#NO WONDER YOU COULDN'T EVER HAVE A RELATIONSHIP BITCH NO WONDER YOU KEPT LOSING FRIENDS BITCH

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

hmm i just realised that last post i made (the one about the school memory) would have been the type of thing that would suddenly cross my mind and then i'd tell my (now ex) all about it so then i could share the laughter with someone

[missvelvetsstuff]

Where you goin, Star?

Biker Bucky Barnes x Rich girl Reader

Summary: Reader meets Bucky when the truck hauling her show horses breaks down as she is trying to leave for an event and he works for the mechanic. Passionate, secret love affair ensues. After a confrontation with her father, Bucky decides she deserves better than a poor biker like him and leaves town with his friends Steve and Sam.

Three years later, reader is trapped in an abusive relationship and about to give up hope of things ever improving, when Bucky comes back.

Chapter 7

Warnings: swearing, angst, vague rape/noncon, substance abuse, violence

After the groundbreaking....

Tony Stark and his wife Pepper took John and Y/N out to dinner. John grilled Tony beyond what would be considered socially acceptable, trying to get information about his partnership with the Commandos. Y/N sat quietly, exchanging pleasantries with Pepper when necessary.

John wasn't pleased with any of it. Tony Stark wasn't a supporter but John wanted Tony's deep wallet in his corner. He knew that his wife knew how important Starks support could be and she was just sitting there like a useless bitch. John remembered how beautiful and exciting she was before they got married, of course he blamed her for being lazy instead of thinking he might be behind her bad attitude. He also needed to know what Barnes and his friends were doing back in town. He couldn't afford to lose his access to the Pierce fortunes.

"You'll have to excuse my wife, Mr Stark, she's a little shy. Somehow she prefers dirtbags to higher society." He snapped.

Tony smiled at her gently, Nick had given him the basic details about Barnes and his Star. She didn't seem much like the woman that Nick told him about which made Tony wonder what John had done to her. "That's alright, John, I don't want to make the lady uncomfortable." He turned to Y/N "Pepper told me you are an accomplished equestrian but have been missing from the show circuit since you married Johnny here."

John glared at her, then flashed an obviously fake smile at Tony but Tony didn't miss the malevolence in his eyes directed at Y/N. John grabbed her hand "Yes, she was but she dropped that hobby to help me with my career. I couldn't have asked for a more supportive wife" and squeezed her hand painfully.

Y/N smiled weakly "I do love horses but it was time to grow up and look towards the future."

Pepper gave Tony a concerned look at her response "That's a shame, didn't you have lessons or some kind of program for at risk kids?" She knowingly looked at John "Voters love that kind of human interest, seeing that their candidates families do something to give back. Campaign donors as well."

John looked skeptical "I don't know that she has the time for that sort of thing. There's a Senate election next year that will keep us busy."

Tony rolled his eyes "Weren't you just sworn into the House? Shouldn't you focus on your new job instead of looking for another one?"

John chuckled "I always like to keep my eye on the future. I'd hate to miss an opportunity." And smiled as he blatantly looked Pepper up and down.

"So, Tony. How did you end up in business with bikers? They don't seem the most reliable people"

Tony rubbed his hand down his face thinking John had a pretty high opinion of himself considering he married himself into political office. "My protege is one of them. Kid is brilliant, almost as smart as me. Nick Fury and his Commandos kept him out of trouble before I found him. They might be a little rough around the edges but they are good people. Besides, I prefer not to get hung up on appearances or labels. Those men all served our country and want to help their community."

John rolled his eyes "If you say so" before the food arrived. Then he spent the meal checking Pepper out and trying to gauge whether Tony could be swayed to his side. He barely noticed Y/N was even there until she excused herself.

When she closed the ladies room door behind her, Y/N let out a sigh of relief, even if she only had a few moments. She quickly washed a couple of pills down with a drink from her flask and rubbed her neck. Looking at her watch she realized it was almost 9pm and she needed to get back to her parents house before it got too late.

When she came back to the table Tony and Pepper were standing to leave. Tony looked angry and John looked smug, eyes glued to Peppers chest. Tony quickly covered his wife with her coat and grabbed the check.

Pepper gave Y/N a hug and dropped a business card into her purse. Tony kissed her cheek and murmured "Call us if we can do anything to help, Star."

Hearing the nickname made her heart race and she tried to steady her voice "Thank you so much for dinner, Tony, Pepper. It was lovely getting to know you both. I hope we'll be able to get together again soon."

Tony smiled tensely. John chuckled "Yes we must get together again." And stared at Peppers ass while she walked away.

When they were in John's car, Clint driving, John put his arm around her shoulders and punched her in the stomach "What the fuck was that about? Tony Stark is a very influential businessman and potential donor and first you barely speak and then you go on about your stupid horses like he cares." He grabbed her hair and pulled her head back "When will you learn that you are nothing? No one cares about the stupid rich girl and her fucking horses." He spat in her face "You're nothing but an ornament, meant to look nice and have my kids. Your thoughts and feelings don't mean shit, Princess."

Y/N tried to protest "But Pepper brought horses up, I didn't-"

John roared "Shut up you stupid cunt. I don't care!"

He ripped her dress and had his way with her while Clint drove. John couldn't even be bothered to put the privacy divider up.

Y/N just lay there numb, hoping he would finish soon.

After they arrived at her parents house, John berated her for almost 30 minutes before he left. On his way out he pinched her nipple until she cried out and told Brock "I don't have time to punish her so I'll let you have a turn. Just remember to wear a condom and don't make any marks where people might see them." He looked at his wife and smirked "I've heard Brock is rougher than I am, try not to miss me too much."

Y/N looked at Brock apprehensively "I think I'll head up to bed" but he grabbed her before she could get away.

"I don't think so sweetheart, it's still early and I'll be honest with you, I've been waiting for a chance at your cunt for 3 fucking years so I'm not waiting any longer, sweet butt." He pulled her to him and stuck his tongue in her mouth, laughing when she shoved him away. "One thing is for sure, this will go easier for you if you don't fight but I really hope you do. I love a challenge."

She took a few seconds to weigh her options and decided she had a better chance of getting him out of the way so she could sneak out, if she went on the offensive.

Star took a swig from her flask and steeled herself to seduce Brock.

It only took 20 minutes for her to get Brock off and for him to pass out. Star carefully extricated herself from him and went to the bathroom to clean herself up. 15 minutes later she was dressed in leggings and a hoodie, and he was still snoring so she climbed down from her balcony and headed to meet Bucky.

When she arrived at the corner she didn't see him around yet so lit up a cigarette and took a long drag, the exhale relaxing her.

"Where you goin, Star?"

She scoffed "When are you going to give up that stupid nickname?"

Bucky shook his head "You'll always be my Star."

He watched as she took another hit "When did you start smoking, Star? That shit will kill you, you know."

She laughed hollowly "Not fast enough." She looked at him like she was trying to read his mind "So spit it out. I don't have all night. Brock is passed out but I don't know how long that will last. And don't apologize again."

She stared at him, waiting.

Bucky looked at her sadly "Why did you marry him, Star? I told you-"

She spat at him "You didn't tell me shit Barnes except how much you loved me right before you deserted and blocked me."

He shook his head "That's not true, Star. I gave Brock a package to give you. I'm guessing he didn't." He sighed "I just wish you had waited."

"Waited for what? You blocked me and my father didn't give me any choice."

