#Oh god even better scamp

[jonathanbyersphd]

Very important question:

If Hopper calls El kid and he calls Will buddy, what is Jonathan's fun nickname going to be?

[three--rings]

You Should Watch The Spirealm/致命游戏

What is it?

A 2024 cdrama based on the danmei webnovel Kaleidoscope of Death. It's a censored version of a BL novel, with thriller, mystery, and horror aspects, 38 45-minute episodes.

What's it about?

A young man accidentally gets drawn into a virtual reality video game that involves passing tests in a series of doors. Once you start playing, you cannot stop and if you die in the game, you die in real life. He meets a frustratingly mysterious, competent, and attractive man in the doors who recruits him to be part of his game solving team. Well, specifically to be his partner. Lots of gay subtext ensues as they fight through door after door seeking to get to the final door in order to end the evils of the game. (The book is a little different, as it's more supernatural.)

So basically it's a infinite flow deadly game situation, with m/m romance.

Main Characters:

Lin Quishi/Ling Juishi (novel/drama versions of his name)- Our protagonist. A smart graduate in computer science, good at games. Well meaning but a little naive to start out.

Ruan Nanzhu/Ruan Lanzhu - Our love interest. In the novel he crossdresses often and he presents as a woman for the whole first arc. Super intelligent, expert at the game, extremely flirty but reserved at the same time. Got one look at Lin Quishi and said That One.

Other Characters, aka the Found Family:

Ruan Nanzhu's team consists of a pair of twin brothers (one young and dumb and one uptight), a hot doctor vet, a woman whose main job seems to be cooking dinner, and a not-so-stable dude.

Then there's Li Dong Yuan, a rival player who becomes reluctantly-tolerated friend, and his cute female assistant. And Tan Zao Zao, an actress who hires the team to help her in the games and also sticks around persistently.

They're pretty much all delightful and some may start off silly/annoying and end up breaking the hell out of your heart.

Okay, but what's the VIBE?

Big Guardian vibes. The team of lovable scamps investigating weird supernatural (?) type mysteries? While the boss and the guy he fell for have a situationship? Totally. This definitely has more of a horror feel than Guardian, though, even though they tone things down from the novel.

Each door is its own setting, and some are more scary than others. So one is a mental hospital, one is a traditional village, one is a gothic manor, etc. Lots of tragic female ghosts who have been wronged and are getting revenge. The one that really creeped me out was the one with the children with the eggs. It does a lot of creepy rather than really horror. It's not truly gory at all, as it was made to air on Chinese TV and they have strict limits to violence.

The camerawork and set decor is really nice, actually. It looks great most of the time and a lot of the effects seem to be practical. It looks a lot better than Guardian is what I'm saying, if not quite to a film level.

How Gay is It?

Oh MY GOD. Okay look, this show was NOT supposed to be released, but thank whoever put it up for that two hours. It's really incredibly blatant, like really as much as Word of Honor was, although because the plot is focused elsewhere it's maybe not quite as in your face. But the actors UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT and there's so much longing and SO much implication. After a while, everyone basically just treats the main couple as a couple even thought it's never talked about.

I mean episode one there's Only One Bed and at the end of their first meeting Ruan Nanzhu gives Lin Quishi a RING. I mean, the flirting is also BLATANT. I also just find this a really romantic show, despite the Not Talking About It thing.

Is it a Happy Ending?

So, It's Complicated. I'm trying not to spoil anything and this show is pretty easy to have spoiled for you. There's definitely a good bit of tragedy in this show in general. Characters die and it's really sad. Like, this is a plot with stakes and if no one we liked ever died, it wouldn't be the same.

I will say I consider this show to have a happy ending, but you do go through some pain first. Essentially the main couple does have a separation, but there is a reunion before the end. There's also a scene that will give Guardian fans fucking PTSD, but the show does a fix-it on its own, okay? I do feel that I have to warn for that, though.

Where can I watch it?

The show is legally available on Viki with a subscription. Obviously there are other ways to find it as well, and links went around before it was picked up by Viki so check tags if you need those.

I really hope this encourages some people to watch this show, as it's really well made and a great time. It's one of a very small number of danmei adaptations we've gotten, but a lot less people have watched it since it's modern and had a weird release. Honestly, it's well written and acted and filmed and you should give it a shot.

(All gifs by @ruanbaijie, thank you very much for allowing me to use them. Check out their blog, there's such gorgeous stuff there!)

[imomnba-x07]

EPISODE 3 BABYYYY

DIDNT THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE TO TOP THE PREMIER EPISODES BOY WAS I WRONG

- Percy choosing Annabeth to be on the quest because he was so scared one of his friends would betray him so he chose someone he “can’t stand” oooooooohhhhh this is cinema

- The Oracle taking the form of Gabe????? Such an interesting choice lmao (completely forgot this happened in the book too till I watched it again)

- Annabeth and Percy not getting along for even a second my god we are in for the best Enemies to Friends to Lovers (but we already knew that)

- Annabeth not being able to read the candy and choosing all of them ughhhhhhhh my little dyslexic baby that was such a good way to show it

- Annabeth confronting the furies? She’s so brave I could never

- Grover’s friendshsip/ problem solving song 😭😭😭😭😭😭 this sweet poor baby is so stressed keeping the team together

- MEDUSAAAA

- love what they changed about Medusa’s story and gave us more reasons to understand a certain someone’s anger at the gods and betrayal at the end of the season

- Annabeth using her hat to shield medusas eyes was GENIUS holy fuck what a fucking play oh my god

- Percy using the song against Grover omfg I love them

- They truly could not have chosen a better cast for our main trio I’m so fucking proud of them omfg

- The contrast of me screaming “LETS GOOOOOOO” and my friends screaming in pure anguish when Lin Manuel Miranda showed up at the end (I like being a goofy scamp)

Even better than the first 2 episodes, didn’t even know that would be possible I’m so fucking happy rn this is everything I’ve ever wanted and more

2000000/10

[magma-queen]

Archie proposing to Maxie! 🥰

Oooooo yes!! That sounds adorable! Here you go, friend! <3

It was unexpected of Archie to suddenly tell him that they were going on a vacation to Alola.

“But.. how come?” The redhead questioned. “We don’t usually plan a trip until summer.”

It was October.

Archie tried to ease his suspicions. “Babe, it’s our 5th anniversary! Don’t ye remember?”

“Oh god- of course!” He smacked his head in frustration. “Please forgive me. I’ve been working so much lately and I-“

He shut Maxie up with a kiss.

“Mmm~”

“Mmmhmhmhm~”

Maxie then broke the kiss for a moment and looked at his boyfriend. “But, we have a little girl with us now. If you were planning a dinner or something-“

“Tabitha, Matt, Courtney, and Shelly are coming with us. It’s their anniversaries too, y’know. They can watch Sierra while we have a night to ourselves.”

“I’m acting like our daughter is a burden… trust me, she’s far from it. I hope you understand that.”

Archie guffawed. “Oh Max, c’mon now. I know ye better than that. I know ye love our little girl. But I need someone to watch her while I take ye out to dinner one night.”

“Oh, Archie~ You really don’t need-“

“Ah Ah! Yes I do, snookums. *kiss* It’s all for ye, baby. For us.”

Maxie smiles and cups Archie’s face in his hands. “I love you.”

“I love ye too, Max. I know all of us are gonna have a great time.”

Around 2 months later, The 7 of them boarded onto a ship to sail for the Alola region. It took around 2 days for them to get there, so once they did, they booked a big hotel room on Poni island for all of them.

“Wow, this place looks amazing!” Matt exclaimed, his arm around Tabitha’s shoulder. “I hope we get a room aaaaall to ourselves~” He chuckles, smirking seductively at his husband.

“For god’s sake, Matt.” Tabitha blushes, looking away. “We have a child here!” He giggles when Matt kisses his cheek.

“Yeah, all of us have a room.” Archie explains, picking his daughter up. “And our little emerald will sleep with us!”

“Papa! Papa! You said you would teach me how to swim, right?”

He smiles and nuzzles her face with his beard, making her giggle. “Of course I will, me little scamp! Yer uncle Matt and yer auntie Shelly will too! Right, guys?”

“Of course we will.” Shelly smiles, motioning Archie to hand Sierra over to her. “I’ll teach you to swim like a pretty mermaid, how would you like that?”

“Uh huh! You really will, auntie?”

“Awww, you know I will, kiddo!” Then smirks at her wife. “And your auntie Courtney will too, right babe?”

She went wide eyed, Shelly knows good and well she doesn’t like to swim. “Umm-“ She cut herself off, looking at her goddaughter’s eyes plead to her. “Of c-course! Of course, sweetheart.” She smiles, petting Sierra’s head.

Shelly handed her back to her dads, and they split into their rooms. Not much later, they all had dinner together.

“Now, Sierra. Your papa and I are going to dinner by ourselves tomorrow night.” Maxie told her. “Your aunts and uncles are going to be watching you while we’re out.”

“But daddy… why can’t I go with you and papa?” She asked.

Tabitha took the conversation over. “Your daddies have some adult things that they need to take care of, sweetie. But don’t worry, the four of us will be with you until they get back.”

She smiled. “Okay.” She turned back to her daddies. “Please don’t have too much fun without me.”

“Oh, never.” Maxie chuckled, kissing her forehead.

The next evening, Archie and Maxie left together and headed towards a particularly fancy restaurant on another island in Alola.

“I can tell that you’ve been keeping something from me~” Maxie teases, watching Archie’s face redden. “What’s with all the fancy trips and expensive restaurants, dear? It’s only our 5th anniversary.”

“Well…” He muttered sheepishly. “You’ll see soon, baby. I promise. I want to take you somewhere special after dinner.”

“Okay, I’m looking forward to it~”

Once they were finished with dinner, Archie took Maxie towards a big beach nearby the restaurant.

“Beautiful sight, isn’t it?” Archie asked.

“Oh yes. He is.” Maxie said back, watching Archie’s face and ears turn red. “It’s beautiful.”

“So are ye, Max. Listen.. we’ve been dating for 5 years now, and… there’s something I really wanna ask ye.”

