#Like wow it is literally like umm fucked up and

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

bc it's like. and i was GOING to talk to you about the religion aspect of it because it is also partly a letter to God where i am like bro fuck me why is everything so hard; but also like. u know that already i could talk myself into the ground about that already so like yeah. i never posted this one bc it explicitly mentioned my age in a way that i Do Not have the heard to change and also i am emotionally fragile about it and it was probably one of the last songs i wrote before the one i made for tater last year... and it's SO SAD man. it started out as a poem about me hating summer now and the fact that i hated hating summer now because it used to be my favorite season, but then every single thing that made me love the season got taken away from me--the place i was in when i got to experience it, the people i got to be with, the friends and the family and the spending time with all of those people who were so important to me--and then it kind of slowly turned into me going why is everything that i am fucked up how do you even wait for me when i'm like this why must time pass and why does the hurt only get worse. and there's like no real point to me talking about this song i do not think i am going anywhere with this but it is SO IMPRESSIVE how badly i did not want to listen to it until like. over a year later. and now every time i listen to it it's wild because i always get to have the fun realization that this fits literally any breakdown i could have that would have me listening to sad music like goddamn it is it a versatile little fucker of a song.

but also it is interesting because there are parts in there that i've grown a little about and i can look back and be glad that i have moved on from it. it's like a little marker fr like one day when i'm like fifty i can look back on this song and be like haha fuck you life i won. so i'm kind of just. drifting along waiting for that i think

FJFJRJR ALL OF THIS IS SO REAL DUDE IM

bc literally same omfg DUUDE. *shakes you and then hugs you and then shakes you again*

[55szn]

lost and found - ln4

lando norris x fem!reader smau

summary lando thought he had lost his summer love warnings none i think fc barbara kristoffersen taglist @jaydaaasworld notes requested!🌷

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by friend1, friend2 and 6.189 others

yourusername mamma mia l’italia 🍝🤌🏻

view all 21 comments

friend1 girl you spent THREE days there what are mamma mia-ing for

yourusername the three best days of my life leave me alone i miss it so much

friend2 you’re in PARIS rn what do you have to be sad about 😭

friend2 btw who tf is that

yourusername that’s a secret i’ll never tell xoxo gossip girl

friend1 i hate you☺️

friend3 gorgeous 😍 when can i see uuuuu

yourusername I’LL BE IN SYDNEY IN THREE WEEKS BABE TEXT ME!!!!

landonorris

liked by alex_albon, pierregasly and 1.754.129 others

landonorris italy was really really fun 🍕

view all 3.021 comments

user summer lando😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

user loosing my fucking mind over the 1st pic (no i’m not okay)

user LIKEEE HE LOOKS SO GOOD😫😫

user YO WHO THE FUUUCK IS THAT

user FR WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABT THIS

user patiently waiting for the f1 gossip pages to find out who that is ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

user girl we are TRYING there’s literally nothing

user trying to be chill about the fact that lando may be taken

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

lando.jpg

liked by carlossainz55, martingarrix and 489.210 more

lando.jpg tbt italy 🥹

view all 1.201 comments

user LANDO’S ITALY POST GIRL IS BACK EVERYONE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!!!!!

user but we still don’t have a tag or see her face i hate his ass😭

user hard launch tonite queen?

user we ain’t even getting a soft launch babe

user PLEAAASEEE JUST MAKE IT PUBLIC I WANT HER POSTING BOYFRIEND LANDO CONTENT

user ONG

user i get the vibe this was just a summer fling so i don’t think we are ever getting that 😞

user summer fling and he’s still posting her lmao lando get tf up

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

alexandrasaintmleux

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 38.209 others

alexandrasaintmleux girls night 🦋

tagged yourusername, francisca.cgomes

view all 2.918 comments

francisca.cgomes <3

user so cute alex!

user umm guys check @/yourusername profile

user HOLD AWWNNNNNN

user is that…😦

user WE GOT ITALY SUMMER GIRL’S INSTAGRAM !!!!!!!!

user oh she’s gorgeous

yourusername lovely meeting you girls! 🫶🏻

alexandrasaintmleux looking forward to seeing you again!🩷

TWITTER

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 3.129.011 others

landonorris lost her once found her twice (thank you alex)

tagged yourusername

view all 5.190 comments

charles_leclerc more like thanks ME 😒

carlossainz55 more like thanks me for listening to his mental breakdowns 🙄

landonorris wow no need to expose like that

yourusername damn you were having mental breakdowns over me before we even started dating 🤣🤣

landonorris thanks a lot carlos, thanks a LOT

alexandrasaintmleux you’re welcome just treat her right 🫶🏻

landonorris 🫡🫡

yourusername never would’ve thought that i’d see my italian summer boy again 😢

landonorris makin me tear up babe😢

user i’m crying i never thought i would live to see this day…

user this story is soooo cute i’m obsessed

user boyfriend lando material incoming 🙏🏻

user THOSE PICS ARE SOO CUTE SLEEPING ON THE HIGHWAY TONIGHT

[astonmartinii]

peas in a pod | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x fem!russell!reader

y/n and george russell may be twins, but they’re hardly two peas in a pod and oscar is just there for the ride

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by georgerussell63, oscarpiastri and 602,344 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: are you alex’s appendix cause you make me wanna bust 😩

view all comments

user1: excuse me 😀

user2: sometimes i’m like yeah george and y/n are defo twins and then she says shit like this and i’m like they can’t be related

alexalbon: erm what is is ?

yourusername: gosh so other people can use your appendicitis for a seat but i can’t use it to appreciate my boyf - PC gone crazy

alexalbon: the only censorship you’ll need is when my foot is up your ass

yourusername: i’d love to see you try i’ll put you back in the hospital

alexalbon: you say that but when i woke up in hospital you were crying your eyes out begging me to never do that again 🤨

yourusername: i was CHANNELLING GEORGE OBVIOUSLY

oscarpiastri: she cried about it for a good week after alex dw she loves you really

yourusername: TURNCOAT say goodbye to your bedtime privileges

georgerussell63: okay we’ll stop right there, y/n is sorry for joking about your appendicitis alex, and y/n we will not be discussing extracurricular activities with oscar. thank you.

user3: what about the people who want to hear about the extracurriculars? and maybe want to … see them?

yourusername: @oscarpiastri how do you think mclaren would feel about an onlyfans?

oscarpiastri: i think it’ll be a hard no

yourusername: ugh boring

user4: y/n talking about an onlyfans whereas i don’t believe george has even seen a naked woman

oscarpiastri: i love you and your dumb fucking pick up lines

yourusername: what do you mean i’m literally the reincarnation of william shakespeare?

georgerussell63: more like e l james

yourusername: i knew it was you who stole my copy of 50 shades GIVE IT BACK

yourusername: anyhow … i love you too babe x

user5: every comment section we learn new y/n russell lore and it shocks me everytime

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 734,513 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: in this house i guess we celebrate hit tweets? happy one year anniversary to the alpine breakup

view all comments

user6: CAKE SCARED ME FOR A SEC I WON'T LIE

yourusername: i think the technical term is “stunting on these hoes”

oscarpiastri: for pr reasons i will not be agreeing

yourusername: @ otmar HE BROKE I’M UP

oscarpiastri: you’re going to get me into even more trouble than that tweet did

yourusername: blame me and tell them to meet me in the car park, no weapons just fists

oscarpiastri: maybe let’s not

yourusername: you don’t wanna be my sexy ring girl? :(

georgerussell63: one day of not threatening people is all i ask for

yourusername: you weren’t saying that when i beat that year 13 guy’s ass in year ten for picking on you 🤨

georgerussell63: well yes but needs must

oscarpiastri: sorry george i’m siding with y/n she’s not afraid to tell the waiter they got my order wrong

landonorris: and she can square up to the people who won’t leave us alone in clubs

georgerussell63: okay i get it damn

yourusername: SMASH

alexalbon: you can’t let anything be normal can you?

yourusername: since you wanna be in my business… lily is a smash too

alexalbon: excuse me?

yourusername: let it be known if i weren’t already with the love of my life, id steal your girl

lilymunhe: oh wow … umm ☺️😳

alexalbon: OSCAR DO SOMETHING

oscarpiastri: idk bro im focusing on being called the love of y/n’s life

user7: silly season was so boring this year thank the lord we have y/n to cause chaos

georgerussell63: do not encourage her

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 823,410 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: you think i look bad, you should see the other girl. don’t touch men without their consent - and definitely don’t touch my man or you will be dealt with. trust.

view all comments

user8: someone leaked the video and omg that girl has hands

user9: she did NAWT hold back omg

oscarpiastri: i love you, thank you for defending my honour

yourusername: i love you too, i’d protect you with my life but don’t get it twisted, i’d throw hands for anyone

oscarpiastri: no but for real i’m very thankful for you standing up for me

user10: why is everyone praising this? all this shows me is that piastri is a pussy that needs his gross girlfriend to stand up for him?

yourusername: i’m going to stop you right there. that girl thought she could touch a man without his consent, and it’s completely out of order. so she was handed the consequences. oscar couldn’t do anything so it fell into my hands. you are the problem, do not talk down to him or other victims in those situations.

georgerussell63: as much as i joke, im glad you and oscar have each other.

yourusername: thank you georgie

oscarpiastri: thanks george, but your sister is the real knight in shining armour here

yourusername: i'll always save you princess 👸

alexalbon: everyone is being very sentimental but YO I KNEW YOU SAID YOU HAD HANDS BUT DAMN

user11: alex spill how brutal was it?

alexalbon: i had a front seat and it was like prime anthony joshua she was NOT playing

yourusername: oh wow that’s a big statement

alexalbon: i don’t wanna sound unprofessional but it was honestly crazy and i am so impressed y/n should really consider combat sports

yourusername: in my defence she just fully turned in on my fist

georgerussell63: okay normal service resumed she's making fun of me again :(

user12: why are we celebrating violence?

user13: people have no respect for the drivers these days, just because you’re in the same club as them does not mean that you’re entitled to harass them ??? you fuck around you’re going to find out… esp when y/n is around LOL

oscarpiastri

liked by georgerussell63, yourusername and 1,023,444 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: so a lot has happened. i don't want to give the girl any more attention. i love my girlfriend and i love how much she loves me. cry more.

view all comments

user14: OOP HE GAGGED THE HOES

georgerussell63: "cry more" y/n has clearly been rubbing off on you

yourusername: i can assure you i've done much more than just rub off on him

georgerussell63: NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE MISSY

oscarpiastri: to be fair you walked right into that one george

georgerussell63: introducing you two really is the stupidest thing i've ever done

oscarpiastri: first of all, arthur introduced us months before you "introduced us", second of all, this is a lot coming from the guy who cried to me about how i'm so great for your sister and can't wait to have me as a brother-in-law

yourusername: AWWW GEORGIE YOU SOFTIE

georgerussell63: yes i am soft. i love love. sue me gosh.

user15: they are so aesthetically pleasing to my eyes

landonorris: so does like y/n wanna give self defence classes?

yourusername: for a price, soz nothing comes for free in this economy

danielricciardo: please can you do classes? i wanna harness your rabid chihuahua energy

yourusername: i am NOT. a chihuahua take that back daniel

oscarpiastri: she's more like a kangaroo, cute but will steal your dog and beat your ass

yourusername: true, i just wanna put you in my pouch

yourusername: that sounds weird, but i just wanna hold you and never let go

danielricciardo: okay i was just messing around no need to be disgustingly cute

logansargeant: i'm glad you're both okay, but that room service debrief went so hard

oscarpiastri: honestly if i weren't holding an ice pack to my girlfriend's face it would've been top two

yourusername: eh i think it's still top two, nothing is unseating when we were next door to lando shagging and we made it a drinking game 😭

landonorris: WHAT ????

oscarpiastri: no comment

logansargeant: no comment

yourusername: it was drink every time you moaned impressively loud 👍

landonorris: no comment

alexalbon

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 822,304 others

tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri, lilymunhe

alexalbon: idc you can never get me to hate her ass if you poke the bear expect to get bitten

view all comments

user16: sorry to the galex truthers but y/n and alex are the superior friendship

yourusername: i knew you loved me + and i knew you loved oscar SEND ME THE LAST PIC NEW LOCKSCREEN INCOMING

alexalbon: i've been the personal photographer for both russells for years and i'm only just being appreciated

yourusername: HOLD ON i take just as many of you and lily

alexalbon: well that's easier because we're much easier to photograph

oscarpiastri: WOAH hold your horses pal, call me ugly all you want but one shall not dishonour y/n

alexalbon: okay someone spent the break at the russell house

yourusername: HE'S NOT UGLY YOU POOL NOODLE TAKE IT BACK

alexalbon: damn it's a tough crowd. and on a post literally appreciating you

yourusername: bare minimum

user17: okay the kardashians are over - netflix can we please get a drive to survive spin off about y/n, george, oscar and alex ????

landonorris: lando norris erasure

charles_leclerc: charles leclerc erasure

oscarpiastri: move over twitch quartet, there's a new sheriff in town

landonorris: okay i'm banning y/n from mclaren you've spent too much time with her and now a rookie is bullying me :(

yourusername: he ate you up... i'm so proud

landonorris: is this the environment the russells promote? @georgerussell63

georgerussell63: you're on your own on this one lando i gave up years ago

yourusername: @oscarpiastri i think that's called maximising our joint slay

oscarpiastri: they wish they were us for real

user18: i love watching a black cat gf slowly corrupt her golden retriever bf

yourusername: oscar is like an evil little kitten really

oscarpiastri: and you love it

note: quick one cause i'm in my feelings. enjoy this random oscar cuteness he is an aussie queen (also a friend of mine literally went to the same school as him it's so weird)

[taehyunismm]

ATEEZ'S FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT YOU ! (HYUNG LINE)

A/N: lol this is my first work after being on a longggggggg writing hiatus! (like two years) I honestly hope this doesn't flop but at the same time..you never know what’ll happen LMFAO just sit back and enjoy

cw: kys/kms jokes, cursing, some nsfw content (only for yunho and yeosang)

✰ HONGJOONG !

oh he loves how soft your hands are all the time

he will literally take your hands and rub your hands all over his face forcefully because he loves how they smell and how smooth they are.

