#Like she honestly has no idea what disabled means

[0last-ditch-effort0]

I know I'm supposed to be good and gracious and kind but yaknow what? Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish ableists would develop disabilities-chronic fatigue and pain and migraines and the rest of it- and I wanna give em a lick of what they gave me. How does it feel, to be told your best isn't good enough? That you're not trying hard enough? You can break your back and it'll never be enough to please me. Get a taste of your own fucking medicine

[pastadoughie]

can non intersex trans people please stop putting intersexism and bio essentialism shit on my dash like??? all the time???

whenever i try to talk about nuance in transphobia and point out blatant intersexism i am simultaneously made out to be a stupid naive little bitch woman who doesnt know what shes talking about and an evil misogynistic man when i am neither. its textbook erasure and dehumanization no matter how polite and understanding i try to be. and i am talking SPECIFICALLY about trans people. often because perisex trans people are WORSE at recognizing and correcting their intersexism because they view themselves as "above" bioessentialism for their transness,,, its honestly tiring

the way sexism presents is the fundamental idea that :

women by default have LESS agency

and men by default have MORE agency

i feel like i shouldnt have to tell you that this is dehumanization of BOTH, but ill do it anyway. someones agency in a given situation depends on a VARIETY of different factors, like class / race / disability / location / & the political views of the community they are in

moreover "man" and "woman" are not actually defined terms. for example, being a victim of misogyny has ZERO correlation to whether or not you are a woman, in BOTH ways that people categorize womanhood. either as a biological trait (or a collection of traits) or as an identity label

if you get catcalled on the street that is not because you ARE a woman but because you are PERCEIVED AS ONE by the catcaller. someones profiling of you as a woman being accurate DOESNT MEAN IT ISNT PROFILING. literally NOBODY has a chromosome detector 3000.

so many forms of gender based discrimination perpetrated in the queer community COMPLETELY skip over these nuances in discrimination and often get EXTREMELY ANGRY when you try to point them out! this is often because people have this inherent belief that they are somehow transcendent and that they DO magically have a chromosome detector 3000, that their profiling is magically always correct, and this belief is tied to their ego.

moreover people mischaracterize sexism as just "hating women" and NOT actually as "sorting people arbitrarily into boxes for their perceived genders", if you are a TERF you are EXACTLY THE SAME AMOUNT OF SEXIST as someone who believes women shouldnt be allowed to vote. they still hold the fundamental idea of men by default having more agency.

i think TERFism is a wonderful example of how people can be sexist against men and the harm that it causes, because that is the ideological core of radfem politics.

people perceived as "male" when placed in a community full of people seen as "female" are automatically seen as predatory for their perceived privilege (regardless of if those privileges actually apply in that setting at all! look at transfemmes! they get literally zero benefits from their perceived manhood, and yet are still seen as predatory because of it ). when i speak about "misandry" however loaded the word is- this is what i am referring to, the assumptions and discrimination that comes from being arbitrarily placed in a gender category seen as having universally more agency.

because agency isnt innate or biological this sorting into categories is ALWAYS sexism even if they benefit the person!!

this is why i think phrases like "TME" are inherently harmful, because weather or not someone is seen as a "man" or a "woman" is completely arbitrary and can differ wildly depending on not only the person doing the profiling, but also the context of the situation. trans-misogyny, being seen as a "man" trying to "invade" a "womans space" is not exclusive to transfemmes nor even universally applies TO transfemmes.

moreover its why i hate the word "trans-androphobia" because its not even descriptive of the perception of being a "girl" trying to be a "man"

i think in general the shorthand the trans community uses lacks so much fucking nuance and is baked in with intersexism and bio essentialism  pretty much as a rule.. i think it's infinitely more clear to use words corresponding to what exactly the profiling of whoever is being bigoted is far more helpful and clear, but in order for something like that to be clear it needs to actually be used with nuance and keeping in mind the fact that discrimination is based on PROFILING and not off of any kind of objective reality. In which words that just mean "the type of discrimination transmen go through" is ambiguous and unhelpful on every level.

if you wanna be less intersexist YOU NEED TO LET GO of the idea that certain people universally have more/less agency AS WELL AS THE IDEA that you are universally exempt from or included in any kind of gender based discrimination

[rosen-dovecote]

@autisticslp asked (on the old blog):

So a lot of cooking advice that people tend to give that seems very basic honestly comes from decades of experience; there's a post that floats around Tumblr sometimes, actually, that talks about how a lot of "cooking from intuition" isn't actually intuition at all. It's deeply ingrained memorization about the "laws of cooking" that we've learned over time, that feel like second nature to us to the point where we no longer have to think about it or physically reference recipes or tutorials anymore.

In essence: We're good at "taking what we have on hand and making a meal of it" because we have a lot of practice! We've built up a skill! A skill you're lacking in. And that's not a bad thing! But it also means that you shouldn't be too hard on yourself because you don't know or can't seem to grasp this stuff that seems so "second nature" or "easy" to a lot of the cooks you know. You're still really new at this! And with various disabilities and mental illnesses, cognitive issues, etc? Of course you're going to struggle harder at it than "most" seem to, to you!

As a secondary aside to that, you mentioned growing up on a farm. But farming and gardening, and the various forms of food preservation that frequently comes alongside small family subsistence farms, is a very different skill set! Knowing what's seasonal in your garden doesn't necessarily inherently translate into cooking it, and building a full meal up from scratch unless you also had someone who had that skill as well to teach you that.

I know my Husband's mom sure as hell didn't. He grew up on a farm like that, and she could can all day ... But Lord. She couldn't cook to save her life. She attempted to impart neither of these skills to my Husband, either ... I grew up on one, as well. But where my mom couldn't can or garden to save her life, she was a damned good cook and imparted those skills to me. Now I'm passing them on to my Husband decades later, because his mother failed to.

What you're ultimately missing is a fundamental set of basic skills, and a knowledge set built up over time and practice. And the good news is, those are really simple skills to learn. The bad news is, it does take a while to learn them and to build up that pool of knowledge. Most of it's experimentation, though, and not a lot of it's super difficult.

For basic knowledge of cooking science and spices, I'd recommend The Science of Cooking and The Science of Spice- both by Dr. Stuart Farrimond. I own both and love them dearly. They'll debunk some common myths, and give you a basic understanding of certain food sciences that are honestly really helpful.

When you feel like you're ready to actually sit down and experiment with spices, I love The Encyclopedia of Spices and Herbs: An Essential Guide to the Flavors of the World by Padma Lakshmi. It has information on various spices, tells you their cultural contexts, mentions what they're usually used on in those contexts (vegetables, which meats, etc), and even gives you some common cultural spice blends (though doesn't provide measurements). It's a thick boy, but it's a really fun one to work through if you have no introduction to spices or idea how to use them.

Past that, something you need to build yourself is a well stocked pantry with staple basics. I can't tell you what those are for you. That's something you have to figure out for yourself based on what you cook, how often, etc. But my minimum has always been at least 2 months worth of food in my pantry at any given time, across a broad enough spectrum that I can pick just about anything out of a recipe and only really need to shop for the fresh or immediate-need ingredients each week.

Staple Grains like Rice, Lentils, Cous Cous, and Quinoa.

Pasta Noodles of various types- like Elbow, Rigatoni, Bowtie, Penne, Fettuccini, and Spaghetti

Potatoes in the form of Mashed Potatoes and Scalloped Potatoes both, as well as a "fresh" bag each of Russet, Yellow, and Red Potatoes

Onions. I keep a mesh bag each of Red and Yellow (or White; whichever's cheapest at the time I'm shopping) on hand at all times.

Boxes of Stock (Chicken, Beef, Vegetable, and Protein Broth when I can find it)

Canned items that I use a lot of, like Diced Tomatoes, Tomato Sauce, Tomato Paste, every kind of Bean (Cannellini, Great Northern, Dark Red, Light red, Black, Pinto, etc), and Chickpeas; plus canned fish (Tuna and Salmon, Sardines, etc)

Condensed Creams Of (Chicken and Mushroom are the two we use most often)

Spices. Of every kind. You literally do not want to see my spice box. It's insane. Yes I'm proud of it. But it would make the average person cry with confusion and fear.

Frozen Veggies in the freezer (Green Beans, Brussel Sprouts, Broccoli, Carrots, Squashes, etc; personally I prefer the frozen to the canned)

I'm sure there's stuff I'm forgetting. But ultimately when you have a full pantry and only have to buy your fresh or immediate-need ingredients? It not only massively saves your grocery bill each week, but it also makes it so much easier to "make things with what you have on hand". Because a large part of the trick is, honestly, having things on hand to make stuff with in the first place. And that's really the big secret that goes unspoken in a lot of circles. But it really shouldn't be an unspoken secret, because it holds so many people back.

Another secret is just knowing basic cooking methods. What is chopping vs dicing? How do you pan fry? What's a dry fry vs a wet fry? What about baking? Broiling? Boiling? What happens if you stew an ingredient instead? How big does it have to be for each of these methods? How does it perform with rice as opposed to cous cous? How is it raw- if it can be eaten raw? Other than that, just knowing recipes is really going to be the big key.

Unfortunately I don't have a recommend for learning any of these ones, since I learned all this the hard way. I do see some cook books that could be useful (like Veg-table: Recipes, Techniques, and Plant Science for Big-Flavored Vegetable-Focused Meals by Nik Sharma; or Vegetables: The Ultimate Cookbook Featuring 300+ Delicious Plant-Based Recipes by Laura Sorkin). I can't personally recommend them, however, because I've never read or used them. But there's a lot of information out there on youtube that can be very helpful, especially for methodology since it's a visual medium- which is, I think, the best way to learn some of these skills in particular.

