#Look look I still lay awake in my bed thinking about Phil saying 'Forever. I know you would've never agreed to that if it wasn't for a-

[kanene-yaaay]

Secrets and the Pros and Cons of Not Running Away

Kanene's notes: I will receive no constructive criticism on this, I saw a character that just keeps being destroyed over and over because he loves and cares too much and since mah bros on that island only SUFFER, I *WILL* take the matters onto my own hands and give them all the tickles and fluff thank you so much for understanding.

Anyway, the Happy Pills Arc is my absolute fave until now, and this animatic is my new obsession. It doesn't has anything to do with the fic, really, but I think it deserves more love drtyuiklkjhg.

Warnings: This is a tickle fanfic. It has hurt/comfort, fluff and some angsty thoughts, but nothing too dark. It happens after the Happy Pills stuff and doesn't follow the canon timeline. Ticklish!Forever and Ler!Philza, Ler!Bad, Ler!Pac, Ler!Mike, Ler!Richarlyson, Ler!Tallulah and Ler!Chayanne. It is 8,000 words long.

[~*~]

Forever woke up. 

His eyes hurt when they opened so he kept them closed for a few minutes more, watching the flash of memories run behind his eyelids in blurry movements and sounds. 

For the first time in a while his mind was silent, clear from all the effects of what the Federation did to him. His feelings no longer exploded crazy in his chest as they often did during the last few days, fighting to survive before the chemicals from the drugs washed them over and got suppressed by a blinding, fake happiness.

Their kids were gone. 

Richarlyson was gone. His son disappeared in thin air and there were no clues or hints that showed any single way to get them back or even know where they went. 

The island was in scrambles, empty. 

There were explosions and grieving and chaos everywhere. Every parent doing any and everything to cope with the fact that from day to night they’ve got what was the most important for them ripped right from their fingers. 

The N.I.N.H.O, his project (his responsibility) didn’t work out this time and they lost everything because of it.

Badboyhalo was losing his colors. Baghera disappeared. Cellbit straight out begged him to not leave him alone during all of this. Mike hadn’t been seen in a long time. Etoiles was trying to keep their hopes up. Everyone asked him what they should do, now. What would he do as their president. 

And what did he do? He fucking lost it. He let his feelings get over his head, exploded everything that he could put his eyes on, demolished his base with TNT and threatened Cucurucho, forced the Federation to do a throwback just so they would have an island to put their feet on. Made the Federation see him as a threat and force those pills on him.

He left everyone. His family. His friends.

(What more could he do?)

And everyone should've left him too.

…

And yet…

And yet Pac jumped head first to save him. Accepting to go under Cucurucho’s “treatment” so he could analyze the drugs and find a cure for it. No matter how much he was shaking in fear the entire time, how bad the Federation treated him before or how there was just no certainty that his plan would even work

And yet Philza saw under his mask of smile, past the point of his gun and right into the pain in his eyes in his lowest moment and said that everything would be fine, that he still trusted him, that he knew who he was and how much he cared about the eggs. He said they would find a way to solve things out.

And yet Cellbit didn’t let him go for a single second. He followed him no matter the instability, during those painful moments of consciousness, beyond the fake minutes of happiness and slipped past his traps just to go and pull him out of it. He shouted and hugged and taunted and broke and fought dirty and did what he could to bring him back.

And yet Bad still talked and answered him, even with how much he was hurting, even with the bombs and screams and the dismissing he came back over and over again with his chats and banters and discussions that so easily led Forever to the trap that would come to save his life.

Once again, there were tears in his eyes. 

They were too his family. Forever was the one who put himself under Cucurucho’s radar by going apeshit and bombarding the entire island and they were the ones who saved him from that white fucking bear. From himself. From the Happy Pills.

He cried.

(What else could he do?)

Agony and hope danced in harmony in his chest, sucking all his other senses to nothing and filling his soul with every emotion under the sun at the same time. It was overwhelming but good to be free to feel so easily. It was horrible that he knew how it was like to miss this freedom so much. It was empty to feel this despair all over again. It was good, no, essential to know he was not alone.

Almost hopeful, even.

And yet their children were gone.

And yet everyone was kind of lost.

And yet they needed someone solid, a strong leader to step in.

Forever didn’t feel strong.

(What would he do?)

He wiped his tears. Sat on the bed. Got up. Put back the flag on his shoulder. Took a deep breath, listening to the very known voices coming out of the infirmary that made his entire face change to a (this time genuine) happy, tired and relieved kind of smile.

The president of Quesadilla Island woke up.

(And he didn’t have any idea of how much everyone had been waiting to show him how much they were happy about it.)

[~*~]

It all started in very tiny ways, as most things did, easy to miss if you didn’t know where to look. 

The first time it happened Forever was at favela. He had just finished fixing the elevator from the Karaoke and was watching the sunset (Hi, Bobby) wash over the beach in a dance of colors at the top of the building, resting on the parapet. Pac was somewhere close, building more houses or getting in trouble with Fit, but, besides them, it was just him, his memories and Copacabana beach.

Forever laid his head in his arms, with a long sigh, closing his eyes and just letting the wind mess his hair and clear his thoughts, enjoying the brief moment of peace before he started thinking about more plans and projects to fill his day and mind with.

It was hard, though. When every block he put down or decoration he pulled up made the blonde turn around with a call in the tip of his tongue, words disappearing when he realized that there was no set of small footsteps following him and probably never would again because they were all gone and he was not and how could he ever even think about-

A shiver ran down his spine and made his thoughts come to a halt when he felt a light tickle in the back of his neck, making him have to move a hand out of his comfortable position to wipe the leaf or whatever out of his skin. 

His fingers made contact with nothing. Uh. Must’ve flown away already.

He was tired. Maybe he should take the rest of the day to clean his base. There were still holes from the mine traps that someone has been spreading across the island lately. Another problem for him to resolve. Looked like those were never going to end.

The tickle came back, following him even when he flinched away, with a puffed snicker falling from his tongue. His hand shot to scare whatever insect it was from his neck again but the touch was as nimble as it was soft, lightly and skillfully dancing away from his hold before it could catch him.

“Que porra.” (“The fuck.”) He tried again and again, going so far as slapping his entire arm behind him, hitting nothing.

The sensation disappeared for a brief while before running all the way across his spine, making him almost jump in the air and finally give up his comfortable position to spin around. “Que que é isso, cara!” (“What is this, man!”)

“Pfff- hahaha!”

Forever turned just in the right moment to see his short friend, with sky blue eyes shining with a playful light, pulling a black, crooked and beautiful wing behind his back, his laugh ringing across the building.

“Philza! Really?” 

“What? You wouldn’t have that problem if you wore a shirt, you know?” Forever’s shouted “WHAAAAT!” did nothing to alleviate his laughing fit, a snort not taking long to appear.

“You, you’re, you’re bullying me, man! I just came out of the hospital and you treat me like this. I can’t believe it!”

“You’re-”

“You come here, you hit me, you don’t let me rest after I get out of a coma… I am an injured, man, you know that, Philza? You’re bullying an injured man.”

“I literally,” his tune tried and failed to sound at least a tidbit serious before he descended in more laughter. “I literally didn’t even hit you!” 

Forever continued as if he didn’t hear the protest of the other, turning around and gesticulating dramatically. “You’re a bully, Philza. You’re such a bully.”

“I am doing that to remind you to put on a shirt! You just came out of the hospital, you’re gonna catch a cold.”

“Nah, nah, nah, you’re mean. You’re just so mean to me. Like, I thought we were friends, you know? But I see the truth now.” He tsked. “That is just sad, Philza. That is really sad, man.”

“Oh my fucking god.” The punch he gave on Forever’s arms didn’t even hurt, only making the president snicker louder. “Shut the fuck up.”

Forever chuckled at how done the other sounded, watching him roll his eyes and shake his head with a big smile before taking (he wasn’t resting anymore so might as well just finish his work here) the chance and walking in between the tables and chairs until he got behind the balcony. In no time he began filling the storage with drinks and food. The high, upbeat joy of banting with his friend slowly calming down.

“Actually, I am going to put back my old black suit soon. I am just taking a break from wearing suits so much, you know?”

He didn’t have to explain what the break was really for and how his old presential clothes didn’t have anything to do with it, Philza understood. 

“Take that time off, Forever, you deserve it.” His tune was soft. 

Forever smiled, wishing he could show Phil how wrong he was. A“break” definitely wasn’t on the list of things that Forever deserved at all. That anarchist was way too kind.

“Thank you very much, my friend.” He closed the cabinet door, turning around (and away), facing the entire restaurant. 

Each chair, each color and decor had been carefully picked by small , gentle claws. The building had been chosen by hand and even the balcony was built lower than normal, made so that a small child could go behind it and pretend to be a barman, sing with the melodies and enjoy the view with their family and friends. 

Signs were still spreaded there, on the restaurant, the rooms, the favela, the N.I.N.H.O, the Spawn, their home and island… None of it had been built to be just for the adults and it all brought a longing pang in his chest. 

Saudade.

They’re gone. They’re gone and he was here laughing and resting and doing nothing to rescue them and how could he be so usele-

Another soft sweep of feathers right under his chin made him flinch away with a surprised, bitten giggle, successfully making his line of thoughts disintegrate for a second time. A half smile painted his face.

“Stop with that, man! It tickles.”

Philza tilted his head slightly to the side, eyes sharp in concentration, as if just realizing something. But at the sound of Forever’s voice he blinked and let his expression become a tad more relaxed, with worried tunes.

“You just seemed to be thinking a whole lot back there. What is in your mind?”

“Nothing really important. It doesn’t matter.”

“Well, I’ve got some bad news for you then, mate. Because it will matter to me. You can tell me anything, Forever.”

And for a moment the other considered not doing that. Teleporting away or brushing his worries with another topic or a joke. But that was Philza. 

Philza, one of the most protective parents who still trusted him with Tallulah when he was away. Philza, who didn’t care about the elections but voted for him anyway. Philza, who trusted him with such a conviction and an unyielding loyalty that Forever had no idea of what he could ever have done to deserve it.

(“You saved my children.” Philza would say if he could listen to him. “You went beyond and further to save everyone’s kids for free over and over so no parent would ever carry the grief of losing them again. You did it for Richarlyson, for Tallulah, for Bobby, for Pomme, for you, for us, for free. I’m not forgetting that easily and I’m not letting you forget too.”)

And that was enough.

He stared at the beach again, the words coming easier when he was not looking at the other.

“Talullah was the one who decorated the restaurant. We were having a Karaoke Night and when we got up here she had already put all those nice trees and pretty flowers…It looks really nice.”

Philza sighed, looking ten thousands of years older.

“Yeah, she has an amazing taste.” Then he walked and stayed right in front of Forever’s view, staring right at his eyes, serious. “We’re going to find them, ok? Richas, Talullah, Chayanne, Ramon… Every single one, we’re going to get them back. So don’t let yourself give up and stay focused.”

The president, his friend, nodded.

“We will get them back.” Forever agreed. “No matter what it costs.”

[~*~] 

But Philza was a discreet fella, so things continued to be shown in tiny ways for a while. A poke when he got too distracted and his thoughts too dark, a scribble to get his attention, a sweep of feathers when he refused to stop working so much and listen to the reason. Forever pretended to be annoyed, but the fact that the other cared so much and in such a playful way kept fishing fond smiles and amused chuckles out of him and that he couldn’t ignore.

His cute secret was secure with him, and so things took a while before it began escalating, all because of a different afternoon…

It started with a jumpscare.

“FOREVER!”

“PUTA MERDA!” (“HOLY SHIT!”) The loud shout quickly descended in a series of nervous giggles. The blond holding his chest and resting in a wall to not fall, muscles trembling with the sudden shot of adrenaline. 

It took a couple of minutes for him to get back his composure and glare at the demon that was still snickering gleefully at him, tail swooping around in delight as he jumped around. 

It took exactly one second. 

In a blink Forever was getting his soul back to his body and then in the other he was throwing himself at him and both were rolling on the floor in a mess of pushes and kicks. “Tu se acha engraçadão, hein? Tu se acha muito engraçadão. Palhaço! Tá palhaço demais, hein, Badboyhalo.” (“You think you’re so funny, yeah? You think you’re so funny. You clown! You’re being such a clown, huh, Badboyhalo.”)

Forever didn’t care that his wrestling was uncoordinated enough so most hits didn’t even land on his friend, different from Bad that actually got more than one or two kicks right before letting himself be lost in a mix of too joyfully complains of “unfair attack” and “dictator” to have any true heat in them. 

Their playful fight was kept for a few pieces of a while before they were too distracted by their own amusement to not let the other go and try to recompose themselves.

“Where! is! it!”

“What?” Forever asked, staring with confused eyes at the black demon who crossed his arms and squinted at him in what Forever could swear was an annoyed composure if it wasn’t the way his tail swayed around and his eyes glinted in glee. Whether it was for being so unclear and successfully confusing the blond or for the original reason he appeared there in the first place it wasn’t clear. 

For a moment his eyes unfocused from the form of the other and watched the wall full of kind, heartwarming messages that he asked for everyone still awake at that night to write so he could make BadboyHalo a surprise. Suddenly all the pieces came together in his mind and formed such a cute picture that Forever couldn’t help but let out a delighted chuckle, lips curling in an amused, teasing smirk. “Ooooh, I see what you’re talking about now, Badboy.”

That chuckles almost became a crackle when the only response he received was a petulant huff and a hand extended in his direction, fingers twitching impatiently. Forever took out his backpack, rummaging through it until he found the compartment where he kept all his flowers, carefully pushing Richa’s favorite one aside so he could pull another one. His fingers clasped around a stem and soon a light purple grazed his sight. “Here. Your daily flower. It’s for until you get better, right?”

“Oh, nice, thank you.” Bad’s voice tinted with a softer tune, carefully gathering the gift and putting it on his own backpack, in a special place, together with the others, before his tune became agitated again, feet tapping on the floor with energy. “But that is NOT what I am talking about.” He got closer and repeatedly began slapping his arm, following the president when he shouted and started running around the enclosed space, jumping in attempts to escape from the sudden attack. “WHERE IS IT! GIVE ME, IT’S MINE!”

“What! What more do you want from me!” When no answer was given besides more chasing and (friendly) hitting, the blonde got the warpstone with an exaggerated sigh. 

“You know, Badboyhalo,” when Forever said his entire name, it wasn’t exactly sing-songing, but it had a little beat painted with amusement and tease, when the demons haven’t been able to successfully annoy him out of his mind, of course. “I really need to go, man, and since you don’t have anything to say to me… tsk, that is so sad, man, I was really feeling quite… generous today”

“No!” The demon tried to grab his shoulder, but the blonde dodged swiftly, still pretending to be looking busy and thinking hard about his next location. “Forever. Do not. You’re not running away. I know what you’re doing!” Forever smiled. 

Being friends with Cellbit, you learned a thing or two. Like how to disappear in the middle of a conversation, but, especially, how to do that in the most annoying way possible. “No, no, no, I’m not running away at all, Bad, I am actually…”

However, that was the thing: Bad was also Cellbit’s friend, and so realized the exact moment that glint filled the president’s brown eyes what was about to happen. His hand flew in another attempt of a grab, missing once again his shoulder when the other, a bit later than last time, dodged, which allowed his reflex to kick in and his hand changed the trajectory and lay on the brazilian’s side, squeezing.

None of them was prepared for the squeal that this action fished.

For a second, a blissful second, everything froze and both stared at each other. 

That is how Forever saw the exact second the demon’s eyes squinted and a playful flame alighted in them.

In a blink his other hand also flew to his waist and began attacking both sides with no mercy. Forever had no chance to even try to stop the barking loud laughter that exploded from him, immediately letting go of the warpstone to clue on Bad’s wrists, trying to push them away by sheer reflex even before his brain could process what was happening. 

“Nonono, stop that! BA-ad!”

Bad couldn’t help but giggle, half adoring and half malefically, at the way the laughter made most of his words get almost intelligible. Besides, Bad thinks he could grow accustomed to having his name being snickered in such an adoring - together with that cute smile and shiny eyes - way more often, really.

His fingers poked and prodded with skill and curiosity, looking for any sensitive spot that could create a new fun sound and concentrating there for a few maddening seconds and plenty of digging before looking for the next one. There was a very nice one juuust above his lowest rib that made the barking laughter become a string of snickers that seemed to grow higher and faster by the seconds. It almost made Bad forget his main job now as his friend and rival the second (actually, even before that, if he was being honest, but honesty was overrated) he discovered that little fun secret about their dear tyrant:

Tease him out of his mind.

“Huh? Stop what, Foreverrr?” “That! You’re ti-” Bad closed his hands in fists and pressed his knuckles on his ribs and rubbed as if his life depended on it, cutting the rest of the sentence with success and filling the room with much more shrieks than before. “What was that?” 

Forever couldn’t answer, his legs were failing and it made him get close to a fall if it wasn’t for the demon adjusting his hold on him and slowly lowering him to the ground, fingers still dancing in each and every rib, scratching and scribbling happily.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear what you’re saying, some muffinhead is laughing their heart out near here. Perhaps they heard a very good joke. Hmmm, what do you think Forever?”

Forever snorted, eyes almost closed with how much he was laughing, tears beginning to collect in the corner of his eyes. A few portuguese words got tangled with his crackling. Bad nodded seriously and slowed his tickle attack, not wanting to go too far.

“Uh hm, no, I get what you’re putting down here. We just need to ignore the laughter and keep up our nice conversation. I think that is a great idea!” He snuggled his hands cozily under Forever’s armpits, lightly wiggling and poking, which resulted in the laughter becoming a new dance of a calmer, but still high with adrenaline and mirth, string of snickers that made the blonde’s shoulders bounce in joy. “What were you saying before?” 

“Stop tickling me!” “What!” Bad gasped in offense. “How can you even accuse me like that! What the fudge, I thought we were friends. But, no, I see. I came aaaaall the way over here, did nothing wrong and you just treat me like that.” He gave a fake sniff.  “You’re hurting my feelings, Forever.” “Mentiroso!” (Liar!) It was quite difficult to see with tears and squinted eyes, especially when Bad’s hoodie always kept his expressions hidden, however, it was even harder to miss how those shiny eyes glinted with mischief and fondness and his smirk went from one ear to another. 

It was quite the sweet sight. Forever had to push his face away before it made him blush vomit. 

(For a second, he could almost swear that the blue that covered the other’s figure dimmed a little for a piece of time.)

“You’re such a liar.”

“Oh why, thank you.”

Bad freed his hands and softly attacked the back of the elf’s ears, still too lost in the lovely sound of his delightful giggles, crackles and snickers to actually let him go. That was the true sound of Forever’s happiness, not that forced, explosive laughter created by those pills. 

Besides, Forever also wasn’t pushing him away.

Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t the only one missing that freeing sound. Maybe Forever also longed for those moments of playful fights between them, of pushing the buttons and teasing and caring and always, always being there, for the better or the worse.

Eventually, the president held his hands and stopped the attack, left over giggles still pouring from his lips like a waterfall. 

Their eyes met.

Forever’s smile got relaxed and small before growing bigger. 

Bad just hummed, tail starting to sway fastly from side to side.

“So, Badboyhalo…”

“Yes?”

Forever’s grip got more firm. 

Bad’s pull got equally stronger. 

They kept smiling.

“Are you… uh.” His voice lost the undertone of playfulness, brown eyes focusing with true curiosity for a moment. “Coceguento? How is it in english? Tickly?”

“Oh, it’s ticklish. For example, you are very ticklish, Forever.”

“Hehehe,” he snorted, and his curiosity was satisfied. “Yeah, yeah, I got it. But what about you, Badboyhalo? Are you… ticklish?” The word came slowly and playfully, tinted with a nice accent.

Bad’s tail opened his backpack, rummaging in search for a very specific item.

“Hmmm… no, actually. I’m not.”

The blonde’s smile got more dangerous. “I don’t know… I don’t believe in you, man.” He found it. 

Bingo.

“Then why don’t you try to find out?” 

Forever pulled him closer and with a swift move the enderpearl that had been in his bag was thrown to the other side of the room, successfully freeing the demon from his hold. Not a second later, though, Forever was jumping on his feet, ready for another chase.

Lots of laughter filled the afternoon, that day.

[~*~]

After that, the avian wasn’t the only one who now randomly poked, prodded and attacked the outgoing brazilian when he wasn’t expecting, anymore. Even though Badboyhalo’s attacks were much more out of the blue, following him in those lonely afternoons when he was distracted in his adventures or too lost in a project to realize the other invaded his base in the middle of a sleepless night. 

But, you see, the difference between Philza and Bad and knowing that Forever is actually pretty ticklish is a very single detail: Bad is a fucking gossiper who loved to set chaos just to see where it would go. 

And, therefore, the main reason why Forever was so screwed right now.

“NÃO! SAI, SAI, SAI. LARGA DE MIM!” (NO! GET AWAY, GET AWAY, GET AWAY. LET ME GO!)

“Que isso, moço, tá fugindo da gente por que?” (What is this, bro? Why are you running away from us?) 

Forever didn’t even have to turn around to see Mike’s giant smug grin. It was almost palpable in his tune. But if anyone could have any doubt about its existence, they just needed to listen to his crackles as both him and Pac chased their friend through the Spawn, leaving a very amused Bad and  Bagi, who shouted a “Boa sorte aí, Forevinho!” (Good luck, Forevinho!) in the wind behind.

“Pois é, a gente só quer um abraço apertado do nosso presida da galera! Cadê o espírito da Favela Six?” (That’s right. We just want a tight hug from our favorite president! Where’s the Favela’s six spirit?) Pac, however, questioned with a genuine tune, almost naive like as he followed the other closely, getting closer and closer by the seconds. For a moment he almost tricked the president into thinking that he was the merciful one, then he remembered about that one tickle fight he, Mike and Tubbo had in the Favela.

Let’s just say it was just a very quick thought, really.

“Favela six é o caralho, ceis querem é me roubar. Eu já disse que não vai ter Armazém da Galera nenhum! Isso é ataque à autoridade, hein!” (Favela Six my ass, you just want to rob me. I already said that there won’t be any Free Storage! This is an attack on authority!)

“A gente só quer o que é nosso por direito, Forevin.” (We just want what is faithfully ours, Forevin.)

The blonde didn’t even have a chance to answer before an arm grabbed his shoulder and pushed, disbalancing him enough so Pac was able to sneak behind him and lock him in a hug, snickering gleefully in his ear.

“Que isso, cara, achava que tu era compromissado! Vou falar pro Fit, hein!” (The hell, man! I thought you were compromised! I’m going to tell Fit!) Forever’s struggles only grew stronger when he saw Mike getting closer, wiggling his hands in the form of claws as he stopped running and instead began to approach slowly, chuckles falling freely from his lips and making shivers run across his spine and giggles to pile in his chest. 

He tried again to free himself from the hug, showing no success. Pac’s hold was firm as a mountain.

“E desde quando que tu tá malhando? Tá todo mamadíssimo aí, né, eu tô sabendo.” (And since when you’re ripped? You’re all ‘mamadíssimo’ now. I see what’s going on.)

Pac let out an amused, with drops of shyness, snort. “Pois é, né, moço. Sabe como é né… Tô indo na academia do Fit bastante esses tempos e tudo mais, aí dá nisso.” (That is right, bro. You know how it is… I’m visiting Fit's Gym a lot these last days and that is what happens.) His tune lost a bit of the light and became more serious, cracked in the corners. “Também, né, a gente nunca sabe quando vai precisar. Eu não quero que quando chegue a hora…” (Also, we don’t know when we’re gonna need it. I don’t want that, when the time comes…)

Forever knew exactly what he was talking about, the same cloudy thoughts that filled everyone’s mind in the island the second he warned that the kids had ran away because a danger greater than everything they’ve seen before was coming, the Federation choosing to announce the train station’s opening in just a few days also did not help their nerves.

He looked at Pac’s shadows under his eyes, suddenly remembering that his friend also went under the Happy Pills Treatment, the horrible withdrawal, the exhaustion of recovery, all to save him. 

His struggles became just a little, a little less strong, heart melting and hurting like it did for every single member of their dysfunctional family since they arrived in that boat.

The scientists deserved to have their own silly fun, even if the fun was destroying their friend and president in a mess full of giggling pieces.

And so Forever let out a loud laughter, wiggling his eyebrows and giving him a knowing smirk. “Tu tá praticando bastante exercício com o Fit é? Aham, hehehe, tô sabendo.” (Doing a lot of exercise with Fit, yeah? Uh hm. Hehehe, I see.)

“FOREVER!” This time the snort that came out from Forever’s mouth was more of a result of Pac's unfairly squeezing his belly non stop instead of a reaction to the affronted shout, the one with blue hoodie not throwing any other remark or getting lost in any dark thought. The blonde counted that as a win for him. 

“Tá bem engraçadinho, mas você não vai conseguir me distrair. Sabe, o Badboy me falou algo muito interessante sobre você que ele descobriu mês passado…” (You think you’re being funny, huh. But you’re not going to distract me. You know, Badboy told me something very interesting about you that he discovered last month…)

Mike finally got right in front of him and Forever immediately started kicking in his direction to keep those offending fingers away from his torso at the same time that he continued to attempt to pry Pac’s hands - that somehow seemed to sense the exact spots he was the most sensitive and concentrate all their pinches, scribbles and tickly efforts on them over and over again - until the attack forced Forever to press his lips on his shoulder to contain the blossoming laughter and embarrassing squeals that tried to escape from his mouth.

His efforts to not let any sound out, however, were demolished when, in his distraction, Mike grabbed his ankle and grinned like a shark that finally got his prey. 

“Eu preferia uma mãozinha, mas já que é isso que você tá oferecendo…” (I’d rather you gave me a hand, but since you’re offering…) And, locking the leg in a headlock,  his fingers began dancing across his sole, walking around his arch and giving some special attention to the extremely ticklish space right under his toes, skillfully dodging any kicks that this move resulted in and breaking Forever’s barriers instantly.

Forever’s booming laughter filled the air in a free dance of joy, mirth and a warmth that filled his heart when he remembered just how long had it been since all of them could just get together and goof around a bit, no kidnappings or imminent dangers in their minds for a blissful pieces of time.

[~*~]

“Soooo, guys, I think I’m heading out, now.” Forever kept jumping on the trampoline, restless energy running on his veins after talking to Phil about his journey in the Nether. The virus hadn’t spread a lot those last days, but the conversation was hard, not only because of how, primarily, exhausting it was to go through all of it, but because for some reason something in him made he almost feel compelled to shut his mouth and not say a single word about the infection to anyone else.

They played and gave each other a few remarks and pokes of fun when Philza asked for Forever to take off his shirt in the bunker, careful touches analyzing the skin around the ébano substance glued on his back and in the nape of his head. Even so, it made the blonde want to hide away the result of his journey. Forever never have been ashamed of his body. He used to walk around shirtless, on the good old, first days on the island, afterall. But if he was being honest... he was afraid about that infection, and Philza didn’t seem very relieved about it either.

It was a literal mark about how he had failed in absolutely every single sense and chance he had out there. In finding any clue, in getting their kids back, in saving Walter Bob or even himself. In the end, he was not able to do any of this.

That is the President of Quesadilla Island, everyone.

(“We’re going to talk with Cucurucho and demand answers about what the fuck is this.”

Forever gave a humorless chuckle, happy that the children were outside playing so they weren’t here to witness how defeated he sounded for a second before adjusting himself to a playful grin that didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, Philza, he is very good at this. Giving us answers, right?”

“We have to try. If someone knows about this it is the Federation.”  Philza brushed the other’s sarcastic ‘há!’ easily and moved until he was right in front of the brazilian, capturing his eyes in a firm stare. “And if they don’t have anything, we’re going to find our own answers.”

Forever nodded, not really believing.

“You worry too much, my friend.”

“Exactly. I already told you but I will repeat it until it gets through your thick skull: I always will worry and I’m not leaving you side, mate.”

