#Los Panda | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moony-2001 · 11 months

Text

How I would’ve constructed the 10 year time skip

✨Brought to you by my deep loathing for Lore Olympus✨

•warnings: super long post (I’m not joking), death, kidnapping, violence•

What The Fuck Happened

There was so much potential for the punishment arc. We could’ve seen a lot of character development, fleshed out storylines, reconciliation between certain people. We could’ve seen both Hades and Persephone going to therapy instead of claiming that one therapy session has fixed all their problems and then never going again.

Instead we got horny Persephone, pretty much no clue about what happened to Demeter OR Persephone during that time, and an easy plot device (sorry Cerberus) for Persephone to be like “I’m a big girl now harrumph harrumph, time for me to go reunite with my crusty ass bf who I’ve only know for a month”.

I hate the way she reunited with Ares. Ares is just a bonafide creep throughout the whole comic (although I liked when he attacked Zeus lol). I guess what I mostly hate about Ares and Persephone’s interaction is, yet again, it’s another example of every guy in the comic going AWOOGA over Persephone. Also Athena’s design is so fugly. I guess Rachel is completely incapable of drawing masculine presenting women as actual women.

The whole Kronos plot line is stupid. I hate it so much. Imo the whole “the titans are trying to escape so they can rule Olympus again” is overdone and not particularly done well. The fight between Kronos and Persephone is lame as shit. Like what, she gets big for all of 20 minutes, burps out a bunch of bees (which aren’t even aggressive creatures), and then does her version of the Wuxi Finger Hold from Kung Fu Panda and has Tartarus spirit Kronos away, magically fixing all of their problems (except it doesn’t and nothing is actually fixed).

Also I might get a lot of flack for this, but I don’t think the addition of Morpheus’ character was necessary. I like Morpheus. I think she’s cute. But she’s a) slowly turning into another version of Hecate and b) not really vital to the narrative imo. We already have so many other characters and plot lines that take away from the central “romance” the story is SUPPOSED to be focused on. I just don’t think we need ANOTHER character whose arc is probably not going to go anywhere.

So yeah, overall very L writing, L plot, and L characters.

What I would do differently

The first thing I would change is that the whole punishment arc would be an entire season unto itself. You’ll see why it has to be a separate season.

The second thing is (and this literally pains me to say) in order for me to rewrite this portion of LO without rewriting the entire comic, I kinda sorta have to throw the entire timeline of Greece out the window. If I try to follow a timeline based on the history of Greece, the entire timeline of LO has to shift massively. I’m already getting a migraine trying to think about how I could possibly make it work.

I do know this: Instead of 10 years I’d do somewhere between 1,000-3,000 years. 10 years is a joke. When you’re a god, 10 years is a trip to the time out corner

For now, let’s just say (assuming LO takes place in the Ancient Greece era) and Ancient Greece spanned ~1500 years, Persephone’s punishment would’ve needed to have been established near the very end of the collapse of the Late Bronze Age, spanned the entirety of Ancient Greece as we know it today, and ended some time in the very early Byzantine era. So like what, 1500-2000 years? Fine. I can work with this.

The Famine

You know how the first 400 years of Ancient Greece was deemed the “Dark Ages” and it was a time of war, famine, and loss? I want to start the punishment there. It would make sense for what we know about the characters thus far:

Demeter has had complete control over the growth of the flora and fauna on earth. She’s the goddess of the harvest after all. But we also find out that while Persephone has been in Olympus, Demeter has also been carrying out her duties as the goddess of spring. Plus Demeter has been around for forever and a day. She knows what she’s doing

Persephone doesn’t (at this point in the comic) really have control over her powers. Even in her fits of rage, she ends up doing more harm than good (i.e. her act of wrath, turning Minthe into a plant, etc.). In comparison with everyone around her, she is a literal infant. I mean shit, she’s only been alive for 20 years compared to the fact that everyone else has most likely been around for a minimum of 500 years.

If Demeter is stripped of her status as a goddess (and thus her powers) it would make sense that there would be a lot of death and famine and war over territory/food. Persephone would be left with nothing: no guidebook, no how-to. Of course a lot of people would die while she’s trying to figure her shit out. It could also be a very interesting tactic for psychological warfare on Zeus’ part. Zeus KNOWS Persephone doesn’t know what she’s doing. He knows people will die. And he knows that since life is precious to Persephone (or at least that’s what she claims), it would punish her further.

