#MCL Zackary

[secretsandpurplethoughtss]

MCL Castiel: One Step into the Future

♥ pairing: Castiel x Candy (named Ella), Lysander x another Candy (named Crystal) - both female, using she/her pronouns

♥ wc: 6'768

♥ summary: Castiel's girlfriend is pregnant, and he is having a tough time with that because of his issues with his parents. He goes to Lysander's farm to reconnect with him (after growing apart when Lysander moved away) and hopes to sort out his issues with his former best friend. 

♥ warnings: mention of negelect, fall-out (friendship), mention of death (parents), unhealthy relationships w/ parents

There were three things Castiel Veilmont was sure about all his life:

He’d become a famous musician.

He didn’t necessarily need many people around him to enjoy his life.

He would never ever have children.

As time passed, Castiel knew he was right about all these things. His band was getting more beloved by the day, and he loved every minute of the rockstar lifestyle. If he continued playing his cards right – following his passion, creating music, and having fun, Castiel knew that one day, he and his bandmates would sell out entire stadiums. Right now, they were just playing at festivals and doing small tours across the country, but their fan base and the clicks on their music videos kept growing. His professional life and also his private life seemed to be going well. He didn’t have many people around him (he always suspected this would be the case). Still, those he held close to his heart not only inspired him to create more meaningful songs but also encouraged him to be the best version of himself, a version he never even thought he could ever be. Castiel, of course, often found himself thinking about Zackary, his old bandmate, once one of his best friends, but his betrayal didn’t hurt as much as it did in the beginning. He knew that he and his band “Crowstorm” were thriving and were definitely better off now than before with Zackary, even if he was thankful for all the things Zackary did for the band in the past. Surprisingly, there wasn’t much of a mourning period after Zackary left: Jules replaced him almost immediately. Castiel and Jules knew each other as teenagers but hadn’t been in contact for years. She heard all about the drama that was going on with Crowstorm at the time and how Zackary tried to get Castiel cancelled and kicked off the group – and so, Jules reached out to catch up and to show sympathy regarding his situation. The two of them met up for coffee and talked for hours. He ended up introducing Jules to his other bandmates that night (Gabin and Leopoldine), and they played music together. Jules was not only excellent but also a natural fit for the band. Maybe even more natural than Zackary once was. There was no doubt in Castiel’s mind that Zackary always gave his all, but Jules was more playful and curious, letting them sometimes just explore their ideas for hours, and was okay with not making any progress on songs and albums in the name of art. This freedom made them better musicians, made their new albums more exciting, and although they dreamt of getting big one day and were quite serious about doing so, with Jules, the feeling of “just a bunch of friends having fun while making music” was found once again.

Even Castiel’s girlfriend, Ella, seemed to notice the changes in Castiel’s demeanor whenever he came home from practice or writing sessions.

“I know that Zackary was a good friend for a long time, but… I love how you changed with him gone and Jules in the picture.” Ella told him one night as he sat at the counter, watching her “cook” their dinner.

“Am I really that different? Or are you just crushing on Jules? You know she has a girlfriend, right?” he joked lightheartedly about Ella’s “obsession” with Jules.

“Very funny. You know you should quit being a rockstar and become a comedian! Then I wouldn’t be the only one who had to hear your smart jokes.” She rolled her eyes but still smiled as she stirred whatever she was making in the pot. “You did really change, though. You’re less stressed, you come home smiling and with flowers… and you’re just so inspired all the time now!”

Castiel nodded thoughtfully, reflecting on the stark contrast in his demeanor. He vividly recalled the days of seething anger and overwhelming stress, moments when he contemplated abandoning everything - the band, the music. But since Zackary’s departure, those thoughts had ceased to haunt him.

“You know… The inspiring part is also thanks to you.” He got up and put his arm around Ella from behind. He knew he was lucky with her – even if she was absolutely horrendous in the kitchen, and he fought his “fight or flight reflex” every time he was forced to eat one of her home-cooked meals. Even with that in mind, Ella was everything he not only wanted in a partner, but also everything he needed.

Life became… easy at some point. Castiel was good at the whole “rockstar” thing, even parts he never imagined he would be – like all the photoshoots, interviews, and social media stuff he used to hate. He liked his privacy, sure, but he naturally became more outgoing, easy-going, and less angry as he kept getting older and enjoying the life he was building. Though he wished he could not post so much on his Instagram account and people wouldn’t try to take pictures of him wherever he went, he was getting used to it all. He enjoyed the predictable moments with Ella and his friends, but he liked the surprises and “adventures” his job had in store for him. But as he settled into his life, there was a “surprise” he never in a million years expected: Ella was pregnant.

