#LUNCH is the best thing ive ever listened to in my life btw

[tennessoui]

Pleaseeee do 43 or 46. I love your work btw

(insert months late panicked noises about how I thought 45 was 'falling in love with best friend's partner' and so wrote hold me fast for it, but actually 43 is 'falling in love with best friend's partner' very whoops very my b)

so i did 43 again anyway, but in a modern au and where the couple is actually in love (but it is an obikin happy ending because kit did write it)

(wife is unnamed the entire time so no character bashing it could literally be anyone ive been calling her rebecca in my head lmao)

43. Falling In Love With Best Friend's Partner (2.7k.......)

Obi-Wan’s kettle goes off with a whistle right as there’s a fierce banging on the door. He almost drops his favorite mug in surprise, which puts him in a bad mood from the get-go. But for the love of Christ, who would come call at his house at nine at night? It’s more than rude; it’s downright indecent.

He stalks through the house until he can unlock the door to give the person on his porch a piece of his mind, but then he sees who it is.

It’s Anakin, and he’s crying.

If there’s anything that can make Obi-Wan quiet his temper on a normal day, it’s Anakin Skywalker. A distressed Anakin Skywalker brings out every ounce of his compassion.

“Anakin?” He asks immediately, stepping forward to touch the man on his arm gently and guide him inside. He doesn’t even have to suppress a sigh when Anakin doesn’t remember to toe off his shoes in the entry way--that’s how worried he is at Anakin’s tears and the way they only increase in frequency and sound when Obi-Wan moves his hand to his back and pushes him further into his house, all the way to the dining table where he urges him to sit down.

Anakin still hasn’t said anything resembling actual words yet, so Obi-Wan goes to the kitchen to make them both a cup of tea. It’s either that or give into the temptation to thumb the tear tracks off of his cheeks and that’s a little more revealing than Obi-Wan likes.

He’s not that brave, for one.

For another, Anakin is a married man. A man married to one of Obi-Wan’s closest friends, a previous grad student turned co-author of at least seven publications, with more on the way. He can’t risk tenderly wiping away her husband’s tears because Obi-Wan Kenobi has been at least a little in love with him since they were introduced four years ago, when he’d swanned up to him holding two champagne glasses in one hand and stuck out the other to shake. “My wife talks about you nonstop, Professor,” he’d said. “I used to be so jealous until I sat in on one of your lectures when I was still in school. Made sense then.”

Obi-Wan had not known what to do with that, but had taken the proffered champagne glass and assured this strange man he had nothing to worry about.

After all, Obi-Wan wasn’t the sort of man to chase after former students or people in marriages.

Over the next few years, however, it became quite clear to him that there was a big addendum needed in his moral code: people in marriages to former students drew his eyes apparently the way no one else has ever managed to in his life.

Or perhaps it was just Anakin. Perhaps it’s always been just Anakin.

Coming to terms with the shameful, quiet love he carried for a man who flirts like it’s second nature and always has a warm touch or word to bestow on Obi-Wan had been difficult, to say the least.

Anakin’s wife had been one of Obi-Wan’s closest friends. His inconvenient and persistent feelings for Anakin had turned her into one thing only: his wife. They could not be friends when Obi-Wan spends half his nights wondering what it would be like to sleep with his arms around her husband. They could not be friends when the last dozen times the married couple had invited him over for dinner, he had paid more attention to her husband than to the food or to the other topics of conversation or to her.

And she has to know. She has to know why their latest paper has taken eight months to write. She has to have seen the way Obi-Wan perks up so obviously when Anakin brings his wife her lunch, the way he has to turn away from their chaste kisses, the way he listens keenly to any information she gives him on her husband, the way he had excused himself from the room when he heard her tell another colleague that they were trying for children.

In academia, you learn fairly quickly that it is useless to resent someone for having what you do not. It seems that Obi-Wan has to learn this lesson all over again when it comes to people. It’s hard. It’s selfish. He hates that he loves Anakin. He hates that he loves Anakin the way he does, that it’s been four years and he still loves him, that not even his happy marriage, his love for his wife, the fact that his wife is Obi-Wan’s friend, can change it.

Anakin considers them friends now, which is so much worse and yet still more than a pathetic old man like Obi-Wan deserves. Worse, because when Obi-Wan had started rejecting dinners at the Skywalker household, Anakin had pushed back with worry. When he’d noticed that Obi-Wan’s lunch most often consisted of whatever cold cut sandwich was on sale at the gas station next to campus, he’d started bringing Obi-Wan a lunch along with his wife. When Obi-Wan had stopped responding to his texts, he showed up to drag him to a night out.

Worse, because being Anakin’s friend is nothing like being his husband, and the differences make him ache as much as the acts of kindness make him want to weep.

It’s still more than Obi-Wan deserves. He knows that intimately, the way he knows that nothing can ever happen between the two of them because Anakin loves his wife. And his wife--

“She cheated on me,” Anakin gets out between uneven breaths.

Obi-Wan promptly drops his favorite mug and watches it shatter on the floor.

“Oh!” Anakin exclaims at the loud noise, peeking around the corner, and looking like he’s about to offer to help. Obi-Wan shoos him out of the kitchen, and grabs the remaining mug of tea to follow him. The mess can wait for a later time.

“What did you say?” he asks carefully, nudging the mug over to Anakin, who wraps his hands around it.

Anakin blinks up at him wetly. “Don’t make me say it again.”

Obi-Wan drags his chair closer and dares to lay a hand over Anakin’s arm, watching his face for any negative reaction. Anakin just looks at it though, as if he can’t even comprehend it.

“Please, tell me what happened,” he entreats softly.

Anakin blinks and takes a sip of the tea. It’s chamomile, which is the only tea blend Obi-Wan knows Anakin likes.

“I, um.” Anakin clears his throat and reaches up to wipe at his eyes. Obi-Wan thinks his breath leaves his body for a second when he sees the slighter lighter ring of skin around Anakin’s fourth finger. He never thought he’d see what that sliver of skin looks like.

“I came back early from a work trip, cause. Um. Cause we’ve been having problems,” he starts with a quick side glance at Obi-Wan. “Just some fighting. Going to bed angry. I guess stuff you’re never supposed to do.”

Obi-Wan tries to arrange his face in an expression meant to convey that he definitely knows what stuff one is supposed to do in a marriage.

“So I thought I could, you know. Surprise her. But when I got in, there was someone else in the house. In our bed, Obi-Wan, she fucked someone else in our bed. I--” Anakin starts crying dropping his head into his hands and dislodging Obi-Wan’s arm completely.

“Oh,” Obi-Wan murmurs, at a loss for what to say. He settles for kneeling down next to Anakin and rubbing his knee. This is platonic.This is fine. This isn’t taking advantage of Anakin in this state.

Obi-Wan has absolutely no desire to take advantage of Anakin in this state, not when he’s so hurt and sad and in need of comfort. Obi-Wan just wants to provide him with comfort, but it feels like a grievous violation to touch Anakin like this willingly. It breaks one of his most cardinal rules.

But it turns out he’d break a lot of rules for Anakin, apparently.

Especially when Anakin responds so well to his touch, practically throwing himself out of his own chair and into Obi-Wan’s arms, tea forgotten on the table.

“How am I supposed to go back there?” He sobs into Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “I thought...we were supposed to raise kids in that house and she...she’s been...she’s been cheating on me in our bed--”

Obi-Wan tentatively strokes through his hair, adding pressure when Anakin reacts positively. He hates seeing him like this, so torn up and aching. He’d loved his wife, it’s so clear to see.

But Anakin has always struck Obi-Wan as the sort of person to put loyalty over everything else. For his wife to break his trust so suddenly and quickly must spell the death of his love for her. That must be what Obi-Wan is witnessing now, with Anakin, sans wedding ring, sobbing into his arms like this. This must be how Anakin’s love dies.

“I’m so sorry, Anakin,” he murmurs into the man’s temple, pressing his nose there at his hairline and inhaling as softly as he can. He’s disgusted with himself. He can’t help himself. He--

“She said she loved him,” Anakin sniffles, seemingly unaware of anything but his own pain. Obi-Wan gathers him closer at these words and rubs at his back, offering silent comfort. To have Anakin close like this is agony, but to be an appropriate distance away from him as he fell apart would also be agony of a different sort.

And if the last four years have proven anything, Obi-Wan will choose the agony that causes Anakin any modicum of happiness he can give him.

“She said--” here Anakin pauses and takes several deep breaths against the cotton of Obi-Wan’s now damp sleepshirt. “She said she didn’t when they started, but then I--I didn’t notice and it--she said it just happened, but--”

He breaks off and freezes in Obi-Wan’s arms quite suddenly. Obi-Wan stills his own hands in response. “But?” he asks, barely more than an exhale.

“But she said she couldn’t feel sorry about it,” Anakin whispers back, pulling away so that he can look at Obi-Wan’s face.

Obi-Wan stares at him, uncomprehending. Anakin’s wife is the unapologetic sort of woman, yes, but to be caught cheating on her husband and then refuse to apologize for the betrayal? That’s something else entirely. “What?” he stutters out in a completely unflattering way.

Anakin’s eyes glisten, but he purses his lips and flexes his jaw before he speaks again. “She said she couldn’t feel sorry about falling in love with someone else because it’s quite clear I’ve done the same thing. And--and she may have physically cheated on me first, but I’ve...I’ve been emotionally unfaithful to her for years now.”

Obi-Wan blinks quite a bit and very fast, tightening his hold on Anakin before pulling away just as quickly. “That’s absurd,” he spits out, trying to calm his rushing heartbeat. “Anakin, you’re the most loyal person I know. You would never--”

“She was right,” Anakin cuts him off, breaking eye contact with him to look over his shoulder and then down at...at his lips. “I didn’t even realize she was right until she said it, but. But I’ve been in love with someone else for three years of my five year marriage. I--I’m not who we thought I was.”

And his eyes well up with tears again and Obi-Wan isn’t strong enough this time from stopping himself from reaching out and brushing one of his tears away with the pad of his thumb.

“Anakin, you’re not…” thinking straight, serious, in your right mind, in love with anyone but your wife. “You’re hurting, Anakin,” he settles on saying. “You need to...sleep. To rest.”

You need to stop saying things that will break my heart in a few days when you realize you don’t actually mean them.

But Anakin has always been stubborn, especially when it comes to Obi-Wan’s demands. “Obi-Wan,” he insists, shoving his face forward so that their heads connect with a thump. “Obi-Wan, it’s you. It’s been you. For. For longer than I knew. For three years at least. Maybe longer. It should have been you from the beginning. When--”

“Anakin, please,” he finds himself begging, scrambling up and off the floor and away from this troublesome man. “Do not say anything you cannot take back. You are in distress, you’re not thinking clearly.”

Anakin follows him to his feet. “I need to say this,” he says, voice breaking. “Please, Obi-Wan. Let me say this.”

Obi-Wan has never known how to say no to Anakin. He closes his mouth instead.

“Before we even started dating, that’s when I sat in on your lecture. When we were seniors. I just wanted to see. Wanted to know why she liked you so much, measure up my competition. But then I liked you, more than I’ve ever liked a guy before. And it only got worse after I met you again, at that party, I don’t know if you remember, but. The days after, I drove my wife insane asking questions about you and your work and your interests and your hobbies, and I didn’t even realize I was doing it.

“You were just...you were so amazing. But I loved her so much I didn’t even notice I had any love left in my heart to give to anyone else, but then there you were. There you were and every time I saw you it was like...coming up for air. Like I was living someone else’s life and then sometimes I just got to be myself and it was only ever when you were around and--I didn’t know it was love until my wife told me tonight that she fucked another man because she couldn’t stand that I fell in love with one first, and I knew immediately who she was talking about. It was you. It’s...Obi-Wan, it’s always been you.”

Anakin closes the distance between them slowly, as if he’s giving Obi-Wan a chance to run. Obi-Wan does consider it, he won’t lie, but he stands stock still as if frozen to the ground. Anakin reaches up gently and wipes at one of his tears. Obi-Wan hadn’t even realized he started crying.

“Please don’t cry,” Anakin whispers through his tears. “I understand if you--if you don’t feel the same way, but I couldn’t be quiet about it once I realized. I don’t know how to love quietly.”

Obi-Wan does. Obi-Wan’s spent four years loving Anakin quietly, and now he doesn’t have any words left in him to love him out loud.

Anakin’s hand falls away from his face at his continued silence and he looks, if possible, more heartbroken. “I...I understand,” he murmurs. “You don’t feel the way I do. I--yes. I get it. I...deserve it.”

At this, Obi-Wan has to say something because it’s been one of the tenets of his world for years now that Anakin Skywalker deserves all the love there is in the entire universe. “No,” he says roughly, dragging the words kicking and screaming from the pit of his stomach. “It’s not that. It’s--”

Anakin looks at him with wide, wet, blue eyes.

“It’s that if you...if I say it and then...tomorrow you decide you don’t mean it...darling you have to know there would be no recovering from that, for me. I’ve been so obvious.”

Anakin blinks as the words register in his brain, and Obi-Wan can tell the exact moment they do because he inches closer and clutches tightly onto his shirt. “You’ve not been obvious at all,” he murmurs, eyes still shining, even as he directs his entire attention to his lips.

“What would I need to do?” Obi-Wan breathes, aching to wrap his arms around his waist and terrified that doing so will startle Anakin away from him. “What would I need to do for you to understand how much I...how much I’ve loved you for all these years?”

“Kiss me,” Anakin whispers, leaning down as if drawn by some magnetic pull.

Obi-Wan knows he will hate himself in the morning for giving in when Anakin is so obviously grief-stricken and looking for no-strings-attached physical comfort. And yet, he meets him halfway anyway.

[nad-zeta]

Match up! (◠‿◠✿)

hiya!! can i pls get a matchup for ikesen, if its ok? 💞

bi girl i prefer guys! ambiverted intp, gryffindor, n true neutral. i have an older twin sis n i love/hate her sm lmao!!

i have medium-length straight-ish black hair (w/ a side bang to the right) & dark brown eyes!! im 5'5-ish, fun fact: im a filipina!

sooo im a complex daydreamer!! i NEED attention/affirmation or ill feel unwanted/sad. emotional scorpio, im quite sensitive. anxiety, i overthink too much! quiet w/ people im not close w/. easily annoyed but guilty after ‘cause im soft-hearted. im like half funny/playful/kind & half deep/mature/awkward- hopeless romantic! i have a way w/ words, sorta poetic? i wanna be the best! sorta socially anxious, i have a fear of judgement. im not innocent but ppl think i am at first. i look fine but deep down im a big mess. rlly smart & knowledgable. vv passionate, big nerd actually! im like a kid w/ my twin but w/ others im more mature. im the type to do fun stuff and loosen up but would also just cuddle and have long convos. im vv good w/ technology! very imaginative, i come up with stories a lot- around others im very quiet because i literally have no idea what to say. actually a big history fanatic, hehe. i act confident but im not rlly, actually vv insecure and i regret a lot of things.

a habit of mine is that i tend to drift away and just… think? i also tend to care a lot abt my appearance! i get competative but there are also times when im just chill. i get vv embarrassed when i lose control tho n i regret it sm :(( i have loads of trouble asking for help even if i like to help others a lot! i like being organised but i tend to be… chaotic.

hsjsh- fun fact: there are times where im just,, super hyper n say the weirdest things? im good in school but,, im lazy yknow- i love math (surprisingly, i got a natural talent?), science (esp abt stars n space), history, and english (actually my 2nd languange but im very fluent) the most. bilingual but im also learnin french! wanna learn latin too tho but id break down- i have the fear of the unknown, failure, n loneliness! im scared of the future cause its beyond human ability to know,, the only guys ive rlly talked to r family members so my awkwardness goes 100x hsjsjs

oh, i rlly love affection, but i need a lot of space too, tho! girls gotta have privacy- games r a hUge part of my life, so is technology and the modern era! i actually like sports too- not very good at em tho :((

some likes: gaming, jokes (esp corny/stupid/puns), space, stars, weapons (esp swords/guns), philosophy, psychology, testing myself, affection, animals, doing exhilirating things, music, movies, books, writing, astrology, astronomy, learning new things, & mythology.

some dislikes: too much heat, school presentations, creepy dolls, being under pressure, dirty things, blind faith, & annoying people.

tysm! omg i hope this isnt too long- i think this is too long?? yIkes i hope that this is ok!! love ur writing btw! stay safe 💞

Hi hi love! thank you so much for the request! You sound like a wonderful person and omw it soooo cool that you have a twin! I actually think she sent in a request right after you did lol! Anyways sorry for making you wait sooooo long and i hope you enjoy it! @x-joie-x

 So i match you with...................... Mitsuhide

The first time you meet this sneki boy, you were quiet and reserved. War council had just ended and you were named as a princess of the Oda forces. You were super socially awkward, and anxiety was slowly starting to creep in, as the curious warlords started to surround you. It wasn’t until Mitsuhide had pulled you away in a teasing manner to save you from the crowd that you finally started to calm down. He had noticed this new little mouse had been on edge since arriving. However, he didn’t suspect you of being an assassin or spy as, during the whole council, your hands shook, and you could barely speak up against Nobunaga’s demanding and commanding tones. 

Mitsuhide had found you incredibly amusing from the first moment you walked in, you caught this foxes eye. He didn’t know if it was the innocence or naïve purity that just seemed to radiate from you, but for some reason when he was looking at you, he found that he simply couldn’t look away.

It took all of one day for all the warlords to officially drop all suspicions of you. You were just such a sweetheart how could they not instantly love you and feel the need to protect you. You had started helping a few of the maids that first morning after you were named princess. You didn’t want to be a freeloader, so you worked hard to earn your keep and soon, the maids were fighting over who would get to work with you cause all of then just loved and adored you so much. 

You got annoyed with Hideyoshi when he first found you helping the maids, as he was 100% started micromanaging you. You lost you cool and raised your voice at him, TBH Hideyoshi didn’t think anything of it, but it wasn’t until you had pitched up at his manor an hour later to apologize for being so rude to him that he realized what a sweet and sensitive person you truly were. Of course from that moment onward you had gained yourself a big doting brother.

All the Oda forces agreed that you were too sweet and naïve for your own good, so Mitsuhude was assigned to give you princess lesson to prepare you for your new life as Oda princess. You were super excited when Mitsuhide had told you that he was going to teach you a variety topics such as economics, politics, history and self-defence. You even managed to impress the sneki boy, by getting all the questions correct on the first test he had handed you. You had found that first test incredibly easy as you were a bit of a history buff, and all the questions had been based on Nobunaga’s history. This low key shook the sliver kitsune a little bit, as this proved that not only were you pure and naive but you were also super smart. You kind of reminded him a little bit of Mitsunari, a cleaver professor with their head in the clouds. 

Mitushide praised you for your ability to pick up on concepts quickly and work diligently as a student, “I dare say little one, you are the best student a teacher could ask for.” You spend masses amount of time with sneki boi, and through that time you realized just how sweet Mitsuhide truly was, although he was a massive tease leaving you a blushy mess almost every day after lessons with his teasing comments. And naturally, the more time Mitsuhide had spent with you, the more in love he fell. It was also noted by the fellow warlords that, Mitsuhide always wore a soft gentle expression when it came to you, and in your experience he had been a kind gentle patient teacher. SO naturally you found yourself more and more drawn to this mysterious man.

Through all the time spent with the kitsune, you found yourself opening up more and more. He was one of the few people that got to see your playful side. You now would make the puniest, corniest jokes he has ever heard, leaving this kitsune in a fit of laughter mid-way through a lecture. Not only that, but he loved loved loved your competitiveness side. 

This side of you slowly started to surface after the 3rd or 4th self-defence lesson when you started challenging the kitsune to rematches whenever he would pin you down, ultimately beating you in your little makeshift sword fight. Boy oh boy, don’t even get me started on the shooting lessons, once you were able to fire the rifle, you were straight-up challenging this boy, the best marksmen around to a shoot-off. “Come on Mitsuhide, the first one to get 100 bulls-eyes in a row wins, and the loser has to buy tea.” Needless to say, you always lost and even though every day you would make that exact bet, Mitsuhide would always insist on sticking you for tea and lunch as reward for being such a good student. 

He really enjoyed spending time with you and would absolutely insist on holding your hands whenever the two of you were on your way to the tea house together after your lessons. “I can’t have my clumsy little mouse tripping and falling now can I.” Every day without fail, he would say that to you as he wraps his big hand around your small one, while leading you to your favourite tea house.

The two of you would talk about everything and anything over tea, these topics ranged from you making stupid jokes, to talking about random topics such as philosophy and psychology. Either way, Mitsuhide loved to spend time with you. He would always listen to and hang on to every word you said, storing every word in his memory. 

You were his precious little mouse, and he knew you were an extremely sensitive creature. If anyone dared say a single bad word to you or make you sad, they would face the wrath of this very protective kitsune. Like one time, one of the visiting daimyos had talked down to you for accidentally bumped into him. You were busy cleaning the windows when you accidentally lost your balance and bumped into him. He was so disgusted that a mere maid had touched him. He started yelling at you and insulting you, this escalated to such a point that he even had his hand raised ready to hit you for getting dirty window water on his shoes. That’s when sneki boi decided to intervene. Mitsuhide legit stood protectively in front of you with his rifle pointed at the man’s heart, with the full intention to shoot. “Golly me it appears like you are quite the troublesome little mouse, my dear.” He then turned his sharp gaze towards the daimyo “I do suggest you apologize to the Oda princess, lest you want to answer for your crimes directly to Nobunaga.” The man simply scoffed and walked away. Mitsuhide then turned to you and enveloped you in a warm hug while kissing the top of your head, “Are you alright, my dear little mouse?” Mitsuhide looked into your beautiful eyes and gently took your hands in his, “Come little one, I have something I wish to show you.”

The two of you walked hand in hand to Mitsuhide’s manor, Mitsuhide led you out into his garden, where you saw something so beautiful you could cry. The garden was filled with flowers and candles and in the centre was a table set up, with a feast laid out op top of it. 

Mitsihide had told you that night that he was hopelessly in love with you. He was overjoyed when he had discovered that you like him, was also a hopeless romantic and that you had an incredibly poetic, romantic way with words. You handed him a letter in which you had expressed your feelings for him in the form of a beautifully written poem. You were actually intending to leave the poem on his desk as a way of confessing your feelings. This instantly melted sneki bois heart into a giant puddle and he couldn’t help but pull you in for a sweet kiss. 

After diner Mitsuhide had led you deeper into the garden where a fluffy blankie was sprawled out on the grass, he guided you to sit down and the motioned for you to lookup. Above you, a thousand stares were shooting across the sky in a big meteor shower. Mitsuhide pulled you into his arms and kissed your cheeks as the two of you watched the sky. He always remembered every detail you had told him about yourself, so when you revealed that you loved the sky and the stars, he knew he had to incorporate this rare meteor shower in your date somehow. 

This had sparked a new tradition between the two of you, to stargaze and spend the whole night in deep conversation. These nights were full of love and affection as Mitsuhide would pull you into his lap and just hold you there for hours and hours as the two of you talked and watched the sky

Of course sneki boi also had a bit of a spontaneous side, and would take you on exhilarating trips around Nobunaga’s territories. They were mostly missions but after you had nagged Nobunaga to give you permission to go along on the missions, you and Mitsuhide would finish the official work asap so that the two of you cuties had plenty of time to enjoy yourself in the new environment.

Mitsuhide loves everything about you from your slight messiness, to your love of learning new things. He also knows that his sweet little mouse sometimes needs some space and alone time and will be sure to give you as much alone time as you need to recharge. He knows that you will seek him out when you have had enough of your own company. He will always welcome you back with outstretched arms when you have had enough alone time, and shower you with endless amounts of affection.

Whenever you are feeling insecure or worrying about the future Mitsuhide is right there by your side, whispering words of affection and reassurance in your ears. He makes sure to remind you every day just how perfect you are and just how much he loves you. 

Often you can be found in sneki boys lap with your head resting comfortably in the crook of his neck as he soothingly strokes your hair. Don’t be surprised if this sneaky kitsune drops a few kissed on your nose, cheeks or lips during these quiet and peaceful moments, just as a way to convey how much he loves and adores you.

Other potential matches……………..Masamune 

I hope you enjoyed it dear and i hope you have the best day! 

[shirtlesssammy]

Hello, Cruel World: 7x02 Recap

Then:

Castiel accidentally swallowed some Leviathan

Now:

Things pick up right where 7x01 left off. Cas is gone, and his vessel is oozing more goo than normal.

He wanders off, leaving Bobby and Dean stunned. Sam, meanwhile, is 100% fruitbat, getting tortured by Lucifer. Dean and Bobby save him from his hallucinations, and all three head out in search of Leviathan!Cas.

Cas, now even more gooey than ever, heads for the water. The others reach the water’s edge just as he descends into the lake, like some sadistic baptism, turning into a vortex of black goo.

o_O uh, no thank you o_O

The good news? The leviathan exploded in in a reservoir that’s connected to the public water supply! Yay!

Dean then notices Cas’s trench coat in the water, and fishes it out.

He gently folds it, holding it close to his body, caressing it with all the pain of loss and words left unsaid (Ha, Boris can’t write. I leave that heavy lifting to the very talented Natasha.) (Natasha: just key smashes in pain.) Long story short: Dean holds that coat like the last memento of a dead loved one, because it is. Bobby and Sam both watch Dean with eagle eyes, and it’s sad. I couldn’t really see through all the water on my face though. Also, when he squeezes the coat briefly before the camera cuts away? Guh.

Sidenote: I can’t imagine being in the fandom this season!! Like, Cas was supposed to be dead, like dead-dead, like really, really, ‘Jared didn’t spoil this one’ dead. Dark times. (Natasha: I wasn’t in fandom but was watching live since season 5. I never believed he was truly dead so I believe I wasn’t terribly bothered. My heart is a lump of granite.)

And the leviathan make their grand entrance into society via a montage set to the Doobie Brothers’ “Black Water”....a little too on the nose show, but I like it.

Back at Bobby’s, Dean turns to what he does best: looking after Sammy. He makes him hydrate and protein-ate, and he checks his stitched up hand.

I’m a shallow son of a bitch, but concerned Dean lit like this is A+ aesthetic.

Sam confesses that he’s not doing well --he can’t tell what’s reality anymore. As Dean tries to wrap his brain around what Sam is going through, we get a better glimpse of Lucifer’s fun torture time for Sam. After all, “You can’t torture someone who has nothing left for you to take away.”

Meanwhile, girl!Leviathan finds an episode of Dr. Sexy and decides she wants to be a doctor when she grows up.

Bobby checks in with Dean on how he’s holding up. (Caring Dad feels everywhere!) Dean deflects.

Bobby calls out Dean with, “You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother’s in the bell jar, and Purgatory’s most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re – you're fine.” (Their little exchange of yoga and idjit, and their mutual little smiles is just beautiful. #bringbackbobby)

At Stockville High School, the swim team gets a surprise visit from a couple bloodthirsty purgatory monsters.

At Sioux Falls General Hospital, our very own Jody Mills is experiencing her own special kind of torture. While recovering from an appendicitis, she listens to her roommate drone on and on about dubious hospital practices. Dr. Sexy checks in with our favorite sheriff.

Back at Bobby’s, Sam caught the swim team case. Bobby and Sam convince Dean to check it out.

girl!Leviathan and Edgar (listen, I didn’t explain his entrance, but 6 years on, we know who I’m talking about) meet at a playground(!) and talk about the swim team attack. Apparently it was a bit unsightly, but the girl!Leviathan has an idea. Cut to the hospital. Dr. Sexy finds her and she makes quick work of turning into him. Kids grow up so fast these days.

At the high school, Agent Dean notices black goo and instantly knows what he’s dealing with.

Back at the hospital, Jody wakes to see Dr. Sexy secret off with her roommate. I think she’s starting to suspect her doctor is a monster.

She sets to checkout what fresh hell awaits her in her small hell-mouth town.

Dean checks in with Sam (and Lucifer) about the swim team. Goo? Check. Dean asks Sam how he’s doing. Aagh. Spoiler: He’s not doing ok.

Hopped up on gooooood pain meds, Jody continues to track her doctor, but when she sees him play a particular nasty game of Operation by eating her roommate’s liver, she runs, and faints in the hallway.

Jody wakes up in her hospital bed to the ministrations of her nurse. She sputters, starting to ask about Doctor Gaines, when he swans in, patting the corner of his mouth delicately. She quickly spins a lie about itching stitches and searching for a doctor to explain her presence in the hall. Doctor Sexy Leviathan leers at her. The moment they leave she rips out her IV and mutters “Kiss my ass, Doctor Monsterface.” Jody. Never change.

Meanwhile, Sam’s still trying to out-logic his hallucinations. If this is a dream, Lucifer should prove it by showing him the cage. Lucifer tells him that the Matrix only ends when Sam ends it...like ENDS it, ends it. Sam shouts at Lucifer to shut up, which really bolsters his narrative of doing fine when Bobby walks in. “You’ve beat the devil before, kid,” Bobby tells Sam. Lucifer, meanwhile, stabs Bobby in the chest. Not distracting at all.

Jody calls Bobby and tells him that her surgeon is a monster who ate another patient’s liver. “You and I killed zombies that one time,” she reminds him. He can help her. Bobby rolls out to help her leaving delicate flower Sam behind to man the phones.

At the hospital two swim team members and Edgar meet up with Doctor Gaines. Leviathan!Gaines gives them a tour of the facility. They can eat someone every day here since people die in hospitals all the time. The swim team members jump ship and become hospital staff, preparing to feast. Edgar moves on. He’s got other fish to fry.

Sam continues to clean guns when Dean pulls up. Dean grabs the open beer from Sam’s hand (DEAN) and fills Sam in on the status of the hunt. Dean demands Sam’s help while Bobby goes off to save Jody Mills.

Bobby wheels Jody out of the hospital and shuttles her away into a taxi. (After which, I am sad to report, we don’t see her for the whole rest of the episode.) Bobby then heads into the hospital to investigate the leviathreat level. He finds patients rushed immediately from botched minor surgeries to the autopsy table - a.k.a. lunch counter.

Meanwhile, Dean and Sam drive to the hunt, Dean asking after Sam’s welfare. Dean suggests professional help even though, “You are never gonna be okay, Sam.” </heart breaks> Not the kind of BM scenes we like to watch, dudes.

While Sam’s having his heart ripped out in the Impala, the real Dean arrives back at Bobby’s, calling for Sam. Oh thank god. Dean Bean may be going through a long dark teatime of the soul but he’s not so dark that he’s hurting Sammy. Sam is, of course, gone.

Sam and “Dean” arrive at a corporate building where fake Dean scoffs at Sam’s ability to deal. “You think this is an office building, right?” he asks, leading Sam into a nearly empty warehouse instead.

Fake Dean chuckles, then turns into Lucifer. Lucifer tries to goad Sam into killing himself to end the hallucination (always, btw, the most horrifying part of the djinn narrative).

Back at the hospital, Bobby falls into a big pile of nope when he’s interrupted by Doctor Gaines. The leviathan immediately recognizes Bobby - he saw him through the angel’s eyes. (MY HEART) Bobby tries to shoot up the doctor but only explodes his head into recombining goo. It’s enough to let him escape.

The real Dean pulls up outside of the warehouse he tracked Sam to and opens the door. Lucifer turns into a second Dean and Sam immediately trains his gun on the real Dean.

Dean talks Sam down. He reminds Sam that he’s been to Hell. Torture feels different than the pain of the real world. He pulls up Sam’s hand and presses the wound hard. Lucifer begins to flicker. Sam pushes the wound hard enough to make it bleed. “You’ve gotta believe me,” Dean tells him. “You gotta make it stone number one and build on it, do you understand?” Sam nods, still reeling from the experience.

The phone rings. It’s Bobby. He fills them in on Doctor Gaines and the leviathan threat and the boys head back to Bobby’s lot. They’re gonna be okay… And then they get to Bobby’s house. It’s been torched. Nothing but burned books (CRETINS) and no sign of Bobby. They split up to search the junk yard. Dean dials Bobby’s “direct hotline you should not have this number” phone and leaves the following totally okay not at all unraveling voicemail:

“You can not be in that crater back there. I can’t-- If you’re gone, I swear I’m going to strap my beautiful mind brother into the car and I’m gonna drive us off the pier. You asked me how I was doing? Well NOT GOOD. You said you’d be here. Where are you?”

Dean Bean.

Sam and Dean call for Bobby in the junkyard. Sam finds Edgar and Dean shoots Edgar’s head full of lead (but it doesn’t last long for those shifty little guys). Dean drops a car on Edgar just after Sam gets knocked out by a tire iron. Dean’s got a broken leg, an unconscious brother, a dead best friend, and - you know - suicidal thoughts. So season 7 is starting out super great.

Dean calls an ambulance which takes the brothers to - you guessed it - Sioux Falls General. Extra bonus, Lucifer shows up for the ride.

Back at Bobby’s lot, Edgar recombines...

Mississippi Quotes, Won't You Keep on Shinin' on Me?

Why would the devil holodeck you a whole new life when he could just kick your ass all over the cage?

I keep my marbles in a locked friggin’ box.

What am I chopped brains on toast?

We’ve got a whole lot of NC17 Schizz-nickel right over there.

Having a little bag lady moment?

Bobby Singer. My hero.

This discussion does not require a weapon’s discharge.

It’s like a salad, but with pie!

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[cynosurecosplay]

I love these things xD and this is a long one! Tagged by @vinsmoke03 thanks ❤️ THE LAST: 1. Drink: All water all the time 2. Phone Call: was with a nice lady from wbshop.com so she could set up the payment for a Constantine figure I pre-ordered back in February 3. Text Message: to my best friend just to greet her while I'm on lunch. 4. Song You Listened to: iridescent -- Linkin Park 5: Time You Cried: I cri all teh tim. XD oh! But we just watched Guardians of the Galaxy again. "We are Groot" gets me every freaking time HAVE YOU: 6. Dated Someone Twice: I've only really dated one person, so nope lol 7. Kissed Someone and Regretted it: nope lol 8. Been Cheated on: nope 9. Lost Someone Special: uhh... Don't think so. 10. Been Depressed: In some shape or form, yeah. 11. Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up: Ive only been a bit tipsy befote LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Jade, crimson, cobalt IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15: Made New Friends: online for sure, in person sorta...? XD 16: Fallen Out of Love: nope 17: Laughed Until You Cried: Every time 18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: Oh yeah. It was from way back in high school, but I found it hilarious. You think you know your "friends." Lol 19. Met Someone Who Changed You: I don't think so? 20. Found Out Who Your Friends Are: I already know 21. Kissed Someone on Your Facebook List: I mean yeah xD unless you don't mean who I'm dating? GENERAL: 22. How Many of Your Facebook friends do you know in real life: under half. I don't even talk to most of them lol 23. Do you have any pets: a dog, can, and bearded dragon 24. Do you want to change your name: never considered it. But nah I'm good. 25. What did you do for your last birthday: I think we went out? Or I just played games, idk. XD I was getting ready for Halloween anyway 26. What time did you wake up: about 7 when my mother came in my room lol then I got up at 830 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was finishing up on Overwatch. <<< Same fam xD I was doing some competitive matches with a team who straight up sucked 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Otakon! I am so pumped! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a little bit ago when she left work lol 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Not ever having to move again 31. What are you listening to right now: my iPod is currently cycling through the last of my Linkin Park lol 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I knew a Tom in high school 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: coworkers. Lol 34. Most Visited Website: probably Gaiaonline LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME: 35. Mole/s: beauty mark above the right side of my mouth 36. Mark/s: omg don't even get me started. I get cuts and bruises from work so often I don't even bother remembering. Plus I think my tattoo counts as a mark XD 37. Childhood Dream: I wanted to be an architect for a long time lmao 38. Hair Color: my natural color is brown. I think all traces of the red are gone at this point xD 39. Long or Short Hair: Shoulder length. I was trying to grow it out, but I'm not sure I really want to XD 40. Do you have a crush on someone: lol I'm in a relationship. So yeah xD 41. What do you like about yourself: my self confidence. I like waking up happy with who I am and where I am in my life. 42. This is the meaning of life 😶 43. Bloodtype: Haven't a clue xD 44. Nickname: Ash, Ashlex, or Waffle 45. Relationship Status: in a relationship with a cool guy ❤️ 46. Zodiac: Scorpio 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Gotham, Constantine, and Lucifer for sure 49. Tattoos: (Vin that sounds totally adorable btw) I have one! It's a cracked Robin emblem from Under The Red Hood on my forearm. Jason Todd is my favorite 50. Right or Left Hand: Right. 51. Surgery: none yet 52. Hair dyed in different color: only red or black. I reeeeeaaaaally wanna do bright blue though some day 53. Sport: I took Tae Kwon Do for 7 years 54. ~What is this~ 55. Vacation: the last real vacation I went on was when we went to Ocean City for senior week 56. Pair of Trainers: lol excuse me? MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I'm doing Keto so I just had burgers with cheese and mustard lol 58. Drinking: like I said, all water all the time xD 59. I’m about to: go back to work T-T 60. ~There is no 60~ 61. Waiting for: Overwatch to drop some lore for Zenyatta. (come on Blizzard!) 62. Want: An air brush kit. Soon as Otakon is over I'm gonna save up for it! 63. Get Married: do I want to? Some day, yeah. But I'm in no hurry lol 64. Career: I'm hourly at Walmart. Lol WHICH IS BETTER:  65. Hugs or Kisses: uh. 66. Lips or Eyes: Eyes I guess 67. Shorter or Taller: uh depends I guess? Lol 68. Older or Younger: how much older or younger? XD 69. Some one needs to be fired over these lack of questions 70. Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: I don't care either way lol as long as they are happy with themselves 71. Sensitive or Loud: those aren't opposites though? XD 72. Hook up or Relationship: Relationship, definitely. <<<Ditto, Vin. 73. Troublemaker or Hesitant: I don't like to start trouble, so hesitant HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: No 75. Drank Hard Liquor: I don't think so? I think what I've had isn't considered heavy but I don't know anything about it xD 76. Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: I lose my glasses too much xD when I wake up sometimes I just wander around looking for them. I can see without them, it's just a little fuzzy. 77. Turned Someone Down: for what exactly? I've turned a couple guys down who've asked me to go to dances with them 78. Sex on the First Date: no way broseph 79. Broken Someone’s Heart: if I have, it wasn't on purpose. 80. Had your heart broken: Nope 81. Been arrested: no way 82. Cried when someone died: I just lost a coworker about a month ago. Man. I still miss him. :/ 83. Fallen for a friend: I probably could have. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: obviously ❤️ 85. Miracles: For sure 86. Love at First Sight: maybe. I do believe in instant connections 87. Santa Claus: I believe in magic! 88. Kiss on the First Date: nah OTHER: 90. Current Best Friend Name: Shelby 91. Eye Color: brown, bit on the lighter side 92. Favorite Movie: god it changes. I love the labyrinth, the Lego Batman movie, Hellboy, Sweeney Todd, Under The red Hood, bro so many movies That's it xD the end! Flew by man. I'll tag a few lovely people @living-in-a-fantasy-world @the-ass-assin @ginacartoon uh anyone else can do it too xD feel free to do it or not! ❤️

[boo1a4]

Weird ass tag game lol

I was tagged by @sambashua to do this tag! Thanks so much for tagging me lovely! lets be friends! this tag is strange af btw.

Tagging some new ppl and some mutuals! : @min-yoongini @kae-popx @insecure-trash-bag @bubkwan @boosoftkwan @yeol-mints @choiyoungbayy

And anyone else who would like to do this! No pressure for those I tagged! 

THE LAST…

1.Drink: Orange soda 2.Phone call: my mama 3.Text message: “did you have fun?” 4.Song you listened to: Her- Block B I 5.Time you cried: Looking at Boo’s face most likely

HAVE YOU EVER… 6.Dated someone twice: Nope. 7. Been Cheated on: Nope   8.Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope 9.Lost someone special: yes. 10.Been depressed: Not recently 11.Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope. Im boring! 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: Cornflower Blue, Royal Blue, Crimson.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15.Made new friends: Yes! Work friends mostly! 16.Fallen out of love: nope 17.Laughed until you cried: Everyday! 18.Found out someone was talking about you: People just can't help it 🤗 19.Met someone who changed you: Everyone changes you in some way 20.Found out who your true friends are: Ive always known! 21.Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Hahahaha. Im good!

GENERAL… 22.How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 90% I dont see most of them on a daily basis though. 23.Do you have any pets: Yes just one pupper, his name is Loki! He's a chow chow! 24.Do you want to change your name: My name is good with me! 25.What did you do for your last birthday: I literally don't have a clue, I think I was working? 26.What time did you wake up: Like an hour ago? 27.What were you doing at midnight last night: Talking to my sister. 28.Name something you cannot wait for : Ive gotta also say ofd to be subbed! Its killing me! also seventeens comeback! 29.When was the last time you saw your mother: Last night! 30.What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I don't draw enough! I want to get better yet I never do it! 31.What are you listening to right now: Winner- Im Young 😢 32.Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I would assume I have Tom is a pretty common name here... 33.Something that is getting on your nerves: lol my life in general rn. 34.Most visited website: Tumblr for sure. 35.Elementary: ??? I went 36, High School: Lol yes 37.College: I think Ill go in the future. 38.Hair color: Medium brown 39.Long or short hair: Mine is like medium length. 40.Do you have a crush on someone: Not currently, lol I don't have time for that. 41.What do you like about yourself: I like most things about myself! 42.Piercings: None Im scared of needles 43.Blood type: I never been tested. 44.Nickname: Em, Emmy, M&M, Ermentrude 45.Relationship status: single 46.Zodiac sign: Gemini 47.Pronouns: she/her

48.Favorite tv show: MR. ROBOT!! go watch it! 49.Tattoos: Nope 50.Right or left hand: Righty 51.Surgery: Nope 52.Piercing: Once again nope! 54.Sport: Im not much into sports, I like watching the Olympics though, despite how terrible they are. 55.Vacation: Id like to visit Europe at some point. Particularly Germany and Italy  56.Pair of trainers: ?? like shoes? I dont know?? some of these are so odd lololol I like vans and converse. 57.Eating: I like pizza  58.Drinking: Water 59.I’m about to: Go make lunch 61.Waiting for: life to get less stressful  62.Want: to eat! I'm hungry! 63.Get married: Ya know I'm not really about that life to be honest. 64.Career: I dunno, Id like to do something with art but I'm not entirely sure! 65.Hugs or kisses: Hugs! 66.Lips or eyes: eyes 67.Shorter or taller: Either! 68.Older or younger: Either as long as its not to much of either! 70.Nice arms or nice stomach: It honestly doesn't matter 71.Sensitive or loud: A bit of both lol they really aren't opposites  72.Hook up or relationship: Relationship I guess 73.Troublemaker or hesitant: HESITANT af

HAVE YOU EVER… 74.Kissed a stranger?: No 75.Drank hard liquor? : No 76.Lost glasses contact/lenses? : Nope 77.Turned someone down?: Yes 78.Sex on first date?: No 79.Broken someone’s heart?: I hope not? 80.Had your heart broken?: Not for relationship reasons 81.Been arrested?: nope 82.Cried when someone died?: Yes 83.Fallen for a friend?: No.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN….

84.Yourself?: Of course! 85.Miracles?: Not entirely 86.Love at first sight?: No 87.Santa Claus?: No 88.Kiss on the first date?: I mean sure? I believe in it happens all the time its not like its a myth or something  89.Angels?: No

OTHER…. 90.Current best friend’s name: Kelby @min-yoongini, and Courtney! 91.Eye color: Hazel 92. Favourite movie: I really like big hero six and Star Wars, also captain america.

Well that was weird. 

[prinxiety-logicalitysanderssides]

1-97 NOW ITS UR TURN I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS MY MAIN U GOTTA SUFFER TOO

I. BLOODY. DID. IT. ITS TAKEN ME /TWO DAYS/ BUT I’VE DONE IT @princeyandanxiety and I’m tagging @use-it-ironically Ironi u do it too pls. I was subjected to this after I subjected Bella to this so now u have to.

Btw this is NSFW ( some of it) and mentions suicide/depression cause I went there. There is some serious truth tea in this god damnit. I put thought and love into this. And also memes but mostly LOVE and boredom. I also feel like I forgot to answer a question or two but whatever. This is 97 questions long. And it’s 2818 words.

By the end of this, you will understand that I am a wreck

Ask me things1. What’s your middle name? No.

2. What are you listening to right now? The sound of typing cause I’m not listening to music. Also the sound of my breath and the wind in the trees. V/ relaxing. (( that was yesterday, today I’m listening to MCR and sanders Sides videos at a loud volume on chromecast on my tv))

3. What was the last thing you ate? ¼ of a cup of icing sugar. I ate it out of the measuring cup lmao.

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mum. I do talk to other people, I swear! I’m just not good at phone calls

5. Do you drink? No and I won’t in the future. Lemonade all the way if I have to drink smth.

6. Do you smoke? No and I never ever will.

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Someone as in??? Random or??. In Randoms I usually notice people’s faces and then clothes, especially if they’re eye catching. I notice memorabilia/fan stuff pretty quickly as well.

8. What is your hair color? Brown but I use hair dye to make it partially blue or purple or red sometimes. It doesn’t work very well unless I bleach my hair and I can’t do that till I’m 16 which sucks. I use hair spray every now and again, I have white hair spray and glitter hair spray, and I used to have blue as well. Glitters my favourite . I also have a full rainbow of hair chalk but my friends and I dropped it at one point during the Hair Incident of Grade Eight which is what I’m calling it now.

9. What is your eye color? Blue/Grey ish. 10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope. My mum says I will if I keep looking at my screen for hours on end though. I don’t want glasses cause my 20/20 vision is serving me well and I like it.

11. Dogs or cats? Rabbits.

12. What’s your favorite animal? Rabbits/see above

13. What’s your favorite television show? Gilmore girls. Hands down the best.

14. What’s your favorite movie? I don’t really have one? Princess Bride, Sound of Music and the Captain America movies. Oh and Heathers.

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? I can’t choose but Alessia Cara comes to mind? Scars to your Beautiful? And MCR. And Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. I’m an emo nightmare tbh

16. How old are you? Bich no u can guess. I’m a minor tho.

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? No. But I want a girlfriend/datemate ( all the boys my age are awful and the girls/nonbinary people r better)

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual. To keep it simple anyway.

19. What’s your favorite color? Aqua blue/ the green of Australian forests

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Going up on stage in like,, grade six, for a talent show, that I decided to volunteer for THAT DAY and literally singing which is fine but I kept shuffling not dancing and the other kid I was doing it with was kinda dancing and we fucking sucked. But I’m at a different school half the city away now thank god.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Characters in stories, yeah, but like, I want to be in their universe, with their mind and my mind combined so I’m more them than me but I also remember that I want to give people a piece of my mind and fix the universe and make everyone happy but also have angst before that. I project a lot tbh. Oh well.

22. What were you like when you were a kid? I ran away from the class a lot, a ‘difficult’ and 'problem’ child. I have ADHD.

23. What would your dream house be like? Huge, I would want to have lots of pets and secret rooms and a big library and have it surrounded by country side and let scouts have camps near by and stuff

24. What last made you laugh? There were a few things but I forgot damn. But probably my bunnies antics I swear they r ridiculous sometimes( all the time) (( that was yesterday, today its sanders Sides videos again whoops))

25. What is your favorite word ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) its called a Lenny and I love it

26. What is your least favorite word? Poo. Or moist. Both are awful.

27. What turns you on? Coffee when I wake up

28. What turns you off? Sleeping pills

29. What is your star sign? Aquarius

30. What are your favorite books? TAMORA PIERCE’S 'The circle of Magic ’ quartet and all of its sequels and Tamora Pierces 'The Lionness’ quartet and her 'Protector of the small’ quartet, really, all of her books. Also the Obernewtyn series which is FUCKING AMAZING. ITS BY AN AUSSIE AUTHOR, ISOBELLE CARMODY WHO IVE MEET TWICE AND THEY R SMAZINGSOWNFKEFKWJCKD YES.

31. Do you have any siblings? Only child, suck it.

32. Do you like to dance?Yes, but I’m not a professional or up to date with the latest ~moves~

33. What is your definition of cheating? This is hard cause my definition is in my head but it’s hard to explain. I’m gonna try though.( ACTUALLY I’m gonna come back and write this later) (( lmao I never did go back and write this but it basically depends on what people in a relationship have agreed it to mean bc I’m tired and this is complicated))

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? No I’ve never dated anyone.

35. Do you regret anything? A few things. Not gonna get into them tho. I do regret not working harder in grade seven and eight.

36. Do you have any phobias? Not really no. I hate leeches with a fiery passion and there are spiders next to my shower which I don’t like but other than that, no.

37. Ever broken any bones? No and I’d like to understand what it feels like tbh

38. Ever come close to death? When I walk anywhere cause I’m yes. Does being suicidal back when I was eleven count? And the fact it recurs every now and again? Also

39. What is your religion, if any? I piece together my own world view, based on many philosophies and science.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? I’m going to one rn actually. School counsellor who is great and has lollipops and also let my friends and I play monopoly in her office all lunch. I lost. The bell was about to go so I just flipped the board upside down cause why not? My friends made me clean it up lmao 41. Are looks important in a relationship? Depends

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? I pray I’m more like my mum as my dad is an awful person tbh

43. What is your favorite season? Whichever one I’m not sneezing in/ when it’s warm/ I don’t really have one

44. Do you have any tattoos? No 45. Do you have any piercings? I did have normal ear piercings but they grew over

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? None

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Have you met me

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Thomas Sanders

49. Are you a virgin? Again, have you meet me. YES. Obviously.

50. Do you get jealous easily? Define 'jealous’. I mean, kind of. Not usually.

51. What is your favorite type of food? Pasta.

52. Do you ever want to get married?Depends, I mean, LGBT marriage isn’t legal in Australia for whatever fucking stupid reason ( the reason is homophobic pollies, literally 90% of Australia wants fucking gay marriage goddamnit)

53. Who was your first kiss with? Lmao I haven’t had one

54. Have you ever been cheated on? See above

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? ?'not sure tbh?

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extroverted introvert. I like meeting people and i have lots of friends but I also need my space. I’m an introvert.

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? After seeing the 'thingu’ video, I hope not. I do believe in other life but not as sentient as us? Well, at least I don’t think we will find any sentient aliens now that we elected trump tbh

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?Be a great dancer?

59. What is your saddest memory? Not today Satan

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can find someone aesthetically pleasing at first sight, at first talk, you can like them for their personality. So kind of? But not really. Movie love sucks tho. Unrealistic.

61. Do you believe in soul mates? Kind of. I wish we had a soulmate au irl

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? See above ( yes)

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?I don’t really look at gossip so??? No? They could be talking about me all the time lmao I got bullied from 11-13 years old but that’s different and now I can’t be fucking bothered to listen to bullies

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?Depending on the circumstances. I’m not evil. Very rarely would I ever do that and I have never actually done that.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? . My teachers think I have asbergers(autism) and I agree but my parents don’t . NSFW as hell?? I mean most people would look at my chumb face and think I’m innocent i would guess. . I want a datemate? Like I haven’t really acknowledged that but like every opnow and again this Year and

66. Who are you jealous of? People who get more likes than me

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?Yes, but only if my bed is clean IE It has been washed within the last week. Sometimes I don’t wash my sheets for a month and i don’t want to subject my Rabbit toy to that. She’s thirty-nine years old.

68. How long was your longest relationship? No

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?Half empty, I drank half the water.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Nsfw fanfiction for sanders sides. Nah, I don’t really know as I’m still in high school I’m in Grade Nine . So like? How would I know? (But seriously pls write more nsfw)

71. Who is your most loyal friend? My best friend Addy? ( she was the one we tried to comb her hair) or you people

72. Are you in a relationship? Ok this is getting annoying

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Come ON.

74. Are you a bad person? Depends. Is the scale puppies to trump or a grumpy cat to trump. Cause I’m in the low-middle of the first scale and at the bottom of the second.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? I wanna fite but I don’t bite and I’m usually just high as a kite.

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Like… nothing. Mum and I have to save money for scout camps ( there’s a big Venture I’m going on at the start of next year, AV2018) and I couldn’t be bothered to have a birthday party when I would have to have one just before or after term starts, my birthday is the 24th of Jan. Usually I have my party like a week after school starts again but I couldn’t be bothered.

77. What is your favorite quote and why? “I’m sceptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may” I got it off a screenshot on tumblr ALSO “What are you looking at?” “ Something Replusive” “I’m not a mirror Karen” from the fanfiction Iris Zero, my fav Hetalia fan fic about Romerica. Also “I’m hella pan with a hella plan” off tumblr.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? I would be a fucking wreck and I’m not gonna think about it.

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? If i went back and time and changed smth, i wouldn’t be me anymore, but I would go back and get a proper depression diagnosis bc we knew I had it but I’m a good actor so the doctors couldn’t diagnose the kid who was fucking suicidal great job Australia ANYWAY

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? My mum texted me this morning ( btw I did this ask over a couple days) with 'If you die today would you like the last thing you spent your precious life hours on to be tumblr??’ I responded with 'yes’ to be a bitch and also bc I kinda would? I would get all my friends and all of the food I wanted, write my will, etc. I’d go fucking ridiculous with what I’d do tbh. All the adventurous activities .

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? One time when I was 11, I had a dream I was a princess with a guy servant and a girl lady in waiting/servant and we were all bffs, ( looking normal so far lmao), and then we were getting chased around my kingdom by a guy with a floppy dick which was flopping around like a bendy/wobble pencil. Both friends sacrificed themselves to stop him and made me keep running away lol

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I don’t know

83. Who were you in a past life? The human embodiment of Anxiety Sanders

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?Lazy sunny days with my mum. Chores and relaxing. Cooking.

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Not,,,, really,, see above, I,, haven’t really had any experience with love

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? I don’t think so?

87. If you were the prime minister , what would you do? Fucking Marriage Equality, Safe schools is mandatory, sexual assault/homelessness/youth in crisis support is fucking fixed and improved, Scouts is connected to schools, primary school system revised, improved and fixed, high school system improved, counselling is better overall, science in all grades, maths teaching is improved over all, teachers can get constructive criticism from students and will LISTEN to them. Abuse is redefined as both emotional and psychical and people start to understand that, neurodivergents are fucking accommodated more, same for disabled people. Mental illness are listened to for fucks sake.

88. What is your ideal career? Engineer, scientist, musician, YouTuber, anything that makes me happy and makes people happy and supports people. I also want money tbh so A) i can donate to charity B) i want to transition and all I fucking love memey products.

89. What is your political affiliation?/90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal. When I vote, I will weight my options and choose which ever is the least awful tbh. I’m an intersectional feminist meaning I support poc, the wider LGBT+ community, feminism, people with mental illness, neurodivergents and disabled people.

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?Male doesn’t get periods so u decide

92. Do you like kissing in public? I’ve seen people kiss in public ONCE in my life so like?? Do what you want

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Unlike my prime minister answer, I’m thinking smaller here : everyone is allowed to transition/get married/ all LGBTAI+ rights are legalised

94. Where would you like to live? Huge house full of secret tunnels and it’s all waterproof and I keep rescue pets and secretly help refugees there so they can get a normal life again. There would be huge libraries. In the countryside as well. Tazmania probably. Or Melbourne in a nice house with my rabbits and datemate/s

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?I’d want to go on a world tour and meet all my mutuals and the people I am fans of.

96. Describe yourself in one word.Chaotic ( good lmao)(( jk every time i take that chaotic/neutral/lawful quiz I get lawful good but lawful good is was I aspire to be and chaotic good is what I am. ))

97. Describe yourself in one sentenceVery. Fucking. Complicated. Wreck. Who Loves All My Mutuals and Friends So Much.

[italianexotiicbeauty]

Cary and jary

otp question meme | @authoritativeprince / @thesamoanspear

[ CARY / pre-break up? yes. ]

Who is the most affectionate? - Mary, holy hell is she ever.

Big spoon/Little spoon? - Big Spoon = Colby. Little spoon = Mary.

Most common argument? Funnily enough?? How LONG she takes to answer HIS TEXTS.

Favorite non-sexual activity? VIDEO GAMES AND PIZZA.

Who is most likely to carry the other? ( Assuming this means in a physical sense... ) Colby definitely likes to carry her around, she enjoys piggyback’s to be honest.

What is their favorite feature of their partner’s? Colby’s favorite feature on Mary is her legs. Mary’s favorite feature on Colby is both his hands and his hair. ( I can’t explain that one, she just really likes how strong his hands feel. )

What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?I’d say general behavior around the opposite sex? I know Mary didn’t make any advancements on any male while Colby was “courting” her. I’ll go with the same for Colby, because his A-GAME on her was STRONG AF.  ( ;~; and then it all fell to pieces. )

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate? Colb calls her “Mare Bear”. I’m actually unsure where that even came from, but I approve. :D

Who worries the most? Mary, HAVE YOU SEEN HIS JOB!? Despite how GOOD he is at it, THAT JOB IS FUCKIN’ DANGEROUS AS SHIT.

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? It’s unfortunate that inform you … >_>;; no actual dates have happened enough, because he’s on the road so much and she tends to change her mind frequently. UNLESS IT’S PIZZA. It’s ALWAYS pepperoni and bacon.

Who tops? >_>;; They switch.

Who initiates kisses? Mary

Who reaches for the other’s hand first? Mary.

Who kisses the hardest? Colby.

Who wakes up first? Colby.

Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer? Mary.

Who says I love you first? Mary

Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?) PROBABLY Mary, if she packed one for him. HAHA! The note? “Kick ass and take names today!”

Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first? Colby, Mary was a little hesitant because of his celebrity status and she didn’t want her friends/family thinking she was dating him JUST because he’s famous and has $$. ( BTW; It was never about that for her. )

What do their family/friends think of their relationship? HAHAH. Is it bad I feel like ALL of Colby’s friends gave him the subtle look of “don’t screw this one up”?? Mary’s friends were pretty excited for her, a few were concerned because she didn’t tell anyone right away, due to how she felt about telling them.

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other? Mary.

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking? Mary. COLBY GOT HIS ASS SPOILED AF.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines? Colby.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times? Both.

Who needs more assurance? Colby, I don’t know why.

What would be their theme song? ** This right here. **

Who would sing to their child back to sleep? MARY SINGS KEVIN BACK TO SLEEP!

What do they do when they’re away from each other? Work, what else? And on occasion, Mary admits to missing him ;~;

one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart - THESE TWO HAD SO MUCH POTENTIONAL. Yes they did but then Colby went and did what he *always* does, and now she’s hard pressed to ever believed he actually cared about her at all. Oh, and that love is for fuckin’ suckers.

one headcanon about this OTP that mends it - despite her anger towards him for what he did to her, she still sorta cares. like enough that she did actually go to Iowa and help him out a little after he re-injured his knee.

[ JARY ]

Who is the most affectionate? - Joe! Heehee. Yes he is.

Big spoon/Little spoon? - HAHA. Oh god. Joe is the big spoon, Mary is the little spoon.

Most common argument? - Who has to walk Sparrow and the new puppy.

Favorite non-sexual activity? - HER KICKING HIS ASS AT AC: IV - multiplayer mode.

Who is most likely to carry the other? ( I think this means physically? ) Ha! Joe definitely loves to scoop her up a LOT. 

What is their favorite feature of their partner’s? Mary’s favorite feature on Joe is his hair and his eyes. *___*;; Joe’s favorite feature on Mary is her hands! BECAUSE SHE GIVES A+++ MASSAGES.

What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other? - I’d DEFINITELY say the overall want to spend MORE AND MORE time together. Which is why she got tickets to almost every event near/close enough to where she was living before moving to Florida. ( And people would always make note of how much she’d be smiling while working - like smiling out of nowhere cause she’s thinking about him. )

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate? I’m actually not sure if Joe has one for her. I know she refers to him as the “Empire Ruler Of My Heart”.

Who worries the most? Mary. ALL THE TIME. With good reason, his job is dangerous and she’s KNOWN how bad it is ever since those old school commercials about the wwe superstars being professionals, and how bodies were broken, careers ended, and to not try this at home. ( this commercial! ) And it terrifies her, all the time. every single time he steps in that ring, and know who sees the terror the most? Joelle.

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? Joe does!

Who tops? Mary. (*cackles!* She likes being on top. )

Who initiates kisses? Joe.

Who reaches for the other’s hand first? Mary.

Who kisses the hardest? Mary.

Who wakes up first? They both do.

Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer? Mary.

Who says I love you first? Aww. Joe did.

Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?) Again, if she packed his lunch that note would read: “DON’T LISTEN TO THOSE BOO’S BABY. YOU’RE ALWAYS GONNA BE MY #1!”

Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first? I’m pretty sure Mary shouted it with excitement to her older sister, like the first chance she got. They were pretty hush hush about it because of how the fans can be, it’s why she doesn’t follow back people on Twitter or IG a lot.

What do their family/friends think of their relationship? Joe’s family was pretty shocked at first when Mary walked in the door of his parents’ home for the first time after she moved down to Florida. The shock was because of how small she is, but then they saw past that and ended up loving her to bits. HAHAH. Mary’s best friend and her best friend’s husband freaked the EFF out when she brought him to dinner one time in CT. Like her bestie’s man is a HUGE WWE fan and he nearly had a heart attack when THE BIG DOG walked in the door of their house! Mary was cackling all night.

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other? Mary, oh yes.

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking? They both are actually.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines? Joe.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times? Mary, AND IT FLUSTERS HIM SO MUCH.

Who needs more assurance? Joe. Because of how 95% of the wwe universe treats him and it PISSES HER OFF so much.

What would be their theme song? Josh Turner - Your Man.

Who would sing to their child back to sleep? - Mary, and in Italian.

What do they do when they’re away from each other? - Mary is rude af. Poor Joe. Every other day he gets naughty texts JUST so he can reply with a picture of him being flustered. Joe? Dreams about holding her again. ;~;

one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart - how attached Mary is to him, literally she starts crying the night before he has to get on the road again. ;~; she absolutely HATES being away from him so much but … alas. ;~; tis the life they lead.

one headcanon about this OTP that mends it - THEY’RE ENGAGED/OR WILL BE AND THAT JOE WANTS TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY.