#Matt just has a gay moment and bail

[mushroom-for-art]

Hey @mew-myself-and-i, I hope you're doing okay, I wrote this little thing as I unfortunately don't think I'll have time to art this interaction but like I do consider this talk like something that'd probably happen, as obviously its transitioned to summer in Paldea with Night and May is like me and probably burns easy so God dammit she will look out for the child and make sure he's careful and also tell him about all the good things too. I wasn't sure if your twos have a slight fluff fur layer or not so I went with they don't, hope that's okay! Honestly it's just a soft little thing of her looking out for him.

Summer talks

The older Mewtwo stood in front of the young two, it was morning and the babytwo was still awake despite being up most of the night and the adult decided to impart some wisdom to the young one while they were both awake, seeing as they did have different sleep schedules.

"Now Night as you may have noticed, it's a lot warmer than it was a few weeks ago that is because we are in the season known as Summer, this follows Spring and is followed by Autumn then Winter. Summer is when it is hottest due to something about proximity to the sun in our yearly cycle around it, I don't know exactly. I've never actually read up on it myself, the sun is hot." She shrugged awkwardly in her ramble, "now I know you're nocturnal but let me tell you what you should think of whenever it's Summer."

From under the trees near them her sleepy clone brother yawned muttering "Boys," having misheard the question clearly, the orange mewtwo slowly looked over at her brother who seemed to realize he'd said that out loud, "what?" He asked, pretending to have not heard himself.

"I think Night is a bit young to be thinking about boys, Matt." the more red toned brother awkwardly floundered, waving his stump a bit in exaggeration, opening his mouth and failing to come up with a quip or excuse, deciding instead to get up and fly off quickly to sleep elsewhere, leaving his sister to watch him in vague confusion but acceptance.

She sighed turning back to Night who looked just as confused but seemed to giggle in a way kids do when not fully understanding something, she smiled softly readjusting her glasses crouching to boop his nose saying, "you may understand that better when you're older. But what I was referring to is when you think of Summer you must think of sunscreen hats and hydration."

She stood upright saying, "now you're thinking, but Aunt May, I'm never really out in the sun I'm nocturnal, remember? And I say you're right but what if you miscalculate your shade when you nap? You may wake up with a nasty burn, I have unfortunately had my fair share. Or what if when you're older you turn into a human form and get burnt? Now you may be less susceptible to sunburns, you're a different hue to me and unfortunately my circumstances are I'm a frail little nugget." Night giggled as the older two smiled at them caringly.

She continued, "and, in summer the sun is persistent, staying out much longer rising early and setting late so you could still be exposed to late sunshine. And that's if you don't end up with a more diurnal sleep pattern as you get older, but any who's you'll just have to be aware of that when you're older but don't worry we'll make sure you're all sunscreened up."

Night nodded saying slowly, "what does, diur-urnal mean?" May smiled at his grasp of words and how he was getting cleverer and better at speaking every day.

"It means you sleep at night and are awake during the day, like me and Matt, the opposite of you who's nocturnal. There's also another one meaning awake at dawn and dusk but I can't recall its name," she waves a hand as Night again nodded in fascination with a soft woaw, clearly amazed by the different ways pokémon lived.

"Now if you do go out and about with your caretakers always make sure to wear your hat okay? Your head could get quite hot if exposed to the sun and you might get tired and grumpy, and make sure to drink water frequently." She didn't want to tell him about the dangers of heatstroke or heat exhaustion, just yet not while he was still young, she didn't want to scare him. She'd have a word with the others to be aware to keep him safe and well.

Night nodded saying "I will! I will! I promise Aunt May, the hat will never ever leave my head!" She smiled brightly at his determined little face.

"Good, you're a good little lad I know you will. Now I know I talked about some pretty serious stuff but Summer is also really really fun. I'm sure you'll have so many chances to enjoy ice creams and ice pops and fun summer festivals. The others might take you to the ocean to go swimming if you want or we can, acquire, a kiddy pool to paddle in if the oceans a bit big and spooky." She could see the young ones face light up in intruige.

"What's an ice pop?" He asked and May moved to sit down besides him under the tree as he came to curl up between her legs cuddled into her stomach as she started to tell the young two all about the different cold treats that came out during summer, the ice shavings, the slushies, the ice cream vans and milkshakes. She told him of the flavors, the combinations, the shapes that some even took from Vanillish snow cones to Scraggy ice lollies. She could hear him purring excitedly, starting to paw and pad on her stomach somewhere between excited grabbing to hear more and self soothing biscuit making as she continued to speak and tell him all about it. She only realized he'd fallen asleep when he mewed softly and she looked at him to see him cozily resting against her stomach using her as a pillow. Well, she didn't have any plans for today anyways and it was nice and shady where they were.

[markonasurface]

20/50 - “It’s 8:30, I have a hangover and you’re annoying me.”

Fandom: All for the Game/The Foxhole Court Characters/pairings: Jean, Jeremy/jerejean Summary: Jean and Jeremy tag along on the Foxes’ spring break trip. A/N: This has taken me too long to finish. I think I started it two years ago. I almost forgot to use the quote prompt.

Warnings: implied past abuse

“Kevin invited you to the Foxes’ spring break trip?” Jean asked, eyebrows high.

Jeremy barely glanced up from the text he was studying. “Mm.”

“Are you going?” Jean pressed.

“Are you?” Jeremy snapped.

Jean flinched and Jeremy’s mouth dropped open. “I’m sorry.” He finally put his studying materials down and turned to face Jean. “I didn’t mean to snap. I just - last semester, you know?”

“Yes,” Jean said, even though he didn’t. He felt the heat in his cheeks and internally cursed himself for not being able to control his reactions. Riko used to love to make him flinch. It was at one point worth the beatings for not giving him the satisfactory.

“So, are you going?” Jeremy asked, back to his normal self if a bit exhausted.

He bit the inside of his cheek and stayed completely still. It was hard being around Kevin but it might be nice. Kevin did whatever Riko told him to do but Kevin wasn’t cruel. He had learned from his therapist that he didn’t miss Evermore; he missed the familiarity of it. Kevin could give him a bit of what he thought to be normalcy.

“Jean?” Jeremy said quietly, patiently.

Jean looked up to meet his eyes. “I - yes.”

“You’ll have to give Kevin my regards,” Jeremy said and turned back to his text.

“You aren’t going?” Jean didn’t know if he was relieved.

“I should really study,” Jeremy sighed.

Their bedroom door opened and Jean jumped.

“Y’all left your door unlocked.” Laila fell onto Jeremy’s bed. “And you’re going to spend your last spring break studying? Come on, Jer.”

“Fuck off, Laila,” he said.

She nudged his chair with her foot. “I bet those Foxes get fucking crazy. I wish I’d been invited.”

“Take my invitation.”

Laila took a loud breath. “Mama Alvarez would have a cow if we bailed on her family trip.”

“If you don’t come they’ll probably stick me in a room with Hemmick,” Jean said.

“You could use the brea-eak,” she sang. “Also, see if they’ve picked up any new moves for finals.”

“Laila.”

She held up her hands in a placating gesture. “I’m kidding. Go. Have fun. Or you’ll burn yourself out and have to come back in the fall.”

Day 1

“An island? Seriously?” Thea stood with her arms crossed over her chest.

Kevin shrugged.

“I thought we were just flying somewhere tropical,” Jeremy added.

“Why are you all looking at me?” Allison demanded. “Neil’s the one who paid for this trip.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Neil said. “I recently came into some money.”

Jeremy sighed. “Right. N.B.D. I just rented an island.”

“Follow me.” A man in khakis and a polo shirt motioned for them. He had introduced himself as Frank as they boarded the small plane that brought them to their rented island.

It was a short walk through some trees and a large house came into view. There were gasps and one of the freshmen from the team said, “No fucking way.”

“Dude, how much did this cost?” Matt asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Neil said, leading the way through the gate.

They walked past the pool and its fountains, up some stairs and through double doors. As they all stood in the foyer,  Frank smiled and said, “Right. Everything’s stocked. I’ll be back at the end of the week. If you need anything, call the number on the refrigerator.”

Neil handed the man a cash tip and thanked him.

Allison looked around at everyone. “There are ten rooms. Neil gets first pick, losers.”

“You mean Andrew,” Jack mocked.

It was quiet for a moment then at once everyone raced to find a room. Jean looked at Jeremy and said, “They’re fucking crazy.”

Jeremy laughed as they heard Dan yell, “I’m your damn captain!”

They followed the shouting and as they turned a corner Jeremy ran into Renee. They both apologized, looking like literal sunshine and Jean bit his lip.

“They’re the guests.” Allison was staring down one of her teammates. “They get the room next to ours.”

Jeremy realized she was talking about them and opened his mouth. Renee shook her head, a warning in her eyes. Someone stomped by and Allison grinned.

“Welcome to the third nicest - who am I kidding? - the fourth nicest room on this island!” She gestured grandly. “And that’s saying something.”

Nicky popped his head in. “Fifth nicest. Andrew and Neil gave up the first nicest so they have the second nicest, Dan and Matt have the third nicest, and you have the fourth nicest.”

Before Allison could demand to know who got the glass room on top if it wasn’t Dan and Matt, Nicky ran off.

Jeremy looked as if he suddenly remembered something. “Did you two wanna share? I can room with Nicky or whoever.”

Allison cackled. She left the room.

“We’re not -” Jean started.

“We were never dating,” Renee said.

Jeremy’s eyes were wide. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed and uh, forget I said anything.”

Renee smiled kindly and backed out of the room. Jeremy looked at Jean who was staring at the one bed in the middle of the room.

“I can still room with Nicky if you’re not comfortable sharing,” he said.

Jean swallowed. “It’s fine.” He managed a small smile and said, “We share every other day of the year.”

After they unpacked, everyone seemed to congregate by the pool. Nicky and Andrew were situated behind the bar and Neil was perched on top, but everyone else was already swimming.

Jean glanced around nervously. Since joining the Trojans, he’d become a lot more self-conscious about the state of his body.

“You can leave your shirt on.” The voice startled him and he looked up at Neil, then glanced to see if Jeremy had heard as well. Then he realized Neil was speaking in his native tongue. “But nobody cares.”

Andrew spoke. “Ignore the freshmen. They’re idiots.”

“Where’s Kevin?” Jeremy asked, coming to sit at the bar.

“Fucking Thea,” a girl said, joining them. “I saw her take his shirt off but then they moved away from the glass.”

Aaron grabbed a tray of drinks from Nicky and sneered, “Do you have to be such a perve, Sheena?”

She stuck her tongue out at him, snagging a drink and flicking her wet hair at him.

“Like, Andrew said,” Nicky stated. “The freshmen are idiots.”

He mimicked Sheena’s face, nose scrunched and eyes narrowed, then asked, “What can I make for you?”

“Something that’ll make me forget I have my last midterm when we get back,” Jeremy grimaced. “Who gives a midterm after spring break?”

“I got just the drink for you.”

The sound of the blender going again cut off conversation. Sheena left to play chicken with her friends and Renee called Jean over.

“Don’t break anything!” Dan called from where she was laying out with Allison and Renee as Jean joined them.

“Here you go.” Nicky handed him a glass.

Jeremy held the drink up and studied it. “Are those silver stars?”

“Edible silver stars.”

Aaron came back with a tray in one hand and a girl’s hand in the other and said, “Nicky has to make everything gay.”

The girl hit his arm lightly with the back of her hand. She looked at Jeremy and held out a hand. “Katelyn.”

“Jeremy,” Jeremy said and shook.

“I made you both the same,” Nicky said, handing two more glasses over the bar.

“On three?” Katelyn suggested. “One. Two. Three.”

Everyone who had a drink took a large sip and more than one of them sputtered. “What the fuck is this?” Aaron gasped. “Did you just add ice and stars?”

Nicky shrugged. “Make your own damn drinks if you don’t like it.” He hopped over the bar and ran for the pool.

“You’re drinking this?” Aaron asked in disbelief and Jeremy turned to see Neil gulping it down.

After one large sip, Jeremy was already starting to feel warm. He took another sip, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. When he opened them he saw Renee running her hand down Jean’s bare back. How many times had Jeremy wanted to do the same?

He shook his head. He was such a lightweight. He’d never been one to party hard but he knew how to hold his liquor. The last year he’d spent more time studying and less and less time drinking and his tolerance was down. Clearly.

Day 2

By the second night, Jeremy was starting to realize the Foxes weren’t so different from any other college sports team if you took away the tragic backstories. Yeah, Jeremy would stick out if they all sat around and compared histories but - surprise, surprise - there wasn’t much talk about that.

Allison banned any talk of Exy and if she ever saw Neil and Kevin together she’d cock a brow and put her hands on her hips. Kevin would flip her off and she’d leave with a, “Fuck you. There are rules for a reason.”

It was making him miss his own team - the way they all fit together even when they shouldn’t.

Jean was there, but if anything he was part of the Kevin/Thea/Jean Former Ravens group or the Kevin-Neil-Jean-I-Was-Abused-By-Riko-Moriyama-and-Marked-For-His-Perfect-Court group.

He was different from a year ago when he’d first joined the Trojans but he still had his rough edges and hangups. And Jeremy saw it all.

Whether someone tapped his arm lightly without warning, or when he was flinching awake from a nightmare, Jeremy was there, trying to think of a way to calm Jean down without overstepping.

Jeremy had promised Laila he’d enjoy his spring break and be involved in all the fun things the Foxes did. Jeremy didn’t break promises. That’s why it was two in the morning and he was just starting to work on a study guide problem he’d left at five AM yesterday morning.

He groaned. Shots before homework wasn’t working for him.

“Jer,” Jean said, voice hoarse. “Come to bed.”

In his sluggish alcohol influenced state of mind, he almost thought Jean was asking him to come to his bed. His face flushed as he thought, What if Jean could read my mind and saw that?

He cleared his throat. “Soon. I’ll go to bed soon. I just need to finish at least three problems first.” Who was he kidding? He’d be lucky if he finished one.

