#Miss Squeeze's ABC February | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kpopreactionstoruinyourlife · 6 years

Text

Song Girl - Part 23 - Sungjin Fan Fiction

Song Girl Masterlist

Part 23 - February 2015

Summary: real life fluffy moments as Sungjin struggles to get into songwriting.

Sungjin had lost track of how long he’d been staring at his guitar and the blank sheet of music. It felt like hours of sitting there, drowning in thoughts but realistically it was probably twenty minutes.

But that was long enough for Jae to be leaning into his field of vision with a cocked eyebrow. And he could feel Wonpil staring at him, too.

“I don’t pretend to be a lead songwriter.” Sungjin said evenly.

Junhyeok snorted. “You’re the one with the relationship and the issues, shouldn’t you be?”

“I wanted to be a singer, I didn’t come into this planning to play guitar and write music.” Sungjin snapped.

“Yet you couldn’t dance.” Junhyeok continued, a devilish expression on his features.

“He wasn’t the only one. I’m all bones and limbs. No flexibility or fluidity.” Jae said quickly.

Wonpil was silent.

“I’m going for coffee, text me if you want something.” Sungjin blurted as he stood abruptly. Junhyeok puffed petulantly. Wonpil’s mouth opened but nothing came out. Jae sighed inaudibly. Brian was cramming for a test with headphones in, ignorant to everything happening around him.

Once he was outside, in freezing air, Sungjin felt like he could breathe again.

He was just heading to the coffee place when his phone buzzed with a call, not the texts he was anticipating.

“Hey love,” He said after seeing Ella’s face on the screen. He tried keeping the despondent tone out of his voice but he wasn’t successful.

“Oh, something is up huh?” She said. Her voice was light and cheerful. Unlike him, she’d had a good day. For a moment that lightened his own heart - she’d been downtrodden all too often recently, but he was still despondent. And now his bad mood was about to dampen her first good mood day in weeks.

“Just...song writing.” He said, shoving his free hand deeper into his pocket.

“So...something I can probably not help you with, unfortunately.” Her voice was lower now, sadder.

“You can distract me. What’s up?”

He tried to imagine her in that moment. It was early evening, so she’d probably just gotten done teaching a class, and given that she had just sounded happy, it was a good one. Her hair would be up, most likely in a bun, and there would marks on her nose from her glasses. She would be walking home, or wandering through a store for the necessities for dinner.

“Well, do be honest I wasn’t expecting you to answer.” She said with a laugh, just one. “But I thought we could start thinking about...Valentine’s day.”

“Let me guess, you are currently staring at a display of chocolate?” He could hear the din of shoppers now.

“What do you want?” She asked after beat. She had decided to ignore how he read her mind.

“Aren’t you supposed to know what I want by now?” He said, a smile spreading over his face.

“I study psychology but I am not granted the power to read minds. Right now you probably want inspiration for a song. But I still cannot read your mind. I will not be making you chocolate. I nearly destroyed the kitchen trying.”

She was talking fast again - it meant she was thinking faster than her mouth.

“Obviously I want the most expensive guitar in the world.”

“No.”

“Wow, way to shoot me down.”

“I am not made of money.” The smile was back in her voice, and this time, it was there because of him, which was the least he could do after making it drop out of her voice a minute ago.

“Which is such a shame, then maybe you would pay for dates.”

He didn’t notice he was doing it but he was getting onto the bus.

“I offer!”

“I’m not going to let you pay for dates.” He said chuckling. “What kind of man would that make me?”

“An arguably more feminist one, but I do pay for all the food I make you and that you eat at my place.”

“I don’t need a lecture on the patriarchy, love.”

“A) everyone does and B) yeah, fine, you definitely don’t need one today. I doubt it’d help with the writing. It’d be weird if you all did a girl power, feminist rock song.”

“Says someone who loves ‘bubble gum’ pop.”

“It is happy music! I’m not claiming sophisticated taste. My favorite movie is Harry Potter and my favorite feel good movie is just about anything regularly featured on ABC Family, which also includes Harry Potter.”

“My little fan girl.”

“I am not ashamed, just sometimes embarrassed. Anyway, Valentine’s Day.”

“Hmm...we could go back to the skiing place, hot springs but that’s probably expensive.”

“We could just hole somewhere in the city.”

“...aren’t you the one constantly lecturing me about the population density of Seoul?”

“I am more used to suburbia and I miss it.”

“I wouldn’t mind holing up with you.”

His feet carried him off the bus.

“We can be like mole people.” She said with a laugh, bringing a smile to his face.

“Bake for me, something decadent and chocolaty.”

“I will bake for then, but you have to help.”

“I can help.”

“Perfect, and I have something in mind.” Now she was moving in the store, the other voices rose and fell as she passed other patrons.

“Of course you do, my brilliant girl.”

“Yes, please compliment my brain.”

“It has many beautiful fissures, lovely lobes.”

On the other side of the line, she snorted with laughter. “Sorry!” She said speaking in an embarrassed voice to another shopper but she kept giggling.

“You know, if I had known complimenting your brain would make you react like that…”

“Oh stop, and now you are officially distracting me from your own Valentine’s day gift.”

Above him, a bell rang as he opened the door.

“Did you finally make your way to the cafe?” She said teasingly.

“Something like that, I have a craving.”

“If you say chocolate I will run over to you.”

“Hmm, something sweet that’s for sure.”

“Oh please say the magic word.” She used an exaggerated, breathless voice.

“You shouldn’t use that voice in public.”

“There was no one around.”

“So shameless.”

Finally, he’d reached his destination. Now everything was better.

“If I am shameless, you probably reap the benefits.” She muttered.

He didn’t reply, instead just wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

“Well hello,” She said, without turning around. The call was ended as she leaned back into his chest. His nose was in her hair. It smelled like her, sweet and minty with a touch of takeout food.

“Sorry to sneak up on you.” He whispered, speaking into her bun. Her hands ran over his arms, comfortingly.

“You’re not going to rape me.” That much she was thankfully sure of.

“Nope, just hold you.” He kept whispering.

“What’s up?”

“Just...a long day…”

“So you are here to…?”

“I think I needed to see you.”

“...Aren’t you supposed to be in training?” She whispered.

“Just song writing...Brian is studying anyway and I just...couldn’t think straight.”

“Is everything ok?” She asked, turning back to face him. Her brows knit in concern over her soft, brown eyes. Tension left his body, melting away. Now that he was with her, could see her, everything was better. Brighter.

“You shouldn’t worry about it.”

“I worry about everything, it’s a full time job.” A fun spark flashed in her eyes.

“I needed inspiration.”

“So you stalked me to a grocery store?” She said elbowing him gently. A big smile was spreading over her face.

“You can choose to see it as romantic rather than creepy.” He said finally releasing her. She shook her head, chuckling to herself.

“Oh we don’t want to get into a discussion about what is creepy versus romantic. Movies and cultures have warped my perspective and I am still unraveling it. But sure, I’ll see this as romantic this time.”

How could he ever hope to explain this feeling? A burning, freezing sensation poured down his spine. His stomach tightened, twisted, rose, sank, flipped, and flopped. He felt lighter, at peace, complete. It was beautiful, blissful. He knew he was lucky to be with someone so brilliant.

“Earth to Sungjin?” She said waving a hand in front of his face before slipping it into his.

“Sorry, ready to leave? I’ll walk you home and head back.” He did have to go back but he wanted to bask in the light she gave off to him for a bit longer.

“Yep. You are going to be so impressed with this!” She said with an even bigger grin.

“You are in a silly mood, aren’t you?” He asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Yes, and it seems like you could loosen up.” She said before starting to check out her supplies.

“I can be goofy.” He said under his breath.

“You still only tolerate pizza.” She countered.

“Pizza has nothing to do with goofiness.”

“It does in my head.”

“I think that might be a flawed conclusion.”

“Shh. You called me brilliant, remember?”

“Brilliant people are capable of mistakes.”

“Brilliant people tend to conceptualize failures and mistakes as lessons and challenges.”

“Growth mindset. I remember.”

She paused, a flush spreading over her cheeks. “Ok, that was a turn on.”

“Huh?”

“Just you saying that made me very physically attracted to you.” The blush on her cheeks was deeper but it was only just reaching his cheeks. At least they had stepped out of the store and the cashier couldn’t hear them.

“You need to explain.”

“Hmm A) you remembered something I said to you over a month ago, B), it was something to do with psychology, and C) I think there was an element related to your tone.”

“So that’s the kind of dirty talk you like?” His heart thumped in his chest as his mind spun with ideas for a later time.

“I guess?” She said giving his hand a squeeze. “Something you should remember.”

He was going to miss her. Her brilliance, the feeling of her skin, her warmth, against him, her smile, her bright eyes. Her leaving would be like the sunset in Antarctica, signaling the beginning of months of darkness. He wanted to keep her, his sun.

He was pulled out from his melancholy spiral by a sensation against his cheek.

“You stalk me, then neglect me, are you sure you’re ok?” She brushed his cheek softly, wiping away the chapstick her kiss had left on his skin.

“Lost in my own head.” He supplied but she frowned.

“That’s supposed to be my thing in this relationship.” Her thumb gently, comfortingly, ran over his hand.

“And now you know how it feels to watch your mind float away, leaving me unable to reach you.”

“You were trying to teach me a lesson?” She was, in a word, unimpressed.

“No, but I did think it was a witty reply.”

“Don’t make your stand-up debut yet.”

“I’m already worrying about one type of debut. Plus, I’m already blocked.”

“I did offer for you to read my angsty high school poetry. Maybe it could give you inspiration.”

Sungjin wrinkled his nose while she grimaced.

“I mean it is terrible poetry, I will admit. For a class I made this whole collection all about “my winter” about the period after a guy I was seriously close to, my first kiss, moved away.”

“And it will be in English. And, call me crazy, but I’m not interested in reading my girlfriend’s poetry about another guy.”

Her impish grin reappeared, sending a nervous wave through his stomach. That usually meant she was going to manipulate him, wrap him around her finger. Most times it was so he could take care of a spider, or when she was turned on and interested in a little something-something.

“Would you read poetry I wrote about you?” Her voice was nearly-sultry, and her hand warmer in his.

“Yes, if you wanted me to.” He said without thinking.

Her facade dropped as she laughed.

“Sad to say, I’ll probably write poetry when we…” She didn’t need to finish the sentence. He knew just from the darkness that moved over her.

“...I think I’ve got some ideas for writing after seeing you.” He said as her building came into view. The end of the line for that night for them. He had to get back to songwriting for the others.

“Ohh… Am I your muse?” She teased, that light returning in her eyes.

“A little bit.” He said, a smile playing with one corner of his mouth.

She got that petulant look again. The one that made her look younger, naive, like a child whose toy had been taken.

“You are a definite source of inspiration.” He continued, an impish glint entering his own eyes.

“...I better be.” She muttered as she opened the building and held open the door for him.

The rode the elevator up in silence. He plotted ways to spend just a little bit more time with her. She wished he could stay.

He stayed with her up to her door and into the apartment, setting down the bag of groceries as he stepped in. All he had to do was keep his shoes on - if he took them off, he’d never leave.

Next to him, Ella tugged off her wool coat, undid the thick scarf around her neck, and shoved her gloves into the coat pockets before kicking off her boots to reveal thick, fuzzy socks. At that, he had to smirk. She constantly joked about her [literally] cold feet.

A beat later and her arms were around his neck, pulling down his hood so her fingers could tangle themselves in his hair. He unzipped his puffy coat and her body curled against his, no longer separated by inches of down.

“I won’t ask you to stay.” She whispered. Her bright, brilliant eyes fixed on his. “So three minutes?”

“Love, I take more than three minutes.” He whispered, kissing her forehead. His fingers had found their way to her waist. Her body shuddered with the sudden cold contact.

“Just kiss me.” She replied after rolling her eyes.

That he was happy to do for as long as his conscience would let him. He wanted to steal a piece of her sunshine. He wanted to burn in her light. He wanted everything he could get. He would happily go blind staring at her glow.

He had so much to be thankful for with her in his life. Still, there was thing he was the most thankful for...

His sun was still bright, near-constant. It still filled his sky.

But the days were getting shorter. Months of darkness were coming.