#OKAY he does in fact have a lot of rizz but it's like

[rarestdoge]

Ayo, who he blushin at tho? 🤨

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Can I request something similar to your latest Lewis smau except y/n is Toto's daughter? It's controversial because she's younger, you know the drill

Sure!! <3 For this one I made Y/n a singer

Btw the song in this fic is made up lol

username1 She's PRECIOUS

username2 Y/n is so me

username3 Honestly that's so reletable

username4 I swear this girl will pet any creature she can, how isn't she scared of catching some disease?

↳username1 Have you ever heard of water? Is the concept of washing your hands familiar to you?

username5 Oh to be a cat pet by Y/n Wolff...

username6 A rich girl petting strays... Imagine how much of a better place the world would be if she put the same energy into some charity work

↳username7 Y/n is known for doing charity work when it comes to animals. Pretty sure some % of her earnings goes to several pet charities, organizations. Not to mention she's been vegan for a few years now

↳username8 Wow immagine if you did your research before commenting

↳username9 i love how Y/n was born into the rich life but has always been humble and used her money to help others

username10 Literally she gets a lot of hate for being a daughter of a billionaire like okay next time she'll choose to be born poor lmao

username11 exactly!! there's a difference between flexing on daddy's money and using your daddy's money for good causes

username9 pretty sure she makes her own money now;)

y/n_wolff Busy day at work 😋 look who I bumped into on the way to the studio!!

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georgerussell63 Look at you finally doing some work

↳y/n_wolff Don't worry, soon I'm back at my 2nd job (I just hang around the paddock looking all pretty and stuff)

georgerussell63 No, thank you ❤️ we don't miss you

lewishamilton Speak for yourself George, Roscoe likes when Y/n babysits him

y/n_wolff Roscoe is the only one who understands me for real 😭

roscoelovescoco Petition for an invitation next time you go to the studio

↳y/n_wolff I swear I sent one, it must've got lost on the way 🥹 the pigeon dropped it or something

roscoelovescoco Still using pigeons? That's not very vegan of you...

y/n_wolff Hey! I pay them, alright? If they didn't want to, they wouldn't do this job...

y/n_wolff (hey everyone this is a joke obv)

username3 Imagine what will happen when the haters see this comment section lol

mercedesamgf1 Can't wait to hear it ❤️

↳y/n_wolff 🫶

oscarpiastri Look at that last pic of Y/n with Lando

↳landonorris fuck you if I was an animal i wouldn't be a cat

y/n_wolff Right, you'd be a worm.

landonorris would you guys still love me if I was a worm?

oscarpiastri No

y/n_wolff No

username1 May this be a love song 🤞I need to her one from Y/n after her terrible breakup last year

↳username2 She had a boyfriend last year??

username1 Yeah, we don't know anything about him besides the fact that he broke her heart... Poor girl deserves some true love

username2 Was it a driver?

username1 I highly doubt it, they wouldn't be able to keep it so private

alex_albon Pls make it singable on track

↳y/n_wolff 😬 well...

alex_albon Y/n...

y/n_wolff It's a love song...

username4 SHE ADMITTED!! IT'S A LOVE SONG!!

↳username5 Our girl is in love again 😭

username4 I just hope he treats her better than her ex. Otherwise imma need to talk to him

maxverstappen1 If you like cats so much you should come over sometime

↳username4 Cats rizz 💀

↳username2 No cuz Max has had a crush on Y/n for so long now and I'd love to see them together

↳y/n_wolff You're a few weeks too late 😂🙈

username3 EXCUSE ME I NEED TO KNOW WHO THE MAN IS

username5 Me too, I just wanna talk... *cracking fingers*

y/n_wolff The one I prayed for out now, let me know your thoughts 🩷🕊️

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georgerussell63 Since when are you so religious?🤨

↳y/n_wolff He changed me ❤️

oscarpiastri Great, another song Lando will make me unwillingly listen to

↳y/n_wolff You love my music, don't lie

landonorris yes he does

oscarpiastri Alright, I know a few songs

y/n_wolff A few songs my ass, I saw that iconic interview where you and Lando sing my songs

landonorris he will never admit it but he was a fan YEARS before he got into f1 and met you

y/n_wolff Not like I stalk his Twitter but I saw a post from 2019 about me, it had like 5 likes and Oscar was one of them lmao

landonorris i knew you had daddy issues but are you okay?

↳y/n_wolff Yeah why?? Wtf??

landonorris well after hearing this song I'm not

username1 "They may judge the age we are, the differences they see, but love knows not of boundaries, it only seeks to be free" MY GIRL IS A POET 😭

username2 I'm not ready to meet this man after hearing "He's walked through fire, faced his fears, but in his heart, there's room for tears" 😭

carmenmmundt Truly in love with the lyrics, they're out of this world, out of this century

↳y/n_wolff Thank you love 🥹

lewishamilton The chorus got me in a chokehold💜

↳y/n_wolff He's the one I prayed for, in the dead of night, a love like ours, hidden from sight. If people knew, they'd say it's wrong, but in his arms I belong🥹

↳username4 What is Lewis doing here...?

username5 Chill, he drives for Mercedes. George also commented in case you didn't notice

username3 Lyrics so beautiful miss girl was born in the wrong generation

↳username2 fr it sounds straight from 20th century poetry, she's too pure for the age of quick tinder hookups

username6 I knew what her father was like but damn...that song screams daddy issues...

↳username7 Y/n said music is her therapy, that's just how she chooses to express her emotions

username8 When are we going to talk about this part of the lyrics?? "In his eyes, reflections of victory, every triumph and mystery. He's raced through life, faced every curve"?? THIS HAS TO BE ABOUT A DRIVER

↳username9 Y/N AND MAX???

username10 me when I'm delusional

↳username11 I wish it was about Max, but it's certainly about an older guy. I mean, Max is a few years older than Y/n, but the song feels like the guy is in his 30s

lewishamilton Summer break = days spent at the beach

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username1 Sir Lewis Hamilton casually adding his boss' daughter to his vacation pics 🤨

↳username2 fr did he think we wouldn't notice?

georgerussell63 Blink twice if Y/n forced you to post the last photo

↳lewishamilton She kindly asked and I agreed.

y/n_wolff Exactly. That's what I do. I ask. Kindly.

username3 SO HER SONG IS ABOUT HIM??

↳username4 Seems like it 🥹

username3 idk how I feel about it tbh... she's too young for him

username5 Yeah imo she'd be better with Max

username4 Shut the hell up guys, let them be happy, there must be a reason they're together

landonorris that's called soft launching, did you know that?

↳y/n_wolff Wdym?? We're just team bonding during the summer break

georgerussell63 Then why wasn't I at the team bonding?

y/n_wolff Uhhhh I'll call you back later, I'm driving through a tunnel 😬

username6 She's too young for him, will have her fun and move onto the next guy (Max?)

↳username7 You're the reason why so many celebs prefer to keep their relationships a secret

username8 WHAT DID TOTO SAY??

↳username6 Does he even know? 💀 AFAIK he doesn't have social media

username8 But it's impossible that he wouldn't know, right...?

y/n_wolff I love you but what is this basic caption?😭

↳lewishamilton I'd rather like to focus on how pretty you look

y/n_wolff I LOVE YOU 😭

landonorris simp

y/n_wolff Stfu Lando, you wish you could hang out with us at the beach

username3 Lmao didn't expect Lando calling the 7 times world champion a simp but here we are

username9 Okay guys but... The girlfriend effect? How will the girlfriend effect work in this case if Lewis is a fashion icon already?

↳username10 There must be a way for an upgrade, there always is

y/n_wolff Sorry, he's all perfect already🫶I guess the gf effect only applies to boys and my man is a real man🗡

maxverstappen1 Have fun ☀️ see you back on track soon

↳username6 Something doesn't feels right seeing Max in this comment section...

username10 Get your shit together, him and Y/n never had a thing, y'all made it all up based on one interview Max gave years ago

mercedesamgf1 🌞😎

y/n_wolff He's the one I prayed for

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lewishamilton I love you babe but what is this basic caption?

↳y/n_wolff You're learning from the best, I see

georgerussell63 Good to know you're still team bonding 👍

↳y/n_wolff Yeah, we bonded really hard last night😌

georgerussell63 TMI

oscarpiastri The last pic 🤓

↳landonorris she's getting bold isn't she

y/n_wolff I don't have reasons to be shy tho, do I?

landonorris girl made one good song and made it her whole personality

↳y/n_wolff This is girlhood, you'd never get it

landonorris btw this is hard launching but in a 'we don't give a fuck' way

↳y/n_wolff Well, we don't 🤷‍♀️

username1 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LITTLE Y/N😭

↳username2 She grew up 😭

username3 I love how nonchalant they're about it

carmenmmundt Someone's been working out🤭

↳y/n_wolff Now I have a personal trainer 😌

username4 WHAT DID TOTO SAY??

