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twisted-wonderland-shenanigans · 3 months

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Hi! Recently I became curious about how ancient people hunted in the world of TwistedWonderland.🧔🏹🦣

If they didn't have magic in Monster Au, they used their wits and ingenuity. Animal hunting and fishing🦣 🏹 🐟. Pits, a stone maze so for catching fish and cattle.

You can see the reaction to the methods and techniques of trapping characters.

Don't mind me trying to work my way into a good groove and answering asks in my inbox 😅

It’s simply amazing what human ingenuity can do to get a task done, especially when it comes to surviving out in nature! Throw these craft humans into a world of monsters and magic, and you pretty much have what most epics and legends in our world describe mythical creatures and feats of strength. 😆

Once Yuu arrives in Twisted Monsterland, they may start seeing old paintings depicting clashes between humans and monsters. Ranging from spears and swords mistakenly melding into flesh like malformed limbs and claws to wearing leather and gleaming silver armor mistaken as insectoid carapaces, it’s no wonder humans were used in stories to scare little children into being good. These ancient humans looked positively monstrous—perhaps even more so than any monster in existence. Perhaps that is why so many were both terrified and confused as to why this scrunkly of a creature calling itself a human didn’t even match the few surviving paintings from a bygone era.

Pair that with the stories told on how ancient humans would hunt for food or built traps to capture monsters and comparing that to how Yuu looks? It’s easy for the monsters to brush off these abilities of magicless humans as being anything more than just mere fantasy or exaggeration. There’s simply no way a human can build traps and webs like spider monsters, create fire that lasts for days without smoke, or chase their prey for days on end without breaking a sweat!

Turns out, those myths are more true than the monsters realize. Especially if their resident human just so happens to have survivalist training under their belt…

///Camp Vargas///

“Uh…why are you digging a hole in the ground?”

“Making a fire pit.”

Ace glanced at Yuu as they continued to shovel more dirt out of a relatively large hole. “So…if you’re building a pit, then why did you make a smaller hole right here?” he asked, pointing at said opening in the dirt. “And if you’re building a fire, why aren’t you making one above ground? Are you trying to bury it or something?”

The shovel broke the last of the dirt wall between the holes before Yuu straightened up, gathering several long branches they’d collected with several large cuts of logs and starting to set them up at an angle. “Oh, I’m still building one above ground. I’m just making two different ones.” Pointing at the hole they’d just dug out, they said, “We call this one a ‘Dakota Fire Hole’. Typically this one is used for outdoor cooking, since it produces little smoke and doesn’t need a lot of fuel.” Setting some sticks and tinder inside the larger of the two holes, the took a piece of flint and began striking it with a stone. Soon a small yet hot fire was blazing inside the hole, just barely licking the air outside of the hole before settling down into a steady flicker. “The second hole generates airflow, which keeps the fire fueled with oxygen so it’ll burn longer.”

“Then what’s the other one for?”

“A self-feeding campfire.” They began loading chopped logs on both sides of the now V-shaped structure they’d built. “It uses gravity to drop new logs to keep the fire going, which means it’ll last all night. Pretty handy so you don’t have to keep getting up to replenish the log pile!”

One ear lowering in confusion, Ace stared at Yuu as they struck up another inferno on the bottom log. Somehow the fire didn’t crawl or spread to the rest of the logs. “…how exactly did you learn this?” he finally asked.

“Survivalist training. Why do you ask?”

Snap! Twang! “Fynaaah!?” Fwoosh!

“Uh oh. Grim! I told you to stay away from there! That’s where I set up the snare trap.”

“Why did you set it up so close to the tent?!” the chimera yowled as students stared in shock and surprise.

“To keep away intruders.” A sudden cacophony of clattering and clanging rang out, followed by a startled mix of a canine yelp and deer-like squeal before a thud hit the ground. “Epel! Are you okay?!”

“What is this?!” the einfield snarled, twisting and trying to untangle himself from the string of empty cans and bells. “Git it offa me!”

“Hold still, or you’ll strangle your wings! Ace, could you get Grim down for me? The snare hook is on the ground behind the tree on the tent’s left side.”

As Yuu went to free Epel from the new contraption—which Ace heard them comment was their ‘alarm system’—he shook his head in confusion and disbelief. What was even happening? Did Yuu pick up some strange trick from one of the spider monster students when he wasn’t looking? “I’m not taking another step until you tell me what other traps you set up,” he finally called out, warily looking around for more strings and rope near his large rabbit feet. “I don’t want to get tangled up in anything like those two did!”

“Oh don’t worry, I didn’t have time to set up any other snares or alarms yet,” Yuu called out, carefully freeing Epel’s arm before working on freeing the rest of his body. “You’re safe, so long as you-”

Shoof! “WAH!?!” a familiar loud voice screamed, the sound echoing so far that it reverberated through the trees. WHUD!! “Urk…HUMAN!!! What foul trickery is this?!?”

“…oh, right. I forgot about the pit trap I dug earlier,” Yuu said as multiple eyes stared at them.

“Why in Twisted Wonderland would you need to build something like that?!” Riddle all but shouted once it sank in what just happened.

“Hey, if a bear comes rampaging around the camp because you guys aren’t putting your food away, don’t come crying to me if there’s no pit trap to keep it busy!”

Needless to say, after everyone was rescued, no one could fathom how Yuu learned such archaic—if frighteningly deceptive—trapping methods for a camping trip. It wasn’t until the last night of Camp Vargas that they understood why when the remaining students used the trap to buy themselves some time from the “beast” before running to the swamp.

/-------------/

Now of course the defensive traps were pretty impressive, Ruggie had to admit that much. But traps that catch fish with little to no effort? Even he was impressed by the speed at which Yuu was able to harvest so many fish in one sitting, and with a simple stick and twine “fence”? Let alone the basketful of fish they’d caught by hand after making a shady spot with a tarp propped over the water!

“Sure, I could use a fishing rod if I wanted,” Yuu commented as they continued whittling away at the tip of a sturdy branch. “A net would also come in handy, but since we’re going to be here for a short time, I wouldn’t be able to make a decent one to use it effectively.” Jabbing their carving knife over at the fire pits they had dug earlier, they added, “Besides, if I don’t adapt and use what I have available, then I can lose out on a good food source and my chances of survival are slim to none.”

“Huh. Yeah, that makes sense,” he agreed, the leucrocuta looking between his catch and Yuu’s. The human’s collection was quickly catching up to Floyd’s, which was surprising since he’d stopped earlier due to boredom. “This came from that survival training thing you mentioned earlier, right?”

“Mm-hm! I can teach you a few things I learned if you want.”

“Shehehehe~! Sounds great! Just one question though: what’cha making? Some kind of walking stick?”

“Oh, this? It’s going to be a spear.”

“…spear?” The word sounded vaguely familiar, though he couldn’t quite place why as he tried to examine it. It didn’t look like anything he’d seen any other monster use or make before. “What’s it for?”

“It’s used for different things, like defense or attacking.” Cutting a few more chips off, Yuu stood up and examined their work. They had whittled one end of the branch to the point it was needle-sharp, a sight that weirdly sent chills down his spine when he looked at it. “I made this one specifically to go spear fishing. Here, I’ll show you!”

