#LIKE ?? I gotta catch his streams more I didn’t know that animation existed and I’m so happy I saw it when I went to finish the vod

[sweetest-honeybee]

Casually sobbing

[petri808]

Quarantine memories fic hoarding craze for @thenaluarchive

— thank you to @phoenix-before-the-flame for helping jump start this fic 💜

It was Natsu Dragneel’s absolute favorite time of the day. 1 pm for him, and 8 am for Lucy, his… well, right now they were just online friends separated by distance and priorities. But judging by how he talked about her to friends, you’d never know it. They’d met three years ago on Twitch through a random chat stream about an anime series, and he continued following Lucy on her writing streams. Three years ago, she was a sophomore in college while he was in his senior year. Lucy later moved on to a graduate program, but they stayed in touch, growing close. To Natsu, she wasn’t just some girl online but a real friend he cared very much about. His friends called Lucy his online girlfriend. Pfft. He wished he could call her that.

Roughly two thousand miles away, Lucy Heartfilia was hating life. Her curtains were drawn, and a blanket was pulled over her head to drown out the light. The air conditioner was down to 60 degrees Fahrenheit, working against the low-grade fever and pounding migraine born yesterday. Migraines… the bane of her otherwise healthy existence. It was her fault after all, the temptation of a chocolate dessert knowing full well it was one of her triggers brought on said migraine and all she could do was bear it.

Why?

“Stupid hoarders!” Lucy groaned to herself.

As if dealing with a pandemic wasn’t bad enough, people’s selfish reactions to it were worse. A government agency had claimed that acetaminophen products could help with the virus’s symptoms, so what did people do? Panic buying anything and everything they could find containing that drug! The problem for people like Lucy, is the one over the counter medication that helped with her migraines was Excedrine… an acetaminophen product! And she’d just. run. out.

Lucy’s phone rang and she knew exactly who it could be based on the time. So, she clicked the answer button without opening her eyes.

“Hey, Natsu,” she groaned out.

“Morning Lucy! Oh geez, you sound like a frog.”

“Thanks,” she retorted sarcastically. “I’ve got a migraine.”

“Ouch.” Natsu genuinely flinched. He rarely got headaches, but this wasn’t the first time he’d talked to Lucy when she was going through one, so he knew what she was going through. “The meds aren’t helping?”

Lucy sighed. “I ran out. And did you see the news about all the hoarding? Every store here is bought out. It… sucks.”

“I could check around here and send you any I find,” he offered.

“Aww, that’s sweet of you Natsu, but I don’t wanna trouble you.”

“Pfft. Nonsense. I’m sure you’d do the same for me.”

“Thanks, Natsu. I appreciate it.” Lucy smiled through the pain. There’s a good reason her feelings for the man had grown over the years. His sweet and caring, yet fun and goofy, positive personality was an easy drug to get hooked to.

“Anyway, I gotta get back to work.” Natsu whined. “Good morning again, stay hydrated, and I’ll check on you again when I’m finished for the day, okay Lucy? Get some rest.”

“Have a good day at work Natsu.”

“Will now, after hearing your voice. Talk to you later Luce.”

She giggled softly. “Bye, Natsu.”

Lucy shifted under her blanket as she clicked off the phone to lie on her back. His sexy voice did wonders for her mood despite the pain still ravaging it. Now all she had to do was drag herself out of bed to eat something and drink water. She never had an appetite when she got these migraines, but it was a necessary fuel to fight it. All Lucy had left were extra strength Tylenol, so she could only hope it would at least take the edge off until the migraine ran its course.

Like so many others, this pandemic had really taken a toll on Lucy’s psyche. It’s not as if she went out a lot before it took hold, but just the fact it made going out dangerous brought different emotions to the situation. School had moved online which sucked all its own, she missed casually hanging out with friends on campus, and simply longed for the freedom of leaving her apartment as she pleased. But she understood the precautions of a quarantine. Frankly, she agreed with the city’s efforts to keep them as safe as possible no matter how many grumbled about it. Did it make it easier? No. But it was a necessary evil.

They weren’t completely trapped, could shop for necessities, visit family or friends, just encouraged to limit such gatherings as a safety precaution. If you went out, wear a mask, and just don’t stand too close to other people. Well, unless Lucy knew the person, why would she want strangers in her personal bubble anyway? And the mask thing? Have you ever been out shopping, and someone just sneezes without covering their mouth? Yeah— seriously, would it kill people to use one?! Why were people so selfish during times like this? Not everyone, but too many. Just like with all the hoarding frenzies that swept through cities, it was frustrating and— “Ugh…” being in a pain-driven bad mood was sure bringing her down today.

But despite all the external frustrations, the feelings of isolation from being in a quarantine for months were probably the most mentally exhausting part. It was lonely being so far away from home during a pandemic. Lucy’s been in college for five years and while she’s made friends in the new city, she was starting to crave comfort instead of an empty apartment. Her life online was one of the few things that made her happy, like Natsu’s daily calls, and kept her sane.

Natsu… her face heated up every time she thought about the man. They didn’t have a lot of hobbies in common, but he was always so supportive and made her laugh like no other could. Where they lacked in commonality, was made up in ease of conversation. It hadn’t taken very long for their online chats to feel more like an old friend and less like a faceless stranger. Over the years they’d talked about meeting in person one day after she finished school. It also helped that he was from a city not too far from where she came from, so if she chose to move back it would be convenient. But she also loved the new city she called home. Oh well, Lucy sighed. It was a decision still a couple of years away to make.

The next morning, Lucy woke up to find her migraine had finally given up. She could still feel the little bastard hiding, simmering somewhere ready to strike, but if it stayed mellow, it was something she could tolerate. Throughout the day, Lucy wasted no time in catching up on the homework she couldn’t finish the day before and making sure to stay hydrated with food in her stomach.

Lucy’s phone rang around 2pm.

“Hi Natsu, how was work?”

“Same ole, same ole,” he chuckled. “And how are you? Still feeling, okay?”

“Yeah, it hasn’t come back.”

“That’s great!”

Lucy could hear a lot of background noise, so she asked about it. “Oh, you’re not home yet?”

“Nah, and the commuters are being extra noisy today,” he responded benignly. “Anyway, tonight I won’t have time to talk cause I got a project due for work I need to finish.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Yeah, I’m still catching up from yesterday too and Levy’s dropping by for dinner.”

They chat for a few minutes about their day as Natsu waited for transportation. Lucy knew he used the subway to and from work, but today it sounded a little different, noisier and she swore there were engines instead of the normal train sounds. Maybe it was static. Finally, Lucy caught the muffled words now boarding.

“Shucks, time for me to go,” Natsu cut through. “Sweet dreams Lucy! I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Natsu!”

Lucy spent the afternoon relaxing online, chatting with friends and gaming. Her friend Levy McGarden later dropped by with take-out food for dinner and the two women caught up on random topics while movies droned on the television. They were both in grad school, so during the semester there wasn’t a lot of time to hang out, but they made do. Lucy was also doing a paid internship at a local magazine 4 days out of the week as part of her master’s program. She really enjoyed working there under one of the senior editors. He made it a fun learning experience.

Life was almost perfect except for the background isolation of the pandemic. Lucy was glad she wasn’t one of the individuals affected by jobs cuts, but it still got under her skin to feel trapped in a way. It was nice with her friend over... ‘Maybe I should see if Levy wants to become roommates?’ She wondered as she drifted off to sleep. The apartment would sure feel a lot less empty.

A knock at the door roused Lucy from her sleep. She blinked and yawned, looking at the alarm clock and that said 9 am the next morning. ‘Natsu didn’t call,’ she thought how odd. Maybe he slept in after working late.

Lucy dragged herself out of bed, throwing on a robe to answer the front door. “Gimme a sec,” she called out as she neared it.

“UPS delivery, ma’am.” The male voice responded.

‘UPS?’ Lucy grew confused. She didn’t remember ordering anything through them, but maybe she’d forgotten?

She peaked out of the peep hole, but all she could see was the box being held up. Okay a little weird, but some of the delivery people did that to show they were legitimate service people. Lucy slowly opened the door but kept the chain lock on while peering through the gap. But what she saw next brought on instant tears.

“H-How?” Her voice stammered out as her fingers quickly undid the lock and opened the door wide.

There Natsu stood holding a small brown box, dressed in a uniform of sorts, with a mask hanging under his chin, and wearing a goofy grin.

Lucy snorted a laugh as her eyes crinkled in happiness. “Is that a Halloween costume?”

“Yeah,” his smile widened, and hand scratched his head. “Surprise delivery,” Natsu held out the box, “for Lucy Heartfilia.”

“What is it?” She asked as she took it from him.

“Oh, I um found you Excedrine.”

Lucy opened the box to find 4 bottles. “You certainly did,” she laughed. “But why’d you bring it yourself?”

“It was quicker than the mail and… I hoped…” Natsu’s mannerism grew sheepish and tentative, “it was about time we finally met in person?”

Her face softened with a smile. “It truly is.” Lucy gestured into the apartment. “Please, make yourself at home.”

[worminstuff]

awesamdude x reader

per this request,  “ i forgot to say in my last request: i just recently found sam, so if you could write him i would absolutely adore you (which i already do) if not no hard feelings- anon xo🤍 “ i present to youuu

awesamdude x reader fluff!!!!!

Sam and tubbo are filling in the oshun, having a bit of a q&a when someone asks Sam if he has a girlfriend and someone slips up a lil.....

^^^^^^^

“Oh Tubbo my moms in the chat! Hi mom!” Sam made a quick glance at his stream labs to see his mom had popped in.

“Your mom watches the streams? Pog!” Tubbo let out a airy laugh.

“Yeah my mom is so cool, everyone tell my mom she's cool in chat please. Okay next question, Tubbo do you have one?” Sam finished a row of sand finding his inventory also empty so he made his way over to the chests.

“I think I do Sam, ellewastaken, what do you guys do all day when you're not streaming? Personally I eat and go to school and edit, that's about it” Tubbo smiled and shook his head a bit at his boring schedule.

“Same for me too I guess, we streamers aren't super exciting.” He nodded, agreeing with tubbo, “Chat what are you spamming?” Sam paused what he was doing to try to read the chat that was going incredibly fast. One of his mods, catching his confusion one of his mods dmed him a screenshot of what his mom said in chat that caused the little uproar,

your schedule is not boring anymore with y/n around that's a bit of a lie.

“Mom!” He laughed a tad as he spoke “Mom you've doxed your own son! They don't know about that yet.” He shook his head to himself, she didn't do it on purpose because she had no idea he had yet to mention it to his viewers. Sam wasn't particularly hiding you, there wasn't really a reason to, you didn't post pictures of him or yours faces publicly so that wasn't a problem, he just hadn't gotten around to it yet.

You were sitting across the room quietly like you'd been doing for his streams lately, scrolling through twitter or tiktok or doing some schoolwork just keeping him company. You perked your head up at that though, curious to what she could've said.

“Your mom doxed you? What?!” Tubbo laughed loudly.

“Okay chat relax, relax, y/n is actually my girlfriend,” You sat up completely now, fully listening.

“You've got a girlfriend Sam? That's so cool! Congratulations!” Tubbo smiled wildly, Even his chat was excited for Sam.

“I do! Thank you Tubbo!” he chuckled. “She's awesome, She's here too, she sits with me while I stream so im not lonely, when Tubbos not here of course.” He looked back to you seeing your shocked face, he gave you a small nod and a smile, calming you a bit.

You hadn't given a thought about what it would be like when his audience was aware of your existence.

“merinaxbc asked how long have you and your girlfriend been together, I have a feeling a bunch of these questions are gonna be getting asked around now” He chuckled, “We’ve been together for..5 months? I think? I think im right.” He turned back to look at you, seeing you nodding happily.

“kerilinmemegod asked, does y/n also play Minecraft? Oh its so strange seeing you guys know her name, she does like Minecraft but she mostly likes games like animal crossing. We’ve been playing that a lot lately.”  Him and Tubbo were making their way towards Sam’s base for some more sand and food.

Tubbo and Sam talked about some smp things and things for mcc while they worked, answering a few questions here and there.

“I'm getting a whole lot of questions about y/n now I feel like I should let her answer them. Tubbo do you wanna talk to y/n maybe?” He looked back to you silently asking if you'd be okay with his idea, you gave him a small nod.

“Sure! You should just be glad Tommy's not here.” He giggled.

“I am, I am, okay here she is!” You slid a chair over as he pulled off his headset holding out for you. You situated your chair next to his on the side with his mic, taking his headset from his hand.

“Hello!” You grinned with excitement, You'd known of Tubbo, and you adored him! You thought he was so sweet and you loved listening to him and Sam.

“Hi! Hi Sam’s girlfriend! Its so nice to meet you Sam’s girlfriend!!” You could hear his grin though his voice.

“Hi tubbo! Its nice to meet you too!” You grinned up at your boyfriend as he was smiling towards you shaking his head at how you were practically vibrating in excitement.

“You gotta answer questions, look at these,” He pointed towards his stream labs on one of his monitors. You read through the latest few and decided on one from a minute ago since it was the first one you saw.

“How tall is Sam? tall tall.” Sam defiantly towered over you quite a bit, he loved it to, being able to lift you and hold you so comfortably.

“Is he really?” Tubbo asked

“He’s like..6′5?” you looked towards him, “Close, 6′7.″ he nodded looking at his screen placing sand.

“Surely not! That's huge!” Tubbo looked at his face cam in astonishment.

You laughed, looking towards the stream labs for more questions, “We don't live together, maybe soon though. I am in school! Regular college nothing as smarty pants as him.”

You sat answering questions as they came in, occasionally talking with tubbo in-between.

The entire time Sam was grinning. he adored listening to you talk to his community and one of his best friends, you were so adorable too. You got excited with certain questions, happy to tell stories of you two. He thought you were absolutely perfect, and it seemed like chat did too!

***

there we go! a small bit o sam, hopefully it was alright! it was a lot of fun to write sam, 10/10 will do again:D

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

  °˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

[recurring-polynya]

So I actually finally watched Memories of Nobody. I actually saw it years and years ago, in a theater, for some reason, back in 2008. I had vague memories of being disappointed by it at the time, but we actually enjoyed it on rewatch quite a bit. Some thoughts:

According to my husband, who found it on some shady streaming site, this film takes place “between the Bount arc and the Advance Team arc” which is the 2nd most ass-pulled place to cram some filler, second only the Amagai arc, which takes place in the middle of the Hueco Mundo arc.

Ichigo spends most of the film wearing what I believe are zip-at-the-knee cargo pants, a king

Iba and Ikkaku are 🎶drinking at work🎶

Hitsugaya is so tired.

There’s a scene where Urahara explains a bunch of metaphysics while Tessai sits behind him flipping through a book of (presumably his own?) sketches, exactly like that scene in the Advance Team Arc where Renji and Rukia do this. Notably, Ichigo does not pick on Tessai’s drawing, not even once.

I guess Urahara has some way of extracting Kon’s memories and playing them, like on a tv? W H A T.

ngl the world-building in this movie kinda slaps???

I am obsessed with the fact that it’s not The Valley of Screams, it’s “a valley of screams” and it’s they make is sound like a thing that just happens (although they later back off on that and claim that there must be someone nefarious behind it)

Did I made a “what if we kissed in the valley of screams? j/k... unless...?” joke? You know I did.

There’s a scene where everyone comes to arrest Senna and it’s so ham-fisted and dumb. They sent, like, 3 captains, 2 vice-captains, some ninja, and Rukia and let Renji shout at Ichigo at the top of his lungs. Literally, all they had to do was send Rukia to say “hey, it turns out Senna is the memory crystal we should take her to Soul Society to keep her safe” and Ichigo would have been totally on board. Anyway, this is the dumbest thing that happens is movie, so let’s just move past it.

The Reigai arc sure did rip some beats off this movie

Rukia forces her way into a captains’ meeting while two guards with detaining sticks try to hold her back, this fucking rules. Yamamoto screams at her. Byakuya does not even change facial expressions.

Hey, is this, like a grifting thing? At any given time, you’ve got (1) older, distinguished Kuchiki who never reacts to anything and (1) young, feral Kuchiki who raises ruckuses? And the Kuchiki can use the hothead to start shit and cause trouble while the older one just shakes their head in vague disapproval?

Anyway, someone gave Yamamoto a kidou cannon and he is going to fire it at that valley of screams, ain’t no one gonna stop him now.

It is explicitly stated that firing the kidou cannon will destroy a significant portion of both Soul Society and the Living World but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So you know that animated gif where Renji and Rukia do a sick backflip off a bridge? No one told me they were backflipping into the valley of screams.

My precious husband says “that would make a good animated gif”. “I got you, babe,” I say.

Okay, literally half the Gotei leadership ignores Yamamoto’s orders and goes to the valley of screams.

One thing I do not like about filler/movies is that they are so afraid to do anything new that they just copy the beats of the canon material, which sort of, I dunno, cheapens it. Like, this movie evokes both Rukia and Renji deserting to save Orihime in Hueco Mundo and the captains doing their own shit at the end of the Soul Society arc, and the overall effect is that no one has any respect for Yamamoto, which I don’t think was the point they were trying to make.

They should have let Orihime go to the valley of screams, but she probably would have fixed the problem in 2 seconds

The group of people who go to the valley of screams is perplexing. Mr. P suggested that the reason Soi Fon is here is because she had previously promised to do something with Omaeda (maybe it’s his birthday??) and  was like “oh, shit, sorry man, valley of screams situation came up, catch you next time (i def will not)”

Yoruichi is not in this film. I am assuming she is off being a groupie for the Red Hot Chili Peppers or something.

Hisagi was here for maybe three frames and then did nothing. At least Kira got to release his sword.

Komamura is not here, but he is sort of a Yamamoto simp. We don’t see him hanging out with Ukitake and Kyouraku back at the kidou cannon, tho. Wait. Oh, no. That kidou cannon has gotta be pretty loud. Komamura probably had to go home and put on his thundershirt and hide under the bed.

Soi Fon’s shikai worked??????

RENJI USED ZABIMARU TO CATAPULT ICHIGO OVER SOME ENEMIES TO GO FIGHT THE BOSS!!!! MY HEART!!!!! 🐍💀💪🎇💯😍

I made a bunch of jokes about things Byakuya might be doing (napping, most likely), but then he showed up late and interrupted Rukia’s fight to announce “It is an honor to be slain by my bankai.” Dude, c’mon.

I kinda want to know more about this clan that got done dirty 700 years ago and learned to live in the Dangai like Westley and Buttercup living in the Fire Swamp??

If I had to wander the Dangai, instead of trying to implode the valley of screams and destroy all planes of existence, I would have just made a valley of screams and fixed it up real nice and lived there and not bothered anyone, but that’s just me

Yamamoto has fired the kidou cannon

RIP to Ganryu, you had kind of a cool design, dude, I’m sorry your plan was bad and also that you didn’t get any Vintage Soul Society Flashbacks

I am absolutely perplexed by the end of this film. Despite saving Senna, and being hit with the kidou cannon, the valley of screams is still imploding. Senna stops existing, Ichigo is sad, everyone is saved, it ends with Ichigo seeing a girl who looks like Senna because ???

Who cares! It’s time for Sen no Yoru wo Koete!!!!

Great movie, A+++

[fictional-thoughts]

Poisoned

the mandalorian x fem!reader

warnings: smut, rough messy sex, slight dom/sub elements, sex pollen (dub/con), language, breath-play, fingering, one (1) spank

words: 6k+

a/n: this is genuinely the smuttiest thing i’ve ever written...enjoy

The Mandalorian is walking too fast, he’s gaining speed, leaving her behind in the foggy dark green forest. She’s desperately trying to keep up but her body’s seizing up and trembling and soaked in sweat. His cloak sways behind him and she’s try to not feel dizzy as the tanned colour of it clouds her blurry vision; but the planet is spinning in time with her twisting nerves and white hot muscles.

He’s clumsy, ducking under banches almost too late and his boots catch on thick veiny vines that litter the forest floor. The air smells damp and of pollen, of fluorescent flowers, dripping their sickly sweet scents and luring their prey. Deathly and dark violet the bulbous and puffy flowers hang in thick bunches, taunting the bounty hunter, teasing him with their lavender faces.

He should have known something was wrong. It was too silent. Too dark.

“Wait, wait,” she’s sweating under the thick and flexible armour, it feels as if there’s a million suns spanning the vast sky above her, burning down in fury from the gods. Skins slicked and her underclothes are sticking uncomfortably, melting to her frame. Her hairs a mess, damp and knotted and frizzy with humidity. “Damn it, Mando — somethings wrong.”

Mando nearly freezes in his tracks at her words voice high and broken; fuck, he knew it. She’s got it too, she has be feeling the same, weakened, chest constricted, halting breath in the lungs and skin burning like a forest fire, tongue parched and dry in the mouth, it’s death but only slower.

“What did you say?”

She coughs. The pit of her stomach is pulling towards an unseeable object, ripping through muscles in curling motions, thighs and hands trembling. The forest is so dark and bushy and green and lush she’s having trouble telling what is in front of her, eyes bleary and blinking in and out.

She hears the Mandalorian speak and nearly crash into the brushes under her heavy boots, the hot curls of pain unfurl inside her, a caged animal, clawing to be free and rid of her wretched body.

Something is really wrong.

Her hands find a mossy tree trunk and she’s barely keeping herself up, she’s holding her head in her shaking hand and has got her eyes screwed shut to block out the sight of the Mandalorian pushing his way back through the trees to get back to her, his long rifle catching on the vines and boots thumbing on the ground that seems to sway, a gentle and giant seesaw of lush greenness is the planet, twisting into a thousand vines.

He’s getting closer and it’s all she can do but not scream. Don’t, don’t come any closer.

“You okay?” He grips her forearm tight in his gloved hand and her skin erupts in goosebumps, prickling her skin with an override of electricity. Her mouth drops open as a thousand fluttering beings swarm inside her stomach as he’s connected to her.

“Don’t touch me,” she’s frantic and he’s pulling away from her, his gloved hands raised, almost in defence. Her own clammy hands are pulling at the thick straps and buckles of her armour, it’s too tight and she can’t breathe.

The Mandalorians mind is racing, thinking back to every single second they they’ve been on the godforsaken planet, it’s a slipping of details, they’re all a blur, pieces fell where they shouldn’t be and he’s so confused, why can’t he remember what happened to them? Why does it seem to be affecting her more then it is him?

Then he realizes.

The Mandalorian growls a soft swear, “shit,” and she whips her head to look at him, pupils dilated and forehead glazed with a sheen of sweat, she’s a breathtaking disaster.

“What?”

“This is your fault.” He’s harsh, condescending. He angrily snaps his rifle over his shoulder to free up his movements, he’s handling the weapon roughly and she’s watching with slight awe. Every second he’s in hot pain, it’s pulling him closer to her every second and now he’s absolutely certain. “Now —” he tries to explain but she’s already lashing out in that bright red anger.

“You bastard, how is this my fault?” She stumbles and nearly falls but catches herself with some dignity, ignoring the Mandalorians hand moving to help her, if need be. Her raised voice causes his chest to lurch and he’s trying not to look directly at her. He’s now absolutely certian and trying to remain calm.

-

They’d been wandering through the thick forest, stepping through shallow streams and climbing over moss covered rocks protruding from the planets crust. She’d been walking along, weapons slung across her chest, just absolutely entranced by the canopy of violet flowers that hung in thick and heavy looking bunches over their heads; the red suns of this planets atmosphere did their best to shine through the long winding leaves of the plants, but as the bounty hunters continued on, the darker their surroundings became.

She was ignoring the Mandalorian, angry at him once again for getting them lost, but his argument in retaliation was she had simply forgotten to pack the ships tracker back at base. Packed into a steaming argument she then proceeded to send him surly glares and refuse to speak.

The Mandalorian didn’t mind much, he liked the quiet, and quite honestly, he enjoyed it more when he knew she weren’t going to start speaking. He’d never been much of a talker, but going on this mission with a fellow (amateur) hounty hunter, he’s been forced to converse, pleasantly or not.

They had been walking under the flowers for ages, time didn’t exist there, a loop of the hours that dragged on forever. Then that is where everything was her fault.

She touched a small fluorescent flower, curled her slim fingers around the velvety petal she smoothed skin of the plant under her palm and turned to examine the bright pollen covering her flesh.

She caught his gaze for a moment, a hazed over kind of glint in her eyes, then looked down at her pollen covered hand, then back at the innocent looking plant, a light violet powder covered her hand, and imprinted on the large petals was her very handprint.

“It’s just a plant. We should keep moving.” He turned and strode away, pushing down the idea that she had looked beautiful, surrounded by soft colours, it was different than her usual aesthetic. She only smiled, her frustration melted away, and brushed the rest of the pollen from her palm, together they watched it soak into the air, soft and aesthetic it slid between the panels of sunlight that peeked through.

The faces of flowers watched the hunters leave the forest; poisoned and deadly.

-

“You gotta be fucking kidding. Fuck.” The Mandalorian sighs deeply and he’s trying not to stare as she’s stripping from her metallic armour, her hurried fingers untying the laced up straps of her chest piece he’s kneeling down and helping her before she can yell at him. His gloved hands graze the skin of her collarbone exposed between the laces of her white undershirt and she’s whimpering.

She can’t strip right here. He’s not sure what will happen if she does. “Stop.”

“I said don’t fucking touch me,” she’s pushing him away and glaring, dark and deep.

“Do you know what that was?” He’s cooled down, thinking of what to do, that pulsing and burning need is brimming within his chest, begging and a slur of sinful thoughts seep into his mind. “The flowers?”

She’s sunk down to the brushy forest floor amongst the fluffy ferns and little white dotted flowers with red cheeked and filled with fierce bemusement she answers him. “The hell should I know.”

His shoulders droop with his heavy sigh and he’s scanning the trees around them, wondering if it’s the pollen affecting his sight too or if the wooded plants really do look as if they are bending over them, creaking and contorting into an arch as if to protect the two hunters, watch over them. “I’ve heard of these before, and this has to be it — why you’re in pain.”

The Mandalorian makes no comment of his own deplorment, controling desire morphed into threads of pain. He’s keeping it under wraps but having her so close to him, so bare and soft, as much as she exists to him as an enemy rather than one he’s thought of in such a way its throwing his attention askew.

“I’m not in pain,” she’s snapping at him again, short words and a steely tone she’s already turning a cold shoulder, never accepting the fact that she’s not immortal.

Inwardly she knows she’s lying, but it’s a half lie, she’s in pain but it’s a familiar feeling, the warmth pooling inside her, trembling hands and thighs, she can just feel the dampness at her core, hot and slick she’s absolutely soaked.

“I’m just —” she cant string the words together, looking up at the stern Mandalorian she’s fighting back the urge, the longing and pathetic urge to crawl into his lap and have him fuck her till she can’t breathe; to sink himself deep inside her with a hand around her neck and to just fuck her senseless.

“I know.”

-

They’re back at the ship, the night air is cold and there are few stars alive in the sky. The Mandalorian and her are only feet apart, he’s across from her in his chair, back straight and unmoving, facing the dash. She’s sitting on the ground with her back against the rough cooling wall, the metal grated floor is hard and her ass is sore but if she’s sitting anywhere else she’s close to the Mandalorian and she can’t have that.

WInd howls outside and the huge trees sway in the darkness outside the Mandalorians ship.

She’s got her eyes closed, jawline accented in the semi darkness she’s leaning back to the wall, bottom lip caught under her teeth she’s biting down harshly and tapping her foot in an anxious beat as sweat drops past her sternum and slides over her skin between her breasts, she feels every milimeter of her skin crawl and its rolling in waves, the slick and pushing arousal, its sliding under her skin and got its grip on her chest so tight shes stripped her shirt off.

Her forgotten armour and boots lay in the middle of the open space within the ship.

This isnt ending soon.

The Mandalorian watching his fist curl and uncurl, the wrinkles of the leather gloves he’s wearing bend and fade, he’s unfocused and can only think of her, she’s ten feet away and hasn’t spoken to him since they made it back to his ship. He’s thinking of how she uttered a moan as he brushed her lower back, her eyes closing, slipping into a world where the affects of the pollen are taken care of. 

He’s wondering just how long the effects last when the she speaks up, her voice hoarse and taunt in her lungs. “How the hell is this not having any effect on you?” His fist clench one last time and he’s shifting in his chair, through the visor his eyes close momentairly, pondering of what to say.

“I never said it wasn’t.”

For all the wrong reasons heat pools within her core at the Mandalorians tender voice, smooth and rich its all she can do but imagine how he sounds next to her ear, telling her how good she feels around him, how wet and tight. “You feel this too?”

He doesn’t answer. He’s still blaming her, still wrapped in the idea she’s at fault. How could she have known? In turn, he was at fault as well, getting them lost and failing to recall the deadly flowers.

Then she’s saying something he’d never expect.

“I’m so sorry,” she’s muttering, rubbing the heals of her hands into her eyes, blurring her vision — childlike, innocent. “This is all my fault,” grimacing, she moves her legs to be more comfortable. “It hurts,”

An apology. In the moment the Mandalorian finds it amusing that it takes fucked up pollen fever to force her to apologize for something.

The Mandalorians chest is pinched, painful, and he sighs deeply, she sounds so wrecked, her voice soft, weak. He hears her shifting on the floor and his ears ring witht he rustle of clothing — everything is sensitive. “I know,” he says her name in the short sentence and she’s whimpering in reply.

They could be anywhere, planets away, flying past suns and stars, holed up in dingy towns or broken cities — no, they’re ten feet apart and both have managed to inhale sex pollen straight from the deadly plant itself.

“Mando,” she whimpers again, sliding her hands down her torso, her palms press over her nipples and her back arches; she’s forgetting her hatred for the Mandalorian, letting his annoyance to her everyday life slip from her mind — she’s opened her eyes and he’s there, standing, the shadows curved around him you can only see the outline of his form. Her eyes linger on his arms, his now bare hands and the warmth tugs somewhere deep inside her.

Eyes darkened and filled with a lingering prederatory hilt, she’s pulling herself to her feet, the Mandalorians watching her, a warrior, torn and wrecked, chapped pink parted lips and lashes fluttering over her bright eyes — unstoppable, seductive. He’d be lying if he said he’d never thought about her beyond the dealings of companionship, of partners in they crimes they commit.

“We gotta do something about this, Mando.” Its killing her, she’s sure of it. Her eyes break into his beskar, drag over his bulky body.

“There’s nothing... we just wait it out.”

“I can’t,”

“I don’t care.” He’s back to cruel words in the place of his longing rule the flood of things he wants to say, to bend close to your ear and whisper. Fuck me.

She’s stalking closer to him, wetting her lip with her tounge its only moments before something has to happen, its damp and rushed in the hazy red lights inside the ship, they’re furious and watching the Bounty Hunters below.

“I hate you, you know that?” Her words are dripping burning silk — she’s never hated him. And thats her immortal demise, a secret, tucked away in her heart.

“Feelings mutual.” He turns his head to stare into her eyes, her widened and starlike eyes. His own dark eyes trail down past her collarbone and land on her breasts nearly pushed from her tight covering, rising ad falling in time with her breaths. His hands ich to just touch. 

She purrs. “We can hate eachother,” she’s stepped closer to him and he’s not moving, allowing her to invade all idea of personal space she’s so close he can smell her. She seems to forget where she was going with her sentence, looking up at him its like she sees right through him.

“Can we?” His voice breaks through the mask. She chews on the idea, wonders what kind of pretty words it would take to get him to fuck her. Her cunts soaked and throbbing, the push of the material of her pants aren’t helping.

 “Have you ever been with anyone?”

There it is.

“Dont ask stupid questions.” He’s turning away but she’s got a hold of his arm, her warm hand in contact with his is taking ridiculous affect, lurching up and and through his chest the Mandalorians heart is in his throat. “We cant,”

He’s thinking it too.

“Its not wrong,” she’s sliding her hand down to slip her fingers through his, stiring up the growing fire. Its hot and heavy, weighs him down. “Mando, please,” she’s begging, caught on whimpers she’s breathing heavier and heavier. The Mandalorin pulls his hand from her grip, raises it and he’s brushing a forlorn tear from her cheek.

Please. “I can’t stop it,”

He’s slowly going insane, at the touch of her skin something within him snaps and he’s pulling her close, pushing her to the wall of the ships interior, his arms trapping her in. Their breaths match, and she’s so close to him, her eyes softening her mouth opens to beg, of pathetic desperation and drunk on the flowers bitter poison. The Mandalorian stops her, a bare hand agaisnt her mouth he’s silenced her. The touch of their burning skin nearly has her dropping to her knees. She looks into the visor of the hemlet and searches of emotion, a flicker of life behind the face of a machine.

The Mandalorians body is pressed to hers, compact, brimming with the poisonous affections, they’re drowning in the stuff. She shudders in his grasp, the mix of metal and weapons, of leather and the soft material of his shirt, its all too much, burning and keeping her of air its not enough.

He’s looking away from her, forcing himself to keep his cool. Its a rippling fire, lurching and spreading as if alive, the thick coils are heavy. Mando tempts a movement, his cock hard against her and it’s so good — she whines info his hand, her leg slinking up his own, trapping him closer.

“You really don’t know what you do to me, huh?” The Mandalorian’s rough, distracted, caught in grinding out as much friction against her as he can, chasing away the clouding thoughts, screaming at him that everything is wrong.

But those fade, sink into pure silence when her free hand slides up his wrist, nails dug into his skin, she’s pulling his hand away from her lips, her heavy lidded eyes dance with seduction. He’s watching her turn his hand, help him cup her jaw, half spread over the side of her throat, his thumb glides over her lip, she’s turning her head, leaning into his grasp she’s taking the digit between her wet pursed lips, sucking, biting down.

Fuck.

“Please Mando,” hoarse voice in his ears and shooting a pool of warmth straight through him. She’s sinking into the wall, dark eyes pouring into him. Desperate. Longing. “What, you want me to beg?”

Mando freezes. A growl pushes its way through his chest. “No,” she’s ruining him, breaking him apart by the seams. Her brows knitted, eyes wide, pleading. A selfish, dark part of the Mandalorian wants to force her to her knees, maybe turn her front to the wall, press deep into her and fuck the burning urges away.

Her tones smooth and sinking into his skin, drugging him. “Wanna watch me get off? Maybe that’s what you’d like, Mando?”

She pushes him back, forcing stumbling steps, using what’s left of her strength. It’s wickedly wrong, she needs him so bad it hurts. She wants to drop to her knees, taste his cock on her tongue, strip the beskar off, drag her nails down his skin, make him moan her name.

Her words are nearly fucking unbearable. The burning sexual tension hangs in the air, choking them. The ships inside is warm and sticky, her half bare body is covered in sweat, her skin flushed and eyes dark, she matches what earthquakes seem and what passion wishes it could be.

The last dregs of self control fade, his minds hazy with greed and the absence of her burning fever touch has him desperate.

“Get on the floor.”

Quiet. Commanding. She’s obeying instantly and sinks to the floor of his ship, grated metal digging into her flesh, the ground is filthy and gritty and she’s biting back harsh words, only for the moment, thick and heavy need is in place of hatred. Her poisoned gaze burns into him, watching him pull away weapons and leather, heavy cloak and chunks of beskar — not all all of it though.

He’s over her, burning touch that’s melting to her skin. She falls into a moan, her stomach tense with arousal, spreading through her body, following his hands. “Fuck you need to touch me,” everything is begging her to delve into him, rip apart from their restraining history, make amends and build up something new, something in which he can fuck her and hate her at the same time.

And maybe he is.

Through the visor of his helmet, glitching into view, her body spread and displayed, his core deepens, eating him from the inside. Mando pulls her to his lap, her cunt right over his centre, throbbing over his cock. A hot moan drips from the helmet, he closes he eyes, letting her move against him, spine arched beautifully; Mando slides an arm around the small of her back, keeping her close with a spread hand. The other gropes her chest, further pulling down the tight material covering her tits.

“I need—” a whimper slides over her lips, her hands settle over his broad shoulders, drag him closer. “I need something...your hands — fuck — your lips on me.”

“You’re not getting that.” He promises, his helmets not coming off, he’s barely taken any armour off — and she’s bare over him, albeit tight underclothes. His hand slides down her skin, past her navel and dip down past her underclothes, shoving them aside. She gasps loudly, releasing her breath in a shaking moan as his fingertips brush her softness.

That aching pull, it’s deepening and she’ll surely run out of breath before the Mandalorian can properly touch her. She’s forgotten it’s not affected him as much as her — not that it matters, he’s got his hand on her cunt and his dick is hard and thick under her. “Please, oh my god.”

The helmet tilts, the coolness brushing her skin. He’s watching her, arched into his grasp, silently begging for anything. Then he’s curled two fingers into her, gathered in slick and crooked just right and she shrieks, shatters over him. Blood red lips and wild eyes, she’s moving, urging him to fuck her through the drug, bring the heavyness to an end. Its not enough.

She’s falling back, legs untanged with his, she’s gripping him and pulling him close, collasping onto the floor, his hand leaves her for a moment, tugging an empty ache back into her gut. “No, no --” she’s whimpering, “please keep going.”

His hand pushes the mess of hair from her face, looking right into her wretched eyes. Through the rush and anger, he feels a bit of softness, a bit of longing mixed with a likeness, she must be well under the drug, for she’s never been one to beg just that much. His bare hands slide back over her body, dipping past her hipbones and blunt nails dragging down her thighs. Her cunt glistens, Mandos caught in wondering just how she’d taste on his tongue, his head between her thighs, tight around his ears.

“Mando,”

The helmet tilts again and she catches a glimpse of skin, tan under the material and beskar. It’s the column of his throat, leading down where his collarbone would be. The sight sends her into fresh, delicious delirium.

“You need me to fuck you.” He’s buying time, seeing how far she can stretch, the looks of her all soft and longing is turning him on a little too much. It’s not the girl she normally is.

Half a sob curls up, painfully pushing at her throat. She needs him so bad. “Isn’t that fucking obvious.”

There she is.

Without warning he’s over her and his hand on her cunt, two fingers sunk deep in her wetness, pulling her into a painful arch from the grated flooring. She shakes, her hand finds his shoulder and grips tight, nails nearly digging into the thick material of his shirt. Living vicariously through the feeling of his fingers in her cunt, he’s back to thinking just how she’s taste, how she’d writhe and shiver under his tongue. The thoughts are burning through him and his dick is painfully hard — her thigh brushes him and he nearly comes right there.

He’s fucking her slowly, roughly; thumb brushing her clit through the plush wetness of her cunt, she biting down on moans and quivering, lithe in his grasp. “Mando please, I need —” she’s got her eyes squeezed shut, rolling through another wave of wanton poison, it’s bleeding into every nerve.

“I know what you need,” he’s got her. His voice soothes her, his rough hands pull her thigh up, three fingers slathered in her dripping elixir, they’re flat to her clit and pushing in short circles. His touch is chasing away the heat in her skin, derived under influences of lust, she’s collapsing under thick waves of it. She needs his hands, his lips his dick — anything. What the Mandalorian is doing is not enough.

“Mando, just shut up, please —” the slip of his fingers on her clit is sloppy, pressing hard and soaked in her honey. “I need something.” It still hurts, the pollens clamped itself inside her system, taking ahold of her hot muscles, her running heart and flushed skin.

He’s got her pinned, ragged sounds tear from him, the helmets speakers crackle with his breath. Mandos hovered above her, ire trained on her face, down her chest to her breasts rising and falling, pert nipples and soft curves. She’s so damn soft, angelic in a ruined sort of way. Mando groans, her hands found his cock, palming through the fabric.

“Take of the mask,” she’s panting, her free hand leaves his shoulder and slides down the metal, right where she imagined his cheekbone would be. His movements slow. “Wanna have your fucking mouth on me.”

“Helmet stays on.” He’s pulled her closer, sinking down to cover her bare body with his metallic and leather clad one, his right hand digs under her thigh, raises it to his side, slim fingers gripping her pretty curves. She’s frustrated, all that hate and anger comes back in droves, her hand leaves his cock, much to her displeasure and leaves him chasing the feel of it, she’s temping him, fueling a spark of anger.

“I don’t care.” She hisses, eyes scathingly dark.

Smack! His hand slaps the outside of her thigh, burning the skin a deeper colour and bringing a cry of surprise to the edge of her breath. Fuck, the spank shot the air from her lungs, swollen lips parted but not a noise leaves them.

The sudden sting and roughness of it was painful — she wants it again. Her cunts tight around nothing and she’s pulled on an edge.

“Could blindfold you,” the voice through the helmet is deep, it sends her further into an intoxicating trance. “That what you want?”

Fuck no. She’s biting her lip and pushing herself up and onto him. Her tits press to his beskar and it’s cold to her skin, covered in goosebumps and sweat, chills run rampant over her form. She whimpers, his rough hands find her cunt, dip into the warmth once again.

“I’m not putting a blindfold on, fuck that.” She’s panting, arched up to him as his fingers leave her cunt, slicked and tasting of her sweetness. She’s mewling and its not enough, she needs the real thing. She’s begging him to fuck her properly between the sounds of metal clinking, the heavy rustle of fabrics — he’s not wasting a second before he’s half torn from the beskar.

The Mandalorian smooths his bare hand over her cunt, watching her shiver — wretched art, she’s beautifully twisted. She’s palming her own breast, arching info the feeling, her body calling him, a siren luring.

Fuck it. He could do no blindfold.

“Fine,” he’s growling and grips her hips, hands dug into her skin he’s flipped her over, her chest pressed onto the dirty floor of the ship, the Mandalorian runs a hand up her smooth back, his hand curves around the back of her neck and she’s pinned down.

His free hand rips the helmet off, it clatters fo the floor beside her, the empty metal visor staring, watching. Basked in fresh air and the smell of sex, Mando leans over her, a large hand slides up past her tits and circles her throat. She whines and bends to his will. Mandos rough and unforgiving, a newfound freedom without the helmet has him pulling her body right to his broad chest, teeth scraping her neck, damp moans and mutters of curses fall from his hungry lips.

“Gods, gods you’re so good,” his raw and ragged tone is thick in the air, finally free of his helmet, still mysterious to her, it’s the sinking reality of just how attracted she is to him, how pathetically desperate she is, letting a man fuck her and never let her see his face; but the feel of his hardness pressed against her along with leftover leather and beskar mixed with his lips on the lobe of her ear is enough.

She wants the Mandalorian to show her how good she is. All that blinds her is pure need, flower drunk and trapped in the world of fever dreams.

Sliding her ass against him, his cock hard as fucking marble between them, she moans, ripping through another wave of arousal, she’s growing wetter by the second its evident on the inseams of her thighs, shiny and coated. The Mandalorian shoves harshly her down again, his knee knocking hers to the side, spreading her apart, bending over her his lips and teeth find her shoulder blade and between her yearnful sounds, stuck in the darkness of the fever, she’s struggling, eyes squeezed shut.

Then sliding past all that, pushing through shuddering breaths, Mando grips her tight and sinks himself into her. Its instant relief, a fall into icy rushing water and the world becomes clear again, everything is felt differently. She’s warm and wet, every inch delved deep in her cunt is pure bliss.

“Oh-h stars—” curling, tense pressure mounts within her, she’s sensitive and trembling, he’s breaking her open, it’s everything she’d been desperate for and more. She’s writhing in his grasp, tangled in pleasure, her form caved to his touch.

The Mandalorian moans, exilariated he’s pulling back only to slam himself into her again, arms supporting him he’s leaned over her, pressing messy and wet kisses to her shoulder, sinking his teeth into her soft skin he’s forcing her to cry out, to bend at his will and crave him only more. She’s stretched, a sleek feline, muscled and curved, her knees are spread and the metal of the floor is digging into her skin, its painful but she doesnt feel it in the moment.

At a loss of words, her lips part and she’s stuck, caught in thick webs of flowing pleasure, running in hot waves through her bloodstream, her nerves and bones. The Mandalorians pace is off, deep and hard, he’s sloppy and rough.

Its a race to the edge and she finds herself taunt, her thighs tremble and she’s already close, taking it hard she covers her mouth with her hand, pushing forwards as the Mandalorians movements twist into something other than, something primal and urging on what the poison called them to do.

Her body half broken under fatigue, Mando’s strong arms grip hers and gather her up, spine curved again, her ass pressed to his hipsbones, the new angles deep and he stutters his movements, head falling tight to her shoulder, resting for only a moment.

He’s fucking her harder, messier. One arm wrapped around her chest, hand clasped with hers and the other winds around her throat, forearm pressed over her chest. Fingertips pressing to the sides of her neck, he knows just what he’s doing — right amount of pressure, the slight squeeze, it’s got her gasping and hungry for adrenaline. She curled an arm back, holding the back of his head, fingers threaded through his thick hair, soft under her palm.

“Mando, fuck you’re good,” maybe it’s the drug, maybe she’s sunk under the influence, thick with lust but each show, calculated fuck against her has her wondering why they’ve never done this sooner.

He squeezes once, a warning. “Quiet,” and that’s why, she remembers, slurring thoughts mix through her foggy mind, he’s controlling, he’s rough and merciless — but it doesn’t matter now, she’s halfway to orgasm and the calling relief is so much better than her hatred for him.

She’s trembling on the edge, the Mandalorian fucks her hard and fast, chasing after release and turning the lust into something wickedly beautiful. Each hit has her breathtaking moans, a little gift to his ears, furthering his seeping arousal. She’s tight and hot around him, fucked out at a perfect angle and lashing against his grip, then it’s all blinding and his release comes from nowhere, coating and warm inside her she’s gasping at the feel, triggering her own fall from grace.

Slow and gutteral moans, shaking breaths and molten energy, they’ve fallen on the same brink of time, waves of lighting crash through her, the heavy coil snapping, evolving into sparks of rabid pleasure. She muffes shrieks into her hand. Mando’s never come harder, so unexpectedly torturous, she’s impossibly wet around him and it’s hard to keep a grip, her thighs shake. Three more leisurely thrust, deep in her cunt has him tripping through the moment, head dropping to her shoulder, teeth gritted tight, he’s a mess and it’s wrecking him.

“Fuck,” he bites down on the swear, she shivers as he pulls away, hands releasing her throat and waist she’s shaky and not able to hold herself up. Mando doesn’t speak, his mind filled with one thing.

Through the darkness of the Crest, the thick taste of sex in the air and sounds of her intoxicating whimpers, he sinks down and helps her lie back, her form shifting under him, she’s facing him in the darkness, breathing through the aftershocks. “Holy... shit,”

“Don’t move,” chasing the trembles down her ruined form, he drops between her legs once again, dangerous hands pawing at her thighs, her knees had knocked together, tensed in the throes of pleasure but Mando’s splitting them open and burrowing his head between.

She jolts back into reality, haven drifting into some kind of post orgasmic dream. His velvet tongue slides up through her cunt, finally having a taste of her, drinking all she has to offer. Wet and heavy moans shift from his lips to her slicked cunt, his whole body is pressing forwards, rebuilding the release. She’s choking on moans, the sensitivity is on the verge of pain, tipping past pleasure. The sounds of her cunt to his lips, his nose ridged against her clit, churning out a new rush, white hot and bathed in carnality.

“Yes, oh-h my gods,” her hands fumble, her form is numb to feeling, every nerve is retracting, drowning in the new burning coals and blackened skyes. It’s ruined daylight and broken stars. It’s only been seconds after the release, and another ones building. Hot tears threaten to escape, renagade and borne by exhaustion, sensitivity; and the Mandalorians not slowing down, sinking into her begs on the edge of sin, his tongue delves deep, flicking and curling around her bud.

She’s split apart, the half on verge of passing out, the other riled up, curling her leg around his shoulder, pushing him further and fuck she’s so close, pooling warmth and the rushed feeling of tightness, the burning coil taunt. Through the darkness, she’s wretched — faces of flowers coat her vision, blinking in and out, she’s lost off the world. It builds, stacking and mounting and she can’t control it. Shuddering, her spines arched and she feels chills climb the ridges of her bones — her thighs close tight, stopped by his rough hands, pushing her open but it’s too much, the fires alit and burning through her.

His mouth slants over her cunt, closing around in a wet kiss paired with slurred words, close to her slick the Mandalorians telling her to come on his tongue, that he’s got her, he’ll work her through it and then she’s suddenly shaking — pleasure rips through her form, unbearably shocked.

“Fuck, fuck, Mando —” she’s gasping and he’s addicted to her taste, sweet and sharp on his tongue, he’s breathing deep, his tongue slip against her core and he’s fucking her slowly through her release; she’s close to sobbing, the pressures releasing ever so slowly, the motions of orgasms bend and fade, twisted in her mind and body. Her hips pressed to the ground, keeping her still, large hands gripping, tight to her scalding skin.

His lips leave her, the urges come back.

The poison — cursed pollen, exchanged sinfully through their bodies, it’s not been purged, still thick in her veins and fogging her mind, she’s gasping for air as it locks into chest.

The Mandalorian feels it, somewhere deep and dark.

They’re right back at the beginning, her thighs ache and her hands feel numb, lips bitten red and skin coloured with marks, she’s an art form of desperation and need. Through the musky darkness, his hands find her body again, she’s in a daze, staring up at the red lights above them, watching them fade and glow. She floats back to the planet, back to the ship as his lips graze her neck, fresh with anew urge of ecstasy and hands smooth over her breast.

They’re going to be there for awhile.

-

feedback is always appreciated!

[tags / some of these are from the previous list, please tell me if you’d like to be removed or added] @x-wingwarriorbbpoe8 @fantasticwizardnerd @flipping-fan-tastic @thatoneemosithlord @dontbetricked @bamfkurt @m-is-for-mischa @otherthingsinhead @christiandior @ccordiform @darlingbravebelle @aj-2187 @boogiebunnies @charlotte-solane-writes @allihave-arememories @pedro-pascal-online @iprettybirdi @toasterking @jedi-dreea @s-v-e-l-t-e @http-user-eraser @fxcastle @titahnics @captianstartights @banana-batman @biolo-tea @raveviolet @aroseamongthestars @bitchasaurus @imconfused28 @rebelwriter95 @nyashi-kaages @bigtoughswordboy @stonertokoyami @sailorflowermoon @sleepingdeath007 @gothtechie @skys-luce-stellare @missalyssx

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme from "Chapter One: Caliah (Lore)" in the Bastet breedbook from "Werewolf: The Apocalypse"

Once there was a cat who dreamed he was a man.

Like the morning mist, she appeared from nowhere, or so it seemed.

The winds have spoken of your dilemma and I have come to show you the way home.

Why do you call me brother?

We are family.

We have different parents but share the same blood.

You need to meet your people

You are my sister

I have no other family. Don’t leave me!

We all have family

What are the dreams of a cat?

Let us welcome each other and speak of hidden things.

If they come in peace, we welcome them.

I’m just a mutt.

Listen up and listen close, ‘cause this isn’t stuff you’ll hear from any old place.

I’ve got friends with friends, if y’know what I mean, and this is good stuff.

They don’t get along, y’know.

A good lorespeaker tells different stories every time, and she makes ‘em as cool as possible.

Sound like anyone we know? Nah! Couldn’t be!

So how do you trade secrets, anyway? After all, isn’t a secret shared a secret lost?

If you don’t play the game, you don’t learn a thing.

Each element of the message becomes a metaphor, and the message becomes a story.

Florid? Hell yeah! But ya gotta admit it’s more graceful — and exposes a hell of a lot less — than blurting out the truth.

You might say, “I heard a story about so-and-so” but you’d never say “I did so-and-so.” If your audience has a clue, they’ll catch on.

Everything’s told in metaphors.

A good obtuse metaphor makes you look imaginative if someone gets it, really stupid otherwise.

Everything is larger than life. People don’t just cry, they “explode in showers like the sea.” Folks don’t just get mad, they “turn into coals that burn through the floor.”

If what you’re saying is important, bigger is better.

Simple? Not if you don’t get the lingo.

A wounded cat can surrender without disgrace.

Not enough to go around.

Hey, don’t let on you know what I told you, huh?

It was a time before life, a longing when the dream of birth was yet to be.

This marked the end of peace and the beginning of struggle.

Such promises are soon broken.

Why does even the skin of my daughter flee from my hands?

Why must I always be alone?

Master, what would you have of us?

Nothing exists for him but annihilation.

Go across the world

Let that which is pure stand whole, but erode that which is impure from within.

He tells many tales, but all of them are lies. He is rage made manifest, and he coils within us all.

There was no want, no war, no anguish, and all living things gave of themselves to help others exist.

Until some cataclysm happened, everything lived in peace and plenty.

Life has ever been a struggle, my brothers and sisters. Life has always meant that some may die for others’ pleasure.

That pleasure may be as necessary as hunger or as frivolous as sport, but it has always been fatal and always will be.

Only through struggle can we progress.

Only through sacrifice can we succeed.

We were born from conflict and we grow through adversity. Our ancestors are predators, great cats and human hunters who rose above their surroundings and mastered them.

We know our place in the Great Order, and it is not passive.

Like the moon, our world waxes and wanes.

Each era glows brightly, then fades into night before rising again as some new age.

As creatures of light, dark and twilight all, we are not moved much by the vagaries of fortune.

Each tribe has its creation story, and they differ in many ways.

I have my own ideas.

We are a breed eternally apart, and we are rare.

Water runs silent, yet crushes with the power of an elephant.

Its depths hold secrets that only the brave can find.

The first of our kind were nearly the last.

Those it caught were devoured.

Let this be your legacy

My tears, shed for you, will boil in your veins.

All people will fear you, and all animals, too.

Begone and tend the flocks that need killing.

I banish you from sight!

They still live on in us, and we carry their curse to this day.

As the humans prospered, they grew quickly out of hand.

It was a bloody, useless time, and we fractured as a people.

Secrets became the only thing to bind us.

It’s hard to forgive these raging bastards.

Very territorial, and I know how that feels.

There are enough horrors in the night already.

Corruption has a million voices; sometimes they drown out the song of the moon and lead us over cliffs.

That song wails from nightclubs, boom boxes and televisions every day.

Stop up your ears, my friend and listen to the wind.

Those secrets led the wolves to our door — literally.

Gods damn the dogs for that!

Their misbegotten crusade killed hundreds of our Kind and Kin.

She mated with serpents, wolves and great cats in an effort to become like them, but gave birth to monsters instead.

Some legends portray her as one of our kind, but we know this isn’t so.

If the tales I’ve heard are any measure, they have no pity for us at all.

We are where we are born.

I think our unique insights show us that humanity is a mixed blessing — especially where the earth and the wild are concerned.

Men are the cleverest monkeys, no doubt, but they don’t have much sense of self-preservation.

Our forebears fought to let humanity prosper.

We have an amazing world at our fingertips, but it’s filled with poisons and lies.

Honor seems to be a fading dream in lands where the rich starve their people and the poor kill each other.

We hold magic within ourselves, within our hearts and minds and spirits. To dishonor ourselves is to disperse that magic and scatter our souls.

It’s acceptable to lie to other creatures; they’re not of our blood and not bound by our laws.

We will flee to survive a fight, but will not run when others depend on our strength.

We must make restitution to those we deceive, in deeds, trade or money.

We may be exiled or branded.

Our weapons are many — secrets, claws, teeth and allies — and we will not hesitate to employ them for our world’s

survival.

Our people have walked too close to extinction for us to take such matters lightly.

We will not ally ourselves with shadow powers or drink corrupted wisdom.

We do not fail our Earth and mother. That path leads to death.

We are the keepers of secrets, and our fates depend on silence.

Each of us bears the hidden doom of our own people, and we know the cost of betraying that trust.

We also know that we have what others want — or what they think they want — and it amuses us to make them squirm.

Our knowledge is our concern.

We will not share it unless we wish to.

We will hide ourselves from outsiders; they will think they know us, but we will delude them.

We will wrap our lore in riddles and tales; let the clever ones puzzle out their meaning.

We will act as if we know even more than we do, for it keeps outsiders guessing.

Let them wonder at our insight; they value us more highly when they do.

We will cover our tracks with misdirection, pretend to be other than what we are, fill the air with idle rumors and hide messages in code.

There is no forgiveness for this crime.

Well, let’s just say I know what I’ve seen. And I’ve seen a lot.

His eyes were so filled with pain that I decided to help out.

I’d swear he was grinning as the semi ran him down.

That felt good.

Guess they’ve gotta live here, too.

I say they’re not as smart as they might think.

Maybe I’m the one who’s being fooled.

I could tell you stories all night, all week, all month and more.

As the temples rose and the hordes crossed through, our parents sat on the sidelines of history and observed the passing of kings.

The cultures we witnessed shaped our own ways.

Cities rose, each with secrets too tempting to ignore.

For a long time — 4,000 years — there was all the room in the world for us, and no lack of secrets to keep us entertained.

We should have seen the signs in the Classical Age, when armies swept across the land in the names of gods, kings and conquerors.

We should have met en masse when trade and crusades brought East and West together.

I will not belabor the point. We know what happened.

Explorers, slavers and great white hunters bounded into the wilderness and cast a chain around our kind.

Suddenly, we went from having all space to having little.

I can’t say I don’t share the sentiment just a bit.

We didn’t stop until a greater evil forced us to align, but that’s another story.

It’s a wonder anyone survived.

We studied their secrets, but could learn nothing from them.

We have no one to blame but ourselves.

For all our vaunted sight, we’re blind. For all our gathered lore, we’re stupid.

The world is falling apart.

I don’t know whether to believe it or not, but we are living in interesting times!

We must pool our secrets, combine our efforts, and bring the world’s secrets to light.

We must act on what we discover and disperse what we learn.

Do I lose my cool?

The modern age is the greatest puzzle we could want endless streams of secrets, enigmas, wonders and dazzles, wrapped up in an explosive package that could blow us all to hell.

Anywhere, at any time, the whole ride could fly off the rails.

Those who ignore the warning feed the vultures the next morning.

I’ll simply say the tigers are not where you’d expect.

People have begun to open their eyes, but they still need your counsel to see the cliff’s edge before falling off

Those stories are true — violently true — and they add up to an appalling picture if you string them all together.

They get an idea, work on it a bit, and try to rule the world. Typical. We’ve seen their kind before.

Look around you if you doubt it.

Surely the secrets you’ve uncovered have given you the idea that maybe, just maybe, something’s going on, something bigger than another plunder, another invasion, another city that falls to ruin in a century.

Discover what you can, but bury your tracks well.

We’re strangers to each other for most of our lives, and we like it that way — a few careful gatherings are all we

can stand.

The moon is our patron, but the shadows are our father too, and they call to us at our weaker moments.

Most of us dance on the edge, though, and that’s where we like to be!

Despite our pains, we’re spirited and wild, inquisitive yet careful, sensual yet refined.

Our beauty is our greatest pride, and our wits are second to none.

We know what we are.

To hell with them all!

Still, we cannot let pride blind us to the facts.

The morning it foretells is up to us.

We must come together, yet retain our pride.

We are the keepers of secrets.

Perhaps it’s time those secrets were revealed.

[plush-anon]

SCOOB! Stream of Consciousness Review

Here we are folks - I finally review the originally cinematic, fully CGI animated Scooby Doo Movie (one year later... I did not queue this as I thought I had last June - damn you, Tumblr. I’m not changing much here, so enjoy as it was intended).

Created by a team who have professed their affection for this mystery team and their meddling dog too, will this be a lush experience fit to satisfy any Hanna-Barbera fan? Or will it be a hot garbage cash-grab, littered with Easter eggs and references that do nothing to hide a meatless mess of outdated memes and shallow character development?

LET’S

FIND

OUT

Below this cut is my entire stream-of-consciousness review on the SCOOB! Movie, as experienced. SPOILER warning here - I’m digging into everything, no plot points spared. 

Here we go~

And we start off with a decent shot of the California coastline (looks like the kids backstory is front and center), some 90s hip-hop synthwave song about California, and OH SWEET JESUS THESE MODELS LOOK TERRIBLE

Ahem

Yeah, this is a problem right off the bat - some of these people in the opening shots look remarkably unfinished - think three shades above “Rapsittie Kids: Believe in Santa” level - and the animation on them is less than stellar. 

On the plus side, we do see a fantastic variety of ages, sizes, and races - there’s a brief blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Sikh man on roller skates playing a sitar - but when the designs look rushed in the opening shots, it’s not a fantastic sign. At least they’re brief, but it’s hard to see if this is a lower level of the film’s style due to rushed animation, or if they didn’t care to polish it up as much, given that it’s maybe a 30 second scene. 

Still, kudos to actually going for variety in the crowd shots. Minus kudos to making most of the clothes look like Play-doh draped over a Barbie doll. I’m not even kidding on that one, the clothes are super basic and barely have any sign of texture or creasing or even fabric/cut variety. Almost reminds me of the first Toy Story movie’s design for human clothes, yeesh. 

----

Ahh, our first introduction to Scooby Doo at a Greek gyro food stand. That’s foreshadowing right there folks! 😉

Sadly, he is really weirdly animated in his run sequence - he looks out of proportion as he’s running on his hind legs, and the human animation has really bad consistency - some background characters are really janky, while others actually move really nicely. The characters we immediately focus on seem to be pretty smooth at least, but that’s still very strange.

On a side note: Ruby and Spears Sub Sandwich shop. Nice 😁

----

They are reaaaally pushing the super over-the-top dramatic music for a bike cop chasing a dog that stole gyro meat

Why

It’s not even interesting chase music, just generic super-hyped-up chase music

----

And now we finally get to see a young Shaggy, standing next to a tie-dye food stand called Casey’s Confections that… sells meat. Hm. Guess WB hasn’t learned after all these years 🙄

Unfortunately, I’m not a huge fan of the kid they got to play him, Iain Armitage. He’s not a bad voice actor by any means, but he just doesn’t sound right for Shaggy. I know that as a kid he’d be much less likely to have a cracking/squeaky voice, but he sounds… it’s hard to pin down a word, but - precocious? Darling? Either way it doesn’t quite match, especially given how Shaggy sounds when he grows up via Will Forte. Just… no connection there. 

I tie it down to the particular vocal twangs and nuances the gang usually has. I’ll touch base on that note later I think, once we hit the teenage versions of the gang, but for now I’m just not feeling it. 

----

On the one hand, I empathize deeply with Shaggy and his Spotify’s unsettling ability to pinpoint his insecurities with song choices, and also deeply enjoy that one small gesture where his fingers kind of shake & tighten around his phone while he takes a deep breath to calm himself- it’s a very nice, subtle sign of frustration

On the other hand we just passed two guys with no nipples and an unerring likeness to a Ken doll in those Barbie movies, so I’m distracted by that now

(between this and Fred’s no-nipples in Happy Halloween SD!, is WB just terrified of giving men nipples in animated movies now? what gives?)

Also distracted by the thrifty lesbians who bought those two shirts that come together to make a heart in the middle, on the store’s 2 for 1 day

happy pride y’all!

---

Finally got context for the two sand piles!

Very, very sad context, but still! Progress!

Basically Shaggy’s practicing talking to people in order to learn how to make friends, since he either has no idea how, or has never had a friend before. So he’s trying to learn the right way to do it since his own attempts have failed

And him talking to these sand piles not only counts as practice, but he’s using them so that his mom thinks he’s spending time with friends like he told her

Ow :)

---

So ketchup leather is apparently a thing that exists

I’m learning so much today!

---

Given that Shaggy has no friends at this stage, but he’s still called Shaggy, I’m kind of wondering if that was a mean nickname that everyone called him, but he was just grateful for the interaction/pretended it was from friends, so he kept it 🤔

Actually, take it back, his mother is calling him that. Family nickname, maybe…?

----

Shaggy has Blue Falcon (classic) and Dynomutt funko pops

noice

---

Oof, you can reaaaaally hear the age in Frank Welker’s Scooby voice. Can we get Scott Innes back? He sounds almost identical to his performance 20+ years ago :/

Also talking waaaay too much - even SDMI Scooby wasn’t this wordy, and he NEVER shut the hell up 

----

Okay wait

So Shaggy met Scooby on Halloween day - then met the rest of the gang hours later?

Huh. And here I was thinking it would have been a few weeks minimum 

Although I have to say there is a lot here to work with, if it paces out how I think it does

Shaggy meets Scooby. Bare hours later, he buys him a collar (instead of his mom? weird) and asks him to stay with him, despite not really knowing him. Then, only a couple hours after that, he finally makes some friends… but only when Scooby is with him. 

Given that it looks like the gang are all around the same age in the same neighborhood, there’s a solid chance that they’ve taken classes together at the same school. If none of them met/knew/made friends with Shaggy then, but only did so AFTER Scooby came into the picture, that might lead to the argument we know about later when they split up; afterwards, S&SD go to the bowling alley, then get abducted by the Blue Falcon, plot continues. This could make it seem like they were only friends with him at the start because he had a dog. 

And the brief scene earlier with the music device shows that he tries to tamp down on his anger/doesn’t really address it - could lead to something more later 

hmmmm 🤔

---

Wait what

These two kid bullies just came out of nowhere, stole Shaggy’s candy… and then started on about how Halloween is only a marketing ploy to get companies to rot your teeth and go to the dentist more, before throwing the bag through a window and telling the two that ‘your blood sugar will thank us for it!’

Are - are these the brainwashed children of a Karen? Is that what I’m seeing?

I mean we could have had a Red Herring cameo, but apparently informing children about candy conspiracy theories is more important :/

----

Daphne: It’s Halloween - no one should go home without their candy

FD&V: *none of them have candy/candy bags*

???????

(Wouldn’t it make more sense if the bullies had stolen their candy too? What the hey man)

----

I do find it neat that we actually get to SEE the wires the ‘ghost’ uses to fly in full effect - that’s actually pretty cool, and not really something we get to see up close in older Scooby shows. Most of those just have the bad guy randomly flying about, and the wires revealed after the fact 

---

Actually, given how FD&V react to this ghost almost immediately… have they already been solving mysteries? It seems like it, given how smoothly they move together to capture him

That’s kind of odd in kids. Like, even in PNSD they weren’t perfectly in-sync on stuff

This then leads to the gang solving mysteries together… in spite of the fact that all Shag and Scoob did was hide in the wardrobe that had the stolen goods, while FD&V captured the dude 

Granted, they do ask Shag and Scoob if they wanna join in and say yes, but that seems like an strange jump after what could have been a one-time deal

I just find that a touch odd - esp when they could have had a five minute scene or so of them wandering around the house, touching on some old SDWAY traits. Heck, show that they’re SCARED in some way, and don’t immediately move to tackle what looks like a murderous spirit at age 8-9 or so. Even just showing the kids learning about each other would be enough, but what do I know. I’ve only watched Scooby Doo everything since I was 4 🙄

---

Ahhhh, and now for the updated rendition of the theme song

Where they’re all still kids doing everything the teenage gang did in the theme song

It doesn’t look as good as the OG, though - kind of like a computer game simulating the SDWAY intro using the PNSD kids in CGI. It’s honestly strange to see, and a little jarring - especially when we then transition to the older teenage gang right in the middle

Like, we don’t get to see you guys age through the song as you’re chased by/catch different monsters? That could have been pretty neat honestly - shows how long they’ve been doing this

Tho I gotta admit, seeing the Spooky Space Kook with his OG sound effects is pretty awesome, brief as it waoH MY GOD FRED WHY ARE YOU HAVING A ROMANTIC BEACHSIDE DATE WITH THE MYSTERY MACHINE 

THAT WASN’T IN THE ORIGINAL AND NO ONE ELSE GETS A CHARACTER INSIGHT SHOT LIKE THIS

WHY

----

Huh, looks like Ruby & Spears gave up their subway sandwich shop for a coffee shop

That apparently the gang goes to in order to eat malt shop food

okay?

----

Ah, and here’s where we finally look at the voice acting of the older teenage gang. Buckle up folks, cause I gotta lot to say

We’ll start with Fred, bc honestly? I think Efron actually fits him pretty dang well. He’s got a different cadence from Welker, true, but as far as an update goes? I think he’s a solid fit. Very much in line with the all-American kid that Fred’s kind of been slated as for the past 50 years or so, but updated more for the modern perspective. I call it solid (and possibly a replacement for whenever Welker decides to retire). 

Next? Oof. Velma is, IMHO, the weakest casting. Velma, no matter her voice actress, has ALWAYS had some form of nasal twang to her voice - that’s part of what makes her Velma to begin with, and helps her stand out. Nicole Jaffe, Pat Stevens, BJ Ward, Christina Lange (PNSD), Mindy Cohn, Kate Micucci, Linda Cardellini -heck, even Haley Kiyoko from ‘The Mystery Begins’ and Sarah Gilman from the ‘Daphne and Velma’ movie understood this! They all had that nasal twang to their voice - differing between actresses, of course, but still recognizable as Velma. Gina Rodriguez though? Honestly, it just sounds like she’s acting it straight. Not bad acting at all, by any means - she just doesn’t sound like Velma, and doesn’t seem to be trying to. (Honestly wondering if she was only hired bc she voices Carmen Sandiego in the reboot cartoon for the lolz fun reference! type connection) 

Daphne is sort of similar in voices, but hers is more of a pitch her voice hits - Heather North, Mary Kay Bergman, and Grey Delisle Griffin all have that pitch they hit naturally when speaking. Amanda Seyfried? Does not - in fact, her voice is actually deeper than I was expecting - but it’s not quite as big a difference as it is for Velma. It fits her character type okay, and she does well with it overall.  

And finally, the most controversial one: Will Forte’s Shaggy. 

I’ll go ahead and say this: he’s not Scott Menville levels of bad Shaggy voice acting. If I were to place him on a list, I’d probably put him around Billy West level - kind of sounds similar via vocal tics (voice cracking, likes and zoinks, etc), but his own voice just overtakes the impression he’s seeking to hit. When I hear him speak, I don’t really hear Shaggy; I just hear Will Forte trying to do an impression of Shaggy. 

In comparison: when Scott Innes took over for Shaggy, it was like Casey Kasem’s, just a touch more of a twang to his voice and just a dash over-the-top - but it was still Shaggy, and you didn’t doubt that for a minute.

Same thing for Lillard, but maybe moreso - he was pretty much the most perfect casting for a live-action Shaggy there could be at the time Scooby Doo (2002) was made. Him taking over for Kasem from there made perfect sense: he was honestly the best cast Mystery Inc member of the live-actions, and a lot more recognizable to the general public as Shaggy than Scott Innes was. He could also do different emotions with Shaggy that not a lot of the other voice actors had the chance to do (mainly bc script), so for future stuff they have that flexibility, if they wanted to play around a little more. 

With any luck Forte will get better over the course of the movie, but honestly the casting could have been so much better with Matt Lillard and Kate Micucci. 

----

Shaggy Rogers, evading taxes since 2020

----

siMON COWELL??!? 

WHAT THE

WHY?!?!?

ALSO HIS CHARACTER DESIGN STYLE IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF THE GANG WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!!?

IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SD CELEBRITY CAMEO

LIKE

IF YOU WERE GOING TO DO A CAMEO FROM AMERICAN IDOL WHY NOT RYAN SEACREST 

HE TOOK OVER FOR CASEY KASEM ON THE AMERICAN TOP 40 WOULDN’T THAT MAKE MORE SENSE

aaauuuggghhh

---

Also he’s there as a potential investor in Mystery Inc as a detective agency

A music industry professional… is interested in funding a detective agency.

Like… did he miss out on Josie & the Pussycats? Is that why he’s here?

----

Wait a minute

Oh noooooo

I know why he’s here

I remember this spoiler

Shit

-----

And once again, here is your reminder to tell Simon Cowell a great big fcuk you

Only this time it’s for making Shaggy and Scooby feel worthless and saying that friendship is worthless and cannot be counted on for anything worthwhile

Simon Cowell: Professional Dickhead

---

Welp, at least this gives a solid reason why they leave: Simon Cowell was being a professional dickhead, and the gang didn’t really say anything against him or interrupt him on his whole ‘Shag and Scoob are worthless spiel’

Or, well... Daphne stepped up some, but more to say ‘they’re our friends!’ rather than ‘that’s entirely wrong, our friends aren’t worthless!’ Better than nothing, but yeesh

----

Ahhh, Takamoto Bowling - the emptiest bowling alley in the evenings this side of Coolsville 

(no seriously, the past few times my dad has taken my sister and me bowling pre-pandemic, no matter the day or time? it’s ALWAYS got more than 6 lanes of people there, what the heck)

Also Scooby wears three bowling shoes, which honestly makes more sense than I thought it would - that pup goes spinning and sliding every which way on a normal floor, bowling alley floors would be like ten times worse

----

here’s a nice little detail - when Scooby sees one of the bowling pins peek out with red eyes and he yells that to Shaggy, Shaggy actually squints and walks closer to see if it actually does have eyes

aww

----

Huh, okay 

Panicked Will Forte Shaggy actually sounds more like a good Shaggy voice than normal talking Will Forte Shaggy

I can dig it

---

Still kind of underwhelmed by the Shag and Scoob disguise scene - wouldn’t it make more sense to have them like, dish up hot sauce or something on a plate that nonsensically makes the robots overheat before they discover their ruse?

Idk, maybe they’re off their game after Simon ‘Dickhead’ Cowell

---

Carlton Way - must be named after Fred’s only other voice actor, Carlton Stevens of PNSD

Also Hanna’s Barber Shop is next to Barbera’s Pizza! Cute.

And… Pitstop’s Pink Perfume ad. Wait, who is that? *assorted googling noises*

...ahhh, Penelope Pitstop from Wacky Races! Who, according to Wikipedia, was revealed to have Greek ancestry in the 2016 Wacky Raceland comic book, having been born on the island of Aegina

Now I’m wondering if we’ll see her in this too, given Cerberus...

----

Honestly kind of fascinating to see the gang with a police radio in their van

Also fascinating to see that only main characters are allowed clothing variety and texture/creases/folds

---

it’s actually really sweet to see Fred, upon hearing that Shag and Scoob are likely in danger, immediately makes a 90 degree turn in traffic

---

It looks like they changes Dee Dee’s name a hair - now it’s Dee Dee Skyes, instead of Sykes

It works well for the Falcon aesthetic, so that’s cool

----

Shaggy, after Dee Dee tells them that Dastardly’s trying to kill them: Scoob, someone thinks we’re important enough to *mimes slitting throat*!

Scooby: It’s nice to be wanted.

Excellent! This movie has captured Shag and Scoob’s blasé attitude towards death! Now we’re onto a solid Scooby film :D

Dee Dee: Hmm, I hear that!

And they even have a friend to share in their attitude! Splendid!

----

Christ, I can work photoshop better than Blue Falcon can, and I don’t even know how to use photoshop

I will give major kudos on his costume tho - it maintains the important elements of the OG Falcon, while still updating it with more bird-related aesthetic, like the feathered appearance of parts of his costume, the split cape resembling the tail feathers, and the talon gauntlets & boots. neat!

---

Yooo, Dynomutt, I thought secret identities were still a thing with Superheroes, what the hey are you doing giving it out to a duo you literally just picked up behind a bowling alley

Ngl, I’m kinda hoping we get some scenes where Dynomutt messes up a little like in the OG cartoon - this one feels really serious, which is kind of strange

---

Okay now I want to see older!Blue Falcon come in for a cameo

Mainly bc I’m getting the feeling that this one is a major dumbass, and not in the fun and friendly himbo kind of way 😑

---

Wait, THAT’S our first look at Dastardly? That’s a bit abrupt, isn’t it?

Also his ship must be pumping thousands of gallons of toxins into the air, that smoke cloud looks hideous. Forget logging into his mom’s Netflix account like the trailer said, EPA should probably be hunting him for sport with a laser cannon, jesus fcuking christ

---

Honestly kinda want a plane you can pilot like a motorbike now

---

Welp, it looks like we have a fun, mustache-twirly, puns-aplenty, loves-to-be-bad kind of villain on our hands folks! This is gonna be FUN AS HECK

---

Eurgh, this scene - the super-stiff-but-stretched-out ‘yeeurgh’ faces really squick me for some reason, but I can’t really pinpoint why

---

I have decided I highly dislike the Brian Blue Falcon, or Brian Falcon for short, and would like to see Dastardly tie him to some railroad tracks

---

North St for Heather North, and… wait… Funland Carnival? Like where Charlie the Robot hung out?

Apparently that’s in Romania.

A very yellow-greenfilter Romania at that.

 Like, I’ve seen blue washes on movies trying to portray evening in the middle of the day so they don’t actually have to shoot at night, but yellow? That’s normally used for deserts and hot days and uhhh 

NOT for evenings in a country with landscape like THIS

odd

(I mean I guess they got the mountains and trees right, but still. Yellow filters make a place look arid, which Romania is Not, to my knowledge)

----

Dude, Brian Falcon is such an idiot even Shaggy and Scooby, commonly portrayed as the idiots of Mystery Inc, look at him like he’s a moron.

(They are Not Amused.)

Also Brian Falcon is an absolute coward. That’s new. Even Shaggy and Scooby face off against the robots directly in a Whack-a-Mole game and destroy some. Dude, get your head in the fcuking game already, yikes

--

Woah, Laff-a-Lympics, Wacky Races, Hex Girls, The Banana Splits, Penelope Pitstop, Space Stars, Posse Impossible, and Hong Kong Phooey easter eggs in one shot

Geezus

--- 

Another nice moment: when cornered by Dastardly, Shaggy moves to stand in front of Scooby to protect him

---

Dastardly (to Shaggy): I don’t care about YOU. You’re not REMOTELY important!

*proceeds to shoot Shaggy THROUGH the ceiling and up into the highest car on a Ferris Wheel where Brian Falcon is hiding like a man baby*

Welp, so much for a fun and zany villain. Time for this Plush Anon to kill a bitch *cocks shotgun*

I will, too - kudos to the animators for hurting me so badly with the face Shaggy made right before being shot because

OW

---

Ehehehhehe, yess, the infamous ‘Dick’ scene

Dastardly: No, I’m a DICK. With a D!

You sure are, you sack of dildos with a D!

This scene had to be put in on purpose - if this had been released in theaters, I just know the adults would be dying in laughter 🤣🤣🤣

----

Shaggy: Brian, do something! 

Brian Falcon: Like what?

Shaggy: Like, drop some F-Bombs!

love it 😂

---

Is it like movie law now, that if there’s an action scene with a Ferris Wheel in the background, it has to fall off and roll down a mild incline like a wheel? Because it kinda feels like it

---

Aha! Dastardly said his drats! Perfection.

Now to shoot him through a ceiling to make them matter even more :D

---

OOF. 

Well that hurt. 

Poor Shaggy - basically internalizing now that he’s the worthless one and weak link of the group now that Scooby is considered more important

---

Holy fcuk I’m crying

Shaggy just broke Brian Falcon down to his deepest insecurities without even trying while talking to him

He even used the words ‘imposter syndrome’ 

Shaggy hon, you’re the best

----

Oh hey, Fred, Daphne, and Velma! It’s been a while since we saw you guys again, what are you doing?

Arguing about the metric system and realizing that Shaggy and Scooby reminding them to eat periodically helped them keep a clearer head...

And using the word ‘hangry’.

But then looking through a ridiculously cute photo album of the two and a video the gang took together (the video is honestly really heckin’ cute, 10000/10 would recommend)...

And then getting pulled over so Fred can have a brief ‘oo-la-la’ montage about the pretty blonde cop who honest-to-gods looks like a Barbie doll.

Where Daphne then describes how ugly Dastardly is...

Right before the petite blonde cop who’s maybe like 5’7” at best rips off her outfit to reveal it was Dick Dastardly this entire time, all 7ish feet of him.

And then kidnaps them all along with the Mystery Machine while he makes terribly fun dorky puns

…

...SO BACK TO SCOOBY AND SHAGGY...

---

...where Scooby is making kissy faces in the mirror while wearing his Blue Falcon uniform

Hrm, that’s not really better is it

We actually see Shaggy reading (OG) Blue Falcon’s autobiography, and making hurt but snide comments about Scooby’s ego

Which are actually pretty clever tbh

-----

Cooooooongratulations, Fred Jones! You are now officially a full-on himbo!

----

Alas, poor Daphne. While your knowledge of the tropes of your show might have served you well in other places, this was to be a theatrical release once upon a time, and so such knowledge falls to ruin.

----

You know, I just realized - we’re never really told HOW the Cerberus skulls work, both in how each skull can be used to find the others,  and, presumably, in releasing Cerberus itself. We’re given a brief glance-over of Scooby’s ancestry (and I mean REALLY damn brief), and a quick mention that these are supposed to be Cerberus’ skulls being stolen, but… that’s it. Nothing else is given. 

Now, I read the first few chapters of my SCOOB! Junior Novelization, and it actually went into further detail about the skulls themselves and what Dastardly’s initial plan was early in the book - open the gates of Hades and obtain the seas of treasure therein. It acted as an introduction both to the climatic endgame we’ll face at the end of the movie, and to Dastardly, who uses the same disguise trick he used as the Barbie cop when he stole the first one in South America. 

(They actually DID plan to use this as Dastardly’s intro, but cut this… 3 minute scene for time. Yeah. See below video for the details - honestly think they should have kept it in. Saves time later and definitely more show than tell, compared to what we got)

I feel like that would be a better introduction to him than the one we got - hell, it would have fit in quite neatly after the revamped theme song montage. They could have the scene with Dastardly finding/stealing the first skull as an introduction (as above), then have him answer a call or something. Exposit openly “You found the key! Excellent! Now where are we going next?” 

THEN cut to the diner/coffee shop scene we had earlier. We still wouldn’t know exactly what the key was/entailed off the bat, and they could still have FD&V find out on their own - maybe by hacking the little robot instead? IDK.

---

The final skull is on Messick Mountain.

Cute.

On a side note, I do love how Dastardly’s ship interior looks - very dieselpunk

---

Velma just hacked into Dynomutt… somehow, and I finally get my wacky Dynomutt shenanigans!  Hazoo!

...sadly that was really dang brief. Realistic, yes, but still too brief. 

---

Eyyyy, we finally get the whys of why Scooby is needed! … really dang fast. 

Also Fred says Jinkies. 

----

Hey, Muttley popped up! In a shrine… to his demise… that we find out he reached when Dastardly pushed him forward into the Underworld to steal the treasure of Alexander the Great in a portal he rigged up… only for both of them to find out it was a one-way deal unless they used the key to be able to come back. The key, of course, being Scooby Doo, descendent of Peritas, Alexander’s dog. 

Eh, workable enough-ish. It’s interesting to see that Dastardly, despite how much he disliked Muttley in the older cartoons, still cares about him to a certain extent. 

---

Pfff, Fred’s a poor man’s Hemsworth XD

---

Sweet, we’re in ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’ now!

---

Um

O W W W

You guys really had to do the ‘me or them’ thing with Shaggy and Scooby… and tHeN hAvE sCoObY cHoOsE tHe FaLcONs?!? Just because they said he was important as “the key” and gave him a spandex costume.

Over at least 7 years of friendship. 

Booooooooooooo

---

actually no I’m Not Done Yet

This whole scene is a mess.

Like

Shaggy’s turn was really dang fast… but I can still see how he gets to it. It’s at least a day between Scooby being chosen as a pseudo-sidekick and the island arrival, during which Shaggy’s talk with the main adult (who has taken up the mantle of his favorite superhero) essentially confirms his feelings of worthlessness and leaves him to stew for HOURS on end (on top of another adult, Dastardly, who also calls him “not even REMOTELY important” at the carnival before freaKING SHOOTING HIM THROUGH THE CEILING NO I AM NOT OVER THIS). Tie that to a teenager who also believes his only friends have come to think he’s meaningless baggage, and suddenly his entire support system is vanishing underneath him to one of his former idols without ANY sign of hesitation from Scooby’s part (with the exception of the collar scene, but I don’t think that that means the same to Scooby, given how quickly he bounces back)

Scooby tho… hrm. It could be that he’s clinging to the good feelings Brian Falcon inspires in him (by choosing him as the next possible Dynomutt), as a way to overpower how FD&V hurt him, while also building on how he came to love the duo because SHAGGY loved them so much. But the movie doesn’t frame that up… at all?? At least compared to Shaggy. 

Idk, maybe I’m missing something, but this scene is a mess through and through

Boooooo

----

Scooby: *tries to leap into Brian Falcon’s arms like he did with Shaggy but falls*

Brian: Uh, what are you doing?

Scooby: Rhaggy never missed. 

Damn straight he didn’t

---

oh hey, it’s Captain Caveman

I was wondering when we’d see him.

---

AAAUUGGHH

It’s that blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene from the trailers I sobbed over - the one with Shaggy holding Scooby’s collar

Fun fact it actuALLY FADES INTO THE FLASHBACK

THAT WAS NOT A TRAILER THING THAT’S ACTUALLY HERE IN THE MOVIE

OW

---

Oh No

Fred is here, alone, after that whole scene with Dastardly saying he had a use for Fred

...while that’s likely Dastardly in a Fred suit (that sounds creepy just typing it), I’m still going to enjoy this brief but absolutely lovely hug Shaggy and Fred share...

(seriously tho, look at this, it’s a genuinely close, squish-your-lungs-out kind of hug, I love it)

...as well as Shaggy, who's still hurt from his fight with Scooby, immediately gearing up to go help him after hearing Dastardly’s trying to kidnap him.

----

Brian Falcon and Scooby Doo now have to take on Captain Caveman in gladiatorial combat in order to claim the final skull of Cerberus

I love cartoons sometimes

----

Captain Caveman just put the smackdown on Brian Falcon and punched him into the ground up to his CHEST

Then smacked him so far into a wall he cracked the stone around him!

GodDAMN is this satisfying 😆 altho minor question here: how did he gain the rank of Captain? Do cavepeople have a naval force?

---

He just whirled Scooby around his head, then spun him so fast his costume broke off

I may have to look into some Captain Caveman stuff now, that’s fantastic

---

Shaggy and Fred - sorry, “Fred” -  just smashed through to the colosseum in the Mystery Machine

And Dynomutt just fired missiles at Captain Caveman to smash him into an Amigara-shaped hole of himself

I REALLY love cartoons sometimes

---

Oh No

Just as Shaggy starts trying to apologize, “Fred” kicks him in the back, rips off his disguise to normal Dastardly self, and kidnaps Scooby atop the skull, before revealing he destroyed the Falcon Fury jet

New tagline for this movie? Shaggy Rogers and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day

...at least the rest of the gang is back together?

---

Brian Falcon: *Immediately tries to blame Shaggy for inadvertently leading Dastardly to them, while storming up to get in his face*

Fred: *upon realizing BrianF is blaming Shaggy for everything, without a SINGLE moment’s hesitation, immediately leaps in to defend Shaggy and physically push back Brian Falcon several feet*

We stan one Himbo, theydies and gentlethem

Also?

Velma (sneering): What kind of hero blames other people for his problems? *Walks over to comfort Shaggy with Daphne, while Shaggy looks dumbfounded they’re defending him bc he also blames himself for Scooby’s kidnapping*

This. This right here, is the kind of Mystery gang content I wanna see.

I don’t care how the rest of this movie goes now, this scene right here is ambrosia to the Scooby fan’s soul, and therefore makes this entire movie worth it, outdated memes, lingo, and all

---

Cackling rn - Fred and Brian Falcon are in a point-off a la the Spiderman meme 😂

or, more specifically, the post-credits sequence of Spiderverse where they’re arguing about who started pointing first

It gets better when Velma and Daphne try to pull each other off of their pushing fight, and Velma grumbles “Toxic Masculinity” I’m crying

---

WOAH

More super Shaggy stuff here (apart from being flung through a building roof without a scratch) - he pushes apart both groups effortless, and even knocks them back several feet

If we estimate Dynomutt as… we’ll say 450 since he’s made of metal, Falcon at 220, Dee Dee at 160, that’s about 830 lbs on one side

Then Fred, Daphne and Velma on the other (hmm, 180, 150, 130?) would be around 460 lbs

Dang boi

---

Oh honey no, it’s not your fault

But dang if he didn’t get a good message from it, one I’ve done my best to transcribe here:

“I was afraid that... things were gonna change. And they did change. But like, that’s okay! People can grow. But it doesn’t mean that we’re growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that Scooby Doo is my best friend! Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he’d never leave him no matter what. And I’m gonna keep that promise! Now it’s time we stopped that mustachioed menace from opening the gates to the {underworld} and letting loose that fearsome {Cerberus}. So what do you say we get out {of here}, and go get my always-snacking, never-lacking, often-napping dog back? Who’s with me?”

Honestly not a bad message for kids. Things will change, people will change, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends. (Obvs real life exceptions apply, but that’s not a bad note honestly)

...shame that that conclusion comes right the FUCK outta nowhere

Like

How, exactly, did he come to this conclusion? WHEN? What inspired him to realize this, what was the impetus for this specific line of thought, that it’s okay for friends to change?

It kinda feels like this should have been either the happy ending speech given after they’ve saved the world, or one at the start of the third act, like if Shaggy arrives when Scooby thinks he’s chased him away and ruined everything, and Shaggy & the gang still save him. And Scooby asks him why he did that - when Scooby tried to change himself to fit what Brian Falcon wanted, instead of treasuring the friend he still had, or maybe why Shaggy reacted the way he did. THEN Shaggy gives the speech we hear, a la:

“I yelled at you because… like, because I was scared. I was scared that... things were gonna change. And they did change. But like, that’s okay! People can grow. But it doesn’t mean that we’re growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that YOU’RE my best friend! Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he’d never leave him no matter what. And I mean to keep it!” 

At least that would make a little more sense to me. Again, not a bad speech, but a little rearranging would help to really hit home. 

---

Okay, now we’re back with Dastardly in Greece, and suddenly the background people all look MILES better than the ones at the start of the movie. Did they just forget to polish the first two minutes of film, what the heck?

Also, Dastardly’s ship is literally the entire length of the Greek ruins presented o_O

---

HOLY SHIT THE SKULLS TURNED BACK TIME AND MADE THE RUINS INTO AN ENTIRELY RESTORED PALACE WITH THE GATES OF THE UNDERWORLD BEFORE THEM

They’re also colored a very atmospheric neon arrangement that’s surprisingly quite tasteful ^.^

----

The Mystery Machine can fly now!!! eeheeheeeheeheeheeheeee

----

And so we finally see Cerberus, a massive, towering figure with sharp teeth and pffffffhahahhahaa why are all three heads wearing Spartan helmets

To its credit, they’re also wearing basic body armor, wrist guards, tail spikes, etc, but the helmets are killing me 🤣 who thought to stick that onto the dog? Did Hades forget to remove the armor after winning the Gods’ Pet Costume Contest, or was it like that horse in the ATV costume - it felt safer so it didn’t let anyone take it off?

Or was this a precaution against Herakles coming back? These are questions - hilarious, hilarious questions 😁

---

Awww. Scooby immediately runs to the battered Mystery Machine to rip the doors open for the gang!

And… wait. THIS is where that wonderful hug was in the trailers? I thought that was at the end of the movie when everyone was safe!

This now does not bode well. But we’ll worry about that later. Time to enjoy this gorgeous wonderful hug of the entire gang, and Shag and Scoob apologizing to each other for fighting 🥰

Yet another scene to make the rest of this movie worth the rest

(halfway wanna frame this shit and put it on the wall, it’s that lovely)

----

Fantastic! Dastardly is now in Hell, where I’ve been wishing him this entire movie! :D

And dang… he actually apologizes to what he believes is a dead Muttley. Who is, naturally, snickering at all of this. The two bicker predictably, but eventually hug and make up, too happy to see each other to resort to old habits. Honestly a nice little scene, all-in-all. 

---

Back to the gang and they’re doing the glowy eyes in the dark bit! I actually haven’t seen that in a Scooby movie forever, it’s neat.

Also Fred is now going full Liam Neeson over his van, war paint and all, using the tire cover as a shield and… holy shit. 

HOLY SHIT

THE ASCOT IS BAAAnnnnnd it’s gone. Boy, that was… short. 

Fred just ran full-tilt at Cerberus, screaming like a mad man, before getting flicked away by its big toe, and losing the ascot and makeshift shield. It punched so hard his facepaint came off

It was fun while it lasted y’all

---

Heyyy, Shag and Scoob just came up with the plan, and it’s actually solid! I’m so proud, and so is the rest of the gang! Also willingly going to distract Cerberus while the rest figure out how to close the gate and stuff Cerberus back in

I love my boys 😊

---

Annnnd there goes Brian Falcon like the coward he is

To… call his dad? And admit he isn’t a hero.

Only for Dynomutt to point out Shaggy and Scooby are taking him on and are terrified. 

This then cuts to Shaggy and Scooby running around in a chariot and gladiator wear, running back and forth a la the door gag from Cerberus to the OG SDWAY theme

I think I love this movie

(although they’re hinting at Dynomutt being resentful of OG Blue Falcon essentially abandoning him to his incompetent son, and I really wish it had been touched upon more

that’s actually rather heartbreaking, when you stop to think about it, and there’s a lot that could be done with an additional two minutes of screentime) 

---

Huh, another good message for kids: it’s okay to fail and be scared, so long as you keep going and try to do what’s right.

Two good messages for kids in one movie. Not too shabby, on the whole. 

---

Brian Falcon just flew in and punched the three-headed dog, then jumped into its mouth as it tried to eat Scooby, resisted the MASSIVE JAW STRENGTH, and got them out of there safe and sound

Finally, something heroic!

-- 

I was wondering where Dastardly and Muttley got off to - apparently they’re off to take a money bath.

Aight

---

Shag and Scoob have now convinced the Rotten Robots to turn into bowling balls to knock Cerberus off their feet a la the classic marbles pratfall back into the underworld

That is a sentence I just wrote

----

OH FCUK NO

NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT NO

YOU ARE TELLING US THAT AFTER ALL OF THIS - ALL OF THIS - ONE OF THEM HAS TO STAY IN THE UNDERWORLD TO LOCK THE GATE

THAT OCTOBER LEAKER WAS RIGHT WHAT THE HELL

LITERALLY SO

I mean i know its a kids film specifically Scooby Doo so happy ending but what the literal FUCK

---

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGHHH

SHAGGY NOOOO

“Buddy, back when we were kids, you saved me. Now, it’s my turn.”

and he dOES THIS WHILE HOLDING SCOOBY’S HEAD TENDERLY IN HIS HANDS

AND WHEN EVERYTHING REVERTS IT’S JUST RUBBLE AND RUIN AND SCOOBY’S LEFT SOBBING OPENLY AT NOTHING

AND THE GANG ALL COME TO CLING AT HIM AND CRY OVER THEIR FRIEND WHO THOUGHT HE WAS WORTHLESS MOST OF THE MOVIE AND THOUGH THAT THE GANG THOUGHT THE SAME ABOUT HIM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH

---

WELP, TIME TO COPE WITH INAPPROPRIATE HUMOR

Shaggy: I yelled at my dog, got him kidnapped, and ended up helping the bad guy to open the gates to Hell. Guess I’ll die. 

Dee Dee: Well actually, this is more Dastardly’s fault because -

Shaggy, yelling as he slams his hand against the lock: GUESS I’LL DIE!!!

----

Ah, so the writers wrote themselves into a corner, and the only way out was a Deus Ex Machina (at least, I think I’m using that term correctly…) 

Because to get Shaggy back, a giant statue of Alexander the Great and Peritas appears out of nowhere - literally, since it definitely wasn’t there before - with an inscription Scooby has to read to get Shaggy back.

This would have been a lot more effective if we’d seen it when Dastardly arrived in Greece - maybe even as the marker for where the gate to the Underworld was. Have Alexander facing one way, and Peritas facing the other. You open the gate on Alexander’s side, and come home on Peritas’ side. Having this unfold into the gate gives it more purpose than “magically appears right the fcuk outta nowehere” and you could have a pun with the “backdoor” escape. Everybody wins!

And if that’s too good for ya, how about a brief lingering shot by it at some point as Dastardly flies into Greece, behind where the gate materializes, or directly across from it on the plaza? Maybe have one of the gang kick it after Shaggy leaves, and say ‘This is all your fault! Why would you make something like this?’

It’d still be a magical contrivance, but at least it would make some fcuking SENSE.

(Granted it DID lead to this hilariously ominous shot, so maybe I shouldn’t complain:)

---

Velma: I finally figured out what you guys are! You’re the heart of Mystery Inc.

Me: YEAH BABY! *flips over table* I’VE BEEN SAYING THAT SHIT FOR YEARS AND NOW, I’M FCUKING VALIDATED AT LAAAAAAAAST!

----

Shaggy: *rips off Dastardly’s face to reveal…*

ALL: SIMON COWELL??!?

Me, choking on food: I’m sorry WHAT?!?!?

Velma: *takes off mask again to reveal*

ALL: DICK DASTARDLY?!?

Dastardly: Drat! No one ever goes for the double unmasking. 

So I was right all along - Simon Cowell truly was a Dick this entire time.

-----

And so we close on the gang unveiling a Mystery Machine paint job on their official detective agency building, Brian Falcon living the good life as the DJ at their party, the Falcon team gifting a sleek new Mystery Machine to the gang (which honestly looks pretty unique - it’s not the classic, but it is something new that isn’t awful, so kudos there), and the gang on their way to another mystery.

So, at the end of the day is this a good Scooby movie? 

Meh? *waves hand in meh motion* But it definitely had its moments. 

This Scooby film is flawed as heck, no doubt about it - the plot has a MAJOR problem with telling instead of showing, some parts feeling out of order or WAY too short, and of course the deus ex machina ending. I honestly would have loved some more time for their first mystery as kids, where we actually got more character moments/bonding from Fred, Daphne, and Velma as they solved it the more traditional route, as well as not framing FD&V as super duper mystery solvers right off the bat??? 

The stuff with Blue Falcon isn’t AWFUL, per se, but it is ridiculously satisfying to see him get smacked around. Captain Caveman was honestly one of the funniest bits in the movie, same with Dynomutt. 

As far as the character stuff? It all felt fairly natural, progression-wise. Shag and Scoob don’t have this big break-up with the gang - they’re hurt by the literal Dickhead’s comments the gang don’t speak up against, and go to blow off some steam together. Shag and Scoob don’t have this giant blow-up argument - it builds over the film into a hurt spat they both recognize they overreacted to almost immediately. The gang (FDV) go looking for them almost as soon as they leave, and, upon hearing they’re in danger, turn and head towards them to save them, realizing how important the two are to Mystery Inc along the way. They defend each other, help each other, have some of the Best Dang Animated Mystery Inc hugs I ever did see - THIS feels more like the Gang I’ve been waiting for forever to come back to DTV (and in a rough sense, did). While I do wish we’d gotten more screen time of FD&V, what we got wasn’t too bad. 

Weirdly enough, at the end of the day, I’ve actually grown more accustomed to Forte’s Shaggy - it feels like it fits this different style a touch more than I originally thought, and holy hell if I didn’t come close to tears at that ending gate scene, he knocked that one out of the park.  Velma still doesn’t feel much like Velma, but I did get used to it by the end. I kept cracking up at Efron’s Fred, and no complaints on Seyfried’s Daphne.

Jason Isaacs as Dick Dastardly absolutely killed it. Blue Falcon Crew was okay (excepting Mark “The Racist” Wahlburg - it was just him talking, no real effort. You could recognize Wahlburg right off the bat, acting as a goofy douche) and freaking Captain Caveman was awesome. Apparently they combined both Billy West and Don Messick’s recordings for Muttley (awesome!!!), so this may very well be Don Messick’s final role in a Scooby Doo film. 

It got off to a rough start, but ended well enough. The animation was solid, the writing has some unexpectedly clever and funny moments sprinkled throughout, with some pretty fun action sequences on the side. Watching this, I really do believe that the people working on it love Scooby Doo and all things Hanna-Barbera… at least in their own way. 

I ended up buying this instead of just renting it ($5 more, why not) and I am honestly glad I did so. Despite its flaws, it has some great moments with the gang as friends, and I have been Craving That Shit for DECADES

And if these writers/directors ever did another Scooby film? I think I’d be up for giving them a chance - at least so long as we got some more absolutely BEAUTIFUL hugs with the gang

I hope you enjoyed this stream-of-consciousness reaction to SCOOB! (2020)... a whole ass year LATER, admittedly (I didn’t switch my Save Post to Queue, curse my hubris), but hopefully y’all’ve been entertained. Good night everybody!

[ceruleanchillin]

Somersault (Kirishima x Reader)

Kirishima Eijiro x F!Reader

Part of my MHA AU established previously.

Synopsis: Glimpses into you and Kiri’s relationship.

Warnings: Implied drug use, Implied smut

A/N:  I don’t really do songfics, but I will tell you Somersault by Zero 7 inspired this chapter. Recommend listening to it, cuz it gives Kiri feels.

 Does anyone else think of Kiri when they talk to jock villagers on Animal Crossing?

|  Give Love To Me |

“I thought we talked about this hmm?” Kirishima gently dabbed at your nose, eyes trained to spot any more blood.

You focused on the taste of poison that congregated at the back of your throat, the pipes that hadn’t stopped protesting since Kirishima had forced them to draw water, and the cracked window letting in chilly night air around the towel stuffed in it. Anything other than your boyfriend’s disappointed sighs and poorly hidden worry.

“Sorry Eiji….I..” you weren’t used to apologizing, or being ashamed, but Kirishima could bring emotions out of you, you didn’t know existed.

“You just made a mistake.” he kissed your forehead, and cradled you to his chest. “That’s why you get tomorrow. So you can try again.”

You sunk lower into the luke-warm water, eyes roaming up to the water stained ceiling. At the time, doing a line had sounded like the only good idea you’d ever heard, and you’d indulged, going against the promise you’d made to your boyfriend. It got you through two sets and made the packed, dingy lounge so much prettier. So much glitter. So much laughter, and it was easier to give real smiles. Why had that seemed like enough in value to disappoint Kiri?

“Hey,” he gently tapped your collarbone. “You ok? You with me?”

“Yeah.” You said hoarsely. “I won’t do it again Eiji...I won’t.” You grasped the arm slung around your torso, dragging your thumbs across the skin as fast as the water and your come down would allow.

“I know you won’t. Not my best girl.” He kissed the back of your head for a long moment, and brought you closer to his chest, caging you in his arms.

And you wondered where he got that bottomless trust from. Why was he so good, and where had he learned to be? He lived in the same streets you did, how did you catch the eye of a saint? Your eyes burned with unshed tears. How could you ever hope to be the woman he deserved?

Kirishima shushed you, rocking you gently. “You wanna tell me who gave it to you?”

Somewhere in the fog of your thoughts, you knew no matter how gently Kiri was asking, it wasn’t simply out of curiosity. “Noooo Eiji.” you slurred. “Don’t worry about it.”

He laughed. “Ok, ok.”

He hid his burning questions behind one of his lopsided grins when you turned to look back at him, trying to see if he meant it. He pressed a purposely sloppy kiss to your forehead until you giggled and squirmed to turn back around. Only then did he let his grin drop.

| The Sticks and Stones |

You were achy, you were chilly, and your stomach kept threatening to make you vomit if you didn’t keep focused on not doing so. You were ready to consider it penance for breaking your promise to your boyfriend, but he’d said “no way!” and saddled you with your favorite warm drink. All-in-all, it wasn’t the best day to be a mover, even if that was the only price for four weeks free crashing.

“So you’re just going to sit there?” Robbie, a friend of Kirishima’s and fellow freelance bouncer, stood in front of you.

You gave him a look that said you thought he was worth less than the effort it took to do so, before pushing your shades up, and severing eye contact.

“Look Primadonna, you’re crashing with us. The least you could do is pitch in.”

You crossed your legs and continued to nurse your latte. Robbie didn’t know it, but the bigger fit he threw, the less likely you’d be to help. And you weren’t planning on it in the first place.

Robbie growled in frustration, and kicked the trunk you were sitting on.

“Hey,” Kirishima grabbed his shoulder and pulled him away, wearing his signature grin, though it was strained. “Lot of stuff still in the truck, let’s finish up.”

“That’s just what I was telling HRH over here.” Robbie jammed his thumb in your direction.

“Don’t worry about her.” Kirishima gave him another grin, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m doing the bulk of the work anyways. I’m working for both of us.”

Robbie threw his hands up in frustration and walked over to the moving truck. His girlfriend had been glaring at you, wanting you to wilt under her stare. You lowered your shades, made eye contact, and maintained it while you lit a cigarette.

“Hey, come on.” Kirishima kneeled in front of you. “We gotta be here for a while. Try to get along.”

You exhaled a white cloud into the cold air, aiming it at Robbie’s girlfriend who was in the process of whining about how “trash” you were.

“I like it when it’s just us Kiri.”

“I know.” he sighed, palms rubbing your chilled kneecaps attempting to bring them warmth. “But this is where we’re at for a while. Remember I told you Bakugo, Midoriya, and I are working on a place-”

“They hate me,” you cut him off, pushing your shades back up. “Especially their girlfriends.”

“They don’t hate you baby,” Kirishima nuzzled your cheek, using that tone he did when he thought you might be hurt. “They just don’t really know you that well.”

Kirishima gave you a grin, this one real, in an attempt to reassure you. He was beautiful, always using his energy to make sure you were secure. It made you feel selfish and ungrateful, and something ugly roared to life within you. It made you want to say something, someone’s name, you knew would hurt him.

“If you would’ve sold what I had left over we’d be better off, but you’re so fucking opposed and moral when it suits you. Pfft.” you took a long drag. “Take care of me my ass. I should’ve gone to Dabi or Hawks.”

Kirishima looked like a kicked puppy, and your entire being clenched in response. That ugly thing inside had gone dormant and left you in the grip of guilt and self-resentment.

You stubbed out your cigarette, and carelessly placed your latte aside. “Oh Kiri,” you gripped his cheeks. “I can be such a bitch...I didn’t mean any of it, I’m sorry.”

He didn’t say anything, and that twisted your insides more. Your desperation made you babble almost uncontrollably.

With shaky hands you shoved your shades onto your head, and pressed your lips to his. “I’m sorry. You’re doing great Kiri, you’re doing great for me. I need you to believe me..don’t listen to me when I’m..”

“I know that’s not really you (Y/N),” he kissed both of your knees, making you go quiet. “Not the real you. She’s still a work in progress, but she’s beautiful.”

You bit your lip hard to fight spouting another word stream. More apologies danced with words of self-criticism on your tongue, begging to be spoken. You wanted him to call you out. You wanted him to find something ugly in himself and take revenge. He would never though. That wasn’t your Kiri, and that revelation only made your hands ache to pull your shades back over your eyes.

“She’s a coffee addict, she takes her showers cold, and she always eats off my plate, even when hers is right there.”

A small smile surfaced at his words, but you could still feel anxiety and regret twisting your insides.

As always, Kiri was in tune with you, and took your hands. “But I love her, and I don’t let anyone call her a bitch. Not even herself.”

| The Unknown and Home |

Kirishima liked bouncing well enough. He’d always been able to take a punch, he was great in a fight, and he liked defending people. It didn’t pay the best in the world, and he saw ugly parts of the city he wished he hadn’t, but he liked it.

Then he met you, and he loved it. The nights where the two of you worked the same club or lounge were his favorite. He often got chewed out by his bosses for being distracted, but that was ok. Kirishima thought you had to be blind or deaf not to be when you took the stage.

Soft songs where you skillfully played your voice up to crack at certain parts, fast songs where Kirishima would have to continuously adjust himself because of your hip movements. He loved it all when it came to your singing.

His enthralled expression slowly changed to one of rage. You were skillfully dodging the hands of an admirer in the crowd, while continuing your song, and the roll of your hips. He wasn’t the only one to appreciate your musical talent and the person it came from. Some were more enthusiastic in their appreciation than others, and that’s when Kirishima took on a vastly different character.

You wore a shimmery gold slip dress like it was made for you, and not stolen from a store across town. Yes, he would admit, under the changing lights you looked ethereal. The problem was, like a porchlight, you were attracting pests, and he couldn’t have that.

The greasy hand that had been reaching for you hung at an awkward angle only seconds later. Kirishima only faintly heard the crunch and your distressed “Eiji!” as he assumed a fighting stance. He’d known creepy patrons to be able to fight through almost anything.

Somehow, the creep had friends, and they were loyal. He was in too deep by that point, and treated them all like they were their friend.

---

Two bouncers, three barflys, a bartender, and an angry interrupted singer swinging the mic stand made quite the mess. The kind of mess that gets the singer and her boyfriend fired without pay and banned from the establishment.

You huffed your exasperation as you accepted half of his adrenaline-drained weight on the walk home. You could feel how proud of himself Kirishima was, and it made you feel like starting another fight.

“That was so manly the way you decked that guy with the bottom of the mic stand babe.” he murmured.

You could hear Kiri falling in love with you all over again, and as endearing as you found it, you were missing a shoe and a job now.

“I swear only you could eat that many hits and stay up to deal them back. You must be made of rock or some shit.” you huffed again, and tightened your hold around his waist.

“Not quite.” he chuckled and it was then you noticed him grasping his side. What you thought had possibly been bruised ribs could be worse.

“Oh shit,” you stopped abruptly, catching more of his weight at the sudden stop, and almost falling. “Did you get stabbed?!”

“Nooo.” he waved you off, and sighed painfully at the action. “Just scratched, deeply.”

You hobbled in uneven height around him, mind racing to think of a street doctor that owed you a favor in case he was lying. Fortunately he wasn’t.

“I’ll be ok. I heal pretty great, remember?” he grinned a proud, boyish grin, and you felt like you might be falling in love with him all over again too. But you were still pissed.

“You better. I might feel like beating your ass too.” You let him lean into you again as you began your awkward walk back to a borrowed home.

“I’d let you.” he chirped, laying his head on your own.

---

Patching Kiri up always seemed so useless by the time you got around to it. He stopped feeling pain faster than anyone you’d ever seen, high or sober. By morning his bruises would be a memory he’d barely remember. The only thing to keep an eye on was the cut, which you would, even if it wouldn’t be obvious to anyone but Kiri. He brought out something nurturing in you that was so powerful and foreign, it frightened you, but you were powerless against it.

Kirishima had fought you the whole time, wanting to focus on your minor nicks and scrapes, but you won out like always. You wanted to be homebase to him for a change, whether he felt he deserved that or not.

He was too tired to efficiently put up a fight, and by the time you were done, he’d crashed heavily right there in the corner of the couch.

“I wanted to cuss at you some more.” you murmured mirthfully, brushing drooping red strands from his forehead.

Checking him once more, and realizing you’d done about as well as you could, you fell onto the other side of the couch. Kiri would find his way to you eventually after you both found sleep. For the moment you were going to try to find a comfortable spot on the lumpy nightmare couch, and mourn your lost income.

You spent the better part of thirty minutes trying to assure yourself the opposite of what you knew to be the truth. You were temporarily burned on the nightclub circuit for that evening’s antics. Several hushed phone calls were made, each ending when your pride forced it. You wouldn’t beg when that had never gotten you anywhere before.

Your higher mind cursed you now that you’d be relying primarily on Kiri’s other job for income. It didn’t matter how many times Kirishima said you could rely on him, you hadn’t raised yourself that way, and you couldn’t afford to slack.

No one would call Bakugou divine, except maybe his airhead girlfriend, but he turned out to be the answer to your prayers that evening. He arrived with a pound to the door that you swore sounded like an explosion, his signature knock, and you quickly tried to mitigate any chance of him waking Kirishima.

You slid across yellowed linoleum on socked feet, and cracked the door.

“Come back tomorrow, he’s sleeping and you’re not waking him up.”

You caught his brow twitching in irritation at being told what to do. “Where do you think I’m gonna store this shit?”

He shook a worn duffle bag full of what you knew to be stolen goods.

“I don’t car-”

“Stop being a bitch and get out of the way.” he shoved the door, and you had no hope of stopping him from coming in, but you still grasped his bicep defiantly.

“Don’t.Wake.Him.” you dug your nails into hard muscle and narrowed your eyes.

“He’s gotta move quickly on some of this. Kirishima may have told you the sun rises out of your ass, but it doesn’t, and the rest of us have to survive too.” he stalked over to your sleeping boyfriend, fully prepared to punch him awake.

“Wait don’t!” you barely contained your voice to a loud whisper. “He’s tired, leave him alone.”

He growled low in his throat. “I already told yo-”

“I’ll do it.”

“What?” he snorted, but his face was blank. “You don’t know what you’re doing. You’re liable to get us all burned or worse, go to that shitty patchwork quilt fuck you used to run with.”

“I’ve been on the streets long enough jackass, and I’ve seen Kiri do it a million times. I know what’s worth what and who wants it.” you bristled at him throwing your past connections back in your face. “And not that it’s any of your business, but I don’t deal with him anymore.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes, not interested, and you regretted even answering that. He studied you for a moment, and the flexing of his hand let you know he was mulling it over.

You decided not to wait, grabbing the bag and beginning to drag it into the kitchen. As expected, Bakugo rushed you for his ill-gotten goods.

You jutted your chin up at him. “I can do it. Just let him rest, it’s been a long night.”

He glared at you, judging you in a way that no longer made you want to punch him, before speaking. “Fine, but we’re staying to make sure you don’t fuck it up.”

“We’re?” your face crumpled in confusion, then realized he meant his girlfriend and grimaced. ‘For Kiri.’ you thought.

“Whatever.”

---

On any other day Bakugou would loudly and proudly admit he couldn’t stand you. You were convinced he and the gang hated you, that they thought you were cold and you were mostly correct. They loved Kirisihima and he’d made it clear you two were a package deal. He could remember the one and only time Kirishima got violent with him, and it was because he’d called you several nasty names in one fell swoop when he’d been drinking. He remembered laying in his car that night wondering what the fuck about you had his best friend so gone.

That night he thought he’d finally gotten a glimpse. Beaten up, and clearly tired yourself, you were forcing yourself to carefully build an inventory out of the stolen goods he and Midoriya had acquired the previous three nights. You told him what happened at the lounge, and he knew you probably wanted to crash right next to Kirishima, but you wouldn’t. You wanted to take care of him. Watching you squinting your tired eyes in the dim light of that shitty closet kitchen, he decided his friend may not be such a dumbass after all.

| Somersault In Sand With Me |

“Eiji…no, I’m still sore.” you murmured sleepily, curling into a ball under the thin quilt.

Kirishima poked your side again, muffling a laugh. “That’s not what I want babe. Well..yeah I always want that-”

“I know.” you gently kicked back at him, hiding a tiny grin in your pillow.

“I want you to come somewhere with me, it’s important.”

He sounded so uncharacteristically serious, that you allowed yourself to be fully pulled from sleep. You sat up, reaching for your phone charging on top of your bag by the couch.

Exactly 3 a.m.

“Eijiro I swear to god…”

“It’s important, fence’s honor. Now get your cute ass out of bed.” he tackled you in a warm embrace, spread kisses across your cheeks, and released you to get up from the couch bed.

You dropped your phone back into your bag with a groan. It was amazing how out of character this man could make you.

Kirishima helped you get dressed, smirking every time he noticed your slight limp. For every smirk you bit him, and he kissed you. It went against every independent bone in your body, but Kiri dressing you felt like heaven. His soft kisses on your thighs when he helped you slide into your leggings, the soft coos and admissions of love as he slipped you into one of his sweatshirts, and the gentle cradling of your feet as he slipped your feet into your shoes. You couldn’t even be grumpy, not when your personal sunbeam was looking at you like he received his life from you.

Kirishima led you out of the apartment, and before you knew it, he’d scooped you onto his back, threatening to drop you if you didn’t hold on. He took off at full speed with your surprised blend of laughter and shouts behind him.

You barely had any time to work out where he might be taking you that wasn’t planned at that hour before he arrived at the destination. An elementary school playground.

He stooped, allowing you to slide off his back, which you did with confusion. “What’s here Eiji?”

“Everything!” he chirped like it was so simple to see.

You blinked up at him trying to gauge whether he had the signs of having something in his system.

“Come on, we would’ve killed for this as kids. We get the whole place to ourselves, what do you wanna do first?”

“Crack your head open and examine the insides.” you scowled. “I was sleeping, and you want to do what exactly?”

“You’re so adorable when you’re cranky, you’re adorable anytime bu-”

“Kiri…” you narrowed your eyes, contemplating following through on your threat.

Kirishima’s face went blank, but his expression soon returned as a wide grin. “Oh I get it babe, that’s your pride talking. If you’re too afraid of looking uncool….”

“Pfft!” you shot him an incredulous look. “Nice try. Here’s where I try to prove you wrong, thus falling into the trap right?”

“No, my woman’s much too smart for that.” his grin curled into a smirk. “Here’s where I snatch your precious beret and make you chase me for it.”

Before you could register what he said, he followed through and yanked the hat from your head. He took off across the grass laughing almost manically with genuine joy. He was so adorable, it almost made you forget how long you saved for that beret. Almost.

You launched after him, shouting vulgar threats the whole way.

“Come on babe, we do kinkier stuff than that all time, really make me feel it!” he laughed, taking the steps to the pirate ship playhouse two at a time.

“Well, remember it fondly, because that’s over now hammerhead!” you leapt at him only to have him dodge you.

“Then what do I have to live for?” his face contorted into a mock pout. “I should just walk the plank now.”

Eiji doged another lunge from you and jumped from the toy plank that barely hung above the ground. You landed after him shortly and continued to chase him while he waxed poetic about his life being over if he could ‘never take you again’. Between laughter at his silly proclamations and failed lunge attempts, your lungs were on fire. That didn’t stop you from giving the chase your all. Around the merry-go-round, an almost win in the sandbox, an attempted cut off under the jungle gym. You eventually thought of a way to end it by fighting dirty.

Eijiro was headed for the animal-shaped spring riders, and right as he got close you shouted. “Time out Eiji my shirt tore off!”

“Wha-” he looked back at the right time to hit a pink seal and flip over it, landing on his back.

You jogged over, smirking at your win, no matter how ill-gotten.

“Not manly babe,” he groaned, sitting up to rub his back. “Not at all.”

“I caught you!” you laughed, straddling his waist to prevent any escape attempts.

“You did.” he said softly, gazing at you with a look that took your breath away.

It said everything he couldn’t say. Not because he was afraid to, never Eijiro, but because he couldn't always find the words to. That he couldn’t believe he found you, and would die if he lost you. That he was so yours, he felt like he always had been, even before he knew life. That you were his world and you were more than enough for him. You were everything to him.

“Always catch me...yeah?” he placed the beret on your head gently, before he placed a hand to your cheek.

“Always.” you got out around the lump in your throat. Instinct made you hold back your tears, Eijiro’s love made them fall.

-----

End Note:

If you want to let me know what you think should happen in the Midoriya chapter, my inbox is open (with anon on). The established AU is (here).

Dabi is next.

[secretbranch]

LRR OF THE SPARK

Okay, so in a recent live TCC, LRR was asked what planeswalkers they associate with “everyone in LoadingReadyRun”, and they gave some great answers, so I wanted to compile them as well as add my own opinions, so without further ado....

(also note that race/gender don’t factor here) Graham (Garruk)

Graham has cosplayed as Garruk for videos before, and you can totally see it. They also threw around the idea of Angrath, which I will admit I like better, but I also know that, for better or for worse, due to recent developments, Graham has cemented himself into the mono green man of the wild. (Plus, I wanted to use the stained glass art versions of all the walkers, and then I realized Graham was Garruk rip #whereareyougarruk) Paul (Karn)

You could argue that Paul is some sort of blue mage because of his endless experimentation in Friday Nights, but while Karn may not approve of some of Paul’s designs, he would appreciate the effort. Also, I mean, Paul’s card in Friday Nights is colorless for a reason, right? James (Angrath)

Alright, so a bunch of names were thrown around for James (Nicol Bolas, Gideon, Ajani [because he’s so supportive {sarcasm}]), and I personally didn’t think any of them fit. I then remembered a conversation I heard on stream (can’t remember exactly when, otherwise I’d link it), but someone referred to James as “Kind of a dick, but still has a heart of gold”, and that made me think of Angrath’s story from Ixalan, and I realized he was the perfect fit. Also, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard someone in chat say that James would make a great dad, I wouldn’t be yet another broke millennial, hahah. Ha.

Kathleen (Sorin)

This is one where you may have a different opinion than the LRR friends. Whether or not you consider it low-hanging fruit, you may have thought of Liliana first. While I do admit there is some merit to Kathleen being our goth queen, wielding her horde of Brave New Faves listeners against the forces of evil, a helpful, totally extra edgelord is not far off either.

Alex (Saheeli)

Alex was the first of a couple people whom I almost gave Tibalt. Early Friday Nights had him pinned as some sort of Rakdos Madman obsessed with explosives, sort of like if a goblin was a person. But, frankly, I don’t think the Demon Prince fits Alex very well. Alex is super creative, which you know if you’ve seen his art or his comics. He’s also been referred to as a “meme nexus”, and has a lot of information stored in his brain (which paved the way for the discussion of “Alex-isms”). His ability to create and appreciation of the world around him s very reminiscent to me at least of Saheeli. Plus, Alex doesn’t give a shit about your gender norms anyway. Fuck ‘em.

Cameron (Tamiyo)

Books? Notes? Yep, that’s Cam. Also, without a doubt, some of the deepest cuts and references you will ever hear on LoadingReadyRun have been from Cameron. He is the longest running co-host of a show where they analyze video games as art. Come on, the similarities keep coming. Also, Cam would totally be down to say “fuck your gender norms”. He is beauty, he is grace, and yet he will trip and fall and somehow find a way to land directly on his funny bone.

Ian (Daretti)

As discussed in the video, Ian is absolutely the tinkering goblin madman that turns into an evil genius in the sequel. Like, the show is LITERALLY called TINKER Tailor Solder Fry. Not to mention Daretti’s other quality: D E C A D E N C E. Some goblins will settle for any trash. Daretti only settles for the highest quality of trash. I feel like this statement highly resonates with Ian. Plus, there’s probably some “waifu is trash” joke that I’m missing since I don’t watch anime, but regardless: perfect fit.

Cori (Huatli)

They almost said Vivien, but then Cam pointed out (and I totally agree) that Cori would have red or blue in her color identity. So, here is Cori! She’s super helpful and friendly and wholesome, and she also reins Ian in when he goes a little too off the rails. That being said, Cori has been known to go off the rails a little herself, and is super creative, so Huatli seems like a nice match.

Beej (Sarkhan)

So this was what the LRR folks picked at the panel, and it catches a lot of people offguard. The universal first response I think is Tibalt, E̻̻͙̭̼̅́ͯ̒ͅX̸̠̫̟̙̣̮͔ͬͯ̈́ͤͤP͌ͨͫ̄́͏̠͉Eͦͨͨ͊͂̓҉̱R̷̠͔̮̲̥̘͚̄̈́̅ͧ̇̃I̲̙̗͇͌ͮ̃́̚E̢͇̝͆ͪ̑̌ͧͮ̎NC̓̒̐͆͐͂ͭ҉̥̺̞E̠͖̐͊ͬ̔̐͊̎̕ ̮̪͒ͣ́͗͆̆̏͠B̥͍̳̲̠̳̀̓̏ͥͮ̈́ͣE͇̳̫͙͕ͅͅE͈̱̜͈̱̱̲J̼̉̔ͅ and all that. But, after thinking about it, Sarkhan is a rambling madman who turned out to know more about the universe than almost anyone, and isn’t that in the spirit of E̻̻͙̭̼̅́ͯ̒ͅX̸̠̫̟̙̣̮͔ͬͯ̈́ͤͤP͌ͨͫ̄́͏̠͉Eͦͨͨ͊͂̓҉̱R̷̠͔̮̲̥̘͚̄̈́̅ͧ̇̃I̲̙̗͇͌ͮ̃́̚E̢͇̝͆ͪ̑̌ͧͮ̎NC̓̒̐͆͐͂ͭ҉̥̺̞E̠͖̐͊ͬ̔̐͊̎̕ ̮̪͒ͣ́͗͆̆̏͠B̥͍̳̲̠̳̀̓̏ͥͮ̈́ͣE͇̳̫͙͕ͅͅE͈̱̜͈̱̱̲J̼̉̔ͅ?

Heather (Jaya)

This was another personal pick of mine, and I really like it. Cute but fierce is something I can totally see describing Heather. Like, Heather definitely has this very loving, innocent mindset, but anyone who has seen enough Rhythm Cafe knows that that statement isn’t entirely true. She also seems like someone who will fiercely protect her friends, and that’s something Jaya can definitely get behind.

Serge (Yanggu)

You knew it was coming. How could you not see it coming; the adorable doggo-wielding cinnamon roll who can surely kill you with his boyish smile while simultaneously actually killing you? Everyone in chat always protects Serge when bullies like Adam or James show up, even when Serge was sassing them seconds before. Also, Yanggu is a green mage, and we all know how Serge feels about lands.

Ben (Chandra)

In the words of Kathleen: “THIS ONE IS MY FINEST HOUR!!!!” Think about it. Ben has always said he’s most closely aligned with Red and Green, and here’s this planeswalker that can be both a wild child and super wholesome. Also, canonically a member of the LGBT+ community. ALSO, you KNOW Chandra is super supportive of people when she’s not immolating them. I didn’t even think of the Zippotricks McEdgelord thing until I was halfway through this. His individuality, his creativity, he is Chandra in disguise.

Adam (Koth of the Hammer)

Beefcake of the Mountains? Adam Savidan??? Absolutely. I will admit, this is what LRR said, and I would have gone for someone a little more studious since I know that’s a lot of the Adam we don’t see on camera, but as for what we DO see, hell yeah. I also find it hilarious that the guy acting as the conductor for the WE’RE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE train wasn’t even in War of the Spark. Rip in pieces, Koth. Matt G (Ral)

I’ll be honest, at time of posting, Matt is still fairly new to streams, and I haven’t seen a lot of stuff he’s done, but I’ve seen his personality through his editing (which is always amazing btw), and his creativity and very open personality is expressed greatly in Ral. Plus, I mean, when there’s low-hanging fruit, sometimes you’ve just gotta give the gay boi the gay boi.

(Bonus Friday Nights A-LRR-mni)

(Note that this is mainly their Friday Nights Personalities) 

Jer P. (Teferi)

Super organized, methodical, intelligent. Who the heck is WILLING to sort their cards, let alone OTHER PEOPLE’S? Jer has had to since move on from LRR, which is sort of like Teferi retiring from planeswalking.  And I mean, come on.

Matt W. (Ob Nixilis)

Hear me out. I’m not saying Matt is a demon. I am saying he is absolutely Ob BEFORE he broke the contract. Throughout his episodes in Friday Nights, he is ob-sessed (don’t you love my puns?) with winning. Furthermore, like Ian, decadence is a word that comes to mind when you consider the way he talks. A very sinister villain is Wiggins who returns every time we go back to Zendikar (or have a Desert Bus, but you get it) And that’s it!!! This was a fun homage as well as a much needed trip down memory lane. Hope everyone enjoys, while I know folks will disagree with my picks. Don’t forget to check out all of the links I hid in here. Big thanks to LRR for existing and being so wholesome and good. You guys rock.

[yunhycran-blog]

( the cuteST )

for once i don’t have a long ass spiel typed before introducing myself, imagine that ! hey i’m kat, i’m 20, canadian, and uh, i’m rly pulling this stunt again huh !! bc of lo siento fucking me up, i’m giving this brat one last shot in the group rp realm rather than pick up a new muse ( i am.. v convinced i kill or ruin rps by presence alone but with her ?? it’s tenfold so fingers crossed GKSKGKSL ) i’m just.. rly attached to her ok. 

i’m a uni student and in love with sowoo if that wasn’t already obvious, plus i’m 90% sure at least a quarter of you have seen me use hyeran before so this shouldn’t be a surprise to you SDKGJGKLDFS. you can find extras abt her — including stats — HERE, hmu on d*scord if you’d like ( STREAM LO SIENTO !!#2030 ) and with that, i’ll shut up and ( re ?? perhaps ? dfgjslkg ) introduce you to this brat !

` +⬦･ﾟ——— SHE/HER, PANSEXUAL — YUN HYERAN is said get mistaken for JEON SOMIN on campus all the time. they are TWENTY-TWO and about to go into their SENIOR YEAR. rumour has it they’re majoring in MUSIC COMPOSITION and came all the way from DAEGU, SOUTH KOREA. their roommate says they’re EBULLIENT & RESOLUTE but also SELF-CRITICAL & CIRCUMSPECT. ( kat, 20, gmt-3:30, and she/her  )

yun hyeran, a daegu native with an older and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

tbh this is a copied intro from a few months back that i tweaked a bit for the rp, and i don’t have the time to perfectly incorporate much of her bg, so you can check out all of that HERE

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older brother, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her brother’s still exists, albeit barely. he’s a bit of a toxic influence on her, or at least that’s how she perceives it, and she tends to distance herself from him

would visit jeju island when she was younger bc her aunt lived there

she adores said aunt, her dad’s sister and the maternal figure she Deserves, so overall jeju holds a special place in her heart

went to uni in seoul to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) but transferred to busan u after some.. shit and her own feelings ? anyways she was content when she settled here and soon found her way into the world of production !! by junior year, she’d transferred out of her original program and majored in that instead and has loved it ever since

for the time being, she works full-time as a barista at a café off-campus

she’s also making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music, something she’s had for abt a year now

she’s not even close to making it big yet ofc, and she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

this is so short since i took out a bit from when she was recent uni grad!hyeran so, pardon that sgkljgskfld

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s a very loyal person, v e r y. while like i said ( and will elaborate on in her bio ), her relationship with her brother is Not Great, she hasn’t completely given up on him. maybe for the time being — by that i mean another two years or so ?? LJSKSDFGJ my baby’s still hurt by his bullshit so — but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line, leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind if he does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little naive and is a p gentle soul ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

don’t confuse that with her being v forgiving, weak, etc, etc. she’s a soft bitch, p vulnerable too ngl but.. she’s not that Dumb sdljfkg

speaking of vulnerable, she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

spontaneous tbh, transferring to busan was a little last minute on her part, for one

she’s a bit reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? those first few points above mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

v strong overall, takes people’s shit and if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast. doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

positive, ugh. maybe not sickeningly sweet, but.. still dgklsf

don’t confuse that with optimism tho, bc she’s a bit of a defensive pessimist deep down, with her optimistic side always trying to overpower it

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone

uhhh

has a good understanding of english, her mom’s an american national so she grew up with it being spoken in the house at times

prob speaks it better than i speak french ( and uh, i studied that for almost ten fucking years with a shit end result on that end of things LKSDFGJGDKF ), but still wouldn’t consider herself fluent

.. i would tho js

plays piano and bass guitar, but knows her way around a flute and tenor sax ( you don’t know how tempted i was to say clarinet as an homage to jiwoo gjflkgds )

prob had some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten back in daegu ( i’m shit with pet names so if lucy sounds lacklustre.. you know why rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses somin wears a lot ?? hyeran wears them too but.. actually needs them for reading and especially while she’s working on shit on her laptop, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, just a bit, but god help her nonetheless

her favourite subject in hs was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks at the café, even took up a couple of courses since attending uni

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic but.. i’ve gotta get myself together for the day so this’ll do for now i hope ??

so if you’d like to plot, im me here or on d*scord ! i prefer the latter personally, but whichever’s easiest for you. i have a list of a few of the specific wcs i have in mind ( for the time being, catch my lazy ass avoiding listing all the basic ones and revising a few i have on an old blog ) for hyeran up now, which you can find here, so just lmk if any of them appeal to you !!

[hotarubi-e]

Red rain runs down between us

Request: College! Klance! Keith and lance are playing around and lance manages to break Keith's nose, blood, possible vomiting, and lance feeling real real bad

‘Lance! Lance, for christ sake let -!’

‘What was that, Keith? I didn’t hear you ~’

A brief, maddened muffle flowed from behind Lance’s fingers, which in turn covered Keith’s mouth, shutting out all sounds bar the few feather light reverberations bouncing in his chest. Lance’s laugh barked throughout the quad at the tiny indignant squawks trying their best to leave Keith’s lips, enjoying the way his eyes flashed hot with danger as they glared up at him.

He had Keith in a headlock. For the first time in their three year long wrestling match that they sometimes called a life, Lance was winning. And he had only had to play a little dirty.

After their morning classes, Lance had lured Keith to the quad under the false pretences of wanting to spend their free hour studying in the sun, before - and with a move that Lance would have dubbed nearing superhuman - diving on Keith’s back from above. Thanks to Lance’s tree-climbing aid, he had taken Keith to the ground in no time at all, and had since refrained from letting his boyfriend out of the full-body suppression he was using to keep Keith from his ‘rightful’ retaliation.

Keith, however, did not see this as fair. Nudging his tongue from between his lips, he licked it length ways across Lance’s palm, grinning in a form of affection-born sadism at the ear-splitting squeal jutting like a poker from Lance’s lungs. It worked like a dream - within moments, Keith’s face was free of all forms of finger-related restrictions, and he used the new-found freedom to bite down hard on the arm still being used to restrain his shoulders.

‘Keith! Fu-! Oh my god, oh my god stop with the TEETH!’

A laughter like bubbles rose from Keith’s mouth, distracting him momentarily from his mission - just long enough to shoot a glare so rich in ‘really?’ that Lance couldn’t help but realise the connotations of what he had just screamed across the quad.

A beat passed before the embarrassment threw Lance bodily into the most intense blush of his recent life, forcing him to sound a chocking noise more akin to a dying woodland animal than a human. Keith suppressed a snort - badly - before glancing up from where he was held to look around at the staring faces of those unfortunate enough to be within earshot.

‘Fancy letting me go now that you’ve suitably embarrassed yourself?’ he teased, winding his arm up at an uncomfortable angle to prod Lance pointedly in the ribs. Lance huffed in a combination of agitation and discomfort before tightening his hold on Keith’s person.

‘Not a chance, you asshole - that was your fault! And anyway, consider this payback!’ To emphasise his words, he lowered his stance closer to the ground, forcing Keith into a painfully tight crouch.

‘Ah-! Okay, okay, Lance - I give, I give!’ he yelled, bracing against the burn in his legs as his muscles fought the urge to crumble beneath him. Lance gave a snicker in response, feeling not even a shred of the sympathy Keith would have liked to see from the man he foolishly loved.

‘Nope. Not letting you go, Kogane - you asked for this, you devilishly handsome gremlin, you,’

‘You- you can’t force me into a position like this and then compliment me you goddamned quiznak!’

‘I don’t think you’re using that word correctly ~’

Keith finally failed to suppress his snort, and decided that drastic measures were called for. Angling his body just so, he hooked his foot behind Lance’s ankle and manoeuvred his weight, seeking to dislodge the centre of gravity Lance had seemingly settled into.

With a yelp of rushing adrenaline, Lance stumbled backwards, tumbling in his attempt to continue his upright existence, but with an overwhelming appearance of dread within his brain, he realised the futility of the action. And so it was with said realisation swimming in his brain, that he watched the sky fly from his periphery and into his primary line of sight as his back collided hard with the pavement conveniently situated behind him.

The wind rushed from his lungs in a particularly pained ‘oomph’ that left him gasping. For a moment his vision swirled, righting itself as rapidly as it had been unseated, and he shook his head free of the lingering faeries of light dancing in his sight.

‘Oh my God, Keith..’ he breathed, levering himself up from where he lay over Keith’s still prostrated body. ‘you’re a jackass, I hope you know that.. I could have died!’

But Keith’s witty and satirical response didn’t come. In fact, Lance could hear nothing from his better half other than a low keening breath that seemed to rumble from the very core of his being. Turning on his hip, Lance glanced over his shoulder to inspect his still-stationary boyfriend.

Keith was crumpled on the ground behind him, body bent double at the waist, head tucked neatly between his knees with arms raised to conspicuously cup his face.

‘Keith?’ Lance asked, voice slow and hand slower as it reached out to stroke nervously at Keith’s gently jittering back. But the sharp pull of Keith’s muscles beneath his hand had him jolting away in alarm. ‘Keith - baby, if you’re messing with me, I swear -‘

A tiny pitter patter of blood ran down from where Keith’s hands still cupped his face, landing like tiny raindrops on the asphalt they sat against, and that was all it took to catapult Lance’s heart into an overdrive that he was secretly sure would see it hurling from his chest in a matter of moments. Fear replaced adrenaline, and with a panic Lance had never known, his hands acted on impulse as they pulled Keith by the arms up and around until he faced him, eyes popping wide.

Keith’s face was a dazed mess of blood and bruises, forming fast and thick around the edges of his eyes, dark and daunting against the pale, sickly sheen coating his skin.

‘Fuck -! Shit, Keith! Oh my God, oh -! God, baby - I’m so sorry!’ his words were a garbled cascade, running rampant and free in lieu of all higher forms of thought. His brain had ceased to function, and with that evidently affecting his ability to reason, he reached out to pry Keith’s fingers away from his face, letting lose a full torrent of blood, red rain pouring down from where his hands had held it in place. The action seemed to end the stasis Keith’s own brain had succumbed to, and with a strangled shout, he pitched forwards as though in an effort to catch the fluids lost from his veins. Lance’s fingers fluttered around him, unsure of what to do.

‘L-Lance..’ Keith spoke, but not with a voice that Lance recognised. Usually melodic and clean, Keith’s voice had come out with a level of nasal congestion Lance had thought was reserved for movies alone. But the worst part was the bubbling follow-up as Keith breathed a sigh fuelled by pain that blew into the wall of blood falling past his lips. Tiny red spurts burst into the air, sickening Lance at the sight. ‘..m-my nose -‘

‘Babe - shit… I-I got you, okay? We’ll… we’ll get you to the hospital, alright? Just.. hold on,’

‘No! No, no, no, no, no!’ Keith’s protests had come as Lance’s hands attempted to remove him from his spot on the pavement, and Lance immediately let him go. ‘Don’t -! D-don’t move me, oh my God, don’t move me, i-it hurts..’

‘Keith, baby, we gotta move, okay? W-we gotta get you to a doctor. I think you’re nose it broken..’ he said, with a wave of guilt overwhelming as it was spurring, rushing through his system. He had hurt Keith. He had broken his nose and instigated the waterfall of blood still rushing from his face like some kind of macabre b-movie massacre scene.

‘No.. Lance - I don’t wanna move… don’t - oh.. God..’ his whine was punctuated with a gurgle of his gut, and before Lance could comprehend the course of events, Keith was once again pitching onto his side as his head flinched with a retch loud and ghastly. The blood leaking from his face was mixed disgustingly with a steady stream of stomach acid and regurgitated food as Keith’s stomach protested the pain firing like a flare in his skull.

All Lance could do was watch, well aware of the steadily growing crowd forming around them as onlookers vied for a prime position to view the scene. A strange hand fell hard onto Lance’s shoulder, startling him from his slump of self hatred and regret.

‘Hey - I’m calling an ambulance. Your buddy doesn’t look so good, and I think he could really use some help, okay?’ It was a boy Lance didn’t know, but in that moment he wished that he did. It took the pressure off of him somewhat, allowing a lull to form in the tumultuous pit of his stomach. It meant he could devote his attentions to Keith’s immediate care rather that worrying over any further needs - something he wasn’t entirely sure he was capable of doing in his current state of shock and self-reproach.

‘Baby, d’you hear that?’ Lance asked, turning back to Keith to rub soothing circles into his back as Keith coughed up the last of his stomach’s pitiful contents. ‘Someone’s calling an ambulance so you don’t have to move,’ but the last syllable of his sentence was morphed uncomfortably by a barely concealed sob of regret.

Keith’s heaving slowed to a steady thrum, and a small, unsteady nod acted as response. He clenched his eyes shut against the pain still bursting behind his eyelids, and fought back the urge to gag again - he knew his stomach was empty, but the agony was still white hot and vomit-inducing. He wanted to move away from the puddle of his own making, but not a single muscle in his body seemed to allow for any movement, and he whimpered. Seemingly sensing his distress, Lance’s hands carded their way around his shoulders, slowly manoeuvring him so that he was at the very least facing away from the mess. He sighed, lowering himself down into Lance’s side.

‘…I’m so sorry…’ Lance’s voice was a sob, sniffling and weak and oh-so-pitiful that despite the pain currently blinding him, Keith couldn’t fight down the protective streak it sparked within him.

‘Lance.. baby..’ he forced, spitting resignedly into his lap to rid his mouth of the blood. ‘this isn’t your fault.. don’t go blaming yourself, ‘kay?’

He got nothing but another sniff in reply. Huffing, Keith managed to lower one red-stained hand from his nose to stroke distractedly at Lance’s fingers, asking for access. Once it was granted, he entwined their hands, squeezing tight.

‘How ‘bout this then - if you blame yourself, I’m telling Shiro you punched me..’

A scoff, indignant as it was terrified flew from Lance’s lips. ‘You wouldn’t dare!’

Keith grinned through the pain, a comforting feeling welling in his breast alongside the decidedly worrying dizziness the blood-loss was only partly to blame for. ‘I totally would. Now - you gonna stop blaming yourself and comfort me instead?’

Lance was quiet for a moment before seeming to reach a decision. Sighing dramatically, he leaned in closer to Keith, eyes scanning the crowd for any sign of approaching medical staff - he caught sight of a few campus nurses pushing through the throng and breathed heavily in relief. ‘Fine. But only till you’re better, okay? Then I’m blaming myself all I want,’

‘We’ll see,’ Keith argued. But his determination was cut short by an automatic sniff, resulting in a rush of already coagulating blood jumping down his throat. He coughed, weak and painful. ‘Ugh.. gross..’

Lance leaned over to kiss his temple. ‘I’m still so sorry baby,’ he whispered, eyes closing tight against the now oppressive sunlight. But Keith’s fingers were still wound tight around his own, and he found a small salve in that fact, lightening the burden growing in his heart. Despite himself, he smiled as he felt rather than heard Keith’s tiny bubble of laughter.

‘Shut up, idiot. Just focus on hugging me so I stop thinking about the pain,’

‘Well, that could have gone a lot worse,’ Lance said, chipper as ever as he and Keith stepped through the door to their apartment. Keith, however, merely glowered in response.

‘They shoved a camera into my sinuses, Lance. A camera. Into my nose. It literally does not get worse than that,’ he hissed, glaring markedly at the irritatingly congested sound of his voice. Lance rubbed his arm comfortingly as he took Keith’s coat and dumped it across the back of the couch.

‘I know, baby, but you handled it so well. There weren’t even that many tears -‘ he ducked, avoiding the well-thrown pillow aimed at his skull.

‘There were no tears - got it? And I swear to fucking quiznak, if you tell Shiro I cried, I’m divorcing you,’ he hissed, regretting it immediately as another twinge of pain shot through his tender face. But the smile lighting up Lance’s was worth it - it was a smile void of guilt, full instead of the simple joy brought about by Keith’s choice of words.

‘Divorce? So.. does that mean we’re gonna get married first?’ Lance pressed, eyebrows wiggling devilishly.

‘You mean am I gonna marry the man that just smacked my face into a paving stone?’ Keith smiled softly as he held out his hands for Lance to take, their fingers dancing like waves against each other’s skin. ‘Hell yeah,’

[cynthiajayusa]

Wanda Sykes Talks Walkouts, Ellen’s Interview with Kevin Hart

Because according to Trump’s America only white het men can exist, now would be a good time to reintroduce Wanda Sykes. She is a black person and a woman and a lesbian. 

And if you go to one of her Oh Well stand-up shows this year, or catch the taping of one on Netflix tentatively scheduled to stream later this year, expect a poking and probing of things affecting Americans who identity as any of those under-attack minorities. Some women who are still supporting Trump for some reason may have benefited from that very basic Wanda Sykes 101 bio above before seeing the actress-comedian-writer in New Jersey in September 2018 and walking out and then demanding a refund from the Count Basie Center for the Arts.

These are the same people who loved the 54-year-old comedian in Monster-in-Law and Evan Almighty and as the voice of an animated skunk in Over the Hedge. And the same people who then wondered what the problem was when Roseanne tweeted a racist tweet and why Sykes, who wrote for the Roseanne revival, jumped ship.

Not that the entertainer and mom-to-twins didn’t have a loaded schedule, but with recurring TV roles on Broad City and Black-ish (for which she was Emmy-nominated), and several new movies out this year, Sykes has somehow found the time and energy to rattle the privileged cages of Trump supporters.

Are you unfazed by walkouts at this point in your career?

It cracks me up, really. Like, what were you expecting? What are the crazy ladies’ names? Diamond and whatever? The two African-American women. I forget their names. Diamond and Salt? Silk? (Editor’s note: It’s Diamond and Silk, vloggers known for supporting Donald Trump.) It’s like, no, that’s not me.

Or Kanye West.

Right, right, right.

At this point Trump is basically writing his own comedy show. Recently, there was a photo of him standing in front of a Burger King and McDonald’s buffet at the White House.

It’s hard to top him.

When the fodder is ripe for comedy is it actually harder to write the joke?

Yeah, it’s hard to top as far as what he does, because it’s just so ridiculous. Like when he does something ridiculous, it’s hard to write something where you would go, “That’s like blah blah blah,” because it’s already ridiculous. It’s hard to do a metaphor. So, really, you just have to talk about it as far as the level that it’s gotten to, and I don’t understand why we’re still putting up with it. Why aren’t we out in the streets, and you know, ready to drag him out of there, out of the White House? Because remember they got upset with Barack Obama when he wore a tan suit? I mean, this is ridiculous, the level that they’re going to.

Do you remember your first walkout and what that was like?

I got walkouts back under the George W. Bush administration. There were some walkouts back then. So, I’ve gotten used to it.

I think I read that during one of your first shows in the late ’80s, the audience booed you.

That was the second one. The first one I did went great. I almost won the contest; I did really well. So that’s why I stayed with comedy. And then the second time, it didn’t go well. I just bombed (laughs). I think because I was just so confident from the first time that I maybe (got) a little too cocky. Actually, I think it was the first time being on stage and it went great, and then I started going to comedy clubs and I saw how it could actually go really poorly and just go off the rails. I watched comics bomb and then when I went back on stage again I was just really nervous because I realized they don’t have to laugh; they can actually sit here and boo. So, I think that’s what happened the next time I did the competition.

What is one thing you want people to take away from Oh Well?

I hope they take away that I haven’t lost hope. That I still believe that people are good and that we’ll get through this, so I hope they walk away with that. Like, I’m not saying, “Hey, it’s the end of the world.”

Where are you deriving that hope from?

Young people. They give me hope. The Parkland kids, they do, they give me hope.

Through your involvement with the Ruth Ellis Center for homeless and at-risk LGBTQ youth in Detroit, you’ve met a lot of young people. What do young LGBTQ people want to know about Wanda Sykes?

A lot of it is career-wise, ’cause a lot of them, man, they’re so talented, they’re very creative, a lot of the kids from the center. So a lot of them want to know how I got started and any advice career-wise, and then of course how hard was it coming out and do I think that it had an effect on my career and also advice on dealing with family members as far as having problems dealing with coming out. (Laughs) Sometimes it’s just, “Hey, what do you like to do for fun? When you get stumped creatively, what do you do to get out of it?”

What do you do to get out of it?

You know what, I like jigsaw puzzles. (Laughs) I know I sound like an old lady! But every now and then if I gotta break it up and nothing is coming to me and I get stuck in a rut, I like to break out a jigsaw puzzle and maybe put some music on, something I don’t normally listen to. You just need a shift. As soon as you make a shift, it opens everything back up for you.

What’s the last jigsaw puzzle you completed?

It was a cover from the New Yorker and it was a dog sitting on porch steps.

So you’re a dog puzzle person?

(Laughs) Nah, it’s not a lot of abstract stuff I do. I like a piece of art, or you know, it’s usually still life.

Do you do the 5,000-piece puzzles or are you more of a 300-piece puzzle person?

Usually it’s more like 2,500. Five-thousand, that’s a project for over the summer.

Who do you test your material out on?

Pretty much the audience. My wife can see when something happens, and if I write it down or she sees something in my phone she’s like, “Oh boy, that’s a joke for you now.” Or something happens and she’ll say, “Oh, you should write that down! That was funny!”  

How were you writing your material before cell phones?

I always had a notebook and always wrote things down in my notebook. I have boxes and boxes of notebooks where I used to write my stuff down. Now it goes in the phone, but I still like to write by hand.

Will your Netflix show be out this year?

I just shot it in February, so it’ll probably be out late spring.

Will that be the Oh Well show? Will it be as anti-Trump as the show you’re currently touring now?

(Laughs) I would say the first 15 minutes or so – 20 minutes – is that. But then I move on! The tour that I’m doing now, that will be the special I’m working on.

The Guardian called it a “tough anti-Trump tirade.” Is it scary to talk about Trump because of what happened to Kathy Griffin?

No, I think we see that Kathy was right. I think she was just a little ahead of us as far as where this was going.

Right as far as her lambasting of the president?

Right.

Do you feel you have a greater responsibility now to speak on political and social issues?

I talk about what interests me and what I find funny and what I like to talk about. I watch politics, I follow what’s happening in the world. I like to talk about social issues and I like to talk about my family and personal issues. To me, I’m not going out of the way to say, “Oh, I need 10 minutes on Trump, I need something on gun control.” That’s not how I write, it’s not planned. It’s what happened. And that’s the kind of comedy I like. There’s room for all types of comedy; there’s physical humor and there’s some comics who are not political at all and that’s fine. But for me, if I walked out onto a stage and didn’t say anything about this craziness that’s happening, it’d be like the elephant in the room. I think when I go on stage people are waiting for it. Like, “Oh, OK, when is she going to get there?”

It’s affecting everything you stand for, so how could you not?

For me, I believe that’s the job for an artist. But then again, there are all types of artists and comics out there.

Ellen’s recent interview with Kevin Hart upset many people in the LGBTQ community. She was criticized for making Kevin out to be the victim, while muting the voice of her own community. Don Lemon was one of her critics. Where do you stand on how that interview went?

I looked at it as two comedians who are friends and she was trying to help out her friend. Now, I agree with Don Lemon that there is a huge issue in the African-American community concerning homosexuality and the LGBTQ community. So, I think for me, you’d have to go a little deeper with discussing that. To me, to say, “Hey, I already apologized and I didn’t know about it until it came out this time around” – so, it’s like, well, we didn’t know about that and now we do, so where’s the apology? Or at least have some type of awareness as far as how your words really are affecting a lot of kids in our community. So, I always gotta come on the side of kids and our community.

People, including actress-writer Lena Waithe, have been expressing a desire to see you as Oscar host. Would you be interested if they had asked?

If they had asked, yeah, I would’ve be interested, but it would be cool if they made it very inclusive and made RuPaul host.

Regarding your acting career: Have you had the acting career that you always desired to have?

Well, I never really desired to have an acting career. I just wanted to be one of the funniest comedians out there and wanted to make a living traveling all over, and film and TV is a bonus, really. I mean, come on, I got to go to Hawaii to shoot a movie with Amy (Schumer). But to me, I take it seriously, though; I also just love doing it. I love stand-up.

You have several films slated for release this year, including Friendsgiving and The Wedding Year. In Friendsgiving you play what must be a dream role: the fairy gay mother. How does one get the role of the fairy gay mother?

You’re just blessed with a role like that. You get a call and you’re blessed and it’s like, “Hey, you’re the fairy gay mother with Margaret Cho and Fortune Feimster.”

Do you get a magic wand?

I’m not gonna tell you if I get a magic wand or not. But there are wings involved!

If you had a magic wand, how would you use it?

Oh, boy. I can do a lot of things though, right?

You’re like Cinderella’s fairy godmother. You just wave that wand around, and if you want you can turn Trump into a horse.

(Laughs) Well, he’s already a jackass.

And you don’t even need a wand for that.

Don’t even need it. Wow, what would I do? I think first I would make Oprah the president, and then I’d do something about guns, and then I’ll make sure that Flint has clean water. I’ll do that.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/03/07/wanda-sykes-talks-walkouts-ellens-interview-with-kevin-hart/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2019/03/wanda-sykes-talks-walkouts-ellens.html

[demitgibbs]

Wanda Sykes Talks Walkouts, Ellen’s Interview with Kevin Hart

Because according to Trump’s America only white het men can exist, now would be a good time to reintroduce Wanda Sykes. She is a black person and a woman and a lesbian. 

And if you go to one of her Oh Well stand-up shows this year, or catch the taping of one on Netflix tentatively scheduled to stream later this year, expect a poking and probing of things affecting Americans who identity as any of those under-attack minorities. Some women who are still supporting Trump for some reason may have benefited from that very basic Wanda Sykes 101 bio above before seeing the actress-comedian-writer in New Jersey in September 2018 and walking out and then demanding a refund from the Count Basie Center for the Arts.

These are the same people who loved the 54-year-old comedian in Monster-in-Law and Evan Almighty and as the voice of an animated skunk in Over the Hedge. And the same people who then wondered what the problem was when Roseanne tweeted a racist tweet and why Sykes, who wrote for the Roseanne revival, jumped ship.

Not that the entertainer and mom-to-twins didn’t have a loaded schedule, but with recurring TV roles on Broad City and Black-ish (for which she was Emmy-nominated), and several new movies out this year, Sykes has somehow found the time and energy to rattle the privileged cages of Trump supporters.

Are you unfazed by walkouts at this point in your career?

It cracks me up, really. Like, what were you expecting? What are the crazy ladies’ names? Diamond and whatever? The two African-American women. I forget their names. Diamond and Salt? Silk? (Editor’s note: It’s Diamond and Silk, vloggers known for supporting Donald Trump.) It’s like, no, that’s not me.

Or Kanye West.

Right, right, right.

At this point Trump is basically writing his own comedy show. Recently, there was a photo of him standing in front of a Burger King and McDonald’s buffet at the White House.

It’s hard to top him.

When the fodder is ripe for comedy is it actually harder to write the joke?

Yeah, it’s hard to top as far as what he does, because it’s just so ridiculous. Like when he does something ridiculous, it’s hard to write something where you would go, “That’s like blah blah blah,” because it’s already ridiculous. It’s hard to do a metaphor. So, really, you just have to talk about it as far as the level that it’s gotten to, and I don’t understand why we’re still putting up with it. Why aren’t we out in the streets, and you know, ready to drag him out of there, out of the White House? Because remember they got upset with Barack Obama when he wore a tan suit? I mean, this is ridiculous, the level that they’re going to.

Do you remember your first walkout and what that was like?

I got walkouts back under the George W. Bush administration. There were some walkouts back then. So, I’ve gotten used to it.

I think I read that during one of your first shows in the late ’80s, the audience booed you.

That was the second one. The first one I did went great. I almost won the contest; I did really well. So that’s why I stayed with comedy. And then the second time, it didn’t go well. I just bombed (laughs). I think because I was just so confident from the first time that I maybe (got) a little too cocky. Actually, I think it was the first time being on stage and it went great, and then I started going to comedy clubs and I saw how it could actually go really poorly and just go off the rails. I watched comics bomb and then when I went back on stage again I was just really nervous because I realized they don’t have to laugh; they can actually sit here and boo. So, I think that’s what happened the next time I did the competition.

What is one thing you want people to take away from Oh Well?

I hope they take away that I haven’t lost hope. That I still believe that people are good and that we’ll get through this, so I hope they walk away with that. Like, I’m not saying, “Hey, it’s the end of the world.”

Where are you deriving that hope from?

Young people. They give me hope. The Parkland kids, they do, they give me hope.

Through your involvement with the Ruth Ellis Center for homeless and at-risk LGBTQ youth in Detroit, you’ve met a lot of young people. What do young LGBTQ people want to know about Wanda Sykes?

A lot of it is career-wise, ’cause a lot of them, man, they’re so talented, they’re very creative, a lot of the kids from the center. So a lot of them want to know how I got started and any advice career-wise, and then of course how hard was it coming out and do I think that it had an effect on my career and also advice on dealing with family members as far as having problems dealing with coming out. (Laughs) Sometimes it’s just, “Hey, what do you like to do for fun? When you get stumped creatively, what do you do to get out of it?”

What do you do to get out of it?

You know what, I like jigsaw puzzles. (Laughs) I know I sound like an old lady! But every now and then if I gotta break it up and nothing is coming to me and I get stuck in a rut, I like to break out a jigsaw puzzle and maybe put some music on, something I don’t normally listen to. You just need a shift. As soon as you make a shift, it opens everything back up for you.

What’s the last jigsaw puzzle you completed?

It was a cover from the New Yorker and it was a dog sitting on porch steps.

So you’re a dog puzzle person?

(Laughs) Nah, it’s not a lot of abstract stuff I do. I like a piece of art, or you know, it’s usually still life.

Do you do the 5,000-piece puzzles or are you more of a 300-piece puzzle person?

Usually it’s more like 2,500. Five-thousand, that’s a project for over the summer.

Who do you test your material out on?

Pretty much the audience. My wife can see when something happens, and if I write it down or she sees something in my phone she’s like, “Oh boy, that’s a joke for you now.” Or something happens and she’ll say, “Oh, you should write that down! That was funny!”  

How were you writing your material before cell phones?

I always had a notebook and always wrote things down in my notebook. I have boxes and boxes of notebooks where I used to write my stuff down. Now it goes in the phone, but I still like to write by hand.

Will your Netflix show be out this year?

I just shot it in February, so it’ll probably be out late spring.

Will that be the Oh Well show? Will it be as anti-Trump as the show you’re currently touring now?

(Laughs) I would say the first 15 minutes or so – 20 minutes – is that. But then I move on! The tour that I’m doing now, that will be the special I’m working on.

The Guardian called it a “tough anti-Trump tirade.” Is it scary to talk about Trump because of what happened to Kathy Griffin?

No, I think we see that Kathy was right. I think she was just a little ahead of us as far as where this was going.

Right as far as her lambasting of the president?

Right.

Do you feel you have a greater responsibility now to speak on political and social issues?

I talk about what interests me and what I find funny and what I like to talk about. I watch politics, I follow what’s happening in the world. I like to talk about social issues and I like to talk about my family and personal issues. To me, I’m not going out of the way to say, “Oh, I need 10 minutes on Trump, I need something on gun control.” That’s not how I write, it’s not planned. It’s what happened. And that’s the kind of comedy I like. There’s room for all types of comedy; there’s physical humor and there’s some comics who are not political at all and that’s fine. But for me, if I walked out onto a stage and didn’t say anything about this craziness that’s happening, it’d be like the elephant in the room. I think when I go on stage people are waiting for it. Like, “Oh, OK, when is she going to get there?”

It’s affecting everything you stand for, so how could you not?

For me, I believe that’s the job for an artist. But then again, there are all types of artists and comics out there.

Ellen’s recent interview with Kevin Hart upset many people in the LGBTQ community. She was criticized for making Kevin out to be the victim, while muting the voice of her own community. Don Lemon was one of her critics. Where do you stand on how that interview went?

I looked at it as two comedians who are friends and she was trying to help out her friend. Now, I agree with Don Lemon that there is a huge issue in the African-American community concerning homosexuality and the LGBTQ community. So, I think for me, you’d have to go a little deeper with discussing that. To me, to say, “Hey, I already apologized and I didn’t know about it until it came out this time around” – so, it’s like, well, we didn’t know about that and now we do, so where’s the apology? Or at least have some type of awareness as far as how your words really are affecting a lot of kids in our community. So, I always gotta come on the side of kids and our community.

People, including actress-writer Lena Waithe, have been expressing a desire to see you as Oscar host. Would you be interested if they had asked?

If they had asked, yeah, I would’ve be interested, but it would be cool if they made it very inclusive and made RuPaul host.

Regarding your acting career: Have you had the acting career that you always desired to have?

Well, I never really desired to have an acting career. I just wanted to be one of the funniest comedians out there and wanted to make a living traveling all over, and film and TV is a bonus, really. I mean, come on, I got to go to Hawaii to shoot a movie with Amy (Schumer). But to me, I take it seriously, though; I also just love doing it. I love stand-up.

You have several films slated for release this year, including Friendsgiving and The Wedding Year. In Friendsgiving you play what must be a dream role: the fairy gay mother. How does one get the role of the fairy gay mother?

You’re just blessed with a role like that. You get a call and you’re blessed and it’s like, “Hey, you’re the fairy gay mother with Margaret Cho and Fortune Feimster.”

Do you get a magic wand?

I’m not gonna tell you if I get a magic wand or not. But there are wings involved!

If you had a magic wand, how would you use it?

Oh, boy. I can do a lot of things though, right?

You’re like Cinderella’s fairy godmother. You just wave that wand around, and if you want you can turn Trump into a horse.

(Laughs) Well, he’s already a jackass.

And you don’t even need a wand for that.

Don’t even need it. Wow, what would I do? I think first I would make Oprah the president, and then I’d do something about guns, and then I’ll make sure that Flint has clean water. I’ll do that.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/03/07/wanda-sykes-talks-walkouts-ellens-interview-with-kevin-hart/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/183291132945

[hotspotsmagazine]

Wanda Sykes Talks Walkouts, Ellen’s Interview with Kevin Hart

Because according to Trump’s America only white het men can exist, now would be a good time to reintroduce Wanda Sykes. She is a black person and a woman and a lesbian. 

And if you go to one of her Oh Well stand-up shows this year, or catch the taping of one on Netflix tentatively scheduled to stream later this year, expect a poking and probing of things affecting Americans who identity as any of those under-attack minorities. Some women who are still supporting Trump for some reason may have benefited from that very basic Wanda Sykes 101 bio above before seeing the actress-comedian-writer in New Jersey in September 2018 and walking out and then demanding a refund from the Count Basie Center for the Arts.

These are the same people who loved the 54-year-old comedian in Monster-in-Law and Evan Almighty and as the voice of an animated skunk in Over the Hedge. And the same people who then wondered what the problem was when Roseanne tweeted a racist tweet and why Sykes, who wrote for the Roseanne revival, jumped ship.

Not that the entertainer and mom-to-twins didn’t have a loaded schedule, but with recurring TV roles on Broad City and Black-ish (for which she was Emmy-nominated), and several new movies out this year, Sykes has somehow found the time and energy to rattle the privileged cages of Trump supporters.

Are you unfazed by walkouts at this point in your career?

It cracks me up, really. Like, what were you expecting? What are the crazy ladies’ names? Diamond and whatever? The two African-American women. I forget their names. Diamond and Salt? Silk? (Editor’s note: It’s Diamond and Silk, vloggers known for supporting Donald Trump.) It’s like, no, that’s not me.

Or Kanye West.

Right, right, right.

At this point Trump is basically writing his own comedy show. Recently, there was a photo of him standing in front of a Burger King and McDonald’s buffet at the White House.

It’s hard to top him.

When the fodder is ripe for comedy is it actually harder to write the joke?

Yeah, it’s hard to top as far as what he does, because it’s just so ridiculous. Like when he does something ridiculous, it’s hard to write something where you would go, “That’s like blah blah blah,” because it’s already ridiculous. It’s hard to do a metaphor. So, really, you just have to talk about it as far as the level that it’s gotten to, and I don’t understand why we’re still putting up with it. Why aren’t we out in the streets, and you know, ready to drag him out of there, out of the White House? Because remember they got upset with Barack Obama when he wore a tan suit? I mean, this is ridiculous, the level that they’re going to.

Do you remember your first walkout and what that was like?

I got walkouts back under the George W. Bush administration. There were some walkouts back then. So, I’ve gotten used to it.

I think I read that during one of your first shows in the late ’80s, the audience booed you.

That was the second one. The first one I did went great. I almost won the contest; I did really well. So that’s why I stayed with comedy. And then the second time, it didn’t go well. I just bombed (laughs). I think because I was just so confident from the first time that I maybe (got) a little too cocky. Actually, I think it was the first time being on stage and it went great, and then I started going to comedy clubs and I saw how it could actually go really poorly and just go off the rails. I watched comics bomb and then when I went back on stage again I was just really nervous because I realized they don’t have to laugh; they can actually sit here and boo. So, I think that’s what happened the next time I did the competition.

What is one thing you want people to take away from Oh Well?

I hope they take away that I haven’t lost hope. That I still believe that people are good and that we’ll get through this, so I hope they walk away with that. Like, I’m not saying, “Hey, it’s the end of the world.”

Where are you deriving that hope from?

Young people. They give me hope. The Parkland kids, they do, they give me hope.

Through your involvement with the Ruth Ellis Center for homeless and at-risk LGBTQ youth in Detroit, you’ve met a lot of young people. What do young LGBTQ people want to know about Wanda Sykes?

A lot of it is career-wise, ’cause a lot of them, man, they’re so talented, they’re very creative, a lot of the kids from the center. So a lot of them want to know how I got started and any advice career-wise, and then of course how hard was it coming out and do I think that it had an effect on my career and also advice on dealing with family members as far as having problems dealing with coming out. (Laughs) Sometimes it’s just, “Hey, what do you like to do for fun? When you get stumped creatively, what do you do to get out of it?”

What do you do to get out of it?

You know what, I like jigsaw puzzles. (Laughs) I know I sound like an old lady! But every now and then if I gotta break it up and nothing is coming to me and I get stuck in a rut, I like to break out a jigsaw puzzle and maybe put some music on, something I don’t normally listen to. You just need a shift. As soon as you make a shift, it opens everything back up for you.

What’s the last jigsaw puzzle you completed?

It was a cover from the New Yorker and it was a dog sitting on porch steps.

So you’re a dog puzzle person?

(Laughs) Nah, it’s not a lot of abstract stuff I do. I like a piece of art, or you know, it’s usually still life.

Do you do the 5,000-piece puzzles or are you more of a 300-piece puzzle person?

Usually it’s more like 2,500. Five-thousand, that’s a project for over the summer.

Who do you test your material out on?

Pretty much the audience. My wife can see when something happens, and if I write it down or she sees something in my phone she’s like, “Oh boy, that’s a joke for you now.” Or something happens and she’ll say, “Oh, you should write that down! That was funny!”  

How were you writing your material before cell phones?

I always had a notebook and always wrote things down in my notebook. I have boxes and boxes of notebooks where I used to write my stuff down. Now it goes in the phone, but I still like to write by hand.

Will your Netflix show be out this year?

I just shot it in February, so it’ll probably be out late spring.

Will that be the Oh Well show? Will it be as anti-Trump as the show you’re currently touring now?

(Laughs) I would say the first 15 minutes or so – 20 minutes – is that. But then I move on! The tour that I’m doing now, that will be the special I’m working on.

The Guardian called it a “tough anti-Trump tirade.” Is it scary to talk about Trump because of what happened to Kathy Griffin?

No, I think we see that Kathy was right. I think she was just a little ahead of us as far as where this was going.

Right as far as her lambasting of the president?

Right.

Do you feel you have a greater responsibility now to speak on political and social issues?

I talk about what interests me and what I find funny and what I like to talk about. I watch politics, I follow what’s happening in the world. I like to talk about social issues and I like to talk about my family and personal issues. To me, I’m not going out of the way to say, “Oh, I need 10 minutes on Trump, I need something on gun control.” That’s not how I write, it’s not planned. It’s what happened. And that’s the kind of comedy I like. There’s room for all types of comedy; there’s physical humor and there’s some comics who are not political at all and that’s fine. But for me, if I walked out onto a stage and didn’t say anything about this craziness that’s happening, it’d be like the elephant in the room. I think when I go on stage people are waiting for it. Like, “Oh, OK, when is she going to get there?”

It’s affecting everything you stand for, so how could you not?

For me, I believe that’s the job for an artist. But then again, there are all types of artists and comics out there.

Ellen’s recent interview with Kevin Hart upset many people in the LGBTQ community. She was criticized for making Kevin out to be the victim, while muting the voice of her own community. Don Lemon was one of her critics. Where do you stand on how that interview went?

I looked at it as two comedians who are friends and she was trying to help out her friend. Now, I agree with Don Lemon that there is a huge issue in the African-American community concerning homosexuality and the LGBTQ community. So, I think for me, you’d have to go a little deeper with discussing that. To me, to say, “Hey, I already apologized and I didn’t know about it until it came out this time around” – so, it’s like, well, we didn’t know about that and now we do, so where’s the apology? Or at least have some type of awareness as far as how your words really are affecting a lot of kids in our community. So, I always gotta come on the side of kids and our community.

People, including actress-writer Lena Waithe, have been expressing a desire to see you as Oscar host. Would you be interested if they had asked?

If they had asked, yeah, I would’ve be interested, but it would be cool if they made it very inclusive and made RuPaul host.

Regarding your acting career: Have you had the acting career that you always desired to have?

Well, I never really desired to have an acting career. I just wanted to be one of the funniest comedians out there and wanted to make a living traveling all over, and film and TV is a bonus, really. I mean, come on, I got to go to Hawaii to shoot a movie with Amy (Schumer). But to me, I take it seriously, though; I also just love doing it. I love stand-up.

You have several films slated for release this year, including Friendsgiving and The Wedding Year. In Friendsgiving you play what must be a dream role: the fairy gay mother. How does one get the role of the fairy gay mother?

You’re just blessed with a role like that. You get a call and you’re blessed and it’s like, “Hey, you’re the fairy gay mother with Margaret Cho and Fortune Feimster.”

Do you get a magic wand?

I’m not gonna tell you if I get a magic wand or not. But there are wings involved!

If you had a magic wand, how would you use it?

Oh, boy. I can do a lot of things though, right?

You’re like Cinderella’s fairy godmother. You just wave that wand around, and if you want you can turn Trump into a horse.

(Laughs) Well, he’s already a jackass.

And you don’t even need a wand for that.

Don’t even need it. Wow, what would I do? I think first I would make Oprah the president, and then I’d do something about guns, and then I’ll make sure that Flint has clean water. I’ll do that.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/03/07/wanda-sykes-talks-walkouts-ellens-interview-with-kevin-hart/