"There's always a choice, if-"

Star was fuming "A choice? A CHOICE!!" She tried to keep her voice down "Do you want to know what my goddamn choice was, James? I could marry John, or Brock could kill all my horses"

Bucky shook his head "No doll, your father wouldn't have done something like that. He had too much money invested in your horses. You should have.." But stopped when he saw the look on her face.

"I should have what, James? I refused to marry John. Dear old dad told me get with the program or else. I said no and he had Brock-" her voice caught and she choked "He had Brock kill Charlie. Shot him in the head, right in front of me" she took in a few painful gulps of air "Promised to kill Lulu next if I didn't cooperate." She wiped her eyes "You had a choice, James. You chose to leave me, knowing what a bastard my father was. I didn't have any choice. I'm not selfish enough to let my friends die so I could leave. And that's the tip of the iceberg" She lit another cigarette "I don't need or want you anymore, James. You can go."

She turned "Actually, wait. Why did you come back? The timing is questionable."

Bucky sighed "I'm sorry Star. I really didn't think he would do anything like that. I know you hate me now and I get it but I want to help you. I'll leave you alone if you want but I want to help you get away from John."

She pushed "But why NOW? It's been 3 years. Why not a year ago or two years. Why not next year? I'm really curious."

Bucky stammered "I meant to be back within a year but it took longer to get everything together. Now because it was time to break ground on our shop."

She looked at him in disbelief "Really? My upcoming birthday and the large inheritance I'm expecting didn't have any impact on your decision? Or my father's death and what I'll get from him?" She laughed "You didn't decide to sweep in and save the poor heiress just in time to enjoy my inheritance? How fucking dumb do you think I am?"

Bucky shook his head "No, Star. I swear. I left to make myself a better man. One who deserved you." He looked at her with tears in his eyes "I went back to school. All three of us, we took courses to become certified Harley mechanics and I got a degree in business management so we could start our own shop. The money your dad gave me helped us survive while we were in school.

The night I met him he told me that you wouldn't stay for long with a loser biker who couldn't even pay rent for his own apartment. I decided that I wanted to be a better man for you but the contract that he insisted on required that I leave town and not have any contact with you. I gave Brock a package for you but I realize he didn't. One more thing i need to hurt him for."

Star looked confused "I could list a hundred reasons to hurt Brock but why would you?"

"Star, he's hurt you and, and" Bucky choked back a sob "John told me" he could barely say it "You were pregnant?" And tried to hold the tears back.

Stars knees buckled and she almost fell but leaned against the wall and nodded, eyes filled up with more tears.

Bucky tried to reach out to her, wanting to help her carry the pain but she pulled away and wrapped her arms around herself.

"I'm so sorry, Star. I'm so fucking sorry. I know I still don't deserve you but please let me help. I'll leave you alone but I want to help you."

She looked at him with dull eyes and scoffed "You can't help me James. I have no inheritance, my father fixed that, and if I leave John will have Brock kill the rest of my horses. I couldn't live with myself. Enjoy your business, I can't go anywhere."

She turned to go back to the house and he stopped her.

"Please doll. I'll do anything. I've made a couple of powerful friends. I could help you get an attorney to help with your inheritance, or make John disappear." He tried to joke.

She sighed "James, he's a congressman you can't make him disappear. He has all sorts of contingencies so if something happens to him, I'll suffer. He has my dads money and the best attorneys, he's too powerful. And that's if I trusted you to help me, which I don't. You should have let me decide if you were enough.

Go back to your garage."

Y/N hurried back to the house and got nervous when she couldn't hear Brocks snoring or see him in her bed where he was passed out. She froze when she heard him chuckle "Aawww, there you are, Princess. You're in deep shit." He grabbed her around the throat and slammed her against the wall. "You're gonna have to work your ass off to keep me from telling John." He kissed her messily and she tried to pull away. When she couldn't move away she bit his tongue.

Brock roared "Fucking bitch! You're gonna pay for that. I'm taking that ass. After I beat it raw"

Y/N panicked "No, Brock, I never. Please."

He laughed "Never? Even better." He turned her around and threw her onto the bed, ripping her leggings down around her ankles so she couldn't move her legs. He started raining blows down on her bare skin. She cried and tried to get away from him but he was too strong and too angry. He laughed "Thats right princess, cry all you want your tears only make me harder. I can't wait to tear that tight hole apart. You're gonna wish you never met me"

Brock called Jack into the room and they took their turns with all of her holes, not even stopping when she passed out as the sun was coming up.

She woke up a few hours later, hurting all over and sticky with sweat and cum.

It hurt to move but she forced herself into a hot shower after taking her pills.

She scrubbed away all the traces of Brock and Jack until her skin felt raw.

After drying off she put on an oversized t-shirt and soft leggings.

When she saw that Brock was still asleep she quietly made her way downstairs to her fathers office.

She continued going through his desk, hoping she might find something to nullify her fathers will. She knew he must have some dirt on John, to keep him in line, her father always liked to be in charge.

It took another 2 days until she found a small key that had the name and address of her father's bank on a luggage tag on the keychain. It was hidden behind the desk drawer. When she realized it was a key for a safe deposit box it was already after the bank closed.

She hid the key under the bottom panel of her purse and went to sleep with plans to go to the bank in the morning.

Chapter 8

[bangtanreadingcorner]

rumor has it [1/2] • jung hoseok

plot — your best kept secret comes out and it becomes a hot topic around your university. it also brings you and hoseok closer.

words — 3.5K

You are going to lose it.

Seriously. The next person who asks you if the rumor is true, Lord help them, you are going to go bat-shit crazy on them.

You also swore off drinking indefinitely because if you hadn't been so inebriated, you would have taken another shot instead of telling the truth. Well, maybe not because it was because of drinking shots that you ended up in this mess in the first place.

So, yeah, drinking was out of the picture for the moment.

In all honesty, you weren't embarrassed about it. About still being a virgin. You made your choice a long time ago, and you choose to stick by it. You didn't want a perfect first time, or to wait until marriage, but you want to be comfortable with the person and you want it to feel right. You've never felt that with anyone before.

And if that made you a prude in the eyes of society, well then they can go fuck themselves for all you care. You'll wait until the time is right.

You looked up, to see where your feet had taken you and was it was in the Quad. It was just a large patch of grass with picnic tables place in it. For either eating or studying or just taking a break.

You sat down at a table, and barely twenty seconds after you sat down, three guys approached you. The one in the middle opened his mouth, "Hey! Y/N, is it true?"

You sincerely hoped it wasn't what you think it was, so you decided to give the idiot the benefit of the doubt. "Is what true?"

"That you're a virgin. I wanted to know if it's true, that's all." He said with a dirty smirk, making no secret of the fact that he was trying to check you out - the picnic table hid most of your body so it didn't work as well as he hoped.

"Yes, it's true." You snapped, voice harsh as the last of your patience swiftly ran out. "Rumor also has it you're an insensitive moron. So glad we could both confirm the running gossip. Now fuck off."

The guy scoffed, "Now wonder you're still a virgin. No one likes an uptight bitch."

"Now wonder you're still single. No one likes an stupid dick." You smirked up at him, watching in amusement as he stalked off with his two friends that looked a little embarrassed.

Ah, how you love using people's own words against them. Nothing makes a person angrier than that. It's really amusing too.

There was two more incidents - two girls that were curious, and one guy who offered his experience to you. Ugh.

Your stomach dropped when you saw the next person who approached you because you actually like this guy.

