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charlieeenby · 2 days
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meeting robin
the justice league is happy that batman is socializing, but they're worried that he doesn't seem to notice when robin is switched out every few years
warnings and tags: miscommunication but it's funny, alien invasion, mentioned violence
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“Batman,” Clark said slowly, “why do you have a second heartbeat?”
Instead of responding, Batman grunted.
“A second heartbeat?” Barry questioned, zipping over. “How would that even work?”
Another grunt from Batman.
“Batman?”
“I don’t.”
“But I can hear a second heartbeat coming from you.” Clark said, confused.
“It’s not mine.”
Barry choked. “Huh? Who is it then?”
“Robin’s.”
Clark frowned. “Who’s Robin?”
Batman grunted again, and Barry groaned.
“Come on, man!”
Then, Batman’s cape, which hid his entire body, shifted. Clark heard a small giggle. A child popped out, beaming.
“I’m Robin!” he exclaimed, clearly excited to be there. Barry was startled and jumped back a bit.
“What the f-” he stopped short when Batman glared at him. “Fudge?”
“Batman, what is…who is this?” Clark asked.
“This is Robin.” Batman said, like it explained anything.
“We got that. Why is he here?”
Robin bounced. “I’m gonna help!” he said, and Clark caught an accent he couldn’t quite place.
“Help?”
This got him a nod. “Yeah. B said I was ready to meet the Justice League!”
“Who’s B?”
Robin squinted at Barry’s question. Then pointed up at Batman. “B.”
“Batman, where’s Robin?” Diana asked, surprised the young vigilante wasn’t with Batman.
“He’s busy. Couldn’t come.” Batman said, and Diana got the sense that there was something that Batman wasn’t saying to her, but she decided to leave it be.
“I see. Is he alright?”
“Fine. Work.” Batman seemed to be giving short answers again, something he’d stopped doing after Robin had shown up.
“Well, tell him we all missed him, please.”
Batman grunted.
“Batman, what happened to Robin?” Barry questioned, staring at the small boy that had replaced the teen they’d watched grow up. This one seemed shy, half hidden behind Batman.
“Nothing.”
“Well something had to have happened, Robin was a lot taller last time we saw him.” Clark said, also watching the boy. “That’s not the same person.”
“No.” Batman said in an almost growl.
“Huh?” Barry said, confused.
“That’s not the Robin we know. That’s someone else.” Clark said.
“We’re ready to start.” Diana said from behind Batman and Robin, the latter of which startled by her.
Clark heard a quiet ‘woah’ from the boy and smiled. He must be a fan of Wonder Woman.
The Justice League and Robin shuffled into the meeting room, Robin sitting in a chair very close to Batman.
For the entire meeting, he sat quietly, mostly watching Diana with obvious wonder across his face.
Afterwards, Diana approached him, kneeling down to his level.
“Hello. My name is Diana.”
“H-hi.”
“How long have you been Robin?” she asked gently.
“Uh,” he looked up at Batman, who nodded encouragingly to the small boy. “A few months.”
“And are you enjoying it?”
Robin nodded. “Yeah. It’s fun and we get ta help people.'' This boy had an accent as well, though it was quite different from the first Robin’s.
“That’s wonderful.” Diana said. “We’re excited to work with you, Robin.” the kid beamed, looking like he was having the best day of his life.
“Batman, what the fuck?” Barry exclaimed, ignoring the various looks he got at the curse. “Why did Robin get smaller again?”
“Because I’m a different person.” Robin said.
“But he just replaced the first one like, two years ago!”
“Four, actually.”
“Batman? Could you explain, please?” Diana asked.
They got a grunt in response.
Clark sighed. “Batman, please, can you explain this?”
Robin scoffed. “Are you stupid?”
“Robin.” Batman’s tone had a warning in it.
“There’s nothing to explain.”
A grunt.
“Batman, Robin is a girl.” Hal said, confused and done with the entire thing.
“Is that a problem, fuckface?” The entire League took a step back, surprised by this Robin’s language.
“No, of course not. I’m just surprised, that’s all.” Hal said, trying to recover.