As they walked into the water, he expected the human to immediately strike into the water like they had when they did the shadow fishing. However, they simply stood still, eyes locked onto the water’s surface with the spear raised over their shoulder. He watched in silence, instinctively knowing that Yuu was hunting for their prey yet not understanding how this would work. Suddenly, they tensed, their shoulders tightening as they raised their spear higher in a smooth motion. For the briefest moment, he swore he saw the human with the needle-sharp arm in his history book instead of Yuu, his heart leaping in his throat at the vivid imagery. Before he could react, the spear was sent flying forward-

Splosh!

And struck the riverbed, Yuu immediately rushing forward to grab the upright tool before pulling it out. To his shock and utter amazement, the spear had pierced the body of a large trout, still flopping even as Yuu carried it back to shore with a triumphant grin on their face. Their smile faded to one of concern as they asked, “You okay, Ruggie? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Chuckling nervously, Ruggie uttered, “Uh…you could say that.” A ghost of the past maybe, he thought as he picked up the baskets. “Hey, uh, why don’t we go ahead and cook these? I think we’ve got enough!”

“Oh. Sure, sounds good. Oh! I know a few tricks to preserve the meat for later!”

“Great! Just…do me a favor and not point that spear thing at anyone, okay?”

////////

I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more that could be said or done, but you get the picture. XD Hope you all enjoy!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland monster au #twst monster au #ace trappola #epel felmier #sebek zigvolt #riddle rosehearts #ruggie bucchi #I seem to use Ace to react to Yuu's weirdness more often than not and I have no regrets 😂

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brandnewhuman · 2 years

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BEHOLD THE MALEWIFE

Again

♡ part 2 of random hc ♡

☆ starring ☆

König aka my beloved giant unfairly underrated and overlooked

Tw: mature language, mentions of anxiety, tiny bit of angst like you have to squint really hard

A/N: first i have to thank @bloodlst for giving me so many ideas and for dealing with me and my endless rants about this absolutely scrunkly babe. I SHOULD BE DOING REQUESTS AND YET HERE I AM WRITING FOR A MAN I'VE KNOWN FOR NO MORE THAN A WEEK OR SO. Media is ruining my chances at a normal relationship fr ANYWAY ENJOY

Listen this fucker is the definition of disney Prince when he gets comfortable enough around you

Everytime he talks about his s/o instead of saying you're his he says that he's yours

He feels like it's not as intimate and accurate as he really feels around you to say that you're his

And BTW he brags about you and your public displays of affection to everyone and anyone

Bro has not an ounce of embarrassment in showing he loves you and you love him

He's so charming and smooth but with that sprinkle of awkwardness that makes him ridiculously adorable

He is quite literally a gentleman and worships the ground you walk

In general he's very respectful and lovely with everyone

That's why he tends to like make people crush on him

Which he totally doesn't notice like ever, this man can and will think they're just being overly nice out of pity

He is literally so good at dancing, like it's almost annoying

One could think that him being so tall would make him really stiff and awkward when dancing but he's not

He's as graceful and elegant as ever

Is the only time he gets confident and shows off a little bit his physical appearance

He definitely prefers more elegant dances like waltz and tango ecc

JUST IMAGINE, JUST IMAGINE WHAT DANCE THE TANGO WITH KÖNIG WOULD DO TO YOU.

He has a really hard time at being funny cause he always worries that maybe his jokes are not obvious enough or that he's just straight up not funny

Like he has a shit ton of puns and jokes in his head but says none of them cause he doesn't really knows if people will get it and it's scared of coming off as weird

Most of the jokes are dirty jokes BTW, this man is an absolute child and is making deez nuts jokes left to right inside the confines of his really strange mind

Has really large hands, like not quite big but really long fingers and they're slightly crooked AND EVERYONE WHO HAS LONG FINGERS CAN CONFIRM YOUR FINGIES GET CROOKED

ALSO ALSO when he buys a new phone he doesn't even cares about it being good or not

BRO BUYS THE BIGGEST FUCKING PHONE EVER. HE HATES SMALL PHONES WITH ALL HIS SOUL

He has premature grey hairs. Like he has starting to get them when he was really young

Which ends up in him always having to dye his hair

He loves to go to get groceries

Like he actively gets excited about new products or new things to buy and overall he just enjoys how relaxing and calming is to go to the supermarket

I feel like he's one of those people who are really good at card games like poker ecc

He either ends up broke af cause everyone is merciless with him or he's unbelievably lucky and ends up winning every hand but doesn't takes the money cause he feels bad

It really depends on the day

With board games tho he's definitely a sore loser

Like have you seen how pissy and sarcastic he gets in the game sometimes? You can not tell me this man doesn't hates losing at monopoly

Me and my fellow könig simp @bloodlst have come to the conclusion that he has an involuntary resting bitch face

The fact is that as I said before he clenched his jaw almost always due to anxiety which makes him look like really scary but insanely hot

The moment you make him smile tho it's like you're witnessing some sort of shapeshift witchery

HE HAS THE KINDEST SMILE EVER

He has gone through the most traumatising injuries ever but never seems to notice (?)

Like he has big ass scars in his body and when someone asks about them he tells the story all chill as if he's not talking about him getting fucked up in every possible way

and he like never realises how serious his injuries are in the eyes of everyone else so he's always so confuse as why everyone looks so concern

He chooses his words wisely cause he values the meaning of certain words and doesn't likes to use them lightly

Like he tries not to tell his s/o I love you too lightly or too much cause he wants the phrase to always feels as special as it is for him and not something you said just because

And about that when he's arguing with someone he never says anything he does not mean

That means he will say 100% the truth even if it hurts

That doesn't mean that if he realises he's wrong he won't apologise

He will and will genuinely own his mistakes and take responsibility without using excuses

Like I said before könig is not one who gets angry easily

He has unwavering patience and deals with things very rationally

Like he is used to people treating him as if he was dumb, bullying him and just overall making him feel like bad about his anxiety or himself so it's not surprising he can handle people bring arses very well

He gets upset but always hides it really well

When he does gets mad tho he is going to make you cry

Any filter or shyness goes away and he just snaps and gets really mean really fast

Mean because although he's being honest, he's particularly brutal about it and says things as harsh as possible

But like I said is really hard for him to get that angry

The most that one can do to him is force him to politely excuse himself to go somewhere else and cry it out

He's a really sensitive person and most often than not he just gets sad, he won't stay sad for long but when he does he feels like absolute shit

The things that make him go absolutely apeshit is mostly when people mistreat his loved ones or when people take advantage of someone weaker than them like they used to do with him

When he was younger he used to have a lot of anger issues

He used to feel frustrated all the time with how unfair everyone was with him because of his anxiety

Never got into physical fights but would end up snapping and saying really hurtful things to people he loved

That's why now he tries to be careful with words

He's very proud of the person he has become in some way

He has come a long way and now he's a healthier person than he used to be

He forgives but never forgets even tho he's not the type of person to use past mistakes against someone

He just keeps in mind the thing that had happened and if he doesn't sees any change then he just acts consequently

Hates mint flavour beverages or ice cream and can't understand why people enjoy it so much

I don't know why but I feel like he grow up with his grandparents

He absolutely loved his grandma and used to call her almost everyday

When he buys clothes he doesn't really care about the brand ecc he likes to buys what makes him feel confident or good

Not even what others might like or stuff like that nono

He just buys whatever his funky brain finds pretty

And surprisingly it leads to him having a really good style

#könig cod headcanons #könig #könig cod #könig cod mw2 #könig x reader #codmw2 #cod #cod mw2 #call of duty mw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty

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darthstitch · 2 years

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Professor Mysterious and Professor Wet Cat

This is my take on that Dreamling post making the rounds about Hob and Dream being uni professors and that Hob is surprisingly NOT the prof who overshares and Dream is the one who inadvertently does.