His eyes went wide, knowing what was about to happen next. “Arch-“

He knelt down on one knee, and he held a small, black box in his hands. “Max… yer the one and only man in my life that has made me the happiest I could ever feel.. and I wanna spend the rest of my life with ye..”

He covered his mouth, tears dotting the corners of his eyes. “A-Archie..”

“Maxie Matsubasa… love of my life, will ye make me the happiest man on earth? Will ye marry me?” He asked, looking up at his lover with a gleam in his eyes.

The other man couldn’t hold in his tears anymore. He took his glasses off and slowly nods his head. “Yes! Y-yes! Yehehehes!” He cried out, then being scooped up into Archie’s arms after having the engagement ring put on his finger. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you!”

“I love ye, baby.. forever and always.” Archie smiles, holding him close as he cried. “No tears, Max.. only love and happiness~”

“I-I’m just s-so happy- *sob* I didn’t know y-you were going to do this! I.. I simply don’t deserve you.”

Archie grins and kisses his cheek. “Oh stop that~ Of course ye do. *kiss* I love ye, Maxie.” His kisses trail down to the base of his neck.

“Aha-! *snort* Archie-! That tickles! Wahahahait-! Hehehehehehehe!” He giggles as the kisses continued. “Stohohohohop ihihihihihihihihit! *snort* my neck ihihihis ticklish!”

“Mmmm~ if I get to hear those sweet giggles during this wonderful moment, then I can take any revenge ye give me. *kiss*” His hands get clingy and wrap around his torso.

He let out a big snort. “AHAH! Archie plehehehease! Thehehehe moment’s behehehing ruhuhuined!”

“Nah~ it’s not, love. I love hearing ye laugh~ *kiss* but not as much as I love ye.”

“Cheeheheheeheesy bahastard~” Maxie giggles, trying to squirm out of the ticklish grip.

“Oh, that’s it!” Archie clung to him and picked him up, bridal style. “Now yer gonna get it!” He practically smothered his face and neck in kisses.

“Hehehehehehey! Ahahah- put mehehehe down! Ahahahahrchie-! Stop- hahah- thahat tihihihickles!”

“Nope. *kiss* Gotta practice for our wedding day, honey. I’m gonna spoil ye rotten~ *kiss kiss* because ye deserve every moment of attention and lovin’s I give ye~”

He practically carried him the entire way back to their hotel room. Everyone was shocked to see the redhead being carried in Archie’s arms.

“What in the world?” Shelly cackled.

Sierra smiles at them. “Papa is so strong!”

“Hehehehe- He won’t put me down!” The magma leader giggles as Archie nuzzles him with his beard. “Archie! Hehehehee- your beard!”

“Guess what, everyone? Max and I are getting married!” Archie announced, making everyone stand up from their seats.

“About time!” Matt guffawed, clapping his hands.

“About time is right!” Tabitha added. “You two have been together for 5 years! We were worried that one of you would never pop the big question!”

Courtney giggles. “So, who proposed?”

Maxie was too flustered to say anything, he still kept his hands over his face.

Archie cackles. “Awww, he’s flustered. *kiss* I did. And he said yes! Ain’t my man the cutest?”

“Archie PLEASE.” He tries to stop his giggling, but he can’t. He’s just too happy not to. He had NO clue that Archie was doing this.

Sierra ran up to them. “You guys are getting married? But papa, I thought you and daddy were already married!”

“Hehe, we sure acted like we were already married, didn’t we?” He smiles and looks down to her. “But it’s true, sweetheart. We are getting married. How would ye like to be the flower girl at the wedding?”

She gasps. “Really? I can?”

“Well, of course my little emerald!” He sets Maxie down and she gets up on his shoulders. “Yer our little girl, so we’d love to have ye be the flower girl.”

Maxie stood up on his feet and stood next to them, not able to get the happy grin off his face. “Archie, I love you.”

“Awww, I love ye too, babe.” Archie smiles, putting an arm around him.

Sierra soon got sleepy, leaning on Archie’s shoulder. They celebrated the engagement later that evening after putting Sierra to bed. There was plenty of wine and laughter.

“Seriously though, congrats on the engagement, you two.” Shelly laughed. “We’re all so happy for you.”

Everyone else agreed.

“Thanks, Shell.” Archie smiles, holding his red headed fiancé close. “I couldn’t be happier to be here with my Max.” *kiss.*

His face turns red with a blush. “Archie~ I couldn’t be happier either. I love you.”

“I love ye more.”

He reached up and kissed his cheek. “I love you, the most.”

Matt chuckled and coughed out “cheesy”, making everyone cackle, but not too hard, since their little girl was fast asleep.

[stevenbasic]

Growing into the Job, Post 390: Cat n Mouse, p1

He looked like a baby deer, standing there in my bedroom, wide eyed and haha anything but innocent the little gremlin. 

“Have you been snooping?” I scolded, watching the power in my voice basically blowing my bra right off his face and make him take a step or two backwards, letting it fall to the floor. I was trying to sound funny, casual, playful but I’d felt my energy building building building all through my workout and tho it was sposed to relax me now haha I was like ready to nnngh blow up. And then seeing him with my bra on his face? Fucking adorable. It made me swell up even more. The poor little man needed my perfumes to keep himself from getting sick - woops! I forgot all about that, how he needs me -  and I guess there’d been enough of me in that white underwire I’d worn a couple days ago. So, he’d put it on his face to breathe, just so he could have a hint of my scent. S’okay. Now you get the real thing little boy. 

He took a step back, seeing me, his eyes huge and confused. 

“M-M-Melissa…oh my g-god…” he stammered, seeming to forget for the moment what I’d just caught him doing. Instead, he was worried about how I looked. “Y-y-you’re huge.”

I love when he stutters like that, trying to speak to me. “Oh, you noticed,” I smiled, stepping now into the bedroom…and watching him take another step back. He bumped into the shelf. A candle toppled over, and he panicked quickly trying to catch it, but it fell to the ground and knocked over one of the pictures of him I’d framed. Clumsy little monkey. I mean, I guess I can’t blame him. After my workouts I tend to bulge up, like a lot. My muscles swell up like crazy, making me look enormous. And as I came closer to him, I felt them all growing bigger still, vibrating, urging me to just reach out and grab him. 

And I did. 

I reached out my arms, to take him into a hug, but the stinker ducked and got underneath them. He quickly darted to the side, away from me.

“Jay-yyyyyy..?” I sang, turning towards him again, “What are you doinggg?” I sounded crazy like a crazy lady but haha who cares. 

“I, uhhh…” he sputtered, looking this way and that. Guhh it was so cute! Suddenly he darted to his right, but  I was quicker. I cut him off with a single step. He hesitated, backing away again. 

“I’m uh…”

You’re trying to get away from me you little scamp. “C’mere I just want to hold you,” I said, crouching down for to snatch the bra off of the ground that he’d had over his face. I took another step towards him but nnn hahaha he just kept running away. “What is up with uuuu hahahaha? Are u afraiiid of me? Afraid of what you did?”

“I-I ummmm-” he began. 

“You were snooping,” I repeated, finishing his answer for him, “You were looking through my stuff and snoopity-snoop-snooping.” At that I lunged towards him but urrrr he snuck under my arms again and scampered towards the door, running out into the hallway.

I turned, bra still in hand, and stepped after him. By the time I got out of the bedroom he was already scooting down the stairs. 

“Why are you running away from meeeee..?” I called after him as he hit the bottom floor and disappeared around the corner. I giggled. Of course I could just boom out, use my bossy voice, and make him turn right around. I could make him crawl back up the stairs to me til he got to my size 15s, but where's the fun in that hahaha? Well, that actually does sound fun too haha…but I have a better idea.

I  walked to the top of the stairs. “Hide and seek? Is that what you want to play, honey?” I spoke. I made certain he would hear me. My voice, I knew, could carry through the house. In fact it could shatter all the windows, if I wanted. “Cat and mouse?” I continued, as I took my first step down towards the bottom floor. I was still in my workout clothes, this tight white top and black leggings, but my muscles were so pumped up from even just the tiny little weights my mom had downstairs that they were nearly bursting out of my clothes. Maybe I’ll do that, when I catch you, make you watch me burst out of my clothing. 

“So, where is little mousy?” I asked, when I got to the bottom of the stairs, “ Big big kitty wants to playyyyy…” In all honesty I felt less like a kitty and more like a giant mama she-lion stalking for dinner, but I was willing to go with it. I glanced down at the table, this narrow thing that my mom kept in the atrium. My eyes narrowed.  I’d dropped a bunch of ‘Lean In’ and ‘Movement’ pamphlets here last week, and he’d obviously been looking through them. I could smell him on them. 

“I see you found my pamphlets,” I called out to the house, holding back a laugh, “Interesting reading, hm?” I knew I shouldn’t leave these laying around; they're supposed to be for girl-eyes only. Whatever. “And you were looking at that picture of me from the fitness competition? I was big for a twe- …nineteen yr old…” I said, “I’m so much bigger now.”

Come back here and I’ll show you.

---

Oh my god, oh my god! What the fuck is happening?? I thought to myself, having moments ago ducked behind the couch, my heart racing with the panic of a hunted animal. What do I think I’m doing?? Seeing her like she was, being caught in her bedroom after finding all the things I’d found - those pamphlets, her notes and ravings, my instinctual reaction was ‘get away from this giant crazy lunatic’.

Deep breath. I know I know I know…this was Melissa. My girlfriend. Of all the people I’d ever met she was one of the most sweet and tender. The perfect girlfriend. At times. 

But it was more than fair to say she could - at other times - be rather unbalanced, and this was clearly one of them. I could see it in her eyes, as soon as I saw her upstairs. She was manic. She was possessed by this need to get bigger, stronger. She claimed it was to protect me, but why did I  suddenly feel so endangered? Why? Was I just confused? She wouldn’t actually hurt me, right? No….no. But I…I needed time to think, to process. What did her having all that propaganda imply, what did all that stuff I found on the shelf mean for us? For me?

“Come out come out wherever you are…!” I heard her tease, giggling. Urk! She was close, walking just on the other side of the couch I was hiding behind. I had to crouch down, shrink down even smaller not to be seen, almost crawling under the couch. I could feel her passing by, and I watched as her long, long legs came into view walking away. Her big thighs bulged through spandex leggings, thick, hip-width muscle lapping at the base of her tapered, heroic torso. The twin planets of her ass rocked back and forth rhythmically swaying as she made her way towards the enclosed indoor pool to look for me. She was carrying the big white bra I’d been breathing from; it dangled from her right hand. Is she using that as bait?

