#LOOK WHAT I FOUND WHILE DOING TAXES YALL

[swaggypsyduck]

i think my hatred for france nt started when my parents wouldn't let me have a zidane jersey bc: "there's no way we're supporting that country in our house"

"but he's algerian no?"

"yes, but he plays for france."

"but what if he played for algeria?"

"then you wouldn't even have to ask we'd already have a jersey here."

anyways look who's parents lied about sending their letter:

[gorejo]

▸ BOSS'S FAVORITE - gojo satoru (forbes30!gojo au)

what can you say to the boss's favorite customer when he comes five minutes before closing? Kick him out? Not an option, especially when he tips so well and has a rather cheeky motive to stay and get your attention.

content: 1.1k words. unedited. this is before the breakup! so, college forbes30!gojo. reader is his girlfriend, she/her pronouns. fluff! got this from an anon ask!! so nonnie if you see this, I hope you enjoy! also this is the shortest fic I've made in a hot minute! so be proud of me yall )) :

"you're here again," you monotonously asked, deadpanning with a raised brow, crossing your arms while you leaned to one side.

“Yes, as you can see since I’m seated here to get my order taken.” he smiled amused by your baffled expression.

“Sato—”

"your boss likes me," Satoru smugly responded while he sat back on his chair and crossed a leg over the other, his expensive shoes reflecting the cafe's dim lighting, "i came for him, so don't get mistaken," he teased with a childish smirk.

“And you know, that’s not a way to greet a valid customer. especially with my VIP status,” he huffed with the corner of his lip threatening into a smirk.

"And you know it's courtesy to not come into a store when we're just about to close," raising your wrist to look at your watch, “I don’t know like five minutes before closing.”

"well, don't blame me," he innocently batted his soft eyelashes, steadying his cheek on the palm of his hand, "I was waiting for my girlfriend outside and he so happened to kindly invite me in."

Gojo Satoru was your boss’s favorite. Not only did he effortlessly draw in customers, people curiously entering the cafe just for a closer look at him, only to end up buying a drink and some pastries to chill in the somber ambiance, but he also tipped generously — too generous to be even called a tip.

Those that walk by would do a double take when they would see the white haired man, tall in stature, dressed in a simple white shirt, and black slacks, and would reroute their steps hoping that maybe they were lucky to see him again.

Just by the frosty white of his hair, he gained attention — who wouldn’t stare at a handsome guy, covering his beautiful cerulean eyes with his notable sunglasses chilling on a seat looking through his phone, while he sipped on the most sugary drink the cafe had to offer.

The cafe was especially the busiest whenever he tagged the store on his socials. Flocks of his followers bombarded the store just to see a glimpse of their favorite college nepotism student, who happened to also be unapologetically haughty about his good looks.

And to his mercy, today, he graciously came just when the store was about to close — at least there won’t be a murderous amount of people trying to flock over. 

Because fuck capitalism.

Working on the weekends, and sacrificing your leisure to make money wasn't out of the norm. It was something most college students would do. Make a couple of bucks to comfortably buy that extra cup of coffee with oat milk, or go out with friends for some food or the club.

But for you, you had bills to pay. And it didn't help that your boyfriend was well outside your tax bracket.

He was kind and offered to pay for almost if not all the dates. But with exams rolling around, and your monthly rent just about due, you didn't have enough time to fit him into your schedule.

He never complained, simply worried that you were pushing yourself too harshly. Placing a kiss on your forehead as he tucked you into bed, or cradled you in his arms when he found you sleeping on the couch, he hoped that you could trust him — trust him enough with your burdens but he never pushed. Because he trusted you would come to him on your own time, when you were ready to invite him more into your heart.

So, he's found a rather cheeky way to squeeze some time to let you know he cares. It's just his way is not the most conventional one you could imagine...

“He likes you because you tip well,” you laughed while rolling your eyes.

Clearing his throat, "I know you like to talk to me because I am that handsome,” he opened up the menu and placed a finger to rub his chin while he “actively” tried to decide what to get, “but like I said, I do have a girlfriend and I would like to order please." He chuckled while looking up, giving you a boyish grin — the one that made your heart flutter despite how cheesy he was. 

At this point, it was disappointing how he still affected you. Flustered at his forwardness, you turned around, muttering as you felt a sudden heat radiate to your cheek. “Okay, then call someone when you’re ready.”

“No!” Immediately grabbing hold of your hand, a sharp screech on his chair scraping against the wooden floor echoing through the quiet cafe. He gave it a tight squeeze before he sat down, his puppy eyes pleading for you to wait, “I’m sorry… just, I- I’ll choose soon,” he mumbled, silently sitting back down.

"Okay, then… what can I get for you, Mr. Gojo." you sighed, shaking your head, looking at his fingers lightly playing with yours, “And didn’t you say you have a girlfriend? Not sure if she’ll like this if she saw, ” You smirked.

“eh it’s okay, she’ll understand,” He responded with a hum, “she loves me too much.” his thumb gently rubbed against your skin, the scales of the day’s stress flaking off the more his warm hands massaged yours. “but, give me a minute, gotta read through all the options.”

“You serious?... ” It was so easy to read through his actions — it was laughable, really. 

“Yes, this requires a lot of thinking,” quickly peeping at his watch latched on his vacant hand before humming exaggeratingly, “hmm…”

Tapping your foot, “Any minute now, that’ll be great, Sat —”

"Give me a couple of seconds please,” he stopped you, reading through each item, slow as a sloth — at most twenty items were on the menu, it shouldn’t even take an elementary student this long to read at his pace.

“Sure, whatever for the boss’s favorite, right?” you pursed your lips, your eyes forming faux crescent moons.  

“Oh, I got it!” he chirped, simultaneously closing the menu when you heard your boss off in the distance, shooing your other coworkers into the kitchen, “Let’s close up! Chop! Chop! The faster we finish, the faster we go home!” 

“I need to go help —” you tried heading to the kitchen, not wanting your coworkers to bear the burden of cleaning on their own.

“I'll get —" Gojo hummed, just about to say his order before you cut him off, his firm grip on your hand keeping you from leaving.

"the mochi with zunda, with freshly whipped cream and a side of strawberries to go with it, anything else?" you quickly retorted.

"Oh yes, maybe I can top it off…” elbows leaning against the table with his arms crossed, flashing you with his cheeky smile — the one that showed his teeth and the cute dimple he had on the bottom corner of his lip. 

“with a kiss, because you’re finally off the clock now, right?”

author's note: he's so annoying but I love him to death so that's alright heh

[itsbubbleteataro]

As promised! Something to hold y’all over for a bit! Good news is we have a long term rental till we can find a better place (its not the best) If yall would like more please do tell me

Chapter one- Scowls

Her eyes snapped towards the sounds of boots against the stone floor. Looking up at the source she found it to be her Captain Demitri. She jumped to her feet, giving a salute. Demitri was dressed in his woolen uniform, cheeks red from the bitter winter cold.. The uniform is a dark blue with gold across the front, white straps holding his saber steady and spanning his torso. Irena’s uniform was the same, just less decorative.

Clearing his throat, Demitri spoke up,

“The queen has asked us to go ahead and scout for a suitable location for her to host a speech. She said it was to be undercover, so as to not alarm any possible thieves guilds or rogues.”

Irena agreed and went off to go change, replacing her guard uniform with a simple brown wool dress. It was of the style of the times, having a rectangular shape to the dress. Still, feeling as if she should have some sort of protection with her, fastened a simple dagger to her thigh, concealed by the dress.

Meeting Demitri at the agreed upon site, Irena spotted him pretty quickly, as few people seemed as tall as him. Taking in his appearance he was wearing dark blue pants made of material that looked warm enough. His shirt was made of white wool,with red embroidery around the wrists of the sleeves and the collar of the shirt. His blonde hair, messy. Blue eyes swiftly taking in Irena’s appearance. Irena’s hair is pulled back into a braid that fell to just above her waist. Upon seeing her, he nodded his head. The two of them swiftly departed to one of the towns.

The two of them walked into Gelevgrad, quickly noticing how poor the area was. The queen had been raising taxes a lot recently, and it really was a wonder that people even could survive. The ever growing eternal freeze seemed to be growing closer and closer to the settlement, already having claimed a nearby town known as Vyboba. People looked at them with differing layers of distaste, noticing how well fed the two of them were.

Irena grew tense, feeling the eyes of a stranger on her, Demitri gave her a look, telling her indirectly to calm down. Nodding, Irena dropped her shoulders in an attempt to look less tense. The two of them continuing to walk and look around, looking for a suitable area to give a speech. While looking, a stranger bumped into Demitri. The stranger spun around on his heel to apologize, Demitri waved his hand to show it was alright and the stranger walked off.

Dimitri felt around his pockets, before swearing under his breath.

“That man was a pickpocket. Damn. there goes our spending money,” he sighed.

Irena gave chase, ignoring Demitri’s calls to come back and let the man go. She chased the stranger into an alleyway where she got a better look at him. A tall slender build, around the same height as Demitri. Radiant green eyes and soft brown hair that bounced with each step he took. A simple white tunic and black pants paired with a thick jacket completed his outfit.

“Oh? Who’s come to chase down little ol’ me?” The man purred condescendingly.

Irena growled under her breath,

“Give back what you stole!”

“Steal? Me? Never!” the man responded all but too quick, his lips curling into a slight smirk as he batted his eyelashes.

Ireana groaned, “yes you did! From the Captain of the Royal Guards! I know I saw you do it!”

The stranger chuckled, “I stole from the Royal Guard dog and who does he send to fetch me? A little puppy.” he cooed.

“I’m not a puppy!”

“Until I see some bite sweetheart, you’ll just be a puppy.”

Irena swung on the man, her fist missing his face as the stranger backed up chuckling.

“I ought to tell the captain to put a leash on yo-”

The next blow hit him square in the face, Irena chuckled,

“How’s that for a bite?”

“Gotta hit a little harder, honey.”

A second blow connected, hitting his jaw with a solid sounding crack. Not a second later, Demitri rounded the corner, sliding on the snow before shouting for Irena.

The stranger took the time to deliver a solid kick to her torso and backed up, scaling the wall.

“Oh so that's the puppy's name? Pleasure meeting you Irena. Oh and captain! The revolution thanks you for your ever generous donation to our cause. Long live the Revolution!”

With that the green eyed stranger fled, going over a few roofs and sliding down into a different location. Irena clutched her torso with a scowl on her face, cursing out the stranger under her breath. Demitri walked over, putting his hand on her shoulder and inspecting where she was kicked. Sighing and trusting that nothing was broken, he helped her to her feet.

“Irena, why didn't you just listen?”

“He would have gotten away Demitri! With our money too!”

“I know Irena, but it isn't really worth it.. What if he had a weapon?”

“Demitri we both know that they would still be no match! Plus if he was he wasn't the only one that was armed in that situation!”

With a sigh, Demitri let the situation go. He would find other times to scold Irena for her brash behavior, currently they had to report back, informing the Queen the area was not safe for a speech. The two took their leave, returning back to the warmth of the palace.

After landing soundly in a snowbank, the stranger shook his head, groaning as he rubbed his jaw,

“Puppy can land a solid hit. Damn, that hurts.”

He opened and closed his jaw before picking up a handful of snow, compacting it into a ball, and holding it against the side of his jaw where a good sized bruise was starting to form. Ensuring he left no footprints in the snow as he went, he made his way to a clinic, pushing open the door and plopping down on one of many beds with a grunt.

“Katya? Katya! Katya please! It hurts! I’ll die!”

“If you're talking you're not dead.”

A woman responded, tone colder than the snow outside. She had long blonde hair, pulled up into a bun, with a few stray hairs hanging out. She has icy brown eyes, and a mask over her lips and nose. A thick wool dress kept her warm. A simple white apron covered in an assortment of blood and other bodily fluids kept her dress clean.

“Oh Katya you're here!”

The stranger rejoiced, eating the packed snow that he once held against his jaw,

“My jaw! I think some royal guard puppy broke it!”

“You're talking. You're fine. Besides, it was probably deserved Alexander. Let me guess, You stole from someone, and they came running after you. You then decided to not take the money and run and instead taunt?”

“How did you know?!” Alexander seemed genuinely amazed.

“You’re easy to read”

Katya deadpanned.

Within the hour, Katya had convinced Alexander that he in fact had not broken his jaw and did not ruin his roguish good looks.

“Oh, that reminds me Alex, Viktoriya is sending for you,” Katya turned to organize and check how much supplies she had left.

“How long till?” Alexander swung his legs over the side of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Three nights”

“Sounds good, as long as she can ensure I won't be found. Pretty sure that puppy wants to see me swinging from the gallows after what I pulled”

“Well, you’re an old hand* you’ll be alright. Now out of my Infirmary! You’re taking up air that I'd like to breathe”

“Okay, okay, I'm leaving! I’ll take a trip into Vyboba to see if I can secure any medical supplies for you while the dogs lose my scent.”

“Smartest idea I've ever heard from you Alex”

“Aww, and here I thought you didn’t love me, Katya.”

“Get out before I get my scalpel.”

“Yes ma’am!”

With that, the door shut tight, and Katya let out a breath she had been holding for sometime. Katya sighed, eyes drifting over to the dwindling medical supplies that she had. Alexander must have run a count while she was tending to him. She smiled softly, as much as he was annoying, he did notice the things that mattered.

—---------------------

Old Hand - Experienced thief

Chapter Two - The Night Watch

Back at the palace, after informing the Queen of what had transpired, Demitri had informed Irena that as punishment, she was to patrol at night for the next week. Night watch was the better of the two options she was presented with, it was night watch or spend the next month cleaning the entire force’s weapons. 

A few nights had passed with nothing unusual. Irena took the time to ensure the fire in the bronze braziers stayed lit, as it was keeping the palace warm from the eternal freeze outside. It started like every other night, doing her rounds, making sure the fires stay lit. The night air was cool, flowing in from the open windows. Irena leaned out one of the open windows, taking a deep breath and admiring the city lights below. 

Meanwhile down below, Alexander rubbed his hands together, mentally cursing how cold the world is growing. Blowing into his palms and rubbing them together to keep his fingertips warm. He looked up at the bricks of the castle, mentally planning his route to climb, and if he should fall, which of the snow banks looks the softest and deepest to fall into.      

“Oh, if puppy finds me out she’ll have me climbing a ladder up to bed* in no time! Easy Alexander, that's if puppy catches you” 

His hands gripped the bricks as he began his climb, taking his time, not worried about being seen so much as being heard. Carefully holding on to each brick as he carried himself higher and higher till he reached the window closest to the Princess’ room. He looked inside briefly, checking if the coast was clear, before stepping inside and pausing for a moment to warm his hands by the fire, before making his way to the room. He knocked three times, the door opened and he slipped inside. 

“Were you followed, Alexander?” “No your highness, I was not.”

“Good. My mother is hosting a masked ball in one month, during that time, have your birds of a feather* sneak in, they should be able to charm* their way in the treasure room if needed, but the two guards you would have to worry about will be busy. I need you one more thing, my mother is planning something, perhaps someone could have some fun* and sneak in to uncover her plans?”

“How can you assure my Princess?”

“They will be in attendance. Originally, I was just to have Royal Guard Captain Demitri attend under the assumption he was to guard me personally, however I was recently informed about your little run in with Irena?”

“Yes your highness, she caught me having a little fun* with Demitri and gave chase, I believe she wants to see me bowed* and at the very least in the bilboes*”

Princess Viktoriya giggled as Alex rubbed his head. Viktoriya has long blonde hair with bright blue eyes and a pale complexion. Currently she was in her nightwear. Scandalous to meet a man in such a manner maybe, but she was a crucial part of the bubbling revolution and it was imperative to meet people in secret. 

“Am I to assume you only served to piss her off?”

“Yes, it made me sick to watch her be so loyal to nothing but a dog for the Queen.”

“Then I'm afraid you will not like the news I have called you here for Alexander. I’ve added to the list of attendees, Irena is to come as well, she will be undercover along with Demitri. However, I also want you and a few others to come undercover. That way you can keep an eye on her, and I Demitri, to ensure that your people pull off this heist with as little problem as possible. Perhaps get another one of the Court Jester’s involved? “

“If I were to get my actual birds of a feather involved it would only spiral. I’m afraid they are more in it for selfish gain than I”

“Understood. I shall see you in a month, be sure to be masked. Do not tell me how many you wish to get involved. If you get tried I will not be used as a witness against you.”

“Yes your highness, Bene feaker.*”

“Bene feaker.”

With that, Alexander took his leave, slipping out of the room and into the hallway. The door squeaked, pulling Irena from her thoughts as she turned to look for the sound of the noise. The two made eye contact, unmoving as they studied each other, trying to determine who would make the first move. A stand off, only broken by Alexander, who’s eyes drifted from Irena over to the window. He had done a mental check, it was the same window he had climbed in with, thus he knew there was a deep pile of snow just under the window. Sure, it would still hurt falling, but he would rather take the chance of breaking a rib than to be captured and hung. 

Alexander made a dash, Irena close behind, reaching into a holster where her service flintlock pistol was, pulling it out, two hands grasping the handle. The handle was a deep oak, fastened together by darkened steel bolts. The gun itself was also fastened by steel, the chamber loaded. She aimed the barrel at Alexander who was now sat in the window, a scowl on his face as he mentally prepared for the fall. 

“Scoundrel! What did you do to the Princess? I know you came from her chambers!”

“What did I do? Nothing puppy. Just had a little chat.”

“Lies! You were up to no good!”

“Why do you assume such? Do you really hate me so? Oh, you wound me, Irena!”

“I assume as much as you were in her room when the moon is high in the sky, what else could you have done to her, you scoundrel!”

“Is scoundrel the only insult you have for me tonight, puppy?” 

Alexander raised his hands in a show of mock surrender.

“Oh, I’m sorry, would you have preferred rapscallion?” 

“Quite. Much better puppy. “

He took the fall and she took the shot. 

Alexander fell into the snow bank as Irena’s shot rang through the night, effectively rousing every guard from their slumber. Alexander sat still for a moment. The snow was not as deep as he thought, he stood up and groaned in pain. He had to get out and quick lest he be found out. He stood up, pain shooting through his body. He clutched his side, figuring he had to at least have cracked a rib. He was thankful it had started to snow, covering his tracks. It would not take a master to realize from his walk alone that he had been injured. Alexander limped away. 

Meanwhile Irena leaned out the window, the footsteps of guards echoing behind her.

“Irena?!”

Called out Demitri.

“Kurwa! He got away” 

Irena cursed, holstering her pistol once more. A glare permanently made its way to her eyes as she turned around to face Demitri. Demitri looked disheveled, having hastily thrown on his uniform after hearing the shot rang through the castle and thinking the worst happened. His blue eyes filled with worry as he motioned for other guards to go check on the princess. Demitri studied Irena, her brown hair slowly falling out of its uniform bun, her shoulders tense, her lips pressed together, forming a line and a glare never leaving her hardened brown eyes. He sighed,

“He was here, wasn't he?”

“Yes sir. I found him sneaking out of the Princess’ room.”

“Did you hear anything beforehand?”

“No, sir.”

“I’ll need a report on why you fired your service issued gun instead of pulling out your saber.”

“Understood, sir.” 

Demetri sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder, 

“Relax your shoulders sargeant. Go on and rest for the night, I’ll have someone take your place tonight.”

“But sir-”

“Irena, I mean it. Go rest. We’ll talk in the morning.”

“Yes, sir.”

Irena gave him a salute then walked off as Demitri nodded to one of the guards who seemed the most awake, then returned to his chambers himself.

“Katya! Katya!”

The door to the infirmary swung open, waking up Katya, who was slumped over her desk working on a medical report. Her head snapped over to the entrance, her blonde hair out of its usual ponytail. Her eyes scanned and looked at Alexander, taking in how slouched over he was, clinging to his side, grumbling about the fall and wining about pain. She pointed to an empty bed, and Alexander followed, plopping down with a groan. Throwing her hair up into a ponytail,  Katya started an examination of Alexander.

“Cracked rib. Just what did you do! It was supposed to be something simple! You go in, speak with Viktoyra, you get out, how on earth did you manage to mess that up Alexander?”

Katya questioned as she turned around to prepare something for the pain. 

“Irena. That’s the puppy’s name. She saw me slipping out of her room, accusing me of things that are very much below me. She then tried to shoot me! Worst of all Katya, she called me a rapscallion and a scoundrel!” 

Alexander wined, sitting up slowly and taking the pain medication Katya made for him. 

“Are you saying you are not a scoundrel?”

Katya questioned, Alexander wined.

“Okay so I am a bit of a scoundrel for rarely using her name, and possibly going too far with my teasing. But she wants me dead, Katya! She tried to shoot me tonight.”

“Even I wish to shoot you on some nights, Alexander”

“Wounding an already wounded man is low for even for you. You did not see the way she glared at me. There was enough fire behind it to burn a man alive, to melt the ice left behind by the eternal freeze. That woman may stop at nothing to watch me quartered and drawn, I fear.”

“Yes, so I've heard. Perhaps you should not have provoked her in the first place?”

“Nay Katya, it is quite entertaining.”

“So then why do you keep whining?”

“Can’t a man be outspoken about his woes?”

“If you are well enough to do that it seems my medication is working. Do go on home now. Rest.”

“Yes Katya. One last thing however. The Queen is hosting a masked ball and the princess has asked us a few things. She thinks the queen is planning something, she requests that we send some people to investigate. Second, she also wishes us to gain more resources, to break into the treasury. Third, A few of us are to attend the ball, under cover of course. I’ll be back in the morning to work out the finer details, we have a month to figure things out”

“Alexander, you are aware your rib will not be fully healed by then, yes?”

“Well I am aware now Katya!” He sighed, “Bene feaker, Katya.”

“Bene feker, Alexander.” 

The next morning arrived all too quickly for Irena. She had finished her report and was now seated in Demitri’s office, who was reading the report she had handed him.

“Why did you not have your saber Irena?”

“As stated in my report Demitri, it’s in the armory, being looked after and serviced. I had no choice but to use my revolver”

“Okay, I’m starting to see the picture now, but there is still one thing I do not quite understand, Irena. Why do you hate him so?”

“He calls us dogs, Demtri. He called you a glorified guard dog, and will not stop referring to me as a puppy. All he does is provoke. I may not know the condition of the princess currently, but I do know I saw him coming out of her room. Who knows what he could have done to her!”

“Irena he fell willfully out of the window, he should be injured a great deal.”

“Perfect. We can track him down and perform an arrest.”

“Irena, I would not be surprised if the man was part of a thieves guild. You know how

tricky they all can get. We need to think calmly and rationally, check over all the records of the existing thieves guilds we know of. The Round Table, The Court Jesters, The House of Hope, all possibilities we need to look into. Lay low for now Irena. Do not do anything brash.”

“Understood, sir.”

Irena left his office, the glare still ignited in her eyes, she needed to blow off steam, to sharpen her will. Thus she trained. Sparing with other Royal Guard members, keeping her weapons as sharp as can be. Her own thoughts plagued their next meeting. 

Around a week after the event, Irena and Demitri were called into the Princess’ study, where they were informed they were to attend the next masked ball. Irena had reservations, not having been to a ball since her debut ball, but figured she would not have to dance unless asked. Demitri on the other hand was more nervous. He hadn't attended a ball he wasn’t guarding in many a moon. He looked over at Irena, who’s gaze was firmly planted on the stone underneath their feet. He made up his mind, he would ask her to dance.

The ball was two weeks away, he had time to relearn to dance. Demetri wasn't worried about Irena, as the child of a noble, she would have no doubt attended her own fair share. He was more worried about impressing her, and not making a fool of himself. 

—--------------------------

Climb a ladder up to bed - to be hanged 

Birds of a feather - rouges of the same game

Charm - lockpick

Bowed - arrested 

Bilboes - stocks or prison 

Bene feaker - good night 

Fun - to cheat or trick

CHAPTER THREE - The Ball, The Dance

In the city of Gelevgrad, Alexander and Katya had rounded up members of their thieves guild, Hellebores, figuring out a suitable plan for the masked ball. They had gathered two others, a man skilled in the art of stealth named Luka to break into the office of the queen, and a woman more skillful of a lockpick than Alexander named Sasha. Sasha is Katya’s sister, looking almost identical to her except for a mole under her lip on the right side. Luka is a taller man, cold brown eyes and pitch black hair. Each dressed for the weather, gathered around a table in Katya’s infirmary.

“Alright, Luka, you’ll be responsible for breaking into the queen’s study, the Princess says something is going on. Sasha, your nimble fingers will be needed for the treasury. Katya and I will be in attendance of the ball, keeping an eye on the amount of guards as well as keeping an eye on the guard dog and puppy”

“Alexander, would it not be better to involve more people?”

“Afraid not Sasha, we want to keep the group as small as possible. Now we each have our assignments, the ball is in two weeks. Rest up, find suitable clothing. dismissed”

The crowd went their separate ways, Sasha and Luka chatting away as they went off to go find clothing. Katya leaned back in her chair, looking Alexander up and down as he started to pace around the floor. 

“Nervous?” “I won’t lie, I am a little. Puppy will be there, masked too. I won’t know if I'll even dance at the ball. If I do dance, how will I know that it won’t be with her?” 

“You think too much Alexander. You tease her and yet you don’t want to dance with the woman.”

“Katya, she wants me dead. Hanging from the gallows. Would make a trophy out of my own head!”

“I do think you could be exaggerating, Alex.”

“Katya!” Alexander sighed, “at any rate we may have to dance, to fit the part of an attendee. Are you aware of how to dance? You spend so much time here I would not be surprised if you did not know how to at least waltz.”

Katya remained quiet, crossing her arms and looking away. Alexander smiled, extending a hand of his. 

“Come on, I'll teach you.” 

Katya took his outstretched gloved hand, gasping slightly as he pulled her in with a smirk. He lead her around the room, humming a simple waltz, chuckling as Katya trips over her two feet. 

“I can see why Irena wants you dead, Alex.”

“You flatter me.”

The weeks flew by, the maids bustling here and there, hanging decorations and ensuring the palace ballroom looked as fine as it could be. The court musicians could be heard practicing waltzes until the sun set. Demitri spent his time off with his sisters, relearning how to dance and not make a fool of himself.  His younger sisters, Alena and Asya were eager to help him. Alena is a court musician and violinist. Asya, the youngest, had just made her debut at a recent ball.  Demitri took the time to ensure his suit and mask were ready, his sisters helping to ensure they were up to royal standards. 

The time the three spent practicing, Irena spent training as well as brushing up on her waltz. She had not danced since her debut ball, as shortly afterwards she took a liking to and joined the Royal guard. Princess Viktoyra was kind enough to help her pick out a dress, as she was asked personally to attend. With the princess’ help, a gown was chosen with a matching mask. 

The day of the ball arrived. The night fell and the ballroom was packed with members of the court, various dukes and duchess alike and many more of the nobility. Demitri adjusted the collar on his suit then fixed his bowtie. His sisters had picked out a simple black suit with a white dress shirt, his bowtie a shade of gold. The mask that clung to his face, a shade of gold and white, allowing his blue eyes to stand out. His eyes scanned the room, landing on Irena. 

Irena’s hair was down, the first he’s seen at such a length, loose curls framing her face as she scanned the room. Her mask is a deep shade of crimson with golden accents, the design filled with a few swirls. Pearls lay just under her eyes, as if they were tears. Her dress was a matching shade of crimson, the sleeves cut halfway up the middle, so the fabric draped off her arm. The neckline of the dress draped off her shoulders. Her waist, corseted, much different from the boxy dresses she would wear on her days off. Demitri opened and closed his fist, losing his nerve to speak with her. He had never seen her so divine. 

 “Oh, do not lose your nerve now brother.” Snickers Asya. Her mask and outfit was very similar to Demitri’s in color, and to Irena’s dress in style. Demitri shot a look to his little sister that sent her giggling.

“Could it be that you have seen your sergeant all dolled up before? You seem like a boy again, all nervous and what not. Simply speak with her, I’m positive that Alena could have the musicians play a waltz just for the two of you?” 

Demitri sighed, 

“Asya, I have never seen her in such a manner before. She looks divine, like the gods have shaped her with their own wills. Covered in red velvet I have never seen such a finer sight in all my years”

“The worst she could say is no, brother dear.” 

Again Demitri sighed, fixing his bowtie and taking a deep breath. Asya patted his back while nodding over to Alena, who then nodded to her fellow orchestra members. Unknown to Demitri, his sisters had planned everything out, even roping the court musicians in on the ploy. 

Demitri walked over, his heart pounding in his chest, trying to steady his breathing. A pair of green eyes followed from underneath a silver and black mask. When he finally reached Irena, he extended a hand, she looked at him, a slight look of bewilderment crossing her face. 

“I-Irena” Demitri stammered out, feeling like a fool for tripping over his words as if he were a school boy, “May I have this dance?” 

Irena smiled and placed her hand in his, “I’m no good captain, but I accept” 

Alena started the song as Demitri pulled her close. The waltz is slow and soft with hints of playfulness throughout it. The one with the silver and black mask watched the two glide along to the song, unable to take his eyes off the one in red. Demitri had one hand on Irena’s hand and the other on her hip while she had one hand in his and the other on his shoulder. 

Princess Viktoriya walked over to Asya and gently elbowed her. Her gown is the finest of the bunch, with gold sewn into it with other priceless jewels. The fabric is a rich deep blue, a train accompanying it. The dress was in the same style as the others, yet seemed to stand tall out from the rest. Perched upon her curly locks, was her tiara, made of gold and home to several priceless jewels. Viktoriya was giggling under her breath. 

“Asya, how did you manage to make this happen?”

“a-Ah Princess!” Asya hastily bowed, “It was no big deal. We simply reminded him how to dance, Alena managed to get the musicians in on the little idea. The rest was up to him.”

 “Well, you have my thanks, Asya. I’ve seen the way he looks at her whenever they are together. It is quite something.” Her eyes softened. “If only someone could look at me the same.”

“Princess! I’m sure you will find someone soon!”

“Thank you, Asya. You are too kind.”

As the two spoke, Demitri looked into Irena’s eyes, his gaze softening as she looked around the room while they spun and waltzed across the ballroom. 

“Irena?”

Irena looked up at him, brown eyes filled with a mix of emotions. Demitri lost his nerve.

“I-I um” Demitri stammered out as the song came to an end, “You dance good.”  

“Thank you, Captain.” 

Irena returned to the wall she was standing against, returning her gaze to the crowd as Demitri scolded himself under his breath for not being bolder. He returned to where he was standing to a snickering Asya and a curious Princess. 

“How did it go, Captain Demitri?” Viktorya asked as Demitri made a quick bow. 

“Not as well as I would have hoped.” Demitri responded, ignoring his sister’s snickering.

The man in the silver and black mask watched as his coworker and friend was off waltzing with a nobel, nodding to his other two friends both in black masks, watching the two slip away and deep into the castle.  

He then walked up to Irena. He had been watching her all night, fascinated by the woman in red. He stuck out his hand, 

“Madam”

“Sir” She placed a hand in his gloved hand. She took in his appearance. Bouncy soft brown hair that seemed a bit unkempt, piercing green eyes under a silver and black mask. A simple black and white suit with no evidence of ever having a tie of any sort. Irena raised an eyebrow, thinking him a tad under dressed for a ball as big as this, but choosing to pay it no mind. He could not have snuck in afterall, most of the palace guards were currently guarding the doors and windows to the ballroom. She gasped softly as he placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand,

“Madam, you look positively stunning tonight, as beautiful as a rose in any royal garden. Dare I say you even outshine the royal family tonight.” 

“Sir, you are too kind. I myself am not the only dashing one tonight, your eyes shine like the finest emeralds locked away in the royal vault.”

“Thank you madam. It is not often someone is as straightforward with what they desire. If I may be so bold as to ask for a dance this evening?”

“You may sir, you may have this dance.”

[sunshinetoshi]

matching outfits

TSUKISHIMA KEI, USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI, KUROO TETSUROU, AND KYOUTANI KENTAROU (+ some rapid fire extras below the cut)

A/N: i know matching/coordinating is not everyone’s cup of tea but it for sure is mine so here are some self-indulgent fluffy headcanons with maybe a splash of chaos idk haha. i keep overthinking this post and comparing it to my other stuff but im trying to leave those vibes going into this new year. it’s also been a mentally taxing day and escapism is real and i genuinely love these so im posting xx sending yall love rn

Tsukishima thinks it’s cheesy. You’ve tested the waters about it and he always said it was tacky. One day you two went shopping together. He found a pair of pants he kind of liked and you convinced him to go to the dressing room to try it on. You wouldn’t stop complimenting him and he turned into a blushing mess. What could you say-he looked GOOD. After the tenth compliment he just pushed you out of the room and quickly told you to wait for him to finish up. He sounded brash but you could see in his eyes he felt hyped up. You cackled knowing you got him really flustered and patiently looked through the racks as you waited. When he walked up to you you held up a jacket-the exact same print as the pants he was buying. “Okay, hear me out-” you quickly told him how the jacket would look amazing with this certain pair of jeans you have. And he knew the pair-whenever you wore those pants he couldn’t take his eyes off you. If this jacket gives you an excuse to wear those jeans more often, Tsukki was on board-matching or not.

Ushjima gave you matching knit sweaters for your birthday. It was the first birthday of yours he was spending with you as your boyfriend and he wanted to get you something nice but he didn’t know what he should get. So he went to the internet, but he only saw a few ideas he liked so he went to his next trusted source.. Well apparently Tendou said the sweaters would be a good idea (even though Tendou was completely guessing). But luckily you thought it was a sweet gift. After you unwrapped them you two decided to try them on. So you did and stood in front of the mirror. “Do you like them?” He gently adjusted your sweater to fit your frame better. The little gesture made your heart burst. But you managed to breath out an “I love it.” He stared at your reflections and a little smile graced his lips, “I love it too.”

Kuroo was slightly indifferent to the idea at first but when he learned you actually liked it he knew he’d do it for you. He decided to take initiative on it and he actually surprised you with matching hoodies and kept laughing at how excited you were before you wore them, while you wore them, and after. He’d just be adoring you and your state of joy. He honestly thought those hoodies were the most he and you would match but then one day he was scrolling on his phone and he saw a couple on social media wearing matching outfits. He was hooked. The outfit in the picture was right up his alley. He didn’t know matching outfits didn’t necessarily mean the same shirt- it could also be coordinating color palettes. He showed you and was like “Oh come on we would look so good doing this. It’s tasteful, no?” And it wasn’t like you needed convincing. For the record, you two killed it.

Kyoutani. HAHAHA yeah no. Refuses. Refuses. Refuses. Until. He surprises you with a trip to Disneyland because you'd been dying to go with him. At the end he gave in when you said it'd be cute to get hoodies as souvenirs and take a selfie. But you made it clear they didnt have to match. So you two split up to go around and find a sweater you each wanted. He picked one in about five minutes but you took twenty, walking around the store twice. You approached him to show him which you were getting yourself. "Babe this is the only one I liked." You held it up and then froze when you saw it was the same in his hand. You'd be matching. You pulled out the puppy dog eyes and wrapped your hands around his neck. "Match with me?" He grumbled but brought both sweaters to the cashier so you two could pay. When he saw the selfie you two took in your matching Disney hoodies he changed his mind about matching REAL fast. Every time you two went to Disney he would pick out a sweater and buy two of them for you to wear on your next visit to the parks!

Rapid Fire:

Asahi immediately says yes, he thinks it’s so soft to be matching with you (prefers coordinating over matching though) WILL craft and sew new pieces for you two

Oikawa loves it, but you got mad once cause he said it looked better on him. He swears he was joking but you know he wasn’t. But you couldn't be too mad when he was right

Kenma wants to see what you want to match in before he actually agrees. Takes a while but when he sees a hoodie he likes he can’t help but grin in excitement.

Nishinoya was ecstatic. You’re the one who brought it up but he executed it. He picked and bought everything. You thought at most it’d be a matching shirt and like the same color pants but Noya said it would not be complete unless you guys had matching socks and hats and wore the same colored shoes.

Bokuto buys you two matching onesie pjs and you have to remind him you two cant wear them EVERY night.

concept photos from pinterest (main word concept heheh i know there are so many different bodies and styles out there-just sharing pics i like lowkey so i can manifest someone matching with me BAHAH)

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Carbolicious

guess who i got for the mini bog exchange?!?! @ohnomybreadsticks !!!! I am honored and had a lot of fun writing for this pairing! Without further adieu, Calanthe and Eist being stupidly cute in love.

Warnings: none its fluffy, jk it gets mildly horny, but it’s me - what do yall expect?

___________________________

Calanthe bit her cheek and did her best to keep her expression diplomatic and impassive while she listened to this prick twitter on about how important the lifestyle and fashion section of their newspaper was. She was about a millisecond away from tearing him to shreds. 

“...and I think it’s really important for women to have something they can enjoy in our publications as well.”

There it was.

Calanthe rolled her eyes and closed her padfolio, “Sit down.”

The idiot had the decency to look scared as she turned to him, still not leaning forward in her chair, “If you don’t pull your head out of your ass I’m passing your job to someone else. Women are our primary reading demographic and were even before someone decided we needed a lifestyle section. We write for people, not stereotypes. No more out of you today.”

The meeting wrapped up rather quickly after that. No one really wanted to speak unless it was to agree with what she said, annoyingly enough. She’d seen Natalia’s notes and was intrigued, but she’d have to wait for tomorrow. Right now she had her weekly interruption to attend to. 

“My fierce lioness! My gorgeous wife! How will I continue to breathe if you don’t accompany me to lunch?” 

Eist stood in the doorway to the bullpen of desks, arms spread wide with flowers in one hand and his jacket in the other. Their routine was the same every week. On Wednesday he would come in and sweep her away for lunch an hour early, and sometimes bring her back an hour late, always with flowers and always with fanfare. There was a chorus of dreamy sighs mixed with grunts of annoyance as he rushed up the stairs to Calanthe’s office where she waited, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Need I remind you that you managed to survive without me for a whole three weeks once?” she teased as he made it to the top of the stairs. 

He grinned and presented the extravagant bouquet, “Never. It taxes my nerves just thinking about it.” 

A soft, fond smile spread across her face as she took the bouquet and kissed his cheek, “Where are we going today?”

Eist offered his arm, like a true courtly gentleman of old, and pretended to ponder his answer as if he hadn’t made reservations at least three days in advance, “I was thinking Series Rooftop. I hear they make an excellent Old Fashion.”

“Lead the way.”

-

The Old Fashion was delicious, the food - not so much. 

As soon as the waitress left Calanthe looked up at Eist and whispered, “Pub?” 

“Yes. Pub,” he agreed, popping the entire contents of his plate in his mouth at once in disappointment. 

So they ended up at their usual spot, where they had their first date and every bartender knew their drink and asked how Ciri was doing in school. 

Calanthe looked up from the menu she insisted on reading every time they went, even if she’d probably had it memorized by now, to find her husband watching her with a disgustingly sweet smile, “What?” 

He took one of her hands in his and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, “Have I told you you’re unbelievably beautiful today?”

She blushed, even after so many years, and hummed, “Twice before I was done with my workout this morning.”

“Good.”

She glanced back down at the menu before her attention was drawn back to him by a sigh, “Alright, what are you angling for?”

Eist pretended to be shocked that he’d been found out, a little game Calanthe would never admit to finding unreasonably endearing, “Well, since you asked…” he winked and brought her hand up to kiss her knuckles, “Take the rest of the day off. Ciri is going to a friend’s house after school and I miss you terribly.”

“Hmmm,” Calanthe smirked, knowing full well that translated to ‘spend all afternoon in bed until they played rock paper scissors for who had to get Ciri’, “and what shall I do when the new kid approves a disaster sexist fluff piece in my absence?”

“Fire him,” Eist didn’t even hesitate, “Natalia would never let it happen anyway.” 

She raised  her eyebrows, but pulled out her phone and switched it off airplane to call the office. Only there was a text from Natalia saying she’d had their assistant clear her meeting schedule for the afternoon.

How did you know? -C

You always call out when he starts with Lioness - Nat

Calanthe chuckled as she put her phone down, “My dear, you’ve become predictable. They already cleared my schedule.” 

Eist squeezed her hand briefly and picked up his menu with a twinkle in his eye, “Perfect! I’m going to get the shrimp scampi. I have a feeling we’ll need the energy later.” 

[joontier]

The King’s Guard | Chapter 1

pairings: kim seokjin x reader; jeon jungkook x reader

series rating: R (18+) | genre: historical drama au!; king seokjin! au; established relationship! au; royalty! au!; 

warnings: non-graphic mentions of an abuse by Y/N’s stepmama; mentions of death; ANGST; horny ass jinnie and y/n; groping; unprotected sex bc condoms werent invented yet; fingering; edging if ya squint; impregnation kink; voyeurism; oral m and f receiving; slight degradation; good god i have never written this much filth in my life, brb gotta go to church;

word count:  6.3k

g/n: hEY HEY HEY BACK WITH THE SMUT YALL; anywho a few disclaimers before u read this sweetie, YES, its Jung Jungkook for a reason, you’ll see soon enough ;) also,,,, there might be a few korean words thrown in there but ya know context clues or u could search them up too if u want,,,, but i’ll also be placing them at the end of this post for ya <3 P.S. this is also going to turn into a series y’aLLLL GAHHHH

The King’s Guard - Masterlist  ||  navi.

The King’s Guard | Chapter 1

It’s with Seokjin’s relentless pounding from behind you that you figure that the council meeting probably didn’t go well today. You’ve discovered that times of intimacies like these were a way to relieve himself of the stresses of being a newly pronounced king. Not that you were complaining though.

His fingers find your clit with practiced ease, rubbing at sensitive nub with great fervor. Seokjin’s punishing thrusts become slower as you both reached your highs, his cock falling limp shortly after he pulls out of you. Reaching over to the nearby table, he grabs a towel and dips it on the bowl of water, wiping away traces of his climax between your thighs. He pulls up his pants previously bunched in his ankles and arranges the rest of his durumagi, removing any possible evidence of your quick fuck.

“Council meeting went bad?” you asked, rubbing at your numbing forearms due to your husband’s forceful movements against the table he’d fucked you against. Seokjin briefly throws a sheepish look your way, guessing  you have finally figured out his nasty antics of de-stressing, but his beautiful face turns serious as he once again reminded of his responsibilities as king.

“Well with Minseok’s recent death, the dried-up lands in the far east, and an uprising rebellion in the south, I can’t say the meeting went particularly…peaceful,” Seokjin heaves a sigh and rests his hands on his knees.

Minseok was a trusted royal guard, serving Seokjin’s family for nearly all his life and had perished due to an attack during a visit to the southern city. While Minseok’s death caused a great loss in the palace, his blood symbolized the initial step towards an uprising, spurring on the southern troops even further.

With your back facing him, you felt remorseful as your hand subconsciously reaches for the south’s emblem given by your father, hidden beneath the thick collar of your hanbok – a harsh reminder that you were once from the southern palace – and yet you couldn’t do anything to help your king.

It was one thing being only half royalty and another being the only heir to the throne. After multiple tries, prayer movements, and endless offerings, the real queen of the south proved to be infertile and could not bear a child for the king. In the past however, a childless monarch proved to be an advantage to those who attempted to overthrow the throne. Hence your biological father, the king, decided that he needed to have an heir at once. However, the only other lady your dad would trust with such great feat is the head court lady, your mom, who became the king’s only concubine – ergo, your coming into this world.

Your father acknowledged you as his daughter the moment he heard your first cry as a newborn, much to the queen’s repressed opposition. She knew she had no other choice but to give in to your father’s recognition, but her display of hatred for you never stopped at your birth. Your life was an endless tale of narrow escapes from her atrocities.

On the bright side, you maintained a healthy relationship with your father, he taught you how to read and write, he showed you the ins and outs of the city, gave you your first archery lesson, and even taught you a thing or two about politics and diplomacy. You were well-founded for a girl your age, considering that women in your society were only perceived to be bearers of children and raisers of the young instead of hitting sack targets on a moving horse and being deployed on diplomatic affairs.

Life was almost perfect if it weren’t for your very promising antagonist of stepmother. The rest of the palace, your father included, regarded her as your stepmother, but she never came close to being a motherly figure in your life. Quite frankly, you knew she wanted you dead even before you grew a heart – probably the only reason why she wasn’t blessed with a child. The two-headed snake deserved it.

Unfortunately, you weren’t the only victim of her cruelty. As you grew up, you knew she was bound to get worse, it didn’t come as much of a shock when you heard of her plans to murder your father and your biological mother. What you didn’t expect though that the breakfast you’d shared with your father that morning was the last time you’ll ever see him.

You fled from the palace that night, bumping into Seokjin as you exited the gates of the palace. He recognizes your face from previous council meetings and have been acquainted with each other as members of royalty, but he’s never seen you in such a state of distress. Before he could ask you why you were running away from the palace at such hour, you mounted his horse and pleaded to him to take you anywhere else but your home – your previous home.

One look at your tear-stained face was all he needed and he turned his horse around, despite questioning looks he got from his guards. He had brought you back to the capital and took you in the palace. Soon friends turned to lovers and the rest is history.

Seokjin notices your silence and he’s come up from the edge of the bed to envelop you in his arms. “A frown isn’t fitting for a queen,” he takes your chin between his fingers and turns your face towards him. “What’s wrong, love?” he asks, confused by the frown drawn upon your face.

“I just…” you start off, but when your fingers find the cold metal of the necklace, you fall silent again. Seokjin sighs as he finally catches on your despondence and gives you a tighter hug and a fleeting kiss on the forehead.

For once in a long time, you felt like it was just the two of you again alone in the room, alone in the world. Just two lovers, no treacherous stepmothers, no responsibilities, no nation to take care of. Your mind races back to the memories of you sneaking out of the palace to your agreed rendezvous or walking to your secret garden to talk about your daily endeavors. Seokjin made this cruel world more bearable and you will always be eternally grateful for that. He would always shower you with the greatest support and understanding, fully aware of what you have been deprived of during your childhood.

Seokjin on one hand feels equally thankful to have you enter his life, to have you as his wife. He had always admired your knowledge in various things and he frequently shows fondness for your wit in a very remarkable way – like that one time he had brought you to a council meeting to share your ideas (a taboo in the culture – seeing as women weren’t cut in making political decisions) and called an advisor an imbecile for suggesting a huge increase in taxes when a fourth of the city was struggling with famine. Needless to say, Seokjin found the sight of you standing up to his advisors more than arousing so he had sent everyone home at once and two minutes after everyone had left, he already had you bent over his desk, fucking you into oblivion.

Your husband leaves shortly after taking a few scrolls from the shelves before inviting you to dinner, winking as he leaves your room, telling you that he has specially requested the kitchen to cook your favorite dish for dinner tonight. You take a bath during your husband’s absence, indulging yourself in a milk bath, while the servants scrub at your back and arms. As a child, the southern palace only afforded you cold baths with the heat in the south constantly unbearable but mainly because the queen was adamant on treating you badly. She’d made sure you regularly bathe in cold ones, even worse during the winter. You couldn’t keep count of the times you had to be rescued back to life by the court ladies after nearly shivering to death.

The servants take their leave as they’ve scrubbed most of the expanse of skin you’ve exposed for them to exfoliate and you sink further into the pool, a variety of petals floating around and about as you create ripples with your hands.

“My Queen,” a court lady bows her head as she enters your chambers. “The King requests your presence for the inauguration of the new king’s guards,” she informs, not meeting your eyes as you wear your undergarments. You give her a hum of approval and wait for the servants to finish braiding your hair so you could accompany your husband during the ceremony.

You can feel the pebbles under your shoes move with the steady beat of the drums. The inauguration was supposed to be held a few more months later but because of the death of Minseok, the ceremony had to be moved to an earlier date. You were about to turn the corner when the someone in torn, ragged clothes ran in front of you, your guards ushering you backwards to protection. With two watchmen already following the man, two from your group follow to see what the scurry is all about.

The remaining guards that are with you lead you towards the field quickly to evade any further commotion. When you reach where Seokjin is situated, he acknowledges you briefly, worry swimming in his eyes. You place a comforting hand on his to assure him that there is nothing to be worried about. Once you have settled in your seat, a guard comes up to Seokjin’s side and the drums stop. “Your Royal Highnesses, King Seokjin and the Queen.” Your husband raises a hand to acknowledge the crowd surrounding the field, all present to witness the ceremony.

“Let the inauguration of the new royal guards begin.”

The drums fall into a steady rhythm once again, men clad in red and white silk uniforms pile in groups of twenty. Applause falls within the crowd, hands busy clapping for the newly inducted protectors of the palace. You see a few girls displaying themselves by the corner where the guards enter the field. They mask their flirtatious looks under the guise of modesty, covering their powdered faces with fans while sending coquettish looks to the guards.

Seokjin lets out a chuckle when he follows your line of vision and you reply deftly “I don’t blame them. I’d definitely do the same when you’re in your uniform.” You try your best not to wink at your husband especially at a public gathering like this, but your witty effort to get him to stop judging you has proved to be effective. You know he is most likely going to punish you about this tonight and the idea already has you squirming in your seat.

“My King, may I present to you the new captain of the royal guards, Jung Jungkook of the east.” A man from the first row steps forward. “My King, my Queen.” He acknowledges your presence, bowing from the waist. Jung Jungkook drops to the ground, his weight resting on one leg. He draws his sword, plunges it to the ground – the sound of metal slicing through the soil ringing throughout the field. “I am Jung Jungkook from the Jung clan of the east. My father has served the royal family for many years and has perished terribly during the attack of the South. I am here to restore the honor to my family by serving your highness, to serve the capital, and to avenge my late father.” His head is hung low, yet he is breathing heavily, the weight of his emotions too heavy on his shoulders.

Seokjin leans forward, “Your father has fought well and there is no greater honor than to die for the safety of your countrymen. I am glad he has a son to continue the legacy of your family. Stand, Jung Jungkook, for I know your father’s soul is now at peace.” The man complies and speaks, “Long live King Seokjin, long live the capital!” The rest of the two hundred men follow suit. The citizens join in on the cheering but your eyes linger on the new captain and the faded scar on his left cheek.

The turmoil in the south has worsened during the past few weeks. You rarely see your husband nowadays, constantly trapped for hours on end inside the four walls of his office. You can feel the pressure of being the king taking its toll on him. The servants tell you that he barely touches his food and that your husband also always comes in late at night and leaves early at dawn to work. It’s bringing you great worry that Seokjin couldn’t properly take care of himself nowadays.  

Your attempts to aide him during these stressful times prove to be futile, especially with his damned advisors who keep on barring you from entering his office or attending the council meetings. It is believed anyways that the queen only tends to matters of the royal household and that women have no right to give counsel. Unfortunately for them, you are no ordinary queen nor are you just a queen. You are also the wife of your beloved husband and a handful of stubborn councilmen has never stopped you before.

While the royal advisors are busy wasting too much time on a singular issue, you went out on your own to witness the effects of the famine of the east. Most of the crops that were delivered throughout the country was produced in the east because of their healthy soil and the waters surrounding the city. When a month has passed and there were still no signs of rain in the east, you know this was going to cause a huge problem and eventually another predicament for Seokjin. You had lived long enough in the onerous south to witness problems like this turn into bigger ones.

You have made arrangements to visit the city and so far, your plan going smoothly as planned. You manage to sneak out of the royal seamstress’ room after paying her a decent amount of silver coins for a commoner’s dress. It’s getting late and your husband will be returning to your room soon so you trudge back a little faster just to make it in time. When you reach the back door to your room, you see two guards lounging stand up abruptly at your presence. “M-my q-queen,” he bows, not meeting your eyes. “It’s alright. Just don’t tell anybody.”

Seokjin enters the room just when you’re stood in front of the mirror, hands removing the pins from your head. He slides the wooden door gently and sends you a small smile through the reflection on your mirror. “Why don’t I help you with that?” You gently decline his offer, not wanting to bother your exhausted king with any more chores. It’s unfair how he is still impeccably handsome even with the weariness evident on his face. Seokjin still insists though, claiming that a king’s functions should not be an excuse to escape those of a husband’s. “And besides, I ought to know how to do this if we’ll have a daughter in the future.” The statement was supposed to be a genuine shot at what the future might hold but your body’s treacherous response is far from the innocence of Seokjin’s statement.

Just the thought of it has heat pooling in your abdomen. You haven’t had enough time in your hands to spend time to think about things like that, Seokjin being a newly-crowned king, more so as a newly-wedded couple.

Your husband notices the deep breath you take, his eyes slowly getting darker by the second. He takes the last golden pin from your braids, letting your hair fall into loose waves. You feel relieved when the strain on your scalp melts away in seconds – something that you should’ve been used to by now, considering that you have been royalty all your life, but nothing beats that fresh wave of relief when you free your hair from all the pins and ribbons. That’s why when Seokjin cards his fingers through your locks, you feel the rising of the small hairs at the back of your neck, such mundane action bordering on sensual.

He does this a few more times in silence, just combing through your hair gently, deeming that seeing you fall into such comfort like this is enough for him. His chaste intentions though are all thrown aside when you lean against him, your undone hanbok falls from your shoulder, exposing the skin there in all its glory. Your husband takes all your hair and transfers it on your left shoulder and you tilt your head to the same side, giving him space where he could pepper all his kisses on.

He murmurs sweet nothings against your skin while sending fleeting kisses from your ear’s helix, to your cheek, you jawline then down to your shoulders. “Little you and me running around…” he murmurs while pushing the rest of your hanbok off your body. It doesn’t take much effort, the silken cloth sliding down easily and now you’re just left in your undergarments.

“Would you like that, my queen?” Seokjin asks, fingers thumbing the ribbon that’s keeping together the last layer of clothing you have on. It takes only one breathy ‘yes’ from you and the cloth covering your intimacies falls altogether, leaving no trace of modesty.

He cups both breasts in each palm, squeezing and kneading the flesh. Your nipples are firm, already hardened by the worshipping kisses he places all over. He trails a finger along your jaw, turning your face toward him. His lips meet yours, plump lips pressing gently against your own. When you figure he’s about to pull away, he grips your ass and you gasp, pushing his tongue into your mouth.

You moan into the kiss, your heart thudding hard against your ribcage. It’s been too long since you had seen your husband so… sensual. Usually, you’re both in a rush with the sole intent of getting some release but tonight, it seems as if Seokjin is determined to take his time in claiming all of you in the most intimate of ways, slowly but surely like it’s the last night of his life.

Seokjin savors every moan, every whimper as his deft fingers roam your body. He loves every curve and dip; how soft and taut it is at the same time. The milk baths you’ve always indulged in and your younger days of archery and horse riding had definitely done you good. He tries to etch them all into his memory though he knows flashes of images of you in his brain could never give justice to the reality of having you in his arms.

His fingers reach your cunt and he cups it, making you lean further against him for support. You feel the fine sheen of sweat of his torso on his back and for a moment you wonder how he’s managed to take his to take his top off without taking a hand off you. He pulls you away from your thoughts when he tugs you closer to him, shamelessly grinding his erection against your ass. He finds your clit easily through memory, rubbing the sensitive nub, fingers moving slowly in circular motions.

“S-seokjin please,” you beg, knowing you’re nearly there but still so far away, far too greedy to orgasm on clitoral stimulation alone. You needed him inside you. Now. “Speak up, my love,” he orders, shallowly dipping a finger in your cunt and withdrawing it just as quick. “Please. Y-you. Need y- “You’re rendered breathless by his teasing, your hand traveling to tug at his hair. “You want me to put a baby in you, hmm?” He finally pushes a finger in. “You’d love that don’t you? Having to carry the next heir to the throne inside you?” Another finger breaches you, Seokjin chuckling when you let out a loud gasp.

He nips at the shell of your ear, reminding you of the presence of the guards outside in a low whisper. Your hand instantly moves to cover your mouth but Seokjin grabs you by the wrists. “Who told you to cover your mouth, hmm? We both know you want the whole palace to hear how filthy their queen is.” Seokjin must admit, the whole idea is just as pleasing to him as it is to you. You were practically squelching when his fingers quicken the pace, your orgasm coming to you at breakneck speed. The feeling of his fingers toying with your cunt too much for you to handle that you are unable to stop your lover’s name fall like a prayer on your lips. Your whole body trembles in his grip, legs threatening to give in. A whimper escapes you when he pulls his fingers out, sending him a glare through the mirror. You were so, so close.

“My love, as much as I enjoy seeing you wrecked under my touch through the mirror, we have to take this to the bed.” He gives you a chaste kiss on the cheek and tugs at your arm, but you stand your ground. You wag a finger at him, ‘tsk’-ing at his impatience. Not until he’d have a taste of his own medicine.

You let your finger trail along his torso, tracing the outlines of his abdominals. Imitating your husband’s  earlier torturous ministrations, you take your time with him, reveling in how much you’ve affected him – how his breathing is getting more labored by the second. You run a finger along the length of his shaft still covered by his pants. He’s already hard, you reckon, feeling it slightly twitch under your touch.

Slowly, you lower down on your knees, tugging his pants down along with your descent. The sight of his cock makes you wet your lips, too eager to please. “My love, you don’t have to,” his hands hover yours that are resting on his hips. It’s not that he didn’t want your mouth on his cock but he just wanted to drawl out this evening for as long as he could. Frankly, he couldn’t afford to release in your mouth without having felt your velvety walls first.

“I want to.” Not wanting to wait any longer, you tentatively place a kiss on the bulbous head, making Seokjin gasp at the contact. You get bolder, gathering some of the precum that has gathered on the tip spreading it along his length your tongue. Using the armrests as leverage, you straighten your back and finally take him in your mouth. Seokjin deems he’ll never get used to this feeling. You vaguely hear him groan above you, but you’re far too busy pushing his shaft farther inside.

You briefly gaze at him through your eyelashes. It’s unfair, you reckon, that even when your lamps cast this golden glow to only one side of his face, he’s just as ethereal as under the light of day. You take him in your mouth as far as you can. When Seokjin throws his head back in pleasure with his wonderfully thick neck on display only for you to see, it ignites a carnal desire in you, so you push yourself further. When he finally hits the back of your throat, you swallow and your husband chokes on air, his knuckles turning white as he grips onto the armrests.

It’s an arduous task, having to try and take control of your breathing as you pleasure your husband. You move up then down slowly until you find a steady rhythm. You feel your eyes water with the pace until his chest starts heaving and you know he’s nearing his climax. “N-no. P-please,” your husband pleads, each word brokenly spoken. Tugging at your hair slightly, he pries you off his mouth, releasing a sigh of relief when you take your mouth off him.

“Bed now.” With your knees still sore from kneeling too long, it takes you some time to get up. Impatiently, the moment you get one of your knees off the ground he hooks his arm below them and lifts you off the ground, carrying you bridal style. “Stop trying to stall.” Seokjin huffs, his lips forming a pout. You giggle at his cuteness, of course even at a time like this, he manages to make you smile like a kid with candy.

He lays you gently on the bed, your hair fanning out on the pillows. He caresses your face with the pads of his fingers and you find yourself leaning against his touch. “My queen,” he sighs, “Your beauty is unrivaled. Truly.” Your lips meet when he closes the distance between the two of you. He stays like that for a moment, his swollen lips placed on top of yours until he swipes his tongue against your bottom lip. You fervently kiss each other, feeling yourself slowly getting lost in the kiss. When he pulls away, your eyes pry open again only to see your husband’s teary ones.

“Seokjin-ie, are you okay? What’s the matter?” He shakes his head, replying, “You’re just so beautiful. I’m the luckiest man alive to have you as my wife.” Your face crumples at his words and you give him another kiss. “How could you possibly think that when so many other women who vying for my position right now? Both literally and figuratively. You’re glad when you get a chuckle out of Seokjin. “As much as I want to argue about who’s the luckier one, I have a more pressing problem. And it’s getting really painful, so please…” His lips close in on one of your breasts, your hand flying up to pull at his hair.

Once again, you’re a moaning mess beneath Seokjin. You’re whining, begging for more than the assault he’s doing on your breasts. He doesn’t waste time in complying with your whims, your legs spreading apart when he shifts his position above you. He braces himself on one arm and you hiss as he swipes against your folds, taking some of the wetness on his palm and rubbing it onto his cock. When he pushes slowly against your entrance, you whimper as he gradually sinks into you. Gods, you don’t think you’ll ever get used to this, to him.

When he’s fully sank into you to the hilt, he pauses, knowing that you’ll need a moment for the pain to subside into pleasure. Seokjin places kisses your shoulders as he waits for you to adjust to the feeling. You push your hips up, encouraging him to move. Dragging his cock out slowly, he pushes back down just as languidly. “Jin, please,” you beseech, goading him to go faster. The moment the word escapes your lips, Seokjin begins pounding into you relentlessly. He hastily places a pillow under your hips to angle yours better. The next thrust he gets in has you mewling, each stroke easily rubbing up against your g-spot.

Your thighs begin quivering, every fiber of your body ablaze with each plunge of your husband’s hips. Seokjin feels your impending orgasm with your cunt beginning to pulsate against his cock, and he moves one of his hands between your thighs and starts to toy vigorously with your clit.

“Fuck!” you scream, fisting the sheets that now haphazardly dangling from the bed. Your high hits you so strong, your pussy tightening, clamping around Seokjin. His thrusts begin to stutter as you continue to milk his cock. With one final push, Seokjin cums, releasing ropes of cum inside you. He stays on top of you for a moment, too exhausted and worn out to move an inch. Also, because he wishes that this time it finally gets you pregnant, that your earlier inclination to the idea of having a baby inside you is as enthralling as it is to him.

Seokjin finally pulls out of you with a small grunt, elbows that have been holding up his weight finally give in, breathing heavily as he falls to your side.

He hadn’t meant to stay this long.

In fact, when he heard the first moan that fell from your lips, he had sent the rest of the guards to go on patrol to give you and your husband the much-needed privacy. He had intended to keep lookout from the front of the hanok. With one more corridor to clear out before leaving, he took his steps with caution, knowing that this passage was the one next to your room. The palace’s wooden walls will never be thick enough to hide the sounds of pleasure. His ears are already ringing with the faint sound of your moans but there was one section where the sweet sound was most audible. The door to your room was slightly open, the light from your lamps passing through the narrow slit.

He tries to push away the temptation, reminding himself that he has other duties to attend to… right?

Surely, the rebellious troops would have been subdued before they reach the palace…right?

Ultimately, he can’t leave with you sounding so desperate and broken…right?

He knew his resolve was breaking with every step he took nearer towards the thin beam of light.  He takes the final step with bated breath, wincing when the wood creaks under his weight. He lets out a shaky exhale when he finally peeks through the crevice. Your bed is situated right across from where he’s watching – the whole scene like a live show from a festival. He knows this is wrong, that what happens inside the four walls of your chambers is none of his business but when he sees the king flip you and take you from behind, his lips part, suddenly out of breath like he’s the one pounding into you.  

The voyeur continues to watch the whole spectacle with an unrelenting gaze. He watches the unsuspecting royals get lost in their own world while he lingers in perverse amusement. The strain in his silk pants is getting painful, uncomfortable too when the tip of his cock brushes against the wet patch on the cloth. He reproaches himself for his lack of manners tonight but if this mischief shall reward him with a release later on, then he shall remain here, unperturbed.

Moments later Seokjin’s hips stutter and he feels his own hands lose rhythm as well. Your loud moans fill the room as you reach your high, your husband following. His hand moves faster than before, white spurts of cum coating his hand not long after. He shivers when he pulls his pants back up, the silk proving to be too much for the sensitive tip of his cock. When his eyes revert back to the crevice, he sees Seokjin trace patterns on your back while the both of you murmur softly in each other’s arms. Your husband gives you a chaste kiss, lips closing in on the shell on your ear as he whispers something that makes you giggle. He takes this as his cue to leave, hoping that no other guard has lingered around long enough to see him leave the house.

Fortunately, no one sees the dazed captain walk out of the hanok in the middle of the night.

You are momentarily awakened from a fleeting kiss placed on your cheek, the back of your hands rubbing at your drooping eyelids. Body still sore from your activities last night, you blindly reach out for the blue cloak in front of you as you call out your husband’s name. “I hadn’t meant to wake you from your slumber, my love. Go back to sleep.” He strokes your hair gently while humming a soft melody to lull you back to your slumber.

There’s an ache on his chest when he watches sleep take over you once more, soft snores escaping your lips. Seokjin wonders if he would get to see you this peaceful one more time. You shift in your sleep, the blanket revealing purplish marks littered across your chest. Normally, this would’ve sent all his blood pumping south but with the emotion weighing on his shoulders, all he’s thinking about is engraving your beauty into his memory.

The present disposition in his hands had monopolized his time and because of this he knew he had been neglecting you these past few weeks. He wasn’t able to check up on you, ask how your day went, or even join supper, hence your intimacies last night.  Although your husband knew that after all these years together, you were never one to demand affection because you were well aware of his duties as ruler of a nation. Funnily enough, it was he who yearned for that most of time, while you would remind him of his obligations with a chortling intonation.

Usually, you would push him away when he tries to lavish you with kisses even with the guards and court ladies present, but he knew deep inside that you secretly enjoyed them, cheeks turning a rosy red every time he teases you about it. Albeit being born into royalty, you were treated like a slave by your own step-mother so Seokjin knew it would have taken some time before he had successfully lured you out of your shell. And he knew he had forever to show you the love that you were deprived of. Or did he now?

He recalls the time you had both met in your secret rendezvous. It was a garden exhibiting the most gorgeous fusion of pink and green, cultivated to perfection by Seokjin himself and of course with the help of a few chosen gardeners. Included in the garden was a narrow passage with water directly flowing from the Gaeun River. The secluded site was a testament to Seokjin’s love for the color pink. Flowers of all shades of blush are scattered among the lush green grass, from Azaleas to Carnations to Peonies. ‘Most are from foreign lands’ he informs, carefully plucking out a flower and handing one to you. A blush instantly colors your cheeks at this and Seokjin finds it most endearing, unable to resist teasing you. “You seem to blend in just fine with my flowers,” he observes, poking your cheeks, “but you stand out the most.”

Amongst the rosy hued shrubs and mossy rocks, on a small slope stood a singular cherry blossom tree - your most favorite feature of all. Cherry blossoms had always been known to symbolize the transience of life and rebirth. True to your ancestors’ beliefs, this special tree was tangible proof of the metaphor. The tree had witnessed quite a number of your most cherished moments in life. This was where Seokjin brought you when you broke down into tears after escaping the southern palace, this was where he first pecked you on the cheek, and this same tree witnessed Seokjin’s humble request for your hand in marriage.

Regret weighs heavily on him. You were the only constant reality he had in this capricious life. You had been nothing but perfect, always by his side no matter what. Having to bid his farewell like this broke his heart but if he properly did so, it would probably break his heart all the more. Your husband had already made up his mind – he is to leave for the South before the dawn breaks.

Seokjin was hanging onto that small sliver of hope that a discussion on the dilemma may change their minds. The situation in the southern city had inevitably worsened but he had to try. He could be very persuasive if he wanted to, sure, but you always knew it wouldn’t work. Not by a long shot. You made sure to remind him of that fact. That’s why you never supported the idea of visiting the city especially at a time of agitation like this. The southerners are men honed by war and they are not called the nation’s keepers for nothing. They are willing to sacrifice lives rather than heed diplomacy. It had proved beneficial in the past when foreigners wanted to colonize your country, but with a turmoil conceived by its own countrymen, these people are all the more fueled to fight for what they believe in.

Then again, this was his decision. He had to try. He was willing to risk everything for his nation, even if it meant that this might be the last time he’ll be seeing your face. He wanted to be selfish, just this once, to give in to the matters of the heart, but he knew he couldn’t. If he did, then all his parent’s teachings would have been for nothing. Being born into royalty couldn’t have meant anything. Being the king then would lose its meaning.

With tears brimming at the corner of his eyes, he retrieves a scroll, his brush, and an ink block. ‘This all seems unreal’, Seokjin reels. He only takes out the three when he’s making a new proclamation or with pronouncements usually related to the duties of a king. You two could only stay apart for so long and at the end of the day you’d always find yourselves each other’s arms. Not once did he imagine having to write you a letter, let alone one bidding you farewell.

Patches of tears soften different spots on the previously coarse scroll. With dawn fast approaching, Seokjin ends his letter with a lingering kiss on the paper. He retrieves a flower that he’s plucked from the garden and places it together with the scroll he’s left on the bedside table. Seokjin kisses you on the cheek one last time, “Goodbye, my queen.”

© joontier 2020. All rights reserved. 

[kiiraeth]

departure nocturne - takami keigo

pairing: takami keigo/hawks x reader

warnings: angst,character death,i think like a brief mention of blood

words: 1480

a/n: ngl i listened to the Giselle act II pas de deux on repeat while writing most of this, so filled with sorrow and despair, yet still strangely hopeful. it hits different with this fic yall. also huge thank you to the lovely @jmeyerss for beta reading this for me, you a real one ily. still kind of hate it, i’m not proud of this piece haha

Keigo knew that you were the one, but he was never quite sure how to tell you that. The man knew that in selfishly loving you he had put you in danger and he knew that he didn’t deserve you. Even so, he couldn’t bring himself to leave that love behind. It was something so wonderful and dear to him that he had never felt before, and he knew he would do anything to protect it.

He also knew that you worried for him constantly. You were both pro heroes, but his hero work often seemed much more taxing and treacherous than yours, from what he was allowed to tell you.

But even so, you had stuck with him. You stayed by his side even when he told you not to, you stayed with him in his lowest moments, when memories of a dark past plagued his mind. When that happened, and nothing felt secure in his head, you were always a constant. His adoration of you always stayed the same.

This is what he thought of as he lay battered on the hard wooden floor after his battle with Dabi. Even with wounds littering his body and blood caked to his skin, you were the only thing he could think of. Even with the life slowly flickering out of his eyes, he desperately hoped that he’d get to gaze upon your face one more time. But he supposed that was wishful thinking now.

——————————————————————————

You quickly made your way through piles of rubble that filled the area around you. The hero costume you wore had definitely seen better days and you had multiple wounds left coated with blood, but none of that mattered to you. The only thing that was running through your mind was finding Keigo as soon as possible.

You and the other pro heroes had won the battle against Shigaraki and the League of Villians with the help of the Yuuei students, and now, you frantically searched for your lover amongst the wrecked buildings surrounding you. Your voice had become rough from yelling Keigo’s name in a futile attempt to gain any type of response from him.

You had still remained hopeful that Keigo was ok, but that hope quickly began to dwindle as you peeked your head through the door of a nearly demolished building. Your eyes widened at the scene before and your heart dropped. Keigo lay battered in the middle of the room, his body littered with burns and open wounds and his brilliant vermillion wings were no longer proudly perched upon his back.

You shook yourself out of your shocked stupor and dashed towards him, trying your best to not to trip over the rubble from an obvious destructive fight.

“Keigo! Keigo please, can you hear me love? Please please you have to talk to me!” your voice had already began to shake with emotion as you fell to your knees and cradled your lover close to you.

Keigo’s eyes weakly fluttered open to meet yours, and as they did he found the smallest bit of energy to give you a frail smile, a stark difference from the ones he usually gave you.

He mustered up the energy to quietly speak to you “Hey there baby bird, are you okay? you kinda look like a mess.”

you rolled your eyes brimming with tears and gave a small laugh as you placed your hand to the side of his face. “Of course, you’re here covered in burns and blood and you say i’m the mess, how very Hawks of you.”

He let out a soft laugh which quickly dissolved into a fit of coughs, to which your eyes filled with worry and fear again.

“Hey hey, you’re gonna… you’re gonna be alright ok? i’m going to find help or- or- god I don’t know, please, what can I do to help you Keigo?”

His somber eyes gazed into your grief-stricken ones. He could tell you were still trying to keep a strong and calm front, but he knew you too well. He knew that there was sorrow screaming behind those eyes, and he also knew he wanted nothing more in that moment than to see your eyes filled with joy again.

But unfortunately, he had the sense you wouldn’t be feeling any joy in this moment with him.

As Keigo’s heartbeat began to reluctantly slow, yours only sped up as you began to panic even further.

“Hey baby please, you have to stay awake ok? You can’t leave, you can’t leave please! I’m begging you, stay with me!” you pleaded with him frantically.

“Hey, birdie, you know we can’t do anything, alright? We knew this was going to happen eventually, and i’m so sorry that this is how you have to see me before i go.”

You shook your head and screwed your eyes shut at his words. “No no, stop it! you’re going to be just fine, someone’s going to come help us and- a-and we’ll go to the hospital and you’ll be ok! You c-can’t leave us like this Kei, you can’t leave me like this! I-I need you, please!”

His slow-moving heart began to break even further at your words, but he knew that there wasn’t anything either of you could do, so he did his best to reach an unsteady hand up to caress your face,

“I love you so much birdie. You’re going to be alright, ok? Promise me that you’ll be ok for me, I just want you to be happy, even if I won’t be there to see it.”

You let out a broken sob and paused before weakly nodding your head. you leaned forward and desperately kissed keigo, in a final show of how much you treasured and loved him, before you never got the chance to again. When you pulled away from him you tearfully gazed into his eyes as they began to close.

As Keigo’s body became limp in your arms, you began to weep freely into his still chest and distraughtly grab onto him. You looked up to see his jacket not far from the both of you, and you reached over and grabbed the jacket to drape over him. As you did you heard the slight crinkle of paper from one of the pockets.

Through your tears, you dug through the pockets of the jacket only to find a slightly crumpled letter inside. You examined the paper to find your name written in familiar handwriting on the front, handwriting you may not ever get to see again, and you shakily broke the red wax seal to unfold the paper and read the contents it held.

‘Dear birdie,

I know I’ve never really been the best with talking about my emotions, so I figured I might write this because I want you to know how much I really cherish and love you with all of my heart.

I never ever in my whole life thought that I would find something as precious as you, and I never thought I would be deserving of you either. Most days I’m still shocked that you’ve stuck with me all this time, but I can’t begin to tell you how thankful I am for that. I never thought I would love something as much as I love you. I have felt freer with you than I ever did in the sky and safer with you next to me than with my wings around me. You’ve really completed me and made me a better person.

I promise, that when all of this war stuff is over, when we’re safe, I will buy you a big house that we can live in together. We’ll grow that garden that you’ve always wanted, and we’ll fill it with the most beautiful flowers that you’ve ever seen, flowers that remind me of you. I’ll make sure your favourite tea is always stocked and I’ll never start a new tv show without you. I promise, we’ll be happy together.

I love you, so much birdie, please never forget that.

Yours, Keigo Takami’

You held a shaky hand over your mouth as tears coursed down your face at the words held in the letter. You draped your body over Keigo’s and threw your arms around his shoulders, as you pleaded for him to come back to you.

“Kei, please, please we can still do these things right? You said we would create a garden together, you promised! We can still be happy, please!”

He was gone and you knew this, but you didn’t want to accept it. This was the man you desperately wanted to spend the rest of your life with, to wake up in the morning with, to live a wonderful life with. But loving him had always been treacherous, and you hadn’t cared, but you saw now that perhaps a happy ending was never in your future.

[bibibuckleyy]

my thoughts on ‘The taking of Dispach 9-1-1′

this was SUCH a good episode from start to finish! *pulls out a slide show* Now i’ll show you breaking down every. single. scene-

jk lmao...unless?

spoilers below the cut!

lord. have. mercy.

these hoes are givin me major heist vibes

tiffany bby ur the driver but for me to acknowledge you as such you better be Letty Ortiz good hun

wow these thugs are a lot my organized than i first thought like i know they was carryin guns but i aint know they was packin this much like damn

Oceans 8 who?

so i wanna know where they just...got a cop car???

OH HELL NAH Y’ALL BEST NOT MESS WITH TERRY

I MEAN ANA MAY BE HIS SISTER

AND  SHE MAY BE MAKIN MOVES ON EDDIE 

BUT IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE TERRY FLORES SO YOU GET YOUR GUN AWAY FROM SUNSHINE BBY

it’s kinda funny rewatching this scene when you know what’s about to go down

like i’m cacklin like ‘oh shooooot dramaaaa’

but i’m also like ‘SOMEONE GRAB JOSH AND RUN’

“temporary maintenance, happens all the time” cool cool cool 

i’m not freakin out you’re freakin out

josh and maddie are like friend goals i love their dynamic like yoooo

hi yes could you please get that gun away from terry’s head i would really appreciate it.

OMG SECURITY DUDE NOOOO

wow ur like the only line of defense in the dispatch center and they just kicked ur ass

is this where our tax dollars are goin??

fly high josh’s mug, fly high

that absolute look of fear on his face tho, still breaks my heart

josh russo defense squad post up homies

“i love you, howie” nope nope nope didn’t like it the second time either

when that gun went off

LET ME TELL YOU

i just,,,waited for the blood to start comin out of terry

thank god it wasn’t him

good scene lmaooo 9-1-1 writers i hate you all lmao lmao

“bees are the least of your troubles here, sweetheart” I HATE YOU DUDE

someone call mama grant please

“we’ve got dispatch” i do not like this ma’am i’d like to speak to the manager

“you’ll shoot us” man shut the hell up-

“no, we’ll shoot the person next you you” this dude is insane

lookin like mr.clean’s evil cousin LMAOOOOO

“you only do something like this so you can do something...worse”

um whAT-

“you’re being paranoid, she’s fine” CHIMNEY NO NO NO

i don’t think i’ve ever thrown this much popcorn at my tv in my life

as chimney said “don’t do it man” just picture a 5′5 lightskinned girl tripping over her blanket while yelling “DO IT CHIM, DO IT!” and you’ll have me

“sorry, we are experiencing a high call volume” BITCH MORE LIKE A HIGH CRIME VOLUME SOMEBODY GET MAMA GRANT DAMNIT-

*screams* BUUUUUUUUCK 

HI BBY

ooh nice shirt, i guess pink isn’t the only color that suits ya

he looks good in all the colors

whole damn snaaaaack

not to be an idiot on main but seriously, who watches the watchmen?

“i miss like an earthquake or something?” lmao chim is a whole vibe

“wait....why are you calling 9-1-1, is everything ok?” paired with that cute adorable concerned face he made is making me cry ok we don’t deserve buck T-T

“she’s at the call center, what could happen?” AT LOT ACTUALLY

OH THANK YOU JESUS IT’S ATHENA FUCKIN FINALLY 

*cries* mama grant you won’t believe the day i’ve had

“he’s my husband” LMAOOOOO WHAT

whoa tiffany we’ve already had our fair share of mail bombs here that bet’ not be what i think it is

THE PACKAGE IS VIBRATING AND BLINKING TAKE COVER-

ohhhhhhhhhh

it’s just takin out the security systems lmao 

“technical difficulties” BITCH MORE  LIKE CRIMINAL DIFFICULTIES

“i bet this woman really thinks you’re...worthwhile.” JOSH BBY DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS EVERYONE LOVES YOU

ahaha thanks i did not need those flashbacks it hurt enough the first time 

“a woman called about an omelet, i dispatched an officer”

“to the restaurant?”

“not exactly”

???

“i tried calling josh, but no answer” aww josh and buck are friendssssss :)

JOSH HAS BEEN ADOPTED BY THE FIREFAM PASS IT ON

:0

JOSH YOU GENIUS

YOU SMART SMART CINNAMON ROLL

MAMA GRANT IT’S TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES

“nO NO CHIMNEY DON’T HANG UP!” i shouldn’t have laughed so hard

oh great he’s hastily grabbing his jacket. he’s about to do something rash and irresponsible

....someone call eddie.

that’s some good heist music right there

the bad guys look stressed....good.

“you’re here so i can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t do anything foolish” BUT YOU LEFT BUCK

OK BUCK I LOVE YOU BBY

BUT YOU HAVE THIS HABIT OF TURNIN INTO SPECIAL AGENT 007 REAL FAST WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN TROUBLE MAN

LIKE

HE’S THE ‘EVERYONE BEFORE ME’ MEMBER OF THE FIREFAM

mama grant i ain’t questionin your authority or nun but like???

WHY WOULD YOU NOT KEEP AN EYE ON BUCK TOO?

HE’S THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE TO DO SOMETHIN STUPID

thats some reckless drivin there buckaroo

buck who were you tryna fool tho

athena only knows one golden retriever dude in this city who drives a grey and black jeep

“ok now, don’t be mad” LMAOOOOOOOO

HANDS DOWN ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

HE KNEW HIS MOM WAS PISSED TOO LMAOOOO

athena’s look is sending meeeeee 😂😂

omg my god😭😂

“hey buck”

“...hey chim”

athena has some dumbass kids yo

the best part is, she knows it

the way mr. clean broke his neck when dude said ‘police cruiser’ LMAOOOO

“and if it’s not normal?”

“we’ll find out”

*blasts boss bitch*

i love the way buck is kinda concerned for his mom tho

and athena’s just like ‘it’s no sweat sweetie i do this every day’

“shoot her”

BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO

YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH

I’LL TELL YOU THAT

“shoot her, now”

try her bitch, see what happens to yo ass. 

the 118

the call center

the entire fandom 

we will collectively end you

“we got a report of a code 77″

THANK GOD THAT GOT ATHENA OUT OF THERE

what is a code 77 you say?

“ambush, proceed with caution”

well it sure nuff aint indecent exposure

*boss bitch keeps playing cause that was super smart for her to give out a code 77*

“maddie is smart, she can take care of herself until help gets there”

HELL YEA SHE CAN

SHE KICKED DOUG’S ASS SHE’LL KICK YOURS TOO

“they’re not gonna wanna leave behind a room full of witnesses”

i’m-i’m fine, i swear-

“killing people, your solution to every problem”

excuse me? do i hear morals??

they’re really fighting each other

they some grade a stupid right there 

there’s no way they are pullin this off

terry

terry what are you doing

TERRY

RUN TERRY RUN GO GO GO

OH SHIT

JOSHHHHHHHH

i thought they were gonna shoot terry

BUT JOSH CAME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH

wowwwwww dispatch is a lot more badass than i thought

these dudes are hard core

OH

OH JOSH NO BBY

THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURT

aii square tf up mr. clean we don’t hit josh here and you gon have to pay for that one

the way everyone is just quietly sobbing tho

it saddens me

“I need another thirty minutes”

i’m really enjoying watching this dude’s plan crumble around him

swat posted up aii i see yall

“we’ll try to get eyes in a damn windowless room”

well when you put it that way it sounds like this is hopeless

“i’m sorry i thought you were crazy”

“i’m sorry i wasn’t”

wow i don’t think i was supposed to laugh at that

and chim bein concerned for maddie is literally one if the best things ever y’all.

completely unrelated note, anybody else see bad boys for life?

“yeah i’m ok, my ears are just ringing a little” with the TEARS and the SNIFFLES and him SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN JOSH IS TOO PURE FOR THIS 

“why do you think we asked for so many RA units?” BITCH I KNOW YOU FUCKIN LYIN

for those of y’all that ain’t kno, RA units are rescue ambulance units

way to reassure people, lady

it’s like she said ‘everyone might be lightly shot by the time this is all over’

“so you are worried. it makes sense, cause all your friends keep dissappearing are they even in the same building?” WITH THAT LOOK OF STRAIGHT SPITE DAMN MADDIE BUCKLEY, DAMNNN

we stan the BAMF BUCKLEYS

“oh my god, LINDA??” lo key thought this was real for a second

“latex! is there latex in your gloves?” greg come on man you planned a heist you can’t be this stupid

SURPRISE! LINDA IS ALLERGIC TO BEES

ENJOY YOUR EPINEPHRINE ASSHOLE

OH

OH WOW

WOW DISPATCH

Y’ALL JUST-

WOW

EVERYONES GOT GUNS AND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDDD

GIVE IT UP FOR DISPATCH 

you know it’s really funny, cause tiffany ain’t nowhere to be found

“next one goes in your head” OOOOOOOOOOOH SHE’S A BOSS ASS BITCH BROOO YESSSSSSS

(i know, two different songs, but ya gotta admit, it applies)

“you don’t get to die” 

i just-

hands down, most powerful line in the whole episode.

it’s an odd form of vengeance, saving the man that attacked you multiple times from the release of death

 that’s what it would’ve been tho

a release

he would’ve died, and he wouldn’t of had to pay for any of his actions

but instead, josh saved his sorry ass

so he gets to pay for this in the land of the living

the best revenge, actually

and, josh saved a life

he’s worthwhile

“i’m not goin back” well i knew mr. clean was gonna die from the beginning sooooooo

“we’ve got dispatch”  and it’s finally over

i’m kinda bummed that we didn’t get to see SEAL!buck or the rest of the firefam but we got  BAMF!dispatch and that was enough lmao

kudos to those off duty dispatches as well, like y’all just walked past the dead body and moved on from the whole hostage situation to do your already stressful job

CHIM’S FACE WHEN HE SEES MADDIE I AM SOBBING

THEY SAID MADNEY RIGHTS Y’ALL😭😭😭

this hug is everythinggggg 

lo key buck watching from afar breaks my heart ahaha

“she already has everything she needs”

....this is tea for another day, but...

buck, you do know people need you as much as you need them, right?

....right?

still not over that hug tho

ayeeee wassup bobby!

how was the camping trip i was extremely against?

oooooh i love the crime recaps!

i may or may not have been like buck in the bank episode when he said ‘i’m some confused, can you start over’

...ahem....

“wait....you didn’t round her up too?”

ok listen....

while i don’t condone stealing and and the extreme amount of violence they used,

i do condone outsmarting men that think less of you because you are a woman

you are a boss tiffany, and i’m actually kind of sad you got caught

“tiffany was the real mastermind” can i just.....

*BLASTS BOSS BITCH FROM THE ROOFTOPS CAUSE WOMEN OWNED THIS EPISODE! THEY WERE SO DAMN BADASS*

thanks 9-1-1 writers for that, btw. 

gotta admit, as much as they rip out our hearts and stomp on em, they know what they are doin

jake you shady shady bitch

ngl tho both plans were solid 

maybe if it was done completely by women it would’ve worked :)

“looks  like your trip’s been delayed...by about 5 to 15 years” athena you got the best lines yo

jake f’ed up the other plan too lmaoo

like i said, if it was all women, they would’ve pulled this off

and they end it with madney

gosh i loved this episode

So! These were my thoughts on 3x14! Let me know what you think, and hit up my ask box if you want me to post my thoughts on another episode! Later taters!

Oh yeah, if you liked this you can find my thoughts on ‘Pinned’ here!

[americasmarauders]

OKAY, let's talk about Brazil.

If you're a follower of mine, you know I talk about my country all the fucking time, whether I'm ranting and hating on it or just plain saying yall should see how awesome it is. Today, Imma explain something that happened today that may be the beginning of much much darker times in my country.

Unlike all the other countries in the world where private colleges are usually better and people seek it for their diploma, here in Brazil the public universities are the best. And not public like in the US where you still have to pay tuition, no, I'm talking the best college education you're gonna get FOR FREE. You pay your taxes, you pass the test, you choose your college and you have your 4+year education completely out of fees.

So, you'd think in a normal country people would value this, look at these universities (both federal and state universities) as their pride and joy: places where better professionals are formed, researches for vaccines, museums and shit ton of other super important stuff happens would be protected and bettered, right?

NOT IN BRAZIL.

You see public universities are seen as places of job hangers. What do I mean by that? Hundreds of employees paid by the government that have no objective functions other than getting paid and do nothing. Which may be true in VERY FEW cases. Other than that, our universities are seen as places where people do nothing, go there to study and never leave with a diploma, living off the government money to smoke weed, have sex and parteeeeeeeey.

You see, while the sex, weed and parties are true, as a student of a public university I can tell that that is not all we do. If not there is a very small percentage of our university life. Anyway that's a rant for another time.

Today, a very very important federal university announced that they would be closing their doors. UFRJ (Federal University of Rio de Janeiro) is the oldest University in our country, the Portuguese Emperor founded ir in like 1808 when they came to Brazil the first time to never go back to Portugual. It would like Harvard just deciding to close its doors.

They are closing their door due to lack of investment. The federal government plagued by the imaginary that universities are incubators of future communists and weed smokers cut their funds so much, for so many years that their just closing. They can't pay for anything, security, water bills, light bills, nothing.

That mot only means shutting down 2 vaccines for COVID studies, but several hospitals and museums. Because the government did not care enough to pay our education.

It is not a problem exclusive to the current administration, in fact governments since 2004 have been cutting their funds (funds of all federal colleges) while the Universities receive more and more students. But it is very daunting that during one of our most tyrannical government since the fall of the military dictatorship in 1984, a public university, a place where science and truth prevail, is closing their doors.

Now, after this news, other federal universities are threatening to close down for good. And that prospect is even scarier.

[discordderpy]

HEY YALL IDK IF YOU KNEW THIS BUT-

In Japan, their population is declining at a decently quick rate since they have low birthing rates and very low immigration. Now this may not make sense now but stay with me!!

Due to the factors above and the fact that during ww2 and the after math of multiple bombing and fires that destroyed a lot of homes, they had to rebuild very quickly in the 50's/60's. This caused a lot of shitty houses and when earthquakes hit a lot more shitty housing lost. Ya still with me?

THIS along with the fact that it is cheaper, property tax wise, to have a house then an empty lot has left a lot of homes abandoned. Along with the cheaper side of things, many elderly die in their houses and have no one left to claim the property, leaving the land to the government. They, as explained above, normally leave the house on the property for tax and money reasons. After all, why hire and pay a demolition team and then hire and pay another huge assortment of architects, construction workers, AND code enforcement to make sure it is all up to code,(earthquakes remember?) All while paying extreme land taxes while it's worked on, only to sell it for a fraction of the price?

I HOPE YOU'RE STILL HERE CAUSE NOT ONLY THAT BUT!!!!! Since a lot of codes and regulations change with every disaster (roughly every 10 years) this makes houses and other buildings deemed "worthless" as it would cost more to get them up to code for commercial selling. The average age of demolished houses in Japan is only 30 years old, even Shinto Shrines get rebuilt about every 20 years or so because of the code changes. This has left a very interesting question that most countries do not have as of yet: What do we do with all these empty houses when there is no one to buy them?

The above questions has not been answered yet and has led to a lot of empty houses since it is really hard to resale houses for those reasons. Not just in the country side or deep in the city like in America or Canada due to urbanization, but EVERYWHERE. THERE ARE ABANDONED HOUSES EVERYWHERE

Anyway what I'm trying to say is that there are a shit load of dirt cheap housing in the middle of most major cities and a shit load more in the country side all in Japan and you just have to look up akiya banks. I found a 2 floor extremely spacious apartment for rent in the heart of Tokiyo for just a little over 100 bucks a month cause it's about 60 years old aka: worthless in the eyes of others. This of course doesnt cover the cost of going through realtors and getting my work Visa but HOLY FUCK IF IT DOESNT MAKE ME MOVE A LITTLE QUICKER

[bleepblopbloop56]

The Murder in the Dressing Room

Chapter 4: Puzzle Peices

Chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, ao3

Warnings; blood, death, language, bit of crying, nothing too bad yet

As ALWAYS with this fic the wonderdul lovley beautiful person @pathos-logical did all the editing and 90% of the work. Go love her

((HI I FORGOT TO POST THIS YESTERDAY SO ITS ONE DAY LATE AND IM S O R R Y ))

One more thing before we get started, butnif yall ever wanna come into my askbox and just yell at me about this im so fuckin down for that! Or DM me and yell? Oh it gives me life.

((Reblogs with comments are very very VERY appreciated by the way))

-----

Officers swarmed the apartment just as they had swarmed the theater only days before. Roman was now being shoved into the spotlight by the press, and worse, being deemed suspect number one by every detective on the case. Well… almost every detective. 

"Victim showed obvious signs of a struggle," Remy started, and Logan thought back to the bruise on Roman's stomach, the one his fingertips had grazed over not long ago. He should say something. He didn't. "'Valuable' belongings, if you could call them that, are all in place, and his wallet still has cash, plus one expired credit card. It doesn't look like a robbery," Remy drawled on, circling the body like he belonged with the vultures lining up outside. "And based on… this-" he leaned down and lifted the mask off Remus, exposing his features- "it looks like you were right about our murderer." 

Not only was Remus's corpse adorned with a gold theater mask like the one that Thomas had been left with, it seemed a Joker-esque frown had been carved into Remus' mouth

"It doesn't make sense. I mean, an upper class actor from the nice part of town, and an unemployed man from the bad… What's the relation?" Logan voiced his thoughts, trying to push down the sick feeling that arose upon seeing a photo of Remus and Roman as children covered in the splattered blood. 

"Logan, you know the the relation…" Remus said quietly, eyes softening even as his voice hardened. "You really think it's a random coincidence that Roman moved to town and then both of his roommates were found dead by Roman?” His tone was harsh, but Logan could hear the underlying message. You’re not stupid, Logan, don't do this. Logan shook his head and stepped out into the hallway.

"Roman was with me all night," he admitted. "He has an alibi."

"Unless he fucking killed this guy and then went out and got you tipsy," Remy argued, but his eyes looked more pleading than accusatory. Logan's stomach twisted, and it took effort not to visibly wince. 

"You didn't see him when he found Remus," Logan said flatly. He had heard the scream all the way from the car. When he ran in, Roman had backed himself into a wall, screaming and crying harder than Logan had ever seen anyone cry. Breathing exercises could only go so far when you were five feet away from a dead body…

Logan had been forced to cover Roman's eyes and drag him out of the place to get him to calm down, and even then he'd shaken like a leaf until the ambulance showed up and he'd been treated for shock. 

"Logan I think you're too close to the case." Remy gently placed a hand on Logan's shoulder, but Logan jerked it away.

"How do you know Roman is a suspect and not a victim?" he snapped. "What evidence do you have that says he murdered these people? People he loved and was close to? Why would he wear Remus' clothing because it was too emotionally taxing to move his clothes out of Thomas' house? Why would he leave the bodies and evidence out lying around instead of disposing of them? This is a direct attack towards him, not by him, Remy." Logan was distantly aware his ranting was earning him more than a few confused stares by some of the other officers, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "Someone is out there killing people, and you're accusing an innocent victim based on one piece of evidence." Logan walked out of the building, leaving Remy alone at the scene before he could point out that that one piece was all they had.

_____

"Alright, first of all!" Remy slammed open the door of Logan's office, where Logan had been poring over case files for the past hour. "You don't just do that, okay? You don't just fuckin leave a scene like that and make me hitch a fuckin UBER back, okay? Do you know how sketchy that sounded?" Remy slammed his coffee down and threw off his satchel. "Hey bitch, come pick me up at this crime scene swarming with investigators, sorry my partner dumped my ass and took the car!" He demonstrated talking to the driver over his phone before dropping his hands and staring at Logan with his patented "are you fucking kidding me" face. 

"I apologize, Remington," Logan said tiredly. He set down his pen to give the appearance of giving Remy his full attention, but his mind was a hundred miles away.

"Don't fucking 'Remington' me!" was what Logan got for his efforts. He might have been Logan's inferior, but he sure as hell didn't act like it. "Listen, I get it. You're in love with your ex, who could be a murderer for all we know, and you're super pissed at me for telling you you're being unprofessional for the first time in your life. But that doesn't excuse any of this shit, alright?" Dropping all pretense, Logan dropped his head onto the desk, ready for Remy to shut the fuck up and get out of his office. 

"People. Are. Fucking. Dying. Logan," he growled, voice getting louder with each word. "So how bout you get off your ass and get your shit together!"

There was a beat of silence.

"Okay that's it, I'm done, end of rant." Remy dropped into the chair, going from furious to calm so suddenly it felt like he'd flipped a switch 

"Are you finished?" Logan deadpanned, rubbing his temple. Remy sucked on his straw, nodding silently and kicking his legs up in Logan's desk. Logan took a deep breath, straightening up and picking up his pen again.  "Good. Now can we get to work?" 

______

When Logan picked up Patton from daycare, it took everything in his power not to start sobbing. His baby was here, safe in his arms and alive. His profession wasn't one that exactly supported having kids, and it definitely wasn't one that made it easy to drop off his kid to a stranger and say "here, watch this while I'm gone."

Patton, for his part, didn't notice anything was wrong at first and just enjoyed the extra snuggle time with his dad. Instead of laying Patton down in the baby bed like he usually did for nap time at home, Logan had set him down in his own bed next to him, just wanting to hold Patton as close as possible. 

"Dada?" Patton didn't know many words, but he knew that one well, and it was Logan's favorite. Despite everything, he smiled on reflex, but his expression turned to one of alarm when Patton's bottom lip started to quiver. Patton pressed his little hands into Logan's cheeks, and with a start, Logan realized he'd been crying.

"No- I'm alright, Patton, Dada's alright, please don't cry," he shushed. He sat up slightly and bouncing Patton on his lap in an attempt to calm him down. When Patton's face began to screw up, he said again, slightly more desperately, "Shhh, look, Dada's fine-" But Patton wasn't stupid. He began to wail loudly, upset not only that he missing nap time but that his dad was crying. 

"Is everything okay in here?" Virgil asked, poking his head into the bedroom at the commotion. He was met with the sight of a bawling Patton and a completely overwhelmed Logan looking like he was heading the same way. Virgil wasted no time in walking in and taking Patton from Logan.

"You need a break, man," Virgil said over the crying. His eyes lit up as he was struck by an idea. "Hey, why don't you call your brother? Patton loves that doctor dude."

Logan shoved his head in his hands, trying to keep his breathing even. For a second he wanted to insist he was fine, he could handle this- but then he flinched when Patton's cries got even louder, and he could only sigh and nod. 

Doctor Emile Picani had always loved children. He’d always wanted kids of his own, but the one man he loved more than anything had passed away right after their second anniversary. Emile still wore his ring. So when his phone rang and he was met with his brother practically begging him to take Patton for a few days, he was more than happy to oblige. He was at the house the very next day to take Patton away for him.

"Thank you so much for doing this," Logan sighed, handing over the baby to Emile. Patton bounced and smiled at him, happily wrapping his arms around him the best he could. The night before, Logan had sat down Patton and explained he'd be going to have a playdate with Uncle Emile for a few days. He wasn't entirely certain Patton had understood any of it, but he looked happy enough in his uncle's arms.

Logan gave Patton a small kiss on the forehead before Emile left, straightening out his bright yellow sunflower dress in Emile's hands. (Patton had picked it out himself in the store, and who was Logan to say no to him?)

"Bye bye!" Patton waved enthusiastically, smiling at Logan as he got strapped into his carseat. 

"I love you, Patton," he smiled back, trying to pull up genuine cheer for him. He knew that sending Patton away for a day or two would be good for Logan, would let him grieve and mourn in private, but god was it hard sending his baby away. 

Virgil was waiting for him when he dragged himself away from the car and back into the apartment. 

"How ya holdin' up?" he asked gently, and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Logan collapsed forward into his shoulder, despite the considerable height difference. It was sloppy and unprofessional, but it was also long overdue.

"Hey, hey, hey- dude, it's okay," Virgil tried, running a hand through Logan's hair. Logan's glasses were stabbing at Virgil's shoulder through his pajama shirt, and Logan had to be uncomfortable too. But Virgil wasn't going to mention that now. He just stayed standing as his friend heaved and sobbed, clutching at his shirt and desperately looking for comfort.

It was in moments like these that Virgil remembered Logan really was still just a kid. He might be a detective and act all mature and have a kid, but he was still just twenty-seven. He didn't really have his life together yet- because who the hell did in their twenties? And he had just lost his best friend, and now was the first time he'd let himself honestly cry. 

"Logan, it's okay," Virgil tried again when Logan's sobs had quieted to sniffles. But he only got a soft "Is it?" in return. 

----

The murder in the dressing room taglist:

@cataclysm-al @theteenagetrickster @intrurality-fusion @katie-the-noble-fangirl @whizzie72 @grayson-22 @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing @winterwonderland7669 @missieluvsmurder @sign-from-god-complex @dragonindigo245 @angryfanboyscreaming @ninja-wizard101 @sombraookami @crystalistrappedintheinternet @imtooaromanticforthis @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @dragon-hair @satanblessi @spookilyfingergunsoutofexistence @skruffy901 @selectivereality @nonbeenary-enbee @imbasicallyshakespear @cats-vetal-miking-vomit @incoherentfangirl @oofmood

[skvaderarts]

Soliloquy Chapter Seven: Abscond

You can check out the Masterlist Here for more links to places to read!

Chapter Seven: Abscond

Note: I just wanted to start by saying that chapter six was an absolute nightmare to write, but I had a great time doing it nonetheless. I’ve spent a few months trying to get myself to write this fic, and that resurrection scene was basically the whole reason. Trying to figure out a way to do that and make it make sense, fit into the existing confines of the series, and be coherent and enjoyable to read made for quite the crippling challenge, so I am thrilled by the reception that that chapter received! I remain humbled by your kind comments and warm words of encouragement! Thank you to every single person who commented, reblogged, gave kudos, and sent me messages about the story. I’d name you all, but in addition to everyone who has ever left me feedback on the previous chapters, almost 200 new people read the last chapter, so I can’t list you all by name. However, I can say thank you. Thank you all so much!

-~-

The overcast that had loomed overhead as they had entered the building was now more prevalent than ever. Be it a result of their current actions, some form of an ominous omen, or simply impeccably timed weather, it alluded to a coming storm of epic proportions. Huge dark clouds that would cause any right-minded pedestrian to check the current time of day spread across the sky in a vast network, chilling the air and absorbing all forms of light. The once gentle breeze was now a harsh wind, hammering against every surface it came across. It had been a glooming day from the very moment that the sun had come up that morning, but this was really kicking things into high gear.

As Magnolia collected what remained of the sparse materials she had brought with her to conduct the ritual, Nero oversaw V’s condition. The newly resurrected young man seemed to be semi-continuous, having still not opened his eyes since being brought back to the realm of the living, but able to react to physical stimuli. While it made sense to Nero on some level that he would not be fully operational out the gate (since he had never really been in the time he had known him) he still found himself unable to shake the feeling of uncertainty that had lodged itself deep into his subconscious.

He was worried about V.

Now that was something he never imagined he’d experience again...

As Dante and Vergil combed the space per Magnolia’s request to make sure there were no overt signs of demonic activity still present in the building, the youngest Descendant of Sparda went over a vague mental checklist in his mind. On the top of that list was the obvious question of where the hell V was going to go for the time being. While the Devil May Cry office was an obvious choice, there was the issue of Vergil’s undeniably recent return to contend with. Nero didn’t even need to ask if Dante knew where Vergil was staying at his office right now. They hadn’t been home long enough to see to that. For all the young white-haired man knew, his father had evolved to no longer require sleep during his time in the underworld. But V was going to be a different story. He just knew it. He had always been a different story; an exception to every rule.

“Hey, Magnolia,” Nero called to the alchemist as she packed up the last of her supplies,” Should I be worried that he looks like he’s in a coma or something?”

The woman in question shook her head as she closed the buckle clasps on her carrying case. “Being in a coma is no laughing matter, little one. Relatively speaking, it’s about as close to passing into Purgatorio as one can possibly get without actually being deceased.”

Nero chuckled to himself, nodding with an amused look on his face. “You don’t have to tell me that. I spent some time that way myself a little while back. Woke up one night to this one,” Nero said as he gestured towards V,” sitting in my window reading a book ready to offer me a job like I wasn’t already half-dead already or something. That’s how we met.”

Magnolia didn’t know what to say to that. While one part of her wanted to know what the hell had happened to him that ended with him comatose in the first place, her mind couldn’t help but find humor in the mental image of a person contracting someone to fight the envoys of the Underworld in their sickbed after seemingly breaking into their home. She decided that she would ask for more details when all parties involved were capable of speaking. “Well, if that’s the case, I’m glad to see that you're faring so well, dear. Hopefully, there will be fewer close calls in your future.”

Nero wasn’t entirely sure if she was being sarcastic or if the Alchemist was genuinely happy for his good health. She just had one of those voices, and the accent wasn’t helping in the slightest. “Thanks, I guess. Anyway, does bringing someone back from the afterlife or whatever come with a manual, because I feel like there’s something I’m missing in all of this.”

It was her turn to laugh now. She pulled the rolling case into an upright position and headed towards the front entrance, presumably heading to the van or some other form of transportation. After all, it was unlikely that she had walked here carrying all of these supplies from nearly twenty miles away up a gradual slope. Nero carefully lifted V bridal style and followed her. Somehow he weighed even less than he had originally estimated, if that was at all possible. Maybe after he had clothing on, his body weight would be more substantial. 

As cold as it was starting to get both inside and outside of the building, leaving him laying on bare concrete in -well, nothing- was probably a bad idea. As he followed her, she stopped, snickering to herself at the situation at hand, and decided to answer his question. “He should be more or less fine now. The hard part was relocating his soul to another plane of existence,” She spoke calmly, in a manner reminiscent of a professor giving a lecture,” The poor thing is going to be whether weak for a while though. Any inborn gifts he possessed prior to all this nonsense will trickle back in gradually, though in the meantime he will be effectively human. No passive regeneration, sixth sense, or anything like that for at least a week or so. I’m no doctor, but I’m going to take the initiative here and recommend bed rest. Extensively. What he just endured is taxing on the mind and body in every way conceivable, even for someone young and in good health. Don’t be surprised if he experiences dizzy spells or fainting. Proper nutrition is helpful, but this could still take a while.”

Nero nodded to himself as he took in the information she had just given him. Nothing seemed unreasonable, but it did clarify one thing for him. He needed to talk to Dante and Vergil. He chuckled to himself as he followed Magnolia, garnering a curious glance from her as they exited the building. “I fail to see the humor in this.”

In response to her statement, Nero smirked knowingly. “It’s not funny, it’s ironic,” He said. Her blank repose signaled that he needed to elaborate.” What I mean is you said he might faint and that for someone “in good health” this could be a lot to go to, right?”

She nodded, barely noticing the transition between the indoor and outdoor lighting as they exited the building and stepped out into the parking lot. “Yes. I said that. Why?”

Nero approached the van, using his foot to knock on the side door and signal Nico to open it. “Well, it’s ironic because he’s not “in good health” to start with. He’s walked with a cane the entire time I’ve known him and he’s constantly coughing or tripping over himself. Not to be an asshole or anything, but if I’m magnetically attracted to stairs, then he’s magnetically attracted to the ground ’cause that’s where he spends a lot of his free time.”

Magnolia blinked, her wide eyes filled with a sudden understanding and sympathy that she made no effort of hiding. Suddenly, what little desire she held to know how the young man before her had met his end fled her. It was unusual for someone his age to walk with a cane, especially one with a measurable amount of demon blood coursing through his veins. When he was more stable, she would need to take the time to try and consult with him. Perhaps there was something she could do to help…

As Nico opened the van door, Dante and Vergil exited the building. They arrived just in time to watch Nico’s frankly astounding facial expression at the sight of the presumably deceased demon slayer. “Well fuck,” she said as she stepped back to give the onboarding party room,” Every time you get in this van Nero, some weird shit happens; I swear. How the hell did yall- you know what? I don’t even wanna know! Let’s get outta here. Where are we headed?”

Magnolia pointed across the parking lot to the side of the building. They couldn’t see what she was pointing at, but they could only assume that it was her means of transportation. “I just wanted to see you off. I need to get back to my shop. Come see me later. And call me if you need anything,” She glanced at the oldest Son of Sparda, her eyes narrowing harshly,” Except you, Vergil. Your allowed casual visits at most.”

With that, she handed a slip of folded paper to Nero before hurrying off across the parking lot. Nico snickered briefly before looking at her passengers. She still needed a destination. Nero glanced between the twins and his friend as he laid V down on the couch. The summoner coughed weakly, teasing the possibility of opening his eyes for a moment before exhaling and settling back into his previous state, only this time more asleep than awake. Nero watched him for a moment before nodding to himself, his resolve towards the decision he had been teetering back and forth on now absolute. “... I think me and Nico should take V back to Fortuna with us.”

Dante and Vergil did a double-take, seemingly more surprised at his sudden uptake in initiative than offended by the statement. Dante seemed to consider quietly the statement, while Vergil seemed more apprehensive. 

“Why?” The eldest Son of Sparda said bluntly. He was clearly unconvinced.

Nero settled into a sitting position of the floor with his side against the couch, seemingly uninterested in heaving V’s proximity. Whether this was a conscious or subconscious decision or not remained to be seen, but he did so nonetheless. “Because there is a metric shit ton less demonic activity there than there is in Redgrave and Capulet and because I’m the only one here who isn’t going to get in an argument with my brother and literally destroy my own house. Magnolia said he needs bed rest and all that shit, and the only peaceful kinda peaceful place is my house. That, and your extra bedroom is taken, Dante,” Nero tilted his head in his father’s direction,” And I just happen to have an extra room at my place since someone decided to scare my kids back into one room!”

Vergil glanced away at the last statement, still unwilling to think about the mental damage he had probably inflicted upon those wide-eyed, chatty, orphans. “So you actually believe that three actual children can be that well behaved and we can't?”

Nero didn’t hesitate to nod in agreement. “Yea, because when I turn on the tv, they sit down and watch it. You can’t even turn a TV off without unplugging it, and your only means of communication with your own brother is stabbing each other to death. Plus, Dante’s doors get kicked in like every fucking week and he blasts loud ass music all the damn time. That’s literally the opposite or a restful environment!”

Dante shrugged incredulously. As much as he’d like to make some sort of witty comeback, Nero wasn’t exactly incorrect. Vergil closed his eyes as if he were deep in thought for a long moment as Nico tried not to laugh at this whole situation from the driver’s seat. Everyone in this family was a walking disaster and it was amazing that they had survived this long. After a minute that felt like a lifetime, Vergil sighed and leaned back against the window next to Dante who was now sitting down across from the couch and searching for a magazine to pretend to read to avoid this uncomfortable conversation. “... Do not disappoint me, Nero… I do not give my trust light.”

Dante interjected with a quick “no he really doesn’t” before continuing to reread his magazine for the millionth time. Vergil shot him a quick glare before returning his gaze to Nero. There was no humor present in his demeanor. Nero glanced between him and  V before nodding slowly in agreement. “I’m not going to.”

-~-

It had taken almost every ounce of daylight to drop Dante and Vergil off and then head back to the pier. And their timing couldn’t have been better as the ferry was stopping with the next round trip. The possibility of a thunderstorm had halted most water traffic, and all water transport between the island and the mainland was due to cease immediately upon the vessel’s return. That left just enough time to sneak one last trip in.

As the ship was docking, Nero called Kyrie to alert her of their arrival and to inform her that they would have another houseguest for a while. As expected, she didn’t protest the idea. In fact, she seemed thrilled, though that could be because Nero hadn’t elaborated on the context of the stay or who was coming over. V and Kyrie had never met one another, despite the fact that V had come to their home once before. But it had been during the middle of the night and the young summoner had been in something of a hurry at the time. There had been no time for pleasantries back then. But that was about to change. Hopefully.

As they pulled up to the onboarding ramp, Nero gave Nico the closest thing he could to a serious look. Before he could ask her not to go flying off the ramp, she disembarked, taking the ramp for perhaps the first time ever. Nero was utterly flabbergasted. “Nico, what the fuck?!”

Nico put her cigarette out in the ashtray she had placed in one of the cup holders. “What is it this time? If I drive carefully, you bitch at me. If I don’t, you bitch at me. Are ya crazy or somethin’? If you think you can do better, then you drive next time and I’ll take a nap in the back with him!”

Nero stared at her incredulously as she pulled around the corner and headed towards their shared residence. Nico absolutely never under any circumstance drove like a normal human being. He wasn’t sure if knowing that she could do that made him feel relieved or upset. She could have just driven the van like this the entire time he had known her? What the absolute fuck?

“So ya gonna keep starin’ at me like that or what?” Nico asked casually. Nero was at a loss for words and it showed.

As the van pulled onto the street that they called home, Nero stood up and walked over to V. Despite the fact that he still hadn’t woken up, he now looked more asleep than unconscious. Or at least that was what Nero thought. When he had first been brought back, he looked distressed, uncomfortable even. Now he seemed more at ease. At the very least, his breathing had been steady and he hadn’t coughed in at least an hour. He seemed stable. Nero couldn’t help but wonder if he was just a very deep sleeper and had been taking a much-needed nap this entire time. He doubted it, but still. Now that he thought about it, this was the first time he had actually seen the summoner sleep. During their time together during the Redgrave city incident, they had taken the occasional break, but V had been so preoccupied with his book that he hadn’t even sat down, always choosing to lean against the stove in the van’s kitchenette instead. Vergil had the book now, perhaps using it as a bargaining tool for later. He wasn’t much of a talker, a fact that had bothered Nero when they had first met. Who would have ever guessed that they’d be in the situation that they were in now, Nero bringing him to stay at his place? Wild shit happened sometimes.

“It’s just good to know that you can actually drive. Though I still don’t understand how you ever got a license.” Nero said as they pulled into the back alley that led to their driveway. For once, the door was open. Kyrie must have let it up after their conversation on the phone earlier. Nico climbed out of her seat and headed over to the side door, opening it and then hoping down to hold it open for Nero.

“Yea, well I wasn’t tryin’ to knock him around too much. He already walks with a cane.” Nico said as she stepped back towards the rear of the van. With the large vehicle inside of the garage, space was at a premium, and carrying someone required more room than normal. Nero fixed his jacket around V and scooped him up, nearly bashing his legs against the kitchen cabinet as he turned. The youngest Descendant of Sparda cringed to himself. That was one thing the two of them seemed to have in common to some degree. They were both clumsy as hell.

Taking a few cues from his close call a moment prior, he descended the stairs carefully and headed towards the inside door. Nico closed the door behind him and squeezed past them, heading to open the door for them. She nearly walked right into Kyrie as she did so. The young red-haired woman was carrying a stack of cardboard boxes and Nico had nearly sent her crashing to the floor as the door caught her in the side. She set the boxes down on the bench behind her and stepped back out of the way, clearly startled.

“My bad Kyrie,” Nico said as she looked her over for injuries,” I couldn’t see you!”

Kyrie smiled brightly and gestured towards the boxes. “You’re just fine, Nico. The children and I were cleaning out the extra room. There wasn’t really much in there, so I was hoping I’d be done before you arrived. These were the last three boxes. All of this was going on the empty shelves in the garage-”

Nico eagerly grabbed the stack of boxes as Nero entered behind her. “Ok, I’ll take care of it for you,” the young dark-haired woman said as she stepped out behind Nero and out into the garage. Kyrie was going to inform her that she could take care of it herself, but Nico disappeared behind the closed door before she could. The young redhead shook her head and giggled to herself as she turned to face Nero. During her time here, she had truly come to enjoy Nico’s extreme personality. She was a joy to be around.

The moment she caught sight of the white-haired young man her domestic partner was carrying, she went wide-eyed, her head crooking to the side in surprise. Who in Sparda’s name was this newcomer? Nero shifted anxiously. Maybe it was better if he just spit it out and got it over with? “Hey so… this is V, the guy I told you about when I came back after everything,” He said cautiously, unsure of how she was taking all of this,” It turns out that being dead is more complicated than everybody thinks, so he’s alive again. And… he’s kinda my brother so…”

Kyrie stared at him blankly. That was a little too much for her to take in all at once. She glanced down at their sleeping guest, leaning over him to get a better look. That made sense. They did have the same color hair, even though his looked a little whiter than Neros did to her. She was totally taken aback at the implications of what Nero had just said. He’d come back from the dead? Nero had told her Vergil had done that at one point, so the idea wasn’t completely foreign to her, but Nero had a brother? In the entire time that she had known him, she would have never guessed that he had siblings. He had always been so… alone. After all, being an orphan made it very difficult to locate your original family. It made her wonder what Nero must be thinking about all of this. As startled as she was, it had to be several times worse for him.

She smiled softly and gestured towards the guest room. It was on the opposite side of the house from the dining room. Being the only room on this floor and having its own small ensuite bathroom, it had been the natural choice for a guest room. She patted Nero gently as he passed her before turning towards the dining room. “It’s okay. I know you did the right thing, Nero. I’ll go get some extra blankets. I put a sheet and some pillows on the bed after I finished dusting, but I didn’t get a chance to do anything else.”

Nero stared at her as she walked off for a moment, relieved that she had taken that so well. She’d have probably told him off for his reaction if she’d been present at the time. Her understanding meant the world to him. “It’s okay, Kyrie. You do enough as it is.”

She waved at him over her shoulder as she rounded the corner into the next room and disappeared. He used his foot to nudge open the door and walked, taking a moment to look around. Aside from the built-in bookcase that had always been in the room near the door and the bed that jutted out into the center of the room, the entire room was spotless. The large window on the far side of the room that overlooked the small side yard where the children normally played was open, likely to let in the fresh air. Nero laid V down and sat at the foot of the bed, only now really registering how unreal this entire situation seemed to him. A moment later, Kyrie returned with a stack of about six blankets. Nero raised an eyebrow at her as she stuffed them into one of the open shelves on the bookcase and then used one to cover him up. It was a plush grey knitted blanket that she had made herself a while back. As soon as he was covered up, Nero unwrapped his jacket from around him and tucked it under his arm, returning his attention to Kyrie. She shrugged at his obvious confusion.

“I didn’t want him to be cold,” She said simply, gesturing towards the oversized stash of warm, thick blankets,”... Why was he wrapped in your coat? Is he okay?”

Nero looked over at V. He had stirred slightly, pulling the soft blanket tighter around himself. Now that Nero thought about it, Kyrie was probably correct. It had been abnormally cold for the last few hours. Having no clothes on had probably been uncomfortable, to say the least. “... I think he’s going to be alright. Supposedly he just needs to rest” Nero glanced over at the pile of blankets again, nodding to himself,” Thanks for the blankets. He doesn’t have any clothes on, so that’s probably going to be good for him. Probably should have said that before...”

Kyrie blushed bright red. “OH. I’m sorry then! I’ll go see if I can find him something!”

Before he could say anything, Kyrie hurried out of the room, closing the door behind her. He shook his head and laughed to himself. Poor kyrie. She probably felt like she had violated V’s personal space. He stood up and pulled an extra cover from the pile, tossing it over him. Better safe than sorry. As he leaned over him to fix the covers, V turned over and brushed his arm over him, exhaling audibly. Nero moved V’s arm off of his hand and continued, paying him little mind. As he sat up to assess his work, V gripped his wrist weakly. Assuming that he was simply shifting in his sleep again, he sat up and moved to step away and towards the door. But as he tried to pull away, V’s grip tightened. Nero turned his attention from the door back to the bed and nearly jumped out of his skin in fright. A familiar set of green eyes was looking back up at him.

V was awake. And he looked absolutely wrecked.

-~-

This chapter was so fun to write that I had to stop here and immediately start working on the next chapter. They will only be a day apart, so don’t worry, I won’t keep you in suspense for very long! Again, thank you so much for your overwhelming support. Hopefully, this chapter wasn’t too slow for you. But the good news is that V is actually awake now, so you know what that means. DIALOGUE! See you guys on May 22nd for chapter Eight! Wow, I can’t believe we’re already on chapter eight...

[akalegos]

Could you tell us a little about your characters?

Y E S !

but due to me having at least over a thousand characters I’ll just give a quick summary of the 25 I manage to dig up over 3 sketchbooks.

Y’all can pick and choose which of them interest yall or who you wanna hear more about!

Also because I’m extra, I made sketch icons for the 25 characters, info under the cut

I’ll talk a bit more about my actual Original Characters first, starting with

Aiko! Otherwise known as Echo

- A marked individual in a steampunk world that gets mixed with magic, because I like both of those things

- Echo runs an underground lab that does helps the underground world with replacing body parts, illegal surgeries etc etc

- Even though she marked, which puts a bounty on her head already, she is well respected by the community for not cheating for your money, stealing your cash, or shanking/killing you mid-surgery

- however, Echo does long for adventure and sometimes do get bored in the lab

oh yeah,, Echo like stealing eyeballs, so if you’re low on cash and wouldn’t mind losing an eye, you know who to call!!

Bonus:

Here’s Echo’s boring, undeveloped sidekick!! I don’t like her and I don’t know how to make her better. Yes, she doesn’t have a name.

here’s my god playboy that left “heaven” due to having an early mid-life crisis, I call him God boi cause;

- He goes by many names! 

tbh, he’s probably the closest character I have to being genderfluid/-neutral? I’m not sure,,

- The god has many powers, from lightning to shapeshifting

- The shapeshifting part allows him to change every part of himself, allowing him to change depending on his situation.

- God boyo, or originally Aristide, is obsessed with the idea of perfection. A god should be perfect, if a god is out of line, he is no god. 

- Same goes for him, which means whenever something is wrong with him, it affects him, extremely

However, leaving the land of gods to live among humans aren’t all perks

- Aris isn’t immune to diseases or injuries. In fact, he actually fell down and died on impact when he came to earth, being reborn into another child immediately.

- He doesn’t gain his memories back automatically tho!! He has to have a major shock to the brain in order for him to remember his previous lives

- Sometimes the shock isn’t enough either, when you have a thousand over lives, you won’t remember every single one of them. So forgotten lovers coming back to haunt because your brain hates you? That’s everyday for him!

i just,, i like playing with the concepts of god,,

Up next we got Ayeka Himura! A japanese student going to a neighborhood, but still a pretty good, school living close to poverty due to her father’s constant spending habits and obsession with art supplies. With the household lacking a mother due to wacky shenanigans, Ayeka takes care of her two younger siblings and the house, all while maintaining a very well-paid job and slowly loosing interest in actually studying for a good, honest job.

also she likes birds!!

Yes her design is heavily “based” off Toga but I love her current design too much to change it, h e l p

So like,, I suck at chinese and I made ocs that exclusively spoke in chinese to help with that but I’m still stuck at 40~marks

I forgot his scar but remembered his earring i hate myself

my og chinese kiddo! he was was first to come and I love his design ever since

he radiates fuck you energy except the girl below. He’s neighbors with her and they acknowledge each other existence ever since. he has a dumb cliche crush on her and is a bit protective of her because nothing says having issues than latching onto someone that makes you happy

Only this girl got named!! even tho she was the second character.

Li Shen, yes she doesnt have a surname, is apparently main ho now, according to my old oc chart of my “main” ocs

She’s the group’s resident sweetheart and really does not want you to do stupid shit, stop doing stupid shit. She tutors my son up there ^^ even though he’s actually smart and just refuses to do his work properly. But she still deeply cares for him.

As well as the girl below shdifhd

the last girl of the ching chong trio and the reason I had to switch up my son’s design is this girly over here! Her design was too business-y and formal so I enrolled all of them into college. A rich girl who doesn’t know how to deal with her g a y thoughts. Tried sending Li Shen some flowers once. She didn’t realize attaching her name would be a good idea and son got a good laugh.

i like paranormal stuff so they apparently look into that shit in their spare time. They’re all actually really fun characters to do prompts with I swear!! send some in and I’ll write them

I had a previous concept for son and Li Shen before last girl came and if yall want me to talk about it,,, i found my sketchbook with the old ideas,,

NEXT UP IS MY OLD GIRL ELORA!!

Elora herself used to be a fan character but I pulled her out and wow\

cant fucking believe she used to be straight for Vylad

shes the outgoing, fun adventure type! bit of mommy issues here and there tho,, I don’t want to say too much since I have an entire for her +

her now upgraded bro, Vincent

i really like the name vincent,,

also now he has mommy issues

Ead, the knight who used to have armor

I hate drawing armor 

he also have issues

AND IRIS MY SWEET GIRL IM SO SORRY

she doesnt have that much issues tho

basically I made elora and her bro have mommy issues, I’m sorry in advance if that spoils anything

I, sometimes, post about these 4 over on @eloradiesismydocsname​ and its a gay ol’ time

not that gay tho because uhh,, medieval times,, but I need prompts for a modern au of them and I am happy to talk about their personalities and even go semi in-depth for any of them!!

here we have ghoster.png,, which is her file name cause I didn’t name her,,

A horror enthusiast + film student that goes to a supposedly haunted shack to film her upcoming project with the boys. wacky shenanigans occur and the boys left leaving ghoster here to starve and eventually fall to her death. But because it’s my oc i get to bring her back from the dead, now hungry as ever and will fucking eat you, its not a kink thing, shes just that hungry and angry

tax fraud.png

a robo girl that i created during social studies cause they were talking about taxes and i just went, “what if,, a robo runs on taxes,,, and like,, she haunts you down for not paying your taxes,,” thus she was born! I don’t know what to name her but she is set in the future so-

Time to go future-apocalypse style because I love that setting too and was upset that I didn’t have any ocs in that style. So I created Alex A. ! A cybrog filled with memories of the previous generations as a sad attempt to preserve human life.

He’s accompanied by his sister/cousin idr i didn’t draw an icon for her, didnt like her design. they go on a hunt for food and to return with nothing. She gets to meet this other dude who has a plant arm im pretty sure i based him off someone’s elses oc but i cant remember. The 3 are forgotten. Kinda want to bring them back tho.

Neon! A character set in the future utopia of lazy people, where gamers rise up. its the best I can describe her story without getting too deep. She the new hacker on the block, joining the underground gang of elite hackers. She’s another one of those wacky characters that just has fun. I mean, when you know your way around codes and the world you live in is full of it, would you not take advantage of that?

as for fan characters,, uhh,, i have em

STARTING WITH MY WIFE!

Alexzandra Zara oh my god i forgot to draw her necklace and shirt

anyways,, Alexzandra is one of the more older ocs I have that didnt get a big revamp. Only an au I develop to the point I forgot the actual shows and the original cast are a little different from the source haha what? She’s the emotionally unstable german war veteran, yes the wife thing isn’t mutual, and haha shes only 27~. I cling onto her so much?? She’s hits a lot of “edgy” points but I still love her cause idk,, the story I made for her is something I hold dear cause Alexzandra was one of my first ACTUALLY DEVELOPED CHARACTER. Is it wrong to say I hold her really close to my heart? Is that weird? probably a little cringy sorry haha. I probably project a little into her which might have strengthened my love for her ack. Her story delves more into the depression very unstable needs to talk to someone side and i get scared talking about my wife’s story online so uhh, idk ask me specific questions about her, I’ll be more inclined to talk.

Dr Watts! The spoiled ass dick that stole dst Wilson’s house and yes this is a dst oc, yes im slightly sorry.

He’s just fun?? almost ran a blog with him and a friend’s oc. He’s your typical uptight old science gramps that took advantage of the fact that no one knows his real name that he calls himself a doc. He’s not. I put everything about him up to a 9-10? He’s one of those wacky characters and I love him for it! His story is really wonky tho so might need help solidifying that part 

and from the angry old man to my sweet man that will adopt you even if you’re noisy or call him ginger. Pilot here is a TF2 OC I made to interact with other tf2 OCs cause some of them are fun and i wanna join in :((

He’s the Canadian stereotype, and yes, he adopted scout, that was one of my character notes. 

Like the actual cast of tf2, there’s barely any real story to him. I only gave him a vague I don’t know my past but hey, i fly really really well. He participated in war unlike certain men but he’s still really nice and will only kill you if you hurt his family. Which he doesn’t know so he just considers the cast his family. He keeps mentioning a wife though, pretty sure he doesn’t have one but you do what makes you happy son.

Ai! an oc I HEAVILY revamped oh my god i hate her old vers. So if yall remember my random shouting of missing my og son, Aru. Here’s his bff. cause he barely has any actual friends that give a shit. And I just cant have that. but here’s your yandere revamped into a last minute addition. I actually feel like I did Ai a lot of justice. I don’t want to delve too deep cause I will start making charts. I’ll do that in a separate post if yall are keen

Isamu Aena! a mp100 oc I made by accident cause idk,, I was thinking about lolita fashion and all of a sudden, the actual oc I was going to make turned into a mob psycho oc. She’s one of my few ocs where her sexuality matters (she’s gay yeah) cause it plays a role in her storyline. She went from being “manipulated”/used to Mob’s wingwomen. She spots out things that can help him in the romantic department cause she’s into romance. A student of the school Mob infiltrated and a fantastic tailor, not to mention a pretty decent pyschic. wait where do models get their lolita stuff from,,

im gonna ignore that and move onto Lillian Yi! Who, i swear i did not meant for it, is very close to lloyd. I mean,, none of the ninjas were with him after s3, who you think he’d meet. Lillian is a survivor from the Great Devourour and yes I’m still pissed LEGO stole my backstory for Lillian to use for Harumi. FUCK YOU LEGO, i still love both of em tho,, The event did leave a big scar and it made Lillian job jumping for a bit, ending at Chen’s Noodles in S6~, where ya know,, stuff got better. She was a medalist for gymnastics and continue the activity, even after her parents’ death, to please others. She was already lost at the time so staying in the sport would help, right? Needless to say, after being rejected at a cop academy for youths, or something similar, she gave up for a while but got back into the idea of saving people by using her skills she already had. It helped with the weight and feelings and meeting the green ninja was a very big bonus. Also Lloyd dubbed her the “mysterious stranger” when she refused to speak in fear of her identity, slight shame, and maybe a bit of being star struck. It helped Lloyd too in a sense where he had something to distract him from Zane’s passing.

 Their relationship was eventually formed, strong and almost unbreakable, except for harumi but uhh thats a different story. Throughout the seasons, they stayed close and lloyd was always comforted by Lillian went times get ruff.

Also Lillian is my most light-hearted characters and I think that says a lot

Then there’s Nite “I don’t want to be your dad”. A character that is supposed to be in the ninjago world but barely interacts with the main story and only stays in his self contained plot. He was supposed to get a bf but uhhh idk. He’s the master of shifting and streams that online, taking out small crimes, and is actually really shy and doesn’t like interacting with people.

also haha fortnite

Nora Akino, the sin of despair! its an ad thing, I think. She speaks only in a foreign language that only Odin understands and is either big gay for Ava or Maggi, she can’t pick. And yes she did drink the vial, when TITAN attacks your planet and you accidentally die, how else can you meet your family again? also my grandpa walked in and said she looks like royalty. cool-

she wouldn’t leave my hand for like,, 3 days or something

Petri, a fellow troublemaker at camp campbell’s music camp. She managed to pick the camp because apparently a parent who doesn’t acknowledge your hard work don’t read the fine print! Please let David adopt her,,

LASTLY! Yukimaru Atsuko, hero name; Gummie. She goes by Yuki and is a big dick. She’s a studious student but gets more thrills on the actual battlefield. Living with her uptight grandma and her big bottom energy bro, she has the dom energy thing going. and apparently folks on G+, or the people who comment about her, thinks she’s really pretty, which was oddly a thing back before UA. She’s the dick you can like, not like Bakugou but she will definitely want to fight Bakugou. 

A gum-related quirk is not full of perks when its only your hands. I’d dive more into her like her insecurities and stuff but I’ve been here for probably 3hrs. Sorry anon.

Also I’m so sorry to anyone who reads this all the way through.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I hear two Atlanta Police Officers with missing vehicles called the Mayor and apologized to her for thinking of only themselves, admitted they were afraid that if they were in the same situation they would been fired as the other two in the Rayshard Brooks case and they couldn't allow that to happen to,themselves and the community so they wanted to show what would happen if it did because like me they all saw it as a justified homocide, a honorable weapon's discharge.

But after reading what i wrote last night. They fully regrret their decision and would like to have a meeting with her today, the entire 25 that stayed home for 3 days and they will all drive up to see her, in their personal cars of course.

Of course they got her mussing her mascara and all. Weeping she is. Don't mean she's weak. Just means she knows love. And she knows how evil attacks it and makes love so painful.

... ...

I mean I'm real surprised at Atlanta. I never had any problems with them they was always "The Next New Orleans" i called them.

Always just witchy with it. Good and a skip ahead.

So besides my anger at the situation created...

Look. I come straight outta the 90s.

Back then... Man. Our history been lost in 30 years. Our soul soul soul filled history. Its gone. It ain't there.

Back in the 90s we had about a 15 year break. From the protests from Vietnam War. Love not War Protests. We had them nice little 1950s with "Hello Technology: introduction to the TV" ONWARD to the "60s Hippies. Make love not War" taking it right onto the 70s which came back with the Civil Rights

So our 90s. Y'all they were the most beautiful. They were the combo of the 60s and 70s.

The riots and protests being taught to me and we made it big as we could with all the best parts of being a Human Rights Activist with brand new only 1990s fluorescent neon dripped could bring in.

That was all lost. Its all gone.

But the fight. The rights. THE TRUTH we went all 1950s and stayed in and raised our kids right. People wanna say shit about the Millennials. But we spoke truth. We spoke from our heart and we let them find,the truth as safe as possible and form their own opinions based on truth alone.

So now people wanna beat our kids. People i went to high school with they got high school graduates. Mine will be 17 this August. Real honest to God birthday and age.

Those are my babies. Our babies. They are our future. In 50 years they're gonna be like old man Bernie Sanders. 70 years old bent over fighting because we're gonna be near dead at 90 and more.

And people neglect and beat and ...

Man Our kids got it bad enough already. Simply because THEY KNOW THE TRUTH.

And man we got to protect them. Protect their hearts. Their minds. Their souls.

And they getting allllllll this stress. Put on them. Stress that is simply avoided.

By one dancing in the streets.

By 15 officers stating their badge numbers.

By the police owning up to who they are and why they exist.

Don't they want peace? Used to be they were called Peace Keeping Officers.

Now they called Lice Officers. Coming in on Native American Reservations claiming unwashed hair bread bugs. Let me tell you something. My daughter and I got lice a while back.. Like 8 years. The only thing that killed them was coating our hair in oil

Lice breath through holes in their exobody. So the oil makes them suffocate to death and die. Furthermore people whom smoke reject lice more frequently than those that don't. It takes me 3 months longer to get lice than a non smoker.

Peace pipe anyone?

.

So historically police aren't loved. They aren't wanted.

Being a police or military. It becomes a color of our skin. I'll post a tattoo that isn't finished being colored or lined. It's not done. I'll show you we can balance it.

Get out of your comfort zone. Step out of your skin.

We can't stop being black. We can't stop being what drives us to be police.

But we can control it.

"BURN ALL THEIR FUCKING CARS" demanded the international head of the CIA.

"No ma'am. This is what we did" they didn't tell me No before. They just did it. Because they knew it was better. They knew it would cause all 25 of y'all to have to stand up and say "my car is missing. This is how i feel. I do/don't want it back"

Where yall can't pretend what y'all did didn't matter and just get up and go to work the next day. All sneak in and get back to business.

No. You got a fucking problem. You forcing others to take on your load, Zone 5.

Were not walking away and being all its fine what ever. You got a problem. We need to tackle it in a for real state.

Foooorrrrr Reeeaaaalllll state.

You got a problem in your mind? Those become tangible. They aren't floating thoughts. They are what makes us do what we do.

Make it concrete. Take away their cars.

I ain't saying the charges will be dropped. That's all a whole other issue. I don't work in the justice system. Court. Law. I tell you how to win in court. But i ain't about telling some DA how to shove it. I just sue them. When its courts. I fight their game. With paperwork and all that shit. So like i said that's not on me to say the charges will be dropped.

When it's a basketball game you use a ball and circle to drop the ball in.

Use proper tools

Atlanta PD could and should said "alright let's picket the DA. Lets go in uniform. Leave our weapons in the car. Unbutton our shirts. Put red paint on our foreheads to show where they're hurting us. Show them the DA now made us defense less and stripped"

Half hour. 10 minutes. 2 hours. Don't matter. As long as you make that statement.

NYPD did that.

Sure i can ask Tree, tree why ain't you posted that? Taught them?

But why didn't NYPD pull out thier hands and say NBC, FOX. Where's them videos of what we use to do and so we can stop and make this shit right in the streets?

Thata all i did. That's all im doing now. Yeah I'm,the most brilliant and all

But the last since November i been telling y'all "shake them tail feathers"

How is Gary Trump's brother going into human trafficking for 24 years to be found by me. Then murdered by his brother that took his name and lied about who he was? And his brother didn't care. He said "ill go by Gary. It don't matter. Hes worked hard under my name"

How is the ACTUAL Donald Trump not allowed to be in a Black Lives Matter movement? How come no one is shaking their tail feathers to a man killed by the government for greed and white power?

The faux Donald Trump that is our impeached President is a racist.

So why isn't his brother being named? Black Lives Matter.

One person says "Let's Shake Our Tail Feathers".

Dont matter if you believe me. Its the movement. Quite literally.

Its confusing and alive and can make us all sick. It is its own plague. "Shake ya tail feathers" it's a mental plague if you refuse truth.

Regardless how i named it. I still taught it and spoke it. And led y'all to dance it.

Bye bye stress. Bye bye human trafficking.

Bye bye inequality.

Instead it's crazy

It was already planned to be crazy. Burning down buildings calling them Liberty Torches.

Civil Rights . Civil Liberties . take No Justice/Fairness and make it a sight to behold.

Is it fair to me financially to burn down my own economicially profiting legally businesses to make a Park and Garden where you can get fresh and,free vegetables and fruit for life? HELL FUCKING NO.

I got to pay security and taxes and i don't get a single domestic dime in return.

Kids go play on my slides and swings and wear them out having too much dam fun. Then i gotta spend More Money to make sure i am making sure they even get a single second to know what fun is.

I spent my whole life working. Every dam day.

One day I went out and I was 18 years old and i heard laughter. And i didn't know what it was. What made people laugh? How could people even be happy? Or want to laugh?

I was 18 years old. Didn't under stand a human thing.

And it just kept going and going and going. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to do whatever it took. And I didn't know why. Because i got my car keys out and opened my car door the second time that day. This time to make it stop. I put my car key between my fingers. Next thing i knew, I was sitting back down. And starting the car. Obviously my mom knew I was crazy with worry. And lost my mind. Shoved my ass back in the car and said "no you're just gonna leave and leave those innocent people alone"

I was so angry and bitter. And now my life is even worse.

If I couldn't attack them people. No one else can attack innocent people in public.

I don't care how fucked up you are. YOU CAN'T ATTACK SOMEONE FOR THEIR FREEDOMS.

Laughter. Black Lives Matter. Blue lives MATTER. All lives MATTER.

Some ignorant fool was arguing with a store clerk saying how her Black Lives Matter sign offended him

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Why can't y'all see and accept that?

We can't we be one. One truth.

One life to live

I can't live as Cleopatra or anyone of my past lives. I can't even live the life I led in the 90s. I can't even walk

We have one life to live and this is it.

So do we kill each other? Or do we protect each other?

Why aren't we being One?

When you're alone you can think of only you. You realize how important you are. We all need alone time.

When im with you i can only think about how important you are.

There isn't enough room in my brain to say how important we both are at the same time unless we do and think and act the same way all day long. Even for twins and clones its impossible.

So in my brain and in yours. You can only think about how much ONE life matters at a time.

ONLY ONE LIFE IN THIS WORLD MATTERS. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!

We. Our. Us. You can't stop a great combination.

Power and love = unified. Unity. United.

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Stop the pain. Hold our hands. Let the love flow. Let the Heart speak until it sings.

So yesterday old Blackfeet and Regina didn't see each other for the DUMBEST thing. She said "oh baby ill move in the nursing home with you"

He says something all "nonsense that's dumb shut up" all Grumpy Bear.

I don't even want to be with you.

So i talked to Michael about their unique situation.

He could had said "I'm well enough to move into a regular home with you. We don't need the nursing home. I moved to (US state) to be with you. To be close to you because you mean more to Me than Anything in the world. And you deserve a big ole castle. Because i love you and we gotta do all this best and right. No nursing home. We got another 50 years plus i wanna be doing you on the kitchen table and not here. All I can smell is stinky old man diapers from the neighbor"

And she could said had he continued the fight "oh idk what I'm saying I've never even seen the nursing home. Do you mind i come visit you there? Id really like that"

It would taken ONE. Only one to stop their ninny war.

And they would been holding each other. With love.

Instead of living in Hell.

So, now what happened was we put it all on old dad. Because hes the Black Beethoven who can suddenly sing a ballad of symphony in the midst of telling some real bad history truth.

Then moments later Regina said "well i could said something different, too".

It takes two to tango.

So I challenge y'all to punch inequality in the face. BLM. there is no difference between.

Black. Blue. Red. Purple. Yellow. Green. All bruises.

Challenge each other. Black and blue.

Force it. There is no difference and it must be seen.

Chant it. Turn on the "Boombox" and dance together. Dance if some won't. But do it in their face.

Laugh. Be happy. In their face.

If they're bitter like an 18 year old me and don't have a Angel Mommy to bust their ass back down into a sitting position. Someone will beat the shit out of them. Someone will stop them and i Will go after them and send you services for legal and medical. Free.

Acknowledge.

You are hurt. I am hurt.

Lets Live. Lets be happy.

Lets try. Trying makes perfect.

"MOVE BACK"

"TAKE THAT FIRST STEP"

"MOVE BACK"

"SEE WE ARE HURT SAME AS YOU" point out the ones that have fear. The ones that try to intimidate. -- The I Can See You -- let them scream in your face youre nothing but a piece of shit. And yell back they're someone inside a police uniform. And you can see it.

Beat their asses like fucking Care Bears.

Teach you a little photography. 1. Dirty lens. Dry skin. 2. Lotions the skin. Hannibal lectur. 3. Cleans the lens. 4 & 5 close up with flash. 6&7 close up without flash.

After meeting some kids in college. Native Americans from tribes near Gallup. Very very. Very Racist.

I began to question my life long believe of how I could live with being a military based person. And being an Native American.

I didn't know. I just knew i could and it wasn't fair to me to destroy the very being of me. Simply because it don't make sense without actual factual historical documents.

Remember Oregon Trail was First. That made Atlas.

Then down the coast to find gold. So NM DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT NO FUCKING TRAIL OF TEARS SO GET OUT MY FACE.

And so my owl... Its every thing. I didn't design it normal. It has wings that are out stretched yes.

But it has a secomd pair of wings. Which are pins from the United States Coast Guard. Those wings are like hands. To do things close by to the body.

Its slightly designed after a Hindu God. She has 6 arms.

Here the wings are keeping the body warm and safe and sound.

How could myself own an owl to represent my secret past of S.Leigh if it can't have hands to represent both my heart and mind?

There figlirliee on the head. That's not for me. Its because I think about you. The mass population of Earth.

I need more simply than what the Earth can provide in the reality of which exists on Earth.

There's an hour glass of water on it's side, traveling... My baby bird is flying with an hour glass.

If you look. You'll see a woman under and between the two shields. And she has "duck lips"

For the real "Not Gary Donald Trump"

Her lips are actually a heart. But they look off..

A rose each sits above the shields. A diamond in the midst of the tail feathers.

No piece

No area.

Is just a feather. A stroke of color.

Each is an item. There's no nothing. It is all something

The military did not just beat us and we took it as Muscogee Creek Nation. We built an Atlas. Recivejed the City of Atlantis -- the Spain sent supplies to help us for years. All the way from Florida.

There was Something. It all wasn't nothing

Or for nothing. Everyone looks for the truth. Looks for the Lost City of Atlantis and i am the one who sunk it. Because I am the Goddess.

The diamond has a purple eye. Diamonds are the hardest and toughest known substance.

Well i know my mind is gonna cut you and rip you apart from what I've seen. So my eyes are like diamonds. My mind

Our tounges are diamonds. We can slash each other apart.

Or we can acknowledge the riches we have.

My Ultimate Challenge is for the police to create a barricade when necessary. No weapons in hand. Hands on the top of their heads and chant BLM Bruises are the same.

We know black bruises hurt the worst, the same level as red.

Then purple. Then blue. Green and yellow rarely do.

So please fight blindness and inequality with me.

And please post it on the national news and international news. So that we know as a world we all fight together

Whether it's in the couches or in the streets.

Thank you for trying.

[mybodyliberation]

Mooncup Review Part 1

There are some people who are not impacted by their periods. They are able to go about their business being their wonderful selves.

I am not one of those people. A multitude of things happens when I am due on. One of these things being the "Grumps" and phew child, do I get them bad.

I'm not a natural frowner or grimacer, (yes these aren't words but they are for the purpose of today), so when I catch myself grumbling over something sometimes rational, mostly irrational, I know the Grumps have arrived do too will my period.

If you'll follow me on instagram you'll I now last month I was all about period talk on my stories. We wanted the tea and we wanted it now!

What was everyone predominately using, what were our cycles like, were we using any birth control and did we have anything that made our periods harder to deal with?

The census was that mensutral cups were extremely popular, moreson than I anticipated and I want to take a moment to stan all the environmentally aware babes out there having super ethical periods.

I love that we have so many options for what to use during our periods now and it says a lot about where we are heading as a society, though it will be cute when periods are no longer taxed...ahem. *stares directly at camera with utter sass*

Anyway the point is I was tired of using the same old methods of tampons and sanitary towels. As a performer it's often such a pain in the neck having to run to sort yourself during a show and I wanted to banish having to stuff multiple tampons in my backpack just to survive the day. I also know how damaging tampons and pads are environmentally because with the use of plastic it takes years to break down. Yall not to mention its actually not great for our vaginas and that is just the grown up tea.

So with all of that I have been waiting to transition to something new and since I turned 29 this year I realised it was time to suck it up and make the changes I know are right for me.

Enter, the Mooncup!

Truthfully the only reason it's taken me this long to try and mensutral cup is because I am a big baby and overthink. So as you can imagine I'd fashioned several horror movie type scenarios in my hear about what the experience would look like.

Truth be told...it was nothing like I anticipated (no Quentin Tarantino scenes happening during my cycle).

Now background information on a brand is important and so I will link their "About" page because o feel like they articulate their story perfectly themselves. https://www.mooncup.co.uk/who-we-are/our-story/

Now when we got in touch with each other the folks over at Mooncup suggested that the best way to trial the Mooncup was to use it over a period of three months. So you guys will follow me over the next few periods as I give this a go!

It's amazing to see a brand lead by women make something for women. It feels empowering and important and I truly feel like extra care is taken.

Before I get into my experience I think it's good to tell you that Mooncup has a dedicated helpline via email and telephone that connects you to a nurse that can give you proper medical advice and is truly the best asset when it comes to approaching using the cup for the first time. (advice@mooncup.co.uk Tel +44(0) 1273 673 845)

When you open up your box you'll find your cup in a sweet little pouch and an awesomely specific instruction manual on how to start with your cup.

First things first was to make sure I'd sertilized it and so straight into the put of boiling water it went for 5 minutes.

After I left it to cool I headed into the bathroom with my instructions to figure out how to insert.

My cycles can be investing in terms of my moods and symptoms. I feel like I experience every symptom possible on the spectrum and so having a stress free period is important.

I was nervous trying the cup for the first time because honestly it took me ages to even hype myself to try tampons all those years ago. So though the nerves were normal they definitely gave me more stress than necessary when it came to the cup.

So the first thing is, relax. I was rigid and clenched and the anticipation was very heightening to making the experience more painful as I tried to insert.

The first two days of using the cup had me feeling like a gymnast because it was like nothing I did was allowing the cup to insert without pain or super flexibility.

So getting accustomed to breathing and relaxing as it came time to insert the cup was paramount. The more you stress the less likely it will go smoothly and I know that sounds like a given but trust me if this is your first foray to this sort of thing, you're going to be wary.

There are two different fold techniques that the instructions suggest for helping for smooth insertion and I found that the best option for me was folding the cup in half. The cup ends up making sort of a smiling face and depending on the day of my period and if I was light or heavy inserting the cup as a smile or a frown made things slightly easier.

It also helps to make sure that the cup itself is a little bit of water on it because moisture is key for a smoother glide!

At first I was super aware of the cup after insertion, but I suppose the same would be the case when you first try tampons. It's a weird sensation to feel the suction holding onto the walls of the vagina but I promise that after a while you don't even feel it let alone think about it.

You should also know that the first days the cup itself feels very firm and stiff but it does start to give and become more flexible after a fee days.

For the first month this has been trial and error. They first few days I felt like I had conquered a mountain and very bad ass, but on the heaviest days of my period it was a little trickier and I found myself getting frustrated because I do have very heavy days and so making sure the cup was sitting properly for zero leaks took time. I also had to make sure I was clearing out the cup every 3 hours rather than every 4 to 8 because there were some accidents but listen, with tampons and pads the same sort of thing can happen, so I wore a pad on my heavy days as precaution and at the end of the day its learning to monitor your body and figure out what works for you.

Next month for the second cup trial I want to try coupling some period pants with the cup on my heaviest days because I've realised that just for my own peace of mind its better to have extra coverage in case of accidents!

Honestly for the first round it was a success! I thought I would be petrified and irritated and frustrated the whole time but I was much more relaxed and calm and its been really interesting process in getting to know my own body because lets face it, as a plus size woman there is a lot more to navigate.

So for my bigger boos, don't be afraid of your own body! If you need to do gymnastics, DO IT! Your body is capable of more than you think. So get your squat in or lift those legs or spread them!

I went to the gym twice with my mooncup in and I went HARD because we need to know what we can do with it. I didn't feel as if my movement was restricted and I didnt feel as if it would be moving or holding me back in anyway!

Going out in public with the cup in felt scary because truthfully I felt that as soon as I walked out the door I would bleed everywhere but that just didnt happen. I was able to go around my business. One of my worries was when I would wee that it would leak or move but that never happened once. And after the 4th day of my cycle I felt comfortable to take it out and empty and reinsert. Thankfully I was in bathroom after bathroom with sinks but in the future I do know its important to carry a wee bottle of water with me to be able to clean out the cup if I need to but I'm in an isolated cubicle.

Now for those who are differently abled please don't hesitate to use the service of contacting the nurse via the mooncup website so that you can get some safe and comfortable suggestions on how to insert the cup without worrying about hurting or disconcerting yourself.

I was shocked with how quickly my hands adapted to insertion and how quickly I became comfortable with having to do it. We are capable of change and adapting and I often forget that when I get stuck in a routine.

So right now the pros are without a doubt outwieghing the cons and honestly what are the cons because I'm saving money, helping the environment and I'm being kinder my vagina (cause no fibres in this boo)

So stay tuned my beauty! This was the first trial and I'm really pleased with myself for challenging myself and with the cup for being my new assistant.

Watch this space for part 2!

[survivor-guyana]

Episode 3 - "I am like... a very good person." - Nikias

I forgot what i said last but this tribe swap was very good for me. I kept two allies Mitchell and Sarah. But also Aidan and Dani were in my “best fucking people ever” alliance so thats good. We have a fav Jenna with us. I dont want to lose but if we do its gunna hopefully be her. Im sorry but u guys are up by 2. 👀 keeping eye out for Jones and Tim.

I was honestly sad about the swap because i liked my tribe so much. However, im excited to see how this all plays out. It seems like we got active fans on our tribe so hopefully group challenges will work well!

TRIBE SWAP HAPPENED FUCK originally I was gonna sue the hosts,,, ORIGINALLY I was gonna file a restraining order,,,,, but,,, the more I thought about it,, and the more I talked with everyone on my "new tribe",,, I'm feeling okay? which is SHOCKINg for my standards let me elaborate,, I put "new tribe" in quotes because is it REALLY a new tribe when 5 of the 6 people are from the same original tribe? The tribe consists of myself, Nick, Tim, TJ, JD, and Nikias. Which is GREAT for me for a whole list of reasons... I don't think we'll lose as much because we have comp threats like JD and Nick on our team. If we DO lose, we have an easy boot in Nikias. And if we lose AGAIN, I'm in a 3 person majority with Nick and Tim (and maybe even TJ too) .So no matter how this swap ends up, I don't think I'll be the first person booted if we go to a tribal council at any point. which is GREAT. Actual now that I think about it, if we never go to tribal, that would be even more incredible. Because I think I'm doing a decent job at pulling Nikias onto my side. I don't think he's a bad person, and if we do lose, it would absolutely SUCK because he's really cool/could be a good ally down the road. actually now that I think about it,, I've talked more with Nikias in one night than I've talked to JD in a week? is that saying a lot? I think so. I ACTUALLY MESSAGED JD TOO and she was like "can I get back to you later? I'm busy" WHICH IS FINE and it's a lot better than leaving me on read BUT LIKE,,,, okay Jan. If I WERE to hypothetically go to tribal,,, I'd much rather see JD go than Nikias, but I'm not sure if I can help that? It really depends on what everyone else wants to do, because I don't really wanna stray away from the majority of the group at the first tribal I go to yk? Like,,, everyone on the tribe knows she's good in challenges, and if we ever LOSE a challenge, why get rid of the person who's best at challenges? IDK. hopefully we don't go to tribal at all? and I don't have to worry about losing ANYONE? that'd be great, thanks! god why couldn't i have been switched onto a tribe with Jose, thinking about this would've been WAY easier.

So the swap: I feel really good about the swap bc 4/6 people in it are in an alliance. First of all, I want to win the challenge. Second, if we don’t win the challenge, I’ve wanted Mitchell out for a while now and I think Jenna will vote anyone to save her ass. I just hope the others stick to our alliance. It would be completely idiotic for them not to bc we have the numbers already, but who knows

SO THIS REWARD CHALLENGE IS scary,,,,,, not because I think I'm gonna lose or anything,, but it's because I think I have an actually decent score? Idk what Obey the Game standards are, but I got to level 108. which SUCKs if it actually is a good score, because I'm not too sure if I want to win this challenge. I feel like i'm in somewhat of a good position right now, and I don't need the idea of having an idol clue putting a target on my back. I have other people on my tribe (and on other tribes) that would share their clues with me,, I don't need people to know that I have one. hopefully that makes sense Best case scenario: Nick/Tim win - and they share it with me either way Maybe Okay Scenario?: TJ/Nikias/I win - not sure if either TJ or Nikias would share it with me, and I don't want to the target on my back. Worst Case Scenario: JD wins. She won't share it with me. And she probably wouldn't say anything if she won lol. so lets LOSE THIS THING, BABY, WOOHOO

Tribe swap... Tribe swap... Tribe swap... Tribe swap...  I still don't know how I'm personally doing in this game. This tribe swap is either going to make me or break me. There are four people from the other tribe and literally the ONE person I didn't want on my new tribe from my old tribe.. is honestly the ONE person I got stuck with. Is this some sick joke? Am I being Punk'd? Is this some sort of karma for being a bad human being from time-to-time? It's always hard to figure out what exactly my game plan is going forward. I'm honestly terrified of having a bad score and being voted out because I'm a weak-link. It's so much harder when you lose and there's only 5 other fucking options. I guess as of right now I'm trying to focus on making some social bonds. Sammy gave me that super idol so hopefully there is something there... Alyssa is basically me if I was 21, American, and like super pretty. Chelsea has some potential and José is a stoner like me? So I can work with this.. I just need them to want to work with me....

FUCK THIS PARANOIA OKAY I gotta give myself a lil more respect I've been freaking out for like,,,, 7 years now about who my "number one" should be - whether that be Sammy, Tim, Alyssa Nick TJ etc etc etksjadslfk the only person that can be my number one is me I can't keep looking out for every single person in this game - sure, it's nice to have people looking out for me, and I can always reciprocate it. But my top priority will always be the betterment of my game. I can't devote so much trust to so many people. If I had to rank the people in trust that I've met thus far (from most trustworthy to least), it would be Sammy > Tim > Alyssa > Nick > TJ > Nikias > JD > Jenna > Chelsea > Jose. So yeah.  This is Guacamole Jones' Decree of Solitude: I will resort to writing down all of my info (so I never forget) I will be honest with the people that are honest with me. But I will not share this information with anyone, but myself. If anyone wants to open up to me, I will consider sharing a piece of my info but never the whole truth, and never anything more. I will share what is best for me. So I may receive the hypothetical One Million Dollars (- tax) Signed, (with love) Jones.

So I feel pretty great about my new tribe.  5 original favorites and only 1 fan.  Nik got 2 votes last Tribal and seems to be on the outs with his old tribe.  Furthermore he seems like a good dude who if I can protect may give me his full loyalty going forward.  I also was lucky to swap with both Tim and Jonesy.  I also have a deal with JD and TJ.  So if we have to go to Tribal I’m not sure who is best for me to vote.  I’ll likely let the rest of the group decide and play along.  I am trending towards a leadership role, which is good for building a resume to win but with 18 ppl left it’s kind of early to be looking that far ahead.  As of now it’s better  to just stay under the radar and not make any waves.

Well, this swap was interesting. I reconnected with a great friend in Nikias and think I have a solid ally there moving forward. I’m glad I get the chance to build my relationship with Jones and Tim more, and I’m excited to learn more form Nick and JD. Overall, I’m very curious how this is going to go!

So how do i feel about my tribe swap? well in one word pretty weird.. The thing is that i am in a situation 5-1 which is pretty scary and it will be almost imposible to find cracks but on the other side i really like some people on this tribe. I feel like if i can make connections and play the card that i was on the bottom on the other tribe and that i hated my tribe, that could make them feel more secure with me. Its like i am in a bad position but it's a new begining in this game but i will just try to put myself in the best position possible. I am gonna try to be as carefull as i can be with my words and be better socially and work with people that are working together. But what is the best thing and the worst thing at the same time is that these 5 are strong competitors and i am like... a very good person. They can help me stay safe by winning immunity, but there is no doupt in my mind that i am gonna drag them down in the challenges and that's a really good argument of getting rid of me apart from being the only fan there.

ok soooo I have been talking with a bunch of peeps and I am trying to get a solid group that I can rely on.  I am super tight with Jones and TJ and I have talked a lot.  Also I am trying to get close with Alyssa.  Anyways, I think I have covered my ground with the active people.  Jenna is on and off a lot so I am not sure how well I can depend on her in the future but ya never know.  I feel bad for the fans tribe too tbh bc like they really flopping lmaoooo.  I hope there is a swap soon so that I can meet new people but also switch the game up a bit.  ILL TALK TO YALL LATER

So I go to bed early, cus I'm super tired from the competition (no I will not stop bragging about it lol) and when I work up, we won the challenge but i have like... 3 less people on my team. No need idea what happened. But I like it..oops to the person I'd just made an alliance with who is now on a tribe alone.... Was that one in the Alliance? I'm gonna have to check that lol the host are amazing, you've all been so go to me while I've been super busy, sorry of rigging me an idol, and trust me... I asked :( they are to good lol

I am a little it annoyed with how this game is going for myself, I am not sure if I want to trust Nick as much as I did before, we will see I suppose. But something that struck me funny is that out of 6 of us on this tribe 5 went to search the Rainforest, and I was the only one that went to search the mountains. Now, the only thing I can think of is that the clue had something to do with Water, close to it or around it or, like 'hey, dont get wet'. BECAUSE GUESS WHO FOUND THE IDOL? The one that didn't go to the rainforest, the one that didn't know anything about the clue! But I found it over by the stream on the mountain sooooo that is what I assume the clue said.  Anyway, I'm feeling really on the out's and right now I am only really liking talking to Jones, I know its not just about liking to talk to people but you gonna have something to talk about right? *sigh* anyway, sad JD here, sitting on the outside of her tribe, but still bringing home the challenge cus I was the only one that did the rap part in the Riff-Off. I wish I could say like, Canadian gotta rep that Drake, but I dont know much of his shit but I love that part of the riff-off (sunglasses) ((((  https://dumielauxepices.net/sites/default/files/sunglasses-emoji-clipart-oversized-784794-395105.jpg   ))))

(half of this is yawning)

So this Immunity challenge my team didn't work together very well.  We picked IMO a hard song to build a theme and story with.  In addition I was a very weak teammate this round.  I had a bunch going on and didn't record any video.  I tried to give input in ways we could be creative... but all in all I was one of the weakest links to the losing team.  For that I am a little nervous.  However I think I am in a good spot with Tim and Jonesy.  I have shared my idol clue with them and am working on building a trusting relationship to help me get to the end.  IN addition I've been having good one on one talks with JD, TJ, and Nikias.  I don't think my name is coming up from any front as a result of the work I'm doing sharing info with them all and making them feel apart of my gameplay.  TBH I don't know who to vote.  I like Nik alot and I believe him when he says he is on the outs with his old tribe and I think if I saved him he would be in my pocket for the rest of the game...  but I also think voting out a favorite could make me a target in a new swap to a group of favorites that want revenge.  So, really no reason to make waves.  Prob going to have to vote Nikias because it makes the most strategic sense.

Well that was a rough first week, back to back to back losses and tribal councils. Thankfully I wasn't among the first two leaving the game, but before we could even reconnect after Bee's departure, we were  thrown into a swap unprepared. Desperately wishing that my alliance had planned for a swap this early, but we were all thinking it wouldn't be for another tribal or two. My tribe broken and divided, I was lucky to land in a tribe with a majority of fans, while three of my tribe mates were thrown to the wolves in the other two tribes. Im worried that our success in the last immunity challenge, will be the death of Nikias, as he's the only fan in his tribe.

Shit I almost forgot to confess!! Im so glad that my tribe consists of mostly OG favorites and one fan! Im also HAPPY that I got to swap with Nick and Jones. At this point she's my number 1 ally. Together we searched the idol system but found NOTHING I'm- . 

We swapped this week and have 5fans/1fave AND we aren’t going to tribal this week. Life is good

Omg we swapped and I’m on my same tribe basically. 5/6 of us were originally on arakaka. But we finally aren’t going to tribal so thank god!! Judges were harsh though because we tried pretty hard okkk. Anyway I love the tribe still.HAPPY??

I think getting the numbers at the tribe switch is a blessing and a curse. I'm glad I'm with most of my "alliance" from the first tribe and definitely glad that I'm with Dani but I think it's going to give me this facade that I'm Arakaka strong until the end and I'm not sure. Playing in this new ORG environment where I don't really know anyone makes me feel like playing with no regrets. I don't owe any of these people anything and I trust absolutely none of them at this point...... I'm warming up to Mitchell more and more but I'm not sure how he fits in with the others. I do think he'll be loyal but who knows. I don't want to fry his chickens up in a Popeyes three piece just yet. As for Jenna... she's funny but bland with me? Maybe I need to try more but I'm threatened by her social game. But apparently she got 20th last time? I don't know how to feel about her. I think somebody on the ther tribe mentioned knowing her or being threatened by her. Maybe her scores were good? I have no idea but eh. At this point I just want to find a core three to move forward with but most of these people suck and I don't know if there already is one. 

So I've been with my new tribe for about 3 days now and I honestly still don't 100% know how I feel about this whole tribe swap ordeal. I PERSONALLY like the people on my new tribe better. My new tribe members are more personable (with the exception of José) and I don't feel like I'm wasting their time by talking to them like I had previously felt on my old tribe. As of right now I do feel a tad bit more comfortable with Devon. He gave me his idol clue but I'm not too sure if he's just really trying to make me fall for this or not? Maybe he has already found the idol? WHO KNOWS? Alyssa is super fucking cool. We don't really talk about the game as much so that kind of scares me BUT there hasn't been a lot of game to talk as of yet? SO maybe that will change going forward (I hope so). Alyssa is someone I can see myself working tbh. Alyssa and Sammy are definitely the two from the old Horososo Tribe who have reached out to me the most. They are the social King and Queen of this tribe. CONFIRMED. Knocking on wood here.. BUT if we ever go to Tribal MAYBE just MAYBE they'll not vote out José and not me? Praying to Gaga.

I won reward which was the idol clue. It doesnt really help me much but it does say there are other items as well in the game. And we won immunity whichbis great. Im so happy not having to go to tribal.

moooood ok i don’t mind the swap bc everything’s going ok and im still not pming people meidgjskdkf but the comp went rly good!!! we came in second but i found out there’s three tribes so it’s ok! judges think there was literally too many ads and it wasn’t the challenge but have u ever seen a full video without ads on youtube lmao

So my file corrupted on my original video for the challenge but I was able to submit something thanks to Jonesy. We lost anyways lmao and it looks like the vote tonight will be Nikias. Sorry pal but the numbers are just there.

I’m going on a date tonight so I’m case I don’t get to submit a video tonight, I just want to be VERY clear: I fucking LOVE Jess and would DIE for her. F2 homie vibes

So pretty much, I've been pretty much invisible the entire week, and it's been great. I'm letting my tribe drag me for now, and personally, i think with how things are going, we're going to continue to win challenges, and I don't have to worry until I reach another swap, which at that point, personally, I'm just going to go all in and people are going to be like... where did this bitch come from? LMAO

I couldn't be more happy to be on the strongest tribe! Sammy and Alyssa are quite close, but they are also tight with Chelsea. That leaves 2 options: 1. Get them to vote out Jose, based on inactive attitudes. He won't supply them with any use later down the road. 2. Get Jose to draw rocks with myself and Jess, leaving the odds in a 1/4 against me going in rocks. I'm torn on what the best strategy is, but for now, I need to establish the best personal connections possible and hope our tribe secures immunity all the way into the next swap/an eventual merge.

it's too late to come up with a jones pun, but,, JONES