She told him over Facetime while he was on tour with Crowstorm… In the beginning, she wanted to wait for him to come home and tell him in person, but she looked and sounded so stressed during their daily video call that Castiel kept asking and pushing her about why she was acting so strange. “I know we talked about having kids before, but… we never came to an actual conclusion. You were never the biggest fan of having kids, but we’ve grown and changed since we last had this conversation… so I guess I’m asking you where you’re at right now?” she asked him.

Whenever the conversation about having kids arose, he told Ella about his worries about being a good father and not having any idea what a good father was actually supposed to be like. Not to mention how busy he and Ella were all the time – he knew very well what it was like to be the child of two busy people, people who were married to their jobs, who put their passion above their family. Growing up, Castiel often wondered why his parents ever decided to have him, when it was always clear to them that they’d never be around. His father, Jean-Louis, was a pilot before he was a father, and his mother, Valerie, was a flight attendant before she was a mother. They barely spent any time at home, and up until the age of eight, his grandmother looked after him, always coming around and cooking meals and helping him with his homework. Then she died, and Castiel was left alone, growing very independent but also always finding himself in uncomfortable situations, making excuses about his parents’ whereabouts whenever he did the weekly shopping at the store, ran into the mailman and the neighbors outside, or when someone important called the house phone, wanting to speak with his parents. Castiel spent his days in solitude and became an absolute loner – later in life, he often wondered if he would have ended up more social if he had grown up different, more normal, and more traditional. At some point, he stopped thinking about the “what could have been,” though.

Thankfully, his parents gave him his best friend, Demon, one Christmas. Castiel suspected they might have felt guilty about never being around but not guilty enough to make a change regarding their professional lives. As a kid, he would have loved to have his parents around more, but even then, he knew it would never happen, so he took the win: Demon became his family. The two of them would do everything together. He dropped him off every morning at dog daycare before school, trained him, took daily walks with him, and found himself taking his dog everywhere. Restaurants on rare occasions, he went out to eat, band rehearsals with his first band (old band), or even just to spend time at the beach on those hot summer days. When Castiel found out that he had a half-sister, who was six months younger than him, from an affair his father had while his mother was pregnant with him, things drastically changed. Violet, his sister, moved in with him because she couldn’t stay with her mother or her mother’s side of the family any longer, and suddenly, there was more life in the house he lived in than ever before. He had to learn what it meant to share his space – because he definitely didn’t even try to do so on those couple of days his parents were at home out of anger at them – and how to be part of a family that didn’t mean just his dog. And while Castiel became an exemplary brother, looking after his little sister – because Violet definitely needed to be looked after – he never believed himself to be a great caregiver or a possible father figure. Castiel’s family was so different from everyone else’s; he had such a vague idea of what an actual family was supposed to look like that the thought of having children of his own terrified him. Ella gave him time to process, and she promised she wouldn’t bring it up until he had time to think – the deadline was the day he returned home. He wanted to uphold his promise, but the tour was a great distraction, which he happily used for the following three weeks. The day he was supposed to go home and have a conversation with his girlfriend about what their family would look like in the future, he felt physically sick standing in front of the apartment building, unable to walk in and face the reality of seeing Ella pregnant. Although he had just gotten off the tour bus and he knew Ella was waiting for him in their apartment, he took a taxi to the train station. He told himself he wasn’t really running away as he bought a ticket to visit an old friend… Lysander.

