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#Legit trying to get better about posting I swear.
When We Are Together - Matty Healy
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Summary: In which Matty falls in love with you in stages his entire life. He knows everything is better when you're together but the two of you are oblivious to the fact you're in love with each other.
Warnings: Swearing. A small section of smut in flashback 2. Unfortunately it's not with Matty. It's with George because I am a whore. Mentions of The S*n. Mentions of Matty going to rehab, obviously we don't know all the personal details apart from the fact there was an intervention after the ilwys era ended and he went and now he's in recovery.  
Author's Note: Self proclaimed 'Not a Matty girl' just wrote 12K lol this has legit taken so long cause I procrastinate but hope you like it!  Really fucking long because I tend to let my mind wonder, I don't even know if this is any good but I'm trying to get better. I thought the concept was cute anyway. So enjoy! Let me know what you guys think and if you liked it x
Word Count: 12K
Your life had always been surrounded by the boys. So many moments in your life that their fans could only ever dream of knowing about or being involved in but you didn’t know any different, it was just your life. You had no choice in the matter when your brother and best friend in the entire world was the bassist in the band. That’s right; Ross MacDonald was your big brother and you seemed to be somewhat of a legend amongst their hardcore fanbase yourself for putting up with their antics for as long as you had! Not that you really had a choice when you were tied to them via blood but they had also hired you as their personal assistant so you could follow them around the world and so none of them had to part from you for too long.
You had personal relationships with all of the band, not just your brother who genuinely was the best big brother you could have ever asked for. He was your best friend and had been since the moment you were born. Sometimes it irritated the others how annoying the two of you were when you both got into silly moods, with all your inside jokes and side looks that nobody else understood. Especially Matty who always wanted in on the joke. But Ross was a ride or die kind of guy and you were the same. If it came down to it you would fight over who took the first bullet.
Adam Hann. Adam truly was an angel of man sent to earth to be your bestie and you don’t think you could love him anymore if you could. Someone you could geek out about The Office with on the tour bus and who brought you coffee when he could see you needed a pick me up. The most level headed of the boys, you know he’ll always be on your side. Someone who’s come to your rescue during many nights out both pre and post fame and took your hand, pretended to be your boyfriend with no questions asked and got you away from creeps more times than you would have liked. You couldn’t be more grateful for a selfless friend like Adam Hann.
George Daniel. Your ‘little’ Georgie had been in your form at school, so apart from your brother until you were much older and started hanging out with them more, you had spent the most time with him. So it’s fair to say that the pair of you were close. So close that you lived with him and Matty in your early twenties. Even a small indiscretion on his 23rd birthday much to your brother’s dismay didn’t change the course of your relationship. Now that you were both thirty two and you were still working for him, clearly the two of you didn’t care that you had seen each other naked. If anything your night together all those many moons ago had brought you closer together. You would trust him with your life.
Then there was Matty. Matty was something else. If you asked his fans, depending on if you were asking old or new fans. He was something else in two senses of the word. To you he was just Matthew. Your big brother’s best friend who was a bit of a weird kid, transitioned into a somewhat cool teenager who you had a bit of a crush on when you were seventeen, to the most annoying person you’ve ever laid eyes on. But also he was your best friend. An old married couple is what George labeled you both and he wasn’t wrong, the pair of you did have a bit of a domestic life together when he wasn’t busy being a rockstar. 
I think the fans would be shocked to find out he likes doing the mundane things in life like doing the food shop with you and fighting at the tills that it was his turn to scan his club card. Or walking the dog, drinking a good cup of tea at his Mam’s house or cooking with you over a glass of wine with Donny Hathaway playing in the background on the record player.
He had done so much for you over the years and you always thought it was just Matty being Matty and looking out for you. Hiring you as the band’s assistant, so you could see the world with them so you weren’t stuck in a stuffy office job in England. Even though you had graduated from uni with a first class degree in photography. Moving you into his home when you broke up with your long term boyfriend in 2020 so you weren’t wallowing in self pity. It was probably then, that George cemented your “marriage status” because you did do everything together and apparently you had been oblivious your entire friendship until now.
It was in this moment in Belfast on the last night of the UK tour that your head swimming with all of the moments in your life that led you to here with Matty, tears brimmed with tears. That you realised that it was him the entire time.
April 2007
You pulled the front of the white tank top you were wearing down, allowing the frilly cups of your red bra to peek out the top. Your top tucked into a short black mini skirt, paired with a big chunky belt and hoop earrings and some wedged sandals on your feet. You actually felt good about yourself for once! You, Sarah and Rebecca ready to get drunk and dance your asses off with all of your friends as you celebrated Matty’s birthday.
Matty’s 18th birthday party was being held at his house. A classic Healy house party yet you still wondered how Denise and Tim were somehow trusting him enough for the night to not burn the house down so he could celebrate his birthday with his friends without parental supervision.
You of course had yet to turn eighteen, as had your brother who was only eleven months older than you. So you turned to your lord and saviour Adam Hann who went to the local off license and bought you a pack of Bacardi Breezers for the party.
When the three of you arrived; you immediately got swept away by your other school friends, giggling at the thought of getting drunk with all your friends and making out with boys your brother would definitely disapprove of was the motivation you needed to open your first drink of the evening.
It was after a few drinks, definitely too many shots of whatever George had proclaimed Matty’s Dad’s had left for the birthday boy. You were starting to feel the effects of the alcohol you had drunk that evening when you spotted Max. Tall, brunette, curly hair and a killer watt smile that made you weak at the knees, talking to George.
Silent motivation from Phoebe as she ruffled her hands through your hair and pushing your tits into a good position as Sarah dabbed on some more lip gloss before pushing you in the direction of the boys, slapping your ass with a quick “Go get him tiger!”
Shooting her a grin over your shoulder, you strutted on over to where George and Max stood clutching their beer bottles as they conversed about god knows what. Hoping to catch his attention, you threw on your best smile as you stopped in front of the two of them. 
“Hello boys!” You beamed a the two of them, eyes lingering on Max a little longer. “Having a good night?”  You asked, twiddling the straw around your drink as you waited for their answer.
“Even better now you’re here gorgeous!” 
Your heart fluttered for a moment. Max was flirting back.
“Your tits are looking mega tonight babe!” 
George broke your eye contact with the tall brunette as your eyes flitted towards him. The blush flushing across your cheeks at George’s compliment, “Ohhh thanks G!”  You laughed awkwardly, catching his eyes fall to your tits once more just as Ross walked past the three of you.
“Dude! That’s my sister!” He punched him in the arm; a scowl on his face and immediately pulling you away with him and far away from the boys and into the crowd of people dancing in Denise and Tim’s living room.
“You’re no fun!”  You huffed.
“You can do a lot better than Max sis. Believe me! I’m just looking out for you.” 
He smiled softly at you and you sighed, knowing you couldn’t ever stay mad at him. He knew you better than anyone else and always looked out for you no matter what. “Thanks bro.  I know. I’m just going to get some fresh air, it’s a bit stuffy in here.” 
You sent him a smile, squeezing past him and all the other sweaty bodies to head out the sliding doors at the back of Matty’s kitchen. Letting out the breath you hadn’t realised you had been holding as the cool spring air brushed over your skin. Taking in the serenity of the night air, you didn’t realise anyone else was out there until you heard a cough causing you to snap your head towards the noise.
Matty was leaning up against the back wall, cigarette hanging from his lips.
“Alright birthday boy! What you doing out here by yourself?” You laughed lightly as you approached; leaning next to him as you took in the slightly solemn look on his face.
“Bit overwhelming in there. Thought I’d like the attention but there’s too many people. Half of them are just here to get drunk, they don’t care about me.” He laughed bitterly; blowing smoke into the air. “Anyway. What are you doing out here?”
“Just needed some air. It was a bit stuffy in there. Too many people.”
“Ahhh so we’re alike in our thinking.” Matty laughed. “Wish it was just you and the boys to be honest.” He mumbled, shuffling his feet.
“Hey. You know if you want we can have a do over. Come over to mine and Ross’ tomorrow. We’ll order pizza and watch True Romance. I’d hate for you to not look back fondly at your 18th.”  You smiled softly as you spoke.
“You’re brilliant.” Matty’s eyes bright as he looked at you. “I’d really like that. Thanks sweetheart.”  Matty shot you a genuine smile for the first time since you stepped outside.
A brief moment of silence settled across the two of you before Matty spoke again.
“You look incredible tonight.”
“Ohhh.” You looked down at your feet, unsure of how to take the compliment.
“Hey.” Matty lifted your chin up. “What’s all that about? You’re the most beautiful girl in the room.” He said earnestly; swiping at the apples of your cheeks and holding your jaw in his hands.
“Just didn’t think anyone could look past the fact I’m Ross’ sister. Nobody ever calls me beautiful.”
“Not even Josh? Didn’t you date him for nearly a year?”  Matty asked as you shook your head.
“Then he’s an idiot. You’re always the most beautiful girl in the room darling.”
“Matty.” 
It came out a whisper as you both stared into each other’s brown eyes. Matty’s eyes dancing across your features, settling on your lips before looking back up and catching your gaze already on him. Matty leaned in, his face getting closer to your own as your mind started racing. 
Did you want to kiss Matty? Kinda, yeah! 
Should you kiss Matty? No, definitely not. Ross would kill the both of you. 
Did you kiss Matty? Yes.
“We shouldn’t.”  You whispered, lips mere inches away from his own.
“But a birthday kiss is all I want this year.” 
His words came out of a whisper, you didn’t say anything else just pushed your lips against his and allowed him to pull you closer as his mouth moved against the softness of your glossed lips. His hands moving from your face, dancing down the sides of your body and landing on your waist before he reluctantly pulled away, forehead resting against your own.
“You’re good at that.” He pecked your lips once more.
“Mmmm.”  You hummed; opening your eyes as Matty held you close. You quickly opened your mouth to say something and promptly shut it again when you caught the way Matty looked at you. “Fuck it!” You mumbled and slammed your lips back against his own.
The birthday boy now pushing you up against the wall, hands impossibly tight on your waist as he pulled you as physically close as possible. Your hands uprooting themselves in the hair at the back of his neck and tugging as you snogged him like your life depended on it. Like you weren’t pushed against the back of his kitchen wall in his garden, where any of your school friends could come out and catch you. Or worse; your brother but you didn’t care because the way Matty was kissing you made your whole body tingle.
Tugging his hair again as his tongue moved against your own. Matty groaned loudly; finally pulling away. “Fuck settle down! You know I can’t be found with you and if you keep doing that, someone is going hear us.” He groaned as he continued to pepper kisses up the side of your jaw.
“Hmmm, don’t feel like being murdered by my brother right now.”  You sighed; leaning back against the wall to take him in. Lips swollen and eyes bright as he watched you.
“I don’t want to be murdered by your brother either. Worst birthday ever!” He chuckled; hands dancing across your waist. “But that was my favourite birthday gift! Thanks sweetheart!” Matty grinned; watching you push yourself off the wall and smooth yourself down before heading back towards the house.
You paused for a moment; your foot on the last step, your hand lingering on the handle to the back door for a millisecond as you looked over your shoulder one last time at Matty who was just watching you. You sent him a soft smile, your hair falling in front of your face as you laughed before leaving him the dark as you rejoined the party.
A kiss with Matty who was your big brother’s (and your) annoying friend, someone you had an innocent schoolgirl crush on once he started becoming a tiny bit cool as the lead singer in their band. Something you didn’t think was an overly big deal, after all people kiss people they shouldn’t when they’re drunk all the time. Turns out it was the starting point of the trajectory of how your’s and Matty’s story begun.
March 2013
In the midst of releasing a series of EPs and gigging around the country and building up their hardcore fanbase. You had managed to get the boys all to just relax for a moment and celebrate the release of their Music for Cars EP and the fact that it was George’s 23rd birthday this weekend. And how did you celebrate? The only way you lot knew how, a dirty ole’ house party just like the good old days.
You had managed to squeeze God knows how many people in little flat you shared with George and Matty. As far as flatmate’s go, they weren’t all that bad. You had moved in with them straight after university so you had definitely had worse.
You had just downed what you believe was your fifth vodka shot of the evening and decided you needed to pace yourself a bit more if you weren’t going to stumble into your room and pass out any time soon. So upon spotting Ross, you wondered over to your brother who was sat talking to Hann; wiggling your way in between the two of them with a giggle. Ross automatically lifting his arm for you to slip under as you nursed the rest of your wine at a slower pace until your glass was empty.
After your head stopped spinning a sufficient amount, you found yourself milling about the flat and smuggling yourself into Matty’s embrace as he poured you another glass.
“Enjoying yourself sweetheart?” 
“Mmm. Have you see the birthday boy?” You felt Matty’s lips pressed to the top of your head as you asked.
“You leaving me already?”  He chuckled. “Think he popped out the back for a cig.” 
He motioned towards the back door. You immediately unravelled yourself from him, a kiss smacked against his cheek, catching the corner of his mouth. Not that you noticed in your flurry but Matty did. The longing for the feeling of the two of you had shared in his back garden prickling at his chest as his eyes locked onto your retreating figure as you rushed through the throng of remaining people in the kitchen and exiting the flat.
Matty was right. You found George smoking out the back in your little tiny back garden under the dying glimmer of your shit security light that was attached to your back wall. Turning in your direction at the sound of the back door shutting, George automatically opened his arms for you to slot into his side, arm hung loosely over your shoulder as he let out the smoke he had just inhaled. Wordlessly placing the cig in your mouth to let you take a drag yourself, you passed it back and forth between the two of you in silence.
Stubbing the end into the brick, George dropped it into the bucket of dirty filters before breaking the silence. “God what time is it?”  He asked as you watched him push the balls of his hand into his eyes.
“Nearly 2am! Why you need to go to bed Grandad?!”
“Fucking maybe?! How many people are left?” The now blonde motioned towards the house.
“Only a few. Heard Sally talk about some of them heading into town on the way out and Luke and Helen have to be up early so they left nearly a hour ago. Just the band and about three other now. You ready to head in birthday boy?” You asked; holding out your hand for him to take with a smirk.
With a silent nod George didn’t hesitate to grab onto your hand as you tried not to trip over the many plant pots that were littered across your garden path. “You given me my birthday present yet? I can’t remember?” You turned to look at the drummer. An amused look on your face because he had given you the brightest smile when he had opened the personalised drumsticks you had gotten him earlier. “Or are you my present? Wait is this an ambush?” George gasped. “Please be an ambush!” He grinned at you.
“You should be so lucky!”  You scoffed; before shooting him a smirk as you opened the the kitchen door.
“Your tits look mega in that dress by the way!” His tone smug as he closed the kitchen door behind him. Your only response being the cackle that left your mouth as you left George to watch you walk away as you joined the rest of the band in the living room.
Lucky indeed because once the remaining guests left about twenty minutes later. You had snuck into George’s room to say good night and wish him a happy birthday and it’s how you found yourself currently with aching arms. As they were locked either side of George’s knees, his hands tight on your waist as you bounced on his cock.
