in his services and he eagerly lay on his back on her bed as she knelt on his waist. The only concern he had was that he was not especially practiced when it came to using the equipment up front as he was for the back, and he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to satisfy her. She had already anticipated this, and asked him to recite the Iron Chant once they hit a rhythm. With Jimmy and Spike, it was like a blissful blur of losing track of time as they coaxed him to climax again and again. With the Twins, he was overwhelmed by the demanding presence of just one of them, and two were an incredibly vivid experience. With Helga, as he endured the edging and kept his mind desperately focused on the Chant, he was very aware of every second in minute detail as time seemed to slow to a crawl as he was ridden at a steady, excruciating pace. It was the longest he'd ever lasted, but his efforts paid off and he saw the normally reserved Helga genuinely lose herself to his ministrations. It was a while before he could again stagger back to Spike's cabin. Spike chose to clean him off with his tongue this time, which lead to more welcome relief. Spike recognized the taste of Helga, and praised Specter for having the stamina she demanded. And as the duke dozed in his arms, Spike wondered why this troubled him. Was he jealous? Did he want to keep the ape all to himself? He didn't think so, but he was feeling uneasy. Was he just being protective? The duke seemed ravaged by his shipmates and came back a deliriously happy wreck if they had him for too long. But he very obviously loved doing it, and Spike didn't want to deprive him of something that made everyone so happy.

...Maybe if he went with him next time. Was there a way to ask that wouldn't sound possesive or distrustful? What would he even do? Supervise? Make the duke take breaks? Join in and hope everyone's combined efforts could finally slake the duke's lust? He pet the ape's head and thought in circles.

(Okay, I may be using this premise to just showcase Specter as a giant slut. I repent nothing)

[firedragon1321]

So when I played Ape Escape 1, Spike would randomly become sentient and do things that made me succeed. It only happened twice but I still remember.

- Last Jake race. I was stuck for three days at least. I figured out a path and stuck to it because I believed that would allow me to win. Three days of hopelessness and despair. Then Spike "accidentally" took another path and won.

- Final. Fucking. Boss. To this day, I can't tell you how the final hit happened. I was swinging around wildly, but Spike knew what he was doing. His low polygon eyes saw what I did not. I remember staring at my screen like..."did I just beat the game?".

Thank you little buddy.

[megahorous]

I was interested in other Playstation All-Stars, so I decided to try Ape Escape: on the Loose [remake of the first one] !  Just finished !

-- I remember passing this one by back in the day, when PSP games were in the stores

-- This one features a kid and his rival heading to the Professor’s house to see his new invention !  Not unlike Pokemon, I thought...and then he needs your help to capture a ~hundred cute little monsters running around !  Coincidence?!

-- [Spike] is PaRappa’s rival in PS All-Stars.  I think I can understand why an intelligent animal would find this premise somewhat disturbing.  Villain Protagonist [?!] 

-- Maybe letting Evil Monkeys take over the world would be an improvement; who knows.  You never know until you try

-- Natalie gets to be a damsel-in-distress in the last stage, but I don’t think Spike has much business complaining about Specter capturing his allies.  He saves Professor too [her grandfather] and it’s interesting to compare their reactions

-- Whoever designed the last stage is a jerk

-- Well It wasn’t too bad until the Very Final Stretch, with the bouncy pads and the mini-boss waiting up top!  I almost gave up, atypically.....then later I decided to try again whilst listening to relaxing music.  It took me the whole CD but it worked !  Those two stupid bouncy pads....

-- As for the Final[?] Boss himself, I actually got him on my first try....barely !  

-- I don’t think I wanna try to catch ‘em all at this point; I need a break

[suddenlypiggieseverywhere]

Inktober Day 19: Ponytail

[numberonerandomblogger]

I made a video about Ape Escape Lore (Part 1)

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Every Little Thing *He* Does is Magic, Chapter 3

Pairing: Platonic Steven Grant x Reader (for now)

Rating: T

Word count: ~900

Story Summary: The events of Every Little Thing She Does is Magic, retold from Reader's perspective after the fact to her best friend.

Tags/Warnings: Companion fic, canon Divergent since Steven still works for the British Museum post-canon, No Jake Lockley, developing friendship, spoilers for ELTSDiM

A/N: Enjoy Reader's perspective of the gala!

Y/N yawned as she took her shoes off and  flexed her toes. While the heels she had chosen to wear to the museum gala that evening were fashionable, they hadn't been the most comfortable to have been wearing while on her feet all night. Gotta remember to wear flats to the next one.