Lysander and Castiel were best friends in high school but slowly grew apart after college. He knew this had a lot to do with Lysander’s parent’s death, the event changing Lysander into someone Castiel had difficulty recognizing from time to time. Lysander moved back home onto the family farm, the same farm he was running away from when he decided to move in with his older brother, Leigh, and lead his life in the city at the age of fourteen. All the plans Lysander, not only him, but the two of them had together were suddenly not important anymore: Lysander was desperate to connect with his dead parents and to please them even, or really, especially in death by overtaking the farm he used to hate growing up. Instead of a famous poet, composer, musician, or singer, Lysander became a farmer. Castiel was, of course, aware that he was a talented musician. Still, even he knew he’d probably never get on Lysander’s level because Lysander was special – a prodigy who walked away from the obvious path he should have taken. For years, he tried to convince Lysander to take back his own life, to live his life the way he desired to live it before he let his parent’s death control him, but Lysander never budged, and they just became angrier and more frustrated with each other. Castiel knew that Lysander wouldn’t have stayed in his life if it wasn’t for Ella’s twin sister, Crystal, the woman Lysander now called his wife. So, he and Castiel remained friendly for their partner’s sake, but their relationship didn’t feel like a friendship anymore. Castiel didn’t want to give up on the Lysander he once knew, and Lysander was furious with him for that. Surprisingly, even though they hadn’t talked (really talked) in a long time, Castiel found himself on a train to the farm, texting apologies to Ella for not coming home, for not being ready to talk to her about their future. Ella was furious with him, especially because she couldn’t understand why he would rather speak to Lysander, the guy who hadn’t been his friend, let alone his best friend for years at that point, than with her, his partner. Castiel couldn’t explain this sudden urge to see Lysander either, but he was somehow the person he needed at that moment – Castiel just hoped that Lysander wasn’t too mad at him to help him through this, and that Lysander didn’t completely change, unable to provide him with whatever he was looking for.

Crystal: Castiel, please tell me you didn’t actually run out on my pregnant sister!

Crystal: Is it true that you’re coming here for some reason?

He texted back and forth with Crystal, confirming that he was not only a colossal asshole but also an idiot for doing whatever he was doing. After five hours on the train, where he was either texting the twins (who were both pissed at him) or catching up on some much-needed sleep, he arrived at his destination, and Crystal was waiting for him at the station, clearly unhappy with the situation Castiel pulled her into.

“I’m guessing no hugs by your face.”, he tried to joke as he walked towards her.

Crystal was much more even-tempered than her twin, more logical than emotional. Yet, Castiel knew that he had majorly fucked up because he had never seen Crystal look at him or at anyone else before the way she was measuring him up then. “You should be glad I’m not putting you back on the train! Or punch you, for that matter...” she told him with ice-cold eyes and a dry tone.

She wasn’t a violent type or a person who made threats, so this was out of character for her. He made her act like this… She hadn’t talk to him this way even when he and Lysander fought.

“Where is Lysander?” he ignored the comment as he knew he deserved it.

“Working. Just because you decided to show up without even asking us first, doesn’t mean our world stops. If you’d ever visit us, you’d know that owning a farm is a lot of work, and we can’t really do anything spontaneously.”, she explained to him as he put his luggages in the back of the dark green pick-up truck. She was right about this – Castiel refused to visit them and to accept that Lysander and Crystal living on this farm was not just a temporary thing. He had no idea what the farm looked like, and he only had a handful of information about it because, over the years at family gatherings, he has overheard both Lysander and Crystal talking about running it.

“I’m sorry.” Castiel apologized to her as they both took their seats in the truck. Crystal didn’t start the car; she just looked forward, thinking hard about what she wanted to say to him.

“I understand that you had a difficult and very different childhood than most people get in life, but Ella and I also did not grow up under normal circumstances. I cannot comprehend why you would ever think she would not understand your fear of becoming a parent.”

Castiel, of course, knew that the Shepherd-Quinn children weren’t really raised by their parents but by their nannies, chefs, and other staff members. Like many children born into wealth, when it came to parental figures, they first thought of people who worked for them, then their actual parents. Still… this was different. The twins and their older brother, Xavier, had people to look up to, and they had parental figures in their lives – it just wasn’t the people who were their actual parents. Castiel had no one he could consider a parent or a parent-like figure.

“It’s not the same thing. I… I know that Ella would understand to an extent, but… It’s just not the same thing.”

“Well, Lysander’s situation is even more different. He had two very loving parents who raised him until he turned fourteen and left for the city. Even after he moved out, his parents called him daily and looked after him from afar.”, Crystal argued, still not starting the car.

“I know that! Crystal, I can’t explain myself, okay? I don’t know why it’s Lysander who I need right now, but it is!”

“Okay...” without looking at him, Crystal started up the car and began driving towards the farm.

Some sad song was playing on the radio, which further worsened his already sour mood, but Castiel was too scared to ask Crystal to change the station or to change it himself. During the entire drive, they didn’t speak – which was unusual. They have always gotten along and always had something to talk about: Castiel feared that he’d also finally lost Crystal, just like how he lost Lysander.