Buckle up, kids, let's have some fun with this. Also, gentle reminder: NOBODY TELL NEIL. SHHHH!

This time around, Hob's using his proper name, Robert Gadling, because it's been a while since he's trotted that one out and he kinda likes the seeming rightness that the once upon a time near-illiterate medieval peasant that he'd been was now teaching at a rather prestigious university. However, he's not prone to sharing much about his personal life to his students. He's still warm and friendly, but he's cautious about letting Certain Things slip.

Hilariously, the things that do slip end up making him everyone's favorite university cryptid. Sometimes Hob slips into Middle English when he's stressed or emotional. Sometimes he might use odd old-fashioned sounding oaths like "God's wounds," "Holy Jesu," and "Mother Mary's teats" (this last one sends everyone into spasms of laughter).

The literature department ADORES him because they can always drag Professor Gadling off to read Chaucer in its original form or even medieval French, his pronunciation perfect and dead on. Shakespeare is the only thing he'll flat out refuse to read because in any universe this Fuzzy Blue Alien's gonna write, his hatred of the Bard is the stuff of legend.

The students universally agree that Professor G is basically British Indiana Jones, because he's also known to have lethal expertise in medieval weapons. There's been more than a few fantasies inspired during the booked-solid outdoor demonstrations where he works in tandem with the other medieval history professors to show everyone how medieval weapons worked. Apparently, his favorite weapons are the longbow, the bastard sword and daggers.

Obviously, this all leads to Professor Gadling being the campus crush and his relationship status is a matter of hot speculation even if he's made it perfectly clear he was not about to violate his ethical standards or position as a teacher. It still doesn't stop the fevered fantasies of more than a few grad students, though. But that's all they're gonna get.

And then, there's the new literature teacher, Professor T. Murphy.

To everyone's disappointment, Professor Murphy is only going to be at the university for a limited series of lectures. Word of mouth spread fast, and his classes were now booked solid and he was going to be asked to return, once his apparently very busy schedule is cleared.

7. Of course, he's an instant campus crush, with the "Goth angel" looks, the Edward Cullen jokes are definitely flying and there's more than a few students melting after they heard him speak. "That Voice" is always referred to in capital letters and it's well deserved.

8. "Campus crush" turns to "Official Precious Blorbo" once the students all discover that behind the whole regal and imperious Goth Prince vibe that he gave off, was an adorkable darling wet cat who was just completely gone on "my beloved." If he's discussing a love sonnet or poem, there's definitely going to be a reference to "my beloved" or "my dearest" or "my love." It's never sickeningly cloying and the sweet tiny little smile that takes over his normally serious face is like sunshine. The kilig feels are real.

9. He's also forever worrying that he's not enough for "my dearest" as he's rather painfully aware "of my lack in human graces" - which everyone translates to "OMG HELP I HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS OF A SCRUNKLY WET CAT." He frets that he's somehow failing his beloved, who is infinitely sweet and thoughtful and caring and that Professor Murphy is the selfish one, really, who doesn't deserve the man.

10. The students, of course, immediately ADOPT him. Tesco ice cream runs are done, YouTube videos on cooking and invites to kitchens are extended so Professor Murphy could practice making something that is "not a catastrophic culinary disaster unfit for human consumption." There was a session on the language of flowers, which everyone had enjoyed. For a while, flowers with significant meanings were presented to sweethearts and lovers all over the uni. There's an unforgettable after-class meeting in which the craft-inclined students teach Professor Murphy how to knit and crochet and he was really rather proud of the scarf he had created.

11. Professor Murphy's raven had been rather entertained playing with the yarn scraps. The students learn that the raven's name is Matthew.

12. And then, dashing, mysterious Professor Gadling finally peeks into Professor Murphy's class.

"The things I do for you, myne owne hertis rote. Bloody Shaxberd."

"But you do read him so very well, my love." And there it was, that tiny, soft, sweet smile, now aimed in Professor Gadling's direction.

Professor Gadling sighs and puts a hand over his chest. There's a very familiar scarf draped over his neck. "God's wounds, dove, warn your poor, long-suffering husband before you do these things."

"What 'things,' dearest?"

Professor Gadling waves his arms helplessly. The scarf slips a little, offering a tantalizing view of a purplish mark on his throat. "That thing!" He looks appealingly at the students, who are now all stifling their delighted giggles. "Look at him! My heart can only take so much!"

And that was how everyone found out that Professors Gadling and Murphy were actually happily married.

Incidentally, the Shakespeare reading, in which both professors took part, was a true kilig apocalypse. Instant campus legend.

#dreamling #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #dream x hob #professor dream #professor gadling #i crack what i want #history and literature class cryptids #pffthahahaha #shhh nobody tell neil

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haunted-headset · 1 year

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WILBUR BEING ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH YN HIS WHOLE LIFE SINCE THEY WERE LITTLE BUT YN JUST HATES COUPLES AND STUFF AND SAYS THAT SHE WILL NEVER FALL IN LOVE WHEN WILBUR IS AROUND AND HES JUST SAD. BUT YN ENDS UP SLOWLY FALLING FOR HIM AND KISSES HIM FIRST.

I LIVE FOR BOY FALLS IN LOVE FIRST STORIES

☾ I Wanna Be the One That Makes Your Day ☽

Summary: Wilbur Soot friend-to-lovers headcanons but his friend obviously doesn't want to fall in love

author's note: i'm so sorry i couldn't think of a story for this! I'm really burnt out today so I just made a headcanons list! The title was inspired by a song called Best Friend if you were curious :D

pairing: school!bur x gn!reader

pronouns used for reader: You/yours

tags: @vibestillaxxx@joviepog (lemme know if you want to be tagged in the next one in DMs!)

warnings/cw: kissing, reader sort of turns down Wilbur but not really?

genre: fluff/slight angst

You two had been friends since forEVER. He would probably become your friend because he saw you sitting alone at lunch or something in elementary school & he thought you were pretty/handsome & you seemed cool

He never mentioned anything about romance to you until you guys were probably like 14 & he finally had the guts

↑↑ "So, uh, anyone catch your eye?" he asked. You made a fake throwing-up sound. "Romance is boring," you replied. "I'm not in the mood to fall in love, to be honest."

↑↑ he is officially depressed. Crying himself to sleep while listening to Olvia Rodrigo's breakup songs. Venting to Tommy 24/7 & just being like "TOMMYYYYYY Y/N WILL NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH MEEEEE"

He tries to hint to you a few times that he likes you, but you never notice, so he gives up. He tries to date a few other kids at school, but none of them were you. & he was like "oh uh maybe i should just y'know magically become aroace & then all my problems will be solved" (he's such a stupid, hot, scrunkly little boy)

One day, you kind of notice that Wilbur is...cuter than usual. Yeah, he was good-looking, but you were never attracted to him until today. You just wanted to kiss his lips off, make him run out of breath...

