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#Like i don't have a strong personal stance but i have looked into this shit
gaymelie · 1 year
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Awww i got blocked I think that means i won the argument. I don't think they had a good comeback for "bruh I never even argued with your opinion i just said your information is wrong" and yet somehow they assumed i was the idiot here. Like is it so hard to make your point with correct information?
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alwaysmoncheri · 3 months
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𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧
summary: in which best friends, y/n henderson and steve harrington get caught up in their feelings while paranormal activities occur in the small town of hawkins, indiana
cw: fem!reader, I wrote this a long time ago(I apologize for everything cringe), shit writing, first person pov, jealous steve, swearing, billy being touchy/aggressive?, dustin purring, stancy, 2.4k
<3
As I approach Hawkins High School, I take in the bustling parking lot, the scene filled with many students going about their morning. I set my bike on the rack, lock it up, and start to make my way towards the building, my eyes slowly taking in the atmosphere. The sun is shining brightly, the morning glow causing long shadows to cast across the grounds. The sound of chatter and the smell of cigarettes fills the air as I walk.
As I pass the parking lot, my eyes land on the familiar sight of Steve's maroon car parked in a spot. I see Nancy in the passenger seat, both of them engaged in a deep conversation. My eyes immediately catch Steve's gaze, causing my heart to pound in my chest. He's the first to send a little two-finger wave and a smile in my direction which causes butterflies to flutter alive in my stomach. I wave back, my eyes moving to Nancy as she finally glances up and sends a bright smile and another wave.
I don't get very far away from Steve's car when I hear the engine of a car revving. Steve and Nancy climb out of his car and I stand next to the girl. As my eyes catch a black Chevrolet Camaro whipping into the parking lot, tires screeching against the tarmac. I stop and watch in interest, the sound drawing in other members of the student body. My curiosity grows and I wonder who could be making such a dramatic entrance.
A girl with fiery red hair climbs out the passenger side and skates up the road, quickly disappearing from sight as she heads towards the middle school. Meanwhile, a boy about my age, clad in all denim with blonde hair and stunning eyes, climbs out of the drivers side in an almost slow-motion manner, sending all the girls around swooning. He looks around with a smirk, locking eyes with mine and sending me a wink before taking a drag of his cigarette and tossing it away. Glares come my way from the other girls, but I merely roll my eyes and cross my arms, unfazed by the attention.
"Who is that?" Nancy asks with her eyes locked on the boy.
"I have no idea," I say glancing towards Steve, who looks slightly jealous, "But I honestly don't care." I add, walking towards the building.
I reach my locker, unlocking it and grabbing my books before shutting it and preparing to head towards my first class. As I shut the locker door, however, I'm met with the new boy standing there with a smug look on his face. Our eyes meet and I take a deep breath and brace myself for whatever this interaction might hold.
"I saw your pretty face out there and knew I had to introduce myself the first chance I got," The boy says, leaning against a nearby locker while crossing his legs, "Billy Hargrove, and you are?" He says, giving me his hand to shake.
"None of your concern." I retort, attempting to move past him but instead he grabs my hips, keeping his rough hands firmly planted there.
"Feisty, I like it." Billy smirks, leaning towards me, his breath fanning over my face. "So, what's your name?" He whispers into my ear making me shudder.
"Get off me, you perv." I say, trying to push him away but his grip is too strong and I struggle against it. This causes a scene in the hallway as other students watch me squirm against Billy.
"She said, get off." I hear Steve's furious voice from behind me.
Billy surprisingly lets go of my hips, stepping back and eyeing Steve up and down, sizing him up. Steve stands his ground, despite being slightly shorter than the new boy, glaring at him defiantly as he takes a defensive stance. A tense moment passes between the two, the tension in the air thick.
"Oh? And who are you?" Billy spits out with a raised eyebrow, "The poor excuse for a boyfriend?"
"No, I have a girlfriend." Steve says quietly, breaking eye contact by looking down to his shoes.
Billy grins victoriously.
"Then what's the problem?" The boy asks, "If you already got a girl, can't I take this one?" Billy glances back at me, sending me another wink, and I scoff.
Steve's jaw visibly clenches.
"You fuck her on the side or something?" Billy asks casually.
Steve looks up at the boy, fury visible in his eyes as his hand forming a tight fist. I notice this, and not wanting to start a fight, I rush over and grab Steve's clenched hand. I gently push him back and away from the smirking boy behind me.
"Steve..." I say softly as my heart races. I can feel the heat in my cheeks, from Billy's previous comment, "Let's go."
"You better listen to your little bitch, Steve." Billy says, the smugness evident in his tone.
As I gently push Steve away, he stares at the boy with an angry glare, his body tensing as he fights his anger and urge to strike. Finally, after a long moment, Steve lets out a deep breath and we walk away together.
"Thanks." I finally say as Steve and I reach our first class, which we have together.
"Yeah." Steve breathes out, facing me, "You okay?" He asks as we walk into class and I give him a small smile.
"Yeah, I think so."
|☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆|
After class, I notice Nancy and Jonathan walking down the hallway together. I increase my speed and quickly catch up to the two.
"Hey guys," I greet my friends with a warm smile.
"Hey, (Y/n)," They both say in unison, returning my smile.
As we walk down the hall, my eye catches Tina, one of our classmates, leaned up against the wall handing out bright orange flyers.
"Hey, Nancy. Hey, (Y/n)," She greets us both with a smile, handing us two flyers.
"Hey, thanks." Nancy responds.
"Thanks, Tina." I say kindly.
I look down at the paper in my hands, hesitantly. I immediately notice the little ghost holding a beer bottle in the corner.
Tina's Halloween Bash
Come and get sheet faced.
"Oh, could I get one more?" Nancy asks the girl.
"Yeah, sure." Tina smiles brightly, before handing Nancy another flyer.
"You're coming to this." Nancy says happily, handing Jonathan the extra flyer that she grabbed.
"Come and get sheet faced." Jonathan reads off the paper, giving Nancy a look, "No, I'm not." He says simply.
"I can't let you sit all alone Halloween." Nancy explains, "That's just not acceptable."
"Well, you can relax. I'm not gonna be alone." Jonathan says, and Nancy raises her eyebrows at him, "I'm going trick-or-treating with Will."
"All night?" I ask surprised. Even I'm not going with the boys.
"Yeah." Jonathan says plainly.
"No, no way." Nancy shakes her head in amusement, "You're gonna be home by 8:00, listening to the Talking Heads and reading Vonnegut or something."
"Sounds like a nice night." Jonathan smiles at the girl.
"Come on, Jonathan," I plead, "If I go, will you go?"
"See? I mean, you could go with (Y/n)," Nancy says as we approach her locker, "And if you do, who knows, you might even, like, meet someone."
Suddenly, I notice Steve sneak up behind Nancy, his sunglasses on and a sly grin resting on his face. He grabs her by the waist and lifts her off her feet, making her let out a surprised and delighted squeal. My stomach drops, and I glance over at Jonathan, whose staring at Nancy longingly.
"Oh my god. Take those stupid things off." Nancy says with a bright smile.
"I missed you." Steve grins, taking off his shades as he holds the girl in his arms.
"It's been like an hour." Nancy replies.
"Tell me about it." Steve mumbles before slowly connecting his lips with Nancy's.
I feel a pang of jealousy at the sight. I turn away quickly wrapping my arm around Jonathan's shoulder as we walk away from the couple.
"Hey, are you okay?" Jonathan asks randomly as we head to our next class.
"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask, facing the boy, "You're the one whose in love with Nancy." I comment simply.
"How—" Jonathan starts with wide eyes.
"It's all in the eyes, my friend, it's always the eyes." I sigh, and smile softly.
"Then, the way you look as Steve, surely says something." Jonathan replies with a wide grin.
"Shut up." I laugh lightly, laughing Jonathan's shoulder, "It's not that obvious is it?" I ask worriedly.
"It so is."
I groan.
|☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆|
After school, I head towards the bike rack to unlock my bike. That's when Dustin and Lucas approach me on their own bikes, presumably coming from the middle school just up the road.
"Hey, guys," I greet them with a smile as I hop onto my bike, "What's going on?"
"We need you to come with us to the arcade." Lucas replies quickly when we start riding down the street, the school slowly drifting from view.
"It's an emergency." My brother adds and I glance at them confused.
"What? Why?" I ask, slowing my bike down to a stop.
Dustin groans.
"(Y/n), come on," My brother pleads, "What part of emergency do you not understand?"
"Jesus, when did that attitude of yours get worse?" I mumble before following him and Lucas to the arcade.
When we arrive we quickly set our bikes down and hide behind a car. Lucas has his binoculars in hand, searching for something or someone.
We wait there for a while and nothing seems to be happening.
"Still no sign?" Dustin asks Lucas whose still looking through his binoculars.
"Jack shit." Lucas replies plainly.
"Oh, damn it." Dustin sighs after checking his watch and turning towards me, "Our mom's gonna murder us."
"So go home," Lucas shrugs, bringing the binoculars down from his eyes, "I'll radio if she comes." He finishes simply.
She.
"Oh yeah, nice try." Dustin comments, irritated, "You just want me out of here so you can make your move."
"Move?" I ask glancing between the boys, "You both want to ask out the same girl?"
"That's right," Dustin says with a smile, "And she will not be able to resist these pearls." Dustin adds before purring, showing off his pearly whites. Lucas and I just give him a weird look.
"Ten o'clock." Dustin says quickly, making us turn.
"What?" Lucas asks, confused by the sudden topic change.
"Ten o'clock." He says again, pointing in the direction of the same black car that pulled into the school parking lot this morning.
Lucas quickly brings the binoculars back up to his eyes and we all watch the girl with red hair climb out of the car. She stand there, with her hand on the door, yelling at Billy through the car.
"They're arguing, they're arguing." Lucas says frantically and my brother rolls his eyes.
"Oh my god." Dustin mumbles, "I see that. I don't even know why you need those." He says louder this time.
"God. You're so stupid." My brother mumbles again, before returning his eyes to the scene in front of him.
Billy's face is full of anger and frustration as he drives away and the girl slams to door shut, sending him off with her middle finger.
I mentally applaud her.
She then rushes into the arcade and Dustin and Lucas glance at each other. Before not so stealthily walking towards to window so that we could watch the girl play video games.
"What am I missing here?" I ask, genuinely confused.
"She's new, and her name is Max." Dustin explains simply.
"She's incredible." Lucas swoons over the girl's video game abilities.
"She's..." Dustin starts with a smile.
"Mad Max."
|☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆|
As we ride our bikes home, Dustin, Lucas, and I try to contact Mike through the radio to tell him the news. So far, we've had no luck reaching him.
"Mike?" Dustin asks into the mic for what seems like the fiftieth time.
"Hello, is that you?!" We hear Mike's desperate voice through the walkie-talkie.
"Yeah, it's me, Dustin." My brother says plainly, "What're you doing on this channel, again?" Dustin asks, clearly irritated.
"I've been trying to reach you all day. We were right. Max is Mad Max." Dustin continues through the comms.
"Yeah, I'm busy." Mike says, annoyed.
"But—" That's all Dustin can get out before the line goes dead.
"What are you gonna now?" I ask the two boys.
"We stick to the plan." Dustin replies.
"What plan?" I ask, glancing back and forth between the two. Of course, like usual, I'm ignored.
"Mike's not gonna like it." Lucas says, worriedly.
"Last time I checked, our party is not a dictatorship," Dustin explains, "It's a democracy."
"What if Max says no?" Lucas asks.
"How could Max say no to these?" Dustin says before purring again.
"I wouldn't." I mumble hoping my brother doesn't hear.
He does.
"Hey, you're supposed to be on my side." Dustin says turning towards me.
I just shrug.
"I told you to stop that." Lucas says annoyed with my brother's antics as we approach our house.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Dustin says with a smile.
"Bye, Lucas." I say, sending the boy a small wave.
"Later." He says before Dustin and I turn into our driveway.
Dustin and I make our way up our driveway, and set our bikes down, starting to walk towards the door. When out of the blue, a strange noise comes from the woods around us. We glance at each other, curious expressions forming on our faces.
"Mews?" I call out, wondering if our cat is out there.
"Mews?" Dustin says, making a few kissing noises before shrugging and walking inside.
I stand there for a few more seconds, ears listening for that noise again, but it never comes. I finally head inside, relieved to find Mews curled up on her favorite spot on the couch, her soft tail twitching lightly as she sleeps. I smile, giving her tiny head a soft pat before making my way to my bedroom, reassured that everything is okay.
<3
next chapter . masterlist . steve harrington masterlist . taglist
thank you for reading, my darling! remember to like! reblog! and comment! i’ll give you a smooch if you do, ily! send requests to my inbox!
alwaysmoncheri © ─ all rights reserved. please do not repost/translate/copy any of my work.
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isa-ghost · 7 months
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Can we please keep in mind that given what we know, there's a strong chance plenty of Wilbur's friends were blindsided by this, and could very well be grieving that someone so close to them turned out to be this horrific?
Given we KNOW Wilbur meticulously kept up a facade socially and publicly, there's a strong chance they had little to no idea he was that way unless they personally witnessed the behaviors. That's horrifying.
I personally know what it's like to have someone you talked to and hung out with near-daily for YEARS to turn out to be a disgusting, lying, fake and awful person. You feel betrayed, sick, angry, confused, devastated. You need time to emotionally process that. ESPECIALLY before doing something like making a public statement about "your stance" on the matter. Some of the people we know felt like family to Wilbur, genuinely, even despite all the jokes that got old so fast within the community. And they could've gone the whole time not knowing all this.
That's not something you get over instantly. That's not something you can think clearly through right away. Anyone demanding a nuanced and well-thought out statement rejecting and condemning Wilbur ASAP for their own satisfaction are stupid as hell. You don't care about the situation, you're fishing for internet points by being ready to pull the trigger on anyone who doesn't say something the moment you expect them to. You care more about Looking like you have humanity by attacking abusers and abuse apologists, instead of Actually having humanity in realizing this has a real impact on real people with real emotions.
They're fucking grieving. And we've seen from plenty of them who thought of him as a friend that Have said something already that they are also ANGRY.
Those who have yet to speak up are likely still processing their emotions. Or processing what they want to say. Or perhaps are even personally affected by the situation as victims of abuse themselves, and therefore NEED to step back before they say anything, if they say anything at all.
They could also be saying something where we can't see. They don't owe the public shit, anything they'd say wouldn't be for us. We aren't entitled to their thoughts or their explicit rejection of Wilbur. Which is Also why anyone demanding instant statements from anyone is a fucking moron. They don't need to "prove" to us that they don't support Wilbur anymore. That's not what anything to do with this situation is about. That's not what matters here.
What matters is they've personally given Shelby their support; which is 10x more meaningful given directly to her rather than in public where it's also largely to please anyone scrutinizing them. What matters is they've stopped engaging with Wilbur, removed his presence from their personal content (ex: Phil removed his point redemption audios that had Wilbur in them), etc. Actions speak louder than words.
Some of you are just fucking lazy and don't want to look deeper, you want convenient and perfectly crafted statements for your satisfaction and comfort right away.
TLDR: think fucking harder before you open your mouth about any cc's reaction to Wilbur or his statement. These people were friends with him (many are also friends with Shelby!), trusted him, etc. There's nuance to situations like these whether you like it or not, and ccs saying anything where you can see it at the exact moment you want them to is not something any of us are owed.
Fuck Wilbur. Fuck his garbage statement. But if you're more focused on hounding every cc who ever knew him publicly to cater to you for one reason or another the second you want them to, fuck you too.
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thecampjuicebox · 11 months
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Hi! I would absolutely love shameless smut Astarion x f!Tav (or f!reader) with some oral ministrations ^-^
Hi sweets! Your wish is my commend! I've been waitin' for this one. *cracks knuckles* Let's do this.
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Hunger
Pairing: Tav(f) x Astarion
POV: 2nd person (Reader is Tav)
Rating: 18+, Minors DNI
Warnings: Smut, masturbation, oral (f/m giving/receiving), biting, choking, Dom Astarion x Sub Tav, gentle face slapping
Sleep eludes you this particular night, your brain running through the recent events of the past few days. The nautiloid, the tadpoles, gathering this seemingly harmless band of misfits, it's all so.. Strange. Before waking up in the grasp of the mindflayers, your life was simple. A merchant and artist in Baldur's Gate. During the day, you were peddling your wares to the higher society of the city, making a name for yourself amongst the lords and ladies. You specialized in jewelry, mostly. Adorning the necks of the wealthy with the finest jewels Faerun has to offer. You breathe slowly, eyelashes fluttering at the memory. You'd had your fair share of meetings with some of the most eligible fellows in the upper city because of your line of work. Each one of them powerful, wealthy. Insanely wealthy. You've danced with Lordlings, held hands with Dukes, even been bedded by a magistrate or two. None of them compared to the pale skinned elf you happened to pick up after the crash. Astarion. He's so.. Different. Your mind reels at the very idea of him and you fidget in your bedroll.
Tired eyes snap open at the sudden sound of shuffling beside you, the sight of that very elf leaning over you with fangs bared sending you into a daze. He widens his eyes at you, backing away slowly. "Shit." You hurry to your feet, taking a defensive stance towards the intruder. He blinks at you innocently.
"I-It's not what it looks like! I swear!"
Crossing your arms over your chest, you eye him for a moment, waiting for some sort of explanation.
"I wasn't going to hurt you.. I just need, well, blood."
Shit. You stare at him blankly for a moment, mind racing. It all makes so much sense now. His lack of appetite, his blatantly obvious sneaking off at night, the dead boar your group found on the bridge to the Blighted Village. Perfectly drained of blood from no more than two little pinholes in its neck. Of course. He's a vampire. You pause for a moment, considering the implications of your discovery. Heat travels down your spine and stings in your core. You stand firm, furrowing your eyebrows to seem angrier than you really are.
"I can't believe I didn't see it. We even found your last meal lying in the road. Clever of you to act so naïve about the situation. Bravo."
His posture straightens and he places his hands on his hips, lips curving into that devilish grin that makes your knees week. The vampire quirks an eyebrow at you then drags his eyes down your body before meeting your eyes again. His intense gaze makes you shiver. Picking at your fingernails, you chew your bottom lip nervously and kick your foot at the dirt beneath you. Astarion drums his fingers against his hip bones.
"I usually feed on animals. Boars, Kobolds, whatever I can find really. But right now I'm too slow. Too weak. If I could just have a little blood.. I could fight better."
You nod slowly and weigh your options. This could help him. You need him strong to fight the massive hoards of enemies you and your group seem to continuously encounter. What's a little bite? You smirk at your next thought, cheeks unknowingly burning hot the moment the idea crosses your mind. You'll also have the chance to be deliciously close to the vampling. No, don't think like that. The tadpole squirms with excitement in your brain, making you wince slightly at the sudden movement behind your eyes. You sigh and straighten your posture.
"Fine. But not a drop more than you need."
"What? I- Okay. Yes. Perfectly reasonable. Shall we make ourselves comfortable?"
Astarion motions towards his dimly lit tent and you nod, keeping a death grip on your bottom lip between your teeth. His hand rests at the small of your back to guide you into the cramped living space, the gentle yet dominant gesture making your knees nearly buckle underneath you. His breath is warm on your ear. "Lie down." Without hesitation, you lower yourself knees first to his bedroll, a quiet growl rumbling in the vampire's chest as he watches you closely. You choke back a quiet whimper, clearing your throat quickly. Astarion moves next to you and smiles, giving your shoulder a gentle push to lower you the rest of the way to the plush surface beneath you. A trembling hand moves up to cup the back of your head.
"Stay still for me.."
Before you can respond the vampire bares his fangs, moving in to plunge them deep into the sensitive flesh of your neck. Icy hot pain courses through you, each vein in your body simultaneously burning. You whimper up into Astarion's ear. The hand on the back of your head tightens its grip, holding onto your soft hair now. Your mouth falls open at the tension on the back of your head. "A-Astarion.." Is all you can say as his tongue laps at the fresh wounds on your neck, little grunts of enjoyment vibrating your skin. You mewl at the new sensation and grab a fistful of his shirt, desperately pulling him closer to you. He finally breaks contact with your neck, gazing down at you with drunken eyes.
"Gods, you're.. Delicious.."
Little black spots speckle your vision as you try to focus on Astarion's face, a woozy feeling rushing over you suddenly. He must've been starving, he's basically drained you and left you on empty. Your heart thumps in your ears. Soft hands push the hair from your face before resting on your cheeks, giving the now sickly pale skin a few little gentle slaps. A devilish grin thins your lips.
"That was incredible. I feel incredible."
...
Late night feedings have become a regular thing for you and Astarion. You reveled in the intimate way he'd hold you close to him to ensure you wouldn't move, hand tangling in your hair to keep your neck steady. It left you needy every single time, often excusing yourself to a secluded part in the woods to relieve the urges, the freedom to be as loud as you want. Tonight is one of those nights.
Astarion stands and wipes his lips with the back of his hand, licking the remnants of your blood carefully from his skin. He groans happily before helping you back to your feet. You smile and say your goodbyes quickly, dashing out of the tent. He quirks an eyebrow, waiting for your footsteps to fall silent before peaking his head out of his tent, scanning around for you. He spots you ducking into the woods and pure curiosity wills him to follow. "Where in the hells is she going?" Astarion slinks out of his tent and picks up on your scent like a lost dog, carefully following your trail. He crouches low, making sure to leave a decent amount of distance between you so you don't detect his presence.
You tip toe through the thick foliage, leaves quietly crunching under your boots. Stopping in your usual clearing, you sigh heavily, carefully scoping out the area for any intruders before lowering yourself to the ground. Shaky fingers unlace your boots and kick them off in a rush, fumbling with the ties on your shirt. You groan with anticipation and fling the garment to the side, standing up to quickly shimmy out of your leathers. Goosebumps raise all over your pale skin at the cool night air and you slide out of your underwear last, a sticky puddle of arousal staining the fabric. You toss those aside, eyes doing another once-over of the land. No one in sight. You lean against a large oak tree and stare up at the sky, gulping down the massive lump in your throat. You're so desperate for release. So needy. So wet. You close your eyes and allow your fingers to travel over your chest, little whimpers escaping your dry throat as you carefully circle your painfully erect nipples. You give one a pinch, grinding your hips at the air. "F-Fuck.."
Astarion breeches the thick line of trees and enters the clearing quietly, eyes roaming the area in search of you. He catches a glimpse of your boots and smirks, gaze flicking to your pile of clothes. "The little devil." His pointy ears perk up at your moan and he leans in the direction of the sound, holding his breath for a moment to listen even closer. Stifling a moan of his own, he moves towards the tree you're leaning against, eyes fixed on your profile. Without noticing the intruder, your fingers slide down your abdomen, muscles flexing at the feather light touch before hungrily dipping between your folds. You tilt your head higher, jaw falling open as you collect your arousal on your fingers and carefully shimmy your feet further apart to give yourself more room to work. Your knees buckle, your belly aches with desire, your skin burns for attention. Astarion moves in closer, the sound of his shuddering breath causing you to freeze. Your eyes snap open.
"W-who's there? I swear to the gods above, I'll kill you."
The vampire moves into view, tongue flicking out over his bottom lip to moisten the skin. He steps in front of you, placing both hands on the tree to trap you between his body and the tall oak. You gaze up at him, blinking in embarrassment.
"Having all of this fun without me, pet? I'm hurt."
"I.. I just.. Didn't want to bother you with asking. Wasn't sure you'd be interested?"
"Hmph. May I?"
You nod quickly at his question, pushing your hips forward. Astarion tuts, reaching a hand down to rub over your sensitive mound, earning a strained moan. He leans in close to your ear, exhaling slowly before biting at your lobe, a low growl building in his belly.
"At least you had the decency to consider my feelings. How sweet of you."
He presses a single digit to your clit and rubs slow circles, cooing into your ear after each of your whimpers as he gradually picks up speed. Both of your hands find the front of his shirt and give it a rough tug to pull him closer to you, hips bucking up against his touch. He licks a slow, hot stripe up the side of your neck, the still fresh bite mark stinging from his saliva. You chew your lip for a moment, releasing the flesh to whisper up at him.
"May I touch you?"
His fingers pause at your words and he stares down at you, expression melting into one of almost sadness. No one has ever asked to touch him as sweetly as you just did. He's so used to being just a body, a toy. Someone for people to play with as they please. Tears well up in the corners of his eyes and he blinks them away quickly. You back yourself against the tree and wait for his response, hands resting at your sides, The vampire nods down at you, mumbling a soft "Please." You flash a sweet smile up at him, placing your hands on his chest and slowly sliding them down his slender body, falling to your knees. He gasps at the touch, head tilting up towards the sky. A hand instinctively rests on the back of your head.
"If at any point you get uncomfortable, please tell me and I'll stop, okay?"
He beams down at you, bottom lip quivering. You quickly undo the lacing on his leathers and press gentle kisses to his already stiff cock through the fabric, Astarion grasping a handful of your hair in response. You giggle to yourself and tug his leathers down carefully. "Mm.." His eyes darken with lust. He tugs your hair to tilt your head up, forcing you to look at him. His hand leaves your hair and circles around your neck, fingers fitting perfectly in the subtle indents just below your jawline. You grunt at the sudden restriction of air.
"Such a good pet. So obedient for me. I want you to touch yourself while I fuck your throat. Can you do that?"
You groan and nod up at him, face turning red from the lack of oxygen. He releases your neck, giving your cheek a gentle slap before grasping your jaw firmly, fingers sliding upwards to squish your cheeks together.
"Good girl."
You mewl at the roughness of his hands, cunt dripping onto your thick thighs. He releases your face and frees his cock from the constricting leather. You part your knees and slide a hand down between them, fingers swirling around in the mess. Astarion grasps his cock in his hand, giving it a few pumps before pressing the weeping tip to your lips, swiping the pre-cum around your cheeks and mouth.
"Open."
You obey happily, parting your lips and letting your tongue lull out, a thin line of drool falling onto your chest. The vampire taps his throbbing member against your tongue, swiping it back and forth before shoving it as far into your mouth as he can. Your lips wrap tightly around the base as he bottoms out. His head falls back, jaw slack from the warmth of your mouth. You bob your head carefully after giving yourself a moment to adjust to his girth in your throat and your fingers move furiously against your clit, slick coating your trembling hand. Your free hand sits firm on the ground beneath you to hold you steady. Astarions hands move to your hair, grabbing a fistful on each side of your head to keep you in place as he fucks into your throat, groaning with each thrust. Drool spills out of the corners of your mouth when he pushes in. He pauses his thrusts and slides his boot between your legs, gritting his teeth before growling down at you.
"Fuck yourself on my boot like a good pet. Show me how needy you are."
You scoot closer on your knees, lowering yourself onto the shiny top of his boot and you grind your hips into the leather, both arms wrapping around his leg to hold you steady. He resumes his quick thrusts into your throat, rhythm beginning to falter as he nears his end. He gasps for air. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." You stick your tongue out once more to rub against the underside of his cock, earning a loud moan from the pale elf towering above you. "Gods, please. I'm so close." His voice is desperate now, tough exterior crumbling in front of you. He bucks his hips furiously into your face, the tip of his cock brushing the very back of your throat and you stifle a gag, only earning another moan at the way your throat tightens around him. You grind down roughly onto his boot still, slick coating the black leather. He snaps, completely coming undone, hot ropes of cum shooting into the back of your throat and you swallow quickly, making sure to milk every last drop. The vampire shudders and pulls himself away from you and you keen at the emptiness, a string of drool and cum still connecting the two you of you. You flick your tongue out to collect the fluid, hips still moving in a slow steady motion and you gasp as he lifts his foot into you slightly.
"Filthy."
You grin, moaning up at him, chest heaving as you gasp for air. Swift hands yank you up off of the ground, your back slamming into the oak tree behind you. Astarion's lips crash to yours and you melt in his embrace. His tongue wrestles for dominance in your mouth, the taste of him still lingering there. You groan into his mouth quietly and wrap one leg around his waist, the other still supporting your weight. The kiss feels like it goes on for years, lips moving in perfect harmony. This is perfect. He is perfect. Astarion pulls away from your lips and you whine at the lack of touch, eyes fluttering open to stare up at him.
"May I taste you, pet?"
Astarion's sudden change of tone makes your heart flutter and you nod quickly, resting your ass against the tree. He kneels carefully, nose leaving a soft trail down your hip bone and to the top of your mound. He presses gentle kisses there for a moment. Your hips twitch, a hand reaching out to stroke his hair back lovingly. Without warning, he lifts you up, tossing your legs over his shoulders, pinning you up in the air against the tree. His hands rest under your thighs, spreading your legs apart as far as your hips will allow, opening you up to him. You gasp and reach your hands up above your head to grip the thick trunk. Astarion dips his tongue between your folds and licks a long stripe to your clit then back down, spreading your thick juices around. He groans at your taste. His lips work against your clit now, sucking the sensitive nub between them, creating a tight seal. You cry out in pleasure, back bowing upwards. The sensations knock the wind out of you. Waves of pleasure send you into a daze as he shoves his tongue into your slit, teeth carefully scraping your clit. His fingers dig into your plush thighs, leaving little indents that will surely bruise. You whine and grind your hips against his tongue. He grins, sticking his tongue out, allowing you to take control and you happily oblige, grinding your aching clit against his warm tongue.
"Gods, Astarion I'm gonna-"
Before you can finish your sentence, the vampire wraps his lips around your clit once more, tongue lapping furiously at the bundle of nerves. Electricity pulses up your spine, your climax exploding inside of you. You fall apart in his arms, crying his name out to the empty clearing, his mouth still working you through your release. The over stimulation causes you to writhe in his embrace and you desperately push on his forehead, doing anything you can to escape his hungry mouth. He chuckles and lowers you to your feet, hands resting on your hips now to hold you steady. He licks his lips, pressing a wet kiss to yours. You shudder at the taste of yourself. Astarion leans in to press a gentle kiss to your shoulder, nuzzling his nose into your collar bone and you sigh happily. His voice is low and sultry, breathing still labored.
"You're absolutely divine, my sweet."
You giggle shyly and wrap your arms around the vampire's thin waist, helping him tug his leathers back up into place. Gently trailing your fingers along the skin just above his pants, you gaze up into his eyes, lids lowering. The vampire shudders at your touch, pulling you into a tight hug. Your heart thumps in your chest.
"You're not so bad yourself."
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nohoperadio · 27 days
Text
Some of my coworkers (I work in a bookshop, I'm getting kinda tired of having to add that parenthetical to every work story I tell on here but it's often essential context, I wish there was a better way. Why can't you just fucking pay attention and remember where I work, that would be nice?) are very smug and proud of themselves about the fact that they make a habit of ratting out teenagers to their parents when they're trying to buy books (to be fair I could probably have just let the context do its own work in this particular post, I didn't really need to say anything. I'm sorry I spoke to you like that earlier) which are, according to the bookseller's no doubt eminently wise and edifying judgment, not age-appropriate--not outright refusing sales, but like when a teen and their parent are both at the till, saying something like "oh just so you're aware this book has some controversial stuff in it"--and I hope I continue to successfully hide how much this pisses me off because oh my fucking god.
Mostly this happens with Colleen Hoover books, who if you're unaware is a very tiktok-popular romance author whose books are sometimes accused of glorifying abusive relationship dynamics, I haven't read her and don't have a good sense of to what extent this is a fair accusation vs people misrepresenting the books to score backlash discourse points, neither possibility would surprise me, but also I don't think the answer to that question is very relevant to anything.
And look, I accept that my free speech absolutist radical position of "teenagers are less stupid than you probably think but even the stupid ones probably should be allowed some intellectual liberties maybe, they're going to be adults in like five minutes jesus christ" is not something everyone can embrace, I do. But the sheer glee with which this one guy the other day was telling the story of a mom getting quite angry with her daughter when he told her about what she's trying to buy, like "haha someone's gonna have an awkward conversation when they leave the shop!", is so so ugly to me... like it would be much easier to believe this was a principled moral stance if you weren't actively making fun of the people you're claiming to protect! And holy shit do you not remember this exact experience, of being a teenager and a bunch of adults who are clearly not actually smarter or better than you nonetheless having strong opinions about what kinds of things you ought to be enjoying and spending time on and thinking about? Do you not remember how much that sucked? (I'm like a decade older than most of these booksellers, I should be the cranky old person whose heart has been consumed by cheap cynical moralism, not them!!)
I could add a little bit here about how obviously it's only the books that are girl-coded that receive this higher level of scrutiny and shaming, but sadly it's getting dark and I had intended to make this a short post so I could go for a run after and I should really do that now if I'm gonna do it at all, you'll have to think about that part in your own time. Sorry for ranting everyone I hope we're all having a chill Saturday apart from me. Are we having a chill Saturday?
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captainlunaxmen · 9 months
Text
All for the cameras
Chapter 4
Finnick Odair x reader
This is a repost since the old blog doesn't work anymore. 🥰
Chapter summary: a little about the making of the Games, the reaping, and the Parade.
Chapter warnings: talking of lethal threats, Cal has his own warning, Snow, forced marriage.
Masterlist
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I take a huge gulp of wine as I sit in Plutarch's living room.
He did convince Snow to make me his personal assistant for this Quarter Quell, Plutarch told him it's a perfect way to show my "participation". Although I hate to keep up such a facade, I love that I can use it as an excuse to not stay, nor spend any time with Cal.
"Careful with that," Plutarch comes back into the room with his own glass, "we need you lucid for this."
"Trust me, I built a strong resistance to alcohol... no amount would help endure this shit anyway..." I mutter, looking at my fucking ring.
"You spent too much time with Abernathy, I'm afraid," he comments, he's not judging, no, he's probably just teasing.
"Or not enough," I tease back, he smirks amused by my answer.
He then suddenly turns the TV on, on display my answer to Cal's proposal.
I groan as I see that.
"I gotta say, that was smart," he compliments me, referring to the kiss.
"Could you turn it off? One fucking time was enough, thank you." I tell him.
"Not telling you about the Quartel Quell was smart too," he throws this out like nothing, my head snaps towards him.
"You little... that's why..." I start, but his proud stance stops me, "fine... smart thinking on your part too, okay."
"Thank you very much," he does a little bow before turning serious, "I'm sure now you can know more." He declares.
"Really?" I ask, I really want to know more and help, but at the same time I don't want to risk everyone.
"Yes, miss L/n. But... you have to know this, all this, will require a lot from you. From all of us, actually. So just know... you can still change your mind and no one will hold it against you." He explains, I can feel he is sincere, I know I can trust him.
I take a deep breath, this is a good chance to actually change things here... I won't pass this opportunity.
"Anything." I say and he smiles.
"Alright, our primarily goal is to get Katniss out." He starts and I nod, of course she would be the face of the revolution, "every Victor involved knows that,"
"Did you warn them? The ones involved?" I ask.
"Didn't have the chance... not everyone... I also need you to start thinking that not everyone will see this revolution starts." He says bitterly.
"I..." I don't know what to say, so I try to reason it, "yeah... of course... if not all of them know... the others would just want to survive, as always."
"Reasoning won't help you much this time," he says and he uses the remote to change the scene on the screen.
The reaping ceremony of each district.
"Cashmere and Gloss... God... they're brother and sister.."
"It never stopped the Capitol before. It just adds up to the drama." Plutarch sighs.
"I know," I sigh as the next district's reaping starts, "it may sounds cliché, but Enobaria is actually a sweet person... when you get past the teeth," I try to chuckle to ease my tension. Yeah... I might not see some of them after...
"Please tell me you were smart enough to recruit Beetee," I look at Plutarch who nods confidently.
"Oh..."
"This is where I wanted you," he says softly.
"Finnick... yeah... I... it makes sense..." I say as I see him walking up the stage.
"You need to..."
He doesn't have the time to finish his sentence before I let out a big gasp.
"Mags volunteered..." I whisper, "she... she can't... they can't... not them both... oh c'mon..."
"I'm sorry. When the time comes we will do our best to take everyone to safety, but..." he explains.
"But you can't control what happens in the arena..." I mutter, "not without raising suspects. I know."
I hear him sigh and walking closer to me, offering a comforting hand on my shoulder, I nod and we go on watching the reaping.
Johanna of course... I know she has all the skills to protect herself in there, but she's still my friend and I can't not worry. Especially knowing she has nothing left to lose.
Finally we get to 12 and of course Katniss, being the only living female victor, she's reaped.
Time for the male.
Haymitch's name is said, and for a split moment my heart breaks, but Peeta is quick to volunteer for him. I see Katniss shocked and terrified expression and I know she asked Haymitch to volunteer in his place if the roles were reverse.
"That was rigged... wasn't it?" I ask.
"Exactly, we need Haymitch here and..." he motion for me to go on.
"She needs Peeta there," I say earning a proud nod from him, "she just doesn't know it."
There's a moment of silence, where I take a second to recollect myself and take a sip of wine.
"Now," he claps his hands, "to make your participation more believable... you need to write down 2 ideas for the arena."
"What?" I ask, "I thought the arena was already decided."
"The arena yes... not the threats inside." He says.
"What do you mean?" I'm actually confused right now.
"This year arena is... quite special," he starts explaining, showing the concept on the screen, "it's divided in sections, like this, each section hosts a threat. Like these: acid fog, monkeys, this big wave... And so on."
"Acid fog? Isn't it a little too much?" I ask getting nervous for my friends.
"I told you it's gonna be hard," he gives me a sympathetic smile, "and we need your suggestions to be... authentic. It has to look like you're actually putting an effort."
I sigh, bouncing my leg.
I need to think of something that's horrifying, but safe at the same time.
They're all there... all my friends are there. The only family I've ever known since... I shake my head and drink more wine.
"Okay. Yeah... I get it." I nod, "when do you need it?"
"Tomorrow." He answers, "I have faith you can do it and... you can say you're busy working for me." He winks at me with a reassuring smile.
"That's the only good thing," I let out a humourless laugh and take one last gulp of wine before standing up. "Then I should get going. Thank you, Mr Heavensbee."
I walk towards the exit when Plutarch's voice stops me.
"One more thing," he calls and I turn my head, "even though you'll try and think of the least lethal threat... they might kill someone anyway. Keep that in mind."
I nod and walk out.
----------------
As I enter my apartment I instantly smell flowers... lots of them.
I look around and I see, probably, more than 10 bouquets of flowers.
"Oh god..." I sigh, defeated. I look at some of them, noticing most are from "admirers" congratulating me for my engagement.
But there are three that catch my eyes more than the others.
One, huge, bouquet is made by all sort of flowers, I don't think I've ever seen such variety of flowers in the first place. I look at the card... I groan, it's from Cal.
"My love, everyday I count the days that separate us from being finally together.
I can't wait for you to be mine.
Properly mine.
Enjoy your job, my sweetness, and happy Hunger Games!
Love,
Cal Kingslay. "
I throw the whole bouquet with the rest, and just look at the other. It's simple and small, my favourite flowers and a few seashells here and there, the thing holding the bouquet it's not paper... it's fish nets... Finnick. I unconsciously smile as I take the card.
"I wanT to congRatUlate you, my SweeT girl!
TheY tOld me the news jUst now! Miss L/n, You shouLd've tOld me, I've neVer beEn so happy!
Congratulations!
Dario."
He signs each letters, making it look like it was ink fallen from the pen... smart.
"I trust you, my love"
He even signed it with an anagram of his name. I let out a laugh at that and move to the last bouquet.
Even smaller then Finnick's, a few green leaves are like a frame for the one, white rose.
I shakily take the card in my hand.
"Congratulations on your engagement, my dear. I look forward to see what you'll come up with for our Games.
I'm sure one day you'll make a fine Gamemaker."
There's no sign, not that he needed to...
"Gamemaker... yeah... sure." I scoff.
I go to the kitchen to get myself some wine. As I'm about to pour a glass, I look at the bottle and just... take it all with me to my room.
I sit on the desk in my room and, as I take some gulps from the bottle, I try to come up with some ideas.
Plutarch mentioned a few potentially lethal threat already, I mean... acid fog, deadly monkeys, that I'm sure will be modified.
What to do, what to do...
Other animals maybe, but a non lethal one... something that creates a hassle, but not death.
Bugs?
I shake my head, no, they would make it poisonous no matter what my suggestion is.
Something else, something else.
Jabberjays. Yes!
I write down my idea and take the bottle to take a big gulp, but the bottle slips from my grasp and falls on the desk spilling the liquid all over the desk and the pavement.
"Shit!"
I manage to safe the paper I was writing on and I immediately go take a towel to wipe the wine off.
As I kneel down cleaning the liquid, I find myself staring at the little drops of wine falling from the desk to the floor.
The dark liquid looks a lot like... blood.
Blood rain.
-------------
I walk nervously behind Plutarch, he just told me Snow wanted to hear my ideas himself, so now, as I'm walking I clench my fists nervously.
"You couldn't have told me sooner?" I ask him.
"He didn't ask me sooner," Plutarch answers as we finally stand out of Snow's office, "you wrote it?"
"Of course," I slightly scoff at his answer.
"Then take a deep breath and... show time," Plutarch smiles and knock on the door.
"Come in," Snow's voice gives us permission to enter.
"President," Plutarch greets him.
"Good morning, sir," I say, putting up the best 'diligent student' appearance.
"Good morning, Mr Heavensbee," he nods towards Plutarch and then turns to me, "and what a pleasure, miss L/n."
"You said you wanted to hear her ideas for the arena, right?" Plutarch starts.
"Oh, of course!" Snow's suddenly happy, as if he's about to hear a good story, "tell me, my dear girl, what did you think of?"
If it were a different universe this could've seemed a sweet exchange. The old "mentor" interested in his protégé ideas...
"When Plutarch showed me the arena and the already existing threats, I have to admit I was intrigued," I start and I see, from the corner of my eyes Plutarch smiling proudly, "but at the same time, I was a little bored." I say and that earned a surprised 'oh?' from Snow, "I mean... from those you either die or survive... so I thought of something more psychological."
"Oh, now that's interesting, my dear, please go on." Snow is pleased so far.
"I thought of a section of the arena where... uh..." I pretend to stutter for a second, to give him the impression that I'm nervous because I care for his opinion.
"Don't be shy, I'm open to all suggestions,"
"I thought of a blood rain... sir." I say.
I see him pondering the idea, then a smile creeps it's way on his face, it makes me sick.
"I like it," he finally says looking at Plutarch, "she's smart, isn't she?"
"Very smart, sir." Plutarch agrees.
"I'm even more curious to hear the other idea, please don't leave me hanging," Snow's 'sweet' tone almost freezes me to the spot, but I swallow hard and just ignore this feeling.
"Jabberjays." Is all I say.
He looks a little taken aback, and motion for me to elaborate.
"I thought about using Jabberjays that imitate the screams of people the tributes know." I say, pretending to feel unsure of my idea, "maybe create a sort of an invisible wall that prevents them from escaping if they finds the birds."
Snow looks at me, considering me for a moment, then he smiles, that sick smile once again.
"You were right in recruiting her, Mr Heavensbee. Good thinking, miss L/n, very good thinking." He compliments Plutarch and me.
"Thank you, sir." I smile.
"No, thank you," he says, "now, one more thing before I dismiss you."
I nod and stay put, even though I was ready to run, or better walk very fast, out of here.
"This role of assistant Gamemaker won't exonerate you from your duty to assist the mentors," he tells me.
