#My posts would get a lot longer though and I notice people are less likely to spread and share very long posts

[bonefall]

Briarlights death makes sense to me. As much as I love her character, the movement technology you’ve come up with wouldn’t be enough to keep her alive in a society where her nether regions are constantly exposed to the outdoors. She would get UTIs and kidney infections very quickly, which would be fatal when you can’t feel pain. My partner has to use catheters to avoid them (he is paralyzed in the same spot Briarlight would be.)

I think it’s disingenuous to have a character that’s paralyzed but have no other health problems or concerns regarding it, even if it’s uncomfortable to think about for some readers. It’s just as ableist to minimize the additional struggles she’d face as it is to kill her off unnecessarily.

Not accusing you of ableism, but expressing my concern. They’d need to find a way for her to poop and pee in a way that’s sanitary and a way to combat infections long term - even if the thought is “gross” to some people it’s the reality she’d have to live with. She should, at the very least, remain immunocompromised.

That is a valid concern. I will keep this in mind-- I'll make sure to note her immediately being cleared out of camp at the first sign of sniffles to avoid it. My cats can do some very minor building and there are now several cats on Jayfeather's Garden Patrol, it wouldn't be too much of a problem to make that area into a comfortable "satellite camp".

I do want to add though that my most important guiding principle is a stronger narrative which includes better portrayals of disabled characters, not perfect rugged woodsman realism. The medicine I add and the guides I write are in the hopes of better representing the lives of the real-life people who see themselves in the fantasy battle cats.

Realism does factor into that of course! But it goes out the door the minute it would smash up against a disabled character's inclusion. This is a series for human beings like your partner; as close to it as I can get by bending the setting when needed.

For example, Epilepsy

Epilepsy was deadly before modern medicine. Full stop. The herbs I created for that guide would not save someone like Shadowsight, whose convulsions are at extreme risk of turning into Status Epilepticus. It would help manage, but Shadowsight's life would have been very brief.

All the chamomile in the world wouldn't replace phenobarbital... or even the older medications, barbituates. Barbituates have been replaced and good riddance, but it's important to understand that even this drug known for causing EXTREME lethargy and horrible side effects was revolutionary. It saved countless lives.

But I'm not here to write a story for the real-life horror that is epilepsy in a pre-modern society. I'm here for the parent who personally thanked me for making their daughter feel less alone.

Evil spirits attacking the living! God knocking over trees! Attacking a bulldozer! That all happens; there's no reason they can't help Briarlight too!!

But I'll make sure to include her being immunocompromised. And I'll include ways they handle that. Just like I included a cat engineer who made a blanket sled.

So... suggestion accepted! I will keep this in mind.

Briarlight's Canon Death

...I will maintain though that the canonical death of Briarlight was one of the worst, most short-sighted, cruelest decisions that has ever been made in this series.

Because ultimately Briarlight is not a real person. She is a writing choice. She is a character based on Vicky's paralyzed cousin, "Dan," and Briarlight was directly modeled on Dan's personality and recovery.

What did the new writing team do, the minute they were writing a series without Vicky? Killed Briarlight to fucking greencough. For shock points. Narrative moves right on back to the MAIN conflict-- Alderheart having feelings for Velvet and Jayfeather enforcing the vow of chastity. ShadowClan officially falls apart in the background lol

It was never about realism, or realistic portrayal of disability.

This series doesn't care about realism when cats have bloody Freddy Kruger deaths in their sleep, or when shadow goo starts eating cat hell, or when lightning strikes Shadowsight. But they suddenly care about how realistic it is that the only paralyzed character survives greencough?? No! Of course not!

In the middle of the CONSTANT "Ohh she's finally in heaven where she can run and jump and not have a disabled life"? And the infamous Squirrelflight's Hope line, "You don't want to be alive again, Squirrelflight! You might become disabled like BRIARLIGHT"

(WHICH BTW THEY STILL HAVE NOT REMOVED DESPITE PROMISING IT YEARS AGO)

I absolutely do not believe for a second that they had a realistic portrayal of an immunocompromised cat in mind when they did it! Hell, screw it. I'll just say it outright;

I firmly believe that the new writing team killed Briarlight because they did not want to deal with her.

I flatly refuse to give them charity towards this choice. At NO POINT did they earn a speck of good faith. They continued every negative trend that was set up by the previous writers (including Vicky herself tbf), and went a step further by killing her to "we need to get rid of some randos" disease.

Not only that; but the Clan dynamics were NEVER the same after her death, because there was no character who could replace her personality. In this cast of cardboard cats, they plucked out one of the few optimists with a clear, unique perspective, not shared by ANYONE else.

My ire wouldn't JUST be because they happened to kill a disabled character in the way they did (though that is frustrating on its own imo). It's because it was Briarlight.

I hope every writer involved with the decision to kill Briarlight in the "Nothing is Happening! Quick! Kill Someone!" book of AVoS chokes on it. I will DIE on this hill and my blood will never wash out of the grass.

[cy-cyborg]

Tips for Writing and Drawing Amputees: Bandaged Stumps

When writing and drawing amputee characters, unless your character only just lost their limb, they don't need to wear a bandage over their stumps.

to be clear, eda's depiction in the show was fine, since she'd only just lost her arm and went (presumably) without any medical attention, but because the show didn't have much time to show her afterwards, I've noticed a tendency of the fandom to draw her wearing the bandage permanently, so that's why I'm picking on her for my example lol.

It's a bit of a trope at this point, and I think it comes from one of a few different places:

Amputees do wear bandages on their stumps, but usually only for the first 6-12 weeks post-amputation, sometimes longer if the amputation was a result of a burn. It's possible people saw this though and assumed it was permanent.

Most amputees wear a sock made of either cotton or silicone under their prosthetics to provide them with some extra padding. These socks, called liners, often stick out from the top of the prosthetic socket and could possibly be mistaken for a bandage from a distance.

Some amputees will wear compression garments for a few months to a few years after their amputations which could also be mistaken for a bandage from a distance. These garments are designed to stop swelling and reduce phantom pain, but they aren't bandages.

Stumps get cold easier because their circulation typically isn't as good as the rest of the body, so some amputees will wear socks over them even if they aren't wearing a prosthetic to keep warm, which again could be mistaken for a bandage from a distance.

This one is funny, but in my experience unfortunately, it's the most common: people think the end of an amputee's stump is just a perpetual open wound that never heals. Meaning to avoid "gore" it needs to be covered. I've met fully grown adults who believed this until I showed up to work/uni without my prosthetics or socks on.

People are uncomfortable with seeing an uncovered stump and so put bandages over it to avoid confronting their biases.

Some combination of these points.

But yeah, unless your amputee has only just lost their limb in the last few weeks, they don't need a bandage.

The ironic thing too, is that for most amputees, bandaging a stump is nearly impossible. I've been in and out of hospital since I was 1 year old and only ever met 3 nurses and no doctors/surgeons who could successfully bandage my stump in a way that the bandage would even stay on. This is because stumps are usually tapered in shape (meaning they are wider at the top, closer to the body, and thinner at the bottom), so gravity will pull the bandage off 9 times out of 10.

On a final note: it's ok to show your amputee's stump, it's not gore, there's no blood, it just looks like a regular limb that just stops early. In fact, if you are writing/creating anything for kids or that is likely to be seen by kids, I encourage you to show your amputee's stumps at least once. I used to work on a disability awareness program for kids, and I lost count of the amount of times kids were terrified of me, because they all expected my leg to be bloody and gory. For a lot of kids, I was their first real-life exposure to an amputee, meaning they'd never even heard of people like me, or they had seen an amputee on TV, but because the show went out of its way to avoid showing the person's stump, they assumed it must have been because there was "something scary at the end" that they weren't supposed to see (kids are surprisingly perceptive, they will pick up on stuff like that without you realising). And scared kids aren't good at articulating why they're scared, and would often say really mean or hurtful things to me. I knew not to take it personally and learned how to handle those situations, but not everyone is used to dealing with kids. For a new amputee (or anyone who's less confident in their disability), the kinds of things those kids would say could be absolutely confidence destroying. I never blame the kids, it's not their fault, but the whole situation could have been avoided if they had seen people like us before they had the chance to hear the wrong info. Good representation like this can be the difference between a kid crying, making throw-up sounds and calling an amputee "disgusting monsters" (all things I've had kids do/say) and them just being like "oh ok, cool."

[kennyluvr]

#☕: main 4 — having a crush on you

synopsis/concept: when each of the main 4 has a crush on you

warnings: none

author's note: i need wendy reqs or reqs for the girls please im desperate for a drop of inspiration 😔 also are my posts too long idk they all feel like whole ass novels

kyle brovsloski

at first, kyle himself wasn't truly aware of the fact that he had a crush on you. he only realized when he found himself getting kind of disappointed whenever you talked to some of the other guys, and plotting ways to get into whatever activities or clubs you were in

but soon almost everyone knew of how head over heels he was 😭

he'd almost follow you around like a lost puppy, going along with everything you say, doing whatever you'd say or ask, and even participating in your weird or sometimes semi-hazardous ideas.

he didn't even mind when you would get sucked into the black hole that is walmart and spend hours there. the longer you wanted to shop, the longer he could stay with you

sometimes you would drag him by the hand through the aisles looking for something, and he'd pretend like he was bored, or he was unentertained. truthfully, he loved that you were even touching him, and the mildest physical affection from you makes him go feral

usually, you initiate any physical contact, but when kyle does he touches you like you're fragile. i feel like kyle's the type to playfully hit people, but he just taps you instead, whereas he'd accidentally knockout cartman or something 😭

he'd just think all day about how much you smiled or how happy you seemed sometimes,

he just enjoys to be close to you and being included in like everything you did. it's lowk obsessive, but in an endearing way i swear

stan marsh

stan made it so obvious that he liked you 😭

literally everybody teased you both for it, but everybody was also lowk rooting for you two to start dating

because he would constantly be staring at you in every class and find every little excuse to talk to you or have an interaction with you. group project? he would come to you. he needs help with something? he'll come to you. you guys just worked so well together, he felt like it made sm sense

sometimes though, he'd get incredibly nauseous around you. he'd keep going to the bathroom every few minutes and you wouldn't know why. it was kind of weird, but you tried not to think too much of it.

he would always act incredibly awkward around you, and he'd get really flustered and anxious when talking to you or being around you, but you found it so cute <33 he wouldn't know what to say or how to act around you, afraid to say the wrong thing and scare you away.

he would be really sweet to you too. stan is generally really kind and polite to most other people, so you didn't think much of it at first, but you noticed something weird when it started to seem like he was trying to impress you.

he'd learn the songs you liked on his guitar and bring you to his house to play them for you. it's so endearing to him how you get so excited and shocked every single time he does it ☹️

he'd bring you little gifts and things that you like whenever he has the chance. if he happens to find a soda or a snack that you like when he's running to the bodega, he'll bring it for you the next day when he sees you.

AND stan is definitely the type to send you gym gain updates and tell you how much he benched you each day. he heard you talking about how you liked athletic and muscular guys with abs, so he makes sure to remind you almost daily about his sports abilities and stuff 💀

eric cartman

just like stan, he'd try to impress you a lot, but being less obvious. he'd want to make himself appear more masculine and "tough." like, he'd be a lot more aggressive to his friends when you're near, and he would talk a lot louder. it would make him really willing to get into fights around you so that you could see how big and strong he is, too

cartman also would get REALLY jealous if other boys have your attention, and he'd do anything to grab your attention and draw it away from them. he'd pretend he needed your help with something, or act like someone was calling you for something

cartman's the type to be a little meaner to you if he likes you to convince himself you that he doesn't for some reason?? he'd try to play them off as jokes, though

he'd act like he hates you, but it's kind of clear he doesn't. when he's chewing the rest of his friends out, he often exempts you from some of his insults

"you guys are so STUPID, did you really think that was going to work? except for y/n obviously, but the rest of you are idiots."

you had a small feeling he liked you, but it was kind of unclear.

you and cartman were also really closer friends somehow, so you just considered that his bias to you might not be romantic

kenny mccormick

kenny was sort of weirded-out when he realized he had a massive crush on you. he found himself fantasizing about every curve and dip in your body, and constantly thought about you.

and although you had a suspicion he liked you, you couldn't be entirely sure. kenny had the tendency to flirt with almost every girl he encountered (he's a little bit of a hoe) and he wanted himself to come off to you as confident to you

and he'd keep "jokingly" asking you to kiss or make out, hoping that eventually you'd agree and it would actually happen

but it was just the way that he got so flustered when you play along and flirt back with him even more intensely that gave him away. he'd start stuttering and blushing, trying to think of something to outdo you again

still, he'd restrict himself a little and think over his words thoroughly before he makes an effort to flirt with you, because he'd be scared he's going to scare you away or make you think he's weird.

he probably googles "how to be charismatic" or "how to make a girl like you back" just to make sure he gets it right 😭

he's literally smitten by you btw. everything you do is so attractive to him, and he talks about you to his friends almost 24/7, telling them about every single movement you made

he felt more at ease around you than most of his other friends too, so he felt safe bringing you over to his house. he knew you wouldn't make fun of him or nag him for it, unlike cartman or other people.

and when you met karen, you got along with her so well. kenny would rant about you to her and tell her all about you, and you were surprised that she knew you so well. and he loves how you always try to talk to her and be friendly to her. she's really shy, so you're one of the few people she finds herself comfortable around.

he loved when you started bringing him food or basic stuff for him and some of his family, at that point he was planning your wedding and looking for rings. he likes you because you're so considerate and kind to him, he just can't help it

[adventuringblind]

Nerospicy has never been so cute

Oscar Piastri x Nerodivergent!reader

Genre: fluff... angst if you squint.

Request: nope but they are open! Max, Charles, Oscar, Lando, George, Daniel and Pierre are on the list. Also open for poly fics if anyone is interested.

Summary: just cute fluff between Oscar and his autistic coded partner

Warnings: idk people who can't mind their own business IG

Notes: This is self-indulgent, and I do not care. I just wanna feel supported, okay? T_T

Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feeling hurt if you ignor this but I wanted to put it out there.

Masterlist

You weren't sure if you'd ever fit in with people. Something about you always felt different from others.

Maybe it was that you didn't understand their antics. Their jokes weren't funny to you, or you didn't understand them. They seemed you as sensitive, but you're really just incredibly empathic.

You were interested in things that they weren't. You hated certain foods, textures, and feeling in general.

Then somtimes it all became too much. Alone in a dark room with headphones in. Attempting to soothe yourself from the overwhelming feelings running through your mind and body.

Your friends wanted to go out of a Friday night. Previously, you were feeling alright and decided to go with. Instantly regretting your decision as soon as you walked into the door of the club.

It was here that you met Oscar.

He didn't really want to be here. He'd given into the pleas of his friends who didn't want to go without him. He liked people and going out to have fun, but he wasn't in the mood right now.

He noticed you sitting at the bar nursing a drink. You looked like you wouldn't bother him, and the bar was already crowded, so he sat down on the stool next to yours.

You briefly looked over at him. Finding your drink to be more entertaining than the male next to you.

You were getting more overwhelmed by the second. The discreetly hidden earbuds only help so much. The vibration of the bass and the lights combined made you want to puke. You wanted to get out of there, but your body was ever so slowly shutting down.

Oscar noticed how your body was shrinking into itself. He didn't want to stare, but it was obvious you were in distress.

"Are you alright?" Asked the Australian.

You didn't look up at him, and words became too difficult, so you settled for shaking your head no.

Oscar thought about it for a minute. "Do you want to get out of here? I'm not in the mood to party, and you don't seem like you are either." He grimaced at how awkward he felt like he sounded. "I promise I'm not a serial killer or something." He laughed but it was more at himself then anything.