I refused to fall for it. Now was my chance. 

Behind her back, just as she was stepping through the sliding doors, I darted away. Trying my best to stay quiet, I scooted towards the kitchen, and through the back hallway. There was a door there that led outside. If I made it outside, maybe I could-

I could what? As I got to the back door, and my hand met the handle, I froze. I was suddenly assaulted. Assaulted by doubt, apprehension and a new wave of nausea. 

Ugh. Ugh ugh- I- can’t. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t open the door. Something in my rat brain was stopping me. Somehow I knew, as the taste of bile hit the back of my throat, that things would only get worse out there than they were in here. I had a flash, a mental image, a picture of it. I would be cold, weak and alone, and the reality of it made me shiver. I couldn't do it. I’ve got to think of something else…

-----

I knew he wasn’t in here. I knew he wouldn’t dare go into the pool area. It was too frightening for him now that he was afraid to go near the water by himself. He might fall in again, drown without me.

Yeah, the pool room would be off-limits, even if it was  just to hide from me.. Plus, I knew where he was anyway haha. I could hear him. His heavy breathing, his little steps as he scampered from the great room.  He was trying to be sneaky but to me they were clear as day. I came out here anyway just to give him some time to try to get away, maybe find a really good hiding spot. I wasn’t worried that he’d go outside. If he did, then he’d be really scared, and he’d feel even sicker. So no. I wasn’t worried. He would need me soon.

But I wanted to hold him so bad. Like, now. 

So, after just a little bit - I counted to ten in my head - I turned around, came back into the main living area, and closed the slider to the pool behind me. “I guess you’re not in there,” I called out, knowing he could hear me. I peeled off my workout sneakers - one, two - and dropped them on the floor. Socks too. I liked the feeling of the house shaking under my bare feet, but first I listened. I could so easily sense him and everything about him now. So cool. 

“Oh are you starting to feel sick? Does you're tummy hurt? Hm hun?” I announced, “Being away from me is just so hard, huh?” Slowly I started to walk and yeah haha - <boom boom boom> went my feet. “Take a deep breath hun. There should be enough of my perfumes around so you can handle it - I’m really sweaty haha - but still. You don’t feel so good, do you?” It was like I could feel his stomach turn. “Come to mama. You can sniff her bra again, and make it all better <giggle!>”

This is like playing hide and seek with a toddler. I glanced around the great room, making a show of looking under the couch cushions and behind the big potted plant that I really needed to water, but I knew he wasn’t in here. He was like a little kid, so predictable so I kinda already knew where he was.It was so obvious. Plus haha I can hear his heartbeat. 

He was scared. Was he really trying to resist me?

“Hiding in the kitchen, hm?” I called out, as I casually made my way towards him. I’d turned off my perfumes, completely, a little while ago.  I didn’t really know I could do that, but I guess I can. I giggled to myself. If you're not going to play nice sweetie, then I'm not going to either. I can withhold from you. Let’s see how much you like that.

“Get ready, hun,” I said, “Here I come…”

---

Oh no! How the hell?!? I could hear her coming closer, the house - and everything around me - shaking under her feet. She couldn't possibly know!  

My heart raced anew. I thought I’d found a spot, the perfect place. Here, in the dark, I could be quiet. I could try to deal with this building nausea. She’d never think I could actually fit in here, right? I’d just had to push a few cleaning products out of the way and curl up a little. Suddenly my height is an advantage, I thought ruefully, but if she knew I was in the kitchen, it wouldn’t be long until-

<boom boom boom!> her footsteps were coming closer. 

How are they so loud??

She continued to talk to me, teasing me as she approached. “Haha I bet you’re wondering: ‘How does she know, huh? How does she know I was looking at the pamphlets? Her picture?’ Are you wondering that, sweetie? Are you wondering how I know?” 

She was in the kitchen, now. I heard her opening some of the upper cabinets. “I was downstairs working out with my mom’s little baby weights, lifting them all and I felt it. Haha I felt you, what you were doing,” she continued. A cabinet door <slammed>, making me flinch. “How does it feel to have a girlfriend that can read your mind, honey??”

Oh my god she’s crazy, I thought to myself but, for a second, I couldn't help but consider the horrifying possibility. I shivered in some dark mix of fear and arousal. What if she could?

I heard a loud <THUD> as she looked through a garbage can, followed by the clinking of utensils as she opened - a silverware drawer? How small does she think I am??

“Wanna know what else I can do?” she asked as her heavy footfalls - <boom, boom, boom> - approached even closer. What small bit of light came into my hiding space, the little sliver through the door, was eclipsed by the shadow of her legs as she passed in front. She’d stopped. She was now a foot away from me, if that. 

I knew, I knew it right then and there. She was waiting for me. She was standing there on purpose, blithely talking to me and indulging my little game of hiding from her. She totally knew where I was.

“You know, don’t you? That I know exactly where you are?” she began, “I can feel it, but that's not all. I can also tell you’re shaking. You’re quivering. You’re afraid.”

My eyes went wide. How? How was this all possible? I knew I needed to hide. I needed to get away, but all I managed to do was get myself trapped, and now she was coming to get me.

 “Awwww, honey, sweetie…don’t be too afraid…”

<BOOM!>

An enormous footfall, inches away, rattling the cabinets, glassware and indeed the entire house around us. I covered my head and went into a fetal position I heard her begin to laugh. All my nerve endings were screaming and I’d tucked away, backing deeper into my little hole as far as I could.

“You like that?” she chuckled, as <BOOM!> she slammed her foot again into the kitchen floor, to shake the house even more violently and causing me to nearly jump out of my own skin. I heard something crash and shatter in another room. “I can make my feet really heavy. I can make earthquakes for you,” she said, from where she stood right outside my hiding spot, “That’s kinda sexy, right?”

I tried to keep myself from moaning, whining, whimpering - I was so scared! - I didn't want her to hear me. She knew I was here but…but…

“Come on out, sweetie, come on out and I can show you what else I can do,” she continued, “I can use my breath, I can use my eyes, I can use everything that’s super about me and we can have so much fun…”

I couldn’t help it, I let out a noise. It was a groan? A moan? A little whine? Whatever it was it sounded pathetic, and I’m sure she heard it…

“Ohhhhh, sweetie..!” I heard her exclaim, “That little noise! Are you feeling okay? All hidden away from me, away from my perfumes?” I saw her shadow shift outside. “It hurts your tummy, doesn’t it? Being without them? Makes your head all ucky?”

Nnngh. Oh my god. Yes. I wanted it. I needed it, now more than ever. I needed to smell her, to breathe her in. I just need a little.

“Just a little? That’s all you need?” she cooed, torturing me with the promise and an infuriating little giggle, “Come on out, then. I have something that might help.”

I reached my hand out toward the door. I shivered, I shook. My bones rattled like a junkie, my mind desperate.

Wh-What is it?

“‘What is it?’ Hmm, here’s a hint,” she began, frightening me with her evident ability to know what I was thinking,  “it's smooth, and silky and white and it’s reeeeeally big. I think it'll make you feel allll better. You just have to ask nice.”

My breath rattled in my lungs as I pictured her caressing it in her hands. Oh Christ.

  “p-p-please..?” I peeped out, from my dark little spot, giving into my weakness and perversion as I finally revealed myself.

I heard her giggle. 

“Please what?”

“p-please may I come out..?” I asked.

“‘Please may I come out and..’? What else, honey?”

She was going to tease me, punish me, show me the folly of ever trying to get away from her.

“please may I come out,” I began again, my voice timid and meek. Just as weak as I was. I didn't even really know what I was saying anymore. “A-and…” oh my god oh christ what am I saying “...c-can you put your bra on my face?” 

What the hell’s become of me??

 I really need to get out of here!

“Oh, of course sweetie,” she giggled, apparently amused and tickled pink by the candidness of my pathetic request. “I would love to do that, but where are you?” she teased.

“I-I’m down here…” I said, from inside my lair, as I lightly pushed open the cabinet door.

---

“Oh good boy!” I sang, laughing. Omigod this was too much hahahaha! He asked! I got him to actually ask for it! “Good boy, good boy,” I said, immediately crouching down and opening the under-sink cabinet where he’d been hiding from me. “Oooo you look so cute, so little and curled-up and scared under there, like a little boy hiding from his - nnngh - mommy.” 

Did I just say that out loud haha??

He still had on his wrinkled little work shirt, his wrinkled little work pants. His brow was all wrinkled up too, he was so nervous, embarrassed. He looked up at me. “Aww, sweetie! It’s okay! Come on out!”

I knew I could have helped him, reached in and lifted him right out of there, but I wanted to stand and watch him crawl out toward me, Which was exactly what he started to do. 

Awkwardly, so awkward, he started coming on out, unfolding himself from the little ball he’d curled himself into. He got partway out, from the cabinet, before he stumbled and fell into a little heap at my feet. I giggled at his clumsiness, and looked down at him.

He started to try to get his hands under himself, maybe trying to stand - but I could tell he really wanted to scamper away.

“Nuh-uh,” I immediately said with a frown, placing a big, bare foot of mine onto his chest. I gently (well, maybe not so gently haha)  pushed him down, until he was laying on the floor. With his scared little eyes looking up at me as I had him pinned on his back, it was priceless! 

 Oh, haha, poor baby. Are you afraid that I saw through your little escape attempt? Afraid I read your mind? This was just too much fun!

“Stay there for a minute,” I told him, my foot now pushing him into the polished hardwood floor of the kitchen. Nnnngh omigod is that a boner? Is he…haha omigoddd…liking having my foot on him, being stepped on? Little man don’t you know I could crush your ribcage like celery sticks?

I considered pushing my foot up, rubbing it in his face. I could make him lick and kiss my toes to make it up to me, for all this running away and hiding. Kiss my feet. The boys in the basement ask to do it. Maybe you should learn to do it too. 

“h-how did you know I was in there?” he finally asked, from down on the ground. There were so many questions in his scared little eyes, but he was really just having trouble accepting the truth about what I could do. I figured I should keep it simple.