“Okay,” Jean breathed, turning over and promptly falling back to sleep.

That was something that had surprised Jeremy. The way Jean could just sleep. He had expected his distrust to keep him awake at night. He guessed when you were tortured and worked to the bone, you had to take the sleep where you could get it.

Jean looked so cozy and peaceful, Jeremy wanted to be cozy and peaceful. He made the mistake of putting his head down on the desk.

He bolted awake when tentative fingers touched his arm.

Day 3

Jean flinched and Jeremy took a deep breath. “Sorry, sorry.”

“The others are going for a hike,” Jean said quietly though he offered a smile. “Apparently there’s a waterfall. Do you want to come?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jeremy responded, yawning and stretching. When he looked back at Jean, Jean quickly averted his eyes.

“They’re meeting by the pool.”

Jean hurried out, closing the door behind him.

Jeremy stretched as he stood. There was a crick in his neck that was making him regret last night’s choices.

He picked up a shirt off the floor and sniffed it. What did it matter? They were gonna get sweaty on their hike. He tried to shove away the thought of what would Jean think and changed into the shirt.

“Jer-bear!” Nicky greeted him as he stepped outside.

He squinted at the sun. It was only eight in the morning but it was already too hot. Jeremy couldn’t wait to get to the waterfall.

As they approached the start of the trail, two figures raced down the hill toward them. Thea pushed Kevin and Kevin shouted, “Hey!”

The two of them passed the sign indicating which way to go around roughly the same time and immediately Jean said, “Thea.”

“No one asked,” Kevin said, panting, but he didn’t look upset. “Besides, she cheated.”

“Prove it,” Thea said, hands behind her head as she gulped air. 

“Rematch.”

Nicky said, “Neil would beat you both.”

“With those little legs?” Thea looked skeptical.

“Show ‘em, Neil.”

Neil shook his head. “I don’t feel like it.” He paused and looked at Andrew. “I don’t run anymore.”

The way he said it gave the words weight and Jeremy felt like he was missing something. Neil and Andrew’s teammates groaned and Andrew looked unimpressed.

“That was really sweet, Neil,” Matt said.

Neil winked at Matt and Andrew muttered something that had him grinning widely.

“If we’re done with the cheesefest ...” Allison stomped past everyone.

The waterfall was breathtaking. Jeremy couldn’t believe something could be so untouched by man.

“What took you guys so long?” Thea called as she dunked Neil under the water.

Despite what he’d said about not running anymore, Neil couldn’t resist Thea’s challenge and they’d run ahead of the group with Kevin.

As some of the others dived in, Jeremy’s eyes searched for Jean. He was leaning down so Renee could rub some sunscreen on his face. Jeremy tried to stuff down the jealousy bubbling in his chest.

This wasn’t him. He didn’t get jealous. Certainly not of one the nicest humans to ever exist touching his teammate who clearly didn’t mind. He was about to turn away when Jean pulled his shirt over his head.

And how could he have such negative feelings when Jean was so obviously enjoying his spring break? After the first day, Jean didn’t even hesitate in stripping down and letting the others see him shirtless. As his roommate, of course Jeremy had seen him without a shirt, but it had been months before his first reaction wasn’t to cover up his scars. In the locker rooms, he always changed as quickly as possible and usually with his locker open.

Here, with people who had trauma, too, and who didn’t bat an eye when Jean took his shirt off, he was able to stop thinking about it. It made Jeremy sad that he wasn’t able to give Jean that around their team.

Jean turned around and Jeremy tried to pretend he hadn’t been staring. When he stood in front of him, he asked, “You okay, Jer?”

Jeremy swallowed once. He felt his cheeks get hot but hoped his sunburn hid his blush. “Yeah, just, um, enjoying the view.” He inwardly groaned. Jean had seen him staring at him. He scratched his cheek.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Jean said. He clearly meant the trees and the water. Jeremy was both relieved and disappointed. “See you down there?”

“Yeah.”

Day 4

Jeremy put on his noise canceling headphones and opened his textbook. He had to get this reading done. He wouldn’t allow any more distractions until he finished.

Not even a sleepy looking Jean poking his head into their shared room.

He removed his headphones and gave him a questioning look.

“We’re putting on a movie. Wanna join?”

Jeremy sighed. “Can’t. I should have finished this chapter two days ago.” Jean bit his lip, then he closed the door. “What are you -?” He sat on the bed.

“I don’t really like movies that much.”

It was a lie. Jeremy knew it was a lie, but he wasn’t going to argue. He remembered the look of confusion on his face the first time he heard Jeremy ask what movie the rest of the team would like to watch. He gave Jean a small smile before putting his headphones back on.

An hour later, Jeremy was lying beside Jean, who was dozing, his head on an open book. His head lolled to the side and pressed into Jeremy’s arm.

Jeremy froze and tried to keep his breathing even.

His eyes followed the line of Jean’s jaw. He liked this side of Jean’s face best. It wasn’t tattooed and it had less scars. He still liked the other side of Jean’s face - he liked his whole face - it was just easier to not think about the circumstances that brought him to his team when he could only see the right half of Jean’s face.

Day 6

“No studying tonight!” Allison yelled.

“But -”

“Jean told us you study every night after we go to bed,” she said. “It’s your last night. Enjoy it!”

Jeremy shot a look over to Jean at the bar who - was smiling? He shrugged at Jeremy before tipping back a shot.

Allison had made a list and passed it around to anyone who wasn’t a freshman. Any time one of the freshmen said or did something on her list, the others had to do a shot.

From the looks of things, Nicky, Dan, and Matt had gotten an early start on the game. Allison whispered, “Don’t worry if you can’t remember who’s who. Just drink when the rest of us do.”

Jeremy looked around at the team, then into the pool with its night lights on and glowing balls floating on the surface.

Renee came over and said, “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure no one drowns.”

When one of the freshmen girls made a pervy remark about Kevin, Nicky handed out shots. When one of the boys copped a feel off the girl and she pretended to be offended, he handed out two shots to every person. When a couple of the freshmen started making out, he got three shots - one for the act and two for the couple.

Things and time started to blur and Jeremy had no idea how much time had passed. They’d all eventually moved into the large house to get warm. Kevin and Thea had disappeared a while ago as had Aaron, Katelyn, and a few of the freshmen. Now Neil and Andrew were heading upstairs.

The music was loud, the lights looked brighter, and Jean was laughing. It almost made Jeremy smile, but then he realized he was laughing at something Renee had said. He wrapped an arm around her and leaned down so she could whisper something in his ear.

Jeremy left.

It was too difficult to watch and he didn’t want to say or do anything to embarrass himself. Allison grabbed his arm in the hallway and said, “You better not be going off to study!”

“No!” he shouted back. “I just need to lie down for a bit.”

Once he made it to his room and shut the door, it seemed uncomfortably quiet. He flopped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling as his eyes adjusted to the dark.

Jeremy was generally a positive person, but as he lay there, thoughts of Jean and Renee swirled around his mind. They said they weren’t dating. They said they’d never dated, but the whole week it was almost like they were a couple. They went everywhere together and partnered for every game.

He fell asleep, his mind seeped in jealousy and booze.

He woke up when Jean stumbled into the room, holding something in his hand. He vaguely registered music still pounding in the hallway.

“Hey, sorry,” Jean tried to whisper. “Everyone is asleep.”

“Okay?” Jeremy said.

“Renee made cookies.” He offered out his hand.

Jeremy might have sneered. “Of course she did. She’s amazing. She’s an amazing person. She’s an amazing goalie. I bet she’s an amazing girlfriend.” He was still drunk. It probably hadn’t been that long since he fell asleep.

Jean looked confused and timid. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Jeremy muttered, suddenly aware of how he must’ve come across.

“Are you jealous of Renee?” he asked, lips quirking.

Jeremy sighed and fell back on his pillows. “What? No ...” He looked over at Jean. “Okay, fine.”

Jean stepped closer and sat on the edge of the bed, looking over his shoulder at Jeremy. “Why?”

“Nothing,” he murmured, cheeks feeling hot.

“I’ve not been a good friend,” Jean said. “You’re just so friendly and easy going that I didn’t think you wanted me hanging around the whole week. And I figured Kevin would be taking up at least half your time.”

“That’s not - I mean -” Jeremy was at a loss for words.

“Then what is it?”

He threw an arm over his face, struggling to get a word out. 

“You guys are so close,” he finally said. “I guess I just want to be - close with you.”

“We’re roommates,” Jean said. “We are close. There’s no one I trust more.”

Jeremy sat up. “No, I’m gay.”

He shrugged. “Okay ... I figured -”

“I have these ... feelings ... for you ...” He knew his expression was pained and sad but he couldn’t help it. He had probably just ruined things between them.

“Why didn’t you just say that?” Jean asked as Jeremy’s head lowered and he shrugged. “I think I have ... feelings for you, too.”

Jeremy’s mouth fell open. “Really?”

Jean shrugged again, feeling self-conscious. “Yes. It’s why I’ve been hanging out with Renee so much this week - to get her advice about you.”

“I really want to kiss you,” he said in a rush. “I mean, if that’s okay.”

Jean held his breath, then nodded. Jeremy moved closer. Jean blurted, “I just - um, I need to set clear boundaries and I need you to respect them.”

“Of course,” Jeremy breathed. He watched as he bit his lip, looking like there was more he wanted to say. “Hey, it’s okay. You can set all the boundaries you need.”

Jean took a shaky breath. “I need you to take things slow,” he said, voice quiet. “I need you to be patient and not get mad if I can’t do - if I can’t -”

“Hey, Jean, you don’t need to do anything, alright?” Jeremy said. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me.” He reached out to take Jean’s hand but Jean flinched.

“I’m sorry, I -”

Jeremy held up his hand this time and slowly moved to grab Jean’s hand so he had time to move away if he wanted to.

“I’ve never - I don’t mean to flinch. It’s not you.” He lay down next to Jeremy and stared at the ceiling. Their arms were pressed together from their shoulders to their fingertips and after a minute, it started to feel comfortable. “I’ve talked about you in therapy because I wasn’t sure about what my feelings meant.”

He took long pauses between sentences but Jeremy didn’t dare to interject.

“Nothing that ever happened in my life ever was consensual.” Hard swallow. “Until you and the Trojans. I don’t know if I’m gay, honestly. I’m still figuring things out. Feeling anything confuses me. You’re the only person who offers something to me and lets me choose to accept it.”

“You noticed?” Jeremy was shocked.

“Of course I noticed. I was confused - at first - but it’s become everything to me. If this is too complicated I understand ... but I hope - I don’t know.” He sighed, frustrated with himself and everything leading up to this point that was making him unable to trust his own feelings.

Jeremy bit his lip. “I’m here. You’re worth the wait, Jean. I want to be the one you can figure things out with.”

Jean sat up. “What if - what if I’m wrong about this?” His voice was breathy and when Jeremy met his eyes, they were wet.

“Then we’ll stop and we’ll continue being friends.”

“I don’t even know if I can try.” Every fear seemed to be coming to the front of his mind. “What if I’m wasting your time?”

Jeremy sat up. “I don’t care. Can I hold your hand again?” Jean nodded. “If after everything, you decide you’re not gay, or you’re not into me, it will all be fine. I could never hold it against you. I care about you and nothing will ever stop me from caring about you.”

Jean’s gaze on his face was intense but Jeremy tried to keep an open expression. He meant what he said and he needed Jean to know that everything would be okay.

“Can I kiss you?”

Jeremy felt his eyebrows raise in surprise. “Please.”

Day 7

As they sat on the boat that would take them back to the mainland Jeremy couldn’t help the smile on his face. Jean was next to him, arm pressed right against his.

He looked behind him to where Neil and Andrew sat, space between them but hands linked on the seat. Andrew was looking off in the distance.

Jeremy opened his mouth to ask Neil a question when Andrew’s head snapped in his direction. “It’s 8:30, I have a hangover and you’re annoying me.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

“That smile on your face is making my hangover worse.”

Jean turned around. “Get used to it.”

1 Kevin/Thea 2 Neil/Andrew 3 Dan/Matt 4 Allison/Renee 5 Jean/Jeremy 6 Aaron/Katelyn 7 2 freshmen 8 2 freshmen 9 2 freshmen 10 Nicky

[lookatmerosalie]

Love’s Consequences, Sixteen

    For the first time in a hot minute, Austin and I get to just hang out in peace. Even though Tristan is in the house with us, we don't have to worry about anything, considering he knows now.

  I lay across the span of the couch, my head on Austin's lap. He's seated himself at the end of the couch to allow me to stretch out fully. While I lay on him, he gently strokes my hair and face. If heaven was a place on Earth, mine would be right here, in his lap.

  I look up at his face while he leans down. He makes his subtle double chin more prominent on purpose and I laugh. I poke his neck where he scrunches it together and he smiles. For a skinny guy like him, he sure does make a good double chin.

  "Okay. If you could go anywhere right this moment, where would you go?" I ask him.

  He thinks for a second. "Probably Italy. Probably have some family I could hunt down. Plus it's got some gorgeous views."

  "Can I come too?" I smile in a cheeky way. He boops my nose.

  "Yes, you have to. It's required." I smirk.

  "That's what I thought."

  "I have one. If you never met me and were going to guess my name based on what I look like, what would you call me?" he asks. I ponder.

  "Garth, destroyer of worlds," I smile. He laughs heartily.

  "Oh yeah? I look like a world destroyer?"

  "For sure," I wink. "But I'd probably think you were a Matt or a Will. That seems about accurate."

  "What about Austin?" he smirks.

  "Even if I didn't guess it, that would be my favorite one," I grin. He leans down and kisses me on the forehead.

  "Okay, your turn," he says.

  Before I even get the chance to think of another question, the doorbell rings. I sigh.

  Tristan comes out of his room, somewhat sleepily. Though it's already past noon, he clearly is up too early.

  "I'll get it," he says. I sit up so I'm next to Austin instead of laying on him.

  We quickly learn that Jade, Marie, and Josh are at the door. Nothing in this world is louder than Marie's voice, aside from Jade's voice.