↳username5 Bet we're gonna see much more of smashing his headset after the break

username6 How is she so casual about it? We just found out she's dating LEWIS MF HAMILTON and she's acting like that's nothing

↳username3 I guess it is 'nothing' for her, she's known Lewis since she was really young

username7 That's what's giving me the biggest ick because this man has known her since she was an early teen and suddenly decided to date her?

username3 Yeah but she's in her 20s now, she's a consenting adult

username7 That's not normal, this is the definition of grooming

username3 I'm sorry I'm too european for your bullshit

username8 Lewis said fuck it I'm going to Ferrari next year anyway, might as well shoot my shot 💀

username9 Max Verstappen has been really silent

↳username10 Now he'll compete with Lewis not only for the championship but also for Y/n 😂

username9 It would be such a win

username11 Can y'all MaxY/n shippers shut up? I swear y'all are worse than Lestappen shippers

y/n_wolff Roscoe working hard while his dad socializes with his grandpaw 🥳

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username1 I didn't even realize now that Y/n and Lewis are together it means Toto is Roscoe's grandpaw 😭

georgerussell63 Working hard or hardly working?

↳y/n_wolff No comment...

landonorris really shocked to see toto still gets along with lew

↳username2 Lando saying what we all think lol

↳y/n_wolff Dad was actually happy!!

landonorris does he hope you'll convince lew to stay in mercedes?

y/n_wolff How am I supposed to know 🤷‍♀️ you go talk to him

oscarpiastri New songs when?

↳y/n_wolff Soon!! (I haven't started working on them)

username2 I'm actually happy to see them happy and that Toto accepts Lewis as Y/n's boyfriend

↳username3 It's still weird 💀 imagine calling a 40 year old your 'boyfriend'

username2 People are allowed to find love at any age

username3 Lewis is closer in age to Toto than to Y/n

username2 And? Y/n isn't a child, she's a grown woman, if Lewis is what she wants, who are we to judge?

username3 It's just icky... It's not gonna last long

username4 I still can't stop thinking what could be if Y/n was dating Max 🥹

↳username5 fr my dream couple

username6 Y'all see how Y/n predicted people's reaction in her song? "If people knew, they'd say it's wrong" and y'all can't stop yapping about imaginary grooming or what her and Max could've been

↳username7 Girl should've kept it a secret, I feel sorry for them 🥲

↳username8 But in his arms I belong

y/n_wolff Okay everybody, I didn't want to talk about it, but you give me no choice. Lewis and I are in love, there was no grooming involved, I make my own decisions. I really wanted to cherish our love with my new music, but you make me re-think it. I don't feel excited to share our love with you anymore.

↳lewishamilton Don't worry about them darling ❤️

↳danielricciardo FEA

↳landonorris You have our support guys

↳oscarpiastri Don't let these comments get to you, they don't matter

↳georgerussell63 I know I usually act like a snappy older brother, but I love to see you happy (even if Lewis is the reason)

↳maxverstappen1 Haters are always gonna hate, but they don't deserve your attention

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

Baking With BF!Dean Winchester Headcanons

✨ Dean Winchester x GN!Reader ✨

*sighs in 2014 was 10 years ago* Minors do NOT interact, this is not “rizz-ing!” Off you go!

A/N: I love writing these because they’re like half baked yet surprisingly endearing thoughts and it’s fun haha.

Icons by me!

All notes are appreciated! Hope you enjoy!

Content Warning: I have a bad sense of humor and make some sex jokes but nothing too explicit, at least I think so. Definitely still 18+

( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

-3 favorite things to bake with him

1. Pie (obvs)

2. Brownies (sometimes with pot…)

3. Cookies (all kinds)

-okay, now that that's been established...

-one day you had jokingly suggested the bunker should do a cookie jar

-this was taken seriously; not only by Dean, Sam and Cas; but also by literally every regular passerby. Even Rowena's made a batch of red velvet cookies. (We threw those ones away, we couldn't trust that they weren't poisoned, made of blood, or both)

-but if it's just the usual crew (you, the brothers, and Cas) then you have a weekly rotation

-and Dean regularly suckers you into "helping" him, even though you both knows he’s capable of being a big boy (and I mean he is a big boy if you catch my drift) and doing it himself

-those candy apple green eyes work wonders

-anyhoo

-one of his favorite, stupidly cheesy things to do is as follows:

-you’ll have a taste of the batter/dough/filling, as one does (it’s always good cause the two of you together are an unstoppable force in the kitchen) (alone is a different story- it’s usually Kraft Mac n Cheese cups)

-and while you’re trying it, making faces, he’ll look over and innocently ask if he can try it

-like “Can I get some, sweetheart?” (And yes he most certainly can get some.) (batter, I mean) (definitely batter) or “can I try some, doll?”

-and no matter how many times he’s tried it you’ll say yes

-so he’ll lean down, cupping your cheeks in his rough hands and kiss you as passionately as humanly possible

-like, these kisses could literally bake the cookies or whatever because of how hot they are

-and he’ll make sure he really gets to try it

-and then he’ll pull back with a smirk, cause he’s done it at least 30 times before and you still let him and still like melt into a puddle every single time. Without fail.

-you guys like to put on Disney soundtracks in the background when you bake. High school musical and Moana primarily, but he’s also taken with the soundtrack of Julie and the Phantoms. (He complained about the show being unrealistic supernaturally speaking and then was adamant that there should be a season two and cancelling it was a crime worthy of hell)

-also, rock, obviously. As a fan of Bon Jovi, you best believe you sell him on them and slow dance to Bed of Roses while things are in the oven. It’s only right.

-if you’re listening to heat of the moment and Sam the baby giraffe walks in he will get those sad eyes, making both of you scramble to make him something else, like some keto hidden veggie brownies or some shit, to make him feel better

-now, in specifics

-pie is for fun. You two usually make one to split for after dinner. Roughly once a month, but should be more often. Well, that’s not fair if you count creampies

-apple is his favorite, ofc. You use Mary’s recipe, and you’re the only person in the whole wide world that he trusts with modifying it in any way

-you also make them for him if he’s sick or if you guys have for some reason had a fight. The latter is rarer, but does still happen on occasion

-it’s okay though, because pie will always make things better

-cookies are almost exclusively for the jar. These are made on random frequencies, usually a lot at a time.

-he likes butterscotch a lot, and you find a way to mix your favorite flavors into either one monstrosity or one beauty of a cookie

-you guys have in fact made your own recipe. It’s awesome. Like, prized possession material.

-and then brownies

-they’re literally just pimped up store bought mix. Preferably Ghirardelli, for maximum bougie-ness

-and then sometimes you guys add some fun time grass

-you’ll do that when you just want to have a soft night. You’ll always way up to him laying on you and holding you like a koala though- may your back be prepared

-overall he just really enjoys spending time with you in any way that he can and baking is a great way to do that

-Dean Winchester is precious

-I rest my case

If you have any ideas for more headcanons, send a request! My box is always open!

Xx

[deadboy-edwin]

I have this idea for payneland:

Both of them get hit with some kind of spell of sorts that makes them "human" for 24 hours (basically like when they were alive: people can see them, hear them, touch them, they can taste and feel things again, the works)

What do you think they'd do in that time? Maybe taste their fav foods again?

So please bear with me as this will be more of brainrot than an actual fic because I just want to yap- but in my head, it would be kinda funny if the gang was able to get Tragic Mick to turn back into a walrus. The goddess Sedna would then "punish" the boys for daring to defy her- since she had said that Mick would never return to the sea if he chose to leave.

I feel like Sedna would lowkey have a soft spot for abused children, and would also see Mick's love for the sea, and on the inside not really be that mad tbh. Hence the "punishment". She'd "curse" Edwin and Charles to be alive once more.

They don't really know if it's permanent or whatever, but can you imagine the hilarity of Edwin being so used to phasing through walls and doors, then him just walking straight into a door and smacking into it because he's solid- Crystal would have a field day ribbing him for it.

I think, them being human would make them quite unable to take on cases, since admittedly them being regular humans (not everyone can be Crystal Palace Surname Von Hoverkraft okay) makes them vulnerable to beings like demons. So they'd have some downtime. That gives Charles time to think.