"what are you doing..?" you say as he grabs your phone out your hand and starts rubbing his head all over your hands.

"im so sorry i just love the scent of your hands." he says giving the palm of your hands small lazy kisses.

"umm..okay you do your thing joongie!" you say as you play with his hair.

oh and do not get me started on his love for your hair.

he literally loves how soft your hair feels and how good it smells

he'll ask to put your hair in braids as an excuse to get close to your hair and smell it.

"okay what is up with you?" you can feel a big head coming in behind you.

"oh..im sorry my girlfriends hair just smells amazing!" he says twirling the ends of your hair.

"youre so weird but i love you."

oh he is OBSESSED with the way your body curves.

whenever you wear any kind of dress that fits your curves perfectly and really makes them noticeable he will go fucking INSANE.

he'll start stuttering throughout his sentences while your just staring at him confused on why hes so nervous with you in that outfit.

"i-i wow..?" hongjoong wipes his drool from his bottom lip turning back to reality.

"gosh do i look bad or something? pfft..im going to change youre making me annoyed." you say running your fingers through your hair and walking back to your closet.

"NO! i mean..no. you look..great! im just getting..flustered." he can feel his cheeks heating up after every word that comes out his mouth."

girl what the fuck

okay maybe hes right..you do look great and out of this world.

"okay..? anyways..lets just go, we're taking my car." you say throwing the keys to hongjoong as he catches them and follows behind you.

✰ SEONGHWA !

oh this man loves your eyes

he always finds some excuse to justify why hes staring at you

always asking to put your contacts in so he can admire how pretty your eyes are.

"pleaseee can i put them in?" he begs literally getting on his knees infront of the bathroom.

"i said no. im putting on my glasses today." you say while cleaning your lenses.

"but babyyy!" he says giving you a tight back hug and resting his chin on your shoulder while pouting.

"you are the biggest crybaby ive ever met."

he loves how competitive you are when it comes to games because its funny to watch when you rage quit

when you two were playing roblox obbys together you got mad that you accidently broke your laptop screen because you slammed it too hard.

"im going to literally fucking kill myself if you get to the end before me seonghwa." you say spamming your space button as many times as you can to avoid the red laser. you take a look at seonghwas screen since he was awfully quiet and you saw that he was already flying over the whole map with his stupid fucking rainbow trail.

"YOU FUCKER!" you say exiting out the game and slamming your screen down..and that does not end up well. you open your screen back up and your whole screen is shattered.

you start to tear up as you can hear seonghwas devilish laugh in the background.

"im calling apple care im not doing this right now.." you say taking out your phone and dialing their number for apple care waiting for them to pick up.

✰ YUNHO !

he is horribly obsessed with your face

like literally everything about your face weirdly turns him on

"please dont look at me like that i think im about to bust a nut in my pants." he says putting a pillow over on his lap.

"eww youre gross!" you say jokingly pushing him.

he wraps you in his arms and brings you on top of him cuddling you to death.

"could i get a kiss my pretty girl?" he says pouting and looking into your eyes with puppy eyes. you roll your eyes and scoff at the sudden question.

"fine." you say connecting your lips to yunhos while running your fingers through his soft hair, he slowly moves his hands to grip your ass squeezing it softly as you grind slowly on his clothed boner.

he groans softly in your mouth pulling away from the kiss and looking you up and down.

"gosh you are so beautiful, i fucking love how long your lashes are and how cute your lips are." he says softly caressing your cheeks as you put on your cheesy smile and burry your head in the crook of his neck.

✰ YEOSANG !

he loves when you cuddle him !

as you two are about to go to bed you both don't sleep with clothes on..really only panties for you and hes just wearing his boxers.

he really does love skin ship when it comes to sleeping with you

he likes to tightly hug you from the back whenever your mad at him and don't really want to look him in the eyes for the night.

oh and when your horny..he gets horny.

you rub your ass on his cock on purpose to see how he reacts even though you get the same reaction everytime you do it. he roughly pinches your nipples making you moan in pain.

"you bitch! that hurt!" you say turning around to him pouting. he laughs in your face as he caresses your hair.

"well your the one that wants to be bad. do you really want to test my waters right now?" you look him in the eyes with a smirk and tilt your head.

"do i sir?" you say smashing your lips onto his in an instant.

anddd the rest in most definitely up to your imagination! LMFAOO have fun!!

[imaginespazzi]

Forget jealous Paige, how do we think poor KK's dealing with the fact that her father and sister were literally vibing to her song WITHOUT her 😭

Alright unserious unedited chaotic family drabble because I feel like procrastinating. Like I'm not even joking this is the most random thing I've ever written so read at your own discretion:

It's way too early in the morning when Paige's phone rings, making both her and Ice groan.

"KK what the fuck," Paige asks groggily, wiping at bleary eyes as a furious KK's face fills her phone screen.

"You said you didn't have a favorite child. LIAR," KK yells.

"Oh my god KK," Ice whines from across the room, "please shut the fuck up. My head is pounding."

"GOOD! TO MY SONG?" KK pays no attention, still as loud as ever, "HOW COULD YOU? BOTH OF YOU FUCKING TRAITORS."

"Bro you knew we were going," Paige sighs, sitting up properly.

"That's not the point. You know what give me one second. AZZI. AZZI. AZZI," and then KK's off running, blurry on Paige's screen as she yells for Azzi.

"Oh my god what? What?" Azzi's concerned voice comes through the phone, a smile replacing her frown when KK thrusts the phone in her face, "oh, hi P!"

Before a now grinning Paige can reply, KK cuts her off, "no! Don't hi P her. Did you see Ice's live? They been having the time of our lives without us. THEY WERE VIBING TO MY SONG. MY SONG AZZI!"

"Uh they're quite literally there to get drunk and party, we knew this," Azzi says, trying to hide a smile.

"Again not the point," KK sighs exasperatedly.

"What is the point KK," Paige asks with a tired yawn, "get to it then."

"The point is that you two are getting divorced and I'm finding myself a new stepfather. I will not be tolerating this disrespect," KK says firmly.

"Excuse me," Paige says shrilly, "I do not agree to a divorce."

"You don't have to. Mothers do what's best for their children and Azzi's gonna do what's best for me. Right Azzi?" KK glares at Azzi who sighs exasperatedly.

"You're both aware that you're not actually my husband and child right?"

"Excuse you," Paige screeches at the same time as KK gasps dramatically and Azzi has to mentally prevent herself from sighing again.

"Okay alright, divorce yes okay," Azzi gives in, KK squeals and this time Paige is glaring.

"Wow. It's that easy huh? Guess all of those years meant nothing to you."

Azzi shakes her head, trying to hide her smile at Paige's mock offense.

"And now to find a stepfather," KK says triumphantly and then her eyes light up with a glint as a blonde walks in, "KATE!"

Kate looks like a deer caught in the headlight as she walks cautiously towards an over-excited KK and a slightly mortified Azzi, "uhhh hi?"

"I have a very important question for you Kate," KK says with all the seriousness of the world, "are you married?"

"Uh....no?" Kate answers, confused at that line of questioning, as Azzi hides her face in her palms.

"KK what the fuck are you doing?" Paige yells at her phone, suddenly very unamused by this whole thing.

"Ssssh P-boogers, I'm about to perform a wedding."

"Umm what?" poor Kate asks, looking at Azzi for help, not used to the insanity that is the UConn women's team. To be honest, she's not fully sure if all of this is a joke.

"You and Azzi are getting married and then you're going to adopt me," KK says firmly.

"I swear we're normal people....most of the time," Azzi tries to reassure Kate.

"Dearly beloved, or unbeloved since it's Paige and Ice, I guess, we are here today to marry these two women," KK begins and then looks at Azzi and Kate who are standing a feet apart, "uh hello? You have to hold hands."

Paige splutters, "Martin I don't know you that well but if you hold her hand I swear to God."

"Oh calm down ex-father," KK fires back, "let me get my new parents married in peace. Now since there are no objections-"

"I OBJECT," Paige yells, turning to a sleeping Ice who's trying to block out the noise using a pillow, "ICE your mother is getting married to someone else, get the fuck up and come here and object with me."

"Your objections don't count because you're liars and traitors. MY SONG. MY FUCKING SONG."

"Bro you're all I was thinking about I swear," Paige pleads, "after every Bow, I was like oh my god KK would have loved this. I missed you every second I'm sorry."

"Sorry is not good enough," KK says petulantly.

"I got you a signed autograph. It was gonna be a surprise but you need to know. I swear KK, I would have had so much more fun if it was with you bro. It just wasn't the same."

"Oh that makes me feel great. Thanks Paige." Ice mumbles from under the sheets.

"ONE MAD CHILD AT A TIME THANK YOU," Paige says exasperatedly.

KK contemplates Paige's words for a moment before turning to Kate.

"I'm sorry Kate. It looks like this wedding can't go on. It's not you. It's us. Hope you understand," she says with a solemn expression, "but I already have a father and she's great. A little stupid sometimes but great."

Kate nods dumbstruck, unsure what had just happened in the last couple of minutes but she's pretty sure she's just been dismissed.

"FATHER," KK yells turns her face back to her phone, "I missed you. Let's never fight again. That was the worst 10 minutes of my life."

"SON SON," Paige shouts with glee, "let's never do that again."

Azzi pinches the bridge of her nose, wondering how she'd let this become her life.

"If the two of you are done, can I go back to rehab now?" she asks with a raised eyebrow.

Paige narrows her eyes at Azzi through the phone, "were you about to get married to someone else?"

Oh boy here we go again

[stone-stars]

aka, emily using unusual senses to solve murph's puzzles

Transcript:

Emily: Can I go and sniff 'em Caldwell: Oh shit. Murph, incredulous: Can you go and sniff 'em? Emily: Yeah, I wanna get in real close to the nape of the neck where all your most personal scents come out, and I wanna sniff 'em. (laughs) Murph: Moonshine go ahead and roll a perception check with advantage. [Caldwell and Emily laugh.] Caldwell: I'm gonna be mad if this works. Jake: Which one is she sniffing? Caldwell: Both, I guess. Emily: I mean… I'm goin for both Murph: Okay. Emily: I think I gingerly walk towards Hardwon number one. Take in a deep nape of the neck sniff. Jake: Great, yeah. This is like as I'm squaring up to fight you. Emily: Then I'm walking into the other one. (laughs) Take another deep huff-a-Hardwon. And I got a… 23! Murph: Jesus christ. [Caldwell laughs.] Okay. Moonshine, you walk over to one of the Hardwons, um, the one played by me. You… sniff him-- Emily: Uh-huh. Does he smell like he been drinkin? Murph: He smells like… sweat and blood and alcohol that he's sweating out. Caldwell: Checks. Emily: Okay. Murph: You go over to the other Hardwon. Caldwell: Oh boy. Murph: The one being played by Jake at the moment, um, and he smells like sulfur. Murph: And you quickly think-- this might not actually be gold. Emily: Ah! So this ain't gold so we gotta figure out which one is actually gold. Umm-- if that's the case, can I just bite the next one to see if I think it's gold? [Caldwell and Jake laugh.] Murph: … wow. Emily: I don't wanna burn all my spell slots. Jake: Yeah, she'd be able to like, bend it. There'd like, be a little bit of give. Emily: Yeah. That's what you see when people are testing if something's real gold or not. They bite it. Murph, incredulous: Moonshine, go ahead and give me a perception check. [Caldwell laughs.] Emily: That's gonna be a 23! Murph, laughing: Moonshine. Jake: Damn right. [Caldwell and Emily laugh.] Murph: You do not press any of the buttons. You go around and you bite each individual gold dragon. Emily: Okay, I think the first thing Fia's going to look at is-- Fia's looking at-- is Shank out right now? Murph: Uh, Shank I think was out, 'cause Shank met Kenley. Jake: That's right, yeah. Emily: Okay. Shank, uh-- Fia's going to go over, take a sniff of Shank. Shank (Murph): Aah! Emily: To see if there is any sort of like-- if it is, you know, the scent of bonfires and dry leaves, and then I will look at autumn. If it is the set of, you know, wisteria leaves-- like-- wisteria flowers blooming I will look into spring. Jake: Very nice. Murph: Oooooh. That is… interesting Fia. You fuck me with the weird way you think, my wife. [Emily cackles.] Murph: Um, go ahead and give me a perception check you fucking maniac. Henry (Jake): You know, this is actually perfect, 'cause he hasn't been eating potato skins lately-- he really should smell like himself. Emily: 18 on the dice! That becomes a… 24! Murph: Jesus christ. Caldwell: Mmm. Take a big wiff. Emily: I fill my nostrils. You see literally some of the shadow is leaving Hank and being inhaled by me. Shank: Woah! Easy!

