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theemissuniverse · 6 days

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“I WALK THE LINE” JAVIER GARCIA X TOUGH FEM!READER

SUMMARY : You are the leader of The New Frontier and you’ve won the heart of both brothers but you’re only interested in the baseball player.

ADDITIONAL : So that there is no confusion, this takes place after the events of killing Joan only that then you became leader. Also Clem never got kicked out and lives with you and AJ. Mariana never died. And there’s just things that are tweaked in the story but will make sense as you read.

WARNINGS : Cursing, suggestive content, talks about religion, and maybe more

There was something about you that made you so intriguing yet utterly horrifying to Javi. Maybe it was because you acted somewhat like his brother and were in a solider mindset. Or maybe it was the way you spoke about death like you weren’t afraid of it. Maybe it was because you were so beautiful yet so deadly. Or maybe it was just you period.

Javi had met you when he came into the New Frontier seeing as you were the leader and David was your second in command. His first impression? You were hard to impress. You didn’t care about anything really other than the mission at hand but Javi saw more through you.

You caught on to the fact that Kate had feelings for him and would relentlessly joke about it to Javi which irritated him to no end. He didn’t have feelings for her. He never did. Not for his brother’s wife.

He saw how history may soon repeat because even though you were not with David romantically, it was clear he wanted to be with you romantically. Though, he would never admit it. David took pride in his reputation and him falling for you didn’t look good considering he technically already had a wife.

Javi was after all, a man at the end of the day and could tell by just looking at the two of you. The longing looks David had for you. How he would at least try to control his temper around you. How you were the only one to keep him in check.

And Javi hated it.

He just couldn’t tell if you felt the same way back and until he did so, he would keep hitting on you. Even in front of his brother.

Javi played with the ring on his finger that belonged to his father while watching you. You were looking over some papers to see about your supply chain in the doctors office alone. Javi took it as his chance to stroll over to you.

He watched you look up from your papers and down. “What do you want twenty five?”

Twenty five was the nickname that was quickly given to him while you discovered of his baseball history. He didn’t mind it though. He thought it was cute. And he thought more that you liked him. At least a little.

“I can’t come in a check on you?” Javi asked fake offended.

“I don’t need you to do that. I already have David breathing down my neck.” Javi watched as you winced and held your stomach.

You gotten a pretty bad gash on your stomach from Badger and it wasn’t looking so good. Usually David was tough around everyone but the wound was so bad that he was starting to worry.

And if David of all people was worrying than it had to be that bad.

Javi took the papers out your hand and made you sit on top of the desk. “Hey, sit down.”

You sighed in annoyance. “Not you too.”

“Hey, if the big bad wolf is worried…then it’s gotta be bad.” Javi noticed your eye roll and chuckled.

You leaned back a little. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He’s been acting weird. I can’t put my finger on it.”

Of course, Javi knew exactly what was wrong. The problem was David wanted you but he didn’t want you. He wanted you in the best possible ways but he didn’t want the baggage that would come with that.

Lucky for Javi, he didn’t mind baggage. “David isn’t used to caring about something.” Javi put it into simple terms. “Just give him a second.”

“You’re too nice to him. Because the way he treats you…if I had a sister and she did me the way he did you…she wouldn’t be breathing.”

Javi laughed. “Well…Clementine’s kinda like your sister isn’t she?”

“Well yeah. But she doesn’t tell me how much of a failure I am every second.”

That was true. For Javi, it was hard dealing with David but he had gotten so used to it that it didn’t even affect him anymore. “It’s like wired in my brain. I know he loves me he just…has a funny way of showing it.”

“Yeah. You’re telling me.”

Javi noticed that you clutched your stomach in pain again. “Let me see.”

You gave him a look. “Is this your excuse of trying to see me shirtless.”

“I would’ve came up with something better if that’s the case.”

The statement made you laugh a little and you lifted your shirt for Javi to see the scar.

It was bad. A stab to the right and it would’ve been over for you. The stitches were nicely done. “Who did these?”

“Clementine…still don’t know how she knows how to do that.”

Javi nodded in agreement. “That’s one tough kid.” His hand gently went to caress the scar. He was so glad that badger was dead.

You watched as Javi’s expression went from worry to anger. A similar expression you had seen on David. You took Javi’s hand and held it. “I’m fine. Relax. It could’ve been worse.”

“Yeah. That’s the problem. It could’ve went worse.”

“Luckily you shot him in the head huh?”

“I wish I could do it twice.”

It was moments like these you saw the similarities to Javi and David and you couldn’t help but laugh because it was something you expected from David but not Javi.

You got off from the desk and Javi helped you off. You were about to fall but Javi quickly caught you and held you close. “Careful.” He told you. “That supply chain isn’t going anywhere.”

“You know if I don’t do it, David is definitely not doing it.”

Javi chuckled and helped you stand to your feet. “That’s one thing about him. All about the action. Hates the paperwork.”

“You know what else David is gonna hate?”

Javi looked at you curiously. “What?”

You covered your mouth as sort of a playful whisper. “You banging his wife.”

Again with the joke, Javi watched you laugh as he groaned out of annoyance. You walked out the room and Javi followed in pursuit. “How many times do I have to tell you, nothing is going on between me and her.”

“Well obviously she wants you.”

“I don’t want her.”

You playfully gasped in shock to him and stopped walking making him stop. “You don’t want thee Kate Garcia?” Javi rolled his eyes. “What will the world do if they didn’t have twenty five in their life?”

You went back to walking and Javi followed in pursuit. “Hey, I had a lot of women wanting twenty five in their life thank you very much.”

“Oh yeah? Were they all offered to hitch a ride to the psych ward afterwards?”

“Oh very funny.”

“I know. I’m a true comedian really.”

Javi had never seen you this way around anyone really. You were always so cold. So negative but with him you weren’t like that.

That made him believe you two had something.

Javi walked right in front of you to stop you in your tracks. “Busy tonight?”

“Actually, I was totally looking forward to my nail and hair appointment.” You said sarcastically. “Ooh! Or maybe go sight seeing with walkers!”

“Taking that as a no…” He trailed off before speaking again. “I need help with the count on food for next week.”

“Oh and you’re just so helpless that you need me?”