"Oh, not you, too, Hoseok." You groaned when you saw him, dropping your head down on your books.

"What?" Hoseok asked, bewildered, as he slid into the seat opposite you.

You peaked at him, cheek laying on your books, "Aren't you here to find out if the rumor is true and then mock me and judge me?"

"What rumor?" He asked, a little confused, as you sat upright. You just gave him a flat look and waited. You saw the dots connect in his mind. "Right. That rumor."

"Yeah." You gave him a humorless smile.

Hoseok shook his head, expression gentle as he looked at you. "Well, no. I'm not. One, it's none of my business. And two, it'd be hypocritical if I judged you."

"Why would it-" You cut yourself off as realisation set in, your eyes widened in disbelief as you inhaled sharply. "No way."

Hoseok laughed, his face lighting up and dimples on display, "It's true."

"I don't believe it." You laughed in disbelief. Hoseok had to be pulling your leg.

"Believe it." He nodded.

"You? Seriously?" You couldn't wrap your head around it.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He frowned at you.

"I don't mean anything by it, it's just . . ." You paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts and then settled with your default setting: brutal honesty. "Well, to be perfectly honest, you're like a wet dream come to life and it's a little hard to believe."

Hoseok's cheeks flushed and a satisfied warmth stirred in your belly, "I, uh, I've never wanted to. I mean, I've had girlfriends before but never enough to want to take them to bed."

"Now that, I understand. I've had two boyfriends and both of them I dropped when they kept pressuring me for more and I didn't want too." You told Hoseok who nodded along with what you said.

"Yeah, I know right. I mean, one of my ex-girlfriends accused me of not loving her." Hoseok actually pouted a bit as he spoke. You giggled at the sight, endeared by him. "She was right thought, I didn't love her. I liked her a lot, but it wasn't love. I don't think I've ever been in love. Not really." He looked at you. "Have you ever been in love?"

"I don't know." You admitted. "I mean, how do you know when you love someone? It's not like you can measure it."

"That's a fair question. I mean, I guess it's something you just know. Like, when you listen to a song and you know you love it after listening to it once. Maybe it's like that." Hoseok said and then suddenly he looked down, seeming embarrassed. "Sorry, you probably think that's dumb."

"No, no, not at all. I think it kind of fits." You said hastily, not wanting him draw the wrong conclusions. "I actually understand what you said more than when someone tries to tells me about how sometimes love is fate or destiny or written in the stars." You pulled a face.

Hoseok laughs and it makes you laugh back.

"Did you want something?" You asked him, when you both calmed down, still smiling.

"Huh?" He asked, clearly a little confused. You thought he looks adorable.

"You came over here," You reminded him. "I assume it was to ask or tell me something."

"Oh yeah." Hoseok's cheeks flushed again as realisation lit in his eyes. "I just wanted you to know that Jae is adjusting nicely to the classes."

A smile automatically spread on your lips at the mention of your nine year old sister. She recently started hip-hop classes and that was actually how you met Hoseok, he's her teacher. One afternoon your mother asked you to pick her up after practice and you and Hoseok talked a bit, and you found out that you go to the same university but just different major's. His is dance and yours is business.

"I'm glad." You smiled wider at him. "You didn't have to come all the way over here to tell me that though."

Hoseok let out a nervous laugh, rubbing at the nape of his neck as he looked at you shyly. "I also wanted to know if I can buy you a coffee sometime, maybe? I wanted to ask you out the day we met, I didn't think it would be appropriate, 'cause I was at work and all."

Now it was your turn to blush, pleasantly surprised by his offer. You had found yourself liking your sister's dance teacher, too, but you didn't know if he would say yes. And he wasn't some random guy could ask out and just forget if he says no.

You smiled, cheeks on fire as you looked at him. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"How does Saturday sound?" Hoseok asked excitedly and your stomach dropped.

"I can't, sorry." You told him, watching as his face fell. "Not because I don't want too. It's just, I promised my mom I'd spend the whole Saturday with her and my sister because according to her she doesn't see me enough." You hurried to explain.

Hoseok smiled again and your heart lifted, "Okay, how about Sunday afternoon?"

You don't think you've ever nodded so fast in your life. "Yes, that's perfect."

***

That Saturday when you went home, your mom squinted at you as you hopped on the kitchen counter as she made breakfast. "What is going on with you?"

"Nothing." You smiled innocently at your mother. She's been giving you looks since you arrived.

"Am I suppose to believe that all this smiling and the happy sparkle in your eyes is from nothing?" She asked, raising a brow. You decided to tell her because you and your mom have always been close. And you've been wanting to tell someone who won't tease you about Hoseok. Your best friends Minji and Jamie does that enough. You also wanted to tell her before she finds out by herself. You would never live it down.

"I'll tell you, but I don't want you to make a big deal out of this, okay, mom?" You said, grinning excitedly.

Her curiousity effectively peaked, your mom nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes, I won't. Promise."

"Okay, so, there's this guy I really, really like and we're going out tomorrow." You gushed, barely holding in a squeal as your cheeks hurt from smiling so wide.

Your mother gasped, a smile of joy spreading on his lips. "Oh, oh! This is wonderful news. Who is this young man that's managed to capture your attention? Is he nice? I hope he's not a troublemaker like your second boyfriend. Why, I heard the other day that he got arrested from breaking into someone's home. Can you believe that?"

You winced at the reminder of your second boyfriend. Not one of your proudest moments but you had a lot of fun with him. Right up until he wanted to get into your pants. The relationship went downhill pretty quick after you said no.

"I can't say I'm surprised." You admitted, because he always liked to skirt at the edge of the law, it was only a matter of time before he broke it. Luckily you got away before it went that far.

"Enough about him, though. Tell me about this boy of yours." Your mom pushed with glittering eyes.

You cheeks flushed, "Well, he's not mine yet, mom. And it's just a coffee date."

"Tell me his name then." She prodded hopefully.

You gave her a sheepish smile, "I can't, sorry."

"Why not?" She frowned.

"Because you know him." Now you smirked at her, knowing she'll drive herself crazy, trying to figure out who he is.

***

You couldn't remember the last time you were this nervous.

Oh, no, wait. You could. It was right before you went to get your final results for high school. You didn't sleep that night and you barely slept Saturday night. Falling asleep early Sunday morning and sleeping until finally your alarm woke you up at 11:00AM.

You immediately started getting ready. You took a shower, used a hairdyer for the first time this year (air-drying is much easier and more fun) before taking a hair straightner to your unruly mop of curls. You picked a nice outfit but decided to forego make-up. That would be too over the top for you.

Your phone buzzed with a text a little after 03:00PM.

You smiled widely when you saw who it was. You and Hoseok had exchanged numbers after he asked you out and kept in touch over the last week.

Hoseok

See you in a bit.

You

Can't wait!

You walked to the cafe you two agreed to meet at, nervous but also excited. You entered the cafe and heard your name being called by a familiar voice.

A smile automatically spread on your lips as you walked to the table where Hoseok was waving from. You couldn't even find it in yourself to care about the people staring at you. He stands up when you arrive at the table and goes to pull out your chair but you wave him off with a smile.

"Hey, I'm not late, right?" You asked with a nervous smile.

Hoseok shakes his head, beaming at you. "Nope, I'm early."

You looked at the time on your phone and smiled. 03:24PM. You're both early then. Sure, only six minutes, but it's a good sign, right?

"How've you been?" You ask as you pushed your phone into the back pocket of your jeans.