Personally, I did the recipe thing by looking at cuisines from regions where those foods or ingredients were really popular. So take your Eggplant for example. Eggplants feature a lot in Mediterranean, Levantine, and Middle Eastern cuisines. So when you want to learn how to use Eggplant and build up your knowledge about it? Looking at the people in those regions who use this ingredient a lot already is going to be really helpful to you. They know what they're doing with it!

When you've made those dishes a few times, you're going to get an understanding not only of how to prepare Eggplant for various methods of cooking, and how to cook it for those methods. But you're also going to get an understanding of what flavors pair well with it. And after a while of doing that, you're naturally going to start thinking "what if I do x instead?" and start experimenting on your own. Play with them. Get to know the ingredient on the most foundational level. And yeah, throw some herbs on it if you're comfortable! See what meshes with what flavors. What do you like? And yeah, some of those are going to be flops. But by the time you start thinking "what if" your skills are usually further progressed than you'd think to give yourself credit for. Just ask my Husband, ha!

As for the stuff regarding disability, mental illness, and cognitive function, I gotchu, babe! One of the most distressing things for me when I became disabled, started suffering really bad from cognitive decline, and started dealing with memory loss, was looking at the potential of never being able to cook for myself again. And that scared the piss out of me, because cooking is my joy. And so my Husband and I sat down and prioritized cooking and making it disability friendly for me. Here's some of the stuff we did.

First step: Get your butt a stool that's a comfortable height for your counter height. Once acquired, sit as much as you can in the kitchen. It conserves energy and lets you use more of it to focus your head.

Second: Get yourself all those fun little gadgets you think look interesting or helpful. Personally I have a fruit slicer (that works on more than just apples), a slap chopper microplane thingy, and a few others. Mostly I got these because occasionally my body loses my hands and has no idea where they went and it's safer for me. But I can't tell you how nice they are even when my body knows where my hands are, ha; they speed up prep, keep your fingers safe (usually), and leave more room for the brain to do its thing.

Third: Make as many lists as you can! I have a list on the inside of all my pantry doors of the staples that are in that section. When something needs refilling it allows me to put a mark there so I know to put it on the grocery list. But it also provides a quick reference when my brain's tired; it's so much easier for me to read a list than try and decipher box labels with various colors, font sizes, etc. Make lists wherever you need them and always keep them accessible.

Fourth: The recipe box. Yes. A good, old fashioned, classic recipe box. I have mine filled with tried and true recipes that I know for a fact my Husband and I love, that I know we have at least 90% of the ingredients on hand for at any given moment. So if all else fails and I can't think of anything? I can just go pull something out of the box and have him jot down to the store for anything we don't have.

Fifth: Keep easy meals on stock, because some days you really can't cook. Your brain won't let you, and that's ok! That's fine! But you still gotta eat, right? So we keep stuff like bagged Blackened Chicken Alfredo, Dirty Rice, Mongolian Beef, Jambalaya, Broccoli Beef, Red Beans & Rice, etc, on hand in the outdoor fridge. If at any point I just can't do it? We grab some of those instead.

And the good news is, you can spruce up a quick meal! Making Dirty Rice? Throw in some bread and butter, and a side of boiled Green Beans from the garden. Blackened Chicken Alfredo? Throw some Bell Pepper on in there; you can bulk this stuff up easily with your produce, and it takes even less effort most of the time.

As for the Covid sense of taste / smell? Keep trucking. It does get better; I suffered bad from Post-Covid Parosmia for nearly 2 years after I caught Covid the first time- bad enough to the point I couldn't bathe myself because of the smell of our water being nauseating to me; couldn't eat anything with Corn, or Wheat, or Onion, or Garlic in it for a year, either. the second I tried, my body auto rejected it. Bananas tastes like Iris flowers smelt ... I feel your pain so hard.

But it does get better. Your system is just rewiring itself completely from scratch right now. And Lord, it's so unpleasant. But the more you give it to taste, and smell, the better it does and the faster it rewires itself. Don't force yourself to eat things that are nauseating or unpleasant. But do branch out. Experiment. Even if it tastes left of how you remember it, keep going! I can't promise you'll get everything back (Lord knows there's still some things that aren't quite right for me, even 4 years later now). But it gets better!

I hope any of this helps- even if it's not as helpful if you'd like it to be. Hang in there, love.

My ask box is always open and Anon is currently ON.

[wackpedion]

Hey can we talk about how disheartening it is when as a disabled person unable to work you're given money to live off of but its actually nowhere close to being able to live off of? And how it makes no sense? I am disabled, I have been officially judged by the welfare department as being unable to and/or impacted in my ability to work, so theoretically the money I recieve is to make up for this and ensure that I can live, but it's literally not even enough to cover rent most places let alone other bills and food. I am lucky in that I live with my mom and she covers many costs, but not everyone has that option, that or staying with their parents or a partner means staying in an abusive or harmful environment, studies show disabled people are more likely to be abused. This system is trapping them. And so then you're presented with two choices: Work, no matter how hard and damaging it is to your mind and body and health so you might be able to live, or do what you can with what little money the government gives you, if it's even possible, at detriment to you and your quality of life.

And honestly, this just feels like the government doesn't care and wants us to die. That's the message they're sending, when they say "we recognize you can't work, but we won't give you the money you need to be able to live". And what's sickening is that the people around us don't bat an eye about this and may even think what we do get we don't deserve or is enough. My own father went on an angry tirade to me about how he has to pay alot of taxes, a portion of which go to this, which just tells me he doesn't care about me or my disabled friends and familys wellbeing. That he would rather us die or destroy ourselves working so he has a bit more money in his pocket. It's a sick individualistic mindset, to only worry about yourself, and not care about having a functioning society in which everyone is taken care of, including your family, friends, and even yourself, in the case you become disabled or simply grow old. Who doesn't want that? To be against that isn't only harming your close ones but also yourself. Why are you so upset about the idea of contributing to a society that takes care of its people.

This is a bit of an unprompted post, this topic has just been on my mind for a while. I wish things were better for us and that we could all live the lifes we deserve

[qui-gg]

opinion on the bog ii 🤖🤖🤖

I’ll assume you mean bot and answer accordingly

(Drops art i havent shared and wasnt really planning to. But its appropriate for the things ill talk about yay)

Fun fact i didn’t really have a strong opinion of bots character for a while but then one day i woke up and went “I have an idea for a gjinka” and it caused me to get into their character and now its like my fav gjinka to draw

(Some fun facts about that gjinka design: their head is completely magnetic, and their “hair” is a set of completely removable accessories so their natural state is bald, they can add as much or as little as they want. Also they continue to wear a little pink because i was thinking of the “I can still like chocolate cake” line- they can still like pink too)

I LOVE BOT. Even though i have thoughts and opinions about the iffy nature they were implemented overall i love the concept of a character who was made to be someone else and theyve given me a lot to chew on which i appreciate with a character. What really fascinates me about them is how their interactions with other characters play out so id like to talk more about that⬇️

Their relationship with Cabby was what caused me to create the gjinka design in the first place, and then I found a song that made me think of them and i was like Wow. Bot and cabby’s initial impressions of one another being somewhat at odds due to miscommunication but ultimately other factors (cabby’s disability and bot’s suppression of their fake memory- wow they both have memory issues!) was something that lasted a while but then iii14 saw the end of bot’s assumptions of her being strained when they finally had the chance to actually talk with one another. Bot assumed that Cabby was obsessed with finding a way to explain their existence and identity which they very much felt didn’t need an explanation for who they were, but they realized this is only the way cabby processes the world around her they both place importance on identity both with not knowing their pasts and carving a way for their futures the way they are and they can do it together agh i love ittt

Here my gjinkas of them with an outfit styleswap

One day i kind of started placing suitcase in bots position to cabby though and i just think about their potential relationship primarily now though LMAO but thats unrelated

With fan and test tube I had stronger opinions about how the circumstances/reasons behind creating them weren’t strong enough and it caused both of their characters to backslide from where they were in ii14 but now i like to look at it and take what i can get from it because i like it when characters do bad and questionable things its interesting to analyze why they did something so selfish. In fan’s case he didnt have a strong connection with bow’s death when it happened beyond being a fan of her bc of his low empathy at the time especially he didnt process it as Death, and he believes he knows everything about bow as the number1 fan so now hes the best person for the job, and test tube coldly decides to recreate the image of a person under the idea shes now using her strengths for a good cause, but shes wrong and she has to learn shes wrong. Theyre not bot’s parents- but it’s easiest for them to describe them that way, since they created them, but that’s not quite how their relationship is at all. Bot has no real familial ties with them, and test tube created them with the sold intention of being somebody other than they are, so that’s always going to stick with them and theyre not just a blindly happy family now. Bot is also a grown adult that doesnt just go away they shouldn’t be infantilized so much. They can be friends with fan and test tube because they now recognize them as Bot but honestly theyd prefer keeping a distance when they can because they wish they were made intentionally or were just a person, but they appreciate being created. Its a pretty unique situation

What really fascinates me the most though is the concepts of how they are in relation to Bow, with the concept of being created as a replication of someone who already exists being so terrifying for both involved. In Bot’s perspective, their conscious is being repressed intentionally to continue living someone else’s life who they never even knew and doesnt identify with. And everyone is acting like its fine and okay when theyre the only one who seems to see how scary this is. They just struggle to grasp with their very existence with the only thing to guide them being a paragraph of a character description and to spew references that dont make sense. In BOWS perspective, she was a celebrity and the most popular contestant in the first season of a reality show, and even after dying on it the fans just screamed for her to “come back” though it was impossible. So her likeness kept getting replicated by both the show (doughs inclusion) and fans (bots creation) who both misrepresented her and she could do nothing but watch it play out. Her death was being denied and other people were living her life just because she was popular on a show, it’s terrifying. Terrifying and despair inducing for both of them theyd both have a disdain for one another on an existential degree, and bot finding their identity is freeing for both of them.