Eager to leave, regardless of who the man was, you stood up and made your way towards the door. You didn't have a tab, just water in your glass to make you feel like you belonged.

Once outside the door, you breathe a sigh of relief. Less people, less vibration, and less light.

You wanted to cry, though. Your body still feeling everything.

"Do you need anything? A ride home even? I probably seem like suck a creep right now." Oscar rubs his temples.

For the first time, you fully examine the male. Shocked to see kind features and gentle eyes. He was wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans.

"Thank you." You managed. Not wanting him to feel like a weirdo any longer.

He paused and looked up at you. Wanting to find your eyes but noticing your eyes did not want to find his. "I'm Oscar, by the way." He reached out his hand for you to shake.

Which you did hesitantly. "I'm Y/N."

~

You had explained to Oscar that you didn't live close to here. Over an hour away at best. You'd been exploring the town with friends earlier in the day when they decided to end the night at the club.

He offered you a stay at his apartment for the night and then he could take you home in the morning.

"Actually, can I take you on a date first?" He'd found you intriguing and beautiful, and he didn't want this to be for one night.

You were nervous, to say the least, but when he offered to take you anywhere you wanted to go, the deal seemed appealing. Furthermore, there was a music store you wanted to look at that your friends had passed by. So when he offered, you pointed him in the direction.

"Can I ask you something?" His eyes never left the rode, and you were grateful for it. It helped the conversation flow easier for you.

"Sure." You shrugged.

"Why are you wearing earbuds?"

Oh. You dreaded this. Talking about the way your body and mind work had yet to end well.

Your hesitancy did not do unnoticed, so Oscar quickly followed up with "you don't have to answer if it's uncomfortable."

"Well, it's just that- loud noise makes me overwhelmed, and things like headphones help drown it out." You fumbled.

"Oh I use those at work too sometimes cause it can get loud."

He seemed so natural saying it. His calm demeanor helping you to read him a bit better.

He then proceeded to tell you about his job and ask questions about you. He was very clear when he spoke. Eventually helping you to wind down.

This guy you just met was taking you on a date. Was it a good idea to out yourself? Probably not, but if you didn't care for people opinions much. "I'm autistic."

"I was wondering that but didn't want to ask. I had a friend in school that was, and in some ways, you seem similar to him." He hit his head on the steering wheel. "I'm not trying to stereotype. I'm sorry that probably sounded rude."

You laughed at him. His response was one of the best you'd been given. "It's alright, it's actually kind of cool that you picked up on it."

When you arrived it the music store it was ten minutes to close. The records lined the walls, and boxes of CDs were packed to the brim. Not many people use them nowadays, but it felt comfortable in the little store.

You and Oscar browsed the music and talked about the different kinds of music you like. It felt natural. Even when you knew you were info-dumping, he just listened intently and asked questions about your interest.

Soon enough, the shopkeeper asked you both to leave. You waved a thank you and slid back into Oscar's car.

"Thank you for indulging me. I really enjoyed this." You were shocked to hear that come from him. Mainly because you felt like you talked his ear off.

The drive to his apartment was quiet, but not the awkward kind.

He opened the door for you when you arrived. His apartment was comfortable. It's not super empty or overly decorated. It's just comfortable.

"Right, so you can borrow some of my clothes for tonight and take the room, and I'll take the couch." He didn't even give you a chance to protest as he sped off to gether the essentials.

You two didn't do much sleeping that night. Wasting away the time. The clock moving two fast for your liking. You two spent hours conversing and laughing with each other.

Somewhere along the line, Oscar passed out on the couch, and you had made your way to his room like he said to.

You two exchanged numbers when it was finally time for you to leave his car. He promised to stay in contact with you.

A promise he followed through on. It didn't take long til you were following him around to races.

You were mostly watched from the quiet places in the McLaren paddock. Sometimes, it even curled up in Oscar's driver room. He didn't mind, though, making it a small game you played between the two of you.

You and Lando got along nicely as well. Oscar only getting frustrated when it comes to both of you and your eating habits.

You were manageable, but Lando was just ridiculous in his eyes.

You didn't actively say your autistic but definitely explained why you are the way you are. Eventually, people came to their own conclusions. The gossip pages included.

You didn't really understand the criticism at first. People had always misjudged and misunderstood. But when they started nitpicking your every move, it became annoying.

The names didn't bother you. It was them saying Oscar deserved someone who wasn't as weird.

It followed you everywhere. These labels that the media had given you.

You were happy with Oscar. He treated you so well, and you were doing your best to support him. You two created your own small routines that you enjoyed.

You couldn't even walk through the paddock without journalists trying to question you. The physical souch of their bodies and shouting so they could be heard sending your body into overdrive. You liked the environment of racing, but this was over your limit.

You were so glad you texted Oscar you had arrived. Him responding that he was already on his way to you.

He noticed the journalists first, then you at the center of attention. Your hands in your hair and your breathing rapid. You looked like you might scream.

His legs moved faster than his mind as he put himself in between you and anyone else. Very gently, placing a hand on your shoulder to try and guide you away.

You did end up screaming. Your body needing to release all the pent-up emotions you'd been wanting to release earlier. Thankfully, it was somewhere private and muffled by Oscar's jacket.

You didn't want the so close like that. They were too much. They questions they asked were incredibly invasive. Some even going as far as to ask about intimate things.

You managed to explain to Oscar what happened. His listening intently, watching you play with his fingers in the pattern your head had come up with.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make things hard for you."

Oscar smiled and simply shook his head. "You aren't making things difficult, and on the contrary, you and your nerodivergent brain have never looked so cute."

"I just got done screaming and trying to self-soothe."

"It doesn't matter. You still look absolutely adorable." He kissed the top of your head, hoping to convey what he was feeling without words.

Am hour later, Oscar had posted to his socials about you. A letter to anyone who wants to form an opinion.

"Leave my girlfriend be. Neither of us likes having our personal lives invaded. You like to assume things but don't have all the facts. I love her very much, and that should be all that matters."

As you read it and looked at Oscar, who was giving you a goofy smile for being proud of what he'd just done. You realized just how much he loved you. Despite your labels, he saw past them and loved you for you.

[reveluving]

mother knows best ; phillip graves x reader x jeff sadecki

summary: mama knows love when she sees one. or three. 

warnings: mostly Phil & Jeff’s mom’s POV, mentions of angst (teen!Jeff cheating but not on you, family fights, parents passing away), very tiny allusions to s~mut (minors DNI!), loads of fluff towards the end, Mama Denise is yours and her boys’ number one fan 🩷

a/n: thought I’d use this chance to write this after this ask! this is based on this lil' post! I know Jeff’s mom is named Linda but this is about him and Phil, a.k.a. my mind, so say hello to Mama Denise! pls don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

» interested in more of the series? find it here & here!

Denise Baker has always been a sweet lady. The epitome of a Southern’s hospitality. Married twice, first to a man named Danny Sadecki, then the second being Tom Graves after Danny passed away. They were good people. The best, feeling grateful each day for giving her the best gifts a hopeful mother could ever ask for. 

Two amazing boys. 

Keeping their last names rather than changing them to her maiden name was instinctive. At a one-year-plus age gap, Phil took after his mother’s Southern twang whereas Jeff followed his stepfather’s general American accent. They grew to be one happy family, and the brothers, despite their differences in interests and personality, would fight tooth and nail for one another.

But since Tom’s passing, the boys have been less lively, and understandably so. No matter how well they hid their sadness behind innocent smiles each time their mother was in the room, she could see right through them. She didn’t know what she did to earn such sweet boys, always attentive to their Mama at a young age, but she had always hoped to see the fire in them return someday.

That was until they met you. 

You and Phil were the same age, just beginning middle school with his brother somewhere a little further from the Bakers’ than the town’s high school.

The brothers had been waiting for their mother to pick them up when you slid next to Phil in the waiting chair. It was raining cats and dogs in Wiskayok, so you had to squeeze yourself into the bus stop to avoid getting drenched.

“Sorry,” You squeaked with a guilty smile when your shoulders touched.

Phil was beyond the age of believing in cooties, plus, he and Jeff were a mama’s boy, and she didn’t raise a woman (girl?)-hater. 

“S’okay.” His smile was half-hearted, a little miffed that he couldn’t get to the stand in time when it began raining, and at this point, Jeff had noticed your sudden presence. They’ve seen you before, especially Phil. You always sat in front of him in class, mostly seen with full of life and blinding smile with a missing tooth. 

“Your mom’s coming late, too?” Phil knew he didn’t have to make the conversation any longer than he’d like, but he had no reason to do that with you. You were so… nice, and yet, so respectful. Always giving him a wave instead of barging into his personal space bubble like a lot of his classmates did.

Plus, his mother was already thirty minutes late, what was there to lose?

“Yeah. My brother and I have been waitin’ for a lil’ while,” He replied with a shrug, pausing for a second before asking, “You?”

“Yeah, same,” You responded, though more lighthearted than he was, kicking your feet as you looked at the road, “It’s okay, though. Mom’s always busy. They’re probably tired. So long I’m not alone here, I’m not scared to wait for my mom.”

There you go, with your smile again. Phil couldn’t help but smile back, it was tiny but you could see the slight quirk of his lips. Jeff, too, found your positivity infectious and had been listening.

He had joined in on the conversation moments after. It was fairly light, with Jeff doing most of the talking, but that didn’t mean Phil wasn’t listening and chiming in once in a while. It wasn’t until fifteen minutes later when Denise came, rushing over to her boys with an umbrella and endless apologies. 

You were ready to say goodbye to the two and resume waiting on your own when Denise approached you with a motherly look. 

“Hi, darlin,” She crouched in front of you, with Jeff and Phil at a perfect height as they stood under her umbrella, “I’m Denise, Jeffrey and Phillip’s mama. What’s your name?”

You were a lot shyer with her, considering she was an adult, but you trusted her enough with your name since you kinda knew his youngest. 

“That’s a beautiful name,” Even with the heavy rain, her soft-spoken voice was hard to miss, “D’you know when y’mama will come pick you up?”

You shook your head, telling her that with your mother working at a busy cafe, it could vary. And like you told the boys, you were alright with waiting rather than daring to walk home since the bus stop was always full. Still, Denise, ever the kind-hearted woman, offered to drive you to your mother’s workplace. 

Denise understood that you were wary and good on you for being careful, but to her surprise, Jeff and Phil were nice enough to reassure you. And whether you agreed because of their mother’s gentleness, Jeff’s natural talent to make you feel comfortable with all three of them or even the hint of promise in Phil’s eyes that everything was going to be fine, Denise was glad you did. 

Your mother was extremely thankful, even offered to pay for their lunch for their next visit, but Denise refused and with the two becoming fast friends just as you were with Jeff and Phil, the rest was history.

Though, high school was… eventful, to say the least. While the two of you remained close, almost joined at the hip, you and Phil sometimes preferred backing off as Jeff’s popularity grew. Not that Jeff’s behaviour changed with the two of you, he was still the dorky, good-willed boy you knew.  

Although you and Phil may have fought a little with Jeff when he told you about his cheating on Jackie with Shauna. He broke up with Jackie soon after, but his decision to stay with Shauna may or may not have affected your friendship. You and his brother weren’t too keen on the idea of their own friend/brother being a cheater after all. 

Jeff especially hated it when it rocked what the two of you had. He was dumb enough to think ending up with Shauna or Jackie would make him forget his interest in you, and surprise surprise, it didn’t. The three of you stayed close friends, though he promised never to bring up about Shauna around you or Phil at all.

And then, high school ended. 

Phil’s decision to leave town for the Marines was not only the biggest shock to the neighbourhood but especially to his own family. Not that he didn’t have the means to be one, if anything, his mother and brother knew he’d be one of, if not, the best ones out there. He just never expressed his interest in military work at all. 

Throughout their years as a family, Mama had never seen the two fight so badly until Jeff discovered that Phil had been considering leaving Wiskayok, leaving their mother after they both finished community college. Though their fall-out didn’t last long, no more than two weeks, especially when their mother expressed her worries and sadness over their rocky relationship. 

Plus, Jeff didn’t want what strong bond he had with his brother to end just like that. He cared for his brother too much, and in their moment of vulnerability, he apologized for not doing more in their high school years. When some of his peers saw his little brother as his shadow rather than a person. Phil insisted that he barely cared about them, even flat out said they weren’t necessarily his friends unless it had to do anything with football. 

They hugged it out, and Mama was over the moon. Suddenly, the thought of Phil leaving for the military wasn’t as difficult, knowing that her boys were still going to keep in touch, and on a high note, no less.

He spent his last month in Wiskayok with you and your mother with the most mundane of things. 

But oh, how Mama’s emotions dipped when you, too, left shortly after your mother passed away. 

She couldn’t put it past you for doing so. How could she, when you’ve been nothing but an angel? A one in a million and she’d be damned if she convinced you to stay like a bird in a cage. As much as she and Jeff would love to, insisting that there was something for you in town, but just like with Phil, they didn’t. It was far too selfish of them, and you had so much potential. 

And as thankful as Mama was to have Jeff by her side at all times, there was someone else.

Shauna.

Shauna never sat right with her, no matter how far she was ‘willing’ to go to get to know her future mother-in-law better. Though the smile she brought out of Jeff was nowhere near as big or as wholesome as he was with you, there was a hint of guilt for feeling the way she did. Hoping you’d end up with one of her sons. 

But she wasn’t the only one thinking as such, but Jeff felt that he had lost his chance when you left.

So, he carried himself again to be a better person, especially when he truly believed Shauna was the one, much to his mother’s disbelief. Hell, she’d seen bigger smiles from him when he was with that Jackie girl before they broke up.

But her boy was insistent. 

Maybe, for once, her mother’s intuitions were wrong. 

And as the days went by, the possibility of Jeff putting a ring on Shauna grew higher, Mama did her best to accept her as her own. The two were civil at best, and no doubt that was enough for the two. 

But the years grew dull for the Sadeckis, and the second Jeff came knocking on his mother’s door at two in the morning, his wife not in sight, she knew she should’ve done more to stop what they had. 

It began with petty arguments, with Jeff being the one apologizing to Shauna, despite knowing she was in the wrong or if she began the fight in the first place. Then it became quarrels, something about her nonexistent book club when in reality, she had been meeting up with a man named Adam. 

Each time Mama received a call from her eldest, telling her that he and his wife ‘needed space’, she’d cook up a nice meal and make sure his old room was ready with the amenities he needed.

If it weren’t for Jeff’s attempts to calm his mother down, telling her it wasn’t worth the trouble, she would’ve marched down to Shauna’s front door and knocked some sense into her with a rolling pin. How dare she point her finger at Jeff, attempting to invalidate her own faults by saying it was him who cheated first during their years of marriage, thus, giving her the green light to do the same. 

Although yes, Jeff has done it once, when he cheated on Jackie, he regretted it. Immensely, especially seeing the disappointment in his mother’s face. Oh, how he apologized to her like he had committed the biggest sin of all, and frankly, he did. And though his mother was dismayed by his dishonesty, she knew when any of her boys truly regretted something.

Boy, never has he wished for things to turn out differently and still, he wanted to work things out, when he tried to show his mother what he saw in Shauna.

And she did, but she didn’t see what she or Jeff hoped she’d saw. The final straw was when his wife—his ex-wife disrespected his mother in her own house. He had given her many chances, forgiving her more times than he could count, but he could not stand for her raising her voice at his beloved mother. 