For a moment words escaped from his tongue, a mix of feelings of ‘safe’, ‘happy’ and ‘embarrassment’ filled his chest before he got a hold of his senses. 

“Alright, alright, alright.” 

This time, when he smiled there was a light back into his brown, tired eyes. 

“You know, Philza, you really need to get over me, man. The line continues, I’m already moving forward and you still try to romance me, it’s- what is the word? Oh, embarrassing, hehehe”

The avian took advantage of his position to hit the other upside his head, a surprise snort being fished from his lips. 

“Oho, shut the fuck up. You’re the one who is still on this!”)

And yeah, maybe he was just making a strategic retreat after showing vulnerability, but who could blame him, really? No one, that’s who. He would be out before they did try.

“Come on, Richas, vamo de Megabase.” (Let’s go to Megabase) He called, getting out of the trampoline when the boy kept painting and paid him no mind. Tallulah, however, stopped writing on a book to go to him, Chayanne turned to look from his place next to the grill nearby, already testing a new recipe.

The girl placed a sign and stared at him with attentive eyes, lips firmly pressed in a shadow of disappointment. ‘You already going?’

(God. He really missed the sound of little steps and signs being placed. They missed it all so much.)

Forever internally winced. He really didn’t spend a lot of time with Chay and Talullah since they’re back, letting them enjoy more time with Phil and just making quick check ins once in a while. He also took the last days to spend as much time as he could with Richas, afterall.

“Yeah... sorry, Talullah, but me and Richas still have to finish our project, right Richas?”

Still no answer from the younger one, too concentrated in every stroke to pay the conversation any mind.

Forever chuckled, sensing a chance for some mischief. Cleaning his throat, he lifted his voice from the usual soft tune he always used with Tallulah to a more taunting tune, making it louder so Richas could listen perfectly well.

“Ohhh, but maybe you can go and help me to make it, right, Talullah? You’re such a nice, helpful egg who listens to your parents when they call you, just like Chayanne. Richarlyson could take some examples from his older siblings more, tsk.” The president had to hold the snickers when he saw the red cow head stop and slowly, threateningly slowly, turn around to face him, Richas letting go of the brush to squint their eyes at him. Talullah and Chayanne rolled their eyes, amused, already used to the playful banters between father and son. “But ahh, he just never listens. Oooh, I have an idea! While Tallulah helps me with the decoration, Chayanne, you can go too and make your delicious barbecue there to keep us- AH!”

The surprised shout was a direct result for when the younger launched himself at his father in protest and began roughhousing immediately, both descending in growls and portuguese for a few couple of minutes before Forever laid a satisfied Richas on the floor, who immediately placed a sign.

‘Pai, stop. I’m making Pepito’s birthday present, let me finish it >:0 we can go Mebase later :D’

“Ok, ok, I get it, I get it. You like Pepito more than your own father. Yeah, yeah, no Richas, no, I get it.” He began fake sniffing and making crying noises, leading to a Richas kicking his leg in a clear message of ‘stop the dramatics’ before going back to the canvas. “Ok, ok, warn me when you finish your drawing then, we can stay a little more.”

The three kids danced in excitement.

(...)

He is not sure how exactly he had ended up in this position.

Talullah and Chayanne were secure and cozy his arms, half because of a poke of fun at Philza that started with a joke ten minutes ago and they just kept it running and half as a parting hug that was stiffly (but still very carefully) answered by Chayanne and warmly by Tallulah. Forever enthusiastically squeezed and hugged them even tighter. A bit jealous of how Philza could shield them both with his wings during their own hugs and how he could only wish that his arms would be strong enough to defend them when the time comes.

“OK, now it’s for real. Richas, let’s go!”

But, when Richarlyson appeared in front of him, paints and canva already put inside his backpack, his smile had a different tint in it and, between his curls, Forever could recognize the flame that always appeared when that kid’s inner demon - not his terrifying artistic alter ego, though, the general demon that lives inside every rascal kid - woke in search of chaos.

He immediately became wary.

‘Chay, Talluh, can I tell you a secret about Pai Forever? 0-0’

Both siblings immediately nodded.

“Ohh, gossip. I like, I like.” Philza snorted at the affronted look in Forever’s face. 

“Vai contar nada, vai contar nada, seu muleque atentado! Nem sei o que tu vai falar, mas não vai falar não. Que que é isso, Richarlyson, tá se virando contra o seu próprio pai?” (You’re telling nothing, you’re telling nothing, you absolute brat. I don’t even know what you’re about to say but you’re telling nothing. What is it, Richarlyson, are you turning against your own dad?)

During the entire scold Richas kept jumping around in circles with the utmost, simple delight, wiggling his body and tail in sync in front of Forever, as if daring him to let go of the other two eggs to go and actually catch him, like a cat looking deep into your eyes before throwing the cup right off your table.

He put a sign on the ground.

‘Pai Forever is absurdly, awfully, very, very, ticklish. And it’s so funny because he always agrees to give us anything when we tickle attack him at home.'

“WHAAAAAT! RICHARLYSON, TU VAI FICAR DE CASTIGO, SEU OVO SAFADO. VAI PASSAR O RESTO DA VIDA NAQUELE CASTELO ASSOMBRADO LÁ DO TEU PAI CELLBIT. VOU CHAMAR O ELMARIANA PRA PUXAR TEU PÉ DE NOITE” (RICHARLYSON, YOU’RE GOING TO GET GROUNDED, YOU RASCAL. YOU’RE GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN YOUR DAD CELLBIT’S HAUNTED CASTLE. I’M GOING TO CALL ELMARIANA TO PULL YOUR FEET IN THE NIGHT.)

His kid, his beautiful, beautiful baby boy that he would explode the entire island for and go through the literal hell all over again if it meant that he would be finally safe, only looked at him in a confused expression - as if the lil shit just couldn’t tell why his dear pai was running away from him as he tried to get closer - and began following his steps as Forever tried to put distance between them, holding Chayanne and Talullah the farthest away from his torso that he could while the two squirmed trying to escape and attack.

In the end his back ended up hitting the tree and, without being able to get his items to flee, he had nowhere to go.

“Wait, wait, wait, don-” A chortle escaped the very exact moment Richas began drilling on his sides, making Forever want to bounce up and down with the sudden tickly energy that shot through his entire body, leaving his mouth with a big, dazzling smile and his arms to fall in an attempt to protect himself from the tickling, which inevitably brought the other children close and sealed his fate.

Tallulah was bold, briefly looking at his face for any sign of discomfort before carefully shoving her claws under his armpit, scratching the ticklish skin with ease, but for the loud shriek that this resulted one could think that she just unlocked a full, unmerciful on a tickle attack.

Chayanne took a bit longer, giving his surroundings and sky a wary look, as if a monster would appear the very second he lowered his guard, only to end up finding his father’s gaze, who was watching at them with a soft expression and nodding encouragingly. The little (way to young) warrior relaxed and also took the job of scribbling, encircling and digging (just the tiniest bit, he had to be mindful about his claws after all) the other armpit, fish just more squeals and plenty of gleeful laughter with that.

Forever felt like he was about to jump out of his skin, his body going crazy at the ‘it tickles, it tickles so so much!’ feeling while his brain was still caught in the need to not move around too much to not hurt any kid with his squirms. All of which ended up with the blonde doing a weird little dance around the spot that brought plenty of giggles and amused snickers from the young ones.

Now, the similarity between Philza and Bad is that, while he wasn’t exactly the one who created it, Philza was more than inclined and wouldn’t necessarily refuse to add to a chaotic situation it if the chance came, if he felt like it.

That is why he stepped close, winking at them. “I think it’s better if you just agree to their terms, Forever.”

“I-I” the adult tried to bite back another giggling fit, but their tickles were so goddamn light and maddening- “I don’t even snk know what thehey want!”

“Just agree to give them anything then.”

Forever shook his head. He knew his son enough to understand how much of a pain in the ass that decision could become.

“Needing more convincing? Well, kids, you saw it.”

“Filho da puta-” (Son of a bitch-), and Forever threw his head backwards in more laughter, more squeaks, more half squirms.

Now, Philza may not know Portuguese. However, six months sharing an island with 7 brazilians and plenty of reasons to swear taught him well what some words meant. He snorted, half amused and half affronted.  

“Do NOT swear in front of the children.” Then, a wicked grin was formed in his expression.“You know what? I think the eggs need a little help.”

Forever’s eyes got wide when he saw the avian stepping close, cracking his fingers, making an electric shiver run across his spine and spread through his nerves, making his fingertips tingle with adrenaline and anticipation. 

His legs tensed in preparation for the chase, unfortunately, his son knew him too well.

In a blink Richarlyson threw himself on his legs and hugged them, successfully stopping him from even trying to escape. And those extra pieces of time were all that Philza needed. As fast as he was to defend and attack, he positioned himself right in front of the president, firmly pressing his shoulder to the tree and not really, truly, preventing him from escaping, but successfully securing him in place, in the same time.

“Ok, kids, what I know for a fact is that his neck is a very bad spot…” He demonstrated it by lightly tracing and wiggling his nails on said place, all of the dragon hybrids watching attentively as the action made Forever lose himself in a sea of snickers and yelps, a stronger reaction only coming out when two more tiny hands got mixed in the fun when Chayanne and Talullah tried mirroring their dad.

“But a spot that could make him cave…” Philza hummed before turning to the young one with a red mushroom cow head. “What do you think, Richarlyson? His hips or the back of his ribs?”

Richas looked at his dad. 

At how dark have been the circles under his eyes since he came back, at how he kept chatting with the islanders but never truly talking to them, how he always kept running off to another project or meeting, always saying that Richas was his son and his best friend and the only one he could trust when they got caught up in the middle of the night building and decorating his base.

He saw how, until now, he hadn’t run away. Through the teases, the attacks and tickles, he stayed.

And so, he smirked. 

Placed a sign.

‘Both?’

“Geez, I’m never getting into a tickle fight with you, mate.” Even so, the avian reflected his smirk right back at him and both turned to look at Chayanne and Talullah, who nodded in understanding and placed their claws on the back of his ribs. 

“Nononono! Wait!” Philza placed his free hand on his hips, thumb pressing the spot right above the bone, the palm resting on the back of his spine. Forever’s speech became more high pitched and much faster, with nervous, delirious chuckles already spilling and spinning in the air. “None of you said what you wanted from me! That is not justo, uh, just, huh, fair! Calma aí, come on, wait, wait, wait!”

They did not, in fact, wait.

For a second, once again, everything else in the world disappeared. There were no code monsters, no Federation, no Purgatory or anything else but the warm, electric feeling of fingers and claws prodding, pinching and scratching that took over his entire senses, making his laughter ring free in a song composed of yelps, shrieks, squeals and snickers that filled the air. There was nothing else but the fun, the joy and the warmth of a careful touch and silly taunting smiles that his heart melt with care over and over again.

In the end, after more laughter, plenty of teasing and lots of snorts, they finally agreed to ask him to visit them again after a couple of days for a nice picnic. A request which, in between leftover chuckles, plenty complains and a few gleeful tears, Forever agreed, a plan of vengeance already forming in his brain.

[ray-ray-writings]

drabble idea: after Wilbur is killed by Phil, Fundy finds a smol arctic fox hybrid reader and cuz they're both foxes and the hybrid child looks abandoned, he adopts them. Then Ghostbur shows up and Fundy doesn't want him to have anything to do with his child. maybe some other relationships for fluff??? i'm just craving this rn -💍

So imagines won right? I sit down and go to write the imagine, and I just end up staring at a blank screen for what felt like forever. I know I said I would give you the option but I honestly couldn’t put anything in my brain for it. And because I spent so long staring at it, I lost a lot of time and so this is the only post for tonight…. I feel so bad. I’m sorry guys, I should have more stuff tomorrow. <3

TW: Parental abandonment.

This idea is so cute though. 

So we all know that Wilbur wasn’t the best father. He really messed Fundy up and gave him some of those good good daddy issues to where he has a hard time trusting people. But I think that he would be out on a walk, clearing his mind, trying to think of anything but his father. He’d be in a snowy biome when he hears footsteps. At first he thinks it’s a mob of some kind, so he draws his weapon and creeps toward the sound. He catches sight of something white and at first he thinks it’s a skeleton, but then the thing moves again and he can very clearly see it’s an ear, a white fluffy ear… That’s odd. “Hello?” he finally decides to call out. There is a small squeak and a lot of rustling. When he wasn’t attacked, he figured it safe to move forward. He carefully approached and as he pushed some of the bushes out of the way to reveal a small child. In one quick glance he could tell this was no ordinary child. It was an arctic fox hybrid, the fluffy white ears and tail a dead give away. In his glance, he could also tell this child was in rough shape. Their clothes were tattered and torn allowing him to see just how skinny they were. His heart ached for the poor child, “Hello little one,” he greets softly, “What are you doing out here?” 

You’d been on your own for a really really long time now. Your parents had brought you out here, told you to stay put, and left. You listened and so you waited for them to come back. But as the days went on, you began to understand what had happened. But nevertheless, you sat there and waited. Munching on the berries of the bushes, but it never quite fills your stomach. One day as you’re moving from bush to bush, a voice calls out. It startles you and you can’t help but let out a squeak as you fall to the ground in surprise. The bushes shuffle a bit and from over the top you find an orange headed man peering at you curiously. His eyes scan you quickly before he speaks, “Hello little one,” his voice soft and comforting as he speaks, “What are you doing out here?” You give him a little shrug and allow yourself to look him up and down. You’re heart thuds a little faster as you notice that he is also a fox hybrid with orange and black ears, an orange and white tail, and sharp canines poking out from his lips. “Where are you parents?” he tries again. Again, you give a little shrug and figuring you can trust this man, you speak, “Gone… Let me here.” His heart breaks at your sad and defeated tone. “They left you here? All by yourself? When did they leave?” Another shrug, “Two… three….. Weeks.” you mumble, looking down to the berry bushes, your fingers grazing them carefully. Fundy’s heart burns in anger as he thinks about how horrible your parents were for leaving their obviously amazing child to die in the woods. He’s about to speak when your stomach grumbles loudly causing you to flush in embarrassment. “Hungry?” Fundy asks, then mentally smacks himself. Of course you’re hungry your stomach just rumbled. But you nod sheepishly, still plucking at the leaves. “How would you like to come home with me. I can fix you up some fish. I have lots of fish at my house. You could eat as much as you’d like and you could stay as long as you want.” Not even caring if this guy was lying to you, you accept his offer, simply desperate to get out of the woods. Your head slowly rises from the bushes as you stare at Fundy who is smiling at you ever so softly with an outstretched hand. Carefully you raise your own arm and gently rest your hand in his, shivering at the warmth that spreads throughout your palm. “Let’s get going then kiddo.” 

Fundy leads you out of the forest and towards his house. As you two walk, you two talk… Well he does a lot of the talking and you give small answers here and there. You tell him your name and he tells you his. He talks about where you’re going and how it’s extremely safe there and how he thinks you’ll like it. He leads you inside his house, sits you at the table, before making up some fish for you and him. He places the plate down in front of you and before he can sit to eat his own meal, yours is finished. To say he’s shocked is an understatement, but he quickly remembers you were out in the forest all alone for two to three weeks, maybe longer with nothing but berries. You’re looking at him super embarrassed, like you want to ask for more but are too scared too. “Hey, it’s okay,” he soothes, walking back over to you, setting his own plate down in front of you, picking up the empty one, “You don’t have to feel bad. Like I said, I have plenty of fish, eat as much as you like.” And so you do. You eat until you’re so full you can barely move. Your eyes are sleepily closing and then jerking back open as you try to force yourself to stay awake. Fundy notices this and laughs quietly to himself. Your eyes close for a little while, giving Fundy enough time to put his plan into action. He quickly stands up, moves to you, picks you up, and carries you to his bed. He carefully lays you down, tucks you in, and presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Sleep well darling,” he mumbles, not thinking much of it. “Thanks dad” you mumble back, clearly out of it. But the simple word stops Fundy’s heart before a huge smile grows on his face. He decides that he wants you to be his child, if you want. He can feel a connection and a strong desire to care and love for you and he wants to be that strong father figure that he himself did not have. The next morning when you wake up, you don’t remember what you said obviously. You also plan to leave and go back to the forest. You would thank Fundy for feeding you but you already feel you've overstayed your welcome. You make your way down to the kitchen, ready to tell the man who saved you, who you don’t want to leave, goodbye. Fundy is standing over the stove and at the sound of your footsteps his head turns and he grins brightly at you, “Hey kiddo! Have a seat! Eggs are almost done! I hope you like them scrambled!” Not wanting him to feel bad, you do as you’re told and decide to tell him after breakfast. True to his word, the eggs don’t take that much longer and soon he’s served you some eggs. You two eat together, talking a bit about how you both slept and stuff. And after you’re done, you’re just about to tell him but then he begins to tell you about his plans for the day and asks if you want to tag along and you do. You really do. It is then you decide that you’ll stay until Fundy asks you to leave, and if that means you’re staying forever… So be it. 

Okay on to some more general headcanons and less plot type stuff haha

You two help each other in grooming your ears and tails all the time. I feel like they can be hard to get perfectly clean by yourself so you two do it together as a bonding activity. You would do Fundy’s first because it takes less time. Fundy does a lot of it and you just get the hard to reach spots and stuff, and makes sure there is no spot left unclean. However, when it’s your turn, Fundy takes complete control. He will make you just sit there and let him groom and take care of you. He is so careful as he does it. He cleans your ears and your tail carefully, making sure no dirt is left. And then he takes the time to carefully brush out the hair and make it very soft and very fluffy. It feels so nice. I would imagine you didn’t have the nicest parents, they literally left you in a forest to die, so you never got this special treatment or attention for your ears or tail. So the first time you two did this, you would be so confused. You didn’t understand what was happening or why you were being treated so kindly, which broke Fundy’s heart. I feel that’s also partly why he doesn’t let you help because he wants to make sure that you know that you will be loved and cared for as long as he’s in your life. 

So that being said, you two are so affectionate with each other. Like you curl up together and cuddle on the couch all the time. It has a lot to do with the fox side of both of you. It feels really nice to be pressed against family of your own ‘breed’ so to speak. A lot of the time it’s a lot of you sitting on his lap or laying on top him while he holds you tightly. Again, he wants to make sure that you feel loved and wanted. 

I feel like it wouldn’t take you long to call him dad. Like you accidentally did the first night, but you weren’t really awake for it. But I do feel like it would be a slip of the tongue on your part again. Just he does something for you and you give a quick “thanks dad” before you dead stop and stare at him. His eyes are also wide and filling with tears. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. It just that you have taken care of me from the moment I got here and I--” Fundy would cut you off by pulling you into a tight hug. “It’s okay Y/N. It really is. It would be an honor if you called me your father” he tells you. Your heart soars in your chest as you hug him back. “Okay… Thank you dad.” You two go to sleep that night with the biggest smiles on your faces that you’ve ever had.

…….. Speaking of dads….. Ghostbur comes back. One day there is a knock on the door. You’re both confused because no one should be coming over to your knowledge. But Fundy gets up and he opens the door and his confusion turns into anger. “What are you doing here?” He spits out. You slowly make your way to the front room, hiding behind a wall but peeking your head around the corner to see what was happening. There in front of your father stood an extremely pale man in a yellow sweater and a red beanie. “Hello Fundy!” the man greets, oblivious to Fundy’s harsh tone, “I came to visit you! I wanted to see my son!” A gasp catches in your throat, this was your dad’s dad. He hadn’t told you much about him, he just told you that he used to be close with his father but as he grew more obsessed with politics, that bond broke bit by bit until it was completely severed by his death. “Well that sucks because I don’t want to see you. Go away now” Fundy snaps back, waving him off. Ghostbur catches his harsh tone now and a frown settles on his face, “Fundy please. I want to talk. I want to mend what was broken. You’re my son and-” “And nothing. You should have thought about that before you went and blew up our nation and then got stabbed by grandpa… So goodbye now.” Fundy moves out of the doorway and goes to close the door. When he moved out of the doorway though, he accidentally gives Ghostbur a direct line of sight of you peeking around the corner. He lets out a gasp and points, “Fundy who’s that.” Fundy looks over his shoulder and pales a little but because oh fuck. This is the last thing he wanted to happen. He clears his throat and looks back to the ghost of his father. “That’s Y/N… My kid” “I have a grandchild?” “No you don’t because you are no father of mine. Now if you’ll excuse me” and before Ghostbur can respond, Fundy has slammed the door closed. You’re a little worried as to what he’s going to say to you so you speak first after you walk all the way in, “I’m sorry” you whisper. “No, no, no baby. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. Don’t worry about it.” The rest of the day, Fundy is a little off. He tries to act normal but you can tell something is off. You don’t call him out on it though, you just let him do him. 

But yeah. Fundy does everything in his power to keep you away from Ghostbur. He does not care a single bit if Ghostbur isn’t Wilbur, they were both still his father that practically abandoned him and so therefore he will not be around his child. His child will only be surrounded by those who love them unconditionally and will always love them. If you and him are out and public and Ghostbur appears, Fundy will take you back home. He doesn’t care if what he is doing is super important, he will leave and take you home. He also will not let Ghostbur in his home. Ghostbur does show up occasionally, hoping to catch another glance of you, but Fundy barely opens the door to the point where Ghostbur can hardly see him. Fundy will let Phil, Techno, and Tommy see you occasionally which hurts Ghostbur a lot, but there is nothing he can do about it. Fundy does not want his ghost father to be anywhere near his child. 

But Fundy would be an amazing father. He knows what it’s like to be/feel abandoned by a parent and to feel ignored in a world full of family. So he makes sure you never feel like that. He loves you so much and makes sure you know that. Fundy would do anything for you, give anything for you. He loves you so much. His precious baby child. 

Okay that ending sucked lololol. Again, I’m very sorry that this is the only post tonight. I got a much later start than I planned and it fucked everything. I’ll see you guys with more content tomorrow though (hopefully).

[paradisobound]

Social Interactions of the Drunken Kind

Summary: Dan gets drunk and confesses to Phil that he likes boys. But now that that is out in the open, where does that leave them to go from here?

Word Count: 2.1k 

Warnings: Alcohol use 

This was written for the @phanfictionevents telephone fic event! I was able to chime in and pitch hit for a team and finish the fic! The other two authors who wrote the first half are @phlanetary and @tolbabydan! My part is the final part and begins after the three ***! Hope you enjoy! 

“C’n I conf’ss s’m’thin’ to you?”

It was well past midnight, probably way too late to be having discussions like this. The room filled with dust and speckles of uncertainty and nervosity. Dan lay on his side, eyes glimmering from starlight that shone through the windows. His hair danced in perfect curls over his forehead, and behind the darkness of the room, were his cheeks rosy pink. Phil could tell because of his body language, the way his smile turned from happy to bashful in just a second. He knew him so well, inside and out. Like best friends should.

Phil yawned. When Bryony had told them there was only one spare bed he thought it would be fine. It wasn’t like they hadn’t ever shared a bed before and besides, they were jetlagged and tired and would probably fall asleep immediately anyway. He had clearly underestimated what a couple of cocktails and a good night out can do to your energy levels.

“Hm?” Phil looked up at the ceiling. He could feel Dan’s gaze digging into his skin.

He was getting concerned now. Something doesn’t seem right.

Dan took a deep breath. Shaky breath. Then he looked at the ceiling too.

“Dan, what’s going on?” Phil’s heartbeat sped up. He was overreacting, of course he was, but Dan never spoke to him like this and something was clearly not as it should. Granted, Dan had had a few more drinks than Phil but nowhere enough for him to be blackout wasted, and sure, Dan could be depressed but then what was the confession about if not something horrible and sad and–

“I need t’ tell you s’m’thin’ and it’s not gonna b’ easy so will you hold m’ hand, please?”

Phil held his hand. It was warm, and trembling. He could feel Dan’s veins pulse under the suntanned skin.

“I, uh …” Dan bit his lip. “I think I like guys.”

“Oh.”

The room went silent for a bit. Only their heartbeats and some sirens in the distance filled up the void.

Phil was gay. Dan knew he was. It’s not like Dan would think Phil had an issue with it – if anything, Phil was happy his best friend shared something so intimate with him. So what was the deal then? Why was he so nervous to tell him in the first place?

Phil looked at Dan and smiled, then brushed Dan’s hair off his cheek so Phil could look into his eyes. “I’m glad you told me.”

Dan let go of Phil’s hand then, and hid his face behind a pillow, giggling nervously. “Ah, I w’s so scared to tell ya!” he exclaims, then sighs and the room fills with a peaceful quiet. “I j’st hav’n’t really told anyone b’fore.”

“I understand. It’s hard to come out. I’m glad you trust me enough to tell you.”

They’ve always been touchy with each other, and it has always been natural. Cuddles while watching anime, holding hands when the other is sad, and when Phil was anxious he would even bite Dan now and then.

But somehow it didn’t feel the same when Dan reached out his hand to stroke Phil’s cheek, and somehow, it doesn’t feel weird either. It’s new, but in a good way.

“There’s somethin’ else,” Dan said. “And it might ruin our friendship so ya better apprecia’ that I’m tellin’ you th’s.”

Dan likes him. That’s gotta be it, right? What else could it be? Phil felt adrenaline rush through his entire body, like his nerves had been set on fire. He gulped, then looked into Dan’s eyes. “What is it?”

Dan started to fidget with his fingers, then biting his tongue. He took another deep breath. “Rem’mber 2009? Two years ago?”

“Yeah?”

Dan’s voice is trembling, almost too quiet to hear, but much more articulate than before. “When I told you I wanted you to be in my life forever I meant it.” He shook his head, then leant against the pillow. “I’m sorry, Phil, I really am. But I can’t get you out of m’ head. You’re just so p’rfect in ev’ry fuckin’ way so maybe I don’t like guys, I like … a guy.”

Despite his pounding heart, Phil feels frozen. Dan’s hand is still on his cheek. Phil isn’t sure what he should say, so he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he stares into Dan’s eyes and hopes he can convey what words he can’t say through his gaze.

“Phil?”

Phil takes a breath, and looks away from Dan to stare just beyond him.

“I…” Phil hesitates. Dan’s young, and drunk. He might not even remember this in the morning, for all Phil knows. Ok, sure, Dan sounds pretty sure of himself, but it could just be the drinks and the fact that Phil is one of the few mostly-open gay people Dan knows talking and not Dan.

“Dan, you’re drunk. You aren’t thinking straight - no pun intended. You can’t just- just-” Phil isn’t sure how he wants to finish his sentence but Dan seems to fill in the blanks in his own mind, correct or not, and his eyes fill with tears.

“D’you not… d’you not like me? ‘M I not good enough? Is ‘t cause ‘m young? D’you think I’m ugly?” And God does Phil’s heart break because nothing Dan is saying is true, but Phil is still not sure what he should say to console the crying boy in the bed with him because Dan is 20 and drunk and not fully in control of himself so Phil has to be a responsible adult despite his slightly tipsy brain encouraging him to just kiss Dan to shut him up.

So he compromises, says, “No, Dan, none of that, nothing like that, please don’t cry, please, it’s alright,” because his brain-to-mouth filter isn’t fully online and he’s lucky to not blurt out “I love you” in the middle of everything. He hopes, anyway, because he’s not fully sure what he’s saying.

What he is fully sure of is the way Dan seems to fit perfectly in his arms because somehow they ended up cuddling, Dan’s face pressed against Phil’s chest as his tears slowly dry and his breathing calms down.

A few minutes later, Phil’s stopped with the mindless soothing and Dan’s stopped with his drunken sobbing and Phil isn’t sure what he should do about the near-asleep Dan in his arms, because he sure as fuck doesn’t want Dan to move but he also doesn’t know if any of this is really ok given the circumstances. Then again, if Dan is as drunk as he’s acting he won’t remember this and Phil can pass it off off as… something.

Luckily Dan solves his problem for him by wrapping his arm around Phil and holding him, essentially trapping Phil so that even if he wanted to he couldn’t move away.