Lifetime achievement award made me insane abt this thanks panks

:D ive talked long enough so thanks for reading this far if you made ittt ! More art

[vergess]

A work friend of mine's daughter has recently developed (?) schizophrenia. He seems to like my advice in general, and in particular thinks I gave him helpful advice about handling traumatic experiences he's had, and so talks to me about this a lot. I've tried to give advice along the lines of prioritizing her comfort/well-being/calmness over her "connection to reality" (his words), like not picking arguments over things she says in pursuit of correcting her, similar to taking care of someone with dementia.

Do you have any points I can focus on or resources I can look up to support him and by extension his daughter better? I'm not very familiar with the subject but do know that in looking this up I'm wading through a lot of stuff that's not very supported or with the schizophrenic person's well being and agency in mind.

You're exactly right about the comparison to dementia. Although not nearly as severe an illness, schizophrenia is one of those "redirect not reinforce" conditions.

So, one of the big things you can suggest, especially while the person is in the early period of onset (which can happen over the course of a year at any age, but usually between 20 and 30), is try to help them make plans for the future. Which sounds big and scary, but it mostly consists of honestly going through with them to make lists of the things they enjoy, the things that stress them out, etc. Because there is going to come a time, and it's sooner than anyone wants, where remembering what she finds relaxing will become impossible on her own (at least, during periods of high stress; she may always be able to self regulate in normal conditions).

Schizophrenia often makes people feel deeply afraid and out of control of their own thoughts, which is really scary!!

But your friend's daughter is likely still able to remember what things she enjoyed before the onset of her illness. Whenever she gets too wound up in a fearful delusion, rather than trying to combat the delusion, I suggest redirecting her to one of the things she enjoys, whatever that may be. A hobby, a movie, etc.

It's important that the idea for the redirection initially come from the schizophrenic person themself. This way, you can honestly say, "hey, remember when you said you like X, why don't we try some X together," and it be something reaffirming to the person's sense of control rather than fighting it.

Of course, if the delusion isn't fearful/scary/stressful, the best thing to do is to accept that it is her genuine reality right now, and just work around that belief. No need to start a fight and make it stressful.

Another thing is, and this is MUCH more controversial in the west but I'll go ahead and say it. Another thing is, if the daughter's voices are friendly or kind, to support her engaging with them (if she so chooses). This way if/when her voices become mean she can choose to "disengage" with them as a conscious change. In practical terms, this means if his daughter is ever having conversations with her voices that seem to be in good spirits, to treat that more like she is talking on the phone with someone you don't know, than to treat it as a scary hallucination.

Then, if the voices ever get mean, she can "give them the silent treatment" to help establish a sense of control over them and help her feel like she doesn't have to listen to them.

In a way, it can be good to conceptualize her voices as "influential strangers" and just encourage her to listen to good influences and ignore bad ones.

Finally, depending on where the daughter lives and her support needs, it might be good to get her registered with the healthcare service in your area sooner than later. In the US, a young person with schizophrenia automatically qualifies for medicaid and can also qualify for disability. Both will need to be applied for, and the application process is a byzantine mess.

Especially regarding disability, it is best to hire a lawyer to make your application (they will be paid out of your benefits not your pocket).

As such, if your coworker's daughter is unlikely to be able to live entirely on her own, including job, hygiene, travel, etc it's a good idea to get there registrations started ASAP. That way if the coworker ever becomes sick or when he eventually dies, etc the daughter can be supported.

If the daughter has low support needs and is likely to be able to live on her own (which can and does happen sometimes!! Even with schizophrenia), one of the biggest challenges she's going to face in the long term is going to the doctor.

Not only are doctors deeply, deeply scary to the mentally ill in the west (for good reason!), which makes doctors a prime target for delusions of fear and abuse. But also delusional thinking can interfere with a person's ability to identify their own body sensations.

EG, it is very common for schizophrenics to "be really angry and not know why" and it turns out it's because they have a UTI but couldn't feel it due to delusions. In fact, it's so common that one of the first things we do at work when a client is very upset like that, is ask them if they have been peeing more often (the answer is usually 'yes').

A huge part of the reason people with schizophrenia die young is the inability to tell when they are sick, followed by feeling unsafe going to the doctor.

Ultimately, the biggest thing to remember is that no matter how stressed or scared you are as a carer, the person with the illness is just as of more stressed. They aren't fighting you, they're fighting terror. Remembering that can make the intense demands of caring for someone with higher support needs less draining.

The second biggest thing is to remember to take time for yourself, because if you burn out as a carer, then you've left your kid without support for potentially months or years, and that's pretty bad compared to having them go to a fun adult program like a summer camp every day for a month while you recover.

Finally: there are more programs for schizophrenia support than you think. Even in my rural bumfuck town of 3000, we have two (2) different programs, including a year round day program that operates 5 days a week and takes walk ins.

Your coworker does not have to take care of his daughter alone. Support exists.

[daaedoodles]

im keeping up w all your disabled regina hcs and they’re amazing. you’re doing such a service to the disabled mean girls fandom 🫶

YOURE SO SWEET I ADORE YOU AND YOUR HEADCANONS and of course!!

disabled regina george literally means the world to me and it makes so much perfect sense. i just feel like everyone needs to get on board of the idea at least that regina has chronic pain because honestly the idea that she recovered perfectly fully and lives with zero consequences to her health after being hit by a bus and dying for 15 seconds is… no way. like no way in hell i’m telling you that girl has PTSD and chronic health issues.

i love the idea that the disability and the recovery from the accident, not the idea that she died for 15 seconds, is what made her change — and being absolutely doped out on painkillers and disarmed to just her real self and not the mean girl persona she forced herself into so strongly that she became it made it easier for other people to see that change

i was both surprised and not surprised not many people had talked about it? basically no one aside from other disabled mean girls fans have talked about that headcanon, but also not surprised most able bodied people are definitely under the impression that people can recover from things like that and go back to having full health. so incredibly grateful for the authors who write her with chronic pain on ao3

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Many years ago I watched a documentary about interabled couples (meaning that one partner is disabled, the other one isn't).

They interviewed multiple couples and asked how they met, what their friends and family think of the relationship, things like that. I don't remember most of it (I can't even tell you if it was an actual movie-length documentary or just a short piece in the local news) but there was one story that always stuck with me:

An autistic man had a crush on a woman he regularly saw at his doctor's office. So he decided to write her a letter. He wrote down a detailed description (if I recall correctly it was multiple pages long) of how their relationship could look like: date ideas that would be safe and enjoyable for him, situations in which he may require her support or help, possible communication struggles they may face and ideas on how to deal with them etc. The next time he saw her at the doctor's office, he handed her the letter. She read it, smiled and said "This says you can't go dancing with me because loud music overwhelms you. But I really love dancing. Could we dance at home if you are in control of the music volume?". He said "Yes" and she said "Okay, then let's do that"... and they have been a happy couple ever since.

I love that story. Honestly, I wish someone would come up to me and hand me a letter like that!

There are so many unspoken rules in the dating world that (neurotypical) people oftentimes just expect you to know and understand - especially the whole "be mysterious, play hard to get, don't scare people off by being too honest" stuff can be really confusing! His letter feels like an antidote to that. He clearly communicated his individual set of "rules" (boundaries, needs, wants). It may be my autism speaking, but this sounds like the ideal way to start a relationship for me: they were both on the same page from the get-go rather than having to guess what the other one wants.

As someone who has been rejected for being too honest and talking about boundaries too early, it feels comforting to me to know that someone did exactly that and was so successful with it.

I mentioned this old story to a friend a few days ago - and they didn't think it was cute. In fact, they were shocked and disgusted by it. That sounds incredibly toxic, they said. You can't just hand your partner a set of rules at the beginning of the relationship and demand they stick to them forever. Those things need to be an ongoing conversation that both partners get to contribute to. Love isn't a business contract that one person writes and the other just signs off on. Treating it like one is a red flag. And quite frankly, they'd feel super creeped out if a quasi-stranger wrote multiple pages about a relationship they didn't even agree to yet!

And you know what? I absolutely believe that my friend is right - and I also believe that I am right. It could be cute and it could be a red flag.

This goes for all kinds of relationships but it's especially important for those of us who have unique or less common "rules"/needs (which could be because you are neurodivergent, disabled or chronically ill but also be lgbt+-related, e.g because you are ace or aro): Doing things differently is not by default toxic - and not by default wholesome, either.

That letter could be a great starting point for healthy ongoing communication in a relationship... and it could also be toxic if it is used as a binding contract that doesn't allow any further conversation.

Apart from a few obvious exceptions, we can't really make a definite list of things that are always good or always toxic when it comes to dating/relationships - we need to think of things in context. And that goes for the "standard route" as well as for more unique approaches.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

(P.S: For the record, I'm sure that the couple in the documentary does have ongoing, healthy communication!)

[krash-and-co]

haven't done this in a while, so here !! l&co as stuff I've heard/said in the past few months, bc I don't remember exact exchanges before then 👍👍

arguably more unhinged for reasons unknown. fate of Gods favorite clown idk

Lucy: I thought Billie Joe Armstrong went to the moon for a long time, honestly.

~

Lucy: [calling Barnes] there's a stranger at our house. she tried really hard to get in, and--

Lockwood, in the distance: we broke all the stranger danger rules.

Lucy: we broke all the stranger danger rules.

~

Holly: Lockwood, you have the coolest style.

Lockwood: thanks!

Lucy: what?!? she just tells me I look gay.

Lucy: and homeless.