Robin huffed before turning back to Batman.
“Language, Robin.” was Batman’s response.
“Oh, come on, I coulda said a whole lot worse.” Her accent reminded Clark of the second Robin’s accent, though more pronounced.
“Tell that to Agent A.”
Robin gasped. “You wouldn’t!”
Batman grunted, though this sounded like one of his amused grunts.
“Fiiine.” She turned to Hal. “I'm sorry for calling you a fuckface.” that got a sigh from Batman.
She turned back to Batman. “Happy?”
Batman grunted again, and while Robin seemed content, Clark and the rest of the league had no idea what it meant.
“Oh my god, this one has a sword!” Hal screeched, running into the meeting room.
“Who does?” Diana asked, standing.
“Robin! Batman got a new one and he has a sword! He tried to stab me!”
“If I had tried to stab you, you would have been stabbed.” a small voice said from the doorway.
Everyone looked over to find Robin, scowling and glaring at all of them.
“He looks just like Batman.” Barry whispered, and Clark agreed. The boy in front of them had an uncanny similarity to Batman.
“Of course I look like him, I’m his son.” Robin snapped, and there were various gasps around the room.
“His son?” Barry’s pitch was high enough that Clark winced.
“Yes.”
“Robin.” Batman appeared behind Robin, frowning at the small boy and looking more annoyed then concerned. “Please don’t stab them. They are our allies, not our enemies.”
Robin looked annoyed, glaring at the Justice League. “Fine.”
“Go sit.” Batman said, nudging the boy towards a chair.
Clark looked up when the computer whirred to life.
“Recognized, Nightwing, B-0-1. Recognized, Red Robin, B-0-3. Recognized, Spoiler, B-0-4. Recognized, Robin, B-0-5.”
Clark stood and walked over to the zeta tube, staring at the four people that stepped out.
“Hey, Supes!”
“Who are you?” he asked, confused.
“We’re-” the one in black and blue started, but was interrupted by the one in red.
“We’re looking for Batman. It’s an emergency.” he stated, matter of fact. “Where is he?”
Clark hesitated. He didn’t know these people or how they got into the tower to begin with, but he wasn’t keen on taking them to Batman.
He didn’t have time to make a decision before the zeta tube started again.
“Recognized, Red Hood, B-0-2.”
He knew that Red Hood was a crime lord, how was the computer recognizing him?
“Where’s B?” Hood asked as soon as he was through.
“We’re still working on that.”
Hood groaned. “What part of ‘emergency’ did you not understand?”
The person dressed in purple scoffed. “We just got here and Superman is in the way. You wanna fight Superman?”
Hood looked over at Clark. “Hi.”
“Hi. What’s going on?”
“We need Batman. Got a bit of an emergency.”
Clark frowned and looked down at Robin. “Robin, what is going on? Who are these people?”
Robin scoffed. “Hood and Red Robin both informed you of what is going on, Superman. I didn’t know you were that dense.”
At least he knew the name of one of the new ones.
“Alright. Just, stay here, okay?”
“Fine.” Robin snapped, looking annoyed.
Clark went over to the chair he’d been in and hit the intercom. “Batman, you’re needed by the zeta tubes.”
A few minutes later, Batman appeared. When he saw the assortment of vigilantes, he sighed loudly.
“What happened?” he asked, sounding tired.
“We are being attacked by aliens.” the one in purple said.
Clark frowned and Batman shook his head.
“So you came up here to tell me instead of using the coms? Why?”
“Well, the com lines are down.” Hood said. “So yes, we came up here.”
“B, we really need to go take care of the aliens. Can we go?” the one in black and blue asked.
“Yes. Go, I’ll be down in a minute.” Batman said, still just sounding mildly inconvenienced instead of like someone who was just informed of an alien invasion.
As soon as they were all gone, Clark rounded on Batman. “What the hell? Who are they?”
Batman grunted. “Notify the rest of the League, then get down there.” he walked away, and left through the zeta tube.
Clark sighed and did as Batman had asked.
“Will you explain this now?” Clark asked, waving at the group of vigilantes that all said they worked with Batman, despite the League only knowing about Robin.