“Dan?” Phil murmurs, whisper quiet, because he wants to see if Dan’s awake right now without waking him up if he’s asleep.

Dan just hums in response, a questioning noise that’s probably the only sound he can make with how his face is currently squished against Phil.

“If you… want to talk, about any of this, in the morning, just tell me, ok? I don’t know how much of tonight you’ll remember.”

Except Dan is silent, and Phil realises he must’ve fallen asleep. With that in mind, he adjusts himself to fit better with Dan now cuddling him and settles down, sleep taking him quickly.

***

Morning arrives and Dan wakes up first. His head is pounding a bit and his eyes take a moment to adjust. When he rolls over, he gets a head full of hair in his face and he sputters as he sits up and realizes he’s sharing his bed with Phil.

He’ll be honest when he says that he can’t fully remember the conversations at hand from the night before. Maybe it’s because his head is a bit cloudy and his mind is still reeling from the drinks the night before.

His bladder begins to throb and he realizes he should get up and go make his way to the guest bathroom. He can vaguely remember from all of the times he’s visited Bryony how her flat is laid out. He stumbles out of bed and makes his way down the hallway and into the bathroom.

Dan relieves himself and then makes his way to the sink and splashes his face with water. When he walks out, Bryony is just making her way out of her room and they nearly run into each other which causes them to stop in their tracks.

“How did you sleep?” She asked, folding her arms over her chest.

“Alright,” Dan answers. “Could go for some paracetamol and a coffee though.”

“I’ll go make us a pot,” Bryony smirked, walking past him towards her kitchen.

Dan heads back into the guest bedroom to gather some of his stuff when he notices Phil is sitting up in their shared bed, stretching his arms and back. Dan gives him a soft smile but he notices quite quickly that Phil doesn’t seem alright. His face is bit paler than normal and his eyes are a bit bloodshot.

“Are you alright?” Dan asks. “Are you ill?”

Phil shakes his head. “No. Just...didn’t sleep well.”

“Oh.”

There is a string of silence between them and the tension between them could be pulled tight like a string.

“Do...do you remember our conversation last night?” Phil asks out of the blue just as Dan turns to leave the room.

Dan sits down on the edge of the bed and furrows his brows because...no. He doesn’t actually know what quite happened last night. He remembers having a few drinks and having to share a bed with Phil. Maybe in the back of his head he can remember the hint of a conversation but…

“No. I don’t think so.”

Phil takes in a long breath and blows it out slowly. “Thought that might be the case.”

“Why?” Dan asks, his heart suddenly picking up it’s speed. “What did we talk about?”

Phil shakes his head. “If you don’t remember, I don’t want to seem weird by bringing it up.”

Dan cocks his head. “But it was clearly something...big...if you’re being weird about it.”

“Who says I’m being weird?” Phil asks and suddenly the tension is thick again.

“You’re being weird right now!” Dan says, pointing at Phil.

Phil looks down at the empty space of comforter between them and looks up. “You told me you were into guys, Dan.”

Dan feels like his heart was in his throat. His stomach was twisting and turning and he felt like he might sick any moment. He was having trouble comprehending that he had told Phil something that was so personal to him. This was something that he had been struggling with for years and surely, he didn’t spill all of those thoughts out to Phil last night when he was drunk?

But he had to. How else would Phil have possibly known, right?

“Yeah, see I made it weird.” Phil says, his voice soft. “We can forget the conversation ever happened if it makes you feel any more comfortable.”

Dan shakes his head and puts his hands out. “No.” Dan says. “I mean, it’s true, isn’t it?”

Phil looks up, his eyes a bit wide.

Dan takes a deep breath and fights off the feelings building in his chest and the pressure increasing behind his eyes. “I like guys.”

Phil stutters for a moment and then lets out a breath. “Me too.”

Dan lets out a relieved chuckle and smiles. “Apparently drunk me must have been more eloquent than sober me.”

Phil shrugged. “Well, drunk Dan always ends up losing his inhibitions anyway. Remember the first time you got drunk and told me how much you enjoyed Taylor Swift and you raved about her music for an hour?”

Dan blushed and leaned over, knocking into Phil’s shoulder with his own.

“We won’t speak of that.”

“But we will speak about this right?” Phil asks, biting his lip. “We’ll speak about this one day?”

Dan nods. “Let’s wait until we’re home.”

Phil nods and lets out a soft smile.

“When we’re home.”

They both share a quick glance at each just as Bryony knocks on the door and opens it slowly. “Are you two bloody getting out of bed at some point? I just made coffee and it’s going to get cold.”

Dan just laughed out the tension still sitting in his core and Phil did the same as they both stood up and followed Bryony out.

This was a beginning for both of them and in time, they can both speak more about their thoughts and feelings. But right now, this was all Dan needed to make himself feel even more at home with Phil.

[amazignphil]

I know exactly what you mean when you say "Blank" it has happened to me so many times and it never gets better. But for the prompt thing I was thinking "A cup of coffee for your thoughts?" And "Hollow" it's okay if you use only ine, that's fine!

I wanted to put it under a cut but fucking Tumblr won't let me. But thank you Nonnie!!! This was supposed to be like 500words or something idk how long this is I typed in my phone sjsjsjsjj

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

Waking up and the morning sun were the two things Dan hated the most except maybe after his questionable first videos and his habit of dropping everything either randomly or behind something.

Having very rudely being woken up by the way-too-shiny beaming rays of the sun at the ass crack of---

Dan rolled over, careful not to disturb the warm mass next to him and checked the time.

The ass crack if 7-fucking-am. Off to a wonderful start, he supposed.

He rolled over once again, curling up next to the mop of now sort-of-brownish (but they don't talk about that) and trying to get some more sleep before he inevitably can't lay around in bed anymore and his stomach resorts to starting a fire in his pit and rhe only way to put it out would be copious amounts of cereal.

Dan groaned, sitting up. As much as he liked his bed to sleep in it forever and hates morning as much as his audience hates his peace signs, once he's awake, he's awake. No remedying it. He very bregrudgingly gets out of bed ever so carefully. Which is why it takes him a good 10 minutes to just roll out if bed.

He thinks if the building hunger he can start to feel roaring inside him, but breakfast is for when Phil wakes up because that's what routine of years has bought them to. Waiting for each other to wake up and then watching an episode of an anime. He likes to think it's a good system.

But on hindsight, he forgets how fast his mind runs. And where exactly it goes when it does. Being awake at 7 in the morning, with he sun blaring and with absolutely nothing to di except lounge around in their living room, Dan's ever evasive brain wanders.

It wanders to a depth he doesn't like. It wanders to a hollow void inside of him that he doesn't like going back to, but does so anyway. Because this thoughts go stray and that's never a good sign. Because sometimes, his thoughts go to depths he didn't even know existed.

He wonders how his life would have been now if Phil had never responded to him or given him attention. Or why Phil hadn't gave up on him after the first few dates where he was so awkward that it was embarrassing. He wonders why Phil never complained when Dan clinged to him like a giant octopus but just with 4 lacking limbs.

And he wonders, how Phil still loves him despite everything. Despite him being him.

He doesn't even notice when Phil has woken up until he hears someone bump into the coffee table infront if him. And as much as he complains about his clumsiness, he can never get over how amazing Phil truly is.

Phil sets down two two steaming mugs of coffee on the table, walking around and sitting down next to Dan and Dan's brain wanders again. And he's asking himself what he ever did to deserve this. He's never going to say it out loud, because the absolute look of disbelief that will cross Phil's face ("Dan. That's the stupidest question I have heard you ask and I have filmed years worth if gaming videos with you.") is not something he wants to see right now... or ever.

He feels a soft of press of lips against the crown of his hair and he suppresses a smile that immediately conjured on his face at the small yet so intimate action.

"A cup of coffee for your thoughts?" Phil asks, wrapping an around Dan's shoulder when he leans into him and he can't but feel warm. Phil's pretty sure he smells warmth too but Dan always disagrees.

"Nah. Just...you know. Running mind. Early morning. Nothing new." Dan doesn't fidget but he shifts slightly in Phil's hold and that Phil pressing another soft kiss onto Dan's forehead and then he whispers ever so gently against his lips,

"It's alright. I'm here. I'm here." Dan couldn't even try to suppress the smile this time.

.

Fin

[switchdnp]

Mine...

Summary: In the world, there are different types of people. The alpha, beta and omega. These three plays a huge role on everyone’s lives and it usually determines what one’s place in the society is. The alphas, the people who are commonly those in power, the highest of the three types. They’re usually CEOs and government officials where they get to show their abilities that far surpasses betas and omegas. The omegas on the other hand, are those who are at the lowest class of the society. Omegas also have heats which enthralls alphas & betas and makes them lose their wit; the primal urge to breed will be the only thing that they’ll think about which usually ends up in forced sexual intercourse. Betas are the average kinds of people who have normal jobs. They are 80% of the world’s population while the omegas are only 5%. Phil Lester is one of those average people. Or that’s what he thought.

Word Count: 1,441

Read on Ao3

In the world, there are different types of people. The alpha, beta and omega. These three plays a huge role on everyone’s lives and it usually determines what one’s place in the society is.

The alphas, the people who are commonly those in power, the highest of the three types. They’re usually CEOs and government officials where they get to show their abilities that far surpasses betas and omegas. The omegas on the other hand, are those who are at the lowest class of the society.

Omegas also have heats which enthralls alphas & betas and makes them lose their wit; the primal urge to breed will be the only thing that they’ll think about which usually ends up in forced sexual intercourse.

Betas are the average kinds of people who have normal jobs. They are 80% of the world’s population while the omegas are only 5%. Phil Lester is one of those average people. Or that’s what he thought.

It started off as a normal day where Phil wakes up on his bed, squinting at the sunlight that shines from his window. He reaches on his bedside table for his glasses and looks at the time, shocked to see that it’s only half past seven. He normally wakes up at 9 or 10 am but he brushes it off and goes straight to the bathroom. For some reason, he’s been feeling all hot and uncomfortable as soon as he woke up. He figured that a nice cold bath would help ease the hotness that he’s feeling but after he’s done, the hotness that seems to be emanating all over his body came back.

He figured that he might be sick so he tries to make his way over to the kitchen where all the meds are kept with just a towel on his torso. However, the walk to the kitchen sounds like something that he just couldn’t do at the moment, his knees feels like jelly when he walks and the feeling of hotness seems to be getting stronger. Suddenly, he remembered that he’s not alone in the house. He’s been living with his best friend, who is an alpha, for a year now. So he goes over to his friend’s room and knocks on it, he tries to knock a bit harder but his muscles wouldn’t respond to him. He only managed three light taps before his legs gave out. Everything feels so overwhelming, he’s panting so hard and everything hurts. He sobs as he feels something wet beneathe him. Phil felt like he’s gonna die when Dan opened the door to his room, still looking half-asleep.

“Phil…?” Dan’s eyes opened wide awake when he saw Phil on the floor, sobbing. He immediately knelt down to comfort his friend and see what’s wrong and that’s when it hits him. The smell of an omega in heat wafts in the room. Phil’s pheromones are too strong and he thinks that he might be able to smell him even from a mile away. But how could that happen, when Phil’s a beta? Unless if he’s an omega who developed late then it’s possible.

"Shhhh... it's fine, I'm here." Dan lifts Phil up and growls when Phil's scent invades all his senses. He carries Phil back to his room and sets him down gently on the bed. As soon as Dan removed himself from Phil, Phil turns around, towel falling off of him. He grinds on the bed whilst smelling Dan's pillows and bedsheets. Letting out groans of pain.

“Fuck, Phil! I don’t have that much self control and you smell so fucking good…” Dan just stands there thinking about going over to Phil or leaving the room and locking the door so that he won’t be able to go inside and ravage Phil. He feels the nails of his fingers dig through the palm of his hand from folding it so tightly, his breathing gets ragged and he suppresses the growls that’s trying to come out from the back of his throat.

“Oh please, I-I need you…” Phil whines and cries out as more slick comes out of him, wetting Dan’s bedsheets as it drips down his thighs. Phil lets a moan of discomfort when his alpha refuses to help him. Phil’s pheromones increases by the minute and Dan could already feel his self-control withering. Dan punches the wall of his room thinking about the consequences of whatever he’s about to do. Phil is in heat, even though he loves him more than a friend, he knows that Phil would be even more in pain if he wakes up tomorrow and remembers that he let Dan defile him when he’s vulnerable.

That thought however, was soon forgotten when he saw that Phil now has his fingers in his ass and crying that it’s not enough, that he needs Dan, his alpha. As soon as Dan heard Phil call him his alpha, he lost it. Eyes turning almost all black, consuming his dark brown irises. Letting his own body do what it wants him to do. He walks fast to where Phil is and swats his hands away from his ass. With Phil on all fours, he pushes Phil’s head down on the bed and caresses his plump ass, peppering bruising kisses all over Phil’s body. He hastily removes all of his pyjama pants which is the only thing that he has on and starts to eat Phil out while stroking his own dick. He laps at Phil harshly, relishing in the muffled sounds of Phil’s moans.

“You taste so fucking good, my omega…” Phil didn’t know how or why it happened but he suddenly came with a muffled shout. But it’s not enough, he’s still hard, he wants Dan and he wants it right now.

“Please, I need you in me…” Phil pants, still recovering from his high, thighs trembling and lips quivering.

“I got you,” Dan says as he kissed Phil’s hole one more time, using the slick from Phil as lube and in one hard thrust he’s all inside Phil. He’s huge but there wasn’t any resistance from Phil, he got inside smoothly and he wastes no time, starting out at a rough and relentless pace. Dan removes his hold on Phil’s head and kisses Phil as he thrusts in deeper. Phil choked on a sob when Dan hit whatever the hell it was that had him coming again. But Dan wasn’t having any of it and continues his brutal pace, hitting that place within Phil in every thrust. Phil couldn’t do anything but to take it, moaning in pleasure.

“Mine…”

“Yes, y-yours!”

Soon, Dan growls and he feels the knot form on the base of his cock and with a thrust, it goes inside Phil. Dan pulls Phil’s hair and bites his neck, successfully marking Phil. Phil hisses at the pain and shivers when Dan laps up at his wound. Dan whispers sweet nothings to Phil’s ear, telling him how he did a good job and how perfect Phil is for him, how amazing he’d be with his child. Phil whimpers at the feeling of Dan’s load going in him, trapped by the knot that securely held both of them in place.

When Dan feels that the knot loosened, he pulls out his soft cock from Phil and caresses the parts of Phil’s body that he’d made a mark on. Phil’s back is full of reddish purple spots and his neck is still a bit bleeding. He turns Phil over gently and saw that Phil’s so out of it that he can’t even talk to him. Dan kisses Phil’s lips, then his forehead, then his nose and cheeks. When Phil looked like he’s conscious again, Dan got up and took the responsibility to clean them both. Not saying a word as he wipes Phil, slighly grimacing at some of the love bites he made. When they’re both cleaned up, he lays beside Phil and pulls Phil towards him.

“I hope you know that now that you’re mine, I’m never letting you go even if you tried.” Dan mumbles, hoping that now that Phil’s heat subsides, he wouldn’t push him away but even if he does, he wants him to know that he wouldn’t go or that he’s not gonna stop being his friend.

“I thought you claimed me already? I’m yours, right?” Phil smiles up at Dan brightly, he may be confused about the sudden heat and the pain that it caused but he’s not complaining if it meant that he get to have Dan for real, not just his best friend. Dan was surprised about Phil’s answer but he’s also genuinely happy that Phil wants him still.

“Yes, you’re mine. Just like I’m yours as well.” Phil’s heart soared when Dan told him that he was his as well. He feels safe in Dan’s arms, and Dan was glad that he get to be Phil’s alpha. Both drifted off to sleep feeling loved and satiated, wishing that this moment would last forever.

[hiddenphangirl]

Curly Brown Hair, Cute Little Dimples, and Sparkling Blue Eyes

Description: Phil loves to do dumb things when he's drunk, but maybe somewhere in there he's got the right idea.

Warning(s): Mentions of alcohol, vomiting, implied smut and of course mpreg

Words: 3,860

Read on Ao3  Read on Wattpad

*****

Dan and Phil stumbled through their front door in a fit of giggles. They had just got back from a party at PJ's where they had a bit too much to drink.

They leaned against each other as they made their way up the stairs, trying not to trip. Once they got into the lounge the both of them flopped down on the sofa with a sigh of relief. "Did you've a good time?" Phil slurred slightly, staring at Dan's flushed cheeks and wide smile.

"I had the bestest time, I loved it did you love it?" Dan asked as he laid his head down on Phil's lap.

"I loved it," Phil said looking down at the beautifully drunk boy. "And I love you too," Phil gently ran his hand through Dan's hair.

Dan smiled up at him "I love you too," he reached up and pulled Phil down for a loving and messy kiss; their teeth clashed and it was sloppy but to them it was perfect. Dan was out of breath and probably more drunk on Phil than he was on the alcohol by the time the disconnected.

Phil's heart swelled at the sight of Dan in bliss from their kiss. "You should know I really really love you, you're my soulmate every time I look at you I feel all warm inside. I don't know what I'd do without you because not being around you for just a couple of days is torture I just want to hold you and kiss you and tell you how much I love you," Phil sighed dotingly, Dan had his entire heart and Phil wanted him to keep it forever.

The way Phil looked at him made Dan's heart flutter, Phil never talked this much about how much he loved Dan he always showed it through the things he did, the way he'd look at Dan, the way he'd touch him, the way he'd hold him close at night. Dan knew it was the alcohol lowering his inhibitions but it made Dan go soft. "Lay down with me," Dan leaned up to give Phil a kiss but caught the side of his mouth instead.

Dan sat up to let Phil lie down next to him. Phil was still in awe that he was lucky enough to have Dan in his life; so many things could've gone wrong but Dan was still here and still loved him. As long as they had each other they could get through anything.

"Hi," Dan said fondly as Phil laid down next to him, locked their legs together and started playing with Dan's hair.

"Hi," Phil stared at Dan's beautiful eyes, cute little nose, lightly freckled cheeks, and curly hair that he absolutely adored. He was the most beautiful man in the world. Phil couldn't help but wonder what their children would look like when the time came. Curly little hair, Dan's dimples, Phil's eyes and maybe they'd have a few freckles; Any combination Phil made in his head was the most adorable thing he could imagine, it all made Phil a bit broody.

Phil couldn't stop imagining what it'd be like to watch Dan be pregnant knowing that he was carrying their little muffin, getting excited over seeing them for the first time, preparing for them to arrive, holding them in his arms for the first time, telling them crazy stories about the adventures him and Dan had gone on. Just being a parent but most of all getting to be a parent with the one person he loved most in the world and give their child the best life possible.

Phil's heart squeezed at the thought, he couldn't wait another three years or more before they would have a baby.

When Phil came out of his daydream Dan's eyes were closed. "Dan?"

"yes?" Dan said sluggishly

"Can we've a child?" Phil asked practically begging

"Wat?" Dan's eyes popped wide open the moment he heard Phil's words

"I want to've a baby, well I don't want to've a baby, I mean if I could I definitely would but I wasn't given that gift and you were so I'm saying I want us to have a baby. But before you say no just imagine how cute they'd be with your curly hair, dimples, and my eyes. And I know it'll be hard work but please monkey can we have a baby?"

Dan could barely think, he was still very drunk, super tired and Phil was just speaking too fast for anything he said to make sense. "...okay -" Dan started speaking very slowly "-we can have a baby, just not now because we're too drunk to make this big decision and you're not thinking things all the way out. Like where would we put it w-"

Dan was cut off by Phil "In you, silly" Phil chuckled

Dan smiled, Phil was an idiot but that's part of the reason why he loved him. "I meant after it gets here."

Phil looked as if he were thinking for a moment. "We're planning to move anyway so we could just look for a place big enough for all of us"

Dan tried to think it over for a moment but his head was getting a bit hazy and he was so tired; he closed his eyes.

"Dan?"

"Hmm? Okay, yeah" Dan mumbled with his eyes still closed.

"Really?!" Phil jumped up, almost falling if it weren't for the arm of the couch, his face broke out into a wide smile as he rebalanced himself and his eyes seemed like they were shining. Though Dan couldn't see it because he was too busy trying to find a comfortable spot on the couch. Phil was too drunk to notice that Dan was already half asleep and his mind was preoccupied with thoughts of their future. "I'm so excited, can we start tomorrow?" Phil looked down at Dan who was quickly on his way to being out for the night.

Phil gently shook Dan's shoulder and quietly asked his question again "Dan? Can we start tomorrow?"

"Mhmm," after hearing that Phil got the blanket that they always kept on the back of the couch and draped it over Dan. He gave him a kiss on the forehead before whispering "Okay, I'm gonna go get started. Love you, goodnight."

Phil leaned himself up against the wall as he walked the hallway because he was having a hard time staying on his own two feet.

Phil opened the door to their bedroom and stumbled into the connected bathroom.

Phil opened the medicine cabinet in search of "Dan's little bottle of tiny blue pills" as Phil called it.

"We're'nt gonna need these anymore," Phil said as he slowly poured the pills into the sink, watching as they went down the drain.

After Phil was done he saw a safety pin on the counter and thought why not? He opened the bottom cabinet and pulled out the box of condoms.

~~~~ Dan woke up on the couch alone with a splitting headache. He groaned as he sat up and opened his eyes to the glaring sunlight.

"Fucking Christ," Dan rubbed his eyes as he stood up. Why was the sun always so fucking bright? Dan would've liked for the sun to have a dimmer switch or for him to be immune to hangovers.

It was probably way too early for Dan to be up and he desperately needed to get back to his notably less bright room. Maybe Dan could go back to sleep once he found Phil, and some medicine.

Dan dragged himself through the house, calling out Phil's name into every room he passed on the way to their bedroom. He hoped that Phil was in their bedroom because he was too tired and hungover to walk around their flat looking for him. Every step he took caused his brain to throb in pain.

"Phil?" Dan called out Phil's name one last time as loudly as he could without causing his headache to worsen before he walked into their bedroom.

Dan was more than a little disappointed when he walked into their room and saw that Phil wasn't in bed. He didn't want to go back to sleep without him but it looked like that was going to be the case.

Dan shuffled towards their connected bathroom. If he couldn't have Phil then at least he could have medicine

Dan pushed the slightly cracked door completely open. "What the... hell?" Dan was confused at the scene before him. Phil was asleep on the bathroom floor, his arm was wrapped around the bottom of the toilet, there were a bunch of condoms randomly scattered around the bathroom and a few of them were laying on Phil's body. There was even one on his forehead.

Dan had to get a picture of this before he woke Phil up, he had even considered leaving Phil on the floor for a second but thought better of it. He ran back to the couch, found his phone deep inside the couch and ran back. Once he stopped running he decided that it would have been smarter if he had just walk because his headache had gotten so much worse.

Dan put his phone on the counter after he was finished taking the pictures that he would probably hold over Phil's head forever and went to wake up Phil. Dan felt bad for him having to sleep on the nasty cold tile floor. Dan assumed that he must've gotten sick in the middle of the night but that still didn't explain the condoms.

Dan swept Phil's messy hair off his forehead before he gently shook him awake. "Phil, come on wake up. I'm pretty sure you've been on this floor long enough,"

Phil scrunched his face up, it would've been cute if he hadn't accidentally stuck his hand in the toilet bowl as he sat up. "Ah, what is this?!" Phil held his hand out to Dan and placed his head in the palm of his other hand because it felt like someone had just kicked him in the head really hard.

"It's toilet water," Dan laughed.

"Oh god get it off of me please," Phil begged

Dan couldn't stop laughing as he picked up a stray towel off the floor and helped Phil dry of his hand.

"Are you going to open your eyes anytime soon?"

"I'd rather not get blinded by sunlight right now," Phil said as he cupped his hands over his eyes.

"Come on, the blinds are closed. Open them," Dan said as he pried Phil's hands off from covering up his eyes.

Phil opened his eyes and looked down at his lap with a puzzled look on his face. "Why... why are there condoms in my laps?" Phil looked up at Dan for him to answer his question.

"I don't know, I was hoping that you did. My best guess is that you came in here to have a party with yourself," Dan chuckled at the thought and so did Phil. "What's the last thing you remember doing from last night?"

"Um I think me telling you I love you a bunch of times but I'm not completely sure," Phil looked around the bathroom seeing condoms everywhere, maybe he really was having a party with himself.

"Well we'll probably figure it out sooner or later," Dan looked around and sighed. He stood up and opened the medicine cabinet for some ibuprofen but he noticed something was missing and looked down to find that the pill bottle that held his contraceptive was completely empty. "Phil?"

"Yeah?" Phil looked up as Dan picked up the empty container and showed it to Phil.

"What the hell happened to all of my pills?"

"I-I don't know?" Phil stood up, causing for about six condoms fall to the floor and one awkwardly stuck in his waistband.

"Phil, what did you do with them? Oh my god, did you eat them?!"

"I certainly hope not," Phil wrapped his hands around his stomach worried about what the pills would do to him if he actually ate them.

Dan sighed and held his face in his hands, "You always do stupid things when you're drunk, do you remember that time you made a bet with Martyn that if you dropped your new phone in your drink it wouldn't break? Or that time you tried to microwave a spoon on purpose?"

Phil walked over to Dan. "Okay I'm sorry, drunk me does some pretty stupid things and besides the brain splitting headache I have right now, I'm feeling fine. Maybe I didn't even eat them," Phil gave Dan a kiss on his forehead, reached behind him and grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen giving him and Dan two each.

"Thank you," Dan said after he took the medicine down with the water that Phil had got for them. "But this doesn't make up for you doing away with my pills,"

"It doesn't?" Phil said suggestively as he got closer to Dan.

"Nope," Dan leaned in until he could feel Phil's breath against his lips.

"Hm," Phil leaned in until he made a b-line for Dan's ear "maybe I can make it up to you later," He whispered before he took Dan's ear lobe between his teeth, grazed it and then trailed soft warm kisses from Dan's jaw to his neck where he sucked lightly on Dan's sweet spot that always left him feeling weak and tingly. Then suddenly, he stopped.

"So I'm thinking we take a shower and then go back to sleep, what do you think?" Phil said in a calm and collected voice as if nothing had just happened as he picked the condoms up off the floor.

Dan was very close to strangling Phil for teasing him. "I hate you," Dan said as he walked out of the bathroom

Dan didn't see it but Phil had possibly the biggest smirk on his face until he joined Dan in bed a few minutes later.

~~~~~

Phil woke up alone in bed this wasn't at all usual but for the past few days Dan had been getting up really early in the morning to get himself a snack because he was starving and Phil summed that up to the fact that he'd been getting sick a lot lately too.

It was really strange, pretty much anything could make Dan sick. The first time it happened they were about to start movie night, Phil had just brought in the popcorn and suddenly Dan was up, running to the bathroom. Yesterday it was because of Phil's new body wash which Dan made him throw out because he couldn't handle the smell.

At first, they thought it was food poisoning from the Chinese take out they had the night before it started but then it seemed like anything that Dan's nose didn't agree with sent him hurling.

It worried Phil but Dan seemed to be fine with it like it was normal, yesterday Phil woke up to find Dan messily eating peanut butter and crackers in bed next to him. Dan usually brought whatever snack he got himself back to bed with him, so Phil wondered what was taking Dan so long this time.

Just as he was about to convince himself to get up and go look for Dan, Phil heard the sound of the toilet flushing. Maybe Dan didn't like the smell of their detergent Phil thought.

Phil waited for Dan and a few minutes later he came out of the bathroom with his head down and slowly walked towards the bed. "Hey, did the way the bed sheets smell make you sick? Because if so I'll take them off and switch them out for the other ones," Dan just shook his head as he climbed into bed next to Phil, still not looking up.