BUT he's dated other people & seems like he doesn't like you so you just say nothing

↑↑ fast-forward to the future when you guys are like 27 & you're roommates & you are oh so very madly in love with him & it pains you to not tell him.

↑↑ "Wilbur?" you said one night as your heart raced. You were typing on your laptop before bed. "Yeah?" You closed your laptop, got up, & kissed him. You didn't think, as usual, but you just knew that this felt right. Then you pulled away like nothing happened & went to your room.

↑↑"...Y/N WHAT-" Wilbur ran to your room.

You two may or may not have made out for the rest of the night <3

#wilbur soot #fanfic #wilbursoot #creative writing #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot fic #wilbur soot fanfiction #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur #wilbur soot fluff #wilbur soot headcanons #wilbur soot x reader fluff #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur soot x you #wilbur x reader #wilbur x you #dsmp wilbur

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kuroneko1815 · 1 year

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The maze scene but make it silly and with innuendos

Because I always make fun of Callisto being the one to instigate the silly, I want Penelope to do it this time. This came about after re-reading that scene when they first meet and I thought… what could she say differently that was just so silly. With help from @eloise175, also… we really shouldn’t be left alone together.

Callisto holding a sword to Penelope’s throat looking menacing and mocking: Why do you love me? Go on, tell me why you fell in love with me?

Penelope: Because you’re shiny!

Callisto freezes in shock: Shiny? (He’s been called many things, most of them weren’t good but never shiny!)

Penelope thinking back to her reputation: I like shiny things and your hair looks like spun gold and your eyes look like rubies.

Callisto: ??? (Just stares at her, sword steady and level as he tries to process what happened.)

Penelope internally: Oh thank god, I can escape now. (Tries to back away subtly but is foiled.)

Callisto: What else?

Penelope thinks back to all the stereotypical western teenagers and in Korea from her world and time, all those things she studied to fit in with her new classmates at university: You’re hot.

Callisto: I’m what?

Penelope: You have a handsome face and probably a fine body under those clothes from all the training you do. It makes me drool just thinking about it and I want jump you. (Penelope in her mind: maybe I should just die, it would be better if he killed me now.)

Callisto: … (Callisto.exe has crashed; please reboot)

Callisto tries to save face: It seems more like you’re in lust with me, rather than in love.

Penelope: Is there a difference right now? I haven’t talked to you, and I’ve only seen you in passing. Love and lust are the same right now.

Penelope: Also, your voice is fine and smooth like butter.

Callisto: I don’t understand?

Penelope: It means I like your voice, it’s nice and seductive. (Penelope eyes possible exists and just keeps saying things without thinking them through.)

Penelope: You’re such a babygirl

Callisto: Did you just call me a babygirl? (Now he does feel some indignation)

Penelope: Yes I did, you know, you’re so good looking I just wanna take care of you. You’re so scrunkly.

Callisto: What does that even mean? I think you’re just making up words.

Penelope: Scrunkly, an animal or creature that’s weird or unorthodox but still so cute.

Callisto: Did you just… just call me an animal?

Penelope: Well, if you’re an animal, I think mating season has come. (Penelope is dead, very dead. She can feel her soul leaving her body with each word she says and yet she can’t stop. Still, she’s resorted to dropping innuendos in hopes that he’d be so weirded out that he’d walk away without killing her.)

Callisto is shook. He knows the adopted daughter of Eckhart was crazy but not this crazy or wanton… and yet… it was appealing and exciting.

Penelope gestures to his pants: Well, I don’t much care for the sword at my neck, but you can definitely pierce me with the one down there any time. Think of me like something to conquer. (Abort, abort, abort. She thinks desperately. Shut up.)

Despite her wishes, her mouth keeps moving, and not towards rationality, it just prolongs her torture. Death by beheading wasn’t so bad, at least she’d stop talking.

Penelope: If someone asked me what I wanted for dinner, it’s you. I’m so hungry, I want a taste.

Callisto eyes her in shock. These were not words that should be coming out of a Lady’s mouth, he didn’t think he’d ever heard phrases come out of anyone’s mouth before. It was bawdy without actually being too vulgar. He wants to be offended, he really does, but…

Penelope: Please? I’m thirsty, can I have a sip? Just a sip, please? I promise I don’t bite… much. (Penelope internally: Can I turn on that damned game system now? Please?)

Penelope: If we got stuck in a closet, one of us would be walking out pregnant, and it wouldn’t be me.

Eventually, Callisto lets her go, too surprised and shook to actually process everything, especially the last part because that wasn’t possible at all, unless she was a powerful mage. And Penelope leaves no worse for wear, except her dignity, that died a traitor’s death.

BONUS: The Cave Scene: Or Callisto gives his rebuttals because you can damn well know that he’s not letting this go and it’ll live rent free in his mind. And she’s avoided him when he tried to press her for more coherent answers, had even neglected to reply to him.

Penelope waking up in the cave: GAHH!!! Why are you naked? (Covers her eyes)

Callisto: Why are you covering you’re eyes? You wanted to see what was under my clothes anyway, and I hope it doesn’t disappoint. You certainly didn't.

Penelope: You… you shameless pervert.

Callisto: Oh? I'm the pervert now? What happened to the audacious woman who kept saying such filthy things to me to seduce me?

Penelope stares at him with a look of disbelief.

Callisto: Oh? How could you be so cold to me? Aren’t I scrunkly? Aren’t I your babygirl?

Penelope: … I'm going back to sleep.

Penelope can't actually sleep and keeps having flashbacks to it, Callisto hugs her, and tells her the story. And the conversation proceeds the same. Except instead of asking her what she liked about him…

Callisto: So, is your assessment correct, Princess?

Penelope: What?

Callisto: Is my body as 'fine' as you thought? Am I really that hot?

Penelope without thinking: Yes (Realizes what she said and blushes and buries her face into his chest and then almost dies of embarrassment when she realizes what she just did)

Callisto: It certainly seems like it based on how you're reacting.

Penelope: …

Callisto: My sword is ready for the piercing and the conquests.

Penelope bites her lips unable to say anything because he’s responding to everything she’s saying. She realized he’s pulled the ultimate reverse uno on her, and weeks after the fact too.

Callisto: Are you hungry? We can have a small snack if you want. But why stop at a sip and a taste? Let’s make this into a full meal!

Penelope: …

Callisto: Perhaps my voice alone can get you ready, we’d need to mop up after we’ve spilled our drinks.

Penelope admits to herself that he does have an amazing voice. But she’s still refusing the temptation. She wants to live thank you very much.

Callisto: We’re both still overdressed it seems. We really need to read the invitations carefully. This cave has a zero clothing policy.

Penelope tries to shut him up, when he stops her from slapping him, she kisses him which was the wrong move, or maybe it was the right one? Because it eventually devolved.

Callisto when they finally stopped: Respectfully, Emperor Claudius himself couldn’t pull me out of you. (Callisto thinks of his famous ancestor, an accomplished general, who had a story about a sword in a stone who won the throne over his half brother.)

In the aftermath, Penelope would wake up in a tangle of limbs, naked, and very well ‘conquered’ by the Crown Prince. She also gets to live, survives the game and all. And… exactly nine months after that night, a little dragon like girl was born to them. They named her Judith.

