crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
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hi would you say the barrier of entry for sailing is very high?
my family had a house near the beach so i spent every summer in the sea so i absolutely ADORE IT and wanted to learn how to sail recreationally but it's always seemed so expensive + hard to get into
advice or opinions are greatly appreciated if you have any to offer<3
btw i love ur blog ty :)
i would absolutely encourage you to try sailing out and i think it's a great sport to get into! i have introduced dozens of people to sailing so far and almost all of them hit the ground running. the learning curve is steep and even just joining for the first times without touching anything is exhilarating so no moment learning is wasted. strong motion sickness or a paralyzing fear of the ocean notwithstanding, i truly think everyone can learn the ropes (haha) and that quickly! we always joke that it is very easy to get a boat sailing and very hard to get it sailing fast, but you have the rest of the life to figure out the latter and even if you don't you will have a grand time on the water.
you did not specify if you want to get on a sailing yacht (that you can sleep and do long tours on) or a smaller dhingy so i will answer both and i hope it is helpful!
SAILING YACHTS:
when it comes to sailing yacht, the real challenge is not sailing but owning a boat, and that is where the financial barriers come in. i will not lie to you - owning a boat is really expensive, and i am talking 5 to 6 figures a year expensive for a middle-sized sailing yacht including mooring, fixes, equipment, utilities, tools, and everything else. you can absolutely find cheap boats sold at every coast line - but buying a boat is not expensive, having a boat is. (guy who just bought a rope for 600 human dollars voice) heed my warning.
THE GOOD NEWS: you absolutely do NOT need a boat to learn sailing on a yacht. everywhere there is a marina there is people looking for crew, and many sailing clubs have programmes for beginners to get you on a yacht and try it out! there are also many summer programmes to join on larger tours and learn sailing. i would encourage you to bring a friend or two because it's much easier to flounder around on a new ship in groups, but it is absolutely worth trying out and again - even being on a boat is exiting, and you learn by doing!
now. sailing is not a dangerous sport and this is my heightened sense for safety of a sailing instructor speaking. but! if you join on a boat even as a visitor please think of that sailing tumblr blog in your life and tell the captain that before you go out of the water you would like to know: 1) the number for local search and rescue, and 2) the position of the fire extinguisher, the lifeboat/life ring, and the emergency shut-off and 3) that you want to wear a life vest unrelated to weather conditions. if they make jokes about you being a worry-wart, take them in stride, but if they refuse to do any of this, you tell them that they are irresponsible and leave. things rarely go wrong but they can and i want you to know what to do. okay? sailing is not scary but being unprepared is. okay PSA over.
DHINGY SAILING:
dhingy sailing is the most fun, the closest to the water, and the fastest way to learning sailing because you are together with one other person max facing the winds. yes you will most certainly get wet, but it is very safe, close to shore, incredibly fun and exhilarating, teaching you self-reliance, reflexes, trains your sense of balance and gives you abs. it's the perfect sport. can you tell i teach dhingy sailing
if you want to learn dhingy sailing, again, do NOT immediately buy a dhingy. while they are far less expensive they are still a hassle and setting up the mast without knowing your way around a boat will discourage you from sailing forever. instead, again, join a sailing club or a short course to learn dhingy sailing!
many places can give you intensive courses and certificates that qualify you to lend out dhingys afterwards our you join a sailing club with their own dhingys (which there are a lot of everywhere!). most offer weekly or even daily sailing lessons and group sailing and faster than you know you will flying over the water. the financial barrier here could be the course cost as they vary widely (my students pay 50 euros a year but some places will cost you that or more an hour it's hard to gauge). apart from that, you will have to invest in a neoprene suit and a sailing west, but that's the extent of it.
all in all, give sailing a try! it is the most rewarding hobby i can think of and my heart aches for everyone who lives at the coast and doesn't best the waves one way or another. and again, i cannot stress it enough: being on the water is half the fun. everything else will happen in due time. the ocean waits for you! happy sailing!
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I know I talk about Sister Location too much but fucking IMAGINE being the guy they send down after Michael. Like you’re (likely) a new hire and the little robot they gave you goes “Hey! Welcome to Circus Baby’s! Just FYI there’s three people down there that need to clock off and go home, please tell them to leave.”
So you go down there and there are no animatronics at all but there are two guys that are hanged on the stages where the robots should be and a room in the back that’s just covered in blood and organs.
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