#Johnny Mactavish
Gaz: I don’t get it. Why would anyone want to harm Soap?
Graves: Maybe because they met him?
Gaz: …
Ghost: …
Price: …
Graves: Did I say that out loud?
Ghost: Laswell, I need an airstrike.
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shadow0-1 · 2 days
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tropes-and-tales · 21 hours
Dyin' for a Taste
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Day 11:  Face Sitting (Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x F!Reader)
(For the 2023 Kinktober event that I created on my own because I am boring and basic and am trying to keep it simple this year...found here!) 
CW:  Idiots in love; pining; smut (oral, f!receiving; PiV, protected); 18+ only.
Word Count:  4096
AN:  This was requested by an anonymous person!
AN2: When I say this is not edited, please know it is NOT EDITED. Full of typos and sloppy typing. Tropes is a fat-fingered old crone.
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It starts with a joke.
The 141 is on a covert ops in the mountains.  It’s cold—the sort of cold that burns, that makes the bones ache.  You’re posted up in a perch, your sniper’s rifle at the ready if shit goes south.  The rest of the team is in the square below, waiting for the drop.
“My bollacks are gonna freeze off,” Soap complains over the comms, and you snort at the whining tone in his soft Scottish brogue. 
“Shoulda dressed for the weather,” you reply.  “Ghost probably has a spare balaclava.”
“And cover this handsome face?”
“Won’t be so handsome when your nose turns black from frostbite.”
You hear the tsch noise he makes over the comms, the very Soap, very Scottish noise of dismissal. 
“You’ll have to sit on my face then, hen, and warm me back up,” he says.
You’re rarely stunned into silence—you and the guys are always making off-color jokes—but when you open your mouth to reply, you only gape wordlessly.  The silence over the comms grows, expands, until Gaz—fucking Gaz—chimes in.
“I think she’s into the idea, bruv.”
And you can’t respond to that fast enough either, which leaves another long beat of silence over the comms, which likely seems like enough of an answer.
The mission goes smoothly.  The team splits up as planned to avoid drawing attention.  You don’t see Soap again until a few days later when you regroup at HQ.
You think, perhaps, that he’s forgotten.  Maybe that’d be better.  You and Soap get along well, and sometimes he flirts with you, but he flirts with everyone.  It means nothing. 
And yet…
And yet, it’s Soap.  You might be able to lie to others, but you can’t lie to yourself:  you’ve spent many a lonely night with your thoughts drifting to him.  Turning him over and over in your mind. 
Soap MacTavish.  Handsome, almost unbearably so.  He could be a cocky asshole, be the sort of man who knows he’s hot and be insufferable about it, but he’s gregarious.  Friendly.  He’s a happy-go-lucky sort of man—or as much as someone in the One-Four-One can be.
“Been avoiding me.”
It’s a statement, not a question.  Soap corners you in the mess hall, his blue eyes peering at you without guile.  He looks almost concerned.
“I haven’t,” you reply.  You try to shift past him, but he puts a hand out against the doorway, bars you with his arm.
“You have.”  He peers at you closer, his blue eyes somber.  “What’s wrong?”
“Why would anything be wrong?”
You thought, perhaps, that he’d forgotten…but those somber eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles, then smooth out as he schools his expression.
“Maybe you think my offer was wrong,” he says.
“I never said that.”  You duck under his arm, but he lays his hand on your shoulder and stills you again.
“You’ve never said anything about it.”  You don’t look at him, but you hear his gentle snort of laughter.  “Your silence is deafening.”
You feel your face start to heat up because he’s not wrong.  Too much time has passed now to address that moment in the mountains.  You should have said something then, spat out some rejoinder to signal that it meant nothing to you, that it was just another dumb joke between you and Soap.  But something about that dumb joke conjures up the mental image of you and Soap, and your face burns in embarrassment.
So you duck from his light grip on your shoulder and it makes him laugh again, then call out to your retreating form, “the offer still stands, hen.”
A month passes, then another.  You get leave for a few weeks and go someplace warm, a beach with golden sand and soft breezes where you can relax and forget the horrors of what you see every day.
Then you’re back on base, then another mission.  Over and over, the same routine.
