I re watched Avatar The last Airbender today, yes the much maligned movie and tbh I still kind of like it. I know and understand that it does not meet the very high standards that ATLA fans of the original animated series have, it’s bitty, disjointed and rather all over the place, but I still like the performances given by some of the young cast. Ok I can hear the tufts of hair being pulled out at the roots by the fans as I’m typing this, but young actors generally are guided and steered by the director. They generally don’t feel they have the right to challenge directors or script writers, in this case the same person when they think something is dumb, they just try and meet the expectations of their elders.
The young boy who plays Aang, Noah Ringer.. he’s was and still is an amazing athlete, but he seemed to get allot of unwarranted flack for just not being, well ethnic enough and that he was too serious, even wooden. I think if we look carefully at the narrative from even the animated series and examine the things he’s gone through, i think he would be pretty serious, confused, distraught and angry. In this respect I think Noah does this really well.
So what’s happened to the wee laddie then?
You run away when you’re told your the Avatar and that you are responsible for keeping balance in the world, between the four nations. Hmm Not much pressure there for a 12 year old.
When you wake up you find out you’ve been asleep for a 100 years and then get captured by the Fire Nation.
You next found out that your entire nation has been wiped from the face of the earth, just because you feel you didn’t want the responsibility and that you could never have a family.
Yeah… he’s not really going to be in a great head space, Guilt, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, along with Shame, Anger and fear would be coursing through this young boys body and mind.
But as the Joker would say “why so serious?”
I also thought Dev Patel was very good in his role, as Zuko, he showed the anarchic, panicked son under pressure to find the Avatar for the Fire Nation to regain his honour.
Yes he had some really bad dialogue.. but again he didn’t write the script…
I thought the CG Effects were pretty good, I’m not so sure about the choreographed bending moves tbh in some of the scenes, especially with the Earth Benders, but all in all I thought it was ok.
M.Night Shyamalan needs to wear the way this was received, he was really taking on a poison chalice and was never going to be able to meet the expectations of the Fan base.
In the end he seemed to disappear into his own world and tried to make something that was beautiful to look at,but lacked the depth of story and also lost a lot of the charm that the series possessed.
I said I enjoyed the film, perhaps because I can fill in the blanks a bit because I’ve watched the animated series and can fill in the blanks myself.. or gaps.. well cazems in some cases.
One thing I will say is we can’t blame the cast, especially the young actors for not matching the expectations of the fans or the characters in the animated series, for their lack of ethnicity or the emotional tack that the live action film tried to take. We should remember that side of the animated series is pretty surface deep at best, with a lot of tragedy just laughed off, or immediately forgotten.
The Last Airbender’s narrative deals with a lot of very serious issues, that placed within the human world ie live action would be seen as tragic, testing and difficult… Genocide, being the chosen one…(Sorry Starwars, Harry Potter and of course the Bible) Personal loss and huge unfathononable responsibilities. The New Netflix series will need to address these as well, although they will hopefully have allot more time to dig into these characters during the series, to provide them with depth and personality, that was lacking from the film,
After all if we don’t care about the characters in any book, film, tv or animated series, you won’t become emotionally invested in them. We need to care about what happens to them, why they behave the way they do, what decisions they make, who their friends and indeed enemy’s are..what happens next?
I guess this is why so many people were disappointed with the film, because they were exactly that with the animated series.. if you love something that much, you will always feel some sort of disappointment when you compare it to any other version of the same thing.
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don't let this darkness fool you
arsenal x young reader [platonic]
part 1 of 2?
cw for intense descriptions of depression and suicidal ideation. this is a really heavy one, so please don't read if you don't think you should. there are other fics, and reading this one isn't as important as you being okay <3
loosely based on the songs call your mom and growing sideways by noah kahan
- - - - -
There was a song lyric that had resonated with you since you'd heard it. It rattled around in your brain on bad days. Days like today.
"It's better to die numb than feel it all"
You thought of it now, as you sat, staring hard at the pill bottle in front of you. Your chest ached, deep within you. It was suffocating, feeling everything. You'd been fighting, gasping for air, for so long. The way out, the way to numbness, to freedom, was sitting right in front of you. All you had to do was take the pills.
Google told you it would be enough. That by the time anyone thought to check, it would be too late. You'd scrolled past the suicide hotline number to read the information. It hadn't even been an option to call it. If you were going to call anyone, it would be one of your teammates.
Not your family. It all came back to them, in the end. Every insecurity and fear you had trailed back through your past, to the people that had raised you. No, that was wrong. You'd raised yourself. They'd brought you into the world, but hadn't bothered themselves with making your world a place worth existing in. Too busy drinking, fighting, making each other miserable.