"I wouldn't dream of it, sir, I've always taken my role very seriously," I tell him, faking pride as I speak.
"I know, my dear." He smiles, almost as if he knows I wasn't exactly fond of it, "we were supposed to randomly assign you to one district, like every year, but we thought to just let you stick to 12. Apparently the Capitol's people loved your... friendship with the two victors." He says the word 'friendship' with a not so convinced tone, almost repulsed.
"Of course, sir." I nod my head, eager to just get out of here.
"But," he adds, probably keeping me longer to see when I'll crumble, I look briefly at Plutarch who keeps his confidence stance, "you'll be assisting all of the districts." I look at him confused and he continues, "I mean, you'll be present during the training sessions and will help."
"Oh, yes, sir, of course." I nod again.
"That's all." He claps his hands, satisfied, "the tributes arrive today so... better be there to welcome them home."
'Home'...
"I'm going right now, sir." I promptly tell him, he smiles and motions me to go and to Plutarch to stay.
"Send my regards to Cal Kingslay when you see him," I hear him say as I walk out, not bothering to answer him I just go straight to the tributes living centre.
--------------
I enter the building and see Haymitch, Effie, Katniss and Peeta arriving.
"Well, well, well, aren't you lot a sight for sore eyes?" I say once I'm close enough to pull Peeta into a hug.
"Oh! We got the Princess this year too, uh? The president is spoiling us," Haymitch jokes ans I roll my eyes as I hug Katniss.
"Rather spoiling me," I greet Effie too, in the perfect 'Capitol style', "lots of opportunities."
"I figured," Haymitch says wrapping his arms around me.
"Now," I say holding my arms open, theatrically, "let's take you to your apartments."
I start walking towards the elevator, heading to the attic, again.
------------
Once inside we start to have lunch, the atmosphere is quite tense before Effie breaks the silence.
"All right," she starts, clearing her throat, "before we begin, I've had a thought."
"You don't say?" Haymitch jokes, unimpressed.
"Be nice," I tell him, throwing a balled-up napkin at him.
"Katniss has her gold Mockingjay pin. I have my hair. I'm going to get you three something gold." She declares, as if it were something obvious.
Haymitch looks at both me and Peeta, confused, before asking why.
"A token." Effie explains, "Show them we are a team. And they can't just..." she starts getting emotional and Katniss takes her hands.
"Thank you." She tells her, meaning it.
Effie might be too theatrical sometimes, but she's so much more than that, I'm grateful I got to know this side of her. I take her hand too.
"That's really sweet, Effie." I smile at her, "and... thank you for including me."
I notice both Peeta and Katniss sharing a look as if I said something unbelievable, but I ignore it.
Not the time.
"Now..." Effie composes herself, "everything will be different, because it's a Quarter Quell. The Capitol has spared no expense. A new training centre. New Tribute living quarters. And of course, a very special arena."
I tense at that, I took part in that...
"But this year you'll be facing other Victors." I step in, " all Capitol favourites. Smart, cunning, skilled... angry. And they all know one another. You two are the outsiders."
" I want you guys to forget everything you think you know about the Games. Last year was child's play." Haymitch starts explaining, he's the best to mentor them about a Quarter Quell, "this year, you're dealing with all experienced killers."
"All right," Peeta speaks up, "what does it mean for us?"
"Allies." I tell him, "you'll be needing allies."
"Okay. I think that if..." Peeta's reply is quickly interrupted.
"You're not the problem." I say and, I don't have to say anything more, Haymitch is already pointing at Katniss.
"No." She sternly says.
"A little help, Haymitch?" I ask him.
"Look, you're starting at a disadvantage. Most of these people have been friends for years."
"That just puts us higher on their killing list." She replies, annoyed.
I roll my eyes, she needs to do her part.
"Do it your own way, but I know these people. You go it alone, their first move is gonna be to hunt you down." Haymitch keeps explaining, patiently, "both of you."
"Katniss, come on," Peeta's sweet tone seems to convince her... a tiny bit.
She sighs deeply, which usually mean she's gonna listen, even though she doesn't agree.
"How could any of us even trust each other?" She then asks.
"It's not about trust. It's about staying alive," he states.
Peeta and Katniss look at each other and finally Katniss nod her head.
"Great!" I cheer, "time for some brainstorming, shall we?" And I stand up walking to the living room.
They soon follow and Haymitch turns the TV on, so they can see who the other Victors are, and who might seem like a good ally.
"Cashmere and Gloss. Brother and sister. District one. They one back-to-back Games. Capitol favourites. Lots of sponsors." He shows them the siblings.
"They will be lethal." I add and Haymitch nods, strongly agreeing.
"And the other half of the Career Pack, Brutus and Enobaria."
"What's with her teeth?" Of course, Katniss asks about the teeth.
"She... well... she had them filed into fangs..." I respond, "so she could... rip people's throat out better."
"She's committed. I'll give her that." Peeta comments, I can sense some tension in him... which is very understandable.
"Wiress and Beetee," Haymitch keeps on presenting the tributes, "not fighters, but brilliant."
"Very brilliant," I agree.
"And weird." He adds, earning a glare from me, "real texh-savvy. He won his Games by electrocuting six tributes at once." He changes the scene again, "the Morphlings. Masters of camouflage. Basically, won their Games by hiding until everyone was dead. Self-medicating ever since. Which I applaud. Not a threat."
We arrive at District 4 reaping.
"Finnick Odair, right?" Katniss asks.
Haymitch looks at me, silently telling me to explain this one myself, there's a hint of a smirk on his face that makes me roll my eyes for, what feels like, the millionth time today.
"Yep. The one and only." I starts, "he won his Games at 14. He's the youngest Victor ever... of course modesty is his peculiarity." I joke.
"You're kidding."
"Kinda," I chuckle, "he's very confident. Very. But... he's the Capitol's darling. They all love him here." Unfortunately, I want to add. "He's smart, he's skilled at combat, especially... especially in water."
"What about weaknesses?" Peeta asks, interested.
"Only one..." I sigh, deeply, "Mags. She... she volunteer for Annie. Mags was his mentor, the year that I was assigned to 4, she raised him, basically. He will try to protect her, even though it would expose him."
"A guy like that has to know she's not gonna make it," Katniss shakes her head, unconvinced, Haymitch looks at me knowingly, "I bet when it really comes down to it, he won't protect her."
I really want to hit her right now, but I know it's not her fault, she thinks this because it's what the Capitol wanted everyone else to think. That's what he had to pretend to be.
"Well... she's an amazing woman, Katniss, I... I just hope that... if... w-when she goes, she goes quickly." I stutter out. It took everything in me to say that... I want to hope we will rescue everyone before that happens... I really do.
I space out as Haymitch goes on explaining and introducing the other tributes.
I can feel his eyes on me every now and then, but I stopped pay attention minutes ago now.
Mags is the mother I never had... if there is one person who deserves to see a free Panem, it's her.
---------‐---
I was walking on the train heading to the restaurant car where I found an old lady sitting there, drinking a cup of tea.
"Hi..." I shyly said.
"Oh hello, dear." She greeted me with such a kind smile, I felt so much better and less nervous.
"I'm... I'm Y/n." I started to introduce myself, but her hand gently taking mine stopped me.
"I know, dear. I'm Mags." Another kind smile, "you're here to assist me, right?"
"Yeah." My hands were getting sweaty... I was so nervous.
"Hey, no need to worry about it. We can do it." She reassured me.
"I hope so..." I muttered under my breath.
She sighed and offer a seat to me, I took it and stared at the cups on the table.
"I watched you last year," her voice was soft as she spoke, "you were assigned to... what district?"
"5"
"But you were helping the little one from 11, right?" She asked.
I snapped my head to her, eyes wide open.
"Please, don't worry about it. I never told anyone." She assured me, handing me a warm cup, "I just meant that I saw you're not like the rest of them, my dear. You care."
"My tributes didn't want to listen, they were older than me and thought I was just a spy... which is understandable." I sadly kept my head low. "That boy from 11 was my age and... he was having trouble with some essential survival techniques."
"He got pretty far thanks to those." She tried to make me feel better.
"Not far enough," I bitterly replied.
"I'm sorry." I let her take my hand again, "it's not a consolation, I know, trust me, but... I have a feeling we can do it."
"They won't trust me," I told her, referring to the tributes from 4.
"Not at first... and most likely not the girl... but the boy, he seems to be more open to suggestions." She explained.
"I'm not sure he would accept suggestions from me."
"He's a smart one. Same age as you. Just be yourself and he will trust you." She smiled.
I considered her for a moment before nodding. Hope growing a little more.
The door of the car opening had my head turning immediately.
"My dear Y/n," Mags stood up and walked towards the boy entering, "this is Finnick Odair. Finnick, this is Y/n."
--------------
"Are you okay?" Haymitch's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
"Uh? Yeah... yeah, sorry, I zoned out." I apologise.
"I noticed." He sits with me.
"Where are they?" I ask, noticing no one else was in sight.
"Getting ready for the parade." He answers.
"Right... I better get going too. I have to check everyone is ready..." I tiredly sigh as I stand up, but Haymitch softly pulls me back down.
"If you take a few minutes it won't be a tragedy." He tells me, "what's going on in that head of yours?"
"Nothing... I just started to think about Mags." I whisper, afraid someone might hear.
"Plutarch gave you the speech?" He asks and I nod, "I'm really sorry, Y/n."
"It's okay... I mean, it's not, but I think it was inevitable... she would've never let anyone else go, not if she had any say in it." I tell him, "she's strong." I see him starting to speak but I beat him to it, "I know better than to keep my hopes up, trust me, I know."
He just sighs and wrap one reassuring arms around my shoulder.
"I really better get going now, gotta check on those outfits." I stand up.
"You do that, sweetheart." Haymitch smiles at me and I walk to the elevator.
--------------
I walk out of the elevator heading to where the parade is about to begin and I instantly loom for someone.
I spot immediately Peeta talking to Cinna, who's probably refining last minutes details.
"Hello." I greet once I'm close enough, Cinna turns around giving me a small smile and a hug. "You look good, mr Mellark."
"Only with his help it's possible." Peeta, humble as usual, replies pointing at Cinna.
"I'm not a magician, I can make people look good if they're worthy." Cinna shakes his head, waving off the compliment.
"I couldn't agree more." I sigh, "so, are you lot ready? Where's Katniss?"
"She's should be here soon, her dress is a little more complicated than Peeta's." Cinna answers, "and, since you're here, I was thinking about them not doing anything out there."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I mean, no waving, no smiling, nothing of sort. Act like they're above them. What do you think?" He explains, genuinely interested in my opinion.
"I think it's perfect." I smile and he return it.
"Oh, there she is." Peeta points behind us, I turn seeing Katniss talking to Finnick, who's a lot close. I hope he's not putting up his flirting persona, I don't think Katniss would trust him so easily then.
Peeta excuses himself to join her, just as Finnick walks away... spotting me.
"Snow asked..." Cinna gently nudges my arm and lowers his voice, "or better, ordered me to make her wear a wedding dress for the interview."
"Of course..." I roll my eyes. "You good with that?
"Oh yeah...I got a great idea for it." He says, I look into his eyes seeing determination so I don't ask more questions.
"Better get them ready to go, it's almost time." I tell him.
Cinna walks to Katniss and Peeta and I turn to check if someone else needs a hand with something or needs advice, unlikely, but never say never.
I see Mags petting a horse so I decide to go to her.
As soon as she sees me her smile grows ten times, warming my heart.
"You look very beautiful," I tell her, once we're close enough I hug her, "I'm so sorry." I whisper into her ear.
She pulls away gently, looking at me with that kind smile that always makes me feel better. She caresses my cheek with her hand, reassuringly, nodding her head to tell me that it's alright.
I nod too, taking a deep breath.
"Do you think I look presentable?" A very familiar voice says from behind me.
I look at Mags, rolling my eyes, glad I made her laugh a little.
I turn around, fully admir... noticing his naked chest and the golden fish net tied at his... oh shit.
"My eyes are up here, sweetheart." He smirks and I just turn my head away, shaking it as I try to pull myself together.
"Did your stylists finished the fabric?" I finally say, "I could've ordered some, if they told me."
"Of course," he smiles and walk closer to me, leaning down to whisper into my ear, "just between us... I'm wearing it just for you."
My head snaps to him, our faces mere inches apart. I notice his eyes looking down to my lips, I instantly put some distance walking up to district 3.
"And here I thought you would never come to say hi," Beetee waves.
"Did you lose all hope in me? And here I thought you were the smart one." I tease back.
"It's a pity seeing each other here, under these circumstances." Wiress shakes my hand.
"I know. I wish it were different..." I look down, sad and ashamed too, Beetee softly touches my arm. I look up at him noticing him mouthing something on the line of 'it's gonna be fine' so I smile at him. "Well, don't you two look great?"
I compliment them, just before the announcer warned us of the beginning.
I wave them goodbye for now and head back, watching every district ride out there.
When it's Finnick's turn he turns to me and winks at me, earning a big eye roll. When it's finally District 12 turn as they pass by I nod my head, encouraging them. I see them looking st each other and straighten their back proudly.
I walk towards the end of the parade, where they should get off the chariots and head back to the elevators, and I wait.
I look at them in the distance, taking deep breaths to calm my nerves.
All of a sudden I feel someone watching me from behind.
"You did a pretty good job, my sweetness." His voice makes me wince.
I turn around, showing the usual fake smile I show to everyone in the Capitol, pretending to be happy to see him.
"Cal... hi." I say, holding back from walking away as he nears, "what are you doing here?"
"I missed you. I didn't scare you, didn't I?" He says with a smile, that clearly shows he's proud he did.
"Of course, not. I was just thinking." I tell him sweetly.
"What about?" He ask, curious.
"Well, I have a lot to do these days and when they're back I'll have to make sure everything is organised." I tell him. "And also, taking part in the making of the Games... Plutarch asked me to write down some ideas."
This is probably the only time I'm glad I have this job, if I didn't, Cal would've kept me basically locked up, in his apartment. 'All to himself'... the thought makes me shiver.
"Would you share them with me?" He whispers.
"I can't ruin the fun, can I?" I say back.
"Aahh... you're killing me, babe." He shakes his head chuckling.
If only...
"No special treatment, Cal." I smile, feeling uneasy from the way he's looking at me.
In that moment, thankfully, I hear the parade is ending, which means everybody is about to get back.
"Such a diligent girl." He moves his hand to take mine. I let out a nervous laugh and a 'thanks', and finally, one district at a time, they're back.
I lock eyes with some of the Tributes, who noticing Cal with me, tense and give me sympathetic smile.
Then Finnick's back.
As soon as he sees me, he can't keep up the fake smile and his expression darkens.
"Well... I'm sorry, but I have to go now. I'll see you." I say, starting to turn around, but his hand grabs my arm. Rather harshly, which makes my eyes widen at that.
"We hardly see each other these days... I miss you." He looms over me, a dark look in his eyes.
"Well... uh..." I clear my throat, looking at the tributes still arriving, "I have a job to.. to do."
I see Mags and Finnick, she has a hand on his arm, to stop him from coming here.
"Good thing that when we're married you won't need to work, then." He tells me directly into my ear, "I would be able to have you any day I want."
"Wouldn't that be a dream..?" I choke out, my throat tightens. I still look at Finnick, more to check he doesn't intervenes than anything.
"There you are!" We both look at the source of the sound, Johanna.
I let out a sigh of relief as she walks closer.
"I was looking for you." She says, "they told me to ask you for the schedule."
"Yes... yes! I got it." I tell her.
Johanna pretends to notice Cal just now and extends her hand towards him.
"Oh hey there! You must be the lucky one, uh?" Johanna greets him.
Cal looks at her sceptically before shaking her hand.
"Yes, that's me."
"So nice to finally meet you, she talks about you all the time!" Johanna's (fake) cheery personality and flattery seem to work on Cal, who smiles smugly, "you don't mind if I steal her, do you?"
Before Cal could answer, she pulls me to her linking arms and walks away.
"God, he looks so annoying." She groans.
"He is... he is." I sigh, relieved.
"I thought about stepping in before Finnick over there could rip his eyes out," she teases. "So... how are the lovebirds?"
"They're completely in love." I tell her, she nods smiling knowingly.
I spot them talking with district 11 tributes, I wave at Haymitch, letting him know I'll be up in a second.
"Ugh... he still looking this way," Johanna complains getting in front of me, "is he always like this?"
"Even worse." I roll my eyes.
"Alright," she take the end of her dress in her hands showing it to me, "Plutarch told me."
I understand now what she's doing with her dress, she's pretending to show it to me, so it looks like we're talking about the dress.
"I know," I say touching the fabric, pretending to check it out, "you're sure about doing this?"
"Of course I am," she now turns to 'make me see her back', "never been more sure."
"I'm just sorry," I tell her, motioning for her to turn back around.
"No need too," she smiles, an emotionless smile, "oh he's gone.. finally."
"Thanks for saving me," I tell her.
"Anytime," she says, she turns her head towards the elevator, "well... I'll go introduce myself."
"Be nice." I tell her, she winks at me and walks away to the elevator with Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch.
I go over the last details, seeing the horses are attended to, the chariots are about to be put away, everything seems fine.
I then walk to the elevator myself, I lean against the elevator's wall as soon as I enter.
Before the doors can close, someone rushes in, I look up finding myself face to face with Finnick.
Being in a confined space with a shirtless Finnick is...
"Hi, my love."
Shit.
72 notes · View notes
lunamadhatter99 · 10 months
Text
All for The Cameras
Chapter 4
Finnick Odair x fem!reader
I would like to take a moment to thank you all for the support and love for this story. Thank you so so much. I'm not very confident so it means a lot. Thank you all❤️❤️❤️
If you're new and would like to be added to the tag list, tell me🔥
Chapter summary: a little about the making of the Games, the Reaping, and the Parade.
Chapter warnings: talking of lethal threats, Cal is has his own warning, Snow, forced marriage.
Tag list
@guacam011y @justtrying2getby @idontevenknow1359 @alexandra-001 @bambikitten @maggiecc @redh00dsbf @haneybunny @1-800-styles @sisiking99 @merromimo @yourdailymemedelivery @regsg18 @gordorio @bambikitten @gracieeleanorr @shev3nom @honethatty12 @savingprivatecass @erindiggory @martahabla @sterredem @aawdrea @wpdarlingpan @strawberry--fawn @barbarathewanderer @ih8books @a-mysterious-potato @mayonesavegana @celinaiscrying
I don't know why I can't tag some people, I'm sorry 😞
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I take a huge gulp of wine as I sit in Plutarch's living room.
He did convince Snow to make me his personal assistant for this Quarter Quell, Plutarch told him it's a perfect way to show my "participation". Although I hate to keep up such a facade, I love that I can use it as an excuse to not stay, nor spend any time with Cal.
"Careful with that," Plutarch comes back into the room with his own glass, "we need you lucid for this."
"Trust me, I built a strong resistance to alcohol... no amount would help endure this shit anyway..." I mutter, looking at my fucking ring.
"You spent too much time with Abernathy, I'm afraid," he comments, he's not judging, no, he's probably just teasing.
"Or not enough," I tease back, he smirks amused by my answer.
He then suddenly turns the TV on, on display my answer to Cal's proposal.
I groan as I see that.
"I gotta say, that was smart," he compliments me, referring to the kiss.
"Could you turn it off? One fucking time was enough, thank you." I tell him.
"Not telling you about the Quartel Quell was smart too," he throws this out like nothing, my head snaps towards him.
"You little... that's why..." I start, but his proud stance stops me, "fine... smart thinking on your part too, okay."
"Thank you very much," he does a little bow before turning serious, "I'm sure now you can know more." He declares.
"Really?" I ask, I really want to know more and help, but at the same time I don't want to risk everyone.
"Yes, miss L/n. But... you have to know this, all this, will require a lot from you. From all of us, actually. So just know... you can still change your mind and no one will hold it against you." He explains, I can feel he is sincere, I know I can trust him.
I take a deep breath, this is a good chance to actually change things here... I won't pass this opportunity.
"Anything." I say and he smiles.
"Alright, our primarily goal is to get Katniss out." He starts and I nod, of course she would be the face of the revolution, "every Victor involved knows that,"
"Did you warn them? The ones involved?" I ask.
"Didn't have the chance... not everyone... I also need you to start thinking that not everyone will see this revolution starts." He says bitterly.
"I..." I don't know what to say, so I try to reason it, "yeah... of course... if not all of them know... the others would just want to survive, as always."
"Reasoning won't help you much this time," he says and he uses the remote to change the scene on the screen.
The reaping ceremony of each district.
"Cashmere and Gloss... God... they're brother and sister.."
"It never stopped the Capitol before. It just adds up to the drama." Plutarch sighs.
"I know," I sigh as the next district's reaping starts, "it may sounds cliché, but Enobaria is actually a sweet person... when you get past the teeth," I try to chuckle to ease my tension. Yeah... I might not see some of them after...
"Please tell me you were smart enough to recruit Beetee," I look at Plutarch who nods confidently.
"Oh..."
"This is where I wanted you," he says softly.
"Finnick... yeah... I... it makes sense..." I say as I see him walking up the stage.
"You need to..."
He doesn't have the time to finish his sentence before I let out a big gasp.
"Mags volunteered..." I whisper, "she... she can't... they can't... not them both... oh c'mon..."
"I'm sorry. When the time comes we will do our best to take everyone to safety, but..." he explains.
"But you can't control what happens in the arena..." I mutter, "not without raising suspects. I know."
I hear him sigh and walking closer to me, offering a comforting hand on my shoulder, I nod and we go on watching the reaping.
Johanna of course... I know she has all the skills to protect herself in there, but she's still my friend and I can't not worry. Especially knowing she has nothing left to lose.
Finally we get to 12 and of course Katniss, being the only living female victor, she's reaped.
