#NOOOOO I FORGOT HIS FRECKLES

[franken-loser]

Some valentines clervalstein art :333

[sonicexelle-junkary]

his freckles are gone! his tooth gap is gone! this is an imposter! either that, or they truly WERE FAKE all along!

NOOOOO!!! I FORGOT HIS STUPID ASS QUIRKY FRECKLES AND TOOTH GAP! IM A FAKE FAN! FUUUUUUCK!!!!

[czarcaustic]

thoughts on AOS while I watch AOS for the first time (THERE WILL BE SLANDER)

wow this movie is really butch right off the bat... so much action... so much dousing of every corner of the film in shadow

this couple said "Tiberius is a bad name but naming my 2 second old infant son JIM sounds good" assigned 60 year old man at birth

jim almost going over the cliff... gotta hit every movie cliche -_- also what's with the giant rift on the flat plains of Iowa

BABY SPOOOOCK HIS LITTLE FRECKLES oh noooo

"he has human eyes" omg :'(

WINONA RYDER?

zachary quinto's voice has uuuh... no gravitas, I'm sorry guys. he just does not sound like spock to me

oh lord no, jim.... ssshut up and leave uhura alone!!! this movie is such a product of the 2000s.... cool guy main character bothers a woman as flirtation

omg I am hating the dynamic of Uhura as Cool Popular Girl all these random bros feel the need to jump in and defend because she's so hot? my accidental posse I developed by virtue of being Too Hot

kirk grabbing her boobs... wow this movie is so much worse than I thought it would be. I forgot the 2000s was this sexist, which is crazy because I lived it.

"a peacekeeping armada" bro that's just a "woke" way to say military

ok Bones is pretty good

nooooo why is Jim such a pervert freak

- not only did you violate ze RUles - twirls evil moustache-

Oh I REALLY like this Bones

the sounds the enterprise doors make omg it's like a mouse farting -shoop!-

wha- the computer didn't understand chekov's voice??? couldn't he have just spoken russian ??? what is the motivation for speaking english in the world of the universal translator

ok I assume this is like "ahaha imagine if a person had an accent" humour like man... that joke was already overplayed back then

Spock talks like an evil cat

Nero saying "Hulloh!" so casual when being hailed. Hey guys, how's it hangin'?

sksksk Sulu being like yes sir I have hand to hand combat training like yeah boy, I bet you do

"Kirk you're not cleared to be on this mission and should be at home, that's why I'm selecting you as the person I'll send on an even deadlier mission" make it make sense

that's like a head surgeon being like oh ok since you're not cleared to be in the surgery room why don't you just step up here and help me perform the surgery

Kirk's smirk at Spock when Pike gives him XO..... SHUT UP I HATE YOU NASTY MAN

Chris Pine always looks like he's hiding ice cubes in his cheeks

ngl this movie is boring as fuck

Pike is similar to SNW Pike, if you took everything interesting about Anson Mount's Pike and threw it away

omg what?!? what's with the bit where the guy is having too much fun laughing and being jolly to pull his parachute lmao

omg not a hanging off the edge of a cliff scene AGAIN, I can't take this

it's cute having Chekhov accidentally call Spock Commander instead of Captain

Chekov is a gamer, he can lock on

aw he's so cute.

"enah-jyyyzzze" Spock says while popping a squat... wow he's so gay

Vulcan getting sucked into the black hole really looks like a butthole

ok not to do with the movie but I accidentally just wrote "Vulvan"

Spock: ok guys just gonna record my very personal diary right in the middle of the bridge DON'T FOLLOW ME OUT WHEN I STORM OFF IN A DRAMATIC WAY

oh no Uhura's the best girlfriend

wahahaha tying my enemy up on a big slab and shining a light directly in his face and calling him by his first name, hey wait a moment do you guys hear Ghenghis Khan playing

not Spock quoting that Sherlock Holmes bit about the impossible I thought you were supposed to value logic

good arguing between Kirk and Spock though

did Spock just fucking drop Kirk on an inhospitable planet?!?!

oh my fucking god he's evil!

he really said it is logical to straight up kill this man rather than sedate him ok mr megalomaniac

oh nooo jim crying from spock prime's emotional transference, they have so much chemistry

"so you do feel" ok kirk your spock is like, the most emotional young spock of all, he wears his emotions on his sleeve

I love you bug-eyed alien friend of Scotty's

Scotty's whole shindig would hit harder if every person in this movie wasn't like ohhoho I'm the best guy ever at the thing I do within the span of like, a day

Spock Prime saying he learned to cheat by fucking with timelines from Jim, ah yes you love to see it

oh no Scotty got Charlie and The Chocolate Factoried

Spock being one of the antagonists of this movie is so funny

this fight is cringe.....

the little end intercom sound is the exact same starting note as MGMT's Kids

JIM YOU MADE SPOCK LOOK REALLY BAD IN FRONT OF HIS DAD!!!!!

"omg hiii, are we having a weird voyeurism moment in the transport bay?"

"I want Spock dead NOW!" child demands ice cream

OMG THIRD TIME JIM IS DANGLING BY HIS HANDS OFF A CLIFF, c'mon guys these moments are not good enough to demand the rule of threes

the parallel of Spock taking George Kirk's place as the self-destruct pilot - all to save his beautiful wife... Christopher Pike

Spock Prime just being like ah fuck it I'm not worried about Time Fuckery actually... I just needed to make sure you were gonna learn to love Kirk. we respect him for that

imagine if your future self was like hey I decided I don't care about temporal directives so I'm choosing to meet you but I did care so much about you learning to love and trust my best friend that I set up a scenario which would trauma bond the two of you to ensure you'd be friends and you're just like oh yeah I guess that's a normal situation to have with your platonic bro

Kirk got Captaincy of the Enterprise through uuuh... committing mutiny to save the ship, they were just like yeah ok I guess we'll give this ship to you now instead of it being like, an experience based thing. imagine if that's how it worked in real life.

in conclusion it just ain't my beloved SNW

[crossbackpoke-check]

Bords fake smile is so obvious. Its that one.

a thorough investigation of thomas bordeleau’s smile so that i do not fall asleep on my breaks at work today

^^^ my sleep paralysis demon keeping me awake

research question: is thom’s fake smile crooked? is his real smile crooked? is he bad at posing in photos he himself does not take?

