"I'm sorry for disappointing you"… This little sentence just ruins me every time. It's so heartbreaking. Because at this point, Lucy isn't even angry. She's simply resigned. She expected it, just like now she is expecting Tim to be disappointed in her.
And how many times have we heard her utter this exact sentiment over the years? "I'm really sorry if I let you down" (to Andersen in 1.10), "you should have seen Sergeant Grey's face. It was utter disappointment" (to Nolan in 1.14), "I know you're disappointed in me" (to her dad in 1.17), "I kinda hoped that he would be proud of me" (3.06), "If you're done expressing your disappointment, I would -- I would like some space, please" (to her mom, in 3.10), "I won't let you down" (to Grey, in 3.13), "My whole life, nothing I have ever done has been good enough for my mom -- not -- not my grades, my boyfriends… my career" (in 4.14)…
And that makes Tim's answer that much more heartwarming. "You could never disappoint me." With the notable exception of her parents, every time she has expressed that sentiment, she was being told that it wasn't the case, that she wasn't letting anyone down. But she never fully believed it. Her self-worth is directly connected to making other people proud of her. And that's not sustainable in the long term.
Hearing those words from Tim — someone who means everything to her, who is her safe space — is so important… Just like having his unwavering faith, his unconditional support and love is…
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It's the fact that Lucy was the one fighting for their relationship no matter what, despite never being able to commit to any of her ex-boyfriends, while Tim was the one who walked away from her, when he used to stay in relationships despite them not working, that makes this so incredibly painful for me.
Lucy was all-in. She took the risk of losing the most important relationship in her life. She gambled her career for him. When she found out he had problems with her doing undercover work, she simply told him they were going to get through it. Even after being kept in the dark and spending days without knowing if he was alive, her first instinct in the parking lot was still trying to help him and comfort him.
There's only so many times you can watch your partner walk away before there's no coming back. Before it completely shatters your trust in them. Because that's the issue here : it's not the first time he does that to her. Don't get me wrong, he definitely had his reasons each time and they were noble. Misguided, but noble. And he is without a doubt not in the right mindset at the present. He's punishing himself, feeling worthless of her love. But the pain inflicted to her is the same.
It's no wonder that Lucy is crushed and believes it was easy for him to give up. We know it wasn't like that at all. But why would she think any different at this point? It's easy to say that your relationship is worth the risk but if you keep walking away when it gets tough, then those words become meaningless. And I really hope that this is going to be addressed during Tim's journey so that he can break that pattern. Lucy deserves that much. And so does he.
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What is Love?
Picking Yuuji up from school was not a rare occurrence. On the other hand, picking Yuuji up from school while accompanied by Sukuna was a rare occurrence.
Kids are flocking to you like birds, asking if you were Yuuji's mom, and who that creepy man next to you was — this all reminded said creepy man about why this was a rare occurrence, and how it should stay one.
The final straw for Sukuna snaps when a little boy, probably around Yuuji's age, approaches you with his hands behind his back. "Hi, you are very pretty. Can I be your boyfriend?"
You looked a bit taken aback, before remembering this was a kid talking to you, and kids could be quite . . . odd. "Um, thank you! You are very sweet, but, I already have a boyfriend."
Sukuna smirks to himself, a smug expression painted on his face.
"That's okay. I have two girlfriends; you can have two boyfriends," the kid giggled. "He doesn't have to know."
At this, Sukuna glares at the little boy, fully prepared and ready to beat him up, but he halted, as you placed a coaxing hand on his arm.
"Umm—"
"Here!" The boy shoved a daffodil into your hands, it was covered in dirt and had a few missing pedals.
"Oh! This is—"
"I picked it up from over there," he pointed a little finger across the school. "It's pretty. And you're pretty. So it's for you! Hehe, pretty flower for pretty lady."
Just then, Yuuji came running out of the school's doors — backpack aggressively shaking and threatening to fall off of his little arms — and into your arms, well . . . legs actually. But he demanded to be in your arms.
"Up! Up!"
"Okay, Yuuji." You hoisted him up and he immediately went to bury his face into your neck, calming down from his hyper-ness when he breathed in your perfume.
"How was school, baby?"
"It was so fun! I missed you though." You felt Yuuji frown in your neck.
"Aww, well I'm here now. Let's go home, kay? Then we can make up for the time you missed me, how about that?" You rubbed Yuuji's back.
"Okay!"
Unfortunately for the other boy that was still staring up at you — and now Yuuji, too — he was long forgotten by you. Your full attention now on Yuuji.
When the pink-haired kid is finally in the car, after wrestling to not be strapped down by the seatbelt, he immediately goes to working on an assignment. Strange, you thought, looking back at him through the rear-view mirror. Yuuji hates homework.
This continues when you three get back to the apartment. Yuuji immediately slips off his shoes and takes off to his bedroom, assignment and pencil pouch in hand.
You turn to looked at Sukuna, "I thought he wanted to play first?"
Sukuna shrugged, not knowing what his brother was up to, "He's a weirdo, you know that."
You frowned, "I'm bored."
"I know a way to pass the time."
An hour later, you exit your shared bedroom — planning to start on dinner — just to find notes and drawings all over the apartment. On the floor, in the potted plants, on the coffee table, shoved in crevices on the couch, everywhere.
Picking up a few piece of paper, you find yourself reading:
"Deer Y/N,
You are so nise to me.
You are very good at macking food.
I love you!"
"You are so amazing!"
"I love you so mutch!"
"Y/N is good and nise and prety."
Some drawings even depicted you and Yuuji holding hands.
While eating dinner, you decided to question a very smiley and giggling Yuuji, to find out that he had an assignment to show his appreciation to someone he loved.
Most of the notes were only directed to you, but some of the drawings had Sukuna too. The rest of the evening, Yuuji spent telling you and Sukuna how much he loved you guys. Quietly, and going unnoticed by Yuuji and you, Sukuna reciprocated his brother's affection.
A/N: loosely based on this ask — this was supposed to be wayyyy shorter, but i got a bit carried away
Taglist: @starlets-things @sad-darksoul @mochimoee @r0ckst4rjk @lillycore @deepchromatose @yinyinyinyinyinyin @fivehoneyharg @desihopelessromantic @lich1 @hannas16 @acroso
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