Denise had every right to feel grateful when the divorce happened, but that didn't mean she openly celebrated it in front of her son. But Phil was different, even went as far as having a congratulatory gift sent to their doorstep since he was still on duty. Despite knowing his brother was rolling in dough with his line of work, Jeff couldn’t help but gawk at the gifts, much to his mother’s amusement. A set of cashmere sweaters that probably cost anywhere from half to one grand, complete with a few bottles of fragrances and even one of the finest reds to commemorate the moment. Plus, a personalized rose-gold bracelet for Mama because why wouldn’t he want to spoil her at any given chance?

And though he and his mother did enjoy a few sips after moving back into the Bakers’ house, he couldn’t help but wonder how you were doing.

But he didn’t have to wait for long.

The day you and Phil returned to Wiskayok, standing in front of Mama’s door, she nearly dropped to her knees. Not only has she missed her youngest boy, despite his efforts in calling and texting and visiting in secret each time his deployment ended, but she most certainly missed you, too. It was your first time visiting since the very day you left, after all. Phil didn’t take it to heart when his mother scolded him for not telling her that the two of you were colleagues and maybe were together.

In reality, though, she had a feeling that you were still around. Closer than what you made them believe.

There were days when Phil had a chance to call his mother, and she’d suddenly bring you up. Wondering aloud if you were alright, how life was treating you in God knows where, and somehow, Phil’s confidence in his responses, telling her that he was certain you were doing well, she believed him. Word for word. As if she knew he was with you throughout your journey to find yourself, just like he did.

And she’d be right when the universe reunited you and Phil on the battlefield. When Shadow Company joined forces with 141 and Los Vaqueros, not expecting to find the girl of his dreams amongst the chaos and in those years, you laughed, you smiled, you wept and you released yourself for him and him alone. Finally acknowledging what the two of you were afraid to address as teenagers all those years ago.

Phil couldn’t imagine bringing his walls down for someone other than you and though like with everyone else, he still kept up the proud and almost infuriating act, no one else had the privilege to see the more caring, affectionate side of him except for you.

But Mama wasn't the only one surprised by the revelation.

On the first night of your arrival, Jeff didn't talk much, instead, hanging on to your every word. From the very moment you reached the city alone for the first time, till the very day you carried yourself into your team and reunited with Phil. How you even remembered the gifts you were meaning to give him and their mother in the middle of the conversation. And as the night fell, you insisted on booking a hotel not far from the neighbourhood.

Oh, how Mama has missed the old days when she'd tell you to stay over, making sure to call your mother about your whereabouts. While she wouldn’t dream of replacing your mother, it was understandable how her attentiveness for you has skyrocketed, now that she knew you and his son were coming over much more often. 

Still, she had conditions, eyeing Phil with a knowing look before telling him that you’d be staying in the guestroom. Still spick and span for hopeful days like these. Phil's cheeky smile was worth a thousand words, knowing his mother had caught on to what type of little games the two of you played. Her eye-roll was good-natured, even letting out a hearty laugh when she caught the embarrassed look on your face.

Throughout your stay, she saw how your relationship with Phil blossomed, and how the more-than-friendly feelings between you and Jeff were beginning to rekindle. How her sons’ true emotions—their true colours were showing in that same very house as it always did, as if nothing had changed. Mama knew there was something more to the loving looks they’d give you whenever you looked away.

And when she saw the three of you hanging out and sitting close in the backyard patio, watching the stars and laughing over a stupid stunt one of them had done as kids, she knew that you and her boys were going to be A-ok.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

a/n: we love mama denise. ;; gorgeous rose divider by @firefly-graphics ♡

[laurensturniolo]

Class reunion - sub!Chris Sturniolo X Y/n (fem)

‼️ SMUT ‼️

my first post !!

leave recommendations in the comments or send me things anonymously!

