#Not gunna lie. I prefer these ones

[seakara]

RuneScape Hellhounds before their semi-recent update

[mothfables]

Legend sniffled. Today was awful. Everything hurt, and all he wanted was to lie down and sleep for as long as possible. Preferably wrapped in as many blankets as he could get his hands on. Hands that were currently shaking too hard to even set up his bedroll.

They’d stopped for the night, and Legend could hear the others getting ready for dinner. He sniffed again, giving up on his bedroll, and instead wrapped his arms around himself as he stumbled over to his brothers.

Twilight paused in his conversation with Warriors when Legend appeared and pressed himself against the rancher’s chest. The younger boy grasped at his shirt with shaking hands and Twilight didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around his brother. Then he lowered the both of them to the ground, holding Legend as he trembled.

“Shh, shh, I gotcha,” he murmured, running a gentle hand through soft pink hair. Legend hiccuped and pressed closer.

Suddenly he was dissolving into black particles and Twilight panicked, scrambling to grab onto him as the other hero shrunk before his eyes. He could hear his brothers shouting as Legend seemed to disappear before their eyes, then shocked silence when the twilight magic dispersed to reveal a small, pink rabbit.

“What in the goddesses’ name-” Wars exclaimed and Twilight chanced a glance upwards to see him gaping like a fish in a net.

“Don’t yell, yer gunna scare ‘im,” Twilight chastised quietly. He turned back to try to continue soothing his brother-turned-rabbit. Legend’s trembling had gotten worse and he hunched in on himself at the noise, making himself even smaller.

The rancher shushed and cooed, reaching forward to scoop up his brother’s tiny body and tuck it against his chest. Legend whined at the movement before giving a shaky sigh as Twilight ran a hand along his back. He tried to burrow into the pelt wrapped around the older hero’s shoulders, giving him an idea.

Shifting to hold Legend in one hand he pulled the pelt off and draped it over his lap. Then he lowered his brother down and wrapped him gently in the fur, creating a warm, protective bundle that the younger immediately huddled into.

Twilight continued to pet him; soft gentle strokes that made Legend shudder and sigh. The bunny in his lap shifted for a moment before settling and Twilight felt him go lax, trembling finally easing.

It was quiet for a few moments. Then Wars spoke up, his voice low and worried.

“...Is he alright? Does he need anything?” Twilight moved his gaze up from the bundle in his lap to find all of his brothers staring at him, worry and concern clear in their expressions. Sky subtly laid a hand on the Master Sword with a questioning tilt of his head. Twilight shook his head in return.

“Jist havin’ a bad day an’ needed sum comfort, s’all,” he replied. Sky nodded and the others relaxed, reassured their rancher had it handled.

Twilight would give his brother all the comfort he needed, no matter what form he was in or how long it took. As long as Legend needed him, he would be there.

[baizhoobies]

Good Morning! “Waking up with…” gn!Headcanons

Request: Hey!!! How are you? Can I request morning headcanons with Sigma, Bram, Kunikida and Fyodor? Can be suggestive if you want. Thank you have a good day!

A/N: Hiya! thank you for the request :3 I am doing okay thank you for asking! Also one last thank you to those in the requests queue who are waiting! I love and appreciate you

Warnings: suggestive, swearing, mostly fluff and sweet domesticity, 18+

Including: Sigma, Bram, Kunikida and Fyodor

Sigma

- Okay to start off with, lets say you both live in the casino together, he has one of those fancy VIP looking rooms

- your bed is ridiculously comfy, as the manager/owner, he has to have a good nights rest (plus working in the DOA the man needs some good fucking sleep)

- Sigma is enamoured with you, he wants nothing more than to be with you and to express his love for you, so he will make sure you are at your most comfort, with your preferred duvet covers, pillows, the works

- He looks like a sleeping beauty whilst he sleeps, so if you are the first to wake up and look at him… if you weren’t madly in love with him, you are now

- clingyyyyyyy

- super clingy, the man doesn’t know what home is but he knows he is at home with you. Keeping that in mind, he will probably prefer to be the big spoon, holding you tightly like some sort of teddy bear

- If he is the first person to wake up whilst he is the big spoon, he will probably try to wake you up with kisses on your neck and shoulders

- though I won’t lie, if you roll over in your sleep to become the big spoon, he will love that just as much

- knowing that you love him and wish to embrace him is enough to make his heart flutter and feel even more at home with you

- he loves the way you smell, your soft breaths and the way your skin feels against his own; soft and warm

- probably keeps a pillow or something and sprays it with your perfume so if you are away for any reason, he can sleep a lot better whilst thinking of you

- I can’t see him being the most active person in the morning, he will definitely want an extra 10 minutes. Even if you want to get out of bed, he just wants to cuddle and how can you refuse his puppy dog eyes?

- Probably doesn’t engage in anything sexual though, at least not in your sleep unless you talk about it prior. Though in saying that, if you have breasts, he will hold onto them like some sort of stress toy, or out of comfort

- I am picturing him doing this, half awake but the moment he hears your moans in your sleep, he’s only going to keep doing it until you are awake 🤭

Bram

- oooh boy, okay I am going to take liberty and allow Bram to have all of his limbs, maybe this scenario is before the events of BSD?

- If you are both vampires, its natural that neither of you will be awake in the morning as ya’ll sleep all day. So I am going to assume your mornings are actually in the evening after sunset

- Not that either of you are allergic to the sun (as seen in the anime/manga) but its a vampires natural sleeping pattern to sleep during the day, and I assume he did when he was living in his estate in Europe.

- He will most likely wake up out of hunger than anything else. You guys could sleep for centuries if you wanted, so the only reason to wake up is to feed, and perhaps spend time with you

- I am gunna say that ya’ll rest in a double sized coffin (yes, they exist) you are his partner after all and wishes to hold you close

- probably will have anxiety if you were in another coffin

- he’s a gentleman, if he wakes up first he will pull you closer and purposefully rest your head on his chest. In one manga panel its seen that he has claws? Or long nails? Will draw circles into your back/shoulders, humming contently as he does so

- if you guys are spooning, he will kiss your spine and your shoulders, but he will only really do this if he is in the mood… might even sneak a hand around and have a cheeky little touch~

- if you aren’t a vampire, he will probably follow your sleeping patterns. Ain’t no way is he going to wake up whilst you go to bed, nuh uh.

- nothing much would be different except Bram being a little dramatic in the mornings

- Like he will say some shit like “human, you have disturbed my slumber, why must your weak bodies-” promptly tell him to shut up and give him a kiss, he will soon shut up

- he will convince you to sleep longer, or at least lay there with him so he can sleep some more

- promise to make out with him, or wake him up if ygm, this may convince him to wake up and indulge 🫡

Kunikida

- So this man ensures that he gets 7 hours of sleep every night; its essential for him to feel refreshed and ready for when he wakes up in the morning. He the type of guy who will wake up immediately at the sound of his alarm, get out of bed, shower etc.. all according to his notebook

- HOWEVER

- Ever since you moved in, he's found himself becoming.. sloppy with his schedules

- Kunikida doesn't strike me as the guy to enforce his schedule onto his s/o, the word 'no' is a foreign word to him when it comes to you

- So lets say his alarm goes off in the morning, he goes to turn it off and get out of bed, but oh no! Your legs are intertwined, your head on his chest and your arms snaked around his waist.

- Despite his best efforts to convince himself to get immediately ready for the day, he will let out one huge sigh and set the alarm to snooze...and then snooze again, and again.

- Kunikida's biggest weakness is cuddles, especially whilst you are sleeping so adorably

- He might curse himself for breaking his schedule but, you certainly are worth it

- He may even incorporate snuggle time into his schedule just to say that he is following his ideals to feel better about himself

- LOVES to watch you sleep, I know bro is romantical (but will never admit it) he will just stare at your features, it doesn’t matter if you snore or have your hair all a mess, or whatever, he just is so in love with you.

- He takes this time to reflect on your relationship together, he probably practices ‘gratitude affirmations’ and you are certainly one of them

- Not the type of person to fulfil his desires in your sleep, he'd rather wait till you're awake before initiating anything, HOWEVER, if you are the first to awake, he certainly isn't going to complain waking up to you under the covers, iygm 😏

- Note in diary: woke up to sloppy toppy at 7am

- Expect breakfast in bed at the weekends, those are the days he has more time in the mornings and will make the extra effort in pampering you. You like coffee? Well the man owns one of those fancy coffee machines, Idc what anyone says, he does.

- Kisses with the taste of coffee on his lips >

Fyodor

- This was hard but I like a challenge (plus the recent episode got me quaking)

- Fyodor does not sleep a lot, over working himself on his plots and schemes, 100% will need convincing to join you in bed

- He would wake up first, no matter what. You would never catch him sleeping, like ever

- even if you get up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, the man just senses when you are awake (he is probably a very light sleeper)

- its most likely to do with the fact that when you are sleeping, its quite a vulnerable state and although he is comfortable with you, he struggles to turn that side of him off

- As he wakes up before you, it gives him a chance to watch you resting peacefully, he leans over you and just takes in the view

- He will gently brush the hair from your face and just… he just thinks you are precious and wants nothing more than to just take a moment and reflect on it

- If its coming close to having to get up for whatever reason, he will stroke your hair and whisper sweet nothings into your ear, most likely calling you Russian pet names and shit

- Although he is the first awake, he won’t get out of bed until you are ready

- I can’t see him being a person who’d want to cuddle in bed really, going to sleep or waking up. He is a little touch starved but in the sense that he doesn’t quite know how to be physically affectionate

- though catch him on a day where he is particularly sleepy, then he will be more likely to let his guard down and cuddle (he can’t keep up this criminal master mind shit 24/7)

- I don’t think he’d be super relentlessly horny in the mornings, but if he is for whatever reason, he would (like the whispering you awake HCs) he would probably give you a few sleepy neck kisses, caressing your body with his nimble fingers and enjoys watching you squirm and whimper yourself awake.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Maybe I’m Not Scared of What You’re Thinking Of - Simon Lynch/Reader

Prompt: Don't you know what you mean to me?

Warnings: Gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, friends to lovers, slow burn, growing friendship, angst, hurt/comfort, brief canon-related mention of violence, kissing, fully clothed grinding, kindness and praise makes Simon cry ;w;

Wordcount: 14270

Summary: It's a complete coincidence that you meet him, and even though he's a little weird and there's an anger in him fueled by pain, you know that you might be all he needs to be defused.

Notes: It's Simon's turn! I have a lot of feelings about Simon!! As soon as I saw his episode my heart went out to him a lot, he's so me-coded (aside from y'know the homicide lmao) and he really only needed someone to believe in him, so here's a whole ton of words about you doing just that QwQ I've also decided that this will be his own continued world like I did with Joshua, so any future stuff will take place during or after this~

You really regret accepting this blind date after the 30th straight minute comes and goes, your date still talking about himself on his side of the table.

He came highly recommended from your mother, the son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker, and it’s clear she did no actual research on him since you have nothing in common. You just keep smiling and sipping at your drink of choice, his words falling on deathly bored ears as he keeps trying to pitch his business to you, something about a private server for paying customers to get his advice or some dumb shit you haven’t seen a million times before. Sometimes you wished you’d been born in the past when things were simpler, because any idiot with a podcast and access to the internet always came to the same conclusion that they could be the Next Great Thing, and this guy definitely does not have what it takes.

He’s about to write down his contact info so you can check out his server right now, right in the middle of your date, his food cold in front of him as he just keeps choosing to talk instead of eat, and you just stare at him tearing off the paper to hand to you as you pray your souring expression isn’t giving you away too much. ‘Uh, sorry, I don’t have Facsimile,’ you lie as he holds it out to you, but it doesn’t dissuade him as he then says it’s super easy to sign up, he’ll help you. ‘No, I mean I’m not one for all these chatting apps, I prefer some good, old fashioned talking,’ you continue, another lie although not quite as much, for while you do prefer talking face to face, hence the date, you had so many chat apps on your phone to keep in contact with everyone that they had their own page on your home screen.

‘It’ll be worth it, trust me, I already have a bunch of guys giving their own presentations on my server, I’ll even give you a free week’s trial to check everything out, whattaya say?’ he asks, clearly more interested in expanding his brand than making any sort of actual connection with you, and this time you let your face scrunch up in pained awkwardness.

‘Yeah, it’s gunna have to be a no, sorry,’ you cringe, and his smile slowly falls as he crumples up the paper and stuffs it inside his expensive name brand jacket, obviously bought to show off to everyone how ‘successful’ he was.

‘Fine, no it’s fine, I just thought you were smarter than that,’ he grumbles just on the border of passive aggressively, your eyebrows rising as your opinion of him somehow manages to drop even lower. ‘You figure you give someone a chance to get in on the ground floor of something because you think you’re vibing, but I guess it was just me.’

‘Uh…’

‘How is everything?’ The small voice draws your attention from him as you look up to your savior, your eyes just going higher as the person towers over you, even when he’s hunched over a bit to take up as little space as possible as his co-workers pass by him to get to the other tables. Your mouth falls open a little bit as your eyes meet, long bangs just barely swept to the side to reveal dark brown irises that almost appear black focusing only on you as he ignores your date, and you forget to answer as the man across from you answers for you.

‘We’re doing great, just fantastic, thanks buddy,’ he growls, now eating his food as quickly as he can so he can get away from you. ‘If you could hurry up and grab the checks though that would be even better.’

‘Is there anything else you’d like? More water, or a refill?’ He completely ignores the other man as he focuses on you, which pisses him off even more, and you join in on that as you smile politely up at him.

‘Everything’s perfect, although I could go for a refill, thank you,’ you tell him, and he gives you a nod without once acknowledging your date, who’s already gotten out his wallet and is looking up the prices of the bar on his phone; he pulls out enough to cover the meal but passes over his beer and the tax, because that’s too much work to calculate it even with his phone in hand, and he gets up and sarcastically wishes you a nice life as he bails, the silence a nice change as you continue eating alone. Your server returns a short while later with a new glass and the checks, and when he sees the money left behind he puts two and two together.

‘I take it I’m not getting a tip from him,’ he figures, and you laugh into your glass, almost spilling the liquid all over the table as you try not to choke.

‘I doubt you would’ve anyway, he was a prick,’ you admit, which makes him smile, and you decide his smile is actually quite nice as he starts clearing the other half of the table. ‘Hey, uh, would you wanna sit with me? Just for a little, it’s kinda embarrassing to eat alone after that disaster.’

He glances at the freshly vacant seat before looking around, and he leans over to lower his voice, his eyes on the table as he speaks. ‘I should really get back to work,’ he whispers, but you gesture in front of you in a welcoming manner, and he follows your hands before sitting and hiding his apron behind his arms, the nametag of Simon just barely peeking out before it’s covered up.

You flash him another smile before getting back to your lunch, it’s amazing how listening to someone that incredibly annoying can really kill the appetite in the moment, and he tries not to watch you as he makes sure he’s not about to get in trouble. You finish off your first glass and start on the second since you did ask him for it, even if it was an excuse to ignore your date initially, and you catch the way his eyes watch your exposed throat as you tilt your head back; unlike the other person sitting there previously you don’t feel objectified, or like you were a piece of meat to devour after the sell was over. It’s refreshing, and you offer him your plate in case he might want something to eat before his break, but he refuses, of course he would.

He keeps his eye on his watch but never gets up, and as you pop a fry into your mouth you can’t help but want to talk to him as he meets your eye and looks away immediately after for the third time in a row. ‘You work here long?’ you ask to start, and it’s a lame start, but just the fact that you wanna hear about him has him leaning forward in his seat before he controls himself, sits back again.

‘Just a few years, this is actually my second job, I mainly work with Data Waste,’ he tells you, his voice getting away from him for a moment before he lowers it again; it’s obvious that no one asks about him often, just this small amount of attention enough to make his face light up in a way you don't see often anymore, at least not when you talk about work related things.

‘So, you waste all the data?’ you joke, and he leans in again, the plate pushed aside as he fights to keep his voice under control.