But Callisto, the new Emperor had one last thing to say to his wife as they hold their new born later not even minutes after she’s handed to them: Well, it wasn’t exactly locked in a closet, but I wasn’t the one who walked out of there pregnant.

Penelope smiles sweetly at him, motions for him to come closer so she can kiss him. He leans forward eagerly, closes his eyes. Penelope taking advantage of it, shifts Judith in one hand and slaps him hard.

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iheartmalewives · 2 years

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idia bf headcanons idia bf hcs idia bf hcs idia bf hcs idia bf hc-

I'm so sorry if i did this request late.. 💔 i was on a break BUT! Im still doing it anyway because I heart Idia Shroud..also this has abit of spoilers

Idia Shroud BF HCS

Gamer boy <3 | Angsty with Fluff

Gender neutral reader

IDIA SHROUD is the type of boyfriend who'd treat you like you're fragile. It's not like he sees you as a weakling (well kind of since you dont have any magic powers), it's because of the fact that he doesn't want you to end up like his brother before. So expect this man to act like a nervous nagging mother. He'd definitely go "s-stop doing that, you're gonna get yourself killed!".

And it's worse when you're a reckless risk taker, his soul will literally fly to the heavens itself because of how you're always putting yourself in danger.

Definitely the type to spoil you with figurines and etc if you watch anime! Oh you want a hot scrunkly reigen arataka figurine? He's got you. He's willing to buy the most expensive one out there!

He's the type to get insecure when he sees another person flirting with you. Yes, he is your lover but that person still has the chance to snatch you away from him! He's not having it!!

He's not really into PDA since it makes him embarrassed. He would literally BURST if you kiss him in front of a person, though... He secretly likes it.

Couple cosplays... Is a yes for Idia Shroud!

The type of boyfriend who suddenly asks you a random question at 3 am

"why do you love me"

"idia shroud, we have school in the morning."

"... why are you avoiding the question huh?! 😠"

Yes he's cringe during the relationship. I headcannon that he would literally blurt out lines from a romance anime because he doesnt know how to flirt. And yes, you know the anime. But it's cute anyway so who cares?

Expect that Ortho shroud will always come looking for you. Ortho would be the type to embarrass his brother, especially in public.

"my brother missed you!"

"wha-?! I didnt!"

Over all, Idia shroud is somewhat boyfriend material and you cannot tell me otherwise.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fluff #twisted wonderland angst #idia shroud x reader fluff #idia shroud #idia my beloved #idia x reader #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud x reader angst #ortho shroud

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hyperfixations-and-hecticness · 2 years

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I hate when they change like vital plot points of a book to fit in a movie. I mean, first of all the iconic F outfits. The Circus of Talents. We lost Princess Uma, a bad bitch if there ever was one. Anyway thoughts below but I can’t add a read more on mobile so sorry. Spoilers obviously.

Thoughts on the School for Good and Evil movie

Good

- The design and aesthetic of all of it was beautiful. I mean like everything was elegant and stunning and just visually incredibly pleasing.

- Sofia Ann Caruso is a great Sophie, she’s cringey and mean and overdramatic. She is the love child of Megamind and Regina George.

- Also Theron and Washington made great professors.

- The Tedros had a cool sword, iconic dumbassery, was pretty and also had cool fits which is how I like my men personally.

- Sophie and Agatha’s friendship at the start was super natural and well written.

- Soman cameo.

- I loved the little addition of Professor Anemone previously being a history teacher. It was just such a nice little touch to the world building and her character.

- The inherent creepiness of the casting for Rafal. I mean I always imagined him looking like a teenager but him looking like he’s in his twenties and trying to claim Sophie as his child bride really adds that extra layer of ickiness.

- Literally everything with Gregor Charming. An icon, a legend, he is the moment.

Bad

- Sofie Wylie is a good Agatha but they wrote her so blandly. Also like where was the initial awkwardness? We deserved bitchy goth loner Agatha. And like it would’ve been cool if Agatha was more conventionally unattractive. Like no hate to Sofie Wylie she’s absolutely gorgeous but it would’ve been nice if she did have that whole thing of yeah people don’t think she’s pretty but then her personality begins to outweigh that.

- Where the actual everloving fuck where Anadil’s rats? I was promised little rats. I was robbed.

- Why were all the Ever girls such bitches? I mean like passive aggressive? Yeah sure. But they were outright bullies.

- The plot change of Rafal purposefully letting Good grow complacent and vain. I think it’s more interesting when you have Good who genuinely have grown complacent without the manipulation of true evil or whatever. It adds more weight to it.

- The Circus of Talents was iconic and we deserved to have the wolves and fairies reveal.

- The blood magic? I mean like what? You have regular magic, no deus ex machina necessary.

- More development between our girls and Teddy. Like I love him being a pathetic little scrunkly but it felt like everything happened in two days. This may have been better adapted as a show considering it’s meant to be covering a whole year of school.

- We deserved hot pink finger glows.

- Lack of iconic book characters: Princess Uma, Castor and Pollux, the Golden Goose, the little pets they had, Anadil’s rats (yes I’m bitter), the librarian dude whose name I’m forgetting, he has Giles vibes, the seer, you know the dude.

- I wanted to see Hort’s frog pajamas.

- The actual explanation for the nemesis stuff like in the books.

- Where was the witches/Agatha friendship? Sophie betraying Aggie to avoid going home? Dovey caring about Good?

- More mean Sophie. Give the people what they want

- It felt so queer-baity. I know the book three twist but like it was just annoying.

Edit - Also the iconic line ‘I’m worse than my father. Because I still love you.’

All in all it was a fun movie but having loved the books as a kid I felt like they didn’t really get done justice. Two and a half hours wasn’t enough to cover the whole story adequately in my opinion.

#school for good and evil #sge sophie #sge movie #soman chainani #agatha of woods beyond #charlize theron #kerry washington #lady lesso #kit young #sofia wylie

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mamawasatesttube · 1 year

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“I know, I know, I’m stuck with you. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” please!

"Thanks for coming on such short notice." Dick both looks and sounds harried, Bat-comm in hand as he ushers Kon in from the balcony. "I'll try to be back as soon as I can, but you never know with Arkham breakouts—also, there's some leftover chicken soup in the fridge, if he can keep that down it'll be great, and—yes, B, I'm on my way, I heard you the first seventeen times—sorry, Conner, it's a bit hectic, but—"

"Hey, man." Kon gives him a reassuring thumbs-up. "I got this. You go do your thing and let me wrangle the poor sickly scrunkle, yeah?"

Dick pauses on one leg, one shoe on, the other in hand. "The scrunkle?"

"Tim," Kon clarifies. "You know, 'cuz he's scrunkly."

"...I see," Dick says, not sounding like he particularly sees at all. But there's no time to explain; he flashes a quick grin, fires off a two-fingered salute, and calls one more "Thanks again!", and then he's gone.

Kon cocks his head and waits.

After seventeen seconds, the jingle bell he stuck to the outside of Dick's bedroom windowframe on his way in chimes, and he snorts to himself as he superspeeds right on over to the fire escape outside.

