#No lmfao it’s that I just can’t physically handle concerts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-invisible-queer · 5 months

Note

Sooooo for the anon who asked (and for you of course, if you're interested), I've compiled a lazy timeline of Joe's relationship history - just things I remembered off-hand, no researching or fact-checking or anything. I'm truly sorry for how fucking long it is lmao, tbh you may want to copy and paste it into a text post so you can put a Read More bc holy shit why has this man had so many relationships and WHY DID I REMEMBER SO MUCH OF IT WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. As a disclaimer my level of JB obsession has varied a lot over the years, so some of these relationships I know a lot more about than others just based on how closely I was following Joe at the time, and again I didn't research literally anything here so it's possible some of it may be misremembered. Okay here we go:

Mandy, who the OG song Mandy was written about, was the first Joe romantic interest fans ever knew about. I don’t remember anymore if they were actually even together at all or if he just like had a crush on her or something, but he was definitely into her to some degree when he was very young.

He dated AJ Michalka from Aly and AJ for some unknown length of time when they were like 15-16. He eventually revealed that she was his first kiss, she miiiiight have said he was hers too but I also could have imagined that. For a long time it was rumored that Potential Breakup Song was about him, but years and years later while answering fan questions on Twitter AJ finally said it wasn’t, but a different breakup song called Flattery was. (First known appearance of Joe Jonas: Serial Muse Extraordinaire. It would take two more strikes for him to finally seemingly learn that he should probably stop dating and dumping songwriters.)

For a hot minute he was rumored to be dating Miley’s friend/backup dancer Mandy (of The Miley and Mandy Show fame) during the Best of Both Worlds Tour, but I genuinely to this day don’t know if that was true or not lol. I remember a couple vaguely 👀 pictures existing of the two of them but they also both seemed to just be physically affectionate people in general, so they truly could have just been friends.

Joe met Taylor Swift in 2008 and, as teenagers sometimes do, they had what seemed to be a brief but intense relationship that then exploded into a dramatic mess. He famously broke up with her via a 27-second phone call, she famously exposed this on the Ellen show, and then they both spent the next couple years just publicly whacking each other at random opportunities before the bad blood (no pun intended) between them seemed to dry up and they gradually became friends, especially once Joe started dating Gigi Hadid who was already close friends with Taylor. A lot of bangers came out of this relationship and breakup on Taylor’s end – I can’t pretend that songs like Jump Then Fall and Last Kiss weren’t integral to my young Joe girl fantasies about the kind of boyfriend he was, really appreciated that very descriptive imagery – but IIRC the only JB song specifically known to be about her was Much Better. The Jaylor arc eventually wrapped up with both of them saying it was silly teen drama they laugh about now and each making gestures of amends (him changing the live lyrics of Much Better to acknowledge that they’re cool with each other, her saying she regretted putting him on blast on Ellen and should have handled it differently) and she sent him and Sophie a baby present before Willa was born. ALSO: one of my favorite bits of hilariously random Joe lore ever is that in 2015 he went to one of Taylor’s concerts and hung out with her brother, who at one point very literally had Joe’s tiny ass sitting on his shoulders while they vibed to the music. Like…okay then lmfao.

Next was Camilla Belle, who he met when she starred in the Lovebug music video. I’d be remiss not to acknowledge that the public Taylor/Camilla timeline was a bit messy and it’s not entirely clear to this day if there was any overlap or if he fully dumped Taylor before pursuing the new object of his interests, but either way it was pretty clear at the time that he didn’t really behave wonderfully there. Maybe watching Nick start living out his own fuckboy love triangle era around this time inspired him. Regardless, he and Camilla were together for I want to say several months at least before he seemed to get his heart broken pretty badly. I was kind of getting less involved in Jonas fandom by then due to some new fixation I was having instead so I don’t really remember what happened between them, if we ever even knew to begin with, but I do remember him seeming pretty torn up over her for a hot minute there. The one other bit of Camilla lore I remember was that there was apparently some drama at the beginning because Joe and Nick both liked her, which in hindsight is extremely ?????????? all around bc 1) Nick was like 16 and I'm pretty sure Camilla was like 22, he absolutely should not have even been in that conversation at all, 2) Joe probably shouldn't have been in the conversation at all either considering he literally already had a girlfriend at the time and 3) genuinely the very last thing Nick should have been doing in 2008 was trying to pick up a THIRD girl as if his plate wasn't more than full enough already? Was his little ass trying to build a harem??? ANYWAY.

I think Demi was next after Camilla, but again I was falling out of keeping close track of the Jonaii during this time so this is where things start getting pretty fuzzy. I want to say they got together at some point during the filming of Camp Rock 2, or maybe during the press tour for it? and their relationship was fairly highly-publicized, including a professional joint photoshoot and interview they did for some magazine which awkwardly released like right after they broke up lol. While Demi’s feelings seem to have been fully genuine, Joe revealed (or at least implied, I honestly never read what he said about this firsthand lol I just heard about it a lot) at some point years later that he’d felt pressured into dating her by Disney/his team for publicity reasons. I withhold judgment on that aspect since this was obviously a super fucked up situation neither of those very young people should have ever been put in by their employers in the first place, but regardless he clearly went on to hurt her in some way bc she wrote a lot of heartbroken songs about him (including some she co-wrote with Nick, which he’s said was very awkward for him lmao). The song Sorry from Fastlife – not to be confused with Sorry from ALBL, which was about Miley – is commonly thought to be about Demi, though idk if that was ever officially confirmed or not. They clearly worked things out at some point though, because for several years in the 2010s they seemed to be fairly close friends…until they weren’t anymore. It’s still not clear if something happened between them specifically or if Joe sided with his brother in whatever fallout destroyed her friendship with Nick or what, but for a while Demi appeared to be on pretty bad terms with all the brothers. Nowadays she and Joe seem to be okay with each other – they hung out at her Halloween party a few years ago and seemingly had a good time together, and I think they sometimes like each other’s IG posts and such – but alas, the glory days of their friendship seem to be over for good.

At some point somewhere in all of this Joe dated Brenda Song for like three weeks or something??? We know almost nothing about this fling except that it happened. I constantly manage to forget about this and every single time I remember I’m just as surprised as I was the first time I learned it.

I wasn’t paying much attention at all when Ashley Greene showed up in Joe’s life so I genuinely don’t remember when that happened – I feel like it could potentially have been anywhere from late-ish 2009 to early-ish 2011 – or how long they lasted. I do remember that he always seemed happy with her and from what little I saw of them I thought they looked more serious than any of his past relationships had. She apparently inspired most of Fastlife. At some point they broke up, which as far as I know wasn’t dramatic (at least not publicly) but again, I was barely keeping up with Joe at the time. Years later, he revealed in a Reddit AMA that he lost his virginity to her.

I vaguely recall him going on like one or two dates with various random women in the early 2010s, none of whom seemed to stick for very long before being replaced with another. The only somewhat notable one of these women was model Natashia Ho; we’ll come back to that in a minute.

At some point in 2012 he started dating artist Blanda Eggenschwiler, who would become his longest and most serious relationship until Sophie. They seemed very happy together and posted each other on IG a lot. At some point he got a tattoo inspired by one of her paintings, which he still has and presumably has no plans to ever remove or cover up. In early 2013 there was a wild and hysterical rumor about a sex tape of the two of them that allegedly involved, among other things, Joe getting paddled with a ball gag in his mouth – during the initial hilarious drama of this rumor dropping Natashia Ho, previously all but forgotten about by fans, tweeted “Yea sounds about right” and then deleted it shortly after which was…honestly probably still the funniest thing any Jonas ex has ever done tbh. An icon. ANYWAY: My most vivid memory from this relationship is that during the big drama of the band breaking up (though at the time we didn’t know yet that was what was going on, just that the tour that had been about to start got cancelled super suddenly and everyone was being weird and vague about why and Joe and Kevin seemed upset), we got several days of sad or anxious-looking Joe candids in a row, and then the first time we saw him smiling again after everything exploded was when Blanda was with him ❤️ Most of the fandom liked Blanda a lot and and we quietly suspected for a while there that she was the woman he was going to marry (he may have also thought this himself at one time), but alas, they shocked us all by announcing their breakup in I believe August of 2014. As far as I remember there was never any post-breakup drama or anything between them and she just kind of faded away from fandom consciousness, except for one incident I remember from a few months after the breakup where she posted like a half-finished drawing of a face that looked suspiciously similar to Joe’s on her IG, leading to a lot of speculation and debate among fans about if it was supposed to be him or not and what, if anything, it meant if it was. (The answer apparently was that it meant nothing, because they didn’t get back together or anything, although I’m not sure if that’s even what we were expecting anyway. In hindsight that whole situation was just kinda dumb and pointless lmao but it kept us entertained for days regardless.)