‘No, it’s really interesting actually, I get access to all the trashed data in the city, sift through it to find anything incriminating or important, things that were lost or gotten rid of, delete anything useless; my co-workers think it’s pretty boring, but you can’t imagine the things I’ve seen on some people.’ He stops, realizing he’s about to violate his NDA, and you chuckle as he looks around again like he expects his boss from his other job to suddenly appear and fire him.

‘Sounds exciting, you ever see anything on me?’ you can’t help but ask as you lean in as well, and there’s a slight dusting of pink on his cheeks as he sits back again.

‘I dunno, I’d need to look up your name,’ he answers honestly, and you smirk at his reply.

‘Pretty smooth way to ask for it,’ you tell him, and when he stutters out that he wasn’t you just laugh and grab the check so you can see your total. You pull out your card so you can pay, and you’re in the middle of reaching for your ex-date’s check as well so you can cover the rest when he stops you.

‘I’ve got it, you don’t have to deal with trash like him, that’s my job,’ he jokes back, and when he hands you his card reader you make sure to leave a large tip from the both of you. You hand it back and his eyes go wide, he can’t accept this, but you just flash him your most charming smile and hand him one of your business cards from your wallet, something you printed up years ago but rarely got to hand out since most people used electronic cards nowadays.

‘It’s for making me laugh, today would’ve been pretty shitty otherwise,’ you admit as you stand, and when he stands with you you can see that he really is tall. 

‘Okay, well… if I find anything I’ll give you a call, then? Just so you know what people are deleting about you on the internet,’ he offers, and you hold out your hand to shake his as your expressions softens.

‘I’d like that.’

It’s been a week and a half since your lunch date gone wrong but also surprisingly gone right again, and you’re at home working on a project when an unknown number lights up your phone. You frown at it before clicking into the chat and seeing a bunch of strange messages before the stranger clears things up.

ur sqky clean no trash on u sry it took so long was busy this is simon sry from the bar from last week sry

You smile fondly as you type in a quick reply, your phone lighting up again as he answers fast, he must’ve been waiting with baited breath on the other side. You add his number to your phone and answer back, another quick reply getting you to decide to take a snack break as you bring your phone to the kitchen. The more you chat the more he sees that he doesn’t have to use shorthand, his words lengthening and becoming more proper until you’re wondering if maybe he’s trying to find the perfect mix that won’t annoy you. Eventually he settles on a mix like you do, and you get comfy on the couch with your snack as you turn on the TV and find something to watch.

It’s hard to find things sometimes, you’ve had this older model for years and it isn’t compatible with every streaming platform’s updates anymore, which you think is dumb, but the thing works and you don’t wanna shell out money just to be able to watch whatever new reality show everyone’s talking about as it airs. You stick to your playlist of favourite movies and shows again, settling on one you’ve already seen a million times so you can chat without needing to pay attention.

After a half hour you add each other to Facsimile so you can chat more openly without wasting data, his username of 4LM0ST-HUM4N making you snicker as you check out his profile, but it’s bare apart from his age, which is around yours, and his full name, his last name being Lynch. You can’t help but look him up since you already knew he’d done the same to you, and all you can find is a dating profile on a site you’d heard about but never used.

‘“Shy and looking,”’ you say out loud to yourself as you read his info, and you sink a little further into the cushions as his unfortunately off-putting but also undeniable cute profile picture stares you directly in the eye; you can tell he took it alone, he’s all washed out in the glow of his computer instead of from the room’s overhead or any natural light, and you almost want to call him out on it and help him try again, maybe he might get some matches that way.

You don’t mention the profile as you keep chatting, and before you know it the next movie is autoplaying, your battery low with how long you’ve been on your phone. You figure it’s about time you get back to work as you tell him about the situation, and he agrees, he’s also been putting off work, and you wish him a good night, adding in, ‘That data’s not gunna waste itself.’ He sends you a bunch of laughing emojis before changing his mind and editing the message so there’s only one, to which you give him one back, and he starts typing something else but stops. You wait but he never starts up again so you leave it be, your phone charging out of reach as you get back to work.

Now that you’ve been reminded that he exists and you find his company quite pleasant, you take a ride to the bar on your lunch break the next day, keeping your eye out as casually as you can until you see him clearing a table nearby. You wait until he’s done before waving at him to get his attention, and his smile is so big that it makes him self-conscious as a group of people pass him by, it faltering as he gets out of their way. He takes his dishes to the kitchen and quickly returns to take your order, and even though you’re sitting at a table and a menu is in your hands, you surprise him when you ask him when his break is instead of telling him what you want to eat.

‘My break?’ he repeats back to you, like he doesn’t understand the question.

‘I just figured you might want to eat somewhere you don’t work,’ you simply say, and he glances at his watch to check the time.

‘I get off in 15, but we can eat here, I don’t wanna take up your break by traveling,’ he offers, but you just shake your head and set the menu down.

‘I work from home, I can take as long as I want,’ you tell him, and it’s not exactly a lie since you do have some things to for sure finish today, but losing an extra hour to hang out with your new friend seems like a pretty good tradeoff honestly. He accepts your answer and goes back to work with a shy grin, and you patiently wait at your table until he returns, a brown hoodie slung over his arm and his apron left behind. 

You get up and follow him out to the street where he gets ready to hail a cab, and thanks to your convo from last night you already knew he didn’t drive, but you don’t want him to waste any money when your car was in the parking lot. You direct him to it, and in your head you can hear your mother warning you about letting strangers into your vehicle, but apart from being a little weird he has yet to give you any red flags or warning signs, so you unlock the door and hop in.

‘There’s this place downtown that’s pretty good,’ he says as soon as he sits down, and you try not to giggle when you see how his long legs don’t really fit in the space as he tries to find the seat adjust nonchalantly. ‘They mostly do burgers, but their menu is loaded with stuff, you just need to know what to ask for.’

‘I take it you know?’

He glances at you, his hand stilling momentarily as it's wedged between the door and his seat, and when he does find the button he lets out a noise of surprise as his chair suddenly shifts backwards. ‘Yeah, yeah I go there a bunch, I think I’ve tried almost everything so far.’

‘Why not get a job there instead of here if you like it so much?’ you ask as you start the engine, and he looks down at his lap in response.

‘Cause I- I actually didn’t apply to be a waiter,’ he mumbles, your head turning towards him as you pull out onto the road.

‘Did you wanna work in the kitchen or something?’

‘I wanted to be a bartender, actually, but they needed a server, so that’s what I landed on,’ he explains, and when you go to ask for the name of the place he just directs you down the street, ignoring the GPS entirely. ‘It’s actually been a little dream of mine to open my own place, but starting a business is expensive, and saving up is a little hard even with two jobs, city living isn’t cheap.’

‘You could try for a loan?’ you suggest, but he just shakes his head.

‘I dunno… going that far would make it real, y’know? I don’t think I’m ready for it yet.’ He points to the left as he speaks so you hit your blinker and turn, this is a part of town you’ve never been to before.

‘You could always try, and if it doesn’t work out then I’ll keep cheering you on until it does.’ He’s looking at you like your words are about to make him cry, and he’s so preoccupied with you that he nearly misses the restaurant, your brakes screeching down the thankfully empty road as you back up and turn into the parking lot. You’ve never even heard of this place but the lot is almost full, and you manage to find a spot before he’s getting out and waiting for you, the chill of the fresh, spring air making you both shiver and hurry inside.

The place is warm and cozy, the smell of food instantly making you hungry even though you were feeling pretty okay just moments ago, and he smiles at you before you seat yourself and wait to be served. A large menu is placed in front of you and he was right, it is mostly burgers first and foremost, but as you turn the pages and see everything else available you feel your mouth water. You look up to ask what he recommends just in time to see his eyes disappear over the top of his own menu, and you grin and decide you can’t beat the house special, which is a double bacon burger with everything on it. He orders the same as soon as you tell the waitress, a big plate of loaded fries to split as well as onion rings added as well, and when you’re left alone again you rest your elbows on the table and get his attention.

‘How long have you been coming here? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk about it before,’ you admit, and again his eyes shine when you ask about him.

‘Most of my life, I used to live around here when I was younger so this was our go-to place when we wanted to eat out,’ he explains lively, and he looks around and gestures towards the decor. ‘It was different back then, they did a rebranding back in the early 2030s, changed the name and everything, but I still call it by its old name whenever I recommend it.’

‘What was the old name?’

‘The Hotel.’

You laugh, your hand covering your mouth as you try to keep it down. ‘I bet that might’ve caused some confusion,’ you chuckle, and he nods.

‘Oh yeah, I always have to correct myself,’ he agrees with his own laugh, the two of you still going even as your drinks are dropped off. You sip at yours, taking in everything and wondering what the place looked like back then when he stretches out and accidentally bumps your knee with his own; he quickly says sorry as he tries to retreat back to his side of the table, but you tell him it’s okay, and your reassurance makes him balk, like he’s been told off too many times for similar occurrences.

‘So, tell me, why do you wanna open your own bar?’ you quickly ask before he can shut himself off from you, his shyness returning and looking more like anxiety as he clearly gets in his own head about something so small.

‘Well, it’s just something I’ve always wanted to do, like I love the atmosphere, everyone coming together for a little while to share the space and a few drinks, it’s a good place to forget about your troubles for a bit.’ His eyes are on the table as he fiddles with the brown paper covering, your glasses creating dark rings where they’re set down on it.

‘You can say that about a lot of places,’ you add, and he agrees, but his eyes meet yours as he tries to get you to understand.

‘I know but there’s just something special about it, if your customers come there enough it can become familial, you can make bonds with people, offer them an ear when they’re sad, share in their laughter when they’re happy… I guess I’ve just always wanted to be a part of something like that.’ He looks back down again, the paper tearing and making him stop, now picking at his nails instead.

‘It sounds like you wanna connect with people, you don’t need a bar to do that,’ you say softly, carefully in case he might take offense to it, but he doesn’t, just shrugs.

‘I know, but… I still think it would be fun.’ His eyes meet yours again, and there’s something behind them as you look between them, something lonely that you haven’t seen in them before. You wonder then how long it’s been since he’s been here with someone, if his family still met up with him here, but based on his eyes you think you know the answer.

‘Well, if you do ever open that bar, then I expect free drinks for life as your first customer,’ you tease as you hold up your glass for a promising toast, and your faith in him makes his eyes look a little less lonely as he raises his own and taps the rims together. You drink as your waitress comes back with your food then, and it looks even better than the picture as you grab on tight and take a big bite. It’s the biggest burger you’ve ever eaten but it might also be the tastiest, the toppings sliding against your palms as you try to hold it all together, and you can see him having just as much trouble with his own. You laugh again and take another bite, your conversation moving onto more cheerful things as you eat, from family stories to complaints about work, bad dates to how your week was going, your overbearing but well-meaning mother to his absent father, but he isn’t as upset about it as he used to be as you sit with him and listen, he confesses. 

You douse your half of the fries in ketchup as he dips his own in ranch, and he has more onion rings than you do before you realize it, and when your plates are empty and your glasses hold nothing but melting ice you finally look at your phone and realize you’ve been there for over an hour. ‘Shit, I need to get back,’ he panics as he stands, and you wave over your waitress as you both get out your wallets.

‘Hey, I got you covered, can you go start my car?’ you tell him as he searches for the card he wants to use, but he can’t accept that, even more so than the tip from last week. ‘I insist, this was a much better date than my last one,’ you say with a wink, and he fumbles his next words as you toss him your keys. He rushes out with flushed cheeks, and you instantly let your emotions show on your face as you mentally ask yourself why the hell you actually said that as you pay.

You run out as soon as you’re done and speed off back to the bar, the car quiet until you say your goodbyes, and you watch him go until he disappears through the double doors with a small wave.

It becomes a bit of a thing for you two as you meet up for lunch every Friday after that, with you trying something new at his recommendation each time, and after around 7 weeks of this he flashes you the biggest smile as you sit down at your usual table, Simon already seated and waiting. ‘What?’ you ask, his smile spreading to you, and he holds out his phone to show that he had an appointment with the bank on Monday. ‘Oh my god, are you-?’

‘I’m doing it.’ He’s practically bouncing in his seat, only stopping when he bangs his knee off the metal support and makes the table shake, his excitement so strong that you could probably start bouncing as well if you were to be completely honest with yourself.

‘That’s amazing! Do you need a ride? We can go together, it’s after your shift is done, right? Or should I pick you up at your place?’

‘I-’ His smile falters a bit but he pushes it aside, and it feels a little forced as it returns. ‘I’ve got a ride covered, but thank you. Maybe we can meet up at the bank when it’s over? I can text you, if you’d like.’

‘I’d love that, I’ll be sure to work extra hard so we can celebrate the night away.’

Everything goes quiet as you realize what you’ve said, since while you have been texting almost daily you still have yet to hang out outside of your lunch dates; you’re not even really sure if they could even be called that seeing as, apart from you calling the first time that as a joke, neither of you actually confirmed there was anything more than friendship going on between you. Still, you both take it seriously as your usual waitress approaches to take your orders, and neither of you bring it back up again after she leaves.

‘I’m really proud of you, Simon, this is a big step you’re taking,’ you do say to break the silence, and when he looks at you you can swear he’s about to cry again; it actually hurts in a physical way whenever you see that, and you curse whoever beat him down enough to have this be his default reaction whenever you give him any kind of compliment or praise.

‘I don’t think I could’ve done it if you hadn’t cheered me on, might’ve found more excuses to put it off.’ He looks so vulnerable in this moment, his hands clasped on the table in front of him, and you glance down at them and nearly reach out to grab one when he continues. ‘Actually, because of you, I kinda started paying attention to my old LoveMatch account, turns out I got some messages when I was offline.’

Your smile freezes on your face as you unexpectedly go cold, your reaction to his words catching you off guard as talking becomes hard. ‘That’s… that’s wonderful news, anyone catch your eye?’ you finally ask, and he goes pink as he shakes his head.

‘Not yet, I didn’t get many but I still wanna check them all out, see if maybe my soulmate is one of them. Wait, that’s kinda desperate, isn’t it? I don’t actually think my soulmate is on some random dating site but… it’s nice to imagine, right? It’s like you said, I- I just wanna connect with someone.’ He’s looking only at his phone as he talks, scrolling through the unopened messages still waiting for him, and it feels like you’re watching the conversation from afar as your ears start ringing, your hands shaking as you try to figure out why you’re feeling this way.

He’s cute, you can’t deny that, and you enjoy his company a lot, but you haven’t thought about an actual relationship with him until this moment, when it was made apparent to you that that wasn’t what he wanted. And now that he was considering someone else, picturing a life with someone else, you know that you wanted to be with him, not in a casual, Friday lunch date and daily chats kind of way, but in the way where you’d visit him on his off hours or you’d bring him to your place, where you could have a nice dinner, watch movies together, no more table between you as you curl up against him or have him lean against you. You could hold his hand, and he could tell you about how his day at the bar, his bar, went and about all the new people he met, and when he was done you could cup that enticingly strong jaw of his and angle his face up to yours.

‘Are you okay?’

You blink and your vision blurs, and you quickly sniff and search your pockets for your travel-sized bottle of emergency ibuprofen. ‘Yeah, yeah I’m good, allergies are just acting up again, gunna go blow my nose and take my meds real quick before this gets gross,’ you lie with a fake smile, making sure he can’t see the label before you run off, and he buys it completely before going back to his messages. You don’t let your facade crack until you’re safe in the bathroom, the weight of how much you had fallen for him without realizing making your knees buckle, and you lock yourself in one of the stalls as you desperately try to push down the fact that he would never feel the same.

You’d managed to keep it together as you finished your lunch get together - not date, never date - but you spend the rest of the weekend moping around your apartment after that, your eyes on your phone as you lay on the couch and watch some old favourites to cheer yourself up, but each time he leaves you a message you feel your heart ache and it always takes a while before you can answer back. You give him the excuse of being a bit behind on work so you can’t chat much, and he was fine with that because he was gathering up the courage to message a couple people back, see if there were any sparks, and you have to ignore your phone entirely as you bury your head in the couch pillow and yell.