Phil was worried, Dan hadn't been sick, yet he looked like something was bothering him. Phil wrapped his hands around Dan and pulled him closer to him. Phil's hand made its way under Dan's shirt and he slowly rubbed little circles into Dan's back. Dan put his head on Phil's shoulder, closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Dan was worried, his suspicions for what was making him sick had been confirmed, not once but three times in fact. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing it's just that he was worrying over how Phil would take the news. Being in Phil's arms however, made him feel better no matter what. Dan wished that for now he could just forget about it and go back to sleep but he couldn't do that. And he also couldn't do without him, just thinking about losing Phil brought him to tears. Tears fell down the side of his face and onto Phil's shoulder.

Dan was crying and Phil didn't know why. Had he done something wrong? Was today important and he forgot about it? Did something happen while he was asleep?

It hurt Phil to know that Dan was hurting and he didn't know how to fix it. Phil held Dan closer to his chest trying to somehow protect Dan from whatever was hurting him. "Dan, what's wrong?"

Dan opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it, he didn't know what to say, he didn't want to say what he had to. He knew he was probably overreacting but even the slightest possibility of losing Phil was too much to handle.

"Dan?" Phil was wrecked with worry

"It's okay," Dan said shakingly more to himself rather than Phil. Dan tried to think rationality rather than emotionally; Phil wants kids they both do, they've talked about it hundreds of times before. Something like this wouldn't drive him away, Phil loves him he wouldn't ever leave him. Dan knew that for a fact and with that thought in mind he took a deep breath and sat up, putting his back against the headboard of the bed.

Phil followed suit. They sat there quietly for a few minutes while Dan built up the courage to tell Phil what was wrong. Phil knew Dan needed time to sort out whatever he needed to say in his head and he patiently waited for him. Phil noticed that Dan was picking at his fingers very adamantly, it was sort of a nervous habit for him though it usually ended up with him bitting on his fingers. So Phil slid his hand inbetween Dan's and laced their fingers together. He gave Dan a reassuring smile and gently kiss his knuckles which made Dan's heart swell.

After a while, Dan finally spoke. "I know this isn't how or probably when we wanted this to happen but..." Dan paused and took a deep breath before he spoke again. "I'm pregnant,"

"W-what?" Phil felt like his heart had jumped up into his throat.

"I'm pregnant Phil," Dan squeezed the hand that was locked with Phil's.

Phil froze like a deer in headlights. For a moment Dan was afraid that he wasn't breathing. Phil's brain tried to process what Dan had just told him but it didn't seem to make sense, it didn't even feel real. His heart couldn't decide between being ecstatic or terrified but, Phil decided to shove his fears down momentarily so that he could shower Dan and his unborn child in copious amounts of love.

Dan had been watching Phil go through a ray of emotions, by the end of it he had tears in his eyes.

Dan's heart tugged a little when Phil wordlessly kissed his tummy and rested his head on it.

"Dan?" Phil said just as he started rubbing at Dan's sides

"Yes?" Dan croaked, he was trying hard not to cry in that moment. He didn't know exactly why he was about to cry he just knew that all of his emotions were just too much to hold inside.

"You're going to get huge, I can't wait until I can balance bowls on your belly," Phil said jokingly as he circled his finger around Dan's belly button.

Dan put his forearm over his eyes and shook his head. Phil always had a way of making the heavy moments a little lighter and Dan loved him for it. "And I'll massage your feet and talk to our baby every night," Dan felt himself tear up again, god what was wrong with him? If it's going to be like this then he'll be crying every day for the next 8 months.

Phil gave Dan's tummy one final kiss before he sat up and softly kissed Dan's cheek; still resting his hand on Dan's tummy. "I hope they'll look like you, " Phil spoke softly as he rested his forehead against Dan's. "I hope they'll have your dimples, your beautiful curly hair, and my sparkling eyes,"

Dan laughed, "You must really not want them to have my eyes,"

Phil looked at Dan confused "huh? But I absolutely love your eyes, I wouldn't mind if they had them,"

"Well, that's what you said last time,"

Phil was still completely confused "last time? When was that?"

Dan rolled his eyes because he knows Phil was drunk but he couldn't have been that drunk right? "You know that night after Pj's party we were on the couch and you started talking about how much you love me and want to have a baby with me,"

"... and then the next morning you found me on the floor bathroom covered in condoms and all your pills were missing," Phil stared off into space as he remembered exactly what he did that night. "Oh my god," Phil muttered as he dropped his head onto Dan's shoulder.

"What?" Now it was Dan's turn to be confused.

"I sabotaged our contraceptives," Phil said soundings kind of guilty

"Wha- No you didn't?"

Phil sighed "Yes I did,"

"How?"

Phil took a deep breath "Well after our conversation on the couch I went into the bathroom to make sure that we had a baby as soon as possible so I may have poured all your pills down the drain and I- Well I poked holes in most of our condoms before I passed out," Phil lifted his head up to gauge Dan's reaction.

"Oh my god, you did," Dan was dumbfounded. It was quiet for a moment with just Dan and Phil staring at each other before Dan suddenly burst out laughing "Oh my god you're such an idiot, I can't believe ate my pills and poked holes in the condoms just so that we could have a kid. You know there are other ways right?"

Phil started laughing too he couldn't help but laugh when Dan did, it was contagious "Hey! I was drunk and I didn't eat the pills,"

"Well, that's not what I'm going to tell our child so you better get used to my story,"

"But they'll think I'm crazy," Phil whined

Dan deadpanned "And you're not?"

"Fine, fine you're right I definitely am,"

"That's right," Dan said as he leaned in to kiss Phil slow and soft. "And we love you for it."

[phanfictrashalex]

04:00

tw: getting kicked out

When his mom came home from work that night, Phil came over to check on Dan once more before heading to bed for the night. He went upstairs into Dan's room to see his body laying on the ground. The notes that he wrote for them were beside him, and all Phil knew how to do at that moment was cry. He went downstairs to find Dan's mother. "What's wrong?" She looked at Phil with worry in her eyes. "Dan, it's Dan." Phil went back upstairs with Dan's mom following behind him. Phil decided to read the note that Dan had left for him while his mother called for an ambulance. Upon reading it he realised that Dan had the same feelings about him as he did Dan, he held his hand. The sight of Dan's cold, pale body was almost too much for him. After the ambulance got there, Dan was rushed to the hospital. "Phil? Are you okay with going?" "Yeah, of course, I just need to text my parents and tell them what I'm doing." After doing so, they went to the hospital and waited for Dan to wake up. His pulse was still there, and the doctors said that he should be okay. Now all they had to do was wait for him to wake up. Phil couldn't imagine what Dan was going through, the boy that he's fallen in love with since the first time that he saw him. He understood that it wasn't his fault, but that's all he could think about: what are ways that he could've stopped Dan from doing this in the first place. He didn't like to see Dan in pain and he was amazing at hiding it, but he knew something was off that day and didn't question it any further. Dan wasn't as smiley and bubbly as he normally is, even if he was trying to hide the pain that he was going through he was always smiling and trying to cheer people up. - Dan slowly opened his eyes, the white light blinding him as he did so. It was the first time that he'd been awake in what felt like forever. It had been almost 18 hours since he'd passed out from the pills. "Dan?" He saw his mom looking at him. "Thank god you're awake!" He saw someone else sleeping in the chair that was beside hers. Dan was able to make it out as Phil, he was there with his mom waiting for him to wake up. "How much longer do I have to be here?" "Probably a day or two," she hears Dan sigh. He knew that with whatever possibility of him making it would mean that they were going to shove antidepressants in his face and make him take them. "I'm sorry," "Sorry for what?" "Putting you through that pain of seeing me passed out on the floor, thinking that I wasn't going to make it because, in reality, I didn't know I was going to make it either." Some realistic dream is what made him wake up. He was getting married, but not to a woman. Dan was getting married to Phil. "Dan, it's okay, I'm just glad that you're alive." Dan nodded, "Yeah me too," - It was about an hour later, his mother had stepped out of the room for a bit. He saw Phil slowly waking up and coming to his senses. "Dan?" "Phil?" "Oh my god, I'm so glad that you're okay," Phil said, tears already coming down his face, "You had me so worried." "I know, I'm sorry," Phil pulled Dan in for a hug the best that he could. "I hope that you know that none of this is your fault. There's a lot more behind it then just me being gay and realising my sexuality." "I know, Dan, I know. I just couldn't help but feel like that." Dan looked at Phil's eyes. He was still crying, but not as hard as before. His eyes were a light crystal blue colour, matching his black hair. He reached to Phil's face to wipe the tears that were falling from his eyes. Dan pulled Phil in for another hug, kissing the top of his head. "Thank you for caring about me," His mom came back in the room and the boys separated, Phil going back to sit in the chair that he was napping in. - It was the day that Dan was finally getting out of the hospital. It had been a week since they put him in, and he'd been ready to get out since day one. He was glad to finally be back in his bed, the hospital beds were rock hard and the pillows felt like they weren't even there. It wasn't time for Phil to be home from school yet, so he knew that he wouldn't be over for another hour or two. Thinking about Phil sent butterflies to his stomach. This was what he would call falling in love with someone. He'd never thought about a person more in his life in the past week. Dan hated to see Phil cry over anything. He always wanted to pull him close to him and listen to his heartbeat. They've not discussed any of it, he told Dan that he read the letter but he didn't mention anything about the fact that Dan was in love with him. He knew the possibilities of Phil not liking him back were high, but he had a little hope. - Dan's mom is the one who let Phil in. He heard his name being called, so he went downstairs to see Phil crying. "My parents- they kicked me out," "What'd they kick you out for?" "I told them that I was gay." Dan wasn't surprised about it, from what Phil had told Dan about his parents and where they came from. But he was angry, he didn't understand how someone could do that to their child. "Do you want to stay here?" Dan's mom asked, "We have a guest bedroom that you could use," "That'd be lovely," Phil looked at her, "Thank you." She went upstairs to make sure that it was clean. When Dan knew that she was gone upstairs, he pulled Phil in for a hug. "I'm sorry that this has happened, Phil." "It's okay, I'll be fine, kind of expected it." Dan held him tight against his body, not wanting to let go. He finally did when he heard his mom coming back downstairs. "It should be fine to stay in if you want to show him where it is Dan." They went upstairs to the guest bedroom, Dan never went into it because it was mostly used for storage. Dan looked around at it, he didn't know what he was expecting to be in there. There was a bed, a dresser, and a few other furniture pieces that one would typically have in a bedroom. He looked back at Phil, he seemed to have relaxed a bit. Dan was glad to see that he wasn't crying any more. Phil went and sat on the bed, "Thank you for letting me stay here," he smiled at Dan. "Yeah, of course." "I'm glad you're out of the hospital." "Me too," Dan went and sat beside Phil. "Can we just lay here for a bit? I don't want to do anything else right now." Phil asked Dan. He nodded at Phil. That sounded like a good idea, he had just gotten out of the hospital and Phil was moving into his house. They both ended up falling asleep. Dan's mom woke them up for dinner, not expecting for them to be sharing a bed. "Dan, can I talk to you?" She asked, she wasn't going to tell them that they couldn't do that, but she was overall curious. They left Phil in the lounge and went into the kitchen. "Is this the boy you have a crush on?" Dan's face went red, he'd never really admitted it out loud and he felt that it was kind of weird that his mother was asking him about it. "Yeah, it is actually," "Okay, I was just curious. You two seem to get along together." Dan went back and sat with Phil while she made dinner for the three of them. "Did you have a good nap?" Dan asked. "Yeah, how about you?" "It was okay," "I have a question," Phil said, not looking at Dan. "Which is?" "Can we do that more often?" "What? Sleep in the same bed?" "Yeah, unless you don't want to then just forget about it." "I would like nothing more," Dan smiled at Phil. He liked sharing a bed with Phil because he was warm and good at cuddling. "After dinner, I want to ask you a few things if that's okay," Phil turned and looked at Dan. He was going to ask about his feelings, and he wanted to know what he meant in the note. Dan nodded, the only thing that could go through his mind then was rejection. He feared that Phil was going to make him knock it off, and he was scared that Phil didn't want to cuddle with him or even be with him like that. - They ate dinner and went back upstairs, but this time they went to Dan's room instead. He had a bigger bed and it was the room that the boys were most familiar with. "What did you mean by your note?" Phil asks, "I mean, I just want to know your feelings behind it." "What do you think?" Dan shrugs, "Do you want the truth?" Phil nodded. "Right, I've had a crush on you since you moved here." Phil looks at Dan in shock. That's not what he expected, but he honestly didn't know what he expected for Dan to say. Maybe 'I meant it as a friend lets not go any farther than that!' "I know you probably hate me now or whatever it's fine." Dan sighs. Phil then did something that came as a shock to both of them. His soft lips connected with Dan's, it was only for a few seconds. Dan thought he was dreaming, Phil gave the best kisses as well. "I didn't know how else to show you how much you meant to me in any other way," His eyes were shining a brighter colour now. One of fear, but not of regret. "I love you too, Dan." "I thought surely that you wouldn't like me back, Phil." This was overwhelming for Dan. He hadn't kissed anyone since his ex-girlfriend and she was terrible at it. She wasn't very great at cuddling either. But he didn't know these things until he was with Phil, even for a few seconds. He could be dreaming, but this was his high and he was going to ride it out. He wasn't high on sexual attraction, more like romantic attraction so strongly for someone that he doesn't know what else to do but cry. "Of course I do," Phil pulled Dan in to hold him, and that's how they fell asleep that night. Dan was against his chest, with his hands around him. He felt safe like this like nothing was going to hurt him, and that was the best feeling in the world.

[thomasvol6]

Do you remember? // Phanfiction

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: slight swearing, fluff, very light smut

Summary: Dan and Phil have been married for 16 years and one night in bed they decide to re-live their favourite moments together

“Can you sleep?”

“Not really”

“Same”

Phil rolled over to face his husband. They had been married for 16 years now but his heart still did that ‘flippy-over thing’ every time he looked in Dan’s eyes, just like it did the first time they kissed, back in 2009 on the Manchester Eye.

“Do you remember our first kiss?” Phil asked softly, still staring fondly at his husband’s eyes

“Oh so that’s where we’re going?” Dan replied chuckling at Phil’s cheesiness. He sometimes had these moments where he just started being incredibly cheesy and romantic, he had always had them and Dan surely couldn’t complain because he loved them.

“I was just thinking at how far we’ve come…I mean, 20 years ago we were lying on our bed, nervous as hell to publish PINOF 10, and now we are married and we have a 15 years old son and a 5 years old daughter together…time flies” Phil said as he started playing with a curl from Dan’s hair.

“Shit we’re going to die like tomorrow”

“Oh c’mon don’t kill the atmosphere with your sad thoughts”

“You’re right, sorry…by the way yes, I do remember our first kiss as well as our last one”

“Our last o-“ Phil didn’t manage to end his question because Dan had moved slightly forward to give him a quick kiss and rest his head on Phil’s shoulder

“We had been walking around Manchester for hours and decided to go for one ride on the wheel and then go home. You payed for both our tickets even though I had insisted that I wanted to pay and the man at the ticket booth pulled the most annoyed face ever because I wouldn’t stop insisting, so you took my hand and dragged me in our cabin. It was cabin number 22 and we were the only people around as it was a monday evening. You kept staring at me and I was like ‘fuck it’ so I leaned in like I was going to rest my head on your shoulder, but then I kissed you and you seemed so shocked that I was afraid I’d hurt you. You re-arranged my fringe and put your hand on mine and we just stayed like that for the rest of the ride, smiling at each other. Wait- are you crying? Oh baby I’m sorry!” said Dan whilst passing his thumb of Phil’s cheeks to dry his tears.

“I…I just got a little emotional, you made me travel back in time there, you know?” said Phil almost apologising.

“Why don’t you make me travel a bit now?”

“Sure, where do you want to go?”

“Mmh…maybe our first time? Too much?”

“No, not at all. Close your eyes though, okay? So…it was a couple months since our first kiss and you were coming to stay at my house for a whole week! I couldn’t wait to spend all that time with you and I remember our last skype call, the night before you came here, where you were so happy you couldn’t calm down so you ended up not managing to sleep a minute that night, and when you arrived here you were really tired. My mom, bless her, had prepared the guests room for you, even though I had told her that we were together. I’m pretty sure she was just fine with it and it was my dad to be over-protective about the whole thing so he asked mom to set up the guests room, but anyways…Where was I? Oh yes, you were knackered so I asked you if you wanted to just lay on the sofa and watch a movie together. Being geniuses, we watched Wall-e, like the saddest movie ever, and ended up crying like two babies by the end of it. At that point it was about 4pm and we agreed that if we had a nap we would never be able to sleep during the night, so we decided to go grocery shopping and cook dinner, since my parents had gone to visit my aunt up in Scotland for the week. We went out without our coats and regretted it immediately but we were both too lazy to go back up to get them, so we decided to freeze our way to the store. I think we had seen this recipe on TV earlier and for some reason decided to bake a chicken and aubergines pie, so we bought what we needed and practically ran back home as it was really really cold outside, you know, december…

As soon as we arrived home we were so cold that we decided to snuggle on my bed for a while before cooking and so we did, but then you started to tease me putting your hand on my thigh and kissing me. When I realised what you were doing, I started to do the same. I started stroking your thigh going everytime a little bit higher and closer to your crotch, until you started complaining about the teasing. You were the one who had started!”

Dan let out a chuckle at the memory but didn’t open his eyes, he was in full immersion.

“So…the rest you know” Phil stopped himself from telling the whole story because he knew it would have gotten both him and Dan horny and it would have been a mood killer.

“Yeah I do. Did you like it?” said Dan still keeping his eyes closed but smiling from ear to ear

“Of course I did, you dingo! It wasn’t as nice as it is now, maybe, because neither of us were experienced almost at all and especially not with each other, but it was a great first time. I mean, I had only been with a girl before you and let me just say it’s definitely not the same thing!”

“I hadn’t been with anyone before you, actually” said Dan, only at this point opening his eyes to look at his husband’s reaction

“Yeah I know babe, it was so obvious that you lied about not being a virgin!” answered Phil surprising Dan

“What?? You knew? Oh that’s embarrassing!”

“It’s not embarrassing at all! I actually like the idea that I’m the only one who ever fucked you”

“Philip Michael Lester Howell, first of all, did you just say ‘fuck’? And second of all, we’re 50 years old. I think ‘fucked you’ isn’t the best of ways to describe our love making”

“I’ll tell you what, Daniel James Howell Lester, I say whatever the fluff I want!” said Phil not managing to keep a straight face and bursting in laughter. They both cuckled for a while until Phil said “Hey, I want to travel more! Tell me about our wedding pleeeease”

He closed his eyes waiting for Dan to start telling the story but he was surprised by a quick soft kiss, and his blood started to go to his shoulder again as his husband had moved his head onto his own pillow.

“Sooo, let’s go back to 2022, shall we? I remember being so nervous I actually threw up a couple of times the night before and I wanted to call you so bad but I decided to be strong and ended up suffering alone, until my brother came to look for me in the bathroom. He knocked and came in without waiting for any reply and as soon as he saw the mess I was he sat next to me on the floor and put his hand on my knee, like a silent ‘I’m here’. After a couple minutes of silence I said something like ‘I really love him’ or ‘I love him so much’ and Adrian hugged me saying ‘I know you do’. I didn’t sleep a minute that night and was about to text you a million times but I actually only did it once, to say goodnight to you. You replied IMMEDIATELY and I remember thinking that maybe you were in my same situation” Dan stopped to check if Phil was still awake

“I was in the exact same situation, just without the throwing up part, you know my stomach is made of iron!” Phil said keeping his eyes shut.

“Yeah, I know. Anyways, when my mom came to wake me up in the morning she was really excited to see that I was already up and getting prepared. She said she had made pancakes for me downstairs and that my suit had been ironed and was waiting for me in the laundry room. I ate my pancakes and put on the suit, then went to check if Adrian was ready. He was still in his pj’s but the ring boxes were ready and his suit had been ironed too so it was no big deal. As soon as I saw you walking towards me in the wedding garden I completely forgot of any worryings or preoccupations and my heart was filled in with just love. I can’t even remember what the guy who married us was saying because all I could think of was how could you possibly look even more beautiful than usual in that suit. Yet, you did. I still remember, though, my votes. ‘Phil, I promise I’ll always be by your side: when you decide to dress up as punks, when you want to have 3-hour-breakfasts and when you want to live the rest of our lives together. I promise I will do the laundry every saturday as we decided 10 years ago, that I will tell you when I finish the milk and that I’ll take Nuki out for walkies more often. I love you Phil, I’ve loved you since when, back in 2008, I would watch your videos to relax, I loved you when you asked me to move in your flat and I loved you even more when you told me that there was powerful wifi- I mean…when you said that you loved me too’ Jesus, I think I will remember that forever” Dan said with a smile on his face

“That was a wonderful speech, I can imagine you remember that I couldn’t contain my tears, too” replied Phil, him smiling too.

“Your turn again! I want…mmh…the day we finally took Noah home please” said Dan closing his eyes again and settling down

“Okay, soooo 2023. It was the 31st march when they called us from the hospital saying that Noah was arriving. I remember literally grabbing our wallets and keys and RUNNING downstairs like the building was on fire. You almost got killed by a taxi whilst trying to get him to stop, which ended up working, but still! Anyways, we got to the hospital in 10 minutes and ran through the corridors trying to find the room. When we finally found it, room 209, and walked in, we were immediately attacked by the nurses who quickly gave us gloves and and masks and went back to the bed where Lauren was. She seemed really happy to see us but also kind of terrified. Mmmh...I guess it's because a baby was about to exit her ladydoor"

“I cAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT” screamed Dan pushing himself up with his elbows. He didn't scare Phil, though. He was expecting a similar reaction.

“Shhhhh you're gonna wake Emily!” said Phil, now on his elbows too

“From here it's much easier to wake Noah, Emily is three rooms away!”

“Earlier, when I went to the loo, I checked if the kids were alright and Emily had crawled in Noah’s bed. She’s probably had another nightmare”

“Oh bless her. By the way, our 15 and 5 years old kids sleep together every now and then?? You realise that's parenting goals, yeah?”

“Well my brother and I used to do that every now and then too, but I guess it's because he's only a year and a half older than me"

“Exactly. Plus, 15 is a critical age! You know, he's starting to seriously grow and that kinda scares me"

“First of all, we’re freakishly tall so I don't think he's ever going to be taller than us. Second of all, he's only like 5’5. Third, I'm really scared too. What if he's going to meet someone on the internet and run away with them??”

“Oh you mean like I did? Yeah I hope that doesn't happen”

“You were 19, Dan”

“No, I was kidding” said Dan playing with his husband’s face “Now, can you resume the story telling?”

“Oh yeah right, so Lauren was screaming a lot and I don't know about you but she was holding my hand really tight, I thought it was going to explode!”

“Same"

“But finally, after about 5 minutes, Noah came out, screaming a lot too, and the nurses washed him before giving him to Lauren to breastfeed him. He was perfect, about 3.5 kilos and 50cm long. His big brown eyes stared at us for a bit before closing and then he slept for like 10 hours.

When, three days later, we finally brought him at home, we were both really emotional but his room was so cute! Do you remember it? We had put a tiny little wooden bed and painted the walls of pastel light blue. The floor was a very light green moquette and we had bought those huge Ikea plastic leaves so the whole room looked like a forest.

Being right next to our room, we could (and still can) hear everything he did so for the first couple of months it was really difficult for us to sleep, but then we got used to it and now I don't even notice it anymore to be honest. We were so happy when he arrived home and every free minute we would talk and sing to him our favourite songs, but the only song that managed to make him fall asleep was Interrupted By Fireworks. Do you remember how many times we played it at the stereo? I think probably more than ten thousand times...anyways, I think Noah’s love for books comes from the fact that we used to read to him constantly so hey, that's some good parenting right there!”

“It sure is!” said Dan “My turn, I'm telling Emily’s story.

We had decided, this time, to adopt, so after contacting the agency and signing all those papers and various meetings with various people, we only got to see a photo of Emily in june 2033! She was a week old, so it was the 27th, and she was sooo cute! She had very light blue eyes and very thin,almost white hair. I remember the nurse who was taking care of her telling us to make sure we thought her some Swedish so that she could learn about her origins. I think she knows it pretty well by now, doesn't she?”

“Definitely, plus both her and her brother love Knäckebröd so I think we've done a good job with that too” said Dan, satisfied.

“Yeah...Dan?”

Dan turned on his side to face Phil, as a silent ‘Yes?’

“I love our life. Thank you for giving me all this” said Phil, getting teary again

“Oh baby I love it too. I love our kids, I love our dog, I love our home and I love you, so much”

Phil kissed his husband then went back on his pillow

“Now I'm gonna go make us tea and check the kids, could you go lock the door please?” said Dan getting out of bed

“Sure” replied Phil, him also putting his feet on the floor and slowly standing up to not get dizzy

“I really needed this tea, you know?” said Phil stroking Dan's hand with his

“I think at this point I'm pretty good at reading your mind. Let's see...mmmh...right now you're thinking that you'd like to fuck me" said Dan moving his fingers on his head like he was actually reading Phil's mind

“Hey! You told me off like an hour ago for saying that!”

Dan chuckled and pulled the duvet to his chin, pulling a fake innocent face

“But you're right actually, you are pretty good at reading my mind"

[adorkablephil]

Fic: Imaginary Friends (Chapter 10)

Title: Imaginary Friends Summary: Nothing’s AU ... except that Dan and Phil have been appearing in each other’s dreams since childhood without realizing it because they’re soulmates. Everything on the outside looks like the reality we’re used to irl. Rating: Teen Word Count: 5.1K (this chapter) Tags: Soulmates, AU, But Kind of Not AU, Except That There’s Magic, Certainly Not a Typical Soulmates AU, Dreams, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Pining Author’s Note: Thank you again to my Patreon patrons! You guys are the best! Fic also available on AO3 here

[Masterlist of all Imaginary Friends chapters on Tumblr]

Chapter 10: Just For Us

“Wait, wait, WAIT!” Dan broke away from the kiss and struggled to sit up, pushing Phil to the side, but Phil didn’t misunderstand, didn’t assume he was being rejected, because now he knew. He knew how Dan felt, knew it as well as he knew his own heart, and so he simply felt confused at why the hell Dan’s lips were way over there when Phil’s lips were way over here.

“Wait why?” Phil asked not very eloquently.

“Because I’ve had sex with you lots of times here,” Dan explained. At the sudden rush of memories, Phil felt his stomach clench with the urge to just tackle Dan back onto the grass and stop the unnecessary talking. But now Dan was pushing Phil gently but firmly, a hand pressed to Phil’s chest until he lay flat on the grass with Dan leaning above him.

“I know how you feel here, in our minds, when I’m inside you or you’re inside me or we’re inside each other at the same time—which, pity, we won’t be able to do in the real world—but I have no idea what you feel like or look like or sound like in the real world.” Dan’s voice grew in intensity with each word as Phil lay there and gazed up at him, listening, eager, impatient, confused. ”I want this time to be different. The first time we both know it’s us, you and me, Dan and Phil, the people we are in the real world and the people we are here in this dream world … the first time we’re together now that we know everything … I want it to be … real. Do you know what I mean?”

But Phil didn’t. “We’re just as real here as we are when we’re awake,” he insisted. “Maybe more so. I mean, when we’re awake I can’t feel what you’re feeling, know what you’re thinking. We’re closer here than we can ever be there.”

Dan nodded. “But our bodies are just as real as our hearts and minds. And, I don’t mean to offend your delicate smol bean sensibilities, Phil, but … I’m really looking forward to getting to finally fuck your actual body.”

And Phil could feel it now, could feel how Dan wanted him, could feel it throbbing all around them and between them and within them, overtaking the entire substance and fabric of the dream with its urgency. But Dan wouldn’t stop talking.

