#LET ME BE FREE TO EXPRESS MYSELF | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

your-local-grinning-cat · 8 months

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Comes in with cupcake that taste Che'nya's favourite favor

Hey Che'nya that you are high? But have a cupcake

@best-baker-of-the-heartslabyul

*squints*

TRRrrrrrrreeeeyyYyyyyyyYYyyyyyy……….,,,,….

*looks at cupcake*

*looks at Trey*

*looks at cupcake*

*looks at Trey*

*looks at -*

NO! YOU ARE THE FUN SUCKERRRRRR!!!!!

IT’S A TRICKKKKKKK!!!!! TRICKSY HOBBITSES!!!!

YOU’LL TRY TO UNCATNIP ME!!!!

NooooOOOOOOooooo!!!!!!!!!

I GOT PERMISSION!!!!! MY HIGHNESS GAVE MY PERMISSION!!!! @disgruntled-prince TOLD ME I COULD!!!!!! 😾😾😾😾

LIONS BEAT CLOVERS!!!!!!!

MY HIGHNESS WINS!!!!!!!!!¡¡!!!

*knocks everything Trey has put on the table onto the floor and disappears in a puff of smoke that smells distinctly of catnip*

#nonononononononononono #IM NOT FALLING FOR IT #LET ME BE FREE TO EXPRESS MYSELF #catnipped che’nya #che’nya chats #che’nya grins #twst rp #che’nya rp

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lavenoon · 1 year

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@naffeclipse Look. All I'm saying is that 9ft+ tall security bot deserves to be taken care of, too

*self insert Aster is not a girl (he/she)

og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!

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hplonesomeart · 29 days

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I can’t think of any funny quips to put as description for this one so uh- suppose this time around I’ll just let the art speak for itself lol

Enjoy the daily dose of fanart while it lasts because I can’t quite guarantee I’ll be able to keep up this speed throughout the upcoming month. But I’ll sure try to! Thank you all for the support <3

#guys it’s 12:20am I have school today at 7:45 what am I doing with my time management here jksjsksp #was worth it though #oddly enough I haven’t felt this free to express myself or my appreciation for things in a while it seems #so setting time to just let my art take shape on its own accord and freehand it all without any particular goal in mind is just…#a well needed relaxing break to zone out and create for the sake of it you know?#finally i’m not stressing over deadlines or finalizing to perfect #there’s no pressure or obligation <3 #kinda like a ‘oh yeah I made this and the fact I made it is special enough’#….ah wait maybe it’s the peaceful instrumental Spotify playlist taking effect on me too lol #yeah actually that would make a lot of sense #doodles #smg4 fanart #smg4 doodles #smg4 sketches #leggy smg4 #mario smg4 #mr puzzles smg4 #hplonesome art

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girlatrocity · 2 months

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MAN.

#bnha spoilers #a had no delusions abt her being alive before but saying it out right is differenttt #i just really liked himiko she was my favourite for many many reasons but mostly bc i loved how she reminded me of myself in a weird way #like in a cathartic way idk #she was also taught that her love was like a terrible unnatural evil thing #that should never be seen or expressed #and she never fully realized her capability to love until she finally let herself indulge in it #and thats the thing how she LET herself #and how she wanted to live her life exactly the way she wanted so bad that she didn't care that none of them would love her for it #because she wanted to be free ☹️#and the fact that even after all of that rejection and loathing she still found a place for herself where there was people #who LOVED her and and CARED about her and then eventually ochako who wanted to save her #and it still proves everyone else wrong about himiko #because himiko never had to change or hide those fundamental things about herself to be loved in the end #and i hate that she died #i really do #but her narration of her death scene really hit me bc she's RIGHT #she lived her life exactly the way she wanted to and never got chained down again #and she had people who knew everything she was and loved her not in spite of it #and she's a normal girl #and so am i #UGGGHHUUJHH anyways just wanted to talk i love that girl rip himiko