You weren’t sure how long you had been in this position. You do know he had already made you cum twice though. Once on his tongue and once with his fingers but my God were you spiralling towards your third. The thick drag of his cock between your legs as he stretched you out was delicious but you needed to cum quick because you weren’t sure how long you could stay in this position for.
“Jesus Christ! So fucking good George!” You wailed; as George’s thumb swiped through the slick between your legs and rubbing at your clit.
“Feel good baby?”
“Yes. Shit! So good!” You panted. “Arms hurt though, fuck.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” He said; pulling you forward.
You fell forward at full speed; having to catch yourself on either side of his face to stop yourself from head butting him as his large hands moved from your hips to grab on to the globes of your ass before plowing up into your cunt so fast you saw stars dance under your eyelids. All you could do was shake and babble out a string of, “So good. So good. So good.” As George made you cum again.
Pulling out quickly. You had no time to recover as George flipped you over; face already in his pillows as he pushed back into you as he chased his own orgasm. The drag of his cock made you feel delirious at the speed in which he was fucking you back into the mattress.
“Fucking hell. You’re so good G! Yes! Yes! Yes!”  You screamed into the mattress, really not caring that your mutual best friend was on the other side of the wall.
His name fell from your lips like a chant. You hadn’t been fucked this good in forever, if at all and the fact it was your Georgie made your head spin.
“Come on baby. One more and I’ll give it to you.” He whispered in your ear, kissing the back of your shoulder before pulling you back on to his cock at rapid speed and sending you hurtling towards your fourth orgasm of the night (well morning) and George to fill you up with a satisfied groan.
Pulling out; your gentle giant rolled over, the pair of you catching your breath after fucking for a good hour. Rolling your head to the side to take him in, you pressed a kiss to the top of his shoulder with a chuckle. “Happy Birthday G!” 
The now blonde let out a loud laugh as the pair of you snuggled into each other’s arms, like you would normally do under any other circumstances as George pressed a kiss to the side of your face. The temporary bliss shielding you both from the circumstances you’d have to face in the morning.
When you did manage to wake up the next morning, George was still fast asleep but his alarm clock read 10:12 and you knew you’d have to get up to tidy the flat because Matty certainly wouldn’t. As you looked around George’s room, you scrambled to find anything to hide your dignity as you moved around to clean up. As you pulled the shirt George was wearing the night before over your bare body, you didn’t have chance to register the other voices on the other side of the bedroom door.
“Where is she? She’s not answering her phone? She’s not in her room either.”
Matty didn’t answer Ross’s question, just grumbled into his arms before flinging himself down onto the dining room table dramatically.
“What’s the matter with you? You look like shit Healy!” Hann shoved his shoulder with a laugh as he threw himself on the sofa.
“Well you’d look like shit if you didn’t get any sleep cause you could hear George fucking at all hours of the night too.” Matty snapped at the two of them.
“Who was he shagging? I thought he wasn’t seeing that blonde anymore?”
Unfortunately for you, this was when you decided to make your grand appearance. Walking out of George’s room in nothing but his shirt and your knickers from the night before. The three of them silent as they took in your appearance.
Adam’s jaw slack as he looked on in shock as everything clicked into place before his very eyes.
Matty looked pained as he ran a hand through his curls before pushing himself up off the dining room table and shuffling into the kitchen, silently flicking the kettle on.
Ross looked angry. You could see it simmering in his eyes. The vein on his neck pulsing as he starred you down.
“I’ve been trying to ring you. Why were you in George’s room? ”
“I’ve been asleep. I’m here now aren’t I? Everything alright?” You brushed past him, trying to avoid talking about the inevitable. You hated when Ross was angry.
“Why do you have George’s shirt on?”
The two of you competed in a stare off. The both of you silent. Neither of you making the next move. If there was one thing you MacDonald siblings were, it was stubborn. Adam was watching on in anticipation. The only noise to be heard was Matty shuffling around the kitchen in the background. Your brother asked you again. Why was he asking you questions he didn’t want to know the answers to.
“Don’t make me say it bro.”  You sighed; annoyance flashing across his features.
“You slept with my best friend?”  Ross immediately started raising his voice. He already knew the answer, he didn’t need your confirmation. Not that he waited for it because he was already storming towards George’s room and right on queue, the door swung open to George just in his boxers.
“Ross. Stop!”  Your voice loud and going ignored.
“YOU SLEPT WITH MY SISTER?!”  
Ross was seething. Hann was immediately by your side ready to intervene. Matty still off and away from the drama (which was very unlike him) that was about to unfold. He was unlawfully quiet but you couldn’t think about that when Ross was squaring off with George in the doorway to your rooms. The shouting sounded like you were under water as you zoned it out. This was a disaster. It was only when Hann touching your arm, whispering if they should intervene or not that brought you back to reality and had you storming right in between the two giants.
Pushing your way in between them. You stood with your back against George’s chest, a hand on your brothers and looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Ross. Please. Fighting George isn’t going to solve anything.”
“You slept. With my sister. What about fucking bro code?! Not cool dude!”
“It was me.” You shouted over the top of his booming voice, all four of them turning to look at you as you very rarely raised your voice. “It was me. I initiated it. So if you’re going to be mad at someone, shout at me because it’s my fault.”
“Babe you don’t have to defend me.” George touched your shoulder gently. “I know, we shouldn’t have done it.”
“Don’t touch her!” Ross zoned in on George’s hands upon your shoulders. He quickly lifted them up in surrender.
“George, we’re both consenting adults.” You addressed him before turning back to your brother. “I’m sorry but if you’re going to sulk about it, blame me because I started it. Ross you know I love you more than anything in this world but you can’t hate everyone that goes near me.”  You reached for his hand to give it a squeeze. “It was literally a one night stand. Promise it won’t happen again.”
Ross tried to pull his hand out of yours at your words, the vein in his neck twitching at the fucked up thought of his little sister casually sleeping around. “I’m not fucking happy about it. Fucking bro code dude.” He threw his hands up dramatically before turning towards the door. “I’m going for some fresh air.” 
Ross quickly yanked open the front door, Hann hot on his tail, muttering something about checking on him which left you with Matty and George. The three of you standing in silence for a moment before George popped a kiss on top of your head and mumbling about a cig and heading out the back.
Matty disappeared again into the kitchen as you plonked yourself down at the dining room table with a groan. The ticking of the clock the only thing to be heard as the two of you were now the only ones left in your tiny flat. Sitting down next to you, Matty didn’t say anything. Just pushed a mug of coffee towards you and sipping his own.
“You don’t hate me do you? You haven’t said anything all morning.”
Matty took a sip of his coffee, a look of contemplation on his face as his eyes flitted towards you. The silence deafening and the thought of him being upset with you made your heart ache.
“You never offered me that on my birthday.”
You blinked rapidly as you stared at him. That was it. That’s what he chose to say.
Matty tried to say it with a joking lilt to his words. A smirk hiding behind his mug of coffee as you took in his words. But he knew deep down that there was a seriousness to it. It was true, you’ve never done anything with him other than when you kissed at his 18th, on his birthday or otherwise. Apart from one drunken weekend about two weeks later. He wasn’t sure why the thought made his heart pang. But it did. You opened your mouth to respond, quickly shutting it again as a flush rushed to your cheeks as you remembered the night in his garden five birthdays ago.
You let out a shaky laugh, not knowing what to say, shoving his shoulder playfully as you settled back into your chair, steaming coffee ready to be drunk.
“I don’t, you know.” 
You turned you head to curly haired man beside you confused at what he was saying. 
“I could never hate you.”
2014
You weren’t exactly sure where you were. What state you were in. What time it was or how much you and the band had to drink or what drugs Matty had taken tonight but you were fucking exhausted. You had been following your brother and your best friends around the world for the best part of just over a year, ‘acting’ like their personal assistant. 
You were essentially a glorified baby sitter for these four man children. You wouldn’t change it for the world though, you got to travel the world with your best friends and take cool photography in the cool cities you visited but it was all catching up to you. All whilst they were busy being rockstars, some more than others but that was a different story.
You wanted nothing more than to be in the dingy little flat you shared with Matty and George in Manchester, catching up on washing, going down to your local Sainsbury’s and doing the weekly shop. Anything that didn’t require going to bed post 3am.
But you were currently in a club in Atlanta or was it Nashville? You didn’t know but what you did know was that you were bloody tired and the thought of travelling on the tour bus to the next state with a hangover was genuinely about to send you into a downward spiral if you didn’t get yourself back to the hotel asap.
Tucked neatly underneath Hann’s arm, his arm loosely hanging over your shoulder as you rested your head upon his shoulder, you prayed for your brother to round up the other two quicker than he was because you were actually asleep standing up at this point. You didn’t think it was possible to be asleep with your eyes open but you were positive at this precise moment in time it was currently happening.
Ross finally reappeared with George in tow but there was no Matty trailing behind the two of them. You groaned loudly as you clapped eyes on the two of them. Ross looked defeated, tiredness set his eyes too. George smirked when he heard your groans.
“Not the usual type of groans you make when you see me baby.”
“I’ll punch you so hard before Ross even gets the chance to if you don’t shut the fuck up Daniel's. Where’s Healy?”  You huffed, scowling at the boy in front of you.
“Mumbled something incoherent before refusing to leave.” Your brother grumbled.
“Give me two minutes.” You sent Hann a soft smile, before removing yourself from the bubble the two of you’d created at the end of the bar before pushing your way through all the sweaty bodies until you found him trying to chat up some blonde model type near the DJ booth.
Gently placing your hand around his bicep to get his attention, his curls whipped in your direction to see who was touching him. The first thing you noticed apart from the bright grin he was now sporting were his dilated pupils. So he had taken coke again, brilliant. 
The sigh that left you so deeply rooted, you’re surprised he didn’t pick up on it. You hated the way it made him feel after the high was over.
“Hi darling! Hasn’t tonight been amazing? Wait where are the others? Can you believe your brother tried to make me to go back to the hotel? How sick was the gig tonight? Do you want to dance? Hey let me introduce you to…” He spoke at a hundred miles a hour as he spewed out utter nonsense, turning to realise the blonde he was chatting up was long gone.
You watched Matty’s shoulders sag, sad eyes now back on your own. “You fancy coming back with me? I’m dead on my feet and don’t really fancy nursing this inevitable hangover whilst being stuck on the tour bus for over six hours with you lot without at least four hours of decent sleep.”
“But I don’t want to go home yet.” He pouted.
“You come with me now, I’ll let you stay in my bunk tomorrow and I won’t complain about how clingy you are. Promise!”
“Like a sleepover?!”  Matty’s face lit up again.
“If you like, yeah!” You laughed at his childlike enthusiasm.
“Come on then, let’s go right now!” He started to drag you through the crowds. “I’m sharing with Ross tonight. I think he’d rather kill himself than watch you throw yourself at me!” 
“I don’t throw myself at you.” You laughed at the frown he was pulling at you.
“It’s been known to happen Healy! I don’t mind though. My bunk tomorrow. Pinky promise.”
“Tomorrow.”  Matty sent you a soft smile; his pinky looping around your own before you started to tug him back towards the boys. “I just want to clarify, I don’t throw myself at you I just like lying on your tits is all!” He said, pulling a laugh out of you as you approached the rest of the band. Your brother already leading the troops out the club as he saw your approach, eager to get out of there and into bed.
You had currently been on the road from Atlanta to Raleigh, North Carolina for the past two hours and the hangover was showing no signs of disappearing. You had already watched half a season of The Office with Hann and had taken a half arsed nap with Ross but it was hard trying to sleep in the lounge, when your head was knocking off his shoulder every time the bus hit a pot hole.
Not to mention; if Matty made one more fucking sound, you were absolutely positive one of you was going to throw him out the window. It was a toss up between you and Hann, whoever got to him first I suppose. But he was getting on your last nerve. He was annoying at the best of times but there was something about his come down today that was irritating you to no fucking end. He so much as breathed too loudly and it was sending you spiralling into deep pit of annoyance.
You and the band were up back in the lounge area, some Adam Sandler movie playing quietly in the back ground that you were pretty sure none of them were even paying attention to. When Matty threw his phone across the bus, swearing something incoherent under his breath and it was the last straw.
Standing up abruptly, you managed to startle both Ross and Hann at the speed in which you moved. Pulling down George’s hoodie that you had stolen, so it covered more of your ass over the pair of gym shorts you had on. You turned back towards your brother and Adam, irritation etched across your features, scowling at Matty as you eyed him out of your peripheral, as he moped about next to George. 
Just the image of him, made you want to roll your eyes.
“I’m going to my bunk before I fucking throttle him!”  
You sent them both a sarcastic smile before storming off to your bunk. You can’t have been there ten minutes before your peace was interrupted by Matty who was peering around the curtain and asking if he can join you. You let out a big sigh before silently nodding your head as he lumbered on into the small space.
Immediately wrapping his arms around your waist; his head found home upon your chest just like it always did when he wanted a cuddle. Your hand that was wrapped around him made its way up to his head, where it settled in his curls, finger tips running across his scalp. The sound of his soft sighs automatically calming down the irritation that had been bubbling inside you since he had awoken this morning.
You weren’t entirely sure how long you had been lying there in silence. You only broke the silence when the coldness of Matty’s fingertips slipped underneath your hoodie to touch the warmth of your skin. His thumb rubbing circles across the softness of your hips as he snuggled further into your tits as one of his legs started pushing its way in between your own as he got comfy.
“Matty?” Your voice gentle as you tried to get his attention.
“You said you wouldn’t complain.” His voice muffled as he spoke into your covered breasts.
“Your fingers are fucking freezing that’s all.” Your chest vibrated with laughter.
“Sorry sweetheart” Matty moved the slightest bit, to kiss the underside of your chin before snuggling back into the warmth of your hoodie.
“I don’t mean to, you know?”  He whispered softly.
“What are you talking about?”
“I don’t mean to make you angry.” 
His voice was barely above a whisper, that you nearly missed it.
“I’m not angry. Why would you think I’m angry at you?”
“You looked like you’d rather die than be anywhere near me before.” The hand that was weaving through his curls stopped. “I hated it. Hated that you looked at me like that. Made me feel even more shit than I already do.”
“Healy look at me.” Matty didn’t move a muscle, head still tucked underneath your chin, no effort in moving at all at your words.
“Babe. Look at me.” Your voice more stern, wiggling away from his grip so you could look down at him properly. “I could never hate you. Ever.” Your eyes flitted across his features, hardened by the late nights on tour and the hardcore partying. “I hate what that stuff does to you. I would never stop you from having fun but when you do that stuff, I hate how it makes you hate yourself the next day. I don’t want you doing something you’re going to regret because believe it or not Healy. I’m quite fond of you and I don’t think my heart could take it if something happened to you. Neither would my brother’s or Hann’s or George’s. We love you a stupid amount you know.”
Matty blinked at you as he took in your words, his brown eyes glossing over before shoving his face into you neck, the grip around your waist becoming impossibly tighter. Your body shaking as his vibrated against yours, soft sobs leaving him as he chanted; “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Over and over again.