Time for the male.
Haymitch's name is said, and for a split moment my heart breaks, but Peeta is quick to volunteer for him. I see Katniss shocked and terrified expression and I know she asked Haymitch to volunteer in his place if the roles were reverse.
"That was rigged... wasn't it?" I ask.
"Exactly, we need Haymitch here and..." he motion for me to go on.
"She needs Peeta there," I say earning a proud nod from him, "she just doesn't know it."
There's a moment of silence, where I take a second to recollect myself and take a sip of wine.
"Now," he claps his hands, "to make your participation more believable... you need to write down 2 ideas for the arena."
"What?" I ask, "I thought the arena was already decided."
"The arena yes... not the threats inside." He says.
"What do you mean?" I'm actually confused right now.
"This year arena is... quite special," he starts explaining, showing the concept on the screen, "it's divided in sections, like this, each section hosts a threat. Like these: acid fog, monkeys, this big wave... And so on."
"Acid fog? Isn't it a little too much?" I ask getting nervous for my friends.
"I told you it's gonna be hard," he gives me a sympathetic smile, "and we need your suggestions to be... authentic. It has to look like you're actually putting an effort."
I sigh, bouncing my leg.
I need to think of something that's horrifying, but safe at the same time.
They're all there... all my friends are there. The only family I've ever known since... I shake my head and drink more wine.
"Okay. Yeah... I get it." I nod, "when do you need it?"
"Tomorrow." He answers, "I have faith you can do it and... you can say you're busy working for me." He winks at me with a reassuring smile.
"That's the only good thing," I let out a humourless laugh and take one last gulp of wine before standing up. "Then I should get going. Thank you, Mr Heavensbee."
I walk towards the exit when Plutarch's voice stops me.
"One more thing," he calls and I turn my head, "even though you'll try and think of the least lethal threat... they might kill someone anyway. Keep that in mind."
I nod and walk out.
----------------
As I enter my apartment I instantly smell flowers... lots of them.
I look around and I see, probably, more than 10 bouquets of flowers.
"Oh god..." I sigh, defeated. I look at some of them, noticing most are from "admirers" congratulating me for my engagement.
But there are three that catch my eyes more than the others.
One, huge, bouquet is made by all sort of flowers, I don't think I've ever seen such variety of flowers in the first place. I look at the card... I groan, it's from Cal.
"My love, everyday I count the days that separate us from being finally together.
I can't wait for you to be mine.
Properly mine.
Enjoy your job, my sweetness, and happy Hunger Games!
Love,
Cal Kingslay. "
I throw the whole bouquet with the rest, and just look at the other. It's simple and small, my favourite flowers and a few seashells here and there, the thing holding the bouquet it's not paper... it's fish nets... Finnick. I unconsciously smile as I take the card.
"I wanT to congRatUlate you, my SweeT girl!
TheY tOld me the news jUst now! Miss L/n, You shouLd've tOld me, I've neVer beEn so happy!
Congratulations!
Dario."
He signs each letters, making it look like it was ink fallen from the pen... smart.
"I trust you, my love"
He even signed it with an anagram of his name. I let out a laugh at that and move to the last bouquet.
Even smaller then Finnick's, a few green leaves are like a frame for the one, white rose.
I shakily take the card in my hand.
"Congratulations on your engagement, my dear. I look forward to see what you'll come up with for our Games.
I'm sure one day you'll make a fine Gamemaker."
There's no sign, not that he needed to...
"Gamemaker... yeah... sure." I scoff.
I go to the kitchen to get myself some wine. As I'm about to pour a glass, I look at the bottle and just... take it all with me to my room.
I sit on the desk in my room and, as I take some gulps from the bottle, I try to come up with some ideas.
Plutarch mentioned a few potentially lethal threat already, I mean... acid fog, deadly monkeys, that I'm sure will be modified.
What to do, what to do...
Other animals maybe, but a non lethal one... something that creates a hassle, but not death.
Bugs?
I shake my head, no, they would make it poisonous no matter what my suggestion is.
Something else, something else.
Jabberjays. Yes!
I write down my idea and take the bottle to take a big gulp, but the bottle slips from my grasp and falls on the desk spilling the liquid all over the desk and the pavement.
"Shit!"
I manage to safe the paper I was writing on and I immediately go take a towel to wipe the wine off.
As I kneel down cleaning the liquid, I find myself staring at the little drops of wine falling from the desk to the floor.
The dark liquid looks a lot like... blood.
Blood rain.
-------------
I walk nervously behind Plutarch, he just told me Snow wanted to hear my ideas himself, so now, as I'm walking I clench my fists nervously.
"You couldn't have told me sooner?" I ask him.
"He didn't ask me sooner," Plutarch answers as we finally stand out of Snow's office, "you wrote it?"
"Of course," I slightly scoff at his answer.
"Then take a deep breath and... show time," Plutarch smiles and knock on the door.
"Come in," Snow's voice gives us permission to enter.
"President," Plutarch greets him.
"Good morning, sir," I say, putting up the best 'diligent student' appearance.
"Good morning, Mr Heavensbee," he nods towards Plutarch and then turns to me, "and what a pleasure, miss L/n."
"You said you wanted to hear her ideas for the arena, right?" Plutarch starts.
"Oh, of course!" Snow's suddenly happy, as if he's about to hear a good story, "tell me, my dear girl, what did you think of?"
If it were a different universe this could've seemed a sweet exchange. The old "mentor" interested in his protégé ideas...
"When Plutarch showed me the arena and the already existing threats, I have to admit I was intrigued," I start and I see, from the corner of my eyes Plutarch smiling proudly, "but at the same time, I was a little bored." I say and that earned a surprised 'oh?' from Snow, "I mean... from those you either die or survive... so I thought of something more psychological."
"Oh, now that's interesting, my dear, please go on." Snow is pleased so far.
"I thought of a section of the arena where... uh..." I pretend to stutter for a second, to give him the impression that I'm nervous because I care for his opinion.
"Don't be shy, I'm open to all suggestions,"
"I thought of a blood rain... sir." I say.
I see him pondering the idea, then a smile creeps it's way on his face, it makes me sick.
"I like it," he finally says looking at Plutarch, "she's smart, isn't she?"
"Very smart, sir." Plutarch agrees.
"I'm even more curious to hear the other idea, please don't leave me hanging," Snow's 'sweet' tone almost freezes me to the spot, but I swallow hard and just ignore this feeling.
"Jabberjays." Is all I say.
He looks a little taken aback, and motion for me to elaborate.
"I thought about using Jabberjays that imitate the screams of people the tributes know." I say, pretending to feel unsure of my idea, "maybe create a sort of an invisible wall that prevents them from escaping if they finds the birds."
Snow looks at me, considering me for a moment, then he smiles, that sick smile once again.
"You were right in recruiting her, Mr Heavensbee. Good thinking, miss L/n, very good thinking." He compliments Plutarch and me.
"Thank you, sir." I smile.
"No, thank you," he says, "now, one more thing before I dismiss you."
I nod and stay put, even though I was ready to run, or better walk very fast, out of here.
"This role of assistant Gamemaker won't exonerate you from your duty to assist the mentors," he tells me.
"I wouldn't dream of it, sir, I've always taken my role very seriously," I tell him, faking pride as I speak.
"I know, my dear." He smiles, almost as if he knows I wasn't exactly fond of it, "we were supposed to randomly assign you to one district, like every year, but we thought to just let you stick to 12. Apparently the Capitol's people loved your... friendship with the two victors." He says the word 'friendship' with a not so convinced tone, almost repulsed.
"Of course, sir." I nod my head, eager to just get out of here.
"But," he adds, probably keeping me longer to see when I'll crumble, I look briefly at Plutarch who keeps his confidence stance, "you'll be assisting all of the districts." I look at him confused and he continues, "I mean, you'll be present during the training sessions and will help."
"Oh, yes, sir, of course." I nod again.
"That's all." He claps his hands, satisfied, "the tributes arrive today so... better be there to welcome them home."
'Home'...
"I'm going right now, sir." I promptly tell him, he smiles and motions me to go and to Plutarch to stay.
"Send my regards to Cal Kingslay when you see him," I hear him say as I walk out, not bothering to answer him I just go straight to the tributes living centre.
--------------
I enter the building and see Haymitch, Effie, Katniss and Peeta arriving.
"Well, well, well, aren't you lot a sight for sore eyes?" I say once I'm close enough to pull Peeta into a hug.
"Oh! We got the Princess this year too, uh? The president is spoiling us," Haymitch jokes ans I roll my eyes as I hug Katniss.
"Rather spoiling me," I greet Effie too, in the perfect 'Capitol style', "lots of opportunities."
"I figured," Haymitch says wrapping his arms around me.
"Now," I say holding my arms open, theatrically, "let's take you to your apartments."
I start walking towards the elevator, heading to the attic, again.
------------
Once inside we start to have lunch, the atmosphere is quite tense before Effie breaks the silence.
"All right," she starts, clearing her throat, "before we begin, I've had a thought."
"You don't say?" Haymitch jokes, unimpressed.
"Be nice," I tell him, throwing a balled-up napkin at him.
"Katniss has her gold Mockingjay pin. I have my hair. I'm going to get you three something gold." She declares, as if it were something obvious.
Haymitch looks at both me and Peeta, confused, before asking why.
"A token." Effie explains, "Show them we are a team. And they can't just..." she starts getting emotional and Katniss takes her hands.
"Thank you." She tells her, meaning it.
Effie might be too theatrical sometimes, but she's so much more than that, I'm grateful I got to know this side of her. I take her hand too.
"That's really sweet, Effie." I smile at her, "and... thank you for including me."
I notice both Peeta and Katniss sharing a look as if I said something unbelievable, but I ignore it.
Not the time.
"Now..." Effie composes herself, "everything will be different, because it's a Quarter Quell. The Capitol has spared no expense. A new training centre. New Tribute living quarters. And of course, a very special arena."
I tense at that, I took part in that...
"But this year you'll be facing other Victors." I step in, " all Capitol favourites. Smart, cunning, skilled... angry. And they all know one another. You two are the outsiders."
" I want you guys to forget everything you think you know about the Games. Last year was child's play." Haymitch starts explaining, he's the best to mentor them about a Quarter Quell, "this year, you're dealing with all experienced killers."
"All right," Peeta speaks up, "what does it mean for us?"
"Allies." I tell him, "you'll be needing allies."
"Okay. I think that if..." Peeta's reply is quickly interrupted.
"You're not the problem." I say and, I don't have to say anything more, Haymitch is already pointing at Katniss.
"No." She sternly says.
"A little help, Haymitch?" I ask him.
"Look, you're starting at a disadvantage. Most of these people have been friends for years."
"That just puts us higher on their killing list." She replies, annoyed.
I roll my eyes, she needs to do her part.
"Do it your own way, but I know these people. You go it alone, their first move is gonna be to hunt you down." Haymitch keeps explaining, patiently, "both of you."
"Katniss, come on," Peeta's sweet tone seems to convince her... a tiny bit.
She sighs deeply, which usually mean she's gonna listen, even though she doesn't agree.
"How could any of us even trust each other?" She then asks.
"It's not about trust. It's about staying alive," he states.
Peeta and Katniss look at each other and finally Katniss nod her head.
"Great!" I cheer, "time for some brainstorming, shall we?" And I stand up walking to the living room.
They soon follow and Haymitch turns the TV on, so they can see who the other Victors are, and who might seem like a good ally.
"Cashmere and Gloss. Brother and sister. District one. They one back-to-back Games. Capitol favourites. Lots of sponsors." He shows them the siblings.
"They will be lethal." I add and Haymitch nods, strongly agreeing.
"And the other half of the Career Pack, Brutus and Enobaria."
"What's with her teeth?" Of course, Katniss asks about the teeth.
"She... well... she had them filed into fangs..." I respond, "so she could... rip people's throat out better."
"She's committed. I'll give her that." Peeta comments, I can sense some tension in him... which is very understandable.
"Wiress and Beetee," Haymitch keeps on presenting the tributes, "not fighters, but brilliant."
"Very brilliant," I agree.
"And weird." He adds, earning a glare from me, "real texh-savvy. He won his Games by electrocuting six tributes at once." He changes the scene again, "the Morphlings. Masters of camouflage. Basically, won their Games by hiding until everyone was dead. Self-medicating ever since. Which I applaud. Not a threat."
We arrive at District 4 reaping.
"Finnick Odair, right?" Katniss asks.
Haymitch looks at me, silently telling me to explain this one myself, there's a hint of a smirk on his face that makes me roll my eyes for, what feels like, the millionth time today.
"Yep. The one and only." I starts, "he won his Games at 14. He's the youngest Victor ever... of course modesty is his peculiarity." I joke.
"You're kidding."
"Kinda," I chuckle, "he's very confident. Very. But... he's the Capitol's darling. They all love him here." Unfortunately, I want to add. "He's smart, he's skilled at combat, especially... especially in water."
"What about weaknesses?" Peeta asks, interested.
"Only one..." I sigh, deeply, "Mags. She... she volunteer for Annie. Mags was his mentor, the year that I was assigned to 4, she raised him, basically. He will try to protect her, even though it would expose him."
"A guy like that has to know she's not gonna make it," Katniss shakes her head, unconvinced, Haymitch looks at me knowingly, "I bet when it really comes down to it, he won't protect her."
I really want to hit her right now, but I know it's not her fault, she thinks this because it's what the Capitol wanted everyone else to think. That's what he had to pretend to be.
"Well... she's an amazing woman, Katniss, I... I just hope that... if... w-when she goes, she goes quickly." I stutter out. It took everything in me to say that... I want to hope we will rescue everyone before that happens... I really do.
I space out as Haymitch goes on explaining and introducing the other tributes.
I can feel his eyes on me every now and then, but I stopped pay attention minutes ago now.
Mags is the mother I never had... if there is one person who deserves to see a free Panem, it's her.
---------‐---
I was walking on the train heading to the restaurant car where I found an old lady sitting there, drinking a cup of tea.
"Hi..." I shyly said.
"Oh hello, dear." She greeted me with such a kind smile, I felt so much better and less nervous.
"I'm... I'm Y/n." I started to introduce myself, but her hand gently taking mine stopped me.
"I know, dear. I'm Mags." Another kind smile, "you're here to assist me, right?"
"Yeah." My hands were getting sweaty... I was so nervous.
"Hey, no need to worry about it. We can do it." She reassured me.
"I hope so..." I muttered under my breath.
She sighed and offer a seat to me, I took it and stared at the cups on the table.
"I watched you last year," her voice was soft as she spoke, "you were assigned to... what district?"
"5"
"But you were helping the little one from 11, right?" She asked.
I snapped my head to her, eyes wide open.
"Please, don't worry about it. I never told anyone." She assured me, handing me a warm cup, "I just meant that I saw you're not like the rest of them, my dear. You care."
"My tributes didn't want to listen, they were older than me and thought I was just a spy... which is understandable." I sadly kept my head low. "That boy from 11 was my age and... he was having trouble with some essential survival techniques."
"He got pretty far thanks to those." She tried to make me feel better.
"Not far enough," I bitterly replied.
"I'm sorry." I let her take my hand again, "it's not a consolation, I know, trust me, but... I have a feeling we can do it."
"They won't trust me," I told her, referring to the tributes from 4.
"Not at first... and most likely not the girl... but the boy, he seems to be more open to suggestions." She explained.
"I'm not sure he would accept suggestions from me."
"He's a smart one. Same age as you. Just be yourself and he will trust you." She smiled.
I considered her for a moment before nodding. Hope growing a little more.
The door of the car opening had my head turning immediately.
"My dear Y/n," Mags stood up and walked towards the boy entering, "this is Finnick Odair. Finnick, this is Y/n."
--------------
"Are you okay?" Haymitch's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
"Uh? Yeah... yeah, sorry, I zoned out." I apologise.
"I noticed." He sits with me.
"Where are they?" I ask, noticing no one else was in sight.
"Getting ready for the parade." He answers.
"Right... I better get going too. I have to check everyone is ready..." I tiredly sigh as I stand up, but Haymitch softly pulls me back down.
"If you take a few minutes it won't be a tragedy." He tells me, "what's going on in that head of yours?"
"Nothing... I just started to think about Mags." I whisper, afraid someone might hear.
"Plutarch gave you the speech?" He asks and I nod, "I'm really sorry, Y/n."
"It's okay... I mean, it's not, but I think it was inevitable... she would've never let anyone else go, not if she had any say in it." I tell him, "she's strong." I see him starting to speak but I beat him to it, "I know better than to keep my hopes up, trust me, I know."
He just sighs and wrap one reassuring arms around my shoulder.
"I really better get going now, gotta check on those outfits." I stand up.
"You do that, sweetheart." Haymitch smiles at me and I walk to the elevator.
--------------
I walk out of the elevator heading to where the parade is about to begin and I instantly loom for someone.
I spot immediately Peeta talking to Cinna, who's probably refining last minutes details.
"Hello." I greet once I'm close enough, Cinna turns around giving me a small smile and a hug. "You look good, mr Mellark."
"Only with his help it's possible." Peeta, humble as usual, replies pointing at Cinna.
"I'm not a magician, I can make people look good if they're worthy." Cinna shakes his head, waving off the compliment.
"I couldn't agree more." I sigh, "so, are you lot ready? Where's Katniss?"
"She's should be here soon, her dress is a little more complicated than Peeta's." Cinna answers, "and, since you're here, I was thinking about them not doing anything out there."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I mean, no waving, no smiling, nothing of sort. Act like they're above them. What do you think?" He explains, genuinely interested in my opinion.
"I think it's perfect." I smile and he return it.
"Oh, there she is." Peeta points behind us, I turn seeing Katniss talking to Finnick, who's a lot close. I hope he's not putting up his flirting persona, I don't think Katniss would trust him so easily then.
Peeta excuses himself to join her, just as Finnick walks away... spotting me.
"Snow asked..." Cinna gently nudges my arm and lowers his voice, "or better, ordered me to make her wear a wedding dress for the interview."
"Of course..." I roll my eyes. "You good with that?
"Oh yeah...I got a great idea for it." He says, I look into his eyes seeing determination so I don't ask more questions.
"Better get them ready to go, it's almost time." I tell him.
Cinna walks to Katniss and Peeta and I turn to check if someone else needs a hand with something or needs advice, unlikely, but never say never.
I see Mags petting a horse so I decide to go to her.
As soon as she sees me her smile grows ten times, warming my heart.
"You look very beautiful," I tell her, once we're close enough I hug her, "I'm so sorry." I whisper into her ear.
She pulls away gently, looking at me with that kind smile that always makes me feel better. She caresses my cheek with her hand, reassuringly, nodding her head to tell me that it's alright.
I nod too, taking a deep breath.
"Do you think I look presentable?" A very familiar voice says from behind me.
I look at Mags, rolling my eyes, glad I made her laugh a little.
I turn around, fully admir... noticing his naked chest and the golden fish net tied at his... oh shit.
"My eyes are up here, sweetheart." He smirks and I just turn my head away, shaking it as I try to pull myself together.
"Did your stylists finished the fabric?" I finally say, "I could've ordered some, if they told me."
"Of course," he smiles and walk closer to me, leaning down to whisper into my ear, "just between us... I'm wearing it just for you."
My head snaps to him, our faces mere inches apart. I notice his eyes looking down to my lips, I instantly put some distance walking up to district 3.
"And here I thought you would never come to say hi," Beetee waves.
"Did you lose all hope in me? And here I thought you were the smart one." I tease back.
"It's a pity seeing each other here, under these circumstances." Wiress shakes my hand.
"I know. I wish it were different..." I look down, sad and ashamed too, Beetee softly touches my arm. I look up at him noticing him mouthing something on the line of 'it's gonna be fine' so I smile at him. "Well, don't you two look great?"
I compliment them, just before the announcer warned us of the beginning.
I wave them goodbye for now and head back, watching every district ride out there.
When it's Finnick's turn he turns to me and winks at me, earning a big eye roll. When it's finally District 12 turn as they pass by I nod my head, encouraging them. I see them looking st each other and straighten their back proudly.
I walk towards the end of the parade, where they should get off the chariots and head back to the elevators, and I wait.
I look at them in the distance, taking deep breaths to calm my nerves.
All of a sudden I feel someone watching me from behind.
"You did a pretty good job, my sweetness." His voice makes me wince.
I turn around, showing the usual fake smile I show to everyone in the Capitol, pretending to be happy to see him.
"Cal... hi." I say, holding back from walking away as he nears, "what are you doing here?"
"I missed you. I didn't scare you, didn't I?" He says with a smile, that clearly shows he's proud he did.
"Of course, not. I was just thinking." I tell him sweetly.
"What about?" He ask, curious.
"Well, I have a lot to do these days and when they're back I'll have to make sure everything is organised." I tell him. "And also, taking part in the making of the Games... Plutarch asked me to write down some ideas."
This is probably the only time I'm glad I have this job, if I didn't, Cal would've kept me basically locked up, in his apartment. 'All to himself'... the thought makes me shiver.
"Would you share them with me?" He whispers.
"I can't ruin the fun, can I?" I say back.
"Aahh... you're killing me, babe." He shakes his head chuckling.
If only...
"No special treatment, Cal." I smile, feeling uneasy from the way he's looking at me.
In that moment, thankfully, I hear the parade is ending, which means everybody is about to get back.
"Such a diligent girl." He moves his hand to take mine. I let out a nervous laugh and a 'thanks', and finally, one district at a time, they're back.
I lock eyes with some of the Tributes, who noticing Cal with me, tense and give me sympathetic smile.
Then Finnick's back.
As soon as he sees me, he can't keep up the fake smile and his expression darkens.
"Well... I'm sorry, but I have to go now. I'll see you." I say, starting to turn around, but his hand grabs my arm. Rather harshly, which makes my eyes widen at that.