Through it all:  Soap MacTavish, the team’s Golden Retriever.  Always with an easy grin on his handsome face, a laugh, a joke.  He teases Ghost, he does a passable impression of Captain Price.  He gives Gaz a hard time about their rival rugby teams, but it’s always good-natured. 
He jokes with you, but that joke—the one about sitting on his face—becomes just a joke between the two of you.  You don’t know if the other men have forgotten it, but Soap only brings it up when you’re alone now.
At the barracks, in the rec room, he’s sprawled out on the couch and half-dozing, half-watching a rugby match.  When you walk past, he notices, sits up.  Beckons you over, tells you to have a seat…then thoughtfully strokes his face with that damned smirk and comically waggling eyebrows.
“You’re a jackass,” you call out as you leave the room, but by now, it makes you laugh…and it lightly stokes that ever-burning flame low in your belly.
Another time, he sidles up to you at the range as you study your targets with their tight formation of bullet holes.  He points out one shot, high in the corner of the paper, off of the concentric circles of the bullseye.
“Missed one,” he says.
You scoff.  “One out of….many.”
He matches your scoff with one of his own.  “Might be losing your edge.”
“I’m not.”  You know he’s winding you up, but that missed shot galls you. 
“Maybe you’re stressed out.”
You set the target down on the wooden railing.  “Maybe you’re stressing me out, MacTavish.”
It’s the wrong thing to say.  His blue eyes light up in glee, and he only gets out the first part of his retort—You know what’s good for de-stressing—before you drop to one knee and start disassembling your sniper rifle, ducking your head and hiding your burning cheeks from him.
“…nothing wrong with it,” he finishes as you shut the rifle’s case, and you realize you’ve missed part of what he’s said.
“There isn’t,” you agree.  You stand up and lean a bit on the courage that sees you through each mission.  You look him square in the eye and add, “but you’re just flirting.”
He gazes back at you, a soft smile on his face, only a little teasing.  “Not just flirting.”
“Sure.”  You roll your eyes.
He makes his Soap-branded tsch sound, then he loops his arm around your shoulders to pull you in close.  He smells like…well, he smells like soap, clean with a hint of something herbal.  It’s nothing he hasn’t done a hundred times—in safe houses after a mission, walking out of a bar on a night out with the team—that companionable way he pulls you against him.
“It makes me sad when you don’t believe me, hen,” he chuckles, and it’s low, right by your ear, his warm breath fanning over you. 
You’re not sure what spurs your next move.  You’re a natural-born sniper; you take the measure of everything around you—the curve of the earth, the speed and direction of the wind—before you squeeze your trigger.  You’re the same with people, cautious and feeling out every angle of their intentions before you make a move.  But you know Soap, and the question around his joke is the only uncertainty.
Something makes you act without much thought.  Your rifle case in your hand, your other hand tucked in your pocket, and Soap’s arm slung around your shoulders…the moment is crystalized, will be an easy memory to recall in the years to come because this is when everything between the two of you changes.
“You know what?” you ask, and you don’t allow him to hazard a guess.  Instead, you gaze at him levelly, straight into those bright blue eyes of his and add, “alright, let’s do this.”
It’s comical, how the smile drops from his face, how his mouth makes a little “oh” of surprise.  His eyes scan your face, quick, like he’s trying to find the joke, trying to find proof you’re just having a laugh at his expense.
“Bonnie,” he starts to say, and his voice has a rough edge to it.  His voice is missing its usual teasing edge, and he pauses to study you.  You don’t know if he realizes it, but the tip of his tongue darts out, licks against his lower lip, like he’s really thinking of it now that it could be a reality.
“Bonnie, are you just…are ye fer real?”  His voice is lower and his accent gets thicker, and it sets a frisson of heat shimmering through your lower belly.
You refuse to blink.  Refuse to look away.  “I’m for real if you are.”
“I was never joking about that.”
“Then I’m not joking either.”  You swing your rifle case towards the barracks, playing at bravery but willing the fluttery feeling in your stomach to calm.  “So let’s go.”
Soap—gregarious, convivial Soap—says nothing else on the walk back.  He keeps his arm around your shoulders, though, and his hand settles against your bicep, rubs you briskly before gently holding you there, like he’s proving to himself that you’re real, that the moment is really happening.
