I really saw the MHA, TMA, Good Omens, that pirate show, whatever these sickfic obsessions are and was like “mmm yes, normal”
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Elephant in the room time! I’d like to give a summary for everyone here.
I think we have all been waiting for someone to dig up something about Tim Walz, and what they found is a DUI from 1995.
Tim Walz was still a teacher at the time. He was with his friends, watching college football. He chose to drive home, and was pulled over for going 96mph in a 55. He was charged and fined.
Directly afterwards, he tried to resign from his teaching job out of guilt for his actions. He felt terrible, he felt disappointed in himself, and thought he didn’t have the right to teach or be a coach because of it. The principal pushed back immediately, asking him to stay. The principal refused to let him resign.
11 years later he became a member of Congress. 30 years later, he still hasn’t touched alcohol.
His drink of choice is Diet Mountain Dew.
Trump supporters are seemingly oblivious to the hypocrisy of their criticism of Walz. It has been 30 years since Walz was charged with his only misdemeanor. In May of this year, Trump was convicted of 34 felonies.
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one of those tiktok gotham university reporters approaching bernard on the way to one of his bio classes: thoughts on red robin?
bernard, mildly sleep deprived, and knowing full well what tim’s night life is like: smash [proceeds to walk away like nothing happened]
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Bruce *storming in, burnt and covered in ash*: Where is your brother?
Damian and Tim: tf??
Tim: uh I think Jason’s in the library?
Bruce: no not him the other one
Dick, *scurries past the door*
Bruce: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON why did you set my bed on fire
Dick: You deserve it!!
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glad to see that a lot of people were disappointed by the fact that Niko’s colourful lights were not her lesbian vibes but just some parasites
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Can't stop thinking about the brothers calling MC "master" since that new teaser trailer came out. The game is called "One Master to Rule Them All." It's always been called that. This massive potential has been right in front of our eyes the whole time.
Lucifer, who only uses it in private when he's feeling particularly devilish. He wraps his arms around you, looks you right in the eye, and asks, "how does my master feel today, hmm?"
Mammon, who has an empty wallet and the urge to gamble: "Maaaster! Can I borrow some cash? I can, right? I'm your first, after all. I'll just take it from your wallet."
Leviathan, who wants to go to an anime collab cafe but is too anxious to go alone, so he begs you: "Please! Master! It's only open this week and I just have to collect all 24 limited edition cafe coasters! It'll be easier if we go together!"
Satan, who catches you when you stumble and jokingly asks, "are you okay, master?" He likes seeing the little sparks of wrath in your eyes that mirror his own.
Asmodeus, who thinks the word is hot and enjoys your reaction when he comes to steal you away from other people by saying "hey! I need to speak with my master. I'll be borrowing them for a while. I'm sure you don't mind."
Beelzebub, who hungrily stares at the food in the fridge with your name on it. He knows he needs to butter you up to have any chance of success: "Hey master, are you gonna eat that?"
Belphegor, who uses it at the most unexpected times. He texts the group chat, "does anyone know where our master is? I can't find them." It sets off a long chain of messages.
"Master's not in their bedroom?"
"Master? Haven't seen 'em."
"Did you try yelling 'master!' and seeing if they respond?"
"I saw master getting something to drink about an hour ago."
"Master, are you reading our messages? I know you are."
"I can't believe master is ignoring us."
Several crying emoji are sent in quick succession.
Solomon and Barbatos, who witness the brothers doing this on occasion. Solomon turns to the latter and says, "You never call me your master. Want to give it a try?"
Barbatos looks at him with barely repressed revulsion. "I only have one master, and that is the Young Master. If you ever make such a joke again I will have you tried in court for lese-majeste."
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One very slow news day when they're all bored as hell at work Lois is like. Okay. Fuck marry kill The Big Three. And Clark replies "oh easy fuck batman marry wonder woman kill Superman" and the entire office gets so mad at him like you KILL Superman our collective BEST FRIEND Superman????!?!?!?
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playing MTG with people who have been in the game for like 20 years is so insufferable sometimes
every turn they're like "I play Cock Goblin of Guzzleberg" and everyone else at the table nods and goes "ah yes of course, the Cock Goblin, classic" and doesn't explain.
so I'm like okay. what does that do. and they go "well it has a Guzzler effect" and I'm like okay great what the FUCK is a Guzzler Effect™
and then after like 10 minutes of trying to get them to explain, eventually I figure out that there was a card called Guzzler Greebling that was only printed ONCE in 1998, and its text was "when this creature ETBs, everyone at the table has to suck your dick" and this card got so popular in Standard at the time that now all effects that involve dick-sucking are called "Guzzlers" by the players
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