"Predictable, Rob," he says, lounging midair. Tim, staring at the bell in his hand with great prejudice, scowls; the effect is rather ruined by his adorable hot pink bird-printed pajamas. "You definitely have a fever if you fell for that one."

Tim folds his arms over his chest and glares at him. Coughs. Glares some more. "I don't need a"—cough, cough—"babysitter. I'm not that sick. Dick's just fussing."

Kon eases himself back in through the window, closes it against the night air, and presses his lips to Tim's forehead, ignoring the way Tim splutters. He's cute when he gets grumpy. "Mmm, well, that certainly feels like a high fever to me!"

"It's only a hundred and one," Tim mutters. And coughs again. Christ on a bike, he really sounds like death warmed over. The red flush to ohis face really isn't helping things, either.

Also. Christ on a bike? Really? Sheesh, Kon's spending too much time with Ma's friends on Bingo Sundays.

"Mm, yeah, so we're getting you back in bed," Kon informs him, and plucks him off the ground, sets him on his hip like the world's most disgruntled toddler, and carries him back over to Dick's bed, where he's clearly been being fussed over already, if the box of tissues, empty mugs, and cough drops are anything to go by.

"I'm not that sick!" Tim protests. Kon sees right through him, though; his wiggles of dissent are weaker than usual. "I can help. You heard Dick earlier, it's all hands on deck—"

"Which is why, if things get particularly dire, Dick already said he'll call me in," Kon says, and draws the blankets up over Tim's chest. "Seriously, Rob. The others have it in hand. And I," he grins, cupping Tim's face in his palms, "have you in hand."

Tim favors him with a very flat look, followed by a very pathetic sniffle. Oh, jeez, Kon wants to bundle him up and feed him soup and fuss over him forever. "Ha ha."

"I know, I'm hilarious." Kon squishes his cheeks before letting go. "Now, I'm gonna go get you some soup and your next dose of meds, and you're gonna stay right here in bed and not try any more escape attempts because you know I'm gonna catch you and bring you right back. And we are gonna watch your choice of 'Wendy', 'Star Trek', 'Star Wars', or 'Lord of the Rings', until you inevitably knock the fuck out because you are sick as hell, dude, and I do not mean in the Tony Hawk way. Got it?"

Tim heaves a weary, put-upon sigh that just sends him into another coughing fit; it sounds rough and scratchy and painful just to hear, and Kon winces in sympathy, leaning over to rub his back. Aw, Tim...

"I guess I can live with that," Tim rasps, his eyes watering. Kon is seized by the urge to kiss his forehead again, properly this time; he wants to take care of him so bad.

"Good! 'Cuz you don't get a choice." Kon gently ruffles his hair, eases him back against his pillows, and then tuts softly to himself and strokes the hair back from Tim's sweaty forehead. His poor Rob...

"Yeah, I know, I know. I'm stuck with you." Tim sighs again, closing his eyes. After a moment, though, he smiles ever-so-slightly, his eyelashes dark against his pale cheeks. "...I wouldn't have it any other way."

That's gotta be the fever talking—it's true, and Kon knows it's true, but Tim wouldn't just say it like that—but it makes Kon's heart flutter all the same.

He leans down and kisses Tim's forehead before he can lose his resolve. "Right back at'cha, Rob," he says, smiling. "Now lemme go get you your soup."

"Good luck," Tim mumbles, opening his eyes just slightly. "Don't fall in, have fun, et cetera..."

Kon laughs. "Will do," he says, and stands to leave.

(It's not until he's waiting in front of the microwave that he realizes: since the moment he left Tim's side, he's been—quite literally—walking on air.)

50 Prompts About Devotion

#timkon #tim #kon #rimi writes #huilannie #tim: is sick. dick: Come Here I Will Make You Soup. tim: oh you dont have to thats ok-- / dick: I Was Not Asking.#also nudging my dick & kon agenda forward again ever so slightly. but its mostly kon fussing <3 love kon getting to be a mom friend <3 #and also them both being stupid and pining a little. but mostly its about the mom friending

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the-kr8tor · 3 months

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Hi Katy 🫂 hope you're doing better pookie! I bring Hobat because Hobat means giggles!

What if the first time you two met was as a bat and a human? Hobie was just flying around but of course you'd had two wall length glass doors to your balcony, so he goes face first onto it, falling like a rotten fruit to the floor.

The sound startled you, and the black form at your feet, but when the groggy bat looked up... wasn't it just so cute? And it had earrings!? It must be someone else's pet!

So you take him in, knowing it's just a fruit bat and a pet, you're safe right? You first check him for injuries, the poor little thing still dizzy from the hit, you coo apologies for the reflective glass, promising you'd take it off soon.

With no injuries except for the harsh hit, you chop off some fruits you had to feed the little thing, who accepts it gladly. Hobie? Oh he's having the time of his life! Got scratches, pretty words and delicious fruit from the pretty you!

And it goes like this for the night. You prepare him a spot to sleep, but your hands seemed warmer, so he just stares at it before burying himself further into your hands.

You almost think this bat can understand what you say.

The results? You're peacefully in your slumber next to a bat who's sleeping with mouth open and belly up.

Yay more hobat!!! I love the fuzzy scrunkly bat 😍

Aisbwisnwisnshwujs!!! SO FREAKING CUTE!!

Omgggg imagine you wake up and he's not in his bat form anymore and there's this (really hot) guy on your bed who eerily looks like the bat you took care 😆

#ask answered #hobie thoughts #hobat 🦇#🫶🫶🫶

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tired-biscuit · 10 months

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So dogs apparently sleep majority of the day… I think it’s 8 hours plus the 8 already from sleeping… so imagine constantly tired Kiba 😩 who always want to nap by his fav person

i consider him a morning person but i do like to think that he’d love afternoon naps, so i need him to look sooo scrunkly! just him padding around your home in nothing else but his underwear and with the messiest bedhead and a vivid red blush coating his cheeks; sleepily rubbing his eyes while he searches for you.

he finds you in the kitchen and immediately drags you back to bed. tucks you in so that you’re nice and cozy beside him and then just pulls you super close and cuddles you to death. like nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck or your chest as you run your fingers through his hair, murmuring pure gibberish into your skin before he dozes off again.

he wakes up the moment your scent grows fainter because that means you’ve left the bed again!

also, i think sleepy or simply sleep deprived kiba would look so hot tbh. his drawl gets more prominent and his voice gets deeper and he’s way more chill and relaxed and just unbothered about things than he normally is. his eyelids are heavy and his irises are darker than usual and he’s warm all over. he tends to stretch when his limbs are heavy and tired; lifts his arms up and holds onto the top of the doorframe until his t-shirt lifts and you can see his toned stomach and the dark happy trail… yeah.

#biscuit mail

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mintytealeaves · 1 month

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Autumn!

I’ve been wanting to do this for a while so enjoy this little Factventure yuri prompt! I thought of this the other day when a guy flirted with me in a bookstore— he was nothing like Tristan! He was just kinda awkward Writing under read more! also yeah the Picrew is what Claire (or fact) looks like!

