#Mac just idles like this in my game...(I think it might be because of Liga my Companions)

[atombonniebaby]

Hey...I'm still here...FO4 just has my undivided attention right now...🙌🏻🙌🏻

Mac goes and does this today...

Macready: What was this place for… storytime or something?

MacCready: Hi, I'm MacCready... Been drinking since I was six. Never looked back

I'm playing through chapter 3 of Sim Settlements 2, and Mac keeps finding the idle animation markers!

Here...have some "Mac does randoms stuff and I love him for it." snaps that I've wrangled up some words for!(I've also been trying to find a use for that one pic where Mac is getting scolded by his dads...)

Nate: Right ye sticky fingered wee bam...I'm down 3 bottles eh Whiskey, and Jacob here's been tellin' me a third eh the budget seems to have mistakenly been spent on cigarettes...now I know geein' ye a talkin' tae won't do didly squat... MacCready: Get to the point, boss...I got stuff to do! Nate:Okay...nae need to get crabbit...especially when there's a bunch eh caps at stake here... MacCready: Bunch of caps, huh? Okay, hotshot. Spill it... Nate: Aye...I thought that might tickle your fancy...so, how's about a wee wager? One week without a dram or a smoke passin through that smart mouth eh yours and there'll be a tidy sum at the end for ye? MacCready: A'right old man... name your price? Nate: 500 caps... and Jake's gonna lay aff the coffee...he'll pocket another 50 for every day he cannae hack it... Jake: Woah...woah...Now... hold on a dang minute, Slick! I never... Nate: Ye no remember? I said I'd move Aiden to another floor? As far away from ye as possible? Jake: Oh...oh, yeah! Now I remember...One week...whaddya say, son? MacCready: Oh man, I love the sound a pile of caps makes.

MacCready finds a few ways to keep busy...

The time flies ...

MacCready: The only thing better than getting a bunch of caps is spending a bunch of caps.

Nate gets another week before it's back to the 'phantom cigarette pose' and daily repetitions of...

"Man, I could really use a cigarette."

[this-is-fox-speaking]

FANTOCCIO FACTS POST (from screenshots i found in my own interests server)

- His name is italian for puppet, but he pronounces it incorrectly and insists it’s the correct way to say his name if anyone else points it out and says he’s wrong.

- He’s not from Italy, obviously. Goes to show. But Ash imagines he knows a bit of italian. (“Not enough Italian to say his name right.” - Katie.)

- Fantoccio has a pet shark named Sharkspeare! Mentioned in the song at the line “‘Cause Sharkspeare’s looking mean!”

- Fantoccio has to make all his own props, set pieces, clothes, etc in the theatre.

- Would never smoke, and would hate being around it/people who’re doing it actively.

- Fantoccio was made by Ash as a fan OC for the game, and this (as far as I’m aware) is what got them hired onto the game, cause Katie loved their ideas so much.

- Fantoccio is not very good with kids.

- Fantoccio’s favorite food is churros. This came from the fact Ash once had a dream about him infodumping about them cause he loved them so much, so they made it canon.

- Don’t worry, he can indeed taste things normally. No traditional taste buds, but some, nonetheless. Same goes for touch!

- Fantoccio is canonically autistic, having many traits of himself heavily projected from Ash, themself.

- When asked what his meltdown triggers could be, Ash thought that some might be: too much touching, being without his hat, or one of his props breaking.

- Fantoccio likes wearing dresses! Wears them if he feels like it or if the role calls for it, during a play.

- Ash thinks he’d ADORE snow.

- Fantoccio would 100% love spicy italian from subway.

- Fantoccio plays violin!

- Fantoccio would chant “I’m sleeping” when struggling to fall asleep, like his own version of counting sheep.

- He would NEVER say the Earth is flat.

- He’d be the “How do you do that” of that one keysmash meme, if paired with Barnaby.

- Ash once said that Fantoccio is like Duck from Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared.

- When doing a personality type test (and actually answering truthfully instead of in character) for Fantoccio, he ended up with ENTJ-T, Commander. Fanto would answer untruthfully on some questions, like if he ever gets insecure (“PFFFT NO THE ANSWERS NO”).

- He can go uwu in the bbu lore, but he’ll hate it. (“THIS IS STUPID!!!”)

- Fantoccio would apparently be a “mac and cheese FIEND.”

- He’d hate pranks (specifically a hand zapper in this case), because they’re unexpected. (“NEVER DO THAT AGAIN”)

- This also means he’d never troll anyone, cause he feels above that.

- Fanto would HATE hearing people crack their knuckles, like Ash does.

- Fantoccio loves to carve wood. Specifically only by hand, that’s how much he loves it! He carved the two giant wooden hands used in his battle, but his favorite thing to carve is ducks.

- Fantoccio is very intent on ONLY eating the few foods he knows he likes.

- If he were an ice cream, he’d be coffee flavor! Which is ironic, because Ash has also said that it’d probably be terrible to give Fantoccio caffeine.

- Fantoccio would LOVE chicken nuggets.

- Hates pizza, though. Too greasy and messy.

- Would enjoy having an ipad “a little too much. He would be super confused at first but once he learns how to use it DO NOT TAKE IT AWAY”. (kinda like Peridot from Steven Universe)

- He would like spruce wood in Minecraft, but also acacia “just to look at.”

- Ash adores pirates, so so does Fantoccio!

- He has no nose, so no sneezes!

- Appreciates detail as much as Barnaby does.

- Fanto would love birds!

- Fanto is not capable of curse words. Sad.

- Fantoccio would COLLAPSE trying to lift someone without his powers.

- He stims by patting his face and spinning around. Fidgets with his hands in concepts for his standing idle animations, because he’s uncomfortable with standing and prefers floating.

- He’d favor Murder Mystery!

- His wood is alive and can grow like a real boy! (if you’ve seen my post being reblogged around, lol)

- He lives in the lost city of magic, which is abandoned and overrun my magical zombies who used to be magic users, now with a terrible curse. So he lives mainly in his theatre. He’s not trapped, anymore, like his old story!

- Fantoccio’s powers are based around telekinesis and teleportation. It’s how he moves his body around!

- He used to have a plush toy rabbit he carried around, when he was younger, seemingly. It’s unclear where that went, when he got older.

- Fantoccio’s been locked up in this city for 15 years, since he was 8. Completely isolated (save for those zombies, I suppose)! When Billie comes along, though, he’s so excited to have something new to play with!

- Fanto’s song is inspired by Weird Al. Like 90% of this game is, of course /lh. He was also inspired by the pied piper!

- He’d dislike the idea of seafood. (“He’d be like “Why would anyone want to eat a fish?!” And cover Sharkspeare’s nonexistent ears like “Don’t listen to them!””)

- The red feather in his hat is also used as a pen!

- Fantoccio is a being of pure magic, having an entire magic gem be his whole life source. This means he can use magic endlessly without getting tired (I believe)!

- Fantoccio is 23, he/him, and pansexual.

- His face is made using magic. It disappears when/if he’s magic-less.

- Fantoccio can absolutely feel pain.

- When it comes to nature, Ash said he’d kinda be like Rarity from MLP:FiM, but certain kinds of nature he’d still really love. He’d really dislike walking through the wild or camping in general, but loves things like snow or flower fields. Just depends!

- Fantoccio would main Bowser in Mario Kart.

-In terms of favorite Halloween treats, Fantoccio would like anything chewy and fruity (no chocolate)!

- Canonically wears eyeliner.

- Magic sparks from his fingertips when he’s very excited!

- If Fantoccio was an animal, Ash says he’d be a cat.

- No traditional gross human stuff inside him like others, just wood and sap. “Whatever trees do.”

- His original concept by Ash was him having a purple phantom head, being a ghost in a puppet’s body. This was changed by Katie, I believe.

(feel free to add on if I missed anything! i’ll edit this post if i randomly remember something)

[valleyfthdolls]

I am literally about to copy paste an entire post into your inbox again, cuz I am so normal about this silly game, an' this dumbass puppet-

- His name is italian for puppet, but he pronounces it incorrectly and insists it’s the correct way to say his name if anyone else points it out and says he’s wrong.

- He’s not from Italy, obviously. Goes to show. But Ash imagines he knows a bit of italian. (“Not enough Italian to say his name right.” - Katie.)

- Fantoccio has a pet shark named Sharkspeare! Mentioned in the song at the line “‘Cause Sharkspeare’s looking mean!”

- Fantoccio has to make all his own props, set pieces, clothes, etc in the theatre.

- Would never smoke, and would hate being around it/people who’re doing it actively.

- Fantoccio was made by Ash as a fan OC for the game, and this (as far as I’m aware) is what got them hired onto the game, cause Katie loved their ideas so much.

- Fantoccio is not very good with kids.

- Fantoccio’s favorite food is churros. This came from the fact Ash once had a dream about him infodumping about them cause he loved them so much, so they made it canon.

- Don’t worry, he can indeed taste things normally. No traditional taste buds, but some, nonetheless. Same goes for touch!

- Fantoccio is canonically autistic, having many traits of himself heavily projected from Ash, themself.

- When asked what his meltdown triggers could be, Ash thought that some might be: too much touching, being without his hat, or one of his props breaking.

- Fantoccio likes wearing dresses! Wears them if he feels like it or if the role calls for it, during a play.

- Ash thinks he’d ADORE snow.

- Fantoccio would 100% love spicy italian from subway.

- Fantoccio plays violin!

- Fantoccio would chant “I’m sleeping” when struggling to fall asleep, like his own version of counting sheep.

- He would NEVER say the Earth is flat.

- He’d be the “How do you do that” of that one keysmash meme, if paired with Barnaby.

- Ash once said that Fantoccio is like Duck from Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared.

- When doing a personality type test (and actually answering truthfully instead of in character) for Fantoccio, he ended up with ENTJ-T, Commander. Fanto would answer untruthfully on some questions, like if he ever gets insecure (“PFFFT NO THE ANSWERS NO”).

- He can go uwu in the bbu lore, but he’ll hate it. (“THIS IS STUPID!!!”)

- Fantoccio would apparently be a “mac and cheese FIEND.”

- He’d hate pranks (specifically a hand zapper in this case), because they’re unexpected. (“NEVER DO THAT AGAIN”)

- This also means he’d never troll anyone, cause he feels above that.

- Fanto would HATE hearing people crack their knuckles, like Ash does.

- Fantoccio loves to carve wood. Specifically only by hand, that’s how much he loves it! He carved the two giant wooden hands used in his battle, but his favorite thing to carve is ducks.

- Fantoccio is very intent on ONLY eating the few foods he knows he likes.

- If he were an ice cream, he’d be coffee flavor! Which is ironic, because Ash has also said that it’d probably be terrible to give Fantoccio caffeine.

- Fantoccio would LOVE chicken nuggets.

- Hates pizza, though. Too greasy and messy.

- Would enjoy having an ipad “a little too much. He would be super confused at first but once he learns how to use it DO NOT TAKE IT AWAY”. (kinda like Peridot from Steven Universe)

- He would like spruce wood in Minecraft, but also acacia “just to look at.”

- Ash adores pirates, so so does Fantoccio!

- He has no nose, so no sneezes!

- Appreciates detail as much as Barnaby does.

- Fanto would love birds!

- Fanto is not capable of curse words. Sad.

- Fantoccio would COLLAPSE trying to lift someone without his powers.

- He stims by patting his face and spinning around. Fidgets with his hands in concepts for his standing idle animations, because he’s uncomfortable with standing and prefers floating.

- He’d favor Murder Mystery!

- His wood is alive and can grow like a real boy! (if you’ve seen my post being reblogged around, lol)

- He lives in the lost city of magic, which is abandoned and overrun my magical zombies who used to be magic users, now with a terrible curse. So he lives mainly in his theatre. He’s not trapped, anymore, like his old story!

- Fantoccio’s powers are based around telekinesis and teleportation. It’s how he moves his body around!

- He used to have a plush toy rabbit he carried around, when he was younger, seemingly. It’s unclear where that went, when he got older.

- Fantoccio’s been locked up in this city for 15 years, since he was 8. Completely isolated (save for those zombies, I suppose)! When Billie comes along, though, he’s so excited to have something new to play with!

- Fanto’s song is inspired by Weird Al. Like 90% of this game is, of course /lh. He was also inspired by the pied piper!

- He’d dislike the idea of seafood. (“He’d be like “Why would anyone want to eat a fish?!” And cover Sharkspeare’s nonexistent ears like “Don’t listen to them!””)

- The red feather in his hat is also used as a pen!

- Fantoccio is a being of pure magic, having an entire magic gem be his whole life source. This means he can use magic endlessly without getting tired (I believe)!

- Fantoccio is 23, he/him, and pansexual.

- His face is made using magic. It disappears when/if he’s magic-less.

- Fantoccio can absolutely feel pain.

- When it comes to nature, Ash said he’d kinda be like Rarity from MLP:FiM, but certain kinds of nature he’d still really love. He’d really dislike walking through the wild or camping in general, but loves things like snow or flower fields. Just depends!

- Fantoccio would main Bowser in Mario Kart.

-In terms of favorite Halloween treats, Fantoccio would like anything chewy and fruity (no chocolate)!

- Canonically wears eyeliner.

- Magic sparks from his fingertips when he’s very excited!

- If Fantoccio was an animal, Ash says he’d be a cat.

- No traditional gross human stuff inside him like others, just wood and sap. “Whatever trees do.”

- His original concept by Ash was him having a purple phantom head, being a ghost in a puppet’s body. This was changed by Katie, I believe.

Anyways I'm so normal about him-

OHHHHHH THIS IS SO COOOL FANTOCCIO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

[the-firebird69]

It seems that the foreigners have picked up on the Bullock code pretty good and the max have a code too and they're using the money it's not going that great so they want the other money and mac daddy said it once it's kind of a foolish thing I guess you do stuff but the phone is nobody and the foreigners know about it and they want to use it against the max like they did use the warlock money and code and it is a decision they made and trying to get it together to use it and the max aren't in the way but these idiots are and it's a matter of time before someone figures it out I mean it's been out there forever the max don't seem to care but they've run it like this forever and the problem with it is that they use money like checks to find people and they try and find us with it it's not really that easy it doesn't work that great but you have to wash it now there's a few problems with what's going on that much it's not a foolproof system I guess people in trouble it's a hard thing to use they want to hold the money off him and use it for tech for protection and it would probably work with certain money would but it's not the greatest but it's one of only a few things that they value so they're going ahead with it and artifacts and they want to grab those like Trump is trying for the crown jewels to put in a ship kidnapper son and so on and it's a nuisance but really it's game and it's good but it's not worth as much as people put into it and these people are spoiled but this is going to save us really it's going to save us from a lot of heartache and it's nice. So we have that going there's also a lot of other things happening right now and it's global and it's very huge it should not be underestimated

-the war against the shield chips is intensifying the morlock are adding troops hourly and increasing shielding and using different shielding systems such as found on ships and it is intense to watch there's a lot of lights and beams and it is also extremely gross so many die I have never seen so many people die in my life and our son and daughter were right this way too many I counted them one day and got scared and he said a few things and I felt a little better and then I felt a lot better and I do see what he's saying they're vulgar okay it's hard to threaten them to do anything and I've had enough of that. they are going away. It takes a bunch of work but it's not that hard it's like climbing a mountain you just keep going sometimes you have to pull one along with you. Right now it's going on all over the world that they are seeking these morlok.

-we're going to teach John remillard a lesson that's going to happen and yeah they're much worse than Dracula who is actually azog much worse he kind of works with you a little not much we don't work with you at all and there's even more than other things so you don't know about it and we're going to horrify you you little s*** it's a little bit worse than a spider people say it too they're terrified when they see them

-and there are the main conflicts and we're going to go through them because there's some changes. The planetoids are showing signs of weakening. And they are diminishing and that they are running out of clones and a few things might happen our son and daughter say the Tommy f flerts might try and replenish. But we think that that's going to sit idle after time that actually it does happen a little and a few other things happen a little and then it's them sitting there but right now the clones are not cloning fast enough and they can't train people and they're not using tech on them and it will be over they are cut down to 25% on each planetoid

-the second one in order of magnitude the number of troops involved is the tap Root mega ship war and it is gigantic there's a huge amount of troops going up there from morlock areas and the recruiting, door to door how's the house and they're getting anybody who's able-bodied people are sick and firm can stay and they say that they want them to maintain the place and they're getting shape and they hand them their stuff and they start working right away and it's going on. Is a massive war and they're calling up all the reserves and everybody who is able-bodied yeah and they're getting them together and you're telling them what to do and they hand them uniforms and move them out and it's really crude and terrifying and we hate them and the max hate them too they're wasting time and they're buffer and our friends said it they said and yeah this is us winning so they sort of get it and tommy Allen says this is what we can do.

-the other battle or War as it were is with morlock other than here is there yes and that huge one is Australia and they are losing huge numbers there and it is the clones down below and they're getting significantly smaller they're taking special out and it's down below this huge cavern and it was there before no it's gigantic cuz they're minding your radium and it's for their ships

-and as a part of this war people don't believe it but it is occurring they think it is the clones the war in the upper part of the Midwest or middle areas and upper Midwest at night it's terrifying there's huge noises and earthquakes and massive amounts of fighting explosions and huge noises that sound terrifying and they think they're using big ships and those have been seen and the shields are coming down of Stan and that's leading into another War that's happening specifically tonight these are heating up in a big way in the Western hemisphere in the east going to their areas of influence and bases and trying to rear and rebuild and it will be one of the last times they do and Tommy Allen is saying drop it and try and get something worth something you're saying these things don't work too well for him let him take the hit and because they're divided it's not going to do much this war is fairly big and the upper Midwest gets embroiled crack and do go up there now it's going to be cracking and Galactus and more the eternals they're going up there it's a gigantic group and people think it's Tommy f and they fight fiercely and tons of people will be dead tonight up there it's going to be one of the biggest if not the biggest in their percentage is going down it was around 18 today this morning and now it's about 17% of the entire population and that's just the morlock where is the clones are about 16% on top they're separate but they're going down at the same rate tonight we think 2% or 3% lost on both sides.