1. we are starting with photos of thom i already have on my phone, the number of which is probably going to be embarrassing but i can only have 10 on a post at a time. hopefully i don’t have more than that

this was easier than i thought because i forgot i had video of thom being giggly & embarrassed by podcast hosts—for sure a real smile, for sure real crooked. woof ✊😔

however i feel like this is cheating because the original smile in question was photographed, which leads me to:

2. more photos of borde on my phone

are you only showing half your mouth because the other half is crooked? this is the start of the evidence that borde is incredibly particular about angles & very aware of what he looks like on camera

real hot girls have italian summer boyfriends 😜 crooked smile is in full display but we don’t get the full eye crinkle—obviously a posed photo but likely caught in the middle of actually smiling and being happy, so the pearly whites are out [also: real wh*res wear their necklaces so that the pendant sits in the divot of their collarbone. speaking from experience bords i’m gonna ki** you]

more italian summer boyfriend posting, increasingly more photo op posed, evidenced by the closed mouth smile. this is the most relatable picture of him i have ever seen because i too am gay and do not know how to pose without throwing up a ✌️and awkwardly smiling without my teeth when forced to take a picture. unfortunately i don’t have an italian summer boyfriend wearing little white short shorts to gently touch elbows with :(

this is not a smile but it’s still crooked and i’m mad about it, and i also am 99% sure i saved this for matty looking good in the background before i even cared about thom but now that i’m unhinged this is good arm tattoo content (have been wondering about the little one on his left arm, clearly says “faith” here) and nose scar? scratch? freckle? it’s endearing 😡

3. this is still just more photos from my phone but i can’t have a list with two things on it so we’re all pretending like this is a valid bullet point

blanks my adopted blorbo 🥺🥺 this is a photo caught in motion of bords really smiling, unaware of the camera, which i’m using as evidence to say that thom real smiles w/ teeth. he looks overjoyed to see blanks & i can’t fault him (we are not discussing the kj tag now)

4. I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING TO GOOGLE SO I CAN STOP SCROLLING THROUGH MY CAMERA ROLL

thom looks like he inherited half of his mouth from his dad and half of it from his mom split down the middle (please see the chart)

assuming that this is baby thom, the smile has forever been tilted which is possibly even worse than the formation of a habit or a slant caused by injury or like. dip lip. nooooo borde has ALWAYS been like this

to conclude: i forgot what the question was but now you have a ??? masterpost ??? of borde’s crooked mouth 🤧

[fluffy0nions]

Untitled 07.01.2020 - Minsung

Pairing; Lee Minho x Han Jisung

Group; Stray Kids

Genre; Fluff, Comedy

Word count; 1336

Notes; too lazy to spell and grammar check so sorry for any spelling mistakes oop-

“Why are we here again?” Jisung asked with an unamused expression, already feeling the social energy of the bowling alley they just walked into exhausting.

“Because I want you to meet my new boyfriend, Chan. Remember?” Felix looked over at his friend, annoyed to see him zoning out to something on his phone. “Are paying attention to anything I’m saying!?”

“I think your hair looks fine.” Jisung replied flatly before the latter snatched the phone out of his hand, making him whip his head around so fast to Felix his neck nearly snapped. “Hey, gimme that back you little bi-“

“Hi, Felix!” A bright voice interrupted, both boys looking to see who it was. Felix’s face lit up when he saw it was his boyfriend, Chan.

“Hey babe!” Felix gave him a peck and a hug, which made Jisung visibly gag. “Chan, this is my bestie, Jisung! The guy I’ve been telling you about!”

“Oh, yeah! The guy that got chased by a turkey at the wildlife park!” Chan smiled before Felix kicked him in the shin, signalling him to shut the hell up.

“Yep, that’s me...” Jisung trailed off awkwardly. He was about to properly introduce himself when someone cleared their throat quite loudly.

“Oh! I almost forgot! I bought a friend, too, so Jisung wouldn’t have to third wheel.” Chan stepped to the side to allow the other boy to come forward and join the conversation. He had warm brown hair, and a handsome face.

“I’m Minho,” he smiled holding his hand out to Felix, which he accepted kindly. He then reached out to Jisung, who shook his hand slowly with caution.

‘Wow, soft skin.’ Jisung thought, before letting go realising he was holding onto the latters’ hand a bit longer than he should’ve.

“Well, let’s go!” Chan exclaimed, grabbing Felix and dragging him to one of the alleys, Minho following with Jisung awkwardly trailing behind them.

“Just hoping this isn’t as crazy as the party Chan begged me to go to with him a few months ago,” Minho said to Jisung, slowing down to keep up with his pace to give the couple some space. “There was so much glitter, my boogers still look like disco balls.”

Jisung chuckled at his story, coming to a halt as everyone sat down and began putting their bowling shoes on. He couldn’t help but stare at Minho’s features as he concentrated on tying his shoe laces; his furrowed brows, small smile and his nimble fingers....

‘Wait, why am I staring at him like this? He’s literally just tying his shoelaces, calm your shits.’ Jisung thought as he shook his head and put his mind back to tying up his own shoes.

It wasn’t long until they were all ready to play, choosing bowling balls that they found comfortable enough to play with.

“Wow, yours looks heavy. Can I hold it?” Chan looked at Minho’s ball, not even waiting for his answer before he snatched the ball out of his hand and gasped. “This is really heavy!”

“Whoa! Jisung, be careful not to pick up Minho’s ball by mistake, yours and his are very similar colours.”

Jisung furrowed his brows slightly at Felix’s words, his eyes looming between his dark blue ball and Minho’s dark torquoise one.

Chan gave Minho his ball back with a chuckle as he turned to the other two. “Let’s goooo!!!!”

⏳⌛️⏳

It had been about 20 minutes since they started playing and everyone was having fun; Chan had 7 strikes, Felix’s ball kept swerving to dips up the side, Minho kept getting spares, and Jisung only got one or two pins down each turn he had.

“Wait, wait a sec,” Minho stood up and walked towards the puffy cheeked boy, who was about to bowl again. “Maybe if you stood a bit more like this...”

Jisung stiffened as the brunette put his hands around his waist, turning his body slightly to the front. He could feel the heat in his face rise drastically as he avoided eye-contact at all costs.

“... and maybe try to spin the ball as you bowl it, so it goes faster and more down the middle.”

Jisung nodded slowly as Minho went back to sitting down with the others, waiting for the chubby-cheeked boy to have his turn.

He stiffly tried to swing his arm back, his body probably still in shock from the sudden physical contact. When he got his arm back and let go of the ball, his eyes glued to their alleys to see how many pins he’d knock down using Minho’s strategy. Instead, he was greeted with an agonising pain in his foot, causing him to look down to see he dropped the ball on his foot.

Jisung crumbled to the floor as Felix rushed towards him, the other two trailing behind him with worried expressions.

“Oh, my God! Are you okay?!” The freckled boy asked, looking at Jisung’s foot.

“I’m fine!” Jisung lied, springing up to stand and smiling, pretending like the pain in didn’t shoot up his leg and make his lower back tingle. “Let’s keeps bowling!”

“Jisung, you’re crying.”

“Pfft, no!” He shook his head at Felix’s comment. “I don’t cry! Why would I? I’m fine!”

“Yeah, I think you should sit out the rest of the game....” Felix put his friends’ arm around his shoulder, Jisung leaning on him even though he was ‘fine’.

“Nooooo!!!” Jisung whined, furrowing his brows when he plopped down on the seat with a pout.

“I’ll go get you an ice pack!” Minho yelled behind him as he ran to the front counter, the other three giving a questioning look in his direction.

⏳⌛️⏳

“Put your foot on my lap, I’ll ice it for you.”

Jisung looked at Minho with a confused face. “Why? You’re missing your turn, you know.”

Minho shrugged as the two could hear Felix and Chan enjoy their game. “I don’t care. Besides, the other two should enjoy their date as a couple.”

Jisung nodded in understanding. He hesitantly put his foot up to Minho’s lap, setting it down and watching as the brunette carefully removed his shoe, holding the ice to where the ball seemed to land.

“Shit, that hurts.” Jisung grimaced with a scowl as he leaned back on the seat.