NOT READ OVER!

~~~

Y/N POV:

I’ve always liked Chris. Always, but especially since one day in 6th grade. 

“Give me that back!!” he yelled at me.

“No, beg for it!” I start giggling at him.

Something changes in his eyes, almost like he just seemed in my control.

“Please. I’m sorry. Just please”. 

My expression drops. He sounded so weak, like he needed something from me. He was quite literally begging. I immediately gave it back to him and he smirked at me, almost an evil smirk. 

I still think about that day often. Especially when he has a certain look on his face. The look just screams pure submissiveness. His puppy eyes, his red pouty lips… oh my god. He makes me feel weak. I think it would be wrong to say I’m obsessed with him but I'm definitely obsessed with him. He’s just perfect and I just can’t deal with it.

~ ~ ~

It’s our 4 year class reunion. It’s only been 4 years but when I show up, I feel like I don’t remember some people. I’m 21 now, and I guess everyone else is my age or older too. I came in a tight silky black dress and some brand new tennis shoes, nothing fancy. I do some fancier makeup though, just so I look nice for people. Though I never cared how I looked during high school. 

“Hey y/n!” A familiar voice calls out from behind me. I turn around and it’s my high school friend, Tessa.

“Oh my god, hey Tess! I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“Ugh, I know! You look amazing, how’ve you been?” she asks, smiling at me.

“So do you! I’ve been good, everything’s going good.”

We talk for 10 minutes and then I go around to look at food and decorations. I run into a few familiar faces and give a short conversation. I decide to get some fruit punch just to carry around and drink while I’m here. I finish filling up my class when I turn around and bump into someone, spilling some of my drink on them.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry”.

I look up at this person's face and realize it’s Chris. Chris Sturniolo. My school crush. I slightly blush at him due to embarrassment but also the fact that I’m right in front of him. He seems slightly pissed but he calms down.

“You’re fine, I know it was an accident. You’re y/n, right?” he says in a fun tone.

“Yea, and you’re Chris, right?” I already know who he is.

“Yup, surprised you didn’t call me Matt”. He jokes. God, I missed him.

“Couldn’t mistake you for Matt, trust me”.

He smirks and tilts his head slightly. “Oh really? Why not?” I suddenly freeze. I can’t just tell him I had and still have a crush on him, that’s so awkward. I realize I’m blushing so I disguise it with me being “nervous”. “Oh uh, you were just in a lot of my classes, especially in senior year.”

“Ohhh, right right. So, how’ve you been? You’ve changed… a lot”

I look a little confused. Have I really? I mean I was still going through puberty until senior year. My boobs got a little bigger and my face got skinnier along with the rest of my body and just a minor color difference to my hair. But god, Chris is realizing this? Does this mean he noticed me in high school too? 

“Really? Thanks I guess”

“Of course… you look good” He says ‘good’ almost seductively. I want to ignore it but I just can’t. 

“Thank you… you do too” I smile sweetly.

We talk for a little while longer and I play everything off well, almost no hints I like him. I’m still talking to him when I look down just to avoid eye contact.

He’s hard.

My eyes widen at the sight. I avoid eye contact at all costs to make sure he doesn’t know I know.

“Hey. Whatcha lookin at?”

Shit, he knows. 

“O-oh nothing. Sorry” I laugh it off to avoid embarrassment. He walks closer to me. The 3 feet in front of me turns into a foot or less.

“I know what you’re looking at, sweetheart.” He whispers seductively. “I’m not fooling you, you saw what you saw. Neither of us can hide it now”.

I can’t believe this is really happening. I’m silent for a few seconds when his hand reaches up to bring my chin to look at him.

“I’m talking to you.”

“I-I.. I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry sweetheart. Wanna help me with this?” He tilts his head down to look at his erection. I know what I want to say. But do I say it? I just nod dumbly. He chuckles and says, “Let’s go find a room then, pretty girl.”

We walk upstairs and Chris waves at a few people on the way. God I forgot he’s popular. We finally find a bedroom and Chris opens the door. The second we’re inside, He pushes me against the door and kisses me roughly. He pushes me back a little more so he can lock the door while still in the kiss. His tongue slides on my bottom lip, asking for an entrance to which I immediately obey. I whimper into the kiss only making him get rougher with me. His hands make their way up to my lower hips and he grabs them, making me whimper again. I can feel him smiling.

He pulls away suddenly. I look at him and his eyes are blown out, almost no blue is seen anymore. He looks needy, so needy. 

“Awww you look desperate”. I say in a joking tone.

“Please” is all he can blurt out. I smile and kiss him, I’m taking all control. I kiss him rougher and he starts whimpering. God, it’s so attractive. After a minute, I pull away from the kiss.

“How about we lay on the bed? That okay baby?”

He blushes and his eyes get wider at the nickname. He nods eagerly. I grab his hand and he sits on the edge of the bed. I sit on his thighs to straddle him. I look down to look at his eyes and he looks desperate. I grab his face and kiss him again but this time, I tilt my head a little to really get into the kiss and I can tell he likes this way more. My hand makes its way down his neck, to his chest, then right down to his bulge in his pants. I lightly palm over it and he inhales sharply at the touch. I start palming a little harder and little whines and moans come out of his mouth. 

“Tell me what you want baby,” I tell him, looking in his eyes.

Something in his eyes changes in that moment.

“P-please suck me off. Please y/n.” He says in a whiny voice. I smirk and get on my knees in front of him. I motion for him to take his pants off and he immediately obeys. He takes his boxers off and he’s rock hard. I look at him to make sure he’s fully okay with this and he nods, looking down at me. Finally, I lightly stroke his dick with my middle finger and he squirms slightly. 

I hold his thigh down with my open hand, “Stop squirming or i’ll stop.” He nods and immediately replies, “I-i’m sorry.” I stroke harder and a little faster with just my middle finger still and everything in his body is trying to stop him from squirming. I use my whole hand now and he moans quietly.

“Be loud, baby. It’s okay” I reassure him.

I start stroking him faster and he moans louder. “Y/n, pleaseeee.. o-oh please”

I look at him right in the eyes. “What Chris? What do you want?” He looks down right at my eyes and says, “suck me off.. please y/n/n” 

Everything in me changes after he says my nickname while he’s begging for me. I immediately open my mouth and go for it. I start with the tip and he gasps. He’s trying so hard not to move at all and it makes me smile slightly. Then, I finally lower my mouth and bob my head up and down at a decent pace. He’s a whimpering mess at this point. He keeps saying shit like,

“Pleaseeeee… oh my god”

“So good baby, so good for me”

“Holyyyyy…”

I start bobbing my head faster and I suck a little harder as he’s moaning louder by the second. 

“Y/n god… HOLY-“ I cover his mouth. 

“Shut the fuck up, Chris. Do you want everyone at our goddamn class reunion to hear you moaning for me?” He shakes his head aggressively. “Yea, I didn’t think so.”

I move faster and he’s a mess. His eyes are watering, he’s sweating, whimpering non stop.

I keep doing this until finally I let go. He whines at the loss of contact, I finally take off my dress and reveal that I’m not wearing a bra. His eyes almost immediately look at my tits and he’s in awe. I stand up to take off my black lace panties and he whimpers at the sight.

“God please y/n.. I need you, all of you. You’re so fucking gorgeous” I blush.

“Thank you chris..” I straddle his thighs, right below his dick. He looks directly in my eyes with desire and I lift myself up, right above his dick. 

“How badly do you want this, Chris? Tell me baby.”

“So… so fucking bad y/n. God, please baby. Please ride my cock…” His little whiny voice is so sweet, I can’t say no.

I finally lower myself on his cock and he throws his head back. “You're such a good boy… right? My good boy?” Doe eyes. He gives me straight doe eyes. “Y-yes y/n. I’m your good boy, only yours”.

I finally bottom out and kiss him while I wait  a minute to get used to this feeling. Once I finally get used to it, I start bouncing slowly. 

“H-holy shit.” He exhales. I whimper slightly at the good feeling.

I start bouncing faster and harder and Chris is a fucking mess, this guy doesn’t shut up. He’s whining or whimpering every second, begging me to keep going. “Please, baby. Don’t stop now, please…” “I’m not gonna stop Chris. Calm down, sweetheart…”

I bounce harder and kiss his collarbones while doing so. His legs start shaking and I know what’s about to come out of his mouth. “Y/n… f-fuck I’m.. I’m so close…”

“Yea? Be a good boy and hold it for a little while longer”. I don’t want to sound rude, I just really want us to enjoy our orgasm together. “P-please… please let me cum”

“Almost baby.. it’s okay, almost.”

Tears fall from his eyes as he grabs my hips hard. “P-please!! God y/n/n. PLEASE” His legs shake, indicating he’s so close. “Y/N I NEED TO CU-“ He cuts himself off with a moan while releasing inside of me. I follow with my orgasm a few seconds later, moaning his name quietly.

I slow my actions down, letting him finish. “F-fuck y/n. I’m so sorry… I-I couldn’t hold it…”

I grab his jaw to force him to look at him. “It’s okay baby. I know… I know it was hard.” I grab his face and kiss him sweetly, reassuring him. “You did sooo good for me, Chris. So fucking good” He blushes at my compliment.

“Let’s get us cleaned up” I say, walking to the bathroom to get a wet towel. I cleaned us up for 5 minutes and we lay in bed for a few minutes. We both get our clothes back on and walk out. Yes, my dream with my goddamn crush came true. When we got out, no one looked like they knew what happened. 

Until…

“You dirty little whores.” Nick looks at us both, disgusted.

[transhoverfish]

OK SO IM LATE BUT. MORE SUB3 NEWS!!!

so a few days ago, krafton (their publisher), apparently had this like presentation of their plans over the next like 2 years. and during that they talked a bit about sub 3!

and this obviously creates a LOT of questions. not to worry, though, because unknown worlds added on to this:

im honestly not surprised by this. iirc, when below zero released they said it would be a WHILE before the next game, and they only announced this back in like... january? now, the first game's release was in january, and bz was in may, so it's definitely possible early access with be in spring of 2025. those games did not have multiplayer aspections tho! its possible we'll wait until mid 2025, and full release will likely not be until 2026. but who knows? the first game took like ten to be fully finished!!

and honestly. THANK GOD. i can't imagine any subnautica game having BATTLE PASSES or LOOT BOXES. i would have just straight up ignored this game 😭

i do wonder what these updates will entail! "many years to come" is definitely something interesting to me, because other than bug fixes... i dont remember sub or bz getting many updates post full release. is this referring to bug fixes, or is it implying that it will be in a state of early access for much longer? are they going to just keep adding new things (like the building update for sub1) and taking fandom suggestions? very interested!!

maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but i actually,,,, dont want multiplayer. now i do like bz, and these games arent really intended to be horror games, but also bz is very noticeablely less scary than sub1. and some of it i think definitely has to do with all the extra characters and dialogue. its hard to feel isolated when you know al-an and marg are nearby. so im very happy that it's optional, bc i know i will probably enjoy single player a lot more enjoyable!!

so now... SPECULATION.

so the first thing im curious about that the development team didnt mention:

"uncover the mysteries on an entirely new alien planet"

apprently we are NOT returning to 4546b. which im kind of sad about!! ik the story is very obviously done there, but it feels weird that its going to be some other planet this time around. THERE WONT BE PEEPERS!!!! (well there could be but it would be weird if some other random planet had the exact same lifeforms)

now my next immediate thought is: is this a direct continuation of below zero? my opinion is: no. probably not.

mostly because it mentions up to four players, and robin and alan are, if you look very closely, only two people. now they COULD just create two new characters to go alongside them (my fanfic brain loves the au idea of marg and ryley 🥺) but im just going to assume that with the addition of a new planet, we're going to drop the old storylines. which means no more degasi, sunbeam, aurora, or ayou sisters. we might move away from architects/precursors altogether! (my basis on this is absolutely nothing and i could be wrong, this is 100% just theorizing)

also, i imagine that it would be difficult to keep the plot the exact same with two established characters and then two new ones, depending on how this multiplayer aspect works. if its another crash, it would be a lot easier to just have the extra players die/survive, then try to work in a balancing act of one guy playing al-an.

(also i like keeping the ending of bz vauge. if they show up again, they would have to mention what happened to the rest of the architects, and i think it's much more fun if thats a mystery!)

((also also, im gonna drop a bomb on u all for a second. i actually,,, dont like al-an. i have a deeper connection to probably every single other character in bz. i think they really fumbled al's character and story and he is so incredibly bland to me. it feels like they go nowhere with how he was responsible for the kharra outbreak because the game ends immediately after he confesses! it would be nice to give him another chance, sure, but i personally dread the idea of even more al-an. sorry everyone for this horrible news))

HERE'S A CONCEPT IMAGE

i hope they bring back some cut content creatures for this!! i noticed this new area looks VERY similar to the safe shallows, and several of the fish seem to be variations of ones we've already seen (im already seeing bladderfish and hoopfish color pallettes, and the shark resmbles some early concept art for the shadow leviathan, but with the ice worm's colors...)

will there be more land areas?? is it going to entirely underwater?? more kharra?? NO DISEASE AT ALL?? AAAAAA!!!!

[ihavethedreamies]

Always You | The8

Xu Minghao (The8 - Seventeen)

Word Count: ~2.4k

Pairing: Minghao x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Fluff, Slight Angst

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Jealousy

It is hinted that Jihoon/Woozi also likes the reader but nothing really happens there. Minghao gets jealous.

Author's Note: This was originally exactly 2000 words but after I edited and Beta-ed it, it got longer.

Enjoy!

I am cross-posting this on Archive under the same name. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on Tumblr my name and icon are exactly the same on the other two sites. Happy reading!

"Minghao, wait, my legs are significantly shorter than yours!" You called after him. He halted and turned back to you, watching you jog to catch up with him.

"Sorry." He gave you a smug smile and you glared at him. He always teased you for being short.

"Here, give me your bag." He held out his hand for your backpack, but you hesitated. He already was carrying his own, another bag with miscellaneous things, and the cooler with the food.

"I'm fine." You adjusted the straps, and he narrowed his eyes.

"You sure?"

"The bag isn't the problem, it’s because you're a freaking tree. A skinny tree, but still a tree." You shoved him playfully and then continued on down the sidewalk away from the parking lot. You two were supposed to be meeting a few of your friends for food and games. It was good to come to the park because it was big and open, and most people didn't care about the noise the boys would make. Even better was that not everyone was going to be there. Jihoon, Wonwoo, and Junhui either can control their volume or are just quiet anyway. Soonyoung, Mingyu and Seokmin however…

"So, uh, does Jihoon know you're coming?" Minghao asked out of the blue as you went up the stairs towards the river.

"I don't know, why?" You looked at him and he avoided your gaze.

"Just…wondering." You had a feeling why he was asking. While nothing official had happened, you two had been getting closer than most friends do. He even almost kissed you one night. Jihoon on the other hand had actually asked you out, but then treated it like a joke. You weren't completely dense, you knew he liked you, and that Minghao would get jealous sometimes. What neither of them knew though was that for about the last month or two, you were convinced that you were legitimately in love with Minghao. Your first love was actually your high school best friend, but when nothing ever came of that, and your heart kept getting stepped on, you decided to never like a friend again. You didn't know Jihoon nearly as well as Minghao, so it scared you a little less with him. Losing Minghao…not possible.

You two walked in silence the rest of the way, and when you caught sight of the rest of them, you braced yourself.

"MINGHAO! (Y/N)! We're over here!" Soonyoung shouted, jumping up and waving his arms.

"Kind of hard to miss the tiger shirt…" You muttered; the boy next to you huffed out a laugh. Mingyu was laying out a large picnic blanket while Wonwoo was getting food out from their cooler. Junhui and Seokmin were taking a bunch of games and toys out of several bags, honestly making a mess, probably looking for something specific. You snuck a glance at Jihoon who was sitting in a camping chair strumming his guitar.

"Hey, (Y/N)." He called out and you nodded politely. He stood up, placing his guitar to the side and took your backpack as you slipped it off. Casting a look to Minghao, he diverted his gaze quickly, setting the cooler and other bag near Seokmin.

"You get the Coke?" He asked, nodding over to the cooler.

"Of course." His question was a no brainer.

"Here, sit here." He moved the chair forward for you.

"I-I'm good." You waved him off and before he could insist you jogged over to where the two tallest were setting up the food.

"Oh!" You noticed a snack that you really liked and grabbed it. You didn't get to eat it too often because it was kind of hard to find, nowhere near your apartment ever had it.

"Yeah, Jihoon found it and bought it for you." Mingyu informed and you slowly put it down and helped Wonwoo to get the rest of the stuff.

"You good?" Wonwoo whispered next to you, and you nodded.

"I think." You glanced at Minghao and the man next to you glanced over there too.

"You ever gonna tell him?"

"I don't know." You replied. You had known Wonwoo the longest, he actually introduced you to everyone else. You met in college, both working at the library. He was a lot like you and had similar interests, but you both agreed you felt more like siblings.

"(Y/N)!" A voice called and you looked up at Junhui.

"Catch!" He shouted and you barely had time to react before you reached up to receive the incoming bottle. You almost fumbled it but recovered and looked at the drink. Once again, like the snack, it was one you really liked but was hard to find.

"Where'd you find this?" You shouted to him and someone closer answered.

"It was in the bottom of a fridge at the convenience store." Jihoon told you and you snapped your head to look at him. How did he learn all of your favorites, let alone remember them?

"How did you-" You began, and he just shrugged, giving you a smirk. Twiddling the drink in your hands, you weren't sure how to feel. It was really sweet, but… Looking at Minghao again, he was pretending to be preoccupied with filling the Nerf guns with the foam bullets.

"(Y/N)!" You were tackled by a Soonyoung.

"Gah, what!?" You tried to shove him off of you, but he wrapped himself around you instead.

"Thank you!" He repeated several times. His favorite kimchi was from a place near where your parents lived, and you had brought him a big jug of it.

"Yah! Kwon Soonyoung!" Jihoon scolded him, slapping him hard on the back and yanking him off of you. You quickly stood and fled, running to the safety of Minghao. Hiding behind him, you crouched down next to him and peered around him at the shorter guy wailing on the other one.

"You really like those snacks he got you…" The boy next to you muttered and you looked away from the carnage to see his small grimace.

"It’s not because he's the one that got them." You replied and he shrugged. Instantly feeling bad, you wanted to say something to him, but were not sure what to say or how.

"Okay! Let's eat and then we can run around and scream." Junhui announced, carrying the drink cooled over to the middle of the blanket and you all sat to eat. You settled down next to Minghao and Seokmin sat on the other side of you. There was some fighting over the food, but you were able to calm down the nonsense before stuff started getting thrown. Despite Jihoon having bought you your favorite drink and snack, you kind of just ignored them. You could eat them later; you really didn't want to make Minghao feel worse. For some reason, guilt was building up faster and faster, you really just wanted to let everything out. Glancing at Minghao, you noticed he had a bit of food on his cheek, so you bunched up your sleeve to reach up and swipe it off. He froze and no one else seemed to notice. Peering at you, he wiped at the spot with his hand himself and shot you a shy smile. Listening to the ridiculous argument going on between the rest of them, you readjusted your position and leaned against Minghao. You could see Jihoon's eyes flash over to you and you focused intently on Mingyu despite not really understanding what was coming out of his mouth. Lost in your own thoughts, everyone else finished and decided to start the games.

"What do you wanna play first, (Y/N)?" Mingyu asked and you thought for a second, looking behind you at all the toys laid out.

You ended up playing a game similar to capture the flag, but it was more like the game on Fall Guys where you have to steal the tail. Everyone split up into twos and put on the flag belt, the single yellow flag snapped onto Junhui's belt. You were teamed up with Wonwoo, Minghao was with Jun, Seokmin and Soonyoung (the loudest possible combination), and finally Mingyu with Jihoon. When Jihoon called for it to start you ran at Jun, Wonwoo blocking Soonyoung from tackling you. You reached out, yoinking the yellow flag from his belt and running away cackling. The magnet on the flag attached to the one on your belt as you ran. Using the zig-zag maneuver, you avoided Minghao trying to get it back. Suddenly, you were up in the air and with a yelp you realized Mingyu had slung you over his shoulder.

"I have the flag!" He cheered.

"No, you don't she does still!" Seokmin protested and you tried to wiggle off and his hand came to your butt to hold you in place. You yelped and smacked him, and he apologized, moving his hand but not letting you go.

"Kim Mingyu, put me down!" You shouted and the alarm went off stating the round was over.

"We won!" Mingyu cheered and there was a great deal of protest, and he let you down finally when Jihoon prompted him to. The shorter one's arm wrapped around you, plucking the flag from your belt with him being much too close. Your face warmed, but it was more from embarrassment that Minghao was watching like he was. You chuckled nervously and backed up, suggesting you move on to a different game. As the day continued you played many different things; shot each other with nerf guns, tossed a frisbee with the hidden intent of actually hitting someone, chicken fights. Rackets for badminton were brought but no one thought to bring shuttlecocks. Soonyoung wanted to have a water balloon fight, but it was not quite the weather for that. Mingyu had an idea to have a race but one person had to carry the other…So, you ended up on his shoulders. You weren't quite sure about this, and you would have felt much safer on his back, but he insisted. Wonwoo ended up with Minghao on his back, Seokmin carried Junhui and Jihoon had to team up with Soonyoung.

"Can I please get on your back?" You asked him and Mingyu insisted he wanted to do it this way; that way it was actually harder than just running on his own. Looking over at Minghao next to you, he seemed still a little cranky and wouldn't look at you. When it was called for everyone to run, you clenched your thighs and dug your fingers into the fabric of his shirt at the shoulders and he took off. You tried not to scream as he ran and you hoped this was the craziest idea of the day.

It was not the craziest idea. Somehow you ended up in the center of a monkey in the middle game. You guys played kick the can, but the can was full, then they would play rock-paper-scissors and the loser had to open it in their face. That was sticky. They wanted you to play the game with them where they hold onto each other's  and try to pull everyone apart; you decided to just watch that one. A game of tag broke out, but no one was declared it so everyone was just running around. The worst was prevented though when Soonyoung suggested fishing in the river BY HAND. Everyone else shot that one down. By the time the sun was starting to set, you were lying under a tree trying to catch your breath. You had taken your sweatshirt off a long time ago, tying it around your waist, the grass tickling your bare arms. You heard someone sit down next to you, your eyes were closed to prevent the sun from getting in them. You tried not to flinch when the person brushed some hair off your face.

"You tired?" Jihoon's voice didn't surprise you too much. You opened your eyes and turned to see him looking softly down at you.

"I would be more concerned if I wasn't." You told him and brought your head up some to watch Seokmin try to catch a frog and failing. They had so much energy. Resting your head back again, you just reveled in the rest and soon a third person wandered up.

"You need to go after him, he's leaving." Wonwoo whispered to you, and you shot up to see Minghao storming away and Junhui calling after him.

"Is he okay?" Jihoon asked and you stood up and took off after him.

"(Y/N)!" He called after you himself and you flew past the rest of them. He was already at the bottom of the stairs and heading toward the parking lot.

"Minghao!" You shouted and you know he heard you, but he didn't stop.

"Hey, wait!" You tried not to trip down the stairs and kept going.

"Xu Minghao!" Reaching for his hand, he turned to you aggressively and the look on his face took you aback.

"What? Shouldn't you be flirting with Jihoon?"

"What are you talking about? He keeps approaching me! There's nothing going on there!" You motioned behind you vaguely.

"Really? He sure thinks there is."

"What do you mean?"

"Soonyoung told me he asked you out."

"Yes. But it was a joke."

"Was it?"

"Look, either way, nothing actually happened. Yes, he bought me those things I like, but that doesn't mean we are dating-"

"Do you want to though?"

"What?"

"Go out with Jihoon?"

"No! I don't. He's not-" You didn't get to finish since he stepped closer to you and cut you off. He was so close you had to tilt your head back to even see his face.

"He's not what?"

"He's…he's not you." You finally breathed out and his eyes softened, his hand came up to cup the back of your head. Your breath hitched and you expected a soft kiss, a hug, but he bent down and crashed his lips on yours. You gasped at the emotion behind the act, your eyes welling up with tears. His other hand pulled you closer by the small of your back; you dug your fingers in the fabric of his shirt at his sides. When he pulled back you whined, and he chuckled. You were already standing so close, but he hugged you closer and held him as tight as you could.

"It’s always been you."

Masterlist

[throwaway-yandere]

ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴀɴsʏ-ᴛᴇᴀ

“𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐬. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐲𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐦, 𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞. 𝐀 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝�� 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐬.”

— Researcher Astrilde's (deceased) husband, log of event ███-K19.

Starting February 14: I will no longer answer asks about myself. As much as possible, I do not want to be perceived. Over the past year, I feel as though I'm treated less like a human being and more of a content machine. Some of these experiences include...

Receiving a casual death threat.

Getting NSFW asks when I have repeatedly stated my asexuality.

Bombardment of constant requests for fic continuations, only to be at the end of radio silence once it is published.

Glossing over genuine requests for mental health stability. I'm aware Tumblr is not my therapist, but I still feel icky about the time I begged for someone to talk to me in Morse code only to receive an ask about a yandere idea they had with the language. It's incredibly tone-deaf. Another instance I have felt terrible about is receiving a playful ask (though likely unintentional) about grief when it has been quite obvious through my posts that I find it incredibly difficult to deal with for the past few months.

This perception has taken a toll on my overall well-being, and I find myself yearning for more genuine interactions. I'm already a very lonely person in real life since I'm forced to prioritize my studies over social interactions due to financial instabilities, but Tumblr has begun to feel like a lonesome space for me as well.

If you wish to talk to the person behind the screen & have fun rambling hours with, don't be afraid to DM me. Don't send asks unless it's content related. DM. me. If not, consume the content as you normally would. It's okay. It's very valid of you to do so!

The more I interact, the more I feel like a comedic relief & performer and not a full-pledged "human." I've spent nights without sleep wondering if people who interacted with me truly think of me as a friend. So if you've noticed I talked a lot a week before Feb 14, this is why.

Astrilde ████-████████, better known as "Ansy", is a junior researcher under the Department of Mythology and Folkloristics. They are known for their hands-on explorations of SCP-█████-B, SCP-█████-C ("Teyvat" & the "Astral Express"). Currently on an unpaid vacation.

𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻:

𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗮𝘀𝗲𝘀: "Ansy" (@ansy-tea), Retainer An (@ansy-ansy)

𝗢𝗰𝗰𝘂𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Psychognosis Specialist (yandere writer & artist)

𝗥𝗮𝗻𝗸: Junior Researcher (AR 60, Asia server)

𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗔𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻/𝘀: Kingdom of Faerghus (???), Abyss Order (formerly), Kamisato Clan (Ayato & Ayaka main), Stellaron Hunters (Blade main)

𝗔𝗻𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻:

𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀: Alive (Age: "19")

𝗖𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀: Euclid (formerly), mostly neutralized

𝗔𝗻𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀: Exhibited "draconic" properties, including scales and bioluminescence. After experiment ███-K19, their 2 sets of eyes are the only visible anomaly that remains.

[reikunrei]

okayyyy so i made a post abt this last night that was just a short ramble trying to piece my thoughts together but basically... i’m just really curious how will’s (possible) powers might manifest and what they might be, and i’m trying to like. reason out how i feel about them and what i personally think would be cool or fitting...

lots of people have talked about this before (like user pinkeoni has made some really good posts abt it, and i think heroesbyler has had good discussions abt it too) and what his powers might be, and a lot of them revolve around creation or light, both of which i’m very fond of

this isn't so much a theory or prediction as it is a "these are things i noticed and i think this would work well with the themes of the show" type of spiel. it ended up way longer than i wanted it to and goes off on multiple tangents because i can't stop myself, so i'm putting it under the cut lol

it's more just for me to try and articulate what i'm feeling about it, but if anyone actually reads this mess, you're more than welcome to share your thoughts :3

with the creation stuff, it automatically makes me think of the UD taking the shape of hawkins... because we know that henward grew to hate that town so why would vecna shape the UD to look like the place he hated? i suppose it could be bc he wanted to take revenge on the town, so why not daydream about it and destroy your scale model of it to get some catharsis, right? but... then it's frozen on the night will went missing? it’s possible that the UD could have simply taken the shape of hawkins when the s1 gate was opened and made the two worlds touch, thus making the UD a true "mirror" dimension of hawkins. but i also really like the idea of will getting sucked into the UD, panicking, wishing he had his hiding places to go to to escape from this monster chasing him, and poof! now he's in hawkins and all of his hiding places are there (he's good at hiding!) but it's still the "wrong" hawkins

but anyway, i want to move on to the "light" angle because there's so many things that i love about the possibility of will's powers taking the form of some kind of light to counteract the darkness created by vecna and the UD ("hide in the light" thank u max)

i especially think it would be cool for it to take the shape of some kind of fire or flame, even if the powers themselves don't behave like fire, like it's just a stylization choice to give some sort of visual that the characters and audience can see

i don't recall if there's any specific moment where any version of henward/vecna/001 or other characters talk about burning or fire as a form of destruction in a metaphorical/symbolic sense, but we see it enough of it literally throughout the show. fire is a means of causing pain, of killing, of destroying

season 1, nancy and jonathan think to burn the demogorgon to a crisp because, hey, that'd be a pretty effective way to kill something, right? so they carry that theory over into all the other seasons

season 2, we see hopper using his lighter to maneuver through the tunnels below hawkins, and the vines flinch away from the flame. we see owens and the lab using fire to cull the "weeds" still growing out of the gate. we see will react physically to the burning, feeling the pain through the link with the hivemind, and requiring it to be cold in order to not be in physical agony

season 3, uuuh i can't remember any direct usage of fire against the fleshflayer other than the fireworks, but that's more about the explosions than the flames imo lol. but we do get the sauna test (best s3 episode hands down mwah love it) and the aversion to heat that we see in billy and also in heather, though less prominently

season 4, we get murray's killer flamethrower scene and hopper using the flaming spear to keep the demogorgon at bay. our hawkins crew relies heavily on use of fire (flambé) in order to take out vecna's physical body

so there's just a lot of fire and fire as a means of destruction. but i can't help also thinking about how fire isn't purely a means of harm. fire keeps us warm, it brings us light in the darkness, it cooks our food and brings us health. the sun, a giant ball of fire, is essential for life to exist on earth. i especially keep thinking about how wildfires are a necessity to the planet, and in places like healthy grassland ecosystems, fires are crucial to burn out old growth to make way for new, fresh green, which the animals there then rely on. letting old growth continue to sit and dry out and die isn't good. it has to be removed completely so that new grass shoots can take over

(not to mention that allowing for controlled burns and letting wildfires run their course in a regular system ultimately allows for fewer, less destructive wildfires to happen. if there's no old, dry growth to burn, then there's less stuff to catch on fire)

how does this tie into the show, though?

to me, it makes me think of the concept of simply living with your trauma, not talking about it, and pretending everything is fine, when all that's doing is creating more kindling for a bigger, more destructive fire. it makes me think of season 2 and the conversation will has with jonathan about how everyone keeps treating him like he's gonna break, and the instructions joyce and hopper got from owens to just "treat him how you normally would." you can ignore trauma all you want and pretend everything is fine, but it's going to be more destructive in the long run. instead, letting him talk about it, listening, letting him burn things down a little bit, will be healthier because it'll clear out that old, dry grass clogging everything up and leave a clean patch of earth for him to build back up with new, healthier growth. you can take a weed wacker to it all you want, but those old roots are still there

not to mention the way they get rid of the mind flayer is to "burn it out of him." they literally let the "fire" run rampant, cranking up the heat to make his body inhabitable to the mind flayer, clearing out those nasty "weeds" so will can grow on his own (more or less) unimpeded

and then there's the s1 flashback scene between will and joyce where he's drawing will the wise shooting green fireballs. joyce asks, "why does he need fireballs if he's so wise? can't he just outsmart the bad guys?" but will explains that sometimes the bad guys are smart too, so he needs the fireballs

only here, they're green because he doesn't have a red crayon. this specific tidbit makes me think of how will's powers are currently repressed in some way. at that time, it was possibly because his powers "hadn't come in" yet, if we want to follow the idea that powers are a symbol for puberty or coming of age

he hasn't "found his flame" yet, so to speak (which is what got me thinking about all of this at all last night bc of the song 'find your flame' from the sonic frontiers ost the absolute slapper that it is) and at this point it's obvious that any awakening of his powers will happen in s5 when he's no longer being suppressed, much like how he currently has to suppress his true feelings, or how he's been unable to move on from what happened to him in s1 and 2

he has to use "fireballs" because sometimes the bad guy is smart. sometimes the bad guy has a trick up his sleeve (like *checks notes* literally not being able to die) and your original plan won't work. you can stock up on weapons, you can create as many sneaky ambushes as you want, you can solve all of the bad guy's riddles, but sometimes you need the fireballs

and, once again, we come back to how i feel like will's powers won't be literal fireballs, or something he physically wields. when it comes to el, henward, and kali, as well as the other powers that we see from other subjects, it's all something that they do. and here's where i start to struggle with how i want to articulate what i think about will's powers...

to me, will's possible powers aren't a weapon in the way that we've seen other powers used, or at least framed as, a weapon

like... i guess i do think that it's something that he can "do," but it's less "i'm going to move this thing with my mind" "i'm going to go into your head and walk through your memories" "i'm going to make you see something that isn't really there." like, he himself, his person, his mind, his essence, his intent, is the power. will byers is the light. why else constantly bask him in rays of sunshine, hm?? lol

again, i want to touch on the possibility of the UD hawkins manifesting simply because he wanted it to. he didn't think about it, he didn't deliberately go like "okay and now this house is here and this place is there" it simply... was. it just happened without much of his input other than a vague wish and panic

if we want to make it into something more deliberate, it makes me think of lio fotia in promare. the movie is basically about this group of people who suddenly developed "burnish" abilities, where they contain fire and have some sort of fire powers. they're persecuted by the rest of the planet, and are treated as terrorists and locked away in prisons and experimented upon. the fire, or "promare," inside of them is a double-edged sword, where they supposedly rejuvenate their bodies, but if they don't let it burn, it instead kills them and they turn to ash. spoilers i guess (you should definitely go watch this movie i highly recommend it), but near the end of the movie, lio is taken captive by the antagonist, kray foresight, and our other main chara galo thymos tries to save lio. kray lashes out using his burnish powers and tries to burn galo, but lio launches his own flames toward galo to protect him. when galo's firefighting team finds him, he's on fire, but he doesn't notice because the fire doesn't hurt him. it's a special kind of flame that doesn't burn! in the end, in order to save the world, they have to let it fully burn one last time, and galo and lio work together to wrap the entire earth in a massive wave of fire, and it's fire that takes the form of water. it engulfs everyone, but everyone realizes that it doesn't actually burn

i'm getting off topic but !! now we start getting less into "will has fire powers" and more "his powers are light and warmth" instead. like lio and galo's combined powers and intent (that's the other thing, that final big burn is different than the rest because of the intent behind it), it's not actually about the fire, it's about its purpose

he needs the fireballs to fight the bad guys, but in the case of our "bad guy," literal fireballs don't work. henward's past is a complicated one, and a lot of where he's been led was caused by his lack of a proper support system. he was villainized for being different. even when he was found by someone who "cared" for him, it was for that man's own personal gain, not because he actually cared about henward

henward was only ever burned and then left in the cold. nobody gave him a second chance like el, nobody listened to him like will. he was forced to fend for himself on his own in the darkness. he came to rely on the darkness. vecna literally focuses on the darkest thoughts of his victims in order to gain enough power to open gates. and sure, focusing on negative emotions gives all of our characters with powers some burst of strength

but then we're shown that love is what makes them even stronger. focusing on happy memories, memories of friends and loved ones, memories of the love itself, is what allows el to overpower 001 in the lab and to close the gate in s2 and to break billy out of his tether to the fleshflayer. and even in that final showdown in s3, she's not using her powers. she's burned out. in that moment, it's not the powers themselves that save them, it's the message behind it

will's whole character is about love and understanding. he puts himself last consistently, he puts the needs of others above himself, and he does not know how to be a little bit selfish when it comes to his feelings. he's sensitive, he's kind, he's artistic, he cries easy, he relies on his friends and family to feel safe and loved, and without them, he feels lost and hurt and alone. and there might be ups and downs, but he gets that love and support from them. they always have his back. he knows what it's like to feel pain and to suffer, but to have people who will stay by your side unconditionally through it all

and that's something he can offer to vecna and his alternate versions. he can offer that love, and that warmth, and that light in the darkness. and once again, i think it would be neat if it was less of a literal flame or source of light, and that it was will who is the source of light. like, he is the example for henward/vecna to see. he's the proof that despite all the bad shit there is in the world, there are people who will still love you anyway. there's people who will listen to you and care for you even if everyone else shuts you out

and even if it does take the form of something literal, of an actual flame or glowing ball of light or more of those glowy particles, it's not a weapon like the other powers we've seen

it's also about just shining a light on all the good stuff that's mixed in with the bad stuff. again, there is no black and white (thanks brenner, you fuck). henward was miserable in his life, he hated it and was frustrated that he felt trapped in a cage, and he only saw all the bad in the world. he couldn't see any of the good mixed in (ie. the possibility that he was friends with scott clarke as a kid, or even the fact that victor was really so caring and loved his son so much) because he just assumed it was all bad and he'd have to start from scratch to get any of the good he wanted

even focusing on the negative thoughts and feelings of his victims, vecna was able to be evaded by thinking of happy memories that took place at the same time as the bad ones. "hide in the light." again and again, we see max use memories, both past and present, to free herself from his clutches. good memories that still exist alongside the bad ones. and if vecna acknowledges that there's still good mixed in among the bad, his whole source of power, the foundation for his plan, completely crumbles

if will's power has to do with light, then he'll be the one to shine the light on all of the good memories that henward had mixed in among the bad. and this isn't to victim blame this 12 year old boy who was miserable and didn't know what else to do, but it's instead about his lack of support system, and how it's understandable to have grown so jaded, but that doesn't mean everything is bad, and there's still a chance for him to come back from it and change his way of thinking

henward was a wildfire waiting to happen, and rather than having someone to let him burn a little, to let out his anger and listen, he was trimmed back and suppressed. he had his old growth left there to dry out, which only added more kindling. he was never given the room to bring in new growth

and then to really tie in the use of fire to match the theme of "no black and white," i think about avatar the last airbender, and specifically the sun warrior temple that aang and zuko visit in the final book. in book 1 of atla, aang tries to learn firebending and jumps in too quickly, ends up burning katara's hands, and swears off ever learning firebending because he doesn't want to hurt anyone with it. in book 3, zuko offers to teach him, but aang is still very timid about it because of that incident in book 1. zuko also finds his firebending ability diminishing, and they surmise that it's because he no longer has this drive to find and capture the avatar. that was his source of power, his purpose, and now that it's no longer his purpose, he has to find the true way to master firebending. so, the two boys travel to the sun warrior temple to try to find answers. there, both zuko and aang admit that they really only see fire as something destructive, but the sun warriors remind them that fire is warmth and light and life. fire can be destructive, but it is not only destructive. it's something beautiful and necessary, you just have to respect it

feels pretty fitting for stranger things, yeah?

so, to wrap this all up before i go fucking crazy:

i personally think that will's powers will predominantly take the form of fire or light

i do also still adhere to some of the creation power theories, but it also wouldn't be crazy for him to have more than one power, right? after all, el can use telekinesis, track someone's physical location, and go into their minds. that's 3 pretty different things that she can do!

will is directly tied to the behavior of the lights in s1 and called back to in s4. throughout the show, and especially in s4, will is basked in sunshine on multiple occasions. sure, those instances are mostly about his bond to mike, and how mike sees him in this halo of light all the time...

but that still ties into the theme of love. those rays of light are about mike's love for will, and vice versa. but that kind of unconditional love and acceptance is something that will have to be extended to henward and vecna. therefore: light is the key

and again, it just feels very fitting to have the key be something like fire. something that's so often villainized and only seen as bad and destructive, when it truly is something that's misunderstood. unchecked, it can run rampant and cause pain and grief, but when respected, it can bring life and healing, for lack of a better word

so far, we've only seen fire used as a means of harm. it does keep our characters safe (ie. hopper's flaming spear, the flame thrower, the moltovs, etc.) but it is wielded as a weapon first, when it doesn't have to be

fire can cause pain, yes, but fire is also passion and love. light is something to be extended, to help people find their way out of the darkness, and i just think it would be really cool to see vecna, who's always shrouded in darkness, or henward who hid away in the dark attic surrounded by candles, to have a ray of warm sunshine like will byers hold out a hand to him and try to help

[emotionallychargedtowel]

the persistent and the cute

Over the last few days, there’s been a really interesting discussion in the comments of my reblog of the gifset @tinngun​ put together of the Utsukushii Kare season 2 finale kiss. I’m transplanting it here because 1) it seems like @tinngun​ could use a break from all those notifications and so forth 2) the conversation was totally getting buried and I think it might be interesting to folks who probably wouldn’t see it without it being brought back out into a main post. So, first, here’s a quick recap of what I posted when I reblogged the gifset post in the first place. Well, the part that’s pertinent to this conversation, at least. I commented on the tropeyness of the scene, including allusions to Hira and Kiyoi’s sexual relationship, which (from what I hear) gets quite a bit of time in the novels but by virtue of TV as a medium, is mostly not portrayed in the series. In other words, since this part of the relationship isn’t shown directly the vast majority of the time, it has to be sketched out through these allusions, including what I’d consider coded language. 

With regard to the coded terms, I brought up something @bookittyboop​ had mentioned to me previously, that “persistent” and “cute” have specific meanings in BL/yaoi/other related genres. Basically, someone labeled as “persistent” is more active/forceful sexually and someone labeled as “cute” is yielding/more passive, with these roles being mutually reinforcing (i.e. the more yielding the “cute” person is, the more forceful the “persistent” person becomes).

Then I talked about the way Hagiwara Riku’s voice shifts in the line, “Sorry, Kiyoi. I can’t wait any longer tonight.” I had checked out some clips of other roles of his and noticed that among other things, he really seems to use his voice to differentiate between characters. This helped me to notice how distinct his “can’t wait” voice was, and I thought this was probably a voice belonging to the “persistent” part of the character. And I was less sure about this, but I thought Yagi Yusei was playing into this as well by reacting to the voice by kind of melting/going all floppy in response to it (he’d been fairly swoony before that, but it definitely seemed to be going up a notch there).

Then @xnoel, perennial fountain of information, pointed me to this quote from an interview translation (highlighting added):

So yeah, this seems like confirmation! I mean, what else would Yagi be referring to when he talks about “Hira’s ‘dark’ side” than this authoritative husky whisper thing?

Then I got some really great comments which I’m going to share here with permission, in part because I asked if anyone could point me toward more information on the “persistent”/”cute” thing.

The ever-helpful @nieves-de-sugui​ said:

a little bit of translation notes for your analysis! Hira is saying, literally, "I can't hold back (anymore)" and it's a very tropey sentence to say in BL (and shoujo) right before getting it on.  It's also the main indicator of taking over/taking charge of the sexual encounter. There's a lot of one taking over and the other giving in. (I think there's a lot here about how Japanese people relate to sex and how it should be done).

(I said I’d run into this trope in Kdramas before as well.)

And then the kind and knowledgeable @bookittyboop​ pretty much took me to school on the whole persistent/cute dichotomy! They left comments in two clusters at different times so I’m putting a little dinkus (the line of asterisks or symbol that marks a transition between sections) in there to show where that was. Oh, and I took out some greetings/closings and stuff like that for flow purposes. Here we go:

The best source I can think of (because otherwise this is the kind of thing your get through osmosis once you've watched enough Japanese media) is @absolutebl's post [link added by me] on the whipping boy trope, though there is more to it. I would classify Hira as a whipping boy/attack dog/service top and Kiyoi as more of a kuudere than a tsundere as well as a spoiled prince/pampered princess.

Their characterization and dynamic (and derivatives) is a staple not only in bl but in Japanese media. You've got a male character (Hira) who is the unassuming or even the loser archetype but unearths or shows a "manly" and protective side in benefit of his loved ones (many times after his "cowardice" or "uselessness" has let them be hurt) and slowly makes something of himself.

Then you got a (normally female) character who is  a combination of cold and aloof (kuudere) or prickly and explosive (tsundere) but actually wants to be cherished and uses the gruff exterior as a way to protect herself from heartache/rejection.

The first archetype normally admires the second and wants to be at their service while the second sees the potential in them and the adoration makes them feel safe. In normal circumstances the first character has a submissive personality and the other a domineering one. The second character is also going to find emotional vulnerability extremely difficult to express. But in certain circumstances, there is a "mom friend hack" button.

* * *

When character 2 opens up/shows vulnerability, character 1 identifies a need in the other to be cared for and takes confidence from being  chosen to provide that. There's also gap moe (duality cuteness) and horny "I'm gonna worship you so good you will forget everything else,” "gotta get top marks at satisfying you," and "you're so cute I wanna eat you up" buttons.

The second character in turn feels attracted, safe and tethered by that show of confidence and let's themselves (their barriers) go more and more . Those energies feed into each other and that's how you get to our kiss scene. Sometimes(Kiyoi's case) they add coyness and shyness ("no, that's too much you beast") because God forbid the tsundere/kuudere lacks plausible deniability when they go back to their senses. (there's a "baby it's cold outside"element too)

This is where @absolutebl​ chimed in to say they thought @bookittyboop​ was doing “a GREAT job” with this explanation.

And I agreed, and thanked them for the time and effort involved in such a useful explanation, but asked about the “mom friend hack” because it was new to me. Here was their explanation:

The mom friend is the responsible, caring one, prepared for any eventuality. If you're a generally anxious person but also the mom friend, you've got a hack where you handily navigate  situations which would normally be embarrassing or anxiety-inducing if it's for your loved one's benefit.

For example:

-Buying condoms, pregnancy tests, emetics or other "embarrassing" stuff

-telling waitstaff they got an order wrong and to please change it

-asking a teacher to explain something again or revise an exam score

-giving a jerk a piece of your mind

Basically, you may not be able to stand for yourself or even make perfectly mundane, normal requests for your own sake, but the power of love lets you rationalize things, be brave, and do it for others.

I just realized I probably didn't clarify enough. Hira's thing is not exactly a "mom friend hack" but it's similar to it in the sense that "being needed" lets him overcome a mental block.

And they added, re: my theory about Kiyoi’s response to the Persistent Voice:

As for the kiss voice and Kiyoi's reaction, I too am convinced that was all on purpose. Bl drinks from yaoi manga, which has a treasure trove of visual cues and tropes. If there was a manga version, we'd probably have seen Hira suddenly get wolfy ears and shiny eyes + Kiyoi blushing like a maiden (maybe a fade to black with the dirtiest onomatopoeia known to man) to signal someone's getting railed within an inch of his life 😂. This is the real life equivalent.

So, yeah. Lots to think about here. I’m glad to know I seemed to be on the right track. It’s funny how there is so much material out there about some tropes and genre terms (googling seme and uke will get you more results than you know what to do with) while other tropes are harder to find anything about. (If only because of the vagaries of search terms, which might be a factor here.) If nothing else I’ll have this post to refer back to and I hope others will do the same if they find it at all useful.

Thanks again to @bookittyboop​ and @nieves-de-sugui​ for their thoughts! And to the illustrious @absolutebl​ for chiming in with praise (for @bookittyboop​) and confirmation.

postscript:

There are a couple of things I keep noticing about that kiss scene since this discussion that I wanted to point out. I guess the fact that, due to both of my reblogs, I had a gifset of the scene at the top of my profile for three days probably has something to do with it.

First, I hadn’t noticed how much Kiyoi really is slipping into a “cute” persona even before the Persistent Voice is used--just in response to Hira’s first kiss. His eyes get very soft and he does that affectionate head-bonk but the pièce de résistance, to my mind, is the rather childlike way he sticks out the end of his tongue. So, yeah. The first stage of cuteness comes before the Voice is even used.

Second, I hadn’t even reckoned with just how floppy Kiyoi gets after the Voice. He’s swaying around so much that Hira keeps having to grab him so he doesn’t just keel over. He’s gone almost boneless.

I guess it’s just really fascinating to me how this set of tropes can be so pervasive in one culture (or at least noteworthy chunks of it) and yet almost entirely novel to me. I mean, I was aware cultural differences existed, of course, but sometimes getting hit by the reality of them is still startling.

[renardtrickster]

My last post going over my thoughts on Hazbin Hotel ended at episode 4. 8 episodes later, in honor of the season ending and also Symmetry, the rest.

It's a lot longer, so I'm ditching the bullet points and putting it under a readmore.

My largest and foremost gripe with the series as a whole (and this extends to Helluva Boss as well) is that the female cast feels weirdly underdeveloped. They're not poorly written per se, Charlie is likeable and well-realized even if she's been mostly static (vanilla protagonist?), and Vaggie did get some interesting folds when her being a former angel was revealed (I didn't know this was a fan theory btw), but Niffty's been mostly a joke, and all the same they're blown out of the water compared to the amount of screentime and focus devoted to guys like Angel Dust, Alastor, Vox, and even Husk perhaps. The good thing is that this is one of those issues where you don't have to "go back" and fix anything, you just have to give them more of a spotlight in future episodes. Which I hope they do.

I think even Christians would agree that Lucifer was always the most interesting character in the Bible, and I was excited for the show's take on him. There are shades of "Lucifer as an embodiment of freedom in contrast to God's order" which is a pretty standard read on his character, but the big thing they seemed to stress was his characteristics as a dreamer and an artist, which is pretty fresh. So introducing him stuck in a creative rut and essentially poo-pooing Charlie's dreams for the hotel is a good indicator that something's deeply wrong. It turns out that Hell is a pretty hopeless environment to be in, and his disinterest in the Hotel or helping Charlie make it succeed was because he's now riding the philosophy of "if you never chase your dreams you never get hurt when they fail", which is just depressing to hear. I have thoughts on the show's depiction and philosophy on Hell, but I'll group it with my thoughts on Heaven two paragraphs from now. Also his design fucks, I like the snake-apple-crown around his top hat, I didn't even notice his torso is meant to look like an apple core until someone else pointed it out, we stan a short king, etc. etc.

I found Heaven to be pretty interesting. I was expecting most of the angels to look more or less the same as each other, but the variety in display (some are furries, some are dudes, some are polygonal creatures) was more interesting, in addition to making me think "wow the fact that they draw from the same design pool in hell is interesting", to which my main man @arcane-nrok posited that it's because the people in Heaven and Hell are not fundamentally different from each other, where they end up depends solely on their environment and upbringing. Then Adam said nobody drinks because "there are no hard days in Heaven" and we both began pogging out of our minds.

The biggest bombshell when it comes to discussing Heaven or Hell is that despite our antagonists literally being the forces of Heaven, God has never been mentioned even once. Because of this, I have to disagree with the people claiming that Hazbin Hotel is some screed against Christianity (even though as an anti-theist, I wouldn't object if it were), and I definitely don't think it's a "fuck you mom" immature one either. It reads to me as more of a rebuttal and criticism of Christians and Christian morality than the actual religion itself. I mentioned the implications of class inequality before, that Adam more or less implies that if you have an easy life, you'll more easily find Heaven, and that if you have a harder life, you'll more easily find Hell. And while I know a lot of Christians were offended by the fact that the Angels don't seem to like the sinners and also don't seem to give much of a shit about the concept of redemption either, this reading makes sense if you imagine them not as Angels but as humans, interpreting doctrine in whatever way benefits them at the expense of others. Allegorically, Adam is the "christian who has never read the bible" who flaunts basically every rule but is de facto understood to be a "good christian" and so his behavior gets a pass as he and everyone else focuses on the shortcomings of everyone else, Lute is so ideologically locked into eating from her trash can that she's essentially been turned into a weapon focused on denouncing and punishing the unworthy, Sera is empathetic and aware of the internal incoherency and cruelties of the system he upholds but is locked into it to such an extent that she has to justify, compartmentalize, or ignore those glaring issues, and Emily is the same, except young enough that the indoctrination isn't as strong, and without the "tenure" such that she's most likely at risk to be excommunicated for her concerns. And on Hell, the great philosophical evil present over anything else is that while there may be some truly despicable people in there, the possibility of redemption must remain, to such an extent that it's positioned as an almost universal right and that the denial of it is an almost cosmic injustice (which in terms of theology and critical reading of the bible is almost as old as, the bible). Not only is the denial of redemption a tool used by the Angels to justify the existence of the system as it is (the argument of "they had their chance to get into heaven, it's too late now" is said by Adam at least twice and by at least five different sinners), but the sheer bleakness of it was enough to temporarily drain all the joy and hope from creation's first artist and dreamer. In short, the nightmare that Hazbin Hotel conjures isn't that God is cruel or unjust, but that he's been dethroned by his most fundamentalist followers.

Also Vaggie got kicked out of Heaven for refusing to kill a child, so I actually I take it back this show is extremely biblically accurate.

To suddenly jerk away from theology, philosophy, and societal critique and back to "here's my cartoon criticism", the pacing. I still maintain that if you blame anybody but the jokers who gave them eight episodes to work with, I'm going to fuck your wife, but I feel like it's been as much of a good thing as a bad thing??? The good news is that the plot is advancing constantly (as opposed to Helluva Boss which can feel dawdling and aimless), and the brisk pace means we don't have to "dwell" on things that make me groan when other shows dwell on them. Sir Pentious' introduction to the hotel, for example, could have devoted more time to the "Angel Dust feels that Pentious is a sussy amongus and also maybe a bit inadequate because the snake is an immediately better guest than him" element, or could have had Sir Pentious run away after getting caught, the attempt at redemption being a fib until he comes back a second time and stays for real. But they didn't in either case, and I feel like the episode was better for it (I was pleasantly shocked when he signed on for real). The bad news is, there's no room to breathe, meaning that everything necessarily must reach the high stakes being set by the rest of the plot, and we can't devote more time to the quieter, slower moments without making them take up the episode (as in episode 4, not that I thought that sequence was bad). Episode 7 is the embodiment of this dual nature, I think. Charlie felt hurt by Vaggie keeping secret the fact that she used to be an Exterminator, and while she felt hurt (as she should, her feelings are valid), she did ultimately resolve them after a frank talk and an exploration of what she's really feeling. Seeing that is refreshing after seeing Every Other Show turn this "plot" into a season-length dramafest, but Charlie essentially resolved this on her own with the help of Rosie, and by the time she meets up with Vaggie they've both essentially buried the hatchet without even the implication they talked to each other about it. "Deeds not words" was the big clincher for Charlie forgiving her, but I'm not alone in thinking this is some sort of mis-step, right? My hope with season 2, along with getting more episodes, please, is that they get more room to breath, but also don't "slog". A tough needle to thread, but a doable one I believe.