“Let’s just call it women’s intuition,” I said, smiling my biggest warmest smile at him as I took my foot off him, leaned down, and picked him right up from under his arms. My bra still dangled from my right hand but I had no trouble; he weighed practically nothing. I could hold him off the ground like this for as long as I wanted, watch him squirm. I looked him right in the eye as I slowly started to pull him in-

Oh ho the little noodge! He put his hands up to my chest, trying to push off, push me away. 

‘Still afraid of me huh? Even with that big boner in your pants?’ He pushed, the little twerp. “Oh like that’s going to help!” Nnngh! That’s only going to make it worse haha! ‘Now, come to mama…’

 I arched my back, pressing my big breasts just further into his small hands. I couldn't keep from moaning. "OOoooOOoooo I like the feeling of your little hands on me, Jay,” I said, “It makes me feel even bigger!” 

It’s true. Maybe I’m a bit mean sometimes, maybe I’m a bad girlfriend but comparing his shrunken body to mine was like my favorite thing to do. “You’re so small, so little and weak,” I said to him, “and when we’re together I feel huge. I love feeling huge.” I giggled. His hands were mushed right into my boobs, basically disappearing. “Do you promise you’ll keep getting smaller for me?”

His jaw was quivering, his eyes big and wide. He was staring at his hands, seeing for himself just how smsll they were compared to my breasts. He was just so powerless. Shocked, he looked up into my face... His brain was slowing down. He was having trouble talking. I had let go just a little of my pheram- uh, perfumes - I didn’t like when he felt sick to his tummy! - but it’s not like he was babbling, or salivating all over the floor. I could just tell he was lost in me. And not just in my size, he was lost in all of me. Sure he was paying attention to  the swell of my shoulders and traps  which, nnngh, were still all pumped up and enormous and maybe haha a little intimidating. But his eyes also traveled into my eyes, my smile, my big thick hair. I just loved how he was looking at me. It's quite nice, sometimes, to be such a bombshell haha.

He was like a baby deer, and now that he’d been caught by the hungry mama bear - haha me -  with his big wide eyes, all his trembling? He might as well have been drizzling himself in honey. “Sweetie I need a kiss, a nice big one,” I told him, unable to help myself as I pulled him in. 

He could tell as soon as my my lips pressed against his: I just wanted to eat him up! He could feel how wonderfully full my lips were and just how easily they engulfed his. He felt their softness and warmth overtake him, and, nnngh, I wanted him to imagine them pressing up against his entire body, being sucked into my mouth, me eating him up! My lips needed no help pulling him into them and haha as we kissed he could feel his breath being drawn from his lungs by my own stronger ones. I held his breath from him and when I finally released him he found himself panting.

“M-Melissa, oh my god…” he managed, his head swimming from lack of air. 

My cheeks warmed up and my excitement built even more. I opened my mouth to respond, but instead a moan came out and once again I pressed my lips against his. Now I really began to suck him in, a huge kiss.

It’s like…I didn’t mean to kiss him again. I should really be punishing him, for snooping, for running away from me and hiding. There were other things I should be doing, I knew, to show him his place, but I wanted him inside me so badly and as I kissed him my mouth opened wider and worked against his, overpowering his smaller lips with my own while again drawing the breath from inside him. I sucked in, and in, and in. He struggled a little, then a lot, in my hands. Squirming around, the little cutie.

I thought maybe I should break the kiss but - haha no -  I didn’t wanna, even as his chest began to strain and I began to get concerned I might collapse his skinny chest. He’d stopped moving. So instead I breathed into him, filling his lungs. I’d taken the breath from him so I could give him my own. Don’t worry, I can give you what you need to breathe. What I breathed into him was better than regular air. It was my air, my oxygen, it was all me me me.

Stil, he began to squirm again, like he was trying to get away from me. 

“You are being such a stinker!” I laughed, breaking our kiss and holding him so our faces were just inches apart. I cocked my head and regarded him, falling into thought as he gasped. “I’m beginning to think that your email friend and this ‘resistance’ are a little problem for us. Are they making you think this way, act up like this, all naughty? I don't want them infecting my perfect little man with bad ideas.”

He shook his head, still recovering. “N-no, Melissa, I just w-wanted to…f-find out more…” 

“Oh, Jay, I know,” I said, trying to stay calm. Think, Missy, think. Be patient with him. “Well, as long as you stop reading those emails, it's no problem.” At least for now. 

He didn’t have a phone, at this point, no one could text him either. We looked through all his mail, made sure he only got stuff we’d want him to read. In fact, is there any reason he needs to read at all? God haha mmmph! That would be amazing! Emptying that little head of his until he can't remember how to read. I could just picture it: I imagined myself looking into his eyes and draining him of all his big-boy smarts until he was like a simple little child, watching all his brains just dribble out. That way I could read to him at night, help him along with books at bedtime. Books like - what’s it called? One Fish, Two Fish? Red Fish, Blue Fish? Or haha One Boob, Two Boobs, White Boobs, Brown Boobs. That should keep him focused on what's important. Haha Boobs Boobs Boobs hahahahaha. 

Sometimes I sound crazy, I know. But everyone is a little crazy when they're in love, right?

“So, though, is that why you were sneaking around snooping? Reading those pamphlets and looking through my stuff?” I asked as gentle as I could be when every inch of me just wanted to, nnngh haha toss his little man body onto the counter and climb on top of him. “You trying to figure me out?” I continued.

At that, I lifted him a bit and <plopped> him on his butt, right onto the granite of the kitchen counter, next to the sink. His little legs dangled off the side. I put my hands down - I was still holding my bra - on either side of his knees, resting the weight of my upper body on the stone and leaning in towards him. Instinctively, he leaned back a bit. People get like that, these days. They have trouble handling me when I get close.

“I should punish you but, well, here. Let me tell you a little about what’s happening…”

===================================

thank you to @artaibyanuartoraigyrov for the base image in the first pic, and to RiF for help in editing.

As always, more on Patreon:

[raindownforme]

These Four Years

Ted Nivison x reader [they/them used]

First semester senior year

y/n huffed, running their hands over the the flannel material of their top.

“Break a leg.” This year, there was a freshman going around backstage before every rehearsal saying it over and over. Break a leg. Break a leg. Break a leg. God, y/n wanted to rip her head off.

A gentle hand crept over y/n’s shoulders, moving from their left to their right and settled in a calm grasp. “Careful there, doll.”

“You don’t have to be in character yet.” y/n stood with a sour look on their face as they watched the actors already on stage. Them and Ted’s cue was soon.

“What’s wrong?” Ted peered over at y/n, leaning down to better listen to their hushed voice. He had gotten even taller, standing a little less than a foot over them.

“Fucking— the freshman won’t shut up and I hate this stupid dress and wig and I have to kiss you in front of everyone.”

“Well, first, it’s just an underclassmen. They’ll learn. Second,” ted reached out and patted y/n on the head. “The wig is just for a couple hours. And third, you look great in the costume! They did a really good job.”

y/n shrugged, trying to hide a smile. “Your costume looks great, too.”

Ted was quiet, watching the stage alongside y/n. “Is it that bad to kiss me? I made extra sure to brush my teeth.”

“No it’s— extra? Are you usually unsure that you brushed your teeth?”

Ted paused, seeming almost embarrassed. “That’s not what I asked.”

“It’s not that bad.” y/n shrugged. “I just— in front of everyone. I know it’s only a stage kiss but it’s still terrifying.”

Ted seemed to want to say something, but instead y/n gave his hand a squeeze and walked out onto stage, holding character. Ted followed eagerly, jumping in just the same.

“Come on Lace, you know you want me.”

“Please Tommy, you’re a scamp.” y/n walked towards the opposite direction from where they entered.

“Aww, doll I’d stop for y’a. Why, I’d settle down and be a worthy man. Honest.” Ted reached out, taking y/n in his arms and swinging them around. y/n laughed.

“Oh Tommy, you’re a liar aren’t you?”

“Now Lace, you take me for that? Those woman in town best not be fillin your head. Not my best girl.”

“Your best girl? And I wonder who else’s heard that before?”

y/n wriggled themself free from Ted, heading further away from him. Ted caught up with them, grabbing them by the arm and flipping them to face himself. Ted slipped a hand around y/n’s waist, dipping them down lightly in a romantic manner. Ted moved quicker as he kissed y/n.

y/n’s brain felt deep fried. Static ran over their skin as ted pulled away, hands still around y/n’s waist. “See Lace? I promise. First kiss to my best girl.”

y/n pushed Ted off. “Tommy! You know better than to— than— oh you!”

y/n hurried off stage, Ted following after. Some other characters came on stage to continue the scene. Ted watched y/n take a breath, one they seemed to be holding for a while.

“That wasn’t so bad was it?” Ted took y/n’s hand in his and gave a gentle squeeze.

y/n smiled at the boy and squeezed his hand back. “Wasn’t that bad.”

Second semester senior year

[modernmisadventures]

Chapter 8: Group Chat #2

Jess carelessly tossed her pack aside as soon as she stepped foot back into the small storage room she called home; she could wash her swimwear tomorrow. Or wherever she got around to it. Flopping down onto her bed, she pulled out her tomestone.

No messages. 

Of course, Thancred was busy - he was on a date, after all, and Jess knew full well the sorts of things that happened on dates. Especially for him. Though she was loath to think of her brother-figure in that way, he had a reputation that even his ‘family’ knew by then.

But, well… she was bored. And so she opened her group chat, seeing if, just maybe, someone else was around to entertain her, with all her other friends - all two of them - preoccupied. 

ChocoChic27: Hey everyone, wish Thancred luck! He’s on a date right now with a very special someone ;)

~LightYourWay~: Wait. He had a date?? With who??

RockYourHeart: Like a date, date? Does Thancred even know what those are?

ChocoChic27: Well it sure sounded like a date date - with Kal’istae - err, Ms. Miurani to you, Ryne. He made reservations even. Thancred! Making reservations!

~LightYourWay~: SHE SAID YES?

RockYourHeart: Wait, Miss Miurani, the magic teacher? My magic teacher? Thancred is dating the magic teacher?? Wait! Ryne, you knew about this??