“Thought you weren’t in pain?” Minho asked with a small smile.

“Pff, I’m not.” Jisung shrugged.

“Beauty is pain, I guess.”

“You did not just say that!” Jisung laughed and covered his face with his hands.

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” Minho shrugged as his next words rolled straight off his tongue.

They spent the next 20 minutes exchanging cheesy pickup lines and whatnot, just having fun and laughing.

“Guys, it’s fine to go!” Felix yelled as he put on his jacket and starting making his way to the front desk with Chan.

“Is your foot still sore?” Minho asked as he stood up and offered Jisung his hand.

Jisung accepted his hand gratefully and stood up, testing to see if his foot was good enough to walk on or not.

“Yep! Seems good enough.” Jisung smiled at the other as they started trailing the other two. “Your magic hands really helped, thanks!”

“My hands can do much more than that, trust me.” Minho retorted with sly wink, resulting in the other blushing madly. “Soooo, should we exchange numbers?”

“Yeah, I think that-“

“Minho! Hurry up! I gotta get home, my dog sitter just called and said that there was a vomiting incident so COME ON!!” Chan called from the front seat of his car.

“Coming!” Minho turned to Jisung and ruffled his hair with a smile. “Bye! I’ll get your number off Chan!”

He then ran off to the car, Jisung smiling at his quirkiness before heading the opposite direction to Felix’s car. One thing was for sure, he was going to get his phone from his friend soon, as he was waiting for a text from a certain someone.

Omg how was my first oneshot??? IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE OMFG

Requests always open :p

Have a good day/night!! Xxx

[jaynovz]

Black Sails night with Lauren @boatsfordays

2.6

“Ugh I dunno if I want to see Flint’s stupid face” (bahahahah it’s SO FUNNY how much she dislikes him)

Flint-Vane fight: “Oh yeah!!! Vane’s about to get him!! I’m so glad but this... this is prob not going to end in Flint’s death. sigh. because... why would it. the show seems really invested in him so I doubt he’ll die. someone is going to break it up.”

“Listen Jay he’s just a bad manager, bad leader, and that’s personally offensive to me. and the Freckle Situation, as discussed” (pfffft. listen I’m a slut for freckles personally soooo)

“Vane is pretty but I don’t actually care what happens to him”

“I’m rooting for Jack, Anne and Max”

“This is about to be really embarrassing for Flint cuz I think Vane would have this fight... like he had that whole naked fight, I think he’s got this”

Eleanor breaks it up “Yep yep, see! cuz Vane woulda won that”

“Awww lookit Jack. On a ship again” “Oh god I hope this goes well”

Featherstone: And if there's anything you need assistance with today, please don't hesitate to ask me

Lauren: IS HE PROPOSITIONING HIM (Lauren is2g ur so horny)

Logan: So either I'm going up there and fucking Charlotte, or I'm fucking you down here imagining I'm fucking Charlotte up there.

Lauren: nope my butthole is protected

-Lauren pauses the show- “okay hold up, I need to talk about buttholes for a second”

Billy returns, crew reactions 

Lauren: “SHE’S ALIVE”

Vane, flint et al in a room: “they’re actually going to have a CONVERSATION? ohhhh it’s cuz there’s women here to supervise. cuz these men are too violent to have a conversation like civilized individuals b/c they’re gremlins”

“The mood of the whole crew has just changed b/c Billy has shown up and he’s alive. They’re not chomping at the bit to fight as much, they’re here with Billy. So my prediction is that they will now be more receptive to Flint’s new plan”

“God poor Anne, this is hard for her. I get it”

Anne kills Logan and Charlotte “ANNE OH SHIT OH NOOOOO. She’s not in a good placeeeeee”

Jack and other Captain negotiating “I like this. I hope Jack finds a friend. hope they can be allies... aw DANGIT”

Billy and Flint reunion: “GIVE EM A HUG” “lol Billy is afraid of him” “but he is taller than him. that’s funny” “I think Billy is realllll unsure about his decisions”

“I think Anne def regrets this seeing how she’s just sitting here and hasn’t left the room”

about Hornigold: “oh yeah I forgot about him lol”

Vane listening to Eleanor: “he thinking ‘to simp or not to simp?’ ”

Jack and other Captain “Oh shit he’s gotta fight him. That’s the only way I can see to do this. Otherwise they’ll vote him out. oh shit. YOU BETTER NOT DIE RIGHT NOW. I hope he somehow gets lucky and wins.”

-Lauren rooting enthusiastically for Jack during the fight-

“OH MY GOSH HE DID IT. oh this is clever. that is smart. I’m so proud of him. I CALLED IT.”

“Look at Silver cleaning up messes, he’s quite good at that”

“Is Anne gonna get off scott free??? I am so surprised. I’m glad Max didn’t snap at her. I was worried.”

“Vane is NOT going to be happy when he wakes up”

“I like that Billy has something in his back pocket”

[a-hidden-weeb-an-open-queer]

MHA but it's a wattpad werewolf fanfiction. P1.

As a werewolf wattpad author myself, I am taking the library to mock this strange culture phenomenon.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and abusive fathers, nothing super graphic. Slut shaming. Possible hints at beasality (???). And no spell checking. Read at your own risk.

----I don't know how to center text lmao---------

A/N: omg guyz!!!!! im so excited to share this story idea ahhhhh but I'm also super nervous please b nice :)))))))) also to all the haters I'm sorry you're peanut butter jealous of me >:}

OoooooooO

Hello, my name is Izuku Midorya! I am a 4'1 greenette with wide beautiful jade orbs and a slim body. Sadly, I'm very ugly :( because I wear glasses and enjoy comics and other geeky things that other people don't.

Today is my first day at ForestWood High school and I'm super nervous. Everyone at my last highschool hated me because I was super ugly and shy.

"Izuku, sweetie, get up you're gonna be late to school!" My mom whispered yelled through my door.

I gasp, my jade eyes blinking open in panic. I had another nightmare about my abusive acholic dad beating me :(

"C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-Ccoming mom." I stuttered.

I slip out of the soft comforters of my bed and quickly made my way to the mirror. My messy, green hair and beautiful jade orbs staring blinking at me. I frown. My ugly freckles are ugly against my super smooth and milky skin. God, I hated how I looked.

"Honey?" My mom whispered yelled again.

My abusive acholic dad used to beat her whenever he spoke higher than a whisper so now her voice is permanently damaged and she can't speak higher than a whisper ever again. Damn him!!!!!!

"Sorry! I'll be down quickly!" I gasped.

I totally forgot it was my first day at ForestWood High school - i hope the other kids don't bully me for my super ugly glasses and totally weird hobbies like reading comics or listening to Panic At The Disco!

I quickly pull on my vans, my best pair of jeans, and the cutest long sleeve shirt I have. It has to be long sleeved cuz my abusive acholic dad left burn scars all over my arms.

I look at myself through the mirror and nod happily - I am still super ugly tho.

"Hmmmm, it feels like I'm missing something....Oh!" I pulled on my glasses, almost forgetting them. Wow I'm such a klutz!

Laughing to myself, I climb down the stairs and find my mommy in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Hi sweetie! I hope you aren't too stressed out about moving in the middle of sophomore year. It's just that we needed a new start after your abusive acholic father was arrested for a DUI." She whisper yells.