All you could do was hold him closer and reassure him, that he had nothing to be sorry for and you were just looking out for him because anything else, you were afraid it might break you and you’d cry too. As your best friend was breaking his heart and wetting the hoodie you were wearing.
“Don’t apologise for having fun. I just want you to be careful. All I ever want is for you to be okay and sometimes what you do with all those people you don’t know isn’t good for you sweetheart.”
You squeezed him tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. As he mumbled how “I’ll be better, I promise” into your neck, pressing multiple kisses in quick succession to just under the right side of your jaw before settling back into silence where the two of stay for some time.
The soft regular movement of Matty’s thumb rubbing circles on your hip stopped, his hand significantly less colder than they were before he had them up your hoodie, moved across the expanse of your lower back and rolling you over so you were now draped over him instead and tucked into his side. 
“You know sometimes I feel the only time I might get better is when we are together. You ever feel like that?”
It was now your turn to nod silently, a soft hum leaving your mouth as you pressed a quick kiss into his skin as you settled into a slumber.
2017
You had been pottering about your flat most of the morning, doing a deep clean of the place before you were supposed to be heading to meet the boys for Sunday dinner. Your boyfriend of nearly a year Michael, once again opting out of spending time with you and your family, claiming he had better things to be doing that sitting about and listening to the boys talk about what they had been getting up to in the studio again.
Personally you think it was because George let slip last time Michael could actually be bothered to join you all for a drink, that he had slept with you in a drunken ramble, much to the dismay of your boyfriend, your brother and yourself. And Michael didn’t take too fondly to the fact you were still close with George after the confession.
You were in the middle of folding the last bit of the washing that you had dumped on your bed when your phone pinged with a text from Hann.
‘Did you get a letter in the post this week? x’
‘I get a lot of stuff in the post Ads! Off who? x’
‘Matty x’
The moment you saw his name, your heart got stuck in your throat. None of you had heard from him since he he had left, something to do with his recovery. So the thought of contact from him had you dropping your phone on the bed and rushing from your room, shouting at Michael about the post you had received this week. Only receiving a mumble from him about the fire place; had you dashing to the living room, where you rifled through the post sat on top of the mantelpiece. 
There slotted in between this months Rolling Stone subscription and a local take away menu was a white envelope addressed to you. 
A Barbados post mark sitting in the top right corner.
Dropping the rest of the mail on the coffee table, you rushed back to your bedroom, locking the door immediately before sitting at the edge of your bed and taking in Matty’s scrawl of a penmanship. Running your fingers over the ink; your mind flashed back to that day. 
The day you realised he wasn’t okay. 
How completely out of it he was as you watched him at their last festival gig of the iliwys tour cycle. How utterly miserable he looked as he threw himself about the stage, looking just the shadow of the man you knew and loved.
You knew something wasn’t right as you watched from the side of stage with their manager Jamie. George ever the professional, had even broke his concentration bubble to catch your eye several times during their festival set, worry set in his features. 
The way your gentle giant walked straight up to you, stopped in front of you and just by the look in your eyes. Your face never one to hide your emotions. George wrapped his arm around you and without a single word, the pair of you knew you had to speak to the other boys about it. You needed to talk to him.
The night of the intervention. The way he screamed and shouted at you all. He admitted to using but he didn’t do it quietly. The way Ross stepped in front of you in defence when he swore at you. Hann’s hand wrapped tightly around your own, George’s hand squeezing your shoulder in support as your brown eyes glossed over as you took in the man in front of you. He wasn’t your Matty and you hated looking at him like this. 
You didn’t want to look at him at all and it broke your heart.
Slipping your finger into the envelope you finally tore it open, slipping out several pages of paper. You weren’t sure how long you were holding them before you actually unfolded them but it felt like a lifetime of contemplating before you managed to finally take a deep breath and compose yourself enough to read his words.
‘Darling,
As part of my recovery, I’ve been tasked to write a letter to everyone I’ve hurt and yours is the last one I’ve got to write. Not because you mean the least to me. Quite the opposite. Yours has been the hardest to write. Harder than Gabby. My Mam, Dad & Louis & the boys because you mean the absolute world to me. 
This is actually the third time I’ve attempted to write this. Admitting that I’ve hurt you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. You know what I’m like, I’m a stubborn twat at the best of times but I needed to do this because you deserve this apology probably the most.
You’ve never once judged me and the fucked up things I do when I’m on one. Since we were kids you’ve stuck by my side, defended me when I really didn’t deserve it and loved me endlessly from the sidelines and I’ve definitely not deserved your love but you gave me it anyway.
Do you remember that time we were on tour in 2014 and I was fucked up on coke for god knows how many days in a row and you couldn’t even be in the same room as me that day on the bus when I was on that god awful come down on the way to North Carolina?
Yet you still didn’t say no when I selfishly came crawling to your bunk to interrupt your peace and quiet with my tail between my legs, asking to come lie with you. You could have told me to piss off but you didn’t, you let me squish myself into your bunk and your arms and let me sleep off my hangover in your arms without complaining once. I would have complained but you didn’t, you let me and my cold hands snake their way into your personal space like I hadn’t gotten on your last nerve just ten minutes prior. 
I’m quite a selfish person. You my darling are the most selfless person I know and I don’t deserve the good grace you’ve given me time and time again. Especially seeing as I dragged you along for the ride and then you’ve had to babysit me because I can’t control myself when it comes to drugs and showing off because I want everyone to like me.
You could have taken the tough love route, told me I’m a big fuck up and judged me for my drug use and tried to get me to stop (which probably would have have had the opposite effect out of defiance) but you didn’t. You silently kept an eye on me and made sure I didn’t end up killing myself. Until I took it too far.
I’ve seen you look at me with distaste over the years. Yet nothing compares to the way you looked at me that day you guys staged your intervention. I didn’t think you guys had noticed. I thought me and Miss H had this great big secret going on and I didn’t want to let any of you guys in on it because it would ruin what we had.
Yet you know me better than anyone. You and George both just knew that day. Of course you did. You’re my best friends. But you don’t know how happy I am the four of you staged that intervention and told me I needed to get my shit together.
When I think about the way I lashed out at you. The way your big brown eyes that usually sparkle with mischief when we’re with each other, glossed over as you just stood and took it and didn’t even raise your voice at me once. I can feel the lump in my throat tighten as I write this.
I deserved it you know. I deserved whatever fury was bubbling inside you because I was a class A cunt that day! I’m truly surprised Ross didn’t knock my head off and I wouldn’t have blamed him either if he had done!
I’m just so glad you did something because the thought of losing every single one of you shatters my soul so much, I would cease to exist without you.
I could sit here and write down the list of all things I’m sorry for but physically we don’t have the time or enough paper! But you should know that I am.
I’m sorry. 
For everything.
I’m doing okay. The best I’ve been in a long time. The only way being here might get better is if you were here too.
I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I’m begging for it because the thought of you hating me and not being able to trust me anymore kills me.
You really an angel on this earth.
I don’t deserve you.
I love you.
Yours Matthew x
p.s I cannot wait to be reunited with your tits! I’ve missed them!
You let out a chortled laugh as you read through the last line of the letter. Your hands quickly making their way to your face as you wiped the tears that were streaming from your face. The cuffs of your hoodie wet from where you’ve tried to stop the flow of tears. Pressing the letter to your chest, you took a few deep breaths to try compose yourself before you left the confinements of your bedroom.
Hurriedly shoving the letter into your handbag, so there was no chance Michael could stumble across your letter. He didn’t like Matty as it was, you didn’t want to give him ammunition to say anything. You grabbed your car keys and rushed out of the house without a word to your boyfriend and heading straight to Hann’s.
2020
You had broken up with Michael.
The red flags should have been there from the start really. He always had less than nice words to say about you and your relationships with the boys. He didn’t have a lot of nice things to say in general but you were blinded by love and the man he was when you first met that you didn’t see the red flags being waved right in front of your face until your heart (and self confidence) were already broken.
Your brother didn’t like Michael, he thought there was something off about him from the off but you put it down to Ross doing his job as your big brother but his opinion didn’t waver once in the four years you were together. George never liked how possessive he was and the fact he became even more so and tried to stop you from speaking to him after he found out about your night together. Which just fyi happened three years prior to meeting him, so he (everyone) was flabbergasted as to why he was so bothered! Hann. Your sweet angel of a bestie had even voiced how he didn’t like him and he was never one to be rude which should have also been a clue you were dating a dickhead.
Then there was Matty. Matty hated him. The feelings were mutual. Michael had told you plenty of times over your four years together that he hated your best friend but he would never tell you why. Matty told you it was because ‘he was a twat who didn’t deserve you’. You were obliged to agree because that mother fucker cheated on you!
Multiple women across the last two years of your relationship. 
To say you were stunned was an understatement yet it somehow made sense and fell into place so easily when you thought about it all. Yet that didn’t make it hurt any less. But a friend of yours sending you the evidence whilst you were on the last night of the UK tour was the final nail in the coffin that was your shitty relationship with him.
You weren’t sure who wanted to kill him more. Your brother? Matty? Or George? The three of them were raging amongst one another at their after party which should have been a celebration whilst Hann sat with his arms wrapped around you as you cried to him and Carly. You didn’t think anything would make you feel better apart from getting obliterated with your favourite people and forgetting about Michael and the impending doom that was about to be bestowed upon the entire world.
Matty was your saving grace.
Asked you to move in, without even hesitating. Naturally you said yes, sitting in your flat all by yourself whilst you cried over your douchebag of an ex during lockdown did not sound appealing to you. It was giving ‘Emma Pilssbury crying to Celine Dion in her car from Glee’ and you weren’t quite ready to hit that stage of your breakup depression just yet.
Two weeks turned into two months and then four months of lockdown but quite frankly you had never been happier. Living with Matty again, surprisingly was just as good the second time round if not easier. Except this time you weren’t poor, your kitchen roof wasn’t leaking and there was a 95% less drug taking which made your life a whole lot less stressful.
It was just easy with him. At some point whilst the world stood still, Matty and Tahliah broke up and then it really just was you two; doing your washing, fighting over who’s turn it was to use their club card during the weekly shop at Tesco and raising his (both of your’s) new dog, Mayhem.
The two of you had been getting ready to move into a studio tomorrow with George after four months of just the two of you playing house, the pair of them just itching to get back to work. You were aware that Matty had been writing already but you knew it would be full steam now Notes had been released and you wanted to make use of the time you had left just the two of you.
Only because you knew as soon as you got your hands on George. That was it! Not a chance Matty was getting any attention. You had missed your big friendly giant more than anything and you knew from your FaceTime with him last night whilst you couldn’t sleep that he was more than excited to see you too.
All three of you were sunbathing in the garden. Mayhem by your side as the two of you soaked up some much needed sun. The heatwave the UK was currently in the middle of was doing wonders for your skin. You had been lying in silence for the past thirty minutes, a book covering your face to block out the sun as you tried to read. Matty’s head in your lap as you presumed he was napping when you suddenly felt him turn over in your lap, now on his side and looking up at you.
Lifting the book ever so slightly, so you could peek underneath at him, you cocked an eyebrow as he watched you with a gentle gaze. “Yes?” Your tone rich with sarcasm as you stared back at him. “Anything actually going through that pretty head of yours Healy? What you thinking about?”
“Us.”
“Us?” You laughed. “What about us?”
“You remember my eighteenth birthday?”  He asked; peering up at you with a soft smile.
“The party?” Matty nodded. “I remember Ross stopping me from getting with Max! Remember him? I was gutted!”  You laughed. “Why?”
“You know that’s not what I meant?” Matty frowned slightly as he pouted at you.
“Of course I do.” You put your book down, your hands automatically reaching for what was left of his curls,“What about it?”
“You ever think about it?”
“Sometimes. Think we’ve done a fantastic job at keeping it from my brother! Especially with your big gob!”  You smiled down at him as you ran your hand through his curls gently.
“Funny!”  He sent a glare your way, causing you to laugh loudly at his attempt to be intimidating. 
“What’s got you thinking about that kiss from a million years ago anyway?”
“Wanking material.” He somehow managed to say without cracking smile.
It was your turn to shoot him a glare at his crudeness. It wasn’t long though until he was grinning up at you from his place in your lap. You pushed his head away from you in fake annoyance. God you couldn’t stand him sometimes!
“Ohh come on darling. I hear you sometimes! We all do it, you’ve got to think of something!” Matty tried to lighten the mood.
“Yeah I think about G’s 23rd birthday.” You smirked. Your vibrator was good but it wasn’t George. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a good orgasm and thinking it might have been before Michael makes you want to cry. Your confession/kind of a joke caused the grin to fall from his face and you almost felt bad, knowing he doesn’t want to hear about the incredible night you had with George because if anyone asked him, he absolutely did not want to relive it.
“I’m joking!” Your hand reached for his curls again. “Seriously though, what’s got you reminiscing about it. It’s been a long time.”
“Just thinking about how much I love you is all.” His confession made you stop. “What would have happened if we’d said fuck it and we ended up together.”
“I don’t think Ross would have been too happy. You saw how mad he got about G!”  You laughed nervously as you thought about stopping your brother from knocking his band mate out.
“He’d have gotten over it.” Matty was now leaning up on his arms, leaning forward to press a light kiss to your bikini clad torso before pressing several kisses in quick succession up your stomach until he was hovering over your chest and looking down at your face. “If we were happy, he’d have been happy. You know he would have been.”
His actions made you hold your breath. It being strangely intimate and probably the most intimate you’d been since you were teenagers. You wondered if he was actually going to kiss you again but he just looked down at you fondly.
“You know I’d do anything for you right?”  You nodded. “You’re one of the only people who makes me truly happy.  I’d literally go too far just you have you near. I’d go blind just to see you!”
You rolled your eyes at the dramatics of his statement but the sweet sentiment made you smile, you reached up to hold the side of his face in your hands. Your thumb sweeping over the apple of his left cheek. The pair of you just basking in the warmth of the sun and each other. Unsure how long you hadn’t said anything, Matty broke the silence in the most Matty way.
“Literally anything you need. I’ve got you for life sweetheart. A cuppa? A joint? An orgasm? I’m your man!” 
A chortle left your mouth as he cheekily beamed down at you, waiting for what he knew would be a somewhat sarcastic response. He didn’t realise he’d really set himself up for what you were about to say.
“Don’t worry I’m good. I’m seeing G tomorrow!”
The way his eyes narrowed at you made you cackle even louder as he finally jumped up off you, to walk back inside without another word. “I’m sorry!”  You laughed. “I promise not to shag George when I see him. I’m good with my vibrator I promise!”  You manage to sputter out through your laughter. “Stick the kettle on whilst you’re in there love.”  You shouted after him.
Matty threw you the middle finger over his shoulder which made you laugh even more as he went though the back door, Mayhem hot on his heels; knowing fine well he was going to put the kettle on and make you a brew just how you liked it because for as long as he can remember he’s never been able to say no to you and he didn’t think he’d ever will.