  I hear the two of them squeal and run up the stairs as fast as their legs can take them.

  "We didn't get to see you two together much yesterday so we brought ourselves to you!" Marie cheers, taking a seat and making herself right at home. Josh stays on her arm and sits down next to her. It looks like there's nothing going on in his brain, but he seems content anyway.

  Jade ends up taking a chair from the kitchen and pulling it in the living room to join us. Meanwhile, Tristan awkwardly stands in the hallway, leaning against a wall. He doesn't say anything.

   "So, give us the details! How long has this been for? Did you kiss? Go on a date? When's your wedding?" Marie asks, sitting on the edge of her seat. I blush, not expecting a barrage of intrusive questions. Noticing my discomfort, Austin steps in.

  "Slow down a little, you're going to hurt yourself," he smirks. "Today marks two weeks of being together."

  Both Jade and Marie say "aww," nearly in unison. I can tell that this will be a long day already.

  "Woah, so you guys are like... into each other?" Josh asks, totally oblivious until now.

  "Yeah," I say, a little awkwardly.

  "Ooh, so you're both super homo. That's cool. I've never met a gay before. Now I know two," he smiles. What a catch. Austin purses his lips and doesn't even entertain him with a response. From a distance, I can tell Tristan isn't loving him being here either.

   Jade notices our awkward body language. "You guys look like you just met yesterday! Come on, show us the love!"

   My face goes even more crimson. Austin notices my tension and says, "We're not actors putting on a show, we're people." Jade cringes, feeling bad.

  "Sorry, we're just really excited to see you guys together. We think you'd work really well as a couple," she says.

  "I agree," I say, trying to break the tension. They laugh.

  Marie gasps. "We should all go on a triple date! Me and Josh, Jade and Liam, and you two!"

  Tristan glares. "Sounds fun," he chides.

  Marie turns around to face him, oblivious. "Yeah! And you can come with... uh... yourself?"

  Tristan, even more pissed off, stomps off into his room and shuts the door behind him.

  "What's his deal?" Marie asks. I roll my eyes. How can someone be so blind?

  Jade pauses for a moment. "Hey, Sammy never showed up. Is she busy or something?" she asks Marie. She shrugs in response. I look down.

   "Sammy needs some time away from us," I sigh. Austin looks at me, curious.

  "Wait, what did we do?" Jade asks nervously. I shake my head.

  "She had a crush on Austin, and he started dating me instead. She needs time to be away from us. Especially us together," I explain. Jade frowns.

  "I had no idea."

  Austin shifts awkwardly, not seeming to want to dwell on the topic.

  "Anyway, we just wanted to stop by to see you guys. You wanna come join us? We're going on some errands," Marie asks.

  "I think we're gonna pass. Thanks though," I tell them, lightly rubbing Austin's back.

  The three of them get up and we say our goodbyes. Austin lets out a sigh, given the reopened wound about Sammy.

  "Is she mad at me? Or you?" he asks, feeling guilty again. I purse my lips.

  "I can't say she's the happiest with either of us. But I did talk to her yesterday. You might need to as well," I let him know.

  "You're right. I'll get in touch."

  The two of us continue to sit together, but both of us linger on all the stress we've been dealing with quietly. I lean my head on his shoulder, and he wraps his arm around me. At least, through all of the hard stuff, we have each other.

   Tristan comes back out, still seeming angry, but a little less than earlier. He sits on one of the couches and says, "It's like she's trying to make me mad. What did I ever do to her?"

  "As much as I love Marie, she isn't always the most attentive. She's totally oblivious, man. You have to talk to her instead of getting mad," Austin says, a little irked. Tristan simmers quietly.

  We all sit in silence for a few minutes. Once we hear the garage door open, however, Austin and I shift away from each other a bit once again.

  Mr. Jacobs comes up the stairs, seeming giddy.

  "Oh, hey guys. Wasn't expecting all three of you," he smiles.

  "Hey dad. How was your day?" Austin asks.

  He grins. "Well, I ran into this woman today."

  Austin and Tristan both look at each other, apprehensive. Their dad notices.

  "Come on now, listen to this. She noticed my shirt and complimented it. We walked around the store together for a while and I got her number!" he says, leaning against the couch.

  "I'm happy for you, dad. I hope it goes well," Austin says, still a little wary.

  Tommy Jacobs has been a single dad for 16 years. If you asked either brother to pick their mother out of a lineup, they probably wouldn't be able to. Tommy never had much luck with women, but it doesn't help that his high school sweetheart ended up being mentally unstable and unfaithful. She's out somewhere now, probably across the country, continuing to take the easy way out and bailing on her sons.

  From what both Austin and Tristan have told me, their dad has a knack for finding a lot of divorced women looking for a quick rebound. As kind of a man as he is, he hasn't found that right person. I imagine having a failed marriage with two children resulting didn't help anything.

  "I know you both think it won't last. That doesn't mean I can't stay positive and keep looking," he sighs. Austin nods.

  "We just don't want you to keep getting hurt."

  Mr. Jacobs purses his lips. "Life is an uphill battle, and you'll come to realize this more and more as you get further along in it. But if you don't give effort, you'll end up rolling back down the hill and find yourself all the way back at the bottom." He pauses. "Someday I will find that right woman. Even if it doesn't seem like it now."

  He walks down the hallway and leaves us back to our own company.

  "He's right," I say.

  Austin looks at me curiously.

  "All of us have to keep trying. Tristan has to talk to Marie. We have to be with each other without fear. Even if we can't come out," I tell them. Tristan's face softens and Austin leans his head on my shoulder.

  "Even if we can't come out," he repeats, rubbing my back lightly.

[lacktastrophe]

Fair game and Sugar Substitute analysis

One of the things that I always found kinda sucked about keeping current on web-comics is with the update schedule. Though, not necessarily about the update frequency when new pages are uploaded (I mean, going back to one day a week from three is AWFUL, but considering it’s only for a year, I’ll live), but more specifically with the amount of content you digest at that moment in time. 

I’ve grown used to a pattern of glossing over a page before continuing with my day. This is about as good as reading a page out of a novel in much the same frequency; a page a week, getting on with your life, then on a following week try to remember exactly what happened on the page before without having to go there again to be continually up to date. Try giving that a go. Even with BCB’s previous three pages a week you tend to kind of forget what was explored earlier and you have moments where you don’t see the small details and how they fit into the page you’re reading now without going back. And who’s seriously got time to go back and re-read the chapter when it reaches its conclusion and read it from the beginning? Hahahahaha....

Well, we should be doing more of that.

I have been spoiled rotten by manga’s been run by teams as of recent. It’s always nice to see 30 pages or so produced in a months time, I have an easier time retaining knowledge of what’s happened in those stories because of the amount of pages you can consume in one go as opposed to once-a-week web-comics. I thought Homestuck got this right as well when it went to a weekly schedule instead of daily, and the updates started getting progressively larger (admittedly by this point, it was also being worked in a team). It was easier to retain knowledge of events, even if it was...a total clusterfuck by the end...

It’s worth going back and re-reading chapters once they’re all done. I tend to feel differently about them even more so once I see how everything’s come together. Now that Sugar Substitute is all wrapped up, let’s go back over Fair game and see where we’ve reached in this point of BCB’s story.

-

Fair game opens with a non-cast character celebrating a strike, we realise as Madison takes off her blindfold as the other characters celebrate and shout surprise to her, we’re at a promised birthday event for Madison from Moments apart.

We’re with the group of seniors we’ve been more than acquainted with over the last few years. Of course, Paulo’s here too, and we’ve also been joined by two of his friends, Daisy and David. It’s like Golden Hour, but this time Daisy’s here!

Jessica’s got the whole corner of the Alleyway booked so nobody can ruin their evening.

No weirdo’s allowed.

No weirdos, with the exception of both David and Paulo. When clown shoes are involved, so are subtle references to video game characters. 

Madison feels the need to ask who seriously invited these two idiots, and we’re scratching our heads. Technically, these two were only invited because Matt had begged Jessica to, according to the page comments. I’m guessing Madison still hasn’t gotten over her dislike of Paulo and probably never will!  On the plus side, this means they get the chance to have two teams of four running, instead of it just being Madison, Jessica, Matt and Jordan.

With the two exceptions to the rule aside, now it’s Jessica’s turn to be upset about the other let-down that evening; we’re off to a great start as Jordan invited Tiff again at her own disbelief. Tiff, the same girl who ditched him at the prom. Jessica is completely livid over Jordan’s persistence that he and Tiff could be a romantic pair despite so many problems over so many years.

Jordan is absolutely hopeless and keeps chasing after girls who are just impossible.

Paulo is also at odds with Jordan choice and confronts him over Roxy’s absence. He mistakes her name but Jordan knows who he’s talking about. Despite that they did get along together well at the prom, Jordan is still insistent that there’s a connection between him and Tiff.

But she’s already gotten bored and has decided to leave while they’re all talking.

Jordan chases after her, acting as if it was a mistake that she went out the wrong door. Only to find she’d gotten bored so quickly she had called for a ride as soon as they gotten there. She leaves on the back of someones motorcycle.

Sigh.

Jordan goes back inside and tries to save face, but nobody is surprised by the conclusion; Tiff has ditched him again, she isn’t coming back.

Paulo takes the time to grill Matt on his choice of potential love interests; Jordan is absolutely hopeless, especially when he had something good going on with Roxy. Why would Matt see ANYTHING good in someone as hopeless as him? 

Matt doesn’t know, he retorts with some incredible wit claiming it’s more or less the same attraction that Rachel has for him.

Apply wound to burn.

Paulo tries to stand on the same level as Matt to see what’s so great about Jordan. Failing to see some light in his personality, Paulo first tries to imagine if he has any physical attraction to Jordan, he doesn’t. He can’t even imagine Jordan as Lucy and see the same attraction. The two aren’t even alike. There’s no way this is working.

Matt explains Jordan has been there for him at his worst, Jordan’s optimism and upbeat personality giving him some inspiration that there’s more to live towards. We’re all familiar with some of the difficulties Matt’s had to face up until now, so his feelings towards Jordan are that of a real friend.

Paulo gives some thought to Matt’s answer. He can’t help but ask an ambiguous theory about what if ‘he liked him back.’ Matt asks him to clarify seeing as the question was quite open, and while Paulo does letting him know it was for him, we get the impression from his stutter he meant to ask about his own friends as well, likely David as how David shared his affection for him in Golden Hour.

Matt’s sadly sees his crush as only that; a daydream. Given Jordan’s affixation with Tiff, it’s hard to see him as anything other than straight. But Paulo isn’t initially sure given his own feelings, and starts wondering about whether the feelings he has towards his male friends himself is any less valid given he too has only ever chased after women all of his life. This thought process is derailed when Paulo looks away at that moment to Matt with a smug expression over his face, an embarrassed Paulo tries to distance himself from looking any further into it.

Matt might be getting some amusement out of this given how Paulo acted towards him in Golden Hour, but I imagine he’s also just happy to see Paulo slowly coming to terms with his feelings since that point and towards determining what they mean to him. We get more of an insight into why Matt’s like this towards Paulo in the intermission chapter, but this is some good progression from Paulo’s side, and it comes to eventually begging the question from Matt; He’s been crushing hard over Jordan for years despite being positive that Jordan is straight. Has he ever asked him the question and found out for certain?

Matt flusters, he’s too shy to even know how to go about asking in the first place.

Paulo’s things otherwise and suggests it’s not as hard as it looks. A straightforward procedure, simply ask; are you gay?

But, Paulo’s own foil to this direct plan of his, is his own insecurity to his feelings when Matt asks the question back.

It’s a subtle lesson to Paulo that sometimes the more direct method isn’t always the best method. Matt has previous experience having done so, finding himself ostracised when people he thought he could trust suddenly changed their minds on a whim.

Paulo feels terrible about the freak-out, he’s reminded of how he acted towards Matt in Golden Hour. Paulo asks Matt if he wants him to ask Jordan himself so they can find out once and for all.

Paulo isn’t too concerned about what others think of him and there’s no risk to Matt himself even if the worst happens. Matt appreciates the gesture.

We finally get to see some bowling soon afterwards! It’s easy to see who’s done this before as Madison and her gang are easily making short work of the juniors.

Jordan stops Daisy’s next bowl to try and help her out. As Paulo watches on, he can’t help but try imagining again about Jordan. Paulo slightly edges towards thinking that, maybe he does have some kind of attraction.

The teasing has to stop somewhere.

Paulo is still at odds with himself over it. He hates the idea of finding some attraction to someone as dorky as Jordan.

He tries to substite Jordan for Lucy in his own imagination, but suddenly, she turns into some other dork he knows about.

Oh boy, how the tables have turned.

We were teased with the idea that it was David Paulo had been thinking about, this might still be the case, but here, Paulo has instead got secret feelings for his own rival.

He falls off his seat in surprise, only to have Daisy come over to find out what’s going on.

Paulo’s freakout causes Daisy to panic herself, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable around her, but Paulo instead just tells her a fib that he was dreaming and she woke him up from it. Daisy doesn’t even stop to think about why he was sleeping at a party let alone a bowling alley, as she immediately goes to be reassuring to him that nothing could hurt him. She’s an interesting friend.

We finally get some of that best friend Daisy x Paulo bonding that had been absent since Daisy started dating Abbey back in volume 1, as the two talk about lucid dreaming. It’s very interesting to see that Daisy has some really interesting dreams herself about Paulo, even seeing Paulo as some kind of hero.

How cute!

Daww, Paulo says some lovely things to Daisy sometimes.

Paulo is still trying to work out his feelings, but as soon as Jordan gets up from his seat, it’s time for Paulo to get to work.

I hope you’re ready for agonising pain, because this next sequence is just the worst.

Paulo walks in just as Jordan is done in the bathroom. Paulo puts the moves on him just like the does with the women at school. Jordan initially mistakes the flirt Paulo gives as an everyday comment.

And it all goes downhill from here.

God, end it now.

We get our wish when Jordan tries to reciprocate Paulo’s feelings but tells him at the same time he’s not into him.