I nod. "No I understand mother."

She smiles. "Okay sweetie, so long you are happy. Do you want me to drive you?"

"No thanks" it's so lame to have your mom drive you too school, I think to myself.

My mom lays down a plate full of eggs, bacon, cheese, pancakes, sausage, and beans. I smile and take a piece of toast "thanks for breakfast mom" i say as i run outside.

"You're welcome honey!" She whisper yells back.

OoooooooooooO

Everyone is staring at me as I walk into the door of WoodForest High School. They all stare wide eyed before turning around to gossip to each other.

I nervously look down, clinching the schedule my student console gave me. Already the weirdo :( it must be the Naruto shirt I'm wearing.

Since I was looking down nervously, I didn't see the slut in front of me. I let out a gasp, body falling backwards as my papers are all scattered to the floor.

"Omg I am sooooooooooooo sorry!" I cried out, head snapping upwards.

Across from me sat the slutties person I've ever seen!!! With a skin tight, thigh high dress, super long heels, and a face full of makeup, he looked like a low-end prostitute.

"Omg! You better be sorry! My father just got me these heels! Ugh! Stupid human!!!!!" He said, beautiful blonde hair shining and gray eyes twinkling with anger.

"I-I-Im-" I stuttered.

"Just fucking shut up you stupid fucking whore omfg this is why i wanted Alpha Todorki to fucking kill all the humans and shit but nooooo that was genocide and bad. Ughhuuuy stupid ass fucking bitch." He yells down at me, standing up from the floor.

Around me the whole student body stares, most laughing or throwing in their own insults. Tears fill my jade orbs as I sniffle.

The slut huffs, spinning on his heels as he marches down the hallway. Everyone watches his ass as he goes because damn.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" A kind and gentle voice calls out. I turn to see a beautiful brownette standing before me and I blush - she's so cute and nice!

"You must be the new guy! Hi! I'm Ochako~ and the person who just rudely left you sitting on the floor is Momoma - he's sorta the Queen Bee around here. And a mythic bitch" (A/N: if you got that reference plsssssssss be my friend 😭)

Ochako helps me pick up the single piece of paper I dropped when I ran into Momoma.

"Wait, how do you know I'm knew?" I ask confused.

Ochako laughs, sounding suspiciously nervous. Weird...

"Uh....its a small town and every one sorta knows every one hahahaha! OH! It looks like you have Mr. Aizawa first period, so do I! He's sorta of a hardass but is also super kind!"

I nod, "okay!" We walk down the hallway together.

"Hey, do you think you can tell me more about this school?" I ask, not wanting to repeat the same thing I rid with MoBitch.

Ochako nods, "sure! Well this school isn't like most because we have two packs right next to each other -" ochako's eyes widen as she looks my way. I am confused. "-I mean! Not packs. No. That's weird. Wolf like. I meant...families. Two different families and we don't like each other and we don't have many outsiders hahahha"

I blink before nodding, "that makes sense. Who are these families?" I asked like a good main protagonist.

Ochako continues with the NPC dialog. "Well first you have the Todorokis - Alpha, i mean, leader Todoroki is a real hard ass. His son is unmated, I mean, is currently not in a relationship. He's weird but nice. Then there are the bakugos. Alpha...leader Bakugo is real nice! I love her cooking but her son is super mean and is a bad boy so stay away from him. He's also single."

I nod as we come up to a science classroom, "thank you."

"Well, here we are! First period of the day! Ready for hell on earth?" She asks me with a wink.

I take her arm in mine, "only if you're ready to talk along side with me."

She laughs, "of course we're best friends after all."

"I've known you for five minutes."

"What?"

"Nothing."

We step into the classroom, arm in arm. I feel ready to face any weirdos or bad boys.

OoooooooooO

A/N: omggggg that was so much fun 2 write and i feel like it was really good. Please comment and like :))))) it makes me happy and I'm very sad :(((((( love you alll!!!!!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxozoozz

[meganshinsou-tm]

bring your shithead to work day. (f/c)

☙ pairing: izuku and yukio

☙ theme: single dad pro-hero deku, megsbigbeefyhairydeku

☙  cw/tw: profanity, comedy, fluff, yukio midoriya*, single dad, oopsie yuki made a poopsie! 

☙  a/n-request:  [Okay! Just like a day out. Some good ol taking your son on a non dangerous patrol to see what it is his daddy does for a living. Maybe going to a store and just having a fun shopping trip and fan-boying over Hero Merch because you know one of Dekus kids will be a fan-child like he was too😂 does this count as details or do you need more? Like I avoided anything about a mom because I don't know what to do for that lol. !!! MAKE IT SINGLE DAD DEKU! yeah. Yeah! Single dad. That's good]

** I had too much fun with this and kind of just went with it. Hope the cameo is okay. ^-^

The sound of electricity crackling and elated high pitched giggles bounced against the brick walls of the city's buildings as Izuku jumped from rooftop to rooftop. His green eyes were wide with fear and he ran harder than ever, using his quirk to help propel him further and faster. 

He was running out of time. He had to hurry!

“Almost there buddy, just - please, please hold on!” Izuku panted out, placing a gloved hand to pet Yukio’s head.

When the sound of his giggles started to quiet and eventually went silent, Izuku felt panic coursing through his veins and making his blood run cold. He looked down to his one year old, strapped securely in a harness to his chest. Matching green eyes looked up at his but it was the strained stare on Yukio’s face that made Izuku yelp. 

He looked back up and spotted the golden arches of a nearby McDonalds and nodded. Soon he was bouncing back and forth down between two buildings before landing on the ground and immediately running for the fast food establishment. Izuku ignored all the citizens stopping to stare at him with waves and cheers, some taking out their phones to record videos and snap pictures. 

He didn’t have time! 

Izuku struggled to pull open the doors in his panic, gaining shocked and confused looks from the customers and employees as he bolted for the bathroom while yelling out apologies. But finally, fucking finally, he made it inside and pulled down the plastic table of the diaper changing station while clumsily unbuckling a grunting Yukio from his carrier. 

“Come on Yuki, don’t do this to me - oops,” Izuku flinched when he nearly dropped the kid but was quick enough to use black whip in catching him by the leg.

But that was a grave mistake.

“Ah no, no, no - nooooo!”

From outside the bathroom, the workers and customers and now citizens from outside all listened to Izuku groaning and panicking while Yukio giggled and squealed. One person asked what could possibly be going on when a man sitting at a table with his own two kids shook his head sympathetically and sighed.

“Trust me - you don’t wanna know.”

Nearly twenty minutes passed before Izuku emerged out of the bathroom with a giggly Yukio on his hip, wearing nothing but a diaper. His face bloomed red as numerous people looked at him with confusion. Izuku rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand and offered up a nervous laugh. 

“Uh sorry about that everyone, we had a little uh, accident.”

Soon everyone was either laughing or covering their hearts as they visibly awed at the flustered massive burly hero and his happy child. Izuku explained how in his rush to pick Yukio up from his mother that morning, he forgot to pack an extra set of clothes in his bag and he didn’t make it in time for the ‘accident’ and only made things worse when he caught the kid upside down. The people of the fast food joint were understanding, especially the parents and one of them offered an extra t-shirt they had in their kids diaper bag. It was a little too big but it would help for now until Izuku stopped by a store to get Yukio a new outfit for the rest of the day. 