2023
The 1975 in Show and Concert was possibly your favourite tour that you’d been apart of with the boys. There was an accumulative of factors; the fact you weren’t the only girl on tour this time round, Carly had joined Adam with their son and Charli had come to as many shows as her own schedule permitted. You also had a little part to play at Matthew’s request (obviously!) donned in a white lab coat, you brought Matty a hot honey and lemon on stage every night and pottered about with the rest of the crew, making sure your brother and the rest of the band were all good before slipping off to watch the rest of the show from backstage.
Or it could have been that you and Matty were closer than ever. Ever since lockdown and the pair of you had been living together, everything seemed so simple that since restrictions were lifted, you just carried on living together. I think when George removed the last box of things from your old flat to take to Matty’s did it for him, that he just shook his head with a laugh. 
“You guys really are an old married couple!” He chuckled; slamming the boot close and jumping in the car before you could get a word in edgeways.
He wasn’t wrong, you guys did essentially everything together apart from have sex. Not that you hadn’t thought about it. Somewhere between moving into the studio with him and George and then your brother and Hann joining them to start recording their fifth studio album. You hadn’t shagged anyone in over a year and there was only so many times you could use your vibrator before you got bored and there wasn’t a cat’s chance in hell you were ordering a new toy to the studio because Matty didn’t have boundaries and absolutely would have opened it before you could even get the chance to get your hands on it.
You had also promised after day one; after one too many jokes and essentially mounting George at any given moment just to have him near you that you wouldn’t sleep with him. Even though a repeat of his birthday from seven years prior was literally so so temping to you! So what the hell were you going to do? The thought of dating apps made you want to vomit and hanging about bars really didn’t seem that appealing.
But Matty being Matty; was being overly affectionate one night after one too many glasses of red after a show, had the two of you giggling like teenagers and wondering if the two of you had gotten better at kissing since Matty’s 18th. Curiosity getting the better of the both of you, had you surging towards one another in a flurry of horniness after the kiss, was how you found yourself straddling his lap and snogging him like your life depended on it! Until you physically had to pull away to get your breath back and a rush of sense flashed through your brain. The two of you went to bed separately.
Neither of you spoke about it again.
Nor did you ever think about how the two of you were always drawn to each other no matter what shit storm was going on around you until now. You were just tying up the end of the UK leg of the tour, you and the band were in Ireland and Jamie had just told you that *The Scum* were running a horrendous article about Matty. This had in turn resulted in an argument after their penultimate show between the boys. 
You knew he did things in the heat of the moment whilst he’s on stage or says shit without thinking and it comes to bite him in the arse almost every time but he’d never do what they’re accusing him of on purpose.
But seeing your brother hurt by Matty’s stupid actions; the repercussions for not just himself but for the rest of the band, your brother, yourself just by association. It was enough for you to step in, in defence of your brother. He came before everyone else, every single time.
This you didn’t realise; had as big of an effect until you were stood frozen on stage in front of your brother, Matty in between you and Ross. Apologising to him, crying in front of thousands of people. How Ross hadn’t broke the facade and took him in his arms was beyond you because your brother’s face was currently blurry to you and he was stood a foot in front of you. Tears filled your brown eyes and were threatening to spill as Matty let his vulnerable side show in front of everyone. Something he never does.
You had done so well until he apologised once more; removing his hand from Ross’s arm and reaching behind him blindly to grab on to you. The tears automatically fell; the action enough to make Ross twitch in an ache to comfort you. Something he couldn’t do until the band had come off stage at the end of consumption.
After the final song of tour; the boys usually head on out for the after party. Tonight you had Matty back at the hotel in your room on his knees and begging for you. 
Begging for you to not leave him. Begging for you not to move out. Begging for you to stay by his side. Begging for you to still love him.
You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked down at the man in front of you; on his knees as his hands grasped at your legs, pulling you close as he hugged you as physically close as possible as he sobbed against your legs. Instinctively you reached for his curls, running your fingers through them softly.
“Baby. Look at me.” The softness of his curls tickled your thighs as he stayed pressed against you. “Matthew. Darling look at me.” 
You managed to loosen his grip enough to slide down on to your knees in front of him, taking a hold of his face in your hands as you eyes flitted across his face, smiling softly at him as he tried to calm himself down.
“I can’t lose you. I can’t lose any of you.” He shook his head, curls flying in front of his face. “But I can’t lose you darling. I can’t.”
“Matthew. Look at me. Why do you think you’re going to lose me? You’re never going to lose me. You’re kinda stuck with me!” You laughed. “And even if I decided to fuck off, my brother being your bassist kind of means I’m stuck with you anyway.” The grip on his face got tighter as his hands reached up to hold on to your wrists.
“But last night…”
“Ross and I just want you to use your brain sometimes before you do stupid shit! You’ve not lost either of us. I promise.”
“Promise?”
Your heart jumped into your throat at the swell of tears in his eyes and his lip quiver.
“Life. That’s how long you’ve got me for Healy. Promise.” As soon as you stopped speaking; Matty threw himself at you, arms around your neck and squeezing you so tightly you nearly stopped breathing. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you” Being repeated in your ear over and over as you squeezed him back, pressing your lips to the side of his face in consecutive kisses until he abruptly pulled away. Eyes red and looking at you so softly you thought he was going to cry again.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. You know I do.” You smiled at him warmly.
“No. It’s always been you.” He said as he reached for your hands and it felt like you had been hit in the chest. The sting of tears trickling up your face and threatening to fill your eyes as you silently took him in. You went to open your mouth but nothing came out.
“I know I always talk too much but just listen to me. I love you. Since we were kids I reckon, I was just too chicken to ever do anything.  When you kissed me on my 18th birthday. When you saw I needed help,  you saved my life sending me to rehab. Every day, I thought about getting home to you.  It’s what got me through every day. You make me a better man darling. When you take my shit when I don’t deserve it. When you make me a brew in the morning just how I like it. When you roll me a joint when you realise I’m too tense and in my head without me even having to ask. When you tell me to shut the fuck up before a situation escalates. When we go to big Tesco and walk the dog or do all the washing together. I fucking live for that shit because it’s with you. Fuck I’ve been writing songs about you for the past decade! You are intertwined with every era of this band sweetheart. I mean 60% of the last album is about you! ” He chuckled softly.
“What?” Managed to escape you in a gasp.
“Come on sweetheart. Some of this music has literally been out for ten years!”
“I - Just never - Why have you never said anything before now?” Your voice horse with frustration.
“I love your brother too much. But thinking I’d lost the two of you, just made me think fuck it. You deserve to know. You need to know.” Matty shrugged casually.
“That’s stupid.” Your deadpan tone, stunning him silent.
“Sorry?”
“Wasn’t it you that said to me that if Ross knew I was happy. That we were happy he wouldn’t care. He’d have gotten over it? And you’ve just subliminally been telling me you love me through music this entire time?”
“Yes?” 
You cocked an eyebrow at his hesitation, the questioning tone as your eyes flit across his handsome features. Cheeks tinged with pink due to his tears, his chest falling up and down rapidly at his confession as he awaited you answer. You still didn’t say anything, thinking about how to respond until you found the perfect response.
Surging forward you pushed your lips against Matty’s. Hands reaching for the curls you loved so much. Waiting for him to reciprocate felt like a life time but your Matthew was well equipped in the art of kissing you back so realistically it was 0.2 seconds after he had gotten over the shock.
You kissed him over and over again, not wanting to stop the feeling of how your lips moved against his, how his tongue felt against yours. You felt like you were on fire, he was intoxicating. He always was but fuck was he more than ever. Finally finding the strength to untangle yourself from him, chests heaving as you both got oxygen back in your lungs you said the words, the way he’d been wishing to hear for the past sixteen years.
“I love you too.”
When he was finally seen in public two days later on the eve of their Gorilla gig in Manchester. The fans noticed Matty was in higher spirits than he had been two days prior when his breakdown was caught on camera. You had been nervous to tell your brother but Ross claimed he already knew Matty was in love with you, he was just waiting to see if he’d actually grow some balls or not! Then he hugged you so tightly and whispered he was happy for the both of you, which in turn had you and Matty crying backstage in their green room as you found yourself in a 1975 sandwich! 
You don’t think you had seen Matty look so happy on stage in a long time. He loved touring but it was gruelling but seeing him on stage in this tiny venue with his best friends and his girl watching and waiting for him side stage. He couldn’t stop beaming. The fans noticed, the comments already flying in online about him. They increased tenfold when he jumped offstage, not waiting the ten second walk backstage before kissing you like his life depended on it.
The blurry picture of Matty holding your jaw in his hands as he kissed you in the shadows of the stage was on a 1975 update account within minutes.
Captioned: If you know you know. Finally 🖤
You were obliged to agree.
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lovingonryles · 3 months
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winter wonderland
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wanted to pump out a little gift for y'all before christmas 🫡 also i DESPERATELY needed to write for my girl gwen ugh love her 🫶🏻 (i’m legally married to her in case you’re wondering)
pairing: gwen stacy x fem!reader
summary: headcanons for being gwen's girlfriend during winter <3
warnings: established relationship, cursing, implied girly/femme reader, reader is shorter than gwen, tooth-rotting fluff
word count: 687, should take about five and a half minutes to read
listen to: winter wonderland by beabadoobe
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i don’t imagine gwen being a cold weather girl
she would much rather prefer walking in the park with you over trudging through piles upon piles of snow
she definitely has soft hands (calloused from her drumsticks, but soft), so she hates winter because her hands get all dry and cracked
her cuticles also get really bad, girl’s hands look like this:
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but no need to worry, because her pretty girlfriend’s to the rescue!!
every day you SLATHER this girl’s hands in lotion and pluck her cuticles
you also paint her nails in her current favorite color and she does yours <3
even with hating winter, she has so many poofy jackets
they surprisingly look so good on her
whenever you see her in one, you always HAVE to go and give her a big bear hug because what else are you supposed to do?? she looks like a fucking marshmallow!!
when you say you’re cold, she always insists on giving you her jacket. of course you protest every time, but it never works
she of course wants her girl to be warm, but she always wants to see how dumb you look in the jacket (girl’s 5’8 and has muscles [you can’t convince me otherwise], of course you’re gonna look like an idiot in it)
she’ll take a picture and post it on her story and you’ll be like “ gwen noooo :((” and she’s all “oh, I’m sorry. can’t help that you’re smaller than me” 😭🫶🏻
sometimes you convince her to go out in the snow with you
it takes a while, but once she’s out there, she won’t go back inside
she is absolutely a BEAST at snowball fights
you’ll be hiding behind a tree holding your snowball, and she’ll come out of nowhere and hit you right in the face
you have to yell at her to stop at some point because it’s just snowball after snowball and you’re starting to get cold
you guys also make snowmen, i don’t make the rules
hers always look kind of demented tho
shit’s looking like this:
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“gwen, what the fuck is that 😭”
“that’s harold. what do you have against him?”
“he looks like he got thrown in a blender…”
“your face looks like it got thrown in a blender.”
“you’re so rude!! ☹️ you know what, at least mine looks better.”
christmas is the absolute best with her
you guys would have a tradition of giving each other the most ass gifts ever, like cat socks or shrek earrings
one year she legit gives you coal
the next you get her an empty pringles can, you get the process
sometimes she actually turns up and gets you something good that reminded her of you
one year she literally gave you this amazing dress
satin in your favorite color that came down to your knees with lace on the edges
“where’d you get the money for this?!”
“i have my ways.”
“i swear to god, if you spent all your money on this…” (she did)
needless to say, it’s your new favorite dress
she also loves baking with you, even though she‘s ass at it
you’re trying to make snowflake cookies and they end up looking like a fucking whale
also the dough’s super inconsistent because she poured almost the whole bag of flour in 😭
poor girl cannot follow instructions for the life of her (I don’t believe in consistency LMAOLMAO)
the cookies are so bad you almost gag trying to eat them but at least you spent quality time with your girlfriend!!
if there’s one thing she does know how to make tho, it’s hot chocolate
she has a killer recipe, but she refuses to give it to you
says it’s a family recipe that can absolutely NOT be shared
after a day of her kicking your ass with the snowballs, her hot chocolate’s the best thing to perk you up
your cold hands will graze each other’s as she hands you your mug <3
you’ll cuddle while the snow falls outside, her arm gently around your waist, tons of blankets over you two
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aerodaltonimperial · 5 months
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hi, friends, guess what time it is? it's DEEP DIVE RING POSTS with katy (and vamp). today's theorizing sesh is near and dear to my heart, namely because it actually took me awhile to figure this one out.
(but before we start, this is one of those moments where i'm going to say remember how a month ago we said they were majorly stalling this storyline until wrestledream because all this shit started to not make sense anymore - WE WERE CORRECT! we just didn't have all the information, since we clearly didn't know about copeland hopping over and that was in the works during the stall time. but while we didn't have the players right, we were spot-on with the tactics being used because they didn't make sense with what had happened earlier. i'm gonna give us like a B+ on that assignment, for getting the details right but not the main characters, and this is using my 11th grade civics teacher as a model after i wrote a 3-page essay on a historical presidential election where i could remember minute details but not who fucking ran in the race.)
anyway, keep that in mind as we head into DEEP DIVE THEORY TIME with katy, because we're going to look at these two theories:
darby is not actually injured
they are stalling again
let's start with #1! WHAT?? you say, and yo, i know, it took me weeks to figure this out, too, because dude has legit been doing a good job with this. except... not quite good enough. let's break this part down first, because honestly, we're giving him mad props for his, on account of he's fucking smart, and also we were suckered in and i mean, i gotta give props where props are due.
i'm still not totally sure if he really did get injured at wrestledream or not, but if he DID, it certainly wasn't bad enough to stop him from immediately going to europe and climbing mountains for like 2 weeks. dude was rappelling. there's some really fucking important shoulder and arm shit that goes into rappelling lol. but specifically, i kept waiting for an update after wrestledream that never materialized - either on the dirt sheets or on his IG stories, like a "haha broke my arm #coffindrop" you know what i'm saying? never happened. he showed up once, did a promo, and left. to climb mountains. sus.
then, he comes back. attacks nick after his interview with his mom (typing that sentence was a joy, i can't lie). the next day, goes to nitro and absolutely does not land that flip. what he DOES land is on his shoulder. the dirt sheets DID pick this up, with some pretty hilarious headlines. after this, he appears on AEW in the sling. the very, very prominent sling. it's so prominent, that it's on top of his suit during the ric flair segment. he even goes so far as to film an IG story with sting as sting tells him NOT TO GO TRY THE TRIKE FLIP AGAIN and darby being like NO I HAVE TO DO IT EVEN IF I'M INJURED and you know what, me not catching it here is on me, 100%. they were laying it on way too thick. that injury was THROWN IN OUR FACES lol. i'm better than this, i swear.
he even got nitro to go in on it, which, again, props. they were all "oooohhh against doctor's orders" okay but you know what works? if he actually wears the sling. when he goes. and has something on his arm. when he does the flip again. and doesn't fucking coffin drop a dude backstage from a cabinet using his bad shoulder without missing a beat and then going in for one of those half bro hugs after. he completely no sold it there. that shit ain't injured.