"Good. I actually caught up on some overdue work, yesterday. You?"

"I'm fine. It was nice spending time with my mom and my sister."

The waitress comes up to your table with a notebook. "Are you ready to order?"

Hoseok's sunny grin dims a bit. "I forgot to give her the menu."

"It's okay." You laughed brightly. "I come here often, so I know what I want." You assured him, then looked at the waitress. "I'd like a bubblegum milkshake and a big chocolate muffin."

"Okay," The waitress nods, repeating your order as she writes and you confirm it. She turns at Hoseok, "And for you?"

"I'd like a hazelnut latte and a waffle with peppermint and chocolate ice cream." He orders. You both wait until the waitress leaves before resuming your conversation.

"Interesting choice. The hot with the cold." You grin at him.

"Mmn, I didn't take you for having a sweet tooth."

You froze for a bit because normally you don't have a sweet tooth, not really, but it's not like you could tell him you're having pre-period cravings.

"Depends on my mood." You said instead, and it was the truth. You ate whatever you were in the mood for in general, not just when you are on your period. But you also like salty food more than sweet, but whenever you crave something sweet, it's usually because of your monthly gift from Eve.

Hoseok nods, accepting the answer. He tilts his head at you, "How's your mom and sister?"

"Well, my sister is an adorable little pain in the ass like always and my mom is starting a list of all the guys she knows, but overall they're good." You told him, laughing a bit as you spoke.

"Do I want to know?" He looked at you, equal parts curious and wary.

"I don't know, do you?" You asked teasingly, smiling at him, wiggling your eyes brows.

He thought for a moment, "Yeah, I do."

"It's nothing bad. I just told my mom about our date, and when she asked for your name, I told her that I can't tell her because she knows you."

Hoseok frowned ever so slightly, "Why didn't you want to tell her?"

"Because I don't want her to bombard you with personal questions until we figure out where we want this to go." You explained, gesturing between the two of you with your index finger.

Hoseok's eyes twinkled with mischief and laughter as he asked, "Ah, so she can ask me the personal questions after we start dating then?"

"Oh, yeah," You nodded, liking the idea of dating Hoseok all too much. "You'll have to prepare yourself to answer anything from what your first word was, to what brand and colour underwear you wear."

Hoseok burst out laughing and you smiled as you watch him. You like the way he laughs, unrestrained and so fully. It makes you feel warm inside.

You talk about this and that until your order arrives. Technically it was dessert, rather than food but eh, neither of you minded. And this was supposed to be a coffee date. It was already better than you two planned.

"Jung Hoseok." You called him seriously, after you finished eating your muffin, fiddling with the straw of your milkshake.

He sobered up, looking a little startled, "Yeah?"

"I adore you." You said, giving him a soft, slow smile.

His cheeks flushed and you realised you like making him blush.

Hoseok looked at you, eyes serious despite his red cheeks. "I really like you, Y/N."

Blood rushed to your cheeks and your heart picked up its pace. You looked down, sipping on your melting milkshake. When both of you were done eating and finished drinking, you ordered another milkshake and Hoseok ordered another latte.

Neither of you were ready to go home yet.

"So, why dance?" You asked him somewhere after your third milkshake, curious.

"I've always found it easier to express myself with my body rather than words." He shrugged, looking a little shy. "It's my greatest passion. When I'm dancing, I'm free."

"I'd like to watch you dance sometime. If you don't mind."

"Yeah, sure. I don't mind." Hoseok shook his head. "Why business?" He asked in return.

"Promise you won't laugh?" You asked first, looking at him seriously.

"I promise."

"And you can't tell anyone and I'll know if you have because I haven't told anyone. Not even my mom, but I think she suspects."

"I won't." Hoseok swore, sitting a little straighter.

"I want to start my own shoe store. Originally I wanted to study something in a fashion direction, I like designing shoes, but the industry is tough to get into. So, I figured I'll start smaller and work my way up." You looked down at the table, fiddling with a serviette.

"Wow. That's like . . .your whole future planned out." Hoseok said, looking at you with wide eyes.

You snorted, "Not really. It's just a dream. It's going to take hard work to make it into a reality."

"You can do it. I believe in you." He said, so sincere that you had no choice but to believe him.

When you finally went home, it was dark and Hoseok walked you back to your dorm room. Halfway there, he brushed his hand against yours and when he slid his palm against yours, you happily entwined you'd fingers.

You opened your door and turned to him, ready to say something but he beat you to it.

"I had a really great time today." He said with that ever present sunny smile that made your heart sing when he directed it at you.

"Me too. It was much better than I expected." You said, only realising after his smile dropped how that might have sounded to him. "Not that I expected it to be bad, just a little awkward because you make me nervous. Really nervous. But it wasn't awkward at all. I was comfortable from the beginning."

"Oh." Hoseok breathed softly, and you could heard the relief in that one syllable. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. Maybe we could do it again, sometime?"

"Oh, we better." You told him seriously.

"Well, I should get going. We have class tomorrow." He took a step back from you, clearly intent on leaving. You looked at him with raised brows.

"You're really not going to try for a goodnight kiss?" You laughed.

Hoseok let out an indignant huff, crossing his arms over his chest. "Hey, don't laugh at me. I'm trying to be a gentleman here."

You positively melted from his words, heart speeding up. You gave him a look full of adoration. "Hoseok, you are always a gentleman and I appreciate it," Your gaze turned a bit mischievous. "But you should know that I've been wondering what it would be like to kiss you since the day we met."

His eyebrows rose, jaw going slack as he looked at you in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes, really." You nodded, amused. "So, whenever you're feeling like being ungentlemanly, just know I wouldn't be opposed to it."

"Okay." He nodded dumbly and you laughed.

"Good night, Hoseok." You told him fondly.

"Night." Hoseok echoed, taking another step back and then turning away from you. You waited until he reached the stair case before you closed your door, letting out a squeal of happiness.

You took of your shoes, haphazardly kicking them into the shoe rack, pulling off your baby pink sweater as you padded to your room, humming with a gigantic grin on your face.

It wasn't five minutes since you arrived home when a knock sounded on your door. You threw your sweater on the bed, heading to the door.

"Yeah, I'm coming." You called, and the incessant knocking ceased. Probably Minji or Jamie that wants to borrow a book or some paper to print a project. You opened the door, frowning slight when you saw who was on the other side, "Hoseok? Is everything okay?"

"I'm not feeling very gentlemanly right now." He declared before stepping closer, grabbing you by the neck and kissing you until you were breathless, your socked covered toes curling.

"Good night." He said when he pulled away, then added on, "For real this time."

You laughed a little, feeling so ridiculously happy. You wondered if you could combust from it.

"Text me when you get home." You blurted, still catching your breath.

"Promise." He nodded, licking his lips. You leaned forward to peck them one last time. For now.

You laughed again, practically vibrating with giddiness as you closed the door for a second and final time.

***

AUTHOR'S NOTE: !!this is not the end!! *pouts* Tumblr told me that I filled all of my 250 boxes, so I have to split it. It's like my fic duet all over again. *le sigh* Idek how people write 12K fics and still fit it in.

part two

[fangirlings-things]

He's just too much — Part. 3

A/N: hey guuuys, thank you for all the positive feedback on the previous chapter and I'm sorry for the waiting, but here I am finally with chapter 3!!! I'm thinking about doing a final part 4 so, as usual, let me know what you think

Pairings: Michael Gray x reader

Warnings: a few curse words, mentions of smut

Summary: Michael Gray is just too much for (Y/N) to not fall in love with him

Word count: 1913

Part. 1 Part.2 Part. 4

"Here" Tommy poured a glass of whiskey and gave it to you, watching with his eyebrows raised while you drank all the liquid in a matter of seconds and returned the glass to him, to be filled again, not even flinching by the strong taste. "Wanna tell me what's going on, (Y/N)?" the dark haired then asked, turning around to refill your drink. 

