Jonah was more than a little jittery when he finally made it to Portland's airport, Angie rubbing his arm in a rhythmic manner that was annoying more than comforting him, but he wasn't gonna tell her that.
Thank God for Lucas, Jonah nearly chuckled at the thought. It wasn't the first or even the third time he thought this in the last 20 hours and the irony wasn't lost on him. Luke was waiting for him at the end of the disembark area, but he opened his arms for a hug and it was Angie who leaped forward to jump on him.
"How are you, kiddo?" he said, his voice muffled as he swooped Angelina into a bear hug and pulled her feet off the ground. Angie's whole face turned a shade darker as she blushed bashfully, a huge smile on her face.
"Next trip you should tag along," she said, pushing his arm in a playful manner.
"I'll hold you up to that invite," Lucas' was all smiles and Jonah could see right through him, keeping Angie busy so they didn't need to rehash uncomfortable details in front of the teenager. Instead of greeting Jonah, he planted a hand on the man's nape and squeezed in a comforting way, tugging Jon closer to Luke could press a kiss on the top of his curls.
Jonah huffed, shoving his friend off by the chest and staring ahead. He had a million questions, but he didn't want to ask them in front of Angie. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, but he didn't want her knowing something he knew Leo wouldn't want to tell. His fiancé was terribly private with strangers and Angelina was still that to him.
"You're staying with Wendy, that's alright, Ange?" Luke asked, putting her luggage in the trunk of his car and piling Jonah's on top of it. Angie's eyes darted between Jonah and Luke and she frowned.
"Is Leo alright?" Her voice was careful, measured and Luke smiled at her, slamming the trunk closed.
"He'll be fine, he just needs some cuddles from your brother," he said smoothly, as if Jonah wasn't right there. Angie nodded, not looking very convinced.
"Okay... Yeah, staying at Wendy's fine, as long as I'm not imposing."
"She volunteered her couch," Lucas yawned, opening the backseat door for the girl and gesturing for her to get in, "it's bigger than mine and much comfier, otherwise you'd be staying with us."
"Aw," she pouted, getting inside, "I was looking forward to knowing Bella better, she seems so cool."
"She is," Luke sounded incredibly smug, "we're gonna have dinner together, you'll have the chance to chat- Jon, get inside, man."
Jonah wasn't sure how he was even functioning, the past twenty hours since Luke's call had been hellish, consumed by worry. He hadn't rested at all and it was definitely getting to him, he felt almost dizzy.
He was half dozing off against the window for most of the drive, switching between staring at Leo's messages - not a single new text - and listening as Luke continued to talk with Angie. College, exchanging tidbits about Europe, asking her what she wanted for dinner-
"Jon, we're here," Luke shook his knee gently and Jonah blinked, rubbing his eyes. He hadn't realized he fell asleep, but now they were inside his building's garage and Lucas was already getting his bag out of the trunk.
"You're not coming up....?"
"Nope, tell Bell we're waiting for her downstairs," Luke passed him the handle of his bag, then pulled Jonah into a sudden, but unsurprising hug, "he's alright," he lowered his voice so Angie couldn't hear from inside the car, where she had turned around in the backseat to watch them, "shaken, but he's okay. I think he just needs you."
Jonah nodded briskly and Luke let go of him.
He wasn't sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn't to hear Leo's laughter the minute he crossed the doorway. Jonah let go of his bag, shutting the front door gently and hearing as Leo giggled, "noooo, he's hot, you're just mean-"
"He looks like a very stressed rat," Bella's voice was clearly amused and Jonah walked further in, smiling as he saw they had collected half the blankets of the house and were curled up in the living room couch, Leo's head pressed to Bella's shoulder and her fingers combing through his hair as they watched House of Gucci.
"Hi?"
Leo's head snapped up so quickly he nearly hit Bella's chin, missing it by a couple inches, "Jon!" he tried to get up, but they had trapped themselves with the blankets and all he managed was to almost fall off, legs tangled.
Jonah leaped forward too, stepping over Bella's legs and nearly falling as well, pulling Leo into a tight hug. He had been so fucking worried, it was a huge relief to be able to touch him.
Leo let out a groan, his face pressed to Jonah's neck, "can't-breathe-" and Jon pulled back, cupping his face. Somehow he had thought Leo would look worse, but he looked just as fine as ever. His hair was definitely dirty, because instead of pin straight it was so wavy it had almost turned curly, and there were dark circles like bruises under his blue eyes as well as more than a stubble covering his cheeks... Other than that he looked fine.
"God-" Jonah lurched forward haphazardly, lips smashing together in a kiss that was nearly a bruise. Leo breathed out, hands coming up to cup his cheek and lips pressing against his, the tip of his nose was freezing pressed against Jonah's cheekbone, "you're alright- You're ok," Jon chanted feverishly, pulling back and studying his boyfriend's face.
Leo's eyes were overly shiny and he sniffled, but nodded and then pulled back, his whole face turning red as a cherry as they realized Bella had been directly under them, watching, completely trapped by the fact they were each stepping in one end of the blanket.
"No, don't mind me, this is cute," she said sarcastically, causing Leo to let out a watery chuckle.
"Sorry," he tried to pull back from Jonah, didn't manage when his boyfriend didn't let go, so instead Bella rolled out of the couch in the most convoluted way.
"Luke's waiting downstairs," Jonah said, cringing as he realized how dismissive he had been. Luckily this was Bella, who didn't take offense easily, and she raised a thumb up, crawling to grab her boots from under the couch.
"One of you text us later," she said, her voice coming out muffled, "or Lucas is gonna come here and I know none of you want that-" she sat down on the ground to put on her combat boots and JD appeared as well, trying to chew on the cords, "and don't worry about Angie, we got her."
