What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
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One-Shot: A Shadow’s Legacy
Summary:
When Azriel and Y/N are tasked with babysitting Nyx, it stirs unexpected emotions and deep conversations about their future. As new challenges and surprises unfold, they face their fears and dreams together. Discover how their journey leads to a life-changing revelation and a heartwarming new chapter in their lives.
Word Count: 2343
Warnings: None
The serene twilight of Velaris was just beginning to settle as Azriel and Y/N arrived at the River House. Feyre and Rhysand had asked them to babysit Nyx for the evening while they attended a diplomatic meeting. Y/N had been thrilled by the request, her eyes sparkling with excitement, but Azriel seemed more apprehensive.
"Thank you for this," Feyre said, handing a giggling Nyx to Y/N. "It means a lot to us."
Y/N beamed. "We're happy to help. Aren't we, Azriel?"
Azriel nodded stiffly, his eyes on the tiny winged infant. "Of course," he said, though the edge of his voice suggested he was far from comfortable.
As Feyre and Rhysand departed, Y/N turned to Azriel with a playful grin. "Relax, Az. It's just one night."
Azriel huffed, crossing his arms. "I’m not sure I'm the best choice for this. I'm better with enemies, not infants."
Y/N laughed softly, adjusting Nyx in her arms. "You'll be fine. Besides, look at this little guy. He’s adorable."
Nyx cooed, reaching out to tug at Y/N's hair with a delighted giggle. Her heart melted instantly, and she found herself imagining what it would be like to have a child of her own. A child with Azriel’s dark hair and hazel eyes.
She shook the thought away, focusing on the present. "Let’s get him settled."
The evening went smoothly enough. Nyx was a cheerful baby, full of laughter and curiosity. Y/N was a natural, playing with him and making him laugh, while Azriel watched from a cautious distance. Every time Nyx made a sudden movement or loud noise, Azriel would tense, as if expecting an ambush.
Eventually, it was time for Nyx’s bedtime. Y/N carried him to his nursery, Azriel trailing behind. As she rocked Nyx gently, singing a soft lullaby, Azriel lingered by the door, his eyes softening as he watched the scene.
"Az," Y/N called softly, "come say goodnight."
He hesitated but finally stepped forward, his usually composed features revealing a hint of uncertainty. He reached out, brushing a gentle hand over Nyx's tiny wing. "Goodnight, little one," he murmured, his voice surprisingly tender.
Nyx gurgled happily, his eyes drooping as he succumbed to sleep. Y/N carefully placed him in his crib and turned to find Azriel watching her, a contemplative look in his eyes.
"See? You’re a natural," she whispered, smiling.
Azriel shrugged, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips. "You’re the natural. I’m just trying not to break anything."
Y/N moved closer, taking his hand. "You did great. And...seeing you with Nyx tonight made me think."
Azriel raised an eyebrow. "Think about what?"
She took a deep breath, her heart pounding. "About the future. About having a family. With you."
Azriel's eyes widened, surprise and emotion flickering across his face. "Y/N, I...I never thought about it. I never imagined...children."
Y/N squeezed his hand. "I know it’s a lot to think about. But seeing you with Nyx, it just felt right. Like this is something we could do. Together."
He was silent for a moment, his eyes searching hers. Then he pulled her into a gentle embrace, his wings cocooning them in warmth. "If it’s with you," he whispered, "then I think I could do anything."
Y/N smiled against his chest, feeling a rush of love and certainty. "We’ll take it one step at a time. But I know you’ll be an amazing father, Az."
As they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, Y/N knew that whatever the future held, they would face it together. And with Azriel by her side, she felt ready for anything.
The next day, Azriel found himself in the training grounds with Rhysand and Cassian. The morning sun cast a golden glow over the landscape, and the crisp air was filled with the sound of clashing swords and laughter as the Illyrian warriors trained.
Rhysand and Cassian noticed Azriel’s contemplative silence as they sparred. Finally, Cassian, never one to shy away from a probing question, lowered his sword and approached Azriel with a curious look.
"Alright, Az. Spill it. What’s got you so lost in thought today?" Cassian asked, wiping the sweat from his brow.