"I'm fucking stupid, that's what's going on" you said with your eyes fixed on the floor, while passing your fingers on the arm of the chair you had seated on as soon as you both had walked into that room of his house and he closed the door behind you two. 

Tommy sighted, then turned around and gave you the glass of whiskey again. While he saw you take this time only a sip, he knealed in front of you so that your eyes were on the same height. He inspected your face little by little, searching for the answers he wanted there, because he most times sucessed using that strategy. He knew you extremely well; maybe more than anyone else. You realized what he was thinking by the narrowing of his eyes and sighting, you tried to force a smile for him. 

"Everything's fine, Tommy. No need to worry about" you said, trying to hide your lie by taking another sip from the whiskey that had been burning your throat. It still burned less than the words that left your mouth during your argument with Michael. Suddenly you wondered what he had done. Was he still in the corridor you and Tommy had left him? Did he got back to the party and to that blonde girl? It was better, if you didn't knew. 

"You were crying, (Y/N). You never cry in public. And I always worry about you" he stated, touching your face with his right hand softly and you couldn't help but lean in to that touch that was always so comfortable. "It's something about Michael, isn't it?" he asked, and you felt your heart skip a beat on your chest. He noticed the shocking in your expression, then got up and walked to the chair that was in front of yours. Sitting down, he gave you a little smirk. "By the way you were arguing, anyone could see that you two had unfinished business"

"Great, I ruined your event with my screaming" you said before finishing the content of your glass again. Embarrassment took a hold of you, as well as guilt. Tommy had worked so hard for making that happen and you threw his work in the trash. 

"You didn't, it's everything ok. Polly is hosting the whole thing while I'm with you" he said and you felt relief fill every inch of you. You had ruined your night while screaming like that, not Tommy's. "And I think that deep down, the guests were kinda expecting a scene like that. After all..." 

"We are the Peaky fucking Blinders" you completed his phrase and he gave you a nod in agreement. You both set in there quietly for a few minutes that seemed like hours and after giving it some thought you realized that after all Tommy, was your best friend. He was the one you always could talk to about anything and everything. You loved him and if you lost him someday, it would break you so hard that you doubted that you would ever be able to rebuild. Saying to yourself that you owned him some explanation, you decided to tell him the truth. "You're right. About Michael. He's the reason I was... crying"

"Did he hurt you?" Tommy's voice was low and controled, but the threat behind it could easily be noticed. 

"Yes" you said with a laugh empty of any humor, playing distractedly with the glass that was still in your hands. You saw the way Tommy's expression had gotten immediately dangerous and you took a deep breath. "I mean, he didn't. Not physically anyway" getting up, you walked to the wooden stable that was on the center of the room and put the glass upon it. You heard footsteps and when you turned around, you saw the black haired man staring at you completely serious. 

"(Y/N) you have five minutes to tell me exactly what happened before I go downstairs and beat the shit out of Michael" he stated firmly and as much as you were angry at Michael and wanted him to feel some of the pain he had caused you, you knew that it wouldn't be fair to do that. 

"I like him, okay?" you said hesitantly, staring at Tommy who didn't move or said anything. You frowered your forehead at him. "You're not surprised?" 

"Your not as difficult to read as you think, (Y/N). For quite some time I have been noticing the way you acted around him; how you fancied the guy" Tommy admitted, and you felt ridiculous. It must have looked like you were completely stupid for liking someone who didn't gave a shit about you. You wished that no one else had noticed. 

"Well, even if the whole fucking neighborhood knew about how I felt, Michael didn't. He never realized, I guess anyway. So when I went to talk to Polly the other day about some advice..."

"You asked the mother of the guy you like for advice?" Tommy raised his eyebrows, momentarily seeming to forget the seriousness of the conversation and looking confused. 

"Don't judge me, I was desperate!" you replied, feeling extremely uncomfortable in your dress, like it was suffocating you. Add this with your hurt and anger, you almost wanted to rip out your own skin. "This stupid shit!" you screamed losing control and started taking off the dress angrily. 

"Ahn... (Y/N)?" Tommy kept his eyebrows raised, watching as you got completely out of of your dress and threw it away with your left hand. 

"What?" you putted your hands on your hips, now wearing only a bra and panties along with your high heels. Out of that black piece of clothing, you already felt better. Your mental state must have scared Tommy, because he didn't say more. And the fact that your relationship was so strong and genuine, didn't even made you bother about being almost naked in front of him. "Look Tommy, not much happened. Polly wasn't there in that night. Michael was. He kissed me and then left. And today, he kissed a rich blonde girl and I got pissed so that's why I was crying"

"Have you tried to speak to him?" Tommy seemed less stressed now, that he knew that Michael's actions weren't perverted or evil towards you. 

"What you saw down there is our way of trying to speak" you said sadly, because you knew that Tommy was right. The attempts of talking to each other normally had gone extremely wrong and if you guys could get to an agreement, to an understatement about not interfering in each other's lives anymore, maybe you both could move on. Even if you secretly didn't want to. 

"It'll be ok, little one. I promise" Tommy's voice was gentle and you were able to smile after hearing those words. 

"You know you can't promise me that. But thanks anyway, Tommy" you saw him looking back at you with a smile too on his lips and when a cold breeze entered the room through the nearest open window, you shivered. "Give me your suit"

"I knew you would ask me that" he laughed and then took off his suit, putting it on your shoulders next. Instantly, you felt warmer and safer. "I'll tell the maids to arrange a room for you to spend the night, ok?" you nodded and then after hugging you tightly for a minute he left, closing the door behind him. 

Alone for the first time since your argument with Michael, you thought about your words. His words. The hurt in his face. The sadness you thought that took a hold of your own features. In a twisted way, you had liked the fact that you two actually talked. Or tried to before starting to yelling. If things were more simple, you maybe could have a chance. Maybe. 

You were practically asleep when you heard knocking on the front door of your apartment. Even though it could be a strange thing to someone to be at your door on the middle of the night, it had happened before. Maybe Arthur had gotten drunk and your place was the nearest he could get to before passing out or maybe, Jon had a fight with Esme and wanted to crash in your home for the night. 

Wondering what of those things would be the one, you got up from your bed and walked to the front door wearing only your nightshirt. You opened the door and your eyes instantly widened when you saw Michael Gray standing on the corridor of the building, his eyes immediately fixing on your eyes. 

It had been five days since the whole argument in Tommy's house and since then, you hadn't seen each other. You took those days to think, to set your head in place and try to assimilate the fact that you wouldn't have him because he didn't want you. Simple as that. But now he was at your door, and all the emotions came rushing back like a hurricane. 

"What do you want?" your voice got out harsh, and your hand was gripping at the door firmly. You felt tempted to just shut it right on his face. His stupid beautiful face. You held back that urge though, accepting the possibility that he could be there for bussiness. 

"We need to talk" he replied, jaw clenched. The shadow of frustration could be seen on his features and it got you intrigued. 