[jinnie-ret]

MY YOUTH | SKZ NINTH AU

stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)

<---------- back to my youth

<---------- back to main masterlist

chapter 1

genre: fluff content warnings: swearing (?) word count: 1.1k

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Sunny... Lou, wake up, we've got to get ready for practice!"

"Give me five more minutes mum..."

"Yah! I'm not your mum!"

Louisa rolled over in her bed, squinting as she opened her eyes from the sun peeking through the blinds. Huh. Since when did she have blinds in her room? Blinking to adjust her vision to the lighting, she was shocked to the one and only Lee Know from Stray Kids.

"WHAT THE FUCK!!!" she exclaimed in shock at the top of her lungs, which clearly gave the same feeling to the man as he jumped back from her sudden and unexpected yell. The two of them could only wordlessly look at each other, both of them speechless but for different reasons.

Footsteps suddenly came piling into the room, which as she tore her gaze away from one of her idols, she noticed the room was something she could have only dreamed of. Her walls were painted a lovely sage green colour, tapestries hung up on the wall, wound from thick white string. There was an overall calming feeling to the room, Louisa noticed, which was added to by the soft fluffy rug in the middle of the floor and several variations of cat plushies scattered around the room.

"What's happened? Why is there shouting?" Bang Chan questioned hurriedly, looking over the two of his members and seeing no clear signs as to what just happened.

Meanwhile, Louisa was freaking out. All of Stray Kids were in her room, which wasn't her room but she would have to assume for now that it was. Maybe it was all happening in a dream? And she finally shifted like she saw everyone do on Tiktok.

Yes! That must be it.

Taking deep breaths to try and calm herself down, she did her best to act normal.

Easier said than done.

"Hey? Hello? Anyone in there, Sunny?" Seungmin waved his hand in front of the girl's face, bringing her back to reality. Or whatever this place was.

"Oh, hey, what?" Louisa wiped her tired eyes, clocking onto the fact that they kept calling her 'Sunny'.

Was this her stage name?!?

"You screamed in my face," Lee Know pretended to burst into tears, grabbing onto Han's leg in comfort from his position on the floor he hadn't moved from.

"My baby!" Han joined in, gasping and sinking to the floor as he cradled Lee Know to him and hugged him tightly.

Hmmm. At least they weren't acting differently from how she expected them too.

"Oh," Louisa said and let out a giggle at her two members. Wow, that would be something to get used to.

"Haha, she just said oh," Jeongin laughed pointing at the girl who still seemed dazed.

"Lou, why did you yell? Stays are right you really are like Minho," Hyunjin pointed out with a grin on his face, lazily brushing a stray hair from his face.

Wow, to be compared to Lee Minho.

"Oh, I umm, had a dream I was at home so I was confused when I woke up and saw Lino in my face," Louisa laughed, quickly coming up with a sketchy lie that could be covered up by her tiredness.

She saw a couple of the members pull a sad face at her and wondered why. It would have to be something she'd find out later.

"Ah Lino-ah, you gotta stop surprising Flo like that, we told you enough times already!" Changbin scolded him, arms crossed over his chest.

"Yah! I didn't want her to be tired for practise. You know she can be moody," Lee Know said back, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Moody?" Louisa held a hand against her chest in disbelief. She hoped she wasn't moody around her favourite people.

"Hey hey hey! Our sunshine is never moody!" Felix sat down next to Louisa and covered her ears to protect her from the words.

Louisa could feel her heartbeat picking up quickly. Was she this close with the members?

A sigh was let out, and everyone turned to Bang Chan to see him shaking his head.

"Guys, it's literally only gone 7am," he muttered shaking his head before he began to walk away, "such a handful."

The other members began to follow suit and continue getting ready and whatnot, when Han turned to Louisa.

"It wasn't a bad dream, was it?" he asked her quietly, a brow raised in concern as he became serious.

"No, it was a good one, probably one of the best ever," Louisa thought to herself as she recognised this dream of Stray Kids to be one of a kind.

"Okay, good, well make sure you're awake, we leave in half an hour," Han cheerily said, happy his youngest member was too as he went to hunt for some food for breakfast.

_____

On their way to the company, Louisa felt in her element being around the boys. It just felt so natural. Like she was meant to be there. She praised the gods above for letting her experience this dream.

"So your schedule today starts off with dance practice for Miroh, then you have vocals to record and some free time after that for producing or anything else you need to prepare," the manager that was in the car with them began.

So they were practising for Miroh? Gosh Louisa didn't even know what year it was until then. From her own knowledge they had just entered the summer of 2021, after winning the competition show Kingdom Legendary War where they participated with other boy groups. She wondered how it would work with her being in the group now.

At least this way she knew the dance quite well already, it would be just knowing how to fit into the formation.

Getting out of the car and entering the company was another thing. Louisa had no clue where she was going but as they walked past the café inside she couldn't help get excited - she had heard amazing things about the food. At least for now she could justify following after the other members as they all went in to practise the dance for Miroh.

Someone bumped her shoulder as they walked through the corridors, causing Louisa to stumble back a bit.

"Ugly slut," a girl muttered under her breath as she walked past.

"Huh?" Louisa questioned out loud.

She'd barely walked into the company and was already being faced with drama. Silly to think she'd live a life without it as an idol.

"Lou?" Jeongin turns around when he notices she wasn't walking with them.

"Oh, sorry, got distracted!" Louisa brushed off what happened and jogged lightly to catch up with the guys.

"Yah Lino-ah really must have startled you," Bang Chan laughed at the girl's expression.

"Shhhh," Louisa held a finger against her lips as she rolled her eyes.

"Kids, get to practice!" the voice she recognised as the manager's called out. Good to know there's someone keeping them in check when Chan gets in his cheeky moods.

First practise, this would be a breeze, right?

next chapter -->

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kai-lee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari @lixie-phoria

[pupyuj]

What do you think of g!p Kazuha?

hehe cutie pie who panics whenever she gets a hard on bcs of u 🤤 baby doesn't even know why she's getting hard, you literally just said hi to her?? she's so smitten fr... every time your hands linger on her for like, half a milisecond she's practically coming in her pants 😭 no im kidding but she does have to run to the nearest restroom and relieve herself :((( poor zuha having to suffice with the thought of you as she pumped in and out of her hand,, coming all over the restroom's walls and making a mess out of her hand,,

sjsbdkfnd her head is kind of woozy from jerking herself off so she forgets that she was in a public restroom and goes ahead and leaves the stall to wash her hands,, but to her luck, you just entered the restroom in that darn skirt that kazuha has been daydreaming about ripping off of you... pausing in your tracks when you noticed the tall hot mess just standing there with something on her hand and.. and her cock just poking out of her unzipped jeans????? 😭😭

wanting to ask kazuha what the fuck she was doing beforehand or if she was drunk or something when you heard footsteps nearing the restroom,, so you push her inside a stall bcs her dick was literally out in the opem 😭 but oh wow! how convenient that the stalls were designed to be occupied by one person only! now you were forced to be close to kazuha :(((

"zuha... what is that thing on your hand??" you were asking as if you didn't take glances at her hard cock every second 🙄

"uh.. u-umm.. t-that's... that's my... cum..." bcs what else was kazuha going to say???

then you got to thinking... kazuha is really cute, and what kind of a friend are you if you didn't offer her your.. services? 😭 so you took her hand and her heart nearly leapt out of her throat when you started licking her cum off,,, "obviously you can't go out with cum on your hands..." you said before you took in two of her fingers inside your mouth and started sucking them dry of her seed,,,

"mm. you taste good, zuha."

kazuha was convinced you were insane 😭 you laughed softly at her wide eyes before lifting your skirt up a little and showing her that wet spot on your cute panties... "got any more of that...? i think i might need some..." she really didn't think you were some kind of whore, so this was a huge fucking turn on for her 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 and there was no way kazuha was going to say no to her crush.. so then by the next second, you were getting railed against the stall door 😍 your cunt in full display for kazuha as she held you up against the door, pounding into you so desperately.. so happy that she finally got what she wanted 😵‍💫💞

[sunlightandsuffering]

‘I lost my asshole friends in the club and you’re hot, help me’

Mikasa has in many occasions in her life as a young adult helped drunken partygoers get home. Friends, family members, acquaintances, strangers, you name it, she even once helped a lost dog get home on a particularly drunken Friday night. 

However, in her limited experience, she does not often help boys get home. 

They are a strange species, too macho to ask for help, and often knowing how to make their own way home, whether it be walking, or drunnkenly stumbling onto the bus. She rarely has to deal with the men in her life losing their faculties so completely that she has to get them home. No, when Mikasa plays mom in the club to her rag tag friend group, it is most often her girl friends who are the problem, namely Sasha. 

Tonight though, Sasha is remarkably well-behaved, sticking close to Connie instead and sharing his drinks instead of throwing back so many of her own. 

Mikasa had thought that maybe tonight would be a break, that she wouldn't be worrying about getting anyone else home.

So colour her surprised, when at 1:30 am, when all her friends are leaving, her the last out of the club, she bumps into the ultimate hot mess himself: Eren Yeager. Eren is hot, attractive in the kind of way most girls dream about, the big bad boy that’s going to sweep you off your feet, drop your panties and fuck you in the back alley before taking you home to cuddle in his bed, which probably doesn’t have a head board but does have a navy blue bedspread. She knows of Eren, has never met him personally, only seen him from afar in Armin’s pictures and too many drunken stories. Yet somehow, at the end of her night, he quite literally falls into her, and despite her own tall stature, it’s a miracle he doesn’t take them both to the floor. Only by the grace of god, her knee-high combat boots and the wall does she stop them from toppling to the floor. Eren on the other hand, deep dives right into the comfortable pillows of her cleavage, and as she catches her balance, one arm bracing them against the wall and the other, clutching his shoulders for support, Eren seems only too happy to be face-first in her tits. She colours bright pink at the thought, because it’s not just anyone diving for her breasts, it’s Eren fucking Yeager. 

“Hey,” she hisses, smacking him as she tries to tear them apart, “Those are my boobs jackass.” “And may I just say,” Eren mumbles, finally pulling himself from her chest, eyes glazed over with the effects of alcohol, “They are really fucking amazing, like seriously, you have great tits.” Mikasa genuinely doesn’t know what to say, because on one hand, wow, what a compliment and from Armin’s best friend the manwhore, it’s definitely high praise. But on the other hand, what the fuck? She settles for a glare and this seems to spark Eren’s brain into action, “Oh my god Mikasa! It’s you, Armin’s friend. Holy shit you’re prettier in person.” Mikasa bites down on her lip to contain her smile because shit, he knows who she is. “Yes, that would be me, what can I do for you Eren?” Eren beams at her, and why is his smile pretty, crooked in a way that’s too enticing, and the green of his eyes it’s fucking emerald sparkling, just like her mother’s wedding ring. 

The audacity of him to be so pretty in the middle of the night in the club when everyone else looks like trash and smells even worse, it’s just unfair really. 

“I umm, I saw you and I don’t know if you can tell but I’m a little more drunk than I’d like to be right now, and I took an edible about an hour ago and it’s realllllly starting to hit,” He tells her candidly, and as he says it she notices just how red his eyes are, and just how fucking out of it he looks, much perkier than she’d ever expect him to be. “But I saw you and I know who you are because Armin never shuts the fuck up about you and honestly, you’re stunning I would have definitely hit on you anyway, but I thought maybe you might be able to get me home.” He’s rambling now, but he very abruptly shuts up again as his eyes slide to her tits and Mikasa fights back a smile because wow she really is getting unfiltered Eren right now. 