"Too much red." - Adam Firstman

Season 2 is a killer for a fair number of shows that end season 1 with a bang. They can enter "the sophomore slump" as they try to find their footing exploring new ground while also not fully divorcing themselves from the identity they built up in season 1. But I feel like they set up quite a number of threads to follow up on. The Angels have been defeated (RIP Adam, he sucked but he was fun to watch), Lute is still thirsty for revenge, and apparently they not only have Lilith, but they're going to deploy her soon. Pentious officially got into heaven, which will undoubtedly cause a shitstorm as redemption is proven officially possible, the Seraphim are the first to meet him, as well as "I wanna see how this goober acts in heaven". The hotel is rebuilt, and is now "on the map" seeing as how everyone knows Charlie stopped the extermination. Alastor has an ace up his sleeve with Charlie's deal, and his motives are still largely enigmatic. Vox and his cronies are emboldened and plan to make a push. There's at least three powderkegs present, with several irons in the fire nearby, which should be plenty of material to follow up with or deliver on.

My final hope is that, as I said in the last post, Hazbin Hotel feels like an improvement upon Helluva Boss's shortcomings. There's still shared issues, like the aforementioned Feminism Loss, but it knows and follows on its own premise (whereas the IMPs haven't been doing much assassinating), swears casually but only purposefully overuses it for obnoxious characters like Vox or Adam or when someone is emotionally compromised (meanwhile half of Blitzo's dialogue can bleed into a white noise of fuck words), keeps up the tension and advances the plot (as opposed to the aforementioned dawdling and aimlessness), etc. So in the same vein as my hopes that Season 2 of Hazbin Hotel follows up on its strong points while working on its weaker points, I hope Season 3 of Helluva Boss similarly learns and improves from its sister series.

[thequietkid-moonie]

With a S/O without strength but a really good fighter

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Tanjiro, Zenitsu, Inosuke ]

[ Demon Slayer / Kimetsu no Yaiba ]

× This is inspired in Bojji (from Ousama Ranking)

This idea lives free rent in my head. Seriously, I love so much Bojji (platonically)

This has been in my drafts for a loooong time so i decided to FINALLY post it, however im not sure if I will really write for Demon Slayer I just really love those three

Tanjiro Kamado

Tanjiro is a caring person by nature, it isn't strange for him to help people in need, and you're not going to be an exception, every time he sees you he offers you help without fail (unless you don't want help)

Tanjiro is really friendly too, so it won't take long for you two to became friends and soon a couple too, and Tanjiro promise to you from the bottom of his heart to be stronge for both of you

He notice your weakness right away, but doesn't say anything about it, he's very respectful and don't want to be invasive or rude, still he is pretty curious about it

After hearing your story of how someone stole your strength when you were born and how you had to live all your life like this he feel simpathy and he may even try to comfort you, reassuring you that you're really brave and strong for all you had been through, your weakness doesn't make you less valuable

He also notice that you always carry a sword (even if you aren't a demon slayer), after a while he will ask you about it and when you tell him that is for fight he gets really surprise! What? How? Why? Have you seen yourself in the need to fight? Have you been threatened? He gets worried about you, if is the case that you're a demon slayer too that make him even more worried, but he's not gonna stop you

Tanjiro grow quite protective over you, he's already a protective person but you being this weak makes him feel a little uneasy (no like he's trying to underestimate you), even Nezuko gets protective over you (she loves you too)

If you're a demon slayer he will try to always go with you and be as close as he can, most of the time he does it unconsciously. But the moment he have the opportunity to see you fight he's mesmerize, it took you just a moment to win against your opponent

He will compliment you about your skills, he gets really excited about it and Nezuko too is amazed by it! and will start asking you a lot of things! although Tanjiro will probably apologize for how he acted before

The idea of you being so skill and stronge flustered him, but he's still protective (it's just his nature)

Zenitsu Agatsuma

When both of you met was because Zenitsu was beging you to marry him, saying that he doesn't know how longer he will live and that you are really beautiful. He practically cling onto you and obviously was stronger than you, so he doesn't leave you more option than defend you (but don't really hurting him). When he fall you took the opportunity to run away, leaving Zenitsu confused

After that Zenitsu insist with a different approach, following around, giving you a lot of cumpliments, giving you little gifts (mostly flowers) and offering you his help whenever he can, and after a while you ended accepting his proposal

He notice the sword you carry around, that makes him think that you're strong and that you can protect him, but when he finally sees carefuly the sword he feels kinda betrayed since that sword was really thiny. He doesn't really notice how weak you are at first, too distracted by his lovestruck, but with time he will start to notice how you strugle carry even light things, he feels betrayed again but at the same time he will finds this rather cute, just other cute quirk of yours

He ended asking you about it without really thinking (but after he realice it he apologize), thats when you tell him about how someone stole your strength, and after hearing your story Zenitsu get furious (not to you though) and start rambling about how is posible that someone would do something so cruel towards someone so beautiful anyone, and he ended promising you to became stronger to be able to protect you

If you're a demon slayer he will ask you if you're crazy and panic (again, without thinking, but he will apologize later), he gets super worried about you and try to stick by your side in the missions, but he always ends up cowering

The moment he finally had the oportunity to see you fight he just stares at you for a moment, all happen so fast, even if Zenitsu didn't fully understand what just happen he was already clinging onto you complimenting your skills and beggin you to protect him

To be honest this just makes him fall even more in love with you, he truly think you are the most amazing person he ever meet (and won't hesitant to tell you so)

After that day, even if he's trying to become stronger, every time he's scare or in trouble he run to your side and even hide behind you

Inosuke Hashibira

You met him while Inosuke was fighting with someone, somehow you ended up involve in his fight so you didn't have other option than defend yourself, in a blink of eye them were in the floor and you took the opportunity to go away

Inosuke was surprised, he didn't understand what just happened, so he decided to follow you demanding an explanation, thats how both of you get stuck together

Inosuke doesn't really notice your weakness and ended up helping you without even noticing, in his mind he was just showing off that he's stronger than you by snatching things from you and carrying them himself while laughing at you

He notice your sword too and ask you about it almost right away (more because you never seems to used), when you tell him that is for defend yourself/fight from then he will pester you about fighting him (even after you two already fought)

It took him a long time but at the end he will notice how weak you are, Inosuke gets super confused since he already had saw you fight, in his mind just don't make sense how someone so weak can be a good fighter

Inosuke has not shame and doesn't really think before speak/act so he will ask you right away, if you decide to tell him or not your story it doesn't matter becouse he won't fully understand neither believed it. It took him a while but at the end he made peace with the idea

He is really proud of his strenght and loves to show off, so for sure he will tease the hell of you for your weakness, he even wil carry you around whenever he can, but at the end he always help you

He gets protective over you, nobody can mess with you except for him, Inosuke can get pretty agressive if someone is bothering you. But at the same time he always laugh at those who underestimated you, saying that even if you seems weak you can beat everyone ass if you want (he's very proud of you)

If you're a demon slayer he won't worry to much, he trust you and your fighting skills, but wil go with you whenever he can (mostly to make it a competition)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

(sorry, english my second language) my theory for one of the reasons why trey is perceived differently in the west as being less appealing or not so attractive compared to the likes of malleus is simply cause he wears glasses

something i observed in mainstream western media in particular is that, wearing glasses is perceived as unattractive/unappealing or too nerdy or not sexy (we all know it’s not true don’t get me wrong) compared to jp media where glasses can be seen as hot

i think azul also falls for this, cause there’s so many azul simps in jp but he still gets to appeals more in the west compared to trey cause of the mafia aesthetic he got going on also tumblr sexyman vibes

[Referencing this post!]

I mean... while I do think the stereotype of "only unattractive geeks wear glasses" does appear in many western productions (especially those set in high schools), I feel like that sentiment no longer has the same prominence. This is due in part to changing trends (the west has adopted a lot of interest in Asian media/art as of late, part of which does often employ glasses as fashion pieces, such as in the case of K-pop) and new technology (more technology use/reliance means more and more of the general population need vision correction, so glasses and contacts are becoming increasingly common).

On the flip side, it's not as though glasses aren't associated with being "nerdy" in eastern cultures. After all, there is an entire anime/manga trope called the megane (literally "glasses") character, which often refers to an smart, rational, and stoic individual. They are also typically the “brains” or the voice of reason in a cast of characters. So… glasses are also definitely associated with “being smart” in the east; this even comes through in some character dialogue. In Trey’s Halloween vignettes, for example, Azul states that he explicitly chose to wear glasses for vision correction because others are more likely to perceive glasses-wearers as being intellectual.

I also feel like it goes both ways in terms of perceiving glasses as hot or not?? I personally have not noticed a huge gap between the east/west in terms of attraction in regards to one wearable item?? I feel like it just depends on individual tastes (because some people are just into the “nerdy” look), of maybe there isn’t that much of a “choice” irl anymore since more and more people need corrective lenses anyway.

Ultimately, I don’t think it’s the glasses that matter, but the person behind the glasses does. Like… if you slapped a pair of glasses on Malleus, does that automatically not make him attractive anymore? If you took away Trey and Azul’s glasses, would that automatically make them 10x hotter than they looked with them? (There is plenty of fan art which depicts these scenarios; there’s a reason why people make them despite loving the originals.)

If such a difference does exist solely because of glasses, I’d imagine the effect is negligible, not so significant that it explains the large gap in popularity between Trey and Malleus. (Azul was mentioned as an example of a glasses character who became popular in the west despite the glasses because of his appeal as a mob boss, but it feels like this case just shows that it’s the character himself and not the glasses that make fans love him.) There are much bigger factors at play (between the being a normal human/an actual dragon fairy prince, the design appeals, less screen time/being the Final Boss and important figure in the main story, and a lowkey personality/lots of hype and a strong presence) for this observed Trey-Malleus disparity. Malleus is just a more “exciting” character when compared to Trey, and that catches the attention of the more individualistic, often action-oriented culture of the west.

[kmenkea]

Bloodlust - Part 3

Summary: A bunch of hectic days are ahead of the party, but even through the fight, they manage to bond. Astarion finds himself worried when his favourite travelling companion falls in battle.

A/N: I think the only thing I have to say, is that this fanfic is moving very slow, as I'm taking my time to write and expand on the relationship, rather than just rush to the cool heart-warming romance part (and the ehhh, less wholesome parts which are coming with part 4 (which is already written btw, I'm just lazy and keep playing the game instead of posting)). Well, tell me if I should speed things up, or if it's fine to keep it slow and write for a lot longer.

Read on AO3

Word count: 4.4k

This sketch is very rough, but I liked the expressions on their faces

As always, mild spoilers for act 1

The two days that followed were, to put it lightly, an absolute turn off. First, they ran into a small barn house where two lovebirds were having a moment and didn’t take the intrusion lightly. The jokes around the fire that night were way too raunchy and disgusting for either Leeith or Astarion to hide away together, without thinking of what they had seen and be weirded out. It was fun though. For the first night, they actually all drank and got together around the fire like friends. Before, everyone would just quietly sit alone, maybe one or two people would have a conversation together, but most were stiff and distant from each other.

The next day, they went back to that path, dead hyenas littered the cobblestone street. One of them was panting and howling, clearly in pain. Leeith moved closer, hoping to help it, or at least end the pain, but the animal exploded in her face: a gnoll was birthed right in front of her. And the underdark was the horrifying place? No one had ever told her about gnoll reproduction, because even down there few things were worse.

Even if a bit beaten up, they managed to kill the two metres tall babies that were born in front of them. They made camp on a nearby hill, recounting all the grossest and most gruesome details of every creature they knew. Once night fell, Leeith remained alone in front of the fire, observing it fly and twirl. A bottle of wine was by her side, but she only took small sips. She didn't know what it was, but her mood had turned more sour than the contents of that bottle. Going back in her mind through these days, she realised the great weight she was carrying over her shoulders, how insignificant she truly was. Part of her wanted to just let go, be turned into an octopus and lose herself forever. She wasn't scared of death and ceremorphosis didn't sound far from it. But just… she couldn't just let go of life now. The people she was travelling with would have been fine without her, they were capable enough and she didn't care what they did of their lives if it didn't influence her own; her goddess, that was the only reason she had to life, she couldn't squander it after she had given it back to her. 

A cold hand touched her shoulder, making her jump. She never noticed just how silent the vampire's steps were. He sat down, throwing his arm around the drow. She didn't welcome him, but she was glad to have been pulled away from her thoughts.

"Shall we depart, my sweet? I want to enjoy this night." He kissed her jaw and gently bit her skin. She didn't respond, just shrugging her shoulders. The offer was tempting, but… the melancholy had taken a strong grip on her heart.

"Maybe another day, if it's all the same to you." She drank a sip of wine, then offered the bottle to her courter. "I'm drier than this wine right now." She chuckled. Astarion scoffed and tried the wine. He made a disgusted face while reading the tag. 

"Are you the one changing your mind? Mhph, here I thought I would get to taste you tonight." There was something in his voice, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Some kind of anxiousness. She had just rejected him or maybe he was just annoyed by going hungry another day. 

"You can still drink me if you want." She offered her wrist. "Sorry for not giving you blood yesterday, I was too tired." She grabbed the bottle back from his hands, taking one long swig. 

"A tempting offer, darling, but I'm afraid that vinegar spoiled your blood." His arm fell from her shoulders. Leeith felt bad for him: under the arrogant and indifferent masque, there was a whole lot of annoyance. And she couldn’t have him annoyed and resentful towards her.

"Mhh, come on darling, let me make it up with you. I'll get something better to drink so we can get shitfaced and my blood will taste sweet again, then you have your fill of me." She bit her lip, placing a hand on his chest and leaning towards him a bit. Even if it wasn't what he wanted, the offer of blood was just too tempting to pass: she could see it in the way his eyes glanced at her wrist and his fingers wanted to wrap themselves around it. He was still a slave to his sanguine hunger.

Astarion agreed at the end. As the night progressed, the drow got drunker and drunker, her smile growing wider and wider, while the liquor did its magic. Even the vampire senses were getting duller, his quips and remarks less on point, though he was drinking a lot less. Somehow, they were enjoying each other's presence and having fun as friends would. They didn't finish the bottle before the drow, gulping her last sip, put it aside. 

"I- think I'll- stooop." She mumbled, laying down on her bedroll and looked at Astarion with a smile. "Come get your priiiize!" She hummed happily, exposing her neck. 

The vampire didn't need to be asked twice. Gently, he cradled her head, keeping it on one side. Leeith shivered, feeling his body, made warm by the fire, come down on her. Somewhat she regretted rejecting his advances, but even in that state, she knew she was too drunk to go back on the decision. The bite arrived, icy as always, and she tried to let herself go, but a certain sadness returned. Hers, his, it was hard to tell.

Anxiety mixed with drunkenness and a sprinkle of remorse was all they offered to each other. Astarion was waiting to breach her mind, but the connection never came. Did he do something wrong? Did he upset her in any way? Were his techniques not working anymore? That couldn't be: she did still offer her blood. Part of him was glad he didn’t have to act, he didn’t have to use himself to get what he needed. But what would he do once she’d get bored of him? He knew perfectly well Leeith wasn’t the kind to do things without a prize coming her way. It was better to forget for now, just focus on her blood, burning his throat with alcohol. 

The elf left her neck, licking his lips to catch any runaway droplet. Leeith's head was spinning like a cartwheel, between the wine and the bloodloss. She didn’t even try to sit back up or clean her wound, preferring to just pull up her blanket.

“Already tired, darling? I hope you’ll be able to keep up with me tomorrow.” He got up, adjusting the collar of his shirt.

“I’ll make you- regret theshe wordsh. I’ll- suck you dry.” She slurred, twisting her body in a more comfortable position. “Good ng- nee- night, Assstarion. Ass-tarion, hehe.” Her mind left the material plane for that of memories before he could respond.

The next day, after guzzling down a weird concoction against hangovers, they continued on to a tollhouse on the bridge. There, some paladins of Tyr were looking for the same devil Leeith's group was searching. They had taken residence in that building: it was pretty large, with a main room full of barrels and crates and a desk at the centre piece, it communicated with a smaller upper floor thanks to two ladders. Another room was on the side, which served as kitchen and sleeping quarters. It also had a basement, but they chose to save the plunder for later. The drow offered her help to the paladins: it was better to stick together in case the wanted woman proved dangerous.

When they did find her, she looked pretty badly put, hiding away at the edge of a river and… on fire? How was she not dead or screaming her lungs out? What kind of devil was she? Leeith, Shadowheart and Lae’zel moved closer, while the rogue remained behind, crossbow already in hand. The devil saw them arrive and… smiled. Her hand never got close to her axe nor her words showed hostility. The drow heard her story and at the end, decided to invite Karlach in. 

According to the tiefling’s words, they were going to need all their firepower to beat these imposter paladins. 

“Alright we’ll do it this way: Karlach you’ll come with us. Shadowheart and Lae’zel, you go back to camp and tell the wizard to come here. I want to test if his magic is powerful enough - and I hope it is because these guys don’t seem to joke around. Don’t mention anything about this to Wyll. You will keep an eye on him and stop him if he tries to come here, understood?” 

"Aye aye, captain." Scoffed Shadowheart. 

In silence, the two went away. The tension between them was palpable as always, but they seemed to understand how to keep their animosity in check for the greater good. 

The trio waited for the arrival of the wizard, chatting with their new companion, asking her about wars and the hells, which she was pretty happy to recount. Her jovial attitude did put a smile on Leeith's face, along with her need for violence. She did care a bit too much about the wellness of others, so the drow wasn't sure how well she'd mix with her way of things. 

Her line of thought was broken by a voice. "Hello there." It said. 

"Good, you arrived." She said upon seeing the wizard. "Gale this is Karlach, Karlach he's Gale, our mage, finally out on adventure." She added ironically at last. Gale was a bit confused upon seeing the tiefling, but still smiled.

"A pleasure to meet you." He greeted her warmly, extending a hand. 

"Might be better I don't touch that, soldier." She beat her chest and more flames came out of her skin.

"Ah. I know something about dangerous things inside your chest." He laughed. Leeith rolled her eyes: the guy was really a money sink and dared get angry at her when she probed his mind for more information, as if she was just going to have a random guy eat her stuff and, worse of all, insult her and her patron's magical abilities. 

"Far from me to interrupt you, but can we stop with pleasantries and go do our job? We're not exactly hidden away." The drow stood up, waiting for her companions to follow her. Gale sighed and mumbled something about patience. Her head was throbbing too much to pick up a fight with him now.

"I do so want to sink my teeth into a paladin. I wonder what holy blood tastes like." Commented the vampire in a dreamy voice, walking away.

“They’re not paladins, they’re imposters.” Corrected Karlach, fidgeting with her greataxe. 

“Ahh, but can’t you just let a man dream-” The elf was interrupted by a swing getting way too close to his nose “Sweet hells! Can you put that damned thing down! I’m right here!” He screamed, jumping a few steps back like a startled cat. Karlach looked mortified, but still jolly, as she hid the weapon behind her back. 

After a few chuckles and jokes at the expense of the vampire, they returned to the tollhouse. Leeith ordered everyone to stop talking and put up their most serious faces. She was going to at least try and talk their way out of this situation, hopefully the paladins weren't the liars the tiefling said they were. And if things turned sour… she motioned to Astarion to go towards the back of the building, strike from the shadows if combat started. 

The rest went past the slaughter corpses of gnolls left on the bridge and towards the main door, which was open. But something was off.

The closer she got, the more a sense of impending doom spread in her mind. The tadpole squirmed inside her brain: it felt like an arrow had gone through her eye. She scratched it, praying to Lolth this wasn't the start of her transformation. Not now, after so long. 

But the pain wasn't physical, it was more like a heavy curtain falling on her shoulders, smothering her. She proceeded forward, showing no signs of her discomfort to her companions.

A flash struck her mind: she saw Karlach dead on the ground, Gale limping away and herself laying face down on the floor, in a pool of her own blood. What was that? 

She glanced over to the people behind her, but they seemed relaxed. The vision, it felt… like a déjà vu. Was that premonition or just anxiety? She couldn't stop now, they were basically in front of the door, just one more step and she would have locked eyes with the man.

Another flash made her whimper in pain: no, the man wasn't a paladin. He was going to use that sword against them in an effort to kill Karlach. 

"What's the meaning of this? Why is the devil with you?" Shouted the man from behind his desk, hurrying to stand up. What should she do?

Karlach walked past her, starting to say something to explain herself. The drow's head throbbed again. Maybe it was just the alcohol, still inebriating her mind. But…

"Dolor!" She shouted, as the warlock aimed for that traitor's head. Tingling rose on her shoulder, flowing down her arm like a growing wave of spiders; realising the blast made her arm recoil backwards, but the man was still hit on the chest by a bolt of force, making him gasp for air.

"You fucking worms. Zariel will have your head!" The man unsheathed his greatsword and jumped over the desk. Karlach was already drawing her weapon and, in a burst of flames, she lowered it on the paladin's shoulder, leaving a dent in his armour. 

"I thought we were going to speak with them!" Cried Gale, as a spell was forming around his hands. He glanced around, still confused. Another enemy was in the room, an halfling who seemed about ready to shoot Karlach. A ray of lighting left his fingertips, shocking the archer. A painful scream arose from the other room

Leeiths head cleared up, the foreboding sensation finally gone. She scanned the area, her lips ready to cast another spell: Gale could take the halfling archer alone, the real problem was the paladin. She pointed her index at the man and a curse mark appeared over his cheek, then she blasted him again. He glared at her, but couldn’t move past the mountain of infernal muscle that was the tiefling. He attacked her, a sweep so swift that it could have cut a person in half, if the barbarian hadn’t stepped aside; a large gaping wound still tore her abdomen, spitting fire and blood, but she just seemed reinvigorated by the pain. An arrow went just past Gale, who retaliated with another lighting shock. 

Both the tiefling and drow continued their assault on the fake paladin, but his battle senses were in full operation and the attacks didn’t hurt him as much as they should have. He swung at Karlach again - his strikes empowered by an enchantment - this time wounding her arm pretty badly, almost making her lose her weapon. The halfling used a spell against the wizard and this time the arrow struck true, forcing the mage to drop his spell and glance at the pool of blood quickly soaking his robe. Even if in pain and on his last legs, he called upon more of his magic, and the halfling too was left within an inch of her life, but not quite dead. 

Something felt off again to Leeith, watching Karlach fight in the first lines alone. She still tried to hit the paladin, but her mind was too preoccupied with thinking and missed her target. The tiefling hit him with all her might, sending him against his desk coughing blood. Maybe it was going to be fine.

Another scream ruptured her eardrums, this time coming from Gale, who fell down on the ground, unconscious. The halfling focused on Leeith, smirking and marking her for dead next. Before she could react, pain exploded on her hip, as she found an arrow sticking out of her abdomen. WIth anger bubbling inside her, she limped away from the desk to get a clearer shot. She launched her finger forward, calling on her patron’s shared energy. A second later, the lifeless body of the halfling hit the wall, as blood poured out from her mouth and eyes, the blast having crushed her internal organs to a pulp. The paladin shoved Karlach aside and ran to the drow, greatsword raised high past his head. With a burst of adrenaline and panic, she managed to get away, but slipped on someone’s blood, falling to the ground. Karlach was right behind the paladin, using the handle of her greataxe to choke him and pull him away from the helpless drow. He pushed her against the desk, but she wouldn’t let go of her grasp. 

Leeith crawled away from the two wrestling mountains, her hand shuffling through her pockets for a potion. A flash of magic caught her eyes: from the door to one side a wounded and bloodied woman appeared. The magic missiles she casted kicked out whatever vitality she had left, and her vision darkened. In the last moments of consciousness, she looked around for Shadowheart, but she was nowhere to be seen. A male voice screamed.

“No, you can’t die. Get up, damn you.” Astarion arrived in the other room, just as Leeith fell. The woman he had fought against all this time turned around, ready to hit him too, but the elf parried the blow and slipped away from her, running towards the drow. 

The paladin was still alive. He knew the tactic well, what Leeith had ordered everyone to do in every fight: Lae’zel and Shadowheart would go in front, protected by their armour, while the drow and himself would stand behind, picking off enemies from a distance. If anyone fell, “Let them kiss the ground and focus on killing; they can lick their wounds after the battle is over.” But the two women were nowhere to be seen and the situation was dire. 

His intestines twisted and tugged at the sight of the drow struggling for her life. He felt like he couldn’t just let her go. No, she was too important, he needed her to protect him. He needed her blood and flavour. And something else he couldn’t quite put his fingers upon, something that reminded him of yesterday’s evening, as they drank and chatted; that reminded him of all the little pleasantries she’d do for him, having his back both in fights and in conversation, the things she would give just to him, like that potion. 

He reached in his pockets for the bottle, removing the cork with his teeth and emptying the contents in her mouth. The human woman used this as an opportunity to attack him but, quick as a cat, he rolled away from the fire bolt, just as Leeith's eyes shot open and she gasped for air.  

He reached for his crossbow and the bolt plunged itself under the enemy's chin, right where two bite marks still bled. Her hands reached up at her throat. She tried to scream but only some gurgly noises came from her mouth, then her eyes rolled up and she fell. 

Astarion pointed his weapon at the paladin, who was still in a lock with Karlach. They both looked pretty rough, but the tiefling had the upper hand. Seeing the elf ready to strike, she kicked the man away from her. The rogue shot a bolt which hit his thigh. The paladin fell to his knees: Karlach swung her axe one last time, beheading the traitor. 

The bloodbath was over. They had only an instant to rest, before rushing to the mage: he was still alive, but he needed help. The drow could only dull his pain with a healing potion, but at least he was out of death’s door.

Karlach was enraged, panting heavily and clenching every muscle in her body, as if she was fighting against herself. She cursed at Zariel, growling like a bear.

“Burn their corpses, tear this whole place down.” Coughed Leeith, dragging Gale’s body outside. The barbarian roared and, in a burst of flames, split the desk in half. She swung her axe at every object in the room, setting the wooden floor on fire wherever she stepped.

Astarion and Leeith watched from a careful distance, both sitting down. The rogue barely had any scratch marks on his pretty, delicate face. 

“I thought you weren’t going to need potions, darling.” Teased the vampire. The drow glared at him, as she checked the arrow sticking out of her abdomen: only part of the tip had managed to penetrate her skin but it still hurt like hell.

“Shut up, blood sucker- Nngh- Fuck!” She bit down on her glove and pulled out the arrow. Her scream was muffled, but tears formed in her eyes. After taking a few breaths, she untied the lower part of her gambeson, to check on the new soon-to-be scar she had acquired. Her shirt was all red and it hurt to lift up from the wound since it was stuck in it. Blood was pouring pretty copiously, but not enough to worry, and the wound looked clean, with the edges already starting to heal thanks to the potion. 

An elegant porcelain finger caressed her hip, turning scarlet as blood pooled on the little crevices and wrinkles of the skin. As quick as it came, it disappeared, and Astarion ran his tongue over his hand, slowly and weirdly sensually. Leeith didn’t speak, but her expression still warranted an answer. 

“It’s free blood, my sweet. Why should I let it go to waste? The pain makes its flavour even richer.” The vampire lips were very red with leftover blood; he licked them clean. 

“You’re a gluttonous one. I fed you yesterday!” The drow uncorked another small vial and put it at Gale’s lips, slowly pouring the liquid down his throat. The mage coughed as he regained consciousness. 

“Very much so, dear. I even fed on that woman who so gently killed you, but human blood is not even half as delectable as yours.” His voice was as soft as honey when he talked, flowing gently from his lips to her ear. He placed his hand on her sane hip, leaning closer. 

“Cloud  I- cough - not wake up to- you two flirting.” The mage’s voice was strained and low as he tried sitting up. 

"Think you should thank your lucky stars that you woke up at all." Said Leeith, gently pushing Astarion away. 

"How- fortunate." He breathed heavily, trying to steady his voice. "What happened to- speaking with the men? Surprise attacks should be a- gods- a surprise for them, not us." 

"I got a bad feeling about it. A flash of our dead corpses if you will… more dead than now." The drow stood up, looking inside the building for the tiefling. She was sitting in a corner, panting. She seemed to have calmed down. 

"Gods, another one of your flashes? Like with the bear?" Said the vampire with a mocking tone. 

"Are you going to bring out the bear thing every time I remember I have to do something?" She said, turning around towards them.

"Absolutely yes. I love to twist the knife in the wound." He grinned reassuringly. 

 "That's what makes you truly charming, blood sucker." Said the drow, earning a hum of approval from Astarion. 

"Thank you, darling. You're allowed to compliment me more." 

"Sorry to- interrupt again, but you and I both still need medical assistance. Or are you going to stay- here to…" He waved his hands up in the air and a few sparkles and coloured smog came out. "Do your magic?" 

"Huff, I suppose it's true. Though I would have been fine if someone didn’t kiss the ground first and break formation." The drow turned to the building again, and called out Karlach. 

Once all together again, they decided to rest for a bit more, since Gale couldn’t walk nor anyone carry him. More resentment started to build up in Leeith, watching the wizard very slowly regain his ability to move, after popping another potion. If Shadowheart had been there, they would have already been patched up and ready to go, rather than lose precious time looking at the corpses rot. 

The drow couldn't bear staying idle for more than fifteen minutes. She explored the premises alone, while the other three had fun and laughed, but didn’t find more than old food and some lockpicks. Her companions probably noticed how her brow furrowed and jaw clenched, while she looted the paladin’s corpse. It’s not that she wanted them to stop having fun while she ransacked the place, but she did feel a little better for receiving help. After entrusting the enchanted greatsword to Karlach, they went to the basement to loot some more. They unfortunately didn't find anything more than traps and some silver cutlery. She had a hunch there must have been some kind of sliding wall or invisible keyhole, but had no idea how to access it. Shadowheart had way keener eyes than the wizard: if she had been there, they would have been able to find the secret room. 

The return to camp was just as frustrating: Wyll jumped right to Karlach's throat and had to be peeled off by Lae'zel. Leeith was at the last rope, but fortunately the barbarian was pretty understanding of the situation and managed to come to an agreement with her pursuer. 

Only then was she able to be seen by the cleric, who very easily closed her wound. The drow blew off some steam, complaining to Shadowheart how bad Gale was and how much more she preferred her around. She cautiously accepted the compliments, then went to tend to the wizard. 

Leeith left camp to find a river, bringing along just some soap and a large linen cloth. A few minutes later she laid in the frigid water of a lake, all sounds muffled by the water in her ears. Her heart beat slowed down and her body went numb from the cold. The sun had started its descending parabole, the sky wasn't pink yet; there was still much time before evening, but she just needed to relax for today. 

And relax she will for once. Something caught her eye, a flash of white and red. With everything going so badly today, she had almost forgotten about Astarion's promise.

[asgardian--angels]

I love your blog title. I love that when DJenks made his announcement this month, I went into the tags all morose and accepting defeat, and I saw you there still ready to fight, not giving up, ready for a marathon. Truly, that means SO much to me. A little bit of hope is a powerful thing to have, and we need people who are determined to keep that flame burning bright. So happy to have you in this fandom. You really do make a difference. 💕

Aw, thank you! I really appreciate it. And yeah, I'd almost forgotten about my blog title, which I've had for over a decade, and how hope really does embody me and everything I do.

The streaming landscape is in upheaval, things are changing by the week - even since our turbo-cancellation was announced, two other shows (cancelled for much longer) were saved. Like others have been saying, we were all mentally prepared for a marathon and realistically I don't think anyone can just call everything off after just two months when so many shows have to fight for years before getting a movie deal. I respect David - he told us that news so that we'd know that there's nothing more we can accomplish right now by shouting at streamers, and that we did make a difference. There WERE interested parties, we proved we were lucrative. But that does not mean the fight is over, it just means we need to change tactics and pivot to keeping the fandom active and vocal in the long-term, and bide our time until shifts in the industry open new doors for revisiting OFMD (like David Zaslav leaving, or Max going under, or another merger). That might be six months, or it might be six years. What I am certain of is that there's so much love and passion for this show from the cast and crew that everyone would be down to get the gang back together for a season 3 years down the road.

Basically, I have no doubts the fandom will persist - this fandom is composed of very enthusiastic and artistically talented people who have an unending well of inspiration to draw from. What I do think needs to be done though, that I'm seeing wane a bit on Twitter, is to ensure we direct that noise; most people have stopped using OFMD hashtags, which means our posts won't get noticed. Something that has been great is just how vehemently the fandom has gone after Max on pretty much every single promotional post they've made in the past few weeks - check any of them out, and you'll see 95-100% of the comments are OFMD fans using #DontStreamonMax and #FireDavidZaslav , plus the great new tagline 'Sell The Show, Let Us Go'. That is something that I feel is critical we keep up, as I think one of the most powerful means of influence we have right now is to hold this industry responsible for the cancellation of queer content and just quality content overall. That's one direction we can really put our might towards - toppling the WBD empire faster. Other things we can shout for are a physical release, 'The Jenkins Cut' of s2ep8, deleted scenes/bloopers, merchandise, etc. Max is being absolutely idiotic right now in a way that shoots themselves in the foot, because they're holding onto this IP that could have been their lifeline for keeping subscribers and stock prices up, and not only did they cancel it but they're not even maximizing on the rights they refuse to sell by promoting it or making merch of it, anything that could continue to bring in revenue for what they KNOW without a doubt is one of the best performing shows they've ever had on their platform. Them trying to forget OFMD exists is the nail in their own coffin, because it's the only reason a whole lot of people ever did business with Max in the first place.

So, the long and short of it is, I'll never stop having hope for the return of our show! David said we got the attention of this industry, and we've proven our worth. It's just a really unstable landscape right now, so we need to be patient. It's annoying to see these streamers invest in less successful and more expensive shows, but I think they're all panicking to stay afloat even though they're not making decisions that could help them there. The dust needs to settle. If we can show that there's still a loud and passionate fanbase in a year, in three years, then they will revisit us. We need to keep calling out WBD and Max, we need to keep using hashtags to be heard, and just try to settle into a rhythm that we can maintain long-term. We still have a bunch of BTS to see from Samba, and we will have WJW with David at some point. I think it's important that we DON'T request any season 3 info from him, because that's what jeopardizes the possibility of that storyline then ever getting made. I'm seeing some people on Twitter start to burn out or fall into a state of sad acceptance and if you need to do that for your health, that's fine. But I don't want that mindset to spread throughout the fandom. Our outlook, our words, do have the power to become reality - if we sit back and wave the white flag, then that seriously hurts our chances of ever getting the show back. But if we can carry on like it's just a season hiatus, continuing to demand the question 'ok so WHEN *taps watch*' then our insistence can help make season 3 a reality.