Even during the drive Castiel, could already see what both Lysander and Crystal liked about living in the countryside. While Castiel loved living in the city, he could finally recognize the beauty and the appeal of living in a small town like the one they lived in. Sure, the roads were bumpy, and some of the streets they’d driven on didn’t have actual roads, but there was beautiful nature all around them, with kids playing on the side of the roads and fat cats basking in the sun after they’d hunted down the dozens of country mice roaming around in the fields. Never in his life before did Castiel appreciate the simplicity of small towns, so he found himself ashamed of dragging them to filth in many arguments before with Lysander.

When they arrived at the Ainsworth family farm, Castiel was even more surprised because it did not look the way he had imagined it would. When they were teenagers, Lysander often told him how old and run-down the entire place looked, but it seemed like he and Crystal managed to renovate it into something straight out of a children’s book.

“This place is huge!” Castiel looked around with a wide-open mouth as he exited the car. “What crops are you guys growing here?”

“Carrots, corn, tomatoes, wheat, sunflowers, strawberries, grapes, and pumpkins. We also have some apple trees.”

“And you have bunnies, right?” Castiel knew that Lysander stopped eating meat when he took over the farm, feeling bad for eating the animals he was raising. Crystal was vegetarian before that. The two of them only had rabbits to sell because they found rabbits adorable. “Yes. Alongside our chickens, cows, sheep, goats, horses, llamas, our cat, Chubbs, and our dog, Belle.”

Castiel couldn’t start to imagine how much work it was to keep such a vast farm running and how many people Lysander and Crystal had to employ and keep their eyes on. Not to mention that, unlike Lysander, Crystal didn’t work full-time on the farm as she often drove into the city for performances – she was a relatively well-known opera singer.

“I am not sure where Lys is but let us go inside for now.”

Crystal showed him to one of their guestrooms. “Do you want to lay down for a while? You look tired, and Lys won’t be back in the house for hours…”

Castiel was itching to see Lysander and finally talk to him, but he also hadn’t slept well for a while, so he agreed to rest until Crystal came to get him. He slept in the soft, comfortable bed until 4 pm and would have slept longer if it wasn’t for Crystal waking him up.

“Rise and shine, Cas! Are you hungry?”

He was starving.

When they went downstairs into the kitchen, Castiel realized how authentic this house was to who Lysander and Crystal were. He always imagined it to be more representative of the previous owners, Lysander’s parents, but that wasn’t true at all. The colors, the furniture, and the decorations screamed of Lysander’s and Crystal’s taste. Although Lysander moved back here for his parents, it did seem like he made his new life here into something that was his own.

“You are gawking…” Crystal commented as she walked over to the kitchen counter, where freshly made, warm fennel carrot soup was on the stove. “Do you care for some soup and homemade bread?”

Castiel always knew that Crystal was way better in the kitchen than Ella, as Crystal had always been interested in cooking and learned to cook from their private chefs. He just never knew that it was a crime that Crystal didn’t own a five-star restaurant of her own – the bread she made from scratch, and the carrot soup she had given him was the best meal he had ever had.

“So, where is Lys?” he asked between bites, sitting at the long wooden table. Crystal has set the table for three, but Lysander was nowhere to be seen.

“Probably got distracted with something. He is horrible with time, you know that.”

He did know that about him and was glad that after all these years, there was something about Lysander that stayed the same.

“Are you guys… are you guys happy here?”

Crystal gave him a disapproving look regarding his question, thinking he was about to start another argument about their chosen lifestyle.

“No, no, no, I mean it for real… Is this life making you happy?”

Crystal eased back into her chair and smiled for the first time since Castiel had arrived. She smiled similarly to how Ella smiled, making Castiel’s heart tug as he thought of his girlfriend at home in their apartment. “You know this already, but I have never imagined living on a farm, much less running it. But this life… this was meant for us. And farm life is hard work, but we love it very much.”

“Lysander loves this?”

“Every second.” she nodded. “I am sure that a lot of it has to do with his parents and his childhood, but Lys is a sensitive soul, so he loves caring for animals and does appreciate seeing the results of his hard work. Plus, even you must admit that this place is beautiful.”

“It does have a certain charm…” he sighed, making Crystal’s smile more prominent.

“Finally! He caves.”

“Not fully…” Castiel put up his hands defensively. “But this visit was long overdue.”

“That is an understatement.”