Your nerve wobbles a little when you get back to quarters.  Soap’s nerves must have a similar wobble, because he turns to you and his usual boyish grin is gone, replaced by a grave expression.
“You dinnae have to do this,” he says, “if you don’t want to.”
Part of you wants to back out, chuck him in the arm and say it was just a joke.  You could still back out.  Soap is flirty and gregarious, but hooking up would irrevocably change your easy relationship with him.  It could change the tenor of the team.  And yet…
…don’t you both face death every day?  Don’t you see the absolute worst of humanity?  Don’t your bodies bear the scars of your hard, unrelenting lives—countless scars, visible and invisible both?  Don’t you all operate in your own bubbles of loneliness, sleeping alone night after night but crowded out by the ghosts you all haul around?
Is it too much to ask for even a moment of connection, of not feeling alone?
You gaze back at him.  Sweet Johnny MacTavish.  Handsome but not vain, smart but not aloof, funny without being cruel about his teasing.  Is there anyone you’d rather be with?
“I want to do this,” you tell him, and there’s no hesitation in your tone.  “If you do.  If you really were just joking around, then no harm, Johnny.”
His somber gaze softens at your use of his real name.  “Wasn’t joking at all.”  Then he opens the door to his quarters and turns to you, invites you in with a sweep of his hand, and when you walk past him, he lays his palm on your lower back to guide you.
In truth, you’ve never actually sat on anyone’s face.  It’s one of those funny sex acts that you joke around about but have never gotten around to, like sixty-nine (always seemed more complicated than necessary) or food-play (always seemed too messy). 
Soap, it turns out, has never actually had his face sat on.
And it’s adorable, how he sheepishly runs his hand through the longer stripe of his short-shorn hair and admits as much.
“Figured it cannae be that complicated though,” he says.  He huffs out a breath, and you realize how nervous he must be, and it gives you courage to take charge.
“Kiss me first.  Then we can figure it out from there.”
The tame command makes his face light up and he murmurs, “yes, ma’am” in his brogue, and then he does as you say.
If Soap MacTavish is generally the team’s Golden Retriever, bouncing around with a wagging tail, he kisses with far more finesse.  He cups your face gently, reverently and leans forward, brushes the lightest of kisses against your lips like he’s testing the waters.  Like he’s waiting for you to pull away, and when you don’t, he kisses you again.
It’s awkward at first, but only because you’re both so tentative.  It’s uncharted territory.  He must be aware that you’re crossing a line in doing this, you think, and he must not care either.  But the awkwardness melts away quickly because Soap is a damned good kisser, skilled in how he moves his mouth against yours, his tongue against yours.  One of his hands stays on your face, cupping you gently and steering you, but the other hand touches your waist, your hip, slides around to squeeze your ass gently before returning to the dip of your waist.
He tastes like something warm and spicy, like cinnamon or nutmeg.  Everything about him is warm, really:  the way he cups your face but runs his thumb over your cheekbone, the way his other hand holds you steady as he kisses you.  And the way he looks at you when he breaks the kiss, the almost-shy way he tugs at the hem of your shirt and asks if he can take it off.
He’s warm too—his body, his skin as you bare it with each article of clothing shed.  You strip each other in tandem, and the sight of him leaves you breathless.  He’s like something carved by a Renaissance sculptor, but when you smooth your palms over the dips and swells of his muscles, you find that he’s warm to the touch, wonderfully so, and a wave of lust almost takes you out at the knees by how much you want to feel his body against yours, under you or on top of you, every inch of you pressed against him.
Soap must feel the same way about you—he touches you just as gently as before, almost reverent, but his goddamned eyes practically shine when he looks at you, then groans out, “fuck, but you’re stunning, hen.”
He maneuvers you both towards the bed, and then he stretches out across it, and this is precisely why your sexual repertoire has always been lacking:  when a brutally handsome man is stretched out in front of you like a damned buffet, your mind singularly focuses on one thing, and you rarely remember that there’s other, more adventuresome things you could do.
You’re already turned on.  Ever since the two of you walked back from the range, you’ve been on a low simmer of lust, and the desire has ratcheted up with each kiss, with each little grumbling groan of Soap’s, with each sweep of his big warm hands along your body.