"About?" you questioned, raising your eyebrows at him with that same harsh tone on your voice. 

"Don't play dumb, (Y/N). We need to speak about... us" he hesitated but completed his statement, taking his eyes out of you for only a second before turning them back at you. 

You couldn't help. You laughed. A genuine loud laugh that made him blush from embarrassment and something else. As soon as you were able to stop laughing, you gave him a serious look. "There is no us, Michael. And it's fun that in less than a week I got from bitch to dumb. Think I'm making progress on your raking" and with that you tried to close the door, but he pushed it with his hand and gave you the most fierce look he ever did. 

"Don't you close this door. We need to speak" he held it open. There were so many emotions expressed on his face at the same time that you couldn't even identify them. 

"What do you wanna say? You're planning on telling me how you fucked that blonde after the event? How she's perfect for you?" the irony was clear in your words and that made him lost control. 

With a hard push he opened completely the door and then got in your apartment, shutting it with a kick of his right foot. The door bang and you took a deep breath as he walked in your direction and stopped millimeters away. His breath on your face was hot and his smell of cigarettes and cologne never seemed so dangerous and so good.

"Now, we are going to talk"

[welcometocaritas]

‘IF YOU LOVE ME, DON’T LET GO’

Chapter: 3/7

Characters: Yumiko & Magna

Pairing: Yumagna

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Format: Multi-Chap

Summary:  At some point, you just have to let go - or so Yumiko keeps telling herself. There was never any letting go of Magna.

Links: A03, FF.NET, Wattpad

A/N: Oh my god, this chapter was such a bitch to write. The words did not flow right all, it’s so clumsy. So huge apology in advance.

TW: there's a brief mention of drug overdose in this chapter

"For a long time after his rescue, Buck did not like Thornton to get out of his sight. From the moment he left the tent to when he entered it again, Buck would follow at his heels. His transient masters since he had come into the Northland had bred in him a fear that no master could be permanent. He was afraid that Thornton would pass out of his life as Perrault and Francois and the Scotch half-breed had passed out. Even in the night, in his dreams, he was haunted by this fear. At such times he would shake off sleep and creep through the chill to the flap of the tent, where he would stand and listen to the sound of his master's breathing."

- The Call of the Wild by Jack London

. . .

Magna had never been good at romantic relationships. They were too . . . messy. Too complicated. Too many ways for things to go wrong. She and Miko hadn't even been together for a year and it was still the longest any of her relationships - if you could even call them that - had lasted. In a way, she'd been waiting for it to fall apart from the moment it started.

Friendship, she could do. She knew how to be a friend. She knew better how to deal with those expectations.

But the way that sometimes she felt like she couldn't breathe when Miko was away from her, the punch of air back into her lungs when they touched, the constant need ...

She didn't know how to deal with that. Wasn't comfortable with dealing with that. Or that ever present fear at the back of her mind - what would she do if one day Miko went away and never came back?

(She wondered if her mother had felt this way about her father once; recoiled)

It was illogical, but a part of her hoped that if she could just put a little distance between them, if she could push them back over that line they'd dared to cross, then maybe it wouldn't hurt as much when she finally lost her.

Stupid.

She suspected she would always feel this way about Yumiko, whether they were friends or lovers . . . or even if one day they became strangers to each other. Her heart wasn't good at letting people go. It was hard to find a way in, but once someone did . . .they never left. And maybe she resented Miko for how deeply she'd buried herself. But Magna had let her do it. Miko hadn't forced her way in - she wouldn't - she didn't have to. She had kept to the edges patiently until slowly, inch by inch, Magna had opened the door for her.

She had been the first person she'd learnt to trust again after prison. In truth, she'd made it possible for her to go on to trust others. Connie, Kelly and Luke - hell even Bernie - hadn't had to wait nearly as long. She was still unsure if that was a good or a bad thing. Whether it made her weaker or stronger. It certainly provided her with more to lose, more room for betrayal.

But it did make life easier to bear in a way.

Gave her a reason to be.

She'd grown up looking after her brother and cousins. In prison and after, she'd floundered somewhat without that purpose. When they'd formed their group, which had been so much larger than it eventually became, she'd fallen back into her old role.

She'd found that purpose again.

But just as she'd failed to protect her cousin, she'd also failed to protect Bernie and Connie, and everyone else in their group who had fallen over the years. The people who Magna hadn't known quite as well or been nearly as attached to but still felt responsible for.

There'd been one child. Sarah. Twelve years old. She'd entered their group only briefly - had left it, first, after one single tiny inconsequential bite; and, finally, at end of Magna's knife. Like Maisie, she was a black hole in her memory that she took care to shy away from, lest she fall in.

Or what might have become of her remaining cousins, who she hadn't seen since before the outbreak. Her brother had overdosed at the beginning of her third year in prison - she still blamed herself for not being there to stop him - and she couldn't decide if that was better or worse: surviving like they were, or dying before you were forced to see what became of the world and humanity. Morgan had never been good with violence. Had closed his eyes during fight scenes on TV, whilst she pulled on his hair teasingly and stole popcorn from his unprotected lap. He wouldn't have made it here. Or if he had, he would have hated himself for it.

He wouldn't have been able to live with murder. Not like Magna.

He'd never even visited her in prison.

It wasn't . . . anger, or revulsion. He just hadn't been able to face what she'd done, to align it with the memories he'd had of the girl who'd taught him to tie his shoelaces and how to make daisy chains.

(and perhaps the memory of the fight they'd had after Maisie had died - the only fight they'd ever had, in which Magna had completely lost it at him for ditching the child he was supposed to be babysitting because the girl he'd had a crush on for the last three months had called him up at the last second to invite him to come around - had also kept him away, kept him distant. Even now, so many years later, she was still a mess of resentment for that, and haunted by the guilt and regret of throwing it in his face, for never apologizing, for never hugging him after that point and . . .)

In truth: she hadn't wanted him to come, to see her in that place. She didn't know what to say to him. What could she say? That she was sorry? She wasn't. She didn't even regret it. It would have been too much of a struggle for him to wrap his head around.

Like Miko, he'd had a firm sense of right and wrong; a rigid morality.

Magna had always been far more flexible with hers. She didn't mind the grey areas, the places people were scared to look at too long. They made sense to her, in a way black and white never could.

. . .

"I told her once I wasn't good at anything. She told me survival is a talent."

― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted

. . .

( 'We could've taken those walkers.'

'We had a split-second decision to make-'

'You made the decision.'

'Look, when shit hits the fan, somebody's got to step up.

So, yeah, I listen to what everybody has to say, I weigh it all up- '

'And then you do what you were gonna do anyway.'

'Where the hell is all of this coming from?'

'You're not my lawyer anymore.')

At the back of her mind, there'd always been a part of her that worried that Miko felt responsible for her. It was the only thing that made sense as to why she'd chosen to stick around, even before the world ended. Why she would bully Magna into weekly coffee dates and used up most of her petrol constantly visiting the truck stop just so she could keep her company during her shifts - and prevent her from losing her mind to boredom, which had been an ever growing possibility before Yumiko had taken to showing up regularly.

She was a do-gooder; Magna had surmised that almost within their first thirty minutes of meeting.