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kaiserkisser · 1 month

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today is such a stark contrast to yesterday in how much i fucking hate today (vent/rant in tags bc i forgor to do it on my vent one)

#[🔮] rambles ~#lmfao you speak up in this household? WRONG. MISTAKE. HOW DARE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.#expressing your thoughts? fucking blasphemy #“oh you do know you can tell me anything anytime right? ” what a joke #gods #fuck this shit #you know what i need to learn properly? keeping my mouth fucking shut. keeping my thoughts to myself.#why do i even bother #I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING #just you know spoke the truth which is apparently forbidden or smth #its not my fault shes a hypocrite????? cant accept the truth thats her fucking problem #honestly i genuinely cant think of an adult around me who isnt a hypocrite but im sure there hopefully is #and then she comes again all sweet sickly smiles expecting me to shower her with love the next moment after being fucking scolded like hell #for saying ome single fucking line of my thoughts that she so encourages me to “express”#as if everything is my fucking fault #atp i hate myself as much too bc why do i let myself get affected i should have grown used to this shit years ago #i should know better than to let her get to me yet look at me being a sentimental lil bitch #god i just wanna get out of here please #anyways shit this didnt go to my vent blog fuck im sorry yall had to read that guys please feel free to ignore lmao #but yk i had to get my feelings out somewhere bc wwll i bottle up enough already lol #tw vent

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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ཻ۪۪♡.

#i want to learn how to vent healthily #bc i have this incessant pathological need to like share every thought i have #and if i dont i get this restless uneasy feeling in my chest and i get restless and worried and like wtf?#whats wrong w me? maybe it has smth to do w that during my entire life i have never been listened to or been helped #like during my life i've asked for help repeatedly but when i have i've only been dismissed or not believed etc etc #so maybe that translated into my head to just feel the need to share it in a public space.....#bc i used to write rverything in a diary but i filled them too quickly and i cant afford the money or space to do that #so i started using twitter and now tumblr... but that has only resulted in me like feeding into it?#it's not healthy to feel the need to share EVERY thought or else u feel crazy. i also shouldnt focus or dwell on thoughts sm #i do have issues bc of my disorders and anxiety. plus avpd in swedish is literally called 'anxious personality disorder' 💀#so it is in me to be anxious and worried and neurotic #but still i want to learn how to not be fixated on thoughts and feelings (also a challenge bc bpd makes feelings feel all consuming)#if i think smth - that also can be totally untrue and only based on my worries -#i can just think it and let it go. idk have to dwell on it and obsess over it. (im trying mindfulness for years lol)#bc most of my venting is like me getting stuck in feelings and idk why i feel the need to express it constantly?#it isnt worth it. bc actually it has caused rifts and missunderstandings in multiple connections i've had online...#i do feel like venting isnt smth bad.. and i think emotions are PERSONAL and like completely unrelated to truth and other ppl #but i get it.. esp when u only know eo online and dont know everything going on in eo's heads #then u only get that as a full image when it isnt the whole picture #so like idk. i WANT to be able to get a healthier outlook on it.. bc this isnt working #both bc of myself and for myself but also in relation to others #and like. why do i like never see anyone else on thmblr/twitter that post EVERY thought like me???? (i dont think its wrong to do bc *i*#have a different pov on it and idc abt other ppl's vents but .. yeah idk why do i do this but no one else does it at the level i do?#so idk i've just been thinking of this lately bc yeah.. yeah i just dont know i dont know.... :///#i actually want to be able to not ruminate and get stuck in it but idk how to break free?#plus expressing positive emotions & thoughts is terrifying to me like idk why but i cant????#why??? i feel like im undeserving of good things that i cant even express smth nice bc im like .. i dont deserve to think/feel that??

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termagax · 1 year

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i hate to make the cr thing sound like a dumb ship war but they canonically had beauregard confess to being in love with her best friend, the party member she was objectively closest to and had the best chemistry with, to whom she was the turning point for her entire major character arc, and then immediately walked it back to pair them up with the characters they flirted with in episode 1 and had no chemistry with. and then spent the rest of the series making arguably lesbiphobic jokes about it.

