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#Not really Innocent
aropride · 1 year
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REBLOG if you think they FUCKED RAW !!!!!
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nerdpoe · 6 months
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There's a level of Hell that Constantine loves and hates in equal measure.
The Level of Lust and Debauchery.
He loves it for what it is, but he also really, really hates it. The beings in it are unhinged at best, completely insane at worst. Stronger than Demons, but weaker than Gods-it's always more stressful than fun dealing with them.
So needing to summon the King of that level is...well. John can already feel the exhaustion.
But instead of exhaustion, he feel rage. Disgust.
The King that shimmers into existence is a fucking child.
And John honestly loses some time after that.
He comes back from ranting with the tiny King forcefully yanking him to a stop.
"Wait, you thought the Infinite Realms were what?"
Turns out, that wasn't the Level of Lust and Debauchery at all. Turns out, the Infinite Realms has a Red Light District.
Turns out, that is a very, very small part of the Infinite Realms, and this tiny child King had no idea it was there, and now he has to explain what a Red Light District is to an increasingly mortified Royal Teenager.
All around, it's not a fun time for anyone present.
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black-lone-knight · 1 year
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It's been two days since Dick’s arrival at the Wayne Manor. Currently Dick is holding a magazine with a picture of him and Bruce on its cover.
Dick: What's a DILF?
Bruce, chocks on his tea: What?!
Dick, shows the cover: Here, it says you're a DILF.
Bruce: Ah, it means...
Bruce: ...
Bruce: a Dad who Is Loving and Fantastic.
...
Months later.
Superman: Batman has told me a lot about you.
Dick as Robin, enthusiastic: He has?
Superman: Yes, your Dad loves you so much.
Robin: Holy hotdogs! He's a real DILF.
Superman:
Superman:
Superman: Oh yeah... He certainly is.
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charlietheepicwriter7 · 7 months
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Danny and Damien are twins au, but a slightly redeemed vlad makes Danny the CEO of Vlad Co and DALV and all his other shell companies. Danny is danny, he got pushed into this against his will and is very overwhelmed by CEO duties, so he reaches out to one of his father's sons, Timothy Drake-Wayne, for advice
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So, danny definitely knows his heritage in this au. He was the spare to Damien's heir, and while their relationship was strained by the constant competition, they still love each other, even when Danny started to show more proficiency in infiltration and subterfuge than assassination. Damien and Danny have a huge fight before Danny leaves, with Damien swearing to never forgive Danny for his betrayal, while Danny is like "what betrayal??? I just cant bring myself to kill someone outside of self-defense??"
(One of the things I hate about Danny and Damien Twin AUs is this depiction that, just because (usually) Danny is unwilling to kill, that makes him weak and a traitor. You think the medical staff in the LoA are assassinating people? Or the lawyers? He's not useless, he's just not good as an assassin)
He was sent to the Fentons at like... seven? eight? to study how the Fentons are purifying lazurus waters from Jack and Maddie, both of whom are partly sponsored by the League of Assassins. He's also learning more about spying from Jack, surprisingly, because no one would expect him of being a top tier spy. He has the occasional mission as a child, but it's mostly shadowing Jack to learn how to spy.
Danny sends letters to both Talia and Damien regarding updates on his training and the Fenton's research, but after a year of no reply from Damien, it's only to Talia. He's feels super hurt by this, and abandoned by the LoA, but the Fentons are kind and familial, and Talia visits once a year. She's unwilling to risk visiting more often, lest she risk getting the JL or the Spiders attention, but sometimes she even manages to visit on his birthday!
(Meanwhile, Talia starts sending birthday assassins to kill Damien so she can spend their birthday with Danyal. She's a really hot and cold mom.
Talia: You can choose me, and have a birthday dinner. Or you can choose your father and have a birthday assassin. You're choice. )
When Slade blows up the LoA, Danyal is given permanent orders to remain as Daniel Fenton until Talia, and only Talia, brings him back to the League. No missions and only one letter every six months. But when Ra's comes back to life and the League is back in power, Talia... never tells Danyal. Because she's seen how happy Damien is being a normal child with their father and wants that for Danyal too. Plus, she wants to continue to have a good relationship one of her children, sue her bruce.
So Danny is completely convinced that the League is mostly gone other than his mother, her zealots, and knows that his brother is living with their father. and he's... relieved. His brother is safe, and his mom told him their grandfather was avenged, so Danny can just enjoy his life. Which he does.
He sends out his six month report days before the portal accident.
Canon stuff happens until Danny is sixteen and Vlad, the fruitloop, steps down as CEO and strong-arms Danny into becoming CEO in his place. Jack and Maddie (who at this point know [or have always known in Jack's case, adn Danny didn't appreciate his dad using his his poker face against him like that] about Phantom) are thrilled.
Vlad is using his "foster son" (Dark Danny, but in this idea, he's Dante Masters) as an excuse as to why he's stepping down, since Dante needs all the attention he can give as a "troubled youth". Danny secretly hopes Dante kills Vlad in his sleep, but signs the papers away.
And there's so much work.
Danny has some idea of what he's doing (Vlad co is a tech company and DALV is weapons manufacturing, plus vlad gave him a crash course on CEOing). Sam and Tuck even help! But he wishes there was someone who could understand the pain of being a CEO while still a teen. But... his father's son, his brother, is one such person. And even though the other would never know, he really wanted to get to know his other siblings. So Danny reaches out for advice to Timothy Drake-Wayne.
Tim is immediately on guard when this Damien clone walks into his office claiming to be the new Vlad Co CEO. The clone acts nothing like Damien, but he still thinks this Danny Fenton is a league plant.
His paranoia doubles when Damien freaks out and confesses that A) Danny is apparently his twin brother and B) that he's been with the League of Assassins this whole time. Damien, who really doesn't want to admit that the reason he forced himself to forget his brother was because said brother didn't want to kill people, says "Tch. I didn't want to associate with the likes of him, so I put him out of my mind." Tim now believes that he's dealing with a master assassin with a huge grudge against Damien and Danyal showing no signs of malicious or aggression in their meetings only convinces him that Danyal is a master actor too.
Which, Danyal is a master actor. But all that other stuff is just Tim reaching.
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reebmasul · 2 months
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sun-scented !!! a random iwaoi brainrot turned into a short silly comic (*/∀\*)
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barawrah · 3 months
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i think they should sit together and drink tea . maybe the grief of not saying goodbye to your most important person before they died will ebb away a little bit
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adiposesaleswoman · 8 months
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sequel to the blue collar worker bodytype sebby post ‼️‼️‼️ I definitely love men
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ot3 · 4 months
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When edgeworth is chief prosecutor Larry keeps harassing him to try and get his various speeding tickets dismissed because he's gonna lose his license at this rate and edgeworth bitches about this incessantly to phoenix complaining like. He just needs to stop speeding what is his fucking proooblem. And phoenix has to be the one to point out that edgeworth has no room to talk because he speeds literally everywhere he goes since no cop in the city is stupid enough to pull him over. and edgeworth gets soooooo mad at him for this.
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yashley · 5 months
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"Yeah, but we talked about it and I didn’t want it." "Why not?" "Because it scared me."
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cozybells · 6 months
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what if they were meaner and also were in love
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balis77 · 3 months
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Shoutout to Magic for taking "Watson equivalent who was a former assassin of some kind" and ascending it to "Watson equivalent who is still an active assassin, not even on the side, like being a detective's assistant is their side job"
Proft: "He's covered his tracks well. He's definitely our culprit, but with all the physical evidence destroyed we'll never be able to prove it to the courts." Etrata: "...So like, does that mean I'm fine to... you know..." Proft: *sighs* "...Just please tell me you're being paid by someone else to do it." Etrata: "Oh they gave me the contract like halfway through the investigation. I was just waiting to see if we could get him in custody first."
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virgothozul · 7 months
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I - idk I have a special connection to the groceryshoppingtogether trope.
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wally learned something new today!!! why doesn't he show us what-
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ah.
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enobariasteeth · 1 year
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one of my favorite scenes from the first hunger games movie is the shot of Haymitch watching a capitol couple gift their children a toy sword
the little boy immediately “stabs” his sister, who dramatically collapses into their mothers arms, causing all of them to laugh
really just adds to how desensitized the capitol is to the horror they cause. Of course their children pretending to be hunger games tributes is cute and funny, they’ll never have to experience that.
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voxisdaddy · 9 days
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Sweets
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C/TW: Mentions of sex but otherwise nothing bad.
Nah but imagine Vox knowing you have a crush on him and he’s thinking like, yeah I could take advantage of this—meaning ‘hell yeah I get laid and an attractive partner? Sign me up’. Regardless of what your relationship with him is, he is interested and down to fuck and have a possible sexual relationship with you from here on out. So he makes his move by inviting you to his personal living quarters in the Vee Tower. You walk in, heart fluttering about at the prospect your crush wanting to spend time with you, and are quickly met with Vox. He of course puts the moves on you; charming smirk, the correct choice of words, arm wrapping around your hips or your waist as he pulls you in closer to him. He hints at something—a burning desire. You’re flustered in his arms. He’s thinking, yeah he’s got this in the bag. But then you push on his chest and unwrap yourself from his arm. Wait what? “Vox,”—You’d start, “I’m flattered but…I’m not that kind of person.” You then excuse yourself and before Vox knows it, he’s standing alone in his living quarters. You’re into him? He knows this. What happened? Despite his annoyances with the results, he still persists. He spends the next several weeks trying to seduce you, flirting with you very sexually—not Valentino level but still sexually charged. Yet every time he gets shot down. One day he’s ranting to Velvette about it to which she rolls her eyes and scoffs, “Is sex the only thing you can think about?” Velvette whips out her phone, pulling up your social media pages, all your likes, comments, reposts, music playlists, shows and movies you watch, ect,. “They’re a romantic—A fucking sweet one at that. Taking advantage of their feelings just so you can get your dick wet whenever you want isn’t gonna get you anywhere, darling.” Vox spends a few days thinking it over. Okay so a more romantic approach. But he tried inviting you over! He even set the mood and everything. Though it was with the hope that…it would quickly lead to having you naked on his bed. He probably has some sort of mental war with himself about it too. Like why’s he trying so hard? It isn’t until he spots you on one of his cameras where he realizes he may want something much more than just sex with you. But is it too late? Did all his attempts at wooing you really scare you away? He watched with bated breath as you sat on a water fountain, gingerly typing away on your phone. You were wearing the loveliest looking spring dress/shirt. You looked so…beautiful. So sweet. So innocent. And romantic. A type of romance that seemed like it didn’t exist in hell. He was so mesmerized he didn’t even realize a second figure coming to sit next to you. He only realized when you put your phone down and smiled sweetly at the person. Who was this person? Why are you so close together? Why do you look like you’re blushing—? Oh. It’s a date.
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As a hopeless romantic, reading Vox x Reader fics and so many of them having some kind of sexual undertone or more mature tone makes me kind of sad. I truly love tooth rotting fluffy romance. Think—picnic in a cherry blossom field while wearing the strawberry dress. So I wanted to write a little (not so little, it kinda got away from me) imagine where Vox’s idea of romance clashes with readers and it ends up only pushing them away. So yeah. Here’s that. I mean no disrespect to everyone’s fics of them tho—trust me they’re delicious in every way possible but I just really need to feed my hopeless sweet romantic side for a bit <3
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kindlovingmother · 15 days
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I cant fuck my daughter cause i know shes too little to handle it but that doesnt mean i wont think about it almost every single day. Everytime i bathe her, everytime i get her dressed, everytime i see her playing with her toys on the floor or laying on her tummy and drawing in her coloring book, everytime i tuck her in and everytime i check on her during the night to make sure shes sleeping. Everytime i think about how adorable she would look full of my cock. How cute she would sound, how pretty her tear stained face would look, how i could hold her little hand in mine and tell her that its gonna be over soon and that shes making mommy feel so so good. Sometimes the urge to break her in gets too strong and i think that maybe she can handle it but i cant do that to my little girl :(( im supposed to protect her and keep her safe :(((
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