“I want to get my hands on your skin.” Dan’s hands roamed as he spoke, sneaking beneath Phil’s t-shirt and along his chest, brushing against his nipples. “Not just how you imagine your skin,” he continued as his hands continued their distracting exploration, “or how I imagine it, not what your skin feels like in our minds, in our brains, but your real, actual skin. I want to see your real eyes when I touch you, lick the real sweat off your real throat, feel your real tongue on my real…”

“Then let’s wake the fuck up,” Phil interrupted, pushed to the brink by Dan’s words.

He woke with a jolt to find himself in the familiar bed on the tour bus, with the sound of tires against the road, the rumble of the diesel engine, the occasional flickering of light through the curtains.

And, there, in the familiar dim light, Dan’s eyes. Open. Watching him.

And then Dan’s hands. Warm. Gentle. Sliding beneath Phil’s t-shirt, stroking Phil’s belly and chest with slow movements. Slow. Slow. So painfully slow, as if he were savoring these first touches because there would never be another first time for this.

Phil tried not to push, not to hurry, as he could tell that’s what Dan wanted. Even without being able to read his thoughts, he could still read what Dan wanted simply from the way his hands moved, the way his lips pressed so gently against Phil’s neck, the way Dan touched him only with lips and hands, the rest of his body still held apart though so near in the bed.

But Phil had wanted this for too long, and eventually he couldn’t give Dan what he wanted anymore, couldn’t keep it slow, and suddenly the duvet was on the floor and then so were their sleep clothes, and Phil pressed Dan into the mattress, their whole bodies touching skin to skin, their muscles moving against each other, tongues tasting, hands stroking and grasping and clutching, breaths heaving and combining and sounding together … and maybe he was giving Dan what he wanted after all.

The next morning Phil woke to find himself alone in the bed. He groped around for his glasses, then eyed the disaster that was the bedroom. After some rather extensive searching, he found his pajamas and put them on, then at least threw the duvet over the bed to hide some of the evidence of the night’s vigorous activities.

He walked carefully out to the lounge area, bumping into the hallway walls occasionally when the bus moved unexpectedly in traffic. Dan was sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal, but he looked up when Phil appeared. He chewed and swallowed, then watched Phil with a whisper of a smile flirting around his mouth.

Phil casually leaned against the cabinets in the kitchenette and winced. He remembered Dan’s forcefulness the previous night. He was feeling kind of embarrassed, and kind of awkward, and kind of turned on. He tried to play it cool. “I’m going to have an impressive bruise on my butt from where you pushed me against this counter, you know.”

Dan raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying it wasn’t worth it?” He abandoned his cereal bowl to stand up and walk toward where Phil waited.

When he got close enough, Phil wrapped an arm around Dan’s neck and pulled him in for a long, thorough kiss. “Totally worth it,” he murmured against Dan’s lips. Dan grinned, and then they kissed again. A lot. And it’s possible that Dan got pressed against the counter hard enough to acquire some bruises of his own.

“Remember that time we explored those tunnels, and those trolls tried to kill us?”

“Yeah. Jeez. I was around … I don’t know … 9 then.” Phil thought a moment. “So you were 5 when we did that? When we had that dream?”

Dan nodded blissfully, his fingers restless on Phil’s bare chest, right over his heart. His smile was sweet and Phil just wanted to kiss it, but he also wanted to talk, because this entire situation seemed literally incredible. “I didn’t know much about trolls,” Dan murmured as he continued to caress Phil’s chest, “but I used ideas I got from your thoughts to help. I mean, I always did that. The dreams are always part you and part me.”

“When was the first time?” Phil asked, suddenly intensely curious. “The first time you came into my dreams.”

Dan raised his head off the pillow to stare at Phil in surprise. “You should know better than I would!”

Phil frowned. “Why?”

Dan shook his head and chuckled, laying his head back down. “Because you’re older, you spoon. I was probably just a baby.”

Phil gaped. He sat up and just stared at Dan in disbelief for a long moment.

Still lying mussed and drowsy among the tangled sheets, Dan smiled up at him. “You’ve been calling to me my whole life, Phil.” He raised a hand to brush against Phil’s cheek, then lightly against his lips. “I was probably trying to get to you when I was still a fetus.”

Phil lay down again, lying on his back and staring up at the tour bus ceiling. “I think … I think you were just a light at first.” He tried his best to remember, but it was so long ago. “This little light that would … you would sort of follow me around … and lead me places…”

“I just always knew you, always felt you reaching out to me, my whole life. And I just always knew that someday I’d find out where you actually lived, and we would meet, and we would be best friends. Because you were already my best friend. Since … well … forever.” Dan shrugged and kissed Phil’s shoulder.

Phil shook his head in wonder. “And you just … accepted it? Didn’t you ever wonder why this was happening? I mean … this isn’t normal, Dan. People don’t just appear in each other’s dreams like that…”

Dan shrugged again, a relaxed smile on his face, his eyes closed. “We did. That’s all that matters. I never really worried about it. I just wanted to find you. And now I did.” He opened his eyes and glanced over at Phil, smiled a little more brightly, and then lay back down again, seeming almost bonelessly relaxed.

Phil started rambling about his Gran, and about the Skill, and about how Dan must have the Skill, too, and what that might mean … but Dan didn’t really seem to be listening very closely. He just hummed occasionally in response, or nodded, but he didn’t seem to be giving the topic the serious consideration it deserved.

“Aren’t you listening to me?” Phil demanded.

Dan opened his eyes and gazed at Phil with eyes softer than Phil had ever seen them. “Aren’t you listening to me? The how and why don’t matter to me. All I know is that I’ve been wanting you my whole life, and now I have you. You are never getting rid of me, Phil Lester. I’ve been hunting you for more than 20 years, and I am never letting go.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Phil’s pouting lips and said, “Maybe I have some kind of power. Maybe you have some kind of power. And maybe each of us have this particular power because it’s what we needed to find each other, to bring us together. If you hadn’t called to me, if I hadn’t known you in my dreams, if I hadn’t always had you to turn to, to trust and love and understand, my whole entire life … I might have grown up to be a different person. I might not have grown up to be the person you’re in love with now.” His cheeks got a bit pink and he avoided Phil’s gaze.

Phil realized Dan was embarrassed. While Dan had been using the “L word” fairly liberally, Phil hadn’t been quite as forthcoming. Maybe he’d gotten too good at trying to hide his feelings, being around Dan every day and not wanting to scare him away or reveal too much.

“I am in love with you,” Phil said firmly, leaning up on an elbow to look down into Dan’s face. “Jeez, Dan, I’ve been in love with you since before I even thought you were real! And when I realized that it was you … I just … I was so sure you didn’t feel that way about me.”

Dan raised a hand to push Phil’s fringe back from his forehead. “That must have sucked. I hadn’t really thought about it, but … that must have been really rough. I always knew you existed, that you were real, that I loved you and you loved me, and that we would find each other and be together … but if you thought I already knew you in real life and didn’t feel that way…” Dan looked sad now, and Phil didn’t want that.

“It’s okay,” he interrupted, trying to smile. It really hadn’t felt okay at all, but he didn’t want Dan to hurt on his behalf.

Dan let his hand slide gently down to stroke Phil’s cheek, his eyes soft. “I’m sure it wasn’t okay. I’m sure it hurt. I’m sorry I hurt you, even if I had no idea I was doing it.” He brushed his fingers across Phil’s lips and promised solemnly, “I’ll never hurt you again if I can help it.”

Phil felt tears well in his eyes but fought to maintain some amount of composure. “Now that I know you’re you, the you from my dreams, my shadow, the person I’ve trusted and loved since I can remember … I know you’re right. Whatever this was, however this happened, it happened to bring us together.”

Suddenly, Dan chuckled, which jolted Phil a bit, as he’d been in the midst of a soppy moment of cheesy sentimentality. Dan leaned up to kiss him, then explained, “We were trying to find each other in our dreams, but apparently the world—or the Skill or whatever—lost patience with us. So we found each other in the real world, too. You called me so strongly … I came to you twice. I hounded you online until you let me in, just like you let me into your dreams.”

The idea had never occurred to Phil, and he lay down again, considering. It really did feel like Fate, like he and Dan had been meant to find each other, like maybe this was why he’d had this Skill all along. He wondered what his Gran would have thought of all this, and he liked to think she would have been happy for him.

“I always liked that field of cornflowers,” Dan mused dreamily, his eyes closed again, that blissful smile on his face. “I remember curling up with you there once when my dad had been yelling at me and I was feeling sad, but being with you made everything better.”

Phil smiled to himself. “Was that the time you looked like a red fox?” and Dan nodded. He opened one eye to look at Phil.

“I was hoping you would pet me, but you put your arm around me and held me close in that field of cornflowers, and I felt safe … and that was enough. I was really little then.”

Phil didn’t know what to say, thinking about small Dan hurting from harsh words and turning to him in their dreams for comfort. And Dan always helping him with his nightmares. He wished he’d done more for Dan.

“I called you the flower boy, you know. Because there always seemed to be flowers when you were around. Flowers in the grass, and in the trees, and in that cloak you made…” Dan’s voice had grown quieter and slower, as if he might actually be falling asleep.

“I called you the shadow,” Phil replied softly. “Well, the shadow boy when we were kids, but then just the shadow when we got older.”

Dan opened his eyes again and turned his head to look at Phil, and it was a look Phil hoped to see every day for the rest of his life. He’d seen it in his dreams, but he’d never thought he’d ever see someone look at him like that in the real world. “I called you the flower boy when we were young,” Dan murmured, “but when we got older … I just thought of you as mine.”

They didn’t usually have very much free time on the road, but when they found themselves with an entire day free before their Oakland show, they hired a taxi and saw as much of the San Francisco area as they could. It was ridiculously expensive, hiring a cab driver to chauffeur them around all day long, but they’d looked at each other that morning and just known.

They had to get out.

Escape.

With so much of their time spent on the tour bus or in the venues, rehearsing even when they weren’t performing, they just needed some time away from it all! There were only 10 more days, 10 days and they’d be done, the tour would be over, but right now 10 days seemed like forever.

So like the little boys they once had been, they ran away. Just for a day. Playing hooky.

They rode up and down steep San Francisco hills in their yellow cab, and they saw sea lions who’d taken over an entire pier, and they bought touristy jumpers to keep them warm in the deceptively sunny California weather, and they ate some clam chowder in a bread bowl, and they stood on the Golden Gate Bridge watching sailboats far below, and they even walked among some giant redwood trees. Staring upward in awe, Dan joked, “Finally, we’re in the company of giants taller than us!”

Phil said, “Now we know how our fans feel at the meet-and-greets,” and then wondered if they would be taller than redwoods in their dreams that night.

At the end of the day, Phil’s photographer friend pulled him aside, looking uncomfortable. “You’ll want to look through today’s shots and decide which ones are … all right,” he suggested, not meeting Phil’s eyes.

Confused, Phil asked, “Why? Was there a problem with the camera?”

Davy shuffled his feet a bit before finally meeting Phil’s gaze and beginning awkwardly, “The way you two were looking at each other…”

Phil nodded quickly. “Oh. Right.” He didn’t know what else to say.

Apparently, they would need to be more careful. He hated it, but knew it was true. Especially on the tour, with eyes on them everywhere, they rarely got a moment’s privacy. Except in the tour bus bedroom.

He couldn’t wait to be home, home where he could look at Dan however he liked in the lounge and in the kitchen and in the bath—his mind wandered a bit for a moment there—and in the bloody cupboard if they wanted.

But for now they would need to be circumspect.

But at least in the dreams they were free.

That night Phil appeared as he often did, alone in an unfamiliar landscape, surrounded by green and … yes, there were flowers there, too, both in the grass and in the trees. Was Dan going to appear as a flower tonight? Or a redwood tree? Or would he look like himself? Over the decades of their dream relationship, Phil had come to adore Dan’s capriciousness in this regard. It made every dream almost like a scavenger hunt. Where’s Dan this time?

The blue sky above began to darken, and Phil stepped further into the clearing to get a better view. He saw that clouds were gathering. Something about the clouds seemed … he stared upward … “Dan, is that you?” Phil asked with a grin.

He felt Dan’s chuckle deep inside him, in his chest or his heart or some non-physical part of him that only existed in his dreams, and then he could tell that Dan wanted him to join him. “I don’t know how to be a cloud,” Phil pouted.

“Sure you do,” Dan replied, “with a little help…”

And then suddenly Phil was a cloud. It felt strange, like he existed simultaneously as himself—a singular identity—but also as a dispersed collection of particles. Dan, as always in their dreams, could read his thoughts pretty well. “We’re all just collections of particles all the time,” he pointed out. “That’s what our bodies are. Being a cloud just makes it more obvious, because we can do this…”

Phil had watched clouds a lot when he was young. He’d loved to lie on the grass and just stare up at the sky, watching the clouds drift into each other and apart, forming shapes and then changing into new ones. He’d never before thought about any of it from the cloud’s perspective.

He and Dan began to merge, their cloud particles mixing even as their individual consciousnesses remained separate. Dan drifted slowly, gently, into Phil, and they formed some new shape that wasn’t just Dan and wasn’t just Phil but was something new they’d created together while still being themselves at the same time. He could see the particles of Dan’s cloud as distinct from himself, and yet they mingled with each other.

In a way, it felt a bit like the emotional side of sex without the physical sensations, the emotional merging without the sweaty push and pull and tight and …

“Ready to jump?” Dan asked, and Phil felt confused, knowing that Dan would sense his questioning. “Come with me!”

And then Dan and Phil were thousands of raindrops, falling from the sky, falling beside and among each other, each seeing themselves reflected in the watery spheres of the other. They fell with a fearless joy, scattered together into tiny drops of themselves that accompanied and reflected every other facet of themselves and of each other. It was like seeing himself and Dan through a molecular-level kaleidoscope as they raced toward the ground in a shower made of both their consciousnesses.

It was the most bizarre and beautiful thing Phil had ever experienced. He wondered if Dan would ever stop surprising and amazing him.

As they reached the ground, their droplets drew together and reformed into an adult Dan and an adult Phil, and within moments they looked like themselves again, with Dan grinning like a child on Christmas morning. But Phil glanced upward and held his hands out, palms facing up, as the rain had turned to tiny ice crystals.

It was snowing.

He looked at Dan and marveled, “It never snowed in our dreams before. We’ve been having dreams together for more than 20 years, and we never had snow. Why now?”

Dan stepped close and pulled Phil into his arms. “Because now I know it’s you. And I know that real-world Phil loves snow. That’s something I didn’t know about you in our dreams. But now I know you both ways, and so now I know that you love snow, and I can bring it to you here.”

Snowflakes fell on their hair, and one hit Phil in the eye, making him blink quickly. He gazed at Dan in wonder, arms looped around his waist. “Why do you think there was never snow before? I mean, just even by accident.”

Dan shrugged in his embrace. “I think you were just so … warm. I always felt so safe and warm when I was with you … snow just didn’t happen. Flowers did.”

Three more performances and they would be on their way home. The tour had been great—it still was great—of course it was great! But privacy was dramatically underrated.

They lay pressed together on the extremely narrow sofa in the tour bus’s lounge. It really wasn’t wide enough for even one of them to get truly comfortable, but they had shown remarkable persistence and determination, and had somehow managed to get them both to fit.

They weren’t even kissing when Martyn opened the door. They’d locked it—of course they’d locked it!—but Martyn had a key. Of course he had a key. He could come in any time. Why in the world would it ever be inappropriate for him to come in unannounced?

Well, he probably had the answer to that question now.

Dan rolled off the sofa in a panic and made a rather loud thump when he hit the floor, followed by a quieter, muttered, “Ow.” He sat up, looking at Martyn, then turned to look at Phil who still lay frozen on the sofa. Dan looked frightened.

Phil smiled hesitantly at his brother. “Um … surprise?”

Martyn leaned in the doorway for a moment, looking down at the steps and his shoes, and Phil worried what he might be thinking. But when Martyn looked up, Phil saw that he was actually chuckling.

“Finally?” Martyn asked in a voice flooded with disbelief.

Dan sat up straighter, though his position on the floor made the gesture less dignified than he probably would have hoped. “Finally?” he asked, his tone brittle.

Martyn just shook his head fondly. “Corn and I have been waiting for you two to figure it out for ages. I guess it just took a few thousand miles, a couple months, and a shared bed to open your eyes.”

Dan turned to look at Phil and they both just goggled. Almost in unison, they both turned back to look at Martyn. He was grinning.

Phil grinned back. And, almost like in the dreams, he could feel that Dan was grinning, too.

It was much more comfortable than the tour bus sofa. They lay in each other’s arms in the field of cornflowers, completely naked, but somehow the greenery in their dreams never prickled or tickled or poked them in uncomfortable places. Instead, Phil lay on a cushiony bed of smooth green grasses, gazing up at the vivid blue cornflowers that waved above their heads and the paler blue sky beyond. Dan lay beside him, stroking a hand along his skin, then raising that hand to twine his fingers through Phil’s hair. It felt like heaven.

“Hey,” Dan whispered suddenly. He sounded excited, and yet uncertain, keeping his voice hushed despite the obvious thrill that ran through him. Phil could feel it along his own nerves like sparks. “Can I try something? Can I … can I change something about how you look?”

Phil jerked his body away immediately, hurt more than he would have imagined possible. He’d thought he’d gotten over this, that Dan had convinced him, but really … he’d still always known it. He’d known that Dan couldn’t love him the way he really was, the Phil he was in reality, plain Phil, odd-looking Phil …

But Dan’s arms wound around him to hold him fast. “No. It’s not what you think. I’ve just always wondered … what you would look like…”

Phil’s body still as stone, he closed himself off as much as possible and prodded ruthlessly, “Yeah? What have you always wondered? What have you always wanted to change about me?”

Dan didn’t release him, but he did let his eyes wander up to Phil’s hair. Phil could feel Dan’s longing to touch, and he relaxed slightly. Dan felt his muscle tension go down a notch and took the chance of letting his hands wander up into Phil’s hair again.

“I’ve just always wondered what you would look like … with your real hair color,” Dan admitted in a whisper, and Phil could feel how apprehensive he was about Phil’s possible reaction, but the idea just made Phil smile, and his body relaxed in Dan’s arms.

“It isn’t very exciting,” Phil shrugged, embarrassed. “Just sort of mousy brown. Just as plain as the rest of me. The only thing people ever seemed to notice was my eyes. So I thought darker hair would emphasize the light eyes, you know?”

Dan nudged him. “It only makes your skin look even more pale, you know.”

Phil shrugged again. “Another thing that stands out, I guess. Another thing that makes me less … plain.”

“You aren’t plain,” Dan whispered in his ear, then sucked the lobe into his mouth and gave it a bit of a suck. “You’re the opposite of plain. You are gorgeous and sexy and amazing and I would love to see what you look like with your natural hair color. Do you mind if I … try it out? I mean, I’ve seen enough pictures of you from when you were younger that I can guess what it would look like. And you can help. I’ll keep the haircut the same, but just … lighten the color…”

Phil hid his face in Dan’s shoulder. “Why? Why would you want to see me looking even more boring than usual?”

Dan pushed Phil’s fringe back from his forehead as he seemed to like to do, his fingers sliding through the smooth strands. “I’ve always loved your hair,” Dan reminded Phil. He’d said it often enough over the years, though always in a platonic “I wish my hair looked like that” context. “I just wonder what you really look like. The unadulterated you. The you without any hiding, without any disguise, without any masks.”

With a pained sigh, Phil nodded, face still buried against Dan’s neck. “Fine. You can do it. You’re just going to be disappointed, though. It’s going to look terrible.”

When he raised his face to meet Dan’s eyes, Dan smiled at him. “You still look like you. You’re still stunningly phenomenally gorgeously amazing Phil.”

Phil rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help smiling a little. “I’m sure I look like a complete idiot.”

“Here,” Dan said. “It’ll be like when we were kids. I’ll show you what you look like.” And his face and body changed until he looked like Phil … if Phil had the most boring-colored hair in the entire universe.

Phil threw his hands up to cover his eyes. “Don’t make me look! It’s hideous!” He was only half joking. He’d grown rather attached to his black-haired persona, enough that his natural hair color no longer looked natural to him.

Dan changed back to looking like himself, though he kept the wavy hair that Phil had gotten used to in their dreams. Dan never straightened his hair in their dreams anymore. Suddenly, a devious look appeared on Dan’s face and Phil cursed how well they could read each other’s thoughts in their dreams.

“If I stop straightening my hair in the real world,” Dan wheedled, “will you stop dyeing yours? Like a pact?”

Phil shook his head in absolute flat denial. “No. No way. And you’ll never stop straightening your hair, anyway. You hate your hobbit hair too much, even if I love it.” Phil tousled Dan’s hair playfully.

“And I love your hair brown like this,” Dan said, his voice softer now as he toyed with some strands of Phil’s hair. “I mean, I love how you look with black hair. I think I’d love how you look with any color hair. Heck, dye it green if you want! But … if we’re talking about loving each other how we really are, without any masks, then that would mean me letting my hair be naturally curly and you letting your hair be naturally brown.” His smile looked more hopeful than devious now.

Phil sighed. “I’ll let my hair be naturally brown here in our dreams, if it’s really important to you, and if you agree to let your hair be naturally curly here, too … but we don’t have to show all the absolute truth to the rest of the world. It’s different here. Here … this is just for us.”

Dan nodded, satisfied for the moment, and pushed both hands into Phil’s pale brown hair, twining his fingers between the strands so that he cradled Phil’s head in his hands, and pulled him into the softest of kisses.

Author’s Note: One more chapter to go, and it’ll just be a short one to wrap things up. As always, likes/comments/reblogs are tremendously appreciated! If you’d like to learn how you can further support my writing, check out this post, which discusses how you can become a Patreon patron or leave a small tip through Ko-fi. Obviously, I don’t expect money from you guys, because I write fic for the love of it, but some readers seem to really like being able to support and encourage my work this way, so check out those links if you’re interested.

[Continue on to the next and final chapter!]

[glitterrhowell]

Title: In this together

Pairing:  Daniel Howell & AmazingPhil (Phan 

Word count: 2.2K

Warning/Genre: Phan, Hurt/comfort, TW blood, angst, injury, interactive introverts, broken bones

Summary: Dan Falls on stage during a show how will Phil handle it

TW:Blood

Read on Ao3

Read on Wattpad

The crowd was wild with everyone laughing and screaming, Dan had spouted off some joke and they were obviously loving it. Phil smiled getting ready to make a snarky comment back but before the words left his mouth Dan tripped on the hexagon in the middle of the stage. It all happened in slow motion, Dan was smiling and laughing and next thing Phil knew Dan was on the ground. The crowd was screaming and crying with laughter at Dan's mishap but Phil could tell that something wasn't right. Instead of Dan jumping back up and laughing at himself he stayed on the ground holding his leg. Phil ran over to Dan 

"OMG Dan are you alright?" Dan ripped the microphone off his face as Phil knelt down beside him, "It hurts Phil." He whined with tears in his eyes. By this time the crowd was screaming and confused about what was going on, if you listened close enough you could hear the random fan screaming, "Whats wrong with Dan? Is he alright?"

But Phil wasn't paying attention his attention as all on Dan. He didn't know exactly what the damage was but he could tell it was bad, Dan wasn't the type of person to overexaggerate an injury. He may be a drama queen when it comes to other things, but his health was not one of them. By this time several members of the crew were running out on stage to make sure everything was alright. Phil removed his own microphone from his face and leaned down to whisper in Dan's ear. "Can you get up? How bad is it?"

He put his hand on Dan's leg and quickly pulled it back up when he felt warm and sticky substance. He looked at his hand horrified, Dan was bleeding and based off the amount of blood it was pretty bad. Dan took a sharp breath and winced. Phil leaned over to the crew member informing them that they need to take an early intermission. The member nodded his had and proceeded to say something into his headpiece. The next thing Phil know they were lowing the curtain, luckily they were performing at a theater and they had the option of a curtain for privacy. Knowing the audience was no longer watching Phil took ahold of Dan's hand swiping his finger across it. He pulled Dan so he was leaning against him and started whispering assurances in his ear. 

Phil was still unable to see the damage done due to Dan's pants, but what he did know was there was a lot of blood. They had a medic for minor emergencies and she came running out onto the stage and bent down next to Dan. "How are you doing Honey?" She asked giving Dan a concerned smile. "It hurts really bad." He whispered as he leaned back into Phil. "Ok, hun I'm going to have to cut your pants to see the damage." "Ok." He breathed out into Phil's Shoulder. She pulled a pair of scissors out of her medical kit and began cutting up Dan's pants. 

"FU-UCK." He screamed when she got to the injured part of his leg Phil wasn't squeamish but what he saw he knew wasn't normal he hadn't noticed before because he was focused on Dan but his leg was twisted up all wrong. Dan was full on sobbing now it was hard to hear him over the crowd still screaming in the background but Phil could tell he was in Pain. 

After looking it over she looked over at Phil "We need to call an ambulance  and go to the hospital." "NO I'M FI-INE." Dan screeched trying to stand up. "Dan stop it! You're not Fine!" Phil scolded him, pushing him back down. "How fast can they get here?" "Usually the response time is 10 minutes." "Ok let's get them called." Phil told her.

She turned around to talk to the crew members Phil assumed to sort everything out and Phil turned his attention back to Dan. Dan had returned to his position of leaning on Phil Face shoved in his shoulder, he had stopped crying but he was clingy on to Phil like his life depended on it. "Shh, it's alight. Everything will be fine." Phil Pressed a kiss into Dan's head.

...

It took another ten minutes for the Paramedics to arrive and by that time the crew had ushered everyone out of the theater and it was so quiet it was almost eerie. Phil had spent the whole time holding and whispering reassurances to Dan. "Hi, my name is Nathan What seems to be the problem?" A nice looking mans in a paramedics outfit said as he walked up to them. "He fell of the mini stage here," Phil said motioning to the stage they were sitting on. "I'm Phil and this here is Dan." "Alright, Dan let me have a look here." The man Nathan got to work looking over his leg. "He is defiantly going to need to go the hospital." Dan pushed into Phil almost as if trying to shrink himself. "How bad is it?" Phil asked "Sir there is no way of telling here, we will have to take him to the hospital to have it X-rayed before we can make an assumption."

"I don't want to go the hospital, Phil," Dan said shoving his face further into Phil's chest. "Bear we need to get you checked out and make sure you not alright." Dan Whinned, "Do I have to? Seriously I feel fine." "Yes, Dan, if you won't do it for you, Do it for me. Yeah?" "Yeah ok, Phil." Phil smiled and Kissed his hand. The paramedic pulling items out of his bag, "I have to attach an IV to your arm alright?" 

Dan nodded his head and closed his eyes not wanted to see the needle going into his arm. Glancing over Phil spotted Martyn and Cornelia, "I'll be right back bear." 

He walked over and Martin pulled him into a hug, "Is Dan going to be Ok?" "They're not sure how bad it is but they are going to take him to the hospital to check him out." 

He didn't stay to talk to Martyn and Cornilla long just long enough to tell them that they would have to take care of the fans and the crew.

He hurriedly walked back over to Dan they were in the process of loading him onto the stretcher. "How are you doing love?" He asked him. "Better," Dan said his speech slurred. "We gave him some pain medicine, he shouldn't be feeling my of anything," Nathon said chuckling.

...

Phil rode to the hospital with Dan, luckily they were able to use the back door of the theater and avoid running into any fans. Both Phil and Dan's Phones were blowing up, but Phil ignored them he would deal with their friends later. Once at the hospital they rolled Dan in throw the emergency entrance and Phil went in through another as he had to fill out paperwork for him. Having known Dan for almost 10 years he probably knew Dan better then he knew himself. Phil was freaking out he had no idea if Dan was alright and he had no idea what was going on. He wanted to cry so bad but he pushed the feeling down he had to be strong for Dan. 

He wasn't sure how long he had been waiting but it felt like forever when a doctor walked out, "Anyone here for Daniel Howell?" 