~

holly: I want to help disabled kids ride a tricycle. wait, I meant to say horses.

lockwood: you want to help disabled horses ride a tricycle??????

~

Lucy: I don't have mommy issues I just don't like my mom.

~

Lucy: you gave me a framed photo for my birthday

Lucy: and within thirty minutes you stepped on it.

Lockwood: but then I bought you a new frame!!!

Lucy: and then I opened it, and it looked like you stepped on it.

Lockwood: well I'm not buying you another one.

~

skull: ugh, theyre so obsessed with how they look.

lucy, nodding: yeah, they're all "oh I'm so perfect!" preps. they definitely shave their legs.

~

Lockwood: I need to work on my swearing problem, cuz there are adults around and they don't li-- *drops thermos* ow FUCK

~

Lockwood: shut the windows. shut the fucking windows, I feel like we're being watched.

Lucy: hahaha, this is fucking terrifying.

Lockwood: here are the knives.

Holly: do you have any baseball bats? I don't want to stab people.

George: no, but we have crutches. we can hit people with them.

Holly, nodding: that's good.

~

Lockwood: I'm stupid.

Kipps: no you're not- yes you are. I don't know why I said you're not, so I had to correct myself.

~

holly: if we kill someone, we'll get in.... trouble.

~

George: shit!! I mean fuck!!! I mean crap!!!

Lucy, hitting him repeatedly: stop CURSING YOU FUCKING-- DANG IT!!!!!

~

Holly: do you ever get the urge to be randomly violent, like-

[loud clatter as lockwood and kipps beat each other up in the background]

holly: yeah like that.

~

Kipps, on searching for Bobby: I used to just grab any kid I saw about his height with brown hair, but that caused problems.

~

Lucy: what's your biggest fear?

Lockwood: what? spiders.

Lucy: no the other one

Lockwood: change.

Lucy: no the-- the other one.

George: what do you WANT FROM HIM-

~

lucy: you're going to make me have a gambling addiction.

skull, nodding: that's the idea.

~

George: pff my mom says im special.

Lockwood: im also special! they put me in classes about it.

[Lockwood and George burst out laughing while everyone else stares]

~

[Lucy and George are punching each other, screaming, and spewing out profanity in sign language]

George: literally nobody even looked up

Lucy: we're at the point where it's normal

George: yeah, haha!

Lucy: haha!

[a moment of heavy breathing and grinning before they begin fucking attacking each other again]

~

George, to Lucy: ugh im so sore. why do you keep punching me.

[Lucy punches him]

~

ok last one but this was a hell of a fucking convo and it was so funny everyone just jumped in with random twists 😭😭

[kipps crew, l&co, and flo are all sitting in barnes otherwise empty office]

George: kipps sounds terminally online, but I can't figure out yet if it's the normal kind or if he has. like. a kin list.

Lucy: the two extremes. normal or homestuck.

George: I read all of homestuck but it's okay I'm normal now

skull: im-

lucy: skull YOU'RE terminally online, but like the video gamer kind. kipps sounds like he had a my hero academia phase.

Lockwood: I was friends with someone who would roleplay mha all the time.

George: like pretend to have powers or something?

Lockwood: no, like pretend to be the characters. interact as them.

bobby: I don't roleplay, but I like to imagine I'm a different person with powers sometimes :)

ned: ha, furry.

flo: furry? one of my friends knows a furry who got her tail stolen, and she's in the office right now.

Lockwood: like today??

flo: yeah today. she's there right now.

Lockwood: [silence] oh.

flo: yeah they just. yoink.

[silence]

bobby: .....im not a furry but--

Lucy: aaaand gonna stop you right there before you make things worse for yourself

kat: why can't we EVER have normal conversations

[happyhauntt]

gold rush modern au hcs

series masterlist | writing masterlist | askbox

─── summary: the anya / nikolai brainrot is real and i want to start writing for their modern au so until i do, here are some fun headcanons bc i literally cannot stop thinking about them.

─── pairing: nikolai lantsov & anya kamenev (original character.)

anya lets her guard down when she's drunk and early on in their situationship it's the only time nikolai gets to take care of her.

like she calls him to come and get her from a frat party genya took her to and she's so cuddly he's honestly concerned she's been drugged and/or cloned

like 'who are you and what have you done with the girl who bullies me like her life depends on it???'

he's so soft for it when he realises she's just drunk and he tucks her up in her bed with painkillers and a trash can within reach and he sits on the couch until dawn to make sure she's okay and then slips out before she wakes up.

everyone: 'for someone who hates nikolai you sure are obsessed with him'. anya: 'no i'm not???' everyone: 'sure you aren't babe'.

they are the definition of 'fell first, fell harder' !!!

nikolai was out here pining for anya for years, and she just wakes up one day and gets slammed like a fucking freight train with the realisation. oh fuck. i'm in love with nikolai. somehow. how the fuck did that happen. WHY the fuck did that happen. my life is over.

this is right after nikolai is injured at winter fête during an assassination attempt against his father and her whole world just screeches to a halt.

genya and david are just in the corner and david's handing genya a wad of cash and they're laughing while anya has her little meltdown it's adorable.

entering into a friends-with-benefits situation when anya is engaged to vasily (it's an uno-reverse plot of their original story where nikolai is engaged to alina bc PARALLELS and also i can't let them be happy in any universe without first making them suffer) is a Bad Idea but these two are nothing if not self-destructive.

anya may be in love with him but she doesn't have the emotional capacity to Deal with that yet so she's just gonna fuck him.

being friends-with-benefits is all well and good until nikolai gets so fucking jealous of anyone who even looks at anya. she finds this hilarious (until someone's looking at nikolai and then she's throwing hands.)

anya is very insecure about her disability, especially because of her status and expectations, and nikolai makes it his duty to show her how much he adores every inch of her, every day.

anya is engaged to vasily and she and nikolai fully get caught by zoya sneaking out of the engagement party to go makeout in the bathroom. these two are gonna give her premature grey hairs honestly-

anya admits to nikolai that she misses being able to dance. nikolai helps her dance around her apartment by supporting her weight and they're giggling and suddenly they're slow dancing and it's so fuckin adorable.

it's hard to believe anya was so mean to him for literal years.

nsfw beneath the cut!

anya learning she's actually a sub is so fucking funny

like she is so submissive during sex but absolutely not at first. she has a dire need for control in her life and definitely runs their sex life/tops for the first few months.

it's really significant the first time she realises she trusts nikolai and surrenders that control to him, because what she really wants is someone to take care of her, someone to trust completely.

she's so bossy at first and then sex becomes this thing where she just melts and nikolai literally thinks he'll die the first time she allows him that control because it's like seeing anya for the first time, and he's so in love with her already even if it's just sex but in that moment he swears he fell in love with her again. knowing he had her trust like that was,,, everything.

teasing eachother like it's an olympic sport?? more likely than you think.

like she used to hate him (lol not really) and now it's her personal fucking mission to rile him up at any given opportunity. public events?? in the library?? at her own fucking engagement party?? you got it.

nikolai fucking anya in her wedding dress??? yes.

because she is a masochist and doesn't know when to stop hurting herself (or nikolai honestly) she's like 'hey it arrived from it's final fitting, can i show it to you?' and he wants to say no so badly.

she's marrying his asshole brother, there is no world where he wants to see this dress, see her in it, picture her wearing it for someone other than him.

but her eyes are so wide, so vulnerable, and he realises she needs this. needs him to be the first person to see her wearing it. needs him to understand.

so she comes out, and he's honestly,,, floored. and angry. and so, so turned on. his eyes grow dark and hungry and before they know it he's hiking the dress up to her waist and fucking her against the doorframe.

and it's so possessive and full of remember you're my good girl, not his and when you're saying your vows, you gonna think of this? think of me fucking you in this dress? you're so beautiful, my darling, he doesn't deserve you. look at me. you're gonna walk down the aisle and all i'll be able to picture is your face as you come for me.

it's so hot and the room smells like sex and nikolai takes a picture of her in the dress afterwards, draped on the bed, face flushed and eyes shining and happy. and he'll pretend it's their wedding night.

[a-libra-writes]

Hi! I wanted to thank you because your writing is amazing and convinced me to finally read asoiaf.

Could you please write some long-ish headcanons about oberyn and jamie and how they would be with a disabled reader who struggles to walk.

Thank you.

thanks, I hope you're enjoying the books so far!! whose your favorite POV so far? also, added your two requested characters plus some extras.

Oberyn - The Viper gives you the usual charm and affection he'd give to a Paramour. That also means his usual temper is still there ... as in, anyone trying to upset or insult you will have to deal with Oberyn. You now have a Look (tm) you give him whenever you need him to back off. He'd wish that you lived in Sunspear with him so servants might assist you, and he wouldn't be so keen to travel if it's hard on your body.

Considering his brother uses a fanciful (by Westerosi standards, anyway) wheeled chair, Oberyn would float the idea to you. He's also seen and heard of various mobility devices from Essos, if it's something that would interest you. Regardless Oberyn is more than happy to help out when you're feeling tired and wanting some extra support. Doesn't matter if you need to lean on him or be carried, you know he's happy to have the close contact and being able to please you. And no surprise, Oberyn's great at giving foot and leg massages when pain and aches start up. He's gonna joke and try to get you to laugh and get handsy, of course - that's just how he is.

Jaime - Honestly, Jaime sucks when it comes to being considerate about you. It's different if you both grew up together so he was more familiar, but otherwise, he's his usual arrogant self and doesn't understand why you just won't let him carry you. He rather likes doing it - good for his ego, up until he thinks his sister is watching - and it's really not until he's back from the Roadtrip From Hell when there's far more understanding. He feels pretty shit about always treating you as fragile, when clearly you've always had more resilience and maturity than him.

At that point, Jaime finally just waits for you to tell him when you need help. And it's the same for you - he grumbles about it, but it'll take him a while to adjust to losing his dominant hand, so sometimes he needs your assistance, too. You're one of the very few people who sees him without his prosthetic, but you also witness a far more vulnerable side that he's always had to bury.

Samwell - The shy boy is drawn to you almost immediately because you both are in a similar situation on the Wall - you and Sam are often mocked at worst and ignored at best, and end up relegated to the "boring, pointless" work of helping the blind Maester Aemond. The crush is immediate but he's also relieved to just have a friend to talk to and be more of himself around.

Sam knows the cold doesn't help your disability at all, so he'll squirrel away some extra hides and blankets to give to you. He also likes bringing you books he thinks you'd find interesting, and he gets Jon and the other boys to help him jury-rig a mobility device that might assist with you maneuvering around the stairs or the snow. Sam still likes helping you, though; he's easy to lean on and always warm. He wraps his heavy cloak around your shoulders and helps guide you along the rough paths around Castle Black.

Brienne - She's already a considerate and protective woman, and she'd be moreso if her loved one has a disability that requires them to have some assistance. This doesn't mean she sees you as a fragile thing who needs her, but she want to be of assistance. Brienne wants you to tell her what you'd need and like, and it makes her happy to provide that, no matter how big or small the favor is. Maybe it's a childish thought, but she wants to be your knight.

Big and strong as she is, it's easy for Brienne to offer you a hand for assistance or offer to carry you somewhere. She absolutely understands if you'd rather do it yourself or use a mobility aid. Brienne would probably be great at thinking up a way for you to ride a horse safely with her, or quickly figure the best route for you to take through a new place. She observes when you need help and when you don't, and eventually you two have a series of habits you fall into when moving through spaces.

Jorah - This man is already a very doting and affectionate partner, and that increases doubly so if his partner is needing assistance on the regular. At first, he hovered and fussed too much, and you had to be clear with when you needed help and how. He'd figure it out quick and dial it back; you're most familiar with your own body, after all. He doesn't hesitate to stop what he's doing to help you out, and starts to pick up on when you need the assistance without you saying anything. You both eventually develop little rituals and habits around tricky things, like dismounting a horse or scaling stairs or very uneven terrain.

Being a traveler, he's familiar with different mobility aids he's seen around Essos and would mention them to you, if you don't already have some. Jorah is also down with carrying you when you need it, especially through tough terrain. He's very gentle and likes to chat about this or that while you two navigate through the hard spots. Jorah would also find various ointments and lotions that can help with aches and cramps.

Brandon - While his heart is in the right place, sensitivity is not something Brandon is known for. He'd err on the side of "too protective" for a while, before you finally just smack him upside the head and make it clear you got by just fine before he came along. Note if he grew up with you, he'd be much less annoying about it and would be far better about knowing when you do or don't want his help. It's easy to lean on him with all your strength; he's tall, strong and steady, and he's quick to react if you stumble.

Brandon actually likes to carry you around, both to show off for you and getting to hold you close without people having issue with what's "appropriate" (especially if you two aren't married). He's also wary of some of the rough trails around Winterfell, and the pile-up of snow and ice that could prove difficult for you to maneuver around. He might insist on carrying you to a place like the Godswood, which is covered in roots, rocks and uneven soil.

Mance - If you both met on the Wall, he liked to sit beside you and chat while you went about your usual duties. You were often relegated to jobs that made you sit and do repetitive things for hours, so Mance would keep you company and help your stiff body out of the chair and to your quarters once it was done. The other Brother's poor treatment of you may be one of the many reasons he left. He's great at keeping your hand steady in his, not squeezing too tight and matching your footsteps as you both very carefully tread over the snow.

Meeting you as a wildling, he knows some tribes consider those with disabilities as weaker, and some who think it's just another part of life. He respects your independence and only comes to help if you ask it; sometimes you just want him to fetch a mobility aid you crafted. He hovers a bit when the snow and ice is treacherous, but he also understands you grew up in this frigid waste. He often looks to you on where to step and how to cross - but he's perfectly happy to offer his hand when you ask for it.

Davos - Unlike most people, Davos never stared or commented on your disability. He wouldn't dream of doing such a thing, and actually observes you carefully when you're having trouble walking on your own. He only steps in if you ask or gesture to him, and he holds you firmly yet gently while helping you navigate. When you both are closer, you don't even need to ask; he starts to pick up on when you need him and when you don't. He's really just a fantastically considerate person.

He'd also be quite familiar with mobility aids, both those in Westeros and Essos, and he's pretty damn handy if you're having trouble with it. He's done some pretty weird jury-rigging in his day, and that was on huge boats. And while he probably can't carry you very far, he would still do it if you asked and carry you with utmost care. Again, he won't get far, but it's the thought that counts!

Victarion - Well, no surprises here, he's clueless how to proceed. By Ironborn standards, he should just leave you be and make you deal with it, but - well. He doesn't want to do that. So how about just lifting you up and carrying you where you need to be? He'll just do it without warning, and it takes a lot of protesting before Victarion gets the idea to ask first, damn it. This also means he'll be confused if you want to just hold his hand or lean on him - again, carrying is faster in his eyes.

It's not as though disability is something foreign to the Ironborn, they just have different ideas than the "greenlanders". If it was something gained in battle, you ought to be proud, and if you were visibly born with it - well, staying stubborn and resilient can earn admiration. If it's an invisible disability, that's more difficult to understand, and Victarion is not a bright man. Still, he wants you to keep your good opinion of him and he does attempt.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

I'm Sorry, What The WHAT Was That Twist?

Ok, so I know I said I bogged down with the witches last book and that the pacing was a little off. Those were NOT problems with this book! The pacing was good, the twists were interesting, and honestly Aelin has sheer chaos energy married to extreme competence in a combination that I am just enjoying the hell out of. I have...thoughts about how the witches are being handled and some of the underpinning themes in their storylines, but we'll get there. Overall, this was a fun read, so let's talk Queen of Shadows.

This is both your SPOILER WARNING and CONTENT WARNING. I'm going to spoil this book. A lot. I'm also going to discuss topics including forced pregnancy, stillbirth, gender essentialism, and abuse of mothers who have stillbirths.

So...the big twist. The thing with the King of Adarlan and Perrington. Perrington, who has been largely absent for two books now. I'm fine with Erawan being secretly in play with whole time, but for the King of Adarlan to have gone full anti-magic fascist out of an attempt to protect Dorian and Rifthold because he is the only one who knows about Erawan...I was not amused. This is likely a "your mileage may vary" thing, but after four books of the King of Adarlan being the big baddie, I was legitimately irked that he went out like a punk trying to tell Aelin that he was a secret good guy.

Now the "destroy the glass castle" setpeice was overall EXCELLENT and I appreciated the teamwork and sheer badassery. I also appreciated how protective Aelin is of Dorian in the aftermath, because our poor boy spent a rough book being possessed by a Valg prince. She gave him cover, time, and at least a tenuous amount of order in Rifthold. And the heartbreaker is that she has some idea of what he's going through on multiple levels. She knows what it's like to be possessed by a Valg Prince, she knows what it is to have her home and parent killed, and she knows what it is to have responsibility thrust upon her. She's so, so soft with Dorian. Real big sister vibes that I adore. Especially since she has spent most of the book going "murdering him is a kindness."

All of that was wonderful, and I even like the reveal that our heroes are behind the curve with the bad guys in play. But the whole "Duke Perrington is Erawan" felt...like SJM wrote herself into a corner with the King of Adarlan and had to pivot and Perrington made the most sense. And it just didn't land for me. But let's talk about our protagonists for a while.

I don't have much beyond sitting with a delighted smile on my face as Aelin Chaos Energies her way through rescuing Aedion, setting up and murdering Arrobyn, getting herself funding for an army for Terrasen, and rescuing Dorian/bringing down the King of Adarlan. Literally I never do not enjoy Aelin being herself and kicking unreal amounts of ass. I also enjoyed her taking moments out of all of those jobs to absolutely rattle Rowan. Mostly because it's very fun to watch Mr. Cool as a Fae Cucumber absolutely lose his shit mid-mission because Aelin isn't wearing any underwear.

Also really interesting to watch are Aelin's dynamics with Chaol and Aedion. She and Aedion squabble like siblings in the best way possible, and she and Chaol have a lot of bitterness that colors their interactions in ways that neither necessarily MEANS, but are nonetheless there. It really makes their relationship prickly despite their best efforts and adds a level of difficulty to their relationship that feels really natural. I'm...perhaps not thrilled with Chaol getting pseudo paralyzed and having to go off on a healing mission, but I'm willing to give that the benefit of the doubt because I haven't read that book yet and maybe we don't slide hard into bad disability tropes.

Aelin getting some closure on the Arrobyn stuff was also excellent, and it introduced us to Lysandra, who is an absolute TREAT and I adore her. I'm also fairly sure she and Aedion are going to be an item at some point, and I am HELLA here for that. Those two are adorable.

Now, as for our witches. I'm going to start with Dorian and Manon because as an internet denizen, I had seen "I'll bleed whatever color you want me to" in memes before, but I kind of assumed it would be more romantic in context. While yes, it did happen in the context of some tentative, exploratory flirting, I...would not call it romantic. Dorian isn't even sure how to exist as himself at the moment, so he's falling back on the flirty thing he's been doing forever. Now, he and Manon had undeniable sparks. I was here for it. But that was the weirdest, most tense flirting I have ever seen. And I wanted to see more without the Valg Prince getting involved and hissing at the witch like an angry cat. Because Manon unlearning the "no feelings" thing that her matron and the rest of the witches have going on is an interesting arc.