We can see episodes of Persephone struggling to provide for humanity. We could have real world examples of the affect of famine and depopulation. We would see her struggling with her powers, her mental health. We could get an episode that explains how her hands got destroyed from trying to mimic her mother’s powers. We can see what the fuck happened to Demeter in Attica.

Now obviously things will eventually go on the up and up for Persephone and her compatriots. The whole 1500-2000 years isn’t just going to be one big clusterfuck. As time progresses and chapters pass, we could see real character growth for Persephone not just mentally, but in almost every aspect. Since she will have been alive at that point for over 1000 years, the readers would be able to see her newfound maturity. We could also see her build strong female support systems and strengthen her friendships, something we NEVER saw in the OG comic (or at least they never happened without Hades somehow being involved). You get the point.

What’s Old Man Hades up to?

I have big plans for Hades and none of them involve him going into a 1000+ year coma or getting possessed by his creepy-ass dad. He is an asshole though. I kinda wanted to portray him in this the way he is in the original myths (which for those who don’t know or haven’t read it, it’s not good).

So in Greek mythology, Hades actually had a wife before he even met Persephone or Minthe. Can you take a wild guess as to who?

Bingo! It’s Leuce. Contrary to popular belief, Leuce is actually NOT a home-wrecking POC version of Persephone (don’t @ me we all know the nymphs represent the lower class and POC). In mythology, Leuce was Hades’ first wife/lover and she died sometime long ago and I believe was turned into a white poplar tree. No she is not a cousin of Thetis and Amphitrite. She is not even remotely related to them. And Thetis and Amphitrite are sisters, not cousins. Do your fucking research Rachel.

Unfortunately, Greek Mythology doesn’t really mention all that much about Leuce outside of the fact that she was a daughter of Oceanus, she was kidnapped by Hades, and when she died (for unspecified reasons) she turned into a tree. Which means I’m going to be taking a lot of creative liberties for this portion of the post. Sorry to all you diehard fans of Greek myths out there. I shall try to do her justice.

In my head-cannon Hades and Leuce had been in an arranged marriage for thousands of years. Leuce was offered by Oceanus as a peace offering after the War and Hades, not really having any other viable options for a wife, agreed to take her to the underworld (much to her dismay). Over time, they grew to have a mutually loving/caring relationship. Unlike LO Persephone, Leuce was a good queen and she worked hard to make sure the denizens of the underworld respected her and that they were well cared for. Unfortunately, they got divorced because Hades starting having an affair with Minthe. Even though she loved her kingdom and the people of the underworld, she divorced Hades because she couldn’t stand to be around him, which, y’know. Fair.

A few notes: in my head-cannon, Leuce is still around leading up the the trial and punishment. Her portrait would still be up, we would see signs that Hades and Leuce still interact (more in terms of business, not romance), etc.

Also, unlike Persephone, Leuce would not take her anger out on Minthe or turn her into a plant or destroy her apartment. She would simply wish her good luck. She would be mad at Hades for cheating and for taking advantage of Minthe while she’s at her lowest. But I’m going to be straight up: even though Leuce is meant to be the better Persephone, she still has her flaws. She’s not going to feel inclined to help Minthe in any way. Would you want to help out the person who your partner is cheating on you with? The answer is no and if you say yes, you’re lying.

Anyways, during the Punishment, Hades and Leuce reconnect and Hades finds out Leuce is dying. He tries to convince her to leave the underworld and return to her father, but she insists that she is going to stay, even if it means she dies away from everyone she loved. She won’t abandon her kingdom, her people, or her ex-husband (although that’s much better than he deserves). They move in together and Hades begins to take care of her, even as she begins to deteriorate. They also begin to rekindle their past relationship and (with the help of a therapist) work through some of their past problems together.