Phil sprang up and ran over, "I'm his boyfriend, Is he alright?" "Well it is a pretty bad break, he is going to need surgery and will have to wear a boot on his leg for a few weeks, but he should be alright." 

Phil let out his breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding it. "When can I see him?" "Well, he will be going back into surgery in a few minutes typical if everything goes to plan he should be out in an hour. He will be heavily sedated but you will be able to see him when he comes out."

Phil thanked the doctor and sat back down, Dan was going to be ok. He needed surgery but he was going to be ok. He pulled his phone out of his pocket seeing he had almost fifty missed phone calls and messages from Friends trying to figure out what was going out. He shot a quick text to Louise telling her Dan would be fine and asked her to let their friends know the same thing. In less than a minute his phone dinged with a text back

Louise- Thank god he is going to be fine! I will let everyone who needs to know know. Tell Dan I hopes he feels better. Darcy and Pearl Send their love. Smiling Phil sent her a text thanking her and put his phone back in his pocket, He couldn't deal with the fans and twitter at the moment.

...

It had been an hour and the doctor still hadn't come out and Phil was really starting to worry, he walked up to the information desk "Excuse me is there any News on Dan Howell?"

"Sorry, we can only give that type of information to family members." The bored look receptionist spat at him, "His my boyfriend I should be on his emergency contact." Phil said starting to get angry. She huffed and looked at her computer, "There is no information so leave me alone." She scoffed at him. In any other situation, Phil might have argued with her but all he was concerned about was Dan and how the surgery was lasting longer then the doctor said. Sitting back down he pulled his Phone out of his pocket and absentmindedly started playing some game. 

It was another hour before the doctor came out and walked up to Phil. Jumping in surprise the first words out of his mouth were, "How is he? Can I see him?" "There were some complications but the surgery went well you can go see him but he is on painkillers and might not be awake yet.”

"I don't care I have to see him." Chuckling "I figured as much follow me." Phil followed the doctor down the hall until they got to the room 402. "His in there." The doctor motioned into the room. Swallowing he thanked the doctor and walked into the room. Dan lay there and if Phil didn't know any better we would think he was peacefully sleeping. He looked paler than normal and his leg was wrapped up in a cast but other than that he looked fine. He took the chair next to the bed and gently took Dan's hand in his own. "Dan?" Phil didn't know what he was expecting to happen but Dan just laid there.

...

Dan didn't know what was going on, but the first thing he noticed was there was the pain. Pain that radiated from his left leg, his head was swimming. He was laying in bed but it was an unfamiliar place it didn't smell like home. He did feel that someone was holding his hand. His eyelids were heavy and he had to force them to open and the first thing he noticed was he most definitely was not in his and Phil's bedroom. Groaning he pulled his eyes to the person holding his hand. Phil his Phil had his head on the bed and appeared to be sleeping.  Dan smiled "Philly?" It came out as a croak. 

Phil sat up fast "Dan You're awake!" He said grinning at him. "What happened?" Dan asked him. Phil's smile faded slightly "Don't you remember? You fell during the show." It all came rushing back to him the fall the pain everything. Groaning, "What about the fans what did you tell them?" 

Phil smiled typical Dan to worry about other people rather than himself. "I haven't told them anything yet I was waiting for you to wake up." Groaning, "Well we better tell them something." 

Phil pulled his phone out and composed the tweet, @Amazingphil @Danisnotonfire is even clumsier them me, feel on stage and broke his leg. He is fine but you guys will have him in a boot to look forward to. He showed the tweet to Dan and after he gave is ok he tweeted it.

  "I'm going to go get the doctor." He said as he stood up but Dan pulled his hand back "Wait Philly cuddle with me for a little bit first." He said as he moved over to make room for Phil. He was about to protest but Dan was looking at him with those dark chocolate brown eyes of his. Sighing he crawled into the bed next to him, he wrapped his arm around his waist and Dan nestled his head on his chest. Phil gave him a small kiss on the head. It didn't take long and Dan was fast asleep again, Phil chuckled and pulled him closer. He knew everything was going to be ok because they were in this together.

[alounuitte]

a little under the weather

Phil might be getting sick, but there's no way he's going to let it get in his way when he's been trying so hard to be a better team player at the studio. After all, he's finally found some pride in what he does. (Or, Phil is reminded that some days hard work and a good attitude aren't all you need, after all.) (post-loop, light on actual romance and heavy on comfort and companionship.)

chapter 4/? warnings for vomiting.

also on ao3!

He dozes off sometime around three and ends up sleeping the rest of the afternoon, waking up to find it’s gotten dark outside his windows. His head is a little clearer, he thinks, and while his stomach doesn’t feel great, he hasn’t woken up sick to throw up the water he drank, either. Even sitting up on the couch again doesn’t make him nauseous.

“Rita?” he calls, rubbing his eyes.

“Hey,” she calls back from the kitchen. “How are you feeling?”

“Could be worse,” he says. “At least my head’s stopped spinning.”

“Hey, that’s a start,” she says cheerfully, leaning on the counter to look at him. “I got you some stuff from the store. There’s ginger ale and, um, ginger tea if you want something hot. And Gatorade. What do you want?”

“I don’t even like ginger ale,” he complains. “Or Gatorade.”

“Well, um, you need to drink some anyways,” she says, arching an eyebrow. “You have to -“

“Keep up on fluids, I know,” he grumbles. “Fine, give me a Gatorade.”

“You should try to eat something, too,” she adds as she brings one over. “At least a little, some crackers or something.”

He groans, cracking open the bottle and making a face as he sips from it. “Don’t want any,” he mutters, putting his feet up on the coffee table and curling up on himself.

“Okay, um, how about some applesauce then?” she offers. “I got some while I was out, you know, just one of those little cups...”

“I don’t want any,” he protests again. “I’ve gone a couple hours now without puking, I’d kind of like to keep it up.”

Her stern look softens a little, and she sits down next to him on the couch, rubbing his shoulders with one hand. “Guess I can’t blame you for that,” she says. “Try to have something little before you go back to bed? For me?”

“Nnnnh,” he mutters, shrugging. “I’ll try.”

“Thanks,” she says, and offers a smile. “Anything else I can do for you?”

“Well, you could keep doing that forever,” he suggests, leaning back into her touch.

“Oh, yeah?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. “I can do that as long as you keep up with the Gatorade.”

“I’ll eat crackers and applesauce if it means you’ll sit with me and rub my back the rest of the night,” he assures her. “That feels a lot better.” He takes a sip of his drink and sets it down. “Hey, uh, sorry again about earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she says, and stops what she’s doing to elbow him gently in the side. “Hey, you wanna watch a movie?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, actually, that sounds great.”

She puts on Indiana Jones and lets him lay his head in her lap while they watch, rubbing the back of his neck with her fingers and ruffling up his hair. He nibbles on saltine crackers and sits up every few minutes, with her help, to take a sip of Gatorade.

He is starting to feel a lot better, between laying down and her massaging the tension out of his stiff shoulders; by the end of the movie, he almost thinks he could eat some solid food for dinner, but he’s not about to risk going that far after how well he handled lunch earlier. Instead, he eats a cup of applesauce like he promised while Rita reheats leftover Chinese in the microwave.

“You want some of my rice, too?” she offers as she comes back to the living room with her dinner. “That’s not too hard on your stomach.”

“Maybe a little,” he admits, sitting up and pulling the quilt around his shoulders. “Just to see how I feel.”

“Go for it,” she says, and wedges the box into the blankets so he can reach it as well. “Should I put the second one in?”

“Sure,” he says. “Not as good as Raiders, but still.”

She snorts and grabs the DVD from the bookcase to switch out the discs. He leans back against the couch cushions and presses up against her as she sits back down, resting his head on hers and huddling into the quilt. Smiling softly, she rests her hand on his back and traces slow circles between his shoulders with her fingertips as the movie starts.

He starts falling asleep again halfway through, and totally dozes off sometime around the escape from the mines, to wake up as the credits are rolling and find Rita half-asleep on the couch, still sitting up, absently stroking his hair.

“Hey,” he says, and she jumps.

“Hi,” she replies. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah,” he says, and nods. “You should go to bed. You’ve got to work tomorrow, remember?”

“Mm,” she agrees, rubbing her eyes. “Yeah, I guess so. Are you coming?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll stay out here. Don’t want to get you sick, too.”

She laughs at that and gets to her feet. “There anything you need?” she asks. “Water? An actual pillow?”

“Pillow would be nice,” he murmurs, rearranging himself.

She disappears into the bedroom to get one and helps him sit up so she can tuck it under his head. “There you go,” she says, pulling the quilt over him. “Hey, wake me up if you need anything, okay?”

“Sure,” he agrees. “Night, Rita.”

“Night, Phil,” she says, and leans over to press a kiss to his forehead before leaving the room.

He drifts off again only to wake up an hour later with his stomach full of dread and his mouth full of bitterness. “Ah, fuck,” he mutters, wrapping his arm around himself and pushing himself up enough to lean over the trash can. His stomach lurches and heaves, and he retches weakly a few times before he actually vomits, throwing up rice and Gatorade into the garbage.

So much for feeling better.

He slumps over on his side, panting a little, gritting his teeth against nausea that still won’t go away. He’s sweating and shaking at the same time, his face flushed but his hands cold. With his sleeve he wipes the sweat from his brow, pushing back his damp hair, and rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand. He can taste acid and metal on his tongue, and his throat and even his nose burn with it. He groans and reaches for the water on the coffee table to rinse his mouth out and spit into the trash can again.

He wants to go get Rita, and feels selfish for it; he doesn’t actually need anything, just wants company, wants her to sit with him and comfort him until he can fall asleep again. Stupid, he thinks, and grimaces as his stomach turns over. He can’t bother her just because he’s awake and sick. Anyways, she needs sleep more, since at this point it looks like he’s definitely not going into work tomorrow.

His stomach convulses and he rolls over to puke up another mouthful of acid. Tears burn in his eyes and he screws up his face to get rid of them. Rita will scold him if he doesn’t at least try to drink something, he thinks, but the very thought of it is enough to make him throw up yet again.

When the nausea finally recedes, he does force himself to take a few tiny sips of water, if only to soothe his throat. Hugging himself miserably, he lays back down, tentatively rubbing his stomach in the hopes that it might ease the soreness in his abdomen. He still feels pretty terrible, but he doesn’t think he’s going to be sick anymore; if the water hasn’t already come back up, he’s probably okay for now.

Drawing the quilt around himself again, he closes his eyes and slips back into an uneasy sleep.

[phandabbydosey]

Here I Stand ~ Chapter 7

Artist: @lost-clues ~ art here (slight gore in one picture)

Word count: 19082 (so far) - 2285 this part

Rating: R

Warnings: Graphic description of crude medical procedure (amputation), violence, blood, zombies (and all the stuff that comes with it), one or two uses of ableist slurs (send me an ask if you want to know what they are)

Summary: Zombie AU. Everyone knows that getting bitten is the end, that the only fate is death or reanimation. But Dan is different, Phil can’t just let him go and they agree to a drastic ‘surgery’ to remove Dan’s bitten leg and save his life. However, surviving the procedure is only the beginning and Dan faces numerous obstacles on the rough road to recovery in an extreme and dangerous world.

A/n: Soooo after about two years I’ve decided to try and get back into writing again. Sorry about the cliffhanger left on this fic :D

In other news, I’ve lost contact with my old beta reader so if anyone is interested in helping me out then just get in touch :D (also yeah this isn’t beta-d so if anyone spots any issues just let me know)

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“I can’t believe she fucking sold us out,” Kyle growled, his anger just intensifying as he struggled to light the rusty camp stove they’d found in the back of their current hideout, “I told you she was no good.”

They had multiple little store rooms and safe spots in the area surrounding their original house and had just about managed to get in and secure one before night had fallen. Will had rigged up some quick traps so they should be safe even if a horde scented them out, but being away from the familiar security of the house had put them all on edge.

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t continuously treated her like crap she might have stayed loyal,” Dan snapped back, already in an incredibly grumpy mood after the painful trek over. He’d had to be supported by Phil and Scott the entire way and, although they tried their best, the odd knock or scrape had been unavoidable. Not to mention he’d spent weeks just laying on the sofa so his muscles were sore from all the exertion.

“Oh so you’re saying this is my fault?” Kyle turned to glare daggers at Dan, looking as if he were contemplating walking over and giving him a good thump, “When she’s the one who colluded with Liam and the others to steal everything we’ve worked for. She’s the one-”

“That’s enough, boys!” Scott said sternly, standing over the unlit stove with his arms crossed, “It doesn’t matter whose fault this is. There’s things all of us could have done to prevent this and throwing accusations around won’t help anything. What happened, happened. We can’t change that now so the best thing we can do is focus on where we go from here.”

As sour as Dan’s mood was, he couldn’t argue with Scott and was silently grateful they had the older man in their group with them. His years as a doctor had given him a level head and a logical mind that were invaluable when tensions boiled over in the group.

“Scott’s right,” Will said, his voice coming from behind a wall of boxes at the back of the large room. They hadn’t used this storeroom for a while because their scavenging had been sufficient as of late, so he was busy doing an inventory, “We have a good amount of food in here but it won’t last forever and it’s all long life stuff so I doubt the nutrition is going to be great. We don’t need to rush into finding somewhere new, it’s safe enough here, but I don’t really like the idea of it becoming permanent. I’m sure there’s better places out there.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda spooky here,” Lily murmured, her small body curled up on one of the tatty sofas Scott had dragged out, “There’s loads of spiders too.”

“What?” Dan squeaked, his eyes wide as he pushed himself a little more upright on his sofa and looked around the room.

Just like that, the tension in the room seemed to dissolve as everyone began giggling at Dan’s reaction. He might have been deadly in a fight and a sarcastic bastard, but even after everything he’d been through in the apocalypse, he was still deathly afraid of spiders.

-----------------------------------

“C’mon Scott, I only want to go out for an hour or so and Phil will be with me the entire time,” Dan pleaded, “It’s midday and it’s clear outside, I’ll be fine.”

Dan had been begging for days at this point and he’d thought Scott might have broken by now, but the older man was remaining stubborn in his position. They’d stayed in the storehouse for just over a week until Will, Kyle and Phil managed to find a suitable new home. The new place was great, but not exactly what would be described as suitable for a disabled person. There were a lot of stairs so, even with the pair of crutches Will had managed to cobble together from metal pipes and some other scraps, Dan was pretty much stuck in the main living room.

He and Phil had shared one of the bedrooms upstairs at first, but Dan was still very weak and he’d gotten fed up with having to be carried up to bed every night so now he just slept on the sofa.

He’d thought getting the crutches would be great, but the fact he was still very limited in his movements despite them was making him feel more and more trapped in the stuffy living room. He just wanted to go outside and get some fresh air, but Scott was adamant it was too dangerous.

“No, Dan,” he said firmly, not looking up from his washing up bowl, “You’re still too weak. If something happens then Phil won’t be able to get you back inside and protect you both at the same time. Plus it’ll be an unnecessary strain on your body, you’re meant to be building up strength gradually so you don’t end up injuring yourself more. It’s three floors down and back up again, that’s too much for you right now.”

“But I-”

“Dan, I get that you want to go out, but the risks aren’t worth it. We’ll keep doing your exercises and I’m sure you’ll be strong enough soon. Now I don’t want to hear anything else about it.”

Scott’s tone left no room for arguments so Dan just flopped back down onto the sofa, letting out a slightly over dramatic groan that Scott firmly ignored. Lily saw that he was clearly upset so climbed onto the sofa beside him, cuddling up to his chest and talking to him quietly until he dozed off. He was still building back his strength and the exercises Scott put him through daily really wore him out.

Once she was sure Dan was asleep, Lily carefully climbed out from under his arm and headed to the other room where Phil was sorting through the haul from their last scavenging mission.

“How long do you think it’ll be until Dan will be able to walk around better?” She asked as she plonked down onto the floor beside Phil and started to help organise the food.

“I’m really not sure Lil,” Phil sighed. He’d noticed how disheartened Dan was becoming and it was really starting to concern him, but he didn’t know what he could do to help, “He’s strong and he’s determined, but his body really suffered from the trauma and the infection. I’m sure the stress lately didn’t help, either.”

Lily nodded then was silent for a few minutes, not really focused on organising the various packs and cans. “I think you should take him outside,” she whispered, looking up at Phil with dark eyes that were tragically wise beyond her years, “I know Scott says he shouldn’t, but I think he might go crazy or even...give up if he stays stuck in here much longer. You won’t have to take him out for long and you can get Will or Kyle to go with you so you have some protection. If you go in the middle of the day then there shouldn’t even be any zombies around anyway. I just think it might help give him some hope and remind him of why he needs to get himself better as quickly as he can.”

It was Phil’s turn to be silent now, thinking over Lily’s words. He’d always been one to take Scott’s word as law when it came to medical issues, but he’d been an A&E doctor and not a psychiatrist so perhaps he wasn’t fully considering just how bad Dan’s mental state could be getting. Phil knew that he’d suffered depression in the past and had recognised the signs that it might be creeping back in, that would be the last thing Dan needed when he was meant to be focusing on his recovery.

“Scott and Kyle are going out soon to get some more things from the museum group for Will’s prosthetic,” Lily said, seeing that Phil wasn’t far from agreeing with her, “You and Will could take him out then and Scott’d never even have to know.”

“You know, you’re a cunning little thing aren’t you?” Phil chuckled softly, making Lily smirk and giggle, “Looks like we’re going to have a little undercover mission this afternoon.”

--------------------------------

“Dan. Daaaaan. Wake up Dan, we’re breaking you out.”

Dan blinked himself awake slowly, mumbling a complaint as he was shaken gently by whoever was speaking to him. His eyes slowly focused on Will’s messy hair and Phil’s bright eyes, both leaning over him where he’d been sprawled out on the sofa.

“What’re you on about?” He grumbled, not happy about having been disturbed from his nap, “What are you breaking me out of?”

“We’re taking you outside buddy, give you a chance to stretch that one leg you have left,” Will grinned. Dan could hear Lily giggling softly from somewhere behind the pair that were still leaning over him.

“Scott’s out at the moment and it’s completely clear outside,” Phil explained when he saw how confused Dan looked about Will’s joke, “I know he said you weren’t allowed out, but we all agreed it’ll do you more harm than good to just wait until your strength is properly back up. Will is going to come to protect us in case something happens, so I’ll be able to support you the whole way if you need it.”

“A-Are you serious?” Dan’s eyes were wide and he shot up into a seated position, looking between his friends as if he didn’t quite believe what he was hearing, “You’re taking me out?”

“Yep,” Phil grinned, happy to be seeing some kind of joy in Dan’s face for the first time in a while, “We can’t stay out long because Scott is right when he says your body is still weak, but I was thinking we could go and sit on the wall out front for a bit so you can get some proper fresh air and just get out of this house for a while.”

“Oh my god, thank you so much!” Dan beamed, throwing his arms around Phil and giving him a tight squeeze. It was clear from his elation at the simple idea of short visit outside how much being stuck in the house was affecting him, confirming for everyone in the room that the risks were more than worth it, “I love you so much.”

“Hey, it was my idea,” Lily piped up, her own face almost splitting in half with her wide grin, “Where’s my love?”

“C’mere then,” Dan giggled, waving the younger girl over to receive a tight hug.

“Right, as cute as this all is,” Will interrupted, his arms crossed though his face also sported a large grin, “We’ve got somewhere to be, so shall we head off?”

It wasn’t easy to get Dan down the multiple flights of stairs in their new home. Will was walking in front, ready to catch Dan if he fell or fight off any trouble that came their way, while Phil supported most of Dan’s weight. He’d initially tried to go down on his own using his crutches, but he’d almost immediately fallen and nearly took both Phil and Will down the whole flight of stairs with him.

By the time they reached the bottom, Dan’s limbs were all trembling a little from the effort and his forehead was covered in a slight sheen of sweat. Phil wondering if maybe this was too much for him after all, but all of his doubts wiped away the moment they stepped outside the front door.

Though he was still a little breathless, the smile on Dan’s face was bright enough to rival the sun. The last time he’d been outside had been when they moved to the new house and, thanks to a run in with a hoard after they’d broken into a building to rest, that hadn’t exactly been an enjoyable experience.

But now they were safe and there were no zombies to be seen, so Dan could truly just enjoy being out in the open air. The sun was hidden behind some clouds but it was still giving Dan a pleasant warmth against his skin, only a slight breeze blowing past and ruffling his curly fringe.

Phil gently guided Dan over to a little wall that bordered the house’s overgrown front garden, helping him sit down comfortably before taking the spot beside him. Will was stood out in the street, keeping an eye out but also giving Dan and Phil some space to enjoy this moment together.

Neither of them said anything for a long while, Phil giving Dan time just to relish in his happiness. At one point Dan leant into Phil’s chest, a soft, contented hum rumbling in his chest. His smile hadn’t dimmed once since they’d stepped outside.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. It was so calm and serene, he didn’t want to disturb that, “I didn’t realise just how much I missed...this. Just being outside and not couped up in that stuffy living room. I know I still can’t do anything more, but it’s making me feel more...free.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Phil murmured back, looking down at Dan fondly, “I’d do anything to help you feel better, God knows you deserve it after these last few months.”

“You really are perfect, you know that?” Dan grinned, tearing his gaze away from the sky to look up into Phil’s face. He leant forward, capturing Phil’s lips in a brief but very sweet kiss, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

[boofphil]

because he loves him

2010!dan

summary: dan has been getting sick a lot recently, making phil worried (based off dan's 2010 surgery)

word count: 2090

genre: fluff, sickfic

warnings: mentions of vomiting

A/N: i can’t title help me

Dan didn’t think much of it at first. When his stomach started hurting after most meals, he brushed it off as bad university food. [add more here] He figured a weekend at Phil’s would help with food that didn’t taste questionable. After dinner, the two went to the lounge to watch a movie. Not too long into however, Dan’s stomach started feeling funny. Dan frowned, knowing what would come next. Phil noticed Dan shifting uncomfortably next to him.

“Dan? What’s wrong?” Phil asked.

Dan tried to ignore it. “I’m fine.”

Phil gave him a concerned look, but didn’t press on.

It didn’t take long before Dan’s stomach began to ache, much to Dan’s dismay. He couldn’t blame bad food on this one. He pulled his knees to his chest and crossed his arms over his stomach, subtly trying to ease his stomachache. The pain worsened with each passing minute and Dan found himself unable to focus on the movie anymore. He didn’t want to worry Phil; it would only be a matter of time before he noticed, so Dan needed to find a way to relief the pain before Phil picked up on it.

“I’m going to use the bathroom,” Dan excused himself, standing up and trying not to wince as the pain worsened.

“Do you need me to pause the movie?” Phil asked, glancing over at Dan.

Dan shook his head, then left to go to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom, he doubled over and clutched his stomach, face grimacing. This one felt worse than the usual stomach pains. He sat down on the floor, curling up as much as possible.

He planned to wait a couple minutes before going back out, yet he was too distracted by the pain to pay attention to how long he was in there. He only became aware of how much time had passed when there was a knock on the door.

“Dan? Are you alright in there? You’ve been in there for twenty minutes.”

Dan groaned; his stomach didn’t feel any better than when he first came in.

“What’s wrong?” Phil said, worry evident his voice.

Dan didn’t respond, hoping Phil would go away. He knew Phil wouldn’t leave, of course; he’d be an awful boyfriend if he did.

“Dan, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’ll have to pick the lock to get in.”

“No…” Dan whimpered, stomach cramping. Why did this stomachache have to feel so awful? Having a decent dinner with his boyfriend was supposed to help, not make it worse. Now Phil would find out about his stomachaches and force him to visit the doctor, something he couldn’t afford as a university student.

There was some noise with the door knob, signaling that Phil had resorted to picking the lock to get in. Dan hid his face against his legs, not wanting to see the worry on Phil’s face. The door swung open and nearly hit Dan. Phil stepped in, closing the door behind him and crouching down to Dan’s level.

“Dan, please talk to me,” Phil whispered, gently rubbing Dan’s back. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

Dan shook his head. “My stomach hurts again.”

Phil frowned. “Again?”

Dan lifted his head. “It’s been hurting all week.”

This further worried Phil. Why hadn’t Dan told him about this sooner? “Does it come and go or has it constantly been there?”

“Only after I ate meals. I thought it was the university food, but I guess not.”

Phil could see how upset this was making Dan, so he decided to wait until later when he was feeling better to talk about it. He placed a hand on Dan’s cheek, letting the younger boy lean into it and close his eyes. “How about you go lay down in my bed while I go buy you some medicine, alright? We can talk about what to do later.” Dan nodded in agreement, eyes fluttering back open as Phil removed his hand from Dan’s cheek. He helped Dan get to his bed, where the younger boy curled up with his arms around his stomach. Phil tucked him in and pressed a kiss to his head, promising to be back in ten minutes.

Phil waited until the next day to bring up going to the doctor. The two were cuddling on the couch, Dan settled between Phil’s legs. His head was resting on Phil’s chest with Phil’s arms tight around him.

“Hey Dan?”

Dan looked up at Phil, his fringe falling into his eyes.

“Do you think you should see a doctor about your stomach?”

Phil felt Dan instantly tense. He obviously didn’t want to go to the doctor, even though it would only get worse the longer he waited. “I really don’t want to. Can we just wait another week?”

Phil shook his head. “It’ll only get worse. I don’t mean to scare you Dan, but it could be something serious.”

Dan sighed, hiding his face in Phil’s chest. “I’ll go tomorrow, if it’ll make you happy.”

Phil smiled, kissing Dan’s hair. “It would. I want my boyfriend happy and healthy.”

“Ew, you’re being sappy.”

Phil lifted Dan’s head and began planting kisses over his face, making Dan scrunch his noise. “Yes, I am,” Phil said teasingly between kisses. “Because I love you.” “Noo,” Dan giggled, face turning pink. “Stop it.”

Phil planted a kiss on Dan’s nose, then on his lips. He smiled into the kiss as he felt Dan sigh contently. “Never.”

Dan pulled away, looking fondly at Phil. “I love you too.” He leaned back in, the two getting lost in each other.

A week later, however, the two found themselves in A&E. Dan was staring at the ground, a hand pressed against his stomach. Even with the pills prescribed from the doctor, Dan’s stomachaches became more frequent and painful. It had gotten to the point where Dan was skipping meals to avoid the pain that came after them. Phil had been worried the entire time, insisting that Dan stayed at his place until he got better. Dan hadn’t gone to class at all, instead spending most of the day curled up in Phil’s bed with stomach pains. Phil drew the line when Dan had thrown up his lunch.

“Is your stomach feeling any better now?” Phil leaned over and whispered. He was a bit conscious of the looks they were getting, considering they were two young adults with matching haircuts and skinny jeans.

Dan shrugged. “Not really. But it’s not as bad as when I threw up.”

Phil sighed. Dan was obviously upset about having to come to the A&E, not to mention how unwell he felt. The only thing they could hope for now was that they could get in and out as quickly as possible.

Eventually, Dan was called back. After some examination and discussion, the doctor concluded that Dan would need surgery. It was a simple one that wouldn’t take long, meaning Dan would be out sooner. It was scheduled for tomorrow, meaning Dan would have to stay overnight. Unfortunately, Phil wouldn’t be allowed to stay once visiting hours were over. Knowing Dan was in safe hands and he’d be called if anything went wrong, Phil kissed Dan before reluctantly leaving.

The surgery went well for Dan, and when Phil arrived, Dan was already awake and feeling much better. At least, that’s what Phil assumed. Dan was very loopy from the amount of morphine he received. It was hard to understand much of what he was saying, or even to get him to understand what was being said to him. Dan slept on and off through the day, Phil always by his side, occasionally waking up to talk gibberish. Phil didn’t mind; he thought Dan was awfully cute. Then again, when didn’t he?

In the evening, Dan was a bit more coherent, so the doctors talked to them about what was going to happen next.