"Angie's here?" Leo asked and Jonah completely ignored it, leaning in so he could press his whole face to the side of his boyfriend's, inhaling him.
"We got her, don't worry," Bella shrugged, "between Wendy and Lucas she'll be so busy she's gonna want to go home," she stood up, looking around for her purse and grabbing it, "I'm serious, text us."
"Okay," Jon mumbled and heard a small exasperated huff, before Bella's footsteps vanished down the hallway, her voice coming "no baby, you can't come with me-" as she kept JD inside and then the door shutting.
Jonah breathed out and Leo turned slightly, tilting his body back so he was able to look him in the eyes, "I'm glad you're home."
"What happened?"
Leo's brows dipped and his lips tugged on the corners, "I was hoping Luke would've spilled it all-"
"I don't wanna hear it from Luke, I wanna know it from you," Jonah scoffed and Leo nodded, then pulled him down to the messy couch.
Jonah had had time enough to come up with a thousand hypotheticals, so as he heard the ballroom class tale, he was both relieved it wasn't something worse and floored by the cheer improbability of it.
He didn't miss the way Leo's voice became squeezed and weird when he said Amelia didn't even remember him or how she had called him by his father's name. His boyfriend gulped down, looking away and hugging his knees, as if he wanted to turn himself into a little ball, "and that's it. Wendy drove me home and the guys have been keeping me company since."
Jonah sighed, "you called off work?"
"Wendy did it for me," Leo snorted, "she said she was my doctor," he pressed his chin to his knee, "I'm okay, I- I'm not okay," he corrected himself, meeting Jonah's eyes, "but I'm not as bad as they seem to think I am... I called my therapist and he suggested I go back up to twice a week instead of only once, at least for this month."
"Okay," Jon scooted closer, not able to stomach the tiny distance between them. He wanted to scoop up Leo and not let go for the next eight or nine hours.
"I keep- I keep thinking of her face, right?" the blonde picked at the skin of his fingers, "and how she- How she didn't even recognize me... I just feel so... So small-"
Jonah reached forward, grabbing Leo's hands before he could peel another layer - judging by the state of his thumb, this new habit had already been causing damage - and tugged at his wrists, forcing Leo to uncurl and fall against him.
"I was crawling up the walls when you didn't text," Jon told him, smoothing Leo's hair back gently, "and then Luke did and I just... It was like the ground fell under me. I haven't been able to even think right until now-"
"I'm sorry," Leo sniffled, tearing up all over, "I wanted to, but-"
"No," Jonah glared at him, "I'm not mad at you, I'm saying this so you understand you're not small... I'm so so sorry about Amelia. I wish none of this had ever happened to you, I wish she wasn't in this town-"
Leo nodded, wiping angrily at his eyes and brushing away the tears clinging to his lashes, so Jonah continued, "but I need you to know whatever your brain is telling you about being small or unloved- It's not true. You're my whole damn world, Leo."
That did it and Leo's face scrunched up as he started to openly cry, throwing himself over Jonah, letting out a pained sob as Jon kissed his temple and chanted quietly, over and over, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
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Riku glances over at Sora and Kairi as he continues to build the raft, an uncertainty building in his throat. They were a group of three. So why did he feel out of the loop from those conversations? He calls them out, telling them to come over to help him, effectively ending whatever discussion they were having. He reassures himself that it isn't important.
Riku feels his heart thrum against his chest as he watches Sora banter with that duck and dog companion easily, as if they were always friends. Riku feels like an outsider. Replaced. What about Kairi? What about him? Maleficent tells him that Sora has replaced him. Sora has abandoned Kairi. Abadoned him. Riku turns away in frustration, hoping to turn it into an apathetic fire.
Riku sees Sora and Kairi after a long year of hiding and covers his face, puts up his hood, and runs. He cannot bear to join them because how could he? The shame eats away at him. It overcomes his desire to squeeze himself in their space. To take in their warmth and bask in it.
Kairi easily befriends two boys named Sora and Riku, but she cannot help but feel like she had stepped in between something pre-established, a norm. She watches them play with swords and bring up a joke only they know. Even though they always try their best to make her feel involved—a trio, not a duo and a plus one—she can't entirely destroy the unease in her gut.
Kairi feels a sense of distance. Those two keep on running on ahead without her, telling her to wait, to stay put. She doesn't want to do that anymore. She misses Sora's brown hair—something that had only (finally) become clear in her mind just recently. She misses Riku's smug and reliable grin. Why do they keep moving forward while she has to stay behind?
Kairi has finally gained the means to be of help, to finally fight by their sides. But Sora and Riku like slipping through her fingers like water droplets from the sink. Sora does that same smile that's supposed to bring a sense of joy, but it only fills her with grief. Riku uses that worried tone that's supposed to be endearing, but it only makes her feel resigned. How much longer?
Sora thinks of himself as less than cool when it comes to his best friends, Riku and Kairi. He's always felt that way. Riku—strong, cool, apparently the Keyblade's Chosen One. Kairi—kind, determined, apparently a Princess of Heart. He's apparently proven himself, but he still feels smaller than them.
Sora finds a vague sensation of desparation that gives him déjà vu as Riku and Kairi keep disappearing on him. One lead shifts into the disappearance of the other. He's made to ask, kneel and beg for any clues. He feels that he's always chasing. They keep being just out of reach.
Sora is at the end of his wits. Despite the clear sky and sea, he's only a torrent of loss and failure. A missed hand, a last stand—it fills him with a sorrow so heavy that he feels a familiar weight on his heart. He brushes it off because he can't be destroyed by it again. Sora brushes his pants and stands up because things are really hopeless without them. Riku and Kairi had called him strong, but he thinks that they're much stronger. They're the key to ending this once and for all.
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