Note: their relationship rekindles a couple hundred years into the punishment so by the time the punishment ends, they’ve been back together for a minimum of 1200 years

The aftermath and the Rape of Persephone

Before any of you go gaga over me for the title used above, the original title used for the myth is The Rape of Persephone (or if you want to be really original, The Rape of Proserpina). In the context of the title, the term “rape” means to be taken/kidnapped rather than having sexual violence inflicted upon you. Rape stemmed from the traditional Latin word “raptus” which means “to be seized” or “carried off”. Okay? Okay.

So after the Punishment ends and Persephone feels like she has thoroughly improved herself, she goes to find Hades and talk with him about their relationship. Mainly that she feels they rushed into it, and even though she does like him she wants to take things really slow (kind of like how she wanted before getting married 3 episodes later).

Upon arriving to the underworld/Hades house, her worst fears are realized: not only has Hades (seemingly) moved on, he has found someone else. Or rather, he got back together with his ex-wife.

Persephone freaks out (“who is she?”/“I’m his wife!”)

Persephone, throughly upset for getting her hopes up, flees back to mortal realm. Hades goes to leave Leuce, but not before she tells him that if he leaves her for Persephone, she will never forgive him. Hades leaves anyways, much to the absolute despair of Leuce, who is left wailing as he runs off.

Persephone returns home and finds Demeter and they hug. Demeter is initially horrified to see what happened to her hands, but is proud of the work she did during the punishment. Persephone cries to her mother about Hades, and Demeter tries to comfort her but it inadvertently comes off more as “I told you so” rather than “I’m sorry you had to experience that” (although Demeter is sorry that Persephone’s heart is broken). Persephone, already feeling incredibly emotionally distressed, lashes out at Demeter and they start to argue. This is when Hades arrives.

Hades sees Demeter and Persephone arguing and inserts himself into the situation. Persephone becomes more upset after seeing him and Hades (assuming that Persephone is upset about the fact that Demeter is getting in the way of their “relationship” and not the fact that Persephone discovered Hades went back to his ex-wife after saying he loved her) whips out the the “one personal question, no exceptions” card and proposes to Persephone. He insists that he loves her and only her and that they should spend the rest of their immortal lives together.

Persephone says no.

Hades, not taking no for an answer and not wanting to leave the mortal realm empty handed, kidnaps Persephone, much to the dismay of Demeter, Artemis, and the nymphs. Hades returns with a traumatized Persephone to the underworld to find that Leuce has died and turned into a white poplar tree. While Persephone is sobbing on the floor, Hades weaves a mock crown from the branches and leaves of the tree, places it upon Persephone’s head, and tells her she better get used to their life together.

Thus ends the season and the punishment arc.

Afterthoughts

Thank you for sitting through my ramblings. I officially joined the anti-LO community about the time the trial happened and had been wanting to make a post like this for a reaaaaally long time. Besides the fact that the trial in of itself was completely unethical (@genericpuff made a whole post about that) the punishment arc just really pissed me off. Like go girl, give us nothing!

Anyways, I may or may not do a whole timeline reconstruction of LO depending on how much I feel like offing my sanity with the amount of research that would have to go into that. Until then, I hope you like this post and look out for other anti LO posts coming your way :)

#lore olympus #anti lo persephone #anti lore olympus #unpopular lo #unpopular lore olympus #kung fu panda #anti lo #lo criticism #lo critical #long read #lore olympus criticism #lo critic

83 notes · View notes

vlp-wrtng-prctcs · 1 year

Text

Random Perryshmirtz #1

Me preocuparé mañana por editar los pies de fotos de las conversaciones a inglés si llega a ser necesario, pero es que si no saco esta idea, explotaré.

No sabría explicar el contexto sin reírme, podríamos considerar que esto es más un trashfic con un tono serio, así que dejemos abierta a la interpretación quiénes fueron mis inspiraciones (spoiler: fueron personas talentosas).

Probablemente esto tenga una continuación, porque continuar los proyectos 100% serios no es una opción inmediata (aunque estoy en ello).

La sombra del árbol se posicionó sobre la hamaca en la cual yace recostado, observando en silencio a los niños quienes parecen haberse embarcado en una pequeña invención para desestresarse del aburrimiento que conllevan los deberes escolares; para tranquilidad de sobrina, el invento no presentaba mayores riesgos y, en realidad, parecía beneficiarlos a todos. El día no podría mejorar más.