“Exactly.”

You rolled your eyes playfully before nodding. “Sure. I guess.”

You went to take another step but the sudden pain pinched at your gut and you clutched your stomach. Javi immediately held you by the waist and brought you closer. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

Javi knew you weren’t fond of touch but you never seemed to mind when he held you.

The two of you heard footsteps coming from down the hall. Javi was about to remove his hands from your waist but you placed your hands on top of his, keeping them firm in place.

The person stopped in their tracks and you two recognized it was David.

He gave the two of you a look of disgust before looking at his brother in anger. “What the hell is going on?”

“Nothing.” You stated calmly. “Just slight pain.”

David immediately walked over to you and grabbed the papers in your hand. He looked at them before getting annoyed. “I told you I would do this.”

“You’re not going to do it the correct way.” You told him.

“Yes I will.” He looked over at Javi. “What are you doing here?”

Javi, knowing the reason why David was being like this, rolled his eyes at him. “Just helping, (Y/N). Relax.”

“Don’t tell me to relax.” When David said that, you gave him a good hard smack on his chest.

“Shut up, you idiot. You’re so annoying sometimes.”

Javi watched as David took a deep breath in and out. He noticed his brother was trying to control his temper and it was working. Once again, he controlled his anger for you.

“Look, come on. I’ll help you.” He practically pushed Javi off of you and held onto your waist as you started walking away.

“You’re being ridiculous.” You grumbled.

“I’m not being ridiculous. You are.”

Javi sighed slightly watching him walk away with you but he wasn’t worried. Not even in the slightest.

When Javi turned around, he jumped back a little. He wasn’t expecting for Clementine to be there. “Ay’ dios mio, do you always sneak up behind people?”

“I wasn’t sneaking.” Clementine defended. “I was going to talk to (Y/N) but I see your brother already hauled her off somewhere.”

“Yeah.” Javi crossed his arms. “He hasn’t let her breathe ever since…”

Clementine nodded. “I think it’s because he’s mad.”

“Mad?” Javi questioned. “Why would he be mad?”

“Mad at you.”

“Me? What did I do?…This time?”

Clementine smiled slightly before shaking her head. “You saved her. I think David wanted to be the one that was there.”

It made sense in some way but Javi still couldn’t understand. You were safe now. Why did it matter? “But she’s alive? Shouldn’t that be all that matters?”

“Not if it’s you involved.” Clementine walked over to the window and Javi followed her. There, they watched as David sat you down in a chair. “I’m not blind. I know he likes her. And I know you like her too.”

Javi wasn’t going to deny it. Especially because Clementine was already a smart kid. “You think it’s not worth it?”

“I think if you love someone, anything is worth it.” She said. “But is it worth losing your brother?”

David already lost Kate because of Javi. Was it fair he’d lose you to? Because of him?

This wasn’t fair. He didn’t ask to have feelings for you. They were just there. And he definitely didn’t ask for Kate to have feelings for him which David didn’t even know that he was the real reason they weren’t together anymore.

But you were worth everything.

When the stars shined in the sky, Javi put on his jersey and opened the door to walk out of his room. What he didn’t expect was to see Kate standing right there. “Oh…hey, Kate.”

Ever since Kate confessed her feelings for Javi and he rejected her, Javi felt it was best to keep his distance. If she was any other woman than it wouldn’t have been a problem. But she wasn’t just any woman. She was his brother’s wife.

“I was going to knock…where are you going?”

He really didn’t feel like getting into an argument with her as you and Kate did not get along but he also wasn’t one to lie. “Going to count the food supply with (Y/N).”

Kate scoffed. “She can’t do it herself?”

Javi suppressed an eye roll. He stepped out the room making her take a step back and closed the door before walking. “You know it’s my job right?”

“That doesn’t mean she needs to be with you. God it’s like ever since she got hurt you and David…”

“Hey I’ve been letting her do her own thing. David is the one that’s not letting her breathe.”

“It’s like he likes her or something…”

Javi caught the attitude in her voice. He wasn’t fond of David liking you either. Well that was because of his own feelings but why did Kate have a problem with it. “Does it matter? You broke up with him.”

He watched as Kate’s head went down in shame and she sighed. “Yeah. Look how that turned out.”

That made Javi stop in his tracks. He turned around and faced Kate, also making her stop. “Listen, I’m sorry how things turned out and I don’t mean to sound harsh but you got to let it go.”

“Let it go? You’re telling me to let my feelings go?”

“Yes. It’s wrong and I don’t want to be any part of it when David finds out the real reason you broke it off with him.”

Kate grabbed Javi’s hands and brought them to her. “So you’re saying if David wasn’t your brother you would be with me?”

Javi shook his head and took his hands back from her. “No Kate. Brother or not, I don’t feel anything for you. I care about you but I don’t love you. I’m sorry.”

Before Kate could get out a response, Javi’s radio started to sound like static. And then he heard your voice over it. “Twenty five. You ready?”

Javi grabbed his radio and pressed the button to speak. “Yeah. Where you want me to meet you at?”

“Just meet me at the warehouse. Also I like roses.”

Javi smiled knowing you were half joking. “Copy that.” He placed the radio on his belt and when he looked up, he saw Kate had an angry expression. “What?”

“You’re in love with her? Are you serious?”

“Kate…” Javi sighed out. “I’m not having this discussion with you.”

When Kate looked into his eyes all she saw was someone that didn’t care about her. “Unbelievable…” She mumbled before turning around and walking away.

“It’s like I’m in high school all over again.” Javi said to himself.

It didn’t matter if you were half joking, Javi still picked you out the prettiest rose from the garden you all were growing.

You were in the warehouse already counting the food while sitting on the ground. You had the burden of being leader ever since they took down Joan and the others which meant the responsibility of everyone fell on you.

Javi could tell you were stressed but you were good at not showing it. That’s what he loved about you. About how big your heart was despite you trying to act otherwise.

He walked over towards you and held out the rose. “This wasn’t my ideal date.”

You looked up and were surprised that he had gotten you a rose. You took it before looking up at him. “What was then?”

“You know…” Javi sat in front of you and grabbed one of the clipboards. “Dinner and a night out. Not being inside counting our dinner.”