Joe and Gigi Hadid started dating in I want to say early 2015. I was barely paying attention at this point and genuinely have no recollection at all of how long this relationship lasted – I feel like it was pretty short-lived but idk – but it went on at least long enough for her to direct the Cake By The Ocean music video, so there’s that I guess. Gigi got back with her ex Zayn very shortly after they broke up and Joe apparently made some kind of comment (again, I never read it just heard about it) implying that he was somewhat bitter about this. When asked at some point not super long after their breakup to play Fuck/Marry/Kill with three of his famous exes, he said he would kill Gigi (and marry Demi and fuck Taylor, if anyone's curious). If there was any further Joegi lore after that, I either never knew it or don’t remember it.

Joe and Sophie started talking in DMs and then hanging out in person at some unspecified point in 2016, but weren’t publicly spotted together until late in the year – IIRC they were first seen together in group pics from some random Halloween party, but no one really seemed to put two and two together until a few days later when they were caught fully making out at a Kings of Leon concert lol. They got engaged roughly a year later in October 2017, got Vegas-married in May 2019 and then married-married in France in June 2019, and welcomed two baby girls in July 2020 and July 2022 respectively. I’m choosing to stop here bc you said you know the most recent stuff and I don’t want to make myself sad lol 🙃

OKAY WELL that was long as hell and made me feel lowkey pathetic for knowing all this lmao but hopefully it satisfied your thirst for tea, anon. Now to start working on Nick's timeline... 🫡

HOLY SHIT BESTIE

I'm on mobile so I can't actually copy and paste that whole thing so y'all gonna have to deal with it

Rest in RIP to everyone's dashes

And the fact that I did know all of these and just forgot about a few but didn't know timeliness specifically

I guess I did have Joe's dating timeline in my head at some point which is on brand because I've never actually been normal about him

Did he or did he not date Chelsea Kane (Stella on Jonas) because I saw some online speculation about it because they were hanging out a lot - fully can respect them being friends just wanna point out their onscreen chemistry was incredible so I wouldn't be surprised if it flowed into their personal life

Thank you for this run down

If anyone questions me calling Joe a whore ever again I'm gonna send them this post

#long post #long text post #text post

2 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1240

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? I can’t make any dish. I wonder when I’ll get my ass up and start learning...

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? I wouldn’t dare; I have no skills in that department at all.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Angela and Hans came over so we can watch Sowoozoo.

How many long term relationships have you been in? One.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? My default is lights out, but sometimes I’ll fall asleep with my night lamp still on and that’s fine too.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? I don’t really do forgiving.

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? No. I’ve tried listening to her songs but I find them too slow for my liking.

Do you know your blood type? It’s O but I keep forgetting what specific type.

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes.

Have you got your period at the moment? It’s on its last few days.

Have you ever been pregnant? Nopes.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? I was around 10 or 11, can’t remember exactly. But it was in 2009 and we headed to Boracay.

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? No. OMG, adult activity I don’t quite understand just yet hfdhfkdjfhdf.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yeah they’re both grumbling right now just outside of my room because the power went out lmfao.

When was the last time you went apple picking? I’ve never done this. Apples don’t grow here.

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? My pay for the last two weeks haha, but that’s not coming until Friday.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? No, I wouldn’t dare. I’m pretty unpredictable when I get drunk, so I’d rather stay safe haha. I’ve worked while tipsy, but it had been outside of work hours.

How many bedrooms are in your house? 4. One for each kid, then my parents’.

Are you smart about computers? Nah.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? We didn’t have the game on our Wii, but I’ve played Just Dance before, just at other peoples’ houses.

Do you own a Xbox 360? We were a Playstation household.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? Erm, sure, whatever.

So, do you need a nap? I think I should be taking one for the sake of my health, but I won’t.

What would you rather be doing? I stumbled upon a Facebook post of this newly-opened store in Greenhills that exclusively sells photocards and I wanna head the fuck over there rn with Angela. That store concept is practically unheard of so it’s a big deal and I wanna go there as I’m 100% sure the BTS ones would sell out pretty fast. But they heightened the stupid COVID protocols yet again and we have to stay at home, so there’s that.

What sport are you the best at? Table tennis.

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah but she’s turning 21 this year, so little wouldn’t be accurate anymore. We call her Nina at home but everyone else calls her by her full first name, Janina.

Do you complain a lot? I do complain a lot but I also do the thing that is causing the complaint right after so I can shut myself up lmao.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? Both sound fun but I’ll probably take the temple. Yay for learning something new about culture!!

Do you like fruity or minty gum? I don’t mind flavor when it comes to gum because they fade out anyway.

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? My company set another mental health break day this upcoming August 27th, so I’ll be thinking about that day throughout the month.

Have you ever gotten detention? We don’t have detention.

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? Sure.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? The latter. < Same. I can be brand-conscious sometimes, but generally if I find something cute, regardless from where I found it, I’d grab it.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? Technically yeah. It was a single album.

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I already have two of them.

Ever cried so much you threw up? Possibly.

Who is your best guy friend? Hans.

What do you two do when you hang out? We usually eat out and have a drink or two.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Spotlight, just because it looked boring at first glance. It turned out to be very riveting and the screenplay was fascinating as well.

Do you even like horror movies? Yes, but they’re best watched with other people.

Do you live in the country? Nopes.

What is your favorite accent? I don’t have one.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? No.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? I had the chance to try out Pepsi when we went to Taco Bell two weeks ago - it was my first time to have it and it was...actually pretty good??? The soda-hater in me was scandalized HAHAHA but it was good!!! I think I prefer Pepsi now.

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? My 21st birthday started out terribly because Gabie’s family didn’t want her to hang out with me on a Sunday (the day my birthday fell on), so we were in an argument the whole day. Angela saved the day when she planned out an impromptu dinner + arcade date for me, and that was the only good part of the day, really. I’d rather forget the rest of it.

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? I don’t think so.

Do you take a lot of pictures? I’m starting to, now.

What kind of face wash do you use? Good ol’ water.

Does drama always seem to follow you? Not these days.

Does anybody in your family race? Nope.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? Dad, I guess. But I wouldn’t particularly call myself ‘close’ with either.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I never received money from them.

How long do you want to live with your parents? Maybe up until my mid-20s? Late-20s at the latest. I’m not exactly in the position to move out yet. The money I make at the moment would probably just be enough to cover rent, and just rent. I’d end up starving to death hahaha.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? Sure.

Do you secretly like someone? I don’t.

Would you ever date your best male friend? No. I also wouldn’t do that to Angela.

What are you currently listening to? Moon by Jin! Such a comfort song.

Do you want to be single? Yes.

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in and was knocked out pretty early since I had been up since 1 AM.

Have you pretended to like someone? No. I don’t see why I would have to that.

How is your heart lately? Just filled with nothing but Bangtan at this point haha. It’s doing well!

Are you wearing socks? No. Socks bother me for the most part; they make my feet feel a bit suffocated.

What do people call you? Robyn.

Do you get stressed out easily? Yeah, I’m quite the overthinker.

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No, I’ve never actually been inside an ambulance, whether it came for me or for another person.