Izuku thanked the person and insisted on paying for their meal and giving them and their kids vouchers for each a free merch item from one of the official hero stores. Next he decided why not get lunch for him and the little stinker before heading back out on patrol. So a few chicken nuggets with apples slices and two big mac meals later, Izuku and Yukio said goodbye to everyone and the hero was bolting back into the city. 

Yukio babbled and drooled while Izuku walked down the streets of the shopping district, making sure to wave to the civilians with a gleaming smile as they walked by him. A couple of paparazzi snapped his picture and Izuku mentally jotted down to look out for those photos so he could print them out for himself. 

“Well, all things considering, it's been a pretty good day right Yuki?”

Izuku questioned the toddler, looking down on him and running his fingers through those matching unruly green curls of his. Yukio looked up at Izuku and smiled a slobbery smile, freckled cheeks all pink from giggling while he played with his stuffed otter. Izuku smiled back and hummed, the both of them looking ahead after.

The hero walked about another block before Yukio started bouncing excitedly in the chest carrier and pointing straight ahead.

“Boom Boom!”

Izuku chuckled and nodded. “Yup, there’s Uncle Kacchan.”

A high-pitched squeal escaped Yukio when Bakugou spotted them and started walking over. When he stopped, Bakugou looked down at the toddler and smirked, using a large finger to tickle under his chin.

“What’s up you little shit-head!”

“Kacchan!” Izuku exclaimed.

Bakugou only threw his head back and laughed, taking the toy otter from Yukio and using it to playfully boop his face.

“It’s true. You two are all over the internet now, it’s fucking priceless!”

Izuku groaned and rubbed the front of his face with his palm. Yukio drooled while teething on Bakugou’s gloved finger, the blonde grinning before punching at Izuku’s shoulder.

“Tch, chill out nerd. So the little gremlin shit himself too hard and ruined his clothes, it happens. You’re a single dad, no one expects you to be perfect - even partnered dads fuck up, you’re not fucking special. Plus it's grade A entertainment, I’m looking forward to the next thing this little guy does.” 

With a sigh, Izuku smiled and pinched at one of Yukio’s cheeks. “Yeah I guess so. Thanks Kacchan.”

Bakugou clicked his tongue and ruffled Yukio’s hair before shoving Izuku away with a palm to his face.

“Whatever Deku. Get that kid some clothes and stop by after your patrol is done, I’ll make us dinner since you’re shit at cooking and I don’t want the kid to starve tonight.”

Izuku chuckled and rubbed his cheek, turning around to watch as Bakugou walked away.

“O-Okay then,” he smiled and lifted Yukio’s hand to wave at the blonde, “Say by Uncle Kacchan.”

Yukio giggled and kicked his tiny legs, waving both arms. “Bye-bye Boom Boom!”

“Close enough, now let’s go check out the area then get you some better fitting clothes.”

After another half hour, Izuku and Yukio found themselves inside of one of the famous chain hero merchandise stores in the shopping district. While Izuku looked for Yukio’s size in the Ground Zero three piece set jogger outfit, Yukio played with a Red Riot plushie and a purple Persona cat plushie that had Hitoshi’s matching tired eyes as he sat in the buggy. 

When Izuku finally found what he needed he decided to go look and see if any new figures happened to come out. And in the end when he and Yukio left the store, they had a bag carrying the new Chargebolt and Cellophane figures, a few sets of the Ground Zero active wear joggers and Shouto onesies that had patterns of a cartoon cat version of the hero. Yukio also had a children’s pair of Tsukuyomi sunglasses on since the sun was going down and Izuku didn’t want him to have its rays in his eyes on their way back to the agency. 

Izuku put on his own pair and leaned down to kiss the top of Yukio’s head, strapped once again in his chest harness. The toddler giggled and held his two new toys close.

“Alright Yuki, ready to go clock out and spend the afternoon with Boom Boom?”

Yukio smiled and squealed so loud and hard his little eyes squeezed shut.

“Boom Boom!”

[marcsundar]

Black Cat Husband

On a day when all was well in the world, John Harris moved his right arm on the breakfast table to fetch the honey when he accidentally elbowed the bottle of milk which fell from the table and on to the floor. This was where it all came down and John snapped.

Previously in John's life he was working a job - a job where he was not moving fast enough. Since university he had worked 10 years but quite blatantly fucked around for about 7 of them. He started off in a junior position and then got the right promotion which would have seen him fast track to the big time in management consultancy. However, he was young and realised that there was more to life than money. So he quit, got a part time job behind the counter in a bookies, lived with his mum and simply took it easy for the next six years.

He tried various hobbies like building his own computer from components bought from online retailers and computer fayres. John built up a large DVD collection and had a decent home cinema set up in his room. Sometimes he spent so much time there his mother got frustrated. But she was glad he was around.

He spent weekends going out with mates; drinking a lot, pulling (he’d call) ‘loose’ women and then recovering the following day. At work he had no intention of moving up the corporate ladder from sales advisor to one day a manager. He just worked to get some money to fuck around with. Money spent on DVDs, beer and occasional hotel rooms.

Then he met Millie. At a club no less but she was zestful and enjoyed herself. She was different to the other women he met in clubs and bars - they were all made up and simply wanted to fuck their lives away like John did. Millie on the other hand seemed to respect herself - she laughed vociferously and smiled a freckled smile which made John reconsider where he was.

They got together and went out a bit. They went for walks in Gunnersbury park - a park behind the office where Millie worked as a personal assistant for a corporate CEO. They became intimate with each other at a Travelodge hotel near Holborn in the London Euston area. They continued to see each other for about a year before John proposed. It was a spare of the moment proposal - there was no ring. The two were walking in Richmond park when they got to the brow of a hill which overlooked London. A magnificent setting for a grand gesture.

Millie wasn't the kind of girl who wanted a big wedding, so three months later they were wed in a civil ceremony at Bracknell town hall. They had an evening reception where everyone was invited but the ceremony was for close friends and family.

No sooner were they married, John started to look for positions in management consultancy, he tried to pick up where he left off, however, none of the big companies wanted to give him that opportunity - even his previous employer. So he started out, back at the bottom for another firm. He was managed by people younger than himself, he was doing the projects he had invested himself, mind and body energy almost ten years previous. The frustration grew.

A few months into his new determination to be a providing husband, his mother passed away. John was left cold and shunted. The death of a primary caregiver is at least up there in the top 3 things that will fuck up one's mind. John felt, at the time that he could not afford to let the emotional spill get in the way of being the amazing husband he perceived he was and knew that he would never give up on being better at it. He bottled away the grief to carry on driving his career.

From where this tale started off, yesterday, John received some news which put him back. Two others who started with him were promoted to the level John achieved at the beginning of his career. John did not receive this promotion. His abilities were best laid in another path and if he wanted the same progress he would have to wait another year, continue growth doing the same things for another year. John calculated that he missed a crucial module of his career development attending to his mothers' funeral and minor estate arrears. He had already completed the module almost ten years ago but that didn't count. He was on the brink of self destruction.