Batman just grunted and Clark was about to lose it, but then Batman said, “Robin.”
Clark stopped. “Huh?”
“Nightwing was the first Robin, Hood the second, Red Robin the third, and Spoiler the fourth. Orphan was never Robin, but she was Batgirl. Signal is new and has only ever been Signal.
“What the fuck?” Barry exclaimed. “I thought they all died!”
Hood raised his hand. “I did die.”
Batman sighed at that.
“Did he really?” Clark asked.
“Yes. But he’s fine now.”
“Am I?”
Batman groaned.
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foxscarf · 2 days
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26.3.24
it's time for one more big effort! I'm determined to get this all done now.
(and I'm in love with my vintage desk I bought second hand only last week; plus my gran's blanket is keeping me cosy. So I'm beginning to feel I'll be alright!)
37/100 days of productivity
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cherryandsugar · 2 days
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Long Day
Pairing: Astarion x gn!unnamed!Reader
Genre: Fluff, Comfort/No Hurt
WC: 986
Warnings: Set in Act 3 (minor spoilers, seriously so minor), reader is tired
Summary: Reader and their companions return from a long day in the city. Astarion is there to make sure they get the rest they need!
image from @/dailyastarionpics
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The day had been long, so terribly long. It seemed every stranger you passed on the street wanted a piece of you, leaving barely a moment to recuperate. You must have fought off three different groups before finally you, Karlach, Halsin, and Shadowheart trudged your way back to the Elfsong Tavern. The stress and strain of the day seemed to melt off your shoulders as you shrugged off your armor, ignoring it as it clattered to the floor.
Now comfortable in your camp clothes, you made your way from your own bunk to Astarion’s. He was in a state much unlike your own; he was calm… relaxed in the safety of camp, where he had spent the day. His back was turned to you as he carefully cleaned his dagger, armor long forgotten in a pile near his bed.
“You should ask Lae’zel to sharpen that,” you suggested, briefly breaking his focus.
“Hah! No thank you darling, she has enough blades as it is,” he retorted before sheathing the dagger and turning his full attention to you, “Is there something you wanted to talk about my dear?”
You shifted slightly, “Not really, I just… wanted to spend some time with you…”
His gaze softened from playful to affectionate at your admission. “Well, that can certainly be arranged. Come here, darling,” he held his hand out to you and you took it, smiling softly at him as he gently pulled you into his room. He led you to sit on his bed before he briefly turned to retrieve a decanter of water.
“You look tired, love. What happened out there?” his voice was soft, as he urged you to drink.
“It was just a lot of little things,” you sighed before taking a sip. When you were finished he took the glass from you, setting it on his bedside table.
“Nothing too dangerous I hope?” his voice was light and airy, but his eyebrows were furrowed and the corners of his mouth were turned down. He was worried. Trying to not let on to it, but worried all the same.
“No, just a basement full of rats, an angry counselor, and a shapeshifting serial killer,” you recounted, chuckling at the hilarity of your various enemies.
“Oh well if that’s all…” he lilted, before climbing into bed beside you, sitting up against the headboard. He held his arms open expectantly, “Come here, let me hold you, love.”
With a grateful smile, you crawled up to meet him. His hand found your cheek before he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to your lips. He sighed sweetly into you before turning your body to lay your back against his chest. His arms wrapped around your waist, a comforting pressure that kept you as close as possible. He leaned over your shoulder to plant a gentle kiss to your cheek, somehow softer than the previous one.
You melted into him, relaxing your tense muscles and allowing him to support you. Your hands came up to rest atop his as he lavished you with his attention, kissing down your cheek, your neck, your shoulder, before he finally stopped with a sigh.
“You really should take me with you more often, my love,” he whispered. His cool breath tickled your ear as it danced across your skin. You shuddered ever so slightly at the sensation and felt Astarion smile into your skin.
“You needed a break,” you whispered back.
“And what about you, darling?” he pressed, “When do you get a break?”