Just as Crystal finished her sentence, Lysander appeared out of nowhere. He was wearing an ancient, flowy beige blouse and dark green overalls. He was wearing a giant sunhat over his white and black hair, and as he was walking towards them, he was peeling off black gloves from his hands.

“Hello there.” he nodded towards Castiel before leaning down to Crystal and kissing her. “It smells great in here.”

“Today’s dinner is carrot soup and fresh bread.”

“God bless you.” Lysander put his glowless hand over his stomach to signal his hunger. Then he walked over to the sink, washed his hands and arms, and even splashed water on his face. In the meantime, Crystal got up to pour him some soup in the baby blue-white soup bowl she had set the table with and to cut him a couple of pieces of bread.

It was still hurtful that Lysander and he now either greeted each other with a slide nod or with a handshake when, back in the day, they exchanged huge smiles and hugs, whenever they ran into each other.

“How is everything with the… crops and animals?” Castiel tried to make conversation, though it came out incredibly awkward. Lysander gave him a surprised look, probably because Castiel had never even faked interest in the farm before, but once Lysander composed himself, he answered honestly.

“Good. I think Precious will give birth soon.”

“P-precious?”

“Oh, right. Precious is one of our rabbits.”

“Oh!”

The conversation ended there because Castiel had no idea what else he could say. He was scared of accidentally causing an argument, and he didn’t know how to converse with Lysander anymore. Once Lysander sat down to eat, he and Crystal were more or less only talking about the farm business, and Castiel kept quiet, eating dinner and listening to them. Just from today, he understood that what Crystal said at the train station was not really to hurt him, but instead the simple truth: their lives didn’t stop just because he decided to come by, and they couldn’t really do “spontaneous” things, and visits, because running the farm was colossal work. As he continued to listen to them and eat the delicious food before him, he was amazed at just how normal this conversation between them seemed: they talked about animals that soon would need a checkup, ranch hands and their performances, and other things Castiel didn’t fully understand because he knew nothing about crops. This was their daily life, but Castiel had never even tried to imagine them like this because he was too stubborn to do so. Crystal and Lysander were in their element, discussing their farm and family business. Castiel wished he could have turned back time and been more supportive of them, especially Lysander. Leaving the city behind didn't seem like a mistake; he appeared at ease, and if it wasn't for Castiel's surprise visit and overall idiocy, Lysander might have appeared happier.

“Okay, well, we can discuss this later.” Crystal finished up the conversation once they had all finished eating and were just sitting at the dining table.

“I’ll do the dishes.” Lysander stood up, but Crystal gave him a stern look.

“No, you won’t. Not today… You two need to go outside and have a conversation. No hiding, no more excuses and distractions.���

Lysander looked bothered because he most certainly did not want to do what he was told, but nonetheless, he started walking towards the door.

“Go on…” Crystal nodded at Castiel, who also got up to follow Lysander outside.

It was already half-six, and the sun was setting with beautiful colors—pink, yellow, and purple. Castiel wished Ella would be on his side to show her how beautiful it all looked.

“So…” Lysander sat on the porch, and Castiel sat beside him. They didn’t look at each other for multiple minutes, both deep in their thoughts, not sure how to start the conversation. Castiel knew that it was the least he could do to start the conversation, apologize, and explain his behavior not just today but also for the past two years.  

“The longer I spend here at the farm, the more I can see just how perfect it is for you and Crystal.” he admitted. This sentence surprised Lysander so much that he turned towards him with an open mouth and big eyes. Castiel understood this reaction—the way he had talked about the farm ever since Lysander decided to leave the city behind was vulgar, to say the least. “Did Crystal slip you some drugs when I was working?” Lysander asked, more serious than joking.

“No, I think I just… Now that I’m confronted by all of this, I get it more or less. Why you did it, why you enjoy it, and… that it’s much more you than I imagined. I thought you were lying to yourself all this time when it came to this place, and although I did have your best interest at heart, I just… I fucked up. I was too angry with you and this place to even consider how all of this might be good for you.”

Lysander stayed quiet for a long time. Castiel didn’t expect him to forgive him, but he did hope for a response – even if it was negative. Before talking about all the craziness of his future with Ella, he just wanted to address "the elephant in the room," and he knew that he owed an apology to Crystal and Lysander. He also desperately craved a cigarette, but he forgot the pack up "in his room."