Rhysand joined them, a knowing smile on his face. "Yes, Azriel. You’ve been unusually quiet, even for you. Something on your mind?"
Azriel hesitated, glancing around to ensure they were alone. Taking a deep breath, he decided to confide in his brothers. "It’s about Y/N. And Nyx."
Rhysand's smile widened. "Ah, the babysitting adventure. How did it go?"
Azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It went fine. Y/N was amazing with Nyx, as expected. But it made her think about the future. About having a family. With me."
Cassian's eyes widened in surprise. "Whoa. That’s big."
Rhysand's expression softened with understanding. "And how do you feel about it, Az?"
Azriel shifted uncomfortably, his wings twitching. "I don’t know. I’ve never thought about having children. With my past, with everything I’ve done...I’m not sure I’d be a good father."
Cassian clapped a reassuring hand on Azriel’s shoulder. "You’re not alone in feeling that way, Az. We all have our doubts. But you’ve got a good heart. And Y/N clearly believes in you."
Rhysand nodded in agreement. "Azriel, you’re one of the most honorable and caring people I know. You’ve protected this family, this court, with everything you have. I have no doubt you’d be a wonderful father."
Azriel’s eyes flickered with a mixture of relief and uncertainty. "But what if I can’t protect them? What if I fail?"
Cassian’s gaze was steady, his voice firm. "You won’t. And even if you stumble, you’ve got us. We’re family, Az. We’ll be there to support you and your family, no matter what."
Rhysand added, "Trust yourself, Az. You’re stronger than you realize. And you deserve happiness, a family of your own."
Azriel looked between his two brothers, feeling a warmth spread through his chest. Their words were reassuring, a reminder that he wasn’t alone in his fears. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I needed to hear that."
Cassian grinned. "Anytime, brother. Now, let’s get back to training. Can’t have you going soft on us, future dad or not."
Azriel chuckled, the tension easing from his shoulders as they returned to their sparring. The conversation with Rhysand and Cassian had given him much to think about, but for the first time, he felt a glimmer of hope about the future Y/N had envisioned for them.
As they trained, Azriel resolved to talk to Y/N again, to share his fears and hopes, and to take that next step together. Because with her by his side, he believed they could face anything— even the daunting prospect of starting a family.
That evening, Azriel found Y/N in the garden of the River House, surrounded by blooming night-blooming flowers that seemed to glow under the moonlight. She was sitting on a stone bench, gazing up at the stars. The sight of her, so peaceful and radiant, filled him with a sense of calm.
He approached quietly, his footsteps barely making a sound on the soft grass. "Y/N," he called gently, not wanting to startle her.
She turned, a smile spreading across her face when she saw him. "Azriel. Join me?"
He nodded, taking a seat beside her. For a moment, they sat in comfortable silence, the night sounds of Velaris creating a serene backdrop. Finally, Azriel took a deep breath, ready to open up about the thoughts that had been swirling in his mind all day.
"I talked to Rhys and Cassian today," he began, his voice steady but soft. "About what you said last night. About having a family."
Y/N’s eyes widened slightly, a mix of curiosity and apprehension in her gaze. "And what did they say?"
Azriel smiled faintly. "They were supportive. They think I’d make a good father."
Y/N reached out, taking his hand in hers. "They’re right, you know."
He squeezed her hand, his expression serious. "But I have my doubts, Y/N. My past...the things I’ve done. I worry that I’m not capable of being the kind of father a child deserves."
She moved closer, her eyes searching his. "Az, everyone has a past. But it’s who you are now that matters. And you are one of the most caring, protective, and honorable people I know. You’ve saved so many lives, including mine. That’s what matters."
He looked down, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. "I’m afraid of failing you. Of not being able to protect you and any children we might have."
Y/N cupped his cheek, making him look at her. "Azriel, you’ve never failed me. You’re always there, always strong. But it’s okay to be afraid. We’ll face those fears together. Just like we do everything else."
Her words soothed the turmoil inside him, her unwavering faith in him a balm to his doubts. He took a deep breath, feeling a sense of clarity and resolve. "I want this, Y/N. I want a family with you. But I need you to know that I’m scared."