(also please enjoy the random wrappings - sometimes it's his elbow! sometimes it's his wrist! sometimes his shoulder is broken, other times fractured! good lord, he's like a fucking wizard.)
i'm pretty impressed, though. he knew that everyone would go "this idiot is ACTUALLY DUMB ENOUGH to do this shit while injured!" and he banked on it and he played us. that's like... the most self-aware thing ever. god dammit. he's hotter now. i'm so mad. I AM SO MAD lol.
so okay, he's not actually injured. that's fucking kayfabe. but the question is... why? why are they running a kayfabe injury? if they just needed to get him time off for his europe trip, then... he's back now? why keep it up now? in fact, why go HARDER with it now, when there isn't any reason to keep him out of the ring?
and that's #2: they're stalling again.
specifically, they are stalling for full gear. this storyline has suffered so many incidents of stalling, and we've really only identified the source of one of them: copeland. but, like, why did darby win the battle royale on july 19 to get a shot at the TNT belt AT THE BEGINNING OF SEPTEMBER? why on EARTH was that so delayed? anyway, i digress, the point is they are stalling, and i don't know why. sting is around until march. this feud has been going for months, so they don't need to add any additional story, so... unless darby fucks off for another climbing trip, i can't figure out why they would stall just for another PPV. this FUCKING STORYLINE has run for MONTHS and there is no REASON that christian should still be targeting darby when he's gotten everything he wants (the belt and nick wayne).
they are obviously teasing that copeland is going to be the third person in the sting+darby team, but vamp doesn't think he will be and i'm inclined to agree with her. the copeland v. christian feud is going to be a major thing for them, and it doesn't make much sense for them to go against each other in the ring for the first time!! ... in a 6-way tag match that isn't even really about them. we think there will be a bait and switch with this: they'll tease it like it will be copeland, as they already are, and then they'll pull the "i can't fight my friend" and bring someone else in, thus prolonging the inevitable copeland v christian show-down for later when it can be its own match, as it deserves to be.
but why. are. they. stalling. this. until. full. gear.
so the options are, in order of most likely to least likely:
darby is going to leave for another trip and they needed to give him time off. since it's his fake injury, this is my most likely option. the only reason i question this is because he's pulled this kayfabe injury into REAL TIME and darby... does not really do that super often. his IG runs non-kayfabe at all times. they could easily "fake" the injury on screen and he does whatever he wants off-screen.
they want to put more story into this, which is not necessary at this point because this has literally been going since july. but AEW likes beating dead horses with sticks, so. possible.
they are going to use ric flair and wanted to give him a PPV so it's a bigger match, which doesn't really make sense since he had a huge retirement match last year. but, maybe it's a big middle finger to everyone else, who knows.
they are stalling because they need the location of full gear.
why would they need the location of full gear? because full gear is happening in los angeles. if you needed to bring someone back after an altercation and were not sure what the reception was going to be, the best place to do it? hometown crowd. BUT KATY THIS MAKES SENSE WHY IS THIS THE LAST OPTION. because i don't trust ANY OF THESE FUCKS to do what makes narrative sense here lol. bringing jack in for copeland IS THE MOST SATISFYING NARRATIVE OPTION IN THIS STORYLINE. it's got punch, it's got pop, it's got the mirror of the mentee vs mentor we already have with darby and nick. it's finally bringing jack in when his GHOST has been behind this entire thing from the start. BUT IT HAS ABOUT A .2% CHANCE AND WE KNOW I DON'T EVER GET WHAT I WANT. so it's the last option. is it the most satisfying? yes. would it be what i wrote if this was a story? yes. will they do it? no.
honestly, darby doesn't need to BE in this story any longer. the only thing he needs to come back for now is nick, and they can tease that out until march before he leaves for everest and have the big darby vs nick showdown then. there's certainly no need to do it now: let it simmer. let them beat each other up backstage more. let shayna have more tearful interviews about their bro-tastic relationship. but he doesn't need to be here. and i can't figure out why christian is still targeting him, specifically. there's no point.
so... i'm stuck. i guess we'll see where they go with this, and if darby fucks off again, then we have our answer as to why they were stalling for nov. 18th, but for now.... i don't know! i have nothing. i have the most compelling narrative option, and i don't believe that they'll do it. so we're stuck lol.
i welcome any ideas to this, because i'm annoyed that i can't find the thread to pull this one out. and as always, if i'm wrong, it's because i'm actually kind of dumb: remember that essay. that B+ was kinder than it should have been hahaha.
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chornijvoron · 25 days
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EC tekkno 2024 show experiences
I started writing this in a PM to @ao3littlelesshuman's simple question about "how were the shows" but hey, what the hell, tumblr is for diarizing right. Not reviews of the shows audio-visual-performance wise, but rather my experiences.
Berlin 2024.02.02: met some chill people from a village in Brandenburg just by asking to sit near them on the floor, ended up chatting, and we were in about the 3rd-4th row. Which, barricade has its charms, but back in that space was the best for actually being able to dance and enjoy the show as a show, not a fandom thing, if that makes sense. Just dance my ass off, jump around, do all the crowd interaction stuff that's harder at the barricade. Sing at the people around me and have them sing back. It felt the most collective in that sense. It was also my first time and I hadn't watched any full shows before to avoid spoilers, so there was the extra sprinkle of surprise-joy. Was near where the Daniels mostly are and loved watching them, it was so cute. As a show, I think there were some rusty bits / Nico specifically was struggling with his over-ears and hearing himself and I think it showed in a few of the tricky high bits. I really felt for him </3 Nevertheless, I think it was the most pure fun of the 3 shows I attended.
Vienna 2024.03.01: I went into this one in the wrong headspace, I think: after Berlin, I was thinking like "okay that was great, but now that I'm going to experience it again, I have to do an even better job of experiencing it, but I was conflicted as to what that meant - I was obsessing about getting the right place, filming the right things (never thought I'd be a concert filmer, but I loved having snippets from the berlin show as memories...) - and I got so caught up in these details that I forgot to like, have fun. I was too focused on getting shit done on a checklist, or like, getting a good grade in Concert Attendee. I also didn't make any friends, either in line or at the barricade, and I did try a bit. Everyone just kinda kept to themselves or their own little groups. Kinda tracks with my experience that Austrians are very polite but not very friendly. Upsides: I did get to film all of Parasite, my absolute fave (was obsessed with acid house as a Teen). And I did have one magical moment during MC Thunder, where Nico looked at me, I saluted him, and he pointed at me and grinned. I did indeed die. Seeing Tank get called up by Nico and Kevin to be applauded by 14?000 people was also extremely wholesome. Got a decent kiss video too :) and David's solo a second time. Still, would say this was my least favorite show/experience.
Dresden 2024.03.02: What a wild experience. I had no ticket and so on the way from Vienna to Berlin, decided to just refresh kleinanzeigen until I found one and I had until the Dresden stop at 3pm to find something. Thankfully Stefan from Hesse posted a spare at 8:34 and I replied at 8:36 and he seemed legit so...there we go. Figured it would be harder to get scammed because we were going to meet at the venue and do it in cash (face value by the way, thank you, you legend). Once we chatted back and forth booked a hostel. When I got in, went to the hostel, changed immediately (outfit status: smelly), headed to the venue, realized there were no trams, so walked until i found a rentable bike, and biked in my wacky ass outfit.
Then, god bless the Discord, got to the front of the line. Mad dash, made centre barricade just a bit to the right (sadly right behind a giant lamp on the stage, which prevented a bit of interaction), and set my intentions of: don't worry about anything but having fun. And so that's what I did! Barely filmed, just rocked out. And GOT filmed, by Christian and Dajo :) Also got a lot of crowdsurfer induced bruises which was really fucking annoying, I swear I lost half my hair volume before I had a chance to put it up. The show was sick by every performer - openers sounded better than in Vienna, EC sounded amazing shoutout bollo, I'm sure those acoustics were Not Easy (it's basically a big convention hall, no seating). Had kinda a warehouse rave feel, in fact. Highlights: Christian filming me for ages (during Hate/Love I think?), lots of outfit compliments, all the emotion from last show of the tour, Nico referring to the piano as being based off Kevin, Kevin leading the WGTM singalong at the end instead of Nico, seeing Nico's crazy fucking blue/green eyes from that close, seeing the kiss from up close (almost missed it thanks to crowdsurfers), and most of all: the special intimacy that comes from being barricade and singing back at the singers who are singing to you.
And doing all that with new friends :)
There was a lot more chaos in Dresden that there's no need to detail, but I think altogether if Berlin was the most pure fun, Dresden was the most meaningful show to me.
Finally, some shots from my journal. My practice this year now that I've decided to really see as much live music as I can is to combat my memory issues (and my guilt about spending money on something as fleeting as a concert) by writing down everything I can remember after a concert, using pics and film to help. Dresden and Wien were composed on the road so aren't as cute, but nevertheless, I really am happy with this practice and would recommend it to anyone.
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nobodysdaydreams · 2 months
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Y'ALL I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. WTF? WTF?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Or my reaction to Episodes 53-54 of Wolf359).
Welcome back dear readers! Thank you for enjoying my reaction to the Mission Mishap and mini episodes, which were shorter and a lot easier to fit into my busy schedule. I try to make sure I have time to type out good live quality reactions for you guys, so thanks for your patience on this.
Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.
@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom @lovelyladylavie
Episode 53: Dirty Work
This episode has gotten a lot of hype from the mutuals. I hope that means Pryce and Cutter are actually gonna bother to show up this time. The two of them did their whole ominous “we’re going to space” thing at the very beginning of this season, well hurry up and go to space then since you care so much! Instead they gave us enough time for Doug to have his radio show arc, which (while it was necessary, and I enjoyed it), just goes to show how much time Pryce and Cutter actually put into this. Which should be evident given that it has taken them at least this long to get to space despite it being their “life’s work” (and for some “higher purpose” they’ll probably monologue about too no doubt 🙄. Hopefully they keep their speech shorter or at least more interesting than Whiskey Boy). Laziest villains of all time sending other people to space the dirty work. Which happens to be the episode title, look at that.
And if I had to guess who is going to be doing Pryce and Cutter’s dirty work, my money’s on Whiskey Boy. Well, actually, my money’s on free-will deprived Hera, but I hope I’m wrong.
Well this is rare. No preview ads to skip through. Huh.
Oh, Minkowski 🥺. We know you didn't want to kill anyone. Don't worry, I will give you justice in fanfic if the show doesn't give it to you here.
HILBERT. Shut up. Even in death, you still don't get it do you? Minkowski has a right to be upset. Even if anyone on this ship makes it back to earth, they are still gonna be extremely traumatized.
Doug, what are you up to now?
And no, Lovelace. Minkowski is not okay. None of you are okay.
"23rd time is the charm!" That's the spirit, Doug! 🥰
Oh right, the reset that Hera has been putting off.
Lol, Hera's "Good Boy". There you go Doug. You see, he can be taught.
"Get him to do what he's told!" Well that would likely be Hera's department.
Not the bottles of beer song. I swear, why are Kepler and Jacobi even still here? What are they contributing? 🍻 "Don't do anything stupid?" a bit late for that.
Um...what is this? Who was that? Wait is that Maxwell's ghost talking to Jacobi?
Do not be a bad guy again Duck Boy. 🦆 That is how your friend got killed, remember? Do you want to be a dead duck?
Well at least we got some music. Nice work, Doug! 🎶
VERIFICATION CODE WHISKEY. a;lsjkfklsdjfk I KNOW Kepler came up with that one. I don't care that it's a legit code, I know it is, but he probably puts Whiskey in every single secret code of his.
Doug. GET BACK INSIDE.
Not demolitions. Jacobi. You fool. You impulsive explosive dumb-dumb. Do not blow up the ship you're on.
"Now I may not be as smart as my late colleague" understatement of the century Jacobi.
Oh great. He's willing to kill them all. Fantastic. Oh and Kepler's coming too. OH. Because Minkowski killed Maxwell and Kepler let her die and had no remorse. Jacobi wants revenge. Oh. Oh no...
"How's your day going?" been better.
Kepler's speech...so was he working with Jacobi this whole time? Convincing plan if he was, but I gotta say Kepler, I don't know if that's gonna work as smoothly for you this time around. Jacobi seemed pretty upset, and there would be no reason for him to reveal that now when he has the upper hand.
SHOOT HIM!
AS:Jlkfjsdlkfjlkds I KNEW IT!!!!!!!
"Pretty please with sugar on top" oh we're going there.
And after hearing about how Kepler bought him explosives...this whole betrayal thing really did go to the next level with them.
"Is this an elaborate prank to teach me a very important lesson?" askjdfkld;jf I love you Doug. 😂 And that would be hilarious.
Poor Doug...that's it Doug! Go into the star! That's what they want! Why do they want this? Who knows. It is weird though. They presumably know that humans die if they do that, and if they wanted them dead there's a million more efficient ways to kill them.
"Blow Kepler's brain's out" "Jacobi...where are you going with this?" Wow, Whiskey Boy really IS slow, isn't he? Maybe it wouldn't have killed him to shed a few fake tears at Maxwell's funeral.
"He was the one who put her in the line of fire, and you should be the one who has to do it."
That does make sense. Because Kepler won't care about shooting Minkowski or anyone else, and while Minkowski certainly wouldn't enjoy dying, she's still tortured with guilt over the fact that she killed Maxwell. But force Minkowski to relive that trauma, intentionally and painfully, and taking everything from Kepler...oh man Duck Boy really did think this through.
"You complete and utter idiot..." YES PUNCH HIM JACOBI! Unconventional grieving process is an understatement.
"I don't want to kill anyone" "Else" ouch.
And yeah... this is Jacobi's "2 birds one bullet solution"
Jacobi is unhinged.
"This is it. Either she shoots you or I kill everyone" yeah it really is over.
Jacobi. You don't need to do this. You really don't.
PHONE CALL?
No. Do not call Pryce and Cutter. Do not call them Jacobi, I don't care if you want to tell them off do not give them information do not call them. Do not call anyone. Maxwell is dead, who does he even have to talk to? Is he gonna call his family? Maxwell's family?
Kepler begging Minkowski for a backup plan...Jacobi really DID beat him...he's nothing now. Though to be fair, he didn't have much to begin with.
"There's no bomb?" Then...what is...oh no. Jacobi what is this game?
"I'm not crazy, that stuff's dangerous!" 😂 Why is Jacobi evil Doug sometimes? I swear if it wasn't for the circumstances they would be friends.
"You've been through plenty, just sit tight. It will all be over soon." I don't know if that's meant to reassure Lovelace or sound ominous Jacobi, but if it was the former, you really gotta work on not sounding like the bad guy.
"Blue, being sucked in, process, killed the original captain Lovelace...the door." There you go Doug! I knew he could figure it out! His science fiction knowledge really comes in handy.
That is a big risk, especially since you don't know what these aliens want, or their history with slimy business man and his evil science girlfriend!
Yep. Leap of faith. Scary stuff, especially when your trust has been broken before.
"Why couldn't it be snakes" Doug, be careful what you wish for.