Before you know it you’re waking up where you’d fallen asleep, the TV going through the night and the sunlight streaming through the wall of windows to the right of your couch, the brightness rousing you from your restless dreams. You reach limply for your phone but the battery died during the night, and you groan and stumble over to your desk so you can charge it. As soon as it comes back to life you see that it’s much later than you thought thanks to your alarm never going off, and you find a bunch of messages waiting for you.

‘Shit! Shitshitshit!’ you swear when you see that Simon had asked you to wish him luck before his meeting, and you’re already a half hour late to reply but you do anyway as you fully push aside all your feelings to wish him all the luck you possibly can. He doesn’t answer back, because he’s obviously in the meeting, and you end up too nervous about it to eat as you let your phone charge. Instead you skip straight to getting ready for the day, having a quick but much needed shower after your weekend-long mope session. As you dry your hair you then find something nice to wear that you secretly hope he might like, some part of you overcoming the misery to hope that if he’s ready enough for a relationship to use LoveMatch again then maybe you could have a chance, and that hope fuels you as you race back to your phone to see if he’s done yet.

you dont need to pick me up taking a cab home see you friday

Your hand reaches up to cover your mouth as dread fills you then, and you quickly call him, unplugging your phone so you can sit down. ‘Simon, where are you?’ you ask the moment he picks up, and all you hear is the sound of traffic before a small sniff is picked up by his phone’s mic.

‘Don’t come, I just wanna get home right now,’ he tries to tell you, but your body is moving when you hear his small voice, how broken he sounds, your keys in your hand and a pair of flipflops that definitely aren’t weather appropriate yet on your feet so you can be out the door faster.

‘Are you still at the bank? Which one is it, I’m heading out right now.’

‘Please…’

‘I’m already in my car, where am I going?’

The resulting silence to your insistence stretches on for so long that you’re about to just try every bank in town until you find him when he gives you the address, and you know the one exactly as you speed off towards it. You arrive about ten minutes later, and you’re scanning the area when you see him huddling from the wind in the alley, his hood up and people giving him cautious glances as they pass. You roll down your window and call out to him, and when he finds you through the gap you can’t help but let out a noise of pain when you see his face; he’s been crying, you hadn’t been able to see because of his hood, but now you can see that his cheeks are damp and his eyes are red, and you hurriedly unlock the passenger door and motion for him to come over.

He hesitates a moment before wiping his cheeks and jogging over, people bumping into him with how busy the street is, but he doesn’t do or say anything even as he gets a couple insults along the way. He opens the door, sits down, and as soon as you ask where he wants to go he hides his face in his hand and starts crying again. You reach out to touch his shoulder but he pulls away, he needs space, and you don’t try again as you drive back to your place.

‘I don’t know why I thought I could do this…’ he mutters to himself as you drive, and the lump in your own throat is so thick that it hurts as you try to swallow it down. You pull back into your parking lot and he finally notices that he doesn’t know this place, and you don’t shut off the engine as you turn back towards him.

‘You don’t have to tell me about it, but I’d like it if you came up with me, please,’ is all you say, and another tear rolls down his cheek before he’s nodding, following you to the front doors. Your place is pretty high up but the elevator ride isn’t awkward as he stuffs himself into the corner opposite of you, where you can’t see him as easily. You reach your floor before you know it so you lead the way to your apartment, and when the door opens and you set your keys back down on the small shelf nearby he takes everything in with an even sadder expression, which isn’t the way you were hoping it would go at all.

‘You- you have a nice home,’ he just says, and before you can thank him he’s already turning back for the door. ‘I shouldn’t have come up, I’m sorry, you shouldn’t talk to me anymore, I’ll leave you alone now-’

‘Whoa, wait, where did this come from?’ you need to know as you stand in front of the door, and he goes to move you aside before pulling back, he doesn’t even want to touch you. ‘Simon, I know I said you didn’t have to talk about it but- what happened in there? Why can’t I talk to you anymore?’

‘Because I’m-’ He flinches away from you as his voice rises, frustration apparent among the sadness, and he leans against the wall with a dull thud. ‘I was accepted into the police academy a few years back, before I got my job at the bar; I was training to be on the bomb squad, I thought my knack for technology could help save lives, and I practiced really hard, learned to disarm nonlethal devices I built myself to show them I could do it, that I could be useful to them.

‘But when they learned I’d been building things they thought I was doing it for the wrong reasons even though there was no danger to them, like I was going to learn how to build actual bombs next using the training I received; I was just learning how to cut the power without setting anything off, I was using fucking coloured lights to do it, there were no explosives on my devices at all! But it was enough to make them think I was a danger to everyone, and they forced me to take a psych exam which I then failed by their standards. I was kicked out of the academy, lost my job when the psych eval was sent to them the following week, even lost my apartment when my landlord got word of everything, this one mistake got me evicted in the middle of winter-!

‘And the guy I talked to today heard about it too, read about all of it when they researched me to see if I was deserving of it, do you know what I heard him say to his supervisor when he thought I was out of earshot? He- he called me “unstable,” and fucking “unqualified” when I told him how much I make a year, like he didn’t trust me to pay it back, like I was a failure before the bar even opened, and maybe he’s right, maybe I am a failure, I shouldn’t have tried, I shouldn’t have fucking tried-!’

He spins and punches the wall he was just leaning against and you tense up, your eyes shutting on instinct at the crash of his knuckles through the drywall; it’s the first time you’ve seen him angry like this and it scares you, but as he pulls his hand back and looks at his bloodied knuckles you feel no fear, just sadness.

‘I’m sorry, shit, I’m so sorry,’ he apologizes under his breath, hissing as he flexes his fingers, his hand shaking from the pain, and it would be so easy to end it all right there, kick him out too and never see him again after what he’s just told you, just done, but you can’t as you take him gently by the arm and lead him to your couch. You sit him down and go off to find your first aid kit, some big and overly full thing your mother made you buy when you first moved to the city, and you’re thankful for it now as you pull out the unsealed bottle of healing spray and spritz it against his torn skin a couple times.

For once you love the future as he heals, and while he’s fine now you can’t help but take out the gauze and wrap the area next just to make sure, your fingers resting over the fabric and the back of his hand as you hold him in place. ‘You’re not a failure,’ you murmur, and he tries to pull away again but you don’t let him. ‘What happened to you… it really, really fucking sucks, and none of it was fair, but… it doesn’t make you a failure, we can just try again until we find someone who can help you get that loan.’

‘I don’t even want it, not after today.’ There’s not a single trace of a lie in his words, he’s giving up, and you want so badly to hold him but you can’t. ‘It’ll just happen again, this black mark on my life will just keep following me, why even try?’

‘Because it’s your dream, remember? You told me you wanted to connect with people, no one should be able to take that from you.’ You’re moving closer to him, slotting yourself between his legs as your knees hit the bottom of the couch, he can’t run from you like this, but it’s like you’re invisible to him in his misery.

‘But they already did.’

You let go of his hand and get up, throwing your arms around his neck in a tight hug, and he lets out a sound somewhere between surprise and relief as he’s pressed into the couch; you’re practically in his lap like this, and you try to shift until you’re beside him instead, but your arms never leave him as you back up, your frown so deep it’s starting to make your head hurt. ‘They only will when you stop fighting for it, you haven’t lost it yet,’ you tell him in a hushed whisper, and something in him breaks as he crumbles into your hug, his head on your shoulder as he grips the back of your shirt as hard as he can, like he’s drowning at sea and you’re the only thing keeping him afloat.

You pet his hair comfortingly as he keeps talking into your shoulder about how it went, how he felt so worthless when he was rejected, how he tried to explain himself but it was all shut down, the man hadn’t even wanted to hear it because he’d heard enough, how he was so upset and hurt and angry that he was afraid of himself and what he’d do, and you just comfort him as he lets it all out. It takes a while but you never rush him, or interrupt him as he vents, you just keep holding him until he’s ready to let you go. You separate, and his eyes are so red as they avoid looking at you, but you just brush his bangs to the side before getting up and grabbing the tissues.

You hand him the box, and the smile he gives you isn’t as sad as he grabs a few, the lump in your throat easing up a bit at the sight. ‘I know you probably aren’t in the mood to celebrate, but if you just wanna grab some food and watch a movie anyway I could order something, or make something here? I think the Hotel might deliver this far, lemme see if it’s on Dumbwaiter.’ You’re already on your phone to check but he’s standing, his used tissues bunched in his hand as he looks for your garbage bin, his eyes on the ground again.

‘I’m not very hungry, thank you but I think I just wanna head home,’ he says after throwing them away, and your hand lowers as you take a step towards him, standing between him and the door again.

‘Please.’ You don’t mean for it to come out but it does, this is about him, not you, you have no right to ask him to stay when he needs space, but you can’t leave him like this, not now. Finally he meets your eye, and you can see that he wants to stay as badly as you want him to, and he opens his mouth to say something before he closes the gap, stands next to you and looks down at your phone. He taps your screen back to life and scrolls before he finds the Hotel’s real name in the list of places on Dumbwaiter’s delivery partnership, and he gives the name another tap before giving you the smallest smile, and it’s genuine and even less sad as his shoulder presses into yours.

‘Order the pasta today, all of their sauces are rich and they always serve too much, and get us the goat cheese spinach dip, it’s to die for,’ he says, his voice still wavering a bit after all his crying, and you just nod before adding it all to your cart, Simon taking off his shoes so he can get comfy on your couch properly this time. You pay for the meal and join him, offering him the remote but he has nothing he wants to watch, so you go to your favourites and pick the stupidest, funniest comedy you can find, needing something silly to lift the mood, and as the food is delivered and you both laugh with full mouths that almost get you to choke you end up wishing you could have this forever, that you could move to his side and hold him again.

You don’t, your phones on the coffee table along with your plates, the space between you feeling so much wider than it actually was as he stays with you until the sun sets.

Now that he’s been to your place your friendship only grows, your meetups changing from Friday lunches to properly hanging out, and it isn’t often he gets free time between his two jobs, but most nights of his are free and you’re always ready to drop whatever you can to see him when he asks. Because of your eagerness you’re slowly becoming a pro at keeping up with your own work, the need to procrastinate fading away like never before since being caught up meant you could go to him wherever he waited. You met him at both jobs, at the Hotel - which he got you to start saying as well since he never called it by its real name - and at the park, sometimes at the mall if there was something he needed to get and he wanted some company, but you’ve still never seen his place, and you’re starting to wonder where he lived.

You know it’s in town, since he got to and from work via Brougham and being outside of town would be hell on his paychecks, but you have no idea which part other than the fact that he used to live near the Hotel when he was a kid. You’ve tried asking before, but each time you do he just brushes it off, makes some excuse to why you couldn’t pick him up or drop him off there, and you’re starting to get a bit suspicious if you were entirely honest. You know he’s not homeless, he’s told you before how it took him a bit but he did manage to find someplace permanent and all his after his eviction, but this is getting ridiculous you think when he comes up with yet another excuse as to why you can drop him off on this random street you’re driving down, he lives nearby, he can walk the rest of the way.

‘Simon, you’ve got six bags of groceries in the back seat, it is literally impossible for you to walk home with them all,’ you say firmly as he just keeps looking out the window, and his lips purse as he tries something else.

‘It isn’t far and they’re not that heavy, I can do three per hand,’ he insists, and you step on the brakes in the middle of the road, no one coming or going as he jerks forwards in his seat at the inertia.

‘Why don’t you want me to see your place?’ you ask bluntly, no longer holding back, and he gets defensive, he’s more open with his anger around you now, but he hasn’t gotten as upset since that day, and you know it’s because he doesn’t want to lose control again, doesn’t want to scare you or himself like that again.

‘I never said I didn’t.’

‘You don’t need to; is it bad neighbours, or a bad neighbourhood? I don’t care where you live, or what your place looks like, I swear I don’t, so you don’t have to keep me away,’ you tell him honestly, and for a moment you think he might tell you when he unlocks his door and heads to the back. You just sigh as he gathers everything up in both hands and thanks you for the ride, but it really is close, you don’t have to waste gas going the rest of the day, he’ll see you Friday.

‘And… you don’t wanna know where I live,’ he mutters mostly to himself before the door closes, and he’s clearly weighed down by everything but he sticks with it, and you watch him just keep going further and further down the street until you have no choice but to take a U-turn and head home, and he’s still in your rearview as you hit a right and he’s forced to disappear around the corner behind you.

It’s a little awkward for you both after that, so you don’t bring it up again to make sure things even out, and it seems to help as you keep meeting up everywhere but his place, wherever the hell it is. He’s been to yours enough times now that you almost consider giving him a spare key so he can invite himself over, but it feels too personal for friends, and when you joke about it to test the waters he nearly spits out his drink in surprise. You clarify that it’s a joke as he sputters out that he’s never had someone’s spare key before, he’s never known anyone long enough for that.

‘You’ve known me for quite a few months now, maybe it might come in handle to have a spare out there in case of emergencies,’ you say next, instantly backtracking on the joke aspect of it with a little hope, and despite you initially calling it so he also looks a little hopeful at the possibility before his phone pings loudly. The moment is ruined as he stops your post-lunch walk through the park to see who’s messaging him, and his eyes widen as his smile grows and his face flushes. ‘LoveMatch, I assume?’ you ask, your teeth clenching in jealousy behind your smile.

‘Yeah, I’ve been messaging this one girl, Jeannie, a few days now,’ he tells you as he clicks in to see what she said, and his smile is so bright at her reply that you feel your stomach drop, your jealousy transforming into something that feels so much worse. ‘I think I’m gunna ask her on a date soon, when I can get an afternoon off so we don’t meet up too late, what do you think? Or should we talk a bit more first?’

The urge to tell him he should definitely talk more first arises because it’s true, you know what meeting too soon can do to a relationship before you can get a better feel for someone, but you also want them to meet before they’re ready; you want her to go in blind because you already know how to talk to him, know that there’s no way she’ll be able to get him out of his shell enough to consider a second date. You know he’ll be nervous, so he might say something weird like he did that first time you chatted over Facsimile, and if he does then there’s a good chance she might leave the date not wanting more.

You can’t do that though, you don’t want to see him rejected like that ever again after the loan, so you ball up your fist and give him a playful tap to the shoulder as he waits for your response. ‘Give it a little more time, get to know each other better, the perfect time for a date will show itself eventually, and if it doesn’t then maybe it’s just not meant to be,’ you suggest, and he nods before one-handedly typing out a reply back to her and putting his phone away. 

‘You’re so good with this kinda stuff, I haven’t been on a real date before, it’s why I signed up for LoveMatch to begin with, so I never know where to start whenever I get a match,’ he confesses as you go back to walking, your fist still balled painfully as you hide it in your jacket pocket. 

‘I’ve been on way too many bad dates by now, I’d like to think I’m a bit of an expert on it.’ Your laugh is strained but he doesn’t seem to notice as he looks straight ahead, his cheeks still pink now that she’s on his mind.

‘I can’t wait to meet her, she works at a flower shop nearby but I haven’t been in yet, I don’t wanna creep her out or anything,’ he says as his shyness crops up again, his expression cute until you remember this isn’t for you, it’s for her.

‘Just keep talking to her and it’ll happen, and who knows? Maybe she’ll like you as mu-’ You stop yourself from saying, ‘as much as I do,’ the words unable to come out as he turns to face you with a curious expression. ‘As much as I know she will,’ you finish, and he grins at the ground before taking another drink, your shoulders bumping for just a moment before he steps to the left to give you a bit more space, and you have to grip the inside of your pocket to keep from pulling him back to you.

About a week later he messages you as you’re working, your phone lighting up and buzzing energetically near your hand, and when you open the chat he tells you that she asked him on a date. Your face falls as you force a smile he can’t see, your thumbs typing him a congrats you don’t mean, not entirely, and when he says that he’s going to take her to the park you feel almost betrayed; you know it’s not your park, it’s just someplace you visit sometimes, it wasn’t like he was bringing her to the Hotel for lunch, that would hurt so much worse.