You chuckled a little before resuming your count. “You know I don’t really miss how the world used to be.”

Javi raised a brow at this. “Why? What could be worse than people trying to eat you?”

“At least they can’t control them being monsters. But us…we can control that.”

Javi got what you were hinting towards. “Yeah, that’s true.”

You hit your pen on your clipboard, deep in thought. “Do you believe in God, Javi?”

“Yes…but I can see why someone wouldn’t.”

You nodded at his opinion. “I never did. Everyone always told me that God was always watching me…then why did he watch me as my father beat me? Or when my mother lit her cigarette on me? Or when my Uncle John forced me to drink liquor? Or when my cousin Rob killed my cat? Why did he always just watch and never do anything?”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m in my old life or this life…either way…it sucks both ways. Mind as well take the one that sucks less.”

Javi wasn’t surprised to hear what happened in your life only because it explained why you were the tough woman you are now.

He knew what you felt about sympathy and he knew you despised grievance so he took another approach. “Maybe God wanted you to suffer.”

At that, you looked at him, extremely confused but laughing. “What?”

Javi laughed with you. “Yeah, maybe he picked you because he specifically hated you and wanted you to suffer the most.”

You laughed hysterically and hit him with your clipboard. “Shut up.”

“I’m serious. He’s probably looking down right now and thinking, ‘damn I probably didn’t do enough.”

“You’re so stupid.” You said with a laugh.

Getting you to smile was one of the best things Javi could accomplish. You smiled like you were the happiest person in the world.

“I wish David could be like this. He’s too serious.”

When you said that, Javi decided to rip the bandaid off. “That’s because he’s in love with you.”

When he had said that, you looked up to him completely shocked. “What? No he isn’t…”

Javi nodded to confirm. “Yeah, he is. Come on, (Y/N). You’re the only person besides his kids that he checks up on constantly. Always worrying. The overbearing protectiveness. I mean he obviously has some feelings for you.”

You never really thought about it but now that you were, it was strange the way David would act around you. So strange it could come off as he had feelings for you.

You groaned and rubbed your temples in annoyance. “Oh no…”

Javi laughed as he had not expected that reaction. “What? You don’t like my brother?”

“Please. David is not anywhere near my type.”

“So what is your type?”

You saw how eager Javi was to know which made you thump his head with your thumb. “Not you.”

Though you were lying. Although Javi maybe wasn’t your ideal type, you sure wouldn’t complain if you had rode into the sunset with him. He was smart, handsome, emotionally intelligent while also having a sense of humor.

Javi looked back to his clipboard. “How do you want me to do the rations this week.”

“I say we stop doing those. They already get 3 meals a day without labor. A lot of them aren’t seeing the use of even working. If they want any extra food, they have to work harder. We’re giving out food and wasting it when we really don’t have to.”

Javi nodded. “That makes sense…how do you think David will feel about it though?”

“Not great when he finds out the rules also apply to his kids.” You say. “Look I love Mariana and Gabe but they’re old enough not to get any special treatment. The only one that is getting any special treatment is AJ and that’s only because he’s still a toddler.”

“Hey, I got your back if he says anything.”

“He shouldn’t. It was his stupid idea for me to be leader anyway.”

Javi hated when you spoke badly about yourself. After all the hard things you had to do, you didn’t deserve that. He gently grabbed your hand which made you look at him. “It wasn’t stupid. You’re a great leader. You’re the only one willing to make the hard calls.”

You sighed a little. “That’s what I hate about this. Help me up.”

Javi stood up on his feet first. Then he helped you slowly get up. You were groaning in pain. “I can get a wheelchair from the hospital you know?”

You hit his shoulder lightly. “Stop talking stupid.”

You tried to walk but the minute you did, your legs gave out from the pain. Luckily Javi was fast and caught you before you fell. “You are so stubborn.” He said to you.

He handed you his clipboard. You looked at him confused but took it. He then picked you up bridal style.

“Javi!” You gasped out in shock.

“Which way?” Javi asked, ignoring your shout.

You shook your head before pointing. “To the left…by the way you’re aren’t cool for doing this.”

“I think I’m very cool.”

The next day, Javi made sure to prepare himself. He was going to confess his feelings for you. He honestly didn’t think it would go bad. Whether you accepted him or rejected him, he wasn’t like Kate or David. If all he could do was be your friend then he would be just that.

It was early in the morning. Breakfast time which meant the community was in the dining hall eating.

He knew that usually at this time you were in your office by yourself so he made his way towards the room.

The door was wide open and there he saw David. It appeared to be that the two of you were arguing.

“My kids need food, (Y/N) and are used to eating the rations. Making the rule apply to them won’t help anything.”

“I hate to break it to you David, but they are not kids anymore. Far from it. If the people figure out you and your family get special treatment then I’m the one that gets all the angry people in this group at me. Not you, me.”

“This is stupid!”

Javi decided to make himself known. He walked into the office while looking at his brother. “David, Mariana and Gabe are both capable of going without the rations. They gotta work for it like everyone else.“

David turned to his brother in pure anger. He shoved Javi in the chest. “Stay out of it.”

You pushed yourself in between the two and faced David. “You just don’t want him in it because he’s the only one on my side.”

“I don’t want him involved because last time I checked, I was your second in command - not him. What the hell do you care for anyway? He’s pretty much useless.”

Javi wasn’t fazed at all by David’s comment as he was used to his behavior. You didn’t like it. Not at all. Javi saw your expression turn sad. You took a couple steps back from David. “Then maybe you shouldn’t be second in command anymore should you?”

David’s eyes widened at this. “Wait no. Come on, (Y/N). You don’t mean that.”

“Everywhere I go, you’re breathing over my shoulder and you’re suffocating me. And then the way you treat your brother just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

“I don’t treat him like anything! I-“

David went to grab your hands but you quickly pushed them away and continued your rant. “And then you’re always mad all the time. Mad at me.”

“I’m mad at you because I love you.”

Silence. Neither Javi nor you were expecting that. You didn’t even think David himself was expecting himself to say that. Javi was just thinking if he should just walk out the the room slowly and leave the two of your alone at this point.

“I don’t love you.”