Being fully corporeal also allows Crystal to hang out with them like she would with living people. It also allows Crystal to notice things about them that would not have been possible when they were ghosts- like Charles blushing when Edwin adjusts his collar so it's up. Or how the two boys are so tactile. Sure, they'd always been tactile, but why does it seem Charles is extra touchy, now that both boys can feel physical touch?

I think Edwin, bitchy little nerd that he is (and we love him for it) would have a field day with Google. He'd struggle with whatever the fuck a laptop is, and how LED screens strain his poor eyes, and probs get those anti-blue light glasses, and Charles would have a bisexual awakening because Edwin in glasses???

Charles, on the other hand. I feel like boy would want to party. He strikes me as the kind of guy who would be fun at parties, and he'd probably drag the gang to a nightclub after spending the entire day eating different kinds of food (I think he'd enjoy cookie dough ice cream- but that's just me projecting my own cravings).

At the club, Charles might be a bit sulky because Edwin had spent a lot of the day on Crystal's laptop, despite them switching restaurants so that they could try everything- and he's thankful that the laptop is not present at the club.

Unfortunately, Edwin is Edwin, and his brand of anti-rizz also works on the living. You have living people coming up to him left and right, and Charles wonders why this hasn't happened much in death.

Crystal is fast to point out that it's because ghosts are invisible to regular humans. Edwin is not a ghost at the moment, so he's not invisible. She also makes it a point to tell Charles about exactly how many people had simped for Edwin in the afterlife (Monty, the Cat King, hello????)

I think Charles would then get drunk. One, because he's been a ghost for some thirty-odd years. Dude has no fucking clue what his alcohol tolerance levels are. Two, because he gets annoyed that Edwin is getting hit on so much.

There is a third reason that comes to mind once he's fully inebriated, and it's the fact that the following thoughts aren't exactly heterosexual

Getting pouty when your best mate isn't paying attention to you while you are having a meal together

Staring and practically drooling when your best mate is wearing glasses

Getting upset when guys and girls (despite Edwin's lack of interest in the latter) keep flirting with Edwin

Wanting to feel Edwin's touch while he has all his senses at full blast

The plot twist here is that since Edwin is also alive and fully corporeal, our repressed Edwardian boy has actually been icing Charles out because as a human, he does not have the luxury of willing erections away.

I think though, because it seems like immortal beings in the DBDA universe have a sense of humor (hi, Cat King and Esther- wicked as her sense of humor is), when Charles finally makes a move and pulls Edwin away from the admittedly gorgeous guy that had been chatting him up with a "He's in love with me, and vice versa, I'm afraid" and kissing Edwin in the middle of the dance floor, is when they turn back into ghosts.

Even though they're now invisible to most humans once more, Edwin is still quick to berate Charles on the PDA- though there's a softness to his berating.

They end up discovering that as ghosts, they can still feel physical sensations if there's enough emotion involved.

That is a fortunate discovery for all parties involved, especially for our girl Crystal Palace Surname Von Hoverkraft, who walks into the office a few days after the club debacle, and sees Edwin pressing Charles up against a bookcase, snogging him with a fervor, his thigh working its way in between Charles' legs---

"Hot," Crystal comments with a smirk, causing the two boys to jump apart with matching sheepish grins on their faces. "If I'd known Edwin kissed like that, I would've gotten it on with him instead."

[caineinthecorner]

Languages (The Others)

★ Based on my language general hcs + the brothers' hcs.

Hi I am sleep deprived. Behold part two of my shitty hc delusions wooooo.

"Caine you missed some" yeah I'm lazy (+ don't know their characterization well enough). If you want to add hcs for the guys I skipped you can but in the meantime I'll go with the basic bitch options

Gentle reminder I make shit up. (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

★ Solomon.

Okay so like I said with Asmo he knows french (and they're both nasty with it)

Basically he rizzed up Asmo in french

Using the dude he was in based out of he also knows English (native probably), Welsh, German, full-ass Demon Tongue and like some latin for magic bs. Idk

(bcs the guy lived nearby those countries in ye old Europe(tm) and something something immortal so why tf not learn languages while at it)

(also of course he learned demon tongue. He wants to rizz up demons and what better way to do that)

He learned demon tongue from random demons and a lot of trial and error

Plus he knows japanese if we are under the pretense that mc is japanese.

So like Solomon tries to use language rizz to get close to you as the other human student in Devildom. So basically using the Asmo trick with you.

... He's kinda painfully obvious with it

(how tf did Asmodeus fall for this shit?)

If you don't speak any of the languages he is fluent in his ass will ABSOLUTELY pick 'em up and be like "hey I want to learn:)"

He uses language as a tool to get what he wants basically

No wonder him and Asmo get along

If you know a language that is not loquar-translatable and he speaks it as well prepare to get secret-talk'd a lot.

Not having people spying your convos is a incredibly valuable asset in Devildom

Especially since you're around the brothers almost 24/7 and they're fucking VIGILANT

Oh also he 100% knows that Asmo fakes being shit at English.

But he's a simp so 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠  ⁠)⁠ㄏ

★ Luke.

FUNNILY ENOUGH. Two things:

Yes he doesn't need Loquar to communicate with you since he's an angel BUT

For some reason (cough your heritage cough) he keeps messing up in which language speak to you with.

Angel instincts are telling him to just use whatever language with you but the thing is that You Don't Know Whatever Language

Which is odd because that's something he only does with fellow angels????

But you are human so

He doesn't think much of it. He's probably just confused because he's around mean demons! >:T

(His basic subconscious instincts are harder to control since he's low ranking and his Angel brain is going "You = angel = language doesn't matter")

But since he keeps somewhat messing up around you he decides to gesture to hell when talking to you just in case

so you get the gist through his mannerisms in case his words get fucky

His least favorite language ever is Demon Tongue. Even outside of Not Liking Demons he doesn't like how throat-y and intensive it is.

↑ that is a popular Angel opinion btw. Demon Tongue in general is just annoying to use for them and barely any Angels use it outside of in-the-moment communication with Devildom natives.

If you ask him his preferred language he'll say some form of Latin since it's the preferred language of most high ranked angels, as well as Michael's.

But it's actually English.

★ Simeon.

Since he is was a high rank angel, he doesn't mess up what language speak to you with. He has real good control of stuff like that that comes with experience and age.

(in fact he's very confused why Luke keeps messing up so bad around you but doesn't think much of it since Luke is technically still a fledgling)

I already said this but yeah his preferred language is Archaic Latin (shared it with Lucifer pre-fall).

Ever since Lucifer's fall he switched to plain English and that's the answer he'll give you if you ask.

Only Angel that isn't bothered speaking demon tongue and will do so at his own leisure.

If you try to learn the demon language he is unironically so helpful because he isn't a spiteful bitch like Lucifer and actually teaches you shit without throwing you into the wolves

In fact Simeon is amused as hell over the fact that Lucifer is making you learn the hard stuff first. That is so him.

He's like the good cop of the learning dynamic. Cool substitute teacher vibes

Simeon finds accents to be the cutest thing ever since it is an inherently odd concept for someone fluent in Everything Ever

He has (jokingly) cooed over Luci's accent when he speaks Latin nowadays. Lucifer is not at all amused.

★ Barbatos.

He knows every language.

... Yeah that's it that's the list

Look at me dead in the eyes and tell me this motherfucker does not speak Sumerian

Ofc he knows every human language ever. And Devildom's. He knows™.

Funniest thing is that he doesn't even need Loquar to talk to you. He just deadass speaks your language with full fluency and you Never Notice

You only notice one day while having a normal convo with him and then Diavolo walks in speaking full deadass gibberish somehow and you're like ????? and Barbatos says "oh apologies I forgot to apply Loquar to you here you go"

Like deadass he would fuck with you so hard when it comes to languages.

Do not go to this man for language advice he will teach you proper stuff in the most incorrect way possible

(Probably! Or probably not! It depends! On what? Who the fuck knows™!)

He's deadass a roulette of proper, legitimate advice or literal shitposting

He wrote the Voynich manuscript. It was a housekeeping journal he was keeping in a dead Devildom idiom that ended up in the human realm by accident

He didn't retrieve it solely because seeing humans go insane over it was funny as hell and he has a secondary copy anyway. That book has nothing relevant in it besides like two recipes.

He did go to check back on it once to write down a meat pie recipe Diavolo's father liked bcs he didn't have on the copy

Barbatos is the definition of "wtf what language was that" "yes."

He and Lucifer have random days where they just pick a language to speak to each other. It helps to maintain fluency.

Barbatos jumpscared Satan once by going, full ass unprompted mid convo, "Oh right you speak Tagalog."