“You want me to get you home?” Mikasa clarifies and Eren’s eyes dart up, a patented smirk overtaking his face as second nature kicks in, “To be honest I actually want to take you home, because I think together we would do truly great fucking things, but I think I’m too crossfaded to manage it.” 

Mikasa snorts as she calmly slips herself under his arm, her other wrapping around his waist to keep him steady, “You’re gonna hate yourself in the morning.” “Oh, I don’t doubt it, I’m killing my shot with Armin’s other best friend, and I’ve been waiting to make a move for a long ass time.” 

Mikasa barks out a laugh as she manoeuvres him out the door and past the bouncers who are watching them like hawks. They look suspicious of Eren and one even asks if she’s okay and Mikasa has to chuckle, she’s the one supporting him, she has no doubt he’s going to pass out as soon as his head hits the pillow. “I’m good,” She tells them wryly, before swinging Eren towards the intersection where most Ubers and cabs are picking people up. She sighs as she grabs for her phone, she’d really wanted to avoid fronting the uber bill tonight, but alas, that’s part of being the mom friend of the group. Eren smacks her hand away as soon as she opens the app. “Do it on my phone, it’s in my back pocket, you can put your address in to if you want, but you also don't have to, you could crash at my place."

She looks up at him, eyebrow quirked up, “Is that your really shitty way of telling my I can stay over.” He looks down at her affectionately, eyes sparkling with mirth and far too many substances, “If you want.” 

“I’ll think about it.” She doesn’t think about it, it’s not even a question. She only inputs one address into his phone, and it’s the one he tells her to. 

If he’s going to wake up tomorrow regretting shooting his shot with her, he’s going to do it with her in his bed so he can do it properly the second time around. They wait on the side of the street and Eren keep shooting her little glances, and tugging her closer under his arm, any excuse to touch and Mikasa can’t help but grin when he becomes fascinated with the curve of her waist. “You know, your skin is really soft, like so soft, you would make a great pillow.” 

“Thanks,” She responds wryly, and he nestles her in closer, his fingers lacing with her own where his arm is draped over her shoulder, “Especially your tits, really great pillow I know from personal experience.” “How are you so smooth right now? Genuinely I want to know,” Mikasa comments, looking up at him curiously. She has no doubt he really is high out of his mind, and too cross-faded to function, but seriously, how the fuck is he so suave right now? “I don’t know,” Eren tells her honestly, “I just think you have really great tits and I would personally love the opportunity to sleep on them later.” Mikasa giggles, full genuine laughter, “That’s all you want to do? Sleep on them?” “Of course, I would keep it perfectly appropriate, but preferably, your shirt would be off.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” “I’m not, I just get really chatty when I’m high, and you’re really pretty and I seriously cannot stop thinking about your rack, I’m sorry.”

“You’re not sorry at all,” Mikasa teases him, helping him carefully towards the curb as their Uber pulls up.

Eren volleys right back, never missing a beat, “I’m not, not as long as you end up in my bed tonight without a shirt, as long as it gets me that I’m not sorry at all.” 

Getting Eren into the Uber is easier than she thought it would be, although he does seem quite reluctant to relinquish his hold on her waist, and seems very put out when they end up on opposite sides of the car, not even their thighs touching. She can’t suppress her smile when his eyes keep slipping to her cleavage, every few minutes like clockwork, he’ll look away, as if chastising himself. Then on cue, seconds later, his gaze is right back, eyes focused entirely on her breasts. Mikasa can’t say she’s too upset about it. 

When they arrive at his place Eren takes the lead, eager to get home now that he knows his surroundings. The car door is barely closed before he’s dragging her towards the apartment lobby. “Eren I was gonna get my own Uber–” “No you’re not, you’re sleeping in my bed, without a shirt,” He shoots her a downright mischievous glance as he clicks the button for the elevator, “Nothing is going to happen because I’m a gentleman, but Mikasa I will be using you as a pillow tonight, and you will like it.” He seems to think better of his sentence as the elevator doors open, looking back at her a little guiltily as he drags her inside, “That is unless you’re uncomfortable with it for any reason, in which case I will take the couch and I will be sad, but I will use a throw cushion.” 

Mikasa laughs again, because god is he fucking funny when he’s high, no traces of the serious playboy Armin always talks about, “You’re surprisingly eloquent you know.” “I’m always eloquent,” The words slip right off his tongue, “My mother was an English major and I don’t dick around when it comes to prose. Thus, my vocabulary is always fantastic.” 

Why is that hot, and why did he use ‘thus’ in a sentence? Who is this man? 

He grins at her, all teeth and it screams trouble. Yes, Mikasa is in trouble as they step out of the elevator and Eren leads her down the hall towards his apartment. Thankfully, he happens to have his keys on him because that would have been a true tragedy. The second they’re in his apartment, he kicks off his shoes, tugs off his shirt, and before she can say a word he’s speeding towards his bedroom. Eren doesn’t even bother to turn a light on, and Mikasa awkwardly follows him, toeing off her shoes and being careful to lock the door behind them. His apartment is very male, sparsely decorated and lit only by the light of the moon. There is a TV, a few plants and a comfortable looking sectional, but not much else. She slips down the hall awkwardly, wondering if she should linger or just let him knock himself out and pretend it never happened, tomorrow morning. But of course, that would mean losing her shot with Armin’s very hot other best friend who is clearly a little obsessed with her right back, and what fun would that be? 

Mikasa tiptoes towards the only open door in the hallway, what she can only assume is Eren’s bedroom. 

She finds him splayed out across the bed, his bedside table light on, and looking up at her expectantly. He’s somehow managed to change himself into a pair of sweats and nothing else, and yeah she was right, his sheets are navy blue. But nonetheless, his bed does look very comfy, the comforter exceptionally fluffy looking and probably nice and heavy, a great weight to sleep with on top of her. And to her immense surprise, he even has sheets, grey ones and they look fucking clean and isn’t that a turn on.

Eren beckons her from the corner of his large bed, crooking a finger towards her, and she goes willingly, stopping at the edge of the bed frame when he holds up his hand in a ‘stop’ motion. 

“Sorry, there’s a no shirt policy.” Mikasa stands in front of him, and without a second thought she strips her shirt off, mushes it up into a ball and then hurls it at Eren’s face with impressive accuracy. It lands with a satisfying thunk and Eren falls back to the mattress like he’s been mortally wounded. She takes off her pants too, choosing not to sleep in her jeans, before crawling into the bed. As Eren throws the shirt to the ground he has a pout on his face, and he looks decidedly unimpressed, “You’re still wearing a bra.”

Mikasa huffs, “You said nothing about a bra.” Now he’s being honest to god whiny, “Please?” 

Mikasa doesn’t really know why she relents. All she does know is that when he finally passes out, not five minutes later, it feels really fucking good to have Eren Yeager’s cheek pressed right against her breasts, his soft breaths fanning her nipple with every exhale. She’s more turned on than she’s ever been in her life, and she has no fucking idea how she’s going to fall asleep, especially not when his erection is so clearly pressed against her ass. 

She’s so fucked. But in the morning, when she wakes up to a much more sober Eren raining kisses over her chest, and those downright devious green eyes, she thinks she’s made the right choice. 

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 3)

notes: another short part, because it seems like these devils website streamed games are harder for me to write for? so sorry!

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by nicohischier, ehaula, and 218,966 others

y/ndevils00 greetings and salutations! welcome to another preseason recap! as always, strap in and get ready!

just a reminder that as this is preseason, not all of satan’s favorite children played! tonight we had swiss cheese, swiss roll, uncle haulaback girl, uncle lizard again, best friend number 1, V², and ginger snap!

we started off the game by giving up a goal to the annoying orange’s 😐

BUT lizard man tied us up almost halfway through the 1st! POP OFF, UNCLE CURTSY!

captain whore was jailed tonight for being too cute, and ya know what? i think it’s fair! make him stay there!

not long after cap’s penalty, we got a goal from holtzy! giving us a 2-1 lead!

but then ham sammich also got a penalty for tripping!

we made it almost all the way through 3rd with our lead and i was really looking forward to going home! until one of those orange fucks tied up the game 🫠

i had a few choice words for that player… lindy didn’t like my words, i don’t think

however, about 2 and a half minutes into OT… HAULA THE BALLA GOT THE GAME WINNING GOAL WITH ASSISTS FROM BESTIE NUMBER 1 AND THE GIANT TEDDY BEAR!!

which means your devils are 4-0 in the preseason!! 3 games left!

p.s. this is my formal request to never have to be around gritty again. i thought adam fantilli was my biggest fear, but i’ve been proven wrong

tagged curtislazar95, nicohischier, holtz_10, dougieham, ehaula, dawson1417

Load more comments

curtislazar95 i always look forward to your praise, niece!

y/ndevils00 i’m so glad! can i babysit your children (my cousins) one day?

curtislazar95 quite literally never 💚🦎

y/ndevils00 eh, probably the right choice

jackhughes are you seriously afraid of a mascot, dove?

y/ndevils00 look at him! i think he would plan my murder and get away with it

grittynhl i would

y/ndevils00 OH MY JESUS FUCK GET HIM AWAY

lhughes_06 dawson sent him a video of you throwing your phone and now jack is currently doubled over on the floor, tears rolling down his face, as he laughs at this

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes glad to know you find my FEAR amusing

ehaula i try, i try 🤗

y/ndevils00 you did better than dawson! (don’t tell dawson)

dawson1417 YOU KNOW I CAN SEE THIS, RIGHT??

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 no you can’t, this is a private conversation!

dawson1417 i can assure you, it is NOT

john.marino97 i’m loving this

dawson1417 @/john.marino97 shut up, you’ve been stealing my affection!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 @/john.marino97 boys, boys, i love you both equally!

dawson1417 no you don’t

john.marino97 no you don’t

dougieham why does it look like you took that picture of me from on the ice?

y/ndevils00 i have my ways

dougieham were you ON THE ICE somehow?!

jackhughes are you kidding? she would’ve broken her neck

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes okay and who’s fault is that? my boyfriend is a professional hockey player and you’ve never TAUGHT ME how to ice skate

jackhughes umm i TRIED to teach you! you fell on your face and then bribed luke to distract me so that you could get yourself hot cocoa and hide from me so you wouldn’t have to get on the ice again

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes hmm that doesn’t sound like something i would do. nope, not at all

nicohischier i didn’t miss this

y/ndevils00 yes you did

nicohischier i missed you calling me “captain whore” and taking pictures of me in the penalty box?

y/ndevils00 well maybe if you didn’t get penalties, i wouldn’t be ABLE to take pictures of you in the naughty boy box

nicohischier oh wow, i never thought of that before 😐

y/ndevils00 i know, you’re welcome

dawson1417 i got that assist for you!

y/ndevils00 awww i appreciate that, merc-dawg!

y/ndevils00 a goal would’ve been nicer tho

dawson1417 i’m feeling very under appreciated right now

y/ndevils00 aww i’m sorry, i love you! (do better)

dawson1417 i love you too! (yes ma’am 😔)

grittynhl i’m coming for you

y/ndevils00 help me 🥲

[forever-rogue]

I haven't seen it yet but I've thought about it some times: Eddie (with plus size reader, bc I'm a big girl and I'd really just love to picture myself with him more clearly) where reader tells him she's pregnant (after they're both finished with HS some time), Eddie being a super supportive boyfriend during the pregnancy, all excited, even reads magazines and articles and books about it all and just being super happy and crying when the baby is born 🥺 and always so supportive and reassuring when reader has intense body image issues especially after giving birth. I would LOVE it if you're willing to write something like that 💛

He seems to be such a big softie and I imagine that he'd be an amazing father. Teaching his kids to play the guitar or literally any instrument, jamming out with them playfully to Metallica, draping his Dio vest around them and all that. Ugh. My heart. 😭🥺 sure he'd be scared to become like his own father but deep down we all know that will never happen and reader would always reassure him that he's doing a splendid job at being a dad 💛

AN | We have some baby daddy Eddie because…he’s the best and why not. Maybe, if y’all want we can do more dad Eddie 🥰

Warnings | None

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.5k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You weren’t stupid. 

You were a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. So when you started throwing up in the mornings, starting feeling nauseous, and experienced way too many emotions all at once, you knew something was up. That and the fact that your period was late….for the second month in a row. The first month you were willing to chalk up to stress; you were months away from finishing college and the reality that life was going to change again was enough to make you worry. But two months was worrisome. It hadn’t happened before. Shit. 

It was the early ‘90s and while science had come a long way, part of you still didn’t want to believe the results on the little plastic stick in your hand. Maybe it was a false positive…but no. That combined with everything told you that it definitely wasn’t false. 