She was exhausted but had promised to call Amy as soon as she had gotten home, so she sat on her couch and opened their text thread.

Made it home, she typed out. You free to FT?

Less than a minute later, her phone rang with a FaceTime request.

She swiped to answer. “Hey, Ames.”

Amy grinned. “Hey! How was the gala?”

Y/N huffed out a breath. “Oh my gosh, I have so much to tell you.”

She stretched out and got comfortable. “Okay, first of all, like as soon as I got there I was immediately accosted by that one board member who has to brag to me about the original Vermeer he has hanging in his house every single time he sees me, as if one day I'll magically be impressed and take him up on his offer to come see it in person.”

Amy made a face. “Eww. That guy just cannot take a hint that you're not interested.”

“I know. Anyway, I was looking around for some way to escape Cohen when I saw Steven.” Y/N huffed out a breath. “Girl, when I tell you he looks good in a tux…”

She shook her head. “Actually, wait, I have a photo that Helen took of the two of us with the head of Curation. One second.”

She quickly reopened her and Amy’s text thread and sent her the picture.

Amy's eyebrows raised. “Damn. He’s really the whole package, isn't he?”

Y/N laughed. “I know, right?”

“Also, might I say that you look amazing in that dress. I'm actually not surprised Creepy Cohen tried to make another move.”

“Aww, thanks. So anyway, Steven came over and pretended like he had been looking for me in order to discuss ‘important museum business’ and whisked me away, then he got us a couple of drinks and we chatted about work for a bit until it was time for my welcome speech -- which by the way, thanks so much for helping me with that.”

Amy smiled. “Any time, bestie. So did you get to dance with your man after your speech or was it not that kind of party?”

Y/N shook her head. “Not that kind of party, but I did get to talk with Steven some more, get to know him a bit outside of work.”

“...Like as in finding out if he has a girlfriend?”

Y/N huffed out a light laugh. “It doesn't seem like it from what he said, but he does have a pet goldfish named Gus. Oh, and he's studying hieroglyphics.” Y/N bit her lip. “We, um, we actually snuck away from the gala together to go see if we could translate Akhenaten’s sarcophagus.”

Amy raised an eyebrow. “Please tell me that was a euphemism.”

Y/N let out an undignified snort. “Oh my God, Amy. Of course not.”

“You seriously snuck off from a fancy work event with a hot guy that you're majorly jonesing over to do more work? Girl, I love you, but you are such a nerd.”

“What? It was either that or go hide out in my office alone. Besides, I've told you before, regardless of my feelings, I'm sure Steven doesn't return them anyway. He's so formal with me -- it's always ‘yes, ma'am’ this and Dr. Y/L/N’ that.”

Amy smirked. “Maybe he has an authority kink.”

Y/N sat up. “Okay, I'm hanging up now--”

“No, no, wait!” Amy shook her head with a smile. “Seriously, though, maybe that's his way of keeping his distance since you are off limits. You did say he was much more relaxed and maybe even flirty with you before he knew you were the new director.”

“It’s more likely that he’s just not interested. Oh, and apparently I turn into a Victorian maiden at the slightest touch, because I tripped while standing up from crouching in front of Akhenaten's sarcophagus and when Steven grabbed my hand to steady me my brain went completely offline, like I mean full-on ‘ does not compute’ .” Y/N shook her head. “I must've made him uncomfortable because after that it seemed like he couldn't get back downstairs to the gala fast enough.”

“Or he felt a spark too and decided that he needed to get back downstairs before he slammed you up against Akenhament’s sarcophagus and had his wicked way with you.”

Y/N shook her head even as her mind entertained the thought. “It's Akhenaten, and I very highly doubt that. It’s fine, it's just a little crush. I'm sure I'll get over it soon.”

She yawned. “It's almost midnight here and I'm exhausted, so I’m gonna run.”

Amy nodded. “Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Sweet dreams!”

“Thanks, Ames. ‘Night.”

Y/N ended the call and stood, then headed to her bedroom.

She plugged her phone in to charge then got ready for bed. 

She climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep almost immediately, dreaming of soft brown eyes and a crooked smile.

[justagirlinafandomworld]

Welcome to April 2023's Reading List! I fell off the reading wagon this month - who would have thought that I would be so busy on vacation? Not me lol. I hope April was kind to you. And if it wasn’t, I hope you’ll still be kind to yourself. Now let's dive into some fics!