Javi saw the expression on David’s face. It was hurt. A hurt he had never seen on his face. The type of hurt that was heart breaking. If David was capable of tears, Javi bet that David would be crying by now.

David held his head down as he walked out the office. You waited until he was completely gone before shutting the office door.

“That was…rough…” Javi said breaking the silence.

You sighed, rubbing your head. You felt a headache come in quick. “I can’t keep doing this with him. Walking on eggshells at every turn. I mean I know I’m not the best with emotions but at least I don’t spaze out on people every five minutes. It’s just…too much.”

It was pretty hard having a brother like David but Javi always made sure to not give into the hate and always have hope for him. “His brain isn’t wired how ours is. It’s like…you’re driving at 30 miles per hour. All the time. You’re safe and cautious of your surroundings. With him? He’s driving at 90. Full foot on the gas and not even bothering to hit the break…until he’s about to crash…and then it’s too late.”

You looked at Javi curiously. “Why do you do that? Your brother treats you like shit every single day and you defend him without blinking an eye.”

Javi walked over towards you before leaning on your desk right next to you. “Because…it’s just not worth it. Him being mad at me…me being mad at him…it’s a never ending cycle and I don’t want to partake in any of that.”

You nodded at him before sitting on top of your desk. “I don’t ever miss the old world exactly. I just missed what we could do in it….like eat a pizza, or go laser tagging, or watch tv…or get married…”

When you mentioned the last part, Javi turned to look at you interested. “Married? You wanted that?”

“I know it sounds corny but…I wanted a marriage and a kid…I wanted to have a family because well…I didn’t quite get that during my childhood.”

It made Javi a little upset that all the things you wished for, you couldn’t have because of the apocalypse. But then again, he was sort of glad this all happened because he probably wouldn’t have met you.

Javi looked at the ring on his finger before taking it off. He stood directly in front of you, grabbing your left hand. “I always thought that the marriage thing was for my brother.” You watched as he carefully slid the ring on your ring finger. “But I guess when you really love someone, the idea to you isn’t so crazy.”

You caught on to his confession and you were surprised. Javi chuckled at your surprise but didn’t take it as rejection. “Oh come on, mi amor. You had to of known I at least liked you a little.”

He didn’t wait for your response. He leaned down and kissed you. When Javi kissed you, you felt safe. Like it was home.

You brought your hand to cup the back of his neck. He kissed you lovingly. Like he had loved you for a century.

His lips were like cotton candy. Soft and delicious. His hands were rough but felt so good going along your thigh.

Javi moaned in your mouth when you gripped his hair. He felt your other hand reach the belt of his pants and when he felt that you were about to undo it, he stopped.

He placed his hand over yours while resting his forehead on yours. “You still haven’t healed yet.” He said, reminding you of your wound on your stomach.

You giggled. “What? Are you trying to say that thing can hurt me?”

“Maybe…” Javi gave you a sweet kiss on the lips before sighing. “David is going to be so pissed at me.”

You made Javi look you in the eye. “Stop worrying about what he wants. Worry about what you want.”

Javi always put everything he’d ever wanted to the side because of his brother’s jealousy and insecurities. He was done doing that. He didn’t want to keep living the life of pleasing him.

He just wanted you.

“How do we tell him?”

You shrugged. “It’s not ours to tell. You don’t owe him anything, Javi.”

Javi felt you press your lips onto his and suddenly he was back to his safe home.

The only thing was that the blinds to the window was opened and someone saw the two of you.

It took a lot for David to be heartbroken. He was a strong man. Not just physically but emotionally. He barely felt sadness. Just anger but he was tired of feeling it.

He should’ve known you didn’t feel the same way. Why would you? He was the guy always mad at the world. Who would want to be with someone like that? It was the reason Kate left.

First his first wife, then Kate, and now you.

He couldn’t catch a break.

David couldn’t sleep as the guilt was surfacing. Everyone he did or has ever done just wasn’t washing away. Not this time.

He was sitting at the kitchen table, just staring off with his thoughts.

That was until there was a knock on the door.

David peaked up from his seat. It had to of been ten at night. Who would come to him at the ungodly hour? Maybe you?

He stood before walking over to the door. He opened it and there he saw Kate. Someone he hadn’t expected.

“Kate…are you okay? Why are you here so late?”

Kate looked the same. Heartbroken as well but he couldn’t really put a finger on why she was. She didn’t give him another word before pushing herself inside his house.

“Okay…” David closed the door to his house and looked back at Kate who had her back turned to him. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

He heard her breathe in and out like she was trying not to cry. “I need to tell you the truth. The reason why I actually broke things off.”

“The truth?” David was confused. Was what she told him before not the truth? “Why are you just now telling me?”

“Because you need to know. You deserve it.”

There was something about her voice that made it seem like she was more so doing it for her and not him but regardless it was late at night and he couldn’t care less. “Kate it’s done and over with. Whatever it was…I don’t even care anymore.”

“It’s Javi.”

It was like she knew that would spark his attention. His eyes widened and he took steps towards her. “What do you mean by that?”

Kate sighed and turned to face him. “When me and him were on the road with the kids for so long…I really saw a different side to him. Not the same one obsessed with gambling and laying on your couch hoping for the next bag of money to roll in. I saw someone who was brave, and protective, and over all one of the best people I’ve ever met. I fell in love with him.”

David bit his lip. The same way he tried to control his temper with you, he was trying to control it now. “What? My brother? Are you serious Kate?!”

“I know…I know…it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t feel the same way. It’s just…I thought you should know.”

David cared but only a little. He wasn’t in love with Kate anymore. There wasn’t really anything for him to be mad at. “I can’t believe this..”

Kate looked into his eyes before stepping forward. “There’s something else…I know you care about, (Y/N).” Before David could get in a word, Kate held her hand up. “Let me finish. I know you do…but there’s something you should know so you don’t get caught off guard…I saw her and Javi kissing. I think they’re together now.”

David stood there, completely in shock. He would have never imagined it’d be you. That you’d fall for a guy like Javi. A guy that was his brother.

He couldn’t imagine Javi even having any feelings for you. He was just in shock.

Kate knew him too well and knew what was coming next. “I just thought you should know…” She opened the door to the house before leaving, closing it behind her.

It was at that point David grabbed a vase and smashed it into the wall.