“Shit,” you tossed the small plastic stick into the sink with a groan. You studied your reflection and shook your head at your teary eyed mirror self. Well. At least you had beaten teen pregnancy, although not by much. And at least you were almost finished with college - you wouldn’t be super far along by the time you were. And then you could have your baby and eventually find a job and then it would - stop. You were getting way too ahead of yourself. You didn’t even positively know you were pregnant. Not until you went to the doctor. And then there were still other options. 

Fuck.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey space cadet,” Eddie laughed lightly as he waved his hand in front of your face, “you with me?”

“Huh?” you blinked a few times to get rid of the bleariness from your eyes before turning your attention to him. You were sitting on the couch, watching a movie after dinner. Well, he was watching, and you were panicking. But Eddie knew something was up; you weren’t curled into his side as you normally would be. You were on the other side and hunched into yourself with a blanket expression on your face, “y-yeah. ‘s all fine, love.”

“What’s wrong?” he wasn’t buying it in the slightest, “babe.”

“Nothing.”

“You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“I’m fine.”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“It’s not-”

“You are too!”

“I’m pregnant,” those two little words, ones with enormous weight behind them, spilled from your lips before you could think about it. Eddie recoiled from how he’d been leaning towards you, his eyes narrowing in confusion, “I-I think. I, umm…I took a test today and it was positive.”

“Pregnant,” he repeated as you slowly nodded, eyes welling up with fresh tears, “wow.”

“Eddie, I’m so sorry,” it was instinctive to deflect and apologize, despite the fact that you weren’t at fault, “I didn’t mean to…the condom must have broken or something.”

“Angel, why are you apologizing?”

“B-because?” he reached over and gently brushed away the tears that had fallen from your eyes, “I’m the one that’s pregnant. It’s my fault.”

“Absolutely not,” he took your chin in his and turned your face to his, “last time I checked it takes two for you to get pregnant. So, you know, that’s at least half my fault, but nobody’s at fault. It’s alright, sweetheart. We’ll figure it out.”

“Eddie,” you pulled his hand and huffed, “this is a baby we’re talking about, not just a decision like what we want for dinner or what concert we’re going to next. This is a huge thing. Like…whatever we do will change our lives forever.”

“I know,” he put his hands on your thighs and urged you closer to his warm frame. You hesitated for a moment before relaxing and shuffling over so he could pull you into his lap. A singular look into his big, soft brown eyes had you crying you again, tears running down your cheeks as you tried to stifle your cries. Eddie made a small sound before he wrapped his arms tightly around you as you buried your face into his chest, “I know, babe. Let it all out, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“How?” it was a muffled whimper against his neck.

“Because we’ve got each other,” a kiss was pressed to the side of your head, “and whatever you want to do, you’ll always have my full support. But look at this way - you’re just about done with school and I know you, my smart girl, will make it happen no matter what. I’ve got a decent job and with that and gigs we’re okay on money. We have our own place and we can turn the extra office and practice room into a nursery.”

“Eddie,” you turned and looked at him with a small, teary smile, “why do you always know what to say?”

“‘Cause I’m your boyfriend, duh,” he pressed a kiss to your lips, not minding the salty taste of your tears, “and I love you. Always.”

“What if I…what if I want to have an abortion?” you asked and his expression didn’t falter.

“Then that’s what you’ll do,” he stated simply, “it’s your body, your choice. I’ll be with you no matter what. And if you decide we want to wait to have little nuggets until way later that’s cool too.”

“Stop being so wonderful,” he took your face tenderly in his face before resting his forehead against yours. You knew - you’d always known - that he was the only man that you could ever imagine loving so fully and deeply, “I love you, Eddie.”

“I love you,” it was a soft whisper, barely audible but it still warmed your whole body, “we’ll figure this out, I swear.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Quit staring weirdo,” you hadn’t even checked to see if he was looking, but you could feel his intense stare on you regardless. You turned out of the closet and found him leaning against the doorframe, a cheeky smile on his face, arms crossed over his chest, “Eds.”

“Can’t help it,” he grinned, “you’re so beautiful.”

“Ugh,” you teasingly groaned, “such a sap. I don’t feel so beautiful right now…more like a giant beach ball.”

It was about halfway through your pregnancy and you were definitely feeling very pregnant these days. You’d started to show but it was like overnight you had grown a much larger bump which caused you to spiral. Suddenly it all seemed so overwhelming; you were going to have a small human to take care of, you still needed to finish the nursery, and you hadn’t even thought about getting a job after having the baby and none of your pants fit right and it was everything all at once. But all your worries and fears had subsided as soon as Eddie had wrapped you up in his arms and promised that everything would work out. 

“Well, you are a beautiful beach ball,” he snorted in amusement as you glowered at him. He held up his hands in mock surrender before coming over to and pressing a kiss to your cheek, “I’m kidding, babe. You’re even more beautiful than the day we met, and now you’re growing our kid? That’s pretty fucking metal and makes you that much more beautiful.”

“This kid’s already got you wrapped around their little finger, don’t they?” he grinned and took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to your knuckles.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, “and their mom does too. Babe, did you know that the baby’s like the size of an ear of corn now?”

“Corn?” you grinned and he nodded eagerly, his curls bouncing roguishly, “that’s interesting. Let’s hope it comes out as a human and not a vegetable…or fruit. How did you know that?”

“You’re the one doing the hard work so I figured I gotta pull my pre-dad weight and do the behind the scenes stuff!” oh. You were absolutely and wholly in love with this man. Tears welled up in your eyes and pearled down your cheeks, causing you to sniffle, "oh no, sweetheart. I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry. Was it something I said? Did?"

“N-no,” you shook your head and clung onto him tighter, “I mean yes…but no. ‘m just all sorts of emotional these days. You are just so…wonderful. I love you so much.”

“Oh,” his cheeks flushed a pretty pastel pink as you peppered kisses all over his face, “I love you. I just…I want to support you every way I can, you know? You’re the one doing the hardest work of all and I feel like I’m here doing nothing.”

“You’re so wrong, Eddie Munson,” you took his face in your hands and looked at him with the softest look on your face, “you’ve been so good to me this whole time; you’ve been there for me through everything. You’ve taken care of me and looked up and done so many things to make this whole pregnancy better. I don’t think I could have survived it without you. You’re going to be a great dad, Eds. You already are.”

“I’m going to try,” he promised, “I’m going to give this baby everything I never had. I want them to have all the love in the world. You and the baby.”

“I already do,” it was a soft promise that caused his heart to feel like it was full to bursting, “and so do they. You know, if I had to choose anyone in the world to be my baby daddy, I’m glad it turned out to be you.”

“Baby daddy?” dark brows rose in amusement and almost disappeared into his hairline. 

“Yeah,” you answered simply as you turned back to the closet in a desperate attempt to find something decent and comfortable to wear, “we’re not married so you’re my baby daddy.”

“Not married yet.”

“Oh? You gonna marry me, Munson?”

“Duh, baby,” his smile was so large that it seemed magical, “I’ve been planning that since the day I met you.”

“You’re a real romantic, you know that?”

‘Only for you,” he wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting a hand on your belly, “and for the nugget.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You had been right of course. Eddie had been smitten with your son from the moment he was born and he’d first held him in his arms. 

Jamie ended up being a little mini-me version of his father with those same big brown doe eyes and unruly brown curls. There was no denying that it was his son; not that he would ever want that. He was obsessed with his son, just as he was with you. The best things to ever happen he often claimed. You felt the same, naturally. 

And with every passing day, he proved just how wonderful of a father he was. The best of course, just like you knew he would be. And he'd helped you through so many issues, including all the bad thoughts you let seep in about your body during and after your pregnancy. He was patient and kind, and made you feel so incredibly beautiful and loved. Which you were, of course.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Where are my boys?” It had been a long day of work for you and there had been nothing you wanted more than to come home and pile up with the two of them and get all of the cuddles. You set your bag down but heard no response. Just before you could call out to them again, you heard a hushed voice and some soft music coming from down the hallway. You followed the sounds and peeked through the open door to Jamie’s room. Not surprisingly you found the two of them together, Eddie with his guitar in his hand and his clone sitting across from him, draped in Eddie’s entirely too big jean jacket. You pushed the door open gently to keep from startling either of them, “there you are, my loves!”

“Mommy,” your son was up and padded over to you as best as he could before wrapping his little arms around your legs. You instantly softened and leaned and gently ruffle through his dark mop of curls, “missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Eddie was practically beaming from his spot on the floor, setting aside his guitar to come over to you. He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, sighed softly when he saw how sweetly you were looking at him.

“I missed both of my boys so very much.”

“Up,” the little one turned to you and extended his little arms up to you with an eager expression on his face, “mommy!”

“Sorry bud,” before he could protest, Eddie had scooped him up in his arms and settled him on his hip. Jamie pouted, a trait that was so reminiscent of his father, and looked between the two of you, “mommy can’t pick you up right now, you’re too big.”

“But you pick me up,” he protested with a little huff, “I want mommy.”

“Mommy can’t pick you up because she’s growing your sister,” Eddie explained softly, as he had on several other occasions. You weren’t sure if he just didn’t understand the concept of you being pregnant and him getting a little sister or if he willfully chose to ignore that little fact, “and I’m not so you’re stuck with daddy for now.”

“Okay,” he leaned his head on Eddie’s shoulder as you chuckled in amusement, “I love you, daddy.”

“I love you too bud,” he promised, “you getting tired?”

“‘m not,” a weak little protest.

“How about a nap before dinner?” you suggested softly, “and then after dinner we can watch a movie?”

“Fine,” a dramatic sigh escaped his lips. This was undoubtedly Eddie Munson’s son, “can we please have chicken nuggies for dinner?”

“I think we can make that happen baby,” you promised, motioning for Eddie to put him in his bed. He was so tender as he tucked the young boy in, smoothing over his hair before kissing his forehead. 

“I’ll see you in a little while bud,” he turned to you and kissed you before gently rubbing your still small bump, “let me know if you need any help.”

“I’ve got him,” you grinned, “I’ll be out in a few and if it’s longer than that, I fell asleep and need you to come and rescue me.”

“I can do that, princess.”

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“You’re the most metal ever!”

“Yeah?” he asked as Jamie nodded eagerly, “so are you, kid.”

You exchanged a look with Eddie and his whole face was lit up, and he felt like he was going to melt into a puddle with all the love he held for the two of you. Three, he reminded himself, soon to be a family of four, “I think you’re pretty metal too, babe.”

“We make a pretty metal family!”

[malwaredykes]

ok. finished honest hearts. most of my inventory is plants and mushroom and Soups And Potions And Elixirs made from said plants and mushrooms. which is excellent.

the salt-upon-wounds confrontation was Tchruly garbo like. first of all they lit up ole josh before anyone even had the chance to say anything LOL that wasnt like Bad necessarily just rly funny. like yeah we can negotiate before anything breaks out *the camera pans to Jotchua Grams lifeless body on the pavement* but um second of all what the hell was that dialogue. "grrrr im gonna kill you" "[speech 75] no thats stupid. dont" "umm okei :) but i'll be back >:(" *runs away* Like. man. listen. throughout the entire dlc i Did Not want to be fighting all those white legs lol. i didnt know those people. you know i generally hate the Hostile By Default Irredeemable Canon Fodder Raiders crap and in this case its just especially egregious to me, with them being a Tribe and with me being some random ass normie strolling into the area getting instructed by the local white saviors. like, okay, since i Was getting involved, then if anyone deserved to Feel The Judgment Of Mine fall upon them it was in fact salt-upon-wounds with his track record of being a horrible fucking person. so i had to fight my way through all those white legs only for the Problem Guy to be like "Hm Okay. Deal. You Leave Forever And I Get To Live. Sounds Good. Sucker" like. fuck no. youre dead. this is for waking clouds husband how DARE you make my bald queen SAD

which btw i did encourage cloud to get mad at daniel for hiding that from her. like yeah girl dont take this shit from him. youre allowed to feel angry. who does he think he is. making decisions for the sorrows like youre all children. be mad at him. chase him out. tell him to never show his stinky mug around these parts. If You Want. ahh but then the ending slides said she forgave him.... well i suppose i have to respect her choice... but... cloud honey if you ever wanna team up and chase daniels stinky mug far away just give me a call

i also encouraged follows-chalk to go out there and experience the world outside... i really hated how he felt obligated to ask joshua permission, and how joshua was like Well 🥺 I wont tell him what to do but 🥺 Is it wise... I just worry about my foolish little lamb 🥺... like. Shut Uuuupppp.... chalk is an adult. i think. either way what do You know. jotchua. last time you ventured into The Civilized Lands (lol) you were a fucked up genocide army general so forgive me for thinking you might not have the most objective and up to date outlook here. Anyway. chalk come hang out sometime. come to the lucky 38. youll meet my epic swag friends and family. LOL bit of an aside but (mostly so i dont become insane because of the dlcs writing) i like to imagine that most of the time chalk expresses incredulity about some Civilized World Concept like gambling (-_-) or big dams or big weapons, hes literally fucking with you. like hes joking around. he used to mess with daniel and jotchua like that and now hes doing it with you. like Wow... How Strange... You Say It Is Called A... "Window".... 😂😂😂...

loving how the ending slides barely mentioned joshua also. like wtf happened to him. who knows. damn maybe he did die and i didnt even notice. im sorry jotchua. may your soul quickly find its way to NOWHERE lol #owned

final verdict: waking-cloud and follows-chalk are great, joshua graham is an extremely funny character, daniel is nothing to me, the area is cool, the plot is dumb as hell, the whole thing is racist, the quests are boring. 3/10

[mydearesthrry]

SWEETENER, the zane lowe interview, part one ~ track 14, harry styles

pairings: ex1dbandmember!y/n x harry styles, fem!reader x harry styles

warnings: none, swearing

——

“So just immediately jumping in, Sweetener. How did you come up with that name and what does that song and this album mean to you, specifically?”