Briefly, you wondered if they would feel guilty when they heard. You supposed they would. It wasn't enough, though, retroactive guilt. They couldn't undue what they'd caused. Even if they stood in front of you, begged you to stay, you were sure their words would have little effect on you.
Your mind flashed to your real family, your team. The thought of them did fill you with guilt. It was an uncomfortable feeling, and you shut your eyes tightly, fighting back against the images of their faces when they heard.
You could make your peace with most of it, honestly. The only thing that you didn't think you could deal with, though, was them blaming themselves. You knew they would, that was the kind of people they were. A note wouldn't be enough, you decided. Written words wouldn't be as convincing as your voice, promising that it wasn't their fault.
Looking back, you would wonder if you were ever really going to do it. Calling Beth like that, you had to have considered that she'd answer. the only thing you could come up with was that you didn't really want to die, not really. You wanted help, and you didn't know how to ask for it, weren't sure if you'd be able to.
Regardless, you dialed Beth's number, deciding on her because you knew she went to bed early. In was only midnight, and if you called anyone else, there was a chance they'd still be awake. You should have known Beth would sleep with her ringer on, though. It was the kind of thing she'd do, always concerned with the people around her, always reminding them to reach out if they needed her.
When she answered, you were frozen, not sure what to say. A part of you wanted to hang up, take the pills as fast as you could. The other wanted to cry, beg for help. The second part was just so tired; you stayed silent.
"Hello? Y/n, are you there?"
You must have made a sound, because Beth's voice lost it's sleepy tint, and she seemed much more awake.
"Y/n, are you okay?"
"No," you responded, all but forcing the word out of your lips. It was amazing, how she could tell that something was wrong, from so little information.
"What's going on, kiddo?" she asked kindly. It made tears prick your eyes. It had been a while since you had cried, and you were surprised. You weren't really sure how to answer her, though, the one word you'd uttered having been hard enough as it was.
"Y/n, honey, what's going on?" Beth asked again, and you heard Viv's voice faintly from the background, asking for the phone. There was some shuffling, and then Viv's firm voice was hitting your ear.
"Y/n, I need you to tell me what's happening," Viv demanded. She was smart- you didn't need soft right now. You needed someone to tell you exactly what to do, not ask.
"I'm not okay," you managed. You realized you were shaking, your teeth chattering over every word. "I need help."
Viv pulled the phone away from her ear, speaking to Beth before answering you. You don't know if she meant for you to hear or not.
"Call Leah, call Katie, they both live over there. Tell them to get to y/n's as soon as possible." The Dutch woman pulled the phone back to her ear then. "Y/n, Beth and I are coming to you. We're gonna help you, okay?"
"Okay," you replied softly. You were surprised, when the only thing you felt was relief.
"You're at home, right?"
"Yeah."
"Can you tell me if you're safe, physically?"
"I'm not hurt. I haven't taken anything yet," you tell her, mind too jumbled to realize you'd said yet.
"What do you have in front of you?" she asked, her tone returning the the firm one from before. You told her, reading the long name off the bottle. You heard Beth curse from next to her, speaking faster and more frantically into her own phone.
"Don't move, y/n. Stay right there, Leah is going to be there in just a minute."
Sure enough, your attention was pulled away from the phone, really from the bottle in front of you, but whatever, when your door unlocked. Leah had a key. You'd forgotten. Her eyes were wild when she rushed in, searching for you. She was wearing her pajamas, and you realized Beth had probably woken her. Somewhere in your brain, you considered making a joke about the Arsenal pajama pants she was wearing, but you realized you had lost the ability to speak. Leah had arrived fast, though, even though she lived only a few minutes walk from you. She must have run.
"Hey, buddy," Leah said cautiously, and you heard 2 sighs of relief at Leah's voice over the phone. You sat, unmoving, as Leah approached you, taking the bottle off the table where it sat, and carried it into the kitchen, still in sight of you. She unscrewed the cap, and you watched as she dumped the bottle down the drain, running the water to ensure every little pill floated away, out of your reach.
Again, you only felt relief.
Leah returned, taking a seat next to you, and grabbing the phone out of your tight grip. You weren't really paying attention to her, lost in your head, but the soft words she spoke to Beth and Viv calmed you, if only slightly.
Someone's hand was on your knee, and you turned your head to see Katie kneeling next to you. You weren't sure when she'd arrived.
Your body felt like it was caving in on itself; something about Katie's expression, filled with so much fear, forced you to see the reality of what had happened, how close you'd come. Maybe that should have been the scariest thing, but it wasn't. Instead, you thought about how your teammates knew now. There was no excuse you could give that would explain what had happened tonight. It was a horrifying realization; that you couldn't hide how bad it was anymore.