There was no controlling his temper anymore. Not even you.

A/N : part 2???

#twdg #javier garcia #Javier Garcia X reader #twdg x reader #x reader #lee everett #clementine twdg #twdg fanfic

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 2 months

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Was Javier Garcia "not bisexual enough" in ANF?

I feel like everyone reading the title of this essay is going to say, "Well, yeah? Obviously? Javi didn't show any interest in men outside of that one optional moment of flirting with Jesus and then he was confirmed bisexual by one of the writers after the season ended. If they wanted to make him bi, they should've done more with it because that's not enough."

That's a commonly expressed opinion no matter where you look, and it's not like it's unfounded, either.

On a surface level, I agree. While I understand the excitement of learning a character is canonically bi, in the case of Javier Garcia it still feels like celebrating crumbs tossed to us by Telltale after they had their cake and ate it, too. They snuck in some bisexual representation at the last minute for queer audiences without it being explicit so the homophobes wouldn't throw a tantrum.

Stuff like that happens. Sometimes the representation is subtle or implied in the subtext. Or, the queerness is condensed into something digestible and sanitized for straight audiences. Or, it's stated after the fact with little to no actual evidence to support it in canon.

Hell, even if it is obvious, like with Clementine being bisexual in TFS, you still have biphobes who will die on the hill of denial. Even now, in the year 2024, we have people insisting "Clem being bi came out of nowhere! They should've showed it in earlier seasons if they wanted it to make sense. I'm not homophobic but here's my essay PROVING that violentine is bad and forced and that Clem isn't bi!" Or, on the other extreme, "Clementine is a lesbian to me, bisexuality isn't real :)"

But I've already talked about Clementine and what her bisexuality means to me. I want to talk about Javier now.

He's an interesting case, both in the way his queerness was handled and portrayed in the game, and how audiences received it... as in, a lot of people said, "That's great and all, but is it really representation when it's not actually present? It's not enough."

That. That right there: "It's not enough." That's what I want to break down and examine.

Is Javier Garcia not valid as a queer character because he didn't reach this concept of "enough" in the eyes of the player? But what would have been "enough" then? Do people really understand what they're asking for when they discuss what they think Telltale should've done? Does it actually matter if Javier is queer when it comes to the plot and his journey as the protagonist, and if it doesn't matter, is that okay?

Should we just accept these crumbs sprinkled in our hands?

I want to make it clear that I'm but one bisexual examining a bisexual character and doing an analysis. I've climbed out of my bog to write this because I want to discuss Javier and the writing as it pertains to his queerness, or lack thereof. I'm also aware that I'm not providing any irrefutable, concrete evidence here one way or the other; I'm speculating about Javier through a queer lens. I encourage any other bi, pan, or other queer person to add to these discussion points, whether in agreement or not.

Prior to TFS, the queer representation in TWDG wasn't great...

Though the games do get progressively gayer as the seasons go on. And some even get to live! Progress!

S1 had... uh, none? Wait, is that right? ...Yeah, no, I'm tuning my gay radio and it isn't picking up any signals, Captain. Nothing gay in these waters.

S2 had Walter and Matthew, who both died shortly after being introduced. There's some homoerotic undertones between Luke and Nick but nothing was ever confirmed. Also, they both died, so... not great.

The Michonne mini-series had Jonas and Zachary, but Zachary will always die no matter what. Jonas can die, too, but it's determinant. Paige was confirmed to be queer by the writers, though. Uh, progress? Kind of? Not really, it's never talked about and you only pick up on her feelings for Sam if you squint and pay close attention. But hey, at least she got to live!

Then, in ANF we have Javier, our playable protagonist, and Paul "Jesus" Monroe, a gay character who also showed up in the comics and TV show. Would'ja look at that, they both got to live! I should also mention nothing was ever confirmed about Ava but... c'mon, y'know? Captain, there's a faint signal on my radio; when you know, you know. Except she died, to, so... still not great.

Then came TFS, who really said, "Screw you, here's all the gay!"

They gave us bisexual Clementine with both of her romance routes. Violet, Minerva, James, mentions of his past boyfriend, Charlie... Aasim was planned to be bisexual and I don't see why we can't reclaim that for him, and one day I'll crawl out of my bog to write my analysis on the queer-coding/subtext of Louis' character because if I read "lmao Louis is such a Straight" one more time, I'm going to let the gators take a bite out of me just so that I can feel something other than irritation for once.

Sigh. It's so hard being a "Louis ain't straight" truther out here, so few understand.

My plights aside, there's no avoiding the queerness of TFS. Even if your Clementine doesn't romance anyone, or romances Louis, you can't avoid the fact that Violet and Minerva were girlfriends at one point. It's determinant if James will tell you about Charlie, but that doesn't change the fact that James is gay.

But it runs deeper than that. This is a story about these troubled youth who were abandoned by their families and teachers, the ones who were supposed to love and help them, because "something was wrong with them, they did something bad... they need fixing."

These young people have to fight against an oppressive group of adults looking to steal their autonomy, change them, mold them into what's expected to survive. Their identities don't matter to the raiders. All the raiders care about is erasing such identities so that they fall in line and obey, and if they don't comply, they die... or worse.

Yes, it's a story about Clementine and AJ finally finding a home, but no matter how you play, it's also a narrative steeped in queer themes and subtext. You can tell that the people who made it not only cared about these things and wanted them weaved throughout the story, but that some of them were queer themselves.

But where does that leave us with Javier?

With everything TFS did, it's easy to look back at ANF with a critical eye and pinpoint its flaws in every aspect. While I don't believe it's the worst game Telltale ever made [I mean, Minecraft Story Mode exists], in my opinion, it's the messiest game in the main series. It's not bad, but I'd much rather play S1 or TFS.

For all the criticism it received, most players did like Javier as the playable protagonist. Well, they did once they got over the fact that Clementine wouldn't be taking on that role again, and was instead relegated to only being playable in flashbacks.