-and there are several other battles going on we touched on one it is Stan and he is losing the Western hemisphere to the molar but however the warlocks took about 300 ships of size about 400,000 ships total but Stan only has about 8 million left 10 million or so and his bases are under assault he's about 10 bases left and they're half gone each one is 50% operational and they're attacking with a lot of force to take the shields down and to take the shield chips and to use them anyone to interrupt things and steal things and they are not doing a great job they take the ships and they lose them pretty quick there is another group that is fighting Stan no Santa's getting some help and unlikely source foreign minority molok and I hate these guys and some women can't stand them anymore and you're welcome they have mixed marriages a lot of them. He's losing a lot of ships and he's losing a lot of territory all over Earth and he is not very happy and this month will kind of rough but he's not going to be that tough it's a horrible horrible time his people are very aggravated to come in here and they clear out a bunch of them and they can't keep them out and they can't keep him out somewhere else and it's horrifyingly bad so we're going to begin our salt on the warlock and others tonight and it's going to be large scale. He sees Dan Harmon a gasoline tractor trailer and we see it too and we are putting alerts out and we're going to kick them out of them and the reason that he's doing that is to attack people and certain individuals and use it as cover he's trying to do it while the movie is going on but we do understand that there are problems with it and that he's found out but we have to stop him so we can't do a large scale but there are things that are dangerous about it but he actually has to try and destroy Terminator and he puts Dynamite into a tractor trailer and it doesn't work and he is noticed by Tommy F and finally for his efforts this movie is what leads to him being sought out by terminators and they're just trying to exterminate him him in particular and he does have he does get him killed he does have him killed and he does put his father into a lizard man and has him killed yes and by then that's right dance Obi-Wan Kenobi for a Time after Stan goes to the museum it's coming up pretty quick once Stan is depowered

-there's a couple of other actions that the morlock are taking place in and one of them is to try and attack the United States it's a smaller group but it's very big in number it's about 30 trillion still and it's with heavily armed ships and a fleet that is designed to try and break a hole through the shield and they're going to be in trouble they didn't make enough and it's known that it might not work but they're going to try it they're going to try and fire everything they got too while they're charging and then ram and it's going on shortly I've these things are happening and it's really not stupid it's just not big enough our son and daughter say it's terrific that's an idea that's what you do against blockades and they thought you'd be more of a past instead target practice and they're actually getting a little smug about it now so it seems like and black kids usually get taken down because they get it's really bizarre. The fleet will be here around 2:00 a.m. and they plan to attack at that time and we'll have to inform you of the staff at that time

-and several of these battles have changed in their attitude and formulation the planetoids the clones are now depleted they're 20% in shrinking fast and the more like I'm pouring it on the tap Root they are increasing their forces dramatically I was not much of an effect ive force is what we say. The war in the upper Midwest is getting very big and the difference there is that the kraken in other monsters are ripping out everything the area will be deemed a waste of time you're fighting over ships and they get some and it's going on all the time and the shield will come down fairly soon we think maybe even this evening and that is new too to that area but really the increase in amplitude in that area is what's to point out the magnitude is not increasing much. The Warren Australia is increasing in amplitude and magnitude it's all over the surface and it's all down below and they're calling for reinforcements and Big Time tons of them and New Zealand is now experiencing it and it's below and it is in the cavern and they did find the clones and they're having a war and they've lost the trumpsters have lost 10% since early this afternoon and when they found them. The only other thing to mention is that the attacking force is using special and distraction and they're trying to get response to do things more so where is it just trying this lazy attack without doing much and it's more than four or five pronged it's going to be like nine points plus internal distraction and diffusion and they are rigging things and it's going on.…this movie with Lily and Samuel l Jackson does not occur until a few days but he's testing the methadone and tons of people are going after him for what he's doing.

-mostly they're all intensifying but greatly and it is becoming a very large War between the Bullock and the clones. And others are involved and are taking residual damage and the warlocks don't seem to be capable or competent and that's and that's noted and the sun says that once those go up others will have to address and be more difficult but that's what's going to be going on the more I could probably going to be gone and we did plan on it for us and I'm fighting and makes a nasty mess and they do become kind of stupid

There's a lot to say so we're going to publish

Thor Freya

Olympus

Thank God he's on our side no really my husband was kicking ass and Thor Freya are too big time going to publish now and we'll show you what we mean

Hera

Zues

[ceilingfan5]

hi hello i’m moving out of my childhood home tomorrow and i’m feeling a lot. is there any way you could write something sweet with any pairing? perhaps with the fake marriage/childhood best friends prompt?? : )

(i hope this is sweet enough to soothe you!)

Kravitz sits cross-legged on the floor of their apartment balcony and closes his eyes, trying to let the cool night air soothe his nerves and ending up tangled in knots anyway. This whole thing has been a mess, a disaster, but also the best part of his life so far. He’s wanted to be married to Taako since sixth grade, and in a monkey’s paw sort of way, he’s gotten that dream come true. But it’s a farce, a scam, and worst of all, it’s coming to an end.

“Good news,” Taako had said, facing away from him and making mac and cheese from scratch for dinner, because he’s incredible and talented and amazing and so, so good to Kravitz. “Since we’re both graduating, we can get ‘divorced’. We don’t need to pretend for the benefits anymore. Things can go back to normal.”

No offence to Taako’s mac and cheese, but Kravitz couldn’t hold it down.

He doesn’t want to go back to normal. He’s treasured every kiss, every embrace, every moment they stole to hold hands for their audience of people that could report their fraud. That night they had to share a bed in the hotel? Kravitz still dreams about waking up with his arms around Taako’s middle, how warm he was, how he unconsciously tucked himself back into Kravitz’s embrace when he moved. And this is over? Kravitz almost feels like their friendship is ending, and that’s enough to make him nauseous again.

The problem is, he loves Taako. He’s loved Taako for most of his life. And Taako just thinks he wants to be friends. Good news. He almost wants to fail on purpose so he can’t graduate, so they have to stay together, but that would be patently insane. There’s no possible course of action here. He’s going to have to get divorced from his best friend, and pick up the pieces of whatever there is left to go back to.

The balcony door slides open, and Kravitz startles, opening his eyes. He’d been sure Taako was deep in studying for a quiz before he got out of bed to come out here. He’d thought it would take longer.

“Hey,” Taako says, uncharacteristically soft. Actually, soft in the way pretty much only Kravitz has ever gotten to see, which makes it even worse. “You still feeling rough?”

Kravitz swallows and glances at him.

“How did you know-”

“It’s a cheap apartment, the walls are thin.” Taako sits next to him, splaying his long legs out. His knee bumps Kravitz’s leg, and it’s bizarrely comforting, even now. “Do you think the milk was expired or something? Maybe you’re coming down with a bug? Stress? You get like that when you’re stressed sometimes.” He fidgets with his braid, unraveling it and retying it.

He doesn’t look at Kravitz.

“I...” Kravitz doesn’t know what to say, and the worst possible thing comes out of his mouth--the truth. “Taako, I… I don’t want to get divorced.”

Taako goes still next to Kravitz, which is absolutely bizarre. He’s like a character in a video game, always with some kind of idle animation.

“No?” His voice is even quieter now.

Kravitz shakes his head. He’s gone and done it now. May as well ruin everything forever.

“Do we have to? I...I don’t want to stop being married to you.”

“I thought...” Taako’s fidgeting starts again, but stuttering and stopping, not nearly so rhythmic as usual. Normally, that’s one of his favorite things about Taako. “I thought you’d want to just be friends again. You get this look on your face when we kiss sometimes like you’re in pain.”

“Because I want to kiss you for real,” Kravitz whispers. “I like you a lot, Taako. Fuck it, I love you, and I have loved you since we were kids. Even my moms know that. I- I mean I try to be subtle about it, but I don’t know how you could possibly miss how head-over-heels I’ve been for you all this time.” Kravitz takes a shaky breath.

“Shit,” Taako says, and he brushes his bangs back and laughs. “You love me?”

Kravitz’s heart sinks like the paper boats they tried to float on the river every year of elementary school together.

“Of course I do. I don’t know how I couldn’t.”

“Now I feel pretty stupid.” Taako reaches for his hand and squeezes it tightly. “I’ve been in love with you since we picnicked under the stars right before my auntie died.”

Kravitz’s heart fully stops.

“Taako, that was in fourth grade!”

“Yeah,” Taako laughs, but when Kravitz finally turns to see his face, he’s crying. His tears glitter in the moonlight like they’re full of magic, and for the fiftieth time and the first time, Kravitz leans over and kisses him. It lasts only seconds, an eternity, and it feels so right in the way all those others never did. It feels real. Kravitz finally pulls away to breathe, and Taako rests his head on Kravitz’s shoulder, tucking so neatly against him like they were made for each other.

“I guess this is why all those people kept saying finally when we got hitched.”

“We might be stupid.” Taako kisses his cheek, and then tucks himself close again, and Kravitz wraps his arms around him and holds him, for the millionth time, for the first time. It feels as natural as breathing. “Guess we’re meant for each other.”

“I never did get the hang of dating,” Kravitz admits. “I only did it because I hated watching you with your boyfriends.”

Taako snickers.

“I’m sorry, that was kind of cruel of me. I thought maybe...” He clears his throat. “I thought maybe if you got jealous enough, you would do something about it.”

“Well, I’m doing something about it.” Kravitz kisses his head. “D’you wanna get married for real, even though for legal purposes we are already a wedded union?”

“Shucks,” Taako says cheesily, even though he’s crying again. “Thought you’d never ask.”

[noneatnonedotcom]

The Enemy Above

Onboard the VCS Wicker Man a young huntsman sat, beside him, the crew of the ship hurried about their jobs. The previous captain, having suffered a wound in a recent skirmish with atlas, was missing leaving jaune in charge of the bridge and the team of huntresses down below. 

Team ABRY or ambry as they were known, had been formed in battle. The white fang had assaulted the dust stores used for the ships in Vale. Only a timely intervention by blake (their resident secret faunas who wasn’t so secret to jaune) had seen the scheme thwarted. And only the assistance of yang and ruby had let him actually pull off his plan to stop them.

After that, he’d claimed blake as a fellow hunter and ozpin had shown up to back his claim (a good thing too as a faunas outside of menagerie was unheard of and would have resulted in her getting jailed alongside her former comrades, it likely would have been death for her and they both knew it) the only cost for the assist was that their new team become permanent. They’d done more missions in their time as huntsmen-in-training of vale than most adults and with the war between atlas and vale heating up had been stationed on a frigate to hopefully stay out of trouble. The betrayal of team CVFY and the revelation of velvet to be a faunas had quickly put the kibosh on that.

Now having had the ship repaired they were returning to vale proper to get their new captain to work in concert with jaune.

“Sir Arc,” came a voice to his side “we’re picking up something strange on the radar”

He looked over at the crewman “what kind of something?”

“It looks like another ship”

Jaune frowned, he wasn’t sure they could handle another fight “have there been any reports around this route before?”

“No sir no reports”

Jaune frowned “none at all?”

An older crewman came over to look “ah, the kids just picked up a radar reflection, see there? The other ship is copying our exact speed and turning” the older woman looked to jaune “nothing to worry about Sir Arc”

Jaune frowned more, he could feel it in his gut something wasn’t right. And after the last few times, he wasn’t willing to risk it just being a feeling. He touched a button and called down to his team “ruby, yang, blake, report to the bridge immediately. Weapons with you. And pick up my armor as well, would you?”

It was yang’s voice that came over the line “feeling fancy captain? You want the cape with it?”

“I’m not a captain yang, and yeah I got the feeling I’m gonna have to make an impression here” he sighed as she signed off “helmsman alter our course a little, bring us close to that peak into cloud bank”

“Aye sir” came the voice and jaune went to the ready room, trying desperately to suppress the feeling of dread he felt 

Onboard the AS Anguilla, a young Weiss Schnee stalked her prey. She was young the youngest specialist in the Atlan naval core but she was the best, second only to perhaps her older sister winter. 

Some whispered of buying her station at the start of the war but she had shown through her victories that they were simply idle chatter of the lesser classes. She was the best of the best. And that was why she had to question the point of sending her after this Jaune Arc.

Yes, he was just as young as her and still in a command position but the valeian savages didn’t have their own robust command structure. He likely had no real tactical training and no further support. If there was any advantage to the lance doctrine of vale it was that it was utterly chaotic and the brutes seemed to thrive on that.

His ship was a standard ship of the primitive people, a frigate class. Though she noticed the above standard set of three five-inch guns of a strange make on the deck of the ship. It was a gravity dust forged hull, with hard light dust forged armor plating, it was faster than her own cruiser but her own weapons were something to behold. 

Nine eight-inch-guns, and ten smaller 5-inch guns of her own. Her hull was also made of gravity dust forged steel and her armor was a true hard light shield an advancement that had seen her ship through combat action after combat action. Her heavy cruiser was also equipped with a heavy MAC cannon. Something that was more than enough to see her through taking vale itself. For what ship or station could hope to survive a ball of molten plasma the size of a small ship fired at it?

Yes, this would be a simple mission and she would go home to her sister with just another feather in her cap.

“Okay so let’s assume you’re not going insane,” said blake sitting on a chair as ruby and yang helped their leader into his armor “why the cloud bank, all they have to do is wait for us to break out of it when we run they can just go above it. At least for a short while”

“And if it’s as big as you say,” said ruby grunting to latch a final strap “even out coil guns aren’t gonna do much”

“We have a couple of tungsten rounds left from our fight with CFVY,” said yang

“So… we’ll be able to hurt them a little before we blow up?”

“We can’t outrun them,” said jaune “we’re faster but the range they have would mean we’re gonna be full of holes before we can even get a radio signal out”

“We still don’t know they’re there,” said blake “there are no reports of anything being wrong around here”

“Exactly,” said jaune latching his cape onto his armor “we’ve got no reports, none! When was the last time you had a huntsman not complain about lack of combat? Or even Grimm?”

Blake’s eyes widened “oh shit, and you’re saying it has to be a big ship because-”

“ a small ship wouldn’t be able to destroy a cruiser before they could radio out for help,” said ruby

“And a ship without reach wouldn’t be able to stop the smaller ones,” said jaune nodding his head

Yang blew a strand of hair out of her face “this is why I prefer fighting on the ground, less thinking involved”

Jaune laughed “that’s typically because I’m too busy screaming to come up with a plan”

Ruby smiled “but you always look out for us”

Blake nodded “it might still be nothing,” she said closing her book “but I’m more than willing to trust your judgment”

Yang cracked her knuckles “so what’s the plan?”

“We go into the cloud bank, they’ll have t follow us because they’re trying to convince us they’re a radar reflection. We jam the radar once we’re in”

“We’ll be blind then,” said blake 

“But we still have that weather device thing installed, we’ll be able to see them based on cloud displacement,” said jaune with a smirk

“And they’re big enough that we’ll actually pick up on it unlike us who will look like an eddy in the wind if they’re even carrying meteorological equipment” blake finished for him

“They should be,” said ruby “a ship that big would be a shame to lose it to something as simple as a summer storm”

“WE’VE LOST RADAR” came the shout of her crew 

Weiss cursed “clever bastard, had us figured from the start, well you can’t hide for” she froze he wouldn’t be hiding, he was a smart enough commander to know she was chasing him  “ALL HANDS BRACE FOR IMPACT, SHIELDS UP! HELMSMAN GET US OUT OF THIS CLOUD BANK!” she shouted orders at a rapid rate barely getting her ship’s shields up in time to block five of the six rounds. The first somehow tearing through her hull like tissue paper.

“FIND HIM!” she shouted as her crew scrambled to get their other systems working “DAMAGE REPORT!” 

“HULL BREACH ON LEVEL FOUR. CIRCUITRY WAS HIT BUT AUXILIARY SYSTEMS ARE FINE. HE MISSED OUR WEAPONS AND ENGINES BY A FEW INCHES WE WERE LUCKY MA’AM” came the voice of penny hooked into their intercoms

“HOW LONG TILL WE’RE COMBAT READY?” asked Weiss shouting to be heard over the alarms

“WEAPONS ARE ONLINE, FUEL FOR SHIELDS IS LOW. WE’VE LOST THE ABILITY FOR A DRAWN OUT ENGAGEMENT MA’AM. I RECOMMEND RETREAT HE’S BEATEN US”

“NOT YET HE HASN’T!”  shouted Weiss “HOW MANY EDDIES DO WE SEE?”

“WHAT?”  asked a crewman

“HOW MANY!”

“SIX”

“FIRE ON ALL OF THEM!”

Jaune cursed as dust rounds flew past his ship exploding and tossing them about. She didn’t know where they were but she was just going to fire on every eddy. And eventually, she’d hit them, what was her game? She wouldn’t panic unless! “Full astern!” he shouted as the ship moved back rapidly not a second too soon as in the exact place he was before a massive light passed through the open-air scenting the air with ozone 

“OH FUCK!” shouted yang summing up everyone’s feelings on the matter

“WHAT WAS THAT?!” yelled blake covering her ears 

“JAUNE!” shouted ruby clinging too him

“Open fire and move us out of here, I want continuous fire! Not a second for them to get that ready. Use out light ammo we’re not getting through that shield!” he did his best to keep his voice level. Right now he needed to get distance. He just had to make it to nightfall but to do that he needed to prevent that weapon from firing and he was guessing that something like that required a lot of power. Maybe enough that they had to drop their shields to use it. If not…

Well, fuck it shooting it made them all feel better at least.

The gunbattle lasted hours as flashes lit up the clouds. The wicker man could fire and move but all it would take is one hit and they were toast more to the point the enemy ship had exited the clouds earlier and now the only reason he knew where the damn thing was was that it wanted him to shoot at it so it could shoot back, meanwhile unknown to the vale ship. The fuel for the shields was running low. The stockpile of hard light dust was not infinite and that initial shot had been plenty lucky but the constant firing gave her own crew a chance to catch them as the angle of impact gave them away. 

The sounds of battle faded with the setting of the sun as The Anguilla surveyed the cloud bank below it. 

“We’re out of hard light dust ma’am” came the words of Penny “I would recommend retreat”

“We run and he’ll gun us down,” said Weiss “the second we give away our position he’ll fire and now we don’t have the shields to protect us” she cursed her own temper. She just had to be the best. 

Now her crew’s blood was on her hands

“Our only hope,” she said raising her voice “ is to find them before they find us, and destroy them. I’m ordering complete silence”

She sat there, they sat there. For hours. Eight in total of complete silence. And in the first, she’d realized that jaune Arc had to be doing the same. It would be the one who blinked first that would lose. 

The tension was the worst part of it. The constant fear.

It was at the end of the eighth hour that she heard it

“MY BODY IS A CAGE OF FLAMES” came a voice in the darkness she sat stunned as the crew began to bring their guns about

“THE BURNING YET VERDANT GIANT!”  what was he doing?

“RETRIBUTION, A SHRINE THAT PRESIDES OVER HUMAN AFFAIRS AND PURIFIES THEM” had he lost his mind? Was the pressure just too much for him?

“I AM THE ONE WHO DESTROYS!” 

Weiss realised it too late “NO WAIT!”

Her men fired and the flash of her guns lit up an automated message buoy floating through the clouds

“THE WICKER MAN!” three sets of five-inch guns fired tungsten rounds from their electromagnetic barrels. 

Of course. That’s why he was able to pierce her hull so easily once he got past the shield

They tore through her ship hitting the engines. The force of the explosion knocked her out.

Her last thoughts were “he’s a sorcerer. Able to pull the very thoughts from my head”

Jaune stood overlooking his med bay, really it was the brig but they’d had to refurbish it for the crew they’d dragged from The Anguilla.

“This all of them?” he asked Ruby as she walked up behind him

“Yeah, only these ten, standard crew was three hundred and twenty-two”

Jaune tried not to let the number get to him “it’ll be worst for her” he said looking at the captain “I know the feeling”

“You did pretty well I’d say”

Jaune shook his head “I’m not made for this Ruby. That entire battle those men looked to me and…” they both fell silent

“What if I had made the wrong choice?” he asked in the quiet of the room

“Then we’d adapt,” said Ruby “we’re not like Atlas, we trust you jaune but we’re not helpless without you. If you made a mistake we’d have called you on it. Just like I’m doing now”

He turned to look at her only to catch a non plused look from Ruby  “you’re an idiot, jaune” she said in the stunned silence “you’re your own greatest critic and if we caught anyone talking about you the way you talk about yourself we’d kick their ass. You won today, against a ship you had no business winning against. They had you beat in firepower, tech, they had every advantage and a commander almost as good as you on top of it, and you pulled victory from the jaws of defeat. You saved us. Have some damn pride!”

He chuckled shaking his head “we’re taking a vacation the second we get back to vale”

“Oh can we visit patch?” asked ruby surprising jaune

“Yeah we really should check on the old man huh?” said yang appearing out of nowhere 

“Already taking him to meet your father huh? Asked blake with a teasing tone

“I-i- no it’s not, well I wouldn’t mind... The thing is” ruby flushed red and tried to force a sentence out 

“Eh captain here wants to give me or ruby a shot I wouldn’t mind,” said yang with a smirk. “or maybe you want us both, so greedy captain” a wink and Jaune let himself get caught up in the moment blushing and stammering.