Today, he spilt some milk. This led him over the edge. All the raw pent up frustration. All the bottled up grief. All the regrets of not having continued whilst young - wasting his youth and time. All the memories of his mother; the one person, who when he was fucking up; never turned her back on him; providing him with shelter to do his own thing, to help him see that he was fucking up, but not in a bad way, letting him realise that he needed to grow up. The woman who was happiest of all when he impromptu, married the woman of his dreams.

It all got so manifested within him in a cosmic-emotional response to the milk bottle smashing on the floor that he changed. All of a sudden. Pow! Just like that - phantoosh and finished. Cloud of smoke and all… in the split second he heard and looked to the milk crash… he became what he associated with the moment. Feline. Yes reader; he turned into a cat.

What can I say? I'm not making this up! John turned into a cat at the point where his mind could not cope with his body. When I say turned into, perhaps it is more projection in an astral way. His mind, spirit or soul, what have you, leapt from his body and found the last association in his brain. Cats drink milk, they knock over bottles.

So John found himself on the street in the body of a cat. Once he realised what was happening, he was in time to witness a very familiar car rattle passed at a fair speed. It was his car. His joint owned car with Millie. Millie was on her way to work.

John felt the rage. He felt the disgrace of life. He saw what he needed to do. End it. If he was finished, Millie could get on with everything. Find less of a loser and less of a bottler of emotions. A real man… not a cat.

John the cat darted a pedestrian short cut he knew of the area to get to the road which Millie would likely drive down in the Fiat Punto. He knew which car to hide under. He found a perfect view of the road approach and where Millie would come in from. He saw her drive down and waited, he was far too pent up to deliver correct timing but knew it was likely she would squash him flat! He ran out and stopped in front of her left front wheel. He looked into her eyes. He saw passed the panic. He saw passed the edging guilt. He saw passed the fright. He saw passed the logical reaction systems being put into use by Millie slamming the breaks.

He saw passed it all and saw love. He saw the love. He saw that through all the troubles he was having, he forgot that Millie loved him. He had forgotten who helped him when he couldn’t help himself when his mother died. He forgot who had got him to quit the idiocy of the life he was living to regain the right path. He had forgotten who he was doing it all for. He had forgotten one emotion which balanced the grief, loss, frustration, anger and depression. Love.

In that moment he was back. Back slouched on the kitchen table, hazy and with some spilt milk to clean up. Not to mention shards of glass. His mobile phone rattled the table. He received a text message from his wife… 

Nooooo! Nearly ran over a black cat :(

[a-singular-braincell]

Space boy

This is the first chapter of a book I’m writing. It hasn’t been edited, but if you like it then I’ll edit it more often and post every chapter.

Chapter 1(Introduction): SK-68

I buried my head within my book, trying to be invisible. I read each word carefully, writing in the margins, and marking everything I find interesting. The bell rang as I pushed my glasses further up my nose. I dogeared the page, closed my book, and walked to class. I wanted to continue to read about the stars, getting lost within each page, wishing I could float among the stars and hop between planets and never return to earth.

I gazed at the boy buried deep into another space book, space boy I call him. I blasted Crown the Empire, getting lost in thought. I had to go talk to him, but I don’t know how. I’ve never talked to him, but I couldn’t help but stare. He was just so captivating, his soft cotton candy curls draped in front of his face, his freckles were like little angel kisses, his eyes contained this whole galaxy within them, they were just like a whole other planet. I couldn’t get him out of my head, he’s like a parasite that latched itself within my head and I never wanted to get rid of it. He stood up, grabbed his bag, and headed for the door, meaning the bell rang. My bag hanged from my shoulder, bouncing slightly as I headed to class.

I couldn’t focus on what the teacher was saying. I couldn’t stop looking at him, it was frustrating sometimes. He was annoyingly and stupidly gorgeous, he was just ughhhh, too distracting and too unattainable.

“Psst, Dylan, stop staring at your boyfriend”

“He’s not my boyfriend”

“Oh that’s right, you’re too l a m e to talk to him”

“I’m not lame”

“Prove it, ask him out”

“Dude, I have the bravery of a celery stick!”

Everyone turned to look at me. I must’ve said that last line too loud.

“Boys” the teacher warned

“Sorry” we both said, embarrassed.

I doodled in my notebook, not really caring about this class or the teacher. I felt a pair of eyes on me, I thought it was just Tyler still trying to fuck with me. I turned to glare at him, so I can telepathically tell him to fuck off, but it wasn’t Tyler. I turned my head to see space boy staring at me. We made 5 loooooooong seconds of eye contact before we both looked away, a slight blush fell on my cheeks. I glanced back at him, he was looking at the teacher, but I could see his cheeks darken. I stared at my paper for the rest of class, not wanting to look up and make a fool of myself.

The bell rang and I grabbed my bag, wanting to get out of this class.

“Hey, Dylan, wait up!” I turned to see space boy jogging up to me

“Do-do you need something?” I stuttered, great going Dylan.

“I just wanted to talk to you,” he beamed

Well, this is strange, out of the blue space boy wants to talk to me.

“Okay,” I paused, “wait, don’t you have class?”

“Oh, yeah. I kinda forgot about that for a second. Don’t really want to miss that”

“Wait, have you ever skipped class?”

“Nooooo? I don’t wanna get in trouble”

“Come with me, I know a place”

“Are-are you su-” I cut him off by grabbing his wrist and dragging him along with me.

“Positive,” I grinned

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[virtual-crisis]

⭐Alpha Centauri⭐

Yes, you heard right, my..... Er, 43 followers [goddamnit my follower count on my main blog is the homestuck number as of writing]. I've started up a new story here, and this one's actually original [albeit dipping into a few fandoms, but it doesn't owe its plot to them]; this one's about an awkward college student that's roommates with an.... Interesting individual, to say the least. Stay tuned if this first part is engaging to you.

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Darkness. All I saw was the black of the void. It got darker in pulses for a few moments before growing light on one side. Why? Well, probably because my head was leant on my arm. I winced once more before lifting my eyes off my forearm—I’d dozed off mid toilet break… Lovely.

I groaned, sitting up. I wanted to check the time, but my phone was in my pocket, and my pajama pants were pulled down to my ankles, so I looked out the window. Solaris was pulling its lower half out of the horizon line off to the East, which meant I’d REALLY conked out, considering it was night when I’d sat down. Oh well, at least I wouldn’t have to worry about anything else having to “exit my premises”.

I stretched my arms for a moment before grabbing a long strip of toilet paper and finishing up on the toilet. After that, I skipped over to the sink to wash my hands, then headed back into my connected bedroom.

By this point, I realized while playing narrator that I should probably tell you who the Hell I am. Oops.

So, name’s Alyssa. I’m a college student at Boston University, studying software engineering with a minor in the arts. My parents encouraged me to make good use of my scholarship by going for a PhD, so I could get a really good, high-paying job relatively early on. At twenty-six years old, I’m on my third year for that doctorate, and I’m yet to see this path make itself a mistake. No dead end career, no crippling debt, none of that.

In the meantime, I’d gotten dressed: a pale blue t-shirt, with a blue plaid skirt and black shoes. Covering my legs was my favorite garment—A set of leggings patterned like a starry sky, with various blues, purples and greens under the white dots. Aside from clothes, I held a Hispanic complexion, a fuckton of freckles, and a glossy pair of blue eyes to go with my long, black hair.

As I fumbled around to get my backpack open and my phone inside, I walked myself through the past week’s lectures, mentally. Lots of boring C++ and script writing, but one can’t make the fun stuff without the bare basics.

Thinking on basics reminded me of food, so I closed my bag and headed to my dorm room’s kitchen, where my roommate was seated at the table.

Yeah, uh, my roommate. She was… Green. Bright green and glowing. Not unlike uranium, because that was exactly what she was.

While she had a form that looked human like myself, she was anything but. She said her parents call her a “uranium atronach,” but in layman’s terms, she’s a demon. From Hell.

Yes, I’m serious.

My hand reflexively went over my mouth and nose. “Hey hey, whoa, what’d I say about going all radio in the kitchen?”

The demoness—going by “Tyler” for her human guise—tensed up, pulling on the mask of a hazmat suit she wore in her “pure” form. “Oh fuck, right, I forgot about that,” she said, voice muffled by her mask as she glanced over to me. “Morning Ally, how’d you sleep?”

“Like a damn rock. I fell asleep in the bathroom.”

“Shit, that sucks. Maybe should’ve gone earlier….”

“Oi, I can’t control my ass like that.”

Tyler snorted, before chuckling under her suit. I stared blankly for a moment, before joining her as I went to grab a container of cup ramen to heat up.

“Alyssa,” she said, “do me a favor and never think before you talk to me.”

“Whoever said I did?” I quipped. “Now come on, I got dressed already. You go change into your flesh-suit-thing so we’ll be ready for class.”

Tyler sighed, getting up. “C’moooooon, I just put my mask back on,” she groaned.

“Oh hush, I took like ten seconds to wake up and get moving. That’s like, dangerously fast for me.”

Tyler broke out laughing as she stepped past me to leave the kitchen, and I laughed with her. Once she was out, I turned to the microwave, glancing at the ramen cup. “Microwave for three minutes”. Pfft. I set it to six to be thorough—never could trust the shitty appliances in these dorms.

Soon, a caucasian human girl came into the kitchen wearing a t-shirt for some dime-a-dozen death metal band and jeans she’d cut wear into herself with a knife. Tyler’s ‘human’ form, though she didn’t do a good job of staying inconspicuous with her ‘isotope-green’ mohawk flipped over on the side of her head. Like some dumb 2070’s cyberpunk hacker or something.

I stared blankly at her. “...What’s with the hair?”

She furrowed her brows, swatting a hand in my direction. “Stoooooop asking that every time I change.” she whined in annoyance. I just snickered in response.

Once my ramen was ready, I pulled it out and seasoned it to start eating. Tyler grabbed another cup from the fridge to do the same. I went ahead and headed into the living room, sitting down and flicking through channels aimlessly on the TV. Very little of interest, even on the cartoon channels. The cartoons were just a bunch of mindless pandering to kids’ amusement at randomness, and the rest was either boring news or inane soap operas.

“I wonder if that’s what it’s like to be schizophrenic.”

I blinked, looking over at Tyler. “...What?”

“...Y’know, hearing voices in your head. Or would ADHD be more accurate? Fuck if I know.”

I looked back at the TV, then her again. “...What the fuck?”

She shrugged, sitting next to me. “What’re you even on the cable for anyway? None of these shows are good.” she said, grabbing for the remote.

I held it away from her. “Nooooo, I wanna flick through them. If I watch youtube I’ll just be stuck there for hours.” I whined.

“But youtube’s actually FUN to watch. You get to see people being idiots for others’ entertainment!” Tyler whined back, putting one hand around my shoulders and trying to grab the remote with the other.

“You get that on these stupid shows too if you think about it enough!”

“But I thought you didn’t like thinking!”

“I- agh!” I yelped as Tyler toppled both of us over, flopping on top of me. Fortunately, whoever teaches demons about imitating humans doesn’t get skeletons right, or it would’ve hurt a lot more than it did in this instance. “Ugh… Get off me, fatass…”

Tyler huffed, shifting position to lie on top of me casually and snatch the remote from my hand. “Pff, or what, you’ll thump me on the head? No.” she teased. I rolled my eyes, shifting and struggling to get my legs up under hers since I was stuck there either way.

“...Whatever. Put on one of those ghost pepper challenge tags.”

“Ew, no, that’s a minefield of people like, hiccupping in really gross ways.”

“Not if you know the right channel.”

Tyler scoffed, leaning over to grab an Xbox controller off the coffee table. She used it to turn on and navigate our shared Xbox to its Youtube app, where we spent a good hour or two watching dumb videos of dumb people doing dumb things. It was amusing for the time being.

Eventually, Tyler’s alarm went off on her phone, signaling we had to get the hell out of our dorm and off to class. Tyler was quick to turn off the TV and urge me to get up, but I’d half dozed off underneath her, and my legs had fallen asleep.

“I don’t wanna go to school…” I whined.

Tyler rolled her eyes. “Hey dumbass, you’re already IN school.”

“Well I don’t wanna already in school……”

Tyler snorted in amusement for a moment… Before grabbing me by the shoulder and pulling me off the couch. “Come on you lazy ass, time to learn how to speak robot.”

I sighed in frustration, wrestling away from her and stumbling a bit as my legs got used to having to move again. “Ugh, fine. But what if I don’t wanna-”

Tyler put a hand over my mouth. “You literally asked to learn how to talk to robots.”

I rolled my eyes, pulling away from her again and turning to saunter out the door of our room. “Whatever…”

Class was uneventful. Another lecture on the inner workings of computer programs. I’d been taught a good bit of software engineering by my mom, growing up, but even she was reading the ‘For Dummies’ book on it. Something something binary, something something programming project, something something research on the developments of programming over the decades.

I elected to spend the afternoon dicking around with some old CD-ROM games that my parents had let us get a hold of to use for school stuff. ‘Us’ as in me and my little brother, Nate.

“So how do you think they programmed the shadows to move in real time? It has to generate a new silhouette texture on the ground every time the model is hit by a new light source.”

He’s about three years younger than me, so I act as his tutor. After all, he decided to take the same major as me, albeit minoring in culinary arts.

“I’m surprised it doesn’t drop the framerate when you pass between rooms, thinking on that. The shadow textures are probably really compressed, since you don’t have to worry about all the details of the actual character model.”

You can definitely tell the food-loving part from a glance—he’s more than a little chubby, same with me—though his real passion’s making new worlds through computer programming. Me, I just love turning reality inside-out through the possibilities of game design.

“Oh yeah, we were talking polygons in class last week. Maybe we should pull up a rendering program and get a closer look at it.”

Call us nerds, but we’re the kind of people that make games for people to be nerds about, so at the end of the day it’s a compliment.

“Nahhhhh, let’s go look for a video on the topic. There’s bound to be some cool stuff talking about atoms and pixels or some shit like that.”

Nate chuckled in response to my suggestion. “Okay, okay, I’ve got lessons on matter states coming up in science anyway.”

The afternoon went by as one would expect with two cheerful, get-along-y siblings like us. Of course in this, I neglect to mention my older sister, Paula. She might not’ve been there now, but she had recently finished her studies in social sciences, supporting us from three terms ahead. Nowadays, she’d be vacationing up in Europe somewhere, but Nate and I always enjoyed when she’d visit, and it’s better I mention her now than have it come as a surprise later.