She smiled, her eyes shining with love. "We’ll figure it out together, Az. One step at a time. And I’ll be right here with you, every step of the way."
Azriel pulled her into a gentle embrace, his wings enveloping them both in a cocoon of warmth. "Thank you," he whispered against her hair. "For believing in me. For believing in us."
Y/N hugged him tightly, her heart full. "Always, Az. Always."
As they sat there under the stars, wrapped in each other’s arms, Azriel felt a newfound sense of hope and determination. With Y/N by his side, he felt ready to face the future—whatever it might hold. And for the first time, he allowed himself to dream of a family, a life filled with love and happiness, with her.
A few months later, Y/N stood in front of the mirror in their bedroom, her heart pounding in her chest. She had suspected it for a while, but now it was confirmed. She was expecting a child.
Taking a deep breath, she placed a hand on her still-flat stomach, a mixture of excitement and nervousness swirling within her. She knew she needed to tell Azriel, but the weight of the news made her hesitate. How would he react?
Gathering her courage, she went to find Azriel. He was in the library, engrossed in a book, his wings folded neatly behind him. As she approached, he looked up, a smile lighting up his face.
"Hey," he greeted, setting the book aside. "Everything okay?"
Y/N took his hand, her fingers trembling slightly. "Az, I have something to tell you."
Concern flickered in his eyes as he stood, his hands gently cupping her face. "What is it, love?"
She took a deep breath, her eyes meeting his. "I'm pregnant."
For a moment, there was silence. Then, Azriel’s eyes widened, his expression a mix of shock and wonder. "Y/N...are you serious?"
She nodded, tears of joy welling in her eyes. "Yes, Az. We’re going to have a baby."
A slow, radiant smile spread across his face, and he pulled her into a tight embrace, his wings wrapping around them both. "We’re going to have a baby," he repeated, awe in his voice. "I can’t believe it."
Y/N laughed through her tears, holding him close. "Believe it, Az. We’re going to be parents."
They stood there for a long moment, reveling in the joy of the news. Finally, Azriel pulled back slightly, his eyes shining with love. "We need to tell the others. They’ll be thrilled."
A few hours later, the Night Court gathered in the main hall of the River House. Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, Mor, and Amren were all present, curiosity evident on their faces.
Rhysand raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "You called us all here for a reason, Azriel. What’s going on?"
Azriel exchanged a glance with Y/N, his hand squeezing hers for reassurance. Together, they stepped forward.
"We have some news," Y/N began, her voice steady but filled with emotion. "We’re expecting a baby."
The room erupted in cheers and congratulations. Feyre rushed forward, enveloping Y/N in a warm hug. "That’s wonderful news!" she exclaimed. "I’m so happy for you both."
Cassian clapped Azriel on the back, a proud grin on his face. "Looks like you’re going to be a dad, brother. Congratulations."
Mor hugged them both, tears in her eyes. "I’m so happy for you two."
Even Amren, usually stoic, offered a rare smile. "Congratulations. The child will be lucky to have you both as parents."
As the celebrations continued, Azriel and Y/N shared a quiet moment together, their hands intertwined. "We did it," Y/N whispered, her eyes shining with happiness.
Azriel kissed her forehead, his heart full. "Yes, we did."
Months later, Y/N was in the birthing room, Azriel by her side. The labor was intense, but she drew strength from his steady presence. Finally, with one last push, the cries of their newborn filled the room.
The healer gently placed their baby girl in Y/N’s arms. She had tiny wings, just like her father, and dark hair that framed her cherubic face.
Azriel looked down at their daughter, tears in his eyes. "She’s beautiful," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion.
Y/N smiled, exhausted but elated. "She looks just like you, Az."
He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to their daughter’s forehead. "Welcome to the world, little one," he murmured. "We love you so much."
As they cradled their newborn daughter, surrounded by the love and support of their family, Azriel felt a profound sense of peace and fulfillment. This was their new beginning, a future filled with love, joy, and the promise of a lifetime of happiness together.
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