ChocoChic27: She said yes!!! Oh you should have seen her, she came to me at work to ask ME for advice! Me! On what to wear! It was positively adorable - oh, I think she likes him. 

ChocoChic27: Wait, Min, she was your teacher too? 

ChocoChic27: wtf how come I didn’t get magic class? That’s so unfair.

ChocoChic27: Um. Anyway. Not the point. Yes. He’s on a date with her. 

~LightYourWay~: @StillWaters Come on! How’s it going? Did you kiss yet?

RockYourHeart: Ryne! Don’t bother them! Thancred, ignore her.

RockYourHeart: Jess, didn’t you go to the high school? Miss Miurani’s at the magic school.

~LightYourWay~: Ugh don’t call it that.

RockYourHeart: 🙄

~LightYourWay~: 🤣 You used to get pissy too.

ChocoChic27: Nerds. 

StillWaters: You’re all nerds.

ChocoChic27: THANCRED!? What are you doing here!? Aren’t you on a date???? Get off your tome!

StillWaters: I just dropped her off at home and am heading to the Underground. It’s almost ten, you know. Some of us have work in the morning.

~LightYourWay~: Tell us everything!!

RockYourHeart: Ryne.

[Incoming text message from: Kal’istae: Gods. Holy gods.]

~LightYourWay~: I have a vested interest in this. Do you know how long I tried to set them up?

StillWaters: And how often you almost sent all of my plans awry? 😆 I’m not going to kiss and tell. Not this time.

ChocoChic27: Plans? Thancred, you can’t mean to tell me you had plans. You were hopeless!

RockYourHeart: Sounds like you really like her.

[Incoming text message from: Ciprys: Good date? Spill all of the…]

StillWaters: I think that has been established at this point.

RockYourHeart: Good for you. It’s about time. Night, guys.

~LightYourWay~: But I want deets!

RockYourHeart: Let him be, Ryne. You don’t want to scare him off.

~LightYourWay~: 🤐 Night~

ChocoChic27: Well… If he won’t kiss and tell, I bet I know who will. 

StillWaters: Good night, girls. Good night, scamp. Tell Kali I said hello.

ChocoChic27: 😏

With a smirk, Jess tabbed away from her family chat to her girls chat, intent on squeezing every last detail she could out of at least one of them. Judging by the time, things hadn’t progressed quite as far as she’d expected - unless Thancred did her quick and dirty. But he was better than that. She hoped. 

Jess: So so so???? What happened?????

Kal’istae: We went on a date.

Ciprys: KALI.

Kal’istae: 🤣 He took me to dinner at that new Hingan place on Fourteenth. Can you believe he’s had rolling reservations for a month hoping I’d say yes?

Jess: Ah. I see. “Plans.” So, uh… Do you find desperation hot in a guy? Because he’s a little… Well… 

Kal’istae: I think it was sweet. I appreciate determination. And it was a great place. Apparently he knew the chef?

Ciprys: Look, I’m sure the food was great, the atmosphere charming, and the bill big, but what I want to know is whether or not you got yourself a piece of that??

Jess: I really really hate that I’m stuck between “did you fuck my brother?” and “did you fuck my brother?!” 

Jess: But also… did you fuck my brother?

Kal’istae: And people say boys are bad. No, I did not sleep with Thancred. This time.

Kal’istae: And I’ll thank you not to make me regret that any more than I already do.

Kal’istae: Toys just don’t have the same punch.

Ciprys: Clearly, we need to get you some new toys. And a new brain. Wtf didn’t you sleep with him?? Or did he not try to get in your pants? Wtf is wrong with your brother, Jess?

Jess couldn’t help but stare, just a little horrified, at her tomestone, before finding the courage to reply.

Jess: Uh… A lot. But it takes two to tango! Continuous enthusiastic consent and all that they teach in school, yeah? Very unlike him, I guarantee he’d be your toy if you asked. Was he… not interested??? 

Kal’istae: I’m going to go out on a limb and say if I’d invited him in, I would not be talking to you right now because I’d still be busy fucking him like a Viera. So the interest was there. But… it didn’t feel right?

Ciprys: Like with me and Cir. You want it to be the right time, not just the right place.

Kal’istae: Exactly! He’s… special. 🥴 I don’t want to be just another notch on his bedpost.

Kal’istae: That said, oh my gods, the man can kiss. Holy shit. Sorry Jess. I know that’s gotta be ick for you, but that mouth. Menphina’s tits!

Jess: Ick indeed! Glad you had fun but… eesh! So, there’s gonna be a next time?

Kal’istae: I really think so. I really hope so. That man is… well. He sure flipped a lot of my switches. And sorry, Jess. Uhm. So, we didn’t have to pay for dinner.

Ciprys: You didn’t dine and dash on your first date, did you??

Jess: won’t have sex on the first date but will commit a level 3 crime instead? Damn, girl.

Jess: also wait. Do most people have sex on the first date or is that… not a thing? I’m taking notes.

Ciprys: Depends on the date.

Kal’istae: Depends on the date.

Kal’istae: Jinx.

Ciprys: Damn it.

Kal’istae: This is the first date I’ve been on that hasn’t been with the intention of sex afterwards. I can only assume that there’s nothing wrong with not putting out on the first serious date, since he didn’t seem that upset. Like, he would have, but he wasn’t surprised I didn’t?

Ciprys: Don’t ask me. I never date unless it’s for a good time with no strings.

Kal’istae: Has any of us ever actually been on a real, honest, date-date?

Ciprys: Not me.

Jess: and if it hasn’t been abundantly clear by now, I’ve never been on any kind of date. So, no. I guess you’re the first! Pity us, won’t you? And remember to invite us to your wedding!

Kal’istae: Uh. Don’t count your chocobos. Let’s just get past the first few dates and find out whether or not he thinks I’m as completely lame as I know I am, okay?

Ciprys: Girl. Ain’t nothing lame about you. Good thing, Jess and I both look good in red!

Jess: It’s Thancred, he’s even more lame than you. And, uh, doesn’t wearing red to a wedding mean that you’ve slept with the groom? I just want cake.

Kal’istae: So, what did you two do tonight?

Ciprys: Subtle.

Kal’istae: I know, right?

Jess: Uh, just girl stuff. Ate. Swam. Talked about guys - or just one guy, really. Cip’s special guy.

Kal’istae: Sir something, right? Sounds like some kind of knight.

Ciprys: Cirdan. And he’s the farthest thing from a knight you can get. 🤣 And not much to spill there, yet. What we really need to do is find a guy for Jess to hook up with.

Jess: Absolutely not! Based on the kinds of guys you two are into, I very much do not need you trying to “hook me up”. And even if you did, I don’t want a hook up, I want a romance. 

Kal’istae: What’s wrong with the guy I’m in to? He’s smart, he’s sexy, he’s got a super sensitive side, but he knows how to show a girl a good time. Sounds like a winner.

Ciprys: So my guy’s a bad guy. He’s still fucking hot. And loaded. But so we find you a romance. I can dig it. I like a good love story.

Jess: What’s wrong with Thancred? What’s wrong with Thancred? Look how long he took to finally take you on a date! All of this could have been avoided if he just spoke about his feelings! He’s a complete and utter dork, just you wait. And your guy, Cip, sounds positively terrifying! Money is nice though, I concede.

Kal’istae: Do you know that Thancred has asked me on a date almost every day for a year?

Ciprys: Oh, he is positively terrifying, thanks for noticing! Some girls like to know that their man can take care of any little problem that comes their way.

Ciprys: But not for you. I think you need a sweet little fluff of a man. Well. Maybe not little. I’ll wager you need something a bit more than average.

Jess: Every day. For a year. And you’re asking me what’s wrong with him???

Jess: Hmm… I think you’re right, Cip. I don’t want anyone shorter than me. I know that removes… Oh, what, half of the population? 

Kal’istae: Every WEEK! Every WEEK! Gods. Not every day. 

Ciprys: Oh, so he’s only mildly desperate.

Kal’istae: 😣 I think it’s sweet. 🙁

Ciprys: Sure it is. And okay, so it’s a bit easier for Kali and I to find what qualifies as a tall guy, but I didn’t mean height, babe. I meant dick size, and I don’t think you’d settle for average.

Kal’istae: Smooth.

Ciprys: Nah. Smooth is overrated.

Kal’istae: 😣

Jess: CIP!!! What happened to “size isn’t everything” and all that? You CAN’T just ask someone their dick size before going on a date!

Ciprys: I mean, size isn’t everything, but finding someone who knows how to use a below-average sized dick right is harder than it sounds. So trust me, for your first few times, find someone hung.

Kal’istae: Ugh, Cip, you’re going to scare her. Jess, personality is more important than dick size, I swear, especially since you’re in it for the romance, not just the sex. Don’t worry about what’s in his pants, worry about what’s under his hat.

Ciprys: Just make sure he wears a hat.

Kal’istae: Ciprys! 😂 I’m going to go to bed. Night, you guys.

Kal’istae has disconnected.

Ciprys: Bed. Sure. Enjoy your toys, girl. And Jess, don’t fret so much. Shit will happen as it should. We’ll find you someone to get all romantical with, promise. Ta!

Ciprys has disconnected.

It was all Jess could do to stare at her screen, completely and utterly horrified. At least such things were the least of her problems - for now, she merely shoved her phone under her pillow and buried her face to hide her growing embarrassment.

[scumbag-monthly]

The Young Ones - Time 🕰️

Original air date: 5.6.84

Reviewed by: @rikhead

Greetings to the internet. Passionate fan here of the Young Ones and Rik Mayall from the US. Went with “Time” being, I think one of my favorites. Makes me smile from the beginning to the end, no matter how awful yet lovable the boys are!

Brief warning, I watch the show mainly just for them. very rarely I’ll watch the puppets or side characters just cause, I lost my interest, so not a complete review. Sure I’m not the only one who does this, but the musical guests most definitely too.… onward into the review.