He knows what languages everyone speaks like a white girl knows zodiac charts

★ Diavolo.

Ok so he probably knows English since it is Solomon's native and humanity's current universal(ish) language

Like of course he wants to communicate with humans! Of course he'll learn their language!!!

Unlike Barbatos and Lucifer who are very impressive Polyglots he's realistic in his language stuff. The more down-to-earth of the three

His English is hilarious

Not particularly because he says things wrong but his accent and tone just makes it sound incredibly funny

He sounds exactly like a dubbed-over superhero doing a friendship monologue At All Times

He is so earnest with it that you don't have the heart to explain why you're laughing

Anyhow fun fact:

Loquar for some reason translates what he says in Demon Tongue the most literal ass sense possible for literally no reason

Which is odd(tm) but mostly just funny as all hell

Everyone has been troubleshooting whatever the fuck happens to Loquar Ad Vos with Diavolo but no idea so far.

The phrase "have you tried unpapplying it and applying it again" has been uttered more than once unironically

The working theory is that since Diavolo is royalty and Loquar Ad Vos was created with the sampling of normal demons it works wrong on him since there's something different(tm)

Reverse engineering the Loquar spell to work on him has been in the works for a while. Loquar is drafted like shit since it is an old human-oriented spell (Basically like spaghetti code needing to be rewritten), so it proves a bit troublesome.

You later find that Diavolo speaks in a very uniquely pronounced manner

↑ Think of it like Devildom royalty has a very distinctive Way Of Speaking. Like an accent but also not. Probably magic related in some way(?)

"do you want to consume nourishment" ← Diavolo's ass getting mistranslated

So yeah Barbatos or Lucifer kinda have to lend a hand when you two communicate.

If you're English speaking then you two kinda communicate that way sometimes. You reassure him on his accent and help him along if he gets anything wrong.

(he's fluent-ish in Japanese as well if we are running in the assumption that the reason why MC's canonically japanese is because they needed someone who A) speaks a language translatable by Loquar Ad Vos B) is also a language Diavolo knows and C) is not of the same social background as Solomon)

He will get so unapologetically excited when you start learning demon tongue. You two can!!! Communicate even more!!!!!

Demons will be genuinely mortified if you gain Diavolo's accent while speaking demon tongue. Why does this random ass human speak like royalty ತ⁠_⁠ತ

Very (un)subtle way to tell everyone that you're besties/partner/whatever of the literal prince of Devildom.

Something something dragon being possessive something

[isa-ghost]

You know why I’m here. Give me your hot take of FitMC and Missa dynamic. 👀 I’m gonna enable brainrot.

I SEE YOU, WIFE OF MINE. YOU'RE NOT SUBTLE.

Obviously this applies to their dynamic in AMFMN AND my take on what Would Be in canon.

Fit and Missa seem like mega opposites on the surface, but in reality, there are a couple things they're on the same page, same paragraph, same letter on. One such thing is how viciously they'll protect their loved ones. You fuck with their partner, their closest friends, or their kids and you're getting unbridled rage the likes of which you'll never want to be on the receiving end of again.

In complete tone whiplash, they're also both fantastic flirts. Will they fumble a little maybe? Oh yeah. Fit having rizz let alone an extensive social network is hella new to him, and Missa is, well,,, Missa. Exploding with energy and too in love with the target of his affection to keep all that energy contained. And that's assuming the self-worth demons aren't beating him to death with hammers but I digress. When they're both confident and whatnot, Fit & Missa have hella flirt game. Phil would know.

They both put family first unconditionally. Fit puts Pac & Ramon before anything, and Missa puts Phil, Chayanne & Lullah before anything including himself. They will both kill AND die for their families.

Given they're so similarly motivated, they work together seamlessly. Fit might be a bit more quick to act or opt for violence sooner than Missa, and Missa might be easily consumed by anxiety or a fear of failure, but really there's not much that sets them apart.

Getting silly here again: Fit 🤝🏻 Missa -> Big Fuckass Weapon. Missa has his reaper scythe, and Fit has a whole arsenal; the trident, his plain scythe, his potato cannon, and I personally love to headcanon him with a massive fuckoff warhammer.

Okay so bear with me here, this one's VERY headcanon but I'd like to apply it to canon bc we're never getting deep Missa lore like this so Let Me Cook: Fit and Missa both have "superiors" looming behind them that would fuck a Lot of what they have going for them on Quesadilla Island up. Fit has Madagio, obviously. Not much else needs to be said about that. Missa, however, has his grim reaper "superior(s)." I haven't worked out the details of how they function, but grim reapers take their job of reaping & guiding passed souls very very seriously. It's a demanding job, which is why Missa is away so often, frequently with little to no notice to anyone, even Phil. Well, what Missa is doing (falling in love, making mortal friends, a mortal family, etc) is pretty risky for a reaper. He's living that Doomed To Lose Everyone trope and the fact that Phil is immortal and therefore he won't lose him is a huge reason he fell in love with him. WELL, obviously living through repetitive inevitable loss like that can take a HUGE toll on someone mentally & emotionally. For a reaper, potentially to the point of being incapable of doing their job when the time comes. By doing what he's doing on QI, Missa is risking exactly that. Reapers have a major "rule" of Don't Get Attached, and ya boy is VERY VERY attached to a lot of QI residents. Death Themselves would not be very pleased by that and would perceive it as a threat to Missa's ability to do his job in an instant. I'd like to think he's been keeping all his QI shenanigans on the downlow to any & all reapers, for the sake of keeping heat off himself & his loved ones. So yeah. He and Fit both are hiding attachments they shouldn't have from their superiors.

Both Fit and Missa are simultaneously "kick ass first, ask questions later" and "this is something we need to plan carefully" people. How does this work, you ask? Well. They're both strategic people who know a lot about fights and tense situations, not to mention the Federation isn't a case where they can stomp their shit in and then get what they want. But they're also both heavy hitters when it comes to PVP and a lot of times it's easier to bonk a motherfucker and Then get answers. No Thoughts Only Eliminate Threat.

When something goes wrong, if it isn't a personal matter, the first thing they do is consult one of the people they trust most. This could be Phil, Pac, or Roier. You can guess who would go to who (they'd both go to Phil).

Missa is often susceptible to anxiety & mental spirals. It's not like Fit isn't, but he's had loads of experience learning to keep a level head no matter what and knows better than most that being pragmatic is what'll keep you alive longest. In other words, in times of crisis, Fit is excellent at grounding Missa and getting him to lock in during moments that call for it.

I feel like both of them have garbage sleeping habits. Be it because they stay up too late bc they're busy with something, can't stay asleep long, or some other reason, they just both strike me as night owls, potentially against their wills.

Which is funny because I can also see them both being early risers who appreciate the morning. Fit and his routine with Morning Crew, Missa and his Grim Reaper Appreciation for the small things in life, like the peaceful quiet of early day, the sun only just starting to warm things, etc etc.

Something something don't bring up Spreen when they're both around because that'll get tense and awkward Quick.

I don't know if I'd consider Fit loud, but I feel like he has this accidental habit of jumpscaring the shit out of Missa by simply existing one way or another because Missa can be so easy to startle sometimes. It's a running joke between them.

I am an unapologetic believer that Fit and Missa both have nasty tempers when you REALLY piss them off, even if it takes a Lot to push them to that point.

Just sayin', Phil and Pac would NOT be able to contain themselves if they watched their partners spar.

[kumakuma-circus]

burning men's soul is the funniest persona thing to me. here's me trying to make sense of the lyrics (mostly under the cut).

"check it out, i'm in the house like carpet"

this line implies that being in the house like carpet is somehow different than being in the house normally because it is. completely unnecessary to specify otherwise. i don't know how being in the house like carpet is different though does it just mean you're not allowed in the bathroom and kitchen.

"and if there's too many heads in my blunt i won't spark it"

my friend pointed out that this is probably meant to be saying "hits" which makes a lot more sense but literally everyone i've seen has written it as heads. and even if it is hits it doesn't really make sense because then he should spark it probably???

"i'll put it in my pocket and save it like rocket fuel 'till everybody's gone, and it's cool"

i don't even know what to say about this one. do people commonly save rocket fuel??? also i don't know if putting a blunt in your pocket is a good idea.

"then i spark it up with my brother. his momma named him moe, but i call him moe lover"

does moe have extreme levels of rizz.

"and he's more than a cover he's a quilt"

all i can think of here is that like. quilts are generally more fancy than covers??? it's still an insane metaphor though.

"and we're putting shit together like the house that john built on the hill"

who is john. why did he build a house on the hill.