What is wrong with you right now? I should probably cut back on the vaping, for one.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? No.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? It’s hard for me to sleep with someone else. Even when I had been in a relationship, I usually only got to fall asleep an hour or so after my partner already dozed off.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No, I cut ties at the start of the year and have been substantially better since then.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? I honestly don’t think so. I’m the bigger crybaby between us.

Did you get any compliments today? My mom thanked me for covering for Cooper’s shots today since they ended up being quite costly.

Have you ever gone to a beach? Yes, it’s one of my absolute favorite places to be.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? Pass up on the offer.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? I’ve never had the ample time to, so no. I’ve always wanted to volunteer at an animal shelter, though.

Do you have long nails? They’re not dramatically long, but they have started to grow out.

Do you like the gender you are? I don't like or dislike it, honestly. I'm just neutral. < Same.

Do you generally look nice in photos? I think this is the case these days, yeah. I’ve started feeling more confident and I think it’s able to translate in photos.

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? No.

What colour are your father’s eyes? Dark brown.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? BTS DUH

Name three facts about your family? I come from a family of lawyers; many of us are big history buffs; and many are also fantastic cooks so I don’t know where that talent could have possibly gone when it come to my generation hah.

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? If I’ve reached a certain level of investment in the relationship, I could probably handle it.

What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received? A Punk shirt and Petals For Armor physical CD from Andi this last Christmas.

What’s your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. < Yessssss!

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? I don’t.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? Carving pumpkins sounds fun, especially since I haven’t tried it before.

Do you think you’re important? Idk. I don’t really like drawing attention to myself though, so that could probably answer your question.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Andi wrote a letter for me to accompany the aforementioned Christmas gifts they gave, and it remains to be my favorite letter I’ve received. They essentially reminded and affirmed me that I’m stronger than I think I am, and that I’ve been through a lot and have grown a lot, and that that growth is seen by people around me.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? No.

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? Just to different cities, but considering how tiny my country is, the move is quite insignificant lol.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? I’m 100% sure I don’t know how to properly hold chopsticks, but I have my own way and it works lol. Fake it til you make it.

Are you more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a follower, but I can step up in certain situations. < Same. I don’t mind leading, especially considering the control freak I can be lolol.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten anything today. I skipped breakfast since I brought Cooper to the vet, and by the time I got back the dining table had already been cleared. It’s fine though, I don’t feel too hungry.

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? I’d be with Angela, Reena, and Hans at that insane new photocard store I talked about earlier. IDEALLY, we’d probably pick up a photocard or two if the ones we want aren’t sold out yet (lol a rarity), then we’d have some nachos and stuff right after and just talk about all things Bangtan lol with Hans cracking us up the whole time since he is just naturally hilarious.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? Content. Happy. I feel warm and loved and surrounded by the best people.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? Learning how to cook is one.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? Not really.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? Being in the purple ocean with my best friends.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? A part of me wishes my final face-to-face conversation with Gabie had been a more solid closure, just so we could finally put a hard stop to that chapter. But at that time I thought we would continue talking, so there had still been some stuff lingering in the air when we called it a day and parted ways. So in a sense we never really got closure when I finally cut ties, which the ESTJ in me remains to be nagged by, but I try not to be bothered by it anymore considering how much better I am doing right now. We didn’t know the future at the time, so it’s okay the way things turned out, ultimately.

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I have no clue. It’s not really a priority.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? I’m fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ Nah.

How many drugs are in your system? Just caffeine.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? Werkwerkwerkwerk.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? Nopes.

Do you call anyone baby? I don’t.

What’s your current mood? I’m prety neutral. I wish I could be out right now, but stupid Covid and stupid quarantine. But I don’t really mind staying at home, either, so. I’m just so-so.

Do you think you are a good person? I hope so.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? I watched Sunday mass with my family.

How late did you stay up last night? Around midnight.

When was the last time you cried really hard? I cried just a few days ago because period hormones, but the last time I cried hard? I’m not sure. April maybe?

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? LOL yes it’s soooooooo long already.

#survey #surveys

4 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 5 years

Text

Like, I definitely firmly believe that someday soon I will be able to finally resolve this whole jaw issue once and for all, because like....I have to, lol, that’s literally how I get up in the morning.

But just...lmao its so weird to think about how I really have no idea how to picture my life after that point, because like....every day is a ridiculous onslaught of ridiculous that keeps me so stressed, panicked, desperate and oh yeah in pain, to the point of not being able to have a single life goal, ambition or like....future event I want to do, because its almost all about ‘must make today’s rent and food by the end of today so I can eat and sleep and oh yeah also another $800 by the end of each month so I can continue to enjoy even the possibility of this not being the state of my existence for the rest of my life.

Wow, that came out way more pity party than I intended, lmfao, because like the whole point of this post and why I started writing it was not like oh look at me, my life sucks so many balls, whine whine, a little bit of cheese, barrels of more whine. Like, believe it or not I was kinda rolling my eyes while typing out that above paragraph and literally laughing in that “look I know its not funny but I’m still laughing because fuck you that’s why” kinda way.

Bizarre as it may seem, this is actually intended as an optimistic kinda post? And like....the result of me doing deep breathing exercises and making a concerted effort to be optimistic today? Because the point is, the above has been the day to day state of my existence for almost two straight years (look, I’m not SAYING all things straight are bad, but hey if you can, be gay, do crimes). And its definitely not like my life was all sunshine and roses before that, lmfao, but at least there were breaks in the storm clouds, like...I had actually hills and valleys of suck but also wahoo! It wasn’t like........the constant annoying beep that accompanies a flatlining heart monitor, but also somehow seems to keep descending.

Like, I can handle sucky events, as long as I can find that bit of normalcy in between, and I mean, I feel like the fact that I’m still here and have at no point really entertained the thought of not still being at this point, like, it kinda lends credence to the idea that I can also handle sucky events even when I CAN’T find any bit of normalcy in between. I don’t LIKE to, because who would, lmfao, but I can, and do, and will continue to do so.

Its just.....I mean bottom line of where this whole train of thought started and was aimed at is.....its been so long since I wasn’t just preoccupied day to day with constant chronic pain and stress and an unknown future or how long this would last, as well as repeated attempts to fix things that have managed to end up just being a disappointment at every turn so far.....like....I’ve literally forgotten what it FEELS like to not wake up every day in pain and spend the whole day worrying about making enough money to still have somewhere to sleep before the day is over. LOLOLOL, like the bar is super low, I’m aware, but like....I remember that state of existence exists, and that I’ve definitely enjoyed it in the past and have every hope of doing so in the future, its just....I don’t remember how it FEELS for this not to be the only thing on my mind, 24-7.

And I’m so looking forward to that, to feeling that again, even if I can’t picture it at the moment, because like...I’m anticipating how MIND-BLOWING it’ll be, the first time I can spend a whole day just...enjoying myself. With no interruptions, no pain. And as crazy as it may sound, I’m so lucky in that I know that day is even out there? Like I know that as bad as things have gotten for me over the past two years, I can hold out hope that there is an actual end point to THIS state of existence, that it is a specific problem with a specific solution, and once I find it, so much about my life will change because I’ll be able to stand on my feet for hours at a time, go running, exercise, all things that I enjoy and use to keep myself centered, I’ll be able to take a day to just go to the movies even if its just by myself and like, have a fucking chewy pretzel without having to worry that doing so will actually be the thing that finally fractures my jaw beyond repair, lmfao.

And the thing is.....as sucky as the last two years have been.....constantly, day to day....its not like they’ve been nothing BUT suck. I may not have had a single day in the past two years where there hasn’t been at least SOME pain, SOME stress, SOME inescapable awareness of like....all the things I can’t do and the reasons why, all the things I desperately want to do but can’t afford or physically am incapable of, but none of that means that through all this time I haven’t also had tons of good moments to carry me through.