"How could he? After everything we've been through?" Kepler, be serious. You stalked him, brought him expensive Whiskey and sweet talked a desperate and broken man into joining your murder organization, showed him creepy levels of favoritism at various points in time (especially coming from you of all people), and had zero remorse when you let his best friend get killed. That's what you've been through.
"Will he blow us up" "Yeah." "Can you override his override?" "No. He and Maxwell handled that. I trusted them." Yes, Kepler. And they trusted you. Now one of them is dead. Let's think about this for a moment. I'm sure if we all put our heads together, we can get to the bottom of this mystery of why Jacobi has betrayed you for apparently no reason.
Is Kepler's back up plan shooting Jacobi? OH MY GOSH IT IS...AND YOU WONDER WHY HE BETRAYED YOU? Kepler, you moron, he's probably listening to this entire conversation. He might be deciding which side he wants to back at this very moment. Now is the time to act really really sad about Maxwell and very very broken up about how you treated Jacobi. Not openly admit that you threw Maxwell's life away to get what you wanted, and that you'd throw Jacobi's life away to save your own skin. Otherwise, Jacobi might just end up shooting YOU when he walks through that door.
"Who is putting your station in danger?" You Kepler. You are doing this.
"For once in your life, shut up" About time someone said that Kepler.
"You're hurt, we all are. But you don't have to kill anyone." Oh Minkowski, I know you're trying but Duck Boy is not in a rational space right now. He's literally trolley probleming you right now.
Okay now Minkowski is going insane. Minkowski stop. JACOBI STOP.
If Kepler was a better man he would shoot himself to end this instead of muttering "this is crazy" at the drama that he is directly responsible for. He really does not know when to keep his mouth shut, does he?
"It's not too late to change your mind." YES MINKOWSKI. TEACH THEM GOOD MORALS. It's never too late. Thank you, finally, someone gets it.
"After everything he's done, after everything you've done?" Yes, and after everything you've done too, Jacobi.
Tell him Minkowski. "I know who you're angry at. It's you. Because you could have backed down but you didn't. We both did. We killed two people. And that's eating you up inside."
I love this so much.
"We kill them. Whatever orders, whatever they did, we did it. That's what the riddle teaches you. However you make the choice, you still make the choice. The blood is still on your hands." "You know what doesn't help? MORE BLOOD"
The cycle ends here! YES MINKOWSKI!
"What will?" Jacobi is listening! Come on Duck Boy. You're waddling your way there. You can do it!
"Twenty bucks says I figure it out first" is this really happening???? Is this really happening???? Please tell me Duck Boy doesn't relapse. I need someone to come to reason.
She never had a bullet. You never had a bomb.
YES, Shut Kepler up! FINALLY the team up we deserve.
I'm glad Lovelace and Minkowski are checking in on each other. And you two both deserve command. You need each other. You all need each other.
Oh Hera. She missed the whole thing. 😂
"What did I miss?" Well, Jacobi is a sort of good guy now (or at least an ally), Kepler still sucks, and everyone forgot about Doug.
Wait. DOUG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
NO DOUG. NO DOUG NO. AT LEAST GO BACK TO THE SHIP AND TALK IT OUT WITH THEM FIRST.
Well that WAS a wild ride. Maybe one of my favorite episodes so far. I can see why y'all were hyping it up.
Episode 54: The Watchtower
Huh. No more pre-episode previews again. And who is this?
Oh Doug. Oh dear. Doug, you poor thing, I'm glad you had a breakthrough but you probably should have talked this through with everyone first.
Doug. Oh Doug. You're the main character and there are a lot of episodes left. You can't just casually throw yourself into the star midway through the season and die like that.
Something is coming out of the star? Reaching out towards, Doug? Oh boy. Well...
...yikes. What is he saying?
Hera is probably listening to this like "oh Doug...Doug what did you do?"
I love how Doug is still talking to Hera. 💕 "Any objections? Good girl." Well that certainly parallels the last chapter...
Wait. Two more stars? Triple star system? That's pretty cool.
Um. What is that? Aliens? ...hopefully nice aliens?
...or not. Oh dear.
...and um. Where is Doug now? Woke up? Woke up from WHAT?
Did the aliens put Doug back in the ship?
Or...is this now clone Doug? I hope not.
Well at least there's breathable air and gravity in this alien hotel.
Mirror? Yeah that is a creepy touch. Considerate, yet creepy.
Self-repairing mirror? Again, cool but creepy. And Doug is prefect for this. They got the movie from YOU MIND Doug. They built this creepy hotel for you, I'm guessing.
And when the alien shows up, I bet it's gonna be one that looks like you or your loved ones given that they used your voice already.
What was that noise?
Are they just keeping him there?
"Let's get our probe on" Doug...they are. What do you think this is?
Yep...alien Doug. Hi alien Doug. :) 👋👽
"Tell me this isn't where I die and you take my place. My dad always said I'd die if I wasn't more careful..." it's alright Doug, I've been told that myself plenty of times.
What?
Words. Speak more words.
Why do they need Doug to speak words?
Ah yes. Mirroring and learning. That's what they want. But why? Why Doug?
Crippled by a language limited by what? Yet achieving interstellar momentum? Uh...what? Symbiological base set of language?
Doug singing the alphabet 😂
DIE????
What is die? The concept is unknown? Oh...oh dear. Explain that it's a bad thing Doug. Explain that it's a very bad scary thing.
"I hate it when Kepler and Jacobi are right" Don't we all Doug, don't we all?
Stops existing!
Incomplete understanding of the universe.
Yes, yes, to dust you shall return, no matter is created or destroyed it simply changes form, but you seem very unnaturally calm about this.
All matter is reused and repurposed. Ceasing from existence is not possible. ...well that's true...but...YOU are something else now. YOU are gone. Something else is in your place now.
Bob. Bob. "Limited time?" "Unsuitable for his biology?" So you DO know what death is. Because you understand that a place unsuitable for his biology = no Doug.
Wait. In the NETWORK? WE? Bob. Are you a hive mind?
"You learned to speak English?" "Correct. It has also lead to debate over whether YOU can speak English." Dang, they really came for him there.
The process? Why are you evaluating Doug?
"Terms you can understand may take some time" Well for super intelligent beings, you should be smart enough to dumb it down.
Don't like that laugh. "A place very very far away from here." Interesting.
"The farthest point away from civilized space"
I see. And what exactly does civilized space look like?
"Discomfort should pass quickly" time is relative, so I hope you're right, Bob.
He gave Doug knowledge? Well, that might be a good way to one up Cutter.
Okay transfer between stars...I'm guessing no, because they didn't use the sun. Huh. I was correct.
Red = no, Blue = go. Well, Bob, sometimes the basics are all you need.
Another species. Rearrange matter? I see. So they are basically aliens with god-like powers that join together to form a superpower.
And they're recruiting humans...but they seem unimpressed so far. Why would they...oh.
They want the music don't they? They've never...they don't have music, but they like it for some reason.
Well then just send them up a band, seems like an easy solution.
Examination, evaluation...surrogates of specimens?
"Unnecessarily dramatic description" "The wolf doesn't even know it's a wolf!" "We arranged atoms" "You brought her back from the dead" "The distinction is irrelevant" Doug, please explain it to them. They really did do Lovelace dirty.
OH MY GOSH THIS IS EXACTLY LIKE WHAT CUTTER DOES TO PEOPLE. Spy on them, and if he likes them, they get to join his special secret club. And if they don't like you...I think we both know what happens Doug. They DO have a concept of death. They just prefer not to call it that.
"Ideally isolation" Well at least they are semi-ethical.
"If they can't be isolated" "redistribution into different atoms" SEE I KNEW IT. They call it redistribution because they can't accept the moral idea of killing people.
"They are given a new purpose." Bob...Bob this is immoral. This is horrifying.
"Terminology is inadequate" his terminology is spot on Bob.
"Our interest in your species is not moral. It is technological" Yeah Bob, I think you made that VERY clear when you said you were willing to kill everyone on Earth if they didn't play nice.
You don't deserve our music Bob. Not one note. Which is...a sentence I never thought I would type as a reaction to this show, but here we are I guess.
They can turn back time, escape death, and traverse space, but they don't have music Doug! Most of their language isn't auditory. They have it, apparently, but not to the extent where they'd develop it.
Commander Zhung...valued the tech more than anything.
Oh. I'd like to have met Commander Zhung (I hope I'm spelling that right). She sounds...she sounds nice if that was her reaction to hearing music for the first time.
"You haven't figured out sound recording?" No, Doug. "The music?" There you go, Doug.
And um...I think the aliens might be more into the oldies and by oldies I mean the classics Doug. The old school classics. Stick to classical music. Not sure they're ready for rock and roll or rap or pop or country.
In time they'll learn more about each other, slowly. Okay...so they have some time. That's good. 14,000 YEARS? Oh no wonder they don't fear death. They live a ridiculously long time. And yeah Kepler is in for a treat.
And then...he woke up.
But um...where has he woke up? Near the star? But where is the ship?
"Everything is completely under control"
Why...why does Minkowski sound like a robot? I mean, she usually sounds pretty strict before she snaps at Doug for risking his life, but the actress sounds distinctly creepy here, I don't like it.
Creepy music? Hera struggling and begging him to run?
Oh no. Oh no no no no no...Cutter and Pryce came didn't they? Oh no...Oh no...
Oh Cutter, you bastard.
And I don't have time to listen to anymore tonight. Or this weekend, or for a while, gosh DANG IT, BUT THAT WAS SO GOOD.
Well, I hope you guys enjoy this. I have a lot of emotions so I'm gonna post this with no edits and scream about it in a discord chat somewhere. Bye!
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mintytealfox · 5 months
Note
God dangit, that Vlad tally mark image you used in your reply post has now got me thinking of an Anastasia movie esque au for Nortalice now that will NOT make any sense! 😅
Like both Orpheus and Alice are obviously raised by her parents and the DeRoss family, and have an almost idyllic childhood together. And then there's Norton in this AU, somehow being a kitchen boy as a young boy for the household, but it's not like he's gonna complain about his position. He has a warm roof over his head, some decent pay, and he could easily help himself to any leftovers that guests left behind, so he could tolerate being bossed around by the adult servants and even being dragged occasionally by a young Alice to be her second playmate to play with her collection of dolls (always tempted to just rip off their heads for their annoying squeaky voices, but refrains from doing so XD) Young! Alice: Yay dolls! ^_^ Young! Norton: Yay... -_-
But all good things unfortunately come to a tragic end when their house is attacked, killing almost everyone inside, with Orpheus and Alice barely making it out without being seen. Norton is tempted to not get involved, but his conscious gets the better of him and aids them in their escape, but not without earning a scar on his arm. Orpheus and Alice proceed to get separated and both losing their memories. Which certainly complicates things when years later when Orpheus is trying to look for her and dealing with imposters. Cue in a grown Norton reluctantly teaming up with Melly, not only for her to regain her noblewoman status after her husband's "death", but to get the reward money. They come across an amnesiac Alice, or Eury, who looks EXTREMEMLY similar to the missing girl and offers to help transport her to Paris to look for her family, AKA Orpheus. Melly helps coach her in court etiquette and Norton finding himself falling HARD for her despite him (I swear, someone put "I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" in a Nortalice playlist XD). Also Fredrick is in there somehow 😅.
But honestly, I think this messy AU is more of an excuse to see Alice in the sparkly opera dress and Norton going 0_0, and Melly going "Ah, an unspoken attraction I see 😏." XDD
BAHAHAHAHAHAA! My master plan has come to fruition!! 🤣🤣 Infecting the mind with NortAlice~
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This is legit so effin PERFECT LOOOOOOOOOOOOLL
Norton: "what are you called?" Alice: "Eurydice." Norton: "Alright, Uranus." Alice: "EU RY DIC EEEEE" Norton: "whatever"
Okay Melly as Vlad has me ROLLING HAHAHAHA I LOVE this so much 🤣 Melly: "I see an engaging and fiery young woman" -rizzing Alice up to give her confidence to go through with this- Alice: "😊" Norton just barging in: "Alright, ready to become Alice or what?" Alice: 😒 Melly:😡💢💢
LOL maybe Frederick is Sophie LOOOOOOOOOOOOL Melly: "my sugar plum..." Frederick: "why must you say odd shi--" Melly: "if you want in on the money you better effin play along"
No FOR REAL 👏👏👏🤌🤌🤌Alice needs to be in all those gorgeous dresses and to be adored AAHHHHHH give that Norton them doki dokis 🤣
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Kwami’s choice is making me want to scream
Ok first half of kwami’s choice is out, kudos for glob for actually not posting the second half first (they’ve been releasing the season all over the place) and this would be episode 10 of season 5
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So finally we have some context on what changed so much in two episodes that Marinette is back with Adrien and forgot completely about Chat Noir, and… THERES LITERALLY NO EXPLANATION!!!
I am telling you, the show legit just makes marinette depressed and crying about her love life again (again, somehow her abandoning all the Kwamis is an afterthought because “love” and not “yeah you fucked up because you refused to treat your partner equally and chose to keep secrets and make dumb decisions on your own and you’re literally digging your own grave”) marinette being “completely in love with chat” for nine episodes was never even mentioned beyond one line, AND ADRIEN TAKES THE BLAME FOR MARINETTE BEING SAD.
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YOU HEARD IT HERE FOLKS THE GUY THAT REFUSED A RELATIONSHIP WITH A CIVILIAN BECAUSE OF THE UNHEALTHY POWER DYNAMICS THAT WOULD RESULT FROM SAID RELATIONSHIP DESPITE HIS EMOTIONS IS THE ONE AT FAULT HERE BECAUSE HE “FLIRTED WITH MARINETTE AND BROKE HER HEART”
…I swear to fucking god, ANYWAYS-
Marinette further digs her own grave with Adrien telling him they could never work and that’s blamed on the “iDEnTItY rULe” (which still for some reason matters even tho it legit doesn’t but ok)
Adrien is almost akumatized by his own fucking father TWICE (the only fucking reason Gabriel didn’t akumatize Adrien the first time was because he didn’t have a fucking alliance) I HATE THAT MAN IF THEY EVEN TRY TO JUSTIFY HIM IM OUT
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And Tikki and Plagg choose to revoke the miraculouses from Marinette and Adrien for them to be togetherrrr.
Now listen, I understand where theoretically this could be a bittersweet, allowing kids to be kids so to speak, but like. The reasoning is driving me crazy
Like the way the Kwamis and show really decided that romance and teenagers dating is more important then the fate of Paris (especially when that entire relationship sucked to begin with and had so much stalking and red flags) but also the way there’s literally no nuance?
Like what happened to Adrien’s entire “chat noir is the only time I truly get to be me and escape from my constricting life” shtick? What happened to Marinette’s… well I would say her commitment to Paris and saving the Kwamis, and also caring about chat noir, but literally none of these end up sticking in the end, BUT THERES LITERALLY NO NUANCE ANYMORE!
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Like the minute the kwamis leave with the miraculouses the only indication we get of Adrien (not even marinette) being sad about not being a hero anymore is his abusive dad saying “his sadness has gotten greater” for a few seconds, AND THEN THEYRE INSTANTLY HAPPY?!