"cuz this shit's gonna feel like velvet, turtle"

this line is fine until he says turtle. which is probably just to rhyme with the next line but i feel like there's a better way to do that then just. randomly saying turtle.

"my style fits tighter than a girdle"

oh wow a sensical line for once. shocking.

"if ya hate it then you can just leave it, like beaver"

okay we're back to nonsense. why is he talking about beavers. are beavers well known for leaving??? i again think this is just to rhyme with the next line but i also again think there's a better way to execute that-

"cuz in a day or two, i'll make you a true believer in me"

okay sure. another sensical line. even if it still doesn't have anything to do with beavers-

"'cause like the alphabet, you'll 'c'"

okay that's. actually a decent line for once. pff.

"that 'ism kicks a rhyme not your everyday soliloquy"

???

"like chef boyardee, my rhymes are truly cookin'"

chef boyardee literally makes canned food that requires next to no cooking. the singer is openly admitting that his rhymes are not, in fact, cooking and i love that.

"peace to matty rich, 'cause he's straight out of brooklyn, new york"

,,, yeah no i got nothing.

"i don't eat pork or swine when i dine"

good for you???

"i drink a cup of kool-aid, not a big glass of wine, or a henn, heine"

this is my favorite line honestly. the lyric is presumably actually meant to be referring to a beer called heineken, which was probably censored for copyright reasons but. they didn't bother trying to censor kool-aid-

"if you have time, then i'll drop rhyme again"

please don't.

[inkher0]

Okay let me start off my saying I'm reading origin and it's AMAZING Like wow ,from the writing to the interpretation of the characters everything's amazing.

Next ,why does Tim have so many bitches???

And I LOVE jack ,and how u made his character, like I understand his pain of being an Indian AND black, no one wants to talk to u much cuz' u either smell Like oil or how u eat food or because of ur accent ,like these bitches are culture phobic .

Now-a-days Indians r being noticed and stuff but back then it was a whole war zone for them man.

Plus Jack's so babaygirl .I love me some dorky nerdy guy obsessed with anime ,God knows why nobody hit that ,if it were me my boy would be so loved.

Thank you! Hindu was a big influence in some of the worldbuilding, so it made sense. Also my interpretation of Jack was based on real black men I've met, so if I resonated with you, I'm glad, because that means I was actually Listening to them.

As for why Tim has so many bitches- first off those are not his bitches, they're his girlfriends, and that's part of why so many girls like him! He's genuinely very respectful and sweet, so a lot of girls want to go out with him just because he's known to be a good date. He doesn't pressure them, doesn't demand their attention or time, doesn't scoff at them for being women. He genuinely likes them, and if he doesn't, he's at least trying to be polite. He's sex-positive but not creepy, confident but not domineering. When Proxy girls go from normal teenaged boys to him, the difference is a breath of fresh air. The fact he's Slenderman's vessel helps, too, because some of them think being "close" to him is how they get close to The Operator. He's also got autistic rizz and great hair, that goes a long way for him LMAO

Jack's a real lover boy too, he just surrounds himself with women who Know Him way too well lmao. He's pickier than Tim, too. Can't really kiss many girls if you're too busy Brooding Like A Badass in your room (playing Deus Ex Machina).

[callsign-rogueone]

Hi!

Question for you since I’ve been thinking about this and you were the first person I thought I’d ask.

Have we ever seen any of the Tyrrish kids actually speak their language?

I don’t think so cause I feel like it would probably be Xaden to Violet (maybe whispering sweet nothings to her?) and I would have definitely remembered that.

And…..now I really want to see our fourth wing rebellion boys talking in Tyrrish. (Especially to their girlfriends)

Okay last question/theory that’s pretty unlikely

Can Brennan speak Tyrrish?

I mean maybe the rebellion kids spoke it in Aretia?

and he picked up on it cause he was away for six years?

I don’t think so but…..maybe?

…Fine

I do have one more thing to say (last one I promise….for now)

I read the new aaric and sunny part!

Amazing!

I really loved the fact that you depicted her as someone who came from nothing vs cam being born in the lap of luxury, that’s going to be interesting.

we also got another perspective on the riders’ quadrant

As in it’s a way for sunny to make her life better and she sees it as that versus like say violet, who just saw it as a death sentence.

That made more sense in my head…..

anyway!

those are my very long thoughts…heh

Sending love (for some reason my heart emoji isn’t working so just imagine a heart here),

A (yes I’m the same one from yesterday)

hi lovie!! welcome back!

it’s confirmed that Xaden (177) and Brennan (345) speak it! so by extension I’m sure Bodhi does too, and most likely Garrick and Liam, etc etc.

I think they might not specify when they’re speaking in Tyrrish because it’s Violet’s thoughts / pov so she understands it and writes it all down in the same language (I believe that we’re basically reading her diary. when they go out into the woods with infantry and a scribe, she talks about the scribe notes being accurate down to exact quotes and conversations, and Vi has scribe training.)

I also can’t find it but I swear there’s a line somewhere that’s like “the assembly resume arguing in Tyrrish”. but that may have been from a fic I read/wrote. I tend to mix them up sometimes since it’s been ~6mo since I read both books.

as soon as I found out Bren speaks it, I was like… I’m giving you a Tyrrish wife that you’re going to rizz up by speaking to in a “dead language” (see “allies”). so a lot of his dialogue with Duchess is italicized, implying it’s in Tyrrish. you’ll get some “Tyrrish” words here and there as Dain picks some up for Love (👀) but I’ll translate those in the conversation, bc I’m not gonna make y’all copy-paste things into Google lol

and thank you!! I wanted to make Sunny his complete opposite in some way. I’m from a lower-income community in the states and a lot of kids here join the military to get out and start a stable life, so I took inspiration from that. I considered it myself, but I didn’t meet their health requirements. I’ve been falling apart at the seams for a while now. that’s one of the reasons I like Vi so much, because I relate to her being breakable 😅

love ya!! 💖

[tunahaswares]

- Lucien Flavius headcanons .

Lucien is book smart but absolutely not people smart. if you ask if he's flirting with you when he talks to you the first time, he stammers over his words and makes it sound *even worse*, which is so dorky and adorable to me. He knows a lot about history and random facts about the Dwemer, but he doesn't know how to adapt that knowledge to people. I mean, what he knows doesn't even begin to translate to socializing.

But he's still so naturally charismatic in a silly goofy way. He sings songs, does rhyming games with Inigo, tells you scary stories by the fire, etc etc. He has RIZZ he just doesn't know how to use it. or that it even exists.

(This man giggles and tells me I made him blush and I'M FUMBLING SO HARD IM TAKING SCREENSHOT AFTER SCREENSHOT- he did a little idle pose where he tilted his head and I squawked like a bird in shock.)

and his REACTION when you activate the lover stone.... whatever he says, he ends it with "not that I... ah..." like he's gonna say "not that I'm not interested in you!" or whatever. I forget the specifics of what he said, but he's saying the stone is better for the player and not for him, and is just generally embarrassed. I'd wager he's never been in a relationship before. He's always been study study study, books books books. And daydream daydream DAYDREAM.

Good lord his head's in the clouds sometimes. He's also confident in a weird way? Like he has self doubt, evident by how he asks Inigo "do you think I'm useful?". But when you kill your third dragon with him, he makes an off handed comment and calls your team "team Lucien". so he definitely has a fully fed ego from his very loving parents who gave him EVERYTHING. It's not like he ever asked his parents for dating advice, though. He never thought he'd need it!

So here he is, fumbling and turning bright red as he tries to convey his feelings.

"Well... you see, what I wanted to talk to you about was, I think I'm... No, I know I'm- would that even be the right word? I do really like you but can I even call it that? i-"

and he goes on and on. Can he say it? can he just say he's in love? isn't that a strong word?the poor guy is losing it.

I'ma just kiss him to shut him up fr fr

anyways.

He's totally a little spoon. He's barely even toned. Skinny and short, he needs to be protected and kept warm! Skyrim is a harsh land, very cold! He over thinks romantic gestures though. and affection.

He wants to hold your hand but "oooh is that okay? should he ask or would that be weird? but you're so stunning illuminated by the campfire... maybe he wants to kiss you instead - NO too much!" It gets him blushing just thinking about making a move like that!!!!

Oftentimes he will ask and need to be reassured he's doing the right thing by asking, or told he doesn't have to ask. depending on personal preference, ofc.

He's a darling angel. Don't worry, he gains confidence overtime! He can kiss you on the cheek and not feel like he's gonna explode! he still gets embarrassed, especially if you tease him over it.

"Aawww, still in love with me, Flavius?"