Because I have. And I’m so thankful for them. Even if they seem miniscule to other people in comparison, they mean everything to me, because any moment that takes my mind off all the things that are wrong or that suck and just lets me laugh and MEAN it, be truly entertained, any moment where I’m more preoccupied with being inspired by an idea or something someone said or something I’m picturing, any moment where I’m just smacked in the face with the undeniable truth that I have some of the best friends on the planet and who love me unconditionally and are here for me even if its just to bombard me with cute animal pictures at 2 am so I go to bed with a smile on my face instead of focused on the pain...and the flip side of that, any moment where I’m able to feel good that I was able to provide one of my friends with that good moment for themselves, to make THEM laugh or be inspired or take their mind off their pain or troubles, like.....

Those good moments still exist, no matter what else exists or in what quantities. They still count. They still add up. And the point isn’t even about them needing to add up to some specific tally or quota or otherwise they don’t mean anything, or don’t mean enough....because each good moment exists purely on its own, for itself. There’s no POINT to them, they’re not FOR any specific purpose or outcome. They just exist. They simply are. And that’s all they need, in order to matter.

Because I firmly believe, and honestly always have, that ultimately, life is just about the good moments. They’re the things we focus on when times are hardest, they’re the things that spring to mind when we try and think of reasons to keep going. Because I mean...there ISN’T a specific tally of how many good moments you need to reach before life is worth living, before there’s a reason to be alive. Because each good moment is enough, all on its own. Each good moment, no matter how small it is in anyone else’s eyes, IS the reason to be alive. The whole reason. The only one anyone needs. Because the only way you get those good moments, those small snapshots that are for whatever reason, just wholly, undeniably GOOD and WORTH IT.....is by being alive. That’s the only way you ever get to have any more of them.

Like yeah, 90% of 99% of the days over the past two years might have epicly sucked for the most part, especially if we’re focusing on percentages, defining each day’s ‘success’ by whether or not I spent more of the day miserable or more of it enjoying myself...but when you say screw the percentages, the quotas the tallies....when you look just at the good moments, specifically, let each one of them matter by themselves and be worthwhile, worth EVERYTHING just in and of itself....

The whole picture changes. Because that one conversation I had with my friend Moukie on a day where I just laughed myself breathless at something he said.....that good moment wouldn’t exist if I threw in the towel before I got to it. That one story I loved and just blew me away with how perfectly it encapsulated everything I wanted from certain characters but that I would never have dreamed up myself, but that I kept thinking about days, even weeks after I read it.....that’s a story I wouldn’t have read if I only let the fact that it’d been seven months of chronic pain at that point, like, be the only thing that mattered. Instead of how just that one story made me feel, for however long I felt it. That one conversation, that one episode, that one post or tweet or daydream or whatever.

Anyway. I wasn’t intending to get all sappy or life coach woowoo or whatever, more just thinking out loud or in text, as I’m wont to do, and I use it to put my complaints to paper often enough I might as well use it to put the non-complaints to paper too, lmao.

But I mean. Yeah. Its the good moments that really matter, if you ask me. They’re what any of us are here for any way, no matter what form they take or how much space there is between them, but like....idk, I think we could all benefit from being reminded from time to time that they all count. They all matter. They’re the POINT. At least if you ask me, because if we’re not here to enjoy good moments in whatever shape or quantity we get to enjoy them, like, what other reason IS there, to spend however many years on this earth as we end up getting?

*Shrugs* So yeah. That’s it. That’s the point. Enjoy the good moments, and don’t forget to keep them somewhere you can queue them up when you need a reminder that they exist, they’re out there, you’ve had them before and no matter how long it takes, you’ll have them again. They’re what carry us through however much suck we have to wade through before we chance upon the next one, and the one after that and the one after that. And the more we carry with us, keep with us, THAT’S when the percentages start to matter, if by the end of it all we can say no matter what the actual quantities of good vs suck, or what shapes or sizes that good and that suck took....its the good moments that mattered most. Stuck with us most. Defined us most.

Anyway, that’s where my thoughts took me just now and it helped so maybe it’ll help someone else too, and if not. More verbal diarrhea, business as usual. Same place, same Batchannel. Tune in tomorrow, I’ll probably be bitching about Tim. Or hey, maybe I’ll surprise myself. Who knows?

7 notes · View notes

deveharrington · 6 years

Text

[17 new theories, Part 1/4] Part 1: The Fear Cycle. What these workout videos from Hell🔥 might be telling us: For David, Fitness Culture™ is not about health, but what it means in terms of proving something to himself (youth, capability, money, image etc.). Also analyzing his poor workout form: not what it is, but why? ALSO, considering the “relationship” non-romantically, and (thank you, anon!) is M*nique/Cool Girl™ scamming David with Fitness Culture™??!!

Ohh David baby, what the hell are you trying to show us right now? LMFAO??

Bruce Lee: Don’t think, FEEEEEEL! = David’s fave Bruce Lee quote, probably.

To anons, thank you so much! I tried to incorporate all of your asks in these discussions. Some of them will be posted and/or referenced in future parts.)

Overarching Theory: Everything and Nothing (will be explored in 4 separate discussions)

My dream theory: David did not grieve nor heal properly after the trauma of Gillovny ending/having a chance with Gillian and failing, again (feel free to completely ignore this very sappy theory if you wish to, lmao).

Theory that is probably closer to reality: He jumped straight into a fantasy to alleviate himself from some undefined trauma or, I can still see some sense in my earlier claim that he is just bored out of his mind. What we are seeing right now is his fantasy, still prolonged. And the fantasy right now is: Fitness Fakery™. Biggest theory (for now): he is being scammed with Fitness Culture™️, and this trap might more dangerous than, or the main hook of, the “relationship”.

Parts to explore:

Part 1: The Fear Cycle (David radiates fear, and scammers are drawn to it. David is keeping things light and controlled right now, matching his Cool Boy™️ self with a Cool Girl™️. But, just like Cool Girl™️/Boy™️, deep down within himself, David is something else: scared? fake? nothing? let’s explore)

+ Maybe he uses fear to manipulate others the same way others use fear to manipulate him. And the idea that he manipulates HIMSELF with fear.

Part 2: Identity Crisis (His artistic image > his art, Examining his art and the way he expresses himself with very broad strokes, never getting too personal. David wants very badly to be something he is not).

+ David’s actions right now might be an attempt to see a reflection of himself because he has lost sight of who he is. OR he is trying to build himself up because he feels inadequate.

I think in a lot of cases, his desire and ambition trump his actual skills, but he is still able to get what he wants through coercion, money, business, etc. However, at the end of the process, he is still left feeling unsatisfied.

Part 3: Pain and Pleasure (David has confused the two. For David, pain = pleasure = pain) ** elaborated below (under the header “Everything and Nothing”)

Part 4: “You didn’t love me enough” (Based on an excellent submission from an anon)

“You didn’t love me enough” = “So, I will act out and see who WILL love me as much as I need to be loved! Oh wait, I have nothing to offer but my money. Guess I can only attract SCAMMERS! Eh, bought love is still love for me, beggars can’t be choosers.”

+ Maybe David just doesn’t want to be a burden, I think he definitely does not like to ask for help (example: maybe this is why therapy was not the most effective treatment method for him). So:

** 🚨 Could it be that his actions right now are a cry for help (in his way), but what he wants is to see who, of those close to him, TRULY CARES? 🚨 ** I think he would accept help as long as those who are helping him are helping him of their own VOLITION. So, maybe he is trying to bait people but I think he is also so lost in his own mind and fantasies that he cannot process how awful he is coming across right now. Awful as in, it all really is a cry for help, and not just the "fitness” videos from Hell, but all of his other expressions and actions as well.

General Table of Contents:

Everything and Nothing

The Fear Cycle

Latest conclusions. (Biggest conclusion: he is currently pushing “how far he can go” because he has lost sight of himself.)

What does his poor form in his workouts tell us? (a lot!!)

Biggest theory: he is being scammed with Fitness Culture™️, and this trap might more dangerous than, or the main hook of, the “relationship”.