So this is a wackier episode just from the introduction, and some different theme music. So it’s a parody of the American tv show “Dallas”, but was popular in the UK. Never seen it. Very amusing how we’re introduced to the boys playing different parts: Rick dives right into a pool, Mike is.. lying dead in a coffin, ok, Neil looking like a cool smokin’ cowboy, and Vyvyan poking an actual cow is adorable, and lots of girls. So the intro ends and it’s just Rick and a woman. Ok, I know sometimes the sets did look cheap, but the makeup/costumes? The BBC did well always in my opinion. Rik slightly looks like “Rick” with the pigtails, but free of acne! And BRIGHT pearly white teeth haha. Clearly some drama going on about oil and Rick being dramatic as usual. He goes to see “ET”, who surprise, is Neil.

Rick’s exaggerated bad American accent is, quite a sight. As an American, I laugh with pain to be honest haha. Anyways, so Neil changes something and they celebrate not till Vyvyan shouts, interrupting Neil’s “DREAM”…*sigh* the cliché dream sequence, but Neil’s moaning that his dreams are not a reality makes up for it. Vyyvan’s screaming at the church choir basically, with it being a Sunday, everyone goes to church, and the boys sleep in till the afternoon usually. Great yelling haha. We cut to our “hero”, a sleepy Rick in a quite larger version of his bed. Had to be bigger to fit two in, wait what?! Rick is surprised just like us, a woman is snoozing in his bed. He has a perfect reaction, until he turns into a pervy; crawls under the covers, snorting god knows what else.. but lifts the covers, pants-less, covered in filth, green spray paint in his hair, and even a streamer stuck in his undies, eww haha.

You can tell Rick is a moody young one, being concerned and questioning where she came from, but also delighted the gods gifted him, someone, to finally love, haha. Like a mischievous scamp, he puts his trousers on, and leaves to find the others (finally a plot) Vyvyan still being his usual self, trying to solve problems, is banging his head against the wall to try to stop his headache. Clearly not interested in Rick’s dilemma, Rick scurries off to the kitchen, where Mike’s sorting through newspapers.. why he has so many? We will never know why. Rick wanders in like the usual trait in every episode: trying to prove he’s cooler and more liked than Vyv.. his mannerisms are a true representation of series 2, being more cartoony and chaotic. Rick goes about doing something he never does, making tea. Normally the others bully Neil into doing all the cooking and cleaning. This goes to show Rick will do anything for love perhaps, haha. He goes about trying to outsmart with “oh we need more cups” but fails. Quite the scatterbrains they are. Bizarre, they can’t help wonder if Mike was pulling a joke on us., with how many times they break the 4th wall, or it’s an illusion, ah never mind, let’s move on. 

Rick’s got the tea, on his merry way upstairs when, oh no, Neil’s up and bumps into him, or Rick bumps into him. The hot tea scorches all over Rick’s shirt. Another great moment with what Rik was capable of in the screaming department. He isn’t much better when he gags at things, telling Neil to lick up the tea as it’s soaking into the carpet already; mad man haha. Great fight between them, calling Neil a pig with no snorts *gasp*. Vyyvan interrupts their fight with a “boom”, stick of dynamite going off his head to further attempt to cure the headache hangover. Good gag, then comes.. um. Well quite normal for the show to go off into random side events that lead into nothing. We’re instantly in a cheese shop, with Rik as the worker (how’d they clean him up so well? Lol) and Alexi running in. Could be one of the shorter Balowski family appearances in an ep, just appearing here and towards the end of the ep. Basically it is a homage to the Monty Python skit, which the guys grew up on. Very silly and making a 4th wall reference. 

**Then comes the “main focus”. Stories do not stay long in this universe, but the woman in Rick’s bed and what Neil asks about, could call it the main focus. Neil asks about a woman spotted in the bathroom (ooh er) and Rick decides to tell a tall-tale or a poor one, on the spot. Plus making goofy expressions: “If you got a spare couple of days”, wobbling his head and smirking, iconic. 

Funny still he loses confidence when Neil asks him to go into detail, and Rick not being brave enough to know at times, or possibly has never “done it”. Hilarious Vyv is unsure listening.. and then barfs right on Rick’s body. Then suddenly the mystery woman appears, and hilarious Rick goes after straight up to her face and she isn’t phased. Jennifer was such a pro. Looking like Cinderella, hilarious everyone’s reactions. The vibe is Rick taking charge introducing everyone, and then suddenly it’s all quiet, and awkward (in a funny way). Especially love Vyv using his lips acting puzzled, slowly putting the bomb box down, and cocking his head, slowly inching over to the table. Then Neil breaks the silence. Mike of course standing off to the side offering to be her man. Rick then does another not-normal thing! Make breakfast, out of frustration everyone not following his way of treating their guest. 

Very strange episode indeed. We find out the woman’s name is Helen.. Mucus oh boy, haha. Favorite part maybe, is Rick re-entering the room with the most pervy moves ever, or basically Richie from “Bottom” in the making, haha. Silly but also prior to this, Vyvyan sitting close to Helen and staring at her.. “jugs”, as the Brits call them, breasts. Yeah, no one says anything, but Rick thrusting everyone stares lol. Perhaps if they criticize Vyvan, he’ll “kill them”.. eek. Rick tries to cover his body language up with dancing, and their radio seems to be stuck on the choir channel haha. Vyvyan roasting Rick is great, and think some of us wouldn’t mind dancing with Rick *wink*. Helen then breaks the ice, spilling Rick’s story out of here. He didn’t have sex with her, she climbed through a window while the boys were gone (who knows where), and was simply sleeping in Rick’s bed without him knowing. Here we can insert theories on where the boys were, and this “party”.

Maybe they were at someone else’s house or the pub, and then they all came over to their house, with Neil mentioning Rick passed out from drinking cider haha.. the possibilities are endless. Anyway, uh oh, Rick lied about it, he’s blushing and scrambling, and Vyvyan cuts into the well-known line, “Rick is still a virgin!” and Rick shouting “I am not!!”

Funniest thing ever, when people look at other episodes, this moment I swear is one of the iconic ones, even when some readers may recall in the 5th Bottom live tour, Rik and Ade did brief impressions of the Young Ones: Rick about how “Grate” he is/ slurring his words and Vyvyan asking if we got a video and “virgin, virgin”; good stuff haha.

So I suppose it’s the climax, next big conflict, Rick and Vyv go off into a fight, throwing stuff and poor Neil being thrown in as well. You think it’s over as Rick smashed their giant record player over vyv’s head, and says a rude joke “Who wants a boiled egg?” (which you might now Rik used in his standup shows frequently), but Vyv pops the door open and pokes Rick with a fork, leading the fight to continue upstairs. A shame it isn’t shown much. 

Suddenly the radio pauses the church music and a newsflash comes on, revealing Helen isn’t who she seems to be (a dangerous killer!).. The camera zooms in, revealing the DJ is a pirate on a boat. Get it, pirate radio, har har.. I always skipped it cause I could care less about most of the side characters, but must say rest in peace Robbie Coltrane. It is incredible the amount of times he guest starred, and such a loved character in Harry Potter.

But after that scene, we cut back to reality, Neil tring to fix the radio but gets knocked, and Helen ends up throwing the radio and silly Mike doesn’t realize she is a murderess. She keeps knocking Neil out and Mike keeps trying to put the moves on her. Then finally back to that other “plot”, Vyv’s in Rick’s bed (ooh err) gives him a purple-nurple, and literally pounces on him haha. Back downstairs, Mike suggests they eat “Breakfast in bed”, then *BOOM* down comes Rick’s over-sized bed through the ceiling, with Rick and Vyv in it. Still funny how big it is, compared to “Sick”, you can see they have little personal-sized beds. Props to them for pulling off the stunt. Makes my brain hurt seeing how that must’ve felt falling that far down. Lots of shouting from the two, throwing and Rick bouncing haha. Helen’s blocking Mike from hearing the news, while he takes it delightfully, in fact, no one is listening. 

Appears to be Neil only who slightly heard about Helen being dangerous, but before he can say much more, Vyvyan carries him up to fight Rick, who is armed with a chair, then suddenly a sound goes off. The lightbulb apparently is gone, literally as a puppet walking out the door. Rick calls out Neil for stinking so bad, but I think it’s a combo of everyone’s smell, look at Rick! Lol Might be the only time they’ve used animation on a puppet.

Another moment of Neil complaining he does all the work, then Rick says something mentioned in another episode as well “What about *name of musical guest*?” He did this in the party episode “Interesting” too. It’s like they’re acting like the bands already live in the flat, or Rick has magic powers: any band he mentions appears, or their door is always open to strangers? More possibilities there too lol. The musical guest here is Amazulu, jazzy ska type music. Not too bad, in fact for a period the song was stuck in my head for days. Have learned the band would usually play a faster version of their songs to help with run time, or maybe more time for the “plot” lol. Fun song with seeing the guys dance to it. Rick being unsure how to and then talks to SPG is great, or literally talking to himself, being the same voice of the hamster haha.

Vyv and Rick sneak through on the stage to grab wood for the next bit, (with clearly Rick hitting on the lead singer haha) and then the song ends. Awfully nice of Vyv calling them “sweet”, but then he and Rick show them the door. So it’s Rick, Vyv, and Mike standing together on a ladder and Neil on a piece of wood they carried over. They go ranting on random meaningless stuff, with Neil questioning why they couldn’t have used the ladder to change the lightbulb, but Rick stops the chaotic talking to just get on with it.But then he has to say “for Cliff’s sake” haha oh Rick. And great, a poop joke, wouldn’t be the show without those. So they all jump, Neil goes flying through the ceiling, ouch. They’re gonna have to get it fixed! Awfully nice of the guys to try and pull Neil down, instead of leaving him to fend for himself. 

A reminder of how nasty they are, as they’re pulling Neil’s legs, they find cornflakes in his shoes to hide from Vyv. Then of course Rick reminds us he puts sticky labels on his belongings, but then Vyvy just eats them. He really must be related to Eddie of ‘Bottom’, who doesn’t mind eating or drinking anything bahaha. They pull anyways, and Neil crashes down with a new lightbulb, until Vyv smashes it on Neil’s head, who goes unconscious again. The Vyvy returns chasing Rick haha. 

Mike tries to pull the moves again on Helen, who decided to leave, and as she hits the door, it falls on her! *gasp*

Knocked down by a horse and door, in walks.. a knight. Sure, cause anything is possible. 