#NO CHEMISTRY AND IN JESTERS CASE SHE HAS AN ENTIRE ARC ABOUT HOW SHE DIDNT ACTUALLY WANT TO BE WITH #THE GUY THEY PAIRED HER WITH. LIKE SHE HAD A WHOLE ARC LIKE WOW IM PROJECTING ONTO FJORD BECAUSE I WANT A STORYBOOK #ROMANCE BECAUSE ITS WHAT I BELIEVED I NEEDED TO BE A REAL ADULT WITH A FUFILLING LIFE NOT BECAUSE OF ANYTHING ABOUT HIM #AND WHEN HE RETURNED MY ADVANCES I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE I DONT ACTUALLY WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM #I WONDER WHAT THIS COULD POSSIBLY INDICATE ABOUT MYSELF AND HOW I SEE RELATIONSHIPS. HOW DO I FIND WHAT I REALLY WANT. BEAU YOUR MUSCLES #LOOK REALLY GOOD TODAY. BEAU IM SORRY EVERYONE SAYS YOURE MEAN I DONT THINK YOURE MEAN. BEAU YOURE THE ONLY PERSON I FEEL LIKE IM ALLOWED #TO BE MYSELF AROUND BEAU YOU MAKE ME FEEL FREE TO EXPRESS MESSY EMOTIONS THAT SCARE ME BEAU LETS GET MATCHING TATTOOS #and then. wimp.womp shes back with fjord because for some reason weve decided beaujester isnt a viable endgame option :T

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fisheito · 1 year

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"Who ordered the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen"

-kuya (1956)

#gonna put the fox in silly little outfits because i want him to wear high heels even while rollerskating #fox ears and tail were not planned. i finished the drawing but then he just.#needed the extra uwu factor #me trying to call myself out like #kuya would NOT have that expression. that expression does not look like kuya #kuya would be smiling. he would be killing it. flaunting it #but. i mean. he would also be extremely unimpressed #like he lets eiden have one free fantasy scenario #and it so happens that last night eiden learnt about retro usamerican diners as some flashy themed dining experiment (thanks internet)#so the magic just defaults to this vague combo of rollerskating maid diner #and when kuya sees the setup and the servitude and the general neon hues of it #he has TACKYTACKYTACKY scrolling through his mind but #it's eiden. so he'll see where this goes #tbh the internet. eiden. and kuyas magic. existing in the same realm of possibility is Dangerous #eiden hanging out the side of the car sayin hey lil mama let me survive one more night pls i didnt mean to make u a catgirl burger server #nu carnival eiden #nu carnival kuya

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orcelito · 2 months

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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.

But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.

#speculation nation #and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it #then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day #just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them #but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else #and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself #and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao #why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc #honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year #and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this #bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.

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zoppzoop · 4 months

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GAAHAHHHHH

#venting in the tags #maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much #but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn #im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but #i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me #feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel #like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went #back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening #and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just #crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and #usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better #but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that #plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut #the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad #'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like #shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those #fuck you you bitch #i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep #tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less #ps. note to anyone reading the tags #im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.

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steakout-05 · 5 months

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i was thinking about how it took me a while to figure out i'm aegosexual (which basically means that there's a disconnect between yourself and being the subject of attraction) and i thought about how much i really dislike and just cannot see myself in slash reader fics. i tend to dislike these fics for multiple reasons, but some of them include that the reader self insert is usually really boring, has no personality outside of being lovey dovey and isn't unhinged enough for certain characters for reasons outside of contrasting personalities for my tastes (like spamton for example, why are you writing a normal protagonist to pair with fuckin spamton of all characters). but another reason is that i literally cannot connect myself to the reader self insert. like i cannot imagine myself in their place at all, it's always another stand-in that i imagine instead and thinking about myself in their place makes me uncomfortable. i can't see myself in their place because i don't see myself as a subject of attraction, and i'm repulsed to that idea. so i imagine someone else instead because that's better to me. and also because of the aforementioned reasons that have more to do with the writing of the self insert, i just cannot imagine myself acting the way the self insert does because I Personally Would Not Fucking Do That™. like i would not be romantically kissing a guy on a date, i would be infodumping about my special interests for 3 hours and then start ranting about how funny cars are while he just smiles and nods lmao