He then says he’s been thinking about packing a picnic since it felt more romantic, and that he was going to bring roses in her favourite colours since she told him she couldn’t decide between red or orange when they were talking about it, and you almost put down your phone as your chest aches. You want it to be you, you want him to ask you to the park for a picnic, you want to be able to pack your own favourites to share with him there now that the weather is nice again, you want him to bring you roses in your favourite colours even though you’re not even that much of a flower person just because they’re from him and he’s thinking of you.

You want to be her.

You tell him that that sounds like a great idea, she’ll love it, he should tell you how it goes afterwards if he wants to, which he does, since you’re his friend.

You’re his friend.

You send him a bunch of fingers crossed emojis and get back to work so he can start planning, the date is this weekend after all and he has things he has to do now, and when you go to bed that night your thumb hovers over the Sign Up button on LoveMatch’s mobile app until you fall asleep.

Three days later you find yourself lurking outside of the park even though you fought all morning not to, not knowing the exact time they were going to meet up and spending every second continuing that fight as you tell yourself to leave before you got hurt even more. You parked a block away so he wouldn’t recognize your car, and you’re wearing one of your thicker hoodies that you prefer to save for colder weather even though it’s making you sweat like crazy, the hood up as you walk around and see if you can find him. You’ve been there for hours now when you finally decide to go, this was stupid and petty and way too jealous to be acceptable no matter how you felt for him, and just as you’re about to leave you hear his voice echo faintly across the open area.

You look over and see him approach an unfamiliar woman, Jeannie, a big bouquet of roses in his hand and his Brougham waiting for him with an open door by the curb where he was dropped off at. He waves nervously at her, and she flashes him a big smile as he hands her the roses, she seems happy about them, and they chat for a little bit as you get a good vantage point behind a nearby tree. There’s people looking at you as they pass but you don’t care, you can’t leave now, and your jealousy turns to shocked offense as you watch her expression slowly fall.

She’s uncomfortable, he’s said something that she didn’t like just like you’d feared, and he picks up on it and motions for her to wait before he jogs back to the car, he’s still going to try and fix it with the picnic. The moment he’s away from her she puts the roses down on the bench they’re standing by and bails, her footsteps fast as she puts as much distance between them before his return, and your body moves on its own as you want to chase her down, demand to know why she did that. You lose her as you hear him come back to the bench, his voice calling out to her again but she’s long gone, and you freeze with your back to him as you hear him set down the basket, his car already driving off and stranding him there.

The lump is already forming in your throat again when you hear your phone go off, and when you pick up and turn to face him he’s already looking at you, having heard the ringtone you’d assigned to him from your short distance away. He looks hurt at your presence at first, then upset, then angry, and he leaves both the roses and the basket behind as he starts to walk away.

‘Simon, wait,’ you call out to him as you race after him, his long legs carrying him farther and faster as you quickly catch up, but you being there is just insult to injury and he does not want you to be there for him today.

‘You saw it all, didn’t you?’ he demands as he just keeps walking with no destination, needing to get away from you and his heartbreak as fast as he can, and you try to walk backwards in front of him but you can’t keep the pace, not when he keeps changing directions every time you catch up.

‘I’m sorry, I wanted to make sure it went okay,’ you confess before you can come up with yet another lie, and he scoffs at it bitterly.

‘Wanted to make sure I didn’t fuck it up like the loan, right? Well, sorry to break it to you, but I fucked it up again, I’m just one big fuckup!’ He takes another sharp turn to try and lose you in a dense crowd but you grab onto him, use him like an anchor as he tries to jerk away enough to make you let go, but your grip is strong and true as not even that works. 

‘You aren’t a fuckup!’ you insist desperately in a too loud voice for being in public, a group of mothers with strollers giving you the dirtiest look at your language, but you just give them a ‘give me a break’ look back before turning your attention back to him. ‘She just doesn’t know you yet, what did you say? Maybe you can still fix it? Or you could try one of your other matches? She isn’t the only one out there, you don’t need her!’

‘I told her that I wanted to meet her at work,’ he says, and that’s not so bad until he explains why it upset her. ‘I told her that I saw her place of work in the trashed data and I wanted to surprise her by ordering the roses from her, and she didn’t like it.’

Yeah, that’ll do it.

‘She- she didn’t get that you weren’t looking her up to doxx her or stalk her or anything?’ you hurriedly ask, and he just shakes his head, his pace slowing as you exit the main road and head down a less busy street, somewhere more private, probably unintentionally on his part.

‘No, I tried to explain that but her expression said it all, and when I got back…’ He slows even more, you both know how it ended and his lip is quivering. ‘She didn’t even have to guts to say goodbye, she just wanted to leave me there like I could be thrown out like the roses, like trash, that fucking bitch!’ He kicks the trashcan you’re about to pass and it crashes hard to the ground, the contents spilling all over the sidewalk as he loses control of his anger again. ‘I’m a person, goddamnit, why does this keep…’

You step around the trash as the wind blows it into your path, creating a river between the two of you that you cross to get to him, and this time when you try to hug him he steps back, puts a hand up to keep you away.

‘Don’t, just- don’t, I can’t be touched by you right now,’ he says softly, and he isn’t crying but he looks about to as you obediently back up, the trash spreading around you and making the river swell. ‘I’m going home, I’m sorry you keep having to deal with me.’

You try to tell him otherwise but he isn’t listening as he pulls up his hood and heads back to the main road, a cab hailed before he gets in and drives away, leaves you there alone. You lower your own hood and unzip your hoodie so your body can cool a little as you walk back to your car, and when you reach the bench you see that there’s a small group of concerned people gathering around the basket, all of them clearly thinking that it might be something dangerous.

‘That’s mine, sorry, it’s just a picnic,’ you say as you approach it, and everyone can’t help but peer inside as you prove it to them. In that quick glimpse you can see that he worked hard on the contents within, he made a whole bunch and even grabbed a few different drinks as well as a bottle of wine to split, and you swallow as you relatch the lid and grab the handle. The roses are still there too and you pick them up, they’re the synthetic kind you can tell as their scent is muted compared to the real thing, he wanted her to keep them for a while without them dying, and you hold them close to your chest as you finish the trek to your car.

You don’t look at the items in your passenger seat until you get home, and when you reach your apartment you put the flowers in a waterless vase and spread out the picnic on your coffee table. You choose your favourite drink, of course he would’ve brought it out of all the possible options, and open up the wine as well as you enjoy the picnic by yourself, not wanting to let it go to waste as you try not to notice how large your couch was without him there to enjoy it with you.

He ignores your messages for a while after that, so you stop texting him to give him some space, but that doesn’t stop you from at least typing everything out and deleting it before the temptation to press send overtakes you. You look him up on LoveMatch and see that he’s offline, and after looking up Jeannie’s name you discover a recent post she made in the site’s forums section; you click in and see that she completely tried to ruin his reputation on the site, warning others to stay away from him, calling him creepy and a stalker and claiming that he would doxx any matches. Your heart races as the comments join in, insulting his picture and saying he looked like a creep, how some said they had messaged him but now they were going to block, thanking her for the warning and telling her how sorry they were for having to deal with that.

You nearly come to his rescue but there’s no point, they’ve already made up their minds, and you instead flag the post as harassment and pray that it got taken down before he saw it.

He’s seen it.

He sends you the link without another word, your request to remove it denied, and when you look for his profile you find it gone.

He misses your next Friday lunch, and you figure enough is enough as you decide that if he wasn’t going to talk to you then you were going to talk to him. You wait until he gets off work before parking across from the bar, and you keep your distance as he hails a ride and heads home for the night. Your hands are gripping the wheel way too hard the entire way there, and when the car turns into a large, mostly empty lot sans a bunch of trailers parked inside as well as a few storage containers and miscellaneous vehicles and construction things for the building across the street you just keep going and pretend like you weren’t just following him. You wait until his ride leaves as you park nearby, and you casually walk up to the one you saw him heading for and hope that he won’t kick you out immediately as you knock on the door.

There’s the sound of stumbling from inside until the door opens and you step out of its way, Simon just looking at you before a cacophony of emotions plays across his face. ‘Hey,’ you say when he doesn’t shut the door right away, ‘you stopped answering my messages, I wanted to make sure you were okay.’

‘So you followed me?’ He’s more surprised than angry, which is good, but you don’t know how long it’ll last so you talk fast, needing to get it out while you have the chance.

‘You never told me where you lived, I improvised, I’m not the one with access to trashed data here,’ you try to joke, but neither of you laugh as you just stand there on his makeshift porch, which is just big enough to hold a single lawn chair and nothing else, another sign of his isolation.

‘I never wanted you to come here,’ he mutters just quietly enough that you almost miss it, and when you lean in to listen his expression hardens. ‘Your place is so nice, you’ve got a nice view, everything is so open, you do so well for yourself. But me, even with two jobs this is all I can afford, I can’t save up for my bar when I have bills to pay, can’t get a loan because I can’t pay it off if it fails, you’ve got everything so put together and I’m-’ He stops, he’s been looking at the ground the entire time but when he falls silent he makes a point to purposefully not look at you, and you can see the shine in his eyes as he shifts from foot to foot, resists slamming the door in your face. ‘I’m a fucking loser.’

‘You’re not-’

‘I got kicked out of the academy, I got evicted, I got denied for my loan, I got dumped before my date even started and now every other match I made has me blocked, I live in a fucking trailer because I can’t afford rent in the city anymore and it’s cheap to live out this far, how am I not a loser?’ He quiets down when he starts yelling out all the reasons why he was worthless, his voice echoing over the lot, and he tries to shut the door when your hand shoots out and holds it open the second you see it move. ‘I just- I don’t understand why you keep talking to me after all that, why do you keep coming back? Why haven’t you left like everyone else? Why won’t you just- leave me alone…?’

You swallow and walk up the two-step stairs, Simon backing up until you let yourself in, the door shutting behind you and trapping your voices inside so they can’t carry anymore. ‘Because none of that defines you, it happened to you but that isn’t who you are,’ you tell him, and he’s hunched over now that he’s inside, the ceiling not high enough to accommodate him in his own home.

‘And who am I?’ he asked pathetically, but you don’t see him as pathetic, not even now as you see his home and how bare it is, the nicest thing he owns his computer over by the far window, the setup grand and expensive looking, and you fondly think to yourself that he probably built it all himself.

‘You’re smart, you’re so fucking smart, and you’re easy to talk to, and you’re a bit weird sometimes, and you word things kinda badly at the worst of times but you’re not a creep, and you’re passionate about what you want and it’s so unfair that no one’s given you a proper chance, or gotten to know the real you, not just what they’ve heard and assumed about you. You’re not a bad guy, you’re more than your black marks, you’re Simon.’

He blinks and a tear falls from his eye to the floor thanks to the angle his neck is forced to be, but he never sits even though it must be hurting him, and you wonder if maybe you’ve gotten through to him when he catches you completely off guard with what he says next: ‘Would you still think that if you knew the real me?’

‘What do you mean?’ You’ve known him for half a year now, there wasn’t any side of him you hadn’t seen yet, but apparently there was as another tear falls.

‘I killed someone, about five years ago now.’

You stagger back into the door, the wind knocked out of you at this revelation, and he shuts his eyes and looks away from your expression as one of pain takes over his own face. ‘What are you talking about?’ you ask quietly, your voice failing you the first time you try, and he flinches at your words like you’d just screamed them in his face.

‘Back when I was evicted I was looking for people to room with, just temporarily until I could get back on my feet, and this guy had answered my ad, invited me over to check out his place. I should’ve been more cautious but it was so cold I couldn’t wait, and when I got there he tried to mug me, take whatever I had left. I fought back in self-defense, but when I almost got away he started attacking me, wanted to keep me there until his actual roommate got home so he had help, and I-’ He sits down then, his hands shaking as he goes back to that time, and your back leaves the door as he looks up at you with such sadness that your chest feels hollow. ‘He tried to kill me, I was only trying to defend myself, I didn’t mean to hurt him so bad, I just wanted to find somewhere to stay, it was so cold outside…’

‘What happened after that?’ You think you might’ve just mouthed the words with how much your voice breaks, but he understands you anyways.

‘The roommate came home while I- while it was happening, called the cops, and when they saw me standing there covered in blood, holding the knife still, they instantly ruled it as a homicide and arrested me. I was able to plead not guilty but they took one look at my bad psych eval and thought I’d snapped, killed him outta malice or something, it was only by a miracle that the evidence was in my favour.’

‘And the roommate?’

‘They searched the place and found evidence of all the others before me that’d fallen for the con, he was charged and arrested and I made bail, but after that my mother never talked to me again, even though I was acquitted.’ It looks like a weight’s been lifted now that he’s said it, but he also looks so fucking tired, most of him taking up his small loveseat couch. You want to go to him but you can’t move, your body refusing to shift even an inch in case he didn’t want you to, and he looks you over before something in his eyes begs you please; you let out a small noise as you fall to the ground between his knees, your hand holding his just like you had when you’d wrapped him up.

‘Why are you still here? Why haven’t you thrown me out yet?’ he weakly asks you, and you can’t lie to him any longer as you hold his hand up to your cheek.

‘Don’t you know what you mean to me?’ you need to know, your voice so small that again you’re not even sure if any of it even comes out, and he lets out a breath that sounds so desperate and broken it makes you wonder just how long he’s been holding it: days, weeks, months, since the moment you met?

‘I didn’t want to hope- you… you’re my only friend, I didn’t want to ruin everything and lose you too,’ he whispers as he properly holds you, his palm so warm against your skin, and you lean into his touch as you let out the breath you were holding in return.

‘You almost broke my heart when you said you went back to LoveMatch, I wanted to tell you so badly,’ you’re finally able to confess, and when you do his other hand finds your arm, holds you with just enough pressure that you know he wants you there.

‘Why didn’t you?’

‘I didn’t want to ruin everything either.’

He leans forward until his forehead rests against yours, and when you open your eyes and look into his you can see everything you ever wanted again, all of it feeling so real and within reach as you brush his bangs aside, rest your hand on the back of his neck. His other hand comes up to cup your other cheek, and he’s shaking slightly like he’s afraid to touch you even though he already is because this time it’d be his decision to, his lips parting as he stares down at your own, and when he touches you you lean up and close the space between you.

He sighs against your mouth as you kiss him, it so full of relief and contentment and joy, and you wrap your arms around his neck again as you successfully sit in his lap this time. His lack of experience is apparent but you have no complaints as you deepen the kiss, needing more now that you could have it, and he lets you have everything you ever wanted as he leans back against the cushions until his head hits the metal wall behind him. He mutters an ow as he lets go of you to rub his head, and you laugh before catching his mouth again, which he eagerly allows you to do; he eats up all your attention, starving for it as he gets more into it, needing whatever you can give after so many rejections, and you’re happy to give it all back as you kiss his neck.

‘I was so proud of you when you told me you were trying for the loan, I really wanted to celebrate with you,’ you whisper into his skin, and you can feel him shiver as he lets out a soft moan and tilts his head to the side so you have easier access. ‘You’ve been trying so hard, please let me reward you, I want to be the first to…’

He moans your name as his hips start to move, try to find friction against you, and you shift until he does, his jaw going slack as he holds you by your thighs, perfects the angle even more.

‘When I saw you with her I wanted it to be me, I hated myself for wanting her to go, but she didn’t deserve you, I’ll never leave, and I want the next time we meet to be a real date, whether it’s at the Hotel or the park or my place or here, I want to be with you.’

He makes a noise of pure want, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to swallow back the sob that follows, he was always weak to your compliments but you need him to know how worth it he is to you, how much he deserves this after everything he’s been through.

‘You’re wonderful, I love spending time with you, you’re everything I want.’

A tear escapes between his tightly shut eyelids and you kiss it away before going to his jaw, pressing your lips along it before you find his mouth again.

‘I really like you, Simon, you mean so much to me, I’m so glad I got to meet you.’

He’s practically whimpering in your lap as he cries harder, his hips never stopping, he needs this so much but so do you, and you let him use you as the growing pressure wrenches a moan from your lips.