Adrien just rushes to confess to Marinette, and Marinette is suddenly super in love with Adrien, WHICH PROVES NOTHING THAT THEY EVER HAD GOING ON WITH THE HEROES EVER MATTERED?!
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Adrien no longer cares about his freedom or his image OR PLAGG because “oh yeah I have marinette so I’m complete!” And Marinette NEVER CARED FOR THE KWAMIS CHAT NOIR HER MISSION OR ANYTHING!!! These two are suddenly as happy as they ever were with no fucking problems in their life!
While the new heroes (yeah btw Alya and Zoe are the new heroes, it’s kinda bland, Zoe is only there to show how much better she is in comparison to Chloe, and her design IS UGLY) are fighting, Marinette and Adrien don’t even show a glimpse of worry, or paranoia, or even an instinct to go fight or “call the heroes” as they do! They legit don’t fucking care and CUDDLE!
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The show legit said “yeah all these seasons of these heroes fighting for Paris and truly being influenced by their hero lives? YEAH THAT NEVER MATTERED LOOK GUYS THEYRE HUGGING!”
And I would even be ok with it if the show wanted to go down the road of “yeah being a hero is awful and no one in their right mind would ever want to do it but would rather have the messed up compulsion to help others” BUT THEY DONT DO THAT!!! The show is still like “they’re meant to be!”, they’re still heroes in the next episodes, and literally it seems the only reason they’re still heroes in future episodes, is because the new heroes instantly got tracked down! So they have no motive to be heroes, and no compulsion to be heroes and they don’t seem to be affected from their hero lives, so none of it matters!
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There is literally no more nuance or care put into being a hero in this show (the new heroes were pretty much randomly selected teens again, rather then i don’t know, ADULTS? I get that this is a magical girl show, but it would be so cool to show adult heroes handling their emotions and powers better then teens and being role models) and the show legit sacrificed any chance of nuance or character motivation it had for the love square! That’s just bad writing!
But yeah I’m going to go scream into a pillow, call me when part 2 is out
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skz-eunji-dr · 2 months
Text
SKZ-REPLAY
ᵉᵘⁿʲⁱ'ˢ ˢᵉᶜᵒⁿᵈ ᵈⁱˢˢ ᵗʳᵃᶜᵏ 2024 ʲᵃⁿᵘᵃʳʸ
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Badmómz | 바트모스
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Eunji., yeah, you know the name
Teen-queen like Margot Robbie
Way better, trendsetter, that's why
Bitches sound like me from last year
Top lit before the record deal, (yes)
Top three among all the rappers here (hmm)
Top two when it comes to sex appeal
After this year, I'll be the best right here (ya)
Came from the bottom with a mountain of debt
Where there were no digits before the decimal set
From a fringe group, no ass-kissing
No manager's son, no one I'm missing
None of you made me big (no)
Only posted about me out of fear
Bitches waiting for my verses, yeah
Brought new flows for these dogs to hear
Rappers diss my ass, yeah
Don't even know their name, yeah (yah)
Done nothing in ten years, yeah
But now they're trying to bring me down, yeah
They have my number, why talk behind my back with my A&R's
Creating scandals 'cause they can't do it by themselves (yah, yah)
But don't even think about messing with my dream (no, no)
Mama's in an Audi 'cause of these lines (yah, yah)
Writing until my sister looks up to me
Until Mom gets a house after this struggle, you see
I've been too nice for too long
To all those bitches around my ex, it's all wrong
So, I don't close my eyes at night
'Cause the enemy was sleeping in my bed, all the time (yah, yah)
Yesterday, just a few lines on random beats on Instagram
Today, I have to move, too many fans at my doorframe
It all happened fast, but I know God has a plan
Writing this after four times number one in the charts (Charts)
Look where we used to be
No money for electricity, empty stomach
No more sixty-hour weeks, I swear to Mum
Warned them all, not making this album for me
This album ensures nobody forgets us, you see
Make, make, make
Make some trouble, I'm up for it
Drop one song, it's lockdown, feeling legit
Since the first, everyone's kissing up
Do me a favor: pull your head out
No features for fame, yeah
Not just a track for the playlist, yeah
Your respect is just fake, yeah
You and me, we ain't the same, Sis, yeah
Middle finger shots to my landlord (you little jerk)
Buying Mom a seven just 'cause of your envy (you little son of a bitch)
Middle finger shots, if you think I don't deserve it
Stay bad, stay forever hidden banger.
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misano17 · 1 year
Text
I’ve had this idea rattling around my head for a bit:
poly Eden little mermaid au.
Jun is the little mermaid.
(Long text post ahead)
Hiyori is his bestie and potential future boyfriend lmao. He’s also one of the sea witches attendants, so ehe.
Ibara is also one of the sea witches attendants.
Nagisa is the sea witch.
There is no prince.
So Jun really doesn’t want to be a mermaid, mfer met some gamer guys by the shore one day and decided he fucking hated being a fish man. Ya know, ostracized for associating with humans, infatuated with humans culture in a society that shuns it and also eats humans, not fun for Jun.
His only real friend under the water is Hiyori. Sad for Jun tbh, really sucks buddy.
Anyways Nagisa is getting kind of jealous of this Sazanami guy that’s hanging around his Tomoe. + Hiyori hears Jun’s plight and recommends that Jun gets help from the sea witch.
This combination will not end well for Jun.
So Jun goes to sea(haha) the witch.
(Nagisa and Ibara discuss their little evil scheme beforehand, without Hiyori cuz lying and keeping stuff from your partners is really cool guys I swear.)
Nagisa hides his form from Jun during their deal cuz it factors into his evil little scheme.
Anyways the deal is that Jun must find his true love in three months and get them to kiss him before his time is up, or he will turn to sea foam. Not looking good for a guy that plays league. True love for a gamer, haha, very funny Nagisa. It would have been more merciful to just rip his pancreas out and turn it into mince meat.
(Also no mermaid form for him during this time, once he surfaces he will lose his tail and his ability to breath underwater)
Jun surfaces by the beach house his gamer friends have been chilling in and calls out to them. Natsume, Sora, and Makoto are pretty fucking psyched to be able to let Jun play on a home console now instead of a handheld. (RIP to the Xbox they managed to drag onto that beach with 18 extension cords and a small television, it fucking rained about five minutes after and that bitch got fried)
Also Jun has one of those Barbie movie necklaces, it has like three pearls on it. The pearls are each a different color, one’s white, one’s light green, and the other is magenta. HUH I WONDER WHAT THOSE COLORS MEAN. Jun just thinks it’s an ugly necklace <//3 but when he tries to take it off it feels like lightning is shooting through his extremities and his nerves are being put in a tub of boiling water, so he leaves it on. His gamer friends think it’s a countdown cuz like “Oh, three months”. Natsume thinks otherwise.
Natsume is so fucking smart. Love him for that.
Anyways Jun doesn’t really know how to look for his soulmate or whatever so he just doesn’t <//3 he legit goes “Well, living up here with my real friends for three months is better than living down there miserable for the next seventy years, so I’d rather die here with you guys.” And his friends are understandably sad about this but they accept his words.
Hiyori, who was listening from the little porch next to the beach house cuz ehe, this house is on the goddamn water front, gets real fucking pissed, cuz like “excuse me, real friends?” And “Wait, did Jun just say he is going to die? That is not the deal Nagisa and I agreed to give him, I will not stand for this.”
So he calls out to Jun when his gamer friends leave the house for the day (The house is like their queer little man cave and summer hangout spot but it’s got a kitchen and a few bedrooms so they let Jun crash there.)
As soon as he has Jun alone he is fucking pouncing.
Mfer gives himself legs and struts right up to Jun, who is just trying to enjoy a nice dinner of, whatever it is that Sora left for him. (Hiyori is a sea witches attendant so he has a bit of magic, just enough to change his own form)
Anyways they have a talk and Hiyori really doesn’t get anywhere but they do agree to keep hanging out for Jun’s last three months even though Hiyori is super pissed about it.
After they hang out and Hiyori tries human foods and decides he fucking hates them they share a tender moment and Jun comes to a few realizations about where his soulmate might be but decides not to voice it, Hiyori goes back to the sea.
Nagisa is in for the verbal berating of his life. Holy fucking shit.
After Hiyori’s trounces Nagisa’s evil plan in the market place of ideas (He convinces no one, least of all Nagisa to stop his plan and instead spurs Nagisa on to send Ibara to drive a wedge between Hiyori and Jun)
So, this does not go and Nagisa intended.
First of all Ibara’s meddling doesn’t work.
Hiyori and Jun end up kissing after Jun shows Hiyori around the human town and Jun jokes that this is like a date, and Hiyori decides now would be a great time to see how kissing another man feels when there isn’t water between his lips. The green pearl starts glowing.
Jun is like, “wait, holy shit, does this mean I’m a full human now, I got my true loves kiss :):)”
So Hiyori uses his magic to check, and “Oh, uhm, you’re still a mermaid.”
“What?”
“The seal isn’t complete, you have more than one soulmate.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Jun is not pleased.
Ibara does not know all of this.
So Hiyori kind of sort of tricks him into thinking that Jun hasn’t received a kiss yet, and makes Ibara act rashly, cuz Hiyori knows that Ibara takes any information he is given and formulates plans off of it.
So Hiyori uses the fact that he seems possessive to make it seem like he’d be really upset if someone else kissed Jun or stole his first kiss.
Ibara ends up spending time with Jun to try and make the whole thing seem realistic cuz he’s gonna “Steal Jun from his true love and make him lose the deal”
Bitch catches feelings, Jun also catches feelings, two of the pearls are now glowing.
Jun has two boyfriends now, and so does Hiyori, and so does Ibara. Their communication is on point.
Anyways, Nagisa gets involved.
I’ll continue this more later, I’ve already got all of it in my head I just need to get other stuff done tonight.
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bringcal · 3 months
Note
what is your hot take on neurodiversity
what does this even MEAN!!! x3
Y'know what most of the asks I've gotten are jokes so im taking this and spinning it in a way that probably had nothing to do with what you actually meant by this
I just think a lot of people on here have unchecked biases against mentally ill people.
I'm focusing a lot on the 'weird factor' when I am talking about this, because I feel like it goes so much deeper.. when I say 'weird factor' I am talking about people who's behaviors make you feel 'weirded out' or 'uncomfortable' even though they're not actually doing something truely 'wrong', Mentally ill people who don't fit your box of a 'good mentally ill person', thus you treat them differently.
It's like there is a silent but rampant thought process where to be a 'proper' or 'good' mentally ill person, you have to pretend you are not suffering, your neuroticism cannot negatively effect your friendships or other people in any way, and it has to fit in a box of stereotypical understanding of specific disorders.
People hate the 'weird' on here and I truly believe that sometimes it's because they dislike mentally ill people they don't understand or refuse to understand, So they target and wait any second for anything they can concretely hate them for.
I'm talking about people with low empathy, people who are asocial, people who act in risky ways, or other behaviors and traits that are disliked by most people or are associated with more stigmatized mental illnesses.
It's not something I do often now, but if you followed me for a very long time you know a lot of my old art tackles traits I've struggled with that have to do w mental illness, as well as just general dark topics that had to do with trauma and effects of it thereafter. I've come to notice people hate that shit so bad. It's fine if you're not a fan of these things in art, but its a whole other thing when you target and harass someone just because they make you 'uncomfortable' and you can't understand why.
my art was for the mentally ill people and abuse victims who related but a lot of people who couldn't relate just saw it as 'weird' and i truely believe weird = bad mentally ill person to them and they just don't realize it. That is my take. You don't even have to explicitly say you are mentally ill to be seen as mentally ill, you'll just be labelled 'weird' instead and people will try to do anything to get an actually legit reason to justify them thinking youre weird. weird = bad to them.
But it's the same once people do have labels to work with; I've stopped posting about having NPD because people cannot be normal about it. I've learned I make everyone uncomfortable the second I let people know, and even if people reassure that they don't see you as a bad person, they are always expecting it because you make them slightly uncomfortable. I swear the second I make any mistake people turn around INSTANTLY with " I knew it, you're just a typical narcissist ! " and show that they do actually believe npd = bad and npd people always have the upper hand as if they're some kind of kingpin bogeyman who are ticking timebombs. If i make a mistake and they don't know I have npd? I get met with a regular ass response you'd give to anyone else like reconciliation and/or further discussion about it.
I also get like, tons of hate for having DID, I delete any weird anons or hate anons I get but a lot of them are about the fact I have this dissociative disorder.
and Listen, I'm not saying you're not allowed to dislike people, you cant ignore people who make you feel weird (in fact this is much better than harassment for no true reason) or if people weird you out its an inherently bad thing, but I am saying ... is the person weird or are they actually just mentally ill and you're picking up on it and hating it, and are you trying to harass them just because they're 'weird' and weird = bad to you?
This was really shittily written out, but yeah hopefully it makes some kind of sense to someone :'3
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tinstarbby · 4 months
Text
Tintin and the Cigars of the Pharaoh
Ok so Ik I’m not one to really make a typed blog post but imo I just really wanna let out my review so far about this game
And honestly it’s not even like a story wise problem, so far it’s all mostly technical
So firstly is the graphics, tbh the graphics for the game are alright since I see they’re lowkey going for a look similar to the film but still stylized , the shading could be a bit better and lighting but again that’s just imo
Next is the mechanics of the game, the game just kinda throws you in there without fully explaining the controls, not only that but it immediately bombards u near the beginning with QTE which ig is balanced out with no big punishment other than starting the sequence over still even so it’s a WAY too much for it to be at the very beginning with multiple buttons used in the sequence.
I personally want to note a moment where I was stuck in a part where you play as snowy and I swear I was there for at least 10 minutes trying to figure out how to exit the area to continue, which I only found out how by opening up the settings and looking at my controls where I found out that snowy could jump then I was able to move on, this might not be the fairest comparison, but I’m also playing Lies a P, a game genre known for its hardships to the player, Lies of p still took the time to explain and go through a route where it showed me the controls on screen and allowed me to practice them.
Controls aside, my main issue with the game is the bugs that I’ve encountered, there have been times where icons pop up even after passing the area that they were in, objects literally disappearing but u can still interact with them, bugs with the cutscenes, and honestly the lipsync in the cutscenes need some tweaking cuz the way they play out is a lil awkward and sometimes out of sync.