Javi's personality can vary depending on player choices, but for the most part, he's a charismatic man who loves his family. He used to be a professional baseball player before he was booted from the league for gambling. He can be cocky and sarcastic, and it usually lands him in trouble. He tends to cope and deflect using humor. He has a past of being irresponsible and selfish; he wasn't even there when his father died, despite knowing he was dying of cancer. His relationship with David is complicated, only made messier if he and Kate end up together. He's trying his best... for the most part. Javi even ends up being a father figure to Gabe and Mariana after they all thought David was dead, and he's very open about his grief following Mariana's death.

But given everything we learn about him while playing ANF, how do we know Javi isn't straight? After all, his main love interest is Kate, a woman. He also has opportunities to flirt with Eleanor, another woman. He doesn't show any signs of being attracted to any of the men who are around... until Paul "Jesus" Monroe.

At the end of ep5, Javi and Jesus have a conversation where one of the dialogue options is, "I like you, Jesus." Granted, that doesn't have to mean "like-like;" you can say you like someone without any romantic intentions. Plus, Jesus IS a cool character. Players who picked that option likely weren't thinking of it in a romantic sense.

It's the way that Jesus responds to this option, though: a flirtatious smile, lidded eyes, the deep dip of his voice.

Javier: I gotta admit, man. You're a fucking badass! Jesus: You're a real charmer... You know that? Through and through.

It's not difficult to see Jesus is being flirtatious, and Javi sees it, too. How does he react?

Forgive me, but I'm about to over-analyze this six-second gif. I love his reaction so much. That subtle jump of his shoulders as if a jolt just ran through his gut at the way Jesus lowers his voice. Surprised, and then the movement of the brows, the slide of the eyes, and the little upturn of the mouth says to me "Oh… oh." Caught off guard, perhaps a little bashful.

Option 1: Javier: Oh, you know what they say. Takes one to know one. Jesus: That they do. Option 2: Javier: Are you really sure you don't want to stay? There's room. Jesus: Oh, uh... I'm sure there is, but... we got other people depending on us, Javi. Just the way it is. Option 3: Javier: Meant to tell you... That, uh, armor you got is great. Jesus: Oh... Oh, uh... Hmm... Well, uh... Thanks, um... It gets the job done.

Javi knows what Jesus is getting at regardless of your choice. He understands this is flirtatious, but is startled since he likely didn't consider that Jesus likes men, too. We the audience have a better chance at knowing if, especially those familiar with the character from the comics and the TV show. Javi wouldn't because why would he? It's not like Jesus is obvious and flaunting with the fact that he's gay.

What's funny about that is, given our topic of discussion, we could also argue that Jesus wasn't gay enough, couldn't we? If we're going to pick on Javier for not being more open about his sexuality, then it's only fair that we pick on other characters, no? Did Jesus need to be gayer? Would that improve ANF?

In fact, now that I think about, was James gay enough in TFS? Was one moment where he talks about his boyfriend, a scene that's determinant so not every player got it, enough? What about Minerva? We know she and Violet were girlfriends before Marlon traded her away, that's information that's unavoidable, but did she actually reach this apparent high standard of "enough" in the eyes of the audience?

Are we entitled to unequivocal evidence of queerness, and the heaping amount we deem necessary, otherwise it's not good enough and shouldn't be bothered with at all? Are more casual displays of queerness bad?

I can already hear people jumping to defend James and Minerva, and likely Jesus, against this because "it's totally different!"

Sure. Javier's situation is different from James, Jesus, and Minerva's respective situations. James actually uses the word boyfriend and he keeps a picture of him and Charlie in his pocket. Jesus appears in The Walking Dead universe outside of the game with more evidence of queerness. Minerva's past relationship with Violet is made clear even when you don't pursue Violet's route, not to mention the underlying metaphor of conversion with her being changed/brainwashed/traumatized by the raiders to be just like them.

Javier is different because that scene with Jesus is the only in-game evidence of his queerness, right? Then he had to be confirmed as bisexual by one of the writers once ANF ended.

Surely, they could've brought up the fact that Javier's bi earlier, right? Made mentions of a past boyfriend, or had a flashback about Javi coming out to his family? Why only let him flirt with Kate and Eleanor? Why wasn't there an option to flirt with Tripp, or some other male character? What about a darker turn where David didn't accept Javi for it? David's portrayed as an antagonist, anyway, why not toss a little homophobia into the mix? Why not reveal it if Javi rejects Kate? What if Kate was so hurt by the rejection that she asked him, "It's true, David was right. It's because you like men, isn't it?"

It feels like they decided at the last minute to just toss it in, like someone walked into Telltale one day and said, "Y'all, I just thought of the funniest thing- Javi should be bi so that we can make jokes about him swinging both ways!" And then everyone clapped.

Here's the deal: Something about this sits differently with me, and that's probably thanks to one of ANF's writers, Adam Esquenazi Douglas.

He's the one that confirmed Javier as bisexual.

Adam had his hand in writing for 4/5 episodes, and he said he wrote the scene where Javi can flirt back with Jesus, but it's that last line of his: "After all, they always say write what you know."

I don't know how many of you who are reading this are writers, or creators in general, but I assume many of you are. It doesn't matter if you write fanfiction, create fanart, write essay posts or headcanons or whatever. I have a firm belief that creative people pour so much of themselves into their work that, if given enough material and studied enough, you can get a glimpse of their soul. Even if done unintentionally, we project ourselves into these works; the characters, themes, conclusions, everything.

Am I suggesting that Adam was secretly a bisexual mastermind who threaded queerness throughout the entirety of ANF and we were all too blind to see it? No, and if he did, then he needs to step forward and tell me so that I can study ANF frame by frame to compile the secret evidence into a new essay.

...Actually, on second thought, maybe don't do that to me, Adam.

My point is, yes, it's true that it's likely Javi being bi was added in at the last minute... but can we really dismiss Javier as "not bisexual enough" when Adam had influence over Javi's character throughout the whole season? And I ask again: is the casual queerness of Javier bad?

Time to speculate and answer some of those questions about Javier

Let's talk about Kate for a minute. She is Javier's main love interest, whether you choose to accept her feelings or not, so she can give us a good point of reference for what Javi looks for in a partner.