this is why i've never really self-shipped with any character. like i can be attracted to them and be like "i wanna hold his hand/kiss him/do inexplicable things to his psyche", but in reality i could never actually see myself as a subject of attraction by this character, so i'd either ship them with another character i like or imagine a sort of stand-in that has some of my traits and lives out my fantasies but still isn't me. i can fall in love but i can never connect because ew that's gross and weird. watching from the sidelines by reading fics and looking at fanart about characters being shipped with others and being intimate with each other is more my cup of tea.

#aegosexual #also i'm not like. sad about this or anything #maybe i'm a little disappointed that i probably won't experience some things but i'm not like. crying about it.#i literally don't care about it and i think i actually prefer it this way #being seen as something arousing is fucking disgusting and weird in a bad way to me and i don't think i should ignore how i feel just to-#-experience something i won't enjoy.#i just want to watch my little fictional men hold each other and kick my legs like an excited schoolboy about it in peace #also unpopular opinion but slash reader fics SUUUUUUCK and i'd rather read something else instead #now let's sit back and watch literally everyone get mad at that opinion lmao #i'm kidding i'm kidding you're obviously free to enjoy slash reader fics #i just find them to be completely unrelatable and i feel like throwing a self insert into the mix kinda ruins the whole dynamic for me #like i just personally find the idea of meddling in that character's life and being their hubby to be very unattractive #especially when the self insert is so barebones that there's no chemistry #we need more slash reader fics that are just an expression of how much the reader admires the character and nothing more i think #idk maybe i just haven't read enough slash reader fics to appreciate them as their own thing disconnected from me but i really just kinda-#-don't like them because the ones i've read were mostly kinda boring..... sorrgy #i always preferred projection anyway #although i do like dating sims. of course i don't attach myself to the MC but i do like them more than reader fics. i wonder why that is.#probably because the MC tends to have more character traits i guess? so then i can just consider them to be a different person-#-and i'm just pressing buttons for them #it's more free and directional i guess

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solvicrafts · 1 year

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trick or treat!

both a treat and a trick because again no candy but yay for silly photos?

I THINK I've mentioned before that I have a Loki cutout? I got him back in... I wanna say 2013. And I decorate him for the holidays.

ALSO HE IS VERY TALL AND I AM *VERY* SHORT

bask in this moment for it is the only one where I will ever upload anything remotely resembling a photo of myself lol

#asks #tumblr trick or treat #everyone come point and laugh about what a NERD I used to be and still am just in a completely different way now #the one time I will ever post a photo of myself online and it's just my forehead and eyes #and Loki looking SUPREMELY disappointed and done with life #like I know it's just the lighting but he looks so TIRED in that pic and it makes me giggle whenever I stumble upon it again #also wow my room looked SO different back then #now I've got murals on the walls and ivy and fairy lights and it legitimately looks like you've walked into an enchanted forest #IT'S SO COLORFUL #it's interesting going down memory lane for me here because I didn't really feel free to express myself so much creatively back then #so my room was boring outside of the Loki cutout and looked very 'normal'#now you walk in and you feel like you're in a Legend of Zelda game because I started just letting loose and going WILD with the decor #the rest of the apartment is fairly normal if a bit messy because of my roommate and pets #then you get into my room and it's like stepping through a portal

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engagemythrusters · 9 months

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[Video description: an instagram reel of a video call between two women and a man. The two women are from Israel. Only one woman does the talking. What they say is being captioned over the video between them (though not entirely accurate). Audio transcription: Woman: People in Gaza need to die! Man, serious: Is that seriously what you think? Woman: I am--I am kill two people Palestinia. Man: I don't believe you did that. Woman: I am in the army. In Israel. Man: Are you actually in the army? Woman: Yes! I--I am in the army, and I (mimics shooting someone, miming with finger guns) boom boom! Two people! Man: Two Palestinians? Woman, emphatic: Yes. Man: And you're happy about it? Woman, excitedly: Yes! Of course! I want to kill more, more more more! Man: The world's going to see your actions. End video description.]