"Oh gods, not this again..."

You could never annoy him, even if his tone says otherwise. He gets frustrated being teased, but that's just overcooked embarrassment if you think abt it.

Loves pda but would never admit it... he feels comforted by it, just as long as it's not too much.

Hold his hand or wrap your arm around his waist. Bonus points if you do this while in windhelm. hates that fucking city, but LOVES showing u off to the Nords... look he's dating the fucking last dragonborn and ur not... who's the milk drinker now huh bitch???

Lucien loves to just relax after a long day. Reading to you is his favorite. He'll even try to cook dinner for the both of you if you're too tired after a whole days worth of preventing dragons from singing his ass.

As you fall asleep, head resting on his lap as he reads to you, Lucien will silently stroke your face and close his book.

And just… sit there. Admiring you. How did he ever get so lucky? You've saved him more time than he could count… He hopes his love is enough to repay you for that.

----------------

wrote this on discord in midst of a ramble lol. Y'all deserve it tho

[pastriibunz]

me and @local-soda-can are gonna start outlining Nerdy Prudes Must Die Kai soon and here are a few ideas I had for that

can you guys tell i love inserting Kai’s name into the titles???

Kai comes in before/after/during literal monster holding a map of the school (the police or something forcibly enrolled her and now she has to go to school) and she’s just completely confused and lost

Max does the whole “this is my hallway!!” thing and Kai’s like “fun fact I literally do not care” and he pisses her off so much she kicks him in the balls- she meets the rest of the prudes while on the run from various teachers who’re trying to expel her or something

Kai was in the Waylon Place night of the prank to try and relax and get away from the chaos of Hatchetfield. There isn’t a sign of anyone breaking in bc Kai knows how to pick locks. Kai hangs out there a lot.

She walks in on them looking at Max’s (almost) dead body and is like “woah you guys killed that guy!!! ö haha I’m gonna go call the cops on yall I’m OUT!!!”

…Grace then blackmails her into helping bury/hide the body because she threatens to pin everything on Kai (bc Kai breaks in and shit)

Theres this scene with max and kai im making into a comic that has something to do with snickers and it needs to be real because it’s silly and also it makes way for this idea:

Kai hangs out with Max’s ghost a lot and she vents to him about how much she hates the prudes, how she wants to get back to Unington, and other shit

They like sending videos to the prudes group chat (that Kai was forcibly added into) that make it seem like Max is about to kill Kai and she always texts the dumbest shit after like “phew!!! made it out okay!!! gee, let’s hope that doesn’t happen again!”

They laugh their asses off about it

Kai has no friends during the run of NPMD

she hates the prudes for getting her involved in a manslaughter/murder,

she has no clue if max is her friend or if he’s only keeping her around for the snickers bars,

And everyone else is too in love with afraid of her to even get near her

It kinda hurts but she’s learning to deal with it

KAI RIZZ KAI RIZZ KAI RIZZ

that shit is STRONG guys

she got that Wattpad MC rizz

she does not want it-

she is either oblivious to it or painfully aware

no in between

She’s been bunking with Paul

They met on the street and they talked for a bit and Kai was like “yeah my hotels about to kick me out lol” and he was like “oh you can stay with me”

He doesn’t know why he said that, maybe it was just meant to be.

Anyways Kai agreed and Paul is the biggest dad ever

He asks her how school was and he cooks dinner for them and they snuggle on the couch and have movie nights

They have to share a bedroom but he got her dividers and turned the bottom of the closet into a hangout nook for Kai so it’s like she has her own little room

everyone keeps dragging Kai everywhere by the wrist- she does NOT wanna be there-

Kai keeps talking to the audience in front of everyone and she interacts with the audience a lot

For example, she crumples up and tosses her map to someone in the audience and finger guns and winks at them afterwards

She gets like a gazillion love notes a day-

she gets so angry she just eats them-

nobody knows why and they’re just like:

“Aw she’s silly :]”

“I LITERALLY HATE ALL OF YOU”

“I’m soooo in love with her :3”

“IM GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU”

in the words of my pal:

“she’s so perfect :3333

(she is going to go feral-)”

All of Kai’s classes have at least one prude in them

Kai kinda wishes she had friends and tries to talk to people, but she’s so autistic, socially awkward, and anxious she either ends up shutting down, staying quiet, or insulting them

Kai goes to the sports games purely for the food and hides in the bathroom the entire time (the crowds and lights overstimulate her)

Kai hangs out at beanie’s a lot

She’s still Emma’s favorite customer.

She accidentally calls her Mom a lot.

Emma loves it every time.

It often goes uncorrected.

If Kai is alive for homecoming, she’s going there WAY overdressed-

she’s been homeschooled the majority of her life and has never been to a school dance-

she’s only been to like high class galas/parties so she thinks it’s like that

spoiler alert it is NOT

Kai is aware she’s in a musical

she really doesn’t wanna be in one but she knows

sometimes you can see her groovin uncomfortably to the music in the background

That’s all! Idk if I’m gonna script this one out as, like I’ve said before: TKWDLM has a special place in my heart and I’m not ready to move on

plus I’m still super hyperfixated on TKWDLM-

oki that’s all for now bye bye :3

[tiredassmage]

giggling and kicking my feet. oh i lOVE THESE!! thamk you for the tag @eorzeashan! <3

BOLD the FACTS

bothering the man, the myth, the legend, the og~ this will not stop me from wanting to do more blorbo. nor verses of blorbo.

PERSONAL

Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty

Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non-applicable

Twenty-some years (and counting) of intelligence work has its moments. While largely still ready for field work at a moment's notice, history with the Castellans and then Valkorian's influence don't play well with his habit of being a workaholic, nor his... equally bad habit of trying to work through headaches and occasional bouts of insomnia.

Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other

Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other

Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed

Nebulously, 'Cipher Nine' may or may not be connected to some of his work, but the fact that he's still among the Republic's 'most wanted' does imply a slight lack of proof. Or ability to actually bring him in. (And maybe there's still a part of him that's amused by it and maybe just a smidgen proud about it, okay?) We're also not talking about the implied treason. If the Empire ever caught his, ah. Affiliations. :))

FAMILY

Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children

The slightly shorter answer is he hasn't. thought about it a lot, but he'd like to, when it crosses his mind. It's the Shelter Dog Rizz (TM) and also that this man has a mentor streak a country mile wide and just doesn't have a lot of opportunities to realize it. Ough, which version of events? xD When this idiot finally retires, there are two daughters whom he will definitely build blanket forts with and "accidentally" teach Huttese swears and insults to because they argued Hyroh didn't know, etc. etc. [Sunasa grows up too fast and will always be his baby girl and Kas is going to be taller than him and completely capable of breaking arms by herself and he's going to worry about both of them. Forever.]

Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased

Tyr, your complicated family ties. Tyr has no biological siblings, but his adopted sister, Mavis, and him haven't spoken since before his time in the Academy and they were almost always more antagonistic than not. I wouldn't be surprised if they never referred to each other as siblings. They more so just. happened to grow up in the same household.

Affiliation: orphaned / abandoned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable

Again, complicated, lmao. The official story is orphaned and adopted. The actual story is... given up in an effort to protect him from the trappings of life as an intelligence operative. [Sorry, Keeper. You tried.]

TRAITS & TENDENCIES

♦ extroverted / introverted / in-between

♦ disorganized / organized / in-between

♦ close-minded / open-minded / in-between

♦ calm / anxious / in-between / highly contextual

♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in-between

Tyr has. always flirted with the line between respectful and 'with all due respect, which is none' blatancy. He knows he can't outright bite the hands on the leash. Doesn't usually mean he's entirely pleased with complacency.

♦ cautious / reckless / in-between / highly contextual

I was going to give him cautious, but this man is incredibly ride or die. When he says, I'll do anything for you, try not to test. how far he'll go about that. It's damn pretty far.

♦ patient / impatient / in-between

♦ outspoken / reserved / in-between / highly contextual

Again, he. flirts with the edge. Depends on who he's around.

♦ leader / follower / in-between

♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in-between

♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in-between

♦ traditional / modern / in-between

His taste on how intelligence work should be handled - with field operatives trusted to do their job has historically gotten him in, ah. arguments. He's of an older guard in that way and he knows it and he's not keen to let anyone forget it. But as far as Imperial policy is concerned... Well, that's what a little treason can be good for the soul for. Maybe. You didn't hear that from him.

♦ hard-working / lazy / in-between

♦ cultured / uncultured / in-between / unknown

♦ loyal / disloyal / in-between / unknown

Loyal like a fucking dog - to actual ride or die levels. To people more than anything else. And, yes, to that... slightly more idealistic streak in him that's there no matter how much he tries to mask it in realism.