“He’ll have to stay a few more days to make sure everything is going fine, and he’ll have lots of pills to take, but other than that he should be fine. The surgery was simple enough and as long as there’s no complications, he’ll be out of here in no time.”

Phil nodded intently as the doctor spoke, while Dan stared at him through glossy eyes. He understood what the doctor was saying and at the same time didn’t. He concluded that he would simply have Phil take care of whatever it was. With that thought, and no regards to the doctor who was still speaking, Dan turned back over and fell asleep.

“I’m hungry.”

Phil looked up from his phone to see Dan laying on his side, pouting. He raised his eyebrows. “Didn’t you eat two hours ago?”

Dan sighed, flopping on his back. “Yeah but that was gross hospital food. I would barely even call it a meal.”

Phil wasn’t too surprised Dan was complaining about being hungry; he had seen the meal size and it wasn’t very satisfying. Not to mention, Dan was still growing and ate a lot. Phil would know. Dan has proven that he can eat half of Phil’s food in two days. “Well, I don’t think you can get a second lunch here.”

“Not that I want any,” Dan grumbled, crossing his arms. “I miss real food. The kind you’d dress up fancy and go to an overpriced restaurant for.”

Phil rolled his eyes fondly at Dan’s dramatics. “Unfortunately, you’re not allowed to leave the hospital to visit such restaurants.”

Dan smiled slightly. “Well, there is such thing as fast food restaurants.”

Phil raised his eyebrows again.

Dan rolled over, giving Phil his best puppy eyes. “Will you be a kind boyfriend and get me McDonald’s?”

“No way, Dan,” Phil said, trying his best to sound stern. “That’s too risky.”

“It’ll be fine, you can wrap it up in a jacket. It won’t hurt me, if that’s what you’re worried about. My tummy’s fine now.”

Phil tried to stay stern, but the sad eyes and way Dan was pouting was making his heart ache.

“Phil,” Dan whined, “please?”

It wasn’t fair. Dan was too cute and Phil was too in love to say no. He stood up, giving in. “Fine.”

Dan’s face lit up into a big smile, making Phil’s heart squeeze with affection. “I love you Philly!”

Phil sighed, leaning down and giving Dan a kiss. “Love you too. But if I get caught it’s your fault.”

Dan shrugged. “Whatever, nerd. Now go get me some food.”

Phil left, shaking his head in exasperation. Dan waited restlessly for him to return, his stomach begging him for food. Finally, after what seemed to be forever, Phil returned with a jacket bundle that held the holy greasiness that was McDonald’s food. Dan made grabby hands for it, mouth watering with anticipation.

“Jeez, Dan calm down,” Phil snickered. He handed Dan the bundle, letting him unravel it to reveal a McDonald’s bag.

Dan tore open the bag and pulled out the burger container. He opened it and picked up the burger, taking a bite. He moaned. “God, this tastes like heaven.”

Phil watched with great amusement as Dan savored the preservative-packed burger like it was a five star meal. “Do you need a moment with your burger?”

“Shut up. You’d do the same thing if you tasted the hospital food here.” He practically inhaled the rest of his burger, then flopped back against the bed.

“There’s some fries in there as well,” Phil pointed out.

Dan’s eyes widened and he snatched up the bag, pulling out the fries. “You’re an angel,” he said breathlessly.

Phil snorted. “You’re welcome. Now share some with me.”

Dan held out the fries, allowing Phil to grab some. The two ate their fries in silence. Dan finished the fries off as fast as the burger, stuffing the empty container into the bag. “Seriously, Phil, thank you for that.”

Phil smiled, standing up so he could drop a kiss on Dan’s forehead. “Anything for you.”

Dan pretended to be disgusted, but his pink cheeks betrayed him.

“Now do me a favor and keep getting better, alright?”

Dan smiled softly. “I will.” He took Phil’s hand in his own, looking down like he always did whenever he said something affectionate. “I have you, after all. I know you’ll take care of me.”

And he was right. Phil would always be there for him, and Dan would do it right back. All because they loved each other.

[phancystuff]

Trying to Remember How it Feels (To Have a Heartbeat) 5/7

Pairing: Dan/ Phil (Phan) Summary: Dan moves into a new apartment in London and, though it’s a step up from his old apartment, his landlord gives him strange warnings while he’s touring the place– something about the last renters leaving because of ghost sightings. But, Dan doesn’t believe in the supernatural. He quickly changes his tune when he meets Phil Lester, the ghost haunting his apartment. Well, if haunting means quickly becoming the best friend he’s ever had. (Title from Harry Styles’ song Two Ghosts) Notes: Part 5 of my Spooky Week Special, already?? This fic is almost 100% already written and I plan on updating it every day until Halloween. Please note that, although this fic has the warning of major character death, it is not in any way graphic. Tags/ Warnings: ghost au, Halloween, major character death (obv. it’s a ghost au lol), depictions of panic attacks, angst, fluff, HAPPY ENDING, mentions of suicide (it happens in a movie they watch)

Read it on AO3 Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

“I died for a stupid reason. I lost out on all my chances in life because my landlord wrote off on an inspection that hadn’t been completed.” Dan closed his eyes, suddenly questioning whether or not he wanted to hear Phil’s cause of death. He had waited so long to find out, the question itching underneath his skin, ever since that night that Phil had exploded at Dan for asking. But now, Dan didn’t want Phil to say another word.

“Phil, please, you don’t have to-- I don’t want you to-- Phil…” Dan didn’t even know what he was trying to say, but Phil didn’t even glance at Dan.

“It started out with regular flu symptoms. I didn’t think anything of it for a couple days. But it didn’t get better. In fact, my flu started to get downright scary.” Phil looked beyond the lounge, eyes far away like he was imagining himself seven years ago. “I was often confused.” Phil let out a hollow laugh that grated again Dan’s skin. It sounded nothing like Phil’s laughs. It sounded nothing like his loud, long giggles when Dan did something funny. It sounded nothing like his low, intimate chuckles when they cuddled in bed. It sounded nothing like his hissing snickers when he was trying to stop himself from laughing. Phil had a hundred different laughs, but this was one that Dan never wanted to hear again.

“One day I found myself out on the balcony, sitting on the railing and looking down at the city.” Dan sucked in a harsh breath and held it, praying that Phil wasn’t about to say what Dan feared the most. “I had no idea how I got there. I’d lay in bed and my muscles would seize up and my vision would go back.” Dan breathed out shakily. “I called my mom and she urged me to see the doctor. I figured it could wait a day and so I scheduled the appointment and I--”

The monotone voice that Phil spoke with cracked. Dan watched as the mask on Phil’s face shattered and his face contorted with raw emotion. Phil choked back a sob and Dan pushed his palms into his closed eyes, feeling the back of his throat tighten and a few tears wet his palms. “I-I went to sleep.”

The flat was as silent as a tomb. Dan could hear the soft hum of the TV, indicating that it was still on. He could hear their neighbors having a distant, muted conversation. Dan wondered briefly what they were talking about. What to have for dinner, maybe. Definitely not how the other had died. Dan spoke the words that he intuitively knew were true, despite wanting to clap his hand over his mouth, over Phil’s mouth, and never return to this conversation again. “You never woke up?”

“I never woke up.” Phil agreed. There was a beat. “Carbon monoxide poisoning. The furnace was broken.” Dan was filled with anger, wanting to find the person responsible for Phil’s death. Dan wanted to find him and kill him.

Phil’s reaction to the movie suddenly made sense. Dan had brought him back to that place. He brought him back his death. Dan cried now, freely. He got down on his knees next to Phil and gathered him in his arms. “No one found my body for a week.”

“Oh, god, Phil.” Dan rocked the ghost, not caring that the Phil’s cheek was pressed painfully to the bare crook of his neck. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter anymore. Phil had been so alone in his death; he didn’t have to be alone ever again. Dan would make sure of it.

 “Ph-Phil, I’m so s-sorry. So sorry.” Sorry for the movie, sorry for the way Phil had died, sorry for how unfairly life had treated them both. Sorry that they hadn’t found each other, their soulmates, until death had claimed one of them. They both cried.

Dan wished that Phil had never told Dan how he died, because now Dan was plagued by the image of Phil, alone, watching his own body deteriorate for a week, waiting on someone to find him and relieve just a bit of his suffering.

***

It took three days of crying in each other’s arms for Dan and Phil to be able to pick themselves up again. Phil was distraught by the memories of his death, but Dan was downright inconsolable. He struggled to balance the conflicting images of Phil that wrestled inside his mind. Images of amazingphil smiling hugely into a camera, images of his Phil clutching his hand as they decorated for Halloween and danced to silly music, images of a decaying Phil lying motionless under a familiar green and blue duvet. Dan now understood the images of Phil in bed that Dan often saw when Phil was initially possessing Dan’s body. Dan had been unknowingly watching Phil decaying in his own memories. These images haunted Dan. They kept him awake at night.

Dan tried to shake it off, like Phil had successfully done. It worked from the perspective of someone looking outside in, but Dan knew that those images were burned in his retinas forever.

“Let’s go out today, Phil.” Dan said, standing in the shower, scrubbing himself under the scalding water. It was too hot, making his skin pink and sensitive. He rubbed himself too hard, almost as if he was trying to rid himself of his own skin.

Phil sat on the toilet directly outside of the shower. He was reading a Stephen King novel on his iPad, but had wanted to keep Dan company. “Sure, ok. Where do you want to go?”

Dan hummed, rinsing soap out of his hair. “I want us to have a day of it. Go to breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Go to the movies, maybe. Visit a bookstore. I don’t know.” Dan spat out the watery bubbles that dripped into his mouth while talking. He just wanted to be distracted and he didn’t want to go out without Phil. He didn’t want to do anything without Phil, preferring to continue to put off his friends and make excuses to his mum.

Phil read another page before answering distractedly. “Sounds fun. It’s perfect that you woke up so uncharacteristically early.” Dan opened the shower curtain and flicked soap at Phil who screeched and held the iPad far away from his body, squawking about soap killing Apple products. Dan almost felt normal for the first time in a week.

Dan finished his shower, shutting the water off and climbing into the chilly air of the bathroom. Phil looked up from his iPad, eyeing Dan up and down. “Nice bod, mate.” Dan would have blushed deeper if he hadn’t taken such a hot shower, wrapping a towel around his waist instead.

“Shut up, creep. You probably use your ghostly powers for pervy stuff, mate .” Dan grabbed another towel and rubbed his hair dry.

Phil cupped his chin in the palms of his hands and looked at Dan with his head cocked. “Believe it or not, I tried very hard not to use my ghostly powers for pervy stuff. It seemed nonconsensual and yucky.” He tapped a finger on his cheek and watched a drop of water slide down Dan’s chest and into the edge of his towel. “But, you can consent.”

Dan whipped the towel in his hands at Phil, admonishing the ghost boy. Phil just laughed and followed Dan into his bedroom where Dan dressed for their day out. Dan tried to run his fingers through his hair to tame the bush that seemed to grow out of his scalp, but quickly gave up and just laid on the bed. He looked up at Phil and sensually whispered, “enter me.”

A surprised laugh exploded out of Phil’s lips and it was his turn to admonish the living boy with a “Daniel!” Dan giggled back. Phil gingerly placed himself on top of Dan and quickly let go of his physical manifestation. He sunk into Dan’s body and allowed himself to enjoy the honeyed life that washed over his consciousness. Phil watched the images of Dan’s life flash through his head like he was watching a pleasing TV show. Everything was tinged golden.

Meanwhile, the images that Dan was subjected to were a lot more meaningful, ever since having the conversation with Phil about his death. He understood what he was looking at when he watched Phil lie motionless on his bed. Usually Dan was able to protect himself with mental armor; he found that, this time around, he couldn’t keep himself from feeling every one of Phil’s past emotions. Boredom, emptiness, loss, nostalgia, anger, bitterness, deep sadness. They came in such close succession and never-ending waves, that they all melded into one black cloud of gloom.

When Dan’s vision cleared at the familiar ceiling of his flat stared back at him, the black cloud was still lodged in his heart and he couldn’t even get the motivation to speak or register what Phil was using his eyes to look at.

“Dan? Helloooo, Dan?” Phil’s curious, slightly worried voice finally reached Dan’s ears.

Hmm? Sorry, what?

“Did you hear what I said?”

Uh, no. Sorry. 

“Are you ok? You sound a little shaken up.” Phil looked in the mirror in Dan’s bedroom and Dan’s concerned brown eyes stared back at him. It was a bit unnerving.

Yeah, I’m ok. Distracted, that’s all. What’s for breakfast? Dan tried to sound normal, but was nervous that he just sounded fake. If Phil noticed Dan’s strangeness, he didn’t comment on it.

Phil raised his eyebrow, “uh, pancakes, duh. Do you even know me, Daniel?”

Dan huffed out a laugh. You and your pancakes. You’re an addict!

“Hey, I could be going to do some cocaine. I do have full control over your body, right now.”

Yeah, but all these pancakes are going to make me pudgy.

Phil poked at his tummy, his finger sinking into Dan’s soft belly. “Good! You would look so cute. More pancakes, it is!”

Dan laughed past the dark feelings that continued to attack him, hoping it didn’t sound as hollow as it felt. Phil left the bedroom, grabbing a warm jacket. As he pulled it on, its downy material caressed his arms and Phil closed his eyes and hummed at the sensation. Phil was constantly amazed by how everything felt. He had taken it for granted when he was alive, so he noticed and categorized every single sensation when he borrowed Dan’s body. Phil could appreciate all feelings, but he especially loved soft things: chairs, cotton shirts, kittens, autumn breezes, Dan’s skin, Dan’s hair. Dan was his favorite soft thing.

Phil also picked up Dan’s keys, wallet, and the little bluetooth earphone that they had bought. Phil wore it in his ear when he was possessing Dan, so that they could have conversations. That way, Phil didn’t look too crazy, talking to himself on the street. Or at least as crazy as he could look.

Phil had pretty much been on a mission to find the best pancakes in London, ever since gaining the ability to possess Dan. He had discovered an American-style diner that served the fluffiest pancakes he’d ever had. He hailed a cab and directed the cabbie to the diner, fitting his bluetooth earphone into his ear so that he could talk to Dan.

“Hi, I’m on my way to the diner.”

I can see that, thanks for the update. Phil could hear the smile in his voice and Phil laughed.

“Don’t be cheeky.” There was a pause. “I wish we could eat together. I wish I could take you on a proper date.”

Oh yeah? Where would we go?

Phil rubbed his hands along the cab’s interior, feeling the slippery plastic and trying to memorize the feeling. He breathed in the car’s musty smell and decided he didn’t have to memorize that one, although he could still appreciate it. He would appreciate the smell of vomit, for chrissakes. Anyone would, if they suddenly could smell after seven senseless years. “I don’t know London very well, since I only lived here a couple weeks, before… you know.”

Yeah. Dan’s voice sounded quiet, sad, and distant. Phil hated it and almost wished he had never told Dan how he’d died.

“But!” Phil said brightly, trying to take Dan’s mind off of it, “I know Manchester pretty well. I think I would take you to the Wheel of Manchester and we would kiss at the very top of it and I would cuddle you close because it’s cold up there.” Dan didn’t have the heart to tell Phil that the Wheel had been closed for a couple years now.

“Then, we’d go to the Sky Bar. It’s really high up and you can see the whole city stretched out below you. I would pay for your meal and we would have fancy drinks while watching the sunset. There would probably be more kissing.” Phil took a moment to picture it. Dan’s silhouette against the blazing backdrop. Phil holding both Dan’s hands in the middle of the table, rubbing his thumb over Dan’s knuckles. The pinks, purples, and oranges bathing Dan’s soft face in color. Phil would lean over the table and softly touch his lips to Dan’s. They would be pillowy and warm and so would Phil’s. There would be no stab of cold. Both of them would feel alive and warm and happy.

Dan had asked Phil to kiss him multiple times and, every time, he had refused. He wasn’t going to hurt Dan like that and there was no way he was going to cover either of their faces to take part in an unnatural kiss that would just leave them both unsatisfied.

It sounds perfect, Phil. I would be wooed.

Phil looked out the window wistfully and watched the chaos of London. He imagined that Dan was next to him in the car, instead of inside his head. “Yeah, I’m pretty charming.” The cabbie snorted, hiding it with a cough, and Phil remembered himself. “Well, um, I’m going to go now. I’m almost to the diner.”

Almost to those thicc pancakes.

Phil whispered, “lemme see that pancussy” and Dan was laughing loudly in his head. Phil just hoped that the cabbie didn’t hear him.

At the diner, at Dan’s insistence, Phil ordered their tallest stack of chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream on top. The waiter brought him a cup of coffee while he waited and Phil took a sip, reveling in the deep taste that blanketed his tongue. Bitter, sweet, rich. “Coffee, Dan.”

Coffee, Phil? Dan asked. Phil could hear the fondness in his voice.

“Coffee.” Phil set the cup down and inhaled. There were so many wonderful smells swirling around him. The warm, cozy smell of greasy food. Coffees and other hot drinks. The smell of people: shoes, soap, and sweat. When Phil’s pancakes came, he tucked into them. He couldn’t help but shovel in mouthfuls of fluffy cake, taking stock of every note that swirled and danced over his tastebuds. Phil mumbled to Dan, describing the tastes, despite the fact that Dan definitely knew what pancakes tasted like. Phil always found himself likening tastes to memories he had from his life. These pancakes tasted like the time that Phil and his first girlfriend had kissed. Sickly sweet, soft, fluffy. Dan, as always, listened and laughed fondly at Phil.

“Excuse me?” Phil was suddenly aware of a presence at his elbow. He turned and saw a teenaged girl with dark skin and equally dark eyes.

“Oh! Hello!” Phil smiled warmly. He had no idea why this girl was talking to him, but he appreciated the ability to talk to people again. Since he had mostly talked to Dan, cashiers, cabbies, and servers, he was always excited to strike up conversation with a stranger.

It’s a fan, probably, Dan informed him.

“Ohhh,” Phil replied and then shut his mouth tight, realizing that the sudden outburst didn’t make a whole lot of sense to the young girl standing in front of him.

Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice. Anxiously, she fluffed her hair. “Um, are you Daniel Howell? From YouTube?”

Phil hopped up from his seat and extended his hand toward the girl. “Yep! That’s me.” They shook hands and Phil’s eyebrows furrowed. She probably wanted a hug, not a weird handshake. It was too late to change, now. “It’s good to meet you!”

She smiled nervously, “it’s really good to meet you too. I’ve loved your recent videos. Um, can I have a selfie?” Phil agreed and took the picture with the fan, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and smiling brightly. He hoped that he was looking the part of Dan. The man in question had become quiet in his head, which Phil appreciated. If Dan had coached him, he probably would have just gotten more nervous. The girl swiped at her phone and smiled at the screen. “It’s a nice photo. Thank you! I’ll, uh, leave you to your breakfast.”

Phil smiled again, hoping he didn’t look manic. “You’re welcome. It was good to meet you!” Phil sat, letting out a relieved sigh. He muttered softly to Dan, “that was kinda weird.”

Nah, you played the part of socially awkward Dan pretty well. At least you spoke with my voice and not yours. Phil nodded and finished his breakfast and paid the bill. He purposely spoke to people around London with Dan’s voice, in case someone recognized him. It would be hard to explain why Dan suddenly had a deeper, more Northern voice.

The more Phil thought about the occurrence with the fan, the more uncomfortable he felt. They were kind of lying to her, weren’t they? She wasn’t really meeting Daniel Howell, just his body. It was kind of creepy, actually. She had unknowingly had a conversation with a ghost. And the photo. Phil didn’t want even want to think about what the photo looked like. Probably like someone was wearing a Dan mask. Later, when Phil was walking the short distance to a nearby bookstore, he voiced his concerns to Dan.

“Isn’t it kind of creepy?” The person walking past him looked at Phil alarmed. Phil tapped against the bluetooth earphone, trying to indicate a phone call to the person walking down the sidewalk.

I don’t think so. I mean, I was still in here. You said everything I would have said. She doesn’t need to know that it wasn’t exactly me she was talking to. You worried too much about this stuff. You and your morals.

Phil shrugged, then realized that Dan couldn’t see the movement. “I guess. It just made me feel kinda dirty.”

It would only be dirty if you, like, masturbated while you were in my body.

Phil choked. “That’s, that’s got nothing to do with our current conversation. What the hell!”

***

The day progressed and Phil eventually forgot about his interaction with Dan’s fan. Instead, he focused on his first full day exploring London. They went to Starbucks after the bookstore (It’s a bit corporate, isn’t it? “I need to try a seasonal drink! Pumpkin spiced latte, here I come!”). Phil sat by the window and people-watched, while sipping a latte that reminded him of carving pumpkins with his family. They checked out a couple of comic book stores with hilariously nerdy names (Orc’s Nest, that’s incredible.) and made fun of the silly mangas and obscure graphic novel genres (“Dan, Dan, Dan this is the ‘paranormal romance’ genre. It’s literally us.” Oh my god, someone understands.).

Dan directed Phil into overpriced clothing shops and made Phil try on clothes, which Phil complained about, but actually enjoyed. It was fun to feel the fabrics and put on actual clothes. It wasn’t like changing his appearance or wearing Dan’s clothes when he was a ghost. Those clothes didn’t feel like anything. They were simply a means to an end. In Dan’s body, Phil noticed the differences between cotton, silk, denim, and polyester on his skin. He noticed the weight of the clothing and how it brushed against his skin when he walked around. Plus, it was an excuse to touch Dan’s body and unabashedly appraise how the clothes hung on him. Phil tried on sweaters, button-ups, ripped jeans, shorts, suits, sweatpants, a lot of leather items. Dan and Phil joked back and forth as they always did, making inappropriate comments and giving each other compliments. It was the most fun either of them had clothes shopping.  

However, Dan couldn’t quite shake the uneasiness that followed him throughout the whole day. He still hadn’t been able to get rid of the emotions that bombarded him when Phil had possessed him that morning. While they were shopping, Dan felt really weak, despite the fact that he didn’t have a physical body. It was harder to talk to Phil; he had to work hard to send his thoughts over to Phil’s conscious mind. It was like there was a barrier to push through. Dan also swore that the edges of his vision were blurry. He kept telling himself that he was imagining things, though. He had sort of dealt with these symptoms in the past; they were probably worse because Phil had been possessing him for so long. Dan just ignored them and enjoyed the day with Phil.

As a joke, Phil bought Dan a pastel pink jumper that made his face look adorably soft. (Phil, if you haven’t noticed, I kind of don’t wear pink. “What? I hadn’t noticed! This is embarrassing.” Oh, shut up. I’m never wearing it.)

Phil was having the time of his life. He ducked into every shop and cafe, often just to look. He smiled and struck up conversation with every friendly person along the way. He pet all the dogs that walked by him and stopped to stare at tall buildings, weird sculptures, and different cloud formations in the sky. Dan watched, content to be quiet and enjoy Phil’s childlike wonder.

Dan didn’t start feeling really weird until halfway through the movie that he convinced Phil to go see. It wasn’t that hard to convince Phil, really. The only thing that had made him hesitate was the fact that the Blade Runner sequel was almost three hours long (“I dunno, Dan, a movie like that requires some mental preparation.” Come on, I’ll bet you miss the cinema.)

But, at the halfway point of the movie, it was Dan who was wishing that the film wasn’t so damn long. Dan watched in mild panic as his vision blurred and darkened, like someone was covering his eyes in a black, translucent film. Do you see that? Dan asked, distressed and hoping that it was just a movie effect.

“Hmm? See what?” Phil whispered, distracted. A fellow moviegoer shushed Phil immediately. “Sorry,” Phil apologized sheepishly to the disgruntled woman sitting next to them. “I can’t really talk right now, Dan.”

Dan’s vision cleared and the screen was bright again. If Dan could blink, he would do it several times to clear his head. Ok, ignore me. It was nothing.

But, it wasn’t “nothing.” And it came back. And it seemed to get worse throughout the movie. With it, came an aching that was much like a headache… but that was impossible, since Dan didn’t have a head at the moment. And then, terrifyingly enough, the black film over his vision stopped going away. Instead, it began to get more opaque. It was almost as if Dan was going unconscious in slow motion. Each time Dan went to alert Phil, Dan brushed it off and decided not to alarm the ghost. After the movie, Dan would just ask Phil to head home so that he could have his body back. Dan wasn’t about to ruin what Phil was constantly describing as “the best day of his life.”

But, Dan didn’t get the chance to make his request. Phil left the movie and talked to Dan animatedly about the plot, gesticulating his hands. And Dan couldn’t reply. He couldn’t force a single word through the invisible barrier that seemed to get thicker and thicker. Before Dan knew it, he was looking out and seeing nothing but vague shapes in a black mire.

“Wow, I hadn’t realized how much I missed going to the cinema. It’s such an experience-- and the cinema has gotten so much better since 2010. How is that even possible? The sound is so immersive and the quality! God, the quality.”

Phil. Phil something’s wrong. Dan tried to communicate, but found himself wholly unable to make Phil hear. The ghost continued to talk, energized about the movie. Phil? Phil! PHIL! Dan’s vision went completely black and then his hearing started to go. It was like he was plunged underneath water. Phil’s voice was wobbly and muffled. Dan could vaguely make out his own name in Phil’s mouth. Dan was fully panicking now. Without vision or hearing, what would tether him to reality?

And just like that, Dan’s world was empty. He could see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing. And then, he was having a hard time forming thoughts. Eventually, all that was left was an emotion, or rather several thousand emotions. All belonging to Phil and filling Dan with the rawest feeling of dread that he distantly hoped he would never feel again.

***

Dan was gone. Phil looked wildly around the park that he had stumbled in, as if he would find Dan hiding among the bushes. One minute, Phil had been pleasantly rambling about Blade Runner. Dan hadn’t been responding to Phil’s observations… but Phil had just thought that Dan was more contented to just listen to Phil rant.

But then, Phil had grown anxious when Dan didn’t answer Phil’s outright questions. At first, Phil was worried that Dan was angry with him. The anxiety morphed into outright panic when Dan didn’t even answer when Phil started to call his name in an increasingly desperate voice. Phil knew that it was something much worse than Dan simply being angry with him.

Now, Phil was yelling Dan’s name frantically. Dan was gone. Phil had forced Dan out of his own body, without even noticing it was happening. Phil scrubbed his hands through his hair. Dan’s hair. Fuck, Phil should have never used Dan like this. He thought of the fan that he had met and taken a picture with. He thought about Dan being so lethargic after Phil had possessed him the other day. Phil felt sick. He swallowed back bile that was rising up his throat. He should have never done this.

Phil breathed in slowly, realizing that yelling Dan’s name was doing nothing to help the situation. He had to think fast. He needed to dosomething. Phil needed to remove himself from Dan’s body and quick. He didn’t want to waste a single second wondering what would happen if he didn’t.

Phil ripped himself from Dan’s body. At first, it felt like all the other times that he had removed himself after possession. There was the overwhelming sense of numbness washing over him, that almost felt comforting this time around. But then, Phil was burning. He didn’t know how, because he didn’t have a physical body, but he was burning. There was fire licking around his non-corporeal form; there had to be. He screamed in agony.

Phil couldn’t leave the flat unless he was possessing Dan. That had been one of the first things that he had discovered upon waking up as a ghost. He had attempted to leave the flat the morning he woke up and separated from his physical body. There hadn’t been any pain when he tried to leave, he just couldn’t. It was like there was an invisible rope tethering Phil to the flat. When he tried to leave, he could sense the tether stretching and refusing to break. But, there was no pain.

But this, this was pain. It was physical, mental, emotional fire. If Phil had skin, there would be nothing left of it. There wasn’t room in his head for a single thought other than agony. Phil’s vision was a blinding, searing white.

It felt like an eternity of pain, but it must have only been a millisecond and then it was all over and Phil was back at the flat.