"You really grew," Lysander commented with a hint of a smile. "When we were teenagers, you were so stubborn you would have never admitted to being such an idiot. You got better in college, but now…"

Lysander didn't finish the sentence; he just turned away from him and watched the view thoughtfully. Castiel knew Lysander was right, and that age and his life experiences made him more "mature." He was still quick to anger and too stubborn for his own good, but at least he learned to recognize his mistakes (though, this time, it was way too late) and how to apologize for them. He also learned how to let go, which he struggled immensely with. Castiel was often caught up in "alternate universes" he was creating in his mind, where things ended up working out differently, like his parents giving him more attention when he was a kid, his ex-girlfriend Deborah not choosing her music career over him, or Zackary didn't betray him, throwing away their friendship. Accepting things and moving on was hard for him, but every time he was disappointed in the past twenty-seven years of his life, he was forced to move on from these bad memories – otherwise, he would have ended up as a genuinely bitter and miserable man. For three years, Castiel couldn't accept Lysander's choice to become a farmer instead of a musician or artist. For three years, he destroyed their friendship because he was so sure he was right and too stubborn and hurt to listen to what Lysander was telling him.

"I still think that you're one of a kind. And it's a crime not to share your talent with the world, but I know that this is your choice and that it's not about me and the plans we made when we were young.

Not everything is about me, he reminded himself Castiel.

"Thank you." Lysander turned to him again, and his hidden smile was no longer hidden. Although Lysander had always been a hard person to read, Castiel knew that at that moment, he was proud of him. "This means a lot."

They fell quiet, watching the scenery in front of them. Castiel felt like an invisible weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He and Lysander were not back to being friends. Castiel knew he had to earn back that friendship and that it would take time, but at least all the bad blood between them had disappeared. It was a clean slate, a fresh start.

"I have to ask…" Lysander was the one who broke the silence. "What is happening with you and Ella? Why would you run out on her like this? I know that the idea of becoming a father is terrifying to you, but…"

Castiel immediately felt his heart tighten. He had never run off before – he and Ella would always talk (and often scream) things out whenever they had problems. This was so unlike him, and it must have hurt Ella.

“I don’t know if Ella can ever forgive me for this,” Castiel admitted. “Hell, when I go home, she can punch me in the face, and I’ll gladly let her. I deserve this. I never thought I had it in me to act like such a scum and to hurt the woman I love, fully conscious of my actions.”

“Then why did you?”

“Because… I’m going to lose her. Whatever I decide on, I know that I’m going to lose her, and it made my entire body tense up and run because I can’t and simply… couldn’t even dare think about a future without her.”

“Lose her? Why would you lose her?”

Castiel closed his eyes, trying to calm his breathing and not concentrate on his racing heart and tensed-up muscles. Even just talking about it felt like he was dying.

“Because I don’t know how to be a father, especially not a good father. If we have children, I will blow up our lives! She’ll see me fail, and not only will she hate me for my failures, but so will my kids… And if we decide against having children… let’s just say that even though we talked about it many times in the past, during that Facetime call with Ella when she told me she was pregnant, I could tell that she wanted this pregnancy and that she wants to be a mom. I can’t ask her to get an abortion; that’s just not right…”

“Castiel, you’re not going to be a bad father…” Lysander wanted to continue, but Castiel caught him off.

“You don’t know that! Out of everyone, you know the best that I don’t know how a family should function and what one’s relationship with its parents is supposed to be like! How can I become a parent when I don’t even know what parents are supposed to be like? And I’m gone A LOT, which will be even more so in the future! I’m lucky with Ella, but even leaving her behind is killing me, even though she keeps reassuring me about it! I can’t do the same thing to a child, but I don’t want to give up my dreams!”

His head started hurting because he “couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

“You won’t have to give up your dreams! Come on, Castiel, Ella is your biggest supporter! I’m sure that you’d be able to work something out!”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’d have no idea what the fuck I would be supposed to be doing!”

“Most new parents also have no clue… and… Castiel… Look, you are thinking about what’s best for your child already! Your child is not even born, but you’re already looking out for them! That’s what parenthood should be about! You do your best and want the best for your child! That’s all one can do! Someone who already cares for their kid, when they’re not even a baby yet, won’t be a bad father… And you’re forgetting about Ella! You guys are a team; you won’t be alone! And although she didn’t have the most “usual” childhood either, she had people looking after her, so if you have questions or worries, you can always go to her!”

With every sentence that left Lysander’s mouth, he felt calmer. He was so blinded by his fear until this moment that he couldn’t think clearly, but now…

“There are classes you guys can take, books you can read, and forums you can visit. That and teamwork will guide you! Plus, you can ask your friends who are already parents for advice.”