“Well if it ain’t the pretty bookstore girl.” Claire cursed under her breath as she heard that stupid voice from behind her. She slowly turned around to see the same guy who had been flirting with her all week. “Hello Tristan.” “Oh don’t give me that sour look…you missed me~” he leaned against the door way with a smirk on his face. “Would you have a heart attack if I said I didn’t? Because that would be fucking great.” “Someone’s feisty.” “I told you already, I’m not into you, nor ANY men!” She huffed and pushed past him, clutching onto her novel and praying she’d be able to get out of this situation.he caught her with his arm and pulled her close to him. “Not so fast baby.” “Hey!” He leaned in to kiss her but someone pushed him away. It was a woman, around Claire’s age it looked, with long brown hair and wearing—a barista apron? This woman looked pretty strong, she definitely didn’t look like someone who worked at a coffee shop. “She was tryin ya get ya off, creep!” Well that certainly wasn’t like the accent of people from around here… The woman’s green eyes were filled with annoyance as she glared at Tristan. “Oh come on, I was wooing her! She would’ve been into it eventually!” “Oh why don’t you just go suck your own dick so you don’t hafta bug pretty ladies! Scat!” He scoffed and ran off. The woman spit at him and then walked over to Claire. “You alright sweetheart?” Claire nodded. “Thank you so much he’s…he’s been doing this for a while.” “Well as long as I’m workin here, I’ll keep him away. Name’s Raina!” “Claire. I come here often but I’ve never seen you.” “I’m new! Just moved here from Texas!” “Gosh that’s a long way…from Texas all the way up here in New York…what made you come here?” “Well, if you want I could make you some coffee and we could go on a walk? I’ll tell ya then.” “Sure! Thank you very much I’d love that!” Raina gave her a sweet smile and they walked into the cafe part of the bookstore. Claire was a little nervous to ask for her favorite since it was so specific but she whipped it up in no time! She even gave it to her for free. She slipped her book into her bag and Raina took off her apron. “Ready?” “Mhm.” She opened the door for Claire and they both stepped out into the crisp fall air. They walked in silence for a little while before Raina took a deep breath. “A lot different out here than down there…” “Must be hot.” “You got no idea sweetie.” She chuckled. “I only knew bout this kinda fall from movies.” “Is that why you moved?” “Nah there’s just more opportunities for me.” “Ohh…” Raina kicked a few leaves. “I just…I wanted ta see more! See more of the world than searin hot fields everywhere. Tired of workin on a farm all the damn time. Also the men down there ain’t much better than here.” “Oh god, I can only imagine.” Claire rolled her eyes. “I only get flirted with a couple times a day now.” “I can’t seem to escape it.” “I noticed. I’ll protect ya if ya like.” “That would be…helpful actually. I’m going to be working at the bookstore, starting next week.” Raina grinned. “Well ain’t that perfect!” She nodded with a blush on her face. “I-I didn’t just drag you away from work did I?” “I mean…I should probably go back. But I’ll see you soon sweetie?” “Y-yep!” “See you then.” She gave her a wink and jokingly, or at least Claire thought it must have been like that, kissed her hand. She watched Raina leave and immediately started running towards her home. She felt happy. No more stupid boys flirting with her! The leaves flew up past her as she ran home, set on reading her book. and not thinking about her new friend—

@scrunkly-week I hope this is good!

#SWAutumn #Yeah I know it was a Halloween prompt but I didn’t have any good ideas for that #I didn’t do Halloween as a kid so I only know the cozy fall #Sorry—

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oh-wow-a-drawer · 1 year

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I love your art!!

Opinions on angelbutter?

Thank you for the kind words!!! ✨💖3💖✨

As for the question, I think I should point some of the things out:

- First of all, the Frostpegg duo has incredible chemistry both on and off set and every scene including both of them just. looks GOOD bc they work together so well and their interactions are something else;

- Secondly, Hot Fuzz is a gay gay romcom. And it works! It's not annoying enough for me to hate the ship, which, to be honest, is rare;

- I am DOWN BAD for the "ah he's so tough and serious but he has a soft spot for the only special person in he life/ ah he's so dumb such a small little scrunkly but so cheerful and so cute" trope *coughs intensely, sliding my sketches under the bed simultaneously*

- simon pegg is a slut and there is no choice for me but to reach out to him with my filthy slutty hands and ship him with the lads;

So,

HF is a comedy, aimed, in general, to make fun of things, but Angelbutter stands out. I suppose Simon&co just went like "what if nick wins a stuffed toy for danny at the fare? oh yeah, let's make them watch movies and fall asleep together! etc etc" - purely random clichés just for fun, but they, in fact, worked! Worked because they fit the story and the characters - Nick doesn't get along with Danny just because they are in a romcom, but because he is naive, easygoing - an unexpected characteristics for Angel as he's used to boring, serious big city policemen(police officers, har har har), because he shows Nick that his job doesn't have to be his whole life, because Danny stands up for him, after all. Relationship is all about sharing the experience and the knowledge.

Someone has pointed out the parallels between Nick's relationship with his actual ex and his relationship with Danny - how different they are, and how much better does Angelbutter work because of how different Danny is.

I think what also works in Angelbutters favor is that they aren't actually canon, so their love line isn't stretched and doesn't look far-fetched or unrealistic - it's extremely lighthearted, as it should be, and it makes me believe in it, because they act like actual people would.

All in all- I love Angelbutter!! They are extremely sweet and boyfriends material, totally on my priority list X3

P.S. i don't draw them mostly bc danny's face is complicated, but these things take time and i'll figure it out >:)

#angelbutter #is #canon

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riddle-me-ri · 2 years

Text

A/N: No real explanation for this lmao just wanted to write something original that wasn't a request lol. This was inspired by a convo on discord about voyeurism and it made my brain go brrr it's Secret Six Hatter cause this Hatter literally saw a group of people nude and decided to get nude with them…I adore him lmao he's just a little dude. The other members are mentioned but they're not super important so it's okay if you don't know them lmao and yes any opportunity to have the Hatters eat out reader I will always take you're welcome rip

Trigger Warning: explicit sexual content, voyeurism (consented to), stripping, masturbation, and cunnilingus

Word Count: 1.7 k

Secret Six Mad Hatter x F!Reader - Just a Peek

One night, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that someone was watching you.

Living in a small shack with six other individuals was no easy feat. Especially when managing who took showers when. You tend to take yours late in the evening when most are in bed.

Much like tonight, you were certain that everyone was asleep…so why did you feel the stabbing feeling that someone was staring you down.

You tried to shake it off as you turned the knob to the shower off. As you pushed back the curtain you grabbed your bathrobe and tied it around yourself as you made your way back to your room.

You heard the nightly activities of your cohorts; Blake pacing his room, Lawton snoring, Ragdoll's murmuring, you don't even want to know the sounds coming from Scandal and Knockout's room…

Hm. No sound from Jervis' room, or Hatter as others called him. He was an interesting inclusion to the team. Some secret weapon supposedly towards a greater opponent you have yet to meet.

Most of him found him annoying, a nuisance. You found the little fellow to be intriguing. Dare you say, cute in a scrunkly and eccentric sort of way. He had his bouts of rhyming, quoting Carroll, an almost adorable fixation on hats and tea.

You sought yourself to at least be acquaintances with the man. He seemed aloof from your attempts at first, but slowly came around, in his own little Jervis ways.

He always made a cup of tea for you, and somehow he remembered how you liked it. It was always hot too, whereas others were lukewarm. He made you hats that you kept hanging on the clothing rack in your closet.