Another instance of a problem was were I was playing and it got to a point that Tintin holds a torch and for some reason when you run with it the game just starts bugging out with Tintin, my assumption is that the game suddenly thinks the torch is an object on the area and continuously pushes Tintin back with each move forward, it was quite the bug but luckily it would somehow fix itself after just walking around with it
That could honestly be a soft block if it was worse cuz it’s such a nuisance when it happens
Sorry this is so lengthy and probably rough to read but these are just legit my thoughts I’ve had with the game, like the puzzles are nice cuz it gets my brain working it’s just literally optimizing the game and fixing those technical issues for it, the studio behind making it claim this is suppose to be like a game for newcomers but idk they should’ve at least checked for bugs and such before releasing it
Also this is super small but I don’t like the fact they claim Tintin is 15 in this which tbh his age is ambiguous and this is literally one of the later colored comics which imo at that point he’s at least 18
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saintmurd0ck · 1 year
Note
hey babe hope ur doing well. i've been scrolling through ur nyc posting and... ur making me miss nyc sm i'm actually tearing up. i love. that fuckin city so much idk how to describe it. i know it sounds so fckin stupid and cliche but legit since i was little i wanted to live there.
seeing it in shows and movies when i was little and becoming obsessed with various marvel characters who lived in different boroughs (my main one being matt ofc lol)
and then visiting for the first like a few years ago and staying in the city a long weekend and finding little local places to eat. getting into the residential areas and everything just feels so... right.
you can hear people moving down on the street, you can see the chrysler building from your window, you can hear the ambulances and the construction workers and the trash collectors, you can smell the food the neighbors are cooking when you step out in the tiniest hall and into the tiniest elevator
seeing people talking and yelling at each other from open windows cause these people have lived here years and sitting there eating the best damn food youve had in your life from a tiny hole in the wall place on the edge of china town.
going across the street and down steps into a second hand bookstore where the floorboards creak with EVERY step and the back is literally a shed shoved up to the door taking up most of an alleyway and you just feel so fucking at peace and alive because the city is alive and FUCK
the subway and the architecture and the PEOPLE
RHI the first time i ever visited i was doing all the dumb tourist things and was walking through hells kitchen (didn't even realize I was at the time) and some middle age guy stops me on the street
he has a thick ny accent and starts asking me about my day and if i'm a tourist and what attractions ive visited and hes cracking jokes and acting like he's known me for years and telling me about his wife and hows hes traveled the world and giving me tips on how to dodge random vendors
and he tells me he stopped me cause i reminded him of his kids and he says "oh, welcome to hell's kitchen by the way, best part of the whole city"
and i. i'm so fucking broke im so broke but i swear im going to live there i have to live there i have to
and i thought it would wear off, cause that's what everyone says. the more you visit the more trash you see and the more bad things you see. and you do. i saw more trash and rats and all of that but. it just made me fall in love with it more
everyone's just there, trying to survive and trying to live their lives and i love that. yeah it has it's problems but i don't care. every time i visit i see one bad thing and twenty good things, and twenty-one reasons to love that stupid city even more
anyways let me actually shut the fuck up, ily hun, hope your day continues to get better
i am absolutely over the fucking moon receiving this, ren. i hope you know how much it means to me that you took the time to write all of this out and share your thoughts with me. firstly let me say, i feel like new york city is kinda a city of clichés, but they're all true. it has this... magic to it, and it kinda sucks you in.
when you say everything feels right, i know exactly!!!! what you mean. here i was, in a country i'd never stepped foot in before, over 15 thousand km (9320 miles) away from familiarity, but yet i knew what i was doing. it felt like some kind of puzzle piece had just clicked into place, and it only took me 21 years to find out.
i feel that the thing with new york is, the residents all have the same thing to say. "oh yeah this city fucking sucks" or some sort of variation on the criticism. but at the end of the day -- at the end of the day, they step back and think, "oh yeah, i live here. in new york freakin city." and it's such a bonding thing.
i thought it would wear off too, and after a while you'd just get used to it and everything would be mundane, but it never felt like that. even being back home, back to reality, i'm pining for it. the thing i've stressed the most about going away is that it never was a holiday. it was never supposed to be that. it was actually the chance for me to go there and ask myself honestly: "can i actually live here? would i like it?" and i am so glad i proved myself right.
so yeah, let's get an apartment in hell's kitchen. let's wake up to the sound of traffic and sirens and someone yelling on the street below, then go for coffee where the baristas pretend to care about our coffee orders (until they do). everything's a subway ride away, one way or another. fuck it, let's go on the staten island ferry at three in the morning and laugh about all the people who've paid $200 to go see lady liberty (when they can be doing it for free).
the city is alive, and while it can take and take and take from you, it leaves a part of its magic in your soul. and you know what? i'm fine with it.
the city awaits with open arms...
and i can't wait to go back.
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dragonsalt · 11 months
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(long rant incoming)
Maybe it's stupid that I even care about it and just because it's a different blog doesn't mean people will suddenly agree with me, but over on smr (and just on fr in general tbh) the hate towards dragon and item flipping is so........disheartening. I hate that it's treated as a bad, not-valid playstyle, even though if that was the case, staff would discourage it more. I hate that I feel like I even have to clarify that, obviously, I mean good faith flipping, I'm not defending people who scam newbies for dragons to flip or whatever. I hate that most people seem to just paint good faith and bad faith flipping with the same brush and call it a day.
Anyway I get it, alright, I get that selling a dragon and seeing it flipped instead of going to a "loving home" is perhaps a bummer if you weren't expecting it, but that's where it should end!! Not your dragon anymore, time to move on! But nah, it's treated as a perfectly legit basis to block that person and complain on a salt blog about them. Like how about instead you consider that if you still care so much about that dragon, why did you sell it? Why is it any of your business at all that the new owner is trying to make some profit off of it? You got the money you asked for, if you feel like you should have asked for more, ask for more next time. It's really not very haha funny or original anymore to go to a salt blog to be all like "lol good luck selling that dragon at that price looool" about it. Don't sell if you're not happy with the dragon's potential fate. And don't tell me that you don't really care; if you didn't care, you wouldn't waste time posting about it on a salt blog.
And flipping items, especially MP items, is also considered such a crime. And yeah it's annoying to have to pay more for an item if you want it right away because MP is not stocking it, of course it is. But it's treated like some kind of moral failing for the flippers, and often compared to irl scalping! It's treated like staff never intended for MP flipping to be a thing and that the flippers are a genuinely bad, anomalous group of players who need to be chased out. It's treated like MP items sold on the AH with marked up prices actually belong rightfully to the players who "need" them right at this moment, for their precious uwu projects, and that flippers are evil for daring to try and make fake money off of that "need". They're being blamed when the limited, random stock in MP is the real problem, but I guess it's easier to point fingers when the target is a person. I swear someone on smr even said something about MP flippers needing to burn or something equally bad, and then tried to double down when told that it was too far. Like how can they believe they're "better" than the flippers they hate so much?
And honestly, respect to flippers, I rarely see them complaining about the backlash they get from butthurt users. Compared to the amount of crying from people who hate flippers, the flippers themselves almost never say anything and continue on doing what they do. I guess it takes a strong ass mind to use flipping as a source of income, because if you're easily affected by people getting mad at you, you wouldn't last long. Like me lmao. I'm sure many of you who hate flipping are thrilled to hear that I tried for a while, but stopped because of the way I was treated over it. :/
Genuinely it feels like everyone can happily agree that "if an item or dragon isn't on your account, and it wasn't stolen from you through some bad faith method, then you don't get to decide what happens to it", until flipping becomes a topic. Then suddenly it's okay to get mad over pixels that aren't yours. The dragon you sold isn't yours. The item that someone bought from the MP to resell on the AH isn't yours and never was. "Speaking out" against flipping is just thinly veiled entitlement. And yet, saying that is like talking to a brick wall and probably forever will be like that. Well. At least I got to shout at a brick wall about it for a bit
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zumpietoo · 2 years
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This was posted by Milly0439
If she upgraded why are they still stuck on Cole? They been shipping Lili with every person she interacted with and now that she has a man, the only time they speak of him is to compare him to Cole lmao.
2. They're using the "I'm glad he with that ugly b*tch" to convince us they aren't butthurt because Cole moved on. If otherwise, they wouldn't make up shit to get everybody to hate on her and spam her posts with bs.
3. Have they seen Milo?? 😭 I love pets but that is one ugly ass dog.
4. Lili looks like she could switch roles with Madchen atp.
5. How would one know this information about a celebrity who doesn't share this type of information...
6. We all know if this was the other way around (Ari dating her acquaintance's bf) it would be a weekly topic.
7. They love twisting your words
8. Not a dick print is seen on any of the photos they share of Spencer half naked.
All of her fans are jobless lunatics who spend more time on these blogs hating on him and everyone who isn't kissing Lili's ass the way they do. They swear her career is going to take off, she's in love, etc. But be more focused on what her ex is doing instead of supporting her... when Maria was here it was all about trying to get him cancelled for the abuse allegations but now they're just keeping up with his life like they're watching a reality show.
OML...hilarious.....Dylan's house is being renovated and why is it terrible that Ari's visiting her family? Just because PP has a horrible rustbelt trashfam and avoids them like the plague doesn't mean Ari does. She has a loving, classy family...and look how quickly and deeply Cole integrated...
Ummm....there are sooooo many pics proving Cole has a huge D, it's something PP herself routinely alluded to....and SHE'S the one who clearly doesn't know how to top or give a massage...
I legit hadn't bothered with any of them in quite some time and, honestly, can't say I missed it. They're sad losers inexplicably obsessed with Cole and me....
I have better things to do (and I include taking a dump as being superior to their bullshit)
Also, nothing to indicate (other than Bazzi and Damon, who both admit to their struggles, etc---so don’t be a dick) Cole’s friends are “all drug addicts”, plenty to demonstrate PP is one, tho....
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icharchivist · 1 year
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Your reblog reminded me of the time years ago (2018? 2019?) when I saw someone on twitter say that lancelot/vane was queerbait and I just stared at my screen like that tails meme because I couldn't believe what I was reading
Oh my goddddd
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i'm so tired i swear i'm so tired of those things oh my god. oh my gooooood.
I've seen legit Queerbaitings, like, the ones that are from Markettings to the audience fooling us into watching straight shit. It's its own very nasty thing that is different from ship tease and i wish people would understand that.
I especially hate when this framing is attributed to mobage of the type of granblue because it's usually down to the DNA of the game that they're doing that. They usually can't exactly confirm stuff (unless they have to make a big story around it) because they use it also to "tease" self insert shipping with those characters.
They're trying to appeal to demographic that cares about shipping other characters together AND those who ship themselves with the characters in question.
As such i find it especially to be a bad faith critic to call it queerbaiting. Whenever you find this approach tasteful or not, it's mostly a brand of fanservice, but you're expected to know it when you interreact with it.
Queerbaiting is the cast and crew and marketting looking at you directly telling you "don't worry we'll totally give you rep those two chara especially are totally going to be rep for you" and then it never happens. like i'm thinking about the trailer for Riverdale that showed a lesbian kiss without context, so you would be intrigued, and then you watch the episode and you learn they only kissed to try to shock the audience in a staged show, and the person they did it in front of literally calls them out about how "girls kissing isn't as shocking anymore you know". and then the two girls involved in the kiss move on to flirt with guys they end up dating the rest of the show instead. Like. That's textbook Queerbaiting. It doesn't matter that this show has rep, it doesn't matter if ship are teased left and right, it doesn't even matter that they kissed for shock in the episode itself, what matters is that the promo was saying "hey, there's rep for you <3" and then you watch and you realize it's a lie.
There's a subtle line sometimes with just, implied romantic connection toward the show that is then never resolved, which imo, can count or can not count, depends really on context, but even there it gets more blurry (and it also is good to take into account that queerbaiting =/= queercoding from a place where they're not allowed by the studios to go this direction).
but for Mobage i'm really uninterested with any discussion of queerbaiting since imo it feels like people are genuinely refusing to engage with the fact the game is requesting you to interreact differently with its characters than you would watching a TV show. Not all media consumtions come to the same effort.
But also i should mention that the context of the post i reblogged is that people are now using "queerbaiting" to refer to real life people and that's genuinely horrifying, above any fandom petty discussion on it.
This post refers to the fact that the lead actor of Heartstopper, a TV show focusing a gay couple between two teens, was forcefully outed on twitter after people harrassed him for "queerbaiting" everyone by "pretending to be gay on TV while he's likely straight irl" and therefore he's.... baiting people by acting??? somehow???
Even if he was straight this attitude would be unacceptable, but what resulted was that this 19yo was so exhausted by the harassments and bullying he had to come out on twitter.
No real people owe you a coming out. No real people are queerbaiting you. Queerbaiting is a specific media framework you cannot use on people. Real life people don't gain anything by pretending to be queer. People involved in this harassments campaign better be ashamed of their behavior because this is vile.
And in general i'm really annoyed with how specific media analysis/critic framework are being used as means to specifically interreact with real life people while removed from the media analysis context. People are doing the same with Death of the Author which is annoying me to no end but that's another can of worm.
But the Queerbaiting thing is genuinely hurting people and i'm genuinely so angry at those people.
so, yeah, i say it again: i am begging people to learn what words mean. You're just diluting what useful expression mean and make them lose their impact and it is becoming exhausting.
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witchboychan · 2 years
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Betcha could substitute your ward with a Magic Cylinder trap card too.
TW; Too much swearing and insults for my own good
Okay lets all take apart this persons personality till we shatter their ego into heterosexual glitter (also known as sand)
Your trying to say something either funny or offensive but your covering it up with an anon so i can t fight back or retaliate in any meaningful way. You think i ll just see this and delete it and cry myself to sleep at night because you think i m a little bitch. Momma didn t raise no bitch.
Your trying to say something hurtful but you decided to go anon. Why? Can t take responsibility for your actions? If you actually mean what you say do us all a favor and prove it. Show us your face. Show us your account. I dare you. If you do it i ll post a selfie and out myself as a witch to the world. I will do it, unlike you. So come on bro.
A ward is basically a large shield from negative energy. The magic cylinder trap card can basically take energy and fire it back. So the magic trap card is not a ward by any definition of the word. If you did at least 3 seconds of googling you d find this out, but lets be honest you only use google for the incognito mode so you can find some rule 34 of my little pony without disappointing your mother for the 10th time this week.
I actually can use that card for something, just not a ward. Since the card is energy going through one cylinder and firing out of the other, with a bit of effort i can make the card like an uno reverse card of sorts; i can make it fire back negativity and whoevers trying to hurt me.
I m a nerd okay, i got way to many pokemon cards, i enjoy fantasy games with an absurd amount of lore, i love dungeons and dragons, skyrim is my comfort game, i love anime, but i legit had to google what you were refering to. That card was so obsure i had to google what your neckbeard ass was talking about. Please go touch some grass and talk to actual human beings face to face, hopefully you won t scare them away with your Exploud lookin ass (no image will be provided so i suggest you get your lazy ass up to do some googling, this will be practice for the next time you need to talk to someone about a subject you know nothing about.)
I currently have 770 followers. Thats not alot in the grand scheme of tumblr. This dude had nothing better to do so he scrolled on tumblr for who knows how long, trying to find someone with asks open, and decided to harass them. This sad sack doesn t have a job and has nothing better to do then bother someone whose most likely half their age. Because lets face it mostly spoiled 30 year old white neckbeards who live with their mom act like this.
I m very sorry to hear your parents didn t give you enough attention when you were a kid and that your so hateful and bigoted you can t let people who aren t even that different live their lives in peace. You must stay in your moms basement a lot and have been spoiled rotten to throw a tantrum and behave this way.
I highly recommend some shadow work, a vibe check, and lots of theraphy.
Grow the fuck up
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