“True, but we don’t know many parents. Only Leigh and Rosalya…” he muttered to himself.

“Actually…” Lysander coughed into his hand awkwardly before giving Castiel a shy smile. “You also have Crystal and I.”

It took Castiel an embarrassingly long minute before he understood what Lysander meant by that.

“Wait…! Is Crystal pregnant?”

“Yes. We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while, but because of these current circumstances…” Lysander teased.

“Oh my God! Congratulations!” Castiel jumped up and pulled Lysander up with himself. He gave him a big, very tight, and real hug. It has been a while since they shared a hug, let alone such a joyous and real one.

“Thank you…” Lysander whispered as he eased into the hug.

“Man! This is amazing! You guys are going to be parents!”

“I see Lysander broke the news…” Crystal showed up with two beer cans in her hands. “These are for you boys!”

Castiel rushed over to her, took the beers out of her hand, and put them down before giving her a big hug, too. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you, thank you… Although, if you would like to meet your niece or nephew one day, I suggest you ease up on the hug a little.”

Castiel laughed as he let her go. “Sorry, I’m just so happy for you guys! This is amazing! We have to toast!”

Crystal smiled and watched as Castiel opened the beer cans and handed one to Lysander.

“Would you like water or anything else?”

“No, no, I am fine. I don’t need anything.”

“Well, if that’s the case, congratulations to you both! You are going to be… wonderful parents! I can’t wait to meet my nephew or niece! And if they can hear me in there…” he pointed to Crystal’s stomach. “I’ll have you know that I’ll be your favorite uncle! I’m stopping with the stupidity and arguments as of today.”

“I’ll gladly drink to all of this!” Lysander raised the can, and they clanked them together before taking a ceremonial first sip.

“You two are… good now?” Crystal asked, measuring them up carefully.

Castiel wanted to say, “I hope so” or “We’re okay, but will get there,” but didn’t want to put words in Lysander’s mouth again.

“I think so,” Lysander answered with a slight smile. “It will be work, but having my best friend back is good. I missed him a lot…”

Castiel’s eyes immediately became wet upon hearing that, and he quickly blinked away the tears out of embarrassment. Even though he got over Zackary and the loss of that friendship, he couldn’t get over Lysander in a million years. Their friendship was exceptional and a once-in-a-million situation, even though they hit a three-year rough patch.

“Are you okay, Cas?” Crystal walked over to him and pulled him into a hug.

Out of everyone they knew, Crystal was one of the few who truly understood how much their friendship meant to them both.

“Yeah. It’s the dust…”

“What a liar!” Crystal chuckled.

“I’m sorry, it got very emotional!” he protested against “showing weakness,” even though he was amongst people he didn’t really mind showing his sensitive side in front of. “I could just hug the shit out of you for saying such things… But I don’t want to make your pregnant wife feel like a third wheel!”

“Oh, I was used to that with the both of you. Feel free to show off your “bromance” because I would not be a third wheel, anyway! Our child is always with me!” she explained.

“That’s true. At best, she’d be fourth wheeling.” Lysander nodded, still smiling.

“But before you two run off into the sunset… What about my sister?”

"We talked about that too… that's why Lysander told me you're also pregnant. I feel better and see things more clearly, but I have to go home first thing in the morning and talk seriously with her."

"Look, you know me, I am big on privacy, but I need to know if you will break her heart. I have always believed in the two of you, and I know that you love each other, but if having a child is a no-go for you and Ella wants to keep the baby…"

"Whatever Ella wants to do, we'll do, and I'll be at her side the entire time. But if we keep the baby, we'll have to sort out many things because of how hectic our lives are. And I'll probably panic a lot, but I won't run away anymore…"

“I am glad to hear that.” Crystal nodded approvingly.  “I’ll text my sister that you’re not planning to make a run for Mexico under a new identity.”

“I would never!” Castiel laughed.

“Oh, she asked me to stop you if you’d bring up the idea. Pregnant or not, I would have locked you up in the shed!”

“Kinky…”

The three laughed, spending the night outside, talking freely and happily about life: Lysander and Crystal were brimming with excitement about their impending parenthood. Despite the challenges of managing a farm, they were hopeful. Castiel, too, was filled with hope, his band’s successes and bright future fueling his optimism. All of them talked without any restraints or resentment for the first time in three years – and Castiel could see his future clearly in that moment. The image of his kids running around the farm, playing with Lysander’s and Crystal’s kids on one of their visits, where Ella was of course also at his side, didn’t seem so scary anymore. In the future, Castiel would read enough parenting books and watch enough documentaries about raising children to be confident about his abilities as a father. He hoped this would be the case at least.