Thank you, all you talented writers for providing us with an escape. It’s so needed and appreciated. You’re awesome. 😘

Happy Reading!

2023 reading list | fic rec masterlist

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

Marvel

Drabble by @angrythingstarlight Soft!Dark Mafia Bucky x Runaway Bride!Reader Warnings: 18+ only.

Passionate Negotiations by @targaryenvampireslayer Mob Boss!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Your husband is in trouble with the wrong man, and there's something you can do to get him out of it. Warnings: domestic a/buse. Implied marital r/ape. Nefarious mob plots including d/rugs and m/urder. F/orced cuckholding and f/orced voy-uerism. Mentions of mis/carriage due to ab/use. Kind of d-ub c-on. Threats. S/mut. P in V. O/ral. F/ingering. Dirty talk. All kinds of fun! 18+ ONLY PLEASE AND FUCKING THANK YOU!

Star Trek aos

Imagine Going to the Beach with Jim by @youre-on-a-starship Jim Kirk x Reader Prompt: “A kirk x reader one where you go to the beach and see him shirtless? ;) and then someone tries to flirt and you decide to test him, and he actually tells the other person to back off??” Warnings: none provided.

Supernatural

Dreams of Happiness (Rumors Part 2) by @deanwinchesterswitch Dean Winchester x Female Reader You’re doing well in your new life—many would say you’re ‘living the dream’. The only problem is, it’s not the life you dreamed of living. Warnings: 18+ Angst; Some fluff; Language; Mentions of smut; Canon divergence.

When the Walls Come Down (Rumors Part 3) by @deanwinchesterswitch Dean Winchester x Female Reader Memories and longing chip away at the walls they built to protect their hearts, but as their defenses begin to crumble, shame and regret seep through the cracks threatening to leave love buried beneath the rubble. Warnings: 18+ Angst; A tiny bit of fluff; Dean being Dean; Language; Implication of sex work; Canon divergence; Descriptions of high emotional distress; Possible triggers

Madness by @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior Dean Winchester x Y/N Dean wants EVERYONE to know that you belong to him. Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut. Smut. Smut. All smut. Rough sex. Public sex. Brief, slightly degrading talk, Unprotected P in V sex, voyeurism mentioned, breeding kink if you REALLY squint, possessive!dean.

The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship by @there-must-be-a-lock Dean Winchester x Reader Request: “Enemies to lovers with sub!Dean, please and thank you.” Warnings: mature

He is the Storm by @deanwinchesterswitch Dean Winchester x Female Reader Drabble Warnings: none provided

Dirty Sweet by @deanwinchesterswitch Dean Winchester x Unnamed Female Dean's girl is a handful and he wouldn't have it any other way. Warnings: NSFW-18+

Pure by @deanwinchesterswitch Dean Winchester x Female Reader Purgatory is heartbreaking in its purity. Warnings: NSFW-18+; Canon typical violence

Part-time soulmate by @princessmisery666 Dean Winchester x Unnamed Female The lure is stronger than the certainty of heartbreak. Warnings/Genres etc.: Angst.  

Love-Blind Haze by @princessmisery666 Dean Winchester x Unnamed Female Habits are hard to break, especially ones as blinding as Dean. Warnings/Genres etc.: angst.

Seen by @deanwinchesterswitch Dean Winchester x Female Reader A chance encounter could lead to something more. Warnings: none provided.

Top Gun: Maverick

Falling & Failing by @princessmisery666 Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Unnamed Female Song prompt from Unclaimed Love Songs: Falling Slowly Song by Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová Warnings: none provided

Fries, Goodbyes & The Rest of Our Lives by @princessmisery666 Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Female Reader Being stood up isn’t always a bad thing. Warnings/Genre etc.: Fluff, lousy singing. 

Other Characters

Desire by @deanwinchesterswitch Any male x Reader Drabble Warnings: none provided.