If anyone knows these people, please feel free to expound on that!

#none of my own words needed. she said everything she needed to say to express how disgusting Zionists are.#so. yeah.#free palestine #side note I do know the captions they used on the video is not the same as what I wrote but some of what they were saying was missing #so I just transcribed it myself.#if I shouldn't be doing that for video descriptions and audio transcriptions #please let me know!!#thanks #yes im posting this here bc the wayback machine is NOT letting me upload stuff rn #i think the servers are down?#so. i need it to be archived somewhere and I guess this is the only other place i know. I'll keep trying the wayback machine to see if it's #up again soon

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lesbianlenas · 2 years

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sometimes i go back & read stuff i wrote in my secret little notebooks and i’m like

#michelle speaks #reading from my lyric notebook is like. girl go to therapy 😶#ok it’s funny bc like. at my psych the other day he was like do u have any suicidal or homicidal thoughts #and i was like no! :) which i DONT btw (tho suicidal thoughts….perhaps sometimes)#anyway if he had access to my lyric book he’d b like. well that was a fucking lie!#but like it is true 😭 i don’t have homicidal thoughts i just use certain imagery. as a way 2 express myself.#anyway i would rather someone read my personal journal than my lyric book i mean that.#now when i get a new notebook and have a place for me to write free form poetry #well then. i would die before i let anyone read THAT!#didn’t clarify but the joke there is that everything i write in my lyric book is i’m so sad i want to die OR violence LMAO #see i thought u could all read my mind & new what was in it. thankfully that is not true.

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cosmojjong · 2 years

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#a bit of a gloomy post so feel free to skip #but i noticed myself bottling up grief again and i feel like punching myself in the face #i noticed a pattern of me just repressing and pushing it to the back of my mind more than i did in the past months #i think i had a period of time where i let myself express and feel how much i miss jonghyun more than i do now #i feel like i was a bit more vocal (not necessarily to others in whatever form) and honest about how it felt #but now it's just such a mess in my mind #today was so weird because i took my friend to her workplace and when driving back home i played my jonghyun playlist #and all of a sudden i got very gloomy and started crying my eyes out and couldn't stop #it felt like such a punch to the stomach #i had to stop the car for a little and collect myself because it was just bad #and i felt really scared because i get the feeling i'm going back to the dark place i was in a while ago #i can't tell if it's because december is approaching or if i just have these recurring periods of time where i just cannot bear it #everytime i try to talk about it to my therapist i just freeze #the words get stuck somewhere in the middle and i don't know how many times i've attempted to talk about it and couldn't #i'm just really sad and i don't think pushing the thoughts away will do much #other than just make it pile up within me and then make me blow up like this

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heliopixels · 6 months

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Hmmmmm I need to get out of this house

#I Do Not Want To Be Choked With All My Parents Bullshit By The Time I Can Sustain Myself #ik its an american yhing where people are generally expected to leave their parents place as soon as possible but multigenerational (usually #three) homes are the norm here and my parents are looking to buy a place for ourselves for the first time instead of having to move every #few years and im afab so theyre doubly reluctant to let me go even though ive expressed interest in leaving eventually and i dont think ive #ever said that i genuinely want to live with them forever and i cannot. stay in this house a moment longer than necessary i need to be free #i need to transition i need to get out i need to not be their happy little muslim girl and i need to do necessary things that they dont #agree with #I NEED TO DO SHIT. CANT DO ANYTHING FROM THIS PLACE.

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