David is being fake (lead-in for future discussion on his identity crisis)

If Cool Girl™ is meant to be a reflection of his ego, does this make David a Cool Boy™? My answer: yes.

Is he literally so LOST and EMPTY within himself, that he would need to find fulfillment THROUGH THESE MEANS??

Overarching Theory: Everything and Nothing

David wants everything both ways. (I will also relate this to the workout videos from Hell, just keep this idea in mind going forward).

I think David wants to believe in too much meaning, building things up like a fantasy in his head, to justify the bullshit of his situations.

And, in turn, he removes the meaning from situations that are actually important (potential examples: why he’s always beating around the bush with Gillovny, can’t give a straight answer, and can’t commit, OR, looking at the other side of the coin, maybe they just wanted to keep things private). I think he removes meaning when he doesn’t want to deal with any situation that brings him discomfort, makes him challenge himself, or makes him evolve.

These two mental and emotional processes of adding and subtracting meaning go hand in hand. Perhaps what he wants is to pick and choose what he will address in life, when he will address it, with who, and how. And it is always in service of his needs over anyone else’s. Everyone knows this is not how reality works but it is how he has shaped his own reality. In sum, he lives in a fantasy.

Him telling us to “Be Here Now” is bullshit. Unless he is talking about his book signings, “concerts”, autograph sessions, etc. Notice that all these events have something in common? They are set up as communal events that ask you to come and see David in a context that is always like a temple of worship. Come, look at him, listen to him too, but don’t you dare ask any questions because he will always have the last word: "it all means nothing~~!”

He also confuses his work with his rest.

He confuses his passion with his burden.

He confuses productivity with wasting time.

In relation to this situation of the excessive exercise, for example, it could be seen as a conflation of work/rest, pain/pleasure, passion/burden. He has no notion of balance or boundaries because the two sides of his judgment scale are not defined.

And he deliberately leaves his judgment undefined

What is right and what is wrong? He doesn’t know, and doesn’t care. He’ll say that he lets anyone come up with their own mind but he will never join the conversation and try to contribute or change his perspective because he doesn’t give a sh*t about anyone but himself.

What is real and what is fake with David? I don’t know and he probably does not know himself.

I think he also has not realized that he is constantly walking in fear. He has confused his fear with safety, freedom, fantasy.

In the future, I will explore a batch of theories that discuss how he has, in the same way, confused his own notions of pain and pleasure, prolonging his pain because it brings him pleasure (attention, pity, he is bored - really!, it makes him interesting/edgy/cool/“that guy who’s been through things”) and mourning his pleasure because he also sees it as pain (it is like he is drawn to destructive pleasure, but then cannot handle the consequences so conflates pleasure with pain automatically… more on this later).

I also think that, when he is left feeling dissatisfied, he switches the definition of either pain or pleasure in his head in order to SATISFY HIMSELF. In sum, he lives in a complete fantasy.

And maybe he wants to be paired with someone who is as confused and suppressed as he is. Cool Girl™ confuses attention with accomplishment, obedience with love, compliance with partnership, suppression/reflection with identity etc.

Keep this in mind going forward. Even in the most literal sense of, the physical “pain” of exercising, the “pleasure” of feeling accomplished, etc

+ To this anon:

Please know that you have contributed to these theories as much as I have. The only difference between our expressions is that I said my piece in the most convoluted and wordy manner possible.

I had created the ideas of these new theories before I received your message, but your input turned so many ideas on their heads!

You lit a fire in my brain!!! And for that I thank you.

The rest of my answer to you anon, some more conclusions, the main questions of this post, being fair to David in response to the mean spirited comments about the workout videos from Hell, and Table of Contents are all under the cut. Thanks so much to anyone who reads this!

Response to anon continued:

Gerascophobia (perfect word for this situation), absolutely. And I will actually explore how David’s refusal to accept his age is actually becoming physically dangerous for him. I think it is also contributing to a possible identity crisis that he may be experiencing right now (I will explore this more in Part 2).

Thanatophobia, of course! I think David having 5 daily reminders on his phone that he will one day die (his own admission of one thing he uses his phone for) is actually doing a disservice to him. What I don’t like about the “we only have one life” thinking is that it makes you act recklessly. Add to this the fact that this attitude is not ideal for someone who already refuses to have a foundation of meaning and thought for his actions. Life does not last forever but it is not a rat race either. Life must consist of work and rest, silence and noise. Essentially, balance.

💣 [THEORY 64] David radiates fear, and scammers are drawn to it. Scammers validate and perpetuate David’s fears in order to prolong their scamming, A.K.A. The Fear Cycle.

And now, considering all of this fear that is bubbling beneath David’s calm, cool, spirit seems to be away from the body surface, let’s go ahead and quote a favorite artist of mine, Jenny Holzer’s, Inflammatory mantra on fear and manipulation:

FEAR FEEDS ON FEAR.

#BradNewYorkHobo #CoolGirlisHotCoolGirlisGameCoolGirlNeverGetsAngryatHerMan #Brick1stClassDoggie

all live by this:

David walks forward, but is constantly looking over his shoulder. His scammers are as well. This situation would be hilarious if it weren’t so desperately pathetic.

I want to try to simplify what I see as David’s fear cycle:

1. Because he does not involve himself in the real world or does research to educate himself, he is afraid of it.

2. He radiates fear (really) and the scammers are drawn to it.

2. Try not to take this point too harshly, but coming from these previous steps, I think its fair to conclude that David gets what he wants by imposing fear on others or uses fear as an emotional manipulation tactic. But he does not mean any harm. I say this mainly because what is within is expressed on the surface. Also, what is learned becomes your behavior.

He was once described as intimidating. What if he uses his “laid-back all-knowing sage” posturing as a way to do this? He intimidates others with his education, his apathy/lack of vulnerability, his smugness?

3. He lives in fear. He walks but is constantly looking over his shoulder.

4. Living in fear only further proves his own beliefs.

Thanks so much again, anon. And thank you especially for the first part of your ask! I won’t give up. We can’t give up!!!

Disclaimer

OK, lots of blah blah blah here so I tried to shorten this by bolding what’s important. I’ve also tried to label what I feel is very important with asterisks or emojis, lmao. There just is a lot of foundation to lay in order to see how all the pieces connect as a bigger whole.

🌟= important! lmao

🚨 = important within important!!

Latest conclusions:

- 🌟 David is not obsessed with or solely working for money. I think he is obsessed with wanting to push the bounds of “how far he can go”. ex: acting like a brat at cons while still getting paid, or proposing the most ambitious projects. This gym behaviour might be another manifestation, and if it is, it represents the discrepancy between what is going on in his head and what is going on in reality.

- 🌟🚨 ** I state that he wants to see “how far he can go” because he has lost sight of himself. He does not know who he is right now. (Did he ever imagine he would have a “relationship” [even considering it non-romantically] like this? Does he even associate it with his true self or who he wants to be?).

+ I still think his unpredictable career plays a role in the way he sees himself.

[Could an identity crisis be involved:]

- 🌟 When was the last time David did something on his own? From his own heart and by his own hands? When was the last time he expressed himself truly and fully?

- 🌟 When was the last time David spent time ALONE? I think the solution for him would be to take time away for himself right now.

[On the scamming:]

- 🌟 Ok, I’m sorry. I previously went in on David saying he is faking his innocence and humility, but what if he is actually a VERY innocent and genuinely nice guy? And this is why he keeps getting scammed? GOD if this is the case then i’m really sorry, David, for what I said, really!

- 🌟 🚨 If M*nique were being a GOOD gym buddy, she would have David’s health in her best interests. !!! The video evidence demonstrates otherwise, but i’ll still leave this thought open to being proven wrong for now.

- 🌟 AND My question then is this: For the amount of time D/M have spent together supposedly exercising, why is his form still so bad? And why does he still have chicken legs? (serious question, lmao) if he is doing the same routines as Monique? Fastest conclusion: he is not exercising properly, and nobody is not bothering to correct him??