[pesteringchum]

rambles abt my humanstuck au under the cut

jade is like an oc to me <3

in my au jade and jake are siblings who got lost in the woods when they were very young [maybe like 3 and 6] and they were raised by a white wolf for several years. eventually, they were found [jade was about 5, jake was about 8] and adopted by grandma and grandpa english, two heirs who escaped crockercorp and built themselves a cabin in the woods. though grandpa wants to name the wolf after his childhood dog halley, grandma names him bec after the scientist bc its easier for jade and jake to say.

since jade is younger than jake, she has a much stronger attachment to bec than he does, to the point where she and bec are virtually inseparable. this made school a challenge since bec refused to let jade out of his sight, but the local elementary schools didnt care for letting a wolf hang around their students. she was homeschooled by grandpa, learning everything from nuclear physics to hunting and tracking. until one day, when she was about 9, he went missing. grandma figured he got turned around in the woods at his old age and went after him, only to go missing herself. the two kids found their bodies later that day, both with bullet holes in them. grandpa’s body was mostly intact but grandma’s was in worse condition, so, like their grandparents taught them, jade embalmed grandpa while jake cremated grandma.

with their survival knowledge from their grandparents, bec’s hunting and protection, and dipping into the fortune their grandparents left behind, jade and jake were able to survive for a few months on their own before they were discovered. since jake hadn’t been attending school, the school noticed something was up and cps came to check on them. fearing separation, they faked their deaths by burning down the cabin and hiding themselves and their most valuable possessions in the hidden bunker [grandma and grandpa had been paranoid their whole lives and over prepared for the worst].

PM, an old friend of grandma’s, hears about the english family’s mysterious disappearance and comes to investigate. after a brief scuffle with bec, she finds jake and jade and adopts them. all of their documents burned in the fire so PM pulls some strings [PM has lived a very interesting life, so she knows a lot of people w influence] and gets them a new identity as jade and jake harley and sends them to the local middle school with bec registered as jade’s esa, since jade gets incredibly anxious without him around. despite PM’s efforts, jade is only able to go to public school part time since the school doesnt want bec around very often, but jade likes things better this way anyway [everything at school is too easy/boring for her]. since PM works full time, jade mostly self studies. to get jade to get out into society more, PM encourages her to take music lessons at the local music school, which is where she meets rose, john, and dave, who are taking violin, piano, and music theory classes respectively [jade is taking bass lessons]. they all go to different middle schools but they talk online all the time.

all of their middle schools feed into the same high school, so eventually they are able to go to school together. at this point, jade has been in therapy for years so she is a little less dependant on bec and is able to attend school full time without needing him constantly beside her [but he still insists on walking with her to and from school and visiting her during lunch]. even as a high schooler, jade wears dog ears, and occasionally a tail, to school every day because they remind her of bec [when shes stressed she will rub the ears like a comfort blanket].

she is taking all AP classes, is on the track team, is petitioning for the school to form a rifle team, is in the gardening club, plays flute in the school orchestra [she is not good at ALL but she loves it], and is on the robotics team. she also is in a band with dave, john, and rose [she plays bass with them, thankfully]!

other than school and businesses that dont allow animals, jade brings bec wherever she goes, including the other kids’ houses. john is a little scared of bec but thinks bec is cool. he just wishes bec didnt insist on laying on his bed though, he sheds everywhere! rose is more of a cat person but has a healthy respect for bec and also appreciates how having bec around freaks out her mom [mom will always offer bec a lovely steak tartar, though. her passive aggression clearly knows no bounds, not even fear]. dave claims he and bec are mortal enemies but bec does not care about him at all. dave is terrified of bec but would never admit it, but he tolerates his presence for jade’s sake.

[ramascreen]

Official Poster For ALONE AT NIGHT Starring Ashley Benson, Pamela Anderson and Luis Guzmán

Official Poster For ALONE AT NIGHT Starring Ashley Benson, Pamela Anderson and Luis Guzmán

Vertical Entertainment has released this official poster for ALONE AT NIGHT STARRING Ashley Benson, Jon Foster, Jake Weary, Winnie Harlow, G-Eazy, A$AP Nast, Luis Guzmán, Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson In Theaters and On Demand January 20 Vicky (Ashley Benson) is a young woman looking for an escape after going through a harrowing break-up. After retreating to a friend’s remote cabin in the woods…

[callmebrycelee]

MY MAN CRUSH MONDAY IS...TYLER LABINE

Tyler Sean Labine is a Canadian-American actor and comedian best known for portraying Dr. Iggy Frome in the NBC medical drama New Amsterdam and Dale Dobson in the 2010 black comedy horror film Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. Tyler was born April 29, 1978 in Brampton, Ontario, Canada. He is 44 years old and a Taurus. Tyler’s television credits include Street Legal, Road to Avonlea, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, The Commish, The X-Files, Robin of Locksley, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Breaker High, First Wave, 2gether, Dark Angel, The Twilight Zone, Da Vinci’s Inquest, Jake 2.0, Kevin Hill, Invasion, Boston Legal, Reaper, Sons of Tucson, Animal Practice, Royal Pains, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Kevin (Probably) Saves the World, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. He has starred in the following films: Antitrust, My Boss’s Daughter, Flyboys, Control Alt Delete, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Fathers & Sons, A Good Old Fashioned Orgy, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Sisters & Brothers, Rapture-Palooza, Cottage Country, Someone Marry Barry, Monsters University, Big Bear, Super Troopers 2, Broken Star, Escape Room, and Escape Room: Tournament of Champions. Tyler is 6 feet tall.