Kate and Javi share a similar sense of humor that bounces well between the two. Kate wants to travel, Javi's well traveled from his time as a profession baseball player. They both exist in this space of "we're kind of the family screw up." Granted, Javi's more in it than Kate is, but you can see parts of her that come through where she's a little rebellious, a little not good enough [ironically]. They both feel trapped in their situations; Kate in her marriage, Javi in a slow downward spiral of not knowing what to do with himself now that he's booted from his career. They have complicated relationships with David, and together, they've raised Gabe and Mariana through the years after they believed David was dead.

They're a lot alike in many ways, so this is hardly an opposites attract type of romance.

What's interesting is if you then look at Jesus, he has some similar qualities to Kate; a sense of humor even when things are looking bleak, they to help and protect people, are willing to throw themselves in danger to save Richmond. Then if you add Eleanor, the other person Javi has some flirtatious dialogue with, you can apply those qualities to her, as well... though the big difference with her is Eleanor sells the group out because she wants to stay.

With the little information we have, we can speculate on Javi's preferences. He prefers someone more similar to him. I know, I know, everyone loves a good opposites attract tale, they're so different but similar at their cores, they fill in each other's gaps, yada yada... except not everyone is like that, obviously.

My working theory is that a partner who would act as the opposite of Javi would be someone who acts like David... and does Javi really want to date someone like his brother? Though that then opens up a whole can of worms since if Javi and Kate are so similar, and David married Kate... this isn't an essay about David, but that's certainly a thing to chew on.

With that, I suppose we can answer the question, "But if Javi's bi, why didn't he flirt with any men prior to Jesus?"

What men?

No, seriously, where are all these men Javi's supposed to flirt with? Are they hiding? I know you hid them in the game, Adam, where are they?

Wait, do you mean Tripp?

I don't want to step on the toes of any Javi/Tripp shippers out there, but let's actually think about this. When we meet Tripp, Javi's just been separated from his family. He was knocked out and tied up by these assholes who caught him siphoning their gas, then this teenager cut down a tree which resulted in him getting into a car accident. Said teenager then tried to rob him before agreeing to escort him back to his family but first, they gotta go to Prescott. I wouldn't say Javier's in the flirtatious mood by the time he meets Tripp.

But he can flirt with Eleanor, right?

So, why not Tripp?

Because Tripp is a man and he has feelings for Eleanor. That's made quite clear from ep1. He told Javi that he and Eleanor had a thing once. Sure, Javi could still harmlessly flirt with him, but have we stopped to consider that Javi isn't as confident with openly flirting with men like he is women? After all, who initiated the actual flirting between him and Jesus in ep5? That would be Jesus, and it happens after the danger is over and Javi doesn't have to worry about dying for a little bit.

Listen, I understand that Tripp is big. He's built like the lumberjack of our dreams. He has a nice beard. He's not afraid to talk about his feelings even when he fumbles all over them. He's strong and caring and brave. He could easily toss me over his shoulder like I'm a sack of flour and then throw me across the room... what's not to love? Surely, if Javi actually liked men, he would've made a move on Tripp at some point.

Except, would he? Is Tripp even Javi's type? Because I'm pressing X to doubt.

Also, why does he need to?

This is where I question why some people think Javi has to flirt with a bunch of men to "prove" he's bisexual? I'm sorry, do you believe there's a quota all bisexuals have to meet to maintain their membership card? You have to flirt with this many genders a month otherwise they'll revoke your premium status?

Sometimes I wonder if people unintentionally lean into the "promiscuous bisexual" stereotype, or if they do genuinely believe that bisexuals have to express interest in multiple people of different genders in order to prove themselves queer enough.

Did we ever stop to think that Javi's just not like that? An open flirt, I mean. Yeah he's charismatic and funny and all that, but Kate, Eleanor, and Jesus all initiate the romantic dialogue with him first; Kate tells him she needs to get laid hint hint, Eleanor calls him pretty, and Jesus calls him a real charmer.

Tripp never gives him any indication that he's interested or that he even likes men, so why would Javi make a move?

As for any other man? Again, what men? Max? Dr. Lingard? Clint? Conrad? And forget adding a new character to ANF; it could barely handle the characters it already had and you want to add a new one just for Javier? Let's face it, Tripp was the best option and that's just it, he wasn't an option.

"But my Javi WOULD flirt with Tripp and the game didn't give me the option!"

And there it is.

Javier isn't your OC

ANF isn't a massive RPG where starting a new game brings you to a character creation menu, and you get to decide every factor about the character you want to play.

ANF is an episodic, point-and-click Telltale game, and Javier isn't your OC. Like with Lee and Clementine, there are some things you just don't get a say in, and I think that gets to the player sometimes.

When I sit down to play a Dragon Age game, I go into it knowing that my character is mine, I get to decide who they are and who they're interested in. DA as an RPG has the capacity to give me a bunch of romantic options both in and out of my party that shape who my character is.

When I sit down to play TWDG, I go into it knowing that while I have my own Lee, Clementine, and Javi, I didn't create them but I am influencing who they become. I know it's a Telltale game, and that means limitations.

These games have always had the "illusion of choice" criticism chucked at them from the beginning. Usually that pertains to the choices you make that affect the overall story, but ultimately don't matter in the end.

For example, it doesn't matter if you save Carley or Doug because no matter what, they both die. My counter-argument for this has always been that the choice does matter in the way that it shapes your playable character, and how if affects the characters around you. A Lee who saved Doug over Carley had reasons for making that choice, and in turn, has a different experience going forward than a player who chose to save Carley.

Does it matter who shoots Duck in the woods after he's bitten? Or if he's left to turn? No matter what, he's going to die, so is that the illusion of choice? I don't believe so, because it does matter. It affects player experience.

That being said, I believe players who become invested in this series, especially those who engage in fandom, develop a warped sense of what should've been, forgetting the nature of a Telltale game. I know this because that's the foundation my blog was built on.

Javier Garcia isn't a blank slate. You didn't create him. He had a life before the start of the game, he has a personality that you didn't choose for him, and there are things you have no control over. If anything, we act as an influence over the TWDG playable protagonists. Most every option given is something that could reasonably play into their character. I say "most" because we all remember that [GLASS HIM] moment where Javi tells David that Kate's going to leave him and we were all like "THAT'S NOT WHAT I THOUGHT THAT OPTION WAS!" and it felt out of character.