‘I love-’

You don’t get to finish as he comes apart underneath you, his body shuddering as he grips you tight and gasps out a series of choked out moans, your eyes fluttering shut as you feel it all travel from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes. You feel the heat between your thighs as he slowly catches his breath, his cheeks turning red under streams of tears in embarrassment for coming from just this much, but you just kiss the tip of his nose and rest your chest against his, let him feel how hard your heart was beating.

‘I love you,’ you whisper now that you can, and he looks at you like you’ve just given him the sun and the moon on a golden platter.

‘I’m so glad I texted you back then,’ he confesses against your cheek, his hands leaving your thighs to rest on your back, keeping you close, ‘I think I started to love you the moment you wanted to actually talk to me.’

‘Lucky for me your standards are so low,’ you joke, but it falls flat in the best of ways as he nuzzles into your neck.

‘It was all I needed, I just wanted someone to believe in me.’ He presses a single kiss to the space where your neck meets your shoulder, and your nails scrape lightly against his scalp as you let out a sigh at the feeling.

‘I told you, I’ll keep cheering you on until it works,’ you remind him, and he sits up straight so he can hold you even closer in his hug, your bodies fitting together perfectly as you hold him back and don’t let go.

The snow is falling lightly outside as you stretch in your chair, your back cracking as you raise your arms high above your head. You’re all done for the day, everything on your list checked off as you glance at the time and see that it’s almost 8PM, he’ll be there soon. You stand and bring the feeling back to your legs before grabbing the remote and turning on the TV, queuing up the next episode of the show you’re marathoning only one at a time each night. You let the recap and intro play and then press pause, it’s nearly time now, and you’re in the middle of grabbing the plates and utensils when you hear a knock at the door. You unlock it and open up to reveal Simon on the other side, all bound up in a large winter jacket, his scarf pulled up high enough to cover his nose and mouth from the cold.

‘You forget your key at work again?’ you tease as he walks in, trailing snow over to the mat where he can take his boots off.

‘Kinda hard to unlock the door with both hands full,’ he points out with a smirk as he then sets the food brought from said work on the table. ‘It’s busy tonight despite the snow, lots of people coming in to escape the chill, had to order these early to make sure they were done on time.’

‘You know I can always make something before you get back, you don’t have to keep bothering Elison over it,’ you remind him, but he won’t hear of it, he loves being able to bring you back something so you don’t have to stop working until you’re ready and you know it.

‘I convinced him to leave the Hotel to come work for me, might as well use him,’ is what he has to say to that, and you can’t argue with it as you both transfer your dinners onto the plates you set out. ‘Besides, it’s the only way I can get my favourites without having to drive across town, that’s a good enough reason to keep bothering him.’

You hum in agreement as you sit down together, the episode playing as soon as you’re settled, and when you’re done eating he curls up next to you, rests his head against your shoulder even though it hurts his neck. You take pity on him and adjust so he can lay more properly, his face still red from the winter chill, and you find yourself paying more attention to him until he feels your eyes on him.

‘You think we can do two episodes tonight before you go back? We’re so close to the season finale,’ you plead in that tone of voice that always gets him, and he looks like he really wants to say yes but he can’t, he doesn’t like leaving the place for so long as is even though his staff is more than capable of watching over things for an hour without him; outside of the weekend it’s the only time you can be together until he gets home at 2AM, when you’re already asleep most nights, and before he leaves again by 9AM, at least until the new year where he plans on hiring more staff if things keep getting better.

‘Not tonight, maybe tomorrow if it’ll calm down when the storm hits, I’ll call it early if it’s bad enough,’ he promises, and you smile and hold his hand as you rewind the episode back to before you stopped watching.

‘Should I be so jealous of a bar?’ you ask rhetorically, and he answers you yes before you playfully hit him and press play again. ‘Maybe I should start working for you part-time, I miss our Friday lunches, you’re too busy for me now.’

‘I’m never too busy for you,’ he reassures you so gently and genuinely before kissing you, the scene you just rewound to getting ignored again as you don’t let him go after just one. ‘I wouldn’t mind having you there, though, even if I think we might not get a lot done whenever you’re there.’

‘I’m just trying to make some C0NN3CT10N$,’ you say as slowly and as slyly as you can, drawing out the word as he just stares at you, ‘y’know like the bar’s na-’

He silences you with another kiss, this one a little more chaste as he laughs against your lips. ‘Yeah, yeah I know,’ he chuckles, and once again the episode is rewound so you can watch it, your arms around him for the rest of the hour he sets aside just for you each night, and in your head you make a mental note to thank your mother for recommending that son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker 10 months too late as he lovingly holds you right back.

[your-queer-dad]

hey dad,

my friend (lets call them A) talked to some of my friends about how me, them and one of my other friends (lets say they are B) about how A and B use they/them pronouns and how some days im fine with she/her but i prefer they/them, so friend uhh lets say friend C was like yeah, cool, sure, can do, fine with me (not in those exact words) and then friend lets say D was like yeah ill try but why didnt they (me and B) tell them (C and D) ourselves.

the reason i didnt tell D is because she on that day showed me a tiktok that was like 'yeah i mean i guess people keep saying theres more than 2 genders but in a hundred years people are gunna dig us up and they will only see two genders" and that crap and she gave me an expression that was like "wait actually this guy has a point". and i just nodded and go back to reading (context we were on the bus and my book was quite exciting and i didnt have the energy to say nah that guy is wrong and explain why)

A was like well maybe they (me and B) were worried about how you would react. and she was like idc abt what pronouns my friends use i dont know why they would think id react badly, and A was like well when i came out (for context A has changed their name and pronouns and its on the roll and stuff) you used she/her for me when you knew i went by they/them

so this is where its less about me so D is like well ive known B since like year 1 and its hard to call them not a girl since thats what ive always known them as (half a lie B has been out to her for about a year now) and A being the angel they are was like yes i know its hard and it takes time.

then she (D) says and i quote:

but also calling someone not he or she is just strange to me, as you know i never got it with you but i got your new name it just doesnt sound right to me and in my brain theres girl and boy and thats it... i mean i know theres more now but its just weird to me (not in a hate people who want to be called that way) but you know

and i mean its not a suprise she thinks this way to me, but considering about half (3/7) of our school friend group are non binary its a but worrying.

now on to today today she called B she/her the entire day not one they/them, but she did call A they once i dont think she called them she. C wasnt there today

sorry this is so long, and its just me overthinking everything but i kinda needed to talk to someone about it

-galaxy

Hey kiddo, I don't think you're overthinking but I also don't think your friend is being intentionally harmful. It's hard when you've been raised one way and it changes, but also your friend needs to respect your pronouns and names and maybe educate herself about it, if half of your friend group is non-binary.

- dad x

[citrusses]

right, so, I just found your blog through one of your rec lists (the burn it all down one) and ended up reading nearly every fic on the list in one sitting because of how good they are. and so i trust your taste haha but i also have no idea if you've already answered an ask like this. anyways.

do you have any recs for (drarry) fics that are draco angst centric, like draco whump or draco h/c but happy ending. preferably from his pov?

bonus points if you have any the following elements but not necessary: 1) him being soft for harry/kind to harry etc 2) harry takes care of him 3)him just being sooooo besotted with harry like cannot stop thinking about that boy.

Hi love! I am honored to be trusted by you! I see that we both adore Draco but also like seeing him suffer? 😊 Please enjoy some of my favorite Draco + angst (Drangst?) - and I hope you like long fics! This got out of hand so there's more beneath the cut.

Draco POV + Angst

Turning Leaves by @kbrick (E, 112,654)

Draco and Harry have a one-night stand that ends in disaster after Harry tells Draco he's unable to move beyond their poisonous past. So when Draco finds an unusual Time-Turner in the Department of Mysteries, he seizes the opportunity to start fresh with Harry. Only instead of fixing things, he keeps making them worse.

Another Mask Behind You by @letteredlettered (E, 116,557)

Draco is a high-end prostitute who hides his identity. Harry unknowingly hires him. And then there is porn, questions about identity, domestic bliss, more porn, and truth as seen through a web of lies.

Dwelling on Dreams by @the-sinking-ship (E, 135,588)

Draco thought he could avoid Potter for the duration of his brief return to England. He’d stick to his schedule and be back home in Paris, where he belonged, in a few short months. No trouble at all. He had plenty to occupy him, what with the opening of the London branch of his successful apothecary, his innovative research, drinks with Pansy, a backlog of unread potions periodicals.

Nor All That Glisters by @sweet-s0rr0w (E, 110,625)

Lonely and frustrated on house arrest, with no prospects for the future, Draco begins brewing Felix Felicis in an attempt to improve his lot. Just in the short term, of course. He isn’t a total idiot.

The (Third) Worst Year by @the-francakes (E, 20,041)

Draco Malfoy has one year to fall in True Love with Harry Potter or be turned into a Dragon. And he knows that is never gunna happen. This is going to be the worst year of his life.

Draco Angst + Dual POV

I Do Not Love You by Writ_and_romance (M, 228,290)

In 2013, a carefully-designed Obliviation leaves Harry reconfiguring his life and identity without any memories of true love; an act that's essentially erased Draco Malfoy from his mind despite a wedding band and shared home.

Two to Lie and One to Listen by @fluxweeed (E, 84,562)

It’s weird when Hermione announces that she and Ron have broken up. It’s weirder when this is followed by the revelation that she’s already moved on—and the new object of her affections is Draco Malfoy. Things only get worse from there.

Close Behind by @oflights (M, 134,215)

To rescue Draco from the Underworld, Harry has to look forward. Unfortunately, Draco has to look back.

Angsty Draco POV + Soft for Harry/Harry Takes Cares of Draco

Way Down We Go by @xiaq (T, 109,767)

The war was over. Or at least that’s what the papers said. They’d been saying it, for months, as if people needed reminding. Maybe they did.

Once More With Feeling by InnerLilith (E, 28,647)

Draco is dosed with a consummation-compelling potion, with Harry Potter as his intended. It’s a cruel irony, because he’s wanted Potter for years. But not like this.

The Unknown Door by @amywaterwings (E, 60,970)

There is something wrong with the Bellcrest. The heart of the place beats rotten. Everyone says so. Where Draco is a magical property manager, Harry is a recluse, and they’re definitely not hiding from their problems in the run-down flats of the Bellcrest. Not at all. Not one bit.

The Ordeal of Being Known by @lou-isfake (M, 146,637)

When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter.

Waiting By An Open Door by @femmequixotic & @noeeon (E, 29,506)

Draco starts following Potterwatch secretly during the War. He wishes Potter would come save him too. But that sort of thing only happens in fairy tales, and Malfoys don't get fairy tale endings, do they?

Unspecified Draco Angst

Grounds for Divorce by Tepre (E, 122,217)

Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter. A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

Anything by Gallaplacidia, top-tier Drangst.

[bosstoaster]

Sorry if this is unwarranted, but has your writing process been affected by the switch from a large fandom (voltron) to a smaller fandom (mgs)? I imagine that though you'll get less feedback it is nice to be known by most readers in a smaller fandom?

Not unwarranted at all! By all means, ask away.

Well, for me, the switch wasn't so dramatic because I was already in a pretty niche part of the Voltron fan space. My Shiro focus (and later, my focus on specifically his clone) meant I was never doing crazy numbers compared to the size of the fandom. Which, to be frank, was something I was glad for. In that fandom I didn't want crazy attention because it meant I was going to be harassed for the crime of -checks notes- not following along with the moving goalpost of whatever made the big ship the only one that was allowed. So.

I think there's also a degree of 'I'm one of a crowd of people, therefore I don't have to comment, someone else will' in bigger fandoms too. Ratio wise, I technically get more comments-per-hit in MGS. I did the math, and I compared A Secret I Will Keep (originally standalone, first fic in a fandom) vs Your Grace is Wasted (originally standalone, first fic in a fandom).

Secret has 81 comment threads to 4,250 hits, which is about 1.9% comments to hits. Grace has 178 comment threads to 24,960 hits, which is .7%.

This is all mostly academic, though, because at the end of the day it does come down to how it feels. And I will say that I feel deeps in response from MGS much more than I did in Voltron. If I don't get comments within 24-48 hours, I know it means that the couple of people who consistently review might just be busy, but also it feels really bad, actually! It makes me worried if I seriously fucked something up and people are bailing on me.

I also don't really get 'big fish in a small pond' vibes too much? Once in a while I'll be in a more public Discord group and get 'oh hey I know your fics' responses, or someone new will join one of my regular areas and they'll know my work ahead of time. That does feel pretty sweet. Not gunna lie. But 90% of the time I'm with friends and then, ya know, I'm just part of the gang. And that's really how I prefer my fandom experience.

I wish I was building up to some greater conclusion, but I guess I'm not. End of the day, I'm some weirdo who has too many feelings about clone boys, and I do really, really appreciate the feedback I get for them.

But let's be real, you don't get author BNFs these days, or at least really rarely. So... shrug emojis all around on this one, folks. I'm rambling.

I have no idea if this answered what you wanted to find.

[the-pan-ace-writings]

Cartel Protection

First Next Last Masterlist AO3

A/n

im not gunna lie guys this one took me way longer than i thought it was going too, so im hoping ill be able to post at least weekly on Sundays. hopefully more than once a week

also!! Im not going to embarrass myself or others with attempting to translate Spanish and i think for coherency and comprehension i am just going to stick to italicized typing to indicate Spanish

Thank you!

   They found themselves alone on yet another airstrip. The chaos of the last mission washed away in cold base showers, and was forgotten over a basic meal with the remainder of their team. They had gotten orders that just Ghost with Soap and Badger were going off to Mexico to meet up  with the Mexican special forces on another tip off that Hassan was there. 

   It was a relatively smooth ride in a cargo transport to Las Almas, and passed in as much silence as Soap could manage when he hadn't sprawled himself out on several of the wall seats to sleep. 

   They landed in the early hour of the morning, the sun was barely rising casting a golden hue upon the new airstrip as they walked down the ramp to meet a rather stoic looking man. As they stepped out of the hull of the plane Soap was first to acknowledge the man as the Commander of the Special forces that they are linking up with. 

   “Alejandro!” 

   “Sergeant MacTavish” his voice was deep, and gravelly, he seemed less stoic as he was speaking, he reached for Soap's hand in a shake. Soap met it with a mild smile as Ghost and Badger finished getting all the way down the ramp and joined them. 

   “Call me Soap, That's Badger” he nodded over his shoulder towards Badger who  just nodded politely at the Colonel. Alejandro nodded and turned towards Ghost

   “Lieutenant, Laswell says they call you Ghost” 

   “Actually, I believes he prefers to be --” Ghost turned sharply to Soap and interrupted him

   “That’ll do.” Badger watched Soap’s face pinch up as he was foiled in his joke, he bumped his shoulder into Soaps as consolation before turning his attention back to Alejandro,

   “Welcome to the City of Souls' ' He turned on his heel and started walking to the first truck in a small caravan on the airstrip.

   “I've never been to Mexico” Soap took the lead following the colonel,

   “This isn't México,” Alejandro raised his arms to gesture around them, highlighting the mountains lit up in gold and the slow moving clouds, a small smile graced his lips when he spoke again “This is Las Almas” it was home to him, that much was obvious to Badger. 

   “Shepherd's contractors are inbound for reinforcements. They’re bringing hardware, they'll need room.” and there is Ghost, always straight to the point.

   “My base is your base.” Alejandro responded simply 

   “Good. Now, where’s Hassan?” Badger was a straightforward person but seemed to constantly be getting whiplash from the manner that Ghost spoke to people, he understood pleasantry always had their time and place, but maybe meeting an Ally for the first time was the time to use them regardless of how urgent their mission might be. 

   He was surprised that Alejandro took it in stride though instead of seeming off put by it,

   “Cartel Safe-house, ten clicks from here.” they reached the truck, “get in.”

   Ghost climbed in as Soap and Badger went to the other side, Soap stood dumbly for a second clearly trying to avoid the middle, Badger rolled his eyes and pushed him forward.

