I’m just going to start piling my Ta!au quotes into one post instead of spamming everyone's timeline with it.
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(after a missions, Ash had a nightmare and can’t sleep and neither could Rowan)
Ash: That’s a terrible story.
Rowan: not all of us fight Gods and win, my boy. so take what I have.
Ash:.... tell me how you survived the Dragalge again?
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(later in the Alola timeline-think before Kukui announces the first league)
Ash: You're an asshole, you know that?
Lillie: Mankey see, Mankey do.
Ash: *flashbacks to all the times he’s used the exact phrase* *deep sigh* fair enough.
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(on a simple date after a long stake out mission)
Ash:*tired AF* Are you going to keep looking at me like that or are you actually going to kiss me?
Raihan: Can’t I enjoy looking at my meal before digging into it?
Ash... *tired, flustered and now angry because he’s flustered*
Raihan: *too pleased, the smug bastard* that’s what I thought.
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(after noticing Meowth working at the new malasada truck outside of school, completely ignoring James and Jessie who ignore him in return)
Ash: hey-not here to pick a fight, put your claw’s away-do you know Lillie’s brother?
Meowth: *suspicious but interested* the emo kid?
Ash: yeah.
Meowth:... why?
Ash: would it be insulting to you if I call him a ragged wet Meowth?
Meowth: *instantly relaxing* if you don’t call him that I will.
Ash: *grabbing the malasada's James hands him without making him pay* let’s tag team him then.
Meowth: sounds perfect to me, now get going. you’re holding up the line Twerp.
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(meeting and conversing with Goh and Chloe for the first time)
Goh: my mission is to catch Mew and then go on my first Pokémon journey!
Ash: *bites tongue and thank the legendries he’s where sunglasses to hide his uncontrollable flash of anger*
Chloe: Don’t listen to him-
Goh: Hey!
Chloe: -he’s the dumb one
Ash: *silently already picking favorites* I see.
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(after a prank war)
Gary: does my life truly mean so little to you?
Ash: *w/ neon green hair and permanent marker on his face* YES!
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(on a random Tuesday in Alola)
Ash:*swinging in a hammock with sunglasses and his hat* Are you here to kill me? *slurps annoyingly loud at his drink*
Mewtwo:... no but I’m thinking about it now.
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(after loosing the kids in the forest for a while)
Ash: where have you been!?
Lana: *sopping wet*
Mallow: *beginning of a rash on her lips*
Kiawe:*looks like he got into a fight with something and lost*
Sophocles: *also looks like he got into a fight with something and lost*
Lillie: *covered in flowers with a few Cutiefly buzzing around her*
Lana: I think you already know.
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(Champion meeting in Kalos-Lance is sick and Ash is his second by Orange Isles proxy)
Diantha: You're late. As usual.
Ash: *not high as a kite but not sober either* be happy that I’m even here in the first place.
Rose: it’s really innapro-
Ash&Diantha: not a word out of you.
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(Kiawe and Lillie hanging out with Ash even though he’s cleaning all his knives)
Ash: Put that down! You're like a child.
Kiawe: *pouting and placing down a sheathed knife* I’m a teenager, not a child.
Ash: uh-huh.
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(Ash begrudgingly letting Lana indulge the rain before class one day)
Ash: Well, don't stand there in the rain all day. Come on.
Lana: but I like the rain.
Ash: okay-let me rephrase then so you understand. Don’t make me give you detention-
Lana: *darts on past*
Ash: *smirking and start to trail behind* that’s what I thought.
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(after being trailed by some mercenaries from a Gala)
Rowan: we’re safe now, aren’t we boy?
Ash: *checks around corner of the alleyway they ducked into to loose their trackers* Yeah... yeah I think so old-
Goons: *appearing on the other side of the alleyway* there they are!
Ash&Rowan: *in unison* fuckshitfuckingtitballs-
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(in Hisui)
Ash: I swear it wasn't me.
Cyllene: *annoyed but in a motherly way* now why don’t I believe that?
Ash:.... because I’m your favorite survey member? *Growlith eyes and slight cheeky smile*
Cyllene: get out of my sight.
Ash: *squeaks* yes, Captain!
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(after an intense debrief after a mission going tits-up as Ash was unknowingly stalked by another mercenary)
Gary: Who did you piss off this time?
Ash: *slumping down in a chair next to Gary and the large as computer screens* it’s more like who I haven’t pissed off.
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(after first trimester of finals)
Kukui: *walks into the classroom, see’s Ash blank face and staring at the other doorway where Kukui originally left though*
Ash:
Kukui:
Ash:
Kukui: you gonna keep staring or what?
Ash: *broken out of the strongest dissociation spell in a long time**jumping out of his seat and making a fool of himself while falling down onto the floor* cheese and crackers on balls, you motherfucker-
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