“Sweetener— I feel like I kinda wrote when I was in a complicated-ish time in my life? A lot of these songs I’d actually written right before the hiatus and a couple of months after, so I had written most if not all of these songs in the span of like, 11 months? And they surprisingly made it through the cut, most of them.” She explained, legs bent with her left foot tucked under her right thigh, right leg swinging over. 

“Oh, wow. So this is like, a manifestation, kind of? Because I know there was-- unfortunately, a lot of internet backlash around that time, especially with all of your decisions to take a step back from the band just a couple of months before the hiatus was even announced. What was that like, by the way? Being the only girl in a stereotypic ‘boyband’ and then making that tough decision to step back? What was that like for you in all aspects, really?” 

“Oh, good question!” She pauses, gnawing a bit on her lower lip as she tried to decide how to put her thoughts into words. “I think it was very isolating. Over anything else, it was an extremely… isolating feeling. Because even though the media’s comments were very harsh, I more so felt the disappointment and confusion and stuff like that from my close friends and family as well. I think that was the isolation? But there of course was the doubt that I hadn’t chosen correctly or had either abused my greed and selfishness and left because I was entitled? Which was honestly something that I fought with myself with a lot, and still kinda do to this day if I’m honest. But other than that, yeah man, just a fuck ton of isolating days and nights, lots of shit happened. But I also am very lucky to have had a really stable and understanding support system there, like, I constantly had H, and like, fuck, my best friend Nova. I don’t know if I would’ve gotten out of that if it wasn’t for them, yeah.” 

Zane nods, letting her words ring through the air. The two both pause for a few beats, before a cheesy grin plasters itself on Zane’s face. “So, speaking of H, when diving into Sweetener, we find that there’s a really big bold statement in there, wouldn’t you say?”

“If you say what I think you’re about to say, I am going to strangle you.” The girl nodded along, sarcastic smile on her face. 

“Harry Styles– the song. That’s a very bold statement, wouldn’t you say?” He cheeses, laughing softly at the girl who plants her forehead in her hand.

“I knew you were going to do it,” She sighs, genuine smile now gracing her features. “Mhm, there is in fact a song on Sweetener called Harry Styles.” 

She looks to the right of where the main camera sat, Harry Styles literally sitting there with a bright grin on his face, chin resting in his palm as he sat on the grass. He scrunches her nose at her, winking, then laughs at the pink flush that coats her cheeks at his gesture. 

“Hey! My interview, not his,” Zane laughs, catching the young couple’s moment. “Anyways, what was the writing process for that? I’d imagine it’d come together pretty quickly.” “God, umm- yeah! Soulmate– which is what we’ve been calling it since day one, has a lot of sentimental value for me. I wrote it in Italy and then produced it in… I think, New York? When we were in the process of producing it, I wanted it to sound how it felt writing it and the reason- reasons why I wrote it. Like, the sleepless nights and beach days, the more core memories from that trip I wanted to implement the feeling into the production. I think the strings really put it all together. For the writing process, however,” She pauses, taking a quick sip of water before clearing her throat, “The writing process was so fucking fun.” “Okay, so let me tell you how it started. Me and H had taken a quick little 4 day trip to Italy and stayed in our cottage and we went out one day and went to the beach and towards the end of the night, we were sat on a beach towel and I was humming the part at the end that’s kinda like– ‘Got me happy, happy, imma be happy, happy’ and I literally pulled out my phone and recorded me humming it on voice memos. The waves were in the background too. I wrote the rest of it in a little journal I got, basically like the ‘My whole life got me ready for you’ and then the rest came to me pretty naturally.

“But then, right after I thought I finished the song– writing it at least, I found this old poem that I wrote when me and H started exploring our relationship, so like right before we ended the Take Me Home Tour, and it said like– I think the universe has my back, because like an angel, you fell from the sky and into my lap, some cheesy shit, whatever. Before that tho, it went like… ‘Never felt a love so true, and baby I know that it’s you, and I always see my soulmate in all that you do’ but I didn’t really like it, so finding that poem was literally life-altering. And then I was like… what if I just– wrote a song about him and titled it Harry Styles? Like that’s some ballsy shit. And he is my soulmate, anyway. So I did it! And it’s one of my favorite tracks, by far.”

[quitealotofsodapop]

[Now I'm imagining a Judge Judy or Maury-esque trial over the custody/parentage of Sun Luzhen and the other SWKs vs their universes' respective Nuwa, Houtu and Fuxi.]

Goodness, that guy has to earn a LOT of overtime to deal with SWKs and the fams nonsense. Hope they invite him to family events too X)

[Reborn SWK/Smokey is the most furious since he has a whole complex over not having parents.]

I wanna write something funny, but all I can make up is the image of Reborn Nuwa shoving as much money and stuff as possible as Hush Money so that their connection stays a secret. I feel like that would make Smokey super-duper mad.

[Plum, realising that he probably shouldn't have said that: "The... the supreme goddess of the moon?" (o_o;) Other LEMs: "THE WHO?!?"]

Plum, poking head into the room with the SWKs: Sorry about that, but I think I broke your partners.

Damn, so Mac's also royalty! Although, how well known was that if he worked as PIFs attendant in the Celestial Realm?

...now I am curious how Babs and Gibs came to be...what's their lineage? And do they know of it?

[Different SWKs reactions ahoy!]

Hmm...how do the LEM's (and rest of the Pilgrims if they are around) feel about Luzhen? He has to quite literally rock their world with the revelations.

[He's used to sudden children by now.]

Peach, hearing Dasheng's footsteps in the house: Hey, bud, what's ahhh... *Sees that Dasheng has 10 kids, all hanging from his limbs...* Umm...

Dasheng: I walked by an orphanage...

Peach: Wow, your dad vibes are over 9000, huh?

Dasheng: What does that even mean?!

[heck yeah, I'm dad, not our neglectful creators.]

I am picturing Dasheng looking at either of the gods in question and going, "Oh look at that, the deadbeats are here. Have you brought the child support or do I have to boot you off my mountain again?"

[it's not his fault another him got made! And whats more he's furious at their creators for "allowing" another Stone Monkey to be born to face the same crisis/trials he did.]

You know, I once read that we grow up to be the person our younger selves would have felt the safest with. Paraphrased a bit, but the idea is there. They are two different people, but, maybe he can help heal his inner child in this way.

[His cub now, their creators can screw off!]

I have this image: One of the parents in question coming in hot to claim parental rights or something, only for Cherry, handling his Luzhen off to somebody to keep safe, to launch an attack so brutal and bloody Buddha took one look at the carnage and noped out of there, going like "Not even I am willing to fuck with that. Nope."

[They do have a little brain itch of what this could mean for them tho.]

Not the brain itch you or Shihou were having, but mine is itching with the question of...how would SWK and/or LEM handle a child with cognitive disabilities - like serious ones at that?

[Meanwhile Mac is just like; "He's a toddler. They all want to fight heaven."]

Well, he's not wrong. I am told as a small child I advocated for burning the government whenever the adults complained about something relating to politics. I was quite the anarchist.

[albeit one thats technically his uncle(?) he's not gonna worry about that part.]

I did one read a book where the middle-school-aged-MC had a two-year-old Baby Aunt. I also thought it was odd - but also one hell of a way to find out your parents/grandparents are still getting it on.

Gonna have to be my replies under Read more soon cus gotdang you really give me a lot to talk about! /positive :D

[Goodness, that guy has to earn a LOT of overtime to deal with SWKs and the fams nonsense. Hope they invite him to family events too X)]

SWK's lawyer def gets a yearly holiday card, and invites to family events. He's practically family after the first couple of scandals.

[I wanna write something funny, but all I can make up is the image of Reborn Nuwa shoving as much money and stuff as possible as Hush Money so that their connection stays a secret. I feel like that would make Smokey super-duper mad.]

F in chat to poor Smokey; who wanted a meaningful relationship/an apology from his creators and now only has worthless hush money, and a small son/brother(?) to take care of.

[Damn, so Mac's also royalty! Although, how well known was that if he worked as PIFs attendant in the Celestial Realm?]

The Celestial Realm recognised LMK!Mac as *belonging* to the supreme Mood Deity, but were unsure exactly how. He's a monkey after all, and Taiying is human (they think). Maybe he's her pet? Alchemy experiment gone wrong? Either way, he was a calming influence on the young and frustrated Princess Tieshan, so he was at least treated with the same respect as a lady-in-waiting - although not as much as humanoid celestial would be.

If the Celestial Realm knew the Six Eared Macaque was the child of the Supreme Moon Deity, then he might have had some weight to throw around the court - if Lady Taiying recognised him as such. Otherwise its another aspect they would have mocked him for - whats more to them than another illegitimate noble?

Also; Plum accidentally breaking all the other LEMs cus he didn't realise that they didn't know about their origins. XD

[…now I am curious how Babs and Gibs came to be…what's their lineage? And do they know of it?]

Odds are those two were created by separate star entities long before the modern earth even existed. Earth is were they spent their teenage/college years essentially before they retired to space. If they know of their origins, they don't care much.

Rest of replies under Read More!

[Hmm…how do the LEM's (and rest of the Pilgrims if they are around) feel about Luzhen?]

Most of the LEMs are shocked silent for the most part.

Plum/LMK!Mac: in particular a little annoyed but adoring that a tiny copy of Wukong has been dropped onto his lap. But hey, free baby is free baby. Will kill anything that dares to inflict any of SWK's trauma onto Luzhen.

Zhanshi/HiB!LEM: immediately goes full mom-mode on the infant monkey. Little guy needs a stable home after all! Hunting down his primordial in-laws for answers can wait... for now.

Liang/Reborn!LEM: is a little faster to accept Luzhen as their responsibility than Smokey, and helps to be the "softer" parent of the two. They def agree that the gods can screw off tho.

Olive/Netflix!LEM: is initially so freaked out that they don't want anything to do with Luzhen. But the moment the little guy reaches out for a hug... who is Olive to deny him? A bit colder, but is warming up fast. Is the one who holds Luzhen while Cherry fights the gods - like the infamous "Get his ass baby, I got your flower" except flower is baby.

Joker/NewGods!LEM: is already bouncing the kid on his knee. Its a shock but hey, its like how they got their MK. Little guy is stinking adorable too. Is also very mad at the gods for being so irresponsible. Probably gets really defensive when people ask if him and Ace are Luzhen's grandparents tho.

Spice/2000s!LEM: is scared. So very scared. Mostly out of worry. He's just coming to terms with his own creation/identity, and now there's a bonus Wukong?! What if the gods take Luzhen away!? He needs to sit down a bit. Takes him a while to see Luzhen as more than a extension of SWK, afterwards its more mentor and tudi vibes.

Meihouwang Mihou: is... still in shock. He reacted badly enough to Shihou's arrival, and now an entire infant version of Shihou needs food and parents to take care of him. Its overwhelming. And then Shihou approaches him for advice? On how to raise Luzhen? Oh gosh, maybe this was a sign from the gods. His ears are flooded with the sounds of wedding bells and laughing infants. This oz his and Shihou's baby now. Still asks the Elder monkeys for help tho, since he barely knows what to do more than Shihou does.

Lilac/Smash!LEM: is hesistant to get close. They feel that they can't just drop everything to raise a whole kid, not with their career quicky on the rise. Their Wukong is such a good caretaker tho, and Lilac feels a little guilty when they can't join in on family time. Def dedicates a song about "little falling stars" to Luzhen, and has frequent video calls when he's away. Vows to spoil the kid anytime they're together to make up for any time lost.

The other pilgrims are having bluescreen errors every time they try thinking about the ramifictions of multiple earth/creation gods pulling up to drop lore like that.

The Tripitakas are torn between "Oh its a blessing!" and "Oh sweet Buddha, theres two of them now." HiB!Liuer has already claimed his Luzhen as his little brother/fellow tudi.

You know the Zhu Bajie's are laughing their butts off once the shock wears off. Lots of child support jokes. Declares themselves the different Luzhens' uncles.

Sha Wujing is a little more... unsettled. Why did a bunch of gods just show up- oh sweet buddha they're Older Brother Sun's creators?! And theres' a little Sun now!? Reborn!SWJ def has a small breathing-into-a-paper-bag anixety attack. Afterwards though they feel a greater kinship, with their Luzhens and SWKs. After all, they feel "discarded" by the gods also.

[I am picturing Dasheng looking at either of the gods in question and going, "Oh look at that, the deadbeats are here. Have you brought the child support or do I have to boot you off my mountain again?"]

The idea of Dasheng looking the earth gods in the eye and calling them "deadbeats" is the most perfectly in-character thing for him ever. I love it.

[You know, I once read that we grow up to be the person our younger selves would have felt the safest with. Paraphrased a bit, but the idea is there. They are two different people, but, maybe he can help heal his inner child in this way.]

That is literally the most sweetest and heartbreaking thing. Smokey considers himself "broken", but Luzhen as "still good enough" to help. By being a good protector and influence, he secretly hopes to heal the scared child he once was. :']

Meanwhile, Netflix!SWK/Cherry is fighting any gods that dare threaten to take his mini-me away.

[how would SWK and/or LEM handle a child with cognitive disabilities - like serious ones at that?]

Honestly? Pretty ok. They know that people can be born "different" and have different hurdles to overcome. In the wild, macaques are known to pay extra attention to troop members with disabilities, and treat them kindly.

I hc MK as having adhd, which really affects his attention and short term memory, so Shadowpeach have been working with that for a long time. Wukong and Macaque themselves are very autistic-coded (which makes my autistic butt very happy), and would have a lot of insight to how the kid might be feeling.

If one of their kids has another serious cognitive impairment, like being non-verbal, they'll find a way to adapt to it. SWK 100% has learned both forms of CSL over the years, and does a refresher in prep for MK's arrival. Helps a lot when the more monkey-ish side of the kids means that they don't verbalize for a long time compared to human kids.

[one hell of a way to find out your parents/grandparents are still getting it on.]

MK had that crisis at age 19 when the Lunar Nodelets were on the way. Like when he found out it was at a high-stress moment so he barely had time ot process it; "We had just saved the world from the Lady Bone Demon and you two were...?! Ugh! I need to wash my brain out."

Nezha had a more firey reaction when he learned of the Eclipse Twins years prior. He didn't even know the monkeys did that stuff. He was uber-grossed out in an almost cooties sort of way, but also in a "please for the love of buddha, don't fill the celestial realm with your spawn"-kind of way.

Tysm for sending so many cool questions in! You really rock my create brain <3

[mavrellover91]

Babies with Seb: Part one

Hey, guys sorry I have been MIA for wow months but life literally turned to shit and I have had to find my creativity again. I hope you enjoy my new series.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Female reader

Warning: Agnst, fluff.  Smut flashback:  P in V, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, guys). Dirty talk.     

Word count: 3806 (I may have gotton carried away) 

A/N: I give no permission for my work to be copied, translated and or posted anywhere else online.

Oh God, why, oh why did he have to be running in the park this morning? All I wanted was to go for a quick walk in Central Park before it got too hot in the summer sun, but I should have known that with my luck that he would be here. I just stand there as his steel blue eyes move down my body and land on my stomach. Fucking Sebastian Stan is staring at my huge pregnant stomach, thanks to the twins I am currently carrying. After staring at my belly for what seems like forever his eyes flick up to mine with so many questions in them. Fuck why does he have to look so fucking good all sweaty from his run? It has been almost four and a half months since we last saw each other after a night of hot drunk sex that changed my life.                      

 “Y/n…Umm hi”

“Hi Sebastian”

“Is it….” He stops himself from asking the question that he really wants to know as his eyes flick around our surroundings remembering that we are in a public park.

“Do you want to come back to my place?” I offer as I can see that he is uncomfortable about talking about this in the park. “Umm yeah sure, give me a minute” he tells me before running off to a group guys standing off to the side watching us. Fuck, great Don Saladino and their friends are watching us. This just adds another level to this nightmare. I’m not sure why I am so embarrassed by this whole situation I mean I did try to contact Sebastian when I found out I was pregnant but my only opinion was to DM him on Instagram, which I knew wasn’t the best way of contacting him but he didn’t leave me with no other choice. I mean was a drunk one-night stand and I knew that going in. I was lost in my head I did not even notice that Sebastian had run back to me until he was in front of me “lead the way” he tells me as he sweeps his arm in front of me. We start walking back to the closest opening of the park.

 I fight the urge to look around us, to see if anyone is watching us. As we reach the road my luck seems to change as a taxi pulls up and lets a couple out, Sebastian walks ahead and catches the driver's attention before he could pull away. Sebastian holds the door open as I slide in. After climbing in himself I give the driver my address and he takes off. We sit in uncomfortable silence as the driver weaves his way through traffic to get to my place. The driver tried to break the awkwardness by asking how far along I am and went I say four and a half months I feel Sebastian shift in his seat. The driver not understanding how awkward the two of us are being goes on about his wife’s pregnancy. I thank God went we put up to my apartment. Sebastian pulls out his wallet and pays the driver, before opening the door once he gets out, he holds out his hand to help me out. We walk into my building and the elevator. Once we are in my apartment, we just stand there looking at each other waiting for the other one to start talking. “Is it mine?” he asks.

 Wow, I want to get mad at him for asking, even though I knew the question was coming, did he really think that I was that big of a slut that I would jump from one guy to another in a short amount of time? God, I remember telling him that I do not normally do this type of thing. God, I hate one-night stands, just the thought of them leaves me feeling gross. “Yes, they are yours,” I tell him in a tight voice trying hard not to let my emotions get the best of me. “They?” he asks, “twins” I reply. I watch his face as he realises that he is not only going to have one baby with a stranger but two. As if his legs give out on him, he sits down on my couch, the same couch these babies could have been conceived on. God just thinking about it makes me wet stupid pregnancy hormones.

 Remembering how we could keep our hands off each other in the Uber back to mine from the bar, how after closing my front door he pushed me up against it attacking my lips as if he wanted to devour me. I remember how I placed my hands on his chest pushing him back until the back of his legs hit the couch, before giving him one last kiss and pushing him back so that he falls onto the couch. Then standing in between his legs I grabbed the bottom of my dress and pulled it up over my head, letting it fall to the ground leaving me in just my panties. His hands then move to my hips pulling me onto his lap. As I straddled his thighs, I start started rubbing my hot wet core against his hard cock through the layer of our clothes, as his mouth reclaimed mine. I then reached between our bodies, pulled his shirt off and ran my hands over his abs to his pants. Undo them and slide my hand between his body and the waistband of his boxers to wrap my hand around his thick length.

  I remember him moaning into my mouth as I pulled his cock out and started pumping my hand up and down the length of his cock. As his hands roamed over my body down my stomach to my pussy. Pushing my panties to one side he moved me closer to his body. Holding his cock in my hand I moved it up and down my slit collecting my juices before guiding it to my hole. We moaned into each other’s mouths as I slid down his cock until he filled and stretched my pussy. I remembered how I bounced up and down his length as he rubbed my clit. I remember him whispering in my ear how good my pussy felt around his cock, how I was his good girl, how I was his dirty little slut and how he was going to fuck me until I milked him dry. I remember him moaning that he was close and for me to be his good girl and cream on his cock and how as if I were waiting for his permission, I came so hard as he bucked up into me and painted my walls with his cum.

 Shaking my head to get rid of the memories of us together, I walked over to the fridge and grab the ultrasound I had done last week. While at the fridge I grab myself a bottle of water “would you like something to drink” I asked Sebastian. He brought his head up a looked at me for the first time since he sat down, making me wonder if he was also reliving what happened that night. Looking at the bottle of water in my hand he replied, “water would be lovely, thank you.” Grabbing another bottle, I walked back to the couch and sat down next to him placing both the water bottle and the ultrasound photos down in front of him. Sebastian reached for the ultrasound and picked it up looking at them. “How far along are you,” he asked quietly not taking his eyes off the pictures of our children. Swallowing the lump of emotions swelling up inside my chest as a watched staring at the photos “18 weeks and 4 days”. He then looks into my eyes and then down at my bump with longing in his eyes. I grab his hand and place it on my stomach where one of the babies was kicking. His eyes widened and then start to water as he feels the little feet press against my skin. “Wow, that’s amazing.”

 We stay like this for a good 10 minutes laughing and smiling at each other as I move his hand around my stomach as the babies kick. “I must ask...” he says shyly as if he doesn’t want to ruin the moment and risk me being mad “why didn’t you try and contact me?” Moving away from him trying hard not to get mad “I did, I DMed you through Instagram as you didn’t leave a number or anything” I reply. I watch his face as he works through all his emotions. “I do not go on Instagram often and I do not read any of the DMs. Fuck Y/n I am sorry I left the way I did. I should have given you my number I mean we had unprotected sex three times that night” “four” “what?” “We had unprotected sex four times. Once on the couch, twice in my bed and then in the shower,” I tell him. He stares at me and smiles as he remembers that night “your right four times” he starts to laugh. “God that was the best night of my life, I lost count of how many times I came inside you.” “The best night of your life?” I ask in a small shy voice “Yes, baby! The best night of my life and could not stop thinking about you. Hoping we would run into each other again. I even went back to the bar the following weekend hoping that you would be there. God, I wish I had gotten your number. I could have been there from the start instead of missing four months of your pregnancy” I just stare at him not sure what to say or do.

  Tears start rolling down my cheeks “oh baby, please don’t cry” he tells me as he wraps me in his arms bring a hand up to my face wiping the tears off my cheeks “if you will let me, I want to be part of your and our children’s lives. I want to hold your hand at your appointments, I want to help build and decorate the nursery. I want to watch our children come into this world. I want to hold you as you sleep, and most importantly I want to protect all three of you from the horrors of the world.” After he stops talking all I can do is stare at him not sure what to say. I want to jump into his lap, let him hold me and let him be there for me and our children but I am scared to let him in only for him to realise that we are more than he bargained for and then leave me to be a single parent. “Can we take it slow? I mean not too slow?” I say as a wave my hand around my stomach. “I need time and I need you to show me that will stick around and that you not just saying these things in the heat of the moment. You just found out that you are not only going to be a father but a father of twins. You need time to wrap your head around that” I can see in his eyes that he wants to argue but I stop him by saying “I have my 20-week scan in two weeks. Take these two weeks to think about what you want and if that is us come to my appointment and we can figure it out from there.”

  I slide my phone out of my pocket, unlock it, and place it in his hand “put your number in here and I will text you with the details of the appointment” I watch as he puts his number in my phone and then texts himself. “I know you think you want us now but please do take this time to think about what it is that you want. Having children is life-changing, I took time to think about if being a parent is what I wanted, and you also need time as well.” I get up and walk to the door, he also gets up and follows me “I will take the time you think I need and think about everything but know this I will be at that scan, and I will be by your side” he says as he pulls me into his arms and kisses my forehead. As I close the door behind him, I really do hope he means what he said. I text him the appointment details and hope he will show up. He replies see you on the 10th beautiful. Sighing I cannot help but wonder if I just fucked up my only chance of having a family for my children. “I really hope daddy is going to show up,” I tell my children as I rub my hands over my bump.

 Two weeks later I am sitting in the waiting room at my doctor's clinic watching the door hoping Sebastian walks through those doors and is ready to be a father. We texted on and off the last couple of weeks with him checking up on me and the twins. We talked about work and how I was handling working as a PreK teacher. We talked about our families, and how I was handling being so far away from them. It seemed like he did care about me and did want to be part of my life. As the minute until my appointment ticked by, I became increasingly worried that he was not going to show up and that I would once again be doing this all by myself. As the nurse called my name and get up and walk over to her, the front doors burst open and Sebastian runs up to me “I am so sorry I am late, my meeting ran late and then I was stuck in traffic. Please tell me I did not miss it?”

  I stare at him with a big smile on my face pulling him into my arms, telling him “No Seb you are right on time.” The nurse looks a little shocked at who is standing in front of her rubbing his hands over my belly and arms. Pulling herself together she directs us to an exam room where she weights me, takes my blood, asks for a urine sample, and tells us to wait for the doctor. After peeing in the cup and leaving it on the little shelf in the bathroom. I sit down next to Sebastian and just look at him. He is here, he is here sitting next to me as we wait to see our babies. Tears start rolling down my face “Oh y/n baby please do not cry. I cannot stand to see you cry” he tells me as he wraps me up in his arms “their happy tears Seb, I am so happy that you are here. I thought that you decided that you did not want us when you were not here before the appointment” I cry into his shirt leaving tear strains on the front of it.

 “Oh, baby there is nowhere else I would rather be than here with you. I am sorry I could not be here earlier like I wanted to be, but this morning was a shit show meeting with my management team and a director for this new project that we have been trying off the ground” he starts rambling on nervously. “It’s ok you are here now and that is all that matters,” I tell him as I lean into him placing my hand on his cheek. Turning his face and pressing his lips into my palm “wild horses couldn’t keep me away.” He places one of his hands on my neck and the other behind my head bringing his lips to mine as he kisses me lightly as if the check my reaction just as I open my lips to deepen the kiss the door opens as the doctor walks in “oh so sorry I did knock and through I heard you say yes” she says looking a little bit flustered. She did hear me say yes but not to her but to Sebastian’s lips being on mine.

 Pushing aside any embarrassment we were feeling Doctor St James introduced herself to Sebastian “Hi I am Doctor St James, and you must be the dad. Nice to meet you” looking proud Sebastian replies “Yes, I am dad, Sebastian Stan. Nice to meet you too” Doctor St James looked at me probably remembering how I told her that the father was not in the picture but being the professional that she is, she pushed that to the side and starts asking all the normal questions. “So, Y/n how have you been feeling? Do you still have any morning sickness? No pain or discomfort? No more bleeding?” At the bleeding comment, Sebastian looks at me worried. “No more bleeding since that time when I first found out I was having twins at 8 weeks,” I tell them reassuring Sebastian that everything is fine “I am still a little nauseous in the mornings but no vomiting for the last two weeks. Here is hoping it stays that way, I really hate vomiting. A little bit of discomfort in my hips and ribs but I am guessing that is because the babies are growing putting pressure on them.” As I answer all her questions I grab Sebastian’s hand and give it a little squeeze reassuring him that we are ok.

  “That is great to hear about the bleeding. If it does happen again, please do not hesitate to call me. I am sorry to say that with twins the vomiting and nausea does stay around a bit longer than a singleton pregnancy due to extra hormones but hopefully you are on the other side of the morning sickness. As for the discomfort in your hips and ribs, you are right about the babies putting pressure on them. The discomfort in your hips could also be from your pelvis starting to move getting ready for you to give birth.” She asks me some more questions and then asks if we had any questions. To which I look at Sebastian and then ask “I have a question about sex” Sebastian quickly turns and looks at me slightly embarrassed.

 Doctor St James smiles at me “what’s your question Y/n?” “Those are silly questions but is it safe to be having sex? Can sex hurt the babies? When having sex should we be using protection?” Doctor St James smiles at us “let me start off with there are no silly questions Y/n. Ok, it is safe for you to have sex as long as you are comfortable and have no pain however when you get into the later stages of your pregnancy there will come a time when I advise you to stop having sex to avoid going into preterm labour but as you get to that point I will let you know. Sex will not hurt the babies as the penis can not get passed the cervix. As protection, I recommend that my mother’s use it if they are having sex with more than one person or there is a chance of STIs. I hope that answers any of your questions. Please remember if have any more later do not hesitate to contact us. Ok, are we ready to see our babies? Are we finding out the sex of the babies today?” “Yes,” Sebastian and I answer at the same time.

 We look at each other and smile. Hopping up onto the exam table and lifting my top over my belly, the doctor quickly takes measurements and pushes on my stomach. “Ok let us get to the fun stuff and have a look at these babies of yours,” Doctor St James tells us as she moves the ultrasound machine closer to the table “all right Y/n you know the drill this might be cold,” she tells me as she pours the gel onto my stomach “yup that’s cold” I laugh. Hold out my hand for Sebastian who brings his chair closer to the table and takes my hand. “Ok, here’s baby A” Doctor St James tells us as she pushed buttons on the machine and the most magical sound in the world fills the room, the sound of one of our babies’ heartbeat. She moves the wand around taking measurements and pictures as we watch the screen. I turn my head and look at Sebastian who cannot take his eyes off the screen, watching the baby on the screen with tears pouring down his cheeks. After a couple of minutes, Doctor St James moves the wand around to find the second baby. “There you are” she exclaims when she finds baby B “baby B wanted to play hide and seek today” she laughed at her joke. Once again, the heartbeat fills the room making Sebastian and I give each other watery smiles.

 After she finished taking all the measurements and photos, she needs she then turns to us “are you guys ready to find out what you are having?”  “Yes” I exclaim “Ok baby A is a boy and baby B is a girl, congratulations you're going to have one of each” the doctor leaves us to have a moment to ourselves tell us that she will have pictures printed off for us when we are ready. As I wipe the gel off my belly and pull down my top, I have tears running down my face. Once my top is in place Sebastian helps me to sit up and pulls me into his arms and kisses me “God Y/n that was unbelievable hearing our babies’ heartbeats was magical. I can not thank you enough for this beautiful gift and I cannot wait to meet them. God a little girl who is going to look just like her mama” “and a little boy who is as handsome as his daddy” I finish for him. “Let’s get out of here and back to your place so we can talk and celebrate,” Sebastian tells me as he holds out his hand and opens the door.

 “Let’s go home,” I tell him I take his hand and let him lead me out to the front deck where we get our ultrasound photos and head out to his car. As I used Uber to get to the appointment I hop in the front seat of his car and we head back to my place, hopefully, soon we will have a place together to call home.

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - twenty-two | leroyyyyy jenkins!

“Where the hell are we going?”

“Umm…” you trailed off. “I don’t know.”

Keeho hummed. “I… I don’t see you.”

“I’m by this like… gate thing?”

“‘Gate thing’?”

“Yeah. A thing that sort of looks like a gate.”

Yeji laughed.

“Why is that funny?”

“I think I know where you are.” Yeji said.

“Where is she?” Keeho asked.

“Literally on the other side of the map.”

“You’re kidding.” Keeho’s silence afterwards meant he had the map open and was looking for your icon. “Oh my god. Cat, how did you get over there so fast?”

“I just followed the road.”

Yeji laughed again.

“Why are you laughing?” You asked, agitated.

“Because you must have clipped or something. There’s no way you could have made it over there so fast.” You sighed.

QuackIsWhack✅: Speedy cat 🗻of Namhae✅: Gotta go fast LuciPURR: Fastcat YangYangGangGang: GOTTA GO FAST TheNicestGuy: Beautiful and talented A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Hey! Only I can say that! JohnnyYuta: And me! A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Yeah, and Yuta! JohnnyYuta: BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED TheNicestGuy: Shrimp QuackIsWhack✅: Be nice, NicestGuy JohnnyYuta: Shrimply the best, I think you mean A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Yeah 😌😌😌 JohnnyYuta: Better than allll the rest~~ A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Beautiful and talenteddd~~ TheNicestGuy: 🙄

You laughed at your chat and gasped when you looked back at the screen and hid.

“What was that?” Keeho asked.

“I think someone from the other team just went by.”

Yeji gasped. “You see them?”

“Yeah. Oh my god, I think I can see their camp from here.”

“Whaaaaat?” Yeji asked. You opened your map and you could see she was running towards you. 

Keeho was too but from a different direction. “Goddamnit.”

“Should I do something?”

“No, stay right there,” Keeho replied.

You sighed and looked back at your chat.

LuciPURR: Oh god, telling her to wait? LeaBea: HOW long has Keeho known her? QuackIsWhack✅: Doesn’t he know she has no patience?

“Hey, chat, I have patience.”

“You’re actually waiting?” Yeji asked.

“...Yeah. You guys are so far away though.”

“Don’t move.” Keeho ordered.

“Humpf!”

“And don’t pout at me.”

You sighed again.

🗻of Namhae✅: She’s pouting 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Of course I’m pouting, I’m being ordered around like a childdddd YangYangGangGang: Cat in the chat, woahhhhhh! 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Woahhhhhhhh JohnnyYuta: You can’t let him talk to you like that 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: I can’t run in blindly either A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: I mean, you totally can 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: I totally could 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: But I also don’t want to fuck up the game lol JohnnyYuta: You could totally fuck up the game A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: You should fuck up the game 😈😈😈 JohnnyYuta: 😈😈😈 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Omg you guys are the WORST A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Lol 🗻of Namhae✅: Instead of an angel and a devil, it’s just two devils 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Lolol you’re rightttt 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Get off my shoulders you little shits A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: We’re holding onto you like Shadow of the Colossus JohnnyYuta: I’m slicing you like Attack on Titan 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Oh my GOD

You opened the map on your screen to check where they were and went back to the chat.

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: I'll wait until they get here, then I’ll go A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Awwww JohnnyYuta: Sow chaos A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Sow the seeeeeeds 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: I’m not a gardener 🗻of Namhae✅: Lol YangYangGangGang: Get a trowel! SleepySheepy😴: Get a hoe MinHoe: Someone called for me? 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: LOL

“Are you okay, Cat? You’re really quiet.” Yeji asked.

“I’m just waiting for you guys, I have nothing to do.”

“You’re actually waiting?” Keeho asked.

You could see both of them, running as fast as they could across the map to get to you. 

“Yeah, you told me to wait.”

“I didn’t think you’d listen.”

“Wow, rude. You want me to call your mom again?”

Keeho groaned loudly.

“Do it!” Yeji laughed. “I missed it last time. I love Keeho’s mom.”

You chuckled.

JohnnyYuta: Do it! A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Do it! LeaBea: We love Mrs. Yoon! QuackIsWhack✅: She should debut QuackIsWhack✅: Put her son to shame 🗻of Namhae✅: Lol YangYangGangGang: Call her! MinHoe: Call the woman! LuciPURR: I

You laughed.

“What are you laughing at?” Yeji asked.

“My chat really wants me to call Keeho’s mom.”

She laughed. “You should.”

Keeho groaned.

You laughed. “He hasn’t done anything yet… except made unhappy noises at the idea.”

You continued to wait as they continued to run in your direction. Finally, Yeji was getting closer and you’d be able to see her if you peeked out of your hiding spot. You peeked, and heard bullets whizz past you.

“Oh my god!” 

“What?” 

“They saw me!”

“What?”

“Fuck it!”

You ran towards the enemy team, shooting all the while, running serpentine and ducking behind objects, and just as you were downed and though you were about to die, Yeji ran up and killed the person who was shooting you and picked you up.

Keeho ran up to join you. “You really couldn’t wait, huh?”

“Hey, I waited. My hand was forced.”

“Oh my god.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me: Leroyyyyy Jenkins!” You led the charge into the enemy team’s hideout, shooting all the way.

“Cat! Oh my god!” Yeji yelled and ran after you.

“Your armor is too low to be in front!” Keeho yelled after you as he followed.

You ducked behind a bombed out wall and crouched as you peeked out and shot at as many of the other team members you could. Maybe the three of you were idiots for only playing with three members, but Mick and Bracken were out today and Ryujin had to do overtime at work and the three of you wanted to play anyway. It wasn’t until you saw that they had a car and what looked like a grenade launcher that it occurred to you that your team score might go down very soon.

“Uh, guys? I think they have--”

You ducked just as the rocket went whizzing past your head.

Yeji and Keeho ducked behind you just in time.

“Fuck! You ruined our element of surprise.”

“Im-a da pope, and I absolve myself of this sin.”

“...what?” Keeho asked.

Yeji laughed.

“It’s-- it’s from a movie. Stay here!”

“Cat--!” Keeho whisper-yelled.

You used the smoke from the rocket as a screen and ran behind another building and watched for a moment as some of the opposing team moved towards the wall Keeho and Yeji were behind. You ran around the building as fast as you could and, now that you were behind the group, threw a grenade into the middle of them and got off as many headshots as you could.

With the group in disarray over the grenade’s explosion, Keeho and Yeji jumped from their hiding spot and assailed the group from their side. As the last member fell, so did you. Yeji ran over to pick you up again.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, we should see if they have some healing kits I can use.”

“What is your problem?” Keeho bellowed.

You spun around and looked at his character for a second before you started jumping. “We won, didn’t we?”

He sighed. “I thought you were going to get killed, and then Yeji and I would get killed.”

“Nah nah nah, I had a plan.”

“You didn’t have a plan, you just ran in.”

“It was a Running In kind of plan. I figured it out as I went along. It’s fine”

Keeho sighed again. “It’s such a good thing you never joined the military or something, you’d get court-martialed for being disobedient.”

“I’d be the biggest headache in the place.” You laughed as you searched the other team’s bodies.

Yeji laughed. “They’d just throw you at the enemy and hope for the best.”

You chuckled. “They wouldn’t even be able to have a war, I’d be so annoying-- Got it!” and healed yourself. “Okay, who wants to find the next group to fuck up?”

   previous | main cast | masterlist | next

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