We learn he’s very easy-going and peaceful, until hitting Neil unconscious.. I don’t know.

But we go right upstairs, Vyvyan’s still after tormenting Rick, and happened to find some anti-tank gun, and shoots comedically at Rick. All the shots miss, and cuts to some townspeople from the same era as the knight…. who carries passed out Helen and Neil over. Neil falls in mud. Shot booms and hits the people, who then get angry and blame Neil and chase after him. Good plot.

Then the famous picture happens here, as Vyv and Rick conclude their.. whatever you’d call that, Rick has a “I AM A VIRGIN” sign on his neck, and apparently pays Vyv for being wrong? Or maybe for all the damage they caused to the house lol.. but not paying for the shirt he has to get made saying he’s a virgin. Oh Rick, we still love you. Suddenly Neil is back home, panicking about what just happened. They all suddenly realize there was a time-warp. Oh no, they’ve been warped to the Middle Ages! Rick’s reaction is hilarious, looking delighted at living in the past.. but then they realize no telly existed back then! One of the best lines comes from Neil, “Oh, no! I'll die if I miss Scooby Doo!”

Everyone runs around and “panic” means to hang Neil up, I got nothing… but still the telly works?

I always skipped this part, Alexi’s characters for me, some are interesting to keep watching (like Mr Balowski) but then some like the jester character here and, the guy from “Interesting”, the party ep, I lost interest. So it’s a medividal game show basically, with Helen on it, and even the woman that appeared in Bottom in the dating episode. Always wild to see the same people pop up in the same shows.

But finally near the end, their tv watching is interrupted by the angry mob, then in typical young ones fashion, it ends.. the boys could care less  about being in danger and end up playing cards, as the mob wanders around the house, and Neil gets bonked, THE END!

Typical crazy episode, seems to be low on most Young Ones episode ranking lists, and I don’t know, I consider it underrated, but I can see why some would prefer other eps, funnier lines or the music group.. At times, not much happened in this ep, but I feel it made me laugh more than “Boring” did. It’s a classic Vyv and Rick fight, Mike does quite a bit, and even Neil has some happy moments; it’s an ep that deserves to not be forgotten! Hope you enjoyed me review.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 11

Cult Girl goes on a little solo excursion while Hannibal works.

@wisesandwichshark @pearlstiare

Trigger warnings: (fake) blood, mentions of death overseas, anti-choice harassment, discussion of abortion

Archie and Max leaving the picture was a problem you couldn't bring yourself to deal with when you awoke the next day. You anticipated a massive downward spiral if you didn't do something for yourself and fast. You'd spent so much time worrying about your schoolwork and your baby that it was long past due.

You made a couple of phone calls and found a GameStop a little out of the way with a used copy of Pokémon Alpha Sapphire for sale. About twenty minutes drive. Hannibal had back-to-back appointments clogging up his day, so it gave you an excuse to go on a little excursion.

You climbed into your car, picked an extensive playlist of your favorite songs and set off. You plugged the directions into your phone and let the map guide you. The roads narrowed as you watched your surroundings grow less and less familiar.

Soon enough, you pulled into a parking lot. Nestled between a Planned Parenthood and a used bookstore, the GameStop beckoned you. At the end of your tunnel vision was that game and nothing could stop you from getting it.

Certainly not from lack of trying.

"Stop right there!" A voice said. It chuckled, trying to make the rude interruption seem friendly.

An obstacle appeared in your line of sight: a plain-looking middle-aged white woman with dyed blonde hair. Just your garden variety Karen.

"Can I help you?" You said, giving your voice a distinct, annoyed bite.

She smiled, though not without discomfort. "Are you going, y'know, in there?"

She gestured to the building behind you. Uncertain of what she wanted or why she was making a trip to the GameStop so weird, you answered in the affirmative.

"Yeah, why?"

She wrapped her hand around your arm, as if to restrain you. Her touch made your skin crawl.

"I really don't think you should go in there."

You finally put the pieces together. This lady was just some anti-choice maniac, waiting outside a Planned Parenthood for any random pregnant woman to approach.

"Yeah, I totally carried this baby for five months just to get rid of it within a week of the legal termination threshold." You rolled your eyes. "I just want it to feel the maximum possible amount of pain when I destroy it."

The woman's face turned into one of abject horror and you smiled, feeling proud of yourself. You yanked your arm from her hand with full intent to walk away. That should have been the end of it.

"Wait!" She shouted, snatching you by the shoulder. "Please, reconsider. God gave you that little one because he wants you to be a mommy!"

"For the love of fuck, woman." You snarled. "Can you seriously not pick up on sarcasm? I'm not even going to the clinic. I'm going to the GameStop."

She wasn't convinced. "See, I think you're lying to me. I think you're telling me one thing and then you're gonna do another thing."

"What the hell is it any of your business, Karen?" You scowled at her. "Leave me alone!"

"Just pray about it, please!" She pleaded. "What if your baby grows up to be a soldier? Protecting your freedom?"

"Oh, then I should definitely kill it now." You snarked. "Would save him the trouble of getting blown up by other Americans in a senseless war like my dad."

Adda girl, [F/N]! You thought to yourself. Nothing gets nosy strangers to go away quite like revealing even more personal information!

She put both her hands on your protruding belly. "Don't worry, angel. Mommy isn't going to kill you! Aunt Laurie won't allow it!"

You vaguely remembered your obstetrician saying something about how twenty-week fetuses could hear the outside world. You weren't planning on subjecting the kid to violence this early on, but desperate times call for desperation.

You grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her down. She screamed, getting the attention of a few onlookers.

"Help!" She wailed, lying on the ground as if she couldn't get up. "I'm being attacked!"

You dashed as quickly as your legs could carry you into the GameStop. The lone cashier, a purple-haired girl with a nose ring, pretended that she hadn't been watching the altercation and looked back down at her sandwich.

"Welcome to GameStop." She said, hesitantly. "Are you... [F/N]?"

You nodded. "Yeah, I'm here for that copy of Alpha Sapphire."

"Tubular." She rummaged in a drawer beside her for the envelope.

A rather massive eevee plush displayed behind the counter caught your eye. "How much for her?"

The cashier placed the game on the counter and looked back at the massive eevee. "Fourty-four ninety-five."

"I'll take her too." You said.

The cashier pulled the eevee down from the shelf and scanned its tag.

"Aight, your total is sixty-nine eighty." She said.

"Nice." You snickered, reaching for your credit card.

The cashier smirked as you inserted the chip. "Hey, was that crazy lady accosting you outside?"

"I take it she does that a lot?" You asked.

She heaved a sigh. "You have no idea."

You looked behind at the large windows and saw the woman standing outside the door, waiting for you. You felt like a caged animal. Your eyes scanned the room and landed on a couple ketchup packets. A sick idea formed in your head.

"Are you gonna use those?" You asked, pointing to them.

The cashier glanced at the woman and raised her eyebrow. "Not if you have a better use for them."

The bell jangled as you walked out of the store with a shopping bag around your wrist and a ketchup packet in each hand. Just as suspected, the woman grabbed your arm.

"Oh, honey!" She exclaimed. "Before you leave, god put it on my mind to say a little prayer for the unborn soldier he's gifted you in your womb."

"I'd rather you not." You said, trying to yank your arm out of her surprisingly strong grip.

"You're brave, but foolish, girl." She barked, positioning herself in front of you. You fidgeted with the ketchup packets behind your back, opening them just enough.

The woman put both her hands on your belly. The second you felt her touch, you threw yourself backwards. You landed, not without pain, squarely on your ass.

"Oh my?" The woman covered her mouth with her fingertips. "Are you--"

You leaned forward and moaned in pain, clutching your baby bump with one hand while drenching your shorts in ketchup with the other. You pretended to cave around the pain, then threw yourself back, revealing a bloody stain leaking from between your legs. The woman shrieked.

"Oh my fucking god!" The cashier from the store said, rushing to your side. She put her hand on your shoulder and glared at the woman. "What did you do?!?"

"She pushed me and I think it hurt my baby!" You wailed.

"Holy shit, why would you hurt her baby?!" The cashier shouted, allowing you to slink your arm around her shoulder for support. She then snatched your shopping bag from the ground.

"I didn't mean to, honest!" She said, on the verge of tears. "I was just trying to spread god's love and joy-"

"By assaulting a pregnant woman?!" The cashier yelled. You were clutching your stomach in fake pain. She helped you to your feet. "Come on, let's get you to the clinic."

You conjured up some fake tears. "You killed my baby!"

"You wicked woman!" She cried out. Her voice faded out as you approached the clinic. "You don’t deserve a baby!"

You kept up the crying and wailing until you arrived at the Planned Parenthood. More interested in covering her own ass than begging for forgiveness, the crazy woman made herself scarce. Entering the clinic with an incriminating bloodstain on your pants was awkward, for a moment. But it was easy enough to explain and even earned a laugh or two from the doctors on staff.

Once you were completely certain the crazy lady had left, you scooped up your shopping bag, said goodbye to the cashier and climbed into the car.

Before you put the key in the ignition, you took a moment. You took a moment to do something you knew you shouldn't have.

You placed your hand on your belly and stroked it. "We make a pretty good team, huh?"

You didn't know why you paused. It wasn't like the fetus was going to answer.

"Sorry you had to see that." You said. "Or, I guess, hear that. I wish I could tell you that people aren't really like that in real life, but I can't. Either that or I'm just a magnet for insane people. Hope that it's not genetic."

It just occurred to you that, if your obstetrician was right, the fetus heard everything that you said about killing it. Logically speaking, you knew it wasn't developed enough to comprehend what you were saying, but you still felt like you owed it an apology.

"Hey, scamp." You said, appropriating a nickname your grandfather gave you. "I'm sorry that I talked all that shit back there. About killing you and whatnot. I don't want to kill you. I actually want you to live an amazing life."

Just then, you felt a kick. The doctor war right: there was no mistaking it. The baby kicked.

Your mouth hung dumbly open, delight and fear chasing each other around in your mind. "Holy crap!"

You drove home as fast as legally possible. You needed to get home. As you pulled into the driveway, you noticed that Hannibal's car wasn't there.

He'll be home any minute, you thought. Might as well stay out here to catch him when he arrives.