- 🌟 I assert in these theories that the Fitness Fakery™ is more dangerous than the “relationship”. It is dangerous to his already vulnerable identity and of course dangerous for his health.

- 🌟 But I will also explore the idea that maybe the “relationship” is NOT romantic, and David is just that weird - which is not out of the realm of extreme possibility. (or, I still stand by my stance that, if there were a “romance”, it would exist only between David and himself).

From my perspective

I’ve been going to the gym regularly for years. I’ve had gym buddies and a personal trainer in the past and I’ve learned that there is a difference between the two. I don’t know if David himself has learned the difference between the two. A buddy is great for getting you motivated and feeling comfortable in the gym. But, for me anyways, a trainer (at the very beginning) was essential for getting my form on point and making me learn that the mental component is as as important as the physical component when it comes to working out efficiently.

So, this is coming from my personal experience of exercising and listening to my body: FORM IS EVERYTHING! Form is more important than the duration of your exercise, the intensity, and how many reps you do.

So, just be warned that I will focus alot on his workout form. Those unfamiliar with exercising (or exercising properly) [sorry! I don’t mean to insult anyone] might feel like I am making a mountain out of a molehill. And ACTUALLY this discussion might be one of my most biased because it is coming from a personal place for me.

Where i’m coming from: I learned eventually that your mentality was key in being consistent with using the gym. I, before anything else, had to perfect my gym form, ethic and integrity. I needed to create an idea in my mind of what the gym/Fitness Culture™ meant to me in order to give myself the highest likelihood of success.

So I’m addressing WHY people use the gym in my take.

🌟 In fairness, I don’t know anyone who habitually uses with the gym for YEARS purely for physical health. And I’m not referring to exceptions like people who want/need to lose weight, people working through injuries, physiotherapy etc.

*** 🌟 To commit ourselves, we all need to have some personal, psychological, emotional, mental and/or spiritual reasons we attach to it to give that level of dedication some meaning. ***

*** 🌟 BUT, following that thought, remember that David himself admitted that he doesn’t like to think too hard? Nor apply too much personal meaning to his actions? ***

To simplify what I am trying to say here:

1. Poor form = wasting time at the gym.

2. No thought behind actions at the gym = literally, wasting your time and energy at the gym.

1 + 2 =

**** 🌟 💣 [THEORY 65] He is wasting his time but he WANTS to waste his time. He WANTS to fool himself with this Fitness Fakery™ because he has NOTHING else going on in his life yet he wants to project the image (to others and most importantly to himself) of “being his best self/living his best life”.

This is HIS end of the Fitness Fakery™ scam. I’ll say it again: it takes two to tango.

And, again, the gym is probably some fantasyland for him.

Consider also: typical Midlife Crisis Activities™ and how they afford you the illusion of “living your best life” (thank you to a user who brought this idea up to me).

Again, it comes back to being a mind game. I will try to address the question: What is David’s real reason for going to the gym?

**** 🌟 💣 [THEORY 66] My conclusion for now: David has confused his body and identity with the positive association of Fitness Culture™ (and let’s keeping asking, “why?”). Because his view of this routine in his life of his is overwhelmingly positive and most likely seems overwhelmingly positive to those around him,

*** he has not noticed that he has fallen into a hole of self-obsession.

*** Also, his workouts could be potentially dangerous for his health. No ageism here, the human body is simply the human body. When we age, we must make adjustments to our fitness routines, that’s all. It might not even be the intensity, but again, the poor form that could be the biggest danger.

*** In sum, David’s mind and body are not in sync. I’ve stated before that I believe his mind is overactive (not in critical, retrospective, reflective or deep thought, but in rationalizations and fantasies) and I think this mind of his is very much playing a role in this situation.

The Good and The Questions

The Good:

- Good for David for wanting to be in shape. But there is a difference between working out and overexerting yourself with a workout meant for someone much younger than you. Even when I train with people my age but at a different fitness level, I cannot always keep up with their routines.

The solution: do it as intensely as you can while still maintaining your form. Do not push yourself to match what you see while compromising your form, because you are essentially wasting your time.

- To be fair to David against the mean spirited comments: honestly, exercising is not a pretty sight, nobody looks cool while exercising lmao sadly. Also, I think the D/M situation still makes a lot of people (including me) so uncomfortable that we resort to laughter to heal ourselves. Even my initial reaction to the videos was very mean spirited, but I have been angry with David lately, lmao.

- To be fair to David about his poor form: there could be a number of reasons, an injury, age, he is tired. But to all of these, any professional trainer (or a GOOD gym buddy) would tell you to simply rest or adjust your workout. They would never tell you to overexert yourself.

- 🌟 And, to still be fair to him, it is not a consistent journey to go to the gym regularly, you will have some good days and many bad ones. This could've been a bad day for him emotionally or mentally.

🌟 BUT My question then is this: For the amount of time D/M have spent together supposedly exercising, why is his form still so bad? And why does he still have chicken legs? (serious question, lmao) if he is doing the same routines as Monique? (will be addressed later)

**** 🌟 Ideally, your day at the gym will involve NEUTRAL emotions (and I thought for so long that you should always be positive, but this usually just leads to me beating myself up for not working out hard enough! lmao!) and you 🌟 accomplish your routine without too much self-gloating NOR too much self-criticism involved.

**** 🌟 So, why is is he pushing through a hardcore workout with poor form, if he should know from experience that this is NOT good for his health? And he should also be able to know and FEEL that his form is BAD? I’ll say it again: bad form = wasted exercise.

Conclusion:

**** 🌟 💣 [THEORY 67] I don’t see that he has NEUTRAL feelings towards Fitness Culture™

Maybe its as simple as:

1. David wants to see himself reflected in Cool Girl™

2. David see, David do. In David’s mind, he’s GOTTA do in order to prove to himself that he IS in fact, a 25 year old woman!!!!!!

(Are his emotions involved when he goes to the gym? Keep this in mind going forward...)

The Questions:

1. 🚨 Why is David so engaged in Fitness Culture™ right now and not in his real life? 🚨 Not in his relationships? Not in his career - why will he act so dead at a con and then exercise like this? exercising should make you feel happy! (literally, lmao!) He might just be making himself tired, LMFAO.

2. 🌟 And why allow videos to be made and posted about it??? I honestly instinctively interpreted it as an angry message at first? like, showing off to his fans? attempting to demonstrate that he is Hercules to anyone that will listen? or could it be showing off to someone in particular [initials: GA] perhaps? hehehehe... ?? I’m probably reading way too much into it, as always.

But, if David allowed this sh*t to be posted after he berated Gillian Anderson for her work related social media posts, that would make him look absolutely outrageous. Just more evidence of his completely self serving hypocrisy and total lack of self awareness.

OR, there could be a possibility that he didn’t know the videos would be made public. And whoever filmed and distributed these videos had the intention of making fun of David, lmfao. To which I would say, David, when will you GET THE F*CK OUT OF THIS SITUATION???!?!?!?

3. 🌟 Who is making these videos and why? Because if they are being made by and for the personal trainer, then they are compromising this trainer’s reputation. Not only in a supposed breach of privacy (I have no clue if David allowed these videos or not. I’m guessing he probably did but is still clueless as to how social media works? I have no idea), but also in the fact that a trainer is meant to spot and correct a client’s form constantly.

4. *** 🚨 In one of the videos, the one with resistance band squats, whoever is filming even makes fun of David, telling him to push harder (although David’s form was already very poor, and his rhythm was too quick, essentially, he wasn’t doing to the exercise properly). And Cool Girl™JUST LAUGHED ??? She didn’t even check to see if Dave was ok?? And I can’t believe I actually felt bad for David for a single tiny fraction of a millisecond of a portion of a molecule of a split second there.