You paused for a moment, reflecting on his words. You never did get to take a break, did you? Every morning your ragtag group of companions looked to you for direction. Every day they waited for you to decide who would venture out. Every day they followed you into battle.
You were surprised you hadn’t noticed yourself. There was no formal decision to put you in charge, no team meeting wherein your traveling party appointed you as the leader. It just sort of happened. It was natural. But that also meant that you never really stopped to rest. Everyone else would take turns out in the field, while you pushed ever onward.
After taking a moment to think, your response was tense. Unsure, even.
“I— Well, I suppose I’ll take a break once we’ve gotten these tadpoles out.”
Astarion hummed behind you, his chest rumbled against your back as he contemplated your words. You could practically hear the gears turning in his head, and it gave you the somewhat urgent need to fill that silence.
“Don’t worry about me, all we have to do is save the world and then I’ll be able to relax,” you joked, trying to lighten his mood.
He huffed a laugh behind you, but his hesitance to speak was a clear enough message: You shouldn’t push yourself like this.
“It’s hard not to worry when it comes to you,” he admits. His voice is soft, soft enough that a light breeze could carry his words away, but you hear him all the same.
You don’t know what to say in return, so you opt to stay silent. You slouch ever further against him, eyes begging to droop closed. As if he can sense your fatigue, Astarion rubs soothing circles over your stomach.
“Rest now my love, I’ll be here when you wake.”
And rest you did, drifting peacefully into the night while your lover kept watch over your tired form. His embrace never faltered as he gazed lovingly down on you, fast asleep in his arms. Tomorrow, he would have a little chat with your fellow companions about the unfair burden you carried and the weight of your responsibility. But tonight? Tonight he protected your peace. Tonight he admired how smooth your face was as you slept, your usually furrowed brows gone soft. Tonight he was the only guardian you should need in sleep.
~~~
Author’s Note: hi again!!! just a short little drabble that was supposed to go a different way but ended up becoming this. i hope you enjoyed!! and if you did please consider reblogging/leaving a comment, they mean the world to me! criticism is also greatly appreciated. also if you liked this you might like the other astarion piece i’ve written (linked here). if you read this far thank you so much ily and you deserve a lil kiss
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pink-key · 2 days
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jacksmannequin · 17 hours
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some of my favorite pictures ive taken of mitski over the last few years 〰️ ❤️‍🔥
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dialtown whiteboard shit from 2 diff boards (more under the cut)
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tio-trile · 15 hours
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youtube
The trailer for Jurassic World: Chaos Theory is out! I had the privilege of working on this show as a storyboard artist, hope you all give it a watch on Netflix on May 24th!!!
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camphorfreya · 2 days
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bug66 · 1 day
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Guess who learnt there’s no profanity filter for AC names
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mustangs-flames · 2 days
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Mimicry - Hail, True Body: Part 1
"Simple black frames and glass covers, smeared at the edges by old fingerprints and collecting a thin layer of dust. It knew these pictures and the memories that it- they- no, that Cesar had connected to them."
Or: Who is Cesar now?
-
'Hail, True Body' is a religious horror series that focuses on what it means to be human in a world that God has abandoned. For Mark Owens, 1993 is shaping up to be the worst year of his young life - and that's saying a lot all things considered. When his best friend Cesar Hernández calls him one night in October, Mark ignores the broadcast warnings to help him out. But Cesar is acting... strange.
Though perhaps that's understandable. His mother did just die, after all.
New chapter is up!
Content Warnings included in beginning Author's Note.
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charlieeenby · 2 days
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let me show you how to kill a man
the bat won't kill, it's a line he won't cross. his birds, however, are a different story
warnings and tags: murder, violence, injury
title from how to kill a man by bloody civilian
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What everyone knows, is that Batman doesn’t kill. He can’t, or won’t, cross that line, and he doesn’t think that killing is the answer.
But he knows that it’s necessary sometimes, and while he’ll never kill, he knows that his children don’t share the same sentiment.
So when it comes down to it, he lets them, and over the years, he’s gotten a little more lax with that rule, trusting his children’s judgement of a situation, and when they need to, he turns his back, doesn’t acknowledge it, and let’s them do what they have to.