   “Get in chatty Cathy, ain't got all day” Soap looked taken a back before another more rougher push got him going,

   “Shut yer pus, im goin” He swatted at him as he climbed in and settled down with a huff, once Badger was in Soap seemed to purposely take up as much of his room as possible, Badger supposed it was only fair. 

   “C’mon, let's move!” Alejandro shouted to the rest of the caravan before climbing into his seat of the truck, he waves a head over to the driver, “This is my second in command, Sergeant Major Rodolfo Parra.” 

   Rodolfo smiled and leaned over to Alejandro just slightly, a look of false concern crossed his face as he spoke to Alejandro, “I’m afraid of Ghosts” Alejandro snorts and swipes at his shoulder before pointing to the road for him to start moving, he turned over his shoulder and looked at the men piled into the back. 

   “You know Spanish?” Ghost just looked away, and Soap shook his head lightly and muttered a no, Badger raised his hands and made a so-so gesture and then looked up into the rearview mirror to catch Rodolfos gaze.

   “Enough” Alejandro smiles at that before turning to Soap.

   “You will”

   The sun had fully risen by the time they made it to the colorful city of Las Almas, Badger was enraptured  by the colors of the buildings and the vibrancy of the people. The city was bustling for the early hours of the day, the streets were lined with cars and people chatted in door frames and in shops. A white truck passed them in the opposite direction with four men in the back of it. 

   Badger hadn't realized how much Soap had pushed into his space till he felt rather than heard Soap call it out, and he had to grab his arm to keep him from going for his weapon. He saw Ghost tense as well and tossed him a look before Alejandro turned around looking annoyed. 

   “Hey- tranquilo. Easy-- that's normal here.” he waved his hands as he spoke “Guns on the street is the jurisdiction of the police.”

   “Where are the police?” Ghost spoke up this time

   “Well, Las almas has a very serious problem, there are few here to uphold the law. And many of those who resist corruption disappear.”  

   “What about the military?” the tone that Soap spoke in unsettled Badger, these guys were supposed to be allies, interrogating them seemed like the wrong move. 

   “Well, because we are well trained, soldiers are recruited by the narcos” he spoke off handley as if he hadn't noticed the change in tone and instead looked at them through the mirror again

    "Why not you?” Ghost just barely avoided interrupting Alejandro, Badger tightened the forgotten grip on Soap before looking down at where he had grabbed his arm previously, Soap seemed to not have noticed that his grip lingered, Badger frowned slightly and tucked his hands back to himself and turned to look out the window again, watching the street go past. 

   He saw Alejandro lean back over towards Rodolfo and shrug his shoulders

   “We grew up here, they call us Los Vaqueros” he smiled at Rodolfo again but turned to look back at Badger when he spoke up,

   “Cowboys?”

   “Si, Cowboys, we love this place. And we will die fighting for it.” That familiar warmth was back in his voice from the airstrip, Rodolfo seemed to share the same sentiment,

   They drove past a street vendor at the corner of the street, it was a quaint little cart decorated with colorful cloth banners, Badger couldn't see what was being sold but did see the little family speaking with the vendor. He also saw the two armed men just a few steps away from the family. It was a stark contrast. Badger grunted when he felt almost the full weight of Soap pushing against him yet again as he tried to look out the window, Badger just looked over at Ghost with mild annoyance, he just rolled his eyes at him. 

   Soap started to lean back as they drove further away from them,

   “Kids, guns and balloons. That's a new one.'' Again with the confronting tone, Badger elbowed him back into his place in the middle and swatted away a retaliatory hand and gave Soap a stern look. 

   “Narcos use generosity to win over the people” Alejandro was watching ahead as the traffic started to slow as it became backed up. 

   “Even the children?” Soap questioned. 

   “Especially the children.” It was Rodolfo that spoke this time, a slight glare reaching them from the mirror again, Soap had the decency to look a little sheepish. It was clear he was getting annoyed at the interrogation that  Soap was putting up. 

   The traffic reached a standstill and they were stopped next to a taped off alleyway that had a truck and two bodies on the ground behind it covered by sheets that were covered in scrawling writing. Badger was mildly thankful that it was on the other side of the truck and extra thankful that Soap seemed to have enough common sense to not pull the same shit with Ghost, and instead just sits up more to look out the window without pressing into Ghost. 

   “What's on those sheets?” 

   “Nacromantras” Alejandro looked upset from the sight of the scene and it was reflected in his voice.

   “Cartel Cloths” Rodolfo clarified for them “Messages from El Sin Nombre. Warning, marking territory.” The caravan started moving again, Alejandro shook his head in disgust

   “Our streets are laced with death,” he said it like a curse before pointedly looking away from the scene. 

   “Who is Sin Nombre?” the misspoken name sounded rough from Ghost

   “El Sin Nombre,” Alejandro corrects him, “the Nameless, the leader of the Las Almas Cartel”

   “Where can we find him?” Soap spoke but then seemed distracted by a rather large mural that they started to drive by. It was painted on a three story house. It had what was clearly a symbol for the Las Almas Cartel painted directly in the middle surrounded by vibrate roses, motifs of the Madonna and guns, a banner was painted just below the symbol EL SIN NOMBRE filled the banner and just below that was likely more of the naromantras from the sheet but it passed to fast for Badger to be sure. 

   Alejandro was also caught by the mural, “ You can't, no one knows who he is. But he is everywhere and this a challenge” He turned back to Rodolfo and chuckled “But Los Vaqueros like Challenges” Rodolfo nodded back to Alejandro before he looked back through the mirror again looking back at Ghost specifically.

   “With your mask, you'll fit in well here, Ghost” Badger stifled a smile as he watched Ghost slowly turn his attention to Rodolfo in the mirror, his eyes were like ice and he just stared. Rodolfo's smile faltered as he caught Soap making a “don't do that” hand motion

   “Hey easy”  Alejandro tried to comfort before being distracted by an upcoming checkpoint, “Checkpoint, Its the Army, turn right, we’ll go around”

   Soap pursed his lips in confusion before leaning forward to question as the took the turn down a narrower road,

   “Why?”

   “Some troops are in the pocket of El Sin Nombre, like I told you. He is Everywhere” Alejandro looked frustrated, leaning back to speak to them “cartel is hiding Hassan in the Village across the river, let's hope he's still there” 

   The road they took turned into something that could barely be called a road, mostly just packed dirt from frequent use. They remained in silence for a while, badger was messing with his comm unit, pinning the ear piece into place and then started to mess with the inputs on the unit. He looked up and started to ask for the right input so their comms would all be linked but Alejandro had caught on to what he was doing and without having to ask to read off the correct codes to join their systems.

Badger fixed Soaps comms to the right settings as well and watched over as Ghost adjusted his. 

   They parked just outside of the village, Soap Ghost and Alejandro stepped out first and went to grab kits from the back of the truck, Badger was stepping down out of the truck when Rodolfo spoke to him, he was adjusting his comms unit as well.

   “I would’ve  thought someone with the name Badger would be asking all the questions” 

   Badger looked back at him a little sheepish, he had noticed how much all of  Soap's questions had bothered both of them, and while Rodolfo was better at hiding it than Alejandro it was still evident even if Soap hadn't noticed. Or cared. 

   “Badger for a different reason,” He looked over at him before he collected is own kit “sorry to disappoint” Rodolfo just patted his shoulder before heading over to Alejandro, who had just called for all the team leaders to circle up on him. 

   “Where are they holding Hassan?” Soap joined them in the circle with Ghost right behind him. 

   “White two story building, back of town” Alejandro fist bumps Rodolfo before pointing off towards a gate that seemed to lead into the town, and with a wave of his hand Alejandro leads them off towards the town, as Rodolfo takes his team off a different way. 

   They gather around the gate, Alejandro has bracketed himself to breach the door and coordinates over the comms with Rodolfo's team. 

   This town lacked the colors that Las Almas had; the buildings were all browns, whites and oranges, they all seemed beaten down and in disrepair. It also lacked the people that las almas had, there wasn't just less people here there was no people here and it left the town eerily quiet

   “Where are the civilians?’ Soap spoke up as he walked past a window that was broken peeping his head inside as they passed

   “Gone, Cartel took over people left, it's a hideout now”

   “Good place to keep Hassan then” 

   They approached another black gate and could hear the cartel men clamoring around as they started to notice the breach into the town, this gate was left partially open. Ghost pushed it further open and Alejandro went guns blazing through the gate with Soap and Badger behind on his heels. 

There was a brick building to their right as they burst through the gate and a white building down at the end of the slope little more than a hovel. Cartelmen used them for cover trying to avoid the hellstorm that was Alejandro's team. It was easy to clear them, they wore little for protection and seemed to only have rudimentary grasp on their weapons. Alejandro ordered a push forward. The man called Rodriguez moved with them as they pushed further into the town and into an ally. 

   Badger crossed the ally fast and took cover behind the white building, Soap cleared the final man from inside as they moved. More firing from further up the ally. Three more cartelmen dropped from their fire. He called another push up and made a break for a set of cement stairs and just barely took cover fast enough to be missed by incoming fire that broke up the brick wall behind him into pebbles. 

   Alejandro was pinned down behind the stairs unable to make anything other than blind return fire, Soap had pushed past Badger and peaked from the corner of the building into the alley way, took aim and downed the final cartelman. He called clear

   "Secure this house, then we go for Hassan” Alejandro ordered as he got up from his spot behind the stairs, he pointed to the orange brick house that ended the alley in a dead end. 

   “Cartel will move him fast.” Ghost protested as he also came out from his cover behind an abandoned cupboard against the wall behind them, he had taken rearguard with Rodriguez,

   “Then we move faster” Alejandro moved up to the teal door of the house, crouched low waiting to enter as soon as the door was breached. Badger moved to the door and waited for his signal to break it down. 

   The door almost shattered as he kicked it down, it was much thinner than he expected so he almost tipped into the room had Ghost not pulled back on his vest roughly settling him back on two solid feet before He Soap and Alejandro burst into the house, clearing it as they went. Badger and Rodriguez held rear guard until Clear was called again. 

   They joined them in the house, which was low ceilinged, dark and now littered with dead men, a great sight to be in a forgotten child bedroom.

   “What happened to the families here?” Badger asked as he entered the kitchen area

   “The cartels bring violence, so they leave '' he was short with his answer, gruff it was clear the lack of control he had on the cartels upset him greatly. “Lets go, get ready to move” 

   Soap takes the lead to the door in the kitchen that goes to the outside, Soap made a show of using the deadbolt to unlock the door, tossing a ”see its simple”  look to Badger as he started to open the door, Alejandro’s hand pushed the door shut, and pointed out the window “Stand By. Victor-2 this 1-1, Deploy smoke. We’re moving external” 

   “Copy, smoke out” Rudy called back over the comms and the plunging of smoke canisters could be heard as they struck the ground and slowly filing the atmosphere with cover

   Soap broke the silence that had comfortably fallen as they took the second to prepare for rushing the next house.

   “Where’s your Family? Alejandro?” Badger snapped his attention to him, eyes slightly wide and a grimace set in place. The man simply didn't think before he spoke. He flicked his eyes over to Ghost where he stood watch at a window. Ghost didn't seem to care about Soaps dumbassery and just rolled his eyes when Badger looked over.

   Alejandro took a deep breath before he spoke. 

   “I keep that a secret, hermano, to protect them.” it came out stern but not angry much to Badger's surprise. He watched as Soap opened his mouth to speak again, but was thankfully cut off by Ghost.

   “We have concealment” 

   “Let's Move, on me Soap” Alejandro clasped Soap on the shoulder, removing the hand he had blocking the door. The moment it was open Alejandro took off towards the large two story house just across the courtyard. 

   The door was broken into with ease and the first floor was cleared too easily, there was an unsettling lack of resistance for a house that was supposed to contain Hassan. It set Badger on edge. 

   “Clear! No Hassan!” Alejandro calls out as he moves towards the stairs, 

   “Second deck” Ghost orders as he makes his way up towards the loft, the rest of the team in tow. It was also cleared in seconds. Alejandro cursed as it became obvious they missed Hassan.

   The house was littered with dead men and weapons, it also was strewn with dolls and other toys, a kids bike was broken on the floor in the kitchen, the bedrooms had been decorated in accordance to those that had previously lived here, those that had clearly left the house in a hurry as boxes that had likely been hastily packed laid turned over just about everywhere you looked. 

   When Badger made it back up to the loft, Ghost was looking through files on the desk, Alejandro Soap and Rodriguez were discussing Hassan and the intel that they operated on. Badger went to the big bay windows and found a photo of the family that had lived here toppled over, he had bent down to pick it up when movement up on the roads caught his eye. 

   A Caravan was rolling into the village, and fast. They were tearing up the roads and kicking dirt into the air behind them. Badger sat back up quickly, the speed of the action grabbed the attention of the others, he was about to speak when Rodolfos voice broke over the comms.

   “Commander! Army is rolling in!” Fucking hell this was going to be bad.

   “Shit” 

   Ghost looked up from the paperwork on the desk to Badger, “What is it?”

   Alejandro answered for him. “The Army”

   Soap joined him at the window to look out to the ever closing Mexican Army Transport. He looked confused.

   “We’ve got reinforcements”

   “Negative.” Alejandro sounded grim. “0-3, fall back, fall back”

   “Copy that”

   Ghost caught on quick and stepped away from the desk and took up a spot couched in front of one the bay windows.  “What’re we doing?”

   “Covering my men,” Alejandro waved up to Rodriguez to block the entrance of the loft, dragging a shelf over to the door, and pushing the couch against that. “Once they’re clear, we fall back” 

   Soap was taken aback “You want us to engage the fucking Mexican Army?!” He had stepped close enough to Badger that he grabbed him and pulled him down so that he wasn't standing dumbly in front of the large windows and nearly growled at him. 

   “Didn't you hear a single thing he said in the truck Soap? That not the fuckin army thats the cartel payroll.” He roughly pushed him back as he let go and went back to leveling off the trucks in his scope. Soap flushed red, and a dumb ‘oh’ dropped from his lips before he managed to remember himself and join them in targeting the caravan. 

   “Hold your fire, we dig in until my men are clear”

   “Multiple vehicles, troops transport, light armor” Ghost calls out 

   “Hold fire, let them get close” 

   One of the trucks launched a large smoke canister, blocking them from seeing when and where the caravan stopped, but they saw troops emerge from the smoke with shields and take aim at the house. They have mere seconds to turn away from the windows before they're rained upon by glass shards as the windows are shot out above them. Alejandro called for weapons free. 

   The room thundered with fire, and it made moving for any extra cover nearly impossible. The few shots he was able to get in after getting up from his low crouch seemed to do nothing.

“They’re Armoured,” Soap shouted in annoyance. 

   “Target the helmets, they're weak” 

   “They’re using shields” Ghost shouted over the clamour as a well, it was clear that they were doing little to minimize the amount of combatants against them, the simply had to pull the fire away from Rodolfos squad and hope they could last long enough. Badger watched as shards of wood ripped away from the walls from the incoming fire, and cursed. It was quite a bind. They started falling back from the windows and just sought cover. 

   “Commander, we're clear!”  oh thank the light, they can start moving from this deathtrap.

   “copy ! rally at the safehouse!” Alejandro orders before turning to them “lets get the hell out of here!” He popped up from his spot in the corner and made for a shuttered window, tossed it open and hoped down and slid off the roof onto the ground and took off like a bat out of hell to a path that led down the ridge. Rodriguez followed with the same grace, then Soap. Badger rather fell from the window than slid but still took off the same as Ghost  reached the ground and followed. 

“Down the hill! We’ll lose them in the mountains!” Alejandro shouted over his shoulder as they raced to catch up with him. “Fan out and stay close” 

   It was like everyone just had the ability to melt into the forest with how quick he seemed to lose everyone and he hoped that he didn't get lost. Shots fired down from above tossing up small handfuls of dirt as high velocity rounds stuck the earth by their feet rather than them. 

   The army had caught up. They jumped off a steep boulder and rolled behind cover, turned and returned the fire. Rodriguez went down with a shout. He was nearby. Badger looked around and saw him face down a few paces away, He ran over to him and looked him over.

   “You're fine, let's get you up boyo” Badger pulled him up against the boulder they now shared as the rest of the team was trying to clear the army. Rodriguez groaned in protest of moving. “It hit your back plate, it'll bruise” Rodriguez nodded and tried to calm his breathing for a moment. The firing came to a sudden stop and they were hauling ass again, Badger tried to stay with Rodriguez to give him extra cover, he was slowly lagging behind. 

   “You know these trails?” Soap called out to Alejandro as he took the lead,

   “Very well, but do does the army” 

   “Cant hold off the Army. We need extraction” 

   “Rodriguez! Call for extraction!” Alejandro ordered, they stayed closer this time as they dropped down the hillside, more than once Badger crashed down off rock faces compared to the grace and Alejandro and Ghost demonstrated.

   “Contact!” 

   Fire rained from above again as they tried to find over, Badger pulled them behind a larger rock again and took up fire as Rodriguez crouched low, tucking himself into the cover between Badger and the rock, fiddling with his coms trying desperately to reach Rodolfo.

   “Control, victor 1 request immediate extraction at Soul River Bridge, How to copy?”  he was shouting into the comms. 

   The fire stopped again and badger pulled him up and kept him in front of him as they ran again down the hill, he continued to shout into the comms with no response

   “Rodriguez where are we with comms?” 

   “Mountains blocking out comms!” Rodriguez called back.

   “Your man got the call out?” Ghost questioned as they slid down a slope a bit further

   “Let's hope so” Alejandro laughed a little, 

   “What's the plan then?” Soap jumped down a boulder next to where Badger and Rodriguez were moving and he joined them. 

   “There is a bridge at the river. Extraction will be there.” Alejandro explained to them as he looked for a specific path to lead them down. 

   They reached a steep drop, Badger threw himself down it and rolled out of his fall in front of a tree when it exploded with an RPG. the force of it shattered the tree throwing shards of wood back at Badger, a shard struck him before he could cover. He was bleeding from the hairline, with a curse he stood back up and continued forward wiping roughly at his forehead.

   “Anyone hit?” Alejandro called out from cover as he was firing up the ridgeline, everyone called out a negative from where they stood firing hoping desperately that the onslaught of men would end.  Eventually it did.

   They seemed to be running out of places to run as the clift side seemed to come nearer, Alejandro stopped abruptly at the edge and looked back towards them,

   “We have to jump here”  Soap reached the ledge and looked over it down to something unseen by Badger.

   “Can we even make that?” Badger paled slightly at the comment of the unseen ledge and looked over to Soap and then back to Alejandro 

   “Are you serious?” It took a lot to keep the nervousness from his voice, it was one thing to jump from a plane and another to jump from good solid ground. If a parachute failed when jumping it was just a rush that ended quickly, who knows if he misses if the fall will kill him. 

   “Do or Die hermano” Alejandro tossed over his shoulder as he jumped, Badger made it up to the ledge to watch him fall down and slide across a very far and very thin outcropping from the clift, and watch him pop up and jump to an even further outcropping that rounded around the cliff face. 

   Soap followed bravely and executed flawlessly, Rodrigues followed with the confidence of someone who's done it a million times. Badger steeled himself and took a step back to give himself momentum for when he jumped down,

   He hit solidly and slid down the rough ground of the slope, and just barely managed to get his feet back under him for the second platform, of which he rolled onto and slapped softly into the stone wall. He heard Soap make a small sound of surprise when the other two on the platform let out a small snicker at his less than graceful execution.

   Ghost perusal just seemed to appear silently and unbothered as he crouched down, weapon in and and scanned the tree lines for snipers.

   “Where to, Alejandro?” Soap asked from his watch position. 

   “Soap push forwards, Rodriguez keep trying on the comms, the rest of you watch for snipers” Badger settled down in front of Rodriguez’s position and turned outwards towards the tree line mirroring Ghost who was a few paces away from him. “Soap, use that ledge there will be a way up the mountain”

   Soap disappeared out of sight with a grunt as he presumably jumped to whatever ledge that Alejandro pointed out. Badger could hear Rodriguez speaking into the comms again as he and Ghost looked for the tell tale gleam of a scope or barrel in the sunlight. 

   “Got anything?” Badger questioned over to Ghost who just grunted a negative in response. 

   “They’re out there,  believe me” 

   “control , this is victor-1, do you read me?”  Rodriguez sounded desperate as he looked back up to where he knew the Army was, the action made him look incredibly young and it struck something in Badger. He's quickly distracted though as Soap calls that he's found a way up the mountain, as they are just finishing getting up the steep cliff face Ghost spots a Helicopter with a curse. 

   “Get to a firing position. We’ll take them by surprise” Alejandro confirms the heli sighting and helps direct them back into cover.

   “Which way is the bridge?” Ghost asks as he pulls himself up last from the final ledge, following them closely. 

   “Straight ahead. Past the helo” he paused a moment in thought “they'll try to cut us off” 

   “Grand” the sarcastic excitement sounded wrong coming from Badger “then I guess we’re goin through them” 

   It was almost like he called for them to appear with how fast the Army dropped down from an up ahead ridge and immediately took to firing upon them. But they made it easy for them to return fire. The sun was to their advantage, casting their hiding spots into deep shadows and lit the ridge and boulders they took to walking on in bright golden light that simply begged for them to shoot the brains out of anyone who stepped too far forwards.

   The inched their way up in the shadows creeping closer and closer to the remaining army troops that had been smart enough to attempt to find cover, even if it wasn't successful. Ghost shot the last man on the ridge and called clear. It was a right mess on the boulders that they had to climb to get to the bridge.

   They pushed up the hill and Alejandro called out that the bridge wasn't too far; they entered the top of the hill. It was gorgeous up there, and had they not been running for their lives from the Mexican Army Badger would have stopped to just absorb the landscape. It was towering mountains and the sun hit just right to light up a thin waterfall that casted a shimmer around it. 

   Alejandro warned them about hidden shooters.  

   “There's the bridge”

   “No visual on extraction”  a curse ripped from Rodriguez that Badger didn't know but knew it as colorful from the bits he understood, he watched him take a calming breath though turn towards Ghost.

   “Comms didn't get through” Badger clasped him on the shoulders and gave him what he hoped was a comforting look. 

   “We’ll radio when we get down there” Alejandro waved them forwards and dropped an extremely steep drop off, and while Alejandro took it with grace even Soap had tripped up his landing and Badger downright slammed into the ground yet again. They took off down even more narrow outcroppings than last time, Alejandro taking the lead with Soap following, Badger kept Rodriguez in front of him and per usual Ghost took up rear guard. 

   They were quite literally shuffling along and outcropping no wider than a boot, when shots started above their heads. Bits of rock broke off from the walls from missed shots

   "Sniper! Move!” Ghost shouted as they all tried to go as fast as they could without slipping off the cliff, they had almost made it to a larger outcropping when another round of shots fired. 

   A shot ripped through Rodriguez's thigh, and he shouted and tipped forwards reaching out behind him, Badger surged forwards to try to grab him, but he slipped as another shot just barely missed him. Just for a moment he had Rodriguez in his grip before he fell too far forwards tumbling into the valley. 

   “Rodriguez!”  Alejandro shouted mournfully, and Badger was gasping as he was pulled further back onto the narrow outcropping, a hand laced into his vest at his shoulder. Ghost hurried him forwards keeping a tight grip on his vest. 

   Badger didn't hear the return fire from Alejandro but he nearly felt the rumble of Ghost's voice as he praised “Bloody good shot, mate!” 

   They all looked upwards as they heard the Army catching up to them again, their orders to follow them down the cliff side sent dread through Badger.

   “Army's still on our trail” Soap urged them to move, Alejandro looked down the cliff side remorsefully before steeling himself and then turned to take the lead again. Ghost let go of Badger as they looked off again.

   They slid to a stop at the end of an outcropping a bit further down the cliff face, it was a deadend. 

   “You led us to a deadend mate,” Ghost complained, looking pointedly at Alejandro. 

   “We jump from here, don't lose your weapon” Alejandro basically gave the last order while in the air, there was absolutely no hesitation before jumped off the clift, it was a solid moment before he splashed into the water. Badger took a nervous gulp. 

   Soap brave as ever followed quickly with a little whoop of excitement, he too splashed safely into the water. 

   Badger stepped forwards and hesitated a moment before looking backwards towards the ridge that he knew soon would be full of soldiers shooting down at them again. His eyes flicked to Ghost who surprisingly didn't roll them or slide off his gaze.

   “Your turn sergeant” it was missing the usual roughness that typically accompanied Ghost. Badger swallowed again before nodding and turning forwards again, pointedly avoiding looking down. 

   “Fucking hell” He jumped. And he damn near forgot to hold his breath until moments before he crashed into the water. Vaguely he thinks he hears ghost land in the water shortly after him. 

   When Badger resurfaces he tries his best to minimize the gasping he is doing, he barely manages to call back that he's okay when Alejandro asks. 

   “Move down river to the bridge, use the rocks for cover” they start down the river drifting from rock to rock and mostly travel under the water in an attempt to remain hidden from the banks. Alejandro attempted to reach Rodolfo on the comms. “All stations, this is victor-1 how to copy?” 

   Finally a voice crackled over the radio in response to them.

   “dow-1! Do you- say again,-o you’tre---?” It was an American voice. 

   “Radio is picking  up something! Soap sounded elated and looked back excitedly to Badger and Ghost. His smile dropped a little when he looked at Badger, eyes flicking towards his forehead. 

   Ghost made a sound of approval “sounds American” he commented and was promptly cut off again by enemy fire.

   Badger couldn't say he had the most experience fighting in water and had to admit it was adversely affecting his ability to be effective in combat. He swam to a rock that was jutting out of the water and clung to it to steady his hand on his weapon, that miraculously wasn't lost when he crashed into the water, and fired upon the right bank noting that more trucks were rolling in behind the current line of soldiers. 

   “Vehicles on the bridge” Badger called out and continued to swim up river as the bank was cleared,

   “They're not ours” another curse spilled from Soap's lips as he checked his ammunition, they're all low. 

   The river shallows out the closer they get to the bridge and thankfully more boulders were available for cover as they rose from the water.

   “We have to hold here and get extraction” Alejandro started firing upon the vehicles on the bridge, it was doing alarmingly little. 

   “We can't do shite against that armor!” Soap complains as he continues to fire upon the vehicles trying to target helmets again, when the voice that crackled through before returned

   “This is Shadow-1! Engaging the bridge north of your position. Danger close!”

   “Who the hell is that?” Alejandro shouted the question over his shoulder as he continued his fire.

   “Commander Graves, Shadow company, they're with us” Ghost responded as they all took the welcomed reprieve that was watching the Army be blown to bits and at the bridge collapsing with them on it. Ghost jumped onto the comms to confirm the hit with Graves, “Shadow-1, Bravo 0-7! Good shots! Fire for effect!” 

   “All stations, no enemy movement detected. You're clear” Badger let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, “Good to see you boys''

   “Likewise, mate,” Ghost replied and motioned for them to follow Alejandro to the left bank of the river and onto dry land and towards the bridge. Thankfully there was one ruck left behind. “Graves, we located a vehicle for exfil”

   “Roger that. Be advised, we got a possible hit on Hassan, two clicks north of your position”

   “That's cartel land, they have a compound there”    They reached the truck and dumped some of their wet gear into the bed of the truck, Alejandro hopped into the driver's seat and Ghost filed into the front passenger, 

   “You boys, good to roll up Hassan with some fire from the sky?” 

   “Lets wrap this fucker up, Graves” Soap sounded full of confidence for someone whos missed Hassan twice and was chased down a mountain, Badger couldn't say that he shared the confidence,

   “Solid copy. We are pushing to the target directly. Shadow-1 out” 

   Badger pushed himself firmly into the back seat and closed his eyes,  trying to ground himself and take account of his body. He was tired from the mad dash down the cliff and his forehead was starting to really hurt as the adrenaline started slipping from him on the drive,

   He felt Soap lean closer to him and he turned his head rather roughly to give him a mild glare, really not feeling up to his shenanigans at the moment. He was surprised to see that he had gauze in hand and a small first aid kit sitting between them, he looked startled at Badger not expecting the hostility. Badger looked at him confused before Soap gestured to his forehead, and Badger remembered the tree exploding, and reached his hand to the cut on his forehead, fingers coming away red. What he thought was water dripping from his hair was actually mixed with blood and covered a good portion of his face. He must have looked deadly if the worried look he caught from Soap was anything to go off of.

   He looked down at Soap sheepishly and let him take his head in his hands, Soap dabbed at his face carefully, occasionally gripping his chin and moving him about so that he could reach everywhere. Badger felt his face heat up and closed his eyes to avoid looking at Soap as he worked, who had drawn his lip between his teeth unconsciously. 

   It wasn't long until he cleaned up his face, applied a small amount of antiseptic, he cooed at Badger when he had flinched not expecting the sting, and applied small wound closure strips to the gash across his forehead.  

   Badger thanked him quietly when his hands left his face, and he leaned back into his seat. He looked into the rearview mirror and caught Ghost staring back at him. He flushed again and closed his eyes trying to catch the little bit of rest before they were tossed back into the frying pan. 

   He tried not to dwell on the feeling of warm hands now absent on his face. 

First Next Last Masterlist AO3

Thank you so much for reading! Please consider leaving a comment also i take suggestions for one shot and drabbles

[roleplayfinder]

Looking for some fandom rps!

-The Hunger Games

Coriolanus Snow/Lucy Gray Baird

I’d like the opportunity to write as Lucy Gray since I’ve written as Coriolanus a few times already but I’m not picky. This is the fandom I'm most interested in atm. I've kinda been seeing that apparently the fandom vibes a little more with submissive Coryo than I thought people would? I'd really like to play that out in an organic of a way and as canon as possible with the characters. 

I could also be persuaded to write Katniss/Peeta, but right now I’m just kind of obsessed with Coriolanus/Lucy Gray, I’m not gunna lie.

-South Park

Eric Cartman/Kyle Broflovski

-The Righteous Gemstones

Jesse/Amber 

I know this is a weird one, and a stretch haha. But I’d really like to play around in this universe, and I’d like to find someone who not only wants to play either of the characters above but ALSO some of the other characters. Not necessarily doubling so much as just having a little bit of an ensemble cast rp experience. I’d be open to having a small group of people as well.


-Midsommar

Dani Ardor/??

I’m not sure what I’d want to do with this. I like the idea of playing out a dark Dani/Pelle plot. I’m just really interested in writing for Dani.

-Buffy

Spike/Buffy

I could play either

Other fandoms I might be interested in

Death Note

Chobits

Twilight

Sailor Moon

X/Pearl/Maxxxine

House of Leaves (novel by Mark Z Danielewski)

Hi! My name is Jane and I’ve been rping for a loooong time now. I am 20+ so no minors and I'd prefer someone with a couple of years experience. 3rd person, past tense.

I write anywhere between one paragraph and multiple discord messages worth of paragraphs, it really all depends. I like to plot out a lot and talk about our various headcanons for that particular rp, send playlists, all that stuff. Being friends outside of the fandom discussion would be nice but not required.

*NSFW is welcome, and I could be convinced to do something that sort of skews towards kink being a large portion, but it genuinely has to be well written and mean something to the characters, the plot. Nothing with bodily fluids, feet, etc.

*my only real trigger is animal abuse. I cannot handle it.

*sex or gender of rp partner isnt important to me as long as no one is being a self-insert creep.

Please only like or comment if you are genuinely interested in plotting then moving forward as I've had a lot of people show interest and just say "I'm interested!" and not respond much after. I totally understand being busy but I do view rping as somewhat of a commitment and I'd love to find a partner who feels the same way in addition to being excited. And as a heads up if you've already ghosted me during the plotting process or whatever, my guess is just to keep someone on the backburner, I won't message you. So whether you're worried about connecting with someone you don't want to or whatever, don't. I'm not trying to talk to anyone who's not interested in talking with me :)

I'm available pretty often and the better the rp is going, the more time I will make for it, honestly.