"We hardly see each other these days... I miss you." He looms over me, a dark look in his eyes.
"Well... uh..." I clear my throat, looking at the tributes still arriving, "I have a job to.. to do."
I see Mags and Finnick, she has a hand on his arm, to stop him from coming here.
"Good thing that when we're married you won't need to work, then." He tells me directly into my ear, "I would be able to have you any day I want."
"Wouldn't that be a dream..?" I choke out, my throat tightens. I still look at Finnick, more to check he doesn't intervenes than anything.
"There you are!" We both look at the source of the sound, Johanna.
I let out a sigh of relief as she walks closer.
"I was looking for you." She says, "they told me to ask you for the schedule."
"Yes... yes! I got it." I tell her.
Johanna pretends to notice Cal just now and extends her hand towards him.
"Oh hey there! You must be the lucky one, uh?" Johanna greets him.
Cal looks at her sceptically before shaking her hand.
"Yes, that's me."
"So nice to finally meet you, she talks about you all the time!" Johanna's (fake) cheery personality and flattery seem to work on Cal, who smiles smugly, "you don't mind if I steal her, do you?"
Before Cal could answer, she pulls me to her linking arms and walks away.
"God, he looks so annoying." She groans.
"He is... he is." I sigh, relieved.
"I thought about stepping in before Finnick over there could rip his eyes out," she teases. "So... how are the lovebirds?"
"They're completely in love." I tell her, she nods smiling knowingly.
I spot them talking with district 11 tributes, I wave at Haymitch, letting him know I'll be up in a second.
"Ugh... he still looking this way," Johanna complains getting in front of me, "is he always like this?"
"Even worse." I roll my eyes.
"Alright," she take the end of her dress in her hands showing it to me, "Plutarch told me."
I understand now what she's doing with her dress, she's pretending to show it to me, so it looks like we're talking about the dress.
"I know," I say touching the fabric, pretending to check it out, "you're sure about doing this?"
"Of course I am," she now turns to 'make me see her back', "never been more sure."
"I'm just sorry," I tell her, motioning for her to turn back around.
"No need too," she smiles, an emotionless smile, "oh he's gone.. finally."
"Thanks for saving me," I tell her.
"Anytime," she says, she turns her head towards the elevator, "well... I'll go introduce myself."
"Be nice." I tell her, she winks at me and walks away to the elevator with Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch.
I go over the last details, seeing the horses are attended to, the chariots are about to be put away, everything seems fine.
I then walk to the elevator myself, I lean against the elevator's wall as soon as I enter.
Before the doors can close, someone rushes in, I look up finding myself face to face with Finnick.
Being in a confined space with a shirtless Finnick is...
"Hi, my love."
Shit.
56 notes · View notes
sheawritesstuff · 7 months
Text
Too Much
[Huxley x Unnamed Partner]
[Angst - Hurt / No Comfort - 1143 words]
[Contains descriptions of a generally not-great relationship and feelings of inadequacy caused by said relationship - There's a little bit of a sweet twist ending, but only kinda so don't get your hopes up too high]
“I have never thought you were too much. Why would you think that, Hux?” The question was simple, but the answer was anything but. Huxley took a deep breath and prepared to explain the backstory of his deepest-rooted insecurity. 
~
“Why are you giving me this?” They turned the small gift in their hands, looking it over with a harsh stare. Huxley shifted uncomfortably as he searched for the words to explain that he just wanted to. 
“I dunno… I saw it and thought you’d like it, so I got it for you.” He smiled nervously, tugging at the hem of his shirt. They looked back and forth from the trinket to his awkward stance. 
“Well, I don’t. This,” they held it up to his face. “This is trash, Huxley. I don’t like trash.” They threw the frog on the ground, shattering it into tiny green shards. Huxley stared down at the debris, his jaw dropping open slightly. He looked back up to see his partner glaring at him. “Now clean up your mess,” they hissed. 
He almost cried right then and there, but he held it in. He didn’t need to add more fuel to the fire that was their temper. So he swept up the broken glass and threw it away without another word. They sat on his couch and watched him through the entire process, never once offering to help. Oh, and they made him apologize for wasting their time and his money.
He tried making up for it, tried telling them he loved them. The only response he earned was a mumbled, “Mhmm, you too.” But that was close enough, right?
~
And there was the time he took them to see his favorite movie. They were on their phone almost the whole time, but he tried his hardest not to notice. They watched maybe fifteen total minutes of the whole film. But as they were leaving, he casually asked what they thought of it. 
“It was fine, I guess. Don’t know why you like it so much.” They stared off into space as they talked to him, clearly ignoring his attempts at appeasement. Huxley smiled, stepping closer as they walked out of the theater so they could hear him better. He rambled about what he liked about it, the different plot points he found interesting, the character design, the development, the-
“You talk a lot,” they said, cutting him off. “I think you should work on that.” They turned to look at him for the first time since he’d picked them up that afternoon. He froze, letting them walk ahead of him. He stared for a long moment, feeling a dull ache in his chest as he watched the person who was supposed to love him show him nothing but complete disregard. 
~
The only time they ever actually seemed interested in him was in the bedroom. Their hands roamed over his skin - grabbing, touching, exploring. 
“God, I love your body,” they’d whisper. “I love how strong you are. The way your muscles flex is so fuckin’ hot.” This was the only time they ever said things like that. They never loved him, or his personality, or his humor. They loved his body. 
It felt good, though. The attention, their body against his, the kisses left along his sensitive skin. So he put up with it, hoping maybe they would change. Maybe they would be nicer if he did what they wanted. Just maybe…
After they were done, Huxley would try to be close to them, cuddle close to their warmth as they came down from the peak of pleasure. They shoved him off, scoffing as they scrambled to gather their discarded clothes. 
“You’re so fuckin’ clingy. I don’t do that shit.” 
He all but begged for just a few minutes of closeness, of actual intimacy. All he got was a hissed “I’ve gotta go” before they were popping their shoes on and practically running out the door. 
So he was left alone in a puddle of his own shame. The ebbing warmth of passion mixed with the heat of embarrassment made him uncomfortably warm in his newfound solitude. So he cleaned himself up in silence, just like every other time. 
~
A few days after one of these dalliances, they called and demanded to come over, saying they needed to talk about something. He let them in with a smile and was promptly denied a hug.
“I’m breaking up with you, Huxley,” they said coldly. “I’m done with you.” 
He stood there in his doorway, taken aback by the bluntness of it all. Whatever questions he hoped to ask died in his throat. He stared at the floor for a long moment, trying to wrap his brain around all of it. 
“Did…” his voice was quiet, just barely audible. “Did I do something wrong?” They stared at him with an expression somewhere between disbelief and disgust. They clicked their tongue and looked him up and down. 
“Yes, Huxley. You did a lot of things wrong.” Their tone was sharp, barely concealing the anger bubbling beneath the surface. They glared at him, obviously waiting for him to start groveling, begging for forgiveness, something. But he didn’t. 
“Oh, ok. Can you tell me what I did? So I can be better?” The earnest request was enough to set them off. They started pacing in circles, yelling in his general direction but never actually looking at him. 
“God, I can’t do this anymore! You’re just so-” they waved their arms around wildly, searching for the words. “You’re too much, Huxley! You’re just too much for me to deal with, and I can’t do it anymore!” They screamed, still motioning with their hands. They paused a moment when they realized what they said. They took a deep breath and glared at him. “There, I said it. Are you happy now? You’ve got your explanation, so just leave me the fuck alone, alright?” 
They stormed off, slamming his door behind them and leaving him alone for the last time. 
So that was his story. The long-awaited explanation of why his walls were built so high. He stared down at his own hands, too nervous to meet Damien’s eyes. 
“So, uh, yeah. That’s why, I guess,” Huxley mumbled. A gentle hand cupped his cheek, turning his attention back up to his lover’s face. A soft smile that actually reached his eyes was plastered across his face. 
“I have never thought you were too much, Hux,” Damien’s words were quiet and genuine. “But if I ever, and I mean ever, make you feel like that, tell me. Ok?” Huxley nodded, leaning into his touch and letting his eyes drift closed. His boyfriend pressed a kiss to his forehead and pulled him into a hug. This felt good, felt safe.
“I love you, Huxley.” 
“I love you too, Dames.” 
23 notes · View notes
yahoodarling · 7 months
Text
Yandere Thoma/Ayato X Isekaied GN Reader
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Warnings: Posted in comments to avoid spoilers, please read them if you wish to avoid potential triggers.
Chapter 2: 6k+- words, Chapter 3
Full Fic option: 20k words
The words Ayato left with you clung to your mind, in all this time interacting with ‘characters’ you haven't once seen anything alter the course of the world yet. Perhaps it's a twisted Butterfly effect and your actions have changed something you cannot see but Teyvat was still intact and no news of a newly declared war has come about (for whatever reasons your actions may potentially had started a war in the first place). Perhaps the time of paranoia can finally come to an end and you can ‘live' a little, truly live here if it means spending the rest of your life in this world. You also owe it to Thoma. You've done everything in your power to avoid him when he's done nothing less but show genuine interest in getting closer to you and with Ayato's words you can confirm that you've hurt him. In your time knowing him, truly knowing him, not as a character reading lines of script, not as a collection of pixels on a screen but as a real person with flesh and feelings, it's really made you appreciate him more than anything one could feel for a fictional character. Thoma is not fictional in this world and in this world he looked to you for a friendship, you lead him on in your weakness and now he has to face the loss because of your choices. Ayato was right, you truly don't have the right to make this decision but the least you can do is make up for your mistakes and keep your promises. Teyvat isn't going to fall apart just because you want a friend, what led you to think you could change the fate of the universe in the first place? Fate is a strong thing, it will not break so easily just because you exist. The rest of the ‘plot’ will go on as normal, the ‘hero’ is most likely still in Sumeru sorting out their issues and that ‘hero’ can go on and change Teyvats fate, you can sit still, live a normal life and they can keep the story going. 
You decide the best way to apologise is to show Thoma you genuinely care and the best way to do that, (other than actually talking to him) is to do what he's already established means a lot to him, make something. Thoma loves to see the effort people put into something much more than the actual execution of it. You are hardly a master baker yet he savours what you bake like it's been done by a professional, so play to your strengths. You finish your work day, inform your boss you will no longer be taking the overtime and rest for the day. Not wanting to rush into things too quickly you wait a few days and in your spare time make a batch of miso butter cookies and a simple fresh loaf of shokupan on the day you decide to meet him. It being a weekend you were off work but that also meant Thoma wouldn't be in the city, he does his trips here only during the week when he needs specific supplies for his upkeep of the clans residence. Taking a walk to the Kamisato Clan is quite the walk but you owe it to him to get this done, he can't be the one to keep chasing after you, you need to show you want to be close as well. 
You arrive midday, the walls of the clan still so daunting, and walk to the entrance where the clans guards await, noticing your presence long before you could actually stand before them. 
“Good day, I am here to deliver something to Thoma.”
The guard eyes you but responds, “He's out. If you have any deliveries you can leave them here where they will be checked before entering the clan.”
Thoma isn't here? Shit. That makes this whole thing a bust. 
“Do you know where he's gone or when he'll come back? I'd prefer to see him in person.”
“No. Please leave any packages here and-” the guard was cut off as the man of the house walked up to the entrance, Ayato offered a slight smile, perhaps to ease your nerves at the guard's menacing stance though that is his job, before turning to said guard.
“They are a guest and are welcome to the clan. Thank you for serving your duties but they are free to enter.”
The guard bowed and uttered a small, “Yes my lord.”
Ayato then stood to the side to allow you in, his arm outstretching the direction in welcoming. 
“Ayaka and I were just having tea in the break of our schedules. Please do join us.”
Well it seems you will be meeting Ayaka (for the second time), not expected, not something you were prepared for but if you are to truly let go of your worries then meeting Ayaka should not be a problem. 
You follow suit and see Ayaka sitting at the table on the outside courtyard , she smiled in greeting as you and Ayato approached. 
“It is a pleasure to meet you, I am Ayaka Kamisato.” she nodded in greeting. It's a little difficult to respond to people such as Ayaka and Ayato whom are so versed in proper Inazumaian etiquette but you've been in Inazuma for long enough to have picked up some things. You bow slightly in turn, “A pleasure as well Lady Ayaka, thank you for welcoming me to your home.” You responded in a similar way when first meeting Ayato though you imagine conversing with him from now on would be a lot more relaxed after your previous meetings. Said man indicated for you to sit beside his sister which you did, form a lot less refined compared to the pair of siblings. 
“Ayaka, this is the person Thoma has been talking about as of late. A new friend to the Kamisato Clan.”
“Oh! It's truly wonderful to put a face to a name. Thoma has spoken only positives about you. What brings you here?”
You look down to the wooden box in your hand, your apology gift. 
“I need to speak with Thoma and give him something.”
You don't even need to look at Ayato to know that he's fully aware of what your meeting with Thoma is all about.
“I see. He's gone out for a walk at the moment but should be back soon. Anyway,” it felt like ice drawn at the blunt way she changed the topic. She quickly turned back to Ayato, more specifically the paper in her hands, with a look of true delight on her face. 
“The travellers' tales of Sumeru are incredible! Such a different place but the stories they are embarking on are memorising.” her eyes had a sheen to them, not the gloss of tears but of something you couldn't exactly tell what it embodied. 
“Their letter details so much, the food, the culture, the people as well as all the situations they've ended up in.” she giggles, lifting her hand to cover her joy but not truly caring about it since she was in such comfortable company which is… odd considering you just met. 
Ayato looks at you with a quick strained smile, almost to say, ‘sorry she's overlooking you’ but quickly returned to paying his attention to Ayaka. 
“I am not surprised they often find themself in trouble haha though it is good to know they are enjoying their time there. Do they mention when they may return to Inazuma?”
Ayaka looks slightly dejected at that, “No. They say they need to stay in Sumeru for now but will come to the next major festival if they can.” she takes a deep breath in and releases it. “I hope it's soon. I want to hear all these stories from their mouth rather than just as words on a page.”
So Ayaka also has that ‘crush’ on the traveller which was very heavily implied in the game. That must be the reason she is so relaxed and open with her emotions here. 
She looked back down at the letter, a soft smile developing. “I hear Yoimiya is planning on taking a trip to Sumeru in the future, perhaps I can ask her to deliver a token from me to the traveller while she is there.”
Ayato's smile remained as always listening to his sister but the small crinkle of the wrinkles by his eyes increased slightly for but a moment before relaxing. His wrinkles… a pity the game models of the characters didn't implement small details such as those. It would have been interesting to see what small features the characters had ‘realistically’ that weren't shown. Would Jean have bags around her eyes? Would Albedos skin have a slight difference of texture than normal? Perhaps Cyno has a more defined tan or Xiangling having slight burn blisters on her hands from cooking and her vision? You've only had a closer look at Thoma and he was so much more ‘real’ than just a 2D image which was slightly unsettling at first but normal now. What interesting things to think about…
“How about you join her?”
Your fascination died instantly. What? No, Ayaka will NOT be joining Yoimiya, that's not how it goes. Ayaka will deny or something will stop her.
“Really? But what of my responsibilities? I don't even know if she'd accept me joining.”
Exactly. 
“Do not fret, I will have your duties covered and Yoiymiya is your friend, I think she'd appreciate getting to share the trip with you. You deserve a break as well and I see no better opportunity than this.”
No, no, no, no you won't because she's not going. 
Ayaka stood up, elation beaming off of her while she clutched the letter closer to her. 
“Thank you brother! Oh I must ask Yoimiya right away!” 
She bowed and made haste out the residence not even sparing you a glance, to her you were a nobody. Her mind was solely on making this trip. 
You sat in shock, in the past her forgetting about you would be amazing, proof of your ‘npcness’ but you only felt stunned. Ayaka doesn't go to Sumeru, only Yoiymiya does for her second story quest, Ayaka is not involved, Ayaka does not show up, Ayaka is not part of that plot!
“I'm glad she can have a chance to experience the world outside the residence though having to cover for her duties will prove tedious.” Ayato shook his head, then chuckled. “But I'm not opposed to it for this.”
Just how- how has your involvement changed this?! It must be your fault, it can only be your fault, the story has gone on exactly as it was shown in the game so why is this different? What could you have done to make Ayaka go? 
“Hmm?” Ayato noticed your silence, “Is something the matter?”
You swallow the spit that had accumulated in your mouth and regained as much composure as possible. “Yes yes I am fine I just- I just need to go have a quick walk by myself. I will be back soon.” It's all you could say. Your mind switched to autodrive in shock and walked you away, neither mind nor eyes truly focusing on anything but your legs walking you a path you've taken many times before yet never once stepped on, into the forests behind the clan house. 
Walking in the tanuki filled forest may not have been the best idea, you recall ingame how Hilichurls and Fatui mages are ‘spawned’ here yet your walk was nothing but peaceful. The sound of the stream was somewhat calming, it helped you to think logically. Just because Ayaka says she's going to go on this trip doesn't mean she actually will, something will happen that will prohibit her from going to Sumeru. She is a very important character, her absence in Inazuma may cause something terrible to happen that didn't ingame. Maybe she helps a person in need ‘canonically’ but because in this existence she leaves for Sumeru she isn't there to save said person, that person dies or many people die which could upset their families which could cause them to lose faith in the (police) which could lead to disrupt in the city which could… which could… leave blood spilt? 
You stopped your rambling thoughts, eyes zoning in on the pools of blood on the moss covered stones. Whatever caused this is nothing you should get involved in, until a sound of a strangled hiss, electro energy popping and fizzing in the air, a shriek of vengeance and then… nothing. The sound came from further ahead to the right behind a large mound, you watch to see the source, feet ready to run away as the slightest threat. Footsteps sounded and around the bend came a semi dirt covered Thoma, looking ahead with a solemn expression, seemingly dazed. His chest huffed out periodic breaths of air to regain himself and latestly wiped off his brow and took out a cloth and dabbed at the specks of blood on his clothes and arms, while doing so he turned and saw you standing motionless, eyes awide and still in semi shock. Almost instantly devastation fell upon his face, his eyes sunk in immediate sadness, he just looked at you for a second, whatever his thoughts were were his own, before quickly putting the cloth away and rushed to step towards you. 
“Please just- i'm just doing my duty, I don't mean-, i'm not…” the more he tried to justify himself the more he seemed to sink into his own hole. 
“I know this looks bad, you are the last person I'd want to see me like this but-” he took a deep breath in, steeled himself to elaborate properly, “it's to protect the clan. Fatui spies, rogue samurai, rival clans, a lot of them come here to spy on the clan or put us at risk, i'm just doing my duty and protecting the people who protect me.” he looked at you earnestly, hoping for your understanding, hoping you don't see him as a murderer, hoping to retrain the image of an amicable person but his soft smile of a plea also held the acceptance that you may not acknowledge his reasonings, that you'd turn your back and leave. 
You do understand, you do know Thoma isn't a harmless friendly face, that he can and will do what must be done for the people he cares about, it's just that… it's a little hard to easily be calmed even with that notion when the very real blood and remains of that dedication is shown spewed across the forests floor, it's not something any ‘average’ person would not react to but still, this is Thoma, he has his reasons, it was done in the name of goodwill and he's trying to explain it to you. 
You take a few steps towards him and offer a hesitant smile, “I get it, I don't see you as any less than before.”
Before you even regain your senses properly you feel his arms around you, tight and secure, his hand cupping the back of your head and hiding his face in your shoulder, so desperate to have the reassurance that it's okay but still hesitant to look at you, like you may change your mind. 
“Thank you… archons above I was worried I've scared you. My word, that's the last thing I'd want…” she shook his head slightly, took one last deep breath and moved back up, his hands grasping your shoulders lightly, you could see his face up close now and he finally allowed himself to look at you, his face held a smile. “I am so happy to see you!” the heavy atmosphere diminished as Thomas usual radiance shone, “Haha, what are you doing here? It's been ages, the last place I thought I'd see you was all the way here.”
“Oh yeah, I actually came to apologise about that, about being distant. It wasn't right of me to just cut you off, I'm sorry.”
He stayed silent, only looking at you, his eyes softened and nose wrinkled in his genuine expression of embrace. “Dont worry about it, I was clingy, I'm just glad to know you are here now. I'm really happy about that.” he chuckled and shifted his weight to point you back up the path to the Kamisato residence. 
“Let's go catch up shall we?”
On the walk back up you explained to Thoma your ‘reason’ for avoiding him (your half lie, half truth reason), the same one you told Ayato. You are shy and get intimidated by how social he is. Thoma nodded at your explanation, expressed his apologies for not noticing your discomfort and promised from now on he'll be more aware when you are together and not encourage meeting with others you aren't comfortable with. The walk was nice, a bit strained because of the topic but after all the knots had been loosened it felt good to be relaxed with him again. 
You two entered the Yashiro court again, Ayato still sat at the table reading through some papers. Thoma turned to you, “Oh sorry, meeting with Ayato was one of the things that made you uncomfortable right? We could go somewhere else to catch up?”
“No it's alright, I met with him earlier when I arrived. I told him I'd return so it would be rude not to haha.”
The noise must have alerted said man, Ayato peaked his head up and greeted the both of you with a smile as you walked towards him and sat down.
“The both of you have returned safely from your walks then, it's good to see. How was it?”
Thoma hesitantly chuckled, “Haha, came across some trouble but nothing I can't iron out. Otherwise we just had a little talk.”
Ayato nodded and hummed.
You remember your carrier box filled with the apology gifts for Thoma and opened it.
“Thoma, I made some more biscuits and bread and wanted to give them to you, to further state my apology.”
“oh? Perfect then, we can have them with tea.” Ayato must have had someone refill the teapot while you were away as Thoma poured you both cups of steamed golden liquid and refilled Ayatos. Thoma took a biscuit and devoured it in delight, did he always over exaggerate when eating the things you baked or was his reaction authentic? 