But he’s managed to keep it a secret from most, only a select few surviving his the feral sides every one of his children hid from most of the world.
A group of four men stood with their backs facing each other, knives and fists up, ready, for a fight.
But they wouldn’t get one. Batman dropped down from the rafters, but he seemed focused on the kids the men had placed in cages.
Before any of them could react, Nightwing dropped on top of one of them, snapping his neck in one fluid motion. Then he lunged for a second. The other two tried to attack him, but he was able to fend them off, on taking a blow to the face from an escrima stick, the other, a kick to the knee.
Nightwing snapped the neck of the man under him, then stepped to the one who’s knee he’s kicked in. He reached down and snapped his neck. Then he moved over to the fourth man, who swung his knife at him. Nightwing grabbed it, twisting it out of his hand, then stabbed him in the throat, no screams able to escape.
He stood, made sure there was no blood on his suit, then made his way over to Batman and the kids, helping his father get all of them home safe.
Afterwards, Batman asked him if the goons had been handled.
“Of course. Quick and quiet. Hood’s gonna take care of the rest.”
“Good. Let’s go home.”
“Batman doesn’t kill, which means you can’t stop me!”
Gordon growled under his breath, wishing at that moment that Batman did kill, because if someone didn’t kill this weeks psycho, he’d end up leveling the city a few months down the line.
When he looked over to Batman, he was surprised to see that the man had straightened up, hands relaxed at his sides. He had an odd expression on his face, on Gordon couldn’t quite read.
Then he said, very calmly, “You’re right. I don’t kill. I can’t stop you.” Gordon watched him put a hand on his belt for a brief second before dropping it to his side.
The rouge started cackling, ranting and raving about how he was going to be the first to beat Batman, but when he looked down at Batman, and saw the smirk on his face, he stopped.
“Why are you smiling like that?” he yelled, panic clear in his voice.
“I don’t kill, but he does.” Batman said.
“Who -” he was cut off by a gunshot and a bullet piercing his skull. Gordon looked up and found the Red Hood with a rifle.
“He killed almost an entire army, Batman!” Ra’s screamed. “He blew them up because I upset him.”
Batman leveled him with a blank look, but said nothing.
“You don’t kill. Are you going to just let your son kill of thousands of people?”
For a beat, Batman stayed quiet. Then he said. “I don’t let Red Robin do anything. He does what he wants, and you tried to blackmail and kill him. You threatened him, his friends and his family. What he did to keep them safe is not in my control.
“I don’t kill, but if he found it necessary, then I trust his judgement. I’m sure you’ll recover, Ra’s.”
Ra’s stared at him, and Batman turned and guided Red Robin and his team out of Ra’s’ palace.
“Batman, control your hell spawn!” Black Mask screamed, though it was cut off with a gurgle. Robin drove his sword through the crime lord’s throat, and Batman turned away, working through the files on the computer.
Robin came over to his side, blood on his face and sword.
Batman glanced at him, then said, “You have blood on your face. Please clean it off before we talk to the Commissioner.”
“Yes, Father.” Robin did as asked, making sure his face was clear of blood, then followed his father out of the hotel and onto the street where Gordon and his men were waiting.
“Batman. Are we clear to enter?”
“Yes. Black Mask is dead.” Batman said, handing over a flash drive to Gordon. “I have a copy as well.”
Gordon nodded slowly. “Dead?”
“He attacked Robin. Robin defended himself.” Batman said simply. Then he used his grapple gun to launch himself to a roof, Robin following closely behind.
“Okay, then.” Gordon said to himself, not sure how to react to that, especially after he'd seen Red Hood shoot a man after it seemed like Batman had given him the go ahead. 
While Barbra was Batgirl, she was safety and a warm light for the victims they all saved together. She was inspiration for little girls. She was violence, sure, but she was comfort, too.
Tonight, she was all violence. She and Batman had arrived a moment too late, and she was angry. She wanted vengeance and she would have it. Not even Batman would stop her.