Thanks for reading!

.

[twinkleember]

My Homie challenged me with this.

Character: Number 96, Dark Mist, Black Mist, Anger issues ghost.

Character ask game!

A classic character ask game lol, but with a little deeper digging into them

Send a character and a number/several numbers, and i'll answer:

My first impression of them Honestly? I saw him as a facebook icon from my homie and thought he was super weird.

When I think I truly started to like them Until I got to see clips of his personality. Now I smother myself in Mist content.

A song that reminds me of them Solence - Heaven

How many people I ship them with I have two AU's for him. so....two.

My favorite ship of them Dats a secret.

My least favorite ship of them Tentacle/Lock ship - Just personal preference. I don't hate it. I just find it odd.

A quote of them that you remember "Sentimental mumbo-jumbo" "Because I can."

Your favorite outfit of them er.....he's naked? but I do like the human clothing I gave him haha.

Your least favorite outfit of them again. he be naked.

Describe the character in one sentence Impulsive, quick to anger, loveable douchebag.

What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character? The character I ship with him. and his dub voice. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Sexuality hc! Normally? very gay. but depending on the AU. Prolly Pan.

Your favorite friendship they have I wouldn't say friendship. If we go by AU. its more acquaintance? but if we go by canon. Joining Astral and yuma as an 'ally' in that one duel. He's a fussy potato :/

Best storyline they had Any time he was visible in the show. gimme more screen time you lovable douche!

Worst storyline they had We dun talk about this stupid Puppet.

A childhood headcanon When he was a wee ink bloob. nah seriously. He didn't have one lol.

What do you think their first word was? "it means, when you dropped your key I was able to escape." aww babies first words of potential malice!

How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc) Aggressive chaos bloob noises.

The most random ship you've seen people have with them Vector and Mist? I dunno. I don't see many other ships around with him specifically with canon characters.

A weird headcanon When Mist is all soft and caring...for some reason.

When do you think they were at their happiest? When he took steroids/Chaos/Barian power form.

When do you think they were at their lowest? I guess when he got so salty/mad at Astral in the temple duel. Not gunna lie, it made me chuckle.

Future headcanon No puppet allowed! if he yeeted himself to get to Astral. There would be an alternative to restore him and have him be a further pain in the ass.

What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone? Swiggity swooty, Comin for that Astral booty~

When do you think they acted the most ooc I don't recall he ever did? I would beat him with a rolled up newspaper if he did. Get back to being evil!

When do you think they were being "themselves" the most? every time his ass appeared on screen?

If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet? I'm going video game. Diablo from Diablo 3. They both want power and destruction and both look fabulous.

The most unnecessary thing they ever did? When he possessed the major. like. I understand you were screwing with humans, but I don't think you can get very far my dude xD

How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?) I aint touching this with a ten foot pole.

The funniest scene they had?

not so much scene. More like how he can be such a salty sandra and get super mad when things don't go his way.

Source: https://www.tumblr.com/ask-games-from-a-weird-girl/673569359300640768/character-ask-game

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

U will NEVER guess which ship I'm gunna send u for the ship ask game

(It's Wainlock. Free pass to ramble about Wainlock!)

They were the thing that got me into this fandom proper, I am not going to lie. Ergo, the time I started shipping them - around Feburary and March 2020 - is the time I consider my Borderlands era to have started.

To say my thoughts on them here would be redundant, and take me ages. Just look at the rest of my blog, and you'll see.

Everything, and I find new things to love in them almost every single day. There is just so much. The domesticity, the dynamics, the passion and devotion, the symbolism, good lird the symbolism. They are everything 2 me

I mean. I'm not sure? Of course they've gone through sad things in canon but like... I'm not sure if this is what the question was asking. Conceptually, they are perfect

I'm the writer of over one third of all Wainlock fanfic and artist of Gythian knows how much of all Wainlock fanart, so really when I engage with other people's content... well, beggars can't be choosers. My main issue is that they're not being included in fic enough, even in cases where they logically should be present - or, if they are, they are 5 second cameos. That being said there was this fic I read I think like a day or two ago that mentioned them yelling at eachother, and like... huh? They can communicate very well with eachother, I do not think it would ever come to that unless it was a terrible situation. It was OOC. Also I cannot stand either of them being cisgender

As I said above, beggars can't be choosers. There are things in Wainlock fanfic I adore of course, but, y'know.

Absolutely fucking no one else, nuh uh, never in my life ever, nope, nein, nada, no, nie. I specifically avoid content that ships either of them with someone else (unless it's explicitly an ex, or it's past/bl2/tps era hammertorgue bc it fits my silly little hc) because frankly it makes me uncomfortable atp.

I would say the JFV endgame but tbh the JFV endgame is more... confusing than a happily ever after, and maybe a bit too esoteric. JFV proper is a good enough estimate, I think, but of course that story is still evolving. Canon-wise, I'd love for them to adopt a few kids and live out their golden years in joy as they deserve. Also Wainwright can and should become a class traitor, it is the most logical and coolest way for his arc to conclude and in this essay I w

Wainwright is the big spoon, out of necessity. Alistair simply does not have the necessary limbs to be the big spoon, and what limbs he has aren't really well suited for long cuddles.

Reading together (sometimes in a parallel play fashion, sometimes one of them reads out loud to the other), deep and profound discussions (preferably late at night, or over tea and cookies, or while sharing a good cigar), non-sexual but still physical intimacy like cuddles or helping with dressing up/hygiene (they CANNOT keep their hands to eachother and if it was not for their somewhat PDA-averse reserved gentleman nature the Vault Hunters would be finding them bundled up in one armchair in a different position every time they'd return to Knotty Peak).

[zazter-den]

You know why I’m here, I’m gunna shove more GlowTape rot in everyone’s faces 😂 Good luck guessing!

1. At the start of our relationship, Hanta was actually the one to start a lot of the smaller, pettier arguments. He wasn’t really good at being open to talking things out at first.

2. Hanta and I have little tattoos that remind us of each other.

3. When it comes to traveling around town, Hanta is usually the driver and I’m his passenger princess ☺️

Pfft, like I'm not enjoy more GlowTape lore (is it just me or does GlowTape sound like a nice type of washi tape?) I'm actually torn between 1 and 3, but I'm gonna say #3 is the lie? 1. I thought this might be the lie, because I remember you saying that he was a real big flirt when you first met and I can see a few small arguments if you felt he was being an insincere ass at the time. But I could also see this as true if he got frustrated you weren't taking him seriously.

2. That just sounds right. I bet he gets a ditto tattoo somewhere just to watch your face light up.

3. Sero does a lot of traveling during his patrol and prefers at-home dates with you...so I think he's the passenger princess. Since you like hiking and going out- I see you as the one behind the wheel with your window down, and Sero likes to be in charge of the radio keeping the beats coming.

[jacqcrisis]

Since it's my birthday could I possibly request a silly rambling about Caleb having to cancel dinner with his mom and not tell her it's because he's at the hospital. Again.

Yes! But mostly because I've had an idea I'd probably never write in my drafts that would prelude this. Gunna put most of it under a readmore as it's long and a little saucy.

Caleb's got a busy day ahead of him, with lunch with his ma and an evening shift after that so, in order to get a workout in, he decides to go to the gym first thing when he wakes up. Thing is, when he gets there, the showers are closed due to maintenance. That's not great, but he supposes he'll cut the workout short and run back home to wash up before lunch.

Not that he wants to go to lunch. His ma is probably going to have pamphlets and numbers for matchmakers and single women his age she knows. It's going to be an hour or two of guilt-tripping and pressure that he doesn't really want right now, but it's better to go than her try to show up at an apartment he doesn't live at anymore, so he best be on time.

Well, after his workout, a new problem arises when he gets back to the apartment. One he thought would still be sleeping considering its like...half past noon, so himbos don't expect to be ambushed as they put their keys on the table and their bag on the floor. Caleb squawks as a shockingly awake and already rumbling Zeke wraps his arms around him from behind.

He's got his toothy face jammed into Caleb's neck and his hands already under his clothes as Caleb's brain finally works out what's happening. Caleb puts up a mild protest, mostly telling Zeke to wait or at least, follow him into the shower, while not really putting much effort in trying to get hands out of his gym shorts or a mouth from sucking hickeys into his throat. Zeke's not having it, and Caleb's lukewarm attempts to wriggle free are nowhere to be seen when he's picked up and becomes intimately familiar with the wall against his back.

Not that Caleb would stop Zeke at this point as he's been trying to get the changeling to let loose a little and just go to town on him. Who knew all it would take was a workout and a missed shower to have Zeke manhandling him and trying to eat him like a peach? All thought of lunches later in the afternoon are absolutely out the window as are any worry about what a keyed up, aggressive Zeke might do when he moves their operation to the bedroom by carrying Caleb there.

Obviously, Zeke ends up gnawing the shit out his shoulder again, shocking literally no one. And it's bad enough that Caleb can't risk not going to the ER...again so when Zeke stops gagging, they clean up a little so they don't walk in looking too much like a crime scene. During that, as Zeke is assessing the damage frantically, Caleb's phone goes off with his ma on the other end doubling checking the resturant choice for today.

Caleb fumbles his way through a lie about how he can't go to lunch, he's really sorry, but he's...sick? His ma tells him that she's going to be in town anyways and she has some things to give him so she'll just stop by his place and- Caleb scrambles to cut her off, tells her they can reschedule or something, like it's fine, don't drop by, he's like super duper gross right now.

There's some back and forth, again while Zeke is wiping blood and drool and semen off him, where Caleb comes out on top by saying how she, his mother, would prefer to go through whatever she has for him in person. She irrately agrees, and she ends the call by telling him that he sounds a lot like his father. Caleb kind of shrugs it off but Zeke immediately starts apologizing again since he not only ruined lunch but Caleb will probably have to call off work tonight as well.

Caleb stops him, surprisingly happy with this outcome and assuring Zeke for the millionth time he's exactly the opposite of mad and he wishes Zeke was like that more just without the hospital part after. They go to the ER, and that sucks but it's a better time than lunch with his ma and Caleb gets a night off to play Call of Duty. Zeke also coddles him when he get off work later so it's wins all around for Caleb.

[roleplay-today]

Looking for the following fandom rps!

-The Hunger Games

Coriolanus Snow/Lucy Gray Baird

I’d like the opportunity to write as Lucy Gray since I’ve written as Coriolanus a few times already but I’m not picky. This is the fandom I'm most interested in atm. I've kinda been seeing that apparently the fandom vibes a little more with submissive Coryo than I thought people would? I'd really like to play that out in an organic of a way and as canon as possible with the characters. 

I could also be persuaded to write Katniss/Peeta, but right now I’m just kind of obsessed with Coriolanus/Lucy Gray, I’m not gunna lie.

-South Park

Eric Cartman/Kyle Broflovski

-The Righteous Gemstones

Jesse/Amber 

I know this is a weird one, and a stretch haha. But I’d really like to play around in this universe, and I’d like to find someone who not only wants to play either of the characters above but ALSO some of the other characters. Not necessarily doubling so much as just having a little bit of an ensemble cast rp experience. I’d be open to having a small group of people as well.


-Midsommar

Dani Ardor/??

I’m not sure what I’d want to do with this. I like the idea of playing out a dark Dani/Pelle plot. I’m just really interested in writing for Dani.

-Buffy

Spike/Buffy

I could play either

Other fandoms I might be interested in

Death Note

Chobits

Twilight

Sailor Moon

X/Pearl/Maxxxine

House of Leaves (novel by Mark Z Danielewski)

Hi! My name is Jane and I’ve been rping for a loooong time now. I am 20+ so no minors and I'd prefer someone with a couple of years experience. 3rd person, past tense.

I write anywhere between one paragraph and multiple discord messages worth of paragraphs, it really all depends. I like to plot out a lot and talk about our various headcanons for that particular rp, send playlists, all that stuff. Being friends outside of the fandom discussion would be nice but not required.

*NSFW is welcome, and I could be convinced to do something that sort of skews towards kink being a large portion, but it genuinely has to be well written and mean something to the characters, the plot. Nothing with bodily fluids, feet, etc.

*my only real trigger is animal abuse. I cannot handle it.

*sex or gender of rp partner isnt important to me as long as no one is being a self-insert creep.

Please only like or comment if you are genuinely interested in plotting then moving forward as I've had a lot of people show interest and just say "I'm interested!" and not respond much after. I totally understand being busy but I do view rping as somewhat of a commitment and I'd love to find a partner who feels the same way in addition to being excited. And as a heads up if you've already ghosted me during the plotting process or whatever, my guess is just to keep someone on the backburner, I won't message you. So whether you're worried about connecting with someone you don't want to or whatever, don't. I'm not trying to talk to anyone who's not interested in talking with me :)

I'm available pretty often and the better the rp is going, the more time I will make for it, honestly.

Thanks for reading!

[adventures-written]

👣✍️⚠️

Another Munday Prompt

👣 How many OCs do you have? Which one is your favorite and why?

Sir, I'm feeling attacked right now........

Heh, so...My list of OC's is expansive? It would be hard to count them all. Pretty much any little dude I make, whether it's for a DnD campaign or just a silly goof is up there in my head. You don't wanna go in there, trust me.

Picking one favorite is hard if I'm honest so I'll do my top 3;

Axel Darren - He is a soft hearted person who will fight to protect his friends. He was experimented on by his parents at a young age and has a sort of 'shield' for skin, so he's hard to hurt outwardly, but he still has squishy insides. Why is he a fave? Probably because he's one of the most prominent muses I RP with my partner. He's also just generally my soft little guy who is too kind for his own good. He genuinely wants to believe the world is good despite everything.

Bastian Wright - OK, this dude was a JOKE. I was playing around with Sims 4 one day like 6 yrs ago and made a freckled red head human who I stuck in a house full of vampires....And then the idea sparked from there? He's a goofball who loves cryptic things. Avid ghost hunter and a kind soul. He gets himself into a lot of trouble on his own. Something bad always tends to happen. Whether he dies or gets blinded or any number of things... Why is he a fave? Because he's a goofball, and it also gives me as the writer a way to express my own love for cryptic things. They're genuinely fun. This boy is precious.

Malik Rashad - Honestly? Not gunna lie, this guy was purely created to be a grumpy person in the Borderlands verse so I could poke a friend and their OCs. And then he became more. He's a grumpy sword wielder with insomnia and a cigarette addiction. Why is he a fave? Because, at the end of the day, he has a tragic back story and he does bad things, but he tries to still be a good person. He's fun to play and just generally poke and be a shit with people.

(Some honorable mentions are; Fiadh Madagan, Oryan Stalite, Ronan Donovan, Rayne Viktas, and countless more...)

✍️  Do you prefer discord, tumblr, google docs, or in-game RP? What makes it (or them) your preference?

Discord and Tumblr are my go tos, but sometimes I really don't have the energy for Tumblr. Tumblr is a lot of work and dedication. I love it, but it can also play on my brain sometimes. Discord I find to be easier to handle when I'm having a bad funk brain day. Mostly because I can hide there with friends.

Aaaannnd making RP servers is kinda fun...plotting all the things.

Discord is available to mutuals if we've interacted a bit.

⚠️ Are you cautious about who you RP with or do you just dive right in and see where it takes you?

Depends on the person. Some are easier than others. In depth answer here.

[sleepyswampking]

8!

Anon I’m not going to lie I made the mistake of reblogging two ask prompt things in quick succession of each other so now I don’t know if you are asking for the music one or the weirdly specific and unrelated asks one so I’m just gunna do both

do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home?

Not always but I prefer to be dressed comfy as possible when I’m at home so I usually change into sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt when I get home

is from an artist i’ve listened to for a while

Put Your Hand Inside The Puppet Head by They Might Be Giants. One of my favorite songs by them and I’ve been listening to their music since I was a kid