You'll never forget the way his face heated up and his smile widened when you kissed him on the cheek in gratitude for saving you during an ambush…

For a moment your thoughts of Jervis made the feeling of being watched slightly go away, until another shudder raked over your body.

You slowly slipped off your robe, and began looking for some night clothes in your dresser drawer near your bed.

*Gasp*

It was faint, but you heard it.

Someone is definitely in your room!

You snatched up your robe and placed it back over your shoulders.

"Whose in here? I swear to God Lawton if you think this is some kind of joke!"

Nothing. Dead silent.

Mentally, you took a trip down the hall again. Blake's light was still on highlighting his shadow, Lawton you could hear snoring, Ragdoll often murmured in his sleep, and Scandal and Knockout were fucking each other's brains out as usual….

"J-Jervis?"

You heard some shuffling on the wooden floors but not anything vocal. You pinpoint the cries of pressure from the floorboards to be your closet which just so happened to be slightly ajar.

Really? He's spying…on me?!

Even more surprising, why did it not bother you? In fact it was actually super flattering?

What an absolute scamp…

An arousing warmth heated your body, hairs stood on end. You suppose he made it this far, perhaps you ought to give him a little reward.

You turned to face your closet, knowing he's there but trying to play it off as if you didn't know.

You playfully yawned. "I guess I must be hearing things…" You stretched your arms out above your head.

You slowly brought your arms back down. "Although, come to think of it," you giggled. "I don't think I'd mind if Jervis was watching me."

Your hands fell to the top of your chest. You groped and massaged your breasts until your nipples poked through the sleek bathrobe material.

You brought your hands further down, teasingly skipping past your mound and to your knees, before you slowly pulled your hands up, slowly revealing your exposed thighs and waist.

Finally, your hands came back to the knot in your bathrobe. Your body suddenly felt much too hot for the flimsy covering.

You could have sworn you heard another gasp coming from your closet. You smirked as you made your way to your bed. Lucky enough for Jervis, that same bed was facing your closet.

You got on your knees on top of your bed and rested on your haunches. As you continued to rub and pinch your breasts, getting yourself to moan softly at the attention.

You can't even remember the last time you, well, loved yourself but you missed it…not to mention having an audience too.

One of your hands slithered down, down your body. Your middle finger poking through your thighs to your lower lips. You gasped softly as you felt wetness already pooling there.

Huh, voyeurism, who would've thought?

"Jesus…I can't recall a time I've ever been this wet." You whispered, but loud enough for a certain spectator to hear. "I've been neglecting myself for too long."

You spread your knees wider, giving your hand more access to your pussy. You continued to let your finger gather up more of your juices to help lube your fingers.

It didn't take long until you dove your fingers straight into your heated cunt. You surprised yourself at the wanton moan you let out as you finally filled your achingly empty pussy.

Meanwhile as you began stroking yourself, and thrusting your fingers in and out with vigor. Jervis was an absolute mess in your closet.

His pants had already long ago been unzipped and draped on the floor. He was actively rubbing himself in tandem with your fingers. He bit down on his lips trying to refrain from making any more sounds than he previously let slip.

You were gorgeous, stunning…ethereal. You were unlike any other Alice he had ever seen or perceived to have seen. Not to mention you treated him with such kindness and thoughtfulness.

When you kissed his cheek he was a goner, he was absolutely yours and you didn't have a fraction of a clue.

His elation when he first entered your room and saw you actually kept the hats he made and not tossed them like previous people he's attempted to court before.

Now here he was, in your closet about to burst at the seams.

You weren't much further off. You had to lay down on your back as your thighs started going to sleep trying to keep you upright. You made sure he had a pleasant view of you fingering yourself.

You were knuckles deep every time you thrusted your hands back in. You found yourself even lifting your hips up in time and bucking into your hand. Every now and then your other hand went and stroked and rubbed tight circles on your clit, which caused your legs to jerk periodically.

"J-J-Jervis…Jervis…" You moaned, not even realizing if you were just calling out his name cause he was there or if you would have anyway even if he wasn't. You were too lost to think too much about it, but it felt right.

As he heard you moan his name, it caused Jervis to finally reach that euphoric precipice. It took everything in him to not slouch to his knees and to keep his eyes peeled on you.

The ways your knees met as they jerked together. The way you were gasping, almost whining for release.

Jervis licked his lips, he wasn't sure he could hide much longer. He had an overwhelming desire to..to…

You stalled your motions when you heard a door slam against the wall.

Jervis came tumbling out of the closet. He wore nothing but his trademark hat.

"P-P-Please…please, dear, let me…let me…Can I have a taste?"

He was on his knees scooting himself closer and closer to your bed. His hands clenched,

As if you could say no, you reluctantly removed your hands from your lower regions and had them meet at the top of your head. You spread your legs wider.

You never thought to stop and consider whether or not Jervis has done something like this before–

O-oh..oh shit

What he lacked in technique he made up for tenfold in enthusiasm. His nose occasionally rubbed against your clit, as his buck teeth softly nibbled along your lower lips and his tongue lapped into you like a dehydrated dog.

The knot in your gut quickly began tightening again as it had before Jervis exposed himself. You almost didn't recognize yourself being the one whimpering and moaning.

"J-Jervis…Jervis…"

Your legs squeezed his head closer into you as your body broke out in pleasing tingles and overwhelmingly warm vibrations. You continued gulping for air, every now and then mewling at the sensation of Jervis' tongue still licking and tasting your release.

You had to gently push his head away to keep from the slightly uncomfortable overstimulation. At least for now anyway, you wanted to catch your breath first. Not to mention you had a few questions.

Before you spoke however, Jervis began chuckling. "My, my, you taste sweeter than any sugar cube or honey."

That comment should not have made you blush the way it did.

"Care to explain yourself?"

Jervis shrugged. "Explain what? It's quite clear I'm infatuated with you, absolutely adore you! I know it's rude to peek at your most vulnerable state…ah but you see…I was…em…"

"Curious?" You offered.

Jervis' eyes widened and gleamed. "Yes, indeed. You understand, quite curious, yes about the sole lady that's won my heart. And brought forth the most natural feeling of euphoria I've ever experienced without assistance from my hat!"

"Wait…your hat?"

Jervis nodded. "I hypnotize myself, by wearing my hat and looking into the mirror…it's the only way..I felt pleasure…happiness too I suppose."

It didn't seem possible…how could someone be so mischievous yet endearing. It wasn't fair, that's for sure.

"I…I had no idea, I guess I'm glad I can help? When you put it like that…and as I said…I do find it quite flattering."

"Ah, so you did know I was here." Jervis giggled as he scooted over to the opposite side of you on your bed. "Clever girl, how did you know?"

"Well, down the hall I heard everyone else in their rooms. Yours was the only one that was quiet…" You explained as you laid your head on your pillow, looking as he made himself comfortable under the sheets with you.

"Hmm…alluring and brilliant." He giggled again. "You're perfect, just perfect!"

You rolled your eyes but offered a sweet smile. You leaned up and gave him a familiar kiss on the cheek. "Good night, Jervis."

"Good night, darling."

…

"Jervis?"

"Mm?"

"Do…do you sleep with your hat on too?"

"Yes. Is that an issue?"

"N-no not at all just…just wondering."

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