So you’re already turned on, so why sit on his face when his beautiful cock—perfectly sized for you, the ruddy tip already leaking precum—is also an option?
And Soap is no dummy.  He must guess at your internal battle because he says your name softly, pulls your gaze back to his face where he smiles that brilliant Soap-smile at you.
“Alright then?” he asks.  He pats his upper chest.  “You can sit right here, to start.”
It hits you all at once how intimate this is.  Fucking, hooking up—that’s one thing.  But sitting on your teammate’s face feels like you’re taking a further step into the unknown.  Oral sex, to you, is already more intimate than regular ol’ intercourse, but sitting on his face feels…even more intimate.  There’s a lot of trust on both ends:  he has to trust you not to hurt him, not to put too much weight or force on his face or neck.  And you have to trust him too, since you’re basically smothering him you with your pussy, and many men are precious little babies about eating pussy.
“I could just…”  You trail off and gesture vaguely at where his erection strains and bobs against his belly, and Soap snorts before he replies, “we could do both, hen.”
When you don’t say anything, when you don’t move, he adds, “c’mon, sweet girl.  I’m dyin’ for a taste of ye.”
The accent is unfair, you decide.  The accent is not fighting fair.  Soap’s Scottish brogue is charming in the best of times, but his bedroom version is thicker, at a slightly lower register, and it’s entirely unfair.  It easily dismantles the rest of your meager defenses, so you nod and then kneel on the bed.  But when you start to awkwardly clamor on top of him, he stills you for a beat and taps his mouth, says, “give me a kiss first.”
And the kiss is unfair too because it reminds you that it’s just Soap, one of your dearest teammates, a man who often holds your life in his hands and whose life you hold in your own.  His now-familiar taste of spicy warmth on your tongue, and his lips curving in a smile against yours when he whispers, “climb on up, hen  Don’t keep me waitin’ anymore.”
There’s no sexy way to climb on top of him.  Do you just kneel by his chest and throw a leg over him?  Do you straddle him lower and scoot up?  You split the difference, try to straddle him on his lower chest and scoot up, but then his one arm gets pinned.  Any other man?  It might be a deal-breaker being so clumsy, but Soap laughs underneath you—a genuine belly-laugh full of warmth that makes you giggle too.  He wrangles his arm free, then lays both hands on your hips and guides you the rest of the way.
This is unbearable intimate too, being so exposed to his bright blue-eyed gaze. You probably have tons of issues around previous men who didn’t eat pussy, who were grossed out by it, but Soap’s eyes practically glitter black with how blown his pupils are.  His face rarely hides its emotions very well (he’s a shitty poker player), and there’s no disgust in his expression at all.  There’s only desire, naked and apparent.
“Tell me,” he says, and his voice is a low growl that sends that frisson of heat straight to your core.  “Tell me what is working for you, yeah?  Don’t go quiet on me.”
You nod, and you wish you could think of something cool or funny to say, but Soap lifts his head a little and presses a plush, open-mouthed kiss to the inside of one thigh, then the other, where both are splayed in front of him, and before you can even beat yourself up for failing to think of something cool or funny, his mouth is on you in earnest.
Soap, a damned good kisser.  It translates to this, his skilled tongue and lips licking at you, suckling at you, swirling against you before he breaks up the pattern with an outright kiss, then resumes his routine.  He traces the tip of his tongue around the firm bud of your clit, the perfect amount of pressure before he snakes it lower, lapping at the arousal leaking from your entrance.  He’s unabashed about it, groans against your feverish skin, and you love him in this moment—love that he wasn’t joking after all, love that he had led you here, where you sit perched on him while he feasts on your cunt and seems to genuinely enjoy it as he does. 
Any other position, you’d lean down and kiss him, or pull him to you and kiss him.  Now, as he groans against you again, you reach down and run your fingers through the longer stripe in his hair.  He must like that, because he groans a third time, and his grip on your hips spasms tighter.
You remember what he asked of you, so when he purses his lips and suckles against your clit, you gasp out a startled “oh!” but then add, “fuck, Johnny.  Just like t-that.”
“Good?”  It comes out muffled against you, and he pauses his mouth long enough to gaze up at you with a smile.
“So good.”  You shift your hand, cup his stubbled chin slick with your arousal—a gentle movement that makes his smile soften too. 
“Like when you call me Johnny, hen.”  Now he sounds a little shy, like he’s edging close to something beyond a random hookup with face-sitting.
“Keep using your mouth like that and I’ll call you Johnny all the time,” you tease.
“Deal.”  And then he’s on you again, laving your sensitive folds with his tongue, his bit of stubble raising a warm burn against your inner thighs.  His hands on your hips pull you closer, and he encourages the slow, careful rhythm when you start to actually ride his face—a languid back-and-forth, mindful of his need for oxygen, while he eats your pussy with the fervor of a starving man.
Your orgasm approaches faster than you thought; you thought you might have to fake it, since you rarely come from oral alone.  But there’s something about this position.  You feel powerful in a benign way, in charge, but mindful of the man underneath you.  You run your fingers through his hair and Soap preens at the touch, just as he preens when you pant out praise for him, tell him how good you feel. How good he is making you feel.
He must sense it because his grip tightens on your hips, but his tongue moves faster and focuses solely on your clit—teasing with the tip of his tongue, then laving it with the flat of his tongue, then wrapping his lips around it and sucking.
“F-fuck,” you choke out.  “Johnny…fuck…I’m gonna…” but you don’t finish the sentence, you keen out a garble of nonsense as you come.
The heat in your belly pools over, spills over in a brilliant wash that courses through your veins, into your trembling legs and up through your body, makes your vision shimmer and crackle with sparks.  Your heartbeat, your panting breath are loud in your own ears, and you hear Soap groan but he sounds faraway.  He teases your orgasm, prolongs it by licking against you until you grip his hair tighter and hold his head still while you clumsily dismount, then flop gracelessly onto the bed beside him.
You feel boneless.  You feel heavy, sleepy, like you could sink into the mattress and sleep for days.  You close your eyes and feel the bed shift, and Soap disappears for a moment.  You hear running water—he must be cleaning his face, you think—but then the mattress dips again and he’s curling his warm body around yours, wrapping his arms around you as he pulls you to him, then settles the blanket over both of you.
“Good, yeah?”
You laugh.  “Yeah, that was good.  Especially for someone who’s never done it before.”  A beat.  “Give me a moment to catch my breath and then I can help you out.”
Soap chuckles above you, and you feel him press his lips to your forehead before settling again.  “No need.”
“But I—”
“Already came.”
The gears in your head turn slow when you’re sated from sex.  Coming makes you stupid.  “Huh?  When?”
Another chuckle, another kiss to your head.  “When I was eating you, hen.”
You turn your head and try to peer up at him.  He looks comfortable and sleepy too, content and sated.  “Seriously?”
“Wait, seriously?”
“Told ye I was dyin’ for a taste.”  He shifts a little, pulls you closer to him.  He tugs the blanket more securely around your shoulders.  “If ye want a second round, I’ll need a few minutes.”
You appraise the situation:  the warm scent of Soap, the feel of his naked body pressed to yours, the warm little cocoon he’s created here in his bed.  Of course you want a second round, but you’re sleepy too, and the thought of sleeping with Soap doesn’t seem nearly as terrifying as it might have seemed before he had his mouth on your pussy.
“Or we could sleep,” you offer.
“Sleep,” he agrees.  “Round two tomorrow.”
The doubts from earlier start to surface in your mind, but they seem tiny and inconsequential when you’re wrapped up in Soap’s arms.  You feel sleep tugging at you—he’s already asleep, you think, breathing deep and even against you—so you chance to brush your lips against the bit of him you can reach and whisper good night to him.
But he’s not quite completely asleep yet because he kisses you back, another press of his lips against your head, and he whispers back, “g’night, hen.”
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simonrillleyyysss · 2 days
short headcanons, writers block went heavy :((
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you first met a bar—he fell first, and then fell harder again—! head over heels the first time he spotted you :3 watching you glance over at simon, he shooed the blonde away and immediately got to work on a pickup line, watching you roll your eyes as he offered to buy you a drink—ended up with him drunkly babbling and slurring, and you beating him in pool;night ended with him getting your number!
messaged you later that week, clarifying who you were!! immediately became a regular thing, chatting back and forth—during his deployments mainly! your official, first date was to a cutesy little café :3
you kissed him first. he became obsessed and had to bite his knuckle after
dating wise; he is OBSESSED WITH YOU. huge himbo energy, need something done! he’s doing it and smiling afterwards as you pat his head, he’s so helpful yet so silly and dumb around you— just babbling contently about his day as you do your thick eyeliner!
lets you teach him about the different types of goths, romantic, traditional—he is so invested! sitting with you in your room and listening to faint sound of siouxsie and the banshees play in the back; grooming at his mohawk!
he tells everyone he meets about you; is so proud he pulled you!
nicknames? crow, bat, mama hen, sugartits!
he’s head over heels, you brush him off! jade west energy?? clueless young man falls inlove with disinterested, confused alternative kid, he loves that you ignore him; that’s why he keeps going. he takes it as a challenge!
let’s u pierce his ears for him! feels super edgy afterwards :3 flexes them!
tattooartist!soap?? definitely tattoos his name onto you, little bat beside it !! loves watching you gawk at the tattoo in awe! kissing him afterwards for his hard work!! he is just there to please. that’s all.
if reader is tall?? BYE!!! he loves if you wear heels or boots which also increase your height, he’s (fairly) tall, so when you have to lean down slightly to kiss his cheek it makes him swoon!! but he’ll always try to bulk you out, and he will. never gets embarassed if you’re taller than him, he’s not insecure.
black cat reader, golden retriever soap.
he listens to punk music, he’s definitely a punk—so he lets you listen to his music, and vice versa! let’s you listen to dead kennedys with him in the car, and you let him listen to bahaus in the bedroom! loves that you’re different, loves his freaky chick.
you let him help you with your makeup, applying the pale makeup onto your face, helping him do your eyeliner afterwards—telling him how thick you want it, and to contour your nose with eyeshadow after!
TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR PIERCINGS!!! let him touch them and ask how much they hurt, let him ask you why, let him kiss them after
please ruffle his mohawk and call him your puppy. he’s melting into you and babbling dumbly, the scotsman clinging onto you like a koala!! he’s just jdididkdm!
nsfw next?
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yawnderu · 2 days
''Are you excited to see me or is this an entire thermobaric flash bang grenade in your pants?'' You cheeks puff up as you try to hold in your laughter, looking at the very obvious bulge on Johnny's ass. It started as a drunken joke; you telling him his clothes are so tight he wouldn't be able to conceal carry— and him proving you right.
''Aye, hen— waitin' for the right time to pull it out.'' You take a deep breath as you keep trying to hold in your laughter, cheeks heating up at the effort it takes.
''Yeah? When's the right time to pull it out, Johnny?'' You manage to ask and he shoots you a cheeky grin.
''When it's time to flash or bang, lassie.'' You can't hold it in anymore, exploding into a fit of laughter that sounds more like a pack of hyenas invading the base.
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summoningflames · 2 days
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another album cover redraw let’s go
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deathblossomm · 5 hours
Some pictures of young Neil
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alwaysshallow · 1 day
Lol soap also the type to slip and trip at the wine/ceramics section and break everything on the shelf 💸
i wouldn't be myself if i wouldn't drag fake dating soap into this......
could happen at your first week of fake dating, and you think you're gonna kill him. like, fucking hell, he's real this time? breaking everything on the shelf at wine section? it's gonna be expensive, and he's gonna probably throw a tantrum, you think.
maybe he would, but he just laughs. it's not the first time, certainly not the last and seeing your horrified look is making him even more amused LMAOOO
you find out that he's rich-rich when he casually slides his credit card and pays for other groceries too; he asks if you need anything at this "fancy dress shop" you always liked. you need a dress for his parents' arrival, don't you?
against popular opinion, he is quite smart with saving money. knows how to invest, so he's gonna spend the majority of it at what he wants to, and that's on ladies. that's on you. it's kinda ironic because he always insisted on eating at your place, so you thought his money is kinda short. you never questioned it, until now.
and when you ask why he didn't paid for young actress or something, to act like his girlfriend, he scoffs. offended. "ye think 'm gonna act in love with someone that i dinnae know? lassie, thought yer smarter than this." and then he slaps your ass, playfully, when you wash the dishes.
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wordstome · 13 hours
I just found the only way I'm going to write Soap in love from here on out. (Not written by me, based off the source under the cut)
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Soap: Let me just start by saying there is no other place I would rather be in the entire world than right here with you right now. His love interest, bemused: Hey, Johnny. Soap: Can't you see I'm just completely taken by it. Like, I've never known a feeling like this. S/o: You're full of shit, Johnny. Soap: Oh, I've never let myself be so vulnerable with someone before, it feels amazing. S/o: You are a lot, dude. Soap, leaning across the table with a wide ass grin: God, would I be good to ya. S/o: Yeah? Soap: Oh I'd be good to ya like crazy. S/o: How good? Soap: Like you wake up in the mornin'? I'm right there bein' good to ya. Soap: When are you gonna let me take you out for some dinner? S/o: *lighthearted* I don't date sluts. Soap: My God are you good lookin'. I know I may come off as a real devil-may-care kind of guy, but we both know you'd run my show. S/o: Yeah? How so? Soap: I'd take a header off Forth Bridge just to brush arms wi' ya. S/o: Oh? Soap: I'd take a drink out the Tay just to hold your purse. S/o, laughing: Yeah? Soap: I'd sit my bare ass on hot concrete just to have you flick some debris off my shirt I swear to God I'd be so good to ya. Soap: Hey why don't I go home and dip us some fruit in chocolate for later? S/o: *smiling* Sensing some blood in the water, huh. Soap: I hope you know I've been watching YouTube tutorials on how to rub your feet good. S/o: You going in for the kill? Soap: Oh you give me a moment I'll make it last a lifetime, I swear to God I'd be so good to ya.
(For anyone wondering: this is from the show Shoresy, which is a spin-off of Letterkenny, a show about a town in rural Ontario, Canada [that’s where the accent is from]. Letterkenny started off as a YouTube show and has gone viral on Tumblr a few times)
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witchthewriter · 2 days
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𝑻𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒘/ 𝑯𝒖𝒔𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑺𝒐𝒂𝒑
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eilidh-eternal · 3 days
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"The gateway to the world, The gun in a trembling hand." - Andrew Hozier-Byrne
Call Time Places! En Pointe Adagio 1st Intermission Chassé Variations 2nd Intermission Développé Coda Curtain Call
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Soap: These chips are too hot. I can’t eat them.
Ghost: You’re too hot and I still eat yo-
Price: One dinner. JUST ONE DINNER.
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colonelarr0w · 2 days
"This job is about making sacrifices for the greater good."
"Simon? What's goin' on? Everything okay?" your groggy voice pinches his heart as he listens to it. He hadn't meant to wake you, but at the same time, you needed to know.
"Sorry for wakin' you," he apologizes quickly, hoping that the urgency in his voice is hidden from you. But, as always, you pick up on it, always in tune with the emotions of those around you.
He can hear the rustle of your sheets as you sit up on the other side of the phone, now alert and completely awake.
"Don't apologize for that, what's going on?" you ask firmly, your voice taking on that motherly tone that Simon could only ever associate with you. He had heard it so many times, and in the past, he would have chuckled dryly at its use.
But now he truly felt like he was in trouble; like a son scared of his irritated mother.
Would a son be the one to tell his mother that her husband died?
"The - uh - last mission went south. Johnny is-"
The sound of his voice trailing off makes your blood run cold. Johnny was...what? Missing? Injured?
Was Johnny dead?
"Johnny's what? Simon, you have ten seconds to finish your sentence or I swear," you say as firmly as you can, though both you and Simon could hear the slight waver of your voice. You're struggling to hold it together, just as he is.
There's an uncomfortable pause, filled only with the light sounds of Simon breathing on the other end of the phone.
"Johnny's gone."
It's so simplistic, so blunt. The sentence cuts through the otherwise tense silence that hangs over both you and Simon. Your lips part, and yet your words fail you. Your vocal cords are suddenly tied, knotted together in a grotesque display of keeping you silent.
Simon can feel his heart clench in his chest at just how weak you sound. Gone is the woman who brought others up when they were at their worst, gone is the woman who was stronger than anyone else that Simon had ever known. She's replaced now with what she truly is at heart; a little girl in love.