[julie-su]

BTW FOUND ANOTHER PIECE OF HIROKI & SPECTER ART THAT IS POSED JUST LIKE MINE..... Human connection of seeing a little freak be mind controlled.... Love and peace on the planet earth.

[kichimiangra]

I.... it wasn't on here? What the fuck I went looking for this thinking it would be easy to find via a repload to Tumblr by searching the tags only to see it just isn't fucking on here? This has been an unlisted video on youtube since 2015! And the only parts of it I ever put up where some gifs that DIDN'T MAKE IT INTO THE VIDEO? What the FUCK? Any here's the video because AE is 1 of my 2 hyperfixations rn, Link to the gifs Here so I can find them easier.

[nullarysources]

Who freed Flaco? One year later, celebrity owl's escape from Central Park Zoo remains a mystery

Jake Offenhartz for the AP:

Under cover of darkness a year ago Friday, someone breached a waist-high fence and slipped into the Central Park Zoo. Once inside, they cut a hole through a steel mesh cage, freeing a majestic Eurasian eagle-owl named Flaco who had arrived at the zoo as a fledgling 13 years earlier.

Immediately, Flaco fled the park, blinking his big orange eyes at pedestrians and police on Fifth Avenue before flying off into the night.

In the year since his dramatic escape, Flaco has become one of the city's most beloved characters. By day he lounges in Manhattan's courtyards and parks or perches on fire escapes. He spends his nights hooting atop water towers and preying on the city's abundant rats.

To the surprise of many experts, Flaco is thriving in the urban wilds. An apex predator with a nearly 6-foot (2-meter) wingspan, he has called on abilities some feared he hadn't developed during a lifetime in captivity, gamely exploring new neighborhoods and turning up unexpectedly at the windows of New Yorkers.

Free hi—oh, he's already free, keep up the good work

[shxdowsofombra]

Returning to School

[Henry]

It was a long weekend and there was so much going on and he needed a break from it all. He returned back to the dorms to get his homework from Josh. He knocked on the door and waited for the boy to answer. 

[Josh]

Josh opened the door and saw Henry and moved to hug him. “Hi, how are you?” He asked as he pulled away to look at him.

[Henry]

Henry was exhausted to say the least but still he found enough energy to muster up a smile for the other. He hugged Josh back before the other pulled away. “There was just so much going on that I think I am still trying to process it all. I um…I came to get my homework though. I think I should go home for a bit since my dad had the heart attack you know? I should keep an eye on him since my mom was angry at him.” He tells him. 

[Josh]

“Yeah, I completely understand. Um…you don’t actually need your homework though. I just did it for you. I figured that would be easier, but I have the books you need to read. I’m sorry about your dad, but what about Hallie? Is she out of the hospital too?”

[Henry]

“You didn’t have to do that for me.” He tells him as he tries to hide a small smile. “I appreciate it though. She is still in a coma and I think she will be for a while so that her body can heal properly. Do you think you can run me through everything we were taught though real quick so I have an idea of what is going on?” He asks. 

[Josh]

“Well I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.” He smiled before nodding. “Sure, uh did you want to go to your room?” He asks.

[Henry]

“Yeah we can do that.” He says as he takes Josh’s hand in his as they make their way next door. “Have classes been okay though? Nothing too hard or anything?” 

[Josh]

Josh closed his door before walking with Henry. “Well I mean they are AP classes so yeah they are a little hard, but it’s fine. I just have been missing you. I’m glad you’re back. Even if it’s just for today.”

[Henry]

“I missed you too. Can we…can we cuddle while you show me the books? I need something that feels normal and you are always my anchor back from everything chaotic so…please?” He asks. 

[Josh]

“Sure we can cuddle, but we don’t have to talk about the books now. I mean they aren’t due for a while, I just wanted to get a head start and thought you would too. And books are always a great escape when you are feeling bad…at least for me.” He smiled as they walked into the room.

[Henry]

Henry shut the door behind them as he was already in pretty casual clothes it was easy for him to just hop in bed under the covers as he waited for Josh to join him. “Yeah I like to get a head start as well to help distract from everything else.” He tells him.