Before long, we were listening to dubstep and collaborating to make a mock-up of a platformer game. It was a moth and beetle skittering and flying through the rafters of a rave venue. Lots of lights, lots of colors, and nice, complex character models to play with. Nate kept saying to make it run well in time with the music we listened to, but I complained that we’d need music of our own. He retorted that we weren’t really gonna publish it for money anyway. I said, “Fair point,” and we put in some of our favorite tunes and built levels around them. Man, I envied people with synesthesia- they’d have a field day fusing visuals and music for something like this.

As if I’d summoned her or something, Tyler proceeded to walk in on us. “Holy shit you guys, that’s like fifteen songs too many at once.”

“What?” I called, cupping a hand to my mouth. “I can’t hear you over the great-a-f music!”

“UGH.” Tyler grunted aloud, putting up her hands. “I’m supposed to be reading physics textbooks this afternoon!”

I immediately hit mute on Nate’s computer. He seized up reflexively, blinking several times in surprise. “Woah, what the f-” he cut himself off to shake his head.

“Alright, alright, go soak up the universe or whatever that prof’s got you doing.” I said in a slightly mocking tone.

Tyler scoffed, walking to her bedroom. “Yeah yeah, I’m soaking up a lot more than the universe, I’ll tell you that.”

I watched her disappear past the door, before looking to the clock on the computer. “Oh shit, I’ve got art class in half an hour.” I said.

Nate leaned back as he closed most of his music tabs and set the volume to low. “Time for me to go, then?”

I snorted, waving a hand. “Hey, miss Manhattan isn’t gonna possess you or anything—she would’ve done that to me long ago if she had any plans to, heh.”

He shrugged, switching back to his Notepad++ window to make notes on changes he was making to the program. “Eh, true. Maybe I can ask her for some suggestions here…”

“Ah, I wouldn’t bother her with it. She’s got a lot of nuclear shit to read about.”

“Oooh, I can go talk through atomic physics with her, then.”

I snorted again. “Hey, leave her alone, ‘kay? And don’t go eating our food either.” I said, getting up to go switch out notebooks in my room so I’d have my notes for art class—oh right, and my sketchbook. I didn’t use it much, but my professor would chew me out if I didn’t have something of the sort available.

In art class, a couple of my classmates I sat next to were muttering about how the professor looked like Bob Ross, lecturing about color theory. I was too busy blending neon rays and spotlights to bother with their gossip. While some of the others were painting dainty flowers and landscapes, I had dubstep coursing between my ears, translating to rave lighting painting colors on a white moth—a kind of bug I’d always adored—and marking charcoal over the negative space to give an especially blatant night atmosphere.

For a while, I could feel eyes over my shoulder. I glanced over, and one of the other girls was watching me put color to paper. She blinked, and waved at me. “Oh, whoops, didn’t mean to stare.”

I glanced away for a moment, then back to her. “Er, yeah, hey. What’cha want?”

She shrugged one arm. “Well, wanted to let you know there’s a game next week. Gotta practice tomorrow, and the captain’s been upset about you being late recently…”

I stared for a moment, before thumping my head on my sketchbook. Cheer practice. I knew I was forgetting something. Between all the academic stuff I was juggling, I was on the cheerleading team too, and oh god I did not enjoy the physical exertion. I’ve always been a lazy and sedentary person, but I direly craved the love and attention cheerleading could bring. Dad said it wasn’t a good idea for someone so averse to exercise as me, but mom said it could be a good way to get some activity in here and there.

“God, jeez, I forgot about it again, thanks for the heads up…”

“You really oughta get one of those calendar apps to remind yourself—all the rest of us use ‘em.”

“Yeah, but those take time to set up…”

“Well someone’s gotta take the time to remind you…”

I groaned. “Fine, fine, I’ll get to it when I’ve got a chance…” I muttered. That, of course, was a flat lie.

Both of us winced as the professor called us back to attention, specifically calling us two out for ‘gossiping’. Oops.

When I got out of class later, Tyler swung by to bring me to a restaurant for dinner. Nothing fancy, but it was a good quality pizza place, not some ‘drive-thru’ pizza hut. Tyler said she couldn’t tell a difference, but I for one actually had a stomach, rather than some boundless void concealed only by a sphere of whale blubber. Demons being ‘superior beings’. The one I lived with was a superior lack of standards for food.

“God, this pizza’s great. Imagine people COMPLAINING about this being unhealthy.”

“Right? Shit’s delicious, who cares how greasy or high calorie it is?”

I nodded to Tyler’s remark, glancing around. “Best part’s when they put pineapple on it. Real shame they don’t have that here.” I said aloud. I could practically feel people around us squirm.

“I thought you didn’t like-?”

I waved a hand at Tyler to shut her up, quietly shushing her. I motioned at another table with my eyes, where one guy had literally facepalmed Captain Picard style because of my lie about pineapple pizza. We quietly snickered with eachother.

I motioned a hand coyly at her after a minute. “So why didn’t you tell me about cheer practice tomorrow, jackass?”

Tyler rolled her eyes. “I already set my phone to ping you for class, I’m not your cheer team reminder too.”

I huffed, pouting and looking away. “Gee, I thought roommates were a thing to help eachother out.”

“You’re LAZY. El-ay-zee-why. When’s th-”

“I’m ALSO a straight-A student.”

“When you remember to DO your projects.”

“Which is always! I’m literally a professional procrastinator!”

“It’s not literally if you don’t make money from it.”

“Check the dictionary, dumbass, some idiots online got it changed to also mean figuratively.”

Tyler scoffed haughtily, rolling her eyes and going back to eating.

Fast forward a few days. I managed to catch a date with one of the jocks on the football team- him asking me out, surprisingly. I decided not to tell him I was leaning lesbian recently, ‘cause honestly, I was fine going either way. Though if it turned out well, I’d probably have to tell him… Well, nevermind.

The date was kinda boring. He wanted to hang out at a nice bar and grill, get a drink or two, a hearty course of burgers and fries. A great effort, considering the dumbasses he played alongside. I found it kind of dull though—only thing we could really connect over was football, me as a cheerleader, and him as an athlete. His main coursework was in economics, and mine was in software engineering, so neither of us could really make sense of the other’s intellectual interests in that regard.

We decided against talking through more… Recreational interests.

“Sooooo, how’d it go, succubitch?” Tyler said tauntingly when I got home. ‘Succubitch’—pretty obvious what demons like her thought of their lustful counterparts. Then again, she was a demoness of envy. And gluttony. But the latter’s obvious just at a glance—I call her ‘fatass’ for good reason.

“I told him it was a very nice time and that I enjoyed it.” I said, sticking up my nose at her.

“So you hated it.” she retorted, smirking and raising a brow.

I glared at her. “I did not! It was just… Kind of boring? He asked if we could go again some time, and I…”

“Spat in his face?”

I put up my hands. Tyler was sneering evilly. Even for her, this was excessively mean. “No! I told him to maybe look for a girl he can find more to talk about with!”

“Oooooh, he’s gonna be crying about that at the frat house~”

“Shut up!” I whined. Tyler just laughed.