Una suave vibración sacude sus pensamientos, notando que en su número personal yace una notificación de un mensaje sin leer. Perry ni siquiera tenía que esforzarse en adivinar de quien se trataba a esas alturas de su vida.

«Perry el ornitorrinco»

«¿Recuerdas esa vez que me secuestraron?»

Su rostro se frunció por un instante, cuestionando si esa era una forma bastante sutil de anunciarle que nuevamente había pasado. Por lo que ahora, absorto por la curiosidad, decide contestar de forma más inmediata que anteriores ocasiones.

«¿Cuál de todas las veces que lo han hecho?»

«Oh vamos, hablas como si lo hicieran todo el tiempo»

«¡Sabes perfectamente que la semana pasada no fue un secuestro!»

Estaba bastante seguro que ser privado de la libertad es un secuestro, especialmente, si utilizan cuerdas y costales como adición al juego; no importaba si al final había sido una “ligera confusión” como lo hicieron llamar los hombres cuando lo vieron llegar.

Aún puede sentir el dolor en sus nudillos.

Envía un emoji como simple respuesta, ahorrándose una discusión entre los dos.

«Ese no es el punto»

«Mystery encontró mi contacto y me envió un mensaje. Parece que mi charla sobre la comunicación es realmente efectiva»

«O algo así…»

Había escuchado la anécdota después de que la conmoción se relajó, no solamente desde la visión de su némesis, sino que su propio compañero de trabajo le compartió algo de su experiencia, mostrándose agradecido por la intervención de Heinz.

Casi se sintió empático por la situación, pero el villano de Peter había llevado al límite sus propios sentimientos, y tenía con un científico malvado para eso; hecho que el agente de Seattle pareció leer en ese momento porque dejó de lado cualquier doble intención que lo llevase a querer ahorcarlo. Ahora se está arrepintiendo de no haberles amenazado por toda esa ridiculez.

«¿Algo así?»

Cuando ve en la barra superior que el hombre adulto está grabando un audio, decide que es un buen momento para comenzar a escapar de la escena, sabiendo que aún en el volumen más bajo, su voz podría ser escuchado hasta por los propios sordos; al ser entonces, una situación extraordinaria, se permite generar otra, dejando a Candace como una delegada temporal de responsabilidad mientras su persona iba por unos instantes al baño.

No supondría más de 20 minutos, si consideraba el tiempo promedio de audio que ha recibido en los últimos tres meses.

Cuando ingresa a la casa, y no ve en la cercanía a ningunos de los adultos con los que convive día a día, se permite ir reproduciendo el primer audio enviado.

“Intentaré resumir un poco de la conversación que hemos tenido, básicamente se ha estado esforzando en hacer grandes pláticas con Peter para explicar sus planes e intenciones, el problema reside cuando sus planes fracasan, en ese preciso momento es incapaz de alejar ese tema de ser misterioso y vuelve a cerrarse. Supongo que es un hábito difícil de enterrar completamente.

El punto es que, de alguna forma que aún no logro comprender, decidió practicar con una inteligencia artificial. Lo que es completamente malvado, ¿sabes todas las implicaciones morales puede tener eso?”

Acelera el audio, percatándose de una larga discusión de un solo sentido sobre el tema; no fue una sorpresa que, en el fondo, estuviese de acuerdo con sus puntos. Doofenshmirtz al fin y al cabo no era un villano como tal.

Para cuando llega al baño, se permite reproducir el segundo audio enviado, dejando que su voz haga eco entre las paredes mientras abre uno de los pasajes secretos a su guarida.

“Para concluir, de algún modo contarle a la inteligencia todo lo que está pasando le permitió poder crear una serie de mini planes para poder hacer un acercamiento más directo con Peter el Panda, pero para asegurarse de que todo saliera en orden, preguntó sobre si podría presentarme este lunes con alguna canción de respaldo”.

Nunca se sintió tan agradecido de alguna vez estar en su guarida. Está seguro de que podría aterrar a cualquier testigo que no pudiera entender porque se estaba riendo tan alto sin importar la intensa sensación de extrañeza que refleja su rostro.

Estaba escéptico. Sabe que su risa aflórese casi como un mecanismo de defensa.

«…»

«Esto no es una broma?»