[maddafuchagurl]

A psycho stare 👀

[aloy97]

MCL SE3 OPINIONS(spoiler)

personal opinion about boh episodes.

EPISODE 1 ( from the point of view of castiel

Castiel: I’m in love with that red T-shirt with the ketchup drawn,   I demand other scenes like this because it made me squeal laughing. For the rest well I love it,  alternate moments of pure sweetness to Grumpy cat side beautifully, making it the romance, not sorted but calibrated right. super  happy  to start with Castiel’s arc Nina: I’m indifferent, honestly at times I feel almost bland but nevertheless I like to get along, although I don’t seem at all a university student Steve: funny as a cactus up the bum, I had a hard time bearing it. From the idea more than fans , to be a poser, so much so that shippava tania with cass and gave the sweety of the cease substantially ( how cutie and -.-)... Secondly, I do not understand his way of thinking. First he says he’s a fan, then he almost enjoys knowing that darkjon316,  is shaming them....  Kiddo take a position because if it is a band you love, you should instead support them and not foment a rumor ... No words.. rosalya: I can’t honestly forget what put us through college, so the further away, the better, Alexy:  Kiddo what did they do to you! , what is this "egg" cutter?( please don’t ruin me too morgan because I cry) much better in the SE2. For the rest I appreciate it has its little secrets Huhu In fact, I take the opportunity to say, that finally, the beemoov understands that not everything revolves around the drama of the character, I appreciated indeed Chani, nina, alexy and rose had their secrets. Just to give a clue to their problems... What in the SE2 did not happen at the beginning and disintegrated for all its duration.However I still hold, because I want to see from the ep 3 what they combine.. Eric : what a cool guy he is?, I like him much more than Rayan almost,immediately after I heard the name, I didn’t realize he was the famous cop who helped Nathaniel. I hope to see him often, I like him as a person, very easy to use.Above all: I demand that shirt with dinosaurs!!!! Chani : I’m a little disappointed that it helps lepers, in fact I’m sorry it’s so blocked, because you see that he clearly would like to do something else in life... I still hope to be able to talk to her often that I see far 1km how sad it is... Marina   : marina is the new melody of the situation... And I don’t know whether to worry about cass , since she likes their music or if to spit them in an eye for parcondicio.Staremo to see, for now seems the classic   "fan" of both cass and rayan ep rating : 8 episode rich and very pleasant to play

______________________________________________

EPISODE 2 MCL LL

I won’t go much further, at least I hope: The second episode is more technical than the first  , at times hasty but not sorry by... In my case, I don’t know if with other romances, it’s different , I’m obviously much more involved, since I work with what one day is hoped to be my husband ahaha and so there is much focus on zackary, gabin and leopoldina... Zackary: is the big brother of the group, for now the most pacifist, almost a replacement of lysandrè seems... I do not know him well yet but he is very much up against Castiel  , who instead is more explosive in reacting when something does not fit him. The two seem at times similar of the times.  As for the drama of plagiarism, honestly I am more in agreement with Castiel... To design a video will not cover up what darkjon316 wants to do, I would say, too simplistic as what. So in my opinion, minding your own business and standing tall is better... Rather than a music video, it would be better to unmask Darkjon with actual tests. Making a new song is implicit can not be considered plagiarism and I put my hand on the fire is all result of editing and hacking. leopoldina seems like a normal person for now, but he doesn’t unbutton much. Very sweet but it seems to me not reason very singularly and that he is behind too much zack.. But I could be wrong eh, deep down we know them recently. Gabin for now seems very insipid as a character, does not participate in the truth miss the discussion, certainly the least " expansive" of the group. But like Leo, we’ll see

Now I wait for the 3 episode to know exactly how will continue the story, please, I beg you  beemoov only, to NOT focus everything on Castiel and to do as you are doing now, to give everyone your space or Castiel, will become like Nath in season two.

[eldaryadiary]

Zack: I know you feel betrayed—…

Castiel: Yes, well, that’s one of the unpleasant side-effects of betrayal.

[maddafuchagurl]

So... why are people sleeping on Zackary? I mean...  🔥