No one could stop her when she rose from that little girls body and stepped forward, pulling out the knife her father had given her for her birthday. No one could stop her when she lunged, blade plunging into the killer’s throat, tearing it open. Blood spirted, spraying across her face.
And no one stopped her.
When the man was dead, and she was the killer, she stepped back, and looked to Batman.
He had bundled up the dead girl, wrapped her in his cape and covered her face. And then he had waited for Batgirl to finish. He looked at her for a moment, then nodded once.
“Go back to the cave and clean up. I’ll handle this.” he spoke softly, and there was no anger in his tone.
“Okay,” she said, and that was that.
Cass, Steph, and Jason were thick as thieves, and these days, Bruce rarely sees one without the other, especially on patrol.
So it didn’t come as much of a surprise when Spoiler called in saying that she, Orphan, and Hood needed backup.
Batman responded to the call, Nightwing a minute behind. When he arrived, he could hear fighting in the alleyway, but no gunshots, which worried him. Hood was quick to fire his guns when his siblings were in danger, and of all the times for him to use them.
But the air didn’t echo, it was still, quiet.
Batman dropped into the alleyway in time to watch Spoiler yank a knife from Orphan’s shaking hand, spin on her heel, and plunge the blade into a man’s eye, grinning under her mask as he screamed.
Hood came up behind the man and pulled a batarang across his throat, blood spilling down his chest. Even though he couldn’t see Hood’s face, Batman had the distinct impression that he had a grin that matched Spoiler’s.
Not pausing to hesitate, Batman moved to Orphan’s side, making sure she saw him before pulling her into a firm embrace. It was then that he saw the half dozen other bodies in the alley, all dead.
He looked to Spoiler and Hood.
Spoiler spoke up. “They attacked Orphan. She couldn’t kill them, so we did.” there was no room for argument, not that he had one.
“Thank you.”
Looking down at Orphan, he realized she was still shaking. “Sweetheart, it’s over. You’re safe.” he tried to soothe, though he wasn’t entirely sure what was wrong.
A hand rose and signed, “I thought I’d have to kill them.”
The shaking made sense now. “No, sweetheart, you will never have to kill again. I swear. And even if you did, I would still love you. You’d still be my daughter. Nothing will change that.”
Orphan laid her head on his shoulder. “Thank, you, Dad.”
“Love you, kiddo.”
Batman stood on the rooftop, watching Spoiler go after her father, a flash of purple here and there the only sign of her.
Cluemaster was no match for the girl he claimed to be the father to. He’d only hurt her, sharpened the blade.
But Spoiler was who she was in spite of her father, not because of him.
She became the one to beat him so she could save people. And when Batman had found her, he’d helped her hone the skills she already had, helped her improve. And while he’d done that, he’d given her a home, a family, and most importantly, he’d given her love.
Now she was gutting her father, preventing him from causing anymore suffering.
And when she swung up to the roof Batman was on and saw him, she ran to him, ran into his arms, and clung to him.
“He’s gone, sweetheart. He can’t hurt you or anyone ever again. You’re safe.” he whispered, holding her gently. “I’ve got you.”
While the other’s killing had never surprised Batman, Signal came as a slight surprise. But only slight. He was a bright, warm light, often reminding his family of the sun.
But the sun was fire, and fire burns. So when Signal came face to face with the Joker only a few months after losing his parents, Batman wasn’t sure what to expect.
When Signal caught sight of Joker, he snarled, and tensed up, ready to fight. The Joker had cackled and started taunting Signal.
Red Hood was about to step in when Signal grabbed Hood’s gun and fired every round into the Joker’s head, until his face was obliterated and unidentifiable. Then he’d dropped the gun and fell to his knees.
Batman stepped up next to him and set a hand on the teen’s shoulder. “He’s dead, Signal. It’s over.” he said, voice as gruff as ever.
“I know.”
For a moment, they were all quiet, not sure what to do. Then Batman offered a hand to Signal and helped him up. “You good?” he asked, looking his son over.
Signal didn’t answer right away, but then he said, “I will be… thank you.”
Batman smiled. “Of course.”
Of all the times for his children to start killing people, now was the worst time. He couldn’t just ignore it because the Justice League was here. So Batman was not having a good time.
