#LIKE i thing that argument i brought up earlier is a lot like. what would happen if python actually told swift that it was leaving skylight

[mischievousmoony]

hello ! i saw that you were open for requests. could you do sick reader and james being the best bestfriend ever (and oblivious as hell) takes care of them? maybe they could be childhood friends so james doesn't realize that what he's doing in inherently romantic, like kissing reader's forehead to check their temp, giving his shoulder to them to lay on, sleeping in the same bed, and such.

AND even after reader is no longer sick, james still insist on spoon feeding them and acting like a helicopter mom.

- 🌱

what a lovely idea! thank you for the request <3 i love this because earlier this summer i had a nasty sinus infection for like 3 weeks :/ i wish i had a james potter then lol also i noticed you used they/them pronouns in ur req. im not sure if you wanted gn!reader, but i think it ended up being that way anyway. i didn't need to use pronouns, or even y/n, in this fic <3

𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎

⟢ james potter x reader ⊹ 1.4k ⟢ warnings/tags: fluff, no use of y/n, no magic

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

It was only an hour ago that you told James over the phone not to worry about you.

Now, he stands in your bedroom, having let himself into your flat with the spare key that you that keep at his parents' house for emergencies— which he uses very often, but hardly for emergencies.

"James," you complain in a nasally voice, "I'm going to get you sick."

He plants his hands on his hips and looks at you scrutinizingly. It reminds you of Euphemia when she would scold you and James as children, and truthfully, when she sometimes scolds you these days.

"Nonsense, my immune system is built like a tank."

"James," you whine further.

He ignores you as he approaches your bedside, frowning as he takes in your sickly appearance. He gently brushes away the sweat-drenched hair from your forehead.

"My poor thing," he comments before bending down to press a lingering kiss to your forehead.

"You don't feel terribly warm, but you look flushed," James' wrist swivels to press the back of his hand to your cheek, "Do you feel hot?"

"A- a little," you croak, knowing full well that a raging blush is the real culprit behind your reddening face.

James' frown deepens as he dives into his next area of concern, "Have you been eating? You hardly had anything in your fridge."

"I have enough peanut butter and jelly to get me through an apocalypse. Why were you in my fridge?"

"I had to put away the groceries."

Your eyebrows draw together, "What groceries!?"

"I bought you groceries," he says nonchalantly.

"Why would you buy me groceries!?"

James is suddenly sheepish. He rubs the back of his neck, "It's not much. Mostly ingredients for the chicken soup I'm gonna make."

"Make? If you really must you could've just gotten a can of–"

"Eugh! I would never subject you to canned soup!"

You roll your eyes at his dramatics.

"That processed shit is just going to make you feel worse," he adds.

"Does Effie know she's created a monster?" you mumble to the ceiling.

James' chuckles, "Look, I'm already here, I've already bought the food. Just let me make you a nice soup and then I'll get out of here." James raises his hands in the air to indicate his surrender to compromise.

Your head hurts too much to continue an argument that you know you won't win, so you relent and wave him off to the kitchen.

Before James leaves you, "Are you comfortable? Do you need anything before I go?"

"I'm fine."

"You sound stuffy. Is there a lot of pressure? Do you like a hot or a cold compress?"

You wince as you imagine a cold compress, feeling like that would make your headache somehow feel sharper against your brain.

"Hot."

James smiles, happy that you're beginning to give into his care, and disappears from your sight.

He returns with a warm, damp cloth and a paper shopping bag stuffed under his arm. He starts unloading his haul onto your night table.

"I brought you the nice tissues, the ones with the lotion so that they don't irritate your nose. And are you taking medicine? I wasn't sure what your symptoms were or what you usually take so I got stuff for everything. I've got nasal sprays, decongestants, cough syrups— which I'm pretty sure you hate so I bought lozenges too."

You watch despairingly as he sets medicine after medicine down.

"I took paracetamol an hour ago," you inform him.

"That's it? You could at least use the nasal spray then. Here, let me–"

You place a hand over his that fiddles with the cap of the spray, "I've got it. Just go make your soup."

James looks up from the little white bottle, "Oh yeah, sure." But he hesitates before he goes, "You want a lozenge though?"

You yield to James' incessant efforts, figuring he would feel better if you let him do something for you. You hold out your hand to accept the lozenge but as soon as he sees you nod, he is already set on removing its waxy wrap and popping it in your mouth himself.

At last, he presses the warm, damp cloth gently over your closed eyes and retreats to your kitchen.

He reappears every so often to rewarm the cloth that's over your eyes, bring you cups of water or herbal tea, and make sure that you're still comfortable. He's offered to fluff your pillows five times.

The next time he enters your bedroom, he's finally carrying a bowl of steaming soup, one of your dishcloths a barrier between his hands and the hot porcelain.

You sit and hold out your hands to accept the bowl.

"Oh, it's far too hot for you to hold," James says, choosing to ignore the fact that he is doing just fine holding it himself.

He plants himself on the edge of your bed and starts blowing on a spoonful of the savory soup.

"You can't be serious," you mutter, sniffling.

"Just lean back and relax," James instructs, "let me take care of you."

James looks at you with the roundest, most doe-like eyes can can muster. Oh, those stupid big brown eyes— it's impossible to resist them.

You let James feed you what just might be the best soup you've ever tasted. Rich flavors dance on your tongue and you try not to let your eyes flutter closed in bliss, but the enjoyment is written across your face anyway. He refrains from teasing you, feeling too much pity for your being unwell to make any fun.

"Is this helping any?" James checks, blowing on another spoonful of broth.

You hum affirmatively, "It's really nice," you murmur, letting the warmth of the soup spread across your chest.

A prideful smile finds its way onto James' lips.

After he he scrapes the last bit of soup onto the spoon and brings it to your mouth, he places the empty bowl onto your night table. You realize that you still need to thank him and you share words of gratitude as you wring out your neck.

"You alright?"

"A bit stiff from being cooped up in bed," you roll out your shoulders.

"Well, you needed your rest," James says, studying you. "Here, scoot up."

You look at him curiously as he helps you scoot forward. When he starts settling in behind you, your eyes round.

"James!"

You've lost count of how many times you've uttered his name in scolding today. Your face flushes crimson and you count yourself lucky that he at least can't see it this time.

James shushes you, and your protests die in your throat when his hands apply a satisfying pressure to your neck.

He can't help but chuckle, nor can he help seek your approval, "Helping?"

"Uh-huh," you sigh, your eyes fluttering closed, and you feel James' body rumble with laughter against you.

The coming days play out similarly, and you've quickly ceased protesting against him. James attends to your every need and casually showers you in affection day after day.

He even insists on staying over some nights, which you do protest against, as he means to sleep on your couch which is not even long enough for him to lay flat. But you need not worry about that, because when night falls he ends up dozing off next to you in bed, where he intended to only stay until you fell asleep.

In the mornings, neither of you seem to mind waking up in each others arms.

Within a few days, your health improves, but this doesn't stop James from continuing to tend to you.

"I haven't run a fever in days!" you protest as James' lips still against your forehead for several seconds.

"You never know," James mumbles against your forehead before pulling away.

You huff as you meet his eyes on his retreat, "I'm not sick anymore, James."

"You still sniffle sometimes," he shrugs, turning to collect the empty bowl on your night table, which he fed you fresh stew out of for lunch this afternoon.

You chuckle at his antics, "It's just a lingering sniffle, it will probably clear up by tomorrow. Besides, I hardly need someone taking care of me for that."

James pulls his lips into a timid line, feeling quite sheepish. He hides his face as he turns to leave your room with the dirty dish.

He tsks as he formulates an excuse for himself, "Or it means that your illness is coming back for a second round. What kind of friend would I be if I don't make sure it's gone before I set you loose?"

James makes his way to the kitchen to wash your dishes, seemingly unaware that he might enjoy taking care of you a bit more than a friend would. Or maybe he’s simply embraced the comfort of being exactly where he wants to be.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

Hi omg i absolutely love your work so much!! Literally had to turn on notifications just for you🩷 i wanted to request an enemies to lovers trope with ethan (but kinda slowburn) where he is really nice and shy/dorky with the rest of the group & rude to y/n specifically because he feels like thats the only way to get her attention. He walks in on her changing but leaves quickly due to embarrassment & a few days later just confesses during an argument and it ends in smut. Lots of angst & tension pls pls thank you so much🥲

Hiii! I hope you like it!

Holding on to You - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: Ethan thinks he needs to be a jackass to get your attention. After months of dealing with his annoying ways, he confesses how he feels.

Contains: fluff, angst, use of pet names, mean!ethan, dry humping, riding, p in v sex. (If I missed anything, let me know!)

A/N: Apparently if I get stoned and listen to Twenty One Pilots, I write longer fics lmao. 3.7k words...jeez.

When Chad and Ethan needed a new roommate, and you hated yours, you decided to take Chad up on his offer for you to move in. Yeah, living with two boys wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Well, Chad wasn’t as bad as you thought he would be. Ethan on the other hand, loved to do things to piss you off.

As you stood at the sink doing your own dishes, Ethan walked by and dropped a bowl in the sink.

“Seriously?” you asked, looking over at him.

“What? You’re already doing dishes.”

Chad walked in the room before you could say anything else to Ethan. He smirked at you as Chad started to speak.

“Hey dude, you want to go with me to get the pizza for tonight?” he asked. You were having your friends over, and you were happy to have an interaction with someone that wasn’t a guy.

“Yeah,” Ethan said, sitting a cup in the sink, too.

“I’m not doing all your dishes, Ethan!” you yelled, as he and Chad made their way to the door.

He turned around to look at you again, flashing a smile before walking out.

The way Ethan acted was infuriating sometimes. He was completely different in the presence of everyone else, but when it was just the two of you, he was so rude.

When your friends started to arrive after Chad and Ethan got back, you were grabbing plates out of the cabinet when Ethan walked up behind you.

“Let me take these. I wouldn’t want all of them to get shattered,” he said, reaching over you and grabbing the stack. You huffed as he sat them down on the counter.

“I wouldn’t have broken them,” you mumbled, looking up at him.

“You just broke one last week!”

“Well, if you didn’t stack so many plates on the top shelf so only you’re giraffe-looking ass was able to reach them, maybe it wouldn’t have happened,” you snapped, grabbing the plates off the counter and carrying them out to the living room.

“Thank you,” Chad said as you sat the plates down.

“Yeah, thank you,” Ethan said as he followed you out, the sweetness in his voice making you want to gag.

As you all sat around eating, Tara brought up needing help for one of her classes.

“I can help you,” Ethan said, “I took that class already.”

“Let me guess, you had the highest grade in the class?” Mindy asked, already knowing the answer.

“I can’t help that I have a photographic memory,” he said, taking a bite of his food. “But seriously, if you need my help, let me know.”

You were quiet as you focused on your phone, trying to distract yourself from Ethan. You hated that he could be so nice to everyone else but was a total dick to you. It was disappointing because at one point, you thought he was sweet. The kindness and the fact that he was tall and very attractive was starting to draw you in, but then his personality just flipped one day.

“Why are you being so quiet?” Tara asked you, as you scrolled through your phone.

“I got a text from my ex earlier. Still an asshole,” you sighed, “But he’s been liking all my Instagram photos that he unliked when we broke up.”

“Don’t give him another chance, please,” Mindy begged, “He treats you like shit.”

Your cheeks started to turn pink as you sat there. You didn’t want to directly tell them that you were considering it, but the knowing look on Chad’s face confirmed that you were doing a bad job at hiding it.

“Seriously? He’s going to be in here trying to square up with me and Ethan, because he’s an insecure idiot,” Chad said, his tone full of disappointment, “You know he’s not good for you.”

Ethan was really invested in the conversation happening in front of him. He’d always kind of hoped that you’d just tell him you were interested in him. The type of guys you normally went after was the reason he was being a jerk, after all. He’s always wanted your attention.

“That’s my type though, Chad,” you sighed sarcastically as he shook his head.

“Yeah, but you could go after a sweet guy, like my boy Ethan over here,” he said, gesturing to the curly-haired boy that started to blush. “He’s a snack, right?”

“That didn’t work when you pitched it to the cute girl at the Halloween Party, and it’s not going to work now,” you giggled, happy that you were able to make a little dig at Ethan since he always says rude things to you.

“That wasn’t nice. I think you’re a snack,” Chad said to Ethan, as Tara started to laugh at their bromance.

“At least someone does,” Ethan said, glancing over to you and looking down at his lap.

“I’m not saying you’re not attractive, Ethan,” you sighed, feeling guilty for being so mean, “I guess you are a snack.”

“Oh, am I sensing a love connection here?” Chad said in a horrible fake-British accent.

“I didn’t say that.”

As everyone started to leave for the night, you went in your room to change into your pajama shorts and a big t-shirt.

Just as you took off your jeans, shirt, and bra, the door to your room opened.

“Hey, you left your…” You grabbed your shirt you were about to change into and quickly covered yourself with it as Ethan stood there. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

When he turned around and pulled the door shut behind him, your cheeks turned bright red. The guy that loves be an ass to you had just seen you in nothing but your panties. You sighed as you pulled your shirt and shorts on and walked out to get some water.

You jumped when you saw a shadowy figure in the dark kitchen as you turned the corner.

“It’s just me,” Chad said, as you flipped the light switch.

“You scared the shit out of me!” you said, as he stood there eating some of the cold, leftover pizza. “Why are you eating in the dark?”

“Why are you so jumpy? That’s how Ethan was a minute ago when he walked in here,” he said, chewing his food. “He sat your phone on the counter, by the way.”

“Maybe we’re jumpy because you’re lurking in a dark kitchen,” you said, grabbing your phone.

“You’re probably right. Well, good night.”

As he walked back to his room, you pulled a cup out of the cabinet, getting some water. You couldn’t stop thinking about how awkward it was going to be to see Ethan again, which will happen eventually because he shares your living space.

That didn’t happen for several days, though. He intentionally avoided you, only coming out of his room if you weren’t home, or you were in your own room. It was starting to bother you, because even if he made you feel like shit before he walked in on you, he at least talked to you, and it was significantly less awkward.

When you walked out to the living room, you saw Chad and Ethan sitting on the couch watching tv. You flopped down a few cushions away from them, looking at the screen.

“Star Wars, huh? I wouldn’t expect anything less from you two dorks,” you joked, as Chad scoffed.

“You know, I used to think you were cool,” he said, throwing one of the decorative pillows at you.

You threw it back at him, hitting Ethan in the process.

“Hey!” he yelled, grabbing the pillow that eventually landed on Chad and threw it back at you.

“You know what we need? Snacks,” Chad said, standing up. He grabbed the remote to pause the movie. “Ethan, Cheetos?” he asked as Ethan nodded. “Do you want anything?” he asked you, walking towards the kitchen. “No, I’m good.”

“Suit yourself. Maybe if your nice, Ethan will share his snacks.”

You laughed at his comment as you looked over to Ethan. He wasn’t saying anything, but you could feel the tension in the air. The only thing that came to your mind was that he was probably dying inside from not saying anything shitty to you for the last several days.

“What are you looking at?” he snapped, glancing over to you.

“There it is. I thought you were never going to be mean to me again.”

“Believe it or not, I don’t feel like I should have to speak to you,” he said, as Chad walked back in, completely missing Ethan’s comment. “Thanks, man,” he said, after Chad handed him the Cheetos.

He pressed play on the movie again, as you tried to get interested in it.

“That thing is kind of cute,” you said, pointing at the character.

“Jar Jar Binks is cute? That explains your taste in men,” Chad said, as Ethan started to laugh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, staring both of the boys down.

“He’s one of, if not THE, most hated Star Wars characters,” Ethan said, looking over to you. “Just like how every single guy you date is completely unlikable.”

“You don’t have to call me out like that,” you sighed, standing up to grab the blanket that was on back of the couch behind Ethan. “Can you sit up a little bit so I can grab this,” you said, tugging on the fluffy material.

“No, I’m comfortable like this,” he said, his tone playful because Chad was beside him.

“Please, I’m cold,” you whined, as he rolled his eyes and sat up.

You grabbed the blanket and snuggled back up in your spot. Ethan kept looking over to you, trying to be as discreet as possible about it. You caught his gaze, giving him a ‘What’ look, before looking back at the tv.

When the movie was over, Chad stood up. “I think I’m going to Tara’s. You guys want to come?”

“Yeah, like I want to be there while you try to put moves on my friend,” you said, as he shrugged.

“She’s cute. I can’t help it. Ethan, you coming?”

“I don’t want to be a third wheel,” he sighed, “I have stuff to work on anyway.”

“Okay, I’ll be back later,” Chad said, pulling his hoodie on.

When Chad left, Ethan got up to walk to his room.

“Hey,” you said, as he stopped and turned a little to look at you, “If you hate me so much, why did you agree to me moving in?”

“Because you can pay the rent,” he said, “Is this conversation over?”

“No, it’s not,” you stood up, as he fully turned back around. “What the fuck happened? Because you used to be nice to me. Then you started to treat me like every other guy ever has.”

“Yeah? What was that jab a few nights ago where you made me feel like a loser in front of our friends?” he started to raise his voice at you, “Because that wasn’t very nice.”

“I wanted you to know what it feels like, Ethan! You treat me like I’m stupid! You know how many times I’ve gone to my room and cried over some of the things you’ve said to me?” you were yelling at this point, the anger in his face softening as he started to feel guilty. “You used to be so sweet and caring, I miss that Ethan.”

“I couldn’t be like that anymore,” he sighed, his eyes refusing to meet yours.

You were still mad, yelling “Why?” at him as he started to walk towards you.

“Because you aren’t interested in nice guys!” he yelled back, “You always go after people that don’t treat you right, when all I’ve wanted to do this whole time is to be what you want!”

“You really are dumb,” you started to laugh, shaking your head. “You had a fucking chance, Ethan! I was interested in you. It was weird for me, and I wasn’t sure how to act because you aren’t my normal type, but that’s what made me like you!”

“How was I supposed to know that?” he said, sighing as he sat back down on the couch. “I just wanted to be what you wanted.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s something wrong with my normal ‘type’,” you laughed, sitting beside him. “In some sick, twisted way, I think it’s sweet that you wanted my attention so bad.”

“So, it worked?” he asked, cocking his head to look at you.

“I’m not going to validate you being an asshole. I want you to be yourself, that’s the Ethan I like,” you smiled at him.

“I’m sorry for making you cry before, I feel awful about that,” he said, the guilt present on his face.

“Just don’t do it again.”

“I totally ruined everything, didn’t I?” he asked, “I remember you mentioned your ex the other night. Are you going to give him another chance?”

You started to laugh as you looked at him, “Why would I do that? I mean, unless you aren’t interested in me, and this is just some sick joke.”

“No, I’m interested,” he said, leaning in to kiss you.

The kiss was sweet at first, exactly what you expected from Ethan. He started to pull away, but your head moved with his, not wanting the kiss to end. His lips kept moving as you felt his tongue brush against your bottom lip. You started to straddle him as you let him deepen the kiss, his tongue dancing against yours. When you felt him get hard through his jeans, you pulled away to look at him. His eyes were dazed as he watched you, craving more.

“You okay?” you asked, your breathing heavy.

“Yeah, can we do that again?”

You leaned back in, his hands going to your hips as you kissed him. His grip tightened a little as he started to squirm underneath of you, desperate to get a little friction. His lips moved to your jaw, before kissing down your neck. You whimpered when he found your sweet spot, his mouth attacking it so you’d keep making that sound.

Your hands were resting against the hem of his shirt, so you started to lift it to graze your fingers over his toned stomach. He followed your lead, his hands rubbing against your sides underneath your shirt. Your breath hitched in your throat as his fingertips brushed against your ribs, the tickling feeling surprising you.

“You tensed up, are you okay with this?” he mumbled against your neck.

“Mhm,” you said, removing one of your hands from his abs and putting it under his chin. He lifted his head so your mouths could connect again, as you started to grind against him.

He started to groan into the kiss, his hips moving against yours. “Do you want to do this,” you asked pulling away a little. He nodded his head as you slid off of him to unbutton his jeans.

“Wait, are we about to fuck on the couch?” he asked, as you nodded.

“Stand up,” you said, grabbing his hands. You grabbed your blanket from the other side of the couch, spreading it across the cushions. “Now we don’t have to feel guilty whenever we see Chad sitting on the couch.”

He smiled as you slid his jeans down over his hips. “I think you should let me take something off of you.”

You smiled at him as you stepped back a little, your hands at your sides as you waited for him to make a move. His hands went to your shirt, lifting it over your head. He felt like his eyes were going to pop out off his skull when he realized you didn’t have a bra on.

“You’re even more perfect up close,” he said, leaning down to take one of your nipples in his mouth.

“How many times have you thought about me almost naked since the other night?” you asked, your fingers tangling in his hair as he moved his mouth.

“So many times,” he said as he pulled away and moved to the other one. He groaned a little at the feeling of your fingers tugging on his curls.

His hands reached down to the top of your jeans, slowly unbuttoning them, and sliding them down your hips. You shimmied out of them as you slid your feet out.

As you both stood there, he leaned in to kiss you again, the tent in his boxers pressing against you.

“Do you have a condom?” you asked, as he nodded.

“Good idea,” he said, running down the hall to his room. You took the opportunity to take off your panties as you waited for him to come back. His jaw dropped when he came back and saw you standing there, completely nude. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“It can’t happen until these come off,” you said, grabbing the waistband of his boxers and sliding them down his thighs. After he stepped out of them, you pushed him back onto the couch.

He opened the condom as he sat there, rolling it on his hard cock. You really started to look at his size, nervous that it wouldn’t fit inside of you. His hands reached out, grabbing yours to pull you back on his lap. You kissed him as you grabbed his erection and lined it up with your soaked core.

“Oh fuck,” you whined, sinking down onto him. You sat in place as you kept kissing him, giving yourself enough time to adjust to the pressure as he stretched your walls.

When you started to roll your hips, his hands held onto them. “God, this feels amazing,” he said, loving the feeling of you around him. “You’re so tight.”

As you started to bounce on him, his thrusts started to meet yours. You kept making eye contact with him as his mouth started to fall open, faint moans slipping past his lips.

“That’s so hot,” you moaned, as he looked at you, trying to understand what you meant. “You can be as vocal as you want, baby. I love it.”

His heart melted as you called him ‘baby’, loving the sound of it. He started to get a little louder, letting you know exactly how good he was feeling.

“Rub my clit,” you whimpered, as your hands went to his shoulders to stabilize yourself so you could move faster.

His fingers started to rub circles against the sensitive bundle of nerves, the whines flying out of your mouth echoing off the walls. “Fuck, that feels so good.”

His fingers soon sped up as your moaning got higher. “Yes yes yes,” you cried out, that euphoric feeling so close to taking over your body, “I’m gonna cum.”

Your pussy started to flutter around him as your body started to tense up. He kept thrusting up into you, so close to his own orgasm. “Shit, gonna cum,” he groaned out, his hand leaving your clit and going back to your hip as he pounded into you. “Fuuuuck.”

He let out a long, shaky breath as he released into the condom. Your body relaxed against his as his hands rubbed your back. “You okay, baby?” he asked, as you nodded against his shoulder.

You laid there for a few more minutes, just enjoying his arms around you. “You want to take a shower?” you asked your fingers rubbing across his chest.

“I’d love to.”

When you were in the shower with Ethan, he was so sweet and caring. As he ran the soapy loofah across your back, you started to tear up a little. No one had ever done anything like this for you. Any other guy you’d showered with expected round two, but Ethan just wanted to take care of you.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, as you stood under the water, the suds washing off your body.

“Stop. You keep saying stuff like that, you’re going to make me fall for you,” you laughed, as he laced his fingers with yours.

“You promise? Because you’re so amazing, and so perfect,” he said, and you knew he meant every word he was saying.

After the shower, you grabbed the blanket off the couch and threw it in the washer, before starting it. It would’ve made no sense to put the blanket down if you were just going to leave it there. Ethan walked up behind you, wrapping his hands around your waist. “You’re still naked.”

“You are, too,” you said, turning to face him. “I want to cuddle tonight. Your bed or mine?”

“Let’s grab your clothes and lay in mine. You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about you in my bed,” he said, leaning in to kiss you.

“Okay, let’s go before Chad comes home and sees us naked,” you giggled, pulling away from him to run down the hall.

The next morning, you woke up with your head on Ethan’s chest and his arms wrapped around you. You sat up a little, your tired eyes connecting with his as he opened them.

“You look so cute first thing in the morning,” he said, sitting up too.

“I’m starving,” you said, running your hand through your hair as you attempted to tame the bed head.

“I could take you out to breakfast, if you’d like to.”

“I’d like that,” you said softly, leaning in to peck his lips.

You bumped into Chad in the hallway as you both walked out of Ethan’s room.

“Uh…okay,” he said, as you started to laugh. “Was I right about the love connection?” His fake accent was back as you rolled your eyes.

“You’re so annoying,” you mumbled, walking into your room to change.

When your door closed, Chad whisper-yelled, “Yessss dude I’m so proud of you! You’ve been crushing on her forever.”

“It’s a long story, but I’m so excited that she’ll know how it feels to be treated right.”

Chad and Ethan started to do a little happy dance as you walked out of your room, both of them stopping as you smirked.

“You ready to go?” you asked, reaching out to grab Ethan’s hand.

“Yeah, I’m starving.”

[marksmelodies]

for better, for worse

idol chenle x fem reader

genre: angst, smut, fluff

warnings: cussing, mentions of sex, unprotected sex,

—————————————————————————

you and chenle have been fighting a lot lately, everything you say to eachother ends up in a argument. it’s a never ending saga of screaming, fighting, threatening to break up, making up, having sex, then fighting again and so on.you currently were staring at the clock on the wall as chenle was thrusting in and out of you, wishing was that it would be over soon.you love chenle and you love your sex life with him but recently it seemed like a sympathy card and nothing more.the two of you used to have so much chemistry, your sex was amazing, you two were so passionately in love, but now you both seemed burnt out.

chenle was chasing his orgasm, thrusts were becoming rushed and messy, headboard smashing against the wall, it seemed as if he was just eager to blow off steam rather than actually wanting to have sex with you.the two of you fought earlier due to chenle blowing you off again for work, you tried your best to be understanding of his job, you knew how much it consumes his life, but when he’s blowing you off every single day it’s really hard to justify it, selfishly you wanted him to focus on you more than work.when you brought it up to him he got defensive and started yelling, which caused you to get angry and the whole situation escalated very quick leading to screaming, cussing and slamming doors.

you looked at him and wondered if you two would ever go back to how you used to.once he finished he laid down back facing you not saying a word, the next thing you know you hear soft snores coming from him.you walked to the bathroom and turned the shower on, feeling a little sore from chenle taking out his anger on you.

as the water hit your back, you begin to sob, knowing the love of your life is slipping away was the worst feeling in the entire world. you wouldn’t blame him though, your relationship had become extremely toxic.a few moments of you crying you hear the bathroom door open.

“ i’m coming in i have to piss” you hear chenle say softly

you quickly get ahold of yourself “ go ahead ” you respond your voice shaking a little.silence fell between you two for a few moments until he speaks up.

“ it’s because of me right”

“ what”

“ your crying that hard over me… over us” you go silent again not knowing what to say, that’s when chenle steps in the shower fully clothed saying nothing, just grabbing you pulling you into a hug.you take a minute to process what’s happening you feel the man in your arms start to shake before hearing him wail, in all of the years you’ve been together you have never once seen him cry so hard.you both stand in the shower with the water running embracing eachother as you two sob.he finally looks up at you with red eyes and quivering lips

“ please don’t leave me” he cried into your shoulder

“ shhh baby everything’s going to be okay”

“ but it’s not, it’s not y/n and i don’t know how to fix it”

you both soak in this very vulnerable moment and decide to sit down and have a conversation when you were done.

“ first of all chenle i’m not leaving you, i don’t know where you got that from but when i promised you forever i meant it”

“ second of all, i think we need to go to couples therapy” you say to him. he just stared at you

“ i think it’ll help, really, a friend of mine recommended me a good therapist. i’m going to fight for us chenle and i’ll do whatever it takes”

“ me too, i’ll go if that’s what you think will help”

“ i really do babe, i think it’ll help a lot” that night you two were making some sort of progress even though it doesn’t mean much because you knew at some point you two would regress and go back to square one but you had a glimpse of hope this time.instead of spending the night at your friends place avoiding chenle which would usually happen around this time of night.you lay cuddled on the couch watching a movie, you can feel chenle shifting as if he was uncomfortable.you got up to get him some water, when you came back chenle was standing up looking a little frantic.you were confused until you saw the tent in his pants.

“ really lele” you roll your eyes

“ you can never keep it in your pants” you laugh to yourself.

“ i’m sorry babe it just happens, i’ll go take care of it in the bathroom i’ll be right back” he says at you frown at him.

“ i mean you could do that or i don’t know you have your turned on girlfriend standing right in front of you” you smirk,he walks over to you picking you up making his way to the bedroom.throwing you down on the bed, immediately smashing his lips onto yours, grinding his clothed dick onto you as you moan into his lips, driving him crazy.

“ fuck i cant take it anymore” he rips your shirt and shorts off, taking your under garments with it too, leaving you completely naked.kissing a trail down your body he lifts your hips up a little to make you comfortable as he licks a stripe down your pussy

“ oh my god chenle” you moan, he smiles at you before diving completely into your heat, sucking at your clit you arch your back, lacing your fingers into his hair he pulls you forward flicking his tongue back and forth.you feel your orgasm building up, “ babe i’m coming” you scream as you release all over his face.you lay there catching your breath, for the first time in a very long time you felt content in the bedroom, for the first time in months he actually made you finish.chenle takes one if your legs lifting it onto his shoulder as he places his other hand on your waist, thrusting into you “ oh my god babe you’re so wet for me” he says as your hands grip the bedsheets, he flips you around arching your back for him he slams into you again with no warning, earning screams from you.continuously hitting your g spot you feel yourself about to cum again

“ chenle im gonna cum” you cry

“ wait for a little longer babe i want to come together”chenle has you a squirming mess under him, he has to keep one hand on your lower back keeping you arched as the other one is on your waist.

“ lele i cant hold it anymore please” is you beg

“ be a good girl y/n, i’m almost there” squeezing your eyes shut he turns you around again

“ look at me baby i wanna see you when we cum” chenle takes both of your legs bending them into your chest as he thrusts as hard as he can,his trusts become sloppy as he lets low groans out of his mouth.

“ fuck baby you ready” he asks

“ yes yes please”

“ cum for me babygirl” he demands as you both finish at the same time.chenle collapses onto you, not taking himself out of you yet.

“ fuck baby that was so good” he whispers kissing your neck

“ that’s the best sex we’ve had in so long” you smile

“ i know love, we definitely needed that”taking himself out of you he cleans you up and joins you back in bed.

“ i love you so much sweet girl, i promise we will make it through this rough patch” he kisses your forehead.

“ i know we will lele, i love you too”

** a year later**

you and chenle did end up going to couples therapy and it has changed your relationship for the better.you two haven’t gotten into fights since, you are in the honeymoon stage all over again, and let’s just say you two can’t stay off of eachother, you feel like teenagers again.the romance has sparked in your relationship again and it has never felt better.

you were currently joining him on his europe leg of his tour. waking up next to your man every morning in a new place had been a dream come true.today you were in paris , chenle had soundcheck and dance practice but other than that you had the night to yourselves since his show wasn’t until tomorrow.you stayed in bed most of the day catching up on rest until you receive a text from your boyfriend telling you he made dinner reservations tonight and to dress fancy.

you quickly got up and started getting ready.a few hours later you were finally ready as chenle made his way to pick you up.he was dressed in a nice white button down shirt and black slack pants, it took everything in you not to jump his bones right then are there.

the night was beautiful, he rented out the rooftop of a very fancy restaurant looking out onto the Eiffel Tower which shimmered every so often and had music playing soft instrumentals.you were left speechless.chenle however seemed a little nervous and quieter than usual.

finishing up your dinner you looked to your boyfriend.

“ chenle this is amazing really, thank you so much”

“ you deserve everything and more my love” he kisses your hand. you smile at him as he falls quiet again.he clears his throat.

“ let’s go look at the view huh” he suggests. he walks with you hand in hand as he leads you over to the edge of the rooftop.standing under a beautiful arch with vines and fairy lights you look at the Eiffel Tower in awe.

“ it’s so beautiful chenle, i’m never going to forget this moment” you turn to him and notice he’s not beside you anymore.confused you turn around to find him kneeling down on one knee holding out a small box with a beautiful diamond ring in it.

you gasp covering your mouth with your hands as tears stream down your cheeks.

“ y/n i have loved you from the moment i met you, never in my lifetime have i experienced a love greater than yours, we’ve been through so much together, i know that we can face whatever the world throws at us as long as we are together, i love you more than words can describe you have my whole heart, you have changed my life and i will forever be so grateful, through good seasons and bad i will always be by your side, i can not wait for our future together. (your full name) will you marry me?”

“ yes a million times yes” you say without hesitation as he slides the ring onto your finger pulling you into a kiss. you wrap your arms around his neck embracing him tightly.

“ i know we already promised forever a long time ago but i thought a big shiny ring would be a nice touch” chenle jokes as he kisses you again.

“ i cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you zhong chenle.”

—————————————————————————thank you for reading, i hope you enjoy!!!

[wallydrling]

go away (or don't)

pairing: wally darling/reader

rating: g

author's note: gender neutral reader to the best of my ability! i'm very new to welcome home so please be kind @:)

ao3 (it looks so much better there! go to hell, tumblr!)

Your relationship with Wally, new as it may be, is not without its challenges.

The transition from friends to something more had been a bit of a sticky subject at first, tacky to the touch. But a dozen long conversations and drawn-out explanations had really cleared a lot of things up, and by the end of your first official month as Home's newest couple, things had seemed to be tilting towards hopeful.

Now, as you stand in the middle of Wally's living room, arms folded over your chest, you're not positive that you didn't rush into things.

You aren't mad at him. He is standing just a few feet away, face carefully blank, arms limp by his sides. He is nearly impossible to be mad at. But for all your talk of boundaries, you'd forgotten to discuss something very important with him; your dedication to your friendship with Julie.

"She spends the night with you," Wally says, voice even. "A lot. I don't even get to spend the night with you."

He'd been upset to find out that your twice-weekly sleepovers with Julie hadn't stopped even after your relationship with him kicked into gear. You hadn't brought it up during any of your discussions because you didn't think it mattered. You weren't– you aren't– willing to change anything about your relationship with Julie. You won't sacrifice it. It's too important to you.

"Julie is my friend," you tell him. It's important to keep a level head. Getting upset will only make the situation worse. "I'm not going to stop spending time with her just because you and I are together."

"She lies in your bed," he says. "With you. Beside you."

Bickering with him is…not what you expected it would be. Despite him being more in touch with his emotions than ever, it still doesn't transfer well into his voice. He speaks slowly, the cadence near-robotic, and it's difficult for you to decipher how intense the emotions that he's feeling actually are right now. He doesn't look mad. He isn't smiling, and his eyes are slightly narrowed, but besides that, he is a blank slate. It's as infuriating as it is confusing.

"Wally," you sigh, uncrossing your arms. "She's just a friend, okay? I'm allowed to have friends."

He tilts his chin up defiantly, and there it is–something to latch on to.

"I don't think it's appropriate," he says. "Frank and Eddie don't sleep in other neighbors' beds."

"You do understand that we can't model our entire relationship around Frank and Eddie's, right?" You ask, quirking a brow.

"You're not listening," he huffs. His hands twitch at his sides, fingertips curling into his palms. "You're being unkind."

"No," your jaw flexes subconsciously. "You're being unreasonable."

He lifts his eyes to the ceiling. "Home? Do you think I'm being unreasonable?"

There's a subtle creak, and a consecutive bang, bang.

"Well, there you have it," his mouth curls up into a smile, but it is smug and a little bit cruel.

"Wha–You can't ask Home!" You exclaim, throwing your hands up. "That isn't fair! This is between you and I."

He mimics your earlier stance by crossing his arms over his chest. It's a little off; a little clunky, but he gets the gist of it. He looks closed off, and hurt, and maybe angry. You can't read his eyes well enough. It's a learning process, and he is the kind of book that people spend hundreds of years decoding.

"I think you've overstayed your welcome," He nods towards the front door, and it swings open. "Goodbye, neighbor."

You don't move. He's kicking you out? Your legs feel like they've been cased in cement, and your tongue is heavy in your mouth. No. The argument cannot end like this. There has to be a resolution, or the two of you will never come back from this. Your relationship is too new to handle something so detrimental.

"Wally," you try. His name sounds soft and sweet in your voice because, for all the bickering and the mean words, you cannot be mad at him. You just can't.

"Please leave," he says. He shifts on his feet. "I think I'm…mad. And I really, really don't want to be mad at you, but I don't know how not to be. So, you should go."

You appreciate the fact that he is attempting to explain his feelings. That he's digging deep, and being honest with you. You know that it hasn't been easy for him, learning about conceptualizing emotions, and letting himself take the time to decode them. He has struggled. You've helped him through almost-panic attacks too many times to count. He gets overwhelmed sometimes, and you know that, even for you, relationships aren't simple. Standing up to you, it must be difficult.

"Relationships are hard, sometimes," you say, taking a step towards him. "It's normal to be angry with your partner when you both disagree on something very important. And…I know that trying to talk about it can be frustrating."

He relaxes just slightly at your words; you see it in the way his shoulders droop. He still has his arms crossed over his chest, but he is looking at you now, and his eyes go round at the edges. They lose their sharpness.

"Frank and Eddie disagree on things, too," you continue. "Being partners with someone means compromising."

"Compromising," Wally repeats. "But you won't–you're not compromising with me."

"Let's sit down and talk about it some more," you suggest, offering him a warm smile. "We should never intentionally hurt each other, alright? If my sleepovers with Julie have hurt your feelings, I want to make that right."

You take a seat on his sofa, patting the spot next to you. He hesitates for a moment, and then sits down, too. His ankles cross, and he folds his hands in his lap.

"You don't like it when I have sleepovers with Julie because she lies in my bed with me?" You ask. You're careful with your words, with your tone. You don't want to upset him further, or have him close himself off.

He nods. "I've read Julie's romance books, and when two people love each other, they always share a bed."

Ah, yes. Since the realization of his feelings for you, Wally has been in love with the idea of love. He reads Julie's silly, cliché stories, and asks Frank and Eddie questions that are perhaps a bit too personal. He is smart and curious, and he's always wanting to learn. This–all things romance– has just been his newest fixation. You're not sure that Julie's books or Frank and Eddie's ever-changing dynamic are the best references for him, though. He is not like the love interest in a romance novel. He shouldn't try to compare himself to anyone else.

"Sharing a bed isn't always romantic," you explain. "There are a lot of different kinds of love. But," you reach out to place a hand on his knee, soothing, and he lets you. Does not move away, so you take that as a good sign. "If me sharing a bed with someone else makes you uncomfortable, I'm willing to compromise. How about when Julie comes over, she lies in my bed, and I sleep on the couch?"

He takes a moment to think about this. You see the cogs turning in his head, the way his mouth straightens out, and then pulls down at the corners.

"Okay," he says. "I think that would be…okay. I would feel happier with that."

"And," you tell him, "you can't keep basing your idea of love around what you read in books, okay? All relationships are different. You have to learn to navigate it through experience."

"I just," he looks down, eyes closing for a second. "I have questions, sometimes. I don't know where to find answers."

Your hand slides up to cup his cheek, and his skin goes a little pink beneath your touch.

"Next time you have a question, just ask me about it, alright?" You say. Your thumb smooths along his skin, and you brush a bit of blue hair behind his ear. "We'll work on it together."

"I like how that sounds," he smiles, eyes twinkling beneath high noon's light beaming in through the windows. "Together."

Pleased now, he scoots closer to you on the couch. His mouth curves up, and he gets this mischievous look on his face that you've come to associate with his silly little antics. He dives forward and kisses the round apple of your cheek, darting away with a sweet, "muah!"

"So you're not mad at me anymore, then?" You ask, tips of your ears warm.

He shakes his head. "Not mad. Sorry I tried to make you leave earlier."

You take his face between your hands, and squish his cheeks until his mouth puckers up. He looks goofy and open and so, so happy. Before you can talk yourself out of it, you press forward and kiss him on the mouth, once, then twice. The pink on his face goes deeper, and his ears turn red, too.

"I'm sorry for not taking your feelings seriously at first," you say. "I accept your apology. Do you accept mine?"

"I don't know," he shrugs. "Maybe a few more kisses will sway me."

You laugh, falling against his chest, and he wraps both arms around your shoulders. He is soft, and smells like cedar and sunlight. You breathe him in, and tilt your head back to leave a little kiss to his jawline.

"You drive a hard bargain, Darling. I suppose I've got no choice but to bend to your will."

You tackle him onto the couch until he's lying on his back, head propped up on the arm rest. You pin his wrists by his sides and leave chaste kisses all over his face, each one signed with a tiny smack, and a "muah!" He laughs, and it is still drawn out and slow and stale, but it is so very him, and that's all you have ever wanted.

He buries his devastatingly cute, "ha, ha, ha's" into your shoulder, and you kiss him and kiss him until the both of you are breathless, and the sun begins to set.

[pimosworld]

The story of us- Final Chapter

Pairing-Triple Frontier boys x f!reader

Chapter summary-The boys find a way to make your birthday very special.

CW-18+, Angst,Fluff,lots of fluff, tears but happy tears.

WK-5k

A/N- This is my first completed series so I’m very proud of myself for that accomplishment. I’m not saying goodbye to this group so please be on the lookout for future stories involving them as their relationship progresses. Thanks for sticking around 🤍 all of you.

[Series Masterlist][Main Masterlist]

Not beta read

Final chapter-It’s my party

“Come in officers.” You don’t skip a beat as you move aside to let the two men enter your home. Your training won’t allow you to let on that your heart is beating a mile a minute.

  You gesture them over to your dining room table to have a seat. Of course the couch feels more personal and you don’t want them to be comfortable. The more comfortable they are, the longer they’ll stay. You want to be able to sit with your nervous legs concealed under a table versus on display for them to judge your movements. 

  They likely know as much as they can about you. Your military background and a basic knowledge of your schooling and home life. What they likely don’t know is you are no basic militant soldier and you’ve had them clocked since they stepped through the threshold of your home. 

  Any form of torture or interrogation you’ve been through will make this look like child’s play. 

  You have a seat at the head of the table facing the door. Not offering them something to drink was another tactic in making sure they were uncomfortable enough to make this quick. 

  “We just want to ask you a few questions regarding your boyfriend Michael’s disappearance.”

  “Ex.” The officer who couldn’t keep his eyes away from the low cut neckline of your tank top looks up at you finally. “Sorry to interrupt but we broke up weeks ago.” 

  “Well that would explain why one of his coworkers reported him missing and not you.” Officer Williams seems to be offering up information you don’t necessarily need but could definitely be used to your benefit. “She seemed to be under the impression you two were still together.” 

  “We got into a pretty big argument and I asked him to leave. He hadn’t been acting himself lately and he didn’t really react well to my questioning his odd behavior.” You hold his eye contact as he waits for you to continue. “I have a box of his things that he never came to get if you want to take a look.” 

  He perks up at that and you stand to head out of the kitchen towards your bedroom. You don’t miss the way the other officer watches you walk clearly not having any sense of decorum about him. 

  You linger in the hallway a moment listening to their hushed voices. “She doesn’t know anything, let's just go.” 

  “I know but I need to go through the routine.” He says through gritted teeth. 

  Your leaving gave you a moment to breathe and come up with some idea of what you were going to say when they inevitably brought up the boys. 

  You set the box down in front of the shorter officer and he goes for it like a kid being handed a toy to keep himself busy. Leaving you with the one who had some semblance of professionalism. 

  He tilts his head towards the ornate bouquets on your countertop. “Those all for you? You must be a lucky woman.” 

  “Oh my friends spoil me, they dropped those off earlier.” Not entirely a lie.

  “What’s the occasion if you don’t mind me asking?” I do mind actually.

  “It’s my birthday in a few days.” The mention of your birthday makes you wonder if you would even be able to see them or know what’s going on. 

  The other officer seems bored of looking through the box of his random assortment of clothes and paperwork that he left as he slides it forward. 

  “I don’t really see anything in here but I’d like to take it off your hands if you don’t mind?” You throw your hands up and he tucks the box under his arm as he stands seemingly ready to go. 

  “Well officer Williams and I should be getting out of your hair.” He offers a tight lipped smile at his partner who doesn’t manage to disguise his eye roll from you. 

  You’re torn between acting like you don’t care about his disappearance and not wanting to come off like you care too much about your ex boyfriend. It would be a little suspicious even without evidence that you’re involved that you could care less about someone you spent over six months with. Truthfully you’re relieved. 

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t offer you any more information.” They wave you off in your attempt to sound concerned. 

  “It’s probably for the best since he was involved in some pretty shady business dealings.” The more competent of the two turns around to hand you his card. “I’m sure you’re more than capable of handling yourself, but if anyone comes around here giving you trouble or asking questions about him you give me a call.” His wink suggests something else and now you’ve all but written off these two idiots, who are no doubt on a wild good chase. 

  “Those your delta buddies?” The other officer gestures to their photo on the wall with you strategically placed in the middle. 

  Annoyed at pointing out the obvious but forced to bite back a smart retort. “Yes, that was taken shortly after I joined.” 

  “Well I’m sure you could call on one of them if you run into any trouble.” They chuckled to themselves as they stepped out into your front porch. 

  You have no idea 

  ****

  Will closes the laptop just after you close your front door. He runs his hands through his hair as he stares up at the ceiling, breathing a sigh of relief. It’s done

  Santiago’s idea to purposely leave you in the dark offered you the chance to have a genuine interaction should the cops show up. Which they assumed they would since you were his most recent relationship. 

  Ben’s already left from the table, no doubt to start packing his bags because he knew once the cops left they were going to head home. Ben may have worn his heart on his sleeve but they were all holding on by a thread not being able to talk to you or see you in person. 

  The little glimpses of you they got through the camera only served as a means of torture. Watching you do the most menial task in the kitchen while dancing or kicking your feet on the couch when the book your reading gets interesting. They want to be there for those things everyday. 

  Someday

  The next mission, which they had days to plan out being holed up in the safe house was orchestrating your birthday. You always told them not to make a big deal about it. Just being with you boys is allI want. 

  They skated on that for too long. You deserved more for your birthday than the normal hang out at the bar in your usual spot. You are a big deal so they should make you feel like one. Especially if they were going to show you how committed they are. 

  Everyone had their specific tasks tailored to their skill level and you’d be a fool to think each of them weren’t going to treat this like the most important thing they’ve ever done. 

  All doubts about their relationship or what people would think were out the window before they even stepped foot into the safe house. 

  If they were willing to travel to another country and steal a drug lord's money, they could just as easily tell society to fuck off when it comes to you.

  ****

  You haven’t slept that well in a long time. Some may find it odd after being questioned by the police, but Mike being gone puts you at ease. Knowing whatever happened to him was not by accident and whatever they did, it was for you. 

  You were completely ruined for any other man when you stepped foot into their lives. It’s a shame it’s taken you this long to notice because you’ve wasted so much time. 

  Your relationships with each of them over the years have developed into something you can’t live without. You couldn’t put your finger on why your brain wouldn’t allow you to look at any one of them as just a friend. It made things difficult when your lives were on the line so you shoved it down deep somewhere to hide away and never resurface. Until Tom passed away and all those feelings came flooding back and instead of embracing it, you ran head first in the wrong direction. 

  It’s a little sick and twisted but you really have your ex to thank for pushing them back into your life and making all of you open your eyes up to see the most perfect thing was already happening right in front of you. 

  You're thankful you have work to keep you busy today. You know it’s highly likely they’ll be coming home from wherever they are and you don’t want to sit by your phone all day waiting for a call or text. 

  You hop in your shower letting the hot water (scalding) as Frankie would put it cascade over you. Washing the last few weeks away, the steam is opening up your lungs and you feel like you can breathe for the first time in a long time. You nearly choke on it as you hear your phone ping from the counter. Almost breaking your neck and towel rack in the process of jumping out to read your text. 

  Benjamin: I'll be seeing you this week honey

                                          When

Benjamin:😘

  You stand their half naked soaking the mat beneath you as you wait for a response. You look up and see your blurry reflection in the mirror and get a sneaky idea. Your hands brush quickly over the mirror streaking the glass but revealing you just enough. You pull the towel up slightly before you bite your lip and snap a photo. 

  Image 

               Benjamin: Sweetheart you’re killing me. 

                    Benjamin: I’ll see you on Wednesday 

 

  ****

  Wednesday couldn’t come soon enough. Thankfully you weren’t assigned to the ER today so you had time to rush home and shower, unsure of when Ben would be showing up or if he was planning on staying.

  You put on your  favorite leggings that hugged your curves perfectly and your old army tee shirt. After giving yourself a once over in front of the floor length mirror you dabbed on some new perfume that you treated yourself to for your birthday. 

  The doorbell rings and you try not to sprint to the door as you shuffle through your hallway, taking a slow deep breath before opening it.

  Your legs nearly buckle at the sight of Ben on your porch, looking the most nervous you’ve ever seen him. He’s shakily holding a piece of canvas paper in his hands as he sways back and forth. He has a blue polo on to match his eyes and a pair of tan slacks. His hair is combed back out of his face and he looks so handsome you could cry. 

  “I missed you.” He breathes out like it’s the first time his lungs have had air in weeks. 

  You can’t help yourself when you launch into his arms and he clings to you like his life depends on it. 

It feels like an eternity as you stand on your front porch just holding him, breathing in his scent. A new cologne you don’t recognize that washes over you. 

  “Oh shit the paper.” He reluctantly lets you go to smooth out the paper he dropped on the ground as you try to glance at it and he holds it back from you with a wink. 

  “What’s that?” You gesture towards it as he skims it over again like he’s reciting lines. 

  “It’s an itinerary.” He smiles at you then and your heart can’t take how much you’ve truly missed him. 

  You step aside awkwardly to let him in but he doesn’t move from his spot on the porch. “Are you coming in?” 

  “I’m not supposed to.” He sounds a little defeated as he says it which causes even more confusion for you. “Read the itinerary and leave…”

  “Oh so you’re here on strict orders?” You’re hoping the teasing will ease some of this tension. “So read it to me.” You step further into the house far enough away that he would have to follow. 

  “You think you’re slick?” You nod your head as you sit down on the couch with your legs tucked under you. 

  He mumbles something under his breath about getting in trouble as he sits next to you. “There will be a special delivery here, when you get off work tomorrow.” 

  “What..”

  “Obviously I can’t tell you what it is or that would ruin the surprise. Just be here to sign for it at 7.” He shifts a little on the couch so he’s facing you. 

  “Friday Maria is taking you to do some kind of spa day.” His emphasis on spa has you laughing. 

  Santiago’s sister Maria was always your number one fan. She was the woman you could confide in when you were constantly surrounded by men who just didn’t understand. You know she always secretly hoped you’d end up with Santi but you’re sure she has no idea what’s actually going on. She just recently moved closer to Santi after her divorce and you feel a little guilty for not having reached out sooner. You didn’t want to burden her with your own issues when she was just getting her life back together.

  “Saturday at seven a limo will arrive to pick you up and take you to a separate location for dinner.” He sets the paper face down on the coffee table and smooths his hands along his slacks. 

  “Ben, the first rule of kidnapping is never let them take you to a second location.” 

  “Don’t worry sweetheart, you can trust the driver.” He winks at you again and if he doesn’t stop you're going to have to glue his eye shut. 

  “So…I guess you have to go now right?” 

  “Ya…I should go.” Ben doesn’t move as he watches you fidget with a run on the couch thread. 

  His hand reaches out to still your movements and you finally look at him. It’s been so long since he took you on that date and by the way you’re looking at him it would be so easy to just walk you down your hallway. To the bedroom he’s been in so many times to simply sleep. He could cave like Santiago and you would let him. 

  He leans in, pressing you back against the headrest of the couch. His face is just inches from yours as you close your eyes. His fingers trace the outline of your bottom lip and then trail down your neck as he cups the back of your head and finally presses his lips to yours. It’s soft and slow, like you're just breathing each other in. He tastes like mint with a hint of your cherry lip balm that you left in his car ages ago. 

  He pulls away reluctantly and rests his forehead against yours. “I promise after Saturday, we won’t have to keep stopping this short.” 

  You groaned under your breath. “I don’t know what that means.” 

  He kisses your forehead and stands from the couch, pulling you with him. Without your shoes on it feels like he towers over you. You wrap your arms around him one last time, burying your face in his chest. 

  “You’ll know what it means soon enough hon’.”

  ****

  Texting the boys to find out what your special delivery was of course yielded no results. You resigned yourself to guessing throughout your work day as to what it might be. 

  Your house couldn’t possibly hold any more flower arrangements and you don’t think they would get you a pet. Or would they? You don’t think they would do something that rash for your birthday, but then again Mike was nowhere to be found and that wasn’t of his own doing. 

  You make it home just in time to make yourself a quick dinner, grilled cheese and tomato soup one of your favorites. You’re hardly paying attention to the show you put on when the doorbell rings. You bolt up from the couch and open the door hoping to see one of the boys. 

  A beautiful woman in a crisp black suit is standing next to a rack with black garment bags lined along it. 

  You look down briefly at your shorts and oversized shirt. You’re two for two opening the door to some very well dressed individuals, while in your lounge clothes. 

  I have a delivery, I’ll need you to sign off as she says your name. She hands you a small pad to sign and you politely step aside as she wheels it into your home. 

  “Is there anywhere in particular you’d like me to place this?” 

  “There is fine, thank you.” You haven’t torn your eyes from the rack as you try to decipher what’s inside.

  She offers you a courteous smile as she exits through the front door. You stand there briefly as you watch her walk to a sleek black delivery van and drive away. 

  You slam the door and push the rack to your bedroom so fast you almost knock it over. It’s safe to assume it’s clothing so you strip down to your panties and fish your nice bra out of your top dresser drawer. 

  The sound of the zipper and rustling fabric is all you can hear over the sound of your rapid breaths. Your hands are shaking with excitement as you open the first bag to reveal a navy blue satin dress. You take it off the hanger and notice the intricate straps on the back, opting to forgo those and just step into it. 

  You pull the thin straps over your shoulder as you look at yourself in the large mirror in your bedroom. It’s been a while since you got really dressed up, and despite your unkempt hair and no makeup you feel so beautiful in it. 

  You smooth your hands down the silky fabric and straighten up a little. 

  You look good

  Your excitement starts to build as you quickly realize you have several more items to try on. You delicately extract yourself from this dress so as to not damage it. There’s one way you get to keep all of these so you need to treat them very carefully until you decide what you’re wearing. 

  The next dress is a burnt orange color with a velvety smooth fabric. You brush your thumb across it reveling in the way it feels, knowing how good it will feel in your skin. 

  It is decidedly less difficult than the first and stretchy enough that you can pull it over your head. It has thicker straps and a slit going up your left thigh. The first dress was beautiful but this is leading so far. 

  You set his dress on the hanger and put it in your closet before moving on to the next. 

  The next is a bright yellow strapless dress. The fabric is chiffon and it’s so far the most revealing thing you could possibly own. It’s stunning when you pull it out but you’re also wondering how exactly you're going to zip this. It’s sort of origami on the top and has a train which you love. 

  You zip it as far as you can by yourself and even with it slightly agape in the back the boning in the bodice is cinching you in. You round your shoulders back with your hands on your hips as you marvel at the image before you. Part of you wanted to take a picture of each one and send it but now you’re certain they want this to be a surprise. 

  If picking the best of four was going to be your future you were going to have to get really good at making diplomatic decisions. 

  The final garment bag has a note attached to the top. 

  We know you’ll look beautiful in any of these but please pick your favorite to wear on your birthday. Don’t be worried about the weather or being in front of a crowd when making your decision. 

  As if they could read your mind. They know you might think twice about wearing a few of them in public and the humidity at times could be unbearable even with nothing on.

  They are all yours to keep. Happy Birthday Honey. 

  You feverishly wipe your eyes and set the note down on your bed. 

  The final garment bag reveals a sparkling red dress. You walk backwards as you pull it out and the layers of fabric trail behind it. You hold it up to your chest in the mirror and try your best to compose yourself. It’s all so overwhelming and exhilarating all at once. 

  You're careful with the straps as you step into the dress. They might as well be non-existent with how thin they are. The sweetheart neckline is doing wonders for your chest and the silhouette billows out into an A line skirt. You do a twirl in the mirror as the fabric rustles the ground. You feel like a princess in this dress and you find yourself staring for far longer than you want to. 

  You glance around looking for your phone, remembering you left it in the living room. You traipse through the house in your dress and find it sitting on the arm of the couch. It’s been over an hour. A text from Santi not long ago is your only notification. 

  Santiago: What ya doing cariño 

  You type out a quick reply and wait until you see those three dots. 

                          Playing dress up

  Santiago: How is it going

                            Very well

  Santiago: Which one are you wearing now

                            You know I can’t tell you

  Santiago: It’s the red one

                            Goodnight Santiago

  Santiago: Goodnight cariño 

  ****

  You're nervously pacing your living room, waiting for Maria to arrive. You haven’t seen her since the wedding and that marriage fell apart faster than it was conceived. You’re embarrassed that you haven’t reached out to see how she’s doing but Colombia happened around the same time and you both took a step back. Days turned into weeks turned into months and neither of you knew where to pick up again. 

  Your doorbell rings ripping you from your thoughts as you take a deep breath for the third time this week and answer the door. 

  Her back is to you, admiring the flowers on your trellis when you open the door. She turns to you with that same blank expression that Santiago has all but perfected. The tears brimming her eyes give way to the demeanor she’s clinging to. 

  Much like Santiago it doesn’t take much for her to break as she steps forward and pulls you into her arms. You can hardly understand each other as you mumble apologies through tears and a little bit of her hair is in your mouth as you cling to her. It’s sloppy and messy and you love it. You missed her so much and the relief washes over you at the realization that she missed you just as much. 

  “I think we both need this today.” She leans back and frames your face with her hands, wiping your tears with her thumbs. “Are you ready to be pampered?” 

  You nod, still too overwhelmed to speak without choking back tears. 

  “Okay Honey let’s go.”

  ****

  You’re thankful they booked you a couples massage. The thought of being alone right now after spending such a great day with your friend was paralyzing. 

  She had a lot of questions for you about your life over the last few years. You didn’t have a lot of answers for her but you did your best to put her at ease. 

  You're lying side by side on separate tables as two strangers try to rub years of stress and worry out of your sore muscles. It’s comfortably quiet for some time as you take in the tranquil white noise and smell the lavender and eucalyptus in the room. 

  “I’m glad you guys finally figured it out.” Her voice is slightly muffled with her head down on the massage table. You don’t know if she’s referring to Santi or if she even knows half of what’s going on. “I just have one question for you.” 

  “Sure…ask me anything.” 

  “Do you know what you’re doing?” You think for a moment at the weight of her question. You turn your head on its side so she can hear you clearly before answering. 

  “Not a clue.” 

  She turns her head to you and smiles. “Good…people who know what they’re doing scare me.” 

  You both laugh and she reaches out to lock her finger with yours as they dangle between the two tables. 

  ****

  You stare at yourself for the second time this week in this beautiful dress. It was perfect for whatever tonight had in store. 

  It’s five till and you're anxiously awaiting your ride as you stand by the door placing the strappy heels on your feet. 

  For the first time all week, you hear a light knock instead of the doorbell. When you open it you’re met with Frankie dressed in a tight black button down and black slacks. His hair is on display which you assume has some kind of product or gel. His brown curls frame his face perfectly as he smiles down at you. 

  He leans in, placing a kiss on your cheek. “You look…beautiful.”

  “You don’t look too bad yourself Morales.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment even though you didn’t pick my dress.” He takes your hand as you  step out onto the front porch. You turn around but he’s already got his spare key in hand, locking up behind you. 

  “You’ll just have to take me somewhere I can wear it.” 

  “That can be arranged.” He helps you down the steps as a long black limousine comes into view in front of your driveway. He opens the door for you and helps you slide in before he starts to close it. 

  “What are you doing?” 

  “Someone has to drive hermosa.” He closes the door, shrouding you in darkness until the car starts up and the back seats are lined with soft yellow lights. 

  This is by far the most extravagant display of affection and attention they’ve ever paid to your birthday. Every year you’d spent together you told them you simply just wanted to enjoy their company. 

  It didn’t bother you that you always went a little too hard on their birthdays because that’s how you show love. You think this may be their way of making up for doing just the bare minimum and then some. 

  It’s hard to tell where you're going with the sun having set and the dark tint of the windows. It’s not until you pull up to the airfield where Frankie works that you recognize your surroundings. 

  Coming into view is an open hanger with the boys standing in front. It’s a beautiful sight seeing them all standing there…waiting for you. Santi and Ben are talking to each other as Will stares down at a small piece of paper. 

  Frankie heads over to them before opening your door. Santiago looks at him and grins as he makes his way over. He has the most adoration in his eyes as he opens the door for you. 

  “Fuck…you look beautiful.” 

  He holds his hand out for you as you try to swallow the lump in your throat. Ben lets out a low whistle as you exit the car. You’ve been in hostage situations less nerve wracking than this moment. 

  They lead you to the open hanger and you’re taken aback at the romantic set up. A singular plane in the background.White roses and candles line the table set up for five. 

  “So…how did we do?” Frankie’s deep baritone voice settles into your bones as his hand rests against your back. 

  How do you tell them it’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for you? How do you tell them you’ve been waiting for this moment longer than you’d care to admit? 

  You turn to him then as he sees the tears in your eyes. 

  “Please don’t cry.” 

  “Don’t worry they’re happy tears.” You laugh as he wipes your cheeks. 

  Frankie pulls up a chair behind you and you sit as he goes to stand by the other three. 

  Will digs into his pocket and pulls out the piece of paper he was reading when you arrived. He opens it and folds it back quickly. 

  “I was going to read some things we all wrote down, but it doesn’t sound right anymore.” He pauses briefly as the others stare in confusion. “I’m sick of listing out reasons why this works. I can’t explain in words how I feel…how we feel about you.”

  “You’re doing great.” The sarcasm dripping from Benny’s voice has you chuckle. 

  You’re glad Will seems just as nervous as you are. He was always the one who had a way with words and now here he is unable to form a coherent thought. 

  “All I’m saying is, we want you to give whatever this is between us a chance. Life feels so much better with you in it everyday.”

  You can hear yourself saying yes before he even finishes what he’s said.

  “Did you expect me to say anything other than yes.” 

  “I don’t know sweetheart, I’ve never done anything like this before.” Ben claps his brother on the shoulder as they all surround you. 

  “So…what do we do now?” 

  Santi leans in and kisses your cheek. 

  “We have our first date.” 

Comments and reblogs are much appreciated

The dresses

The birthday

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[wizardfrog69]

Hellloo!! Please can you do a one-shot where fyodor and his s/o had a little fight (like normal couple) and s/o got upset about his talk and she start avoiding him and doesn't even sleep in the same bed as him (for 3 days) because she still upset and when he is in front of her she make a serious cold face - _-! What will fyodor do in such a situation!!! Please i need to know!!! Aghhh!! I neeeed to knoooooooooow😭

Thanks for the request!!

'•.¸♡Just a little fight♡¸.•'

Fyodor x reader

Fluff

Masterlist

Enjoy!

Fyodor had an argument with you three days ago, ever since you have been avoiding him and even sleeping on the couch! He could tell you were pissed off at him, but he seemingly didn't care. He wouldn't try and talk to you or make up for the fight you had, which made you even more pissed off and sad. It made you feel as if he didn't care about you.

On the other hand, Fyodor, once he had to sleep alone the first time in a long time, felt weirdly lonely. He didn't like this lonesome feeling dragging him around, but why did he feel this way? He liked being alone, others would just descract him, especially you, so why wasn't he happy to be alone again? He kept contemplating these thoughts, but seeing you ignoring him, he couldn't see your cute smile and hear your adorable laugh. You wouldn't tell him what your day brought you, and the intern informed him on the world around so he could plan his little evil schemes.

"Why did he miss you so much?" Was the only thought on his mind as he kept ignoring you, and he did nothing to mend the relationship. He could tell you felt more and more hurt day by day. What was going on???? Fyodor was very confused, which interfered with his work, so he decided to make you stop.

One night, you were in the living room reading a book next to the lamp. You weren't really into the book, but it had good reviews, and you were only on the second chapter. The soft sounds of footsteps hitting the floor caught your ear. You could tell it was Fyodor, so you looked up and took off your reading glasses (if you wear them, idk). There was something odd about him as he just stood there in the doorway staring at you, he was so stiff and awkward.

"What do you want?" You speak in a brusque manner at him. He looks like he's about to say something, but he's too stubborn to say it, so you go back to reading. "Sorry." A voice you haven't heard in three days spoke up. You looked up at Fyodor with vide eyes. Shock is an understatement to what you felt at that moment. The word sounded so foreign. You didn't care that it didn't sound genuine, and it felt forced. He still apologised. How?

Before you could say anything, Fyodor left as he thought you didn't accept his so-called apology and he had other things to do. When he was walking away, he suddenly felt a pair of familiar arms and a weight on his back. It worked! His apology worked. He felt a weight break off his shoulders. But that meant he was wrong. He thought the apology wouldn't work. Next time, he won't let you be so pissed off for so long as it clearly messed with his mind.

"You could have said it earlier, you know." You teased him a bit and kept hugging him. You forgave him a long time ago. You just felt hurt that he kept ignoring you.

That night, you made sure to cuddle all of the cuddles you missed over the past two nights.

༺♡༻ 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 ⋆ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 ༺♡༻

Sorry for leaving again.

Also, this account is over a year old now! Yay! Thank you all for your support, and I should have made this a separate post, but idc.

Thank you to everyone greatly.

Have a good night/day and stay hydrated and do something you love!

—With lots of love, Azrael the wizard frog :)

[neomujinjja]

Bite Me

Pairing: Vampire! Jay x Human! reader

Length: 1.43k words Genre: imagine, drama

Warnings: not edited, mentioning wanting to cry, feeling nervous, slight angst, mini argument, use of the words: hissing & snarled, insecure (or is he?) jay, the phrase 'kicked puppy', regret is brought up a lot, mention of killing people, jay's pov at the end, some long paragraphs (especially in jay's pov)

Synopsis: Your relationship with Jay has developed further, and you're sure that he's the one you want to be with for the rest of your life. Speaking of your life, you tell your vampire boyfriend to change you.

Note: This is continuation of 'Still a Monster' but this will still make a sense alone. I use underline italics for sarcasm and underline for emphasis. I wasn't expecting this ending, but the story had a mind of its own and we ended up here 😂

@kim2005bomi

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"This was such a lovely dinner" you tell your boyfriend as he gathers up the dishes. "Thank you, Jay" you say as you gently pull him down for a kiss.

"Anything for you, baby" Jay said as the two of you separated. Today was the 5th anniversary of your relationship, still going strong despite Jay's worry that you leave after learning about his vampirism.

"I have one more gift for you". Your eyes sparkling as you thought about the surprise you had for the immortal man. He turned to look at you with his brows furrowed and a slight pout (one that he would deny having if you mentioned it).

"You didn't have to get me anything else. You've already given me a new necklace and watch".

"But I want to". Mummering under your breath, you added "it's more of gift for the both of us".

"What did you say?" Jay asked, looking up from the sink. You only smiled and shook your head in return. Taking his hands, you led the male towards the couch; similar to when you learned about his secret. Your heart was beating was fast as you grew more nervous and you were sure Jay could hear it. The vampire tighten his grip on your intertwined hands, as if to confirm that thought, before leaning in to peck your lips once again. Taking a deep breath, you decided to plainly tell him how you felt and your thought process.

"Jay," you stopped looking into his eyes and the love that you found in his made you want to burst into tears. "You're the love of my life and I want to have a forever with you. And I trust you so much which is why I want you to change me" you told him, trying to maintain eye contact but ultimately looking down to you conjoined hands. You were hoping that he felt the same way, that he wanted a forever with you the way that you did with him. Jay cleared his throat and pulled his hands away from yours. It was enough to make your desire to cry grow stronger.

"And what?! Turn you into a monster like I am?!" he hissed as he got up. "No way. There's no way I would willingly do that to you" Jay adamantly continued. He walked away, back into his kitchen and stood at his sink.

"Jay!" you cried out at his words. While you knew he was struggling with the things done in his past, you didn't think that he still saw himself as a monster. "I don't think of you that way, and I know you don't think of the rest of the boys like that" you said, walking up to him and pointing your finger into his chest. Jay snarled at the action and his fangs glimmered at you in warning. "And I know you wouldn't let me do something that I'll come to regret. So other than 𝑚̲𝑜̲𝑛̲𝑠̲𝑡̲𝑒̲𝑟̲ reasoning, what are you scared about?" you argued back, not backing down from the male, glaring into his eyes now opposite of earlier this evening. You weren't scared of Jay, he was only acting tough and trying to get you to drop the subject, he wouldn't actually hurt you.

"And that's why I'm not going to change you!" the male snapped but despite his demeanor, and proving your point, took a step back to create distance. You rolled your eyes in response as you put your hands onto your hips.

"What part of you being the love of my life, did you not hear?!"

"But that's only for now! What happens when you change your mind?" he screamed and it clicked for you why he was against the decision. He was scared, scared of being abandoned, scared of you leaving him.

"Jay, my love, did I leave when you told me a vampire?" you asked him, stopping to wait for his answer. The vampiric male only shook his head, not verbally responding to you. Jay's demeanor had changed dramatically, no longer acting aggressive. If it wasn't for the situation, you would liken him to a kicked puppy. "I've continued to stay by your side in these past five years. And I would hope that you're not, but hearing you say that makes me wonder if you're doubting the love I have for you" you continued before pausing. Turning away from the male, you let out a shaky sigh. "But either way, I wouldn't want to force you into something that you don't want to do". You walked away from Jay, heading towards the bathroom. You didn't want to leave him alone, for fear that you'd be confirming his fears, but you need a moment alone.

ꨄ︎

Jay crouched as he heard a door close, he wasn't sure where Y/N had gone. He leaned his forehead onto the cabinets, scrunching up his hands into fists. Jay banged his head on the door as the sound of muffled crying emerged from somewhere in the apartment. He hated when Y/N would cried, e̲s̲p̲e̲c̲i̲a̲l̲l̲y̲ n̲o̲w̲ when he was the reason behind it. The vampiric male understood Y/N's why, he wanted the same thing. Jay would love to have Y/N by his side for eternity, but this popped up from nowhere. He didn't want his partner to do something that they could come to regret. Jay stood up, abandoning the spot to find the room Y/N was in. Stopping at where the cries resonated from, he knocked at the bathroom door. "Babe, come out when you're ready to talk?" he told the other before walking off again. Jay sat in the couch, after the heated discussion, he wanted to give Y/N space.

ಇ

Jay turned his head around as the door screeched open. Y/N sniffled as they walked into the living room. He stood up but hesitated pulling them in a hug, despite his want to give comfort. Jay watched as they sat in the arm chair to the side, effectively creating some distance between the two of them. Y/N looked downcast, their head and shoulder curled into their chest. The human's hands gripping their elbows hidden in the jacket they were wearing. "Baby.." Jay trailed off as he stared at them, still standing in the same spot he'd froze in. The vampire cleared his throat before continuing and slowly settling onto his previous seat. "Baby, I just don't want you to regret anything. Changing means leaving a lot more behind than anything that you could gain in the immortal future. It means leaving your family, friends, the place you live; basically everything and everyone you know. I don't want for you to look at me with hatred for having changed you in 100 years" he explained to his partner. While Jay's dead heart had fluttered at the thought of Y/N being a vampire with him; he knew they didn't know everything they would be getting into. Jay stills feels guilt from killing innocent people, but he also hated watching his family age and grow from afar. It was torture, one he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy let alone his lover. "You would never be able to return to the life that you have now. Your family would mourn you with a funeral, the people who care about you will cry over your death. You'd outgrow not only your parents, but your siblings and their children. You'd never get to see them up close again; who knows if you'd ever get to see them the way you know them again. Changing you means changing every aspect of your life" Jay pointed out further to the downtrodden Y/N. They had looked up from their lap, Jay could now see how red rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. They let out a whimper at the immortal's words. It was obvious they hadn't realized exactly the full extent they would be giving up in exchange for eternal life. Jay held out his hand in comfort, leaning towards the other's direction, he was surprised by the hand that overlapped his. He squeezed it as much as he possibly could without hurting Y/N. "But i̲f̲ in a year, you still want to be with me like that. Then we can talk about me biting you more, but for now think about it" the vampire let the human know. Jay knew he couldn't ignore Y/N's wishes and words either. So if they really wanted to become a vampire to continue being with him then he'd make that possible, but only after a fully informed decision.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Got Me Thinking

Part 8: When I Needed You Most

Synopsis: This is supposed to be a time of healing, so you let Jack know what you had been feeling since the last time the two of you spoke despite how difficult it is. You feel like he failed you, but unexpectedly, a piece of paper is about to change both of your lives forever.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Series Masterlist 💕

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

As hard as it was for Jack to walk away from you that night, he knew if he had wavered for a second then he would have instantly changed his mind and went right back to you. It was a difficult decision for him to make, but when he really sat down and thought about it, it made the most sense. A lot had occurred within the last six months and knew that your anxiety was probably getting the best of you and instead of putting pressure on you by being in the situation, he decided to take a step back in order for both of you to begin to properly heal.

He didn't leave until you fell asleep and made sure you were safe at this point, he was praying that you didn't run off again.

He drove back to his house in silence and was surprised to walk in to see Kelsey gathering all of her things. Or what was left of them for that matter. Ever since he had gotten back from Paris and being with you, of course an argument took place about the paparazzi pictures when Kelsey finally confronted him and he owned up to it.

He loved you and didn't love her and didn't want to be with her anymore.

“Oh, I thought that you would be with her. I was trying to be gone before you got back.” She quietly said as she was zipping one of her suitcases.

“I was earlier.”

“Can we just talk for a second? No bullshit.” She asked and Jack slowly nodded before shrugging, because at this point what did he have to lose?

“I knew. I knew and I didn't want to believe it. From the moment you brought her to your show and I saw how everyone gravitated towards her, I instantly got jealous because I couldn't even remember the last time you looked at me like how you looked at her. Actually, you never have. Not even on our wedding day. Since then, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to compete and when Clay told me that you and her were just friends, I highly doubted it.”

“Kelsey…”

“Just let me finish. Please. I'm sorry for what I did to you and I'm sorry for how I've treated you overall for these last few months.”

“Hmm, more so an entire two years, but go on.”

“I deserved that. I'm realizing how bad I've hurt you and I started pushing you away so you going back to your ex is not surprising and I should have seen it coming. I just want you to be happy at the end of the day and I now know that Y/N is the one who brings you happiness and not me. I should have been able to realize this on my own, but it took me talking to my therapist and my sister to see how wrong I was. I mean I cheated first so I guess this is my karma.”

“At one point in time, I did see myself being with you for the rest of my life, but Kelsey, you changed and it wasn't for the better.”

“That's fair and I agree. I wasn't the nicest person. I just…. want this divorce to go as smoothly as possible so whatever you want me to sign, I'll do it. Here's your key back. And I wish the best for you and Y/N, jealousy aside, she seems like an amazing girl who loves and cares about you a lot. I'm sorry that I took you for granted. I know now that we were kinda doomed from the beginning because of what I did. Take care of yourself and take care of Y/N.” Kelsey placed the house key in Jack’s hand before grabbing her suitcase and making her way towards the front door.

Once the door shut, Jack had sat down on the couch playing with the key in his hands and trying to make sense of what had just happened. If circumstances were different, you would be the first person that he told, but figured that it was best to give you your space.

—

You didn’t bother moving when you heard the front door open knowing that it was Tania who just got done her shift and had the rest of the day to herself which meant that she would be all up under you and not letting you out of her sight.

“Y/N, are you watching White Men Can't Jump again? This is the fourth time today and maybe the fifteenth time this week.” Tania said as she came into your bedroom to see you surrounded by snacks and Jack's face on the TV.

“I miss him and he hates me.” You quietly responded before stuffing another cheese puff into your mouth.

You were back in Calabasas in your house and Tania had been staying with you because everyone just knew that you were probably going to make a run for it again, even though you had said that you weren't.

“He does not hate you and I'm sure he misses you too. But you damn near gave all of us a heart attack…. again. I got on the first flight I could find to come and look for your ass.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Stop it. Stop apologizing. What's done is done. Now you have to start healing. Did you call that therapist that my cousin had recommended?”

When you were quiet, she grabbed the remote to press pause.

“How are you supposed to heal if you won't even try? This is not what you do to start to heal.”

“I'll do it tomorrow.”

“And I'm going to keep bothering you until you do.”

“Tania, I literally uprooted the life that I've known for like the past 5 years for him all to be like we need to work on ourselves before we be together how we want to be. Like what the fuck? You couldn't have figured that out before? In that regard, I'm pissed at him.”

“And I see why because I would be too. However, look at it from this perspective. He loves you enough to be honest and tell you that because he wants the relationship to be successful. We are all literally rooting for the two of you. I'm going to be here with you every step of the way. You can always call him, because what's stopping you? But… what the hell are you eating? Did you just dip your cheese puff in cream cheese and peanut butter?”

“What? I'm hungry?”

“No, that is the diet of someone who is pregnant.”

You looked over at her and rolled your eyes as you grabbed another one.

“You are literally so dramatic. I can't be. Already took a test when I was with Jack and it was negative. I'm just hungry like I said. Stop making a big deal out of everything.”

“Y/N, you have never eaten that when you're hungry so cut the bullshit.”

All of a sudden, a wave of nausea hit you and you then hopped up to run into the bathroom emptying the contents of your stomach with Tania right behind you.

Once you were finished, you stood up and brushed your teeth before splashing cold water on your face and Tania was eyeing you through the mirror.

“There’s a baby in there.”

“No there isn't and stop wishing that on me. I can't have a baby right now because that is only going to complicate things. It's not like me and Jack are exactly talking to one another.”

“Let's just take another one and see. I'll go buy it.”

All you did was let out a groan before rolling your eyes at her.

“Auntie Tania reporting for duty.”

“I can still kick you out of my house.”

—

Jack had been pacing back and forth in the studio while staring at his phone debating on if he was going to call you. It had been a few weeks and he wanted to check in on you and make sure that you were okay, but he wasn't quite sure if you would be willing to talk to him.

A few people came with him to Nashville to start working on new music, but truth be told, he did it to get out of Louisville and to hopefully get his mind off of you.

And his plan was failing…. Miserably. He couldn't focus for more than thirty minutes at a time.

“Will you just call her already?” Clay asked while glancing at his older brother.

“If you keep this up, you’re going to run a hole in the floor and I'm not paying for it.” Neelam said from behind him as she walked into the room.

“I'll call her for you!” 2fo yelled from the corner as he had just opened a bag of cheetos.

“I don't understand why you're acting like this when you were the one who broke it off with Y/N in the first place.” Urban quietly said and Jack shot him a look.

“I didn't break it off! We're taking a break. Hiatus if you will.”

“Why are you yelling at us? We didn't tell you to do that. It seems like you're more miserable now then you were when you and Kelsey were a thing. If you could call it that.”

“Ew, I just got chills and not the good kind.” Clay confessed and Urban stifled a laugh.

“We needed to. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think it was important. She literally had all of us looking for her for hours and didn't even think to let anyone know that she was okay.”

“Still better than Kelsey in my book.”

“URBAN!” Neelam scolded and he held his hands up in defense.

“Just call her.” Clay said as he picked up Jack's phone and handed it to him.

“She probably doesn't want to talk to me.”

“Hmm, I wouldn't either after I left my husband, quit my job, and moved back home to be with you and then you break up with me.”

“URBAN, FOR THE LAST TIME WE DIDN’T BREAK UP.”

“But yall are not together though.” Clay said while taking a long sip of his smoothie as he was backing up Urban and Jack sighed.

“Not too much on my mans now! He fumbled a baddie though.” 2fo piped up with cheeto stained fingers as Jack shook his head.

“Jack…. I don't know who allowed you to be an adult because the math is NOT mathing when it comes to you and making decisions regarding relationships. Y/N is EVERYTHING you want! And you have your opportunity right in front of you! Go and call your girl.”

Jack didn't have a chance to respond as his phone vibrated in his hand to see that it was a facetime call from you.

“Look at his face, it's her!”

“ANSWER IT!”

Once your face popped up on the screen, Jack could tell that you had been crying and immediately asked why you were upset.

“Buttercup, what's going on?”

“Are you by yourself? Because this can't wait.”

“Give me a minute.” Jack responded as he left the room to walk down the hallway.

Once he was in a secluded corner, he asked you to tell him what was going on.

In response you simply switched the camera view to show a piece of paper and the section that was highlighted on it.

Jack's jaw had now hit the floor.

He had to read it multiple times to make sure he had read it right.

“Is that? Is that real?” He quietly asked and you got a dumbfounded look on your face as you turned the camera back to you.

“That was a dumb question. I'm sorry, but how?”

“She's saying that when I did it the first time, it's possible that it was too early and that's why.”

“Fuck.”

“That's all you have to say?” You asked catching a slight attitude because you were growing increasingly annoyed.

“I just… I'm surprised that's all and I definitely wasn't expecting this.” Jack said, attempting to plead his case.

“And I was?”

“Y/N, please. The last thing I want to do is fight with you. We're going to get through this.”

“There is no we in this unless we're together and last time I checked, we weren't. And keep in mind that was your choice. You left when I needed you the most and didn't even think twice about it. You saw that I was hurting and what did you do? Decide that it wasn't the best idea for us to be together even though you knew how bad I wanted to be.”

“Buttercup….”

“I'll talk to you later I guess.”

“Wait!”

Before he could get another word in, you hung up the phone.

[vitzi9]

Patience is the key to success (2)

Masterlist if you want to read my others things. Part 1 here.

CW/TW: yandere-manipulative-obsessive-stalker-ethan, fem reader, smut, no p in v, depressed reader(but really), suicidal thoughts

i'm trying to post this quick because I crave attention, whatever its insults, compliments, likes or repost, idc. I want ppl to know i'm existing. i have a big oral test tomorrow and im really bad at speaking before someone (hence why im writing instead) so i just need to know im not totally useless in the society and that im, at the very least, making people enjoy my things. sorry for the rant, i have a big headhache, probably gonna die ✌️😚

the smut is really bad btw but like really but im bad at writing them but i need to to improve (26/06/2023) (5226 words)

"Let's just finish watching the movie now." you say and Ethan doesn't make you repeat as he goes straight to the couch.

You felt much better after that little talk. Ethan did not say much but in his words, there was a lot more. He was planning to be with you a long time. He does not want to ruin things. It made you so happy. Every fiber in you was warm thinking of it. You were at peace.

Ethan was calm after that, albeit moving uncomfortably sometimes. (maybe because of his boner?) He was just as cuddly as when you arrived. His head laid flat on your chest, rising up and down with each one of your breath. Your fingers brush his curl slowly as you hear his breathing slacken. You were giddy thinking about him being at peace with you, too.

His arms were closed tightly around your body, never letting you go. The movie was really advanced by now, the end was coming soon. It probably was something towards 11AM. Usually, you would have gone knock at your friend's house but there was no need now as you already saw her earlier.

When the movie fatefully ended, the credits start to roll but none of you moved an inch. Ethan rubs his cheeks against your chest before sighing happily. His eyes were closed. Was he asleep ? No, certainly not. He loves horror movie. He wouldn't fall asleep when one is ongoing.

He was cute here. You were delighted to think he trusted you enough to let his guards down and sleep with you. You were his safeplace. And he was yours. Your fingers trail down on his back where you draw small patterns dreamily. You write things, that cross your mind. You simply scratch him. His sudden speaking startle you. Your hand stopping evey movements.

"Are you sleeping far from here, today ? Every movements of his jaw hitting slightly on your chest. 'today' because he knew about your frequent change of home.

Relaxing, you continue to caress his back lovingly.

-No, not really. But I don't sleep there anymore.

The hotel too was starting to worry you. Like the building was shrieking on you. You don't know what was scarier, to be alone or to never be. And now that you found such a warm place, you don't want to leave. Ever.

-Why ?

-Scare me, s'all.

-You can sleep here tonight, if you want.

-Why ? Your decision was already made; you'd sleep here. You knew it the second he offered you to stay the night. But you wanted to see his arguments to convince you.

"Let me be with you." his sentence made a shiver run down your back.

Did that stalker fucked you up so hard you had chill even thinking about them? It was just a damn sentence. Everyone can say it. For god's sake, it's Ethan saying it of all people. Even if he awoke this uneasy feeling back, you couldn't blame him. He didn't know about the sign the criminal had shown you. You didn't tell him that much detail, only saying they had indeed brought creepy signs but omitting what was written on it. And Ethan said it so prettily, too. Yes, of course you'd be with him.

He told you you never slept here before and that you'd be safe anyway since he's here and don't plan on leaving you. So you accepted. It was really early in the day but the both of you were getting sleepy because of the calm and comfort of the situation. He offered you to go to his room which you accepted. After guiding you to there, he tells you he has to go grab something and that he'd be back really quick.

And he did, in fact, came back really quick.

By then, you were already sprawled out on his bed. You had time to see the mess he had scattered everywhere. The carboard, the books, the drawings, some letters, too. And you even found out about his second phone. The lockscreen was a generic one, the one you have by default, as if he just got it recently. But the phone wasn't new, it seems in contrary really old as it was broken at some area.

Ethan arrives in the room with a small plastic blue square packaging, you don't have time to see what it was that he throws it under the bed. You don't pay it too much attention. Playing mindlessly with his other phone in hand, you take off and put back the phone case of it to entertain yourself.

"You got two phones ? you ask even though you kind of knew the answer already.

-Oh, yes. One is for games only, the other is the one I'm really using. Did you went on it ?

-No, don't worry, I won't frisk into your secret criminal life."

He smiles before taking the phone out of your hand. He places it in the drawer of his nightstand. Ethan falls on top of you, taking your breath away for a moment. You laugh and hit his back for him to get away from you and he just laugh heartly before letting himself fall beside you.

He lays down, setting his head on his arm, looking up at you with stars in eyes. Sometimes, he's so pretty it hurt physically to look at him. Starting to get embarrassed by his insistent look, you find something to say.

-Why do you have so much pieces of cardboard anyway ?

-I make placards out of them.

With a fond smile, Ethan stares straight at your eyes. As if waiting for you to say something. You would have ask questions about his 'placards ' if not for the sudden interest he was displaying in you, which, instead, made you change subject without really noticing it. A nervous laugh escaping you.

-Why are you looking at me like that ? Is there an undertone ? Am I supposed to understand something ?"

He shakes his head negatively, displaying a small mischievous smile. He could be such a goblin at times ! Wanting to make him swallow his pride, you lean towards him and kiss his lips. Ethan smiles and moves his lips with yours.

Your arm set down on his waist and soon the kiss get heated. Ethan's body is burning, his breath is too. You don't let each other breath, as soon as you separate from each other, you plunge back in. Physically needing the contact.

You rise on your knee, arching your back to kiss him still laying flat on the bed. Soon, he joins you by rising as well. Both of you on your knees, face to face, eating each other's face. Ethan's hand are mahandling you to sit on his thights. Then, with his surprising strenght, he starts sliding you on them. Your heating pussy rubbing directly on the fabric of his pant. Your hand instinctivly goes to rub the growing tent in his trousers. The area was hot, when you slide your fingers on it, it would budge.

Ethan whimpers, thrusting his hips against yours. You straddle him completly, framing his his body with your legs. You rub his tent against your clit for some frictions. It was aching and growing more desperate by seconds.

"I... I wanna have sex with you." Ethan says softly.

You kiss his cheek, going for his neck. You answer with a meek 'me too' before sucking the skin of his neck. Ethan backs his head, already out of breath. He gives you full access to his body, still rutting desperatly his hips into yours.

But you were growing impatient. You lift your body from him, making him whine at the contact loss, before sliding your fingers behind the elastic of his pants. You slip it down to his knees before you start salivating at the sight of his hard cock already drooling for you.

He didn't have any underwear. That's why you could feel him so close to your core.

Your hand touch his thight, caressing gently his body. Making sure to avoid the area he need you the most. Ethan try to touch himself, tired of your teasing, but you slap his hand away. He whines and looks up at you with teary eyes. Silently begging you to do something. It was impossible for you to resist him.

Your hand grabs his cock in one motion, you could feel it pulse and its warmth propagate in your hand. It was already so so wet because of all his precum, your hand was sliding so easily you could have thought he came multiple times already. Gently, you start to move your hand on all its lenght slowly. The boy props himself on his elbows and look at the scene before him. Ethan sighs happily, eyes closing and head backing. He's in heaven, he thinks. But not entirely, as he looks at you still clothed.

"Want to... Want to finger you..." he pleas.

In front of a boy so desperate, and being incredibly horny, you slide your pant down, making sure your underwear went with it. Ethan lose every one of his braincells when he sees your bare pussy glistening with your love juice. He wanted to lick it bad. That's the only one fanstam he ever had that help him getting off so hard he can't move for a whole minute. He wants to drown himself in your juice. But you have others projects.

You guide his pointer finger to your lips. Ethan starts caressing it and smear your juice everywhere. His lift up another finger and start passing both of them on your lips.

"Here, you have to touch here." you say, pointing to your clit.

You move briefly to bring your genitals closer. You could feel each other's warmth emanating from your core. Seeing him try to touch you was so hot. He was listening to everything you said.

Soon getting the hang of it, he starts circling your clit, applying different pressure on it to see which one were you reacting the most to. Slowly, you quicken your pace on his hard cock. As if to reward him for being such a good boy. He was in a trance, eyes closing and opening. And when they opened, they were staring with a utmost care at your moving breast throught your shirt. Your nipples were hard and were poking through the fabric.

His eyes were glued to it. Understanding his want, you lift your shirt above your collarbone with your free hand. Ethan can't seem to take off his eyes of you. They're probably the first pair of breasts he sees in real life after all.

"Fuck... You're so pretty, love." you speed up on his shaft at his praise. "Fuck, fuck...

-You can touch baby.

-I can?"

He stops all movements to your pussy, your frown but let him discover his needs. It was his first time, you needed to let him have a little fun. His free hand touch one of your breast, massaging it then weighten it in the palm of his hand. He smiles like an idiot, an idiot so cute you let him do what he wants with you. His other, wet, hand pinch lightly your sensitive bud.

Your free hand slap his arm to make him understand he did it too hard. He sends you an apologatic smile.

"They're like stress ball."

Amused by the weird comparison, your chuckle. Still impatient to come, you guide your hand higher on his cock to caress his tip and rub it. His face contorts in pleasure, browns frows and mouth ajar. His forehead fall on your shoulder while his fingers go back down near your entrance. His hips were thrusting into nothing but your hand. Obscene wet noises were resulted. You were hot, terrribly hot but so was he.

Ethan's small puff of breath sends chill in your body. His whimpers couldn't be replaced with anyone else. Your hand was all wet and sticky, as was his. Ethan decides to enter once again two of his digits in you. Your head falls back and you sigh happily at finally scratching that itch in you.

"Curl your fingers, E." you whisper.

He hums and do as told. Curling his fingers in you, he starts to thrust them in and out at a slow pace, adopting the same sensuality you used to jerk him off. You accelerate, your hand no longer lingering on the entire shaft. Sometimes, you'd stop completly to hear him whine. Your thumb caressing his cock's veins.

"Baby please..." he pleas.

Ethan starts kissing sloppily your shoulder, your neck. You, on the other hand, take his hand to guide the thrust of his fingers, angling them correctly for them to touch that spongy spot inside. His fingers were long and thin, that was a part of him you absolutly loved. You always had a thing for pretty hands and his were beautiful.

"What do you want, love? you ask tenderly.

-Tell me you love me..."

You nudge his hair with your nose and he looks up. Staring at his eyes, you see them wet with tears. You kiss him instantly. Playing with his tongue with yours, your hand moving faster and faster. You stop the kiss to tell him you love him and he bites his lips, eyes closing.

His breath is jerky, uneven. You press his palm against your clit, rubbing it while you push his fingers inside you again. You feel a knot tighten. You won't last long.

"Tell me you love me.

-I love you E, you're doing so good.

-Again..."

You said it as many times as he needed to feel better. His hips stuttters, his cock quivers. His words are slurred to each other, resulting in incomprehensible blabbering. You don't lose the rythm, keeping the same pace until he'd eventually come.

-Love you so..." he whines.

His body tense, his breath stops. You can only hear the wet sounds your hand is producing. He doesn't utter a sound until spurts of cum smear on your hand and belly. Feeling at ease, he moans a last time from relief and breath again.

You're not far behind. Ethan being pratically knocked out, you grind on his hand. You close your thighs around it, ensuring it stay inside. Your legs are shaking, wave of hot and cold invade you. You plunge his fingers inside but, to your surprise, Ethan regains control and start pounding into you to get you to your end.

He kisses your neck while you finally come on his fingers, sweaty and disvesheled. You swear one last time when he withdraws his fingers. You stay here for a while, just hugging , breathing and basking in each other's presence.

After some minutes, you decide to go shower together. You end up finally getting a good night of sleep, cuddled in his strong arms.

The next day, Ethan and you had a stupid satisfied smile on your face. Both happy to be here. You kissed and confessed your love to each other all morning until eventually he had to leave for work. Sadly, you had things to do, too. Ethan offered you to stay and sleep here for a few nights because he wanted to stay close to you.

You liked this idea. Of course you liked it, you love Ethan. And to convince you further, he told you his roomate wouldn't mind. So naturally you accepted. You were embarassed at the idea of bothering his roomate but you decided you would just sleep here, and the day, you'd let the apartment free. It was his too, after all. Not only Ethan's. There is no way you'd let someone feel excluded in their own house.

Grabbing your phone, you click on your friend's number. You call her, the ringing echoes three times and no one answer. Somehow begrudgingly, you resume yourself at simply sending a text. Just for you to instantly forgetting your sorrow as she answers. The discussion was quite simple, she was telling you she was at her grandma right now. She was bored and wanted to know how you were doing.

'I'm going back to my dear haunted apartment, probably gonna die. Wish me luck.' you texted. She put a little more time answering this one. It's possible it triggered something in her. After everything she endured. 'nobody will hurt you as long as i'm alive' she said. She simply changed subjects after that. Asking you about the cute guy you told her about in the letters. And so you explained everything. Every time you tried to offer to call her, she'd decline. You were still sad she didn't want to talk to you but you were telling yourself you needed to be patient.

On a happier note, you decided to leave the place to go to your own apartment.

To one point, you should have known better than be too happy about your improving situation. Of course, it was well too soon for you to consider everything better. But you were probably stupid because the fall hit you much harder than you could've prepared yourself for. Oh, the pain you felt when reality had finally caught you. You thought you were going to die when you came back home to simply grab some clothes. (Ethan told you to do so.)

Your door was ajar. But it wasn't your doing. No, of course it wasn't you. Your apartement terrified you, why would you come here more ofthen than needed ? You felt your body freeze but you quickly overcame the feeling. That's it. You needed it to end. This fucking stalker had ruined you. You and your life. You sent a text to Ethan, telling him that if you do not call him after twenty minutes, he needed to call the cops. He didn't answer. He was at work. It was well past eleven by now.

Your heart was beating so hard you thought it was going to collapse on the ground, and you with it. Slowly, aware of every sound around you, you push the door. Your livingroom was as messy as you had left it. At one difference, the wall. Every frame you had put up on the walls were thrown away. Most of them on the ground and broken, with shattered glasses everywhere.

Why would the creep empty the walls ? To write on it. Of course they would write on it. You laugh bitterly for yourself. You couldn't see their stupids fucking signs anymore, so they had to improve. To force you to read their creepy obsessive text. You hear the crushing of a broken piece of glass, as if someone had stepped on it. But it wasn't you.

You're on alert. Every one of your senses on crisis. Was your mind playing tricks on you ? It was possible in this hellish house who did nothing but give you nightmares recently. You don't realize how you stopped breathing. Only calming when three long minutes had gone without another sound to be heard.

Nothing is here. You're alone, you think. Everything is good. You'll just grab your stuff and leave. Regaining your breath, you bring your attention back on the wall. Words were written on it in deep crimson red. Is that blood ? No, it can't be. Probably paint to give a creepy look that'll catch your attention. You approach the wall to better understand the message.

'She's not here anymore'

The need to throw up almost won. A dark feeling in your guts was telling you 'she' was your friend. But you didn't know. She responded to you, after all. You talked to her. So she had to be okay. She had to. You put your hand on your belly to soothe that want to vomit. You take big breath before finally leaving the livingroom. You quickly make your way to your room where you meet your bare bed. Where are your sheets ? What the hell ? But you don't want to stay longer so you throw clothes in your bag in a hurry.

The front door slam shut. And you know it's the end.

You already feel the tears drowning your sight. Trying to stay silent, you hide in your closet almost empty with how many times you came here to grab clothes. Your hand clasp against your mouth to avoid doing any noise.

Slow footsteps can be heard in the empty apartment. With your shaky hands, you fail to unlock your phone. Your vision is blurry, you can't touch the correct keys. The worst is that you can't see where the creep is. If they stay silent, they can enter the room you're in without you even noticing. And this idea is horrifying. But on another side, you'd preferred them to kill you by surprise so you don't have to affront them.

Your cries intensify, in your despair, you drop your phone straight on the ground. The footsteps stops abrutly. Three distincts knocks are echoing on the corridor's wall. They are coming toward you. You're fucked. They're coming ! What do you do ? What did you do ? Why is this happening ?

Kneeling like you could in the closed space, you reach your hand to grab your phone. As soon as your finger grazes it, the phone vibrate and your ringtone start playing for the whole building to hear. No, no, no, no, no ! Ethan. Ethan is calling you. You pick up despite everything but as soon as you do so, the call is cut short. Fuck E, why would you do that !

The criminal's footsteps are louder, quicker, heavier. They're running. They're running here ! You hold the closet door shut with your both hands, praying for your life. You only have knives in your kitchen, but it's too late now. If you go out, they'll see you. You realized at that moment that whatever you were doing, you couldn't win. That you never even stood a chance against them.

Everything was illusion.

Nothing was improving, you knew it, in fact. You were lying to yourself, searching comfort in a man that don't even understand the dept of the problem. Of your problem. And your friend ? You don't want to talk about her. You don't want to open your eyes just yet. You just want to live in your nice little lies you made up for yourself. You're nice with them, in fact, you like them. Nobody wanted to help you anyway. They could have saved you, you and her, but nobody listened.

Now, it's too late.

The closet start to shake. Widening your eyes, you realize that the creep had start to punch it with their bare fist. You don't give a fuck about being heard anymore, you're bailing your eyes out. Begging for them to let you go, screaming, yelling, calling for help. Holding the door for dear life as if it was going to save you, because in your head it was. But the door didn't last long.

A hole is quickly created in the door. You thought you'd see someone's face, wether it be a man, a woman, whatever. But you saw a white plastic mask instead.

Ghostface.

Why was a damn Ghostface chasing after you? Was it all a sick joke from the start ? You swear you were seeing his eyes boring into yours through the mask. You swore you already saw them somewhere. Ghostface tilts their face to the side, as if mocking you. They were telling you that you were stuck, that it was the end. You hoped they'd kill you.

You couldn't live like this anymore.

In the hole of the closet, Ghostface pass his gloved hand. The latter lay on your shaky face, on your cheek to be exact. You feel the fabric against your skin and think of biting his fingers off. No, you'll angry him. If he's going to kill you, that it be in the least painful way.

"Ethan, right ? Does he treat you so well you forgot about me?" his changed voice said. A weird and creepy robotic voice, one you knew you'd never forget.

You were moving your head left to right. You didn't know why. Probably to tell you didn't want to die, probably to avoid looking into his eyes. He laughs, sounding like a rumbling.

"Ending things right now would be such a waste."

No ! You thought you were finally free ! Why would he chases you down for so long without acting on it !? His gloved hand retract and the door slowly open in an acute creaking. The man is finally revealed before you. He was wearing the whole outfit, the big black robe and the hood.

"It was fun. I give you a gift to reward you for these beautiful screams."

And the knife.

He had a knife in hand. And it was tinged red. Something in you told you it was her. Suddenly, the red writings on your wall had a different meaning.

"I hope you like it, I worked extra hard for it."

Out of nowhere, Ghostface takes your hand, force it open, and lay in it something before forcing it closed. He laughs deeply. One of his hand pat your head mockingly before moving up.

"See you later." he said, swinging his knife in a playful manner.

You were absolutely paralyzed. You didn't know what happened. You stayed up without moving for whoever say how long. When your legs finally stopped shaking, you decided to look what the killer had gave you. Slowly opening your hand, your knee buckle and you fall to the ground crying silently at the sight of a nip of your friend's hair.

You curled up on yourself before completly laying down on the ground, tightening the hairs in your hand close to your heart. She was not here anymore. You wanted to fucking die.

Ever since, Ethan was forgotten. He had tried to call you so many times you had blocked his number. You spent the rest of the day crying in your hotel's room. You resented him. So hard. He didn't answer, he was the one calling and giving your position to a fucking criminal, to a murderer! And he didn't answer. He didn't help, like everyone else.

One day later, neighbors complained about a smell coming from an apartment. You didn't cry when they found your friend's dead body. You didn't cry when cops came to interrogate you. The caretaker having told them about you. Your eyes contained so much hatred in them when looking at him the cops had to let him leave to get him away from you. You didn't cry telling the cops how many times you went to see them to ask for help, nor how many times did they reject you. You didn't cry when they told you she was dead for at least a week, and that her boyfriend was missing. You had no tears left in you. It had simply ended you.

All your lies, every single one of them, destroyed. But you needed them. Of course you weren't talking to her by text, you never did. And fuck, you don't even want to know who was answering instead of her. It was so obvious how she never wanted to call, how she was never leaving her house. But the eye you saw at the peephole. The fucking eye...

You don't want to think about it.

Ethan tried to talk to you. He went to your hotel and found you. You didn't bother to move this time as you were done with your life. He fell to his knee and started begging and crying for your forgivness. Did you even love him ? Or were you, are you, just lonely ? Unfortunately, you decided to forgot the anger you had against him when you realized he was the only thing you had. Your only support. The only one knowing you were a victim. You spent the days crying in his arms.

"Shhh, shhh, I'm here, love. It's okay." he reassured you, again.

It was a routine, now. You'd sleep the days away and when you'd wake up, you'd find yourself crying inconsolably. Everything was your fault, you kept repeating in your head. She's fucking dead because of you.

You wanted to end it all but Ethan wanted you alive at every cost. He was brushing your hair, feeding, washing and changing you. You were a lifeless doll. Sometimes, his roomate would come and talk to you. Most of the times, you don't even realize he's talking to you, too lost in your thought to proceed his presence.

"It's okay, everything's okay."

Ethan hugs you firmly. Kissing your hairline. His t-shirt was damped. Your eyes were burning. Every time you closed them, the picture of your friend would come and haunt you, a new nightmare coming. You weren't able to think about something else anymore. But it was your fault. You put her in danger, you got her killed. It was you Ghostface wanted, not her. You got her killed.

"I want to leave..." you whispered in a voice so hoarse, so weak, it didn't sound like yours. His hand goes on the back of your head to pull you towards him.

"No, no my love. It's okay. I'll protect you. You won't be alone anymore." his leg goes over yours and crushes them to prevents you from moving.

Alone.

Have you ever been alone in your life ? No, he was here all along. He was watching you all along. You never were truly alone. He had your adress, your friend's adress, your number and even Ethan's name. No, he's always here. Lurking.

"Just... Stay with me, I'll protect you. Please, don't leave me." he begs.

He looked calm, surprisingly calm being given the situation. But you needed it, in a way. If he doesn't freak out, you don't need to. (you coudn't, even if you wanted to) He probably know what to do. It was too late for you but he could do something. Maybe. His behaviour was slightly comforting. It was dangerous, mostly for him. He probably didn't even know what he was doing, he probably didn't know what he was getting himself into, in fact.

But once, just for once, you wanted to be helped. You wanted someone to listen to your pleas. He was going to die, it was a fact. And yeah, maybe you were selfish, you were condamning him after all.

"I feel like I'm using you. Like I manipulated you. you say, mostly for your own conscience than for his safety.

-Use me, love. I don't care. Manipulate me, whatever. I swore I'd help you. And if I have to risk my life doing it, I'll do it. I love you. You don't know the things I'd do for you.

-Now, you're the one manipulating me...

It was true. He was forcing you to think you had a chance in getting out of this situation when you knew there were none.

-Oh baby, you have no idea how manipulative I can be to obtain what I want.

-If you say so." you whisper, drifting to sleep once again, knowing you'd wake up hours later in the same position, in the same problem and knowing you killed your friend.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

For the second week in a row, Republicans in state legislatures are making the interesting choice of fighting for child marriage. In Missouri, where children 16 or older can marry with parental permission, a bill to prohibit anyone under age 18 from getting a marriage license easily cleared the Republican-controlled Senate 31 to one last month. But now, the bill can’t get out of committee in the state House because seven out of 14 committee members are House Republicans who oppose the bill.

Those opponents include Rep. Hardy Billington (R), who insists without any evidence or logic whatsoever that banning child marriage will lead to a spike in abortions, even as abortion is totally banned in the state. “My opinion is that if someone [wants to] get married at 17, and they’re going to have a baby and they cannot get married, then chances of abortion are extremely high,” he told the Kansas City Star this week. Earlier this week, I also had to write about a different Republican lawmaker in New Hampshire who used the same argument against a bill to ban child marriage. This doesn’t make sense—if someone of any age is pregnant and doesn’t want to be, they’ll probably seek abortion care; this actually has nothing to do with marriage.

Another opponent of the bill, Rep. Dean Van Schoiack (R), told the Star that he opposes the bill because he knows someone who got married as a 17-year-old girl and is still married. “Why is the government getting involved in people’s lives like this?” Van Schoiak said.

Of course, if we’re bringing anecdotes and lived experience into this, I think I trust state Sen. Holly Thompson Rehder (R), who introduced the bill, a little more than Van Schoiack. “As a child that did get married, I would say I have a lot more insight to this issue than what he does,” Rehder said of Van Schoiack. Per the Star, Rehder got married at 15 to a 21-year-old, while her sister at 16 married her 39-year-old drug dealer. “The government does tell people when they can get married because we do have an age limit right now. The fact that [Van Schoiack] feels that it’s OK for a parent to make a decision for a child, that is a lifetime decision, is offensive.”

At this point, I would like to note that Rehder, who is currently running for lieutenant governor, might be right about this one thing, but is wrong about… pretty much everything else. Rehder supports the state’s total abortion ban and campaigned on a pledge to promote “the Trump Agenda” in her district in Southeast Missouri.

Nonetheless, if her bill doesn’t make it to a vote before the end of the legislative session on May 17, Rehder, who’s currently running for lieutenant governor, said she plans to introduce it as an amendment attached to another bill. She told the Star she’s confident that brought to the floor for a vote, the bill would have a majority…but right now, it’s simply being held up by its Republican opponents on committee.

Rehder’s bill comes after Missouri lawmakers in 2018 raised the state’s minimum marriage age to 16 with parental approval following backlash at the time over how many 15-year-olds in the state were being married. Currently, Missouri prohibits marriage between a minor and someone who is 21 or older, similar to the state’s statutory rape laws that prohibit sexual intercourse between someone 21 and older and someone under 17. This is all pretty needlessly confusing, but what isn’t confusing is that this is part of a pattern of Republican lawmakers going to bat for child marriage—from the state representative in New Hampshire who insisted that “ripe” and “fertile” teens should be able to marry, to a different Missouri lawmaker who last year declared that 12-year-olds should be able to get married because he personally knew someone who married at 12 (I mean, I hope they’re doing well today, but somehow, I, err, have my doubts…).

Experts and advocates against child trafficking have long pointed to how laws that permit child marriage put them at greater risk. The bill in Missouri’s legislature is notably part of a bipartisan effort, introduced by Rehder and Democrat Lauren Arthur. But despite Rehder’s best efforts, their bill is being blocked by members of her own party, even as Republican politicians have spent the better part of the last few years escalating their baseless and fearmongering smears of queer people as child sexual predators. As it turns out based on the political affiliations of every lawmaker fighting tooth-and-nail for child marriage (and, consequently, adult predators’ ability to marry children), the call might just be coming from inside the house—the Missouri state House, specifically.

[mysticalsoot]

i prefer life with you, than without

part 2 of 'glances of love'

➸ note; woo!! here's another part!! if you saw this when I accidentally posted it, no you didn't, shush that never happened !! (requests are open for this series btw!) i will be asleep when this posts so I'll add it to the masterlists in the morning :) (lilly please harass me there's no way in hell im remembering)

➸ pairing; cc!wilbur x gn!reader

➸ summary; wilbur gets a bit self conscious about his relationship with reader but you're quick to reassure him !

➸ warning; possible swearing, mentions and vague descriptions of parental fighting and childhood trauma, food mentions (no EDs), implied age gap (do what you will with that), if there's more lmk!

➸ age-rating; 14-15+

➸ wordcount; 2.4k

main masterlist

glances of love masterlist

your relationship with wilbur had balance, plenty of it. it was rare to even get into an argument and sometimes you'd bicker over small things, bound to look at each other and laugh at the stupidity of the moment. your life was finally happy and quiet, he brought you peace with his smile and his touch. his love radiated from him, making sure you're always warm. he wanted to make sure that part of you that held your inner child could heal, he never wanted to see you break. he never wanted to repeat his own childhood.

he noticed early on in the relationship that when a man's voice raised just a bit too much, you'd flinch and freeze. you'd tense when he tried to soothe you by a touch to your shoulder or chin or face, but you relaxed when you realized it was him. you never wanted to be your parents.

they fought a lot in your earlier childhood, arguing over small minute things, your dad refusing to pick up around the house and leaving your mother to do the rest. there were threats, and there were screams. you'd cover your ears and so would your siblings. the tears would build, threatening to spill as the screams of your parents echoed on the walls.

you told Wilbur this after the first few times he caught you flinching at someone yelling, the final time being when he yelled at someone for catcalling you. he pushed this time, while the others he just frowned and let it slide, when you flinched at him, it broke his heart and so he had to know why.

you told him how you'd pray to god your parents would wake up back in love or get a divorce and that it seemed neither prayer was answered. you told him how you were hyper independent as a child, just to avoid irritating your parents more. how his way of caring for you helped heal that wounded child still tucked inside.

and then he told you of similar experiences, how when his parents were fighting the most, he felt torn between them. like he was this weight keeping them held in this marriage they didn't seem to want. then they had his little brother, Tommy, and it seemed to fix it. until his father became too busy for wilbur, but not too busy for Tommy or Tech. but then he was too busy for everyone, and his mom withdrawaled and no longer seemed as interested in his life. so he likes caring for others, it gives him a purpose and if he cares for someone that needs it, he'll have that loving and appreciative attention he desires.

both of you had your shared traumas but you worked through it, he never yelled, you let him care for you (although, you needed that help anyways). it was a fair deal you two had subconsciously made.

the day was quiet, the both of you cleaning up the kitchen together with a front bottoms album playing in the living room. he'd spin you around, making you giggle before you'd both go back to cleaning. he was working on dishes, and then he paused, eyes glancing up ever so slightly as he sucks in a breath.

your heart jumped into your throat when he spoke those words; "baby, we need to talk."

it was sweet, but not sickeningly so. he was gentle with his tone and his words, taking a few steps towards you in the kitchen, tilting his head down to meet your eyes. he was smiling, sweetly at that.

"yes, Wil?" you smile up at him, your hands gripping at his sides as you try to hide the fear in your eyes and voice.

he grabs your face in his hands gently, thumbs rubbing your jawline before he kisses the tip of your nose. he pulls back, eyes sporadically searching yours.

"don't you think I'm too old for you? i mean.. shouldn't you be out, partying and making mistakes instead of staying in and baking cookies with me before settling on the couch to binge a show until we sleep..." he pauses, eyes trailing away before they gaze down on you again. you hold back on speaking, keeping your words on your tongue while you wait for him to finish, "am I taking that experience away from you?"

you shake your head slowly, your hands reaching up to cover his larger ones and you sigh at the feeling of his skin under your fingertips.

"no, not much would be different in my life if we weren't together. besides my life would be sadder and lonelier. at least I can do my old person activities with someone else." you smile, shrugging as you turn your face to kiss his palm, eyes looking up at him through your lashes.

"are you calling me old?" he taunts, smirk curling up and the frown shown before is completely gone.

you turn your gaze away as you shake your head, "noooo.. I mean you are kinda old? you are twenty-six after all."

"oh you little shit-" he smirks, grabbing you by the waist and picking you up. he carries you over to the couch and pins your limbs down, fingers attacking at your sides and belly as you swat at his hands.

"wil- no! it tickles!" you breathe out through loud giggles, squirming in your spot.

"this is for calling me old, baby," he continues tickling until you give him a warning glare, "okay, okay," he chuckles with his hands in the air before he sits back, pulling you into his lap. you settle between his thighs, resting your head on his shoulder as he pets the back of your head. he kisses your temple as he hums.

"I hope you mean what you said," he turns the conversation back to what it was earlier. an exasperated sigh leaving his chest as he chews on his lip, "I don't want to be the one to take those experiences away."

"do I look like I'm one to have a desire for partying?" you scoff playfully, thinking to all the moments where you'd drink with him and his band after a show.

he thinks for a moment and then shakes his head, kissing your cheek and nose and forehead.

"i guess not, you're a bit of a recluse, hm?" he teases, smirk crawling back up on his features. you swat at his chest, gasping in mock offense.

"I am not! i go out all the time!" you scoff and shake your head. he holds your hips a bit tighter, keeping you held in your lap.

"okay, then, when's the last time you went out?" his smirk deepens, eyes glinting with mischief.

it takes you a few minutes to conjure an answer, unsure as you speak, "I went to waterstones like.. two days ago?"

"baby.." he starts, tone a bit stern but still teasing.

"okay, okay fine! maybe I am a bit of a recluse but I like it, I do. i really like staying in and doing my work and waiting for you to come back. it's peaceful and I finally feel safe enough to just live and be alone. it's safe, I like it," you take a deep breath after your rant, looking down at his hands, taking one of them and playing with his fingers mindlessly, "you're safe." it's merely but a whisper, but he hears it and he can't tell if his heart is breaking or healing. your words struck a cord with him and he doesn't know how to swim through sludge in his brain.

"I'm not taking anything away from you?" his voice cracks softly, a small frown on his lips, an expression of worry. he fears being the one holding you back, despite the both of you being in similar stages of life. stable incomes, jobs and lives. you share finances, the apartment, grocery bills. he goes on tour, you stay back and edit two or so videos a week. you're both happy, and you aren't sure why he's so insistent that he's holding you back. if anything, he helps project you forward. he assists you in every which way. he helps you, he encourages you, he loves you.

"not one thing," you smile, holding his hands and shaking them a bit before kissing each of his fingertips. you lean forward, head on his shoulder as you tuck your legs between his. your body nestles between his thighs and he wraps his legs around you in a little nest.

"do you regret this?" he hums, worry still controlling his every thought. he's so anxious, and you can't entirely figure out why.

you sit back, looking up at him as you play with the fluff of hair that hangs over his forehead and you think, letting thoughts and worries be sifted through.

"mm.." thoughts scurry around, glimpses of brief worries, of judgement from friends and family, from fans in particular, "no, I don't. i really never have. why regret something that gives me you?"

"because you regret not doing certain things," he shrugs, taking your hands in his and laughing softly at the size difference. it looks so ridiculous to him, he must look like a giant to you. perhaps he is a giant.

"if I wanted to go out and party, there's nothing stopping me. there's absolutely nothing in my way that keeps me from living life," you smile to yourself, watching as he rubs his thumbs over your hands, bringing them to his lips to kiss.

"you could be dating though, not just stuck with one guy," he whispers, kisses placed on your palms and fingers and wrists.

"I like being stuck with my guy," his eyes finally meet yours and they seem to melt in a way. a small whine escapes his lips as he grabs your body, arms wrapped around your form before he pulls you into a sweet hug.

you giggle and laugh, bringing your lips to his for a sweet, loving embrace. a few moments pass and he pulls away, "I'm yours?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way," you smile, kissing his forehead, just to pull back and meet his eyes. you sigh happily before getting attacked with kisses to your lips.

"mine.." he mumbles between each meeting of your lips, sighing and humming in between kisses and mumbles.

"my baby.." he smiles, pulling back to admire you, his thumb traces your cheek and jaw. it presses into your skin gently, rubbing smooth, soft circles onto your face. jaw, chin, lips, cheek.

you giggle at the kisses, a fluttering, ticklish feeling beneath each one. wilbur smiles at each kiss, placing each one with gentle care, love left behind at every touch of his lips.

"pizza for dinner?" you hum softly, holding his upper arms gently, not quite able to wrap around them fully.

he pulls away gently, smile still on his lips and eyes foggy with some sort of mixed love emotion. he nods, placing a kiss to your throat, "I'll order, yeah? I'll run a bath for you and set out some of my clothes for you to change into," he hums, kisses to your collarbone and shoulder, his hums echoing in your bones.

"a bath?" your words hold part offense and part curiosity.

"I am not saying you need it, I'm saying that I may have splurged yesterday and bought a few new bathbombs for you.." he trails off, kissing your cheek. he's smug with his words, and you swat at his chest.

"Wil, really?" you scoff playfully, rolling your eyes with a warm smile.

"what? they smelled good!" he counters, leaning back to look down at you with a small pout.

"they're lavender scented, aren't they?"

he hums, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as he shrugs, "maybe, but it's your favorite,"

you nod, laughing softly as you slip out of wilbur's lap. he holds your wrist gently, thumb rubbing the skin there for a few seconds before smiling and letting go.

he draws your bath as you both chat about random things, kissing you before leaving you to enjoy the warm bath with bathbombs and smelly soaps and bubbles.

you don't spend too long in your bath, maybe 20 minutes before you're draining it and drying off, changing into a pair of wilbur's boxers and one of his shirts. you hum as you walk out of the bathroom and through the bedroom. a few strides and you're behind him in the kitchen, wrapping your arms around his waist. you kiss on his back for a few moments, humming to yourself.

"thank you, love," you whisper as he places his hands on yours, you scratch at his stomach gently with your fingertips.

"you're welcome, honey. pizza will be here in a few, okay? why don't you go over and rest on the couch, I'll be in there in a minute," he turns in your grasp, leaning down and grabbing your face, a kiss to your forehead that lingers as he hums against your skin. he pulls back and smiles at you, a kiss to your nose and you turn around to the living room.

you hurry to the couch, hopping on it and curling up with pillows and blankets as you set up some random movie on Netflix.

wilbur comes in a few minutes later, a box of pizza and a couple plates in hand. he dishes a piece out for you both, cuddling up next to you under the blanket and watching the movie along with you. it's nice, the quiet. you don't always need words with wilbur, sometimes the silence is plenty for you both, how calming and serene it is to not have to say anything.

it goes like this for a few hours, until you're both falling asleep, wrapped up together and dozing off with half lidded eyes.

"I love you, you know that?" you hum, looking into wilbur's eyes as best you can, trying desperately to fight sleep.

"I do, I just worry," he sighs, kissing your forehead with a sleepy smile.

"then don't worry," you kiss his nose, rubbing his cheeks with your thumbs.

he smiles and kisses you once, a quick peck that says a million more words than spoken and he tucks his head in your shoulder. his breathing steadies out, followed by gentle snores before you're lulled to sleep with him.

you much prefer life with him than without and you hope he feels the same.

taglist; @lcvejoy @lillylvjy @ella-fella-bo-bella @lotusanonymouse @ughtreyparker @whos-nicooo @zebonos

© 2023 mysticalsoot

[lavendermoonlitskies]

The nature of Aziraphale & Crowley’s relationship (Good Omens)

So I know I have like 30 followers and probably no one gives a shit what I think, but the internet’s the internet and it’s free to post on Tumblr so who cares

I have gone back & forth a bunch on what I think of the “discourse” (if we can even call it that?) surrounding Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship in Good Omens, and I think I’ve settled on something.

I am still very much for the “why does this criticism only seem to come up when the pairing in question is of the same sex (or played by actors of the same sex)” argument against the whole “why can’t they just be friends” criticism that comes up in response to a lot of queer media, however, I can see why it doesn’t necessarily apply here. At least not in the same way.

In the book, and subsequently in season 1, their relationship is entirely up to interpretation. The information we are given at that point about their past can absolutely either be seen as platonic OR the grounds for something more. I don’t think it’s wrong to say you think it’s one way or another. With the way that their relationship works at this point in the story, they have a lovely friendship and if that’s the point where the progression of their relationship ends, that’s all well & good.

However

Moving on to season 2, we get a little more. There are people saying that the romantic element that has been added kind of ruined it, and I would like to respectfully disagree with that. First of all, the surviving author of the original novel is directly involved with the writing, so I have to say I find it kind of hard to say that anything has been ruined when it’s still directly from the mind of one of the people who wrote it. He is writing it with what the two of them had planned originally in mind. (I believe he said at some point that season 2 is a sort of stepping-stone between the original book and the sequel that he and Terry had in mind)

Second of all, the romance didn’t exactly come out of left-field. As I said earlier, you can interpret their relationship in season 1 however you like, but the notion that their relationship may actually be more than just a friendship is an interpretation that was clearly explored in the second season. Neil Gaiman is not one to shy away from queer storytelling, so if that is the direction he wants to take it, that’s where it’s gonna go. It’s 2023, LGBTQ+ representation in media is far less taboo than it used to be, and so he has virtually no reason to filter their relationship into something that he doesn’t actually want it to be as the writer.

If you want my personal opinion, I think that season 2 being “quiet, gentle, and romantic” is foreshadowing for their relationship’s progression season 3, so I can definitely see the romantic undertones that have more or less been there the whole time (of course depending on how you interpret it) being brought out into the limelight. (I know he said that season 3 will most definitely not be those 3 things, but that’s not to say that none of those elements will be showing up at all)

All in all I don’t think it’s wrong or “homophobic” to interpret their relationship however you see it, but in terms of my own theories, I think that if the fact that the (once again quiet, gentle, and romantic) season 2 is a “stepping-stone” between seasons 1 and 3 is true, their friendship is evolving into something more.

[gatheringbones]

[“Many victims may not even see political coercion from their partners as an abusive act. In our conversation, Tawni Maisonneuve, the survivor and advocate I referenced earlier, attributed this in part to the reality that we still “have a hard time believing emotional and mental abuse occurs,” let alone recognizing political control over a partner as abusive. But Maisonneuve experienced abuse in this form firsthand, from multiple abusive partners obstructing her access to political information, and at different points, even controlling her voting. She finally began to understand her partners’ political coercion of her as abuse when, in 2013, she joined a program that she called “intense victim recovery therapy.”

“In that group, our instructor brought up that sort of behavior. I never really thought of it before as if it was some kind of control,” Maisonneuve said of her former abuser’s control over her politics. She added that she doesn’t think a lot of people talk about “politics in domestic abuse” because “they think, ‘oh, yeah, it’s an argument anyway’ or ‘yeah, people don’t usually see eye-to-eye” and dismiss the potential of these “disagreements” to yield violent outcomes and disenfranchisement.

Yet in many ways, Maisonneuve believes controlling a partner’s vote is one of the most powerful forms of abuse. “When you look at that, if I can control the way you vote even in your community and everything else, I know I really have control of you at home. That’s what we dove into in my victim recovery class,” she said.

Maisonneuve recounted how her “first marriage was the hardest one when it came to voting.” Prior to her abusive marriage, she had worked as a manager in a state senator’s office and had deep roots in community activism and political engagement. “It turned into a situation where I didn’t even register to vote anymore,” Maisonneuve said. Again, her divorce was finalized in 1994, but she says she “didn’t even vote after that for the simple fact that I didn’t want to run into [her ex-husband] at any polls” or “deal with any of those dynamics.” In her next relationship, Maisonneuve’s partner accompanied her to polling places and voted on her behalf. “I felt if I didn’t vote the way he did, or I didn’t agree with those political views, it would really be a physical issue,” she said. “So whenever I would go vote with him, I would need to get things approved before I submitted them. And he would tell the people, ‘Oh, she’s slow, I gotta walk her through it.’ It was those kinds of humiliating things that I dealt with when I went to go vote, when I was in bad relationships.”

This might seem like a lot of effort from her ex-partner, all for one vote that’s hardly likely to sway an election. But according to Maisonneuve, this extent of calculation and control by an abuser isn’t at all out of the ordinary. For an abuser, acts of political coercion including controlling a partner’s vote aren’t necessarily about impacting an election or achieving specific political outcomes, but making their victim feel powerless, denying them agency in the home and in society at large. “It’s about complete power and control,” she said, “where there’s no room for disagreement, no room for your own opinions or even your own thoughts.” Maisonneuve said she also thinks political control within abusive relationships is rarely discussed because of the broad cultural misunderstanding that it’s easy for victims to get the resources they need to leave and be autonomous after an abusive relationship. “But we don’t even really have victim recovery services, we have battery intervention programs, sure—but unless a victim really, really seeks out some mental health help, it’s not even really offered to us,” she said. “We’re given protection orders, or people think you’re at a shelter so everything’s fine. But victim recovery services are far in between, just like shelters.”]

kylie cheung, from survivor injustice: state-sanctioned abuse, domestic violence, and the fight for bodily autonomy, 2023

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 22 ~ Scars

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 2

✧ Word Count : 5.4k

⚠️ TW : Mentions of attempted suicide & SH scars

In this chapter ~ When Rick and Shane decide to take Randall away from their people to drop him and fend for himself, things seem to go wrong on the other end. Beth becomes suicidal after witnessing the death of her mother just days prior, leading Rose to comfort her in a time of need. However, the heaviness that followed was a lot more than she anticipated, though luckily for her, Daryl helps her pick up the pieces.

It had been about two days since they brought Randall back, and he eventually woke from his unconscious state. Since then the place had been chaotic.

The group was constantly going around and around in circles about what to do with this guy, so much so it gave me a pounding headache. Because most of the time the arguments wouldn't go anywhere. People would just repeat the same things that had already been said, causing us to feel stuck in the same place as no one really had a solution.

Until Rick just made the final decision to do what he wanted to since the beginning, take the man far away from the farm and drop him off on his own.

So now that the man was finally able to walk and balance decently on his own, Rick and Shane took a car to drive him out in the middle of nowhere, leaving the rest of us nervously waiting for their return. Everyone eventually seemed to agree with the plan despite the possibilities of him coming back, but it's not like we had much of a choice.

I for one was trying to keep myself busy all day, helping Lori with some laundry, staying to keep watch on top of the RV, I even made a run into town earlier that morning with Glenn. We had found a few different stores in a small part of town that had some useful things in them. But there was a little something else I found that I was extra excited about besides the food and supplies.

When we walked into the last store, I saw it. The perfect thing to give to Daryl. I had never gotten him something in return when he gave me my sketchbook and watercolors, but now I had something that I thought would suit him quite nicely. It was a black leather vest with stitched angel wings on the back.

In my mind, I hoped he would really like it and I had planned to give it to him later that night. Once we all knew Randall was taken care of.

Currently I was washing dishes with Maggie, occasionally talking about random things, trying to get our minds off of what was happening today. I could easily tell she hadn't stopped thinking about it since it happened either, the anxious feeling of the man somehow making his way back to her own home couldn't have been easy to deal with. But I had hope that everything would work out just fine and things would begin to move smoothly again.

She wordlessly handed me the last plate that was in the sink, water dripping off of the edges as I took the towel in my hands to dry it. She leaned her back up against the counter as she stared down at her shoes, the sound of me stacking the final plate in the cabinet brining her out of her thoughts as she glanced back up to me nervously.

"Can I talk to you about something... more serious?" she asked.

I only nodded my head as I listened, throwing the towel back down on the counter to give her my full attention as I copied her stance.

"Well, Glenn's been avoiding me lately, and he told me that when he was out there trying to fight those guys, he froze at one point. He was saying that since I told him I loved him... that's the reason he froze, and my dad had to save his life. He said he was afraid to die... thinking about how it would affect me." she finished almost a little shamefully.

My eyes widened a bit as I was a little thrown off and not expecting that, but I was still quick to respond and reassure her. "Listen, I know that it might not feel too great that he's avoiding you, but the truth is he loves you too. I don't think he should be avoiding you, I think he should be cherishing these moments he has with you, but y'know he's a guy." I pointed out, giving her a look she would be able to read.

She laughed quietly to herself as she nodded her head in silent understanding, "But he'll come around, I promise. You just gotta give him a little time." I finished.

She pressed her lips together and nodded gratefully, "Thank you." she said, "I feel like I can really talk to you ya know? I'm glad you're here."

I smiled, "Yeah, me too." I spoke, opening my mouth again before closing it back up quickly. My dumbass almost slipped up and said something about how I was glad that I stayed, but I bit my tongue before it could come out.

My eyes then absentmindedly panned over towards the tray of food that Maggie had set off to the side a few minutes ago, "Is this for Beth?" I asked, quickly changing the subject.

She followed my gaze and nodded, "Oh yeah, I was about to bring that up to her when we were done."

"Oh I got it, I was going to check on her soon anyways." I said, moving towards the counter.

She smiled gratefully, "Thank you. You know Beth really likes you. Ever since you taught her how to play those few songs on the guitar it's really all she can really talk about. I think seeing you would cheer her up."

"Yeah, I had fun teaching her, I'm sure she'll be ready to learn some more in no time." I reassured her.

Maggie nodded her head and I fully picked up the tray in my hands, walking out of the kitchen to head upstairs and into Beth's room. It seemed quieter than usual as I made my way up the familiar stairs, something seeming a little off. But I mostly blamed it on Rick and Shane's absence, still not here even after leaving early this morning.

For some reason the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth, sensing something might go wrong out there, not necessarily with Randall. But with each other.

After what happened with the barn and the whole fight that came after that, the two had been at each other's throats ever since. It was way far off from how they used to act around each other, seeming more like brothers than friends. But something just clicked and now they almost acted like strangers. Though it was none of my business, I still noticed.

Pushing my thoughts aside, I made it up the long staircase and lingered by the closed door, knocking softly a few times before I entered. To my surprise, I heard her soft voice from the other side invite me in, causing me to open the door as best as I could with the tray still balanced in my hands.

"Hey hon, it's just me." I announced as I walked in, "I brought you something to eat, and to see how you were doing."

Her gaze panned over towards me, and my breath hitched slightly in the back of my throat. I knew that familiar look all too well. I tried to not let it affect me too much in case I was wrong, but I had a feeling I wasn't. She looked utterly broken and depressed, much more pale with bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She had just lost her mom, I came to find out that she was the walker Beth ran to after everything happened. I'm pretty sure I couldn't have felt worse for her after finding that out, now more than ever seeing her like this.

"You can just set it down here." she said, pointing over towards the side table next to her bed.

I did what she asked and stood there for a moment as she stared at the sandwich on the plate, "Do you want me to stay, or do you want some space."

"Some space. If that's okay?" she asked.

"Yeah of course," I said immediately, "Just...call if you need anything." I finished with a smile.

She barely gave me a noticeable nod before I turned on my heel to give her some time alone, but I couldn't just brush off the vibe I picked up. It again could be nothing, just being paranoid over something I was reading too much into. But in case I was right, I didn't just want to keep it to myself.

I ventured back down the stairs, peeking in the kitchen again to see if Maggie was around, but the room was empty by the time I got back. A sigh left my lips as I turned back around to try and find her, but I managed to spot Lori entering the house right as I was about to come down the hall.

"Oh hey, Lori?" I called out as I approached her.

She turned towards me with a small smile, hanging up her jacket, "Hey, what's up?" she asked.

My eyes glanced back up the stairs momentarily before turning back to her, slightly lowering my voice, "I just...I'm worried about Beth. She just seems a little off and I was going to find Maggie to let her know but-"

"I can tell her." she offered with a nod, "I'll keep an eye on her until she comes back."

"Yeah that would be great." I spoke gratefully, "She's just up in her room and wanted to be left alone... but I don't know I think Maggie should know."

"Absolutely." she agreed instantly, "I'll tell her the next time I see her, okay?"

I nodded, "Thanks." I said with a small smile, passing her as I moved to exit the house.

I felt a little bad not telling Maggie about it myself, but knowing someone else would keep an eye out for Beth gave me a little piece of mind. I didn't want to hover over her or pick up any overprotective instincts even though in the back of my mind I knew it was inevitable. I just wanted her to be okay.

The rest of the day passed by slowly, leaving nothing much to do around camp and everyone simply doing their own thing for the day. After not being able to find Maggie, looping around the farm a couple of times, I assumed she was back in the house at this point. So I took the much needed time to myself.

A few hours passed by with me just laying down in the yellow tent trying to relax as best as I could. Spending most of the time reading the book Daryl had stolen from me when he got hurt and it actually turned out to be pretty good, only drawing me more in with each chapter. The details were amazing and I loved the plot. I didn't plan on giving this back to him anytime soon.

I hadn't seen him for most of the day because he decided to go out hunting fairly early in the morning, leaving camp before the sun even rose. He offered for me to come with him, but I declined as I needed to go out on that run with Glenn to get some things for myself, and he understood. I just hoped he would be back soon along with Rick and Shane who continued to be gone for far too long.

Damn it was like everyone was missing today.

After closing in on the last chapter, I finally shut the book after what felt like forever, blinking my eyes a few times to adjust them. For hours I had been reading tiny words on these pages and I felt that it was time for a break. So, I placed the book back in my bag, standing to leave the tent and walked outside a little to stretch my legs, leaning from side to side as I was hunched over for many hours.

I glanced around the small camp to see who was around, before my eyes suddenly stopped on Carl sitting by the RV. He seemed distant as he glanced at the comic book sitting in his lap, barely reading over the pages as he sloppily flipped through them. A pain in my chest suddenly dispersed upon seeing him like this, knowing that he hadn't been the same since he witnessed Sophia coming out of that barn. But who could blame him?

He was grieving in his own way, separating himself from the others as much as he could for just some time alone to think. I hadn't had a proper conversation with him since that day everything went wrong, keeping my distance as that's what he seemed to wish for. But I shook my head as I began to walk over towards him, wanting to talk to him for the first time in what felt like too long.

"Hey kid." I greeted him.

He glanced up and gave me a slight smile, "Hey." he spoke as he closed the book to give me his attention.

I moved to take a seat next to him on the ground, "So, what're you reading? Tell me about it." I said.

His eyes lit up "Really?"

I chuckled a little, "Yeah, why not. Who's this?" I asked, pointing to some sort of superhero.

His excited demeanor never faltered as he went on to tell me everything that was happening in this comic book. Who all of the characters were, what their powers were, and what their mission was. This was one of the first times I had seen him get excited about something in what felt like forever, and it warmed my heart at just the sight. He began to slowly open up a little bit more the longer we talked, changing the subject a few times to talk about his favorite cartoons he used to watch before the outbreak.

I enjoyed watching him smile, it felt like it had been some time since it last happened, and I was just glad to distract him even if it was only for a few minutes. A kid his age should never have to go through half the shit that's he's been through, though he was tougher than I ever could've imagined.

After we finished talking for a while, I left him to read it in peace after that. I wanted him to have his space too, and I never wanted to overstep any boundaries, especially when it came time to grieve someone.

I found myself heading back into the house to grab something to eat afterwards, but as soon as I walked in, I jumped a little as I suddenly heard screaming from just up the stairs. I didn't hesitate for a second before I was rushing up the steps two at a time, jogging into Beth's room to see Maggie and Lori were yelling and banging on the bathroom door.

"Woah, woah, what's happening?" I asked.

Maggie's head whipped around to face me, "Beth...Beth tried to kill herself and now locked herself in the bathroom, I heard glass." she spoke quickly, continuing to pound on the door, pleading with Beth to listen.

Panic flooded through me. She tried to kill herself? And was now attempting again? I stood in the doorway frozen in shock as I felt as though I couldn't move a thing. But then my eyes quickly darted around the room, looking for something to get the door open. Lori had moved to search the room for the key, frantically looking through her drawers as fast as she could, but I spotted a metal rod sitting in the corner of the room. I didn't think twice about it as I stepped forward, picking it up in my hands before telling Maggie to move out of the way quickly and she jumped back.

Sticking the thing in between the lock and the wood, I pushed on it as hard as I could in an attempt to pry it open. There was a sudden crack after a few seconds before the wooden door suddenly flew open, revealing Beth standing there with her hand over her wrist, blood pouring out of it. Her head whipped over to us frantically as soon as she heard the door breaking, tears streaming down her face and her heart no doubt racing out of her chest.

"I'm sorry." she sobbed, and Maggie didn't waste anymore time as she went in to pull her close.

I ditched the metal rod in my hands, stepping inside the bathroom only to realize how severe the cut actually was. Blood was now running down her arm and onto the tile floor, the amount of pressure she was putting on it clearly wasn't enough. I quickly placed my hand on Maggie's shoulder to get her attention, gently pulling Beth out of her hold.

"Go get your dad, he's going to need to stitch this up." I said, trying to hide the panic in my tone.

But she caught it even though it was disguised, quickly nodding her head as she left right along with Lori to try and find Hershel as fast as possible. Beth looked up at me and opened her mouth to speak, but only a sob came out as she ducked her head, causing me to immediately shush her and bring her into a hug.

We all had different experiences with mental health, everything was dealt with differently, but I somewhat knew how she was feeling. I had been in her position not that long ago and seeing her standing there when I first opened the door, brought all the memories back, so fast it was like a tidal wave. The whole situation nearly knocked me off my goddamn feet.

After standing in place for a while as she sobbed into my arms, I slowly started to bring her back into her attached bedroom, sitting her down on the bed so she could try to relax and focus on her breathing as she put more pressure on the wound.

Hershel frantically came in soon after that with a needle and thread and started to stitch his daughter up as she cried. I stayed by her side the whole time, holding her hand to offer her some type of comfort I was able to give. Though it was heartbreaking hearing her cry, and even more heartbreaking seeing Hershel try to pull himself together as he worked. I tried to think over the right things to say to her when the time came, but I felt that there was no right thing to say. What could you say after something like this?

After Hershel was done he said he would talk to her later and soon left the room in a hurry to no doubt let a few tears fall, leaving Beth and I alone again. She slowly laid down on the mattress after he left, her cheeks still stained with tears as she tried to calm herself down, with me rubbing her back towards the end of the bed. The silence slowly becoming deafening.

"Are you mad at me too?" she suddenly asked. I could feel the pain in her voice.

I whipped my head to look at her, "Oh my God honey no, I'm not mad at all. And neither is Maggie or your dad, they just love you so much. Seeing you like this... it hurts them, you know?"

She sighed as she shook her head, "I just feel so alone in this, like they don't even understand. Nobody does." she muttered.

"You're not alone." I said with a shake of my head, "I can promise you that."

"How do you know?" she was quick to ask.

My breath caught in my throat as I thought back to my own experiences, so different, yet so similar to hers. I debated in my head for a long time in the dead silence, letting the seconds turn into minutes if I really wanted to do this. I had never dared to show anyone the things I kept only to myself, ashamed of what others might think if they caught a glimpse of them. It made me feel vulnerable, weak, and that was something that I hated, but I needed to show her that someone here understood what she was going through.

So with a heavy breath, I hesitantly lifted my shirt sleeves to reveal my deeper scars on my wrists, trying to ignore the twist in my stomach as the cold air hit my arms. Her eyes followed my movements, immediately seeing them and I watched her eyes get wider with each passing second.

"I know." I assured after the agonizing silence.

She shook her head in disbelief, "You-"

"Yeah." I interrupted her, almost like I didn't want to hear her say it.

"It was uh... at a really hard time in my life. I won't bore you with the details but someone in my life was making me feel worthless. He told me that so much I started to believe it myself, and I got really depressed. Eventually I thought that... doing this was my only option so I... tried. But I regretted it as soon as I saw the blood, kind of like you did. So I called for help and I... saved my own life that night."

She stared at me so intently, listening carefully to every word that came out of my mouth. I knew I could trust her to not say anything to anyone, just as she knew I wouldn't judge her for trying to do what she did. It was like a silent agreement that we had at that moment.

"Look, my point is I don't know exactly how you feel and I never will. But we were in the same boat you and me, we're fighters and I know you'll make it through this. You just proved that today when you stopped yourself." I said.

Her eyes refilled with tears as she looked at me with utter sadness, "I didn't realize...I'm so sorry Rose."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, not wanting her to see me cry as I smiled sadly, "I'm sorry too." I whispered before bringing her into a hug.

She clung onto me tightly as the new fresh tears fell down her face, sobs erupting from her lungs. All the emotions mixed with the exhaustion was truly taking a toll on her body, but I was prepared to hold her for as long as she needed. Just like I wished someone had held me.

Once her cries quieted down after a few minutes, I spoke quietly to her, "I am always going to be here for you, okay? You're never alone in this. Never." I assured as I held her tighter.

"Okay." she whispered, hiccups building in the back of her throat.

Although I couldn't see her face as she spoke, I knew now that she believed me, and knew that I wasn't going anywhere. Hell, I would be at her beck and call always if that meant saving her life. I somehow knew then that everything would be okay, maybe not at first but it would be. Beth was strong and I could see that so clearly, even if she couldn't see it yet herself, she was going to be okay.

After I knew for sure she was okay for the night, her assuring me multiple times, I said my goodbyes and walked out to send Hershel back in the room to talk to her. Nothing could've probably prepared him for the things that man had to do today, but I just couldn't get over the look on his face. It was like he had seen a ghost when he first burst into the room, and it was devastating.

After I walked out of her bedroom, I found him just sitting a few feet away outside, telling him he was good to head in, but before I could walk away he caught my arm to stop me.

"Thank you for...comforting her at a time like this. I just... I don't know what to say to her once I go in there. But just know I appreciate you Rose, thank you so much." he said with visible tears in his eyes.

I took his hand off my arm, squeezing it tightly, "Just be there for her, okay? Let her do the talking first. And it's no problem, I care about all of you so much."

He nodded and then suddenly did something I didn't expect, he hugged me. I sighed to myself before I was soon hugging him back for a few moments before letting him go after a few short seconds so he could talk to Beth. After watching him go, shutting the door behind him to leave only a crack, I made a beeline down the stairs and out of the house. I practically jogged all the way back to the tent, tears threatening to fall from my eyes as I desperately tried to keep myself together. But the moment I zipped up the entrance, finding myself completely alone, I let it all out.

Seeing Beth like that was too much for me, but I wouldn't dare let her know that. She needed me and I was going to be there for her, however it just brought back painful memories from my past that I so desperately tried to avoid. I just sat there and cried quietly as I hugged my arms around my middle from the slight chill in the night. Rethinking everything that had happened today, I couldn't help but wonder how it could've been different if I had just stayed inside that damn house. How I could've prevented something from happening if I had tracked down Maggie myself. Maybe things could've been different.

But suddenly the zipper of the tent was being opened quickly, and Daryl was making his way inside as he finally returned from his hunt. I quickly looked away from him while frantically wiping my eyes, knowing he hadn't heard me crying, not even noticing I was in here at all at first from how silent I had been.

"Oh, hey." he greeted once his eyes raised from his boots, "I was bout to look for-" he then stopped himself noticing immediately the state that I was in, "Rose? Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, coming to kneel in front of me.

I tried to pull myself together, "Nothing, I'm okay." I said as I looked to the side, basically anywhere but his face.

I couldn't look at him, I just knew I would break down if I did. I could already feel the new tears building up in my eyes as I felt him gently take my hand in his and rub the back of it lightly with his thumb.

"Talk to me." he said in a soft voice.

I didn't say anything. I didn't even know where to start, today had just been painfully long and all I wanted was to go to sleep so it would be finally over. It seemed like we couldn't catch a break. And as if it couldn't get any worse, I saw out of the corner of my eye Daryl's eyes were staring down at my wrist as he still held my hand in his. I froze with widened eyes and suddenly didn't know what to do, I couldn't move.

"Rose." he said softly while looking at the scar, moving to take my opposite hand to see the other. But I quickly pulled both hands away from his grasp so he couldn't get a better look.

"Damn it." I cursed silently as I pulled my sleeves back down harshly, wiping my eyes with them as I tried desperately not to look him in the eye. I didn't know what I wanted, for him to leave or stay, when all I could feel now was just utter embarrassment.

He made no sudden movements for what felt like years, until I felt his finger and thumb gripping my chin gently to lift my head to look at him. His thumb rubbed softly on my chin as I finally brought myself to look into his blue eyes.

"Talk to me." he repeated.

That's when the sudden floodgate broke loose, my tears only falling more freely than they did before. I couldn't stop them, there was just so many emotions I was feeling about everything, and I couldn't get all of it out before he came back, so now he was witnessing it firsthand. I felt mortified about crying so much lately, it seemed like all I was able to do, like it was all I was good for these days.

His hands then moved to my cheeks when it began to be too much, his thumbs gently wiping my fresh tears away. He leaned in close to place a soft kiss on my forehead, waiting patiently for me to start talking whenever I was ready. And I did.

I told him what happened with Beth and how she tried to end her life. I ranted about how I should've been there sooner and not just sitting in the tent all damn day, but I didn't know. I should've known, the feeling I had alone was a good enough reason to stay close, but I truly didn't know. Regrettably I also when on to explain my situation as well, seeing as I couldn't really avoid it because of what he barely saw through the darkness.

I told him almost every bit of the conversation I had with her, though it made me the most uncomfortable, I didn't want her to believe she was alone in this. Informing him also that seeing her like that brought back too many memories for me and that's why I had been crying in the first place...and then we sat there. There was just silence. He didn't try to talk one time. He just listened.

After seeing that I was done, not having anything else to say, he finally broke the silence, "Yer one of the greatest people to walk on this earth, ya know that?" he asked.

I was slightly taken aback at what he said, a scoff leaving my lips as I shook my head, "Believe me I'm far from that." I responded, no longer looking at him.

"Look at me." he said softly.

I slowly tore my eyes away from my hands and met his again, almost burning under his gaze. I almost couldn't believe how much I was cowering away from someone I truly trusted, but then again this conversation was one that I didn't want to be having with anyone.

"What ya did for Beth, bein there for her, that's the best thing you can do for her. And showin her she isn't alone through all this, it's amazin what ya did for her today...now about you..." he trailed off, looking back down at my hands sitting in my lap.

He then gently grabbed both of them and slowly rolled both of my sleeves all the way up to the middle of my arm. I tensed when he did this and he noticed, but yet he didn't stop. He raised my left wrist up to his lips, and began to leave soft kisses over every inch of the scar. Then moved to my right wrist and did the same exact thing, leaving goosebumps on my skin, but a warmth in my heart.

He held both of my hands tightly once he was done, looking back up at me as he spoke again, "Yer so strong, and ya never have to be ashamed of these. They're just marks on yer body to show that ya made it, even when things were really hard. I get yer ashamed of showin em, but you don't have to be. Not with me." he finished.

I stared at the man in front of me in awe. Nobody had ever spoken so beautifully about me like this before. Nobody had ever complimented the thing that I was the most insecure about. No one had ever kissed the places I had once hurt so badly. Nobody except him.

Tears built up back in my eyes, but this time for a completely different reason. I was quick to take my hands out of his, wrapping my arms around his shoulders to bring him into a hug as I felt I could finally breathe.

I heard what sounded like a sigh of relief come from him as he quickly wrapped his arms around me as well. Maybe he was worried about what he had said upset me, but it did quite the opposite. It made me relieved. Relieved that someone cared enough for me to not only see the good side of me but also the bad.

But with the way he spoke, and the way he was hugging me back so tightly, it almost made me question if he knew the feeling as well. The feeling of being ashamed or insecure because of something marking you from your past. And maybe he did. But I wasn't going to ask. I would wait until he felt comfortable enough to tell me, like he did for me just moments ago.

~ Thanks for reading!

[some-pers0n]

Hey guys I was gonna reblog to @avianreptiles's cool reblog thread of your current art WIPs (which you totally should do)(sharing art is cool) andddd I wanted to share something myself. But I didn't write it yet. I then got carried away with writing it. Here ya go.

It's a scene from my Albatross fic that I've been trying to figure out how to do for a while. It's framed as a oneshot for now, but yeah it'll be integrated later on. It features a dead wife and sad aromantic Albatross.

Reblogs are always appreciated!! I adore seeing the notes people leave behind. They make me giggle and kick my feet. I love you guys <33

Albatross never got the point of funerals. Others tried telling him that they were worth his time. "It's a celebration of life!" they would say. They'd frame it as a commendable event. That he should be happy that somebody is dead.

He couldn't imagine a place he wouldn't rather be than here, standing before her grave.

Marlin, his wife, had passed away a few days ago. Albatross was the one to find her. He will never forget the utter horror that was seeing her lying on the floor, bleeding out with a single cut on her neck. She was long gone by the time he got there. He tried everything he could, even desperately begging for his magic to somehow bring her back, but to no avail. She was lost.

It had been a blur from then and up until the funeral. A dazed state of vague emptiness. A fog of numbness. He hadn't cried since discovering her body, something he felt guilty for. Manta and Eel, their very own dragonets, had been bawling nonstop. Even Lagoon was weeping earlier. Surprising that she had emotions.

No, he shouldn't say that. Being petty gets him nowhere. She was so distraught over Marlin's death. Even if he found the ceremony obnoxiously long and overdramatic, especially when she got upset at him refusing to speak, he should be grateful he set this whole thing up. 

Marlin deserved a nice send-off. She deserved a lot better than what she got in life, so she deserved just as much in death.

The grave was in the center of one of the Island Palace's gardens. It was where they got married and was always her favourite spot. Echoes of memories flowed through him. The feeling of warmth watching her tend to the bushes and flowers. The sweetness of seeing Manta take up an interest in her mother's craft. She loved this area.

Now she's memorialized with a grave. A marble statue erected where her body was buried, complete with aquamarines for her eyes.

The sky was overcast and grey. The wind wasn't cold, but humid enough to be slightly uncomfortable. It was as though he was standing in a world where the life was drained from it. Any joy or hope that could've been had decayed.

It was late into the evening. Everyone had already gone up and left. Manta and Eel were put to bed an hour ago. The only one awake in this palace was Albatross himself. He didn't feel too happy with the service. Many mourned the loss of Marlin, but more than anything, Albatross wanted to spend it alone.

"I'm sorry," he said. He didn't know why he said it, but it felt better to hear his voice. "I'm sorry for, well, everything." He glanced at the bushes around them. Some were trampled and stomped on, disturbed by the guests. "I wanted a private event. I wanted it to be just me, the dragonets, and you. I didn't want it to be this whole thing. But, you know, Lagoon insisted." He scoffed.

The statue did not respond. He wasn't expecting it to, but the apathetic silence was deafening.

"A lot of things between us shouldn't have been as public as they were. Lagoon." A faint smile cracked across his snout. "You always said I should've been more assertive. Not let her push me around. And you're right. I really, really should have." 

His expression faded away. "You wouldn't have liked it being like this. I'm sorry about that. I should have been firm with her, but she just kept pushing about it and..." He winced. "She brought up her again. Used her as an argument against me, again. Then, she brought you up. She never said it, but I knew what she meant. She thinks I could've saved you. If I had been there, I could've protected you. I could've gotten to you before you died."

He sat down, folding his wings to his side. The words were spilling out of him. "And she's right. I'm a coward. A stupid, childish fool who's afraid of his own shadow. Because of it, I ruined Sapphire's life. Because of it, I let you die." He tapped his talons against the ground. "I don't think I could do anything to make it up to you for what I've done." 

He glanced up at the statue. He was met with the frozen stare of those teal gemstone eyes.

"You did more than I deserved, quite frankly. You gave me two wonderful dragonets. I cannot thank you enough. If there's one thing I could do for you, it's giving them a life that is better than ours. They are the light of my life." He smiled, lost in thought over them. "I'll be a good father."

He heavily sighed, his grin washed away. "It's a shame they came from Lagoon pressuring me. She wants another animus. Obvious why. I'm sorry that you were roped into all of this." He walked closer to the statue.

"Everything about us was dictated by her, really. Even our own marriage she arranged. Maybe, had you been luckier, you wouldn't have ended up with me. You could have had a lovely life with a better partner. A partner who...actually loved you."

His jaw quivered. "I was never clear about that, but I think you knew. You were the most beautiful dragon I've ever seen. You brought me more joy and happiness into my life than I deserved. But, even as I said my vows on that very night when we were wed, I lied." He bit his tongue. "I never felt more disgusted by myself when I told you 'I love you'. I didn't. I never did."

He blinked, feeling tears well up. "There's...something wrong with me." He looked at his talons. "I don't know whether it's this magic or something I was hatched with, but there's something deeply wrong with me. I wanted to love you. I treated you with so much care and respect. I liked you, Marlin. Every moment we spent together was one I cherished...but I never felt that spark."

His voice began to break. "Every day I wished that somehow I could fix myself. That one morning I would wake up and magically the hole in my heart and begin to feel any sort of attraction or love to you. That we could be together forever. End up like a couple in a storybook, where we rush off into the sunset forever, full of only love with one another."

He rested his head on the statue. "And I'm sorry that I'll never be able to give you that. You deserved someone who could love you in a way that meant something. You deserved a better life than what you were given, and I'm so...so sorry..."

He gave way to incoherent weeping, quietly murmuring to the statue the same thing over and over again. He was sorry. He couldn't do anything to fix it. He could only feel pity for himself. For being incapable of making a stand. For being incompetent when it came to social situations. For being a terrible, horrible partner.

Marlin was dead, and Albatross was left with nothing more than the cold, unfeeling statue that stood before her. As though her life was little more than a name on a garden decoration. A footnote in a long, long history of SeaWing royals. She would be forgotten by the sands of time.

So long as he lived, he would ensure she would be remembered. That, somehow, her story will be recounted even thousands of years later. It was the one thing he could promise.

[thestarpletsystem]

{I'm going to post this as it's own thing as well, since I'm pretty proud of it. This is in response to "The Future is Plural" and those who respond with The Future is Singlet. This entire thing is aimed at anti-endos, and I think is an important read for them. I also wanted it to reach my normal audiance as well, since a lot of you probably have some of the tags I tagged the original as blocked.}

"The future is singlet" goes back to what I reblogged earlier, which I doubt y’all would see since it’s a pro-endo post. Nobody is asking for there to be more abused kids. If they are, they probably aren’t speaking in good faith on this argument or they have something else they need to work through.

Let’s say that we know, 100% for a fact, the only way to be a system is through trauma. There is still use for you in that phrase. The point of “the future is plural” is not what it says on the tin, as you've shown. We’re not asking for there to be more systems, if we’re thinking strictly in your terms. We’re asking for it to be believed; for it to be taken seriously. We want it to be normalized in the way where if someone says “hey I’m plural” we believe them. We want there to be more understanding and less hate. We want to ensure that those ahead of us don’t have to face what we have, and that what those before us have done was not in vain.

You know why it’s not okay for clinicians to abuse their patients with DID? It’s not because they woke up one day and decided “maybe we shouldn’t be treating our patients like this.” It’s because activists before us did their job. Back in the ‘80s there were so many fucked up practices being done to those with DID, named MPD at that time. Which I must include because it is pertinent to the history of our disorder. Law suits have been brought to court and have been won over these practices. Now, while we are quite a bit better in terms of clinicians that specialize in DID, we aren’t in terms of the general population. They may still believe we are voilent and scary. They may still believe that it’s not a real disorder. They may still believe that it’s just like what they see on TV. Which, as everyone here knows, it isn’t.

We want to make sure they understand that we are humans, too. While we may be many, we aren’t terrible or lying or any number of things others who have no experience with DID think. We, as a community, deserve better. We deserve to be believed. We deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

And so, I bring it back to one of my first points. Even if we were arguing for there to be more systems, it’s not in the way you desperately want to believe. It’s not begging for more traumatized children. It’s not through pain and suffering. Its a call for pride on all sides. It’s also recognition of the systems that just happen, it’s to celebrate the beauty of those who found their plurality and aren’t traumatized like you or I. You can believe that systems and dissociation ONLY form from trauma, but you wouldn’t be right. To the end where even Dr. Collin A. Ross, one of, if not THE leading researcher in the field, outright states that there are those out there who have been diagnosed with DID and who struggle with dissociation who have no trauma history. He himself has said that there are even people who are multiple that would not fit the criteria or don’t have the difficulty that those with DID must to experience for it to be the disorder it is. (Thanks sysmedsaresexist!)

If you won’t listen to those who experience endogenic plurality, if you won’t listen to those who have done research and have still come to this conclusion, if you won’t listen to those leading in the field of trauma and dissociation, then who will you listen to? How will you be able to make sure you’re not spreading the same misinformation and hate that the phrase “The future is plural” is a desperate plea to combat? How are you better than the endogenic systems you want to demonize so badly?