When she'd gotten out of prison, she'd noticed how Miko's house was never quite clean of the overabundance of dog and cat hairs from the stray animals she couldn't seem to stop herself from collecting. She took cases on pro bono and in the nearly three years Magna had known her, had spent every Christmas volunteering at a soup kitchen - something she only knew about because her mother had called up Magna during her first Christmas on the outside to try and get her to talk Miko into spending the holidays at home; and of course 'Yumi' could bring her new friend along, because Magna worked far too hard and wasn't it just the cruelest thing to make an old woman (Yumiko's mother was only forty-five) spend the night alone in her old, empty apartment and, well, she listened to Magna you see . . . Magna had quickly agreed and hung up before Yumiko's mother tried to adopt her on the chance that her daughter might visit more if her childhood home grew to contain one disgruntled young ex-con with far too many tattoos for such a 'beautiful girl' like her - and she'd been already getting cabin fever just by speaking on the phone to Miss Nakamura.

It had been somewhat frustrating to realize the older woman was right when Miko caved within a minute of Magna trying to convince her to spend Christmas with her mother, on the condition that she came along to (the outbreak had saved Magna from having to make good on that deal, something that over the years she'd actually grown to find somewhat regrettable, if only because it would have been nice to have another memory of Miko being happy to look back on).

The fact of the matter was, though, that when someone was in trouble, Yumiko couldn't keep herself away. It was exasperating (and endearing).

Magna might have rolled her eyes - because she had a hard time believing anyone would do something for nothing, for no more reason than that they wanted to help, in any way they could - except she knew Miko and she knew it was genuine. That it wasn't just a way to make herself look better, or to fluff up her ego with the knowledge of how good she was. She did it because she cared, because she couldn't do nothing when there was an option of doing something.

So she'd saved the younger woman from prison, found an apartment block that wasn't too expensive or degraded, and helped her get a job when all Magna had been faced with were rejections.

And if she hadn't needed help, to be looked after in the beginning, she wondered if Miko would have even bothered to keep in contact. Because, really, what else was there to attract a talented lawyer from an upper middle class family to a high school drop-out only recently out of prison, who at that point could aspire to little more than working all-night shifts at a seedy truck stop?

It was a question that had kept Magna up at nights, made the weight of Miko's head on her chest almost suffocating.

The apocalypse had changed things, yes. Suddenly, Magna's prison experience and history of getting into fist fights was useful. Her distrustful nature and, at times, questionable morality were the kind of personality traits that might just keep you alive in this hellhole. She didn't need to be good at maths or literature or humanities. Magna could knock a man three times her weight flat on his back the second things turned sideways and still have enough stamina to take on another, and another.

So, she could understand, then, why Yumiko had stuck by her after civilization fell. She didn't question that.

But Miko liked to control things, to know that everything was in its place and everyone was alright, everyone was safe -and in some ways that extended to Magna.

Yumiko had graduated top of her class - both from high school and law school - and, whether she realized it or not, had gotten used to being the smartest person in the room, the most level-headed. She'd never admit to it openly but Magna knew that a lot of the time she thought she knew best - and a lot of the time she did. But it could make Magna feel like such an idiot, sometimes, in her presence.

(like back when they'd been going over trial strategies all those years ago and Yumiko had listened patiently to every idea Magna threw at her, only to later reject them all anyway and that was okay, because Magna was the prisoner and Yumiko was the lawyer and she'd already fucked this up for herself once but that was then, and this was now and-)

She would inwardly - and all too often outwardly - bristle and fume, stalking off before Yumiko had a chance to stop her, before she had to look a second longer at that confused and worried - and hurt - face.

Because Magna wasn't an idiot.

She wasn't smart, not the kind of smart that Miko was, that the other kids at school were, and in the way the teachers wanted her to be, but she knew things. She knew how to survive. To survive in a world that didn't and never had wanted her.

And if Miko didn't realize that - if, even after all these years, she could look upon Magna the same way her aunt had, her brother had, every fucking school teacher that had ever shaken their head and sighed at a lost cause had; that very same pity and defeat that had come to rest upon her lawyer's face within only fifteen minutes of meeting . . . all that condescension and exasperation and disappointment-

If she looked at her like that, thought of her in that way, then why the hell would Miko want to be with her in the first place? What would keep her from moving on to someone else, someone smarter, less impulsive, less of a handful . . . someone better?

Just because she hadn't already didn't mean she never would. It wasn't like they had been spoiled for choice over the last ten years, there weren't a lot of viable dating candidates in the middle of the apocalypse - especially if you were a lesbian. Or, at least, that had been the case until they'd encountered Alexandria; until they'd moved into Hilltop, and traveled down to Oceanside for fortnightly training routines; until they'd been suddenly surrounded by so many people, so many smart and stable and kind people, many of them with only half as many issues as Magna, even less of them possessing her caustic attitude and liability to fuck things up.

Eventually, Yumiko would start to notice, start to look, start to wonder . . . and then she would be gone.

Except . . . they had been living at Hilltop for a year and the only time Yumiko had looked like she was even considering walking away was when Magna had forced her to. And even that hadn't been enough to make her leave, not really.

Even that hadn't stopped Miko from latching onto her after she stepped out of the horde, from looking at her like she'd just arrived with a gallon of water for someone who'd been lost in a desert for weeks. It hadn't stopped her from holding onto Magna, minutes, hours later, even after she was assured of her well-being.

She didn't look at her like a stray dog that pity had forced her to take in and which she now couldn't get rid of. She didn't blame Magna for not having Connie with her, for not being good enough and capable enough to save her - even though she had to know it was her fault; because she'd had Connie, she'd had her hand in hers, and she'd just . . . let it slip away.

She'd let her down. Just like she'd let Bernie down. And her brother and-and . . . Maisie.

She let everyone down.

Her own mother had gone to prison because Magna had been too scared to testify in court, to convince a jury that it wasn't her fault, that she was good, that she'd only been trying to stop her husband from thrusting that broken beer bottle at her daughter's face after Magna had accidentally knocked three coronas to the floor.

She let Miko down.

She'd lied to her for thirteen years and she'd convinced herself that she was doing it for both of them, that she was only saving the woman from a pain she didn't have to experience, she was keeping her close, where Magna could keep her alive, keep her safe . . .

But she knew, deep down, from the very beginning, that the only person she was protecting was herself.

And she didn't even do that right.

But Miko had punched Carol in the face - Yumiko had punched someone, calm level-headed Miko who thought violence was a fool's weapon when you could achieve something just by talking, and had made a living out of doing exactly that - she'd punched someone, for Magna, and demanded that they beg her forgiveness. And she'd never seen her so furious, so reckless, so willing to make an enemy out of someone when it would gain her nothing.

And she had done it all for Magna.

And, somehow, that sight had terrified her more than the thought of Miko walking away ever had.

(She hears the squelch as the knife sinks in, feels the unexpected spray of blood against her teenage face - hears the shot, the weight of a body collapsing on her, sees Miko's horrified face-)

Because she'd realized then, that all her suspicions, all her fears . . . they were nothing, they'd been for nothing. Because she'd understood then that Miko would never walk away, not from her. No matter what she did, what she'd done . . .

She may still doubt it, sometimes, may always doubt it because that was what Magna did - she doubted things . . .

But now she knew.

She knew Yumiko loved her. Would always love her.

And Magna had never wanted to run away faster in her life.

Because the only time Yumiko had looked at her like she'd let her down was that night in their room, when she'd pulled the rug out from under her, obliterating thirteen years of blind trust.

She had already hurt her once. And if she loved Magna as much as she loved Miko, then there was no telling the kind of pain she could cause her. She could break Miko's heart - more than break, she could destroy it - and she wasn't sure she trusted herself not to; to not ruin the only good thing that had ever happened to her.