That was an hour ago. Not that you'd noticed. You would have sat in that car, talking to your baby for an eternity. It wasn't until you heard a tapping on the window did you exit your trance.

Hannibal examined the scene. The ketchup, the massive eevee and his suddenly very chatty fiancée shooting the breeze with her fetus. He smirked.

"Did we have a fun afternoon?"

[drdemonprince]

i feel that self-conceiving as a brat has unlocked for me a whole new understanding of all the traits about me that i thought were overbearing, controlling, annoying, needy, and overly sensitive. the idea that instead of tamping down my prickliest qualities or recasting them as some form of professional dominance i could instead just express them naturally and that some people might find them cute and attractive??? groundbreaking. 

this is also a really interesting potential avenue for soothing my abject TERROR at being seen as ‘childish’ or ‘pathetic’ or ‘immature’. brats can just... be those things and it can be cute / provoke getting attention in a desired way rather than being a thing that makes you annoying as fuck or pushy and unlovable. 

i said something kind of unnecessarily bitchy the other day, the kind of thing that used to set Nick off and really hurt his feelings deeply. i was always accidentally making observations in a really flat tone that sounded sarcastic/judgemental to him, and then having to spiral to apologize for it because he’d sulk and withdraw. but this time, the friend i said it to was just like, you’re such a brat. and then he sent me an animated gif of tinkerbell that said “spoiled brat” on it in glitter font. and it was like oh yeah. cute. im not a machiavellian control freak supervillain who is evil and cant help but hurt people and steamroll things. i’m a lil brat. thats a cute reframe. 

my sister has been bullying me for being a brat my whole life, really! i used to not understand why even as the eldest child with 5 years on her she never fucking respected my authority, but lol i just never have actually had an authoritative energy im just a lil scamp >:(  GOD i really am going to write an essay about being a brat, god help us all. i need to contemplate this orb a bit more but ... it is a new and maybe healing avenue for navel gazing, which i love. the idea that the qualities i have labored the most to hide or recast as useful and respectable over the years might be part of my natural appeal both sexually and platonically, thats fun to consider. i always thought being a brat was like, putting on a stupid performance of being difficult just for the hell of it, but its like no, everything that has gotten me called one so far, by a variety of people lately without prompting, is just me being myself 

i understand how fucking precious and INSUFFERABLE it is when people start talking about how like D/s shit healed them but idfk man it’s fun to feel good and wanted and to have new ways to see myself and i am playing w it. rotating the cubes. wish there was a better term for any of this shit than brat tho i do hate it 

[blue-ravens]

CharHawk + modern highschool AU or coffee shop AU whichever cliche you find more tolerable :P

high school au!! oh gosh yes.

1. right so i don't know who else out there and on the air is familiar with 'gilmore girls' but these two are the original rory gilmore and paris geller.

think about it

one's smart, loveable and charming, raised by a single adoring parent, beloved by everyone in the small new england town they call home, and other's a prickly, stuck up know it all from a never-seen family, politely considered uptight and rudely considered a bitch. and oh my god they were classmates.

2. charles is the one with the top grades, all the extra-curriculars that matter, the family name, the best clothes, the letterman jacket, the polo pony, the car, the stock portfolio, the dream of the harvard acceptance letter, and... no friends. and now there's this wildly likeable and charismatic happy go lucky scamp with a bright smile and a gpa to match, and charles may have no friends but is never short on enemies, and this no name nobody from nowhere just made the list. this barely bothers hawkeye because he has the friends and the parties and the grades and not in possession of a singular fuck to give about that tall drink of water with a silver spoon up his ass over there brooding by the window backlit by the sun just so and

okay maybe a fuck or two has been given

3. so of course there is the dreaded group project. by some contrived set of circumstances the scene is so tensely set at charles' house and it's very clearly from the instant hawkeye walks in the double oak doors into what can be best described as an art museum masquerading as a family house that so much is explained about his classmate. it's very apparent that the only human contact charles seems to have at home is his younger sister and the housekeeper. in that second he promises that next time will be at *his* house because he's not even sure his classmate has ever seen a slice of takeaway pizza much less been around a parental figure who'd happily order one, and that's the least he can offer. of course he won't stoop to pity, because while they are declared enemies he does know enough about him that pity will go wasted and unwanted. but now he understands. and it might actually be possible to LIKE him. he's funny. he's smart. he actually does care about stuff when he wants to. and oh god when he's in the group chat with peg and bj later he is NOT going to mention that he finds him CUTE because he'll never hear the end of it.

4. they bicker. they argue. they bring out the best in each other. they're competitive and there are pranks and there are also the moments when the rivalry isn't so rivalry-ish. at some point they just... get each other. neither knows how or why, but while they still butt heads over nearly everything and have entirely different motives, they both wish for the same things. i could really like you. more than i should. i really could love you. maybe it takes a 'i never told you anything before' moment. a moment of mutual understanding, the 'oh. you are like me more than i realised'. that.

and i bet that's at a party they've gatecrashed and someone donna spiked the punch.

maybe.

5. it's a given they'd both be pretty much neck and neck for the valedictorian prize at graduation but it doesn't really seem so important because something else and something far better was gained. and i'm not uhhh saying summer roadtrip with new friends and several fulfilling life experiences, but oh to hell with it, i definitely am.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Of Monsters and Men

Chapter 8- Bottled Appetites

Summary: A peaceful day can turn sour so fast, but alas, it still never fails to bring you adventure. Whether you’re ready for it or not.

Warnings: Jaskier being stubit, blood, Geralt being a hottie, a bit of smut

Masterlist

Today couldn't be more beautiful, the sun is shining her grand radiance and the forest is full of life as you listen to the singing of birds from your comfortable spot on a large tree branch that's hanging over top of Geralt. He's currently focused intently on fishing out a djinn to hopefully cure his sleep apnea that's been really bothering him as of late. Well, that's at least the reasoning he's claimed.

You've tried to help him with herbs, potions, and more sensual physical activities. But nothing has appeared to work, so here he is, grumpier then usual as he throws a fishing net into the river in hopes that he'll snag himself a djinn in a bottle.

Laying your back against the long branch, one of your legs swings casually back and forth as you listen to your surroundings. Your stomach growls from lack of any sufficient food in the last two days when your ears suddenly hear the tell tale singing of a certain bard as he strolls through the woodland in search of his long time friends, "Cause you all know. That this bard. Loved ladies from Nilfgaard. 'Cause Nilfgaard can kiss my..." Sings the bard as he wanders down the trail until his eyes land on your Witcher, "Geralt! Hello. What's it been months? Years? What is time, anyway? I heard you and Y/N...wherever she is....were in town.' His voice is just as cheerful and upbeat as you'd remembered, "Are you following me, you scamp? I mean I'm flattered and everything, but I think that feisty lady of yours may start to get jealous." Rambles Jaskier as he takes out his flask.

He takes a small sip before offering it to Geralt, who ignores him, Jaskier shakes this off and keeps to his questioning when suddenly you drop down from seemingly out of nowhere. Doing a fantastic job at scaring the shit out of Jaskier in your abrupt arrival, he yelps before stumbling back a few feet. "Dear gods Y/N have you been just hanging around in the treetops like some type of...of..bat?" He stammers breathlessly, a hand over his thudding heart.

Smirking at him you throw him a quick wink, "Only for you my humble bard." He stands up straight as a light blush dusts his cheeks as you turn to follow Geralt down the side of the river path, while he searches for a better spot to catch this djinn, Jaskier trailing behind you both.

"Geralt, you're fantastic at a great many things, but clearly, fishing is not one of them. Have you caught anything today? What are you fishing for, exactly?" Intrudes Jaskier as Geralt fiddles with his netting while you lean against a tree, "Is it cod? Carp?" He looks to you for a second before his attentions back on Geralt, "Pike? Bream? I'm just....I'm just listing off fish that I know. Zander? Is that a fish?" Wonders the bard as he raises a brow at you.

You simply shrug, "He's not fishing, can't sleep." Jaskier nods, not sure what to do with that information.

"Right. Good. Well, that...makes sense. In so much that it sort of...doesn't." Frowns Jaskier as he suddenly looks a bit more worried, "What's going on Geralt, talk to me."

Geralt stops before letting out a tired sigh as he looks to Jaskier, "A djinn." Is all he admits before he's back to grappling with his net.

You watch as Jaskier's face scrunches up in deep confusion, "A what?"

"I'm looking for a djinn." Grumbles Geralt as the bards face looks even more puzzled then before.

Then all at once it seems that he's finally connected the dots, a smirk breaking upon his face as he sets his hands onto either hip, "For a dj....for a djinn? A dj...like a genie?" Laughs Jaskier as he wiggles his fingers in a playful manner, "The floaty fellas with the....the bad tempers and the banned magics, that kind of genie?"

Geralt stand up once again, a hard expression across his brow while Jaskier fails at concealing his laughter, "Yes. It'll grant me wishes. It's in this river somewhere. And I can't FUCKING SLEEP!" Snaps Geralt, golden eyes glowing even brighter as his anger boils over.

Geralt glances to you for a brief moment before turning and walking further down the river path, the bard follows suite as you trail behind them, amused at Jaskier's continuous rambling about his latest adventures and the possible reason why Geralt is so sleep deprived.

"Have you ever considered why you may be feeling this way hm, let's say...oh I don't know, we find the root of the problem. I mean, maybe, just maybe this whole sleeplessness-ness has got something to do with what the druid Mousesack said to you guys in Cintra? You know, the Law of Surprise? Destiny? Being unable to escape the child that belongs to you, et cetera, et cetera?" Inquires Jaskier as you watch Geralt prepare to throw in the net.

"No! Y/N was there too and she's fine....this is something else." Grumbles your Witcher as he throws his net into the waters below.

Jaskier looks from you to Geralt, hands on his hips the whole time, "Yeah, you're probably right. But what if you're not? You know, the Countess de Stael once said to me...that destiny is just the embodiment of the soul's desire to grow." Explains Jaskier he walks past you to sit down on a log.

A small laugh escapes from your lips as you turn to the bard, "Did you sing to her before she left?" You honestly couldn't help yourself, pushing Jaskier's buttons is just a solid talent of yours.

He looks out at the water, "I did, actually, and she.." His head quