#Laz looks like this at the start of the game

[illusivejam]

My Courier, The Lucky Devil of the Mojave, Lazarus.

They initially had no interest in their past, the ongoing war between the 3 factions, or even what they would do after killing Benny. They just want to settle the score.

Laz is very impulsive and doesn’t (can’t) really think about consequences too well. They get a bit better at forethought later in the game, but they mostly learn to rely on their companions to reign them in (mostly Arcade, Boone, and Veronica. Cass and Raul get a kick out of seeing Laz almost blow themselves up. Lily, bless her heart, genuinely doesn’t see the harm). They have an uncanny sense of luck, and can usually walk out of very dangerous situations physically unscathed (usually. Sometimes your luck just runs out.)

[lulunothulu]

“All Your’n”

Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: You and Bradley had been best friends for a while. You’d both wanted more but the other didn’t know until you declare him yours after a fight.

Content: fluff, swearing, FLUFF

GIF credit: @betty-draper

Based on the song “All Your’n” by Tyler Childers

It’d been a shitty day.

All day long, you had been dealing with the Dagger Squad and their stupid antics. Everyone was irritating you and you didn’t know why.

No, you knew why.

It was Bradley’s fault.

The night before, you’d watched him flirt with one of the skankiest aviator you’d ever met—Sunny—at Hard Deck. While you two weren’t together, you’d hoped he wouldn’t go so low. Especially with her. He knew you and Sunny had a problem with one another and being your best friend, Bradley had vowed to you he would never fuck with her.

I guess things change.

It started like any night at Hard Deck, Bradley and Jake picking a girl Jake should flirt with and Bradley telling Natasha and Bob he didn’t think Jake would do it.

“He’s being a little too cocky,” you hear Nat tell Bradley. “If he wants the red head to like him, he should’ve just gotten her a drink like a normal guy instead of showing off his darts skills.”

“Wait hold on,” you tell her, pointing to Jake and the red head across the bar. “Look at what he’s doing.”

“That son of a bitch,” you hear Bradley mutter to your left.

Jake had just tapped his cheek, the red head moving to kiss him before he turns his head quickly, catching her lips with his.

“That was annoyingly smooth,” he says with an eye roll. He finishes his beer before turning to the group and asking, “Anyone want another?”

Payback, Coyote, Fanboy, Natasha, and you all cheerfully say, “Fuck yes” causing Bradley to shake his head with a smile and look to Bob.

“Help me carry them all?” Bob nods, following Bradley’s broad and muscular form to the bar where Penny greets them with smiles.

You turn to Nat who’s watching you with a smile.

“Wanna play a game of pool, Domino?” She asks.

You shrug, “Why not? I have to school your ass again.”

“I let you win that one time and now you have an ego,” she laughs.

You’re in the middle of starting the game when you see Sunny walk into the bar and make a beeline for Rooster at the bar.

Her blonde hair was loose, falling down her neck and brushing the seams of her sundress.

“When did she get the time to change into that?” Natasha asks from your right.

“Who fucking knows,” you respond, rolling your eyes.

Behind you, Coyote whistles as Sunny, Bob and Rooster approach with beers in hand. “Damn, Sunny. You look good.”

“Thanks,” she smiles, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I did it for Bradshaw here.”

Fucking bitch.

Bradley’s brows raise in question as he takes a swig of his beer and hands you yours. “For me? Why?”

Sunny laughs. “I’ve been sending you hints for past few months. Haven’t you noticed?”

“Honestly no,” Bradley tells her. “I’ve had my eyes on someone else.”

At that everyone turns to you, but you’re too busy looking at Sunny. Her eyes narrow on you before she sweetly smiles before wrapping her arms around Bradley’s broad shoulders.

“Can you show me how to play pool?” She asks.

“I guess, Seresin’s better than I am,” he tells her. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

You watch as Sunny leads him to the pool table across from yours, Bradley’s eyes apologetic as he begins to show her how to play.

“Easy girl,” you hear Jake say behind you. You turn to see him sipping his beer, an arm around the red head. “He knows who he belongs to. No need to get worked up.”

“Fuck off, Bagman.” You seethe.

By the end of the night, Sunny was drunk as hell, dancing on tables and doing everything she could to keep Bradley by her side. It was 11:45 PM when you finally had enough.

“I think imma head out,” you tell Phoenix.

“Do you want me to get Bradley?” She asks.

You turn to where Sunny’s legs were propped on Rooster’s lap, Bradley’s hand comfortably on her ankle and smile lazily on his lips.

You shake your head and roll your eyes. “Nah, let him have more time with his new girlfriend.”

He didn’t even bother to text you how and if you got home that night. And that’s what was pissing you off the most.

Not that he had broken the one promise you asked him to never do, but that he never even called you to make sure you were alright.

Sunny must’ve been really good in bed. Of course she was. She was the squad’s biggest flirt, and that says something because Hangman is the man-whore.

Anyway, it wasn’t like you stayed up all night waiting for his call.

That would’ve been pitiful.

Your last straw today had been when you saw Sunny and Bradley talking y one of the jets, Sunny’s hand on his chest laughing at something he’d said.

Your blood was boiling. You wanted to slap the smile off her face, or worse pummel her into the ground with your boots.

“Domino,” you hear Natasha call to your left. “What’s wrong?”

“What makes you think somethings wrong?” You ask.

“Your face is unusually bitchier,” Jake says from behind.

“Maybe it’s because everyone has been annoying the shit out of me,” you spit back.

“Everyone, or Bradshaw?” He asks, a smirk forming.

“Fuck off, Seresin,” you seethe, clenching your jaw from saying it too loudly for everyone else to hear.

“C’mon, Y/L/N,” he starts. “We all know you’re sweet on Bradshaw.”

“Hangman,” Natasha warns.

“What it’s true?” He counters. He points, flicking between you and Bradley behind you. “They’ve been inseparable for years. Plus, we all see the way they look each other. He’s as much hers and she is his. They should just kiss and get it over with. Then, we won’t have to deal with her mood swings when Sunny starts acting a fool.”

“Seresin, shut. The fuck. Up.” You seethe. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I may not look like the brightest, but I have eyes,” he tells you, squaring his shoulders and smiling. “We can see how much it kills you that Sunny—”

“I’m warning you…”

“—has made the moves on Bradshaw, even after you two had that vow,” he continues. “Just go claim him!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP SERESIN.” You yell, causing everyone in the hangar to turn to where you two are standing—Bradley and Sunny included.

Your cheeks feel warm, you know you’re blushing and hard. Behind you, you feel a hand in your shoulder and when you turn, you find Maverick standing there. His face is masked in calm but you know he’s probably as angry as he can be.

“Go take a walk,” he tells you.

You’re shaking in anger and embarrassment, but you nod. Pushing past him, you take off, passing by a smug-faced Sunny and dumbfoundedly confused Bradley.

“See ya, Domino,” Sunny says as you pass them. She laughs before adding, “Fucking psycho.”

That makes you stop in your tracks because what the actual fuck?

You turn to face her, walking right up to her, and getting within an inch of her face.

“What did you say?” You ask.

Fear fills her eyes and she pulls Bradley close to her. “Nothing.”

You look to where she’s holding Bradley by the bicep, then up at Bradley who’s confused and hopefully feeling your disappointment.

You roll your eyes, feeling the angry tears coming. “Whatever. You deserve her.”

You’re halfway to the tarmac when you feel a large hand wrap around your wrist. You’re spun around to face Bradley who looks confused.

“What’s your deal?” He asks. “I didn’t hear from you last night and you didn’t even tell me you left Hard Deck. And now, you’re acting all annoyed and lashing out on everyone.”

“No I’m not,” you respond.

“Don’t think on I didn’t notice your groaning all day, Y/N,” he scolds. “You’ve been on one all day. What’s wrong?”

You rub your nose angrily before shaking your head and turning away from him. “You. You’re what’s wrong.”

“Why?” Bradley’s brown eyes are soft, brows furrowed in confusion and you can’t help but feel the urge to slap the puppy dog eyes out of him.

“You broke our vow!” You spit. “You fucked Sunny even after you said you never would. And then on top of that, you didn’t notice I left or you did and you were too busy with Sunny to bother to text or call me to see if I was alright or if I got home.”

You were pacing, wildly waving your hands as you speak. “And what hurts the most is that you did that without batting an eye. I thought—”

You stop talking. You can’t bring yourself to admit what you’d been wanting to for the past few years you’d known Bradley. You loved him, and you thought he loved you back.

But you guess not.

“You thought what?” Bradley asks, shouting over the jets flying to the left of you. His brows were so furrowed, you thought they’d stay that way.

You take a few deep breaths, trying to regulate your anger and frustration.

“I thought you would’ve—,” you start to shout back, blinking back tears. “I thought you would’ve chosen me instead.”

Bradley only stares at you, shocked. You’re a good few paces away from him so you angrily shake your head, wipe your eyes with the back of your hands, and begin to walk away.

But his strong hand on your wrist stops you in your tracks.

“What makes you think I didn’t choose you?” Bradley asks.

“What’re you talking about?” You ask. “I saw you with Sunny.”

“Last night, nothing happened,” he tells you.

“What?”

He shakes his head, a small smile forming on his mustached face. “I took her home and then left. My phone died at the bar and I didn’t think you’d be awake when I got home.”

You only stare up at him.

“I was gonna check on you today, but you gave me the cold shoulder all morning,” he goes on.

“You didn’t sleep with her?” You ask.

“God, no,” he smiles.

That changed everything. If they didn’t sleep together, then what did he mean by choosing you?

“What did you mean,” you start. “About choosing me?”

“Y/N,” he starts, hand rising to cup your cheek. “Have you seriously not noticed?”

“Noticed what?” You ask.

“All I have are eyes for you. I have for a long time,” he tells you. “I’ve loved you from the moment I first met you. I’ll love you until my lungs give out. You’re mine, even if you don’t know or feel it. But you are.”

“I’m yours?” You ask, dumbfounded by his admission.

“Yes,” he laughs.

You smile, bringing your hand to his on your cheek. Happy tears fill your eyes as you tiptoe to kiss him, his mustache tickling your nose and making you smile into the kiss. Your heart lurches at the thought of Bradley loving you as long as you’ve loved him, the fact that you’re kissing him amplifying that feeling.

“Good, because I’m all yours,” you smile. “And you’re all mine.”

[the-trinket-witch]

DING DONG ramshacklerumble here 💖

i’m tennis-balling your ask back to you! eugenio with the first year crew! ♥️♠️ 🐺🍎🤖⚔️

(ASK MEME HERE)

♥️ACE: The two go back and forth with banter, once they realized that was just Ace's sense of humor. They appreciate that Ace can flag when they're in a bad mood and ask what's up. The tell? The back and forth jabs start going for the throat. Only thing Ace knows NOT to do around Eu: make fun of Deuce's intelligence.

♠️ DEUCE: They commend him for wanting to be better for his mom. They offer to be a non-judgemental ear to let him get out some of those old stories of his delinquent days. Eu is gonna be both shoulder angel and devil-they're gonna say to not immediately throw hands (Wait for the other fucker to swing first, then it's self-defense ;D )

🐺JACK: Eu has to watch where they throw la chancla-if it's too close to Jack, whatever convo he was having has to screech to a halt for him to watch it. He at least has the restraint to not go fetch.

🍎EPEL: The two are decent at PE, and they sorta are the gossip pair. Epel has his own problems and highlights, and Eu can relate enough to 'What I look like doesn't accurately encompass Who I am'. Epel is also Eu's supply guy for diff makeup or beauty treatments.

🤖ORTHO: Eu was the one to introduce Laz to calling Ortho 'Arturito' (A pun en Español of R2D2, I mean, c'mon!). Isn't gonna decline an invite to game with him or Idia, but then, Idia's not a Party Game kinda guy.

⚔️SEBEK: THE ONE Eu butts heads the most with. They ain't afraid to tell him to tone down, daring him to zap them. (It's a trap-They've figured out Tsunotaru=Malleus. Eu's willing to get zapped if it means setting Sebek up for an ass-chewin'.) When Sebek isn't being loud, they try spotting each other when lifting weights. Sebek mostly just whines about how weak they are, but they give him a mandated eye in exchange for tips on form.

[lazerv4]

Thoughts on The Boys Season 4

Just my raw thoughts not a review or anything

The Boys is finally back after an extended break (I know we got Gen V in the middle but idk) and is here to finally show us what is going on with our favorite group of edgy vigilantes and the answer is not very much and what is there is kind of disappointing.

Season 4 is a mess, an ugly, brash and thoughtless disaster of random plotlines that I wish were better handled but as a set up season for the 5th and final installment it suffers greatly. 

Butcher who is performed phenomenally as always by Karl Urban gets a very interesting dynamic with a fellow comrade Kessler played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan doing a really good job as the guest this season (not to the extent of Jensen Ackles did last season as Soldier Boy but that is literally impossible to top) and is one of the more fascinating characters until it’s revealed he is just a hallucination and a lot of his potential is squandered. Hughie (Jack Quaid) for his part is almost entirely disconnected from the story till the incredibly controversial and disgusting with Tech Knight and some not very well handled parts with Erin Moriarty’s Starlight were their romance seems threatened and gives poor Annie a completely lackluster season between that and her underexplored Planned Parenthood-esque storyline. Frenchie and Kimiko get the worst this season as both their plots come out of nowhere and are dropped randomly so I’m gonna do the same, sorry Karen (Fukuhara) you were great but they gave you trash. And last but not least MM (who got a surprising transformation, good on you Laz (heh) Alonso) has an interesting will he wont he type story about if he will stay in the game or leave for his family and his own health which I hope continues into Season 5.

Now the bad guys which will frankly be shorter, Starr as Homelander is the same as always, a good performance that is kind of losing it’s luster a little but it still has a funny and terrifying aura when properly utilized and I’m really looking forward to his Donal Trump era next season.  Chance Crawford’s Deep and Nathan Mitchell´s Black Noir (version 2) start a funny and dumb partnership now that Noir can talk and they lightened up the mood significantly when they were on screen even if they are both horrible people. Jessie T. Usher is the stand out this season as A-Train gets an atonement arc that made him really endearing and frankly my favorite character this season which seems so bizarre when they show opens trying to convince you he is the biggest piece of shit but man has the guy grown, he is still a cocky asshole but he now tries to be a decent and even sometimes just a straight up good person and I really do hope he makes it out of this. And finally the newcomers Sister Sage and Firecracker portrayed bySusan Heyward and Valorie Curry respectively are a great addition to the cast both in being a cynical egomaniac that works behind the scenes and a new hate sponge that does everything despicable you can think of, specially with both of them being original creations they were implemented with great care and attention that just worked well with the dynamic of the show.

And now the neutral characters I guess? Caludia Doumit’s Victoria Newman suffers a lot from lack of commitment and bad character writing this season which is such a shame now knowing (for obvious reasons) that this is her last season while Ryan (who is supposed to be like 13 but Cameron Crovetti looks way older than he even is) gets something similar to MM with a will he wont he but poorly executed in comparison and it just kind of makes me dislike the character a lot.

There were other cool characters and cameos like Giancarlo Esposito finally coming back to play Stan Endgar but at the same time we got Maddie Philips struggling to act even with a character as one note as Cate is in this show.

The Boys season 4 was a big mix bag let down but it still has some redeeming qualities, hopefully a lot of it’s issues have more to do with the fact that it’s a set up season and less with the writers not knowing what to do anymore.

[shibe-myths]

hi, i've a question about the player-characters age:

So you can choose the general age your body looks like (is assumed, anyways?), there are three ages, a young teen-ish one, a adult, and a middle-aged set-- how will that play in with the romances?

*very interested* esp since some of them already have children, like, how would the vibe be if you're closer to their kids age instead of theirs-- let me pick ur brain pls pls pls

<3<3 TY FOR POSTING THIS AND SHARING WITH US, TYSM BTW <3<3

My ask box deleted my reply when I tried to press send!! I'm so sorry if this is shorter than you wanted! I'm gonna fight god for that shit. Lmao, but thank you for the ASK ANON! I love answering these kinds of asks! Lore is my fav thing to babble on about.

If anyone is curious, this ask is in reference to this one

As a recap, in Lich Gate, you have the option to choose how old your MC physical appears to be out of three options (listed below). It’s never going to be confirmed how old the actual MC is until after the demo.

Young (late teens - early twenties) | 18 - 23/24)

Adult (midtwenties - early thirties) | 24 - 30/31

Middle-aged (early thirties - late forties) | 32 - 49/50

The youngest an MC could be is 18, while the oldest an MC could be is, I want to say 48 or 50? I haven't checked chapter 11's code in a hot minute. Either way it's a good Three decades.

When it comes to the ROs Appearance ages | actual age, they are as follows: LadyB: Mid to late thirties | (37) Bernie: Mid-twenties | (26) Laz: Early thirties | (33?) Amyntas: Late thirties-early forties | (38/39) Bishop: Appears to be in his late twenties | (207) Indigo: Early twenties | (23) Perierat: Presents as early thirties. | (Primordial being, eons old) Asha: Early to mid-forties | (44) Lace: Early twenties | (22) Ribbon: Appears to be in her mid-thirties | (died at 36. chronologically 6k+) Stranger: ???

The youngest Ro, Lace is 22 - while the eldest (nonimmortal) RO is 44. Likewise, there is over two decades between them.

Currently when it comes to ROMANCE, the ROs do have preferences when it comes to age, looks, gender identity, sexuality, and personality. So, there will be some ROs that have soft blocks for certain ages (You can still romance them, it just takes a bit more.)

Romances age gap difficulty: Lady B: Young (Harder to romance), Adult/Middle-Aged (No issue) Bernie: No Age Difficulties. Laz: No Age Difficulties. Amyntas: Young (Harder to Romance), Adult/Middle-Aged (No issue) Bishop: No Age Difficulties Indigo: Young/Adult (No Issue), Middle-Aged (Harder to Romance) Perierat: No Age Difficulties Asha: Younger(Harder to romance), Adult/Middle-Aged (No issue) Lace: No Age Difficulties Ribbon: No Age Difficulties Stranger: No Age Difficulties.

You can still romance them, despite the age gaps. It just might take a minute.

When it comes to your other question. You'll find the answer down below:

Only LadyB, Asha, Lace, and The Stranger have children.

Asha has one child:

Whose name is being chosen in THIS poll (11 | ☿) The beloved child of Asha, whom she would burn the world for. A drake with bronze-blood. They are mischievous and witty. With a penchant for drama.

Lace has two children:

Sybilla Wynehaus (1 | ♀) The first bastard born to the manwhore. She and her half sister were left for Lace to raise.

Dulce Wynehaus (6m | ♀)The second bastard born to the manwhore. She was left for Lace to raise only three months before the start of the game.

Lady B has eight children:

Grand Commander Dihya Inanna Springsea (20 | ☿) The bastard child of Lamis Bashar, Dihya Saltsea was barred from ruling the Sultanate of Iibereli. That has not stopped them from rising through the ranks of the Military.

Sultana Mara Imelda of House Bashar (17 | ♀) The eldest triplet born to the former Sultana Lamis and her ex-husband, Myron Atlow. She rules Ibereli under the steady hand of her maternal aunt, Lady Inanna.

Heir apparent Noor Adama of House Bashar (17 | ☿) The heir to their elder sister, Noor balks at the confines of high society. Oft times found wandering the wastes outside of Saltus in search of Gold and Glory.

Master of the House Qadir Iman of House Bashar (17 | ♂) The youngest of the triplets, Qadir is set to marry the Heir of a foreign land, Edalehan. In preparation for this situation, Qadir has been given the job of Palace host.

Ser Anansi Summertide (11 | ♂) Adopted son of Lady Lamis Bashar. He is training to become a knight in service of his older sister, Sultana Mara.

Lady Orisa Summertide (5 | ♀) Adopted Daughter of Lady Lamis Bashar. She is training to become a lady-in-waiting to her older sister, Sultana Mara.

Asra Harvestfell (3 | ♂) Twin of Isra, born to Lady Lamis during a drunken one-night stand. Asra lives with his siblings in Saltus.

Isra Harvestfell (3 | ♀) Twin of Asra, born to Lady Lamis during a drunken one-night stand. Isra lives with her siblings in Saltus.

While the Stranger has MANY more (A solid fifty+ - Only two of which belonged to his WIFE)

[Redacted for spoilers]

Since most of the Children born to the Parent!ROs are still, children. Your ask only really applies to The Stranger and LadyB. And by GOD I would want to be a fly on the wall for THAT conversation.

Just off the top of my head: LadyB's children's opinion on a Young!MC romance:

Dihya: Immediately clowns on their mother for being a cougar. Mara | Noor | Qadir:

The Stranger's Children's opinions on a Young!MC romance:

[justsaysomethingjayj]

WIP First Lines

I truly do love a good opening, so getting to share some first lines is a real fun one for me to be tagged in. Thanks @cypanache for tagging me.

For this I opted to limit myself only to my two most recent writing docs or this list would have been ridiculously long instead of just, you know, long.

Some of these may not end up being the actual first lines, but they are what I currently got there to start with. So with that said, and without further ado… SW, Obidala:

1.

A harmless invitation goes a bit sideways.

2.

He mapped out the constellations of far away worlds against her skin, no touch of his lips on her body seemed to be without purpose. Everything held a sense of meaning.

3.

It began, almost fittingly, with a double take.

4.

“We’re allowed our lapses, Obi-Wan,” she said, as if she could sense the conflict stirring inside of him. Her hair a mess of loose curls she tried to swipe away from her eyes. “They remind us that we’re human. And there is nothing wrong with that.”

5.

He dreamed in the deepest shades of blue; of the places brushed by grief, and the shimmering hue of her long billowy dress. She was his sadness made flesh. Not real, but tangible. To be felt. Always just that. For that was all that was left of her.

6.

She pushed herself against the wall, as he pushed himself into her. Urgency and a frenzied kind of madness had overtaken him at the mere sight of her. The seductive simplicity of her in nothing more than a barely there nightgown of sapphire washed silk and an unruly tide of tousled brown curls spilling down her bare shoulders.

7.

The proposal had been completely innocent. Well-meaning in its initial intent. The idea had come to her then and she had simply thought to ask. Really, she had thought nothing of it.

OUAT, Golden Swan

1.

“It’s quite the thing,” it mused, wearing an old forgotten face, a strange but perhaps purposeful choice for the Darkness to make, “to seek out and covet death. Not the ending one would imagine for a love story.”

2.

Her eyes are full of timeless tales. Some as old as time. Fluttering back into the present. Fragmented speckles of a lifetime of broken promises and stubborn hope, shaded in a spiraling landscape of glittering greens. The subtle dark jade of envy; vibrant emerald of a rebirth; an endless evergreen of love; and just the softest hint and budding pine of corruptibility.

3.

He kills the boy and rewrites the story. Starts by making them all forgot that particularly dark deed. His sickly act of cowardice and self-preservation. Then moves on to the next chapter of the tale by claiming a powerful queen from the proverbial game board to have and to hold by his side.

4.

“There’s a deal here.” “Still so sure of yourself, Miss Swan. No matter how many times you’ve failed to play a meaningful hand against me.” He looked amused. Maybe a tad too pleased with how the cards have fallen in his favour, yet again. “There’s no version of this where you come out unscathed.”

5.

“Your hand is trembling.” The sound of his voice seemed to jerk Emma from whatever trance she had fallen into. She turned sharply to look up at him, but there's a slight glaze to her eyes that told Rumplestiltskin that she hadn't come back fully just yet. 

6.

The Evil Queen doesn't mince her words. Takes—maybe a bit too much—pride in saying them to his face with a smirk smeared across her apple red lips. "A love like that will ruin you."

7.

He’s a fickle and jealous man, and so he makes the pirate stay dead.

Bonus OUAT, Golden Swan Queen:

1.

They are conflicted. He, by true love. She, a possible soulmate. What they wanted, what’s been saturated into their blood and bones and temperamental hearts, was now a liability to their happy endings.

------------------------------ I'm still new and very much lacking in mutuals to tag, and it seems like most of the Obidala crew I know have already been tagged by others. So what the hell, I'm just gonna tag some fav writers of mine: @thestorieswesay @lazybakerart @lemonlovely @harringroveheart @justadram @lainelannister

[autumntouched]

Day 15 of Ode to Phoenix

Summary: Natasha and her college roommate are reunited to be a pain in Hangman's designated driver's ass

Pairings: Potential Jake "Hangman" Seresin x O/C

Warnings: Lots of alcohol consumed

A/N: This is just pure tequila fueled fun. AU Phoenix and Hangman from my other fics. I was playing around with a spy-ish thriller idea where Phoenix's friend is kidnapped in the course of her work, Phoenix and Hangman fly the rescue, but tabled the story. Here's where it started/what's left.

Taz and Laz

It was on another tequila fueled night during college that Taz and Laz were born, the christening of Natasha’s lifelong friendship with her best friend and roommate Layla. But on their current tequila bender, they’ve exchanged their college dorm room for The Hard Deck. 

It’s been over a year since they’ve seen one another, but it’s as if no time has passed since they spent nearly every single day together. They’re catching up, dancing and singing along to the jukebox selections, and collapsing into one another with laughter. It feels so good to let loose for both of them. 

Laz pulls herself out of Natasha’s arms, wiping the tears of laughter from her cheeks, and waves Penny down for another round. 

While they wait, Laz leans her elbow on the bar and looks over toward the pool table. “Taz, I think it’s about time we showed these boys what a real game of pool looks like,” she says. 

Natasha looks over and smirks, seeing exactly what caught her friend’s eye. The guys are strutting around the table, leaning into their shots like they're playing a high stakes tournament for money. They’re not as good as they think they look. Laz is ready to step all over some egos. 

There’s a lot people probably can’t tell about Laz at first glance. “It’s funny,” she’d once told Natasha, “it often feels like I’m invisible when my hair is curly. But as soon as I straighten it, suddenly everything changes. Makes me a good spy, doesn’t it?” And she’s probably the closest person Natasha knows to a spy. Behind the cat-like almond shaped eyes is a sharp, analytical mind used to assess and track down some of the world’s most elusive cyber terrorist threats. She tells everyone that she works in government relations for a tech company. 

Her father retired as a Navy admiral and all night Hangman jumps every time one of the senior officers approaches them, thinking they are about to be reprimanded for their increasingly raucous laughter, only for the captains and admirals to grab Laz into a hug and ask about her family or give her an update on their kids. To his astonishment, and Natasha notes how rare it is to make Hangman’s jaw drop, she doesn’t always bother with ranks. 

“Do you know who that was?” he asks stupidly after one of them walks off.

“I changed his four of his children’s diapers for five dollars an hour,” Laz shrugs. “I don’t worry about those things unless I have to.”

Penny arrives, tequila in hand and a warning with her pour. “I’m cutting you off soon, Layla, before I have to answer to your dad tomorrow.”

Laz throws her head back and laughs. “Ms. Benjamin we both know the one you’d really have to answer to is my mom.” 

Natasha snorts, in on the joke. Laz’s dad might be the admiral but her mother is the rules and appearances bound stickler. 

“It’s ‘Penny’,” Penny reminds her with a fond smile. “You make me feel my age.”

“You know her too?” Hangman demands, looking between them. 

“Penny knows what my umbilical cord looked like,” Laz smiles. “Which is why I’m never getting used to calling you by your first name.” 

Hangman is along for this ride as their designated driver. There aren’t many places Laz can let her hair down these days, and a Navy bar might be one of them. They’re too old for the shenanigans of their younger years, but Natasha doesn’t plan for either of them to be able to drive by the end of the night.

“Taz,” Laz nods solemnly, holding up her recently filled shot glass. 

“Laz,” Natasha salutes. They clink their glasses, touch them to the bar, then throw them back. No lime, salt, or chaser. Laz smacks her lips and checks the pool table again.

“Ready?” she asks, five shots and a moscow mule in.

Natasha grins. “Ready.” 

They slide off their bar stools, the alcohol hitting them full force when they finally stand. Natasha sways before she gets her footing. 

“Whoa,” giggles Laz, draping her arm over Natasha’s shoulders. With their height difference, it’s something she only accomplishes in the tall heeled boots she’s wearing. “This is gonna be a game.”

For once, Hangman inserts himself as the responsible voice of reason. “Maybe you two should go for a round of water instead of pool.”

Laz juts her pointed chin at him. “They’re going to think we’re drunk. We’re winning this one.”

“Definitely winning,” Natasha giggles. 

Hangman looks at her like she’s grown a second head. He’s likely never seen her like this, the carefree happy-go-lucky Taz side of her. Which is ironic, since alone, Laz is far from carefree or happy-go-lucky. She’s one of the most intense people Natasha knows. 

Arms draped around one another, Natasha and Laz saunter over to the game. Natasha negotiates their way in, the guys eyeing them for an easy win. Hangman practically slaps his forehead when Laz names their offer. 

“Why would you let her do that?” he demands when Laz holds her hand out for the cue stick. “I’m not sure she took a straight step over here.”

Natasha smirks. “Watch this.”

Laz examines the table then hefts the cue stick in her hand. And suddenly, she’s laser focused and steady. She pockets the ball neatly, not an ounce of force wasted. Hangman and the guys look like they’re reassessing the competition. 

“Show ‘em what you got, Taz,” Laz cheers when Natasha’s up. 

The other thing people can’t tell about Laz at first glance? Her electives in college included viticulture and the mathematical theory of pool, and she had a habit of multitasking her assignments. Natasha was at first her reluctant opponent until, eventually, it became a regular ritual for them. Laz liked to call it “Wine and Balls.”

They crush the game, only a challenge because they’re so far into the tequila. The guys shake their hands with new appreciation and Laz collects. She goes back to the bar for another shot. Instead of returning to where Natasha and Hangman are waiting for her, though, she heads to the bathroom. But she comes back not long after. “There’s a line,” she announces, brow furrowed.

Natasha has an inkling of where this is going. “Laz, you’re too old to do that.” Laz stands quietly for a moment, head tilted. Then shrugs and heads for the patio. “Wait!” Natasha chases her down.

“What’s she doing?” Hangman asks, hurrying to keep up as they dodge patrons in Laz’s marching wake. 

They follow her out onto the beach, her figure wobbling into the darkness. She glances over her shoulder once and waves them back toward The Hard Deck.

“Fuck,” Natasha sighs. There’s no point in stopping her now. 

In the distance, barely visible from where they’re standing, Laz pauses by a cluster of beach brush. She kicks at the sand with her foot for a few moments. Then kicks at it again. She looks around one last time to make sure Natasha’s the only one watching then crouches out of sight. 

She’s gone for maybe a minute before she straightens and wipes her hand on her jeans then across her mouth. Laz kicks at the sand again. She takes a swig of the tequila shot then spits it out. After several rinses, she heads back.

Natasha crosses her arms. “I can’t believe you just did that,” she scolds when Laz is within hearing range. “You have a doctorate degree now.”

Hangman glances down at her. “Did she just boot and rally?” 

“Yes.”

“And rinse her mouth with tequila?”

Laz is close enough to hear. “What? Do you have mouthwash, Bagman?” she calls. "Sue me, I'm resourceful."

She manages to get to them without breaking an ankle walking through the sand in her shoes. “I think I’ve got another game in me and then we should probably get food.” 

“No, we’re getting food now,” Hangman decides.

Laz looks at Natasha. “Game or food?”

“That wasn’t up for a vote!” Hangman protests. 

“If we wanted a babysitter,” Laz complains, “we would have invited Rooster.”

Natasha admires her friend’s ability to be absolutely wasted, only partially informed about Hangman and Rooster’s dynamic, and still fire an absolute bullseye.

“Game,” Natasha agrees smugly, just to mess with him and see what he does. 

He reaches into his pocket and fishes out a quarter. “Heads we play pool, tails we play darts,” he offers. 

Laz catches her lip with interest. These are the stakes she likes. “Who makes the call?”

“I’ll let you, if you ask nicely,” he suggests.

Natasha does a double take. Is he flirting now? With her best friend? 

“Heads,” Laz decides. “Please.” 

Hangman flips the coin and palms it onto the back of his hand. They all lean in for the result. He groans and Laz snaps. “Looks like another game of pool, Bagman.”

She loops her arm through Natasha’s and waves for him to follow. “Do you really want to play another game?” Laz whispers as they make their way back to the pool table. 

Natasha confesses she did it just to annoy Hangman. 

“Oh good,” Laz sighs. “Me too. I want tacos or pho.” 

Hangman’s not sure whether to look annoyed or relieved when they announce that they’ve reconsidered and are ready to go.

By the time he pulls up to Natasha’s townhouse after tacos, Laz is passed out across the armrest in the back. To her surprise, he turns off the car and gets out with her. 

“I’ve got her,” Natasha promises.

“This is easier.” He opens the door and coaxes Laz awake enough to lift her into his arms. She curls into his chest. "You know, your personality sometimes really gets in the way of how hot you could be. Just saying."

Jake looks stunned, and Natasha snickers. "Maybe something to consider there, dickhead."

He scowls at her. "Geez, Phoenix, do you complain about me to all of your friends?"

"I have an amazing support system," she grins.

She can't wait to tell Laz what way too honest thought fell out of her mouth while drunk. Of course, Laz is the kind of person who wouldn't say anything drunk that she wouldn't be willing to stand by sober. The only difference is how diplomatic she is about it.

Natasha leads the way to her apartment. She throws a sheet and pillow onto the sofa for her friend, knowing that Laz will wake up at some point and get herself ready for bed. Or sleep until the morning and change her clothes then. Hangman sets her down gently. 

“Are we home?” Laz murmurs.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. 

She struggles to sit up. “My pillowcase,” she mumbles. 

“Her what?” he asks Natasha who goes to her bag and rifles around until she finds the satin fabric. 

“For her hair,” Natasha explains. 

He props Laz up against him while she fixes the pillow for her friend. “Thanks, Jake,” Laz sighs before drifting off to sleep again. 

Not that she’ll remember, but it’s suddenly "Jake"? Huh, this could get very interesting. And maybe there are some things her friend won't be willing to stand by in the soberness of the morning.

Ode to Phoenix Masterlist

[bitchfitch]

The inn at Port Fola Nichi was the closet thing any of the three pirates had to a home on land. The drinks were shit, and it smelled exactly like you would think a place almost exclusively utilized by pirates and other such ne'er-do-wells would, but it was home. A neutral ground free from the weight of laws where they could trade and make merry but most importantly, it was where they could receive their mail.

Lordakai took the small stack handed to him and sorted through them as quickly as he could before shoving all but one into his coat pocket. Vultch, who's mail always consisted of a single letter from his sister snorted at the display.

"What's so funny?" Lordakai snorted in return.

"It's, nothing... It's just cute how excited you get when that dainty little thing sends you something," he teased in his usual slow and lazy manner, "Right Gun? Big guys Positively darling these days."

Gun grumbled from behind the massive stack put in front of her before pushing it all off into the empty seat at the table. The chances of her reading any of them being very slight. "Oh Sure. Makes him look positively middle aged again."

"Rude, I'm only what, two years older than you, Gun?" Lordakai smiles through the ribbing.

"Oh yeah, you just aged a lot worse than I did."

"It's true. But, I don't care about That, I care about the Drama at hand. Our dear boy is Lovestruck. Just Look at him!" Vultch cut in, "You can't truly be, you know, Serious about the bird, Right?"

"And what if I am?"

"Oh No Fucking way, Lordakai," Gun looks at him incredulously, "Vultch told me how sweet you were on the bird, but no way are you Actually serious about zer? Have all the rumors about you getting soft been true?"

"Listen, The bird has never once made me soft-" He starts the innuendo but is cut off by Vultch pretending to wretch.

"Disgusting! We're eating. Have you no shame?"

"You're just mad your old man has found someone and is finally settling down."

"For the love of all that is seen, let that joke die old man."

"Absolutely not-"

"Oh Hey! Back on topic boys. Lordakai just said he was settling down and That's a whole lot more interesting than Vultch not being able to take a dick joke."

"Wait, That was a joke. That had to be a joke, Lordakai, Tell me that was a joke." Vultch looked as shocked as his insectoid features could allow.

Lordakai sat back in his seat, a letter from the love of his life in his hands and sighed, "Yeah... I am. I'm old, I've found something real good with Toi'uhla, and it's pass time I handed the title of captain of my fleet off to Laz," he shrugs and traces around the wax seal on the letter with one claw, "You both know as well as I do, Folk don't retire in our line of work. But... I'm taking this opportunity to drop anchor. I'm looking for a proposal rock and everything."

They both stare at him like he's grown a second head, but Vultch is the first to pipe up, "You really weren't joking about settling down huh?"

"Oh, How is That going to work out with zer being, you know, A Lord and also engaged?" Gun asked, the reality of the situation her friend was in suddenly becoming a lot less funny.

"Ai, it won't be anything Official. Ze is still going to marry that little princet soon enough. But once that's done ze's eligible to be duke, so the plan is to just wait out the end of zer dam's reign. Toi'uhla will get the upgrade, and then give me a pardon. That's the day I'll be out of the game and swanning off to go cuck a monarch in zer own home. Don't you two go thinking I'm leaving my ship or my territory till then."

"... Do you need zer dam to... Disappear?" Vultch offers.

"Ha, no, no. The old fuck has already said ze's only staying in zer position a year or two longer at most. And... I've brought it up in the past. Toi'uhla wasn't Thrilled with the idea of ganking zer dam."

"Oh... Oh Lordakai. Congratulations I suppose."

"Yeah. It's going to be weird seeing a Bane ship not captained by a Lordakai."

Lordakai snorts, finally pulling off the wax seal to begin reading the letter, "Hey you never know, Maybe Erifolda Lordakai the Third will take after their old-" he stops short, his beady black eyes narrowing as he read the letter again, and again. His smile dropping, the light air of comadre and jolliness vanishing and being replaced with some storm of emotion.

Vultch snatches the letter from him when he fails to respond to them trying to catch his attention again. He holds it so both he and Gun could read it,

'I love you. There's not enough space on this letter for me to say it as many times as I need to, not when there were so many moments I knew it but didn't say it. I love you, I loved you the first time we had to say goodbye. I loved you when you were furious with me the first time we got to meet as equals instead of hostage and captor. I loved you every moment between and since.

You are my heart and I miss you every time you leave. I love you. I can't think of anything but you when I'm expecting one of your replies or those brief visits we rarely get to share. I love you, I love the ship, and the crew, and the life you showed me. I love your smile and those stupid jokes you tell when it's just me you're talking to. I love the feel of your fur and scales and the sturdiness and size of every part of you. I love the nights in your bed where you hum that one song when you think I'm asleep. I love everything about you, even the parts I can't stand.

My greatest regret is leaving your ship the day of the ransom negotiations. I wish we'd sailed away like you had offered to do, or that we had done something clever to get the money without me having to leave you. My second greatest regret is being created as I write this to you.

I love you. I never want to see you again.

Guli'vany and I will be married at the start of the next season. Preparations are underway even as I write this. I love you, but there is no continuing what we have. It's my duty to my people and country and to my best friend to go through with this, even if it feels more like my execution has been planned. Once I'm married I'll be moving to Cu'Awl, far from our meeting spot, on an island I will never again have an excuse to leave and which you would never be able to get near. I thought that once Guli'vany and I were wed we'd stay on Cu'Liona at least until I had the power to grant you the pardon that would have let you finally come home to me, but Dgow'vany has insisted Guli'vany be near zer, and I will never have that power on Cu'Awl.

I love you, and I have nightmares about the ship burning with you aboard or a day of execution I don't have the power to stay. You are wanted there just as much as you are on Cu'Liona, but they have the navy we do not. Please, please, Lordakai, stay away. It would break me if those dreams came to pass. I need you alive and well, but that means never seeing you again.

Please do not write me. You know how easy I am to tempt and lead astray. Please let this be our goodbye. Please know that I love you, and will love you to my last breath.

-Toi'uhla'

"Oh Shit..." Gun takes the letter and reads it over again, "Shit, Lordakai..."

"Hey, I'm sure something can be worked out? You are recoursful, and the bird clearly wants-" Vultch reaches to put a hand on his shoulder but Lordakai swats it away with a snarl.

He sighs deeply, eyes stoney, jaw set with his spiked beard flairing even as he struggled to maintain some semblance of his composure, even then his voice was a deep growl when he finally spoke, "Do you two want a Real big fucking pay day? Because I've got a wedding to crash and would Love an entourage."

[sirwow]

Torn Tapes; Pt 1

The wind blows softly as the start of springtime rolls in and the spruce forest buzzes with life. Grass and sticks crackle under the footsteps of 3 boys traipsing along a trail. Lazarus, Azazel and Cain chat while chewing on their own candies and Cain dragging a box.

Az: “Augh.. never liked how taffy gets stuck on my braces.”

Cain: “Then why do ya keep buying it every time we go to plums?”

Az: “Well it tastes good! Besides you eat jawbreakers and complain about your throat hurting.”

Laz: “Az that’s not how jawbreakers work..”

Az: “Throat, mouth, jaw. Same thing. Anyways, how long is that old generator supposed to work for Cain?”

Cain: “Donno.”

Az: “What do you mean you don’t know? You’re a techie!”

Cain: “I’m a mechanic not a electrician, Az.”

Az: “Like I said, same thing.”

Laz: “Well regardless we should be able to power that old tv in the treehouse with it and play some games. Besides if it’s only an hour or something I’ll just bring mine.”

Az: “Alright alright..”

The three continue through the woods with the old generator and up to a old treehouse. Trash bags of rubbish and tools surround a near cleaned treehouse. The treehouse sits with a combination of fresh planks and old untouched by rain. Cain walks behind Az and Laz with the generator but the wheels of the generator catch on something hollow in the ground and trips up Cain onto the floor.

Laz: “Woah you okay?”

Cain: “Ugh yeah.. fuckin generator got stuck on something. Sounded kinda weird too.”

Az: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Cain: “Sounded hollow is what I mean, now shh..”

Cain goes to the dirty and dusty bump in-front of the generator and taps it with his knuckles. A wooden clicking returns and Cain stands back up with Az n Laz by his sides.

Cain: “Sounds like a box there.”

Az: “Ooh, you think it’s treasure?”

Cain: “Why don’t you find a shovel over there n figure out.”

Az: “Alright but I call dibs on whatever’s in it!”

Cain: “Hey Lazarus mind helping me get this ol thing up there while Az digs himself a hole?”

Laz: “Oh yeah, of course!”

Laz and Cain lift up the generator cord to the tree house and plug in a old box tv together. The tv beams on and sits idle with nothing inside. Along side the Tv inside the treehouse is a new small beanbag, a bookshelf filled to the brim, a rug and scattered papers of future plans and Az’s doodles.

Az: “Hereees the box!” Azazel plops down the box in the center of the rug

Cain: “That was fast.”

Az: “Well it was a lot looser then it looked. Now com’on let’s open it!”

Laz pops open the dusty box and inside sits a large book and several tapes, unnamed. The three start taking things out.

Az: “tapes and a book? What a lame treasure.”

Cain: “Oh boo hoo.“

Az: “I’ll boo hoo your face.”

Laz takes out and opens the book as Cain and Az bicker. It’s a picture book dated 6 years back. The first page immediately catches him off guard.

Laz: “Hey guys? This book has photos of our siblings.”

Az: “Wait really?”

Cain: “Huh?”

Laz lays out the book on the rug with the first picture being a fuzzy image of a younger Judas and Eve. The photo is titled with marker as “photo test” in neat hand writing.

Cain: “Well I’ll be damned. I remember eve hangin out with Judas but she never talked bout it much.”

Az: “Judas never told me anything about his friends.. something about wanting to keep it to himself.”

Laz: “I wonder who took it. Looks like most the first few are of Judas and Eve.”

Az: “Well that one’s of Magdalene.”

Cain: “It’s Maggie. But yeah that’s definitely her. Whats the other pages got.”

Laz flips the page to pictures of an in progress treehouse with a folded up blueprint in the pages.

Laz: “Guess her and whoever her friends were the ones to build this place.”

Az: “No wonder it was so shotty when we found it. A bunch of kids made it!”

Cain: “Uh-huh, we’re also kids Az.”

Az: “Teens! There’s a difference.”

Cain: “Hey. Is that Mary?”

Laz: “What?”

Cain: “Ya sister! Look!”

Cain points to the edge of a photo where a younger Bethany can be seen flying and lifting a plank up to the tree for Eve. Laz takes the book to look closer.

Laz: “..What..? But she..I..”

Laz flips quickly to the next page with Cain and Az looking over his shoulder to peek. The next few pages have multiple pictures of Beth but Laz keeps flipping until coming to a torn page with half a photo still on it. The photo obviously had Judas but Bethany’s pigtails could be seen past the tear.

Az: “Uhm.. you okay Lazarus?”

Laz: “Did you know Judas and Bethany were friends..?”

Az: “I-I thought you did..”

Laz: “No she- I was always sick in my room and she never really told me about her friends other then Maggie.. but she wouldn’t lie to me..”

Az: “mmh..”

Cain: “Well- uh- maybe if we watch these tapes we could figure some more out!”

Laz: “..Yeah. Yeah let’s do that. Besides the rest of the pages in this book look torn up, no point in trying to read torn truths, haha..”

Az: “Yeah let’s see what these old things are. What’s the first one?”

Cain: “Just called “Test”. Guess we better test it out.”

Laz: “I swear to the lord- just put the tape in you dum-dum.”

Cain and Az giggle n Cain after slides the 1st tape in to watch.

End of Pt 1

Next part will be linked once it is up

[lostonehero]

What remains after eternity

Plot boys

Ok, maybe this was a stupid idea. He could have taken Tink, but ne he wanted to just leave. He wasn't mad at what they were doing, cured a virus fixed a planet... ok, not fix by any standards for normal species, but these were Xeon, and well, they didn't excatly follow proper rules of life. It was nice for the first couple hundred years, but they died before they even started. He knows they would be fine, but he still missed them.... mostly him.

Now, he was barely ten years out, and he greatly miscalculated how much fuel he had. He ran out of food too, but it's not like he hasn't starved before that wasn't an issue. He sent out a signal to any passing ships, but this part of space wasn't exactly well traveled. He was bored, and he really hated being alone. He wouldn't be here for forever, but he didn't look forward to how long he would have to wait. It's funny that he can remember a time he used to isolate on purpose. Another lifetime another time.

The coms came to life due to running on solar energy because Izzy insisted it was important. "This is the pilot of the spaceship Aurora, Drumbot Brian. Do you need assistance?"

He opens his mouth to speak, but a rasp comes out. When was the last time he drank something? He normally helps remind him to be human. He settles on tapping out a sos hoping whoever this guy is knows it.

"Right, our mechanic, Nastya, will be bringing you on." Brian pauses. "Will you need assistance leaving?"

He tapped out a probably, and the feed cut.

.......

"Since when do we pick up strays?" Ashes sighs as the gate is closed, and it is safe to return to the hanger.

"Lost a bet against one of Jonny's brats." Nastya sighs. "Besides, it's something new while we travel, Marius's planet isn't excatly on a map that has been updated in eons."

"Fair point, but why are we going to get this guy out?" Ashes pulls the latch to this ship open.

"You were free, and Valerie and Trevor are still hunting that fucked creature. Brian is trying to get Thomas from taking control because he claims he knows the way Aurora thinks it's hilarious. Jonny is playing along with Mae's game, which is frankly terrifying he seemingly has eyes on the back of his head. Raphaella and Carmillia are taking notes on that. Lyf is well... he hasn't left the nest Byron built, and Byron is still standing guard, but he is building little machines that TS helps with. Ivy, Alex, and Janet are in a three-way chess match. Finally, Tim is in the gardens, taking a nap in the dirt."

"Ah." Ashes sighs. "Well fuck it let's get this guy."

Nastya nods and heads inside. The ship was small and barren. It looked like whoever was inside hasn't moved around in a long time. There was an eerie calm in the ship as they approached the captain quarters. "Oh fuck!"

There's a man lying in the captain chair. He was thin, too thin. His eyes were empty sockets as a black fluid lazily leaked from the sockets. His hair was spiked up and pitch black. His skin was incredibly pale, nearly white. He was tall, and his clothes hung off of him. His ears were pointed. He wheezed out a greeting.

Ashes curses. "He's fucking alive?"

"Just grab him and take him to the infirmary!" Nastys groans. "Fucking Jonny knows enough first aid to at least get him talking."

Ashes slings the man over their shoulder. "I'll start heating up, broth."

......

He opened his eyes again now in a cot. His head was tilted up as he was made to drink a broth. He grimaced and pushed away the soup. "I-i I'm fine." His voice was rough and quiet, barely a whisper.

"No, you ain't." A man responded, putting the bowl aside. The man looked familair.

"Do I... do I know you?" He grimaced and sat himself up. Staring at him, he could tell immediately he was New Texan. He looked like... he looked like him.

"I think I would remember a man with eyes that constantly leaked black fluid even when closed." He sighs. "The names Jonny, you're in Aurora in the infirmary."

"Lazarus." Laz sighs and lays back down. "I'm Lazarus, you can just call me Laz."

"Are you going to finish this broth, or am I going to have to force you?" Jonny scowls.

"I'll finish it." Laz sighs and lets Jonny feed him till it's finished. "Happy?"

Jonny sighs. "What did you do?"

"Not one of your kids." Ashes raised a brow.

"Oh, I know, there would have been more effort to pretend they were injured to see the stray." Jonny smiles. "What do you want, Ashes?"

Ashes snickers. "They are a bunch of yous. Nah, I just wanted to check in it is a part of my job, yaknow."

Jonny waves. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say." He shakes his head. "What do you actually want?"

Ashes smirks. "We've got a bit of wager going on about the stray."

Jonny sighs. "I don't bet."

"I ain't asking you that." Ashes smirks. "What's his species?"

"I can answer myself." Laz huffs. "I'm human."

"Fuck!" Ashes huffs. "Tim won the fucking pot and he doesn't even know what that fucking means."

Jonny snickers. "Pretty fucked up for a human."

"Your comments are noted, and I don't care." Laz frowns.

Ashes smirks. "He'll fit in well."

"Who will fit in well?" Trevor walks in slightly singed.

"Who set you on fire?" Jonny sighs.

"I wasn't set on fire. That confectionery creature can set itself on fire. I just happened to be holding it before it escaped." Trevor rolls his eyes. "Totally different."

"Sure." Jonny shakes his head. "Sit."

Trevor huffs and heads to the empty cot. "It's not even that bad."

"Not that bad, you're still smoking." Jonny begins to clean the burns. "I told you to relax."

"Just because I'm aging doesn't mean I can't help." Trevor frowns. "Dad, I'm fine it's just the process. It's slowed, but it's been two and a half centuries it catches up with us, and then we revert and start all over again." He lightly headbutts his father.

"Just let me adjust to this, you little shit." Jonny sighs. "I know how this works. Each of you explained it in great detail multiple times. I'm allowed to fucking worry."

"Fine, fine." Trevor smiles.

Ashes raised a brow, looking at Laz.

"You're letting that guy baby you?" Laz snickers.

"You're the fucking stray!" Trevor huffs. "Dad shoot him."

"Wait.... wait." Laz sits up. "You're Jonny D'ville?"

Jonny raised a brow, turning to face Laz. "Yeah and?"

"I take back my previous statement." Laz pauses. "I also would like to apologize for my previous comment."

"Who is he?" Jonny looks back to Trevor.

"Lazarus, he's part of our crew, and by the looks of it, he went on his own and forgot to bring food and / or fuel, probably both. Unfortunately, he has the habit of forgetting what he needs to function properly in depressed hazes." Trevor sighs. "How long have you been floating?"

"Decade, probably." Laz sighs. "The others are busy, wanted to find you guys. They would have collected me when they were done."

"He's lying it's been more than a decade." Trevor frowns. "But the others would have picked him up, Izzy always has trackers on the small ships. He obviously didn't take the one Aiden packed for this situation."

"He's done this before?" Ashes raised a brow.

"Yeah, when he thinks the others are taking too long to pick us up. It's really fucking stupid." Trevor sighs.

"I miss you guys." Laz huffs.

"Which isn't a lie per say, but he mostly means Thomas." Trevor frowns again. "Did you give him something? I can make some more broth."

Jonny ruffles Trevor's hair. "Yes, I gave him some broth. You can stay and chat. I'll tell your siblings."

Trevor shifted and frowns. "Actually, could you stay a bit? Laz never heard you tell a story that isn't a recording."

"You brat if you want me to tell you a story you could just ask." Jonny hops up on the cot next to Trevor. "You both better listen."

Laz smiled, but he was already drifting off to sleep.

Ashes smiles softly and quietly slips out of the infirmary. Maybe they were getting attached to this softer, Jonny. His kids were a great bonus, too.

.......

"Hey, kid." Ashes raised a brow at Thomas, who was nodding off in the pilot seat, and Brian was napping curled up under his feet.

Thomas has silver through his dark brown hair. His horns were freshly cut to halfway, nowhere near as short as Jonny used to keep them. He was in a similar outfit to what Jonny used to wear except with no belts. Age was showing on his features, but he was happy. "Yes?" He cracks open one eye. "Thought you were going to annoy dad and the stray."

"You lost the bet." Ashes hums.

"A shame." Thomas tosses a golden tooth at them who catches it. "What? You didn't come all the way here to tell me that. Is dad freaking out again?"

"You all have his intuition." Ashes chuckles. "No, but your brother got himself set on fire and got him in a worry."

Thomas snorts. "I warned him that creature can catch fire." He hops off the seat and pets Brian. "Ooo, how much hair did he lose?"

"That's for you to see." Ashes smiles. However smart, his kids were leaving out some part of the truth was enough to get them going along. They were happy to see that they didn't have Jonny's paranoia and distrust. Fuck Jonny was a good dad and they never saw that coming. They were proud of him.

Thomas picked up his cane, keeping it to his side. He doesn't use it much yet, but he will. "I'll be back for my seat, Brian."

Brian lets out a soft growl and curls up tighter.

Ashes watches him go and walks next to Brian. "Did you give up your job to be a lap dog?"

Brian glares at them and shifts back. "No, but he unfortunately does know where to find Byron's planet. That's where his old crew was heading before they were taken back to New Texas. They normally don't get sent back there when it happens, but they were looking for a break." He sighs. "He's also a better navigator than I realized."

Ashes shakes their head. "All of you are getting soft."

"I think it comes from age. I can say the same about you." Brian smiles.

"I suppose you can." Ashes smiles. "However, I will never admit that."

Brian nods. "However, Jonny said we should be doing a show soon, and by show, he means causing complete chaos on a random planet after we spend time on Byron's planet."

Ashes grins. "That sounds amazing."

........

"I heard some idiot got set on fire." Thomas snickers.

"I didn't get set on fire asshole." Trevor huffs.

"Boys, you're arguing semantics at this point." Jonny sighs. "How's your leg, Thomas?"

Thomas steps in. "Fine so far, but it's still early. So, who's the stray?"

"It's Laz." Trevor sighs. "He's asleep, though."

"Lazarus?" Thomas slowly walks in by his bed. "How long this time?"

"He claims a decade." Trevor pulls up his blanket. "I don't think he's being honest. You know how much he keeps in his little portals."

Thomas frowns.

Jonny puts a hand on his son's shoulder. "Relax, he's just asleep. I'm sure you can chew him out once he wakes up."

Thomas sighs out a laugh. "Thanks, dad."

"He's also not allowed to meet Tim, not until he can walk. Trust me, he's being a bit off the rails still figuring out his forms. We still haven't seen all of them, and he's grown attached to his cactus one." Jonny pauses in the doorway. "Can't wait to actually have a proper talk to your partner."

Thomas covers his face as he blushes. "Daddddd." Thomas whines.

Trevor laughs.

"Have fun, boys." Jonny snickers leaving.

.......

"Human?" Tim points.

Trevor and Thomas scream in shock.

"How the fuck do you even do that?!" Trevor holds his chest.

Laz furrows his brows and wakes up from the screaming. "What?"

"Human." Tim points quite close to Lazarus's face.

"Yes?" Laz rubs his eyes, making a mess of the black substance.

Tim nods and stands next to Laz on the bed. He tilts his head, seemingly studying Laz.

"Who are you?" Laz sits himself up.

Tim points at Laz again. "Priest." He starts to whistle and walk away.

"I keep telling dad to put a bell on him." Thomas covers his face and groans.

"I think he tried." Trevor sighs. "You ok, Laz?"

"Seriously who the fuck was that? How the fuck... how." Laz swallows.

"How what?" Thomas raised his brow.

"I..." Laz frowns. "He knew what I was before this."

"A priest?" Trevor looked confused. "Never took you for the type."

"Human priests are extremely different to whatever you have on New Texas." Laz narrows his gaze.

"He didn't say they were the same." Thomas sighs. "How are you feeling?"

"Hungry." Laz sighs. "And really weirded out, neither of you answered my question."

"That is Gunpowder Tim, currently just Tim as his mind is still recovering." Thomas frowns. "Careful around him. He's very hard to predict."

"It's really depressing." Trevor hums. "Humans are quite cruel creatures."

"I'm well aware of that." Laz sighs. "Where did your dad go?"

Thomas and Trevor shrug.

Laz frowns. "Who else is here?"

"The mechanisms, and us oh and our grandmother Valerie." Trevor pauses. "And the ship Aurora of course."

Aurora chirps. "There is broth in cabinet in a thermos, Jonny left in there."

Thomas nods and grabs it. "Thank you."

"Does she turn off the air like Hal?" Lazarus takes the thermos. "Thank you."

"I can not due to the garden and Tim's plants." Aurora hums. "Alex and Janet asked me the same questions. Dies Hal enjoy turning off the air?"

"No, but he does it every fight he has with Izzy." Thomas sighs. "It's annoying, but ultimately harmless since Izzy built us masks to let us continue to breathe."

"Thomas, come here." Lazarus makes grabby hands. "Help me eat."

"And that's my cue to leave." Trevor sighs and gets out of his cot. "Want me to tell everyone else?"

Laz huffs. "Thomas!"

Thomas sits next to Laz on his cot. "Might as well. He's still out of it. Just let them know he's still in starvation mind."

Laz wraps his arms around Thomas. "You know you're very warm."

Trevor nods. "Of course, I'll let dad know to make more broth."

"Thanks." Thomas holds up the thermos. "Time to eat old one."

Laz smiles and rests against Thomas.

........

The bright green liquid is plunged into Byron's arm. "Ok, that should kick in soon. Let me know if you feel wrong." Raphaella smiles

Byron was speaking broken common. His language did not translate well. "Last one?" He rubs his arm.

"For now, the virus is tricky it adapts and changes. You're healing just nice excatly linearly." Raphaella frowns. "Have you been keeping that journal?"

"Ah yes!" Byron nods. "I do not know when I will change like you have described. I hope my journals will help."

Raphealla smiles softly. "Come on, I'm sure the stray wants some company. Heard it's one of the kids' crew. You need a safe place to rest as this starts to take effect."

Byron nods and sways on his feet as he hits the ground. Raphaella quickly helps Byron up. "Thank thank you."

"Come on, this is much faster than I realized." Raphaella had a look of concern Byron couldn't see as he continued to stumble. She picked him up as he collapsed. "Fuck, Lyf is going to kill me."

......

Lyf barely has time to put the journals down next to Byron's sleeping form before he was throwing up in a trashcan.

Janet was rubbing his back. "I told you I can handle this. I can explain his questions."

Lyf rubs his mouth. "It's fine, just some nausea. I'll probably enter another period of nothing happening soon enough." He groans. "Second thought I'm going to the bathroom." He runs out of the infirmary.

Raphealla frowns. "Can't fix it, you know how that went."

Janet shudders. "I would really rather not."

A soft groan from the bed alerted the two. Marius takes a breath and rubs his face. He blinks and looks around, confused. "When did..." He stares at Raphaella. "When did we get back on Aurora? Did I miss the train?"

Raphealla takes a moment. "Marius, what do you mean?"

"The train, Yog Sogoth, we're supposed to be in the prison cell. There's a new..." Marius furrows his brows as his hand goes through his hair, and he feels the small horns. "Now that can't be right." Hd sticks his fingers in his mouth, and his features pale a bit more. He quickly touches his shoulders, feeling the bone spurs. He does a double take staring at his arm, seeing the mechanism spread above his elbow like an infection he could see his flesh between the metal. "...what happened?"

Raphealla frowns, motioning to Janet to warn Lyf. She takes a breath. "The journals next to you will help, but you're not going to like it."

"What happened, Raph? Just tell me." Marius hugs his chest. "What happened to me?"

Raphealla sighs and sits next to Marius. "Short explanation a bioweapon virus made to effect your species and planet. You got infected, and we've been trying to cure it. Each stage of healing you either forget or just play violin till you get a form of lucidity. Thankfully, this time, we skipped the violin." She frowns. "Aurora, the timeline, please."

"Of course." Aurora displays a timeline.

"See, starting here, Nastya found you on your homeworld. We're actually traveling there now to figure out a better way for the cure. The virus is adapting to my attacks. You were in the violin mode for a long time with shirt bursts of lucidity. Next, you were lucid for 200 years, although still missing a lot of time. Then, in New Texas, you went back to violin mode, until Tim had his meltdown and you reformed with the rest of us and went back to before your mechanism or Byron era for the last 275 years. Currently, you're back, but before the bifrost incident, before.... well, do you know who Lyfrassir Edda is?"

Marius frowns, trying to take that all in. "That's the new inspector, we were supposed to meet him today..."

Raphealla thins her lips. "Oh..."

Lyf steps out, sipping on some water. "What is it you wanted to tell me."

"Um...." Janet pauses. "Yeah, this is bad."

"You didn't tell him?" Raphaella rubs her face.

Lyf raised a brow as he walked past the two to Marius's side. "Byron?"

Marius tilted his head. "You're my mate?"

Lyf takes a deep breath. "Do you know who I am?"

"I should. We're bonded." Marius rubs his temples. "Who are you?"

"Former second class inspector Lyfrassir Edda." Lyf smiles softly. "You can call me Lyf."

"I mated with a mortal?" Marius looks scared.

Lyf shakes his head. "Unfortunately, Yog Sogoth decided otherwise, and I'm not allowed to age or die. You're going to be stuck with me till the end of time."

Marius seems to relax if only slightly. "How?"

"You blamed the heat on your hair." Lyf chuckles watching Marius's hair curl into little hearts. "I think it was getting annoyed with you."

"I..." Marius swallows. "I don't... you're not a xeon."

"No, I'm not. I'm an asguardian, maybe a little jouton in my blood, but I don't really care about that. it just makes my skin blue and gives me my tail." Lyf burps and grimaces. "However, this adapting process is awful, and I will blame you for every hurdle."

Marius shyly smiles. "You're not dead."

"I am not. You're a doctor. You should know how to tell that." Lyf smirks.

"Then I should do a full examination." Marius reaches out and tilts Lyf's head. "Although we shouldn't have a through exam out in the open. I should memorize my mates body."

Lyf lights up in a rainbow static blush. "I almost forgot how insufferable you were, you flirt." He bites his lip. "I suppose I could make room in my schedule, Doctor Byron."

Marius swallows. "Say that again."

"Doctor Byron Marius Von Raum." Lyf smiles.

"How about you both get a fucking room?" Ashes pinches their brow. "Fuck this shit where the fuck did the stray go?"

Janet blinks. "Oh Thomas's room."

"Fuck thank you." Ashes groans leaving the infirmary.

Lyf groans, covering his face. "Forgot we had an audience."

"Awww, the inspector is shy." Marius chuckles.

"You know what I lied, go fuck yourself Von Raum." Lyf huffs and walks out.

Marius chuckles softly.

Raphealla smiles. "Go read your journals."

"As you wish." Marius lays back down and pulls one of the journals. "Never thought I would ever share my heat. I'm actually more surprised I didn't kill him."

Raphealla pauses, looking at Janet. "So if it's not consensual, they really fight to the death?"

"Mmh yeah and eat the loser." Janet shrugs. "But obviously, his body knew better."

"I have so many questions." Raphaella rubs her face.

........

To Marius, it's been ages since he has even seen his native language written, let alone heard it be spoken. He knew Lyf wasn't truly speaking it, but because of the heat bond, that's what he will forever hear from his partner. These journals were his he knew his own handwriting. He knew the language which was written, and he knew nobody else on the ship could write, let alone speak his tongue.

He waited for Raphaella and that woman, Janet, he thinks that was her name to leave before he actually started to read. It was odd that he didn't recall any of this. He wanted to hear his language again on his lips, and he took a breath and began to reas aloud.

"I was told to start journaling since I and they don't know how long I will be lucid for. Lyfrassir has been wonderful, I am still shaking from our heat together. He's been quite patient with me, I know I am not the same man he fell in love with, but that doesn't deter him at all. I learn new things every day. I still don't understand everyone, but I'm trying to learn this common. It doesn't really translate well."

"I haven't told Lyf about my changes yet. I don't need him worrying about me. He has his own changes to get through. He's been enjoying the nest I made for him, Janet got me the supplies. I still can't believe the immortal claims, but he is insistent. He tells me all these lovely tales from his home. He asks if I play an instrument, and I do. He likes my playing even if it's not great. He asks me to sing, but I can't. He still asks, though."

"Today Lyf was -" Marius stops as someone clears their throat. "Inspector?"

Lyf smiles. "Sorry to interrupt, but I brought some sweet breads. You once told me these are your favorites."

"They are." Marius shuts the journal and places it back on the pile. "How long has this been us?"

"The heat bond or us together?" Lyf cuts Marius a slice than himself a slice as he sits next to Marius. "Us? I can't remember. The heat bond I am uncomfortably aware of it down to the second is that normal?"

Marius chuckles. "Yes, that is normal." He holds the plate and frowns. "How long have I been sick?"

"I don't know." Lyf frowns. "None of us know how long you were stranded on a dead planet. I can tell you how long it was for the others er no Tim isn't all there so we can't get a straight answer from him. I.... wait, you don't know what happened." He pauses poking at his sweet bread. "Do you want to know?"

"Yes." Marius takes a breath. "Just tell me, please."

Lyf nods and takes away his plate and puts it aside. "You won't want to eat during this."

"I've been though a lot that is quite a high bar." Marius raised a brow.

"Trust me." Lyf sighs as he begins.

Marius swallows as he refuses the plate. "You can tell me about Jonny later. You're right." He hugs his knees. "How do I go back to being not lucid or to another me with memories. I don't... I can't just play along."

"Nobody is asking you to." Lyf leans on Marius. "At most, you have to let Tim hold your tail. Also, don't play with his dial even if he tries to get you to. No, that isn't a sex thing it's an actual dial around his neck. Oh shit wait the other people here. Jonny's kids are here. The gods won't let them die, and they are all little shits just like Jonny. Janet is one of them. Jonny's mother is also here she is terrifying and don't fuck with her or try to fuck her. Seriously, there is a line."

"Oh the god killer Valerie, I am familair with her." Marius frowns. "Who let Jonny reproduce?"

"Wait, stop shut up." Lyf grabs Marius's shoulders. "What the fuck do you mean the god killer? I know she exists, but Valerie can not be the god killer."

"There was a wanted poster in the jail we were kept in. Did you not see it? I also met her a few times traveling on my own. We never talked she always killed me. She's probably a god herself on account of the fact she can't die." Marius raised a brow. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"First, no, she has a mechanism like Jonny. Both have a mechanized heart. Second how the fuck did you know she was Jonny's mother?" Lyf blinks stunned.

"They smell like each other. I'm sorry she's a mechanism?" Marius looks confused.

"Yeah and Carmillia is trying to fuck her. Not important, you can smell that they are related?" Lyf rubs his face.

"Yes, and now that you mention it, Janet does smell like Jonny, so that makes sense on Jonny having kids." Marius crossed his arms. "New Texans are hermaphroditic species. Did Jonny have them himself, or did he have a partner?"

"He had them himself." Lyf raised a brow. "If you ask me if Jonny had a consistent partner, the answer is no, they all have different sperms donors. Tim is not the father of any of them."

"Well, I know that she didn't smell like Tim." Marius huffs. "I'm not an idiot."

Lyf pinches his brow. "Fine, Mr. I know everything but his own memories" why the fuck am I craving teeth?"

"Your body is changing, and I can give you mine they will grow back." Madius smiles. "I wouldn't want you to go hungry, my mate."

"You're fucking impossible." Lyf crawls into Marius's lap. "I hate you and your romance, Von Raum."

"And what would you have me say? Go ask TS for its collection of teeth? I rather you be safe and take mine." Marius smirks. "I would let you eat me whole until you're satisfied if it pleased you."

Lyf hides his face in Marius's chest. "Stop you manic. I'm literally going to have to fuck to if you keep this up."

"I suppose that can be arranged." Marius kissed the top of Lyf's head. He crossed his legs as his face lights up a mix of red and purple. "I seem to have underestimated how powerful my instincts are influencing my hormones. I know we shared my heat, and we are mates, but I really don't know you."

"Well..." Lyf looks Marius in the eyes. "I'm Lyfrassir Edda, and I'm from Asguard. I enjoy mead and baking. I'm not that good of a shot with a gun, I have powers of Yog Sogoth, which I'm still trying to learn how to control. I'm absolutely awful at cards, and I like to write poetry."

Marius sighs but smiles. "That isn't what I meant."

"Well, I guess I just have to keep being by your side till I can figure out what you meant. You're not going to scare me off." Lyf hugs Marius tight. "Is this too much?"

Marius shakes his head. "N-no, just go slow. I don't know what happened or how to handle a post heat. Can I trust you not to take advantage? My instincts and hormones are fighting against my lucid mind."

"I will go at whatever speed you need. Is the light system good? Green for good, yellow slow down and red is a hard stop." Lyf smiles when Marius nods. "How are you now with me in your lap?"

"Green." Marius takes a breath. "Green, just don't grind or kiss me."

Lyf smiles and nods. "Of course, but I need to leave."

Marius raised a brow.

"Marius, if I don't make it to a trash, can I am going to empty my stomach all over you." Lyf was growing pale.

Marius nodded and helped push Lyf off his lap to vomit in the nearby trash can. "Are you ok?"

Lyf coughs and groans. "Not really, your heat infected me and my body is still fucking changing."

"It tends to take a long time to adjust. For myself and you, since we are different species." Marius gives a nervous smile. "Shall I help you to our nest?"

"You don't want a separate room?" Lyf raised a brow as he stood back up.

"That really wouldn't be wise." Marius grimaced and didn't elaborate. He collects the journals. "Show me to our nest."

Lyf nods. "Ok, I will." He says, collecting the baked good.

.......

"Thomas?" Laz's voice was stronger, and he was getting dressed with the clothes laid out.

"Yes?" Thomas hums softly. He was dusting off the excess sand before he got dressed.

"We're on Aurora." Laz gets up and cracks his back.

"Are you finally out of starvation mode?" Thomas pokes his head in pulling on underwear.

Laz huffs. "I would roll my eyes, but I don't have them to roll, but we are on your father's ship."

"That we are." Thomas walks out in just his underwear. "Do you have a problem?"

"No, I just the way you guys talked about everything." Laz crossed his arms. "I don't know." He sighs. "Did you tell them I wouldn't remember because of the state I was in?"

"Yes, I did." Thomas pauses, grabbing a pair of pants. "Actually, I have to ask about something."

"Ask me about what?" Laz raised a brow looking at Thomas.

"Tim came by because I brought you to my room, er Gunpowder Tim, but he isn't all there mentally as he is recovering, but I'm getting off track. He called you a priest." Thomas turns to face Laz, who looks a mixed of concerned and shock.

Laz blinks. "How did he know?"

Thomas shrugs. "None of us really know how his mind works or how it's healing. He is kind, but I don't think he can remember how to be violent. Well, not on purpose." He finishes getting dressed pulling a shirt over his horns. "Tell me what you find when you look in his head."

"I will." Laz smiles softly. "Well, I'm looking forward to properly meeting your father and his crew." He takes Thomas's hand. "Shall we head out?"

"We shall." Thomas pulls him along.

......

"Oh gods, fuck." Lyf nearly bites his tongue.

Laz frowns. "Sorry."

Lyf spins to face Laz. "Oh not you, him." He points to Tim, who Laz just notices.

"Fuck!" Laz grabs his chest. "How do you just appear? Are you an acolyte? Which god?"

Tim tilts his head. "Human!" He points at Laz.

"Right, yeah, I am human. Didn't answer my question." Laz raised a brow.

"The gods abandoned me." Tim smiles.

"Um...." Laz pauses as Jonny comes into the room.

"Tim, stop scaring the newbie." Jonny doesn't even flinch when Tim grabs his tail. "I got us breakfast come on."

"Jonny." Tim kisses Jonny's forehead.

Jonny smiles, then huffs. "No hugs I'm going to drop the fucking food you brat." He quickly puts the plates down as Tim pushed him to the floor to cuddle. "We are not fucking napping. I want my breakfast."

Thomas sighs. "Good morning."

Tim gets back up with prodding and sits next to Jonny, who shoves a plate in front of him, which he makes no move to eat.

"Is he not eating again?" Mae frowns from an opposite table. "Oh, welcome back to sanity, Laz."

"Right." Laz raised a brow. "Are you sure he's ok?" He groans as Thomas elbows him.

"That's Tim. He's recovering." Thomas huffs.

"He would recover faster if he fucking ate." Jonny growls.

"Maybe it has to do with whatever setting he's on." Alex pokes her head between the two.

"No fucking around in the mess hall!" Ashes growls from their spot.

Laz smiles softly, sitting next to Lyf. "So your Yog Sogoth acolyte." He pauses. "Why are you eating teeth in um milk?"

Lyf narrows his gaze. "Ask that fucker."

Marius is unaware sitting at a different table.

"Right, so it's not because of Yog Sogoth?" Laz smiles as Thomas hands him a plate of food. "Thank you."

"No?" Lyf pauses, raising a brow at Laz. "Does your god make you eat teeth?"

"No." Laz hums. "Wait, does cannibalism count?"

"Yes." Jonny says, trying to feed Tim, who keeps pushing his hands away. "You need to eat."

Thomas sighs, swallowing his bite. "I forget you're a cannibal dad."

Laz chokes on his drink. "Excuse me?"

"Both of you finish your food." Jonny sighs. "Fuck it, come on Tim were changing that fucking dial to get you to eat something." He gets up after finishing inhaling his food and drags Tim to the training room.

"I'm sorry a cannibal?" Laz blinks.

"Did you like not listen to any of the tales we told you?" Thomas rolls his eyes. "Also, who's teeth are those?"

Lyf swallows. "Marius's, but I think TS put some of its collection in here as well."

"Ah." Thomas hums. "Honestly, I didn't think you would have an answer."

"Still more sane than Tink." Laz frowns. "I think I might pay Tim a visit later."

Lyf raised a brow.

Laz smirks. "You'll figure it out."

.......

"Alone today?" Jonny crossed his arms.

"Laz is trying to corner Tim to talk. It's not exactly going well, and I don't want to watch him get impaled again."

Jonny snorts and puts his book down. "Come here, come sit by your no good father."

Thomas shakes his head and sits next to his dad. "I think you're pretty great."

"What do you want, brat?" Jonny smiles as Thomas leans on him.

"Do you like Lazarus?" Thomas sighs.

Jonny crossed his arms. "Thomas, it doesn't matter if I like him." He rolls his eyes. "He's interesting, but I don't know him well enough to truly judge him. However he's a fucking idiot for trying to corner Tim."

"Why? Tim doesn't mind it when we corner him." Thomas frowns and furrows his brows.

"Because Tim views you as his children even if you aren't. He's in there, but he can't make proper sense of his surroundings or what he's told yet. Laz is a stranger and human." Jonny sighs. "He hasn't excatly been around any humans expect the ones who hurt him."

"I guess." Thomas sits upright. "I want to help him more, but that's Izzy's thing. She is the one who just wants to help and has the mind to do just that. I want you to meet the rest of the crew, but I don't even know if they would still be at the Xeon planet by the time we get there."

"Why were you heading there anyway?" Jonny gently headbutts his son.

Thomas chuckles. "Janet won our little hat trick, so she got to pick our next adventure. She wanted to go there and help the planet recover to xeon standard of living, which meant figuring out what went so wrong. Now we know about the virus, but we didn't know back then. Izzy was excited she never got to work with xeon before, and Aiden was relieved we weren't doing anything stupid. Tink was annoyed, but she always is when she doesn't win."

"You guys never made it." Jonny frowns.

Thomas shrugs. "We're going now. I just hope they're still there."

"Well, I'm sure they will be." Jonny gets up and holds out his hand. "Come on, we have to find your man before Tim rips him apart."

Thomas takes his father's hand. "Yeah, yeah."

.......

"This isn't the worst mind I've been in." Laz hums. He looks around the lab that seems to have gray rock in the walls. There was a faint scent of dust and bleach. "Now, where are you?"

The cell lie empty save for a few bloodstained and a worn mat. "You shouldn't be here." A small boy with bright blue eyes and shirt brown hair stares up at Laz.

"Has your mind split? Let me guess you're his childhood self." Laz curses when a knife goes through his thigh. "Fuck."

"You are wrong." The boy scowls, pulling his knife back.

"You didn't have to fucking stab me." Laz grimaced as the wound closes. "Then what are you?"

"I...." The boy frowns. "I don't know. This is my mind, and I woke up in there." He points to the cage. "I don't think I'm supposed to be small."

Laz hasn't encountered something like this before. It was concerning. "Do you know what happened?"

The kid frowns. "A lot of bad things."

"What's your name?" Laz crouched down by the child.

"Gunpowder Tim. I'm supposed to be him. I don't know how I'm supposed to fix that." Tim frowns. "I'm really hurt. I want to get better. I don't know how."

"Time and rest, unfortunately, for these types of injuries. However, this is a first never seen a mind revert this far back to recover." Laz picks up Tim. "Come on, let's find a nice soft bed to recover in."

Tim blinks and holds on tight. "I don't think there is one. What's your name? You aren't Scratch."

"I am not, but you can call me Lazarus." Laz smiles.

"That's not your name." Tim frowns.

"And why do you know that?" Laz raised a brow as he meandered down the halls.

"You wear a cross. You picked Lazarus on purpose. It's worn and reforged, so you've had it for a long time, probably as long as you've been around or infected as you put it." Tim's blue eyes stare deep into Lazarus's pits of eyes.

"And you've also lost your faith." Laz frowns as they make it to a makeshift cot. It's military grade, but it's the closest thing he has for a bed besides the bloody cot.

Tim curls up when placed on the cot. "What's the use in faith when the gods abandoned you no matter how hard to pray." He pulls the blanket over him.

Laz sits on the floor. "I used to be a priest. That didn't save me."

"Faith never saved anyone." Tim says before his breathing evens out, and he's asleep.

"Maybe we would have been friends once upon a time, kid." Laz smiles and vanishes.

.......

Tim is curled up tightly around Laz.

Laz sighs. "Do you know how to get him off? I clearly underestimated how strong the man is."

Thomas snickers.

Jonny sighs. "Tim, come on, we have a bed to nap in."

Tim is quiet his breathing is slow and steady.

"Yeah, that isn't going to work." Laz huffs. "Thomas stop fucking laughing or I'm going to break your cane."

Thomas giggles and takes a breath. "Kind of hard to do that when you're pinned to the floor. Enjoy bonding to your father in law."

"Go fuck yourself." Laz growls.

"Fuck me yourself coward." Thomas smirks.

"Your father is literally right there." Laz shimmies his arm out to just point.

"And I'm a slut why would that bother me?" Jonny snickers. "You got a shy one."

"He's human. What do you expect?" Thomas smiles, leaning on his cane.

Laz huffs. "My species has nothing to do with this!"

[violet-ophelia-boss]

“STORY OF A GEM, A STORY OF A MAN”

A certainlylaz centred fanfiction/story.

! mention of some chatters/viewers by their nickname, Like in the rest of this fanfic!

CHAPTER 1: THE START OF THE ADVENTURE Laz was streaming as usual on a random Wednesday, trying a new game he was offered to play on stream for the first time. There was a character, who resembles like the streamer and some silly floating creatures following them. They all looked different, from the shape to the colors, to the ones who had badges and the one’s who don’t. Some of them even had strange and/or cute little faces! But they all had a tag, with their name and (most of them) pronouns. << These little creatures are so cute! I could only wish they were real….>> thought Laz, spacing out of the stream. After a few minutes the stream shut down without apparent reason, but Laz somehow didn’t notice. Then, a strange sound from behind the man was bothering (?). Laz turned around and saw a white-light blue themed creature running out of a lavender- deep purple portal. <<FOLLOW ME. N O W !!>> the creature shouts, pulling Laz’s hair, making him go to the portal, closed after he entered. After a little bit the creature calmed down and started just walking in a precise direction, with a possible goal in mind. << so…….”Cinnamom”……>> The guy started, struggling a little to read the name tag. <<What are these things attached to your jacket?>> He asked, pointing at their jacket. <<Badges. The green one with a white sword it was given me for my work, that is to protect the others that are like me and control them for everyone’s safety. The others are from big experiences that I lived and participated from time to time>>. Laz listened carefully, still not believing their eyes of what he was seeing. They were the creatures from the game, but even more detailed than that! Then Cinnamom stopped and got in the group of the other “creatures”. Laz still couldn’t believe his eyes for how many were they! So he slapped himself a few times(LMAOOO), trying to figure out if he was hallucinating or not. << Is he fucking dumb?>> whispered kinda loudly one of them. << HEY!.......”Miridoki”………SHUT UP! >> (so sorry miri, I needed a good chatter here) Shouted in response, stuttering and indecisive of their own words. << What are you?....... like, are you guys even real?>> Laz asks, still in confusion. << Simple. We are your guide and a sort of mentor>> responds one of them, apparentely called “ studio_tessie”. << We are gonna really annoy the fuck outta you >:D >> two of the large group said menacingly in unison, called “The_Syndicate_System” and “Renn_fang” (MY BELOVEDS <33). << Ah shit.>> Laz whispers, knowing from that moment that the long journey started now.

-Author: yours truly, v.o.b./ druima :D

[llocket]

okay so first is andrew and hes literally perfect (HES MEEE IM ANDREW TRUST!)

"Andrew Kreiss was ostracized by society due to albinism, with only his mother for consolation. They were evicted from their home by Landlord Marshall, who wanted his mother to abandon ‘the cursed child’. His mother died from illness later. He became a grave keeper when he grew up, at Laz Cemetery. Shortly after, corpses started to disappear from coffins after he saw a poster for wanting bodies of medical value. Since most of the people at Laz were only there because they were rich and not good people like Andrew thought deserved to be there, he dug up their corpses and sold them for medical study. After being discovered, he fled the cemetery. A letter of invitation from the Manor later changed everything- the letter’s words let Andrew feel warmth and understanding for the first time in a long time. He decided to go to the Manor and see for himself; perhaps he could find the answer he seeks there."

theres his background, so like basically hes so cool.

"

At Oletus Manor, Andrew was hired as part of the Manor staff. His job was to handle the "slabs" that were sent to him, making tombstones for them. One day, a new "slab" arrived with an invitation letter. Andrew saw this letter as a chance to return to the Temple.[7][8]

During his Manor Game, Andrew met someone he called "Mr. Will", which was the three Will brothers pretending to be one person. Andrew was asked about Mr. Will's parents, to which he knew nothing of. Mr. Will also asked Andrew to play a supporting role in his "performance", to which Andrew declined.[9]

At first, Andrew was able to communicate normally with the other members of this game. However, later in the game he stopped communicating with Antonio and 3-?-2[10] due to changes in their emotional expression. 3-1-4 was polite to Andrew, while 3-1-5 extracted information from him while concealing their own intentions. As Andrew was focused on being able to enter the "Temple," hindered his ability to see the true intentions of those in his game.[11]

3-1-5 formed a temporary alliance with Andrew at some point. As Andrew was familiar with the Manor's layout 3-1-4 used his help to set a fire underneath the stage, which resulted in 3-1-4's death. After 3-1-4 died, 3-1-5 was hostile towards Andrew, which he did not notice. 3-1-5 manipulated him with their acting skills, giving Andrew false praise for his work. This ultimately led to Andrew's death.[11]"

all was gathered from the IDV wiki...heh.... BUT HES LITTERALLY SOOO ME LIKE OMG I LOVE BRO...erm

look at his GOOFY face (make more content i need to feed)

woah andrew seems like a really well written character ALSO THEYRE ALBINO??? TAHTS SO COOL????? thats such a W for albino people 💞 i love that...

im so happy that idv has good rep, thats so cool

i need to get back into idv when i caaaaan... dude it seems like they added a billion characters after i left WHICH IS COOL i cant wait to get back into it

[pornosophical]

BG 3 unquestionably has a better look than WotR and it's basically bug free by launch comparisons, but it doesn't feel like the seeds of greatness. I'm finding the compnanions lackluster.

Astarian is a weak version of Daeran. I've yet to make it into the game but Daeran from the very start was an interesting character, witty and quippy and so unconcerned with the demonlord destroying the city he's having a party! do you want to recruit him? Astarian accosts you on the road and because he also has brainworms you can maybe team up

Wyll seems more interesting than Sosiel but we'll see if he also gets some sort of dark secret related to rage and also that bar is the LOWEST possible to clear. I have thoughts about the weird pre-course correction writers are doing with black men, making sure they're heroic but unable to resist giving them an inner darkness filled with rage. we'lll see if Wyll is in the same vein

Gale is... okay. His counterpart would be Nenio and while Nenio is interesting on paper (amnesiac kitsune with otherwise eidetic memory writing a universal encyclopedia) I found her tedious—until I dragged her into boss fights and she asked questions. we'll see if Gale is more interesting, his arc seems a bit more grounded

Shadowheart is bland Seelah. I liked Seelah but thought her arc was meh. Shadowheart's introduction was the only one that really felt like it worked, you saw her and she called out to you and you had the option to save her or not. Seelah is thrust on you at the start along with Camelia, who may be the most iconic character to come out of the game (she is useful, is she not?) so you got good and evil together

Laz seems okay, but Wenduag had her beat for obvious crazy and pathos. I wish I coulda saved her and Lann—well you can but I wasn't going to go back and re-spare her and give her the boot so she could return in act 5

it's funny because WotR is on its face a worse game but it felt so much cooler. the mythic path mechanic wasn't perfect but become a lord of elysium was really good goofy fun and the aeon path was supposed to have some cool time travel stuff

well, I'll give it another go later. took my long enough to get a char I like up. kinda glad they didn't spring for a full on face tool like a Bioware game

[gravityknife]

Correct Me if I'm Wrong Sc.03

"Nooope! Nope, I'm good, thanks, Nate. Haha!" Replied Richard.

The phone voice buzzed no, seriously, you can have the car!

Richard consoled him in a rushed manner. "Alright, thanks Nate! Have a good day, braddah, haha, bye!"

Don't hang— Nate said before Richard hung up abruptly, chuckling like a chicken gobbles.

"Brah, Nate's crazy if he thinks I'm going to take that Prius off him— I'm not surprised he's trying to get rid of it, but he's not dumping it off on me" said Richard. "His Prius is a piece 'a sh$t."

"I seen it," said Danson.

"Yeah, brah, it's like he never takes care of it," agreed Richard. "There's no way he's going to sell that car to anyone. Someone might take it, but he would have to offer his life along with it, too."

"He's trying to sell it to you?" Asked Danson, smoothing over his drink. "His Prius?"

Richard answered, "Yeah, brah, he said I could take it off him! I told him I don't want that piece 'a sh$t! You didn't just hear me talking to him?"

"No, it's just funny, becaauuse— his Prius is like— f$ckin' totaled, bro," Danson chuckled.

Richard looked up confused at Danson. He asked, "What? Who told you that?" Then he pulled a beer from his fridge and slammed it shut.

Danson informed, "Bro, like, half the neighborhood knows he wrecked his car by reversing it into his house, and he hit one of the support beams, too."

Richard hissed. "See? Danson... I told you this guy is one nut job," he said, with his Hawaii pidgin dialect kicking in more. He dropped the TV remote on his coffee table and threw himself onto the Laz-E Boy chair. "He's out of his mind offering me one wreck Prius, brah."

Danson blew his own hair out of his face. He smoothly inserted into conversation, "Bro, that's like— a critical loss for him, haha— didn't he, like— place down sixteen grand for it when it was only worth, like, four grand, too?"

"Brah, it's his Prius. I don't know, I don't care," said Richard. Richard cracked open his beer and threw his sock-covered feet up onto the ottoman. "He wants to waste money, that's on him. He wants to get rid of his car, if the idiot wants it, they can have 'um." Richard took a chug from his beer and gave a loud aaagh!

Danson pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and opened up his dating app, scrolling through various profiles, various women. One woman came up that interested him, so he stopped there and swiped on her. He read her profile out loud, "Shaelynn, forty years of age, I am a hot and busy brunette with two- nope." Danson stopped.

Richard processed for a moment then gravitated in his seat, pulling his T-shirt down over his shorts. "What?" Danson didn't respond. "Danson, what did you say?" Richard tried again.

"Some busy, brunette chick named Shaelynn, hot as f$ck, she has two kids, bro," said Danson, scrolling and swiping. "Here's this one. Maria, thirty-five—"

"What's wrong with having kids, Danson?" Fished Richard, eyeing Danson from the Laz-E Boy.

"Nothing's wrong with it, it's just that I've never been with a woman that has had kids, and I don't want to be with a woman that has kids," Danson explained.

Richard processed for a moment what Danson brought to attention. He gave his opinion with ease, saying, "Brah, MILFs are hot, brah. Even if they got kids. Why? You no like one MILF?"

The TV was transitioning from a Pizza Eatery commercial to the Superbowl game.

"No, not if they have kids, bro. You would get with a woman—," started Danson.

"So what?" Asked Richard. "And Danson, the 'M' in MILF stands for 'mother,' you dummy."

"Okay, but Richard— you would get with a woman that has kids just for the pleasure of being with a hot MILF?" Asked Danson. He shook his head and mocked, "That's too much for me, brah!"

Richard argued, "Too much my a$$, you talk about scooping up chicks left and right, Danson. How old are these chicks? Like, twenty years old?"

"And older," Danson weakly added.

"Danson. You don't know what you're missing with MILFs. You're chasing little girls. I get what you're saying about them having kids and all that— but— you don't know what you're missing," said Richard, blankly staring at the TV, watching the game begin.

"How about this— thirty-three, sexy, she got that Coke bottle curve, and she has no kids, she's religious, looking for a serious relationship, and she loves small dogs and Winter retreats," suggested Danson.

Richard adjusted the pillow behind his head. He leaned forward, added another pillow and resettled into the recliner. "Brah, it's your call. You're the one who doesn't want to have kids," said Richard.

"She doesn't have kids, I said," insisted Danson.

Richard lightning-bolted, "She's religious, brah! Come on. She's going to want to have kids after she marries and then you're in the same situation as if you got with that other chick."

"Yeah, but maybe she'll tie her tubes—," Danson meandered.

"Wish-ful think-ing!" Richard said, brushing past Danson.

"'Cause you know, chicks these days be all about that pro-choice," insinuated Danson.

Richard threw back, "Maybe you should ask her that, then, Danson. Ask her if she wants to tie her tubes for you so you don't have kids."

"Bet, I'll ask her right now," closed Danson. He started typing up a message to her. "What do I start with?"

"Brah, for real? You're asking me?" Richard said. He chortled, shaking his head in tisk, then took another sip from his beer. He set his drink into the cup holder and played with his shirt again, leaning forward then back into his seat, clapping his hands at the TV, mimicking the crowd's applause. "Here we go! First down, baby! Let's go!"

Danson suggested, "Richard, you know Anna's team made the playoffs?"

"Brah, f$ck Anna's team. I couldn't give one sh$t about her team! Anna is one scrub," said Richard. He kept watching the game and a yellow flag was thrown at the snap. He clapped his hands together once. "Agghhhh, dummy, false start already?" He grabbed his beer, drank it, and waited to see what would happen next.

[sumersprkl]

Now that Unprepared Casters Arc 8 is over, I’m planning on speedrunning the whole arc before Arc 9 starts airing. I just finished Episode 1, and I’ve had spoilers blocked for this entire time, so I’m going in completely blind. Y’all can feel free to point and laugh at my bad theories as long as you don’t put spoilers in the comments or tags on this post.

Here’s my definitive ranking of characters who are, at the end of Episode 1, in the best position for achieving their goals.

1.

Penny Lovejoy.

She could play all of the sides of this whole thing so easily.

She’s got a blank check signed by Sybilla in the form of the Illusory Script contract.

Sir Up Ton seems to like her, and I don’t think she’d be particularly bothered by a murderous despot on the throne so long as he leaves Glaceria alone.

If the guy from Hasmo makes it onto the throne, he’ll give more power to the cities, and thus more power to Glaceria.

If the whole monarchy gets fully overthrown, the people who already have a lot of power and influence in their areas are likely to be able to grab the best scraps of the broken country, so the Lovejoys might come out of a full-on revolution with even more power over Glaceria.

Unless the entire situation changes SIGNIFICANTLY (which it of course will, this is a game), she’s set up perfectly to come out on top.

2.

Sir Up Ton.

Sir Up would have a lot of work to do to come out of this as the king, and there are a LOT of things that could go wrong along the way, BUT. The way I see it, he has a pretty clear path to his goal.

So far the most immediate problem for him is NOT keeping Sybilla from winning the vote, because she will be banking on having Sir Up’s vote, and she would have a lot of work to do to secure at least two out of three of Helga, Penny, and Nephila.

The main obstacle in front of him at this point is the fact that even if she loses the vote, there’s still another popular candidate. If he can take out the Hasmo guy while keeping his image clean, he can present himself as a pretty good option for the throne.

How can he take him out without being implicated? There’s another person on the minor council whose biggest problem is also Hasmo Guy (whose name I can’t look up on the wiki for fear of spoilers). Nephila, who we already know is down for violent revolution, cannot get support for her full-on anti-monarchy position while Hasmo Guy is hanging around convincing everyone that a bunch of violent city-states would be better than either the current system or total anarchy.

If Sir Up can convince Nephila he’s on their side for long enough to conspire with her to off Hasmo Guy (Very possible, he has forty years of practice successfully convincing people he’s on their side), then he can fairly easily frame them for the whole thing. There’s probably a lot of witness accounts out there about Nephila and Laz openly discussing revolution, and Sir Up is EXACTLY the guy who would be expected to root that kind of shit out. He’s the head of the guard and has been for FORTY YEARS, most people would probably just take his word on it even WITHOUT all of the evidence that ACTUALLY EXISTS implicating Nephila. On top of that, Nephila already has a criminal record for shit-stirring. People would take Sir Up’s word over Nephila’s, 100%.

3.

Helga Hatebad.

Helga has, at this moment, no skin in this game. Sure, it would be annoying to her if the Lovejoy family got out of this with significantly more power. But Helga’s life would only be materially changed if the Lovejoy family got full control of Glaceria, which would only happen if Sybilla got on the throne, which I’ve gotta say is not looking super likely. If she doesn’t get involved (which she of course will, because she’s a player character in a game), then she’s got nothing ventured and nothing lost.

4.

Sybilla Eirik.

Sybilla’s position right now is shaky as FUCK and she doesn’t even know how bad it is. Everybody seems pretty fully convinced that Sir Up Ton is on her side, and I don’t think she’s the exception to that rule.

To get on the throne, she’d need two votes out of three of Nephila, Helga, and Penny. She’s already secured Penny’s vote (at great cost), BUT. It would be very hard to sway Nephila away from her anti-monarchy stance, AND it would be very hard to convince Helga Hatebad to vote for the same thing that Penny Lovejoy wants, ESPECIALLY if Helga found out about the secret contract.

Things would be fine for Sybilla if she did somehow manage get the throne, but if she didn’t, she’d lose everything she worked for her whole life. Even worse, if Sir Up got the throne or Nephila’s revolution succeeded, she would be too much of a threat to the new government for them to let her roam free. Nephila, at least, would make her jail cell as comfortable and not-prison-like as possible, but I feel like Sir Up might just have her secretly killed. Her best bet for living through his rule would be to grab her family, flee to Malum, live as a commoner, and hope that the prince she snubbed by marrying a commoner instead of him doesn’t figure out who she is.

5.

Most fucked of all? Nephila Mori.

It’s rough that Nephila, the one person who seems to be doing this out of genuine care for the people, is at the bottom of this list. But I genuinely do not see a way out of this where Nephila gets what they want. And even if she did get it, I haven’t seen much evidence so far of a plan for after the overthrow of the government.

If Sybilla gets the throne, there are only incremental changes for the better, within the constraints of a terrible system of government.

If Hasmo Guy gets the throne, there’s nearly the same amount of chaos as an overthrow of the government, without most of the governing power actually changing hands: all the city barons will continue to be city barons. Nephila can’t fight a revolution against a bunch of little governments, so they would lose their chance to do anything to effect real change.

If Sir Up gets the throne, it’s almost certain that he’d have already stepped all over Nephila to get it, and even if he didn’t, there would be a worse monarch on the throne while she and Laz tried to scrape up a revolution. There’s like a 80% chance that both Nephila and Laz would end up dead, if Nephila wasn’t dead already.

If they succeed and no one gets the throne, it will be a long, bloody path to get there, with pretty significant chances of the whole cycle repeating without any significant changes, because building a government that won’t collapse under the weight of people with too much power is REALLY DIFFICULT. Unlike Sybilla, there is no real chance of winning for Nephila. Regardless of the outcome of this arc, they would have to keep fighting for the rest of their life.

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 19: Change your Heart (originally published on July 19, 2021)

AN: So, trying to reform Kevin. Might be a Herculean task to some, but for me, I think I'll try my best. And given that this is almost directly after last chapter, Steven might find this just as challenging since he would continuously resist the urge to go pink and break Kevin's face. But more to the point, let's get things started.

Synopsis: Kevin comes back wanting to become a genuinely better person, but Steven gets suspicious.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven, Cactus Stevens

Andrew Kishino as Kevin

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Jennifer Paz as Laz

Michelle Maryk as Larimar

Deedee Magno-Hall as Volleyball

Auli'I Cravalho as Orange Spodumene

Michaela Dietz as Crazy Lace Agate

Colton Dunn as Mr. Smiley

--

A few days after Steven's faithful visit to the doctor, he went about today trying to keep a lid on his emotions as much as possible as he strolled through the boardwalk, passing by his Beach City friends and tourists along the way.

"Just gotta find something that always makes me happy to take my mind off all that trauma," Steven muttered to himself. He could go to the Big Donut, but something told him it just wouldn't be the same with Dewey running the counter instead of Lars and Sadie. He could also go to Fish Stew Pizza or the docks, but then he would just be reminded of Sadie Killer and the Suspects breaking up. However, there was still one local hangout associated with a friend that hasn't drifted apart from Steven just yet. "Maybe I could give the arcade a shot."

Walking towards the Funland Arcade, Steven found Mr. Smiley just getting done with carrying some new games into the arcade while a poster advertising those games was hanging outside the building. "Just came in: multiplayer version of beloved video game series Undiscovered." Steven read the poster. "Come one, come all."

"That's not all, the good folks at Sumy also have a ton of other classics downloaded too!" Mr. Smiley said to Steven. "Champion of Conflict, Pressure Scramble, Distorted Plastic, all of them GameStation legends! Come try one of them once in a while."

"Well, maybe Undiscovered could help me blow off some steam after the past two days." Steven realized as he stepped into the arcade to play some Undiscovered and pick the series' rugged, hot-shot leading man William Vespucci to play as. However, what he didn't realize until it was too late was that someone else had picked Vespucci's friendly rival Columbus.

"Well well well, been a long while, hasn't it….uh…." Kevin greeted Steven, only to stop short while trying to remember his young one-sided enemy's name. "Ben, was it? You look like a Ben. Or maybe a Finn."

"Hello, Kevin." Steven greeted the bad boy in a strained voice, resisting the urge to put the controller down and punch him in the face. "What brings you here?"

"Well, word on the street is that you've been teaching Gems that once tried to kill you how to be nice to others." Kevin stated. "And I thought, 'hey, why don't I have a slice of that pie?' So that's why I found you."

"Are you sure this is not another excuse to see Stevonnie again?" Steven asked as the game continued. "Because Connie and I are currently abstaining from-"

"Look kid, you were able to get a bunch of sexy galactic terrorists to stop being terrorists, so why not do the same with me?" Kevin suggested with a smarmy grin. "Well, minus the terrorists part. You still get what I mean, right?"

Steven paused the game and turned to Kevin suspiciously. On one hand, the older boy did seem genuine in his offer, but on the other, it seemed like just another excuse to hit on girls. However, Steven did give the likes of Peridot and the Diamonds a second chance, so as Kevin said, he could probably do the same to him.

"Alright, I'll help you." Steven accepted the offer. "After this round of Undiscovered, I'm gonna take you to Little Homeworld to show you around and teach you some basic kindness. But know this, I'm keeping an eye on you."

"Oh, don't you worry, I'm going to be 100% respectful of others the whole way through." Kevin stated confidently. "Now let's get back to gaming."

The two then returned to playing Undiscovered, and they kept on playing for most of the morning until Steven decided it was time for them to go.

--

"So, this is where the magic happens, eh?" Kevin asked Steven as he was driven out of Beach City and taken to Little Homeworld, where he watched many Gems of all shapes and sizes learn how to fit in on Earth and let go of their oppressive pasts. "Is it true that most of these babes were monsters at some point?"

"Yes, they were monsters." Steven answered. "And please don't call them babes, we discussed this."

"I know, but who's to blame for making them all women?" Kevin tried justifying his earlier comment while they got out of the Dondai.

"You know, I never once asked about where the Gem race came from." Steven came to a realization. "Might have to make a note of that later." As Steven looked around the Gem village to see who he can introduce Kevin to first, he could hear a certain voice crying for revenge.

"LET ME GO YOU TRAITORS!" Emerald shrieked while Demantoid and Pyrope tried to keep her from reaching the Warp Pad at the center of Little Homeworld. "I must find our master, she is the only one that can save me!"

"She's been like this ever since we were unbubbled and enrolled here." Demantoid revealed. "While Pyrope and I have slowly gotten more acclimated to the place, Emerald here hasn't."

"Can't you see this tiny slave driver has brainwashed you all?!" Emerald declared with a finger pointed at Steven. "I will never submit to your concentration camp, never!"

"Yeah, she's going to be one tough nut to crack." Pyrope remarked before she got a look at Kevin. "Oh, and who could this be?"

"Name's Kevin, nice dress." Kevin greeted the Garnet with a kiss of her hand. "And I see your little screaming friend's got one eye. Not gonna discriminate, I like that in a girl."

"Kevin." Steven scolded his rival. "I'm teaching Kevin here how to be nicer to folks and less of a pervert. I think he really wants to change, but I'm still keeping an eye on him."

"But I complimented Pyrope's dress. That's gotta mean something, right?" Kevin asked Steven.

"That's a pretty good start, I'll admit, but you gotta do more than that." Steven advised. "Try striking up a conversation with her."

"Okay, I'll see what I can do." Kevin said before turning back to Pyrope. "So, how did you first get here?"

"Well Kevin, it all began when my partner Demantoid and I attempted an uprising against Era 3 using the Light Prisms we owned." Pyrope began explaining her backstory to the human. "We believed the Gem race would be lost without order and sought to install ourselves as the new rulers in place of the Diamonds. However, that would turn out badly and we were poofed & imprisoned, at least until Black Rutile broke us out of our prison to recruit us into her own uprising. But that turned out badly too and we were poofed in the ensuing battle for Earth. Since then, the only other member of Black Rutile's resistance that remained beside the three of us was a belligerent Lapis Lazuli who decided to come here after a Jasper saved her from shattering."

As Pyrope went on, Kevin, out of boredom, rolled his eyes and began to walk elsewhere while Steven crossly looked at him and Pyrope realized too late that Kevin was gone. "Um, where is he?" she asked.

"I'll find him." Steven groaned exasperatedly and walked off after Kevin.

"Pyrope, while you were talking, Emerald had made her escape." Demantoid stated to Pyrope. "I was able to keep her from using the Warp Pad, but that didn't stop her from hiding."

"Oh dear, how could I be so distracted?!" Pyrope exclaimed and raced off with the other Garnet to find Emerald.

--

"Hey cutie, like your curls." Kevin said while trying to hit on a very confused Laz. "What's your name, Baby Blue?"

"Um, Gems here call me Laz." Laz awkwardly introduced herself. "And you are?"

"You can call me the boy of your dreams!" Kevin declared with a flip of his hair, but his advances would have to wait.

"Kevin!" Steven yelled crossly. "You shouldn't have just walked out on Pyrope like that! And you were making good progress too by asking about her story."

"Hey, sorry, she just went on a bit too long." Kevin stated defensively. "And hey, I'm even making a new friend too."

"I was just minding my own business when he walked up and started smooth-talking me, honest." Laz added.

"Well, how about we use this opportunity to give you another lesson?" Steven suggested. "Say you're crossing the street and a woman is in front of a big puddle. What do you do?"

"Tell her to just walk around it?" Kevin answered, causing Steven to facepalm.

"No, you gotta take off your jacket and drop it over the puddle so she can cross." Steven corrected Kevin. "Like in the super old movies. Laz, could you make a puddle?"

"Okay then." Laz complied and generated a small puddle that looked ready to be stepped in with some water nearby. "Well, what are you waiting for?" she asked Kevin. "Just toss the jacket!"

"Seriously?! This is expensive, ya know!" Kevin grumbled while taking off his jacket to spread out on the puddle. "I didn't sign up for this." Once Kevin shed his jacket, he dropped it on the puddle and allowed Laz to cross.

"Thanks, I guess." Laz thanked the human awkwardly before turning to Steven. "See you around Steven."

"You're welcome." Kevin replied with a bow while Steven picked up the jacket. "There, I learned basic politeness. How about that?"

"Yeah, that's a good start." Steven complimented. "Good job Kev."

"Yes!" Kevin cheered. "Wait, did you just call me Kev?"

"Yeah, I didn't know what just happened either." Steven admitted. "Let's go for one more trial for today."

--

At the greenhouse where Peridot usually had her classes, the Cactus Stevens, now freed from Black Rutile's control, were helping Volleyball, Little Larimar, Orange Spodumene, and Crazy Lace Agate with some gardening when Steven & Kevin walked in.

"Oh, hello Steven." Volleyball greeted Steven. "Haven't seen you in a while, how are things?"

"Doing fine, just had a little meltdown a few days ago, but I'm recovering." Steven replied. "And by the way, I heard what happened at that trial on Homeworld. How long were you spying on us for Black Rutile?"

"Since not too long after you faced White Diamond." Volleyball revealed shyly while tears began to leak. "I was only forced to do it by Black Rutile and Holly Blue, though. But can you still forgive me?"

Before Steven could answer, Kevin pretended to loudly clear his throat to get everyone's attention. "It's cute that Cyclops here wants to apologize for whatever, but remember me?!"

"Sorry, Kevin." Steven apologized before introducing him to the Pearl. "I'd like you to meet Volleyball. She was Pink Diamond's former Pearl before getting her eye cracked and later brainwashed by White Diamond. Volleyball, meet Kevin. I hate his guts, but he wants to become a better person so I'm giving him a chance."

"So, your eye is cracked." Kevin gestured to Volleyball's damaged eye. "What's it like seeing with one eye? Does it, like, affect your sense of direction or whatever?"

"Oh no, I get around pretty fine, especially after fusing with Pearl." Volleyball answered brightly. "Ever since then, the crack still's there but you can barely see a pupil now too."

"Cool, cool." Kevin responded, trying to sound interested before he started looking around the greenhouse. "So let me guess, you grow plants here?"

"Exactly Kevin," Larimar said while holding a potted plant in her hands. "Look at the hydrangeas I'm growing!"

"And my daffodils." Orange Spodumene added as she showed off her flower.

"Watching them all grow is the best part!" Crazy Lace Agate cooed while intensely watching the hyacinths growing in her pot.

"Wow, you are all really into flowers, huh?" Kevin wondered while looking over Crazy Lace's shoulder. "I mean, Steven's teaching you all how to be crazy for Earth, so I won't judge."

"See, you're getting interested in what they're doing, and no sign of hitting on them." Steven declared. "Good job Kevin."

"I mean, after you yelled at me for getting bored during Pyrope's story, I just thought I should wise up a little bit." Kevin stated. "Isn't that what humans do or something, learn from mistakes and grow from them?"

"Yeah, that's pretty profound." Steven answered. "Especially coming from someone like you."

"You're right." Kevin realized. "Did I really just change that fast? I mean, I heard you were able to get those Diamonds to play nice with a silly one-liner and they changed just as quickly!"

"Well, not quite." Steven said. "They still got a lot to work out. Everybody does, even you. And me."

"Uh, what do you mean by that, and why do I have a feeling I'm not going to get a good answer?" Kevin asked nervously. Steven sheepishly looked around at the Gems in the greenhouse before taking Kevin away.

"Let's take this outside." Steven declared.

--

Steven took Kevin back to his car and the two drove away from Little Homeworld all the way back to Beach City in complete silence. A silence that Kevin found a bit concerning before the two returned to town before he finally spoke up. "Uh, anything the matter?" he asked. "You've been quiet since we left the greenhouse."

"It's just about what I've been through lately." Steven finally spoke up while stopping the car. "Ever since we last saw each other at that party, I've learned that my mom Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond, went to Homeworld where I saw the Crystal Gems get turned into extensions of White Diamond, nearly got killed by Spinel while all organic life was at risk of being killed by her injector, learned that a sociopathic revolutionary wants to kill me & conquer the galaxy and nearly got thrown off a cliff to my death. And that's only a few notable incidents."

"Wait, thrown off a cliff?!" Kevin exclaimed while the two boys emerged from the Dondai Supremo. "Sociopathic revolutionary? Dang, you been through a lot."

"Yep, and after all that, I learned that I basically have PTSD and my body has been acting really weird lately." Steven continued. "I sometimes turn pink when I get real angry, and more recently my body started inflating out of control a few days ago."

"Yeesh, am I lucky to not have a mom who's a Gem, no offense." Kevin sardonically sympathized. "My parents are usually off doing business or going to fancy parties."

"You know, that reminds me." Steven said as he sat down on the front of the Supremo. "What was your life like? I don't think I ever bothered to ask. Or maybe I hated you too much back then to even think of asking."

"You want my backstory? Well, here goes." Kevin answered and sat down next to Steven. "Just like me, my old man Winston was a real player and a pretty well-off guy. His philosophy of using the right words and moves to win hearts was what won him a wife, my mom Venus, and then came yours truly." He explained. "I was kind of a bit like you as a kid, really sensitive and sweet. But when my girlfriend Sabina ditched me, that was when my dad decided to teach me how to be a charmer. But unfortunately, that didn't win me many friends, especially you. But after spending time with you and helping you get back together with Connie, I just thought it would be time to make a change, but you were too busy to hear me out."

"So, you been wanting this ever since that night?" Steven gasped in realization.

"Yeah, right." Kevin replied. "Then again, like you said, I still got a lot to work out. Which reminds me, what's the status on you and Connie?"

"That's the thing, Kevin." Steven blushed while curling up into a ball. "I tried proposing to Connie so that I'd know what my future would hold, but she said no, and I let it bottle up until the next day at the doctor."

"Wait, you proposed to Connie?!" Kevin exclaimed in shock. "I mean, like, marriage proposal?! Aren't you a little young to get married?"

"Yes, yes I am." Steven replied solemnly. "But still, it was nice getting to talk about it with someone, even if it was with someone I hated in the past."

"You got that right." Kevin declared. "We sure got off on the wrong foot, but even I know you've been through a lot."

"And I know you can be different from your dad," Steven responded. "like how I want to be different from my mom."

"Yeah." Kevin stated before looking at his watch. "Whoo, look at the time!" he realized before hopping off the Dondai's hood. "Got places to be, but maybe we can do this again sometime!"

"If you ever want more niceness tips, you know who to call." Steven said goodbye to Kevin.

"Likewise." Kevin grinned as he walked away. "Catch you later!"

After the two boys waved each other goodbye, Steven got off the hood of his car and began driving it back to the beach house while monologuing to himself. "If I can change Kevin, maybe I could change Black Rutile too." He muttered, but the mere thought of Black Rutile turned Steven's optimistic grin into a tense frown. "Maybe."

--

Well, this has been a more low-key chapter compared to the two chapters before it. But next time, we kick things up again as we move onto Gems' Night Out, which I am so excited to write! We got Amethyst & Lapis as Bond girls, Garnet & Bismuth solving mysteries together, Steven being gaslit by Black Rutile into believing no one ever cared for him & that he must fight back against his loved ones, and Pearl & Peridot mingling with some of the most unique kinds of human known to man: nerds. Like I said, I'm real excited for this.