♦ faithful / unfaithful / in-between / unknown

In the spiritual sense? Not particularly. Again, loyal like a dog. Faithful to his found family pack His People to the bitter end.

BELIEFS

Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic

Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking

(Unfortunately, verified by experience.)

Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking

Something about the persistence of spirits would suggest it, but he's got plenty enough to wrangle with the living. That bridge can be crossed when or if they arrive upon it.

Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking

Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

free giggle in star wars here

Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious

Philosophical: yes / no / highly contextual

In a manner of speaking? While perhaps not a readily apparent trait, Tyr tends to enjoy learning. It's a heart or core of what he'd describe of his work as an intelligence operative: learning about people, places, beliefs as big as how to organize society and as small as that merchant is a rip-off. Ideals are far more important to him than I believe he realizes.

SEXUALITY & ROMANCE

Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual

Sex: sex-repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless

Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious

Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious

A skill in an intelligence toolkit has offered him experience, but he's a bit less experienced in pinpointing exactly what he genuinely likes - experiments he is... rather favorable to exploring.

Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

ABILITIES

Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

HABITS

Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / rarely / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic

Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker

Recreational Drugs: tried some / never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict / former addict

Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess

Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / rarely / sometimes / frequently / binge eater

Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic

Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gamble

I will. almost certainly return to do more blorbos. I love these things kdfnlsadfn

No pressure tags as always/I am so sorry if you have already gotten one and I have not seen it/open invitation to join in if you like etc etc thank you for coming to my TED talk @captainderyn @commander-krios @fatewalker-phoenix

[eviefrie]

Okay so I see your TLT to Archive Undying prop, I see you know/read at least some of Baru - how would you sell me (a diehard Baru girlie ride or die, that's my autism rizz failgirlboss, my beloved) on Archive?

*if you have the time/interest/spoons*

oooh this was. a tricky one. bc. can i tell you a secret:

i didn't finish the traitor baru cormorant! i didn't like it enough! i can see how ppl would like it but the combo of the slow pacing + that particular brand of dark content just wasn't for me. & that's ok! but it does mean that i didn't feel fully equipped to answer this question on my own.

so after consulting w my local baru expert @urban-sith, i have come to present you with these conclusions:

both books rely a lot on the reader's ability to keep up with the worldbuilding. if you like picking up pieces of facts about a world and adding them to your little mental file, the archive undying is a book you will enjoy.

making an educated guess on this one, bc ire isn't texting me back fast enough: rereading is a value add for both books. like you will fully get Mileage out of archive, as i am guessing one does out of baru.

sunai, the protag and primary pov character of archive, is not so much baru cormorant as he is tain hu. self-sacrificing. kind of silly. disaster gay. spoiler: he does have a happier ending than tain hu does. low bar, that.

some differences that may or may not be selling points!:

archive takes a very locked tomb approach to gender & sexuality. there's a couple non-binary characters in the book and it's treated VERY normally. one of them has a gun.

time passing is much less obvious in archive? like weeks at a time are skipped over during traveling, but in such a way that it's easy to miss. it's mostly revealed in the sunai & veyadi talk to each other—the dialogue between them really landed for me as "two people who know each other well having a conversation".

related to that: so many things happen in archive. the pacing is INSANE. i find it fun, but if you liked baru's pacing you may think it feels rushed.

something to note is. well. seth is a white man. and not saying that white men can't write well about empires and imperialism/colonialism, but it's not like he's experienced colonization himself. emma mieko candon, on the other hand, is 4th generation japanese in hawaii. imperialism is a background theme in archive compared to baru cormorant, but i felt that its understanding of how empires and imperial states can layer on top of each other was much more nuanced.

no one in baru cormorant buys a chicken to use as an alarm system.

i hope this helps!!! even if i didn't sell you fully i hope u feel enabled to make an informed choice 🥰

[sapphosdickandballs]

I want 10 facts about Maya and Jack on my desk NOW (please <3)

Oh boy okay 👍

Maya-

She is constantly moving, even just a little bit. Always tapping her foot or swaying. She also paces a lot, it helps her think.

If she were in a marching band she’d be a saxophone. Cause she’s annoying (fight me saxs!)

When she gets angry she doesn’t really get angry. Or upset. Or ect. She doesn’t really feel a lot of big feelings, she shoves them down instead (Repress it!) so she’s just often irritated.

She turns into a kid around bubbles. Literally a toddler just chasing them around.

Her skin is just a little thicker than human’s skin, which keeps her insulated and warm

she’s the kind of person that’ll hop up and down when her song comes on. You best believe she’s yelling lyrics at the top of her lungs.

I think I told you this but she definitely listens to Billie eilish and girl in red.

She is definitely the type of person to say sigma/rizz/skibidi etc in the middle of a conversation. And then just keep going

She’s the kind of person who has a lot of misspellings and mistakes within her text messages. Irl if she could misspell things she would

She likes to think of herself as more of a moon person, but when she’s with people she loves she’s definitely a sun.

Jack -

Texting him would be a bit confusing cause he talks very formal over text. If it’s communication where he can control what he says he’s triple checking everything

he does this - a lot at the end of messages. It irritates the fuck out of Maya.

He constantly thinks he’s sick. He’s a vampire, they rarely get sick. But he’s constantly thinking he’s sick anyway.

When he gets debilitatingly anxious he counts. Over and over. Sometimes he’ll do it on his hands more often he’ll count mentally. It helps him calm down at least a little.

He’s a math guy for sure. Math or science is his favorite school subject (couldn’t be me)

He’d be a flute, probably. He’s kinda fussy about things so. I feel like he’d like being a flute.

He gets crushes easily and loses them easily, and it’s hard for him to discern what’s a crush and what’s platonic interest.

He loves reading. He likes the escape, diving into a book to be another person for a while.

In that same vein, he probably likes adventure books the best. He’d never say this, but he also likes those trashy romance novels.

No one ever thinks he’s anxious when he is, he doesn’t have a lot of physical tics.

[pineappleciders]

Hi there! First of all, I want to say I love your art! You have a very cute style. Second of all, if it's okay with you, can we get some headcanons for the RW Omori gang (plus Mari) on their reactions to the reader (their crush) liking someone else? Even if you ignore this, thanks for reading it! :)

-🪐

A/N: thank you so much!! i hope you have a good day/night :))

RW OMORI gang (SUNNY, KEL, AUBREY, HERO, BASIL, and MARI) and their reactions to G/N reader liking somebody else headcanons

slight angst/hurt warning

SUNNY

he'd be super sad but he wouldn't really show it

in fact, he'd talk to you the next day as if nothing happened and he never liked you at all

he hates himself for it but he can't help but hold a but of resentment for the person you like

he understands though, he doesn't like himself so he doesn't expect anyone else to

he still has feelings for you but he tries to push them away,, it's still painfully obvious to anyone else though

KEL probably notices and once he asks about it, SUNNY gets all emotional and rants to him about the person you like

overall it'll probably take a huge hit at his mental health but he copes by like,,, making your headspace counterpart like him back (kind of like with aubrey?? again he hates himself for it but it's his only way to cope without MARI to talk to)

KEL

he'll probably laugh it off like usual

he's hurt but he expected it. i think he has a low self-esteem but doesn't show it

he still talks to you like normal, but if the topic of your crush ever gets brought up he tries to change the conversation or just stop talking altogether

he does hope you two get together for your happiness, but the voice in the back of his head curses your crush (he feels terrible for it and shakes the thought away)

he unknowingly tries to spoil you sometimes, like showing up at your door with food or just getting you stuff

he doesn't really think about it, it just happens (and if someone points it out he gets embarrassed and stops)

he definitely gets jealous and is heartbroken but he pushes it away and acts fine. your friendship will continue normally if you don't like him back, after all he is an expert on pretending like everything is okay!!

AUBREY

her first reaction is to kind of scoff

she isn't angry at you, she's angry at herself for thinking she had a chance

she might avoid you for a few days after, because she's embarrassed and she doesn't know how to take it

eventually she gathers herself together and starts talking to you again. she might be a little more on edge around people though

she's upset, but she doesn't let it show. she knew it was coming, it always does. she doesn't know why she keeps expecting things when all that comes is disappointment

she still kind of tries to rizz u up but stops herself because she doesn't want to cross any boundaries. by rizz i mean taking you places or holding your hand

again kind of angry at your crush but she doesn't hate them or anything. she doesn't think it's anyones fault but her own

overall?? she suffers in her own mind for a bit but gets over it after awhile. she still talks to you and you guys are still best friends, she just pushes her feelings for you down as far as they can go

HERO

he's pretty upset but he pushes it down,, that's what him and KEL were taught to do when they were sad

some days it might take him a little while to get out of bed. his health has decreased after his depression following MARI's death, but his routine gets just a tad slower after he realizes you don't like him back

he wants to think he'll never find true love again. the rejection hurt even worse because this was the only time since the loss of his girlfriend that he truly liked someone, and just as fast as it started, it ended

still talks to you a lot and gives you gifts. in fact, people on the outside might even think you're dating with how much he spoils you

despite his very obviously romantic advances, he tried to convince himself and everyone that it's not like that at all and that you're just friends

he isn't truly lying, after all. you are just friends. but his subconscious is still trying to claw onto any sort of love he can get

BASIL

he chuckles awkwardly and leaves to go cry

similar to AUBREY, he didn't know why he thought he had any chance of you liking him back

he has an attachment to you, romantically or not, so no matter how hard he tries to push his feelings away they always come back when he sees your smile

he gives you flowers from his garden and takes more photos of you. not in a creepy way, it's really the only way to cope for BASIL. to reassure himself that you aren't leaving.

even if it isn't romantic, even if it involves no love, he is by your side, and you're sure to remind him that

he'll pretend everything is fine, but acts a little more jittery around you

then when he gets home at night he cries himself to sleep (not unusual for BASIL)

probably talks to POLLY (or AUBREY post good ending) about the situation, and they'll comfort him and give him advice

although AUBREY just might try to hit it into his skull that you don't like him back

he bottles up his emotions and lets them spill out when he's alone. if you ask him what's wrong or if your tone of voice changes, he's hugging you and crying into your shoulder

he wouldn't dare utter a word implying his feelings of anguish about you, no no. he can't have you worry or feel bad.

MARI

similar to KEL, she'll pretend like nothing happened

she's definitely sad, and might even talk to SUNNY or HERO for advice (for clarification in an AU in which hero and mari are not dating..... to make it make sense)

she accepts it. she's heartbroken, but she'd rather die than push you or cross your boundaries, or show any weakness, so she ignores it and moves on.

of course, every once in awhile, if you and your crush were dating, she'd see you two together and definitely feel some frustration bubble up

but she can't let it show. she'd be an asshole for getting mad at you for dating someone, or resenting your partner. MARI understands.

she understands that she isn't perfect. she knows she isn't a great partner. she doesn't blame you, really.

you two continue your friendship, close like nothing went on. but deep down, MARI has so many emotions that she can't keep in for long.

who knows when it's going to spill out?

[sol-consort]

God that vibration in a Turians voice is what made me realize that “oh Garrus IS hot” in Mass Effect 2 because I liked him in 1 but didn’t think he was hot yet. I must’ve been too focused on trying not to romance someone in 1 which I almost failed at. Also I know that people have already said this out of the blue but I do hope you’re okay, you’re a cool dude who makes dope stuff even if I don’t comment which I should and pretty much the reason I’m still somewhat active on tumblr now

I feel out of the loop because I am desperately trying to find ME2 Garrus hot but something about how dismissive and distant he is puts me off. No like I tottally get it you've been through a lot BUT I WAS DEAD.

I LITERALLY WAS DEAD FOR 2 YEARS AND ALL HE HAS TO SAY "oh Shepard it's you." FUCK YOU MAN I WAS GOING IN FOR A HUG.

I haven't done his loyalty mission yet so maybe he will warm up on me eventually. Idk no strong opinions on romance so far except for the theif girl but she already has someone so I am fucked.

I was fully planning on cheating on Kaidan here.

I imported my ME1 save and the game currently has me flagged in Kaidan's romance because his picture is in my bedroom. It's supposed to turn down when I cheat on him and he will confront me about it in ME3

But now. I can't find anyone fuckable. Even Garrus who I was down bad for because of the stars in his eyes literally became batman 2.0 and is blasting my chemical romance from the back of the ship but no one wants to confront him about it and instead hope the phase ends soon.

Jacob is. Jacob lacks rizz. Jacob makes me feel like I'm sexually harrassing him because of how uncomfortable he seems whenever I pick a romance option. I actually had to google if he was romance-able just to make sure I wasn't doing anything wrong.

Who's left huh????? Who's dick I supposed to suck in order to get my shepard a malewife??

There is Liara. Liara is always fucking there standing in the corner. Ruining my Kaidan romance and tricking me into her romance like some kind of fae.

I hope the Garrus fever infects me soon too because it looks like I will end up staying loyal to Kaidan against my will. That man probably spent the two years after Shepard's death to make sure all men in the galaxy are unfuckable and all hot women are straight, just on the off chance Shepard comes back to life and tries to get some.

I mean he isn't wrong, Shepard flirted with him while on the job and while being his captain, he knows his commander will flirt with their co-works without any shame so why even take the risk?

God I miss Ashley.

On other news, I keep meeting Turians I want to fuck. Who are not an option to fuck. It's a twisted irony of fate because I keep refusing Garrus.

Also I'm starting to regret the fact I made Anderson the council. He seems really sad, but man it felt great watching Udina get told to fuck off.

Is he happier if he doesn't become the council? What choice did you make? Does he become something else then or do we even get to meet him?

And it is funny how all of this is your fault. I wouldn't have installed Mass effect or gave it a chance wasn't it for you ask a long while back. I would've let it rot in my library for a year then finally gave it a chance.

You stole my bg3 obsession and replaced it with mass effect! How dare you! I am very thankful you introduced me to this because I never realised how fun fps can be. I even bought another fps on sale today, called hellsinger.

But it is really freaky how much such a small thing like sending an ask detoured my life so much and changed my interests. It's a whole new side I wasn't even aware of its existence.

Thank you, genuinely. But I have learned my lesson and won't fall to your tricks twice. I'm not even gonna search up that other game you recommend until after I finish mass effect. Just in case it turns out to be jaw dropping too.

But the director ME2 took in gameplay isn't my favourite. I'm too squishy and the enemies are too squishy now. I can't be a cool sniper jumping from place to place and headshoting enemies. Now I have to hide behind fucked up barriers and wait for the enemy to reload or use my invisibility then I go in for the snipe.

The weapon feels more limited too, I get that they made them more unique but I prefer having the stats menu more. I only have two snipers so far and I hate both of them but I'm forced to use one because there are so little options.

It feels more resident evil-ish? Or maybe because I'm on veteran difficulty? I tried lowering it but it doesn't fix the issue.

My problem isn't that the enemies are dying too fast my problem is that I am dying too fast. I hate the new points system and level up too, I miss the more detailed one in ME1. I also loath the hacking minigames in here.

The dialogue and animations improved a lot tho, the missions diversity too! The heist one was such a blast I felt like I was in a movie. It was so cheesy and cliche in a very endearing way oh my god.

I like my Shepard but I miss their face scar. Why did they remove that option? I had it in like a cool reminder of the blitz or something.

Also if you pick earthborn you get these two wholesome newsrports

And this one for War hero

They made me smile. But also wtf people are having WEDDINGS on MY memorial??? GET OFF MY STATUE.

I also wished that people would've had a bigger reaction to us showing up alive, yk? Not even a hug so far. Even Anderson :(

But yeah that's all for now.

And I appreciate it dude, checking up on me. You're cool too. And about the comments, I can't exactly force you to do it, I can't force anyone, it's just a choice they make everyday.

But I am curious because I never thought you were one of my readers. You don't leave likes on my writing posts, and you have only sent one or two requests so long ago. You do like my writing advice and opinions sometimes. Is that why you follow me? Because I'm funny ofc.

But nah don't tell me. I don't wanna know, it will ruin the mystery. I pay attention to the posts each person who frequents here likes, and I get a general idea of their preference. Sometimes, I can predict which posts will be liked by who and which will be ignored by others. It's a fun minigame. Humans love patterns.

But yeah. I don't want random comments on stories or fics you haven't read or finished. I want them from the people who read and liked the story. I want to hear their opinion I want to know what they thought. But if you are dinning and dashing then...again I can't force to do anything. It just makes me sad really.

I like talking, but not about myself or feelings. I am the way I am, flaws and all and I don't have to explain it. This cycle will repeat, I might give up tomorrow, I might not, I can't predict the future. One day my thread will eventually snap.

But not today, I'm still working on fics, I am still posting. I'm not giving up yet.

And I hope this inspires you in any way since you're back to writing, I hope that you don't give up too no matter how scary quiet it gets. I hope you're more resilient than me. I hope you love what you write because it is very deserving of love.