Anyway, you don't dictate who these characters are but you get sway over the direction they take.

Javi can be a real prick to everyone, but that plays into the selfish and entitled part established with his character from the beginning. You can play him as genuine, trying to step up and do better for the sake of his family, another thing brought up from the very beginning.

"But why couldn't I make Javi flirt with Trip!?"

Because it's not an option. I don't know what else to tell you. I don't know what you want me to tell you.

ANF is a Telltale game that centers about Javier Garcia. It's a story about a man who, prior to the outbreak, screwed up and was wasting his life away. His relationship to his family sat upon a rocky foundation, crumbled by his own hands. He wasn't even there when his father died. We follow this man through a story of a family trying to survive, we watch him reunite with his brother and risk losing everything that kept him grounded and going. He experiences grief and anger and sorrow and happiness. In the end, he comes out of it all a different man, for better or worse.

That man just also happened to be bisexual.

And that's the thing: This isn't a story about Javier's sexuality. He isn't going around making moves on these elusive men that mastermind Adam Esquenazi Douglas maybe hid in the game somewhere because the game isn't about Javi liking men.

It's a game about his complicated relationships with Kate and David made messy by Kate being in love with him, and whether or not Javi loves her, too.

It's about Javi helping Clementine back on her path after she's been alone and bitter for so long. It's about them fighting to take down a group of people doing really shitty things to other communities. It's about losing Mariana and avenging her by killing the man who shot her. It's about Gabe feeling conflicted about his father, a man he always wanted to be just like, after realizing that David isn't this idealized figure Gabe thought he was.

It's about the promise Javi made to his father.

The fact that Javi happens to be bi doesn't matter in the grand scheme of the plot. It's just something that's apart of who he is, but because it's a small detail we feel was added in at the last minute, we decide it's not enough.

But what if it is enough? Do we even truly know what this concept of "enough" is?

Throughout writing this piece, I've found myself in a loop.

I'm happy Javier is bisexual. -> But should I be? -> We shouldn't settle for crumbs, we deserve more explicit representation. -> But is there really anything wrong with casual representation where the story doesn't focus on sexuality? It doesn't take away from other stories that do. -> I'm happy Javier is bisexual. -> But should I be?

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Queer stories are important and our voices need to be heard. We need stories that don't shy away from experiences that are hard to stomach. We need queer stories told by queer people. We need stories that are unapologetic, that aren't afraid to face their audience with pride. Stories that don't say "yeah but we have to bend a little to the bigots to maximize our profits." We need these stories that inspire us, hurt us, make us cry and piss us off. We need queer stories with happy endings that give us hope, that push us to seek a better future so that new generations of queer people don't feel alone in their struggles. We need queer stories that make us feel heard, seen.

Do stories with casual representation of queer characters fit in there somewhere, too? I think they do, because TFS is a casual representation story.

Clementine is bi and it isn't a big deal; she never has a moment where she's openly questioning, she doesn't have this big coming-out scene, there's no tears shed or anything. She isn't stomping around with her bi pride flag and announcing who she is with a heartwarming speech.

She just is.

Same thing with Violet. She never comes out to Clementine as a lesbian, no one ever calls her that, she just is.

Clementine's romance with Violet is treated just as it is with Louis, sincere and normal. No one questions her or Violet because to the Ericson crew, it is normal. They knew Violet and Minerva were together before but no one has any quips about it, positive or negative.

If you romance Violet but then save Louis, he makes mention that Clementine and Violet are close so why save him? But Louis, for as much as people side eye him for making jokes and never taking anything seriously, doesn't say anything more. He could've made a joke, "Ah, you like girls, I guess I never stood a chance then, haha." He doesn't, because it's not something out of the ordinary for him and it's not something he feels the need to pry over.

If you go fishing with Violet and Brody, you find the carved heart with Violet and Minerva's initials and AJ asks what it means. Clementine can tell him they were girlfriends, and AJ doesn't go, "Oh, that's weird," or "Huh, I didn't know girls could like each other." He just goes, "Oh. Love." and moves on because he grew up differently, it isn't a big deal to.

Even the antagonists aren't out here spewing homophobia, at least that I recall.

The Ericson crew are a generation that understands and accepts. Where Clementine could end up with either Louis or Violet and no one will raise a brow, or even feel compelled to signal their alliance like, "Ah, yes, I am accepting of you and your choice, good for you, I am an ally, I'm making this about me."

The Final Season of TWDG is great, and it proves that the writers at Telltale at the time wanted to explore these topics earnestly. It wasn't pandering or trying to score "woke points" with the LGBTQ+ community like some bigots will insist. If it were, it would've been way more obvious about it, I think.

Casual queer stories or serious stories that tackle the hardships of being gay?

Like the bisexual I am, I like both and everything in between.

Clementine didn't need to prove her bisexuality as "enough" in TFS, but since the circumstances were different, did Javier?

I'm going to take the potentially controversial road and say no. I understand why we wish they did more, and I understand why people have frustrations over creators dropping that information without actually having to commit in their work... but I also have some appreciation for the casual reveal of Javi being bi, regardless of why it was dropped.

Javier is valid. He didn't need to "prove" anything.

In a way, I believe we do have some control over the portrayal of Javier, and that's by engaging in fandom. If you were disappointed that Javi's queerness wasn't explored in game, then find a fic that does explore that side of him, or write your own. Engage with other people and their work about it. Comment on fanart, fics, and thought pieces. Write brain dumps. Find other Javi/Tripp shippers and prove me wrong, prove that Tripp is indeed Javi's type and have fun while doing it.

Telltale gave us the crumbs, so let that inspire us to bake a cake.

I don't think this concept of "not enough" is the most productive way we could go about discussing topics like this. Not everyone has the same level or standard, and every work is a unique case. But I think it is fun and productive to share ideas of what we would've done differently so that it may inspire us.

ANF, for all of its flaws, could be a tool used to teach us where our priorities are in storytelling, and influence what we want to create ourselves.

In conclusion: Javier Garcia is enough to me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to crawl back to my bog and begin research into the meaning and metaphors behind walkers and their existence.

But before that, I want to give a big thank you to @pi-creates for making the Javi gif used in this essay, as well as for listening to all my bullshit during the writing process.

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