Katie was speaking to you, her lips were moving, but you couldn't process what she was saying. It was like the volume in the room had been turned down, and the sound of your blood pulsing in your ears was all you could hear. You forced yourself to move, to do anything, and your shaking hand covered hers, gripping tightly.
It was all you could manage, really. Somehow, Katie knew what you needed. She moved to sit on your other side, wrapping her strong arms around your body, pulling you into her. You went limply, allowing yourself to collapse into her. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to breathe, trying to think. You wanted to be anywhere else.
All of a sudden, you wished you'd done it. When you opened your eyes, you'd have to face it. Fight it. You'd been trying, and you knew your friends wouldn't allow you to stop. You'd missed your chance, and a part of you felt like it was shattering at the idea of having to keep going.
Hands were cupping your face, encouraging you to open your eyes. You complied, tears falling rapidly once you did. Katie was looking at you, and you could kind of hear her again, telling you to breathe. You hadn't realized you had been holding your breath. You inhaled a shuddering breath, before exhaling.
"One breath at a time, y/n, come on," Katie was saying. At her prompting, you breathed in again, hands clenching into fists as you stumbled to your feet. You weren't sure where you were going, you just needed to go. Katie and Leah were standing too, looking panicked, and Katie grabbed your wrist as you tried to head for the door. You wrenched free, stumbling on unsteady legs towards the door. Realistically, Leah and Katie would have stopped you.
They didn't need to. In through the door you were approaching came Beth and Viv. Your exit was blocked, even though you weren't really sure why you were trying to leave. It was like some part of your brain thought if you removed yourself from the situation, the feelings would fade. Instead, you fell to your knees, hands wrapping around your own abdomen, like you were trying to hold yourself together.
You didn't have the energy to hold yourself up anymore, evidently, because you were falling forward, and someone was catching you. You weren't sure you'd taken a breath since Katie had last reminded you to, because the world around you was closing in, blackening along the edges, and then there was nothing.
-----
You became aware of a soft hand pushing hair back from your forehead first. The cushions of your couch under you. Your friends were talking amongst themselves, about you it seemed. You were calmer now, thank god. You could breath again, and your brain had returned to it's regular state; somewhere between depressed and agonized, but nowhere near where you'd been minutes ago.
"Did she say if something happened?" you heard Katie ask, accent thicker than normal.
"No, she didn't say anything, really. Just that she wasn't okay, and that she needed help." Beth responded, her voice much closer to you. The hand on your head must have been hers.
Both of your teammates sounded anxious, so you forced your eyes open blinking up at Beth's face above you.
"Hey, kid," she said, her hand not stopping the motions on your forehead.
"Hi," you replied, voice all scratchy. You moved to sit up, swinging your feet to rest on the ground instead of where they lay in Leah's lap. it was quiet in the room, and you hated how all of them looked at you so apprehensively. You'd never liked when people worried about you, and this wasn't any different.
Wordlessly, Viv handed you a glass of water, and you took it, gulping it down because you were thirsty, and also because you weren't really sure what to say.
"What happened?" Leah asked softly. You dropped your eyes to the floor. Lying wouldn't do anything, you knew that. Still, the impulse to push them out was there.
"I don't know," you replied, somewhat honestly. Your tone reflected your feelings, though, and Beth sighed next to you, sensing you trying to force your walls back up.
"That's not going to work, y/n," Katie said. You looked up, then, meeting everyone's eyes. There was a determination there.
"I really don't know," you repeated, but you allowed yourself to breathe deeply, before speaking again. "Nothing happened, I was just tired. I'm really tired."
They nodded in understanding. They knew what tired meant in this context. Not the kind that sleep could fix, though you tried. The kind that sunk into you, gripped your soul in it's tight fist, and squeezed. Until you barely had the energy to move. Until all you could think about was doing what you'd almost done.
"You need help." Beth stated, almost like she was expecting a fight from you on it. She was surprised, then, when you nodded in response.
"I know," you paused. "I'm sorry."
You were apologizing for a lot; for acting miserable in the past few months. For ruining their respective nights. For being so difficult. A part of you was also apologizing that you'd called at all. Wouldn't it have been easier, so much easier, if you'd just done it?
"Don't say sorry. You called, you asked for help. That's all that really matters." Leah told you.
You recognized that maybe it wouldn't have been easier for them. Giving up was perhaps easier than trying to get better; for you at least. Right now. For them, though, they'd rather help you, a thousand times over, than lose you.
And help you, they would.
-----
honestly not really sure about the ending of this? feel like there could be a part 2 if you guys wanted, so i left it open for that if people are interested
also. writing this was a lot. reading it is probably a lot too. hope it serves as a reminder that there are people that need you, and the world is better with you in it. i know it doesn't always feel like it, but what you're feeling is temporary. it will get better.
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