[Josh]

Josh got under the covers with him and cuddled up to him before nodding. “Well they are pretty long so they should do just the trick. And you are always free to visit the library and check out whatever you want.”

[Henry]

“Mhm even if I were to visit the library my favorite librarian isn’t there to check out.” He teases as he cuddles Josh. “I am sorry about my behavior when we first got here. I was jealous and I was an asshole about it. I was upset but that doesn’t mean I should have let it out on both of you.” He tells Josh as he lays on the other’s chest. 

[Josh]

“Both of us?” He asked in confusion. “Who are you talking about?” 

[Henry]

“The guy you invited back to your place after the club meeting? Brett or Jake I think it was Jake.” He tells him. “I didn’t hallucinate that whole thing did I?” 

[Josh]

“Oh…right…well it’s fine. I mean you acting like an asshole wasn’t fine, but you have other stuff going on. We don’t have to talk about that.” Josh says.

[Henry]

Henry nodded his head as he just stayed cuddled up. “Okay then.” He mumbled as he inhaled the other’s familiar scent and it calmed him down a bit more so he wasn’t as tense.

[Josh]

“I did join the science club though so I will be seeing him again. I hope all that jealousy is over though, because I don’t like him. We are just friends.”

[Henry]

“I am taking my meds again so it’s been helping. I feel like I am losing my family and if I were to lose you too…” He could feel his eyes watering as he tried not to cry. “But you know, Charlie told me something pretty funny.”

[Josh]

“Losing your family? I thought you said your dad is okay, and your mom is just mad. But you still have Emmett and Hallie will be fine.” He reassured him before hearing his words. “What did he say?”

[Henry]

“Everyone is fighting and trying to not be near each other because of what happened. It’s like everything is falling apart and I can’t do anything about it.” He sighed. “Well, he said that he has been getting some mysterious letters in the mail which I’m pretty sure are from your parents saying how much they would love to have him back at the library.” He laughed slightly. 

[Josh]

“Well you could parent trap them.” He suggested before rolling his eyes. “Of course they would do that. They are like stalkers.” He said before sighing.

[Henry]

“Parent trap them?” He asks in confusion. “Is that like a book or something?” Henry asks before letting out a small laugh. “I think it’s pretty funny though.” 

[Josh]

“Yeah, you get them all in a room where they are forced to talk it out. If they are all avoiding each other then that accomplishes nothing. But if they talk it out, who knows it might help.” He shrugs.

[Henry]

“You sure it might not make them want to kill each other?” He asks while raising a brow. “I mean it might work…maybe.” He says as he thinks about it. 

[Josh]

“Killing each other would be better than ignoring each other, at least they would be talking out their problems. If they continue to ignore them, it’s easier to just forget about the person ll together.”altogether

[Henry]

“I mean I guess. I don’t want them to get angry at me either. So maybe some space will be good for them for a bit.” He says. 

[Josh]

“I mean whatever you decide, Henry.” He says.

[Henry]

Henry sighs before straddling Josh’s lap and just laying on him. “What about you? How was your visit home?” 

[Josh]

“Uh what are you doing?” He asked before shrugging. “It was fine, nothing super special.”

[Henry]

“I am huggling you.” He tells him as he rests his chin on Josh’s chest. “I am hug cuddling you.” He explains. “So then did you just help out at the library the whole time you were there?” 

[Josh]

“Oh okay.” He nods before hearing the question. “Yeah, I just wanted to spend time with my family. It was fun.”.

[Henry]

“I also heard that Charlie signed up for a library card. I never thought I would live to see the day my uncle would get one. I never took him as the type to want to read books much.” He shrugged. 

[Josh]

“I think he’s only doing it for that boy he’s dating. I don’t think he really cares that much about the books.” Josh states.

[Henry]

“Oh he got books because of Tate? Really? Must be really whipped in that case.” He smirked with a small laugh. 

[Josh]

“Yeah, I guess. He was talking about being normal and none of it really made all that much sense to me.” He shrugged.

[Henry]

“Being normal? I thought he was normal? Well I mean as normal as he can get really.” He says as he looks at him. “I mean he was in the castle a lot more than my other aunts and uncles so maybe that is what he is referring to.” 

[Josh]

“I don’t know, I didn't really understand all that much. And I just learned sometimes it’s better to be supportive than question things.”

[Henry]

“Yeah I guess so.” He shrugged as he cuddled against him.