*** But it could all just be some “gym humor” I am not picking up on through a short video, who knows.

*** 🚨 BUT, bottom line: WHY does David keep subjecting himself to this?? Now the kids are laughing at him!!!!!! To his face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And he is still blind to his situation?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

5. For the amount of time D/Cool Girl™ have spent together supposedly exercising, why is his form still so bad?

6. Also on the subject of how long they’ve been working out together, why are his legs still chicken legs (serious question, lmao)? They should be built up by now if he is doing the same routines Monique is (look at her legs). Literally, a conclusion here is that he is not doing his exercises PROPERLY.

Table of Contents

On the Fitness Fakery™ .

1. David is distracting himself with Fitness Culture™ to fool himself into thinking that he is busy. He especially needs this foolery right now due to the beyond dead and rotted nature of his “career” (I’m withholding my mercy, David, because you have really been hurting me lately).

2. Fitness Fakery™ is his current fantasy.

2. David is BEING FAKE!! Evidence: poor workout form. The fitness routine is for his image, and not body image, but self-image of youth, capability, and illusion of routine and activity.

3. He is not being a smart consumer when it comes to Fitness Culture™.

4. On the subject of being a poor consumer, can we also relate this to his “consumption” of “relationships”? And, on this subject, could it be that his education working against him?

5. Ok, let’s put on the table the possibility that Monique is really mainly his gym buddy? Maybe even free nutritionist (to explain why they are always eating meals together? LMAO?)?

6. DAVID IS CHEAP!!! He said so himself. Monique is actually providing a great service of being a gym buddy at no REAL benefit to herself (beyond material things). Maybe David will one day let her roam 20 km off the hotel grounds. Until then, she’s gotta put in HER DUES to him!!!

7. IF David were exercising properly at this intensity, the release of endorphins would lead to him being happier. I honestly think he is just making himself TIRED?? lmao??? lay off the gym then, Dave!!!!

8. Mixing the Fitness Fakery™ with the Identity Crisis: The way David goes about things, as in, always asking others/ hiring others an never questioning their process or trying to understand/educate himself, is what leaves him vulnerable to scamming.

9. Cool Girl™ cannot exist without attention. Cool Girl™ is as confused as Cool Boy™. Maybe David just wants to be with someone who is as confused and suppressed as he is. Cool Girl™ confuses attention with accomplishment, obedience with love, compliance with partnership, suppression/reflection with identity etc.

10. If Cool Girl™ is meant to be a reflection of his ego, does this make David a Cool Boy™? My answer: yes. And, if this were the case, the relationship would still unequal, and it would still be an exploitation.

11. Is he literally so LOST and EMPTY within himself, that he would need to find fulfillment THROUGH THESE MEANS???!!!!

The Theories:

(1) 💣 [THEORY 68] David is distracting himself with Fitness Culture™ to fool himself into thinking that he is busy. He especially needs this foolery right now due to the beyond dead and rotted nature of his “career” (I’m withholding my mercy, David, because you have really been hurting me lately).

He is drawn to and practices FAKE fitness, not real fitness. Related to: he doesn’t like discomfort.

We make fun of his chicken legs but seriously, from a fitness perspective, what are those? Why doesn’t he buff up his body evenly?

From my experience of going to the gym: I love working out my arms (the burn feels good there, for some reason) but not my legs. The pain in my legs just freaks me out, probably because you need to use your legs more than your arms. And knowing that David doesn’t like discomfort, maybe this is the case with him as well? LMAO? In short, David, we understand... everyone hates “leg day” but... we push through it anyways!

Ok, on the subject of distraction, I think it speaks for itself. And I don’t think this is the only distraction in his life, but I think this might be one of the more “dangerous” ones in terms of the way it fools his mind and identity.

(2) 💣 [THEORY 69 - POOR CHOICE OF NUMBER. It would’ve been nice to have a Gillovny theory here, I blame you, David!] Fitness Fakery™ is his current fantasy.

My conclusion for now: he fell into a hole of self-obsession. Wtf is he doing? Acting like he doesn’t give a sh*t about The X-Files at cons but still supporting Chris Carter and saying he’s open to doing more episodes??

*** I’m here to put a focus on the discrepancy of why he is so engaged in the Fitness Fakery™ and not engaged in his real life.

*** Conclusion: Fitness fakery™ is his current fantasy.

*** The Danger: Its hard to argue that this is something bad for him - for him to argue against himself or his loved ones to argue against him, since fitness is usually very literally equated to “goodness”/health/productivity etc. So, with the hook of Fitness Fakery™, he has some justification that he NEEDS to be at the gym 24/7 with his lil clone buddy. And of course... nobody is buying this. Except for him.

(2) 💣 [THEORY 70] David is BEING FAKE!! Evidence: poor workout form. The fitness routine is for his image, and not body image, but self-image of youth, capability, and illusion of routine and activity.

Evidence of fakeness: POOR FORM AT THE GYM. I go to the gym regularly and when I first started I invested in a personal trainer just to get my form correct. Form is everything in exercises, not duration and not how many sets or reps you do.

Just by looking at his form I can see that he is wasting his time. I don’t know why the guy who was filming (who seemed to also be spotting them) didn’t correct David. Literally, it doesn’t matter if you do 1 million pushups the way he did them, you won’t see any progress (ok thats an exaggeration, but FORM IS STILL CRUCIAL!!)

I��m stunned to see the poor form because I thought he was experienced with fitness? Was this a bad day? I’m tired of being fair to him so i’m just gonna go in:

What real gym-goers say at the gym: “I want a REAL workout. I want to feel like I’m dying afterwards. I do this for myself and for my own health. But I know my limits and will not overexert myself. I keep myself informed. I want to get my money and time’s worth. etc.”

What Fakey Davey says at the gym: “I want a FAKE workout. I don’t want to feel too much discomfort. I will ignore my doctor’s advice that I shouldn’t be pushing myself so hard at my age. LOOK AT ME EVERYONE!!! SEE HOW OLD YET STRONG YET FAKE I AM? Hey Chris Carter, you forgot to write a scene in this X-Files episode where I can take my shirt off for no reason!!! I don’t care about getting my money or time’s worth at the gym because... I HAVE UNLIMITED AMOUNTS OF BOTH. etc.”

OR actually, just to be fair, i’ll toss in the possibility that he is aware of his age or has an injury or something. But to this I will still oppose him and tell him to be kind to himself and lay off the gym. And you know, perhaps, put some attention onto something... you know... something other than himself. Maybe. For once. Just a suggestion?

He is being fake, to everyone, and most importantly to himself. Fine, fool yourself David, but don’t implicate others. Don’t lie to your fans about who you are and then accept their money happily while turning over a crap product (and I consider his behaviour at the latest con to be a crap product, to put it nicely).

Voice of David’s God (a.k.a. himself): He is convincing himself that he will one day become The Hulk or one day win some 1st prize bodybuilder trophy or some sh*t and one day ONE DAY this will make people RESPECT THIS GOD OF A MAN!!!! you’ll believe godd is a daviiiiiiid ~~

(3) 💣 [THEORY 71] He is not being a smart consumer when it comes to Fitness Culture™.

But, to be fair to him, he might just be a product of his fake, shiny plastic, gimmicky, trendy Los Angeles environment. Also, I think this is related to his avoidance of deep or critical thinking.

I recently received an anon message talking about the people in his circle and the products they sell/promote: all fake, holistic, unproven health gimmicks. Very popular amongst actors since they need to keep up with the cool crowd, want to support their inner circle of ~ enlightened millionaire beings ~ and are uneducated (or in this case, lack critical thinking or research skills).

(4) 💣 [THEORY 72] On the subject of being a crap consumer, can we also relate this to his “consumption” of “relationships”? And, on this subject, could it be that his education working against him?

I stated before that he consumed this “relationship” the same way he would consume a gimmick. And he is keeping the “relationship” going the same way he keeps those disgusting Vibrams on his feet.

Same way he will consume a “relationship” with a scammer.