“Ayato, would you like one? They really are divine.”
“No thank you. It would be wrong of me to strip you of your joy haha.”
It was odd but so welcoming to be able to have a casual conversation with the two. It seemed easy to get lost in Thomas stories, he seemed fully invested in everything he spoke of and when listening he truly captured every word. Ayato, though not as vocal as Thoma when he did speak his words were like a maze you'd have to do a small mental puzzle to understand if they were a wise response or a guileful remark coming from his teasing nature. Though harder to understand, Ayato's words were still a welcoming part of the conversation as the three of you went on to drink and share. 
Ayato shuffled his papers, putting them to the side, even on his supposed break he was reading through documents, Thoma hummed, took a quick look around then returned his gaze on Ayato.
“Where is Lady Ayaka? I thought you two were having this tea break to discuss something.”
Oh wait… Ayaka…
“Yes, she received a letter from the traveller today and was eager to share it, haha she truly is fascinated with that adventurer. She's not here at the moment however, she's gone to speak with Yoimiya. She says Yoimiya will be taking a trip to Sumeru in the future and has gone to ask if she may join.”
“Oh that's wonderful!-” Thoma hesitated, “Oh but doesn't she have some important meetings lined up these coming months with the shrine? There were those exchanges that need to be made, some deliberations about the upcoming festivals… as supportive as I am about her going on a trip, it doesn't seem doable with just how much is installed for these next 3 or 4 months.”
Oh Thoma you are truly a blessing, not only are you a true friend but you reestablished that the ‘plot’ wont change. You mouth a soundless thanks to him. 
Ayato hummed and tapped his quill* rhythmically on the table. “That is true but I want Ayaka to enjoy her years and not only focus herself on clan affairs, this trip is a good first opportunity to see the world outside Inazuma and with Yoiymiya as her travel partner I do not doubt they will have a good time. As for the workload-” Ayato reached over to the paper stack and shifted through them, “I was busying myself with planning and rearranging the meetings and visits she had in the time I expect her departure will be. It is more work but it will be rewarding, you'll see.”
Thoma seemed confused, it seemed from the look on his face he was doing the same as you when it comes to Ayato's words, figuring out the puzzle but if there was an underlying meaning to his words you didn't detect them, Ayato was simply stating facts and expectations yet Thomas silence ment he was looking for more than just that. Whatever mental games Thoma was tackling he must have failed, he chuckled and melted back into his relaxed self. 
“I'm glad then, it will be good for her.”
No… no this isn't right. There will be something, something will stop her from going, there must be. 
“mhm, I only await to hear back from her and her meet with Yoiymiya, I don't see any reason why she would decline.”
Yoiymiya will decline, she will, she must. 
“oh? Are you okay?” Ayato looks at you in concern, he puts his quill* down and gives you his full attention. 
“Is something the matter? Whatever it is, I am sure we can address it.”
“No, no its okay I just realised- I had some serious stuff to do for work which i've forgotten.” 
Ayato's face turns to mock surprise, you know he didn't believe you but he doesn't comment on it, Thoma does the same but you can detect the small quiver of his smile in disappointment that you are leaving so soon.
“Oh dear! Do you need help getting back home?”
“no no, i'll be fine thank you” you rush to stand up and then smile down to the two. “Thank you for today but I must go. Enjoy your afternoon.” you rush pleasantries and are out the gate before the two could press you further on your actions. 
You've done it again, you came here to try to fix things but you've just made a mess. You can try to fix it tomorrow, for now the more pressing thoughts of the potential Sumeru trip Ayaka will go on drowned out any other thoughts. You walk home rushed, the long walk not helping much to ease your nerves, you can only hope fate will prevail and Ayaka will stay in Inazuma. 
Ayato and Thoma sat in silence as you left, mutual understanding of the odd nature of your departure yet not wanting to address it.
“So… your ‘walk’ was fruitful then?”
“Just a few stray Hilichurls and a Fatui mage but it's been sorted.”
“Thoma, you know securing the perimeter is not part of your duties, you needn't lie about the reasoning for going out.”
Thoma did not respond. 
Ayato breathed in deeply, “I am not opposed to you going out to release your emotions but I worry you may get caught up in them only to further feed into your obsessions.”
“I'm not obsessed! I'm just-” he grit his teeth in his own turmoil, “I don't want to label these feelings as ‘obsession’, that wouldn't be right to them. I don't know, I still don't know. When they stopped talking to me it felt like I'd lose them forever, that everyday I don’t see them with my own eyes is a day that they may disappear and I know that sounds obsessive but… but I don't want to call it that. I just don't…”
Ayato soaked up his friend's words like a sponge and as always his responses were either clear or muddled with undertone, this time Thoma could tell instantly Ayato's words were transparent.
“You need not worry yourself about labelling your feelings then, you two are back in contact and there is still a future for you to explore what the emotions you are holding mean. Just do not lose sight of your health and those around you, even obsession can be tamed. “
The next few months were both easier and harder than the times you were avoiding Thoma. Sure, you lessened your workload and your health improved, you stayed in contact with Thoma, not as much as before but still enough to bond over. It was good to have a friend again and the feeling was mutual, every time you did meet he seemed eager to enjoy it to its fullest. You had even met with Ayato a few more times, never to the extent of Thoma but at least it became comfortable to sit and have tea with the both of them in a relaxed manner but that was the positives, the looming threat of Ayaka changing the plot was a heavy cloud always looming. The few occasions she saw you she was cordial and respectful but her interest glossed right over like you didn't even exist. She and Yoimiya made plans, fulfilled the work she could and now here you stand on the beach you woke up on exactly 2 years ago, 2 years since you randomly came to be here in Teyvat, the same day fate was changed and both Yoimiya and Ayaka were set sail for Sumeru. 
In blunt terms, youve fucked up. This was pure proof of your paranoia, this was proof your existence can cause the plot to change and the realisation of just how helpless you are in this situation dawned on you. The very act of your existence, whether you interact with those deemed ‘special’ or not, can and will change the story and you can only wonder if it will end well or if you've led something to doom. 
It's not fair, it's not fair at all. Even though you've been friendly with Thoma recently it's not like you can truly confide in him and he's just a painful reminder of your mistakes. The burden of wearing this responsibility, one you didn't even know how to fulfil, one you failed to fulfil, it's unfair. You are only human, you have needs to fulfil and ‘dying’ isn't one of them…
But 
But is it moral to be so selfish as to care about your own being when putting the risk of others on the line? Ayaka is gone from Inazuma, just how many people was she meant to interact with if she stayed? How will her presence in Sumeru affect the story? If you guess right the ‘hero' should be done with the main quest of Sumeru if it means Yoimiyas story quest can start but what if something happens that prohibits the plot for future stories? What of Ayakas presence delays the ‘hero’, even for a minute, in which that minute was originally meant for something in the greater scheme of things? 
This is awful… this isn't right. Not only has living become so difficult because of the constant nagging of anxieties and worries but you also have the potential to be responsible for disaster simply by existing. 
It isn't right… it isn't right you afflict this world with your existence and the threat it brings. 
Two years ago when you awoke on this beach you hoped to retain a normal life, perhaps find a way back home but at the very least, set up a life for yourself, an npc life but at least something. It's only fitting that you felt you had to come here, to kneel in the sand and watch how its granules slip through your fingers, it's because you exist that this sand is moving… it's only fitting that you finally come to the conclusion that you must die while being here. This is the place of your ‘birth’ into this world, perhaps it can be the place of your death as well. Not ‘death’, not some convoluted meaning of ‘dying' and becoming a new person, no you need to die. You need to die to ensure the people of Teyvat can remain on course. You are the virus here, you are the disease you need… you need to die.
Tears ran down your cheeks at such a resolute statement, sure youve thought about it all but now and truly you've decided that this is it, that you must do this. It's not like you want to die, not on a personal scale, but on a mental and emotional scale all this is too much, too much to bear and too much to live through. 
It's not fair to leave the people you've so selfishly afflicted with your presence without giving them a reason but you are too much of a coward to tell it to their face. It wouldnt go well if you were to stand infront of Thoma and tell him you were going to kill yourself, thats for sure but at the very least he could get some form of an explanation. 
You decide tonight is not the night you die, that would be tomorrow, you stand up from the ground and walk home, the weight of your choice still as raw as the moment you decide it, death is no light matter after all. 
You get home, a small space a person like yourself could afford, only the basics of furniture and 2 rooms. There under your door lay a letter, you pick it up and sit at your table where unblemished paper sat to become future suicide notes. Taking a look at the letter it was sealed in wax, the crest of the Kamisato Clan dug into its mass. 
You open it,
‘Dearist   XXXX
May this letter find you well. Both Thoma and myself wish to invite you for a stay at the Kamisato Clan as both a guest and a friend. The changing season brings a beautiful opportunity to witness it first hand as the trees take on their new hues and the oceans change their tides, you are welcomed to join us. Thoma sends his best wishes but asks for them to properly be said in person rather than in post. We eagerly await your response. 
Signed
Ayato’
Haha… how casual for a man like him… haha… haha here you are preparing to write letters announcing your death to them and yet they think only of including you in their lives. Haha… how horrible, how utterly vile it is to be able to experience emotions such as these. These feelings only prove your point more. You put the letter to the side and stared blankly at the response you are going to reply with, oh of only it were as optimistic and welcoming as theirs was.
You tried to make it easy for both yourself and those intended to read it. You state that the mistakes of your past have lay heavy on you and that death is the only relief, that you are sorry you cannot return the sentiment of friendship and must lay your mistakes to rest.
To Thoma you leave a more personal note, telling him that he made your life here in Inazuma so much better, that it was only in the moments with him you forgot your ‘mistakes’ for even a moment and for that you are grateful. It's true, it's only Thoma who made you forget the fact you don't belong here when you spend time with him. Sending this letter to him is assured to rip his heart, he sees you as a friend and he's going to beat himself at the thought that he did not help you enough to make you feel you'd want to stay, that he wasn't a good friend, which is not true at all but you know there is little you can do to convince him otherwise. In a moment of distressed induced vulnerability, with tears in your eyes you state something so cliche as that perhaps in another life you two may be able to have the friendship you both craved in this life, if only there is a case of reincarnation and you may be born in the same universe as him and live that life with no burdens or guilt of your existence. 
To Ayato you are more cordial, less emotional or descriptive but you tell him that he was right on that day in the rain, that there is a deeper problem than you just being ‘introverted’, otherwise you keep it professional. 
After the hardest two were done it was rather simple, it's not like you have any friends or family to write to and sending a letter to the street vendor you buy from doesnt make sense. You do write a letter and tell your boss that you simply will not be returning to work, you don't say why, and that you thank him for all the opportunities and help he has given you. 
For once it was easy to fall asleep, for the first time in 2 years the moment you lay your head on your pillow you were unconscious. For once you've felt the release of the burden you feel and the comfort that will come when your plague on this world is done. You are so tired and finally you can rest. 
The next day went on simply, it was a weekday and you went to work, in the afternoon you submitted your letters to the post and walked back home, taking in the scenery of Inazuma. This will be the last time you walk these streets. You wait at home quietly, have a decent meal and enjoy the sounds from outside of leaves and people. You felt in an odd state all the way through the day, like your senses were hypersensitive noticing the slightest thing around you which was lovely. You got to focus on the squirrles you passed on your way to work, the smell of baked bread smelled heavenly once again like it had the first day you were in the bakery, the pink and purple blossoms of the trees were so vibrant on your way home. You had given the shop vendor a smile and a wave as you passed her, that day you felt no burden, no grief. You only had one more step to take, the hard part was already over with. 
In the late evening you stood by that beach again, the view was incredible. You sat down in the sand and got comfortable leaning against a rock and letting the tide touch the tips of your toes. You were naughty today, you bought enough substances from clinics or herb stands to be sure you felt good in your last moments. You took them quickly and then rested your head back against the rock, letting the sound of waves softly crashing, leaves rustling and the odd animal chirp lull your mind. It took some effort not to fall asleep just yet, you blinked your eyes harshly and woke yourself up a bit. This part was slightly uncomfortable, the beach you woke up on had a slight cliff, nothing you'd die by jumping off of, it was just a little steep incline but it was enough. You took a large rock from nearby and rolled it closer to the edge, tying a rope around and around your ankle. Drowning didn't seem like a peaceful death but at least like this your body can be washed into the sea where it can decay in peace without traumatising a random person strolling the beach. You relaxed and took out the large knife you had brought with you. Bleeding out decreases the time by knocking yourself out and not having enough energy to wake up in the water and struggle. You should be numb enough now. You closed your eyes and cut lengthwise, both arms, a leg… you tried your neck but even drugged up that was beyond doable. You didn't even register when you had stopped, you didn't see the blood flowing or feel the pain as it pooled, slowly your will died out as everything became hazed. It was a feeling, not a good or bad one, you couldn't even think. You felt the weight on your ankle tug, your consciousness dropping and allowing the gravity to pull you away. Black. 
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medicinal-doll · 2 years
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Midnight perversion
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Title: Midnight Perversion
Pairing: Werewolf!Henry! x reader
Words: 2K
Warning: Dub-con/Non-con, Hint at A/B/O,animal play,blood,guns,fear,p in v sex,teasing,mind-break,breeding kink
Summary: Somethings amiss with your boyfriend henry but you try not to let that ruin your wilderness retreat
A/N: Went A little crazy with the plot, And did not intend for him to be a werewolf when I started this..but I still had fun writing it!
*Please don't repost without permission If you use my writing as inspiration please ask first and credit me
.......
The rain pats against the front window like A broken metronome as the only sound in the car is the windshield wipers, and the low hum of the radio playing some obscure oldschool station. Your hands grip the wheel tighter because they've been threatening to slip off for the past hour. the reason for this is your boyfriend Henry's gaze fixed on you.
Henry's always been the sweetest boyfriend. you met when you got a flat tire on your way to leave town for A trip and he was the only one to help you "Need A hand darling?" He said in that sultry British accent and those words have always stuck with you ever since. When you accidentally cut yourself while cooking, when you cant reach something on a tall shelf, when your wifi keeps on crashing and you can't figure out why. There he is your big strong doting boyfriend to ask if you need his assistance.
But right now he's kind of scaring the shit out of you. and maybe you're overreacting but he's never looked at you this way before. the first time you looked at him was 40 minutes ago into the drive. With A smile on your face you innocently turned to ask him "Hey do you want Chinese or Mexican for din-..." you meet his eyes and halt your sentence dead in its tracks "Geez Hen why the serious look?"you say before pushing his chest playfully laughing nervously at the end hoping to lighten up the mood.
Nothing... not a word not a reaction. "Okay then...well I'll just assume you're in a mood then" that's the last thing you said, and up until now you can only feel his eyes on you and see his head facing towards you in your peripheral vision.
............
"Do you like dogs honey?"
Henry breaks the silence with his monotone voice. and you breathe out A heavy sigh at the normalcy and curse the times you told him to be quiet because you needed to focus. even though the conversation topic is a little random you're grateful nonetheless.
"Dogs are fine but I'm more of A cat person myself" "What about you babe?" You glance at him and you thought his face couldn't get any scarier. the expression of his eyes are equivalent to the likes of A dead fish. cold, unfeeling, and unmoving. His blue eyes you swear have changed color are A glowing hazel. but maybe it's just the street lights his eye bags are prominent despite him getting his full 8 hours of sleep. and his lips are pulled taut only opening and closing to utter a sentence before returning to their original stance.
"Cats, nasty selfish creatures. they hold no loyalty" he sneers "But dogs however are the epitome of loyalty, hopelessly devoted and caring to their owners with unconditional love"
"Uhm... that's really cool hen I didnt kno-".
"Did you know that if A dogs owner leaves while it's still a pup, and comes back when it's an elder. the dog will still recognize and love its owner....fascinating"
You dont respond back or even look at him you dont know what to say. you speed up the car hoping to reach your destination sooner you dont think henry would ever lay a hand on you but his behavior right now is quite unsettling
"You see honey, Me and dogs are more similar than you think" he places a firm hand on your thigh, and a light poking sensation surrounds the area of contact. but you brush it off not daring to look down.
"Henry you're kind of scaring me right now" "How about we talk about something more fun hm?" You say in a last ditch effort to save your sanity. henry withdraws his hand from your thigh and picks at his nails "Of course dear my apologies" And you detect a faint smile from the corner of your eye. Thank god your body language relaxes, ready for the change away from all the awkwardness hotboxing the car.
Henry let's out a small laugh then it fades A little to slowly "How about we discuss me popping your tire" your laugh that's a tad bit too loud fills the car "Henry..?"
"That day when you were heading out of town I slashed your tire"
The car stops and you pull the key out of the ignition. Your brain barely registering anything "What?..."
"Oh! Look honey we're here and just when our chat was starting to get good, what a shame" henry beams gleefully before hopping out of the car and popping the trunk "Cmon honey lighten up you've been waiting for this trip for weeks" he shouts to you while gathering your luggage"
Yeah, you have been waiting for this trip... just you, and henry. hundreds of miles away from town, and any civilization, alone in the wilderness with no service...alone with him...Maybe you should leave the trip destinations to someone with a brain.
You wipe your eyes and blank out the last hour from your mind, blaming it on you both being a little stir crazy and car sick "Hey! let me help you with that babe it's heavy" you say going to help your mountain of a boyfriend who could probably carry you and the luggage in one go.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
You're at the campfire, beautiful glowing embers eminating off of it. and right across from you sits henry. he's eating the last of the hotdogs you brought "I guess we should've brought more food " you Joke as he downs the last bit in one bite smirking at you while he chews "Well..If we did run out.." "would you prefer being rotisseried or stewed" you go over and hit him lightly on the shoulder and he smiles and laughs at you.
"You know you really did scare me when we were in the car" you lean against his warm body grabbing his big hand holding it close to your lap "I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to scare you like that honest" he rests his head against yours "it's okay it kind of turned me on A little" you giggle drunk off the warmth of the fire and him "Oh really.." "Well then maybe I should tell you that the blue sweater you had on before you left would've been A better option" "it's a shame you changed it, would've been better suited for the wilderness"
You lean your head up looking at him quizzically "Okay.. How the hell do you know what I was going to wear?"
"Well it's my job to know you are my mate after all" and he mutters your first middle and last name under his breathe sarcastically, but he doesn't or shouldn't know your middle name you never told him....
Your body tenses up, and that chill from the car comes back all over again. and even the heat from the fire and henry combined can't stop you from feeling ice cold.
"It was hard work you know" he expresses "following you all those months getting your routine down" "hell the easiest part was getting you on this trip, all I had to do was search up foresty locations on your laptop so you would get targeted ads" "And you immediately took the bait" he chuckles to himself before looking down at your stiff composure "Oh I'm sorry honey..Am I scaring you again?" He goes to brush your hair and you jolt up sprinting in the direction of the road. Henry rolls his eyes and sighs to himself "good job idiot now the poor thing is gonna get her clothes all dirtied up" he grunts before lifting his heavy frame from the cozy log and stalking in the direction you ran off in.
You run frantically and your lungs burn as they absorb the coldness of mother nature.
You close your eyes sobbing to yourself. and when you open them bright white beams blind you and you throw your hands up into the air. you hear an ear peircing screeching noise and you dare not open your eyes in the fear that you might be dead. Until you hear an angry door open and slam loudly "What the hell is your problem lady!Are you trying to be roadkill!"
You try to gain your composure and go to open your mouth. But strong firm hands harshly grip your shoulders and your back meets A muscular hard chest "I'm so sorry for the trouble sir, my girlfriend here had a bit too much to drink but I'll get her tucked into bed right now" he emphasized the last 2 words of that sentence, and his grip hardened into your shoulders starting to hurt.
Now, you can't be quiet. if you miss this opportunity he could do whatever he wanted and no one would be there to heed your screams. You cock your head forward before throwing it back crashing into Henry's face. He's caught off guard by your new found boldness and is knocked back, stunned for the time being. and you run to the trucker "Please Sir!! Help me! hes trying to kill me!" You run behind the stranger and hide your face as henry recovers from the hit. Blood runs from his nose and he wipes it with the sleeve of his sweater before glaring at the trucker with murderous eyes before glancing back to you.
"Honey don't do this you're drunk. Now why dont you knock it off upsetting this poor man, and come on back with me" he reaches his hand out hand goes to take a few steps towards you but then A gun clicks "Now listen here boy!you leave this lady here alone!" Henry tilts his head and takes a step closer "Boy! Dont you come one step closer or I'll blast you into next week" henry smiles eerily before lunging at the man and A gunshot rings out. your head shoots up, and you see your boyfriend's burly frame crash into the road head first.
"No!" You cry out dropping to your knees and grab Henry's head cradling it in your arms. he's been good to you until tonight. And even though you wanted to get as far away from him as possible. you didn't want to see him die. you sob and the man gently pulls you back "C'mon miss, dont you go worrying about him. He's in the devils hands now...".
"No...." you whisper softly through your tear stained face as you let yourself be pulled away. he leads you into the passenger seat of the truck and helps you in "Now you stay right here miss I'm gonna make A call to the sherriff about what went on here, you just close your eyes and rest" "lord knows you've been through enough for the night...." the man turns and heads to the back of the truck to grab something presumably his cellphone.
You try to close your eyes but you can't, not after what happened. you drift your eyes to the road still in disbelief that henry was really gone......
Wait...where the hell is his body.
"AaaAH!!!" A blood curdling yell sounds from the back of the truck, and you swing your head around to peer through the small window. but theres nothing there you turn your head back to face the front window, then the driver door, then turn to the passenger door and your heart drops out of your chest. Henry's bloodly face is pressed against the window slightly fogging it up with his heavy breathing both palms flat against the glass.