«En realidad esperaba que vinieras conmigo»

«¡Una de mis bailarinas recurrentes está enferma y no hay nadie que aprenda sus pasos tan rápido!»

Respira, reteniendo el aire, soltándolo después de unos largos segundos; algo en sí quiere seguirse mofando de la situación. Solo que Heinz no merece ser el enfoque de su burla, en absoluto.

«¿Por favor?» la torpe adición del emoji solo hace que realmente no pueda reírse más, incluso si es con él.

«Dame un momento».

Sin necesidad de mirar el alrededor de la habitación, puede caminar directamente al tanque espacioso que utiliza como un espacio personal dentro de sus responsabilidades; ocasionalmente la llenaría hasta el tope de agua, permaneciendo con un tanque de oxígeno y dejándose abrazar por su propia afinidad del buceo. Ahora tan solo se adentra en su vacío, sentándose en la silla circular para deslizar el panel superior, cubriendo el interior, y, en consecuencia, sus propias acciones.

No se había imaginado desarchivando su contacto.

«¿El lunes es tú día libre?»

La reacción inicial de su contraparte lo hace suspirar ya fastidiado; pero es un hombre ocasionalmente rutinario, por lo que una parte que no reconocerá, siempre se encuentra aliviado de que juegue con eso.

«¿Quién eres? ¿Dónde conseguiste mi número?»

«Deja de actuar como un idiota y responde».

«¿Cuál es la contraseña secreta?»

«… ¿en serio me harás escribir eso?»

Quiere empujarse a concluir la conversación hasta ahí. Decirle a Doofenshmirtz que ni toda la ridiculez del mundo vale la pena.

Más sabe que se estaría mintiendo; nunca habrá una mejor oportunidad como ahora para ser quien moleste al azabache.

«.- .--. .-.. .--. .--.»

Jura que algún día podrá convencerlo [obligarlo] a cambiar de contraseña. Preferiblemente, después de un entrenamiento donde pueda humillarlo.

Más cuando su siguiente mensaje le deja en claro cuánto se regocija en ganar la última vez ese acuerdo.

«¿No te encanta este método de verificación? »

«¿Por qué la pregunta? ¿Por fin vas aceptar salir conmigo?»

«He ido a tus dos últimas fiestas y aún no me recupero mentalmente de ellas»

«Contesta»

Se ahorra el “idiota”. Hoy su humor es excepcionalmente bueno; demasiado.

Y crece cada vez más con la confirmación.

«Sí, el lunes es mi día libre, pero tengo en mente algo»

«Será para una próxima ocasión nuestra cita».

Quizás no, pensó. Podrían verse sin ningún problema ese día.

«Que emoción»

«Sabes que puedo escuchar tú sarcasmo desde aquí»

No lo hace, en definitiva, ya que no existe. Está extasiado.

Vuelve al chat que lo originó todo.

Odiaba siquiera imaginarse algún traje de lentejuelas, tan llamativo, casi escandaloso; lo malo es que la balanza seguía tan inclinada a su propio desastre. Lejos de toda la diversión y justicia divina que podría significar, ir implicaba proteger al castaño. Su principal función cuando no están peleando entre sí.

«Sí, estoy disponible»

«¿A qué horas será el ensayo?»

Resulta fácil saber que es la decisión correcta cuando su corazón late al imaginarse su voz replicando el mensaje.

«Sabía que podía contar contigo, Perry el ornitoamable»,

«Es hoy a las 18:00, podrías quedarte a cenar después de eso»

Nunca había dicho un “sí” explícito, no iniciaría ahora.

Él no lo necesitó tampoco, por lo mismo es que siempre tuvo su plato en la mesa.

Agradece que nadie pueda ver la calidez que ruboriza su rostro y eriza su piel.

«Te veré ahí»

«No olvides usar tú llame»

No lo haría, pese a la tentación de usarlo como una excusa para quedarse más tiempo del debido.

#fanfic #phineas and ferb #pnf #pnf perry #pnf doofenshmirtz #perryshmirtz #peter the panda #my edit #professor mystery #random writing #Ustedes no saben lo divertido que fue hacer esto #Dedicación especial para las personas que me inspiraron a esto

11 notes · View notes