“Batman,” Flash started, voice shrill. “Nightwing just tore a man’s head off.”
To his left, Orphan snickered, not that anyone would know aside from him, but she did. Batman sighed.
“I saw that, Flash, thank you.” What was he supposed to do?
“Batman, almost all of your… children are actively killing people. Signal and Orphan are the only one’s who aren’t.” Superman said. “Why aren’t you reacting?”
Batman looked at him. He hesitated.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” Superman was an inch away, worry clear on his face.
On his right, Signal cleared his throat. “I feel like it’s a good time to point out that one, the people they’re killing are all of the rapists that have ever existed on earth, come back to life, and two, no one else is doing anything about it.”
Batman grinned. Well, the corner of his mouth ticked up, but it may as well have been a grin with the way Superman stared at him.
“Batman?” he asked incredulously.
“Hn?”
“Do something!”
Batman tilted his head, grunted, then walked over to the ledge they were all on. “Hey!” he yelled and the fighting stopped, all of his children stopping and staring at him. “Superman wants you to stop killing.”
For a good thirty seconds, no one moved or said anything. Then on the comms, Batman heard Hood snort.
“B, will you please tell Superman to, respectfully, get fucked?” Nightwing said in a sickeningly sweet voice.
Batman grunted, then turned to the League. “Superman, Nightwing told me to tell you to get fucked. Respectfully.” he said, deadpan. Then he walked back to where he was standing.
Bonus:
It had been twenty years since the Wayne’s brutal murder in that alley way, ten since Batman had started, and one since Dick had joined the family. Today, someone was breaking into the manor.
Alfred sighed as he loaded his shot gun. This would be messy to clean up, but he never missed and he didn’t share the same sentiment as his son.
So he after he finished loading it, he stepped into the hallway, moving silently towards the living room. Must be idiot intruders, thinking there’d be anything to take there.
When he stood in the doorway of the room, he raised his riffle, counted the men – there were three – then spoke.
“Hello.”
They all spun around staring wide eyed at the shot gun.
Alfred grinned. “Goodbye.” he fired three shots in quick succession, all three of them dead. Footsteps pounded down the stairs and Bruce flew around the corner, panic on his face.
“Nothing to fret over, Master Bruce.” Alfred said calmly. “I’ve handled it. The mess will be cleaned up before breakfast. Now go back to bed, dear boy.”
Bruce gave him an odd look, eyeing the shot gun, then nodded and went back to bed.
In the morning, when Bruce looked into the living room, it was spotless, nothing out of place. No one said anything about it. 
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snazzyerin · 1 day
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Honey-Do
Tony is full-term and on full bed rest. He's also nesting, and not being able to get up and clean in preparation for the baby is driving him crazy. So, Steve tells him to make him a honey-do list of all the things he wants done.
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tinysupervicki · 6 hours
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I love them, your honor
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pink-key · 2 days
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Do you sometimes make an oc for ai chat stuff to self-insert in? I sure did for some reason. Janitor ai sure has some cool bots.
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idksmtms · 2 days
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evermore series
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To all the swifties who enjoy my writing, this one is for you! I got this idea at 3am and I am now committed! I'm gonna write a one-shot for each song from the album (at least the ones I can think of) for a variety of characters! This will probably go a bit slowly because I'm writing another series at the same time but I got a bunch of inspo for some of these songs and this idea so I have to do this!
Below I have the track list and the characters:
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willow - Cillian Murphy
champagne problems - Aemond Targaryen Modern AU
gold rush - Kerry Von Erich
'tis the damn season - Aegon II Targaryen
tolerate it - Daemon Targaryen
no body no crime - Daemon Targaryen
happiness - David Von Erich
dorothea - Cillian Murphy
coney island - Kerry Von Erich
ivy - Kerry Von Erich
cowboy like me - David Von Erich
long story short - Cillian Murphy
marjorie - David Von Erich
closure - Uhtred Ragnarsson
evermore - David Von Erich
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applebutterbee · 1 day
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Our King 👑
With the Sluttiest Waist!
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