. . .

"I wonder if I will ever have the strength to hold onto something. Or if I will always be someone who destroys."

― Ally Condie, Matched

  >

A/N: Thanks so much for sticking with this story. I would really appreciate if you commented and let me know what you think about how things are going so far, what you like or don’t like. I’m working really hard on this and it would be a huge deal to me.

In other news, I have the idea for two sequel oneshots to this now. One of them fluffy, the other a little bit less so but not as angsty as this either.

[askthechaoticwitch]

➡ @xmalfoydracox ⬅

As he waited for her to respond, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t gonna like what she had to say. Arching an eyebrow at her words as he crossed his arms over his chest, a soft huff escaping his throat as definitely knew now that what she was gonna say he wasn’t gonna like. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you purposely be mean to anyone, well besides when purposely swore to get revenge on your parents murderers but that is understandable.” He mused out with a shrug, it was true he honestly didn’t think they female had a mean bone in her body. The one that was mean out of the both of them was him, so for her to be the one that’s gonna to be mean felt odd. Though he could tell she was a bit antsy to do so by the way she played with her sweater, he wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to explain herself but he needed to know why so he kept quiet.

He couldn’t help but to snicker when he heard her call him wonderful, he was far from being wonderful. Though he pressed his lips together when she used the word friend, were they still friends? He hadn’t thought so moments before running into her, so her to confirm they still were made him feel relieved and happy. Though that happiness disintegrated quickly as he continued to listen to her words, a sigh escaping his throat as he shifted quickly. She did realize that Draco had been just as bad, that he had been nothing but a bully? Sure he mellowed out a lot but it doesn’t change the fact he was horrible, now he was worst than just a bully - he was a death eater. However he hadn’t really bullied anyone much of lately, he just hasn’t been in the mood and plus he’s been focus on trying to make a relationship work and trying to succeed with his mission.

Unfortunately he couldn’t control what Pansy did when they weren’t near each but still he wished she’d grow up just a tad bit, normally he’d look pass it all as long as she wasn’t being two face about him but he could tell it was getting to the female. Oh she definitely had a heart of gold, it was something he hoped she’ll never lose. “That doesn’t surprise me, she can be quite a bitch when she isn’t distracted with me. Do I even want to know what she did to cause the boy to end up in the hospital wing? I know how much it bothers you and some others, I also know how cruel that name is. I’ve called Granger one plenty of times, hell I’ve witnessed her cry over it. It vile but I don’t think anyone who has quite a distaste for muggleborns will stop using it anytime soon unfortunately, tho being called mudblood will be the least of the muggleborns concern if the dark lord takes over.” He spoke in a low tone, annoyance slipping through the seams of his words. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with any drama but it looked like this year was full of it, maybe he should have stayed single.

The moment he heard what she said next, he couldn’t help but to pinch the bridge of his nose. Did he really know who Pansy was? He thought he did but he could be wrong. Honestly come to think of it, most of his friends where his friends because it was convent for him at the time. Now he sticks with them because they’re all he has, well minus Maximoff. Another snicker escaped his throat as she continued to speak, she thought he deserved all that? Boy was she wrong, he deserved none of that. Especially if she knew his secret, hell he was pretty sure she’d learn to hate him. Why would she want to be friends with a death eater, especially when death eaters killed her parents? Hell let alone he was suppose to something completely worst than what Parkinson was doing, he definitely doubted she’d continue to believe any of her own words - not that he could blame her.

And then all of a sudden she dropped a bomb on him causing him to freeze, he couldn’t stop the look of pure heartbreak that crept upon his facial features in that moment. She loved him of all people? Why? Why him of all people? He didn’t deserve it, not one little bit. She however deserved the best and that definitely wasn’t him. “I- What?” Draco muttered out as he tried to form words to respond with, however it was as if he was chocking on any words that dared to even form within him. She had caught him so off guard that he was a mess, well he was already a mess but this was the first time he was allowing her to see him this way and he didn’t exactly like it one bit. He was just powerless to control it right now, which he would kick himself for later.

By the time he was able to regain control of himself once again, she was walking away from. He mentally cussed himself out as he ran after her, she couldn’t just do that then walk away as if nothing just happened. Uh huh, that wasn’t fair so as soon as he caught up to her he grabbed her wrist and held onto her til she looked at him once again. “I probably don’t know who she really is, I’d like to think that I do but I could be wrong. As I said I know she can be quite a bitch but as long as she has been two face about me, I simply just shrug it off. I probably shouldn’t but I do, I will talk to her about it though. However we need to discuss the whole you being in love with me.” Malfoy mused out as he felt the wetness against the palm of his hand, he knew right then and there that she had been crying or it seemed to be that way.

Wanda heard Draco running towards her, but ignored it and kept walking, determined to not discuss the situation. However, when he grabbed her wrist, she had no other choice but to face him, to look into those eyes who had captivated her heart.

She sniffled softly, wiping away some tears with her sleeve as she said "Look, there's nothing to talk about. It's my fault I dropped this off onto you out of nowhere, it wasn't fair nor appropriate of me to do so. However..." the brunette took a breath, finally brave enough to state her opinion. "What I said is true - I really think you're a good person. Unlike that... "bitch" as you called her, you do have a loving heart and actually regret your past actions. You were taught all the wrong and cruel ways but as your friend I'm supposed to guide you to the right path."

The girl took her friend's hands in his, a faint smile gracing her features for the first time in a long time. "You deserve do grow in a healthy environment and to meet kind people... I'm afraid Pansy isn't the type of partner you'd have a great future with. I'm sure there are many trustworthy, loving people out there who would be glad to share the rest of their life with you once they get to know you like I do."

Her smile faded in an instant but she kept composure and continued "Look, forget what I told you about my... you know. That special someone you'll date doesn't even have to be me. In fact, I encourage you to find someone else. This thing, you and me, could never happen, you don't even love me like that in the first place. But that's alright, I can manage to deal with my... problem. I'm sure it will pass after awhile, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't love you as much as now."

Wanda had calmed down by then, but worry was peeking through her chocolate brown eyes. Draco was still with her and she finally had the chance to ask him about something she had wanted to discuss with him for quite a long time. Other people might have not really noticed how the Slytherin had changed, but the Gryffindor effortlessly did so. The girl knew it'd be good to give him privacy and let him talk to her when he's ready, but long time had passed and she couldn't stand seeing him hurting so she decided to be the one to bring up the topic first.

She began to speak in a soft yet firm tone of voice, his name rolling off her tongue lovingly "Draco, dear, I can see the past few months have been rough to you. You haven't mentioned anything about it, but I can clearly notice there's something bothering you, a burden on your shoulders."

Wanda moved closer to the boy and gently touched his cheekbones and cheeks, examining him. Her heart began to ache horribly as she saw in what miserable state he was in. "I see you're not fine at all and it hurts me. There are dark circles under your eyes, you skin is more pale than usual, you often seem exhausted as if you rarely get sleep, you barely eat and your eyes... your eyes are empty. I need you to tell me what is going on. Why are you so busy all the time that you stopped taking care of yourself? What's troubling you?"

Wanda knew Draco was the kind of person to deny her words and to refuse to get help. That's why before letting him speak again, she kissed the ghostly white knuckles of his hand and added "Just know that whatever the reason might be, it could never make me stop loving you or love you any less. I've trusted you before, now I need you to trust me with what you're going through. I can handle it."