When they got back to vale, he’d most likely get a bunch of medals or something. He’d be paraded around as a hero for all the little huntsmen in training and that would bring all sorts of troubles for his team and him but for now, he’d just bask in the comfort of yang ruby and blake all acting like they were flirting with him and pretend it might actually happen one day.

He had his team, that was all he needed

________________________________________________________________

so this was an experiment, please give my some feedback about it. but the general idea is that it’s based off the ideal huntsman system i speculated about a while back. it’s based off some space battles i watched way back when and i did my best with it. 

if you can guess which battle in particular i’m mimicking let me know too but seriously let me know what you thought of the story

[desparikon]

Murdoc/Mac + s4 distress

I really like the idea of The Merchant, Murdoc, and Helman all trapped in the black site together, but the lack of Murdoc’s screeching of ‘BFF Angus Visiting Someone Other Than Me?!?!’ was disappointing, so maybe Murdoc just...got bored and escaped.

(The Merchant is supposed to be in the black site, right? Because when Mac breaks Scarlett out, her cell looked the same, but it was in the Phoenix building. So just a case of reusing sets?)

Tonight wasn't going to be a good night.

Mac stared at the beer in his fridge. Was he really doing this? Riley and Desi had left maybe 15 minutes ago. Starting to drink now wasn’t an admission of fear of being alone with his thoughts; it was just taking advantage of the alone time.

No. No. Get involved with something else.

He shut the fridge and sighed, plodding back across the room, and up the stairs to the veranda. His many projects scattered about, in various stages of completion, mocked him. None of them were currently appealing, despite his fingers’ itch for activity. Why was he so often bored, yet could never focus long enough to see one through?

No time for idlness. The world needs saving.

Codex, the impending apocalypse, his aunt. He wanted to hate what they stood for, but deep down, admitted there was some logic to it. And he wanted the familial connection to have a solid place in the world. His dad, his mom’s good memory, his chance at any normal family members, gone. Jack, MIA. His friends wouldn’t be far behind, thanks to his growing indecisiveness and unreliability. Being alone hurt, but it was better to push them away before he burdened them with his feelings, his existence. Any deaths due to his failures already ate at him. Having any one of their deaths on him would literally kill him.

It was too heavy. His life was shattering into a million pieces, and all he could do was watch as the shards slipped through his fingers. He wanted to go back. Back to when every little thing didn't lead to catastrophe. Repairing one shard, at the expense of all the others. It was exhausting.

He couldn't fight the darkness. Not tonight. He was going to lock himself in his room, and drink as much of his hidden stash as possible. Since his brain insisted on lacking an off switch, he’d shut it down by force.

The exciting prospect of hard alcohol, and the warm, blanketing buzz it’d bring, lifted his mood. The fuzziness would come quick, and it’d be his little secret. No awkwardness. No prying. No ‘Mac, there were a dozen beers--’

The force from plowing into an unexpected obstacle jolted him into a backwards stumble.

“Attacking me already! I haven’t even done anything yet!”

“Murdoc.” His sudden appearance stunned Mac. All the time that’d passed without incident since Murdoc had escaped had left him secretly saddened that Murdoc had grown bored of him. Ironically, at a time when their worldviews were becoming closer aligned.

“Do you have to sound so disappointed?”

“I’m not disappointed, just...surprised. Thought you’d finally gotten tired of me.”

“Tired of you?” His slightly narrowed eyes and suspicious expression warned Mac that his indifferent front was failing. Murdoc was picking up on something.

Dammit! He had to be careful, and get this perfect; any sign of weakness, and Murdoc would discover everything (if he hadn’t already), and use that knowledge to give the one, final tap to destroy him.

What a waste of their cat and mouse games.

“I could never get tired of you, MacGyver. I—actually, more so you—have been busy.”

Mac retreated to the kitchen sink, hoping to find dishes, empty cans, anything, to distract him from Murdoc’s interpretation of the chaos his life had fallen into, but Murdoc followed, settling himself onto the counter.

“The Phoenix shutting down, forcing you into an ordinary life. Your genius being wasted on low-level teaching gigs. Painful. It’s a shame I wasn’t around to help.”

“I...survived.”

“As you do. But wait! From the ashes, Phoenix gets bought and reopened, returning to its former glory under new management! I love that! It’s beautiful. Gets you right here.” Murdoc patted a fist over his heart.

“You always manage to keep track of me.”

“I pride myself on being informed about your life.”

Mac rubbed the back of his neck, and shrugged his shoulders to prevent them from locking up further. Murdoc said all that so casually, like the whole time hadn’t been miserable, but most noticeable was the lack of mention about Codex or his dad’s death. Surely Murdoc still had enough connections to know of them, but maybe he didn’t realize Mac’s personal stake.

That’s what he needed. Someone who wasn’t involved in this whole train wreck. Murdoc had liked him when he’d been blinded by idealism. Maybe he’d like the new, damaged Mac. Even if he hadn’t been the cause.

“We’re besties, and I consider you and Team Phoenix to be my pet project. Speaking of, your new boss is interesting, kinda strange fit for The Phoenix, don’t you think? Can’t imagine him and Matilda get along too well. Now don’t get jealous, but I think I’d like to meet him.”

“Russ would just love that, as I’m sure the views through the cameras weren’t enough.”

“I know, I know. Everyone loves me, but I’m more impressive in person.” Murdoc directed an offended glare in his direction, “Don’t snort, Angus. You know it’s true.”

His confidence was undeterred by Mac’s knowing smile. “Also noticed that the newbie stuck around. Since she’s going to stay awhile, I think new introductions are in order.”

“Her fist to your face?”

“And Bozer made a movie! Good for him! I need to congratulate him. At his new place, since you have New Roomie Riley now. She’s too good for some tech shop. All of you. Too good for an ordinary life.”

“You’re full of compliments tonight.”

“While I wish they’d be used for better purposes, I’ve always appreciated the skills each of you have. ‘Cept when they’re being used to hunt me.”

Murdoc’s playful grin was infectious, almost making him forget that Murdoc could choose to be a threat whenever he got bored. Ugh, so cute. It was embarrassing how attractive he found Murdoc, even just physically.

“By the way, when’s she moving to Desiree’s? Seriously. Took them forever to leave. I was starting to think I’d have to sneak in through the rooftop portal in your room.”

Typical Murdoc, pleased to talk about stalking, and breaking and entering. The eagerness to talk to Mac hadn’t changed, and it made him smile, even as guilt began creeping in. He’d said terrible things to Murdoc, personal attacks that weren’t necessary, and at times when it’d been uncalled for. How long had he railed Murdoc when they’d gone to Colombia? And how could he forget how the viciousness he’d directed at Murdoc, even after he’d already surrendered to Phoenix’s custody? After everything, why did Murdoc still like him so much?

“When’s it my turn to be nosy?”

“You want to know more about me?! Ohmygosh, this is-- I’m going to cry.” Murdoc fake sniffled, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

“Two things?”  

“Shoot.”

“OK, how’d you escape?”

“A magician never reveals his secrets.”

Mac mirrored Murdoc’s smirk. “C’mon. Never? Even if it’d impress the audience?”

Murdoc smiled, despite a huff. “Is it more impressive that I didn’t plan it? Saw the opportunity, and took it. Improvised. Y’know, I think you’ve been a bigger influence on me than I realized.”

“Can you really call it an opportunity, though? Since you had to kill every other person in the building.”

“Oh, I can’t take credit for all that. Just Helman.”

“What? How…? You were the only survivor.”

Murdoc waved a dismissive hand at Mac’s bewilderedness, “I didn’t waste my time on the guards; they weren’t in my way. Everyone was too busy shooting each other, even before lights went out, or the “critical system failure”. This could come back to bite me, but you might want to tell your new boss to be a little more careful about who he hires in the future.”

Power failure? Infighting?

Codex. Could they have orchestrated Murdoc’s escape? Why? They’d never successfully recruit him, even if they demanded him to repaid a debt. And despite his thrill for violence, he wouldn’t be a good fit. He doesn’t get along with people, and definitely wouldn’t care for saving the world, or complying with a shadowy leader’s orders. Too chaotic, cynical, independent--

“What’s the second thing? Hopefully, something more interesting like, ‘The next time we team up…’”

“Why haven’t you taken Cassian?”

Murdoc’s hands curled around the edge of the counter, his knuckles paling from the force. “I don’t know where he is. With Matilda’s knack for hiding things, and your dad’s connections, it’s difficult. But it’s only a matter of time.”

“No.”

“Don’t worry, I know you don’t know. They bring him to you. Smart.”

“Lie! You’re lying! And at this point. You think I don’t – This is important! Murdoc!”

Mac didn’t bother to hide his aggravation. He’d speculated, and come to a conclusion that hit hard, especially now that he was dealing with the loss of his own dad. He needed to hear it from Murdoc, even if it was a confirmation.

“You should be happy! You said yourself that the best thing I could ever do was get away from him! What, you think I wasn’t listening?! To any of that?? You didn’t give me much choice.”

“I know!” Murdoc’s eyelids did that twitch of sadness that absolutely killed him. “I know.” Mac blinked against the tears welling up.

He couldn’t take it back, couldn’t take back the fact that he’d gone along with the punishment of taking away Cassian’s visits, effectively leading to the destruction of the only good thing in Murdoc’s life. And he’d taken Murdoc away from Cassian, who still loved his dad, had good memories of him, and happily talked about him.

Mac understood now, that he’d ruined everything.

“It wasn’t just what you said...I saw how happy he was, and realized that I’ll have to be happy with watching from afar.”

“For the rest of his life?”

“People like me don’t get a happy ending. I’ll always be running, hiding in the shadows, until the day I die. I did that. I trapped myself, and I’m not going to destroy Cassian’s life too.”

“But he needs you. You’re a part of him.”

“Does it make you feel better to have your dad back in your life after all this time? Because it doesn’t seem like it, judging by your rocky relationship. Is it worth it to have to say goodbye twice? Three times? Every single time it doesn’t work out?”

A few tears escaped down Mac’s face. "Every effort counts. Every minute counts! Even if you think he’ll hate you. Even if he says he hates you!! It. Doesn’t. Matter. You can’t get time back. Show him you care! Tell him the truth if he asks! Maybe he’ll say he wants nothing to do with you, but at least then, when you die, maybe he’ll have less questions and regrets. Don’t abandon him! Don’t leave him to wonder what--”

Mac fought to keep his voice steady around the lump in his throat. "—what would’ve happened if you’d come back sooner." He clapped a hand over his mouth to hide his quivering lip.

Don’t cry in front of Murdoc. Don’t cry in front of Murdoc. Don’t cry--

Mac hugged Murdoc, burying his face into Murdoc's shoulder to stifle his sobs. He couldn’t handle seeing Murdoc’s disappointment at his intellectual equal, his foil, his desired companion, broken and weak, and hanging all over him. Pathetic.

Murdoc’s arms hesitantly wrapped around him, and in the most sincere tone Mac had ever heard him use, whispered, “I’m sorry.”

[eleanor-writes-stuff]

be careful of the curse (that falls on young lovers) [iii/iii]

After a lifetime of being caught between the forces of good and evil, Ben Solo has developed one cardinal rule to maintain control over his own life: stay the fuck away from all things supernatural.

It’s a good strategy, one that works like a charm until the day he bumps into the devil herself.

The fact that she knows exactly who he is and what he’s running from makes things difficult. The fact that he’s ridiculously into her and they might be sort of, kind of dating? That makes things dangerous.

Part I | Part II | PART III: Ben’s Descent to the Underworld | Epilogue

Third and final chapter of my Halloween devil!Rey/mage!Ben fic! Will Rey and Ben find a solution to their conundrum? Will Ben be able to live with his decision? Will they live happily ever after in the Underworld? All this and more (a lot more, this chapter is 10k words, brace yourselves) below the cut!

Also available on AO3. Bonus backstory content here. Tumblr-only epilogue here.

she's got me so blind I can't see that she's a black magic woman and she's tryin' to make a devil outta me - Black Magic Woman, Fleetwood Mac

“Let’s just run away,” Ben suggests one morning, tracing idle circles into Rey’s lower back as the sun rises. It’s easier, sometimes, to entertain these outlandish scenarios than it is to grapple with the fact that even after a year of intensive research, he’s no closer to finding a viable solution than he was before. “We could leave it all behind, forget about the Force, move to a crowded mortal city where no one would ever find us…”

Rey shifts in his arms, folds her hands over his heart and rests her chin on top of her fingers. “Ben,” she sighs, the slightest hint of exasperation bleeding through. “You hate big cities.”

“I’d like them better if you were with me, I think,” he confesses easily, pictures the two of them in a tiny apartment overlooking a crowded city, space-saving charms on every available surface to house his books and her weapons; a home that’s entirely, seamlessly them.

“Besides,” Rey adds, never one to get caught up in impossible daydreams, “I can’t just leave. Who’d rule the Underworld? Who’d watch over my knights?”

Ben tries unsuccessfully to blow a piece of hair out of his face, and Rey just laughs after his third attempt, reaches up to brush the errant lock aside herself. “Does the Underworld even need ruling?” he asks, catches her hand before it can retreat and gently angles it so that he can press a kiss to her inner wrist. “I thought Darksiders thrive on chaos and disorder.”

Rey scoffs. “It’s all fun and games until a dispute goes on for two centuries with no end in sight because you don’t have any semblance of order or authority,” she explains. “The Underworld appreciates chaos, but even we don’t want to live in anarchy. Even that lawless cult land of your grandfather’s would happily welcome proper leadership.”

Proper leadership, as far as Mustafar is concerned, would mean nothing less than Ben succumbing to the curse his grandfather doomed him to and taking up Vader’s old mantle. Rey likes to remind him of that sometimes, to muse out loud how easy it’d be to unify the empire if he were by her side. It’s not a discussion he’d like to get into right now, so he quickly redirects the conversation before she can say something predictable.

“What about your knights? Can’t they look out for themselves?” he asks with a slight frown.

“The three of them together could probably take even me down,” Rey declares proudly before she goes on to lament, “but that won’t keep everyone else from calling them knock-offs and fakes.”

“Knock-off demons?” Ben echoes incredulously. “Since when are those a thing?”

Rey scowls, still resting on top of his chest. “They’re not,” she insists. “Sure, the knights were human when I found them, but I turned them into demons just like any other once they pledged their fealty to me. This shouldn’t even be an issue, especially not after all these decades.”

It’s clearly a sensitive topic, but Ben can’t help himself. “Sweetheart… you can’t just turn humans into demons.”

“Technically no, you can’t,” Rey concedes. “But once someone swears their allegiance to me I can do whatever I want, like extend their lifespans and imbue them with powers so that they’re demons in everything but blood. The rest of the Underworld is just pissed that I chose my own knights rather than picking from the noble houses.”

She admits to it so casually, making her knights long-lived and nearly invincible, as if that’s a common thing to do, as if that’s in any way an easy thing to do. In all his studies, Ben has only come across one instance of such a thing, when an ancestor of Rey’s fell for a mortal and tried her best to turn him into a worthy consort.

When her intended backed out at the last minute, too scared to go through with it after all, the jilted Queen killed him in a fit of rage and betrayal. It’s a depressingly common end for royal consorts in Rey’s family according to historical records, but the one time he found the nerve to broach the subject with her Rey had laughed her family’s messy love life off as a rumor and assured him that she would never hurt him.

“So without you around, you think they’ll–”

A sharp knock interrupts them, cuts into their peaceful early-morning silence with all the chilling precision of Rey’s knife-throwing. Ben tenses, and Rey immediately draws herself upright and growls at the open bedroom door, through which the front door is barely visible.

“I take it you weren’t expecting anyone?” she asks as the both of them get dressed, Ben pulling on last night’s tee shirt and sweatpants while Rey plucks a thick dressing robe of black velvet out of thin air. It’s a far cry from her usual morning attire – literally the shirt off Ben’s back, whenever he’s foolish enough to put one on – but then again, they’ve never had to deal with the possibility of someone tracking him down.

“Not at all,” Ben confirms as they both exit the bedroom, Rey taking the lead. He stops her in the living room with a hand around her wrist. “Stay here? Maybe it’s just someone asking for directions. Or one of those door-to-door salesmen.”

“I highly doubt even one of those people would be dedicated enough to trek all the way out here,” Rey frowns. “But okay, I’ll wait. The second something goes wrong though–”

“You can go all demon queen on them,” he assures her, leans in for a quick kiss before he proceeds to the front door alone. In all his years at Varykino, Ben has never once received a visitor. Even when the occasional lucky guess leads someone to his grandmother’s estate, the abandoned house is usually enough to send them away; no one would ever think to look for him in the isolated caretaker’s cottage, after all.

He curls his fingers around the doorknob with a fair amount of trepidation, and turns to shoot Rey a reassuring look over his shoulder before he finally opens the door to find–

“I do so hate it when Phasma is right,” a familiar redhead huffs upon catching sight of him.

“Hux?” Ben blurts out incredulously, blinking twice to make sure he isn’t hallucinating. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Oh, I was just in the neighborhood, thought I’d stop by for tea–” Hux says airily before he shoots Ben a scowl. “I’m looking for you, obviously! Twenty-seven goddamn years, Solo. We’ve looked everywhere for you, even placed a reversal charm on that crumbling house up the hill to see if maybe you’d just cloaked yourself. Phas had to go through the original blueprints for this place before she realized where you might be hiding out.”

Ben sighs. “She’s always been sharp,” he concedes before fixing his old acquaintance with a wary look. “Why all the effort, though? Don’t tell me you missed me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Hux snaps even as a grin tugs on the corner of his mouth. “When we heard that you’d left Skywalker for good, Phas and I thought that maybe you might have changed your mind. But I guess…” he gestures at the cottage, at the life and the choices it represents. Even stubborn, determined Hux knows what it means for twenty-seven years to have gone by without Ben contacting him.

“The answer’s still no, Armitage,” he confirms, though he tries to be polite about it. Hux and Phasma are just trying to be good friends, in their own odd way. But Ben has always known that the belonging he seeks won’t come from joining their Dark coven; now that he’s actually found that belonging, he’s less inclined than ever to join them.

Hux gives him a rueful smile. “Suppose I saw that one coming. But if an old friend were to ask for a cup of tea before he hits the road?”

Under any other circumstances, Ben would’ve flung his door wide open and invited the man in. After all, they actually were friends, at some point. In many ways, Hux might even have been the first friend Ben ever had – and the only one, up until Rey. But with Rey in the picture, and in his living room…

Before he can come up with an excuse, the cause of his hesitation snakes her arms around his waist from behind and presses her cheek to his shoulder. “Aren’t you going to invite him in, beloved? He asked so nicely.”

It’s almost comical, the way Hux immediately turns pale as death and drops down to one knee. “Your Majesty!” he cries. “I apologize, I did not know–”

“How could you have?” Rey asks with a dismissive wave of her hand, steps around Ben to look down at Hux. “Rise, Armitage. This isn’t court.”

Ben watches Hux hesitantly straighten up, takes note of the way he doesn’t quite meet Rey’s eyes as he thanks her. “You two know each other?” he asks, glancing between the two of them.

“The First Coven attends court every once in a while,” Rey shrugs. “And his father served Sidious, back in the day.” It’s an interesting bit of information, but nothing Ben didn’t know before. More than anything, it’s a subtle reminder for him to refer to her by her regnal name while they’re in the presence of company just as she does for her grandfather. He catches Rey’s eye and nods, just once, to acknowledge her message.

Rey turns to Hux. “Come in, then. I was just about to brew a pot of nightshade tea, and it’s always too much for one person. Ben here refuses to even try it,” she says with an exaggerated frown and bumps his shoulder teasingly.

“For the last time, it’s poison–” Ben reminds her.

“–which your body is perfectly capable of handling, Skywalker,” Rey points out before she disappears back into the house. She’s oddly convinced that he’s inherited his grandfather’s demonic physiology even though he hasn’t triggered the curse, but Ben’s not about to poison himself just to prove her wrong.

He turns to Hux with a resigned look, that what are you gonna do? half-smile his father used to wear whenever his mother got her way and Han was expected to just go along with it.

Hux returns the look with the wide eyes of someone who’s just woken up to find a dozen ghosts hovering at the foot of his bed. “What in the name of Andeddu?” he whisper-hisses. “Since when do you know Kira Ren?”

“It’s complicated,” Ben shrugs, giving Hux a default answer while he tries to come up with a better one. A year together but they’ve never actually been together in front of anyone else, which means that thus far he hasn’t had to explain the fact that he’s dating the devil.

“I’d say,” Hux snorts delicately, shoulders his way past Ben and watches as he shuts the door. “What the hell is even going on here?”

“Oh,” Rey emerges from the kitchen with a tray floating after her, and out of the corner of his eye he sees Hux blanch at the realization that she’s overheard their conversation. Show-off, Ben mouths fondly at her as she gestures for them to come sit in the living area. “I’ve recently started courting your friend here,” she announces casually, settling into the sofa with Ben while Hux takes the armchair. “Ben would make a strong King, don’t you think, Armitage?” Rey asks sweetly as she hands their guest a cup of tea.

Hux bows his head in thanks. “Certainly, Your Majesty,” he agrees immediately.

“And a handsome one too,” Rey sighs fondly as she raises a hand to caress Ben’s jaw, and he catches a glimmer of mischief in her eyes before she turns back to Hux. “We haven’t had a handsome King in centuries.”

The look on Hux’s face when he realizes she expects him to respond to that makes Ben snort into his teacup. The redhead clears his throat – twice – and begins with a shaky, “Um…”

It’s amusing, but Hux is beginning to turn as red as his hair, and only seems to get more nervous when Rey leans forward with interest. “Kira,” Ben says firmly, quietly.

“Oh, all right, I’ll stop teasing,” she grins, tosses her head back in that Kira Ren laugh that’s nothing like Rey’s. It’s somehow evaded him up until this very moment, the realization of how differently Rey is carrying herself around outside company, around a subject of hers. “So, Armitage, will we be seeing you at court this fortnight?”

Hux’s relief at the change in conversation lasts for all of five seconds. “Most likely, Your Majesty,” he grimaces. “We’ve been having some trouble with the Hutt tribe again–”

“Jabba?” Rey interrupts, her voice deceptively even. He knows for a fact that she detests the greedy Hutt and his network of criminals, and has a plan in the works to get rid of them eventually without collapsing the Underworld’s trade economy, but Rey keeps that admirably under wraps as she calmly addresses Hux. “Why wait until court, now that you and I are both here to speak of it? I’ll send a knight to check on the situation,” she decides. “Remind me, Armitage: you and Osado Ren get along well, don’t you?”

“We…” Hux does his best to hide his disdain, but Ben knows him well enough to see through his poor attempt at a mask. “We can be civil, Your Majesty.”

Rey can see through him too, if the way her shoulders shake is any indication. “No, you most absolutely can’t,” she titters. “I can’t tell who’s worse, the two of you or Phasma and Ẹsan. I’ll send Tiếc then, shall I?”

A quiet sigh of relief escapes Hux. “Her Majesty is very considerate,” he says deferentially, looking down at his teacup.

“See?” Rey nudges Ben’s shoulder with a grin. “I told you my subjects love me.”

He’s struck by the urge to kiss her forehead, but they’ve never really discussed the protocol for affection in front of her subjects. Ben gives her a fond smile instead. “Never doubted it, sweet–”

A sharp hiss from her lips silences him immediately, and both he and Hux watch on in concern as Rey sets her cup down on the coffee table with a clatter. She gets to her feet with a thunderous expression on her face, the kind that reminds him of just who she really is.

“What is it?” Ben asks softly.

When she turns to him, her scowl untwists itself and turns into a milder frown instead. “My knights,” Rey tells him. “They’ve found something.” She leans down briefly, presses a chaste kiss to his lips. “I’ll be back later.”

To Hux she says, “It was nice to see you, Armitage,” and with that, Rey disappears.

“So…” Ben mumbles after a while, when the lingering smoke of Rey’s transportation has finally dissipated. “That was weird.”

“You’re telling me,” Hux snorts, instantly at ease now that his Queen is no longer present. “I’d always heard that she’s a different person around her knights, but I never expected to actually see it. I mean, she laughed!” he exclaims, throwing one hand up for emphasis. “Kira Ren laughed, and it wasn’t cruel!”

Ben can’t help the frown that tugs at his lips. “I was actually talking about you being a complete suck-up, but what do you mean?”

“You’d be a suck-up too if you’d ever seen her in her element,” the redhead huffs defensively. “I once watched her hang a man on a butcher’s hook and slowly tear him apart over the course of three days.”

Nausea rises to the back of his throat even as his mind automatically rejects this information. He flinches, just the slightest bit, and Hux instantly realizes what he’s done.

“She had her reasons,” he hurries to explain. “The man had been selling children into sexual slavery.”

“Oh,” Ben says softly, relaxing shoulders that he hadn’t even realized he’d tensed. This sounds more like his Rey, more like the Kira Ren who spends her free time hunting down targets like the murderer from the night they met.

Hux sets his tea down, leans forward. “She’s not a monster, Ben,” he says gently.

“I never said she was.”

“I know,” Hux acknowledges, holds his palms up in a wordless request for peace. “But I also know that your family hasn’t left you with the best impression of us Darksiders,” he adds. “Kira Ren isn’t like the others before her, Ben. She can be brutal, yes, but never unfairly so. She’s a good Queen.”

Ben nods. And then, because Hux knows him well enough to know that he needed to hear that, because Hux probably knows him better than anyone else aside from Rey, he asks, “Do you think it can work? Me and her?”

Hux considers it for a moment. “As odd as it’ll be to call you my King,” he grimaces briefly before settling into a rare genuine smile, “I can see it, the two of you.”

The thing is, Ben’s starting to see it too.

And it’s more terrifying than anything he’s ever faced before.

A lot of things about Hux’s visit stay with Ben, but none more so than the confirmation that Rey really does act like a completely different person around him. He’d had his suspicions before, in the early days of their friendship when he first noticed her shedding Kira Ren’s sharp smiles and veiled threats to reveal something infinitely softer and more genuine, but now the concrete knowledge keeps him up at night while she sleeps in his arms.

And with it, a question: which one is the real her?

Ben keeps his mouth shut for two months, tells himself that he’s overthinking things and confronting Rey on this would just hurt her. It’s a good enough strategy, until she comes back from a week-long campaign one night with ancient chaos in her amber eyes and electrifying bloodlust humming in her veins.

“Rhelg,” she grins triumphantly before he even asks, and staggers into his arms. Her armor is made entirely of dragon scales, impenetrable by both weapons and spells, and it scrapes against his palms when he wraps his arms around her. “And Ziost, too.”

They’re significant wins, symbolic takings that will definitely expedite her reunification efforts, but Ben can’t focus on anything other than the smell of blood clinging to her and the shadow of death curled around her Force signature. With his chin resting on the crown of her head and his lips tingling from her static-charged hair, he asks, “Is this who you really are?”

Rey tenses in his arms, backs away to look up at him. “Ben?” she questions, her eyes wide and confused but still ringed with amber, the same amber that flashes in her eyes when she’s chasing her pleasure in wild abandon, when she guides him down to where she wants him with hands so tight around his head he thinks they might crush his skull, when she digs her nails into his shoulder until blood runs down his chest as she moves above him. After, she likes to press gentle kisses of wordless apology to his bloodied shoulders before she looks up at him, and every single time without fail he catches her licking a drop of his blood off her lips as the amber in her eyes recedes and returns her to him.

He thinks of the shiver that runs down his spine whenever that happens, and it gives him the strength to continue. “To me you’re Rey, you’ve been Rey since almost the start. But around Hux and on the battlefield and sometimes even with me, you become a completely different person. You become the person I met that first night, the one I thought for sure was going to kill me the second she tracked me down again.”

“So I’m asking you,” Ben pauses, takes a deep breath to steady himself even as his heart weakens at the sight of Rey’s trembling lower lip. “I’m asking you, which one is the real you? My Rey, or Kira Ren?”

His heart feels like it might stop when Rey extricates herself from his arms and hops up on his kitchen counter the way she did that first sunny afternoon. “I was twenty-eight,” she says quietly, after worrying her lip for a bit, “when Snoke first appeared to me.”

“He’d been in my head for much longer than that, of course,” Rey informs him with a slight huff, a bitter half-laugh. “Since I was a baby, practically. When my mother was born, Palpatine took one look at her and knew she’d never manifest. When I was born, my grandmother took one look at me and knew I’d be everything Palpatine could’ve ever wanted in a daughter. And I’ve never been able to figure out, in the century since, whether that darkness she felt was me or Snoke.”

Ben hesitates, decides to step closer in a show of support but doesn’t reach out to touch her. “But I thought your grandmother–”

“–died when I was still a baby, yes. But she left her diaries behind, and I guess even my desperate alcoholic parents knew better than to try and pawn off a witch’s memoirs. When my parents abandoned me, I knew nothing about my family. Everything I knew about myself, about the voices in my head and the strange things I could do, I learned from my grandmother’s diaries,” Rey admits quietly, as if that’s something to be ashamed about. Compared to him, compared to the legacy drilled into his head before he could even string a sentence together, he sees why she might feel that way.

“So when I finally snapped, when I claimed my first kill and triggered the curse, what Snoke found was a clueless, scared child instead of the formidable heir he’d been hoping to turn against Palpatine. He ran with it anyway – he was always such a desperate, grasping man –,” she mutters darkly, lips curling in disgust, “and presented me to his troops as the future Queen. And there was this weight – Snoke’s expectations of me, a thousand demons just staring at me – I just… I panicked. I took all the worst things I’d read about demons in my grandmother’s diaries, all the ugliest things people in Jakku whispered about Darksiders, and I turned all of it into Kira Ren, into the demon queen they wanted.”

Rey looks up at him, holds out a hand beseechingly, and he immediately reaches for her. “That’s what Kira Ren is,” she whispers, leans forward to rest her head against his chest with a shaky breath. “Rey… I never got a chance to know her, before. I was six when my parents disappeared, and something in me just knew that they were never coming back. My father never cared, not really, and in my grandmother’s diaries I’d read all about the voices in my mother’s head, the ones that overwhelmed her and drove her out of her mind because she didn’t have the power to temper them. My grandmother knew that her daughter wouldn’t survive for long, even with all of the alcohol in the world to drown out the voices. It doesn’t matter what happened to my father; even if my mother was the only one to die, he would never have come back for me anyway.”

There’s a muffled sniff against his shirt, and Ben’s free hand, the one not holding hers for dear life, immediately wraps around her waist and pulls her closer. Rey goes quiet after that, but he can feel the way his shirt grows damp with her tears, the way she shudders in his arms.

It feels like hours pass before she pulls away and wipes at her cheeks. “I became what I had to be in order to survive. There was no Rey, there was only the girl who scavenged and traded, the girl whose only friends were the voices in her head. After I killed Snoke and took the throne and met my knights, that changed a bit. But it wasn’t until I met you, Ben,” she drops her voice into an awed murmur, cradles his jaw in her hand like the most precious thing, “that I discovered who I really am, as Rey. Before this I didn’t know my favorite food, and I didn’t know the way I curl around someone in my sleep, and I didn’t know all the little things that make me happier than any victory ever could. Everything about Kira Ren I came up with, I chose. Everything about Rey I’ve discovered with you, as if she was living in me my whole life just waiting until it was safe for her to appear. And I think…” Rey falters, offers him a hesitant, hopeful little smile, “I think that makes her the real me.”

Ben has made many mistakes in his life. Asking Rey to define herself, to retread the painful path of her past in order to prove herself to him, has got to be the absolute worst one. “I think so too, sweetheart,” he whispers as he leans in to press their foreheads together, remorse weighing heavy on his heart and demanding amends. “No, I know so. I know the real you, and I love you more than words could ever say.”

The first time he told her he loved her was months ago, nearly a year now. In the time since he’s said it hundreds, if not thousands of times, but Rey looks at him now as if it’s the first time all over again and her eyes shine with adoration and joy.

“I love you too,” she smiles through tears, and brings him down for a kiss. It’s tender even as she grips his hair so hard he thinks she’ll rip chunks of it out, even as he pulls at her armor until his palms are covered in scratches from the scales. Rey laughs against his lips when he hisses in pain, pulls back and looks him in the eye as she waves her hand over the front of her suit to materialize a hidden zipper.

The armor, priceless and irreplaceable, slinks to the ground and remains forgotten in his kitchen until much, much later that night, when the sweat on their bodies has cooled and they’re finally capable of coherent thought again.

“I should store it,” Rey says half-heartedly after a good laugh over the realization of her priceless suit’s whereabouts. She makes no move to get out of bed though, and Ben deters her from doing so by curling an arm around her waist.

“So, Rhelg and Ziost,” he muses, and leans down to press a kiss to her temple. “Congratulations, my Queen.”

Rey peers up at him from where she’s using his shoulder as a pillow. “Empress, soon,” she reminds him with a pleased little smirk, and Ben tries to hide his trepidation at that but something – his eyes, probably, it’s always his damn eyes – must give him away, because Rey’s smirk flattens into a mildly displeased look.

“Beloved,” she sighs, props herself up with one hand braced on the mattress and her palm curved around her cheek. “I don’t know what more I can say about this to make you change your mind.”

“I don’t think you can,” Ben murmurs gently, reluctant to get into this again. It’s still the only real argument they ever have, the only thing they can never agree on. And it’s the one thing standing in the way of their life together. “It’s just… it’s an empire, Rey. And I love you, and I trust you, but every single Dark empire in history has turned out the same way.”

“But who says it has to be Dark?” Rey challenges him, pulls herself up so that she’s sitting cross-legged and staring down at him. “I told you, Ben: balance. And I know,” she adds before he can voice his skepticism once again, “I know I’m more Dark than Light, that I don’t have the capacity for goodness in me.”

“Rey, no–”

She shakes her head at him, smiles almost sadly. “It’s not in my blood, Ben – the same way that Darkness is. And that means that I can control the Dark, that I can keep it in check and make sure it doesn’t overwhelm the Light. That’s what I’m trying to do,” Rey admits for the very first time, and he barely even catches what she says next, too surprised by this revelation to process anything else. “That’s the best I can do.”

He surges up to match her position, to get a better look at her. “Why didn’t you– Rey, you never told me that that’s– if I had known–”

“Would it really have changed anything?” she asks plainly.

“Well, I thought you were reviving your grandfather’s empire to amass untold Dark power and you’re telling me you’re doing it to contain Darkness instead so yes, Rey, it changes everything!”

“Not everything, Ben,” Rey says softly, shakes her head again with that sad smile he’s starting to hate. It’s wrong on her, resignation on a woman who burns so brightly and fights so fiercely. “I’m still reunifying the empire. I’m still asking you to rule with me. I’m still asking you to become a demon with me, and I know, I know better than anyone else that that doesn’t necessarily mean turning Dark, but realistically…” she shrugs, and it’s like a jolt to his system, to hear the terms of their future laid out so clearly and bluntly.

They sound so simple, these things that she asks of him in return for a lifetime of love, and yet... “Rey,” he rasps, his chest tight with indecision and conflict. “Rey, I…”

Rey sighs and curls up by his side again, presses her ear to his heart as she’s taken to doing in the last few months. “Let’s just go to sleep, Ben.”

She wraps herself around him, one hand across his middle and her leg splayed across both of his, and nestles deeper into him.

It’s been a long day, a stressful day. That’s the only possible explanation for why the idea of giving in to her terms seems less daunting now than ever before. In the morning, it’ll feel impossible again and there’ll still be no end in sight to their situation.

“Good night, sweetheart.”

In the morning, it doesn’t feel impossible.

A week later, he starts considering the logistics of it all, of leaving behind his life and triggering the curse and ruling by Rey’s side. The curse weighs on him heaviest of all, having struggled against it all his life, and even the knowledge that Rey could probably direct him to some scum of the earth who would more than deserve to meet their end doesn’t make the idea of spilling blood any easier to stomach.

But a month later she starts struggling and kicking in bed, cries and begs not to be left alone until he finally manages to wake her, and as she shakes in his arms for the rest of the night Ben decides that there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, that can stand between the two of them, that can stand in the way of his promise that she’ll never be alone again.

During a rare morning alone, Ben picks up a framed picture of his parents and runs his thumb over Han’s preserved memory. “I’m sorry,” he says, struggling to get the words past the lump in his throat. “I know this isn’t what you wanted for me, but you always believed me when I said there was another way. I think this is that way, Dad. I think… I think there could be balance, for once.”

Maybe Han would’ve sighed heavily, and maybe he would’ve grumbled under his breath for a bit, but at the end of the day Ben likes to believe that he would’ve reached out, placed a hand on his son’s shoulder and encouraged him to do something, anything to end this stupid war between his mother’s people. And Rey’s idea of preserving the Light from afar without meddling in it, of keeping the Dark prosperous without strengthening it? It might be just the thing.

His mother and his uncle won’t understand, might never understand. But as long as he can look at this picture of his father and feel at peace with the memory of Han’s dying wish, Ben is okay with that.

“Hey,” he says two days later, smiles when Rey looks up at him while milk drips from her spoonful of cereal. “We spend all of our time here, in my place.” It’s not just his place anymore, hasn’t been for a while now really, but still. “I was thinking maybe we should go to your home, today.”

Rey drops her spoon back into the bowl, and neither of them notice the way milk splatters over the rim and splashes everywhere. “Ben,” she breathes, her smile blinding. “Really? You’re ready to visit Korriban?”

It’s not so much a visit as it is a formality, a final inspection before he commits to a decision he’s already made. But he can’t let her know that just yet, just as he doesn’t let her know about the velvet drawstring pouch in the inner pocket of his jacket and the ring he intends to have on her finger by the end of the day.

“Yeah, I am,” Ben tells her, opens his arms just in time for her to barrel into him and shower kisses on every part of him that she can reach.

“Can we go now?” Rey asks, her eyes wide and bright with joy and anticipation. “There’s so much I want to show you, and I want you to meet my knights, and – oh, the garden, I really want you to see the garden–”

He laughs softly at her excitement, stands up with Rey still clinging to his neck. “Yes, sweetheart. We can go now.”

It’s been years, decades, since he last transported, and even then it was always his uncle casting the spell and him tagging along for the ride. It’s much the same this time, since Rey is the one who knows where they’re going, but with her all of the intense preparations and careful circles are replaced by simply taking her hand, closing his eyes, and trusting her.

Between one breath and the next Rey steps between worlds and guides him to her home, and when he opens his eyes they’re in the middle of a garden that could only be hers. Flowers bloom everywhere in a wild riot of life and thick green vines crawl over crumbling structures, beautiful and wild and the closest visual representation anyone will ever get to Rey’s chaotic, blinding, pulsing Force signature. She’s changed clothes too, in that blink of an eye between realms, traded his shirt for the black leather look she's always in when she comes home from holding court, but for once his eyes aren’t drawn to her.

“Rey, this is…”

She smiles, laces their fingers together and leads him down a path marked by nothing but telltale trampled grass. “Part of my grandmother’s healer abilities was the power to coax any flower or herb she needed to life. Sometimes,” Rey says quietly as she runs her fingers through a wine-red flower with petals like velvet, “I wonder if maybe I would have been a nature witch, had that path been available to me.”

Sometimes Ben wonders too, tries to imagine what Rey’s life would’ve been like if she hadn’t been claimed by her grandfather’s blood the second she was born. Would they have met, if she’d grown up to become a witch instead? Would she still have the Force, without Palpatine’s blood in her veins? Would they have been married by now, if they were both just practitioners with no moral conundrums standing in their way?

Would he trade everything they’ve shared in the past two years for even the tiniest shot at that life instead?

“I grew up in a barren wasteland instead,” Rey continues, “where the last of the trees succumbed to heat long before I was born and even attempts to grow crabgrass failed. So the minute I found out that all of this was mine,” she sweeps her arm in a wide arc, encompasses as far as the eye can see, “I knew immediately what I wanted to do with this land.”

“It’s beautiful,” Ben assures her, letting his free hand drag past flowers and leaves and little bushes heavy with berries.

Rey’s lips twitch with a little self-conscious smile. “Unusual for a demon queen, I know,” she says almost sheepishly before she comes to an abrupt halt and looks up at him. “But I wanted to show you that there’s life here, Ben. I could give you life and love and light here, even in the most unexpected places, if you–”

“Your Majesty!” a voice hollers in the distance. “Majesty!” it cries again, grows closer until both Ben and Rey turn around to find a lower-ranking demon sprinting across the garden to reach them.

“What?!” Rey growls as the demon reaches them, and Ben can’t tell if he shrinks back because of the ice in Rey’s voice or the heat in her glare.

“F-f-forgive me, M-Majesty,” the newcomer stammers, keeping a safe distance between himself and his Queen. “But you asked to be informed when your knights return–”

Rey blinks. “Oh,” she murmurs. “I did, didn’t I?” She turns to Ben then, waves at the demon. “Beloved, this is my assistant, Mitaka.”

Mitaka falls into a bow so deep and abrupt that Ben nearly winces for his bones. “My lord.”

“Um,” Ben turns to Rey with a helpless little look, clears his throat and awkwardly waves the man up. “Uh, you don’t have to do that.”

The little demon looks scandalized, shocked into such a catatonic state that he doesn’t even react when Rey takes Ben’s hand and tugs him a few feet away. “I’m so sorry,” she tells him with an apologetic little smile. “This is pretty urgent. Do you mind?”

Ben smiles, angles himself so that Mitaka can’t see him tucking a lock of hair behind Rey’s ear. “Sweetheart, you’re the Queen here,” he reminds her. “Go do what you have to do.”

“I’ll try to be quick,” Rey promises and, apparently not sharing his qualms about her subjects seeing her in an affectionate relationship, tugs him down by his collar to kiss him. It’s rougher than usual, admittedly, and to an outsider he probably looks completely lost to her will as she pulls on his hair to adjust the angle to her liking. When she breaks away and licks her lips with a smirk, Ben’s almost reminded of that first night when she stole a drop of his blood. “In the meantime,” Rey raises her voice so that it carries to her assistant, “Mitaka will show you around.”

“Oh,” Ben turns to the other demon. “That’s not necessar–”

“It would be an honor, my lord,” Mitaka says, dropping quickly into another bow. Ben turns to look at Rey, clueless and uncomfortable.

“Might as well get used to it, just in case,” she shrugs, a satisfied little gleam in her eyes. “Osado should be around the East Wing. Maybe you could meet him?” her voice is a little tentative, a little hopeful, and Ben knows how much it’ll mean to her for him to meet one of her knights.

“Sure,” he nods with an easy smile. “That’d be nice.”

Rey beams at him and it’s so at odds with their surroundings, with the persona he was expecting from her in her realm, that it sets him completely at ease. Whatever fears he’d harbored about Rey, about her and their relationship changing once they’re here, seem so ridiculous now. He’s struck by the impulse to ask her right now, but Osado Ren is something of an older brother to her, based on her stories, and Ben figures in lieu of any father figures he should at least make his intentions known to the knight, scope out his reaction to both the engagement and Ben’s eventual ascension.

Still, he can’t help but wince a bit at the way she barks orders at Mitaka as the lower demon flinches and stammers his way through the interaction. But Rey had warned him, hadn’t she? Hierarchy is everything in the Underworld, and the pecking order must always be painfully clear.

“I’ll see you soon, beloved,” Rey smiles as she slinks past him, her exchange with Mitaka apparently done. In this, in the way she carries herself around her subjects, she’s more Kira Ren than Rey. But as Ben watches the sauntering gait of her retreating form, head held proudly high and shoulders deceptively loose, he finds that he’s not too bothered by that.

“M-my lord,” Mitaka stammers behind him, and when Ben turns he indicates the opposite direction. “Shall we?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ben shrugs and allows himself to be led away. He considers Mitaka for a bit, wonders if now would be a good time to try and get some information, but the poor demon looks jumpy as all hell. Besides, it feels dishonest, to ask around about Rey and her reign behind her back when he’s already decided that he loves and accepts her no matter what.

So they walk in silence, save for Mitaka’s occasional attempts to play tour guide by pointing out noteworthy structures and figures in their path. What feels like minutes but also hours later finds them climbing up the front steps of a looming structure that bears a passing resemblance to the old mansions that house his mother’s Light Council, the only major differences being the color of the façade and the figures carved into the black marble pillars.

Mitaka waves the front doors open with a sweeping gesture and presents the building to him. “The East Wing,” he announces. “Home to Her Majesty’s collections.”

Ben grins to himself. Of course Rey would arrange for him to be brought to her museum-slash-library. “She knows me too well,” he murmurs under his breath as Mitaka crosses to the far end of the hall littered with relics in order to light a fire. The flames crawl rapidly through a network of glass tubes suspended from the ceiling, and soon the whole hall is lit by firelight.

“Sir Ren shall join you momentarily,” Mitaka says, and after another painfully deep bow he closes the doors behind Ben and leaves him to his own devices. Ben takes the opportunity to explore the area, all curved onyx stands and dome-shaped glass cases. A closer inspection finds gold plaques attached to each stand and varying forms of documents contained within the glass cases, but none of the descriptions or parchments are written in any language he’s ever seen.

He’s just stumbled upon the presumable crown jewel of the collection – housed in the center of the hall, on a stand taller and larger than any other, with a description that appears to writhe on its plaque – when the great doors swing open once more.

“Ben!” Osado Ren greets him jovially, instantly recognizable from Rey’s descriptions and the black leather armor he wears, Rey’s sigil burned into the breastplate. “It’s so good to finally meet you.”

Osado clamps his hands on either side of Ben’s arms, even though he has to stretch quite a bit to do so, and this close Ben can see the lines on his face that speak of the challenging human existence he’d suffered through before the loss of his love and the senselessness of her death had led him to invoke Rey and bargain with her. “Oh,” Ben mumbles as Osado releases him and takes a step back. “Re– Kira told you my name.” It’s an odd thing to be worried about, after a lifetime of everyone knowing his name, but he figures it’s more or less time to start.

“She’s Rey to us,” the knight assures him. “And you have nothing to worry about – we’re all family here, after all.”

“Family?” Ben echoes curiously. He’s heard Rey apply the term to her knights, and has no doubt that they feel the same way about her, but him?

“Well, Rey extended her home, her care, and her name to us when we had nothing, so yes,” Osado shrugs. “And you’re family to her, which makes us family as well. But,” he pauses, offers Ben a genuine smile, “if it makes you feel better, my real name is Poe. Poe Dameron. There, now we’re even.”

“Um, sure… Poe,” he says hesitantly, but the ever-present smile on the knight’s face remains firmly in place despite the use of his first name. Poe it is, then.

“So, what do we have here?” the knight asks, stepping around him to look at the piece he was studying. As if the plaque itself weren’t unusual enough, the document appears to be carved on a slab of marble rather than written on parchment or vellum like the rest of the collection, and the letters have been filled in with gold to match the veins in the marble. Ben can’t deny that he’s curious, and Poe seems prepared to take on the role of curator.

“Oh, it’s the prophecy! Figures that you’d be drawn to it,” he tells Ben with a knowing smile that makes no sense whatsoever.

“Right, the prophecy,” Ben nods, steps closer. “But what does this say, exactly? I don’t think I’ve ever seen this writing.” A novelty for him, considering all the dead languages his uncle had him study during his earliest years as a mage.

Poe shrugs. “Well, it’s ancient. Only a few of us still know how to read it, and it’s not exactly a skill you can learn,” he explains. “You can only decipher it with Rey’s blessing – which, of course, you’ll get as soon as you two finally make things official.”

The ring in his pocket feels like it weighs a ton. Maybe now would be a good time to talk to Poe about it; he’s not going to ask for permission – Rey is the Queen, after all – but it’d be reassuring to know that the closest thing she has to family is all right with him joining them.

Before he can say anything though, Poe points at the plaque; Ben swears he hears a faint hissing sound when the knight’s hand gets a little too close, and for a second there the writhing turns into the kind of shaking he associates with a provoked snake. Poe chuckles to himself, moves his hand a safe distance away, and the words go back to their endless cycle, almost like an Ouroboros trapped in the form of letters.

“The Eternal Reign of Kira and Kylo Ren,” Poe announces grandly, and playfully elbows Ben as he stage-whispers, “That’s you!”

“Right,” Ben feels more than hears himself murmur, a faint ringing taking up residence in his ears as Poe goes on to describe the contents of the prophecy itself.

“Previous reigns have never lasted longer than five hundred years – the Dark has a habit of consuming itself, self-imploding, plus there’s no shortage of backstabbing and coups, of course,” Poe explains. “But from the very beginning the prophecy has spoken of a couple, both of royal Dark blood in their own rights, neither born in the Dark but both born to the Dark. Sound familiar?”

“Um, yeah,” he forces himself to say, just so that Poe will keep going.

“Apart the two of them are already more powerful than any previous Dark monarch, but together they will be unrivaled in all the universe, their rule secured for millennia to come. You know,” Poe turns back to him, having apparently summarized the whole prophecy to his satisfaction, “for the longest time everyone believed this prophecy was bullshit. It’s been here since almost the beginning, and no one had ever come close to fulfilling it. Even when Rey took the throne and was anointed Kira Ren, no one thought she’d find her Kylo – no one except Rey, anyway. She just knew you were out there, said she could feel it the day you were born and has been waiting every day since.”

I knew Vader had a grandson, but I never bothered looking into it. 

I never saw you coming, Ben Solo. You’re the best surprise that’s ever happened to me.

In a way, we have that tourist killer of yours to thank. Who knows if our paths would ever have crossed otherwise?

The day you were born, Poe says, and Ben thinks he’s going to be sick.

“Hey,” Poe frowns, concern lining his face as he takes in Ben’s blank stare. “Are you okay?”

“I–” the words can barely come out, not with his throat so tight that no air can get it. “I–” Ben tries again, doubles over and closes his eyes, takes deep breaths and counts to ten. “I need to see her. Now.”

Poe looks worried, but there’s no hint of wariness, of realization that he’s just given away his Queen’s master fucking plan. “Yeah, sure. She and the others should be wrapping up soon, anyway. Let’s get you back to your girlfriend, huh?”

It turns out that Mitaka took him on the scenic route; Poe ushers him out through a backdoor and has them in the main structure of the castle grounds within minutes. As soon as the throne room is in sight, Ben speeds up and leaves a puzzled Poe calling out behind him.

“Who–” Rey demands before she sees who it is that’s burst into her throne room without announcement or permission. “Oh,” she smiles, gets up from her throne to walk past her two knights and over to him.

The knights - Ẹsan the boy she rescued the night he killed the warlord who enslaved him and Tiếc the girl who lost a sister when Poe lost a wife – turn to him just in time to hear him say, “Out.”

“Beloved,” Rey frowns, “what–”

“Get out,” Ben commands, and the knights scramble to leave after a quick nod from their Queen. The doors behind them slam shut with a blast of power, the kind of outburst he’s managed to keep in check for decades.

Rey reaches for his hand, eyes wide with concern. “Ben–”

“You lied to me!” he growls, and she staggers back. “You promised me you weren’t just another demon who’d been keeping tabs on me since I was born, you swore you weren’t using me for my powers!”

“Oh,” Rey murmurs to herself, stumbles backwards until she collapses into her throne. “Oh.”

“The night we met – did you plan that?” Ben demands as he advances on her. “Fuck, did you plan all of this? Was it just a game to you all along, Kira Ren? All the others failed, so you decided you’d try good old seduction instead and turn me Dark by breaking my heart, is that it?”

“Ben, no–” she claims, rises from her throne to place a hand over his heart. “None of this was planned, none of it needed to be planned. We were always going to find each other, eventually. We’re fated, Ben, don’t you feel it–”

“Fated for what, Rey?” he spits, pushing her hand aside. “For an eternity of you ruling with me as your attack dog? All those times you brought up how much easier it’d be with me by your side – you never meant as a team. You were talking about my bloodline, about my powers. Fuck, to think that I almost gave in to you–” he curses, stunned by his own blindness after a lifetime of vigilance.

Rey stills, looks up at him with those shiny eyes and trembling lips she wears so well. “You… you what?”

He pulls the pouch from his pocket, tosses it at her with a little too much force. No point in keeping it, anyway, not when he’ll never find a use for it again. Let her have this, then, if she’s so keen on having a piece of Darth Vader’s fucking legacy.

“Ben,” Rey gasps when she fishes the ring out of the velvet bag, holds in her palms the symbol of love his grandfather presented to his grandmother when he promised them a future of light.

“This was never supposed to be just a visit,” he admits, taking a sick sort of pleasure in twisting the knife, in rubbing in just how close she’d gotten to deceiving him. “I was going to ask you to marry me today. Stars, I was going to kill someone for you– fucking idiot,” Ben growls to himself, pulls viciously at his hair while he paces the length of the dais. “Balance? What a load of bullshit, as if the demon queen could ever–”

From her spot where she’s crumbled to the ground, sitting on the stairs leading to her throne, Rey chokes on a sob. “Ben, please, I meant it, I meant all of it–”

“Because you’re the picture of honesty,” Ben scoffs with barely a glance in her direction. “Were you ever going to tell me, Rey? Would you have gone cold the second I tied myself to you and your mission was accomplished? Or, no, wait,” he hates how cruel he sounds, hates how his lips twist into a sneer when he finally turns back to her, hates the fact that he’s hurting her even though she’s cut him deeper than anyone ever could, “you would’ve kept it going a little while longer, wouldn’t you, until we had that big family you’re always talking about. A whole army of the most powerful demons to ever exist, you wouldn’t even need me after that–”

“Don’t!” Rey snaps, pulls herself up and dries off her tears. “Think what you want, Ben, but don’t ever imply that I would’ve used our children–”

“–the way you tried to use me?”

“Fine, yes!” she cries, and it’s almost a relief to have confirmation, to know for sure. Now he can walk away with no what-ifs, no regrets–

“Yes, damn it, I wanted you for the prophecy, but not the way you’re twisting it!” Rey claims, a little scream of frustration lodged in her throat. “I’d been alone all my life, Ben, and here was a prophecy telling me that my perfect mate was somewhere out there, that once I found him I’d never be alone again, never be in danger again – whatever twisted idea you have of me using you, it was never going to be like that.”

He wants, so desperately– “How can I believe you, Rey? How can I ever trust you again?”

This time, when she reaches for him he lets her. “I could swear on my grandfather’s grave,” Rey whispers. “I could swear on my throne, on my life. But we both know these things don’t mean anything to me.”

“How convenient,” he mutters, but doesn’t shake her hand off his.

“But if you trust me, Ben, if you give me another chance – I will swear on our love, on our children, on the only things that matter to me,” she says fervently, digs her nails into his arm, “that you will never regret it.”

Ben scoffs. “That’s a bit of a gamble, isn’t it? What love, Rey? What love, Kira?”

Her nails break his skin. “Stop calling me–”

“It’s who you are, isn’t it?” he confronts her, that old fear that never quite let go of him bursting to the surface, sustained all the months by the amber flashes of her eyes and her callous treatment of others. Idiot, idiot, idiot, what an idiot all along to believe that he was the only one, that he was special enough to change her– “Whoever it is I deluded myself into seeing… she never existed, did she? It was you all along, tricking me, manipulating me, playing me like a goddamn fiddle and I fell for it all like the lovesick fool that I was–”

“Don’t,” Rey whispers, a fresh wave of tears shining in her eyes. “Don’t say that. Don’t say was as if you don’t love me anymore.”

And fuck it all but he does, she almost tricked him into an eternity of Darkness but it still hurts to see her this way, still kills him to know that he’s the one making her cry– “I love Rey,” Ben croaks in an attempt to cling to reason. “I love the woman I’ve spent the past two years with. If she never existed then–”

“She did, she does,” Rey insists as she hooks one leg around his ankle and knocks him off his feet, tackles him to the ground and softens the blow with her hands around the back of his head. “I love you. I’m her and I’m here and I love you, Ben please–”

“Please,” she whispers, brings her hands to cradle his face, her thumbs caressing his jaw the way she does when she’s trying to wake him gently in the morning, the way she does when they’re curled up together in front of the TV and her fondness for him overflows. “Please, Ben, don’t leave me. Don’t leave me alone.”

He closes his eyes, lets his head fall against the harsh marble floor as she invokes his oath.

“You promised, Ben,” Rey says quietly, her voice small like a child’s, like the lonely child she’s been all her life, the one that calls to his soul the way every other part of her matches every other part of him. So different, so alike, perfect mates the prophecy calls them.

The prophecy he knew nothing about, the prophecy that’s a hundred times worse than the destiny he’s been trying to outrun all his life, and where did that get him? All that running, a lifetime of it, and here he is anyway, his soul in the balance, his heart in Rey’s hands–

Would it be so bad? If she’s trying so hard to keep him now, if she tries this hard for the rest of their lives… would it be so bad even if this is a lie?

No worse than the alternative, than walking away from her today and spending the rest of his life wondering about the truth, looking over his shoulder, dreading the day his fate catches up with him… that’s not a life. Not the life his father would have wanted for him, not the life he wants for himself.

Ben takes a deep breath, pictures the life he’s been dreaming of since the day the devil appeared in his kitchen, and comes to a decision.

“I promised,” he concedes, opens his eyes and lets his hands rest on her waist. “I promise. You’ll never be alone again.”

This morning he was willing to fall to the Dark side for her love.

Everything, and yet nothing, has changed since then.

Rey smiles at him, and he ignores the flash of amber in her watery eyes as she leans down to kiss him. “You won’t regret this,” she murmurs against his lips. “I swear, Ben, on our happiness, I won’t let you regret this. We’ll be so good together, you’ll see, no one will ever stand in our way, no one will ever tear us apart–”

Because no one will ever be capable of it, but he kisses her again before she can remind him of that, of the fate he’s giving in to. Rey leans back, rests against his bent knees and produces something with a twist of her wrist.

The ring, he realizes as she hands it to him almost shyly. She must’ve hidden it away for safekeeping.

He had a speech planned, this morning. All of the sacrifices he’s willing to make for her, all of the love that overwhelms him each and every second.

Now… now there’s nothing left to say. Ben takes her hand, notes that they’re both shaking and tricks himself into letting that make him feel better, into letting that make him believe her.

The ring is a perfect fit, just like he always knew it would be.

Rey leans down, kisses him with a smile on her lips and warm tears that burn his cheeks. “My turn,” she whispers an eternity later, pulls him up with her and leads him to the throne where her sigil is carved into the gleaming onyx.

“This is my throne, my empire, my power,” she intones, still holding his hand, still smiling. “And all this I choose to share with you, will share with you for as long as we both live.”

She takes his hand, presses his palm to her sigil. The carved lines of the rune turn red, and his palm tingles but does not burn. Rey holds his hand in place, waits for a sign only she knows.

When the red glow disappears, she pulls his hand away and turns his palm to him so that they can see the mark he will carry for eternity slowly sink under his skin.

“It’s different,” Ben realizes with a start, looks up at the throne once the sigil on his palm disappears and finds that it’s changed too, grown more complex somehow, more complete.

“It’s ours now,” Rey tells him, uses his hand to trace out a mark he recognizes from before. “Kira,” she reads, and then traces the newer lines, “and Kylo Ren.”

She lets go of his hand to step behind him, wraps her arms around his waist and presses her lips to the back of his neck. “My consort. My emperor. My Kylo,” she whispers, her voice warm with affection but dark with triumph.

And Ben, newly engaged and crowned–

–Ben stares at the sigil, their sigil, and doesn’t let himself turn back to see what color her eyes are.

Not my usual ‘and they lived 100% happily ever after’ ending, but this was never meant to be my usual kind of story. This chapter - this whole fic, really - hinged on the big reveal. I hope I managed to pull that off.

When I first came up with this idea months ago, it was meant to be a tiny one-shot posted alongside all the rituals between you and me as a pair of parallel fics. Obviously that didn't pan out, and I ended up spending months adding bits and pieces to my original outline without knowing if this fic would ever see the light of day.

Now it's done and it's out there in the world, and I can only hope even a fraction of the people reading this have enjoyed this odd little tale as much as I enjoyed bringing it to life. (And psst, if you did: stay tuned for a slightly risqué - by my standards, anyway - bonus scene/epilogue coming soon!)

As always, thank you so, so much for reading. If you enjoyed this fic and/or have any thoughts/comments/questions, please don't hesitate to like/reblog/comment.

[antonverloc]

i made verloc a playlist because listen it’s my day off and this is definitely the most productive use of my time. many of the songs refer to different aspects of him (or at least my portrayal) as well as his relationships, and those details and the most prominent lyrics in each are under the cut. 

GERM CELL TUMOR / SHOWBREAD (HIM). ❝ i’m often misplacing the conviction that i sell; i put it on display so arrogantly. sometimes being right is important to me; i need the vindication, but it doesn’t make me happy. i’m horrified by the prospect of defeat; so many demons want to make a home in me. ❞ + ❝ i think that when i started, there was hope in the tank. somewhere along the line, i replaced all of it. running on the arrogant fumes of self-satisfaction, got me reeking of the odor of my own pestilence. ❞ + ❝ so petrified, and i’m tangled in conceit. ❞

SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE / THOMAS DOLBY (SALLY).  ❝ i don’t believe it! there she goes again. she’s tidied up, and i can’t find anything. all my tubes and wires, and careful notes, and antiquated notions. but it’s poetry in motion, and when she turned her eyes to me, as deep as any ocean, as sweet as any harmony, she blinded me with science. ❞

DEAD IN THIS HOUSE / IAMX (CHILDHOOD/FAMILY). ❝ you’re in the dark, just you and anger; your oldest friend, your closest lover. show them your art, show them your alchemy - your addictive, viral, euphoric, raging need. ❞ + ❝ kick down the door, kick through the pain. you’ve been talking to the wall, ‘cause everybody is dead in this house. ❞

SMOKE AND MIRRORS / GOTYE (HIM). ❝ you’re a fraud, and you know it; but it’s too good to throw away. anyone would do the same. you’ve got ‘em going, and you’re careful not to show it. sometimes you even fool yourself a bit - it’s like magic - but it’s always been a smoke and mirrors game. anyone would do the same. ❞ + ❝ such highs and lows, you put on quite a show. all these highs and lows, and you’re never really sure what you do it for. ❞

ANIMALS / MUSE (HIM). ❝ out of control - you’re out of control. strike those in distress. analyze, advertise, expand, bend more rules - buy yourself an island. ❞ + ❝ out of control - we’re out of control. crush those who beg at your feet. analyze, franchise, spread out, kill the competition - and buy yourself an ocean. amortize, downsize, lay off, kill yourself - come on and do us all a favour. ❞ 

NUMB / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS (HIM). ❝ one track mind like a gold fish, stuck inside my petri dish. i can’t breathe and i can’t smile - this better be worth my while. i feel numb most of the time; the lower i get, the higher i’ll climb. and i will wonder why i got dark only to shine; looking for the golden light, oh, it’s a reasonable sacrifice. ❞ + ❝ forego family, forego friends. that’s how it started, how it ends. i can’t open up and cry, ‘cause i’ve been silent all my life. ❞ + ❝ oh, i get dark - and oh, i’m in hell. i need a friend - oh, but i can’t yell. yeah, i’m no good, no good to anyone, ‘cause all i care about is being number one. ❞

SOLITAIRE / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS (HIM). ❝ don’t wanna talk with anyone, i’m obsessed with silence. i go home and i lock my door, i can hear the sirens. i see buildings and bars from the window, and i listen to the wind blow. i see people and cars covered in gold, and i’m happy to be on my own. ❞ + ❝ hard like a rock, cold like a stone. white like a diamond, black like coal. cut like a jewel, yeah, i repair myself when you’re not there. solitaire, something you consider rare. i don’t wanna be compared with that cheap shimmer and glitter. ❞ + ❝ i’m in love with the ice-blue skies of england. i’ll admit, all i wanna do is get drunk and silent. ❞

HURT / JOHNNY CASH (HIM/SALLY). ❝ i hurt myself today to see if i still feel. i focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real. ❞ + ❝ everyone i know goes away in the end. and you could have it all - my empire of dirt. i will let you down; i will make you hurt. ❞ + ❝ i wear this crown of thorns, upon my liar’s chair; full of broken thoughts i cannot repair. beneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear; you are someone else, and i am still right here. ❞

WHITE SUBURB IMPRESSIONISM / IAMX (HIM). ❝ you might keep me alive, but i can let you down any time that i like. ❞ + ❝ break my neck or my fall, and burn all the bridges, and breach every wall. the sweetest of touches, the violent caress - the time of your life for the marks that you left on me. ❞ + ❝ never argue with these idiots, they drag you down to their level and beat you with ignorance. ❞

FLAWED DESIGN / STABILO (HIM). ❝ when i got older, i began to lie to get exactly what i wanted when i wanted it, and i wanted it. now i’m having trouble differentiating between what i want and what i need to make me happy. ❞ + ❝ and i will turn off, and i will shut down; burying the voices of my conscience hitting ground. the chemicals are restless in my head. ❞ + ❝ never take advice from someone who just admitted to being devious, who just confessed to treason.❞

COLD COLD COLD / CAGE THE ELEPHANT (HIM). ❝ doctor, look into my eyes. i’ve been breathing air, but there’s no sign of life. doctor, the problem’s in my chest; my heart feels cold as ice, but it’s anybody’s guess. ❞ + ❝ it’s cold, cold, cold, cold inside. darker in the day than in the dead of night. ❞

NOTHING PERSONAL / NIGHT RIOTS (HIM/DOWNERS). ❝ the center of the world is lonely me. ❞ + ❝ i’ll be the king, you’ll be the filth i wash away. it’s nothing personal. ❞

WHO ARE YOU, REALLY? / MIKKY EKKO (HIM). ❝ so, you feel entitled to a sense of control, and make decisions that you think are your own. ❞ + ❝ now you’re moving idle, and you say you’re alone. ❞ 

DON’T MESS WITH ME / TEMPOSHARK (HIM). ❝ how it all began, if truth be told: i had a master plan, now i rule the world. took ‘em by surprise, worked my way uphill. they looked into my eyes; i became invincible. no one can stop me, for only i am in control. if you want me, you’d better contact my people. ❞ + ❝ won’t you please disappear? something tells me you can’t further my career. ❞

CALL MY NAME / THE UNLIKELY CANDIDATES (SALLY). ❝ i keep my heart under the floorboards, deep in the dark, far away from yours. a panic starts in a little box when you’re at my door, and it’s fine. no, i lied - i feel it screaming. it knows what you’ve come for. ❞ + ❝ heart! what is it i hear? i’m moving past the real, and it wants to feel you call my name.  ❞ + ❝ i pass the time in cool paranoia, detail each crime that killed me before you. but your pale blue eyes trigger innocence and bind to euphoria, then it throbs, and i’m about to hear it laughing. my heart will destroy us. ❞

WIRES / THE NEIGHBORHOOD (HIM). ❝ mr. know-it-all had his reign and fall, at least that’s what his brain is telling all. ❞ + ❝ you knew the game and played it, it kills to know that you have been defeated. ❞ + ❝ the wires got the best of him - all that he’d invested in goes straight to hell. ❞

I DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT YOU / MISSIO (HIM/SALLY). ❝ depressed again; morning comes too fast, and i’m tired of the routine. depressed again, let me sit alone in the tone of tranquility. angry again; no, i don’t want to have a conversation with you. angry again; let me sit alone with the kerosene. ❞ + ❝ i don’t even care about you, i don’t even care about you - depressed again - angry again - let me sit alone with the kerosene. ❞

EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLDS / LORDE (HIM/WELLINGTON WELLS). ❝ welcome to your life, there’s no turning back. even while we sleep, we will find you acting on your best behaviour, turn your back on mother nature. everybody wants to rule the world. ❞ + ❝ it’s my own design, it’s my own remorse. ❞ 

STORMS / FLEETWOOD MAC (SALLY). ❝ every night that goes between, i feel a little less. as you slowly go away from me, this is only another test. every night you do not come, your softness fades away. did i ever really care that much? is there anything left to say? every hour of fear i spend, my body tries to cry. living through another empty night, a deadly calm inside. ❞ + ❝ i haven’t felt this way i feel since many a year ago, but in those years and the lifetimes past, i did not deal with the road. and i did not deal with you, i know, though the love has always been. ❞

EARTH / SLEEPING AT LAST (CHILDHOOD/FAMILY). ❝ fault lines tremble underneath my glass house, but i put it out of my mind. long enough to call it courage, to live without a lifeline. i bend the definition of faith to exonerate my blind eye; ‘til the sirens sound, i’m safe. ❞ + ❝ meanwhile, my family’s taking shelter; the sparks send the fire down the wire. the countdown begins, until the dynamite gives in. ❞

BURN / AURAM (SALLY). ❝ if i burn, you burn with me. you got me so fucked up, feels like you’re watching me. thought you’d be haunting, but it’s her that’s haunting me. is this what you want? setting me on fire. i thought i loved you right, but this is what you inspire. and you were right when you told me “you’ve got a lot to prove”; may not be watching close, but i’m watching you. now i’ve got ammunition, baby - you don’t even wanna think about what i could do. ❞

WEIRD SCIENCE / OINGO BOINGO (HIM). ❝ from my heart and from my hand - why don’t people understand my intentions? plastic tubes and pots and pans, bits and pieces, magic from the hand, we’re making weird science. ❞ + ❝ pictures from a magazine, diagrams and charts, mending broken hearts. ❞ + ❝ things i’ve never seen before behind bolted doors; talent and imagination. ❞

THE SCIENTIST / COLDPLAY (SALLY).  ❝ running in circles, coming up tails, heads on a science apart. nobody said it was easy; it’s such a shame for us to part. nobody said it was easy; no one ever said it would be this hard. oh, take me back to the start. ❞ + ❝ i was just guessing at numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart. questions of science - science and progress - don’t speak as loud as my heart. tell me you love me, come back to haunt me - oh, and i rush to the start. ❞

PIPES / TOM MILSOM (HIM/SALLY). ❝ the world is strange; it’s all a game, a shooting range. for apathy and empathy, psychology and therapy; and even if i’m eloquent, this all defies my sentiment. ❞ + ❝ hovering intangibly is everything you mean to me; i’d cut open your humming heart if only i knew where to start. these microscopes replace my eyes, and everything it magnifies is something new, but everywhere you cast a shadow on the atoms in the air. ❞ + ❝ let me cut it open and explore the information, in the pipes that make it mazes of logistical holisticism. ❞ + ❝ there’s no emotion in my eyes, i’m just a robot in disguise. the passion, when it came to me, was more than sonic fallacy. ❞

OH NO! / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS (HIM). ❝ don’t do love, don’t do friends. i’m only after success. don’t need a relationship, i’ll never soften my grip. ❞ + ❝ i know exactly what i want and who i want to be. i know exactly why i walk and talk like a machine. i’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy - oh, oh no. ❞ + ❝ one track mind, one track heart. if i fail, i’ll fall apart. maybe it is all a test, ‘cause i feel like i’m the worst, so i always act like i’m the best. ❞

DANGEROUSLY / CHARLIE PUTH (SALLY). ❝ i ignored the truth, drunk off that love. it fucked my head up; there’s no forgetting you. ❞ + ❝ you’ve awoken me, but you’re choking me. i was so obsessed, gave you all of me - and now, honestly, i’ve got nothing left. ❞ + ❝ knew we would crash at the speed we were going, didn’t care if the explosion ruined me. baby, i loved you dangerously. ❞ + ❝ usually, i hold the power with both my hands tied behind my back. look at how things have changed. ❞

[thesims4blogger]

The Sims 4 on Xbox & PlayStation 4: New Game Patch (July 19th, 2018)

There’s a Sims 4 update available for players on Xbox One and PlayStation 4. 

Update: 07/19/2018 – v1.07

Hello Simmers!

What a summer! As you may have heard, we have been hard at work preparing for the arrival of our fluffy companions in Cats & Dogs. We haven’t stopped there though, we have added Households, Lots and Rooms created by members of The Sims 4 Community into My Library and continued to make a number of performance improvements. Of course, we have been gathering and addressing your feedback and reports too.

Rather than giving you a high-level version of what you can expect how about I just tell you.

What’s New?

Performance improvements mean that you should be able to get into your Worlds quicker, loading times will be shorter and things will be smoother.

The Auto Save feature had been a little too temperamental for our liking so we have reviewed the feature and made improvements to the way it works so it is more reliable.

My Library expanded with creations from The Sims 4 Community. The new additions bring Households, Lots and Rooms.

We have also added the Piece of Cake Bakery which you may remember from the Get to Work announcement trailer.

We often get requests for features and one of the biggest requests has been to have the option to scale your roofs. We heard you and we added the feature into Build Mode.

General Issues

Manage Households was a little lacking in the managing part of the name by preventing you from deleting households. You can delete households you don’t need or want any more and truly manage households as you would expect.

If you max out your My Library storage you’ll be informed when you try to save more creations rather than finding out they silently disappeared.

Cursor speed and acceleration settings no longer reset after restarting the game.

While using the virtual cursor control scheme, the acceleration could feel like you were chasing an excited puppy around your lot. We got things under control and switching directions as you navigate the Lot shouldn’t feel so skittish. Remember, you can adjust speed and acceleration in the Game Options to get the feel you prefer.

The camera shouldn’t lose function when toggling bb.moveobjects in Build Mode

Trying to use the Virtual Cursor to live-drag from your inventory shouldn’t feel like a never-ending chore. Now it is as simple as select and drag, just like it should be.

Don’t you just hate it when you finish loading only to be told that there is “Game Loading In Progress” when it looks like it has finished? Us too! When a lot has loaded, it is loaded and ready to go, just like it should be.

Placing a Styled Room from My Library shouldn’t stop your controls from working as expected.

Sometimes you don’t have room in your lot to place a staircase before rotating it, now you can rotate stairs into the orientation you want without having to place them first.

Stairs aren’t the only thing you can rotate without placing them either, you can now rotate whole empty rooms and even walls before deciding where you want them.

Simmers who use the Virtual Cursor control scheme rejoice as the Pin/Unpin Whim option is now open to you.

Virtual Cursor controls have been tweaked, adjusted and tweaked again so now you don’t continue to accelerate and zip around the screen uncontrollably. Switching directions you take the Virtual Cursor in will drop the acceleration to ¼ of what it was so you have more control of where you go.

Changing your mind and re-doing something is part of getting your perfect Sim in CAS. If you do change your mind, we won’t put you into an invisible UI anymore, I promise.

Cell phones are a lifeline for a lot of people and Sims aren’t any different. We spent a lot of time getting them set up with more reliable service so the cell phone works when it is needed and doesn’t stay on screen when it isn’t.

Occasionally, the camera momentum made it difficult to have precise navigation. We’ve made a few passes at improving the camera movement to make is easier to navigate the lot.

Cancelling Save and Play while in CAS isn’t possible anymore. If you did this previously, you might want to check My Library as you might have multiple versions of your Households that you might want to tidy up.

Family is key and if you have babies you’ll know how precious they can be. That is why switching Sims now acts like it should if you have any in your household.

Get to Work

Returning to active lot will no longer spam the action queue while you are at work in the scientist career.

The returning to active lot interaction won’t queue and cancel repeatedly if you decide to idle in the alien world.

In the videos out of Roswell they got up close with an Alien and now you can too while creating an Alien in CAS. Like other Sims, you can switch to detail edit mode and get closer to the extra-terrestrial Sims.

Ever visit a new place only to think that it feels familiar but not quite right in some way? That happened to us when visiting Sixam and realizing that it didn’t look as we expected so we got the ground crew in and updated the place.

Vampires

Receiving a welcome phone call from Vlad can be exciting, I mean, how often do you get a phone call from a vampire? Getting this unique call shouldn’t stop your controls from functioning so we addressed that.

Dine Out

Canceling object placement of objects selected through Lot Type requirements will no longer put you into one of those super-secret areas in the UI.

Editing an employee uniform won’t send your controls across the screen no matter how your employees feel about their new uniform design.

City Living

When you load into San Myshuno the virtual cursor shouldn’t get stuck. It used to, but now it doesn’t.

If you are lucky enough to get an invite to a festival but unlucky enough to have a parent chance card appear at the same time you’ll be happy to know that you’ll keep control of your World and Sims.

PlayStation 4

Pressing X should work when you need it most… When you press the X button.

Improvements to the way My Library saves means you should have more space for your creations.

Celebrate good times but come on, we don’t need to see the pack celebration screens over and over. They should only show the once now and viewed new Objects shouldn’t reset to look like everything is new again.

When you select Save Household you expect the household to be saved, right? Thought so, now your Saved Households will save to My Library as you would expect.

If you chose to change your Display Settings, the virtual cursor won’t be prevented from accessing all of the UI if you opt to display things smaller.

The Action Queue is meant to expand to fit in all the queued actions, that is how we came up with the name. What it shouldn’t do and doesn’t do anymore is expand to the top of the screen just because you chose to speed up time.

Travel and romance are two of life’s luxuries. That is unless you managed to have “Travel” queue up after performing the “Ask on Date” interaction. Then you just had a mini nightmare because you found yourself stuck in Manage World. We released the controls from the UI and now you can take your date globetrotting without the worry of getting stuck looking at where you could have visited.

Xbox One

They say that good things come to those who wait. We don’t like waiting so we have improved the loading times so that you shouldn’t see an extended loading screen before getting into game.

Styled Room showcases will align correctly if you adjust your margins settings.

Does a Sim have an aura? Well they might but it shouldn’t have been as prominent as it was, so we turned down the highlighting of Sims so it isn’t as distracting anymore.

That isn’t it either, we took a look at what was happening on the PC and Mac versions of The Sims 4 and brought over changes and updates to the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One versions.

SimGuruLegacy

[toddlazarski]

Last Suppers Vol. 2

Shepherd Express

In the days B.C.(Before Covid), when normal life, and more importantly, sports, proliferated and dotted the rote landscape of daily routine, I held a superstition with any of my real or fantasy teams: they wouldn’t play well if I actually watched. It was best I averted my eyes, distanced my associative bad juju. Nowadays, I do the same, except with the only statistical options: infection rates and confirmed cases and total deaths. I don’t look at virus numbers all day, then, when the house is quiet, the dishwasher humming, the lights half-off, I sit at the tiny kitchen table with a spoon and a pint of something chocolatey and my desperation and my phone and the giddy anxiety dread of a fresh-inked boxscore. It’s like I’m an immunologist with a gambling problem. Some combination of the ultimate-stakes card game scene in Casino Royale and the uncontrollable absurdity of Kramer betting on which flight lands first at Laguardia. Come the eventual loss, and then the shoulder-shrugged resigned finger-stabbing, the desperate working of the back triangle, the scrolling down, there is always a path to the only spot of hope in any news source today: an updated list of open restaurants and takeout offerings.    

This is how I eventually stumbled on MobCraft, or, rather, remembered it was there, barely safely social distanced outside my once-normal morning cycle of coffee and work, just another place before, another option, yet another in a too long list of new breweries, one I didn’t know how to take seriously before all this because I have a middle-aged mistrust of anything “crowdsourced.” In my mind it suddenly began burgeoning like a lighthouse, with the irresistible notion that homemade craft beer, and nearly equally curated pizza, could be brought to my car as I idled with my Spotify playlist and the safe removal of the other half. There are plenty of places to get either, there are plenty within blocks—Fixture has better pizza, Indeed has better beer—but here is both. Two birds, one stone. Or, as the day-appropriate analogy runs: two vices, half the infection chance. 

Later, as I ignored common sense to waste ever-precious paper towel squares on wiping down the rectangular boxes, I noticed the packages are ink-branded: ‘Hidden Kitchen.’ How apt. In the age of hearth-cooking and HGTV-backed open concepting, how hidden they’ve suddenly all become. Though here I wouldn’t really know, as I’ve still never set foot even on the curb outside. And, really, you’d think no one has, judging from the streets on a recent beer and pizza run evening. There was a couple with matching face masks at the corner of 5th and Bruce, and one guy on a bike, also in a mask that maybe you could convince yourself was a scarf, if you wanted to make it all seem less Cormac McCarthy, which I often struggle to do, telling myself the usual: “Well, it’s Sunday.” You could also just blame the weather—there’s still time in the season for that. Everyone just wants to be inside, sure. Or maybe he is, maybe they are—maybe we’re all—bank robbers. But getting off the Hoan at the Lakefront, circling up Clybourn and through the Third Ward, by the shell of the Public Market, a cold Colectivo, the only sign of life or movement is generally the streetcar, empty, running like a phantom reminder of how petty all our social media grievances once were. The city looks like a darkened backstage set, waiting. It feels recently completed, clean, ready, an up-and-comer, Cream City brick and Rustbelt charm and hints of the river rubbing against new development, Shake Shack and West Elm framed by turn-of-the-last-century port city industriousness. It’s an attractive potential leading man, wizened but spruced, primed for today, for a turn in the spotlight. To play part, the setting and co-star both, in the historic naming of someone—whomever!—to lead us out of this national nightmare. Now tumbleweeds blow down Water. 1st Street’s major pulse is two just-hanging-on taco trucks. Instead of simply taking the bikes away, Bublr has placed plastic bags over each individual docking station, they billow in the wind like a line of waiting ghosts, emphatic in doom declaration. Steny’s, empty, makes it feel like it’s too early. Anodyne, empty, like it’s too late. The expectation, the possibility here, is only for pizza and beer to take back to your little abode that by now feels half sanctuary, part jail. 

And once you are home, hands washed, boxes washed too, psyche shaken of the jarring urban emptiness, distracted just enough by HBO or Netflix, what is there but to eat and drink and discuss said eats and drinks? Yet, first, as a collective, writers, judgers, hall monitors and such, very clearly, as a commandment or some other kind of religious term, should agree: objectivity is rightly dead. There should currently exist no pretense of criticism. Any words spent on food or drink should simply be a celebration that we are still around, have health and funds enough to still eat and drink. Every meal is worth only the comfort it brings. My recent birthday dinner selection was Pizza Shuttle, and was met not with laughs, scoffs, but gentle understanding nods. This is for your soul, not your tongue, forget your mind. None of us are seeing our doctors for normally scheduled tire-kicking and blood death panels anytime soon anyways. In that spirit, Mobcraft might be the greatest restaurant in the world right now. 

Opening the boxes reveals a sort of paradigm of the flat bread-y, happy hour shareable brewpub pizza. It is in some way reminiscent of those things we are all missing the most: where you don’t feel like going out after a long day, then you go out anyways, and have something hoppy and local and loosen up, and unexpected alliances are formed by ABV, and there are ‘nother ones, and excuses made to selves and to significant others, and the coming weekend seems suddenly endless, eternal, what, in hindsight, feels almost, yes, maybe, blessed. And there is the realm of “one more” and somebody orders something from the bar to share, and everybody gets a wedge and pulls without cootie and corona paranoia, and the collective cheese pull is beautiful, pizza delivery commercial Instagrammable. The soft, deep, focaccia-like layers house typically creative topping combos: mac n’ cheese with pulled pork, a pungent gyro number with shaved lamb, a reuben pie with sauerkraut for those that prefer to sleep alone. Or there are more standard takes—pleasing marinara and pepperoni, with stretchy, blankety mozz, pleasant dusty crust flour fallout that snows softly down on the sweat pants and couch, lovingly sprinkled oregano flecks, cheese and edges just going brown toward crisp, but everything immeasurably pillowy, like a salty, saucy padding to smooth life’s edges just a bit. The “Pollo” has become an overnight favorite, featuring chicken chunks, the underutilized brotherly punch-in-the-arm of poblanos, bacon bits, velvety, guilt-inducing Alfredo sauce. It’s neither Italian or Mexican, craft or common. It is simply a feel, that of comfort pizza done with deft touch, a happy taste experience, now especially, arriving on the nostalgia spectrum somewhere between a Grandma slice from a Brooklyn street corner, whatever doughy carb-and-sauce bomb you used to get way too late at night in college, and elementary school cafeteria pizza day square. 

But you also can’t leave a palate sodium-parched. So there is the accompanying, expected microbrew tome of types and tastes—a cranberry farmhouse ale, a coffee brown brew, things fermented in barrels, limited offerings of ideas pitched by the public and then voted on by any Joe Six Pack with the internet, the flavor winner then brewed in house—most any to be jogged to your car in the ultimate “this is more like it” lesson we can take away from pandemic times. But it is mostly the distinct, pungent mouthfeel of a hazy IPA—”Squeezin’ Juice,” dry-hopped and 6.7% potent—that acts as total counterpoint to the state of existence right now. There is something of a citrus dance, a zest, a subsequent scrunched-up-face of bitterness showing reaction, any kind of reaction really indicating a defiant act of living. Even if it comes from a sip taken sitting on the couch, in the basement, solo cheersing another year gone by, alone, knowing everyone in the world is mostly doing the same, is in some state of either worrying, or sleeping, or dying. This is probably why even the fizzy astringency of kombucha tastes good to me right now. And probably why the thought of a crowdsourced brewery, whatever that really means, is totally fine.  

By the time the pizza is done and the ice cream too, once the music and news of the day has been faced, when the blindfold is ready for donning, it’s like the next year wish all sports fans know too well. Tomorrow, for sure. The numbers will tumble with lead boots-weight in the right direction, a vax will appear imminent, a treatment will truly show promise. If not, there will be some leftover pizza. And maybe one juicy IPA to sink down with.  

[imaginesgalore]

The Few, The Proud, The Emotional

Ceiling Fans and Idle Hands Series (Part 1)

Author: Mac

Prompt: mental hospital

Ship: Joshler

Warnings: There are a lot of different mental illnesses through the entire thing so if you are triggered by any of that I would not suggest this fic. Stay safe my friends.

Josh's POV

He lays back looking up at the ceiling the foreign place seemed so cold and dark. The walls seemed to have seen so many things they seem to slowly be closing in on the room making it smaller and smaller. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Its not real. It. Is. Not. Real. He tells himself trying desperately to fall asleep. It is his first night here. His parents admitted him after the first attempt a few nights ago. He knows they were just trying to help and he also knows he wants to get better and he wants to not feel like this anymore. What he doesn't know is how any of this is going to help. He doesn't get how being around a bunch of depressed people will help him get better. Eventually he falls asleep the slow steady sound of the ceiling fan spinning.

Tylers POV

"There is no way that DC is better then Marvel" Tyler argued.

"No! DC has superman and batman! It's so better!" Brendon disagrees then lays down a few cards getting rid of the card on his stack. Skip-bo is the two friends favorite game to play.

"Yeah but Marvel has Iron Man and Captain america and Deadpool. So I think I win" Tyler retorts laying down a few cards once it is his turn.

"Whatever" He says then lays down a card and looks up at the door to the common room as someone enters. "Hey look fresh meat" Brendon says quietly.

"Would you stop with that. They are not fresh meat they are people who came to get help just like us," He looks up and almost drops his cards.

The boy who walked in is amazing. His hair was dark on the sides and deep blue on the top like an ocean. His eyes are a deep mocha color that Tyler wouldn't mind getting lost in for hours.

The boy keeps his eyes down the entire time he walks into the room and takes a seat in the corner.

"You might want to stop staring you're going to scare him" Brendon said with a chuckle. "He's hot though"

All Tyler could do is nod and look back to his cards. "Yeah yeah it's your turn".

"Oh right. I thought I'd wait until you were done gawking at him" He says with a smirk and sets down his cards "So are you going to go over there and say hi?"

"Do you even know me?" He laughs taking his turn and winning the game "Hey! I win!" He says standing out of his seat excitedly.

"That's like the first time since we've met!" Brendon adds with a laugh.

"Oh shut up" He says sitting down again glancing at the blue haired boy. "So what now?"

"I think we should introduce ourselves to the newbe over there"  Brendon said collecting all of the cards.

"No way. You can go ahead but I think it'd be better if I stayed here, ya know?" Tyler says looking from Brendon to the blue haired boy and back.

"Fine okay but for all you know he could be the newest addition to our little group"

Josh's POV

Josh chooses to sit in a chair farthest away from everyone. He has never been the best at making friends so he keeps to himself until someone sits down next to him.

"Hey, you're new aren't you?" The boy says. He is only a few inches taller then Josh and has dark brown hair that is shaved on the sides and longer ontop. He is skinny to the point that it almost looks unhealthy.

"Um yeah" He looks down at his hands nervously. Josh isn't used to people just walking up to him and starting a conversation with him. Before he came here people tried to avoid him as much as possible.

"Well, I am the coolest guy around this joint and you look like you're in need of a friend" The boy cleared his throat looking at another boy sitting at a table across the room then back to Josh. "My name is Brendon"

"Josh" he responded trying his best to give Brendon a smile.

"Well Josh its a good thing you met me because I have a feeling you will fit in with us just fine."

"O-okay" Josh tried his best to not be as timid as usual after Brendon seemed nice enough.

"The rest of the guys are coming in in a minute you should come sit with us. I'll introduce you to everyone", Brendon stood up and looked to Josh expectantly.

"Um...Brendon...I don't really do well with large groups of people"

"Oh, they come in one at at a time so it wouldn't be like pushing you into a group of people but if you don't want to that's cool" Brendon said looking slightly disappointed.

"That should be okay" he doesn't want to disappoint the first person who has been nice to him.

"Okay we sit over here" He gestures for Josh to follow and heads over to the table where the other boy is seated. Josh sits across from the the boy and next to Brendon. The boy is about the same height as Brendon and he has dark brown hair as well but it is shorter than Brendons and a bit messier. His eyes were a beautiful hazel color but there was something deeper hiding behind them and his smile was sweeter than honey. It makes Josh wonder how someone could be such a contradiction like this.

"Tyler this is Josh, Josh this is Tyler" Brendon introduced.

"Hi" Josh half smiled.

"Hey, Nice to meet you man" Tyler said with a smile. "Brendon wasn't to weird was he? He can be sometimes"

Brendon glared at him in a what Josh thought to be a playful way. "Oh shut up Tyler, I'm not weird I'm awesome"

Josh chuckled "No he was fine."

The sound of a door opening and closing made all of them look up. In walked a short sweet looking boy. His hair was a blond color and he smiled as soon as he layed eyes on the group. He walked over and sat down next to Tyler.

"Hey Pat. This is Josh, he's new" Brendon introduced like he said he would.  

"Hey, I'm Patrick" The blond haired boy said.

"Josh" He said nervously as the boys looked him over.

"Well Josh its cool to meet you, we will try to help you as much as possible" Patrick said with a sweet smile.

"Thank you" He responded genuinely glad that some people are nice to him here.

"Did I beat Pete out this time?" The boy now known as Patrick asks to no one in particular.

"Yeah you did. He's taking longer than usual it must be a good day" Brendon answers looking  up at the door as if waiting for someone. "So is Ryan"

"Um where are they?" Josh says quietly pulling his sleeves to his palms and holding them there with his fingers.

"Oh um we have days when we go to see our therapists while the rest of us are out here in the common area. You probably have it tomorrow like Brendon and I" Tyler answers while Brendon and Patrick talk about something else next to him.

"Oh. Thanks" He couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with those hazel eyes and he wasn't really sure why.

"Ryan!" Brendon practically yelled from the seat beside him causing Josh to jump slightly.

A boy with brown hair that frames his face sits down next to Brendon pecking him on the cheek. "Were you afraid I wasn't coming or something?"

"No, no I am just excited to introduce you to our newest addition" Brendon turns to Josh. "Josh this is my boyfriend Ryan"

"Hey" Josh said waving a sweater covered hand.

"Hey man, welcome to our little clique." Ryans greeting earned a laugh from all of them but Josh who doesn't get what is so funny about it.

"Pete should be out any minute" Brendon informs them all. "Then we can do the real introductions" For some reason the way Brendon says this has got Josh starting to worry. He doesn't know why but something about real introduction worries Josh. He doesn't want to scare away the only people who have been nice to him so far. But of course he knows that they are all here for their own reasons and would probably be pretty hard to scare away.

"There's my favorite group of weirdos!" says a boy with eyeliner and black hair as he sits down next to Patrick.

"Hey Pete!" Patrick says clearly very excited to see him. Josh can't help but wonder if they are dating too.

"Pete this is Josh" Brendon says gesturing between the two of them. "thought he might fit in well with us"

Pete looked him over a few times before cracking a smile. "I like your hair man"

"Thanks" Josh says with a small smile. "Only way I could outwardly express myself ya know?"

"Yeah I know" He says then looks around at the group. "So what are we going to do today now that the whole gang is here?"

[entergamingxp]

Creaks review – great puzzles in an eerie underworld of living objects • Eurogamer.net

Amanita Design’s latest is a game of vast but delicate imagination, at once rambling and toy-like. Released alongside a crop of triple-A games that demand to be played for days, Creaks has the soothing conciseness of a key fitting into a lock. Its entire world is visible on the main menu from the outset: a vast underground fortress, winding down from observatories and libraries to laboratories and submarine grottos. The protagonist, a charmingly timid man in shirt sleeves, stumbles into this strange, buried reality after crawling through a hole in his apartment wall.

Creaks review

Developer: Amanita Design

Publisher: Amanita Design

Platform: Reviewed on PC

Availability: Out now on iOS as part of Apple Arcade, available on PC, PS4, Xbox One, Mac and Switch on 22nd July

As in the developer’s celebrated point-and-clickers Machinarium and Samorost, this is more of a hoard than a world: a dingy trove of objects pilfered from the far corners of the Earth and the guts of history. It’s as though somebody had turned Gormenghast into a wonder cabinet, packed with busted clocks and dinosaur skulls, mouldering books and statues, all drawn with a florid, impressionistic hand that seems positively allergic to straight lines. Also as in Amanita’s other games, this is a world on the brink of destruction. Something enormous and angry is climbing around the exterior of the fortress, demolishing whole rooms with a sweep of its claws. A small flock of quaintly dressed bird-people are trying their best to dislodge it. You’ll glimpse their comic efforts through gaps in the woodwork as you wander downward from puzzle to puzzle, seeking the route back to the surface.

Told without words, the plot is simple but suspenseful, an eerie bedtime story for the kind of child who spies monsters in wallpaper patterns. The biggest twist is the protagonist dropping his torch during the descent from his apartment – this is decisive because many of the castle’s objects come to life in the dark. In the workshops near the summit, secateurs flex their jaws like butterflies testing their wings. Painted kites eye you with tigrish amusement. A setting that reminds you initially of Neil Gaiman’s Coraline starts to feel like a coral reef, its heaps of bricabrac reacting gently to your passage.

Some objects are animate enough in the gloom to be dangerous. Stubby chests of drawers transform into guard dogs, charging anybody who comes near their baskets, voices booming like the slam of filing cabinets. Ornamental globes become flying jellyfish, coasting left to right. Gushing drainpipes become snuffling elephant trunks. Chairs shapeshift into skittish goat-like creatures. Coatstands, rather terrifyingly, turn into thorny Halloween spectres who mirror your movements providing there’s space to do so.

All of these creatures will kill you instantly if you bumble into them, but you’ll need to “collaborate” with them to solve puzzles. Once safely neutralised by the glare of a ceiling lamp, objects can be dragged around to serve as platforms or used to weigh down pressure panels. Puzzles are rarely as straightforward as trying to petrify every last creature, however, and in any case, those lamps (some of which can be wirelessly activated, once you acquire a certain item) are few and far between. Typically you’ll need to exploit their unnatural mobility, weaving a path for them by raising or lowering barriers, dropping bridges and, most satisfyingly of all, using other creatures as obstacles or provocations.

The dogs will chase after the goats, for instance, but are scared stiff of the jellyfish creatures. You can exploit this to pull them out of position while you’re off doing something else, like pushing a button to raise the drawbridge between the dog and the area’s exit. The jellyfish patrol horizontally, but always try to fly up or down a level when they bump into something. You’ll often find yourself racing them around the screen, creating gaps for them as though arranging the track in front of a slow-moving train. Sections featuring coatstands are about working out how to move two objects in parallel through different combinations of obstacles, tripping the lights to lock the dreadful thing in place so that you can alter the distance between you.

All of which might sound quite dry and mechanical. Creaks is anything but. The puzzle props are beautifully characterised, from the look of huggable dismay on a dog’s face when it can’t return to its basket, to the atrocious giggling of the coatstand creatures when you leave them idle. Necessary as it may seem to reduce them to sets of behaviours trapped in single-output logic boxes, I never stopped thinking of them as characters. I certainly never thought of them as enemies. Each creature’s quirks also make the puzzles easier to read: the dignified way the jellies peer up and down when they meet a wall reminds you, for instance, that they’d always rather ascend than descend.

Creaks has other ways of teaching the player. As wonderful as the hand-painted levels are, with their balance of summery and funereal colours, stained glass windows glowing above shelves of dusty bone, the audio is more impressive. Each puzzle has its own track, and those tracks layer up as you progress through each puzzle – a tickle of piano, a deepening of the percussion, to let you know that you’re heading in the right direction. It gives Creaks a momentum that might keep you plugging away to the end in a single sitting.

The real touches of genius, however, are probably the collectables. Tucked away in corridors and alcoves around the fortress are a series of opulent mechanical oil paintings featuring avian figures in period attire. Some of the paintings are just wind-up musical scenes, operated by yanking a chain. Others are full-blown mini-games, feats of faux-clockwork puppetry with buttons and levers around the frame. There’s a panel-by-panel maze involving a lost cat, an endless runner, a sword-fighting game, even a playable opera recital. None of these minigames are challenging – they’re just arcane baubles to keep your brain ticking over between logic puzzles – and there’s no reward for playing them beyond the sheer joy of doing so.

Creaks shouldn’t take you longer than 10 hours to finish. Shortly before the conclusion you’re treated to an elevator ride back up through the fortress, passing many of the puzzles you’ve wrestled with in reverse. It’s a nice way to sum up, as though the player’s path were a bow tied around the world, but what pleased me most about this retrospective tour was that I didn’t need it. The bits and pieces of those conundrums were still fresh in my mind, like I’d polished them off moments before. That kind of clarity is rare, especially in the context of such tumbledown art direction. If you’re weary of exhaustingly inexhaustible blockbusters, I’d set aside some time for Creaks. It won’t ask for much, and it gives so much in return.

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/07/creaks-review-great-puzzles-in-an-eerie-underworld-of-living-objects-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=creaks-review-great-puzzles-in-an-eerie-underworld-of-living-objects-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net

[impurelight]

Mac OS High Sierra - ♪ I Love It ♪

I recently installed the High Sierra public beta and I'm glad I did. Let's go back to WWDC 2017. Craig uttered this brief statement that felt like an afterthought, "We even moved the window manager to use Metal." I believe he also said something about how the most difficult animations would be accelerated using Metal or something. But this didn't seem too important to Apple in the grand scheme of things.

When he said this my ears perked up. Could it be? Has Apple finally fixed the stuttering of animations? I have wanted to try High Sierra ever since. And now that I had some time with High Sierra I have to say that this change does indeed fix those issues. 99% of the time anyways.

When I first got my Pro the animations were noticeably choppy. So much so that I kept the resolution at 1280x800 rather than the retina resolution of 2560x1600 just to avoid the choppiness. High Sierra is not perfect. There's definitely a little bit of choppiness going on, especially when moving from a full screen application to the desktop, and I suspect the animations aren't a crispy 60FPS.

But the difference between Sierra and High Sierra are like night and day. I can finally use my Mac at the retina resolution without pulling my hair out in frustration. It actually looks like the demo laptops in the Apple Store.

This makes me a lot more hopeful for the MacBook Adorable. The graphics on that thing should be about the same as my MacBook Pro so I'm a lot less worried about stuttering on that now.

That's the really big thing in High Sierra. This choppiness that was present since I got it has finally been fixed. But there are a few other important changes I'd like to discuss.

First is APFS. I thought this would be a bigger deal than it ended up being. Every time I need to change the file system I've had to format a drive so Apple doing it in place is basically magic.

In fact they did it so well I didn't even notice anything changed. When it restarted after the update it showed me all my Windows from before I restarted, a feature I'm shocked Windows has not copied yet, so I didn't know if anything actually changed. I had to look at my disk properties to see: APFS, oh, it actually worked. Speaking of which the main drive now appears in the Finder side bar. A small change.

I haven't seen any speed improvements yet. My Mac was fast enough already. I've seen APFS actually doing worse compared to HFS+ in benchmarks. I'd suspect that's accurate. From what I hear APFS has to write more and more detailed metadata. But in real world scenarios it may be faster.

Now let's talk about Safari. Safari has had perhaps the most changes out of all the apps I've used. First of all the block autoplaying videos is very nice. I know what you're thinking, "But how often do I encounter autoplaying videos?". And you're right but it also blocks youtube videos that are in the background. Not foreground ones, they work normally.

I open a lot of Youtube videos and they take a bit of time to load so sometimes I do something else and then suddenly the youtube video starts playing in the background. Annoying. In High Sierra it's no more. It's one of those things like picture in picture that I didn't think was such a big deal until I actually started using it.

Of course not all the Safari changes are so awesome. The 'always on' reader that they trumpeted is nothing more than an option to automatically open the reader view when opening a page. Also you can definitely tell Apple changed the title font here. I don't like it, hopefully I'll get used to it though. Also it is now harder to get out of the reader mode. You now have to physically click on the reader icon. This is very annoying as text to speech automatically enters this view.

I hope they change it; I already sent a complaint about it to Apple. I recognize a lot of people don't use Safari but I do because of the text to speech integration and the view all tabs options (that firefox removed for some reason).

The view all tabs is, first of all, much faster. It got the Metal treatment. They also don't stack the tabs anymore and they don't load all thumbnails at once. Probably to help with performance but it looks a bit janky.

There are also a few useful tweaks. This may just be me, but the battery life may have gotten better. Well, I'm reaching for the charger less. It might be because of Metal being less graphically taxing especially while watching YouTube videos or maybe APFS is allowing processes to be more efficient. I heard APFS allows for multiple processes to read a file now which I'd imagine increases efficiency by decreasing the reliance on locks and lends to more bursty tasks meaning more time for the CPU to be idle. But what do I know? It could just be me, though, I'm not using any tools to measure my battery life.

There's also a new Wifi icon. At least I think it's new and I believe status bar icons have been spread out a bit more. Finally there is HEVC and HEIC. HEIC will probably become a big deal but I don't see it being important for a long time.

HEVC is overrated. Sure, the OS supports it. But I never use the built in video player so the only benefit I'll get is files encoded in H.265 will now have thumbnails. Because apparently a lot of video players already support H.265. I'm using IINA, basically a prettier version of VLC, and it supports it. I think Apple just popularized it, they aren't actually doing anything meaningful with it. Just like how Apple popularized Helvetica fonts, well they did for me anyways. So this next section concerns mostly H.265.

The hype for H.265 is real. H.265 video takes up a lot less space compared to H.264 and I have not noticed any performance dip when playing it back at 2x speed. I used to compare video codecs to see which one used the least space. I stopped because the change was never that significant (like 10%) but H.265 might get me into it again as using handbrake the difference in size is like 50%. It's huge.

The only downside to H.265 is that video is too clear. Using handbrake the outputted video appears to be less grainy. The difference is slight but it's there and you'll probably notice it on some level when viewing low res video although to actually see what's going on you'll have to compare individual frames. The H.265 video just doesn't seem as crisp. I believe these are compression artifacts being stripped away. This makes the video look a bit softer which I don't appreciate. Now I know why many games have a graphics setting called 'film grain'.

The weird thing about handbrake is it saves H.265 files using .mp4 or .mkv file extensions. When I save a H.265 file I expect it to be using a dedicated H.265 file extension like .hevc. This is like saving a JPG using .png or a markdown file as .txt or an mp3 file as .wav or a GIF using .jif. Madness. Absolute madness. Well that's video codecs for you. They make no sense.

So the last thing I'd like to talk about are the bugs. There's definitely a lot of them in High Sierra. However when I restarted my Mac, like actually restarted not that automatic restart that happens when you upgrade, things got a lot better. Still a few bugs though.

Update: This only applies to public beta 1.

All in all High Sierra is stellar release. I think one of the Mac OS versions promised to fix a bunch of bugs. But I never noticed any differences. And new OS versions in general, whether it be Windows, Mac, iOS, Android, or even Linux have gotten pretty stale with only the occasional feature appearing every so often. High Sierra feels like a big upgrade. If only because it fixes a problem I've had for so long.

[delectablyweepingnightmare-blog]

Online Education and Online Jobs - Resurrecting Productivity

New Post has been published on http://eduandlearning.tk/2017/06/16/online-education-and-online-jobs-resurrecting-productivity/

Online Education and Online Jobs - Resurrecting Productivity

I do not know if you're like me, but I dream of a job that gives me flexibility of time and location. I find myself searching through the employment ads of Craigslist.org or our local big classifieds site on KSL.com for legitimate jobs that allow for me to stay employed at home. Most are the "business opportunities" and are scams with companies trying to take advantage of the dreamers like myself. Truth be known, I do not know if I could handle a work at home job right now in my life. I have a three year old and a one year old at home, and a list of honey do's that keeps growing from my wife. I find coming to an office is a break at this point in my life, but I know many people may be ready for a work from home career.

That got me thinking and wanting to help others thinking about a work from home career or even thinking about getting their online degree. Those students who are able to develop the discipline to go to school, graduate, and get their online degrees are much further ahead in their modern day work ethics. There are so many distractions at our fingertips now a days that you really have to have a plan of attack to stay focused on tasks and to do what needs to be done. I thought I would try and put together a list of things that have distracted me when working from home and / or studying from home, and actions to overcome the distractions.

Distractions and Actions

* Television * Music * Pajamas * Empty Stomach * Instant Messenger * Unnecessary Programs * Schedule * People / Family * Internet * Computers and Software

Television

If you have a television in your office or study, remove it from your office or study or at the least, TURN IT OFF! If you're a YouTube addict, turn off YouTube. You can even block it using OpenDNS.com or other website blocking services. This can help you to overcome your YouTube addiction.

Music

Have you ever found yourself jumping up out of your office chair and playing air guitar and taking the lead on the microphone, right in the middle of something very important that needs to be done? Well that's kind of distracting is not it? If your music is distracting you, then you should do something about it. Change what you are listening to, turn it down, or turn it off. Music during work and during studying is not meant for entertainment, it should support your mind in processing information.

Pajamas

When working at home it can be easy to just work in your underwear and not completely commit yourself to the day. I alway recommend taking a shower and getting ready just like you were heading into an office or up to school. This will help you mentally feel ready for the day and feel like you have already done so much. You should always be ready for any situation and respect yourself, your family, and / or your roommates with good hygiene. 🙂

Empty Stomach

An empty stomach can have a distracting effect. Make sure to feed yourself. You are less likely to get up and snack if you fill your stomach first. I know I often times find myself getting up and snacking all day long. Get what you need and bring it to your office. Schedule breaks for snacks, but treat them like mandatory 15 minute breaks every 3 hours or so. Do not make them every 10 minutes.

Instant Messenger

More recently I've tried to create a separate Instant Messenger account for work. This has preceded a lot of BS conversation. I know I start a lot of unnecessary conversation over IM. If you get enough friends, the IM conversations never end. Do not abandon IM altogether, but turn it off when working or studying. Instant Messengers can be a great way to network, but there should be a reason that they're on. Same can apply to Twitter. This applies to text messaging too. Turn off your phone if it's too big of a temptation and becomes too big of a problem.

Unnecessary Programs

I'm sure most of you have plenty of different programs from graphic design to Twitter programs. You should eliminate any distractions that are caused by idle programs. If you need a program you can always reopen it, but do not leave it sitting idle, shut it down. This will also improve your computer performance by not consuming computer resources.

Schedule

Goals require game plans. Your work day or education should have some kind of a schedule. Just because your schedule can be flexible does not mean you just do things whenever. You should create a set schedule for working or for studying and doing homework. The flexibility should only be used when it has to be used. Remember that when you take some time out of your schedule you have to put it back in. Flexibility just means that things that are usually done at a specific time can be pushed off to another time. You need to make up any lost time without disturbing the rest of your schedule. This is often times the most important element when it comes to working at home or doing school from home.

People / Family

When working or schooling from home, boundaries need to be set with your family, friends, and / or roommates. They need to respect your time so you can keep your job and / or get your education. It is much easier for them to respect your time if it is scheduled out. When they do not know the next time you are going to be available, then it's easy for them to justify disturbing you. That's why a consistent schedule is so important. An office with a door and a lock never hurt at all either. It's nice to create a work / study space. Heck maybe even get yourself one of those "OPEN" signs or some sign that helps to illustrate to people that you do not want to be disturbed. You can teach your kids to understand the sign and to leave mommy or daddy alone when the sign is on.

Internet

The internet can be a distraction in a bunch of different ways. First of all the obvious, do not look at stuff that is unrelated to your goals and tasks for the day. I think the internet is the leading cause of ADD now a days. It's way too distracting and easy to lose your bearings for the day. Second thing that can be distracting is the speed of the internet. You have committed to work or school from home, invest in a decent internet connection. Find something that is quick and reliable. You should be able to write it off on your taxes so you might as well get the good stuff. Sometimes schools and employers will help pay for the connection.

Computers and Software

OK, the last one is the one you've all been waiting for. If your computer sucks and is slow, get one that will help you be more productive. A computer that just works and requires less maintenance. This is a loaded discussion. My two cents is to get yourself a Mac. Sometimes your employer or even your major at school will have required programs you have to use and may require a Windows machine or vice versa. Make sure to ask the right questions to your school or employer before getting a new computer. You may also find that there may be some software that will help you be more productive. Identify the things that you will be doing with the computer and get some programs that will help you be more productive. Again this should be a write off. When purchasing your computer and programs, ask about a student discount, most students get very deep discounts on software and computers.

Conclusion

Working from home or getting your online degree from home can be a difficult thing to do even though it looks much easier. It requires some organization and planning to make sure that your employer and schooling gets the necessary time and respect. You can apply these suggestions as a full time or part time employee. You can apply these suggestions as a full time or part time student learning their online degree or getting their online training. Make sure to organize what works best for you and respect yourself by executing what you have organized. Stay focused and good luck.

Source by Brandon Buttars

[thelabyrinthoftime]

Mind The Gap

I wrote a little bit about how I started playing this game as a kid, but didn’t get to finish it until many years later. I first played it when I was 9 and played it occasionally for a year or so. It’s easy to get stuck in the game, especially when you’re a kid. I can remember making it to the other side of the mirror maze for the first time, and quickly realizing that I reached another dead end (a card key was required to advance), and I remember being trapped in the section of labyrinth that’s past the mountain road- it was a while before I found the helmet, and for a long time, I felt like I reached a hopeless dead end with the construction site. I never put the pieces together that the numbers on the wall corresponded to the tile puzzle in the movie lobby. Even then, I’m not sure if I could have figured it out.

Some time later. I’m thinking I quit playing it after I had seen all that I could see with my progress, I remember noticing some other kids playing the game and looking around at everything. It was fun to just “look”. Actually, it’s still fun to play the game just to look around, and I still hunt for images, usually in the form of close ups and weird angles, that I’ve never seen before, but back then, it was the mid 90s, and we all feel in an interesting Goldilocks zone. A few years older, and we would have been adults, and maybe the novelty of the game wouldn’t have been marked with so much heart pounding excitement. As a kid, the imagination does wonders to extend those 8 bit images on the screen. How I wish I could still get THAT excited and lost in my own made up world at the sight of some pretty images. Had we all been born a decade in the other direction, computer games- even computer technology in general, would be taken for granted and there would be no novelty from such a game.

 Anyway, they happened to look at something I never paid attention to- the door to the south was sealed with a large screw. My mind immediately connected it to the ACME screwdriver, and my jaw dropped.

I convinced them to let me take control of the game for a minute while I retrieved the screw driver from the other end of the Labyrinth. I remember the three of us being on the edge of our seats as we bravely opened the large metal door and stepped out on that dark city street:

And before we can venture too far out, we’re struck by lightning! I’m sure we jumped, but it was followed by:

And then it went to the Surreal Maze, a place so bizarre, the game was unable to map it.

It probably took a few days or longer to get past the maze, and I arrived at the Ziggurat, and found a way to open the doors on the sides of the steps up to the top, but when I got inside:

And the game wouldn’t let me continue because it was “too dark”. I reached another dead end, and years later, I found out that this was the kind of dead end that you can’t undo.

And this was as far as I got in the game, and shortly afterward, that was the last time I played that game as a kid.

IT DROVE ME NUTS! What was inside that Ziggurat?

I also wondered about that city street, and the red light that foreshadowed your inability to cross the street. Because of the illustrations on your map, it’s obvious that there’s no where to go, but as a kid, I believed there had to be a way to get into the garage, or enter one of the buildings on the side. I even waited patiently for the light to change color. I wondered about what was across the street, too.

And for a game that had such a WOW! factor for me, it haunted me. I no longer had access to the game past a certain point. I tried to set up a time to purchase that very copy of the game even though I didn’t have a computer, let alone a Mac, that I could play it with. I would be a little more content if I just had that orange and black disc, but it never panned out.

For the next nine years, I would have the occasional dream about what came after the Ziggurat. I’d dream about night time at Revolver Springs, I’d dream about that damn Subway, and that feeling that something strange was about to happen. I remember dreaming about an area where you free fall in that endless sky... which is probably closer to the scenes at the end of the game than I realized, minus the falling part, and I remember dreaming about fantastic two story library with a spiral stair case. I think I was under the impression this was the end of the Labyrinth.

In wanting to have that experience again, I’d think about scenes from my own life, and how it’d be framed on the game screen with the icons at the bottom:

Somewhere in time, I discovered Art Deco. My love for Art Deco is connected to this game. Anytime there’d be a TV show that’d use the stock music heard in the game, I’d stop whatever I was doing and listen. There was a local commercial that used a different cut of the “sad piano” music (pastoral colours). Nickelodeon had access to the same stock library. There was one of those news stories by Linda Ellerbee that used the track, and there’s a classic episode of SpongeBob Squarepats all (six or seven) Labyinrth Heads like myself remember- the Hall Monitor episode where Patrick- alone at night with a walkie-talkie going “WEE WOO... WEE WOO” (a bad police car siren imitation) while he thinks something horrible is stocking him down an empty street.

There was an episode of the show Dream On that used the track, too, but I know nothing about the show, or the episode, or what was going on or why it was used.

My taste in music was no doubt colored by the game as well. I love stock music.

Back to those “in between” years, the internet became a more common thing to see and mess with when I was in middle school, and I’d eventually find the game for sale on eBay, but I had no way to get it... and still no way to play it. HA!

Then in 1999, I found a walk through of the game. This is the very reason I am extremely stubborn about going online for help when I’m stuck in a game. For all the “haunting” the game did, I ruined the game by reading about what followed post-Ziggurat. I learned that you needed to flip the levers in the Museum, and then- MOST IMPORTANTLY, go into the mine room, close the door, and find the lantern hanging, which was required to continue into the innards of the Mayan Ziggurat.

So... fast forward six years later, it was still “heart pounding” to see all these new areas, to see what that gold key unlocked, to see the inside of the Ziggurat, and to see what was on the other side of that strange door in the Cretan Maze. There was certainly more to see, more to do, but it all felt hollow because I knew what to do. Even though I read that walk-through years ago, I committed it to memory.

My first PlayStation game I ever owned (and still have) is RPG MAKER. Great game, great to use as a title maker when making home videos on VHS, and it taught me a lot about game programming. My own game development never got close to completion, save for a really lousy “port” of The Labyrinth of Time I made- this being before I finally got the actual game. I wonder if I still have it on one of my old memory cards. I bet I do.

But... yeah... it was great to experience TLOT again, but it was, at the same time, hollow, because there was nothing left to do but get to the end of the game, there was no idle exploration, no head scratching, just an attempt at closure.

But the game itself isn’t what makes it so special. I’m surprised that fans of vaporwave haven’t discovered this game. As my father might say, they’d be all over it “like stink on shit”. THIS is definitely a game that has...

Ａｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ. . .

The ray traced images, the 80s stock music, even the fact it’s a forgotten game would just make their heads explode. I’ve always said the game is like an art gallery or museum. One scathing review of the game when it came out suggested that TLOT should have been stripped down to its images and sold as cut rate clip art. Rather than take it as something bad about the game, it should speak to the quality of the art... and the...

Ａｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ!

I know I shouldn’t expect Bradley W. Schenck to make Labyrinth 2, but... DAMN! I wish he’d revisit TLOT in some form. It doesn’t have to be a game, if he’s sworn off ever working on a video game ever again. Back when I had money, I would have paid a nice sum of money to get large prints of scenes from TLOT, and I would have bought an equally expensive poster frame to hang it up in, too.

Anything from the Surreal Maze would have been amazing, especially if they were lenticular holographic posters. I loved the colors and patterns in the Mirror Maze, the detective’s office... really, only the most mundane settings would fail to get my money, and they were few and far between- like I probably don’t want a poster of a cave wall, or the gray muck that was the passageway to King Minos’s tomb... but if that were it, I’d probably cough up a few bucks anyway. These days are different, though, as far as my money is concerned. If my situation improves, I need to check out some of the writing BWS is doing these days, which feels like an extension of the “retro futuristic” stuff we see in the game.

I wish I was more motivated. I’d love to learn how to make ray traced 3D images, and see if I can emulate the look and feel of the game. I’d love to learn how to code to the point of being able to create a TLOT style game with a similar engine. The game doesn’t seem that complicated, but it’s still beyond my puny abilities to make a game.

Nonetheless, it’s on my bucket list.