How is he still alive should be your first question but his appearance plagues your eyes. Canines sharp enough to tear flesh and bone. Ears pointed up towards the sky.And you thought he couldn't get any bigger. but if he was 6'1 and 200 pounds before. he was at least 7'1 and 300 pounds now. he's horribly hunched over just to look into the window, plus hes way hairier than before. the bush of chesthair peaking through his torn sweater. but the most captivating feature is his eyes. pupils that were formerly circular black now pointed into animalistic slits, and irises glowing A bright hazel just like in the car. his nails long and sharp, must've been what you felt in the car.
The door to the truck is ripped from its hinges. tossed away at the road like scrap metal. henry places A death grip around your waist dragging you from the seat. kicking and screaming you claw at the leather of the truck fighting to stay in but he's too strong. with one last tug he rips you from the safety of the truck, throwing you over his shoulder. And without A word he trudges back toward your campsite.
"Henry No!-Put me down!" You bang your fists against his hard back. but henry continues forward unfazed by your feeble attempts of fighting him. you reach the campsite fire now gone out from being neglected. Henry makes a sharp right turn unzipping and entering into your tent. He tosses your body on the sleeping bags and turns to zip the tent. you pop back up and try to attack him,hit his face claw at him, anything to get the hell out of here. but he holds you at bay with one arm swatting away your attempts, as if your nothing but A fly.
When henry finishes zipping the tent you watch as he snaps the end of the zipper off and puts it in his pocket. he then turns his eyes to you and grabs a hold of your neck, his large hand wrapping entirely around it like fresh kill from a successful hunt.
He forces your head down, holding your neck until your face is flush against the sleeping bag. you thrash your body violently and try to resist, but pause when the sound of A belt unbuckling fills your ears.
"Now you may think the scariest part about this whole thing is the dead trucker, my changed appearance, or the fact that I'm about to take you right here and there's nothing you can do about it"
He grabs your pants and panties on both sides and harshly tugs them down to your mid thigh.
"But what I think the scary part is.." "Is the fact that I've been swapping your birth control pills for placebos this past week"
Your eyes widen filled with shock, but it doesn't quite set in with you until you feel his hands caress your tummy slowly.
"I'd always thought you'd make such A beautiful mommy" he kisses your back. And you fucking lose it "Henry-!No Dont!!" you kick your legs at him trying to wiggle out of his grasp, but his hand is unyielding around your neck you feel his tip brush your entrance "No.." you whimper and bury your head into the sleeping bag reluctantly accepting your fate.
You feel his huge throbbing cock sheath into your tight pussy, going deeper and deeper until its flush against your cervix. And his large balls rest roughly against your clit. You scream into the pillow with a mix of pleasure and pain, And henry let's out A low groan. He hasn't even moved yet, but you still feel as though you'll break into a million pieces "No Henry take it out please!!"
Henry ignores your pleas. And starts slamming into your small opening grabbing you by the hips to keep you crashing down on his girthy cock over and over again. you scream at the top of your lungs "Henry!!!!" Tears stream from your face "it hurts...no..Take it out please..."broken sobs leave your mouth.
Henry moans out in pleasure "Almost there sweetie I promise it'll feel better soon" he let's go of your neck and places both large hands your hips "Open up for me hun" He says before slamming your body's together in unison. A jolt of pain rocks you to your core and you open your mouth agape in a silent scream, while you feel the stretch of his knot entering your slick walls. then a wave of pleasure comes over you. This causes you to clamp down hard on his cock. and your body shakes from the intense rush then goes limp.
"mine already..." he let's out a faint growl "Your body was made just for me" he pumps into your pussy, and you grip onto the sleeping bag for dear life. eyes rolling to the back of your head and mouth wide open, tongue flopping out like a lost little pup.
Strangled moans drip from your salivated lips "Henryy!" You call his name over and over like it's the only thing you can think of "fuck baby I'm close" he slaps your ass and your walls tighten around him "Mhmmm... That's right baby fucking milk me" "milk the cum from your owners cock" you whine at his words as he fucks every last bit of resistance out of you "Henry more!breed me up good!" tears leak from your blurry eyes "please give me A baby just one please!..." you cry into your weak wrists.
"Aw baby Have I fucked you dumb already?" He laughs at you "dont worry baby I'll knock you up with A family of pups" "you just keep squeezing me nice and good okay baby?" "AAaah...!" You yell as your 4th orgasm washes over you like A tsunami and Henry bucks his knot into you further, fat thick heavy balls slapping against your clit with each thrust.
Henry let's out A primal moan with his hands on your hips glueing you both together, as he paints your walls white and floods your fertile womb with his spawn. His chest rises heavily up and down before he flops to the side still inside you.
You weakly try to crawl away but he pulls you to his sweaty hairy chest and kisses you all over your face "Not yet baby we gotta make sure your womb takes" he snuggles into you, and your defenses are gone. With your mind unable to form one coherent thought, you nod in agreement and give into his comfort whilst you drift off to sleep in his arms.
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ultfreakme · 9 months
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Hi! I have a question, I hope I can explain myself: how would you describe Gojo on a moral level? I see the majority of the fandom (jjk in general, not just the shipping ones) considers him a good person, but I'd argue he's more on the grey side...and not a light grey. See, I can't really wrap my head around the way he blatantly ignores the fact the Suguru was completely fucked up, to the point that in chap 236 he wishes Suguru was with him before fighting Sukuna and imagining him (adult Suguro, the fucked up one) together with the same students he tried to kill in jjk0. How on earth? If I'm not mistaken Gojo never really says "yeah, Suguru was my friend but he used to be completely different, this is not the Suguru I used to be friends with". He never says Suguru was wrong. He just misses him, even though he was surrounded by people who liked him. At least Shoko clearly doesn't feel any affection towards Suguru. And let's not talk about the way he doesn't really seem concerned about the future of his students in chap 236. What do you think? Just to clarify: I do like Gojo. But I don't share the sentiment of the rest of the fandom: he's not a good person. I guess Nanami was right
This one's a question I'm still thinking about that makes me go in circles Anon.
Initially, I had assumed that morality was defined by intentions. It's easy to see that a person is good when it's someone like Yuuji, there's an innate drive in him to do what is right, the same applies for Megumi who wants to save good people, and Nanami.
Gojo doesn't have this innate drive, taking the right decision does not come naturally to him. He's calculative and needs to rely on others around him to discern what's right and wrong, especially in high school. So you could say he's not a good person, but when you look at his actions, they are driven to save people and ultimately his actions sum up to an overall positive imo.
I don't think Gojo can really comprehend the purpose of saving people the way 'regular' people do because of how far-removed he is due to his powers. It's not that he hates people, he's simply indifferent to the act of heroism or saving people because the loss of a life is not going to wreck him the way it does Yuuji. But through Geto, he realizes that despite not understanding this, he still needs to try and take a stance because if he doesn't, the few people he does care about are going to be affected, and those weaker than him(the Jujutsu Tech higher-ups, curse users like Toji) are going to take advantage of him.
He says he wants the higher-ups to stop with their destructive, outdated ways. To do so, he teaches his students to be stronger, not only to overthrow the old ways but also to protect themselves. So they don't die like his old friends did. He also wanted them to grow stronger so he can finally openly care about someone on equal terms.
It's selfish, but the motive to protect the people you care about, isn't that technically morally good? But he does go to extremes or is on the verge of it. To stop that, he uses others' morality as a scale.
Geto was the person he used to figure out what value the people he doesn't give a shit about hold. Gojo ends up embodying the ideologies Geto used to say, "the strong must protect the weak". It's not because he truly believes it and the lack of this ideology actually infuriates him, it's rather that it's what Geto used to believe. Geto was someone he considered to be on his level, so despite not understanding the mechanics or the empathy involved in that ideology, Gojo adopted it because this is the one guy who can communicate that desire to protect someone to him.
And I think Gojo was quickly understanding that as we see through his consideration and wish to protect Riko. But this understanding quickly became disconnected with her death and his rapid ascension to higher levels of power, making him even more distant. So now he's starting from scratch, relying on Geto's morality even more.
And when Geto leaves him, Geto's apparently completely flipped.
So I thought "then why isn't Gojo following Geto anymore?". And I think it's because when Geto reverses his morals, he didn't explain it to Gojo. On top of that, now their power difference puts them on different levels.
Now Gojo is left with the shadow of what Geto's ideologies used to be, and he understands that to an extent. He doesn't understand Geto now and he's blocked off. So he embraces the shadow, the traces of the morality he did understand and crafts his decisions based on this framework.
He also doesn't condemn Geto because the last time they truly understood each other's grief was with the death of Riko. Gojo knows how much that event changed himself and Geto, he understands the pain of failure and the things it can do to you. And because of this, he can never hate him. This would mean putting an ideology or morality above himself. That's impossible since Gojo's morality is secondary and detached from the core of who he is.
Gojo, to the core of what he is, will care about Geto. The same way he once cared about Riko making it out alive, or his desire for a fight that makes him go all out as with Sukuna.
Gojo's ideology and morality is a tool he uses to assess and aid the world around him, given to him.
The best way I can say it is, if you take away Yuuji's sense of morality, he stops being Itadori Yuuji. But if you take away Gojo's sense of morality, he'd still recognizably be Gojo Satoru.
Does this make Gojo a bad person? I don't think so tbh. Because an innate sense of morality and desire to save people can turn absolutely horrible(re: Geto), and those who are able to detach themselves from everything can choose actions that lead to greater good.
What do we then, define a "good person" by? Internal thoughts? Actions? Both?
Gojo's 'goodness' and 'badness' is not conventional, and I personally think people who make the right choice through logic though they feel nothing in their heart or soul at the sight of wrongness still are good people. It's hard to actively choose the right thing when there isn't this sinking feeling guiding you. He doesn't condemn or even stop Geto, but he fights him, he protects his students and he wants these kids to live. He even tells Ijichi to go into a manager role because he doesn't want him to die. He does care about his students, that's what I got from reading the chapter tbh, he can't help it if Sukuna is legit stronger than him. He's the one who arranged for a baseball game for the kids instead of 1v1 for the second half of the exchange event. He cares in his won weird, detached way that's probably following guidelines from others. He calls them flowers/plants but he wants them to grow stronger and believes they can take care of themselves now.
Goodness is a choice. Gojo chooses to do the right thing at the end of the day like 9/10 times. So yeah he might not condemn Geto, but neither does Nanami(he still respects the man and he doesn't even have that for GOJO). Shoko doesn't either technically, she walks out of the meeting Yaga calls to stop Geto in JJK0 and talks about him on the same level as Gojo when thinking about them during the Sukuna v Gojo fight.
I think he's a good person, but I understand why people would think otherwise.
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hxhhasmysoul · 4 months
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Opinion on Maki?
I like Maki as a character, I’m not sure I’d be close friends with her as a person but I think she could be an okay person to know. 
I like how Maki’s story isn’t really that closely related to the main story of JJK i.e. Kenjaku’s plan. She gets to have her own stuff, her life doesn’t exclusively revolve around Kenjaku, Sukuna, etc. At the same time her story is very strongly tied to the themes of JJK. It’s a story about an oppressive, abusive system and about how it can’t be reformed, just destroyed, and how it won’t be satisfying for those who would do that because of what it will cost them. It’s a story about a woman in a patriarchal system. About dehumanisation, being valued through the lens of strength, gender and assimilation into the status quo. About family. About loss and loneliness. About how much it costs to be true to yourself. How much strength is a false idol and power ups don’t mean shit, they are not worth it. About how sometimes it’s impossible to reconcile opposing desires/goals. 
But this is probably not what you’re asking for in terms of detailed answer XD
But for the longest time this was all I could come up with because I didn’t know how to frame a more complex answer. XD
I don't know if you wanted salt either but well, this is what I came up with. Sorry it took me months...
I think Maki is one of the characters that the fandom mistreats a lot. And various parts of the fandom mistreat her in various ways. 
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“OMG Maki’s the worst for what she did to Mai” aka the victim blaming crowd
So to this group Maki not staying with the Zen’in for Mai’s sake is the worst crime. Often worse than what the Zen’in actually did to Mai, because hadn’t Maki left… 
I will be honest, I’m biassed against these people because Mai really reminds me of my abuser and the way these people excuse Mai’s behaviour rubs me the wrong way. Especially with how many of them openly say that they identify with Mai, or hint at that. To me it often feels that by excusing Mai’s rancid behaviour they try to excuse their own, and like whatever trauma you go through, it’s not okay to harm strangers and then excuse it with the said trauma. It may explain the behaviour but never justifies it, it’s still shitty behaviour and I actually like that JJK’s stance on that is consistently critical. 
The situation into which Maki and Mai were born was abusive and traumatising to both of them. Women in the Zen’in clan are less than men, their worth is measured by their looks and willingness to be meek and subservient. Also non sorcerers are treated as less than. 
Which actually made Maki’s start in that family harder and Mai’s. She had her Heavenly Restriction and a blunt personality, didn’t want to become a servant. Mai’s cursed technique and personality, on the other hand, made her seem slightly more palatable to the Zen’in. 
And this difference between them informed how they tried to cope with the abuse. 
Mai chose to try and make herself smaller and participate in the system, make herself as invisible as possible so that the oppressive system would not pay attention to her. The joke was on her because that strategy doesn’t offer much protection. Even if Maki had stayed, sooner or later the family would’ve remembered about them. If Naoya had forced himself on Mai there’s not guarantee that Maki could’ve protected her, if he groomed her, which I actually find more likely, then he would’ve forced a wedge between them first, isolated Mai maybe by showing her favour. Like Maki’s presence there would not have made Mai safer and would not have guaranteed that the Zen’in wouldn’t have turned them against each other.
Maki chose to try to defeat the system by playing by its rules. She wanted to become the head of the family, to become someone so strong and respected in the jujutsu society that she could take over the family. The joke was on her because the clan rules or the jujutsu society rules were never meant to work for her, they were meant to uphold the status quo. 
In their circumstances there was no right choice for either of them to make. It was the Zen’in’s choice to target Mai after Maki left. It was the Zen’in’s fault Maki wanted to leave in the first place. 
The Zen’in acted like textbook abusers who try to put the blame for their behaviour on the victims, want to make the victims feel responsible for what happens to other victims. And the fact how much the fandom is okay with that framing is sickening. Older children that get old enough to leave an abusive household often are blamed like this and often feel guilt that they wanted to protect themselves, as if they owe others their suffering. 
Maki wanted to come back, to make the Zeni’n clan more livable for herself and Mai. Her thinking was very naive, but so was Mai’s. They were both abused kids who had nowhere to turn for help. They both tried to survive in the way that felt the most reasonable to them. They both failed at what they tried.
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The even more far gone “Maki exploited Mai” aka the victim blamers meet performative feminism crowd
Some fans go further, claiming that Mai was exploited for Maki’s power up. 
After their father brutalises the twins and leaves them to be mauled by the curses, Maki is ready to die with Mai. It’s very clear Maki missed Mai, that she loved her dearly despite their differences. Maki feels defeated and done. She and Mai are finally close again, finally talking again. And Maki is ready to die there with her. She finds closure in their reunion, however brief and tragic it is. She does not want Mai’s gift, she doesn’t not want Mai to leave her, she doesn’t want to live without Mai.
I could even call that moment Mai’s little revenge. But like endearingly, without any malice. I don’t judge Mai for what she does then, like I don’t judge Maki for what she did. The roles here are reversed. 
When Maki left the clan, she made that decision despite knowing Mai would not like it and that she was leaving Mai behind. As I said, she was justified to do that because she didn’t owe suffering to Mai. 
In their death scene, in the curse pit, Mai makes the decision to leave Maki behind even though Maki asks her not to. Maki doesn’t want to stay in the world without Mai, she calls Mai her heart. Maki’s subsequent revenge on the Zen’in is performed without any sense of achievement. It’s clear she feels nothing at that point. 
Saying that Mai got exploited for Maki’s power up does not only willfully ignore how Maki behaved in that situation and how she reacted. It also disrespects Mai.
Abuse strips people of true agency and reclaiming even a sliver of that agency always comes at a cost. Maki’s was separation from her beloved sister. Mai also showed some agency then, it may feel awful to call it that, but she did make a choice to stay because it aligned more with her personality and desires. The alternatives both of them were presented with were awful, and neither made a true free choice, but they both showed some agency. Because abuse usually offers people such shitty choices, so their acts of agency are marred with regret and doubt and maybe even resentment.
In their death scene Mai shows her agency again, this time it is her who makes a choice for both of them because she’s the one with the power in that situation. Maki wouldn’t have been able to heal Mai and leave her with a weapon or with her strength. She also wouldn’t want to because she knows that Mai doesn’t not want to fight. Maki never pressures Mai to leave the Zen’in with her because she knows Mai doesn’t want the sorcerer's life. 
Mai still chose between two shitty options: die alone and leave Maki or die together. But she chose the one which aligned the most with her own desires and the one that she surely thought was the most aligned with Maki’s. 
When Maki left the Zen’in clan, Mai felt abandoned by her. I wish she understood that it was the Zen’in who took Maki away from her because they made it impossible for Maki to stay there, maybe then Mai’s fans wouldn’t be so confused. Maki actually realises who took Mai away from her. 
The nastiest part of the exploitation take is when its proponents pull gender into it. Try to align Mai with femininity and Maki with masculinity. I’ve written about how messed up it is to call Maki masculine. And this is done very deliberately to make hating on Maki “excusable”. 
When this sort of terfy “feminism” is used, it comes with the belief that masculinity is by default bad and anyone aligned with it becomes by default the exploiter, the abuser, the powerful one in the situation. And hating men has become normalised in terf infested online “lefty” discourse. 
So if they first align Maki with masculinity and Mai with femininity, then they can sound justified in talking about Mai being exploited, Mai being the sole victim of that situation. And Maki is the evil one.
They can willfully misinterpret the Zen’in massacre as some male power fantasy that Maki has enacted and ignore Maki’s words or state of mind. Maki is not “feminine” enough in her grief, she’s not hysterical and crying. Maybe if she was like Megumi or Yuuji, those unmanly crying weaklings, then it would’ve shown that she really cared.  
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The “Maki is just Touji 2.0” aka the what the heck is story analysis and reading comprehension crowd
I don’t even want to devote too much time to these people. Because their point boils down to: Maki has the same powers as Touji so she’s exactly the same character as him, or like a replacement for him. And my main reaction to this is honestly just sighing and rolling my eyes.
Because seriously, both characters have more to them than just their powers.
 They have different personalities. 
The Zen’in clan had a different attitude to them, despite the clan rejecting them both. 
The way they relate to other characters is completely different.
Their character arcs are different.
Their role in the story is completely different. 
The way they play into the themes of the story is different. 
Their Heavenly Restriction and blood relation are the only two similarities. And the fact that the Zen’in shitstains only see Maki through the lens of her gender or her strength. Maki had failed as a woman, completely when she became disfigured, Naoya was very clear about that. So she was measured by them only by her strength. And the only way they could find a point of reference for that strength was by equating her to the one they had all rejected and feared: Touji.
Oh, okay, I forgot Maki now has the same hairstyle as Touji, my bad, they are the same character.
I think that there are two major drivers for people to hold the opinion that Maki is just Touji 2.0. 
There are the “archetypes, tropes and parallels” people. People who when they interact with new stories try to find similarities to other stories and when they catch a glimpse, a faint scent, of a trope or archetype they will latch onto it and then zero in on everything that will  confirm that yes, this is it, it is done exactly the same way as in other stories. And they will willfully ignore any creative deviations in how the story uses the trope or archetype. 
Or if the cognitive dissonance becomes too much they will get upset at the story and the author, which is extremely common among the JJK casual watchers/readers turned haters when the story turns out not to be what they assumed it would be. 
And the same for inside the story parallels. For them a parallel between X and Y often means that X and Y are the exact same thing. Like they will aggressively try to prove that Yuuji, Nobara and Megumi are a repeat of Gojou, Getou and Shoko due to I guess, the gender ratio matching, even if doing that means ignoring everything about these characters. And they will also do it when it comes to Maki and Touji. 
The other group are the fandom rancid homophobes who are often, but not exclusively, Gojou or Getou or SatoSugu fans. Their main point is that they decided that Gege is a man (which may be true, but Gege doesn’t officially gender themself) and that Gege wants to fuck some of the characters they’d created. 
There are 2 characters that are most often mentioned as the objects of Gege’s supposed carnal desires: Touji and Sukuna… 
Okay, I will be blunter because it’s not only homophobia but also like with an extra layer of bottom prejudice. Gege is accused of “dick riding” the characters, and that’s not an accident. As isn’t the fact that disrespecting Kenjaku, when it takes a sexualised form, is always about them taking it from behind from Jin. Because these people - and I can’t stress this enough, a lot of these people ship M/M ships - these people will still love to treat homosexuality as degrading, especially being a bottom. 
These people will just say that Gege can’t live without Touji so Maki is in the story solely so Touji can be mentioned. They will also often frame it in performative feminism, because how dare Gege mention Touji sometimes when Maki is concerned, that means that Gege doesn’t care about Maki at all and is just thinking about Touji. When it’s most likely the fans just see Maki as Touji because they don’t really care about either character and they don’t know what they are about.
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The “Gege killed Maki on International Women’s Day” aka the no object permanence meets performative feminism crowd
So these are the “champions of feminism” in the fandom. Those who will scream that “Gege hates women”. And the moment Maki gets hurt and isn’t instantly shown to be alive, those people will instantly assume Maki was killed. And scream that “Gege hates women”.
It doesn’t matter that it makes no sense considering what Maki’s been through in the story thus far. It doesn’t matter that it reeks of terfism and misogyny to assume that even small damage a female character takes means that she is incapacitated/dead, when it’s not assumed of male characters in the same story who are taking much more serious damage. 
What matters is performing feminism on social media and feeling justified in posting vitriol targeted at Gege.
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tl;dr
In the way the fandom treats her, Maki suffers from not being a sexyman but sharing her powers with one. She also suffers from not doing the victim of abuse and dehumanisation right.
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caliburn-the-sword · 1 year
Text
ranking ouat characters by how likely they are to lose a finger in a swordfight
preface: i'm gonna be poking fun at these funky little characters for fun, but i really appreciate how the show gives them distinct fighting styles!!! it both sets them apart both literally and by personality, as well as setting them up for interesting fights as different characters are pit up against different characters!!! that's really cool.
now, before i start, YES, a lot of things are gonna sound like an innuendo. get your laughs out about it now. if you make a dirty joke, i promise i will be in your walls <3
anyway, as i've mentioned in a previous post, my experience in swordfighting is in using wooden training sword , which weighs just under a kilo. i typically use this for the fancy, pretty looking stuff like patterns. in actual sparring, i'm using what's essentially a plastic pipe covered in foam which if i had to estimate weighs a quarter of a kilo MAX). a proper real metal sword, depending on the length, is gonna be somewhere just under or over a kilo. so contrary to all your fantasy novels or movies, you're not gonna pick up a sword and be like "oh shit that's heavy i can't even heft it up". you will very easily be able to pick up that sword. it only becomes heavy once you've done a lot of swinging it around, carried it for a while, etc. adrenaline can carry you through maybe the first three minutes, and then your exhaustion will hit you, and then you're gonna be carried by your own endurance primarily, but yes this does build strength so believe me when i say that all the ouat characters are canonically quite strong (but you didn't need me to tell you that lmao).
Last place: David
HIS SWORD THROW IS SO IMPRESSIVE. you will most likely end up very unarmed having missed the enemy and very at the mercy of your enemy who still has their sword. luckily for him IT WAS COOL AS FUCK that i won't be considering that a point of deduction, ESPECIALLY because he would have hit regina if she couldn't teleport.
now let me just say, his circle work??? very good indeed. he can take multiple enemies in a fight. he absolutely will NOT trip over his feet and get killed in that way.
now, i understand the flair for the dramatic in big, overarm swing type movements. i've got two concerns: first of all, how far he extends his arm when swinging his sword. he's opening himself to get his hand cut off, getting stabbed, etc. secondly, when you extend your hand that far and suddenly have to block a strike??? it's essentially the strength of your arm vs the strength of your opponent's ENTIRE body. you do NOT want that.
he also has a tendency to blend hand to hand combat with swordfighting, yikes. when swordfighting, a main advantage is your REACH and how much DISTANCE you're able to keep. david is essentially throwing all that away to get closer and throw in a couple elbows. he's gonna get himself very stabbed that way.
occasionally, he also does a big spinny thing and can i say PLEASE don't turn your back on your opponent you're ITCHING to get stabbed. interesting note: when he uses a two handed grip, he tends to swing like a baseball bat.
judgement: at best, he's lost a hand. at worst, he's dead.
Killian Jones
not even 0.5 seconds into his first fight with rumpelstiltskin, SIR WHAT WAS THAT WINDUP??? YOU'RE NOT THROWING A BASEBALL. after that he's got a decent fencing style. he keeps his free hand close to his body, where he doesn't risk it getting cut off. i'm concerned when he advances that he makes his stance TOO long. since this is a one on one fight, that's fine, but if he was fighting multiple people at once he would be taken out by being TRIPPED. that said it's still good that he advances and places pressure on his opponent. solid technique. HELP HE JUST DID THE WORST GLANCE EVER. rumpelstiltskin's sword was STILL UP and KILLIAN WAS ALREADY LOWERING HIS SWORD. THIS IS HOW YOU GET SLASHED IN THE CHEST. random wide swings???? i appreciate that he ACTUALLY aims for vital points, unlike literally everyone else on this damn show. killing someone pretty much stops YOU from getting killed, so his survival prospects have just increased despite everything.
killian has a GREAT ability to disarm his enemies. disarming your enemies = not being killed.
his movements in his fight with emma are ALL wide and dramatic. is he showing off???? i hate to say it but if YOU have a sword and someone is trying to tackle you, you should STAB them so that you don't risk losing your sword, impaling yourself, or your opponent getting your sword. horny bastard.
HE DID A DRAMATIC SPIN. JAIL. and wasting time gloating?? surefire way to give your opponent opportunities. he's lucky emma was never aiming for the kill to begin with, and was quite inexperienced.
we see VERY wide swings in the neverland arc too.
does not have a very strong stance when fighting blackbeard </3 killian being capable of using his hook to reinforce blocks by placing it down the edge of his blade is AMAZING. i don't know how to explain this, but when you're gripping the handle of your sword with two hands, you are pushing against a single point. when he holds the handle with one hand and braces the other end of the sword with his hook, the force is more evenly spread, making it stronger. the only way i can think of achieving that with two hands is by bracing against the flat of the blade, and by god i am NOT risking that EVEN tho it's just a plastic pipe covered in foam LMAO.
idc about the context you are absolutely NOT striking towards someone's feet. don't do that. very impractical, even if you're trying to force them to step somewhere.
anyway he's pretty decent at taking multiple opponents at a time, tho i do prefer charming's circle work.
judgement: this is so long BECAUSE HE'S SO DAMN INCONSISTENT. i noticed that past season 5 he gets back to being more consistent and fency. so i think it's during high emotional states when he starts going wide. unfortunately the big thing with fighting is you gotta be able to BALANCE your emotion or you're gonna slip up like hell. i REALLY wanted to rank him higher than i did (it was honestly very close between him and snow white) because like i mentioned, he doesn't hold back and has great disarming skills, however i find him too inconsistent to be reliable. catch him on a bad day (he has a lot of those) and he's sloppy. so yeah.
Snow White
she doesn't have as many swordfighting scenes as other characters, but she's quite promising. i won't fault her for kicks, even tho i personally wouldn't risk it, because she isn't getting up close and personal like an elbow would (looking at david). she has a tendency to get low, which like major no no. mega yikes. you lose all your reach with that. i'd like to commend her for being able to get BEHIND her enemies quite often. anytime you can manage to NOT be where your opponent is pointing their sword is a pretty good one. however she also likes to spin, and you know how i feel about that. she doesn't swing too dramatically (like the others before her on the list), and she tends to put more of her body behind her slashes and parries rather than using her arm to tank it all which i really appreciate. i also REALLY noticed her grip (in a good way). mainly because i couldn't watch her footwork. that goes hand in hand with my previous point, you gotta have a good grip to put your body behind in strikes. i would say her biggest risk is getting her hand chopped off, but otherwise i reckon she fares quite well.
Number 1: she's an icon, she's a legend, and she IS the moment Emma Swan
really appreciate emma also managing the sword toss. anyway, tbf what i'm judging rn is one of her earliest swordfighting scenes GIRL DON'T DUCK UNDER A SWORD?? DON'T GET LOW FIRST OF ALL, AND SECONDLY IF YOU MISJUDGE YOU LOSE YOUR HEAD. please DODGE or PARRY or BLOCK. emma has the same big swinging problem as david. IF YOU LOSE YOUR SWORD DON'T GET CLOSER GET FURTHER. IDC HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO GET YOUR HANDS ON HOOK, THAT'S A GREAT WAY TO GET STABBED. then she CRAWLS (turning her back on her opponent) for her sword instead of JETTING IT. girl a sword is gonna do you no good when you're ON THE GROUND YOU CAN'T SWING OR STAB FOR SHIT. now if you pull up the clip and see her FIRST strike once she gets on her feet again, first of all: SHE WASN'T EVEN AIMING FOR ANY VITAL SPOT SHE SWUNG LIKE HALF A FOOT FROM HIS HEAD. secondly that grip is giving me second hand embarrassment. what is that.
next significant swordfight we see is with gold in season 4. her fencing-like stance?? cool. she is NOT leaving her torso or neck open to any stabbing whatsoever. she kept her free hand close to her body for a SIGNIFICANT portion of that fight which is AMAZING. homegirl is NOT risking her hand getting cut off. slay. also, when she's going for power, she has a two handed grip and puts her ENTIRE body behind the thrust. very impressed. she's also got GREAT footwork and she is putting PRESSURE on gold by advancing and pushing him back.
now, in her fights with gideon, she does a lot of very awkward and stiff two handed grip. girl PLEASE do not get lower to glance off, step to the SIDE. she falls back into big wide swings but she was going through something. i KNOW that's contradictory to what i said about killian, but EVERY other time she has powered through and this is the exception.
judgement: as much as i was making fun of her, we only see a few blunders most of which she was always going to survive because of how big a simp hook, not to mention those were within her first few DAYS of having a sword. she then went on to become who i think is the best swordfighter in the whole show, so emma clears all
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Proper noun: Ceetee Pronouns: It/Its* Common nouns: Girlthing, Tranny, Doll Adjectives: Trans, Mixed-Race, Aegosexual, Polyamorous, Plural Verbs: Game Design, Shitposting, Flirting
🖋 Last edited: 5/20/24
Unreasonably proud of that stupid grammar joke. Anyway yes, I'm Ceetee. While I am plural, I try to avoid the use of first person plural pronouns, except when we are specifically talking about our experiences with DID/Plurality. We also do our best to conceal who is fronting at all times (you can read more about that in the links about gender and plurality at the bottom of this post).
I'm a dork with very VERY strong opinions that I am VERY VERY vocal about. If you do not share those opinions, that is perfectly fine and probably to be expected. Just know that I am very obnoxious about them, so you will see them a lot. I have a lot of confidence on my stances and it is very unearned! That said I'm always happy to actually discuss this stuff, and also perfectly understanding of people unfollowing over it! Never feel like you HAVE to follow me for whatever obligation. Curate your feed, damn it!
For the pronoun exceptions mentioned above, It/Its are my pronouns for most people. If you aren't willing to call me that, well, I can't stop you. Use whatever you want, but I will absolutely be judging you for it. Though there are some exceptions. For people I'm intimate with (Romantic partners and people I'm in a QPR with), my pronouns are It/She. If you work for my HRT clinic my pronouns are She/Her because like fuck am I risking my HRT just because my doctor doesn't understand my gender. If you are a coworker my pronouns are He/Him and also I don't have a tumblr, please block me immediately, for both of our sakes.
I have a NSFW sideblog. You can probably guess its name pretty easily. If you can't, I'm happy to give it to anyone brave enough to DM me or send me an ask off anon. In fact, you can ask me basically anything about my life and I'll happily answer. I'm a pretty open book like that.
Rambles
I tend to ramble about various things. Usually when I do, I tag it as #text essay. Sometimes about gender and my views on it, but also just... stuff in general. Here is a list of some of the general stuff. Its usually just stupid pointless stuff, but its a good look into how my brain works.
The Darkspore Rant (Long)
Pokemon Picross Monetization Model
Movement in VR
Time is Fake as Hell
Fighters Should Have Magic
Where I Stand in Regards to AI Art
Identity stuff:
Bespoke Genders (Part 1)
On Detransition (Part 2)
Plurality (Part 2.5)
Plurality and Being Transgender (Part 3)
Fandom shit:
Pokemon Eggs, and the Fundamental Nature of the Pokemon Multiverse (Long)
List of FFXIV OCs (LONG. Its also a recap of 4 years of weekly FC RP)
Posts others have made but are very relevant to me and who I am:
Back When I Was A Boy (Not every trans femme used to be a boy, but I did and that is important to me)
The Scorpion and The Frog (I desperately need to get a tattoo of a scorpion and a frog. I can't read this without crying)
Tags
#text essay - As mentioned above, I use this for when my rambles go very very very long. The ones I like the most or feel are important enough I also add to this pinned.
#Zenos ♥ - For the FFXIV Character that I am super normal about (lying).
#dnd hate train - A tag that exists for blacklisting purposes at the request of a close friend. As a designer, I fucking HATE Dungeons and Dragons. I hate it a lot. And I talk a lot about how much I hate it.
#laugh rule - For that age old tumblr rule: "If it makes you actually genuinely Laugh Out Loud, you have to reblog it."
#peer reviewed tags - another, more modern tumblr rule. If I screenshot someones tags to share them, I add this tag to it.
#dudes rock - Essentially, just a bunch of guys doing stuff that is just 'boys being boys' in the fun sense and not the rapey sense, but also just a reminder that the world is better with these dudes in it, and a way for me to find happiness is the masculinity that made my childhood miserable.
#partner gushing - For when I am being GAY AS HELL about my partners, or reblogging something and going 'its because of one of them'
#talking to myself and #talking about myself - Conversations between me and my alters, and talking about my relationships with my alters, respectively. More details here.
I also just... ramble in the tags. A lot. I just add so much commentary in the tags. You will see A LOT of rambles.
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matchamilkislover · 1 year
Text
In The Darkest Corners, 2.
pairing: vi x fem!oc (reader with a name)
warnings: mature themes, suggested violence.
word count: 1,242
synopsis: after breaking into stillwater, a top-security prison, olive finds the prisoner she’s looking for to be even less friendly than she expected. and a bit more aggressive.
author’s note: originally published january 2023.
don’t forget to read part 1 first!!
⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆ ⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆ ⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚
Olive froze. Whoever was in that cell, it certainly wasn't her mother; but by the look and sound of this inmate, she wasn't sure if she should be all that relieved. But she knew what she needed to do. Taking a deep breath, she spoke.
"I'm Olive. Are you inmate 516?" She asked with as steady a voice as she could muster.
"Depends who's asking," the figure responded gruffly. The voice sounded dark and vaguely female, but Olive wasn't sure. All she could see was a muscular figure pacing back and forth.
"I was told you might have some information I'm looking for," Olive continued, trying not to let the inmate intimidate her.
"And you broke into this shithole to get it? Must be important then." They chuckled darkly.
"It was all Achlan-" Olive was cut off.
"Achlan? Don't tell me you work for that bastard." The figure suddenly stopped and turned towards her. She seemed to be a woman with cropped hair and sharp features, but apart from her aggressive stance, Olive couldn't make out any more details.
"No, I don't. But that's not the point." Olive took a breath, mustering up her courage to step over the red line marked on the floor and get close to the cell bars. "I've spent the last year searching for my mother, Eleanor Whitlock. I've heard whispers of her working with industrialists in the Undercity, but nothing more than that. You're my only lead."
Inmate 516 sighed and resumed her(?) pacing. "Sorry, I've never heard of any 'Eleanor Whitlock'. By the sound of it though, my guess is she was some rich topsider that got too close with undercity business and reaped the consequences. Not uncommon."
"No!" Olive exclaimed. Her voice came out louder than intended, and she silently kicked herself. "My mother wouldn't have done anything like that. I know her. I've heard whispers of her working with the industrialist, Silco, but-" The inmate suddenly rushed forward and grabbed Olive by the front of her shirt, pulling her close to the bars — and her suddenly illuminated face.
"She worked with Silco?" She growled, glaring so hard that Olive thought her eyes might burst into flames. Olive was stunned, not only by the fact that she was currently being held so tightly she was lifted onto her toes, but also by the appearance of perhaps the most attractive person she had ever seen.
The inmate's face was angular and littered with scars, her nose clearly having been broken more than a few times and a roman numeral tattoo marked under her left eye. Olive could tell that she was strong as hell, not only by the fact that she was lifted off the ground, but also by the sight of her stocky, muscular build that was accentuated by large tattoos. She had to force herself to pull her eyes away from the inmate and focus on the task at hand.
"No," she gasped out, "I-I'm not sure, I've only heard his name mentioned once or twice. I thought he was just doing normal business." Olive's chest rose and fell heavily as she struggled to keep her breathing even.
The muscled inmate dropped her. "You topsiders really don't know shit, huh? The undercity's going to eat you alive."
"Not if I can help it." Olive replied. "And you're going to help me. I need information, now."
"Oh I can get you information," 516 smirked, leaning on the bars with her hands dangling lazily around them. "Just not from in here."
Olive held up the keys that had been digging into her palm and sighed. "I just know I'm going to regret this."
Shit. She quickly realized that the many keys on the ring were NOT labeled, and she had no way of knowing which one would unlock 516's cell. She began jumbling with the keys, fitting each one into the lock and growing more and more anxious as she started running out of keys.
"Would you hurry the fuck up?" The inmate hissed, earning her a glare from an already stressed Olive.
"Sorry, I'm not exactly a prison break-in pro, as you can probably tell," She hissed back. Finally, a key slid into the lock easily and clicked. Right as the lock opened, however, voices echoed towards the two of them from down the hall.
"Somebody had to have taken my keys," a low, scratchy voice growled. Olive could see glimpses of what seemed like two large figures — guards, she realized as her heart dropped — who were flashing torches into each cell, clearly looking for whoever had stolen the keys. Looking for her.
The prisoner acted fast, unlike Olive, who was frozen in fear. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, she had forced open the door and yanked Olive inside, pushing her up against a dark niche in her cell with her hand covering Olive's mouth. Wordlessly, 516 held Olive in a firm grip and kept her eyes and ears trained on the now closed cell door.
Meanwhile, Olive's heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. Here she was, hiding from a guard during a prison break-in, and all she could think about was how she was being held against the wall by a very attractive person who had nearly half a foot on her in height. Shit, she needed to focus. The guards' steps were drawing closer.
"Who's down here again, 516? Yeah, that one's trouble alright." Another gruff voice, clearly belonging to another guard, grunted out with a rough chuckle. Olive watched as 516 clenched her jaw and gently let her go, holding up her finger to signal to Olive to stay silent as she waltzed towards the center of her cell — where she would be most visible. Olive held her breath.
One of the guards ran his thick baton along the bars of the cell as both guards walked into view. With a sinister smile on his face, the same guard with a baton looked 516 up and down with another gruff chuckle.
"Cause any trouble lately, 516? Seems my friend here is missing his keys." The other guard grunted.
"I'm flattered that you would think of me, Flock, but I unfortunately have no idea where Flick's precious keys have run off to," She said smoothly, pulling off the boldfaced lie brilliantly.
"Shame. We haven't had a...talk in a while," Flock responded, resting his baton on the floor and letting a vicious expression take over his face.
"I know, so sad." 516 replied sarcastically with gritted teeth. "Maybe next time?"
Flock's smile widened, showing rows of sharp teeth. "Oh, there's always a next time."
Once the guards had sauntered away and there was silence for a few moments, Olive let out a long-held breath and let herself slump against the wall.
"I'm never doing anything like this ever again," she sighed quietly.
"I hate to break it to you, but we're about to do a lot more of this," 516 replied with a playful, yet still grim air to her. "Now all we have to do is get out of here."
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torchickentacos · 20 days
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cmon cmon, talk shit harder, which youtuber was it, what did they do
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JKHGKJDFNGKJDFGN okay so I won't say which youtuber because it's a fairly small one relative to the rest of commentarytube but I AM willing to give into rage a little bit. Context- I'd made a post saying that it bugs me that youtubers don't always research topics well before giving commentary on them, my example being cosmetic dentistry (which is an industry that has been under a lot of fire lately- the beauty industry and cosmetic procedure industry as a whole). My issue is with the way that youtubers spread misinformation and fearmongering about these topics and procedures for the sake of 'fuck beauty standards! look at me go! fuck the system! wooo!' rather than taking a realistic approach to these conversations.
I have strong feelings on this topic! I have Ehlers Danlos syndrome (I promise this is leading somewhere). Certain types of EDS have dental implications and complications, and I've struggled with them. I had braces in high school and despite following the care instructions by the letter, I ended up with significant and visible enamel decay around the brackets likely due to enamel hypoplasia (underdevelopment). I opted for a crown on the worst of them and veneers on a few others to cover the damage and as an extra layer of protection (though it's worth noting that veneers are largely cosmetic).
As such, when I see several videos being made with people going 'look what they do to your beautiful natural teeth for veneers :(' (before then showing the procedure for crowns or even implants and then speaking negatively about those who give and receive these procedures), I... have opinions!
It begs the question to me- was my choice a bad one because I played into a predatory cosmetic industry while also dealing with a genuine health complication? At what point are elective cosmetic procedures morally okay? What justifies them? Am I a victim of societal beauty standards or someone who made a good choice for herself? Both? I am genuinely happy with my decision. I haven't regretted it for a second. I've smiled more in the last few years than I have since I was a kid. But am I part of the problem like some people seem to imply?
I'm going to partake in some what-aboutism but I truly feel that it's relevant. What about other elective procedures? They're all exercises of personal autonomy. Are only some of those okay? The person who survived breast cancer doesn't need breast reconstruction on a physical level. Is it still justified? We've seen tons of people arguing about gender reaffirming/reconstructive surgeries even though they save lives. At what point do cosmetic procedures fall under that umbrella? What is and is not okay? What autonomy is and is not frowned upon?
My stance is that the cosmetic surgery industry is predatory and needs better regulation, but ultimately it's a person's choice. Sometimes that choice is influenced by outside factors when it shouldn't be but that's something that people need to take into account for themselves before deciding rather than a reason to make them illegal as I've seen some people put forth as an option. This is a precarious time to be messing with 'which elective procedures are okay and which aren't and which should be legal'. I personally would rather err on the side of personal autonomy in every situation possible.
I believe in a person’s right to cosmetic surgery as an extension of my belief in personal autonomy. I believe in viewing cosmetic surgery as a morally neutral decision. The industry is predatory but I think it also has the capacity to greatly improve lives. I think many things can be true at once and I think that the recent wave of commentary on the industry lacks nuance.
Caveats for if this gains any traction: I did not say that I think everyone should adhere to beauty standards. I did not say that I think the industry is great, actually. I did not say that people should uncritically accept the ideals that are marketed toward them. I did not say that elective surgeries are vital to happiness or presentation of any sort. None of what I said exists in a vacuum and there are infinite complications to my opinions and there are situations in which I might double back on myself, but this is just a general opinion.
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