Where is the self awareness David? Where is the pride? Where is the self respect?

oH WAIT actually, maybe he never learned to become a smart consumer because HE NEVER HAD TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY????!!!! OR BEING AT LOSS WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN ayyyye got it ya’ll! ... just kidding.

Its a cycle:

CRAP CONSUMPTION = CRAP COMING OUT THE OTHER END.

= THIS IS WHAT WE’RE SEEING RIGHT NOW.

“Loved the Wizard World Comic Con appearance straight from your ass, Dave!” - TripAdvisor review posted anonymously and thumbs upped by Brad Davidson.

Maybe he fooled himself from the get-go with the education? He considers himself omniscient? .

Why can’t he just.... FOR ONCE.... think critically!!!!??!??!?!

(5) 💣 [THEORY 73] Ok, let’s put on the table the possibility that Monique is really mainly his gym buddy? Maybe even free nutritionist (to explain why they are always eating meals together? LMAO?)?

I still assert that him bringing her around everywhere is just excessive, self-indulgent, selfish and ridiculous. However, everything we’ve witnessed in the past has proven that David is excessive, self-indulgent, selfish and ridiculous. Soo, end of discussion?

(6) 💣 [THEORY 74] DAVID IS CHEAP!!! He said so himself. Monique is actually providing a great service of being a gym buddy at no REAL benefit to herself (beyond material things). Maybe David will one day let her roam 20 km off the hotel grounds. Until then, she’s gotta put in HER DUES to him!!!

*** However, if she is meant to be his trainer, her services are not really professional. If she were training him then I believe that she would correct his form, or give him exercises that are more appropriate for his age (no age shame here, the human body is the human body. With age, we must make adjustments).

I think what might be going on is that David is forcing himself because he wants to prove that he can still do these exercises that younger people do. In short: to see himself the way he wants to see himself in his head. So again, I circle back to the argument that David is doing this for his loneliness, desire to feel young and capable, and, essentially, all his selfish purposes.

(6) 💣 [THEORY 75] *** IS the Fitness Fakery THE TRAP? And is this trap within a larger trap of the crap career? And is the crap career trap within the larger trap of his own apathy/laziness/greed/insatiable ego?

my answer: YASSS!!!! pass it on to Dave.

Ok but seriously, wtf?? If it is so damn painful for us just to watch a few single seconds of these videos from Hell what the f*ck is the reality of the situation for David?

I said he lives in a fantasy, but this theory would prove that he is BODY, MIND AND SOUL IN ANOTHER DIMENSION.

Does he just not feel any pain anymore? Whet? Does he not feel ANY shame? LMFAO?? wtf boy...????

(7) 💣 [THEORY 76] IF David were exercising properly at this intensity, the release of endorphins would lead to him being happier.

I honestly think he is just making himself TIRED?? lmao??? lay off the gym then, Dave!!!!

Another thing I noticed in those videos from Hell, is that the trainer does not do anything to correct David? Its like he is not even acknowledging him? What I see is honestly a bunch of people not wanting to tell David the truth of himself, lmfao. It took a while for me to pick up on this through all my cringing/refusal to look directly at the Hell footage.

I’ll just repeat myself here because I thought this moment was hilarious:

*** 🚨 In one of the videos, the one with resistance band squats, whoever is filming even makes fun of David, telling him to push harder (although David’s form was already very poor, and his rhythm was too quick, essentially, he wasn’t doing to the exercise properly). And Cool Girl™ JUST LAUGHED ??? She didn’t even check to see if Dave was ok?? And I can’t believe I actually felt bad for David for a single split second there.

*** But it could all just be some “gym humor” I am not picking up on through a short video, who knows.

*** 🚨 BUT, bottom line: WHY does David keep subjecting himself to this?? Now the kids are laughing at him!!!!!! To his face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And he is still blind to his situation?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

(8) 💣 [THEORY 77] Mixing the Fitness Fakery™ with the Identity Crisis: The way David goes about things, as in, always asking others/ hiring others an never questioning their process or trying to understand/educate himself, is what leaves him vulnerable to scamming.

I guess we should not ignore the possibility that David is just very naive (its been said before but I still cannot even make heads or tails of this idea right now, lmao). Maybe he will just blindly believe anyone with credentials or even ANYONE WITH NO CREDENTIALS lmfao!!! Maybe he only believes... young people? I don’t...

Oh wait yeah... he has a close relationship with and respect for Chris Carter... I guess I shouldn’t be... applying morals or logic to who he decides to trust....

So, is he just lazy? I still don’t think it’s that simple. But, I mean, come on boy, READ SOME DAMN LITERATURE ON THE SUBJECT. Put away the fantasy books, the myths, the outdated philosophy manuscripts FOR ONE SECOND and EDUCATE YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(9) 💣 [THEORY 78] Cool Girl™ cannot exist without attention. Cool Girl™ is as confused as Cool Boy™. Maybe David just wants to be with someone who is as confused and suppressed as he is. Cool Girl™ confuses attention with accomplishment, obedience with love, compliance with partnership, suppression/reflection with identity etc.

Without any eyes on Cool Girl™, what reason would Cool Girl™ need to be hot, game, and never angry?

Cool Girl™ might have also confused reflecting someone’s ego with having a personal identity, not realizing that their role is merely to be a... mirror.

(10) 💣 [THEORY 79] If Cool Girl™ is meant to be a reflection of his ego, does this make David a Cool Boy™? My answer: yes.

Cool Boy™️ is also hot, game, fun, never angry, liking whatever someone else likes WITHOUT CRITICAL THOUGHT/RESEARCH.

Above all, Cool Girl™️ does what she does for the attention and approval of men, even at the expense of other women.

So, does David/Cool Boy™️ do the same? Could we actually say yes? Suppressing his actual indifference towards feminist issues? Never getting angry about the social media nonsense? lmao??

** 🚨 I think David keeps up this facade and suppresses himself because he knows there is really nothing to him beneath the surface.

* And would the end goal, for Cool Boy™️, of this “relationship” be simply recognition, attention, and approval? Even if it is all faked fakery? I don’t really want to even think about the situation as being THIS pathetic but all of the evidence, including what we know of David’s insatiable ego and the fact that he his living in some fantasy land right now with no evidence of a single person bringing him back to reality, would prove, yes?

** 🚨 🚨 HOWEVER, the “relationship” is still an exploitation: our Cool Boy™️ in this situation, unlike Cool Girl™️, does NOT have to fully sacrifice himself for the attention of the Cool Girl™️ because of the power imbalance of the “relationship”.

The fact that Cool Boy™️ is male (and socially seen as protector, provider etc.)

the fact that Cool Boy™️ is older (again, seen as the provider of both resources and knowledge)

the fact that Cool Boy™️ simply has more experience with “relationships”, human interaction, and emotional manipulation...

All of these facts combine to tip the scales in Cool Boy™️’s favor. Yet still, he maintains the facade of Cool Boy™️ because he DOES want attention in this relationship.

(11) 💣 [THEORY 80]***** 🚨 🚨 He is literally that LOST and EMPTY within himself, that he would need to find fulfillment THROUGH THESE MEANS!!!!

Hey David, why not just put all of this effort, energy, mental fantasy making whatever towards your CAREER, ART, WORK, AND VERY LOYAL FANS? I can’t stand the sh*tty way he treats his fans!! But I gotta hand it to them, they are very loyal, so wake it up Dave!!!

Again: He is damn bored out of his mind, has no creativity, has no desire to give, no desire to contribute, has no bravery to start a real conversation... and most importantly, is probably **VERY LONELY**... I will keep repeating myself

In Part 2: Identity Crisis, I will discuss how he really wants to be regarded as some gritty warrior who has gone through many trials and tribulations in his life, although all the evidence (example: the immature way he handles his problems) proves otherwise.

Future ideas:

Does David actually LIKE being told what to do?

Accomplishment without pride?

Midlife Crisis Activities™ and how they provide the self-delusion of “living your best life”

Thank you again, readers!

#David Duchovny #Monique Pendleberry

22 notes · View notes