Paulo, acts quite embarrassed and initiates plan B; Bail!

Paulo coolly shouts ‘Sike’ and tries to play off the whole thing like a joke. An off-handed comment about his little sister however causes Jordan to forget about what happened and flip into defensive brother mode. We get subtle hints that Jordan has been at best tolerating Paulo’s presence in the group. He tells him to leave her alone if he knows what’s good for him.

It’s not hard to wonder why things are this way, Jordan had a theory from ages ago that her friends had done something to cause her to try and throw herself off a building. He’s not at all pleased to hear that Paulo still has his sights on her. 

It makes more sense in the intermission chapter but we cannot hope for more given this immature joke has done nothing but worsened Jordan’s opinion of him.

Thankfully for Paulo, Jordan is more mystified with Paulo’s skill at flirting than the game he played just before. He thinks to try and leverage some of that skill by asking whether Paulo could teach him some skills that he could apply on Tiff, but Paulo already has:

Dont...Date...Gold-Digging...Bitches. 

Marginally avoiding a totally catastrophe in the bathroom, the party continues unabated with grandma Madison celebrating her 81st birthday (alright we’re so over this joke now), and responsible teenage driving when seven of them fill into a five-seater car.

Very responsible.

Jordan is the last person on the trip, leaving just Paulo and Matt.

Paulo apologies and confirms Matt’s earlier suspicions. Jordan does consider himself straight. There’s little chance of it working out. Matt looks devastated initially, but comes to having accepted the result like he did initially, nothing’s changed.

Matt plays it all down; Highschool crushes are sometimes destined to go nowhere. There’s more to life and there’s always that someone out there.

Paulo starts thinking about what’s being said too.

There’s some disbelief in Paulo in how Matt can remain upbeat and positive even knowing that a crush of his will not happen. Compare to Paulo who broke down multiple times when several chances where he could have been romantically involved with Lucy were being sunk one after the other.

But in telling Matt how he could just go out to find love, a number of Matt’s own insecurities about the future tear open. Indeed, Paulo could just go out onto the street and pick up any woman he wants. They might not be the right person, but it’s that easy for him.

It’s not easy for Matt. It’s never been that easy.

Matt reveals he’s scared of what will come now. He feels more alone now and blames his sexuality. He could’ve simply gotten along with Rachel before, he had that opportunity. It would’ve been enough to be accepted, but it wouldn’t have been him. Paulo tries to reassure him that it was correct of him to be true to himself. But Matt is far too concerned with the future; Jordan was the only light he had looked forward towards all this time, one of the reasons he felt he could certainly keep moving. But now what? He wasn’t accepted at home. Could he be accepted anywhere else after school? Who could love him now?

And he’s scared he won’t find any acceptance because of how difficult it is to find other people like him. Like how Paulo couldn’t accept simply being asked if he was gay, Matt fears that kind of reaction from people most of all. 

What if he doesn’t find anyone else like him? What if everyone else is like him; wearing a mask, unable to be themselves?

We see some great character progression from Paulo as he tries his best to reassure Matt that it’s not all lost; he’ll find someone else, there is always someone else.

Greater to his own character development, Paulo’s inner feelings start leaking out as well. He has such a poor opinion of himself, he can’t help but feel scared about the future as well. But he carries such a hopeful opinion of Matt. Surely this one upset is not the end for him.

Hearing it brings Matt out of his crisis.

At the end of the night, Paulo reassures Matt that there’s surely something to look forward to; he’s got his friends.

Matt returns the sympathy, they’ve both got friends, they’ll show the world some day.

That brings the chapter to an end, but why stop here?

In the following intermission chapter we find Jordan and Matt in the library studying for their SAT’s. We’re given the impression that even with Augustus’ help, Jordan is just as hopeless in this aspect of his life like how he is with his love life.

Matt convinces him they should get back to the task on hand. But Jordan can’t help but bring up that Paulo had tried to hit on him at the birthday party before, causing a chill to go up Matt’s spine.

Given Jordan’s hopelessness with Tiffany we’re under the belief he’s so hopeless as not clued into what’s going on around him, but we find that isn’t the case at all. Jordan has been watching. He’s very aware of Paulo’s habits and. . .it seems like there may even be some pity towards Paulo in the end of it.

It’s hard not to understand why things are like this either; Jordan has been acquainted with Paulo in one of two ways; through his sister or through Jessica and Rachel, as he had been friends with them as soon as he started at Roseville high, (this had been more or less supported in the BCI comic Blind Date when we see Jordan with them as Matt joins the group.) Having been friends with two of the culprits who took advantage of Paulo in order to get back at Tess in his sophomore year, it’s hard for him not to not have learned that Paulo had been sleeping around with the both of them, or heard the rumours that he had been sleeping around in general. The BCI Comic DinnerTime supports this when Jordan tries to use this knowledge as leverage against his sister’s romantic shenanigans to get his mother to extend his curfew. 

Despite being associated to each other over the last few months through his relationship with Rachel, it doesn’t appear outside of asking for advice on picking up the opposite sex that they are close friends. Being mindful that Paulo is one of Lucy’s ex-friends, who could be the one responsible for Lucy throwing herself off the building, he’s been largely tolerant but not very open towards a friendship. And when the idea of Paulo becoming romantically involved with Lucy comes up, Jordan is all but against it; he almost lost his sister once, he isn’t going to risk it again. Especially after Paulo’s inability to reconcile with Rachel’s feelings towards him.

Having come to know Paulo, Jordan feels sorry for him instead, believing Paulo is confused and is allowing his feelings to run his life and control him as an explanation to his strange behaviour. He asks if it’s the same with Matt as well, which Matt says is correct. He likely pities Paulo to some extent. But I wonder if it’s because of the chance that, despite appearing like he has a lot of love to give, Paulo appears lonely no matter who he’s with, in much the same way Matt feels isolated and alone through his sexuality.

Matt lets slip at this point that he knew Paulo had went to harass Jordan in the bathroom but it goes by unnoticed by Jordan. Jordan instead downplays that the harassment was all taken in good jest, and strangely enough, it seems to have rubbed off on Jordan; Jordan appears more confident having another male let him know he’s attractive.

The greatest reveal is at the end of the intermission when Jordan jokes about seeing if he could somehow hook Paulo up with Matt. It leaves Matt stunned, and why not?

Jordan knows he’s gay. There’s some solace in that acknowledgment.

At the same time, he can’t help but find some humour in that Jordan thinks Paulo would be a great fit for Matt. He finds that hilarious. There’s only room for one hopeless guy in his life.

I wonder what the next chapter will bring?

[bi-scottsummers]

The Hollow: a summary

(contains spoilers) ((duh))

starring: fire boy, water girl and karate kid

secondary characters: that sassy guy with the shades, my mom the witch, bunch of dead guys and some talking cows (also those three lil bitches whose names I can't remember)

• waking up in a white rubix cube is really bad for your neck

• oh look!!!! it's an old thing!!!!

• hARDCORE PARKOUR

• there just had to be wolves

• the cliff scene; in which the weird guy with purple skin has a better fashion sense than I do

• are these cows high??

• "sorry, i dropped out of Minotaur For Beginners in 5th grade"

• Mira is a furry CONFIRMED

• pLEASE STOP HAPPENING PLEASE STOP HAPPENING PLEASE STOP HAPPENING— (AKA kai is the most relatable person on planet earth)

• why can't they just have some soup

• hello mrs witch—oh shit there are three of you

• pardon me, are you mister creepy dude, sir?

• goddamnit Garry

• death is a good bro (AND HIS ICED TEA IS NOT TOO SWEET OKAY SHUT UP—)

• they save the donkey

• fire boi is smort and adam is a raging homosexual who is super proud of his boyfriend

• everything is going wel—nO WAIT ADAM WHAT DID YOU D O

• the boyfriends have their first fight and i can't stop c r y i n g—

• karate kid finds out he's Hulk's grandson.

• water girl is evolving into mermay gorl!

• aphrodite pays the gay bois a visit (she totally ships it)

• BREAKING NEWS: confused bisexual is in denial. get the fuck out of the closet, kai, i'm not getting any younger over here

• oh look it's a cyclops with the mentality of a five year old. this should be fun

• Bob the Builder strikes again

• there's a boat. That's pretty much it

• wowza that's a lot of calamari

• weirdy guy is a little bitch but also really nice

• a talking tree??? seriously????? jesus christ what is this the wizard of oz

• they climb a giant chain. also, adam is not dealing with Kai's fake-hetero bullshit. come on, kai.

• kai is scared. adam, you can let go of your boyfriend now.

• they risk their lives for a twig, because why not

• kai, signing your boyfriend up for a death match is not cool

• Adam goes karate kid™ on this hoe's ass

• 3 lil assholes show up and steal their stick of destiny. not cool, guys.

• they get portal-zapped by weirdy guy (again)

• oh look!! another spaceship!! because the last trip in one of these things turned out SOOOOO well

• oh what's that??? there's another monster??? hate to say I told you so but BITCH I TOLD YOU SO

• hey look, it's the first time weirdy guy doesn't bail them out

• the amusement park; in which the mimes have the most glorious moustaches I have ever seen in my life

• kai fixes another thing!!

• kai rescues the dworf mime and is now a flaming homosexual. (Literally)

• kai pls stop pestering ur bf

• hey Adam, u need some peanut butter to go with that jelly?

• quicksilver is pretty much the only chill one here. i don't like the cotton candy girl.

• insert unnecessary flight scene where kai keeps pretending to be heterosexual

• yes hi, i'd like a plate of grilled zombies

• kAI WTF DID U STEP ON

• somehow they're not dead yet

• Matt Murdock is that you

• okay, this is cool, they're almost out of this pla—wAIT WHAT WHERE IN THE HOLY FUCK DID THAT COME FROM

• UM OKAY FIRST OFF, NO

• SECOND OFF, N O

• Adam is WAY too gay for that hetero shit sorry mira

• the talking tree is a bit of a bitch. also, kai starts some beef

• RIP weirdy guy, your screen time is over

• who needs teleportation when you can have a tree yEET you across an entire forest???

• don't pet the polar bear

• okay now you can pet the polar bear

• adam is not happy with his boyfriend being turned into an icicle

• hi my name is giant ice monster and I'm here to ruin everything

• I hAVE 12% oF A pLAN

• so many ice puns. so. many

• *narrator voice* it was at this moment Kai realized.....he'd fucked up

• #GiveAdamABreak2018

• the lil bitches have upgraded to major bitches

• Return Of The Polar Bears: coming soon to theatres near you

• "that's a good thing right????" lol bitch u thought

• Titanic 2.0

• it's a bird, it's a plane, it's.........A VEGETARIAN SHAR—no I'm kidding it's a whale lmao

• sPiDErS?!??!?!?1?!!1?4!3?/?<>\>?

• not this fucking spaceship again

• who doesn't love the taste of jet fuel??: featuring the sassy bi kid

• gay cuddles ):>

• weirdy guy gets even weirder

• "nOt mE fOoL" bitch lay off it's his first day

• these spiders got some trust issues™

• eenie meeney minie moe catch a spider by its—oh shit this dude's missing two legs nevermind

• "where did u learn that???" "Spider repair school" kai can u not for one second

• "it's okay, Kai, we're good" "Adam—" nO MIRA LEt tHeM HAVE tHeIR MOMENT

• Mother Nature is being a royal shit

• not these guys again

• jOhnNY kARAte~~

• is speedy Gonzales literally the only one here with any fucking chill

• johnny karate kicks some ass and gets the glow stick of destiny

• [cue the mental breakdowns]

• where the fuck did the sun go

• death, nobody has time for your lemon scones. go reap a soul or something

• the tree lends them a hand (literally)

• i think this dragon is broken

• mermay gorl defies the laws of physics

• the world's deadliest green screen kills basically everything

• started from the bottom and they're still currently at the bottom

• somehow they're not dead

• Vanessa is probably a cyborg

[brittysaucefanfic]

Operation: Voltron

Part 5

Keith

(First)(Previous)(Next)(AO3)

Keith had been knee deep in his files on Blue Lion when his brother knocked on the door. Usually, when interrupted in the middle of his thought process on this infuriating case, Keith would not be happy. He would have snapped at the person, no matter if they were a King from another country, or if they were his overprotective big brother. Keith wouldn’t have held back.

But his thoughts were already so jumbled up and ready to send Keith to the loony bin, that he actually appreciated the distraction. He swirled around in his chair, which might as well have been an extra body part from how long he was sitting there. In the doorway stood his obnoxiously muscular older brother.

Don’t get him wrong, Keith adored hs brother Shiro.

When he was eleven, and was first brought home to the Shirogane household, he had met Shiro for the first time. And it was like Shiro just became God in his eyes. To this day Keith couldn’t tell you the moment he stopped hating this family he loves so dearly now, to when he was suddenly practically worshipping the ground that Shiro walked upon.

It could have been when they first locked eyes. Or it could have been when Shiro bailed him out of school to get some ice cream a week later. Maybe when Shiro left for another tour overseas. Perhaps it was long before the first meeting though. 

When the Shirogane couple he calls Mom and Dad now first came to the orphanage, Keith was their first choice. They had talked to him maybe twice, told him about Shiro, when Keith had demanded to know why he wasn’t with them.

They gave him a letter, one he still has hidden in his house somewhere. 

It was a letter from Shiro, and it said, in summary, that Shiro wanted the choice of adoption to be up to his parents and not to Shiro. There were so many kind words crammed into a single sheet of notebook paper, that Keith had immediately ran to his room in the orphanage to hide it. 

So, yeah. Keith loves Shiro dearly. But the amount of hours in his day just spent working out or cleaning, especially after getting the new arm, was ridiculous. Sure, it looks good on him, and he wasn’t exactly the size of a mountain, but still. Chill dude.

“Shiro, what’s up?” Keith asked, eyeing his brother who simply stood leaning in his doorframe. They were in his office at the FBI headquarters, which was a fancy little area, small but cozy. Nice view, not too much furniture- just Keith’s style. Shiro smiled fondly down at him, and Keith knew it was a fond smile, because only one corner of his lips lifted.

“Just came to talk. Got a minute, or am I interrupting?” Shiro asked as he stepped off the frame and stepped inside, letting the door swing gently closed. It was glass, because there was a lot of glass walls and doors in this building. 

"Please." Keith said, rubbing his sore eyes. He needed a coffee, or five. "I'm begging you to kill me right now." Shiro only gave short scoff before dragging out a chair and taking a seat.

Keith watched with lidded eyes as his brother scanned the table piled up with Keith's most infamous case. It was separated into two halves. The first half of the pile, to Keith's right, was directly involving his criminal, named Blue Lion.

It wasn't very much, maybe three folders worth of actual information and two boxes full of origami lions made out of Blue paper. Hence the name. Each lion was about the size of a softball, and they were intricately designed.

Should you line each lion up from oldest to newest, you could physically see the skill get more and more perfected. But Shiro's already seen all of that. Even the folders of information, no matter that Keith could lose his job for it.

It was the second pile that was more interesting. Keith has pulled every case file he's done since becoming an FBI agent, and he's been steadily combing through them for any similarities. Like connections to each other and connections to Blue Lion. It was just a hunch he had.

Recently, someone Keith put in prison had recognized keith right off the bat. When questioned, the man had simply said ‘Blue was right about you.’ Refused to speak at all after that, no matter how long the interrogations went, or if Keith was or wasn’t in the room. The man had said nothing, not even to taunt the interrogators, which was a very common reaction from guys like him. So after that, it got Keith wondering just how many people he’s gone after who had connections to his number one case.

"What's all this?" Shiro asked. His eyebrow was raised and a curious glint in his eye sparked. Keith's always hated that glint in his brother's eyes, because most of the time it gets Keith into unwanted situations. Like a double date with twin girls. 

Keith is gay.

"These are all the cases that I've done since I joined the FBI. I'm looking for any correlations between my old cases and the Blue Lion case." Keith said. Goodness, even he could hear how exhausted he sounded.

Shiro looked back at Keith briefly, before he did that thing he does when he's hiding something or being nonchalant to get his way. It's hard to put a name to what it is, but Keith knows it by heart.

Because he taught Shiro how to hide things and lie to their parents.

Before Keith came along, Shiro was horrible at lying and keeping secrets from his family. And at first, Shiro was perfectly fine with that. Up until the moment when Keith got away with something Shiro never would have. The look of astonishment was priceless. After that Shiro shyly asked Keith to show him how to do it.

"What if I told you," Shiro started. He had gone as far as poking at the left pile to keep up a charade in front of Keith. It was useless. One, Shiro was too obvious when you knew what to look for. Two, Keith had been both a detective and an FBI agent for a while now. Kind of part of the job description to read people. "That I made some friends who could help you out in the Blue Lion case?" Shiro said, still thumbing the edges of a stack of files. It got Keith's interest at least, and Keith leaned forward. 

He was definitely awake now.

Shiro never tried to help anymore, Keith had been too irritable to let people help him on this case. Any other case? He loved to have someone else’s opinion. Not the Blue Lion case though. Keith felt it in his bones that he had to be the one to catch this guy, no one else. Maybe it was a pride thing, or maybe it was just him desperately wanting to prove himself to his old mentor. 

Or maybe it was both. 

He never wanted help with catching the Blue Lion, but at this point Keith would take anything. It's almost been three years since he was handed down the case from his mentor and boss. Three years working on this case all alone.

Three years of chasing smoke while his suspect avoided him like a pro.

"Listening..." Keith said, trailing off. If it meant finally being able to sleep at night without obsessing over this case, he would bend his pride and accept an offering of assistance.

It had been after his fourth closed case, which was a counterfeiting ring bust that ended with a boat load of bad guys in prison, when his mentor had approached Keith about the Blue Lion. It wasn't a secret that his friend, practically a God among mortals when it comes to closing cases, had been having no progress on this one single case.

Said he was tired of the case haunting him, and that it was his greatest regret on not being able to close it himself.

He had told Keith that he was stepping out of field work, and handing Blue Lion over to Keith. Keith had dutifully taken the mantle and spent the next week combing over the three pages worth of information. Which wasn't a lot, but by the end of the week Keith knew the details of the case back to front.

After about three months of chasing geese, his mentor had given Keith a new case, putting Blue Lion on the back burner. Anyone sane in his profession would have deemed it a lost cause. But Keith was too invested.

Why?

Because his mentor, friend, and boss deserved to see the case closed by someone he trusted to take over it. Over the three years working this case, Keith has nailed down every potential lead. There were maybe three people he put in lock up who had suspected ties to the Blue Lion, but interrogation offered nothing more than sarcasm and snark. 

Either these men were extremely loyal to Blue Lion, or they were terrified of him. 

Keith was almost afraid to find out which one it was.

“You remember how I told you about the new job offer, the one I agreed to take on?” Shiro asked. He had finally stopped messing with the files to try and look casual, now leaning his side against the table from where he sat, his chin propped up on his hand.

Keith nodded but didn’t reply.

“So far we, Allura and I, have recruited two more people to be on the team.” Shiro said after he realized Keith wasn’t going to reply with his words, as per typical of Keith. 

Allura. Keith remembers her. 

A white haired bombshell with more power in her pinky finger than the past four presidents combined. Shiro introduced the two of them at lunch one day maybe a week ago. And with how those two interacted, one would think they were already married for a decade. 

The sexual tension was disgusting.

“One them specifically, is a computer genius who used to work for NASA, and also well versed in hacking and breaching high level security databases.” Shiro said. Keith pretended he didn’t hear that, but didn’t interrupt Shiro. “She’s a bit younger, but she’s good. Remember Matt? From the space launch?” Shiro asked.

Matt? Keith vaguely remembers him. They never met face to face, but they did say hello one time when Shiro was doing a video call. Matt was one of the scientists who accompanied Shiro to space, and were also taken prisoner by the same terrorist group Shiro escaped from. He nodded to Shiro’s question anyways. 

“Katie, or Pidge as she prefers, Matt’s little sister, is the NASA scientist I’m talking about.” Shiro continued. “She can be a really big asset when going after Blue Lion, look at things you might have never even thought about thinking about.”

Keith pushed his tongue into his left cheek as he thought, considering this new turn of events. Then a thought hit him that had his eyes narrowing suspiciously at his brother. “And what? You’re just gonna give her to me like some sort human pet to use as I desire regarding the case?” 

Shiro cringed, his nose scrunching and bunching the scar on his nose up as he did so. “When you say it like that it sounds like I’m pimping her out or something.” Keith quirked his lips a little at that, because that was what he was going for in the first place.

“So what do you want in return for her helping me?” Keith asked, not beating around the bush and going straight into it.

Shiro sighed as if he held the world on his shoulder, which wasn’t too far from how Shiro carried himself. He was always the first to volunteer when someone needed to unload their own burdens. He was an extremely empathetic person, feeling someone else’s pain as if it were his own. And though it wasn’t the best of things to be when in the war zone, Shiro never let it hold him back.

It was one of the many things that Keith admired about Shiro.

“I can’t just help my baby brother?” Shiro said, his voice raising a notch in a classic tell for lying. Keith raised an eyebrow at Shiro, who caved in far too soon for someone who could survive a year in Zarkon’s captivity and escape.

“Okay fine. I want you to consider joining Allura’s task force with me. You know? We could bond and watch each other’s backs and all that. I think it would be fun.” Shiro finished weakly with a shrug. Keith rolled his eyes, but caved as well at Shiro’s puppy eyes.

“I’ll think about it. When do I meet this Pidge?” He asked. A new, and very unfamiliar voice sounded behind him, making Keith spin around, his hand already placed on his gun just in case.

“How about right now?” Said a short female with choppy cropped strawberry blonde hair and thick rimmed glasses. She was dressed in a pair of shorts, which barely peaked out from her lime green hoodie, zipped halfway up her body. Her brown eyes were sharp, even sharper than Allura’s were when they met. Speaking of the white haired bombshell, she appeared in his doorway behind the short female, as well as a very large man with a headband. 

“I’m Pidge, and this is my friend Hunk. We’re on the task force with your brother Shiro.” Pidge said, pushing up her glasses with a jacket covered hand. She looked kind of childish right then. “Shall we start then?”

****** 

(First)(Previous)(Next)(AO3)

[1dffsummerexchange]

It’s All in the Timing

Written For: @firaemsen

Written By: @earthshake

Pairing: Harry/OFC

Word Count: 5,000

Warnings: Language

Summary:

Harry and Nora were strangers, and sometimes Harry thinks it would have been better for everyone involved if they would have stayed that way. 

A story about when two people are right, but the timing is wrong.

Micah is running late.

It isn’t that big of a deal, or at least it wouldn’t have been if Nora weren’t already running twenty minutes early. She bought herself a glass of wine to pass the time, but after forty-five minutes of sitting alone she’s finished two glasses and half an appetizer. She’s texted Micah twice, but he hasn’t replied.

The restaurant they’ve agreed to meet at was recently opened, one of those typical Los Angeles up-and-coming places with expensive dishes, organic produce, and twinkling lights. It had been practically impossible to get a reservation; Nora had put their names in three weeks ago, and this was the earliest slot they had open. She can’t believe Micah would bail on her tonight.

She is about to call him when somebody else slides into the booth across from her. He wears a confident smile, extending one of his long arms across the take to shake her hand.

“I’m Harry,” he says.

“Hi.” She blinks at him. “I’m Nora.”

“I like your headband. I noticed you instantly.” He nods at the green and gold scarf tied across her forehead. Nora sets her phone down on the table, feeling a little more comfortable in front of cute guy under the impression that he’s probably gay.

“Your date finally showed up,” the waitress says, pulling out her notebook and turning to Harry. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“I’ll have a glass of whatever she’s drinking, that you,” he says before she can find a way to explain that he’s not her date, they aren’t sitting together. Nora picks up her phone again, noting that Micah is now over a half hour late. From previous experience she can assume he’s not coming, and so she decides not to tell Harry that she’s meeting someone.

“So what brings you here tonight?” She asks.

Harry grins boastfully. “My sister is dating the owner. She pulled a couple strings.”

“Impressive. I was on the waiting list for what felt like forever. Do you want some Avocado Bruschetta?” Nora pushes the plate towards the center of the table, and Harry gratefully takes up her offer. Nora notices a few tattoos on his fingers and up his forearms. He’s wearing long sleeves with the cuffs unbuttoned, draping over his wrists. The first few buttons of his shirt are undone as well, revealing even more ink and reinforcing the notion that he is definitely, totally gay.

“So tell me about yourself. What do you like to do?” Harry asks after he’s finished chewing.

“I’m an aspiring actress in LA, the ultimate cliché,” Nora admits.

“Me too,” Harry says with a laugh. “But so far all I’ve been in is hair product commercials.”

“You do have lovely hair,” Nora compliments. He has dark curls that roll over his ears and down to his chin. He pushes them back with one hand, purposefully showing off.

“Thank you, it is quite literally my claim to fame.”

Nora laughs. “What’s your dream role?”

“War movie. Easy. I want to be the next Matt Damon.”

“Saving Private Ryan?”

Harry nods.

“I have to be honest, you don’t really look like you’ve been to war,” Nora says.

“That’s why they call it acting, Natalie.”

“Um, it’s Nora, actually.”

“Shit, sorry! ” Harry looks embarrassed, but Nora isn’t offended. She doesn’t actually remember giving him her name in the first place. “Okay Nora, what is your dream role?”

Nora has to think about her answer for a few moments. She’s been auditioning aimlessly for about a year now, trying to ignore Micah’s reminders about how unlikely it was she’d ever be successful, how she’d be better off going back to school. It came from a place of love and concern for her, it was always made Nora feel like a special kind of failure. At this point Nora would take any role she was given, at almost any cost.

“I guess I don’t really have a dream role as much as I do a couple directors I’d really like to work with. Ron Howard is at the top of the list. Frost/Nixon is my favorite movie.”

“Of all the movies to choose from, that one is your favorite?” Harry asks.

Nora shrugs. “I’m also a history buff.”

Harry and Nora enjoy an expensive, but exquisite dinner together, discussing their favorite movies and sharing audition horror stories.  The food is delicious, living up to every review Nora had read. The company is even better, so much so that Nora doesn’t even bother to check her phone for Micah’s probably work-related excuse.

“I’m so full,” Harry complains when they finish, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his stomach. “How would you feel about taking a nice walk around the block to help the digestive process?”

Nora agrees, and it’s during this walk that Harry tries to kiss her.

“What are you doing? I thought you were gay!” Nora blurts.

“Excuse me?” Harry scowls. “If I were gay, why would I go on a blind date with a girl?”

“Huh? This isn’t—I’m not---“ Nora sighs. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding. I have a boyfriend.”

“Then why did Niall set me up with you?”

“Who is Niall?”

Harry steps back, face red with realization. He runs another hand through his curls, this time pushing them forehead to cover more of his face. He eyes a homeless person across the street warily before saying, “Niall is my roommate. He set me up with one of his co-workers. I told her to meet me at La Verne’s wearing something green and gold.”

“The Packers are my favorite football team,” Nora says lamely.

Harry scoffs. “Mine too. Figures. I finally meet a girl I like and she’s taken.”  

Nora’s cheeks turn a soft pink.

“Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Harry says with a sigh. “And don’t worry, there are other fish in the sea.”

“I did think it was weird when you, a total stranger, just sat right across from me. I should have said something. You’ve probably ruined some poor girl’s night now by standing her up.” Nora has been there enough time to not wish the same fate on even her worst enemy.

“What about you? Were you just out to dinner by yourself?” Harry asks.

Nora hesitates. “I was waiting for someone, but…he didn’t show up.”

“Your boyfriend?”

Nora’s silence answers his question.

Despite her relationship status, Harry has trouble not thinking about Nora for the next few weeks. He grows more and more annoyed as the days go by, wondering how it’s possible that a girl who seemed so confident would put up with getting stood up by a guy. If Nora had been single, and agreed to go out with him again, he would’ve never pulled a stunt like that.

It turned out that Niall had forgotten to pass along the message to meet Harry to his co-worker, which at least meant she didn’t think he was an asshole. They make plans to meet up next Friday, this time after exchanging numbers to ensure no more mishaps were had. Before the date Harry does his best to push Nora out of his mind.

Niall’s co-worker is named Natalie, which Harry makes an effort to cement in his brain. He lets her pick the restaurant, having previously used his one impressive first date idea. Instead of dinner she suggests they go ice-skating, which Harry agrees to even when Niall warns him he’s going to make himself look like a fool. Harry hasn’t skated since grade school, and even then he wasn’t very good.

Natalie turns out to be an extremely talented skater; she laps Harry twice before slowing down to his speed. She takes the time to correct his form, holding his hand to keep him from falling as they start going faster. He makes it around at least a dozen times before getting too ambitious, spraining his ankle after attempting a jump.

“I’m so sorry, this is the worst first date ever,” Harry gushes in the emergency room, thinking he should have listened to Niall until Natalie laughs and kisses him hard on the mouth.

They go on one more date to Catalina Island before Harry asks her to be his girlfriend. They’ve been together four months when Harry lands his first lead role. It’s a romantic comedy, which is exactly the opposite direction he wanted to go in as an actor, but he’ll take what he can get. If Ryan Gosling can star in romantic comedies and action films, so can he.

Harry is cast before the female lead, and so he spends much of his next few weeks reading lines with potentials, testing their chemistry. Harry is excited it’s all he can talk about, and he thought Natalie was excited too until she tries to pick a fight with him in the middle of his living room, during the Super bowl.

“You didn’t tell me there was a sex scene,” she snaps after walking back from the bathroom and into a conversation about it. Harry had neglected to mention this piece of information on purpose, just until he could find the right way to say it, but then Niall had brought it up after enjoying a particularly raunchy commercial.

“It’s just one. It’s not a big deal,” Harry says.

“It is to me! How could you accept a role like that without discussing it with me first?” Natalie stands in front of the television, blocking the two of them from seeing what is undoubtedly an unbelievable touchdown.

“Get out of the way, Nat. Go fight somewhere else,” Niall says.

“How naked do you have to be in front of her?” Natalie demands.

Harry prefers to plead the fifth.

They’re up until three in the morning arguing, and the next day at work Harry is exhausted. He has another chemistry test first thing, and before it begins he locks himself in the bathroom for ten minutes, trying to get himself into character. He can’t seem to get the dead expression out of his eyes, and he keeps fumbling over his lines like there’s taffy stuck to the top of his mouth.

Harry picks up coffee from the cart on the way to set, burns his tongue on the first sip, and receives a scolding from the director about being late. He keeps his eyes glued to the floor or his script as he sits in his designated chair, waiting for the cue to begin.

“Wow, Stephen, I-“ The girl opposite him clears her throat and Harry looks up into Nora’s sea foam green eyes. “For a second there even I believed you were in love with me.”

Harry swallows, his head swimming with last night’s accusations. He waits a beat longer than he’s supposed to recite his next lines, his voice cracking over the words, “Me too.”

Nora glances at the front of the room, bites her lip, and then turns back to him. “Harmony looks really jealous,” she says.  

“I don’t care,” Harry says. “I’m not pretending anymore.”

“But Stephen, that’s not fair! I’ve done everything you’ve asked me to, and now that you finally have what you want you can’t hold up your end of the deal?”

Harry gets off his chair, which is something he hasn’t done before during this scene, and walks over to Nora’s chair. He touches her lips with his thumb, and then brushes a strand of sandy hair over her ear.

“I can’t pretend to be with you anymore, Lyla, because it isn’t pretending for me anymore. It’s real, more real than anything I ever had with Harmony.” He leans down to kiss her lips that taste a mixture of vanilla and mint, his eyes falling shut until he hears the words Cut.

He pulls away, blinking.

“We’ll be in touch,” the one of the casting directors says to Nora.

“Bye Harry,” she says to him quiet enough so that he’s the only one to hear.

Her stomach is a field of butterflies as she sits in her car, trying to replay every second of the audition. It was her second one; her agent told her they were between her and a handful of other girls, and that she shouldn’t get her hopes up, but she couldn’t help herself. She’d been so shocked to see Harry wander in from the hall, but the shock had given way to joy. It was fate that they’d met that first night at La Verne, and it could only be fate that now they’d show up at the same audition. She hoped that even though she’d turned him down, he would at least speak highly of her with the casting agents. She’d told him how important her career was to her. He understood how big of a break this movie could be for her. For both of them.  

Harry doesn’t let her down. She gets the call two days later that she’s gotten the part. She had more chemistry with Harry than any of the other girls they’d tested. Nora has a dance party in the living room with Michelle, her best friend. She wishes she had Harry’s number so she could text him thank you.

“I had nothing to do with it. They didn’t even ask for my opinion,” Harry confesses when she thanks him in person, after they’re first read-through of the full script. They’d both lingered in the conference room until everyone else had left, nervously approaching each other as if for the first time.

“Well, it’s really good to see you again,” Nora says, her skin warm.

“Do you want to go do something?” Harry asks despite himself.

Nora’s butterflies return.

Their first stop is the movie theatre, an activity they’d both discussed doing together back when Harry thought Nora was single and she thought he was gay. They share a large popcorn in the back of the theatre, gushing over particularly well-done scenes and impressive cinematography. It’s the first time Nora’s spent with a guy that wasn’t related to her since she and Micah broke up three weeks ago.

“He said he needed to focus on himself. He’s in med school, so he was always stressing about tests and his internship. He had to pick up an extra shift that night we met, that’s why he wasn’t there. I can’t really blame him for going after his dreams, can I?”

Nora shares this over ice cream on the beach. They’re walking barefoot in the sand, slowing inching towards the waves while the sun sets over the horizon. The sky is free of clouds, a true California sunset full of pinks, oranges, and reds. Filming hasn’t even started, and Nora already feels like she’s in a romance movie.

“How long had you been together?” Harry asks.

“Five and a half months,” Nora answers.

Harry kind of hates himself for thinking it, but no, she can’t blame him for going after his dreams. Harry is in the same situation with his own girlfriend, after all. She’s barely kissed him since she found out about the sex scene, and instead they spend all their time talking.

The weird thing is, Harry used to love spending all day talking to Natalie. He liked listening to her share stupid stories of stuff that happened at work (especially when it involved Niall). He liked that they could talk sports for hours, and that she made him laugh even when the serious stuff would come up.

Now they just bicker, and she nags, and Harry feels guilty every time he comes home from work, especially those times when he kisses Nora and likes it a little too much. He starts thinking maybe Nora’s ex did the right thing by breaking up with her, being honest instead of stringing her along. He doesn’t want to be too hasty, though, so first he asks Niall’s opinion.

“Aw, fuck man. You’re gonna make it awkward in the office again,” he says.

“Fucking hell, why’d you set me up with her then?” Harry asks.

“I thought you guys could at least last long enough for me to get promoted. Then I wouldn’t have to see her everyday. I hope she doesn’t cry at work.”

“Okay, but does that mean you think I should break up with her?”

“To be clear, you want to dump her for this Nora chick, right?”

Harry hesitates. “When you put it like that…”

“Dude, either Nora is the one or you’re getting caught up in the whole romance movie bullshit, in which case Natalie has a pretty good reason to be pissed at you all the time. I’d say either way you and Natalie are fucked.”

Harry goes to bed thinking it’s decided, and when he wakes up he sticks to his decision, texting Natalie to meet him for coffee after work. He arrives before she does at their favorite local place with the outdoor seating and mugs with quirky phrases on then. He orders her favorite, a vanilla latte, and sits in the same spot they always sit at, waiting.

Natalie shows up apologetically late, after her coffee has turned luke-warm. She kisses him before sitting down, looking flustered and stressed from her own workday (she’s the manager of an Urban Outfitters), and says, “God, this week has been terrible, I don’t know what it is about people…Anyway, I’ve missed you.”

And Harry can’t do it. He doesn’t know what he was thinking trying to break up with the best girl he’s ever had, for a girl he barely knows? He’s been with Natalie for almost half a year now, and this is the first they’ve fought. And it sort of made him freak out.

So Harry apologizes for not being honest about the sex scene, and Natalie for making it a big deal. He says he understands why she was upset (Niall had a point), and she says she understands why he can’t turn down the job. She says she’s really, really happy, and proud of him, and by the time he’s finishing reliving every detail of filming their coffees are cold.

“It sounds amazing, baby. When can I come visit?” Natalie asks, the wind blowing through her sun-kissed hair.

“Um. Yeah, maybe sometime after work next week. I’m sure everyone would love to meet you,” Harry says, but feels weird about doing so.

It’s just as weird when Natalie actually does show up, and he has to introduce her to Nora, who is hoping he doesn’t notice the expression on her face finding out Harry even has a girlfriend.

“I feel so pissed at myself. Harry and I, we really clicked, but I was so hung up over Micah and he treated me like shit…Harry is cute and nice and funny. Of course he has a girlfriend. Of course she’s also cute and nice and funny. I feel like an idiot,” Nora tells Michelle that night over Chinese take-out.

Michelle tugs at the ends of her dark hair, weaved together in a braid that falls at her shoulder. “The timing was off,” she says.

Nora nods. She resolves to forget there was anything more between them than friendship. It’s the truth, which she thinks should make it easier, but it doesn’t when they’re supposed to be pretending they’re in love all the time. Nora is starting to lose track of where she and Harry end and Lyla and Stephen begin.

After filming Harry still asks her on little dates, just the two of them, where they sit so close on a park bench that she can feel the heat off his body and he still smiles at her the same way he did the first night they met. He tells her all about his family-a mom who taught him everything he knows, two dads who don’t get along, and a sister he wishes he saw more. She tells him how being an only child always made her lonely, which is part of the reason she thinks she let her friends (and boyfriends) treat her badly.

“In high school I was asked to prom by a guy my best friend liked, and so she made hate accounts about me on Instragram and Twitter. She said all this stuff about me that wasn’t true, and got the rest of our friends to comment and say stuff too. I was so…” Nora shakes her head, averting her eyes. “And then when she took it I was so relieved to be her friend again. We just pretended it never happened and hated on the guy instead.”

“People are fucking assholes,” Harry says with a scowl.

They make a habit of never going to the same place twice, maybe to give off the impression that this is still a one-off, just two co-workers getting to know each other. Nora doesn’t mind at all, though. She’s from Colorado, born and raised in a town she knew like the back of her hand. Even after almost two years of living in LA she still feels like she’s exploring new territory, like the city is a giant playground.

The weather is warm, the beach is never more than a half an hour away, and Nora’s gained five pounds from all the specialty food, but it’s one of the best summers she can remember. She’s finally getting paid to do the thing she loves, and when she’s not doing that she exploring a city she loves, or spending time with people she loves—Harry included, maybe.

The last day of filming feels bittersweet, a mixture of accomplishment and disbelief. Nora walks outside into the sunlight, trying to wrap her head around maybe not ever going back in. She’s terrified of the movie flopping, of the bad reviews she’ll have to read if the critics think she’s a bad actress, or even worse if no critics have any opinions at all. What if no one sees it?

Harry doesn’t seem to care about any of this, of course. He’s excited about the cast party later that night, and for all the people he hopes to be interviewed by. Nora can’t bear to burden him with the anxiety.

They both have some time off before promo begins, which Nora uses to visit her mom. It too is a bittersweet experience, the joy of seeing each other clouded by the tension of her mother never wanting Nora to move away in the first place, and the guilt she feels for doing it anyway.

When Nora gets back to LA she and Harry have a meeting with Allie from marketing. We’re in one of the conference rooms without windows, seated at a round table with a phone in the middle. She goes over our schedules for the next couple of weeks, pointing out events of significance, of which there are few. The schedule is light, even for an indie romance with two completely fresh faces.

“I wanted to throw an idea out there,” Allie says in a voice that is misleadingly casual. “The promotional team thinks it would really benefit the film if the people could see you together in real life as much as possible.”

“When you say together…?” Harry says.

“Just let a photographer catch you holding hands every once in a while. If somebody asks you about it you don’t even have to say anything. It’s good to give the people a little mystery. We’ll go from there.”

The first thing Harry thinks is that Natalie is going to kill him.

Still, he doesn’t totally hate the idea.

He looks at Nora, a wary smile on his face. She hesitates before offering him a tiny nod. They agree to a date a few days after their first interview, during which they will be photographed for the tabloids.

Nora feels like she’s now fully transformed into a stereotype, but she doesn’t hate the idea either. Nor the execution.

Harry doesn’t make the same mistake twice, so he tells Natalie about the arrangement the day before the first photos will be released. She isn’t as mad as he expected.

“I kind of figured this would happen,” she admits.

“Am I that much of a cliché?” He asks.

Natalie laughs and Harry’s heart skips a beat.

But even though Natalie is totally cool with him pretending to date somebody else, Harry still feels guilty about being with Nora. He has a love-hate relationship with holding her hand, and when he’s not thinking about that he’s thinking about how easy it would be to kiss her. It’s not sustainable.

He’s got to pull himself together. It isn’t fair to Natalie. Maybe not to Nora either.

Harry swings in limo until opening night, the accumulation of all their hard work finally coming together in one two hour experience. Nora wears a simple, slinky little thing that matches the color of her eyes, her hair pulled up in an up do looks to Harry like a maze. Their fingers are laced together while they walk the red carpet, smiling blindly at the cameras.

Nora’s stomach is in butterflies, the way it has been for weeks now it seems. She’s let the pretending go to her head a bit, which she tells herself is fine for now, at least through tonight. She’s acutely aware of Harry’s actual girlfriend coming in somewhere behind them, under the premise of Niall’s date.

They sit in the best seats in the house, and Nora loves seeing them on camera together. The chemistry they had at that first audition is magnified on the big screen, and Nora feels herself fall for Harry all over again when she gets to really see the way he looks at her. It’s not just the lights or the background music; you can’t fake or fabricate a look like that. Nora knows because he’s giving her that same look in real life when the movie is over.  

There is a lot of schmoozing to be done after the film finishes, and Nora momentary forgets about Harry in the mist of exchanging compliments with the other guests. Aside from what she’s developed with him, she’s also riding the high of starring in her first film. She tries her best to dazzle the critics and interviewers, reciting all the lines her agent had told her to say.

It isn’t until the middle of the after-party that Nora finally gets the chance to ask Harry for a moment alone. She makes sure Natalie is nowhere in sight, finds him chatting up one of the musicians, and steals him out the back door, where a couple of kitchen staff are taking their breaks. Thankfully they don’t seem too interested in eavesdropping.

“I just needed a moment, you know. It’s a little overwhelming,” Nora says, wiping the under of her eyes from the eyeliner that’s certainly smudged there.

“Very surreal,” Harry agrees, all dimples.

“I’m sort of sad it’s over, though.”

“It’s not over yet. We still have to read reviews and get the box office numbers. And I think there are a few more interviews too.” Harry pulls out his phone to check.

Nora swallows the lump in her throat. “Yeah, but it won’t be the same. I won’t get to see you everyday like we used to.”

Harry looks up, a strange expression coming over his face.

“Harry, I have to ask...if I don’t I’m afraid I’m going to regret it later. Filming this movie with you has been one of the best things to ever happen to me, and it’s not just because of the movie. It’s because of you, and I just wanted to know if there was any possibility-I know you have a girlfriend, but-“ Nora sighs, her words getting all tangled.

Harry steps back, unreadable “Nora.” It sounds like an apology.

“Oh,” Nora breathes. “Okay.”

“Wait—“ Harry panics, grabbing her hand. “I wasn’t ready to have this conversation tonight.”

It’s the moment of the truth, the decision he’s been putting off ever since Nora walked into the audition room. And even when she lays it all on the table for him, deciding still feels impossible.

“Nora, I’m sorry. We’re friends. And it’s not that I haven’t felt...things for you. But it’s not the same as what I feel for Natalie, and I can’t do this to her. I’m sorry. I like you, I do, but…the timing is off.”  

“Okay,” Nora says. She doesn’t think she has a right to be mad.

“Let’s go back inside?” Harry suggests, and so they do. And in the moment, Nora feels like it’s one of the worst things to ever happen to her. It makes her feel sick inside the rest of the night, so much that she and Michelle leave the party early without telling anyone goodbye.

Three months later she and Harry officially break up, and it is apparently very messy. (It isn’t actually anything, just a string of unconfirmed rumors). It’s for the best that Harry and Nora lose tough as well after that, and eventually Nora breaks her phone and really does lose his number.

She starts dating around again, but none of them really stick, and so when Nora does meet Harry again she’s been happily single for about a year. They run into each other in the grocery store of all places, which feels like an even more specular meeting place than La Verne. He’s cut his hair since she’s seen him last, and so she almost doesn’t recognize him at first.

Nora doesn’t ask if he’s still with Natalie. Instead they talk about their recent projects and the weather, almost as if strangers again. They exchange numbers for the second time, but Nora doesn’t hear from him for another three weeks. He asks her to meet him at the Santa Monica pier.

And then, finally, with salt in their hair and sand in their toes, the timing is right.

[mastcomm]

Dog the Bounty Hunter Is Hunting Alone

PINE, Colo. — In September, three months after the death of his wife, Dog the Bounty Hunter was angling under the Colorado sun at a trout pond in the backwoods of the Rocky Mountains.

The pond was close enough to the highway that trucks mashing down Route 285 would roll down their windows to yell his name. To each passer-by, he raised his thumb and pinkie in a trademark shaka sign of good will.

Dog says he has 12 children, 11 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. He also says he has had four wives, been convicted of robbery 18 times and captured 10,000 fugitives. And he claims God promised to make him famous.

“I need the attention. I wake up every day and say, ‘Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the baddest bounty hunter of them all?,’” he said, with a conspiratorial arched eyebrow before turning serious: “I need love.”

With the pompadour-mullet, jailhouse tats and beet-red tanned skin — lots of it — the only thing missing is the theme song.

Families pulled their minivans over and ran out to greet him. A woman with a graying ponytail and vodka on her breath sidled up as well. “I just want to say I’m praying for you and Beth,” she said, as if consoling an old friend.

Dog squirted fake cheese onto a Triscuit and ate it, then lit another menthol Marlboro and eyed a pickup truck creeping into the parking lot. It’s not all love, he said: “I’m tested once a week, guys looking to see how tough the Dog is. That’s what the Taser is for.”

Behind his wraparound Oakley sunglasses, his blue eyes are marked by deep circles. A cloud of nervous energy comes and goes like a storm. He is 66 and alone for the first time in decades. He is now also without a television contract.

“This is the big moment,” he said, when asked what’s next. “That’s the big question.”

Suddenly, there was a strike on the line. But when Dog lifted his rod from the water, the hook was bare.

The next bite wouldn’t be until hours later, after a Safeway run for supermarket sushi. Back at the lake, Dog finally caught a foot-long trout. Blowing minty smoke, he cackled and reached into the shopping bag. “Want a piece of my spider roll?” he asked, and grinned.

Back in 2004, Duane Chapman, known as Dog, hot-wired a reality revolution with “Dog the Bounty Hunter.” Riding shotgun with his family of bickering bounty hunters, many of whom had done time themselves, viewers were pulled along on fugitive chases as Dog led his crew in pursuit of those who had broken the terms of their bail agreements.

The popular show, broadcast on A&E, spurred what was called a wave of “redneck reality,” bringing America hit shows like “Duck Dynasty” and “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” It lasted eight seasons.

Spinoffs and three years on Country Music Channel followed, but nothing matched his success at A&E. Last year, he returned to television once again with “Dog’s Most Wanted,” on WGN America. In it, Dog and Beth Chapman continued to chase fugitives.

This time, she had a diagnosis of throat cancer. So the show became about her last days riding with “Big Poppa,” as she called him. She tried chemotherapy multiple times and quit. “I want to die in my boots,” she said in the first episode. In June, as shown in the season finale, at age 51, she did.

“Beth was adamant, she wanted everything filmed,” said Matt Asmus, the showrunner. “If anyone wanted the camera turned off, it was Dog.”

Throughout the season, as Ms. Chapman loses hair and weight, Dog and his posse continue to slice through the heartland, quoting the good book and catching crooks. But as she begins to slip away, falling into a coma before being taken off life support, Dog’s grip on reality becomes more tenuous in his grief.

“I don’t want to live,” he says after her death, eyeing her pill bottles. The season’s end shows a broken man — the opposite of the hero that Dog spent years building onscreen.

After Ms. Chapman’s death, Dog had a pulmonary embolism. Testosterone supplements had thickened his blood, Dog suspects. He checked himself out of the hospital against advice, pushing “an orderly up against a wall because he wouldn’t let me leave,” he said. “They couldn’t stop me.”

Dr. Mehmet Oz, the doctor and TV personality, flew to Colorado for an intervention.

“Does Dog want to live or not?” Dr. Oz told me. “Dog told me a dream where Beth said, ‘Big Daddy, what took you so long? Maybe she’s waiting, what am I living for?’”

Dog said he has now been chewing ice cubes to lose weight. His 5-foot-7 frame is down to 187 pounds. He is smoking only two packs a day, placing disposable filters on his cigarettes.

But sunblock and quitting tanning salons aren’t happening; neither are prescription glasses. Eating and sleeping well are still issues for him — so is gout — and what he really wants to do is write another book, this one about Ms. Chapman, he said. And he has plans for a new show.

He is working on a pardon from the state of Texas, which could help him realize a boyhood dream: becoming Sheriff Dog. (In 1976, a failed drug deal led to Dog’s murder conviction. Dog says he didn’t pull the trigger — he was in the car — but, according to Texas law, he was an accessory.) He would be a real sheriff, in a real town that needs cleaning up, he said.

Of course, it could be filmed. “I think it’d be a hit,” he said.

At the Fort, an old adobe restaurant with thick bison steaks, Dog’s wolf ringtone kept howling as his publicist called repeatedly. It was the first day of the president’s impeachment inquiry but what was on his mind was TMZ, which was showing an advance clip of Dog’s appearance on Dr. Oz’s show with the headline “Ticking Time Bomb.”

“Ticking time bomb,” Dog repeated while on the phone with his bounty hunting partner David Robinson, discussing plans to hunt down a fugitive from Hawaii. “Biggest bond I’ve ever written,” he said, picking at his quail.

Dog said he would have to pay $1.5 million if he couldn’t catch the person accused of dealing drugs, who had fled to California.

He needs the money, he said. “I’m broke,” he said. Years of medical bills and being the patriarch of a sprawling family took a heavy toll. If he doesn’t get his man, he said, the bank will take his Colorado home.

“I can go,” Dog told his partner. “I’m three hours away, David. Just got a blood clot, that’s all.”

“You’re on the medication, right?” Mr. Robinson said.

“Yeah,” Dog said. “TMZ burned me tonight, I’m on my last leg.”

“How’d they find out?” Mr. Robinson said.

“Rats,” Dog said. “We live in a rat world — ask Trump.”

Dog won’t say who he voted for, but he did attend Donald Trump’s inauguration. He said it didn’t matter to him who is in the White House. “I feel an allegiance,” he said. “I think Michelle Obama would make a great president.”

His other political opinions include: Teachers should be armed to protect students, and he is open to gay marriage and freedom of religion — he wears a skullcap for Shabbat dinners with Marty Singer, an entertainment lawyer.

“I rarely socialize with my clients,” said Mr. Singer, who calls Dog a great friend and “as honest as they come — sometimes too honest.”

Mr. Singer is also worried.

“Dog’s very lonely,” said Amy Weiss, Dog’s manager at Brillstein Entertainment. “I was there at many points in the hospital with him, and it was very difficult. He’s lost, but he knows he must go on and provide for his family.”

“The irony is,” Dr. Oz said, “he’s a man who everyone relies on for advice. He was crutching so much on Beth — how are you going to show up in your own life?”

When Dog’s mother died in 1995, he spent a year smoking crack, he said. Then he sobered up and started dating Ms. Chapman. They had met in 1986 when he posted her bond after she shoplifted a lemon.

They finally married in 2006 — we saw it in Season 3 of “Dog the Bounty Hunter.” Drama became a Chapman family industry. There were public family disputes and I.R.S. fines for back taxes.

On the eve of the wedding, Dog’s daughter Barbara died in a stolen car in Alaska. Months later, marshals stormed his Hawaii home, leading Dog out in handcuffs — a result of a Mexican extradition case against him, eventually thrown out.

The drama with the most enduring impact began when his son Tucker sold recordings to the National Enquirer of Dog using a racist slur. Friends like Snoop Dogg and the pastor Tim Storey stuck by him, but his book “You Can Run but You Can’t Hide” was pulled from stores. Licensing deals crashed. A&E put his show on hiatus. Dog apologized on Larry King and Sean Hannity.

With the distance of a dozen years, Dog is quick to explain that he came up in the jail system. “I thought I had a pass,” he said, repeating a claim that his mother is Native American. “It was a word I grew up using. I was wrong.”

“I’ll never be forgiven for that one,” he said. “Some people form an opinion of me that I can’t change, but you’ve talked to me and I’m not a racist.” He listed the charities and churches he has visited across the country, and said he himself was a poster-boy image of second chances. “That’s something nobody wants to talk about, people just want to focus on the negatives,” he said.

The movement opposing bail as part of a predatory prison funnel system that disproportionately affects the poor and people of color has strengthened in the last decade. Meanwhile, in early 2016, Ms. Chapman was elected president of the Professional Bail Agents Association, which opposes bail and bond reform.

Dog agreed that the American legal system is particularly hard on black people. “Things could change for the better,” he said, adding that committing crimes is a choice but that nonviolent offenders should not be forced to post bond.

“I am the prime example of the system: The bail bond system, the legal system, of crime,” he said. “I’m a second chance. Guys who don’t have job hopes when they get out, why do you think they go back to what they were doing before they were convicted? If I can change, anyone can. But it’s going to be a lot harder now without Beth, that’s for sure.”

At a PF Chang’s the next day, dressed in a deerskin shirt and knee-high moccasins, Dog laid out his strategy for his newest fugitive’s bond. “Because of my health, Beth’s passing, I’m going to get an extension. I have to catch the bastard.” He laughed. “I love it.”

(The judge, acknowledging his health issues, would grant the extension. The pressure would be off, for now. But the house was still on the line. Even with no cameras rolling, he still had work to do.)

“I got out of prison February 6, 1979. That’s 40 years,” Dog said. “They said, ‘You can’t even get a driver’s license, you’ll have nothing.’ I looked in the mirror to shave and heard my dad saying, ‘Burn your birth certificate, I wish you were never born.’ I said: ‘I’m going to change and be the best at whatever I do in the world.’”

A woman came up and asked for a photo. Dog lowered his sunglasses for the selfie as the check came with a tray of fortune cookies. “You’re not allowed to choose your own fortune,” the waiter said.

Dog ignored the rules and then read his fortune: “You will pass a big upcoming test.” He laughed hard, before coughing. His face got redder and redder, but then he smiled. “I better,” he said.

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/dog-the-bounty-hunter-is-hunting-alone/

[the-cryptographer]

re: voltron s5-8

- Ah, yeah, there were a lot of plot holes and unbelievably convenient coincidences going on to keep the story rolling. But I’m not going to be talking about that just because there are so many and it’s the type of thing you must handwave to enjoy the show and I’m okay with that.

- Lotor family drama was pretty great. I’m glad we got the great, horrible filicide/patricide battle. Like, damn, it was great. And Lotor lighting the pyre at the Kral Zera was also very hype. Still not as great as him terribly rejecting Haggar/Honerva. I’m not sure all of these threads were seen to the best conclusion given how hype they all were individually, but I’m in general pretty glad with the way Lotor’s villainy happens and gets revealed to the crew. The honest feelings and affection for Allura getting flipped into ‘if you won’t go along with what I say, I’ll kill you’ was pretty frighteningly believable to me.

- Axca’s endless roulette of deciding who she’s going to align herself with today was also pretty great. I like that moment when her, Ezor, and Zethrid all are like ‘okay no’ to Lotor’s mad rambling and try to bail. Quality.

- Haggar/Honerva might be my favourite character in this canon though (competing with Lance and Coran) I like how competent she is, and how much we see of her personally struggling with the changes in her psyche after being affected by the quintessence. The choice to change her back was really excellent, and I love what it brought out in her, and I hope we get to see a lot of her in the final season.

- Monsters & Mana episode was really amazing. I’m sad it wasn’t the real Shiro playing - but it was still so IC and so fuckin hilarious that he kept on playing Paladin. Best episode.

- Gameshow episode was also good - Pidge’s run of the minigolf course in particular. But it can’t really compete with Monsters & Mana. A low point of it for me was Keith choosing Lance simply because he didn’t want to get stuck with Lance for eternity. Cold bro.

- The timey wimey stuff wasn’t too bad, but it was one of the contributors to what I felt was pretty uneven pacing. I kind of feel like we should have seen some of the stuff with Romelle and the stuff with Keith and his mom and the space wolf first hand, instead of rushing through a lot of it and then presenting the rest of it in flashbacks.

- Not so much the moment everyone was talking about, but The Black Paladins was really emotional in the end. idk like, as frustrating as it is seeing Keith be terribly reckless and consistently willing to sacrifice himself to save Shiro and everyone else, I do feel like it had payoff in the final scene of the episode. hit me hard for those times my teachers/coaches stood up for me. Yeah, Keith- if only you’d stop giving up on yourself.

- Uh, bruh, Earth isn’t in the centre of the Milky Way Galaxy. It’s all the way over to the side on the edge of the spiral. You guys seem to be headed in the wrong direction.

- This show really be overestimating how much I care about the extended Holt family. I think it got off on the wrong foot with the kind of overemotional bait & switch regarding Matt. But there’s also the issue of Pidge getting really reckless and inconsiderate whenever they’re threatened and putting them above everyone else which is... very real and understandable. But at the same time it’s kind of frustrating to watch, especially when the first thing I know about them is they make Pidge act this way before I’m given any reason to know or care about them.

- And I know it’s really just a coincidence, but how Admiral Sanda was handled really rubbed me the wrong way, especially how the other woman she’s (unintentionally?) juxtaposed against is Coleen Holt. Like, first you have this dutiful mother and wife who waited on Earth for 3+ years for her husband to return and she doesn’t stray at all and welcomes him back and supports him in every way he needs. And then Admiral Sanda is this woman who’s actually has rank and power and she’s constantly being vilified and told she’s unfit for her position by all the men working around her. And these are the heros and villains in Sam Holt’s story. When I think about it, there might not be a single woman on this show who’s actually at the top rung of the leadership hierarchy who’s not misaimed or evil. And, yeah, that kind of bothers me a bit. I mean, obviously on an in-universe level, Sanda is a pill. But on a meta level- You get to her death scene. And that she’s, like, the only person who the show actually lets die on screen in the fight to save Earth, as part of some death equals redemption arc... Like, it’s unrealistic and idealistic how many people didn’t die on this show - and that’s fine bc idealistic kids’ show - but Sanda is an acceptable target. If only she had listened to the men who were her intellectual superiors, boo hoo. It felt really obnoxious to me all around.

- Allurance lost some points with me. I still ship it, which is more than I can say for about 90% of the other relationships for this canon/fandom, but I’m decidedly more meh about it now. I know Lance is just a teenager and all, and it’s not out of character or something I couldn’t see happening, but the narrative going along with stuff about how ‘none of the other girls are like her, she’s just so speshul’ is the kind of thing that irritates me. As for Allura responding to Lance’s feelings - it was believable to me given a lot of the pieces that were put in place - but I think more time should have been devoted to following Allura’s feelings and thoughts through the whole of season 7, both in regards to this ship and otherwise. I see why other people say it felt rushed.

- And Axca/Keith is a cute battle couple, you guys are just bitter.

- Buuut, I totally think ppl have reason to be bitter. I don’t know exactly who all was responsible. And I know the creators apologised, and I don’t think they should have had to, necessarily. But, at the very least, some of the marketing decisions here were queerbaiting. The show has gone out of its way to market itself to its lgbt+ audience and fans and has created a lot of hype around Shiro and the show being gay aaaand, we got some subtext, a dead ex-boyfriend, some evil lesbians, and two strongly hinted het ships with the show’s major cast. Yeah. Even though I like those het ships, I get the bitterness.

- And... I think there’s a marked difference between the way the narrative treats Adam and the way it’s treated the other Paladin’s loved ones over the course of the show. Like, god, we’ve gotten so much of Pidge’s family drama. We got a whole episode of Pidge crying over Matt being dead when he wasn’t even dead. We got a lot of Hunk trying to come to terms with not being able to see his family at the Garrison this season. We got quite a bit of Veronica this season, and have touched on Lance missing his family since season one. Keith got several episodes about his mother and the lead up to and effects of his father dying. Coleen Holt waits for Sam Holt to return from space. But with Shiro we get this breakup and then Adam dies and it’s brushed over in a couple of minutes? Like, I’m not saying Adam shouldn’t have died necessarily, or that Shiro’s relationship with Adam shouldn’t have been on the rocks. I’m just saying it’s hard to really divorce this from the fact that the relationships straight ppl have are societally valued so much higher than the relationships lgbt+ ppl have, and this show isn’t really disagreeing with that in terms of what it continues to show us. And, like, I’m not angry and don’t really care all that much, like- I stopped looking for mass media to validate me in this way a long time ago. And I prefer to see myself represented in media through angst as opposed to nice, happy relationships anyhow. But, like, I’m tired of hearing that people /shouldn’t/ feel upset or betrayed by this, lmao. Like, yeah, there are totally valid reasons for people to feel that way. And it’s not like feelings even need to be validated to be there and deserve respected anyhow, smh.

- But, yeah, I’m serious. I’m over the moon about Ezor/Zethrid and I love them so much more than I could have possibly loved any heroic gays. I hope we get a lot of them being their wonderful selves and living to tell the tale next season :’)

- Hunk/Shay is also still good and quality.

- Also, this isn’t really a failing of Season 7, so much as just my preference but- I kind of wish the show hadn’t moved back to Earth. Because one of the major draws the show has for me is the weird alien culture exploration aspect of it. Without that it’s just kind of one string of ‘intricate plans to overthrow Galra -> intricate plans fail and the enemy seizes the upper hand -> heroes come through with a way to take back the upper hand -> enemies come up with a way to seize the upper hand back’ and so on and so forth in a ridiculous escalation of who can turn into the biggest dumbest giant robot and save the day from arbitrary time limit the fastest. And, like, I realise a lot of fans are here for the giant mech battles but I am so not. So I hope we get away from the ultra militant save earth stuff soon and get back to weird worldbuilding shenanigans soon <.<;;

[downinfront]

Nobody won at the Oscars

Not the viewers at home, who, between the red-carpet coverage and the show itself, were subjected to at least five and a half hours of Oscar-related coverage, a slog by any measure.

Certainly not the embattled, crowd-pleasing musical La La Land, which took home a handful of technical awards, Best Song (for the earworm “City of Stars”) and two biggies (Best Actress for Emma Stone and Best Director for Damien Chazelle) before seemingly winning Best Picture ... at least until it became apparent that Moonlight was the real winner, and presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway had been given the honest-to-Christ wrong envelope. This became apparent, by the way, in the middle of the goddamn acceptance speeches from the La La Land crew, who were forced to hand over their trophies, literally mid-sentence, to the producers of Moonlight.

Not Moonlight, either, by the way. The night’s ostensible victor is something rarely seen in movies today: An immaculately-made, three-act coming of age drama about a gay black man that directly tackles issues of race, addiction, poverty and sexuality. A Best Picture win should have completed an improbable journey poised to make a significant impact within the industry. Instead, its moment comes at the expense of some well-dressed dorks who were in the middle of thanking the people who enabled them to chase their dreams. (To their credit, they forked over the hardware like professionals and got the hell off the stage.) Even Mashershala Ali, the beloved Moonlight breakout who won Best Supporting Actor in the night’s first presentation, admitted to the Hollywood Reporter that the whole thing kind of bummed him out.

Not the Academy, whose sausage-making process was put on painful display in real time for all the world to see. It’s always taken as a given that someone has to lose at an awards show, but dangling the carrot in front of a group of affable, hard-working people only to snatch it away was a bracing glimpse at the cruelty behind the curtain.

Not Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway, a pair of goddamn living legends who used Occam’s Razor (his envelope read “Emma Stone - La La Land,” she assumed it meant “La La Land” and went for it) and left Beatty to come across as a doddering old man attempting to sputter out a justification for why the La La Land crew had totally gotten hosed.

Not host Jimmy Kimmel, who began the show with some surprisingly barbed ribbing of everyone in attendance (cut to Mel Gibson with murder in his eyes), only to steer the proceedings headlong into a way-too-long bit involving tourists in a bus and yet another installment of his endless blood feud with Matt Damon. Kimmel put on a brave face for the Best Picture fiasco, but it was clear there was nothing he could do to save it; he was conducting a train that had already run off the rails and into the ravine.

Not Matt Damon, by the way, who may have taken more hits than anyone during the night. Admittedly, Kimmel hijacking the orchestra to play Damon off during his presentation speech was funny, but the extended skewering of Damon’s work in We Bought a Zoo came off as too mean-spirited, especially when Damon sheepishly countered into the microphone that he was actually proud of that performance.

Not the arbiters of good taste, who must now choke out the phrase “Academy Award-winner Suicide Squad” when referring to that infamous film. (It won Best Makeup, a distinction that’s hard to dispute on merit, but still.)

Not the poor bastards who handed the wrong envelope to Beatty and Dunaway (apparently, two envelopes are created for each side of the stage, depending on where the presenters enter from). They’ll be buried under the Hollywood Bowl before the week is out.

Not Casey Affleck, who won Best Actor for Manchester By the Sea, thus emerging whole from a storm of controversy over years-old, previously-settled sexual harassment allegations that resurfaced late last year, both threatening to derail his campaign and serving as a favorite argument among the Twitter crowd for why Denzel Washington should win the Oscar instead. Judging by the early reactions to Affleck’s victory, that sentiment hasn’t faded. Despite having ridden the performance of his career to defeat industry legends, beloved veterans and promising young talent, Affleck’s win, and his reputation, now has a big ol’ asterisk attached to it. (This is to say nothing of course of his alleged victims, who certainly lost by having to watch him win.)

Not Viola Davis, who won Best Supporting Actress in a walk for Fences despite willfully subjecting herself to category fraud (hers is a lead performance in every sense of the word) so she could face the likes of Nicole Kidman, Octavia Spencer and Naomie Harris instead of Best Actress’ formidable three-headed dragon: Early frontrunner Natalie Portman (Jackie), late-breaking dark horse Isabelle Huppert (Elle) or eventual winner Stone.

Not Film Twitter, which mutated La La Land vs. Moonlight into White People vs. Everyone Else early on in the awards season and took that already-flimsy comparison to its limit, rapidly revealing itself as the very worst kind of Twitter during the broadcast. The narrative seemed to be that the times were too fraught for a frothy throwback to win Best Picture over a gay coming-of-age story, so each win for La La Land was treated as nothing less than a setback for social justice on a national scale, to to the point where everyone took up arms over the fact that a fucking musical won Best Original Score over Moonlight’s atmospheric backing track.

Not Samuel L. Jackson, who revealed on the record that he bailed on La La Land after 20 minutes, and ultimately had to give a visibly disgruntled presentation of that same Best Original Score award.

Not white people, at least according to the aforementioned Twitterati, for whom Moonlight’s victory is liberal America’s long-awaited revenge for ... Donald Trump, I guess? Still not entirely clear on that one. It also remains to be seen exactly which white people took the L here. Certainly not the three credited producers who technically won the Best Picture award, all of whom are white. And not Daniel Katz, David Finkel and John Hodges, the three heads of Moonlight distributor A24, who now have a Best Picture winner to call their very own and will likely reap as much, if not more, of the benefits as Ali or director Barry Jenkins.

Not Hamilton mastermind Lin-Manuel Miranda, whose EGOT bid was denied after Moana’s “How Far I’ll Go” lost to “City of Stars” in the Song category. (Auli’i Cravalho, who plays Moana and sang the song, was one of the night’s few winners for her seamless, mid-note recovery from being whacked in the face with a flag.)

Not the United States of America, who tuned into the broadcast Sunday night to see some good-natured back-patting by Hollywood types, and maybe a little recognition for the movies they shilled money out for and responded to, and that’s it. Instead, they somehow got roped into yet another rehash of Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton after the Super Bowl and the Grammys, and it was just as exhausting as it was the first three times around. The ass-backwards way it ended wasn’t any better. Even if the supposed champion of White America lost for once, you were still subjected to the Hillary effect, watching a bunch of people who followed a dream and did their very best only to have defeat snatched from the jaws of victory; they only made it to the stage to hand over the glory and shove their heartbreak down their throats where they hoped nobody would see.

And finally, not the people who thought the outcome of the show would somehow lead to a seismic change overnight. Tomorrow, Donald Trump will still be President. Asghar Farhadi, the Iranian director of Best Foreign Language Film winner The Salesman, still won’t come into the country while the specter of the travel ban lingers. The stupid wall will still be in its planning stages, despite the elegant civil disobedience of presenter Gael García Bernal. Cultural events can galvanize change, but a quote-unquote black movie winning the Academy Award is not gonna speed up what is clearly becoming a long, fraught process. The damndest part of it is, in six months, nobody will remember who won the Best Picture Oscar, but in a dazzling display of irony, they will always remember the movie that lost it.

Shit, the only person who really won this thing was Donald Trump. At least he knew better than to watch in the first place.