He only had a few moments where Phil enjoyed the relief that replaced the pain. He felt a deep exhaustion that he had never known. It was worse than when he was alive and tried to go to the gym and was worked so hard by the personal trainer that he had vomited. It was worse than that one time that his family had gone on holiday to ski and Phil’s every muscle ached from being on the mountain all day. It was worse than that time in uni when he stayed away for 30 hours, trying to finish an essay. It was worse than after the first time he had accidentally possessed Dan and could only muster out the message that he didn’t have enough energy to manifest himself.

Dan. Phil remembered Dan. How could he have forgotten about Dan? Dan’s body was back in some fucking park. Phil didn’t even know if there was an ounce of Dan left in that body. Phil couldn’t get back to him, could he? Dan was going to fucking die there and it would be all Phil’s fault.

Phil had no energy left, but he had to try… something. Anything to save Dan. Phil pushed past the feeling of utter exhaustion and emptiness that filled him. He concentrated on what he wanted. He wanted to find Dan and help him. He pictured Dan in his mind’s eye. Dan lying on the dead autumn grass, passed out. People gathering around Dan, worried. Someone feeling Dan’s pulse and calling 999. Phil thought about Dan in general. Dan reading in bed. Dan gripping an xBox controller in his hands. Dan speaking into a camera in his “video” voice. Dan hugging Phil. Dan looking at Phil fondly, love filling his eyes. Dan giving Phil the world. Selfless, beautiful, loving Dan. A spike of raw power coursed through Phil and his vision exploded in a sheet of overwhelming white for the second time that day.

Phil pictured his tether, even though he knew it was something that didn’t exist in this physical reality. Still, he imagined a rope. It was black and embedded deep in Phil’s ghostly skin. Phil imagined pulling at it. He could feel the pull; it wasn’t just in his head. Phil concentrated every ounce of energy pulsing inside him, on this single desire.

Eventually, he stopped thinking about the rope or Dan laying in the park. His thoughts just became a litany of “Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan. Please, don’t take Dan from me. Don’t let Dan die because of me. Don’t let Dan miss out on his life because he tried to share it with me. Dan, Dan, please. Please.”

There was a shift. Phil could feel it in the air. He felt a tug, a realignment. A break. Something clicking into place.

Phil blinked and looked around. White cleared slowly from his vision. He was in his familiar ghostly body, despite the fact that he hadn’t purposefully manifested himself. He recognized trees and grass and, he looked down on the ground, Dan! Phil didn’t spare a single second wondering what the fuck had just happened. He dove down and pressed his fingers to Dan’s pulsepoint. Phil was frozen in place, trying to sense Dan’s heartbeat. And, then, yes, he could feel the echo of a weak thump in his ghostly body. Dan was lukewarm, rather than his usual scorching. Phil had stolen the life out of Dan’s body. His face was a sickly grey and his eyes were shut gently.

“Fuck, Dan. Can you hear me?” Phil gripped either side of Dan’s face. He lifted one of Dan’s eyelids. His eyes were rolled back into his head and Phil gasped. Dan’s chest was slowly rising and falling. He had no idea if Dan was even in there, but his physical body was still alive. That was enough for now.

Phil didn’t waste time. He barely even registered that the park was deathly quiet and there wasn’t a single soul around them. He tried to ignore the fact that, by touching Dan, he was just making him colder. Sucking out what little life Dan still clung to. But Phil had to get Dan back to the flat. He slipped his arms underneath Dan’s neck and the back of his knees. Phil closed his eyes and concentrated on the flat. He pictured Dan’s bedroom. White walls, fairy lights, black and white duvet. Where they first met. Where they first touched. Where they first confessed their love for each other. Phil could transport himself, of course, but he had no idea about if it would work while holding Dan. All Phil could do was hope and concentrate, focusing his remaining and quickly draining energy on what he needed to do in order to save Dan.

Phil didn’t know if he believed in a higher power. Or magic. Or the supernatural. He didn’t know what governed his life or his afterlife. But whatever it was, he prayed to it now: please, please, please, please.

Part six

[jilliancares]

Cat and Mouse: Chapter 6

Word Count: 3.1k

TW: head injury/almost drowning

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CHAPTER SIX: 

TWELVE YEARS EARLIER:

"You're the bad guy," Phil instructed, pulling a fuzzy brown blanket around his shoulders like a cape. Dan frowned.

"I don't want to be the bad guy," he protested, and Phil huffed in exasperation. "You can be the good guy next round," he promised. "No." "Dan, come on," Phil pleaded, but Dan shook his head.

"I don't want to be the bad guy," he repeated seriously. Rolling his eyes, Phil ripped off the cape and tossed it to Dan. "Fine," he said. "But you can't be the good guy forever." — Dan lay curled in a ball, unable to sleep. He’d been having trouble with it a lot recently—ever since the science fair. It’d been months, and still what he’d done haunted him, seeping into his thoughts and dreams and poisoning them. He knew what he’d done wasn’t right, but... Well, Phil had looked so happy. How could that be wrong? He clenched his eyes shut, fisting his hand in his comforter and trying to forget. He'd heard Phil's name, heard that he'd gotten second place, and seen his expression. His smile had been fake, his eyes belying his disappointment. And that was all it'd taken before Dan was slipping away, squeezing through the crowd of people. He'd gone right up to the judges by the edge of the stage, all watching the proceedings with interest. Still no one had noticed him, as he was short and skinny and hardly a threat, hardly worth noticing. "The invention is a marvelous piece of technology, developed by a young man of only twelve..." the judge was blathering on. Dan, his mouth turned down in determination, had marched forward and tapped one of the judges firmly on the shoulder. He spun. "Yes? What is it young man?" "You've made a mistake," Dan informed him. "Phil Lester came in first place, not second." The man took on a look of confusion, for a moment, before twisting his neck to look at the stage. "By God, we have..." he muttered. "Oh dear, this will be most embarrassing..." "It'll be okay," Dan reassured. "Just go and tell that man of the mistake." With that, the judge had crossed the stage and whispered into the presenter’s ear, while Dan quickly maneuvered back through the crowd to Phil's side. It hadn’t taken long for the guilt to set in, and he'd felt sick to his stomach the whole night afterwards. I won't do it again, Dan, now, thought viciously. That was a one time thing and I won't do it again. In the few months since the science fair, Dan had just wanted to lock himself in his room and despair over his actions while Phil had been filled with delight and wanted to be in Dan's company more than ever. This led to a few stupid fights and disagreements, which always ended up with Dan ignoring Phil’s presence entirely for a few days on end. Sometimes he’d do this even without Phil having done anything to annoy him, because he would remember that it was entirely Phil’s fault that he’d gone and used his power at the science fair in the first place. If Phil hadn’t been so determined to be his friend, so persistent and annoying, Dan never would’ve become so attached to him. He wouldn’t have felt his heart clench at the sight of Phil’s disappointment when second place had been called, and he wouldn’t have shoved his morals into the backseat in order to make his crush smile. Dan was an idiot. Usually his bouts of ignoring Phil ended when Phil’s determination outgrew his patience. Phil would continually pester him and follow him and do whatever it took to get his attention, even making it so Dan couldn’t walk home by using the magnetic laser pointer on him (this had actually not worked well to resolve Dan’s anger and had led to Dan ignoring Phil for an entire week longer, glaring at the other boy whenever he happened to make eye contact). Still, Dan was always relieved when these periods of time came to an end, as was Phil. It would end without an apology of any sort, instead just with Dan mentioning something in passing to Phil, who would cling to his words like a lifeline. Usually, Dan ended up getting hugged at the end of it all too, which he didn’t mind one bit. Worse than all of it, Dan was sure, was his crush on Phil. It seemed to be growing without abandon, to the point where his heart always felt full to bursting when he thought of Phil. He found himself wishing he could call Phil his boyfriend, could hold his hand and kiss his cheek and maybe, one day, his lips. He was pretty sure Phil had absolutely no idea of his feelings for him, as he continued on with their friendship as obliviously as ever. Thinking of Phil was nice, of course, but it wasn’t helping him fall asleep. Instead his heart was pounding and his lips were curling into a smile as he fantasized about the other boy. He imagined Phil riding up to his house atop a white horse (despite the fact that he was afraid of them) and demanding for Dan to join him. “But why?” Dan would ask. “Because I’m madly in love with you,” Phil would answer. And then his horse would gallop into the sky, pulling up next to Dan’s window, and he’d pull Dan onto it and they’d ride it to the moon. Dan gasped, suddenly jerking awake. It was that kind of feeling where you weren’t even sure if you’d managed to sleep in the first place, though the clock across the room assured Dan he had. He groaned internally, wondering how long it would take him to fall back asleep now. It’d already taken long enough the first time. Breathing out heavily, Dan flipped over onto his other side. Sleep seemed like a distant thing once again, and he didn't know what he would accomplish by clenching his eyes shut and hoping it would take him, though he did so anyway. He jolted when he heard a sudden thunk, quickly sitting up and looking around his room. It didn't seem as if anything had fallen off his shelves, and there weren’t any murderers standing over him with a knife, but he still managed to feel uneasy. Dan began to settle back down when he heard it again, this time a tink. And then, in rapid succession, two, three, four of those noises followed, and Dan was now looking out his window, wondering if it could possibly be...? A smattering of pebbles exploded against the glass, and Dan stared incredulously out of it. He undid the latch and threw it open, leaning out to see Phil standing on his front lawn. "Phil?!" he said, and Phil grinned at him. "Let's go on an adventure!" "It's like, the middle of the night!" Dan hissed. "My parents’ll wake up when I open the front door." "Then climb out the window," Phil persuaded. "Are you crazy? I'll die!" "I'll float you down," Phil promised, and before Dan could protest, he was pointing the magnetic laser at Dan, who immediately started to float out the window. He soon found himself standing barefoot on the dew-damp grass, shivering in his boxers and t-shirt. "You're mental!" he cried. "Shh," Phil instructed. "You'll wake your parents." He must've noticed Dan’s shivering, and, perhaps feeling guilty for kidnapping him in the middle of the night, he shrugged off his jacket and handed it to Dan. He tried not to blush as he pulled on the soft, warm material—warm from Phil's body. They rarely shared clothes, and Dan was already trying to devise a plan to make Phil let him keep it. "Where are we going?" Dan asked, as Phil grabbed his hand and led him to the sidewalk, which was cold under Dan's feet. It was a new moon, and Dan could barely see a thing, the only light coming from the twinkling stars above and the dim lamps above the doors of the surrounding houses. He squinted in the dark, trying to make out Phil properly. It would be a lot easier if he were a cat, or something—they practically had night vision. “It’s a surprise,” Phil said seriously, and Dan groaned. “I’ve never snuck out of my house before,” he conveyed. Phil nodded importantly. “Of course not, you’re only ten.” Dan spluttered indignantly. “You’re only twelve!” “True,” Phil conceded, “but that’s two more years I’ve had to be sneaking out of my house.” They continued down Dan’s street and through his neighborhood, taking random turns until they came to a creek, trickling quietly in the silence of the night. Crickets were chirping in the grass, and Dan swallowed his protests as Phil directed them down the thin, overgrown gravel path that led to the water. There were rocks in it, just large enough and far enough apart from each other for some determined kid to jump from one to the next—with only a major possibility of falling in. Dan cringed as the tall grass around them brushed against his ankles. “I think maybe you weren’t thinking about ticks when you took me out here,” Dan said primly. “Not to forget mosquitos—both of which suck your blood. Speaking of, what if there are vampires out here? Or werewolves?” “It’s not a full moon,” Phil answered. “What about all the other good points I brought up?” “If you get bit by a tick I’ll pull it out myself,” Phil promised. He paused at the water’s edge, gazing down into it. Despite all of Dan’s complaining, he felt rather special that Phil had decided to pull him from his bed at night, simply to have his company. What other kid could say that their best friend liked to be with them so much that they’d snuck out in the middle of the night to be together? And more than that—it was his crush that’d done it. Dan still tried to ignore it, but every time Phil touched his hand, or tugged on his arm, he felt jittery all over and found it hard to breathe. Still, he didn’t know if he would ever do anything about that. There were always the mean kids at school who used gay as an insult, and Dan didn’t know if he’d ever be comfortable with anyone knowing that about him. Besides what if Phil thought the same thing all the others did? Not that Dan really thought Phil might… he was definitely as smart as Dan, both of them way smarter than everyone else in their grade. Surely the smartest thing to do was be accepting of all people, regardless of their differences? But fear didn’t respond to logic. Dan could barely think about the word in proximity to himself, much less dare to utter it aloud. Surely, one day, he would tell his parents. And maybe Phil, but… well, not today. Not anytime soon. “What are we doing out here, Phil?” Dan asked, and Phil reached out for his hand again. Dan felt the heat rise rapidly to his cheeks, but he held Phil’s hand firmly in his own as Phil leaned a little bit further over the water, examining it thoroughly. He finally took a step back, turning to face Dan. “Well, I’m partly testing a hypothesis,” he said, and Dan cocked his head. “What hypothesis?” Normally Phil would tell him things he was experimenting on—it was rare for Dan to be left out of the loop. “I’ll tell you later,” Phil said. He was examining Dan’s face pretty thoroughly, almost as intently as he’d been observing the water. They were still holding hands. “But I’m pretty sure I’m right. Mainly, though, we’re here because I made you something.” “What’d you—?” “You’ll see.” He took a deep breath, before opening his mouth as if to tell Dan something. Apparently, he lost his nerve as he turned back to the water, his hands shoved into the pockets of his pajama pants. He couldn’t have been comfortable—it was cold out, and Dan was wearing his jacket. “Dan,” he said quietly. “I have to tell you something.” “You can tell me anything,” Dan said reassuringly. “If you want to,” he hastily added. Some small, desperate part of him was hoping—wishing, really—that Phil was going to say he was gay, just like Dan. That part of him was crushed. “I’m moving,” said Phil. For a moment, Dan didn’t dare to process it. And then the world came crashing down. The stars plummeted to the earth and the trees tilted, their roots wrenching from the ground. The water before them exploded into the air, joining the falling stars, all whipping around them in a whirlwind of noise. Dan blinked. The trees were still, his clothes dry, the stars stationary in the sky. “What?” he croaked. “I’m sorry Dan,” Phil whispered. You can’t! Dan thought desperately, managing to stumble forward a step, trying to get closer to his best friend. Phil couldn’t move! Dan’s whole life would be ruined, he just knew it! He hadn’t had any friends before Phil, and though he’d thought that was fine, thought he was fine, he’d been completely wrong. There was nothing like having a friend, someone you could talk to and confide in and play with. If Phil left, Dan just might never talk again. He wouldn’t have anyone to talk to. “No,” he finally managed to croak. “I don’t want to,” Phil quickly assured. Dan had stopped, after that first, lurching step. He still stood too far from Phil, his heart pounding viciously, aching inside his chest. He didn’t know what he wanted. Part of him longed to submerge himself in Phil’s arms and another part wanted him to run back home, to cry under his covers in the safety of his own bed. Phil decided for him. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Dan, who bit his cheek fiercely, determined to not cry. He didn’t want to appear like a baby, like a dumb kid who couldn’t even handle not having a friend around. He didn’t want Phil to think he was weak. Still, he allowed himself to be hugged, at least for a few seconds. Ten, perhaps. When a whole minute had gone by, Dan managed to take a shaky breath and pull out of Phil’s arms, his eyes thankfully still dry. “I should just tell your parents not to move,” he said mutinously, and Phil laughed, not understanding the weight of his words. “I’m sure that would work,” he said with a grin, though it was shaky. He was clearly just as upset about this as Dan was. He sighed. “I’ve already tried that.” “It’d be different if I did it,” Dan assured him, but Phil just shook his head. “It won’t. They won’t change their minds.” Phil was wrong. Dan could make them change their minds. He could make them do anything. But… He swallowed thickly. The last time he’d done it, had used his power, he’d felt guilty and upset over it for days, and it still crept back into his thoughts to torment him. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like, forcing Phil’s entire family to stay here. Was that the kind of guilt he could live through? “You said you made me something,” Dan suddenly remembered, and Phil’s face lit up. “I did! And, well, I’m not moving just yet, we’re waiting until summer, but, well—just in case.” Phil thrust out an object that looked similar to a pen. “What is it?” “A teleporter.” “What?” “Well, I’m pretty sure,” Phil then said, looking abashed. “Either it’ll teleport you to me, or it’ll do nothing. But I’m pretty sure it’ll work.” “If you’re serious then you might just be the smartest person alive,” Dan conveyed earnestly, all thoughts of Phil moving having been shoved to the back of his mind. Or at least the side. “Not really,” Phil shrugged. “I’m positive teleportation devices have already been perfected, it’s just being kept from the public. Plus, real scientists’ ones will work better than mine—this thing’ll only work once, so you have to save it for an emergency.” He held up his own device as he spoke, and Dan eyed it reverently. Dan frowned, disappointed with the restrictions the device came with. He’d been hoping to use it frequently, to pop into existence by Phil’s side whenever he was feeling a bit lonely. “I guess I’ll save it then,” he promised, and Phil grinned. “Why are you moving, anyway?” Dan asked, subdued. Phil turned away from him, jumping onto the first rock in the creek. “My dad lost his job,” he answered, and jumped again. “Mum says there’ll be better job opportunities in London.” Dan could hear the resentment in his voice. “Maybe I’ll just kidnap you instead,” Dan proposed. He followed Phil, leaping from the bank to the rock, skidding slightly over the wet and muddy surface. “If I hide you away your parents will be forced to leave without you.” “Dan Howell,” Phil said seriously, and leaped further into the creek. It was funny, how the creek seemed smaller from the side. Now that Dan was practically in the middle of it, it seemed quite large. “I knew there was a reason you skipped two grades.” Dan laughed, and jumped again, his arms out for balance. As he landed on the rock, his left foot splashed into the freezing water. Dan tried to yank it out, but the mud was like glue, and he ended up losing his balance and rocking backwards. Arms swinging wildly like a windmill, Dan only had the chance to let out a small yelp before he was tumbling backwards. He cried out when his head hit something hard, but his mouth was instantly filled with water, tasting muddy and disgusting. He tried to spit it out, but more filled its place, and he was choking… Phil shouted something, and Dan was struggling upward, the creek’s trickling current not-so-trickling once he was submerged in it, with his head pounding fiercely and his vision flickering. Suddenly, and coughing furiously, he was pulled from the water, Phil dragging the both of them, soaking wet, to the side of the creek. Dan lay there shivering, barely conscious, completely unaware when Phil left his side to run to the nearest house and call the police. He swam back into consciousness with the blaring sound of an ambulance and its flashing lights, and then he was being lifted and carried. Where’s Phil? He thought desperately. He felt the weight of Phil’s teleportation device in his pocket, and was filled with a sudden relief. He couldn’t help feeling glad he hadn’t been stupid enough to use it back there—God knew there was going to be a real emergency for it one day.

~~

next chapter

[obsessive-fics]

Title: Something Entirely New

Rating: G

Word Count: 1865

Summary: Phil, a prince whose overprotective parents keep him locked in the castle, longs for adventure. He finally gets a chance when news of a sleeping princess reaches their kingdom. He sets off with his knight and best friend Dan to rescue her. True love saves the day, of course, but not in the way you might think

[Read on Ao3] 

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a king and queen. The king and queen had two sons that they loved more than anything- so much so that they kept them in the castle at all times lest they fall victims to the dangers of the outside world. The youngest prince, Phil longed for adventure, but every time he tried to get out of the castle, he was caught by one of the servants and sent back inside. And then one day, the prince finally got his chance. A princess in a neighboring kingdom had been put under a sleeping spell and needed to be rescued. This was his chance! It took a lot of convincing, but the king and queen agreed to let him go on this quest, on one condition- he had to let one of their knights accompany him.

Phil had to resist jumping for joy- he’d been best friends with the youngest knight, Dan, since before he could walk. He didn’t mention this to his parents though, just agreed to choose a knight and ran to find Dan. He finally found him in the garden sparring with another knight.

“Dan!” he called excitedly, causing Dan to lose focus and be bested by the other knight. He groaned, sitting up, and gave Phil his ‘It’s been over sixteen years how do you still not know not to interrupt training?’ look. Phil just waved guiltily and waited for him to walk over.

“What happened?” Dan asked in lieu of a greeting.

“I have the best news ever- well, actually I have kind of bad news that leads to the best news ever,” Phil replied bouncing on his heels. Dan nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“A princess in a neighboring kingdom has been put under a spell, and I’ve volunteered to go rescue her!”

“So you can finally get off castle grounds. Congratulations- I still don’t see what this has to do with me,” Dan pointed out, taking a sip of his water.

“That’s the best part! I have to take a knight with me, and since you’re obviously the best knight there is, I’ve chosen you,” Phil explained finally, barely able to contain his excitement. Dan broke out into a slow, shocked smile.

“You really want me to come with you?”

“Of course I do. You’re my best friend.”

“Who would I be to argue with that? We’ll leave first thing in the morning.”

The next day, Dan and Phil set out into the forest to reach the neighboring kingdom. Phil tried to focus on the mission at hand, but there was so much he’d yet to see, so much he wanted to explore. He kept making Dan stop and explain what certain animals were or what plants were poisonous.

“If we keep up this pace, we should be able to make it by sundown tomorrow,” Dan was saying, but Phil wasn’t paying much attention. He was busy admiring the way the sun peeked out from behind the trees when he tripped and lost his balance. He barely had time to react when he felt something catch him. He looked up to see Dan staring down at him, his big brown eyes filled with concern. Had they ever been this close before? Phil felt like that was something he probably would have remembered.  

“Sorry about that,” Phil eventually said, catching his breath.

“It’s… It’s fine. Just be careful okay? The last thing I need is you falling into quicksand because you saw a chipmunk,” Dan told him with a soft smile, and he realized they were still standing with their arms wrapped around each other.

“We should, um, keep moving,” Phil pointed out, but it was a minute before either of them moved.

They walked in silence for a while, neither of them quite sure what had just occurred between them. Part of Phil wanted to forget the princess altogether and stay here in the forest forever. It was such a new and exciting feeling, having all of this freedom. Being able to go wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted- with Dan’s say so, of course- he probably would’ve been eaten by a bear by now if it weren’t for his knight protecting him.

“We can set up camp here for the night,” Dan announced, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“Oh! Okay, sure,” Phil agreed absentmindedly.

“You alright? You’ve been uncharacteristically quiet,” Dan pointed out, sounding worried.

“It’s just… I’ve never had this much freedom before. And once the princess is saved, I’ll just be sent back to the castle- My brother will be able to do whatever he wants once he’s king, but me? I’ll be stuck in Pera forever,” Phil lamented. Dan didn’t say anything for a moment, just focused on starting the fire.

“What do you want to do?” he asked finally, sitting down next to him.

“I want to travel! I want to go on adventures, and tame dragons, and spend more nights like this,” Phil explained, gesturing towards the starry sky above them.

“Your parents are gonna kill me for saying this, but you could do that, you know,” Dan said thoughtfully.

“How? They almost never let me leave the castle,” Phil pointed out.

“Well, once you’ve rescued the princess, you’ll probably be expected to marry her, and then you can stay in that kingdom. Then you’d be free to go wherever you want,” Dan suggested shrugging.

“I couldn’t do that- I’d miss home too much. My parents, Martyn… You.”

“You’d miss me?” Dan asked, sounding shocked.

“Of course I would- wouldn’t you miss me if I was off in another kingdom forever?” Phil wondered- for some reason the thought of Dan not missing him hurt more than he thought it would.

“Yeah, I think I would. Come on, let’s get some sleep. We can figure out what to do in the morning.” Phil nodded, and the two set up camp for the night.

They reached the neighboring kingdom early the next afternoon and found it completely devoid of life. There were no people in the square, or in any of the shops, and all of the plants were overgrown. Phil was wondering if the kingdom had just been deserted when a fairy appeared in front of them.

“A prince! Finally,” she cried, flapping her wings excitedly.

“I heard about the princess, and I am here to help,” he announced in his best “princely” voice. From the sound of Dan snickering beside him, he guessed it hadn’t been very convincing.  

“Yes, Princess Olympia has been asleep for months. I’ve put the rest of the kingdom to sleep to keep everyone from worrying, but my magic won’t last much longer,” the fairy explained.

“Lucky we got here when we did then. Lead the way,” Phil requested cordially.

“Of course! I’m Lola, by the way, I’m Olympia’s fairy- I’ve been her fairy since we were toddlers. It’s my job to protect her…” Lola trailed off, looking down sadly.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m sure Olympia knows you did the best you could. I’m Phil, and this is Dan- he protects me the way you protect Olympia,” he told her, gesturing at Dan proudly.

“Well you’re clearly doing a better job than I am,” Lola sniffed as they reached the castle gates.

“Nah, he’s just really easy to protect. I mostly make sure he doesn’t trip over himself and fall out a window,” Dan replied with a shrug. Lola looked slightly confused, but shrugged and continued to lead them to the princess’s chambers.

They were careful to step over all the servants and nobles asleep in various rooms of the castle until they reached the highest tower where Olympia lay, unconscious. She was beautiful, even asleep, with dark, curly hair, and full lips.

“The princess must be awoken by true love’s kiss,” Lola told him, pushing him forward.

“Wait, what?” Phil asked, stopping.

“Don’t you know how this works? You came to rescue her, proving your love, and now you kiss her,” Lola instructed impatiently.  

“But I’ve literally never met her, I don’t love her. Your true love should be your best friend, someone you can’t ever imagine your life without. Someone you want with you always, that knows you better than you know yourself. I’m sorry, Lola, but I can’t do this,” Phil said, backing away from the bed.

“What do you mean? You’re a prince, she’s a princess, that’s how this works- you don’t understand, I miss her so much, I need her back,” Lola cried desperately.

“That’s it! You kiss her,” Phil exclaimed, noticing the way Lola had spoken about the princess- she was definitely in love.

“What? But I’m just her fairy, there’s no way…” Lola trailed off, shaking her head.

“All the spell says is true love’s kiss, right?” Dan asked, walking over from where he’d been observing them in the corner.

“Well, yes,” Lola replied hesitantly.

“And you obviously love Olympia very much."

“Of course I do, but-” Lola started to say, but Phil cut her off.

“Then that’s all that matters. Go on, trust us,” he urged, giving her an encouraging smile. Lola, hesitant, but determined, made her way to where Olympia lay.

“I would do anything for you,” she whispered, before giving the princess a soft kiss.

“Lola?” Olympia asked, blinking awake.

“Princess! You’re awake! I don’t understand, how…?” Lola asked

“True love’s kiss. It’s the most powerful magic in the world

“But I thought… You’d never…”

“I’ve always loved you, Lola, you’re my best friend. And now you’ve broken the curse!” Olympia told her, wrapping her arms around the confused fairy. Lola laughed, hugging her back.

“I love you too.”

“Well, we should be going then,” Phil said, feeling bad for running the wonderful moment.

“Oh! Right- Olympia, this is the prince that helped me save you,” Lola explained, though the two still hadn’t broken apart.

“Thank you so much! Don’t you want to stay to get your reward?” Olympia asked, confused.

“I don’t need an award. I’m just glad I could help,” he answered, shifting awkwardly.

“If you’re sure. At least take some food for your journey back,” Olympia offered.

“We will. Thank you.” With that, Dan and Phil made their way to the kitchens to fill up on food and then started the journey home.

“Did you mean what you said earlier? The… true love thing?” Dan asked as they walked.

“Of course I did- and I was right, can you believe it? Lola and Olympia are going to be-” Phil was cut off by the sudden, amazing, feeling of Dan’s lips on his.

“Oh,”

“Oh?” Dan asked, sounding worried.

“I can’t believe we didn’t realize this before. Do you know how many years we wasted? I could’ve been kissing you this entire time!’ Dan just buried his face in his neck and laughed.

“You’re ridiculous. What do we do now?” he asked.

“I think my parents will be okay without me for a little while longer. Let’s go on an adventure,” Phil suggested, linking their hands together.

“I thought you’d never ask. There’s a dragon tamer I’ve always wanted to introduce you to.”

“Sounds perfect.”