"I'm sorry (Y/N)," Simon says softly, his voice trying its best to soothe you over the phone. But you've long since tuned out his voice, along with any sounds that may surround you.
Everything is a low buzz in your ears. Nothing sounds real, nothing feels real. You feel alone, more alone than you've ever felt before. And suddenly you’re aware of just how alone you truly are.
Slowly, you take the phone away from your ear, thumb pressing the red disconnect button, not listening to Simon’s pleas for you to remain on the line. You knew that he wanted to comfort you, but comfort was the last thing that you wanted at that moment.
You turn your phone over, eyes trying their hardest to not glimpse at the lockscreen that reminds you of everything that you had lost. You don’t want to see his smile, you don’t want to see his eyes; you don’t want to remember what his face looks like.
Your knees curl to your chest, neck craning so that your forehead presses against your pajama bottoms. You can't find it in you to cry, not yet anyway. Maybe tomorrow, when the news finally sinks in and the realization that Johnny really isn’t coming home finally clicks together in your mind.
Or maybe you’d never cry. Maybe you’d live in denial and continue to wait for Johnny to return home like a dog, standing just behind the door and watching as people walked up and down the block. Maybe you’d simply vanish, leaving behind an empty home for Simon to find and mourn the losses of the MacTavish’s; one dead and one heartbroken.
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thatgoblin · 2 days
I want Simon as a sugar daddy. Price and Gaz would be all 'I want to see you in the things I buy you.' And like that's fine, and while I am a Price lover at heart, I know Simon would whole heartedly accept my feralness. We are plantonic boyfriend and goblin. He is my care taker that puts me on a kids leash, like the little teddybear back pack, and let's me out so I can have enrichment.
How do I know this? Because Johnny is a goblin. He has that vibe and we are the same. Both goblins and Simon just collects them.
I'm not wrong.
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Actual picture of me, Simon, and Johnny out for a walk.
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rookiesbookies · 2 days
Soap x Reader
A little dabble from the folds of my brain, Fiancé!Soap comes home with a surprise, he’s a helpless romantic, light smut(?)
“Bonnie, come’ere!”
“Coming hun!”
“You’re gonna be soon,” Soap mumbled, adjusting how he was sitting on the bed before playing nervously with his engagement ring as he glanced around the rose petals in the room.
You had just gotten home from work, Soap had gotten home from deployment 3 hours earlier but insisted you stay at work. He said he had a surprise to prepare.
He heard the thud of your bags, and counted the steps to the door of the padding of your feet - assuming you had kicked off your shoes by your bags. Exactly 12 and a half steps and you were there in the door.
“What’s all this? It isn’t even our anniversary.” You giggled.
“Well, ya see lass, I got mighty drunk with my boys on deployment and had a wonderful idea. I already gave you my heart and my soul with our rings here, but I figured there was one last thing I needed to swear to you.” He stood up eagerly and turned away, dropping his boxers and pumping his dick a few times to make sure it was fully at attention.
“Ta-da! What do ya think?”
You couldn’t help the gasp or the following giggled that escaped you.
Sprawled down his length read “Property of Y/N”
He put his hands on his hips and stood proudly.
“Simon let you do this? Price didnt ask any questions? Gaz didnt tease you?”
“Well, ‘a’course I got teased when I had my willy all wrapped up for days but it was worth it for you, Bonnie.” He crossed his arms with a proud grin.
“Johnny,” you started, reaching out for what was now deemed your property, “do I gotta sign a leasing agreement?” You asked as you lightly grazed your fingers across it.
Soap shuttered so hard at your feather-like touches he couldn’t focus on laughing at your joke.
“Why don’t I have my people send you to deed instead,” he sighed.
Let me know what you want to see next in comments
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zobeoo · 2 days
soapghost 📝
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I've been thinking about it for a while...
A story where Ghost and Soap give each other a chance to get to know each other better, but every time Ghost tries to take a step forward in the relationship, Soap pulls back because he's afraid of Ghost's reaction to seeing his body and discovering his secret (that Soap is a trans male). Ghost then feels rejected and thinks the relationship isn't progressing, leading him to end things with Soap.
Both are deeply affected by the lack of communication.
I'm not writing this 🏃 I just thought about it and wanted to share.
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