What I was absolutely disappointed in was Asterin's backstory. When the witches went hard in on "Witchlings are the next best thing to sacred and must be protected at all costs," I was here for it. We protect kids and ensure they get the chance to grow up. And then they absolutely went full on psycho about it. The way the Blackbeak Matron treated Asterin after what reads like a no-fault stillbirth is absolutely hideous and it stops being "we protect kids and the people who can have them" and becomes weirdly gender essentialist in that "we must punish the useless non-breeders" way that is so toxic and weirdly prevalent in American conservatism. And y'know...I get that that's an easy way to go "Look, Grandma Blackbeak is evil!" but I am so tired of being able to successfully give birth being the measure of a "successful" woman. And I don't think we necessarily needed Asterin to have a traumatic birth backstory to hammer home to Manon that letting Perrington and whosehisface Elide's uncle forcibly impregnate witches--even Yellowlegs--was deeply deeply uncool. Especially when OF COURSE it was never going to be just as simple as "let us put pebbles under your skin" and Elide herself finds out how bad it actually is.

Manon absolutely needed to be called on the carpet for letting that fly, but it could have been about empathy and autonomy, not about forced pregnancy and gender essentialism. Which like...it's an easy way to go "Grandma Blackbeak and Perrington BAD," but we could have gone another way and still gotten there.

That said, I did really love Manon losing control over her 13 because they were all on the same page about Manon not turning into her grandmother. And I loved that Asterin and Sorrel were negotiating their roles and relationships with Manon to get her to a place where she could hear "Girl, this is wildly uncool and we can't stand behind you on this" without getting too murdery. Those dynamics were a lot of fun to watch.

Manon and Elide was...a weird dynamic though. Elide felt a little underwritten and underused this book, and I hope in the next few we develop that a bit, especially given Aelin's relationship with her mother.

I also want to just...take a sec to talk about Kaltain. Because DAMN she got a raw deal for basically just being a petty bitch and gold digger. The self-immolating to destroy the base was a weird combination of badass and tragic. It was a good way to keep the wyrdkey in play and away from Perawan. However, in a context where the bad guys are treating women as annoyingly autonomous reproductive machines, blowing it up instead of trying to liberate it irked me because we didn't have confirmation that the Yellowlegs witches were beyond saving. Or anyone else in there who might be a victim. There's a "better off dead vibe" with that that I don't love.

I know I seem to be taking a lot of issues with this, but I really did enjoy the book. The character dynamics are largely well done, and the plot stuff was FUN. I'm psyched for the next book, and I can't wait to see what Aelin and Manon get up to next.

[kestreljaylover]

My Top 10 Favorite Warrior Cats.

Cinderpelt was the main source of entertainment and enthusiasm in book 2, and 3 and I love that! She would have made it higher is the authors (don't remember the name, and too lazy to look it up) didn't kill her off so soon. Twilight was so annoying, the entire book was terrible, and I was so sad when she died. And her disability was very terribly written. She broke her leg by a car, and she can't be a warrior anymore. I would discuss about it all day long, but I need to move on to #9.

I love our little fruit loop! I mainly love Tallstar's character because of his Super Edition. Tallstar's Revenge is my favorite Euper Edition of all of warrior cats. The characters in the book got stuff done for once. (I don't remember all of the super editions, it has been a long time since I read them). And his little relationship with Jake is super cute! I met someone at a library and she doesn't like Tallstar x Jake. She was a homophobic, and I hate homophobes. She just make me angry, so I never talked to her again. Anyway, I just thought the bowtie idea was cute, and I decided to put that in.

I really love frostpaw because I can relate to her issues, but I think she was like a reboot of Shadowsight. Which Shadowsight was fine, no problem with him. I think frostpaw is just a cute name in general. I have never drawn her before, so i had to some up with grays on the spot. Anyway the next one!

Now we got some of the best kitties in my eyes! Ravenpaw was my favorite characters in the books before someone else came along that will be in #1. But he was basically the start of the series besides Firestar. Think about it, he tells him what happened with the Tigerstar situation. Firestar would have never known if Ravenpaw didn't spill the truth. And I think him moving to the farm was probably the best thing that has happened to him. Barley is not my favorite, it is just that I wanted to draw them. Next one!

Honestly Lightleap is probably the best character in arc 8 because she is so entertaining and snarky. The best type of character. And she caused a lot of drama which I love. It sucks that she has not been there much in book 3 and 4 of A Starless Clan.

She was supposed to be #4, but I forgot I didn't do 5, so instead of thinking more, I just put her there. Briarlight is the only good cat in her family. Mille is very mental, Blossomfall is very bad, and is very.... dramatic? I don't know how to describe it. Graystripe who i don't know what is going on in his head, and Bumblestripe who obsessed with a girl who doesn't want him. Briarlight is the sweetest cat and her death in the fourth or fifth book in AVOS was very sad. I love her friendship with her best friend, Jayfeather. (Yes, best friend! Jayfeather is gay in my head! I don't care if he loved Half Moon). Briarlight is just great! Love her!

Don't really have a reason to put her up here. Maybe I am just obsessed with the name i gave her. I was gonna switch her and Briarlight out, but oh well. I mainly like first arc Bluestar not her super edition (I mean, who does like her super edition)? I just like calling her Queen of the double wide.

Here's Dovewing! My baby! I am happy to put her here on this list! I really don't understand why some people hate Dovewing. She is a great protagonist, and a good mom as well. And also I feel bad for her because she was forced to be with him (Bumblestripe) for a while because of peer pressure. But I am glad she made to choice to get out of the pain.

AAAHHH! SQUIRRELSTAR!!! SHE'S HERE! I have been waiting for 4 years for this. She is basically just like me. (Except the shortness! I am not short). I do what is right, but I don't need approval from anyone. Honestly her husband is a dickhead, so I am glad he stepped down. I wished he would have died though.

JAYFEATHER! HE IS MY FAVORITE KITTY EVER! Does anyone need to explain why he is some people's favorite? Well I do. I can relate to him because everyone is an idiot! The books make them really dumb sometimes, and points out Jay's blindness. And guess who points this out? Jayfeather! He is my favorite for that reason. He is grumpy, but has a valid reason for it. And I can't get myself started on his boyfriend. He is not that interesting, but seeing fanart of Jayfeather and Kestrelflight just makes a smile on my face. (Dusklight for example, go follow them! One of the remaining kestreljay fans, and their work is flawless)! Honestly the sunglasses idea was random. I love a video that someone posted on Christmas day, https://youtu.be/ijd4YaXCjIQ?si=QY8NmE_tV46Yk_8x anyway, that is it. I am tired. :(

[fideidefenswhore]

So Anne Boleyn didn't want her nephew Henry Carey at court cause he was supposedly disabled? Just like Gregory, Borman turned a good thing Anne did for her sister into a nasty thing? What evidence does she shows for Henry being disabled, or Anne not wanting him around? And for goodness' sake, isn't it strange that some historians and fiction writers seem to hate Anne (like Borman or Weir) but can't help to end up writing about her, because, let's face it, ANNE BOLEYN SELLS! They must feel so bad for always having to return return to this woman they are so eager to portray as the Worst Human Being Ever.

Literally none, and I'm not even joking. There's no citation, no additional information or details, she doesn't even name this nephew so I don't even know if it's Henry Carey to whom she's referring, or one of the Stafford children (whose existence/survival remains disputed), or even the later Elizabethan priest, George Boleyn, dean of Lichfield, who has been erroneously labeled as the son of Viscount Rochford, George Boleyn(illegitimate at times, by marriage other times), Julia Fox has argued for the likelihood he was some distant Boleyn cousin, and I'm inclined to agree. The claim is dropped into a paragraph about the perils of childbirth to contextualize Anne's own potential fears as if from the sky:

Worse still, Anne's closest female relations had suffered an unfortunate history in this respect. Her mother had lost several babies in infancy and her sister, Mary, had borne a son with mental disabilities whom Anne would not suffer to be at court. But in her favour was the fact that her health was generally considered good, and as one observer remarked, she seemed 'likely enough to bear children.' --Elizabeth's Women, Tracy Borman

So...yeah, if who she meant here was Henry Carey, I have no idea what she's talking about, A, and B, this is the sole* "factoid" she chose to mention about their relationship? Not that she had wardship of him, not that she arranged for him to receive his education from the scholar she patronized, Nicholas Bourbon, alongside Henry Norris (the younger), Henry Dudley, and the son of Nicholas Harvey, her 'strong partisan' and the husband of her great friend, Bridget Wingfield...all signs which point to Carey being in Anne's favour. I have no idea if he was ever at court, but if there's no record of him at court while Anne was queen, does it not seem more plausible to attribute this to A) how brief that time was and/or B) that his mother was banished from court due to the marriage she had made without royal permission?

I just don't...know, with Borman, really? It'd be interesting to have the unedited interview footage from BSR because I was surprised how overall sympathetic she was towards the subject, honestly. And I can't speak to the new book, I haven't read it, but the PR push for it has centered around praise of AB as an individual, as to her character.

For Weir, I mean, she received the deal to do that fictionalized serial on the six Queens of Henry VIII, of course AB had to be included. If I'm being perfectly honest, I feel like everything she has done since Lady in the Tower has had this weird self-animus pushing behind it, guilt over having further popularized a figure she hates so implacably. Her original view ("a total bitch...she alienated so many people that that must be true") has been evident in all her subsequent works and interviews; from claiming in one in 2017 that there exists a letter extant in AB's own handwriting where she orders Lady Shelton to beat her stepdaughter (there isn't), to depicting AB in her latest novel as having been so ugly and "painfully thin" naked that it was an instant boner-killer for her poorest little meow-meow.

*I believe other sections of this book are dedicated to the Careys so hopefully she expands later...I can't remember if she does. So far in my current read she has not mentioned the wardship and it was in 1528 and the book is now in 1533, so....

[attorneys-against-court-violence]

('▽') Happy Autism Awareness Month!

I'm honestly floored I managed to keep this shtick going long enough to celebrate the occasion... even if it is in a fairly odd and obscure way. Nevertheless, good tidings to all, be you autistic or just supportive!

Since this page has a gimmick that I am more than happy to fulfil (and we happen to be in an all too befitting time to do so), allow me the chance to gush about something that has kept the Ace Attorney series and Athena Cykes specifically so thoroughly lodged in my brain.

So, the idea that Athena Cykes is an autistic-coded character is nothing new - it's a popular-enough sentiment in the fandom from what I can gather - but it's one that produced enough interest in me to start an entire page dedicated to collecting thoughts and ideas around this character and any adjacent content. Naturally I have to stop and talk about it for a while, and why it's important enough to me to warrant such a reaction.

Let's start off by setting the groundwork, shall we? Why exactly do I think this? "Evidence is everything" after all!

Buckle your knuckles, there's PLENTY of it to go around!

('◡') Disclaimer: I am about to compare traits of a real-world disability to a fictional character that may or may not have been written as such with any intent or comprehension. In fact...

(°o°) I'm not entirely sure if it WAS intentional or just a consequence of Ace Attorney being a larger-than-life series!

(≻⁓≺) I am liable to make mistakes here!

('◡') So give me a nudge if you think something's off or if I missed an important detail!

Exhibit A - Sensory Processing Issues

Athena Cykes' main "gimmick" in Ace Attorney is a heightened sense of hearing. She is highly sensitive to tone of voice and has better than average hearing overall. It also means loud or grating noises are amplified to the point of being painful to hear(as with opening the door to Tenma Taro's Chamber below).

This trait is often a blessing and a curse for her; it enables her to do things that most of the cast can't, but also proves distressing in cases where noise becomes too much to bear. See Sahdmadhi turning her hearing against her in Turnabout Storyteller.

(⳻_⳺) Dick move by the way!

Abnormal sensory processing - especially hyper-sensitivity - is a symptom of autism likely caused by altered/excessive connections in the brain, effectively over-tuning your ability to process stimuli. A good example of this in reality is being sensitive to the texture of clothes or food, or being more strongly affected by loud noises (similar to Athena here). As with Athena, it can be advantageous, but is more often than not an impairment to our ability to function in everyday life.

Which handily leads us to why this is problem for both the character and anyone with sensory processing issues...

Exhibit B - Overstimulation

Athena was often overwhelmed by her hearing as a child (and even occasionally as an adult, though with a less severe reaction), usually resulting in her breaking down and crying from the abundance of auditory stimulation. She couldn't be in crowds or even attend school for too long without it affecting her. That point especially I'm sure is relatable to most of us with ASD!

She doesn't have the same loud meltdowns in adulthood, and the trauma of UR-1 makes her breakdowns just as understandable without being autistic (though any emotional processing issues wouldn't help!). Regardless, it was a significant enough problem in her childhood to stifle her social development and attendance in education, resulting in a fairly sheltered lifestyle in Metis Cykes' care.

Speaking of Metis, two of her inventions were made with the intent of helping Athena cope with her atypical traits. The first being a set of noise-cancelling headphones that helped dampen the emotional noise her abnormal hearing picked up involuntarily. Granted, it wasn't perfect, but an honest effort was made to help! The other we'll get to in:

Exhibit C - Social Impairment (Withdrawn Behaviour, Emotional Processing etc)

Athena was incredibly quiet and withdrawn as a child, and wasn't good at talking to others when she did speak. She isn't incapable of affection, but it's largely non-verbal. Her mother created and gave her Widget as a way of broadcasting her thoughts & simplifying "emotional noise" to better explain herself to others. As it reflects her thoughts, with most things Widget says being somewhat childish (calling Gaspen Payne an "arrogant jerk" and being generally immature), it can be assumed Athena's thoughts are roughly as mature. Not that her actions are any less so - she often behaves that way as well! We can give her some leverage, being 18-19 in the games she's appeared in, but autistic people tend to have a reputation for acting childish or having childish interests.

This also means we tend to be infantilised by others.

Athena's not much different: see the cop that badgered her over looking like a highschooler and not letting that initial impression go, despite being shown her badge.

Her being 18 and reactionary responses to this obviously weren't helping her image, though it's fair to say we're supposed to be on her side on this.

(The subsequent tossing of said cop I've already discussed, albeit in an older post, and it's not terribly relevant to this one. Onwards and upwards then!)

When she became more extroverted, she shows herself as incredibly transparent in terms of her emotions, often having trouble masking her feelings. Body language is large and loud (this IS Ace Attorney though, everyone's a little obnoxious!) with the closest match in intensity being Bobby Fulbright. Who is perhaps the loudest and most emotional character in the series.

ASD is defined as a developmental and social impairment. People with it are often known for being quiet or otherwise not particularly sociable. It also means we have problems communicating ourselves to others - either due to missing social cues, not picking up on things that aren't explicitly stated, or simply not being able to word ideas in a way that makes sense to others. This also creates problems with emotional processing. It isn't the same for everyone, but in my experience it can be summed up as "your emotions are too big for your body". ie stifled emotional development results in less subtle and more physical displays of one's feelings.

While she has overcome a lot of her shyness and anxiety as an adult, there are plenty of times where she stammers and struggles to get her words out or needs more time to think something over. She often struggles explaining her reasoning for her objections in court even if she's on the right track, that age-old nightmare of having to verbalise your thought-process is a consistent challenge.

Exhibit D - Hyper-fixation/Special Interest

Athena is strongly fixated on analytical psychology, bringing it up at frequency when the opportunity arises. The topic is constantly on her mind and one she's beyond capable of discussing in great detail with little prompting required. It forms the way she views others and the world around her, is her main tool in court, and a framework she often tries to put most things she encounters into.

People with autism get deeply invested in a topic or topics that interest them. More often than not, these topics are something that we can (and will!) gush about for hours on end if allowed to. Unfortunately - due to the next point I'm about to go over - we also tend to get stuck on the subject for long periods of time. Talking about, researching or just thinking about fixations is an enjoyable experience for those on the spectrum. Look at any time Athena Cykes gets to talk psychology and you tell me she isn't enthused every time!

('▽') It's kind of infectious!

But potentially exhausting for anyone who doesn't share the same interests or have enough patience for it. This is why we worry about being annoying about a fixation at times!

Exhibit E - Routine & Repetitive Behaviours

My main evidence here is the Swashbucklers Spectacular - watching it on repeat to the exhaustion of Apollo and staying up late to do so again later that same day. It's an activity she describes as "therapeutic" (which leads to her explaining that animal therapy is a proven type of therapy. When Athena can, Athena will!).

Repetitive or familiar routines/actions are a fairly well-known trait of those with ASD. While it can make them appear monotonous, there's a good chance it's tied to stimulation; since the brain is "over-tuned" to process sensory information, repetitious actions provide controlled & familiar stimuli that isn't likely to bother you. It also means we tend fixate on things that make us happy as mentioned before.

('◡') If anyone relates to listening to just 1 song ad-nauseum, you get what I mean!

(Slight stretch, but her enthusiasm for physical exercise could also fall under this category, as it often involves repetitive motions - think stimming but more rigorous! Running around the courthouse may also be a way of venting excitement/anxiety. Take this with a grain though!)

Exhibit F - Empathy

Had trouble empathising/relating to her mother (though she never made it easy either). Often treated machines like people and thought people could be fixed like machines. A sheltered life on top of a social development impairment handily explains this.

Later, once she became more extroverted, her empathy turns out to have been over-tuned rather than muted. Likely a good reason why she got overstimulated so often, being flooded with people's emotions that, as a child, she did not fully understand.

That said... she does still have trouble telling what's human or not from time-to-time, albeit much less so (despite falling from a box of props, she still mistakes this prop for a human child).

In short, she struggles to relate to other people and humanises non-human objects/machines to an unusual degree. The latter could also be tied to high-empathy; that is, a person with ASD would experience empathy so strongly that it applies to non-human things or animals.

(Admittedly, some of that comes from personal experience; I prefer escorting insects out to killing purely because I don't enjoy the prospect of potentially inflicting great pain trying to kill them quickly and failing. Over-tuned empathetic responses will do that.)

Exhibit G - Masking

An excellent point was raised by @wyrmswears in response to this post. So, in-brief! Athena's perky personality could be a result of masking. It's a term generally used for actions or behaviours taken to "mask" one's personality traits - in this case, to hide behaviours that arise from autism. This is typically done in response to social pressures, as a coping mechanism, or in response to trauma.

Athena feels a great deal of pressure to appear a certain way. We've already covered her conversation with the cop in The Monstrous Turnabout and subsequent events demonstrate that she's very concerned with how she's perceived (heh) by others.

Particularly, she's worried about looking capable and in a way that fits her job as an attorney. This aspect of her character is made apparent and reinforced multiple times early in the game. It also serves to deflect from those anxious thoughts and emotions (though not too well, given her earnestness).

It's worth noting that a focal point of Athena's trauma is not being listened to when she testified to Simon's innocence. As stated earlier, masking isn't just used to hide neurodivergent traits - it can be done for any reason to better fit societal expectations of ones' self. This in mind, I'm happy to concede this as a response to trauma rather than any explicit sign of ASD, even if it fits the interpretation.

Thank you again for calling this to my attention, @wyrmswears!

Exhibit H - Honest to a Fault

We've covered that Athena's emotions are too large for her to hide (on top of Widget's colourful commentary), but characters have noted that she's... very earnest about her thoughts.

On top of the countless examples of Athena speaking her mind, when it isn't exactly the most appropriate time or place, we can safely say she's very likely to just say things as they are.

People with autism tend to have a reputation for being very blunt or literal when speaking with them. Often, this leads to us saying things that are true, but not taken too well by others (though in this case, Dr Crab is a fairly jaded character as it is). Being explicit with your thoughts is something of a mixed bag; bungling a conversation by being too honest isn't a fantastic experience, but it does mean the people who know you know what's on your mind in uncertain terms. With the right people, it can help heaps (and in Athena's case, it can be endearing to the point of going red in the face!).

Being honest to a fault isn't a unique trait by any stretch, though an impairment such as ASD can lead to people not picking up enough social experience to know when to reel it back and approach conversations more tactfully. As with Exhibit G, this is a point that stands with or without this interpretation, though worth bringing up regardless.

Is It Good Representation?

Whew, there's a tricky question if there ever was one. Just keep in mind going forward that what I'm about to say are my own thoughts - you're welcome to disagree or provide evidence of the contrary. It wouldn't be fair if it was just me monologuing at you all day, so let your heart be heard!

Now then, whether I think this is good or not...

Athena is a lot of things in Dual Destinies. She's enthusiastic, but impulsive. She's talented, but fumbles often. She's loud and proud, but is often shut down by her impairment or trauma.

She's put in 7 years of hard work to overcome her shortcomings, but continues to by stifled by them in little (and not so little) ways. More often than not, Apollo and later Phoenix need to be there to support her and spear-head a majority of trials in the game.

I've done my fair share of grumbling about Athena's lack of exposure in what is essentially her story. Case 5-1 helped set the groundwork for her, but didn't set high-hopes for how the character would be utilised and explored going forward. She tends to come across more as the new assistant character rather than a new protagonist or defence-lawyer, and that largely comes down to the fact that she needs so much support to keep afloat. This doesn't change too much in Spirit of Justice, where she's allowed her own solo trial but still had Blackquill step into the assistant role for her (I don't plan to talk much about SoJ here... it doesn't do a lot with her that wasn't covered in DD, save for the confidence boost).

Oddly enough, I'm fine with all that for the most part.

Really, I am!

Let's be fair, she had a lot of developmental issues as a child and had gone through the horror-show that is UR-1 at just 11 years-old. She was emotionally unstable from the start and losing her mother, brother-figure and home in essentially the same day left a gaping wound on an already vulnerable child.

And in 7 years, right at the threshold for adulthood, she has come a LONG way from where she was. Her outgoing personality and empathetic nature have flourished from her continued attempts to break out of her shell. She's picked up on 4 European languages during her time on the continent. Her rigorous study in analytical psychology and law had landed her a career as an attorney at 18! And it all happened because she makes an active effort to overcome her barriers: be it her communication problems or her fear of courtrooms.

But she isn't completely free of it all. She will always be a little confused or will fumble talking to people, and until the end of Dual Destinies, UR-1 continues to have a profound effect on her ability to perform as an attorney.

Let me make this point as clear as I can. Athena Cykes doesn't have constant support from others because she's untalented or stupid. She has support because she needs it.

And that's fine.

That's Cool, but Why Does This Matter?

The reason all this matters to me is that, as an autistic person myself, it's important to recognise that you're going to need help. It's not something you just "grow out of" or "get better from" - it's just part of who you are, both the ups and the downs. Accepting it as a facet of yourself, rather than some demon to be conquered, is important if you want to live comfortably with it.

It's going to sound bloody baffling of me to say, but this character and how they could exist as a representation of an autistic person has helped a little with that. Having a character that is talented and intelligent who is enabled to be so under their own power and with the help of others around them... well, it got to me, as I muddled through what has been a troubling few years in adulthood.

Not one to air my dirty laundry out on the world though, so I'll spare you the details!

For now, I'll leave you with my ultimate summation.

('▽') I just think she's neat. <3

[yoonyia]

I'm fighting with spirits trying not to murder this book for what they're doing with jane

THIS IS THE ONLY PART OF THE BOOK THAT REALLY MAKES ME ACTIVELY HATE THE BOOK

please

don't do that

I dont mind the idea of giving Jane a human body

hell at this point I think it's necessary and a essential part of the plot

BUT DONT FRAME IT AS WHAT SHE ALWAYS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

DONT CONPARE HER TO PINOCCHIO

PINOCCHIO WAS MADE IN THE WISH THAT HE WOULD BE A HUMAN CHILD AND WAS GIVEN THE ABILITY TO FUFILL THAT PURPOSE

JANE WAS MADE AS A BRIDGE BETWEEN THE HIVE QUEEN AND ENDER AND DEVELOPED INTO AN ANSIBLE WIDE IDENTITY

SHE WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE A HUMAN

SHE WASENT INITIALLY CREATED WITH THE PURPOSE OF BEING A HUMAN

SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BRIDGE SURE BUT TO ASK HER TO GET INTO A HUMAN BODY IS SAYING THAT THE ALIEN PART OF HER IS NONEXISTENT

THAT SHE SHOULD REJECT IT BECAUSE ITS "NOT WHO SHE REALLY IS"

THAT A PART OF WHAT MAKES HER HER ISNT THE FACT THAT SHE IS NOT A HUMAN

THEYRE TREATING THIS SACREFICE AND LAST RESORT LIFE SUPPORT AS ITS THE CORRECT THING THAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED

SHE WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO MIMIC AND YEARN FOR THE PERFECT REPLICANT OF HUMANITY

WHAT SHES DOING RIGHT NOW SHOULD BE TREATED AS WHAT WE FEEL WHEN WE WANT TO LEAVE OUR MORTAL FLESH SUITS AND BE UPLOADED INTO THE INTERNET SO WE LIVE FORVER

THIS IS LITTERALLY JUST THAT

BUT DO WE LOOK AT THE DIGITAL COPIES AND THINK "this is how we should have been always"

DO YOU HEAR HOW INSANE THAT SOUNDS????

"we should have been 1s and 0s this entire time and I don't know why we waited until my body was litterally unusable and my human life was dead to find a way to sustain it, this was how I should have been since birth!"

LIKE

wait

fuck

no, I can see people saying that

OK LIKE ITS SAYING TO AN AMPUTEE THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN WITHOUT THEIR LEG

THAT SOMEHOW HAVING A LEG MADE THEM LESS OF A PERSON

AND THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE CHOPPED IT OFF SOONER

EVEN WHEN IT WAS HEALTHY AND PERFECTLY USABLE

THAT WITH A LEG THEY WERE UNFINISHED

I MEAN I DONT PERSONALLY HAVE A MISSING LEG BUT I FEEL LIKE ITS PRETTY SAFE TO SAY THAT A MAJORITY OF AMPUTEES WOULD PREFER TO HAVE THEIR LIMB AGAIN IF IT DIDNT CAUSE THEM PAIN OR RISK THEIR LIVES

AND EVEN IF THEY THINK THAT THE AMPUTATION IMPROVED THEIR LIVES IN WAYS UNRELATED TO PAIN I DONT THINK THEY WOULD EVER SAY THAT HAVING A FULL INTACT LIMB MADE THEM ANY LESS MEANINGFUL???

LIKE JANE IS STILL AS MEANINGFUL AND IMPORTANT AS WHEN SHE WAS A PHILTONIC ENTITY, BUT THAT DOSENT MEAN THAT SHE WAS LESS WHOLE BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE????

IS THAT NOT A THING PEOPLE UNDERSTAND?

I'm sorry this got convoluted I'm just really upset

the parallels between miro getting his magical recovery from his disability and then having to help someone who also basically got all her limbs, eyes and senses chopped off would have been such a nice thing to watch? I MEAN LIKE HONESTLY REJOICE THAT SHE DIDNT DIE

BUT TREAT IT WITH THE SAME MOURNING SOMEONE FEELS WHEN THEY ARE PARALYZED?

LIKE IM NOT MAD OTHER PEOPLE ARE HAPPIER ABOUT JANE BEING HUMAN, THAT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE TO THEM JANE WAS JUST A HUMAN ON SCREEN IN SOME AMOUNT OF DISTANCE AWAY

but to jane she just lost everything???????

SHE DIED

SHE DIED AND GOT A LITTLE BIT OF HER AUTONOMY BACK

ITS EXHILARATING AND NEW AND BRIGHT BUT THAT DOSENT MEAN SHE DIDNT LOSE SOMETHING???

ok maybe comparing it to a disability is too much of a human perspective on it (even tho the book insists she is human FOR FUCKS SAKES I CANT BE HAPPY)

let's say to her the human body is better because it is so new and so wonderful and so much simpler and easier and lighter and mobile and has all of these new things she can do like sweat and laugh and cry and shit and move

because for a disability you're losing several functions and gaining proportionally little and that's not exactly what's happening to Jane (I personally think a human body does less things compared to all digital material and activity between half a trillion people at any given time BUT THATS PROBABLY BECAUSE IVE BEEN LIVING IN A HUMAN BODY SO LONG I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO BE ALIVE, I DONT KNOW)

then treat it like it's that

make her struggle with EVERYTHING

give us more internal dialog of EVERYTHING being new

make it more full of awe and a new discovery and not a long lost longing finally fulfilled

DONT TREAT IT LIKE SHES FINALLY COMPLETE NOW

PLEASE

SHE IS NOT A HUMAN

NOT A HOMO SAPIEN I TELL YOU

I think I might have said something bad in this ramble and if so please correct me I'm not very versed in the nuances of disability and being human and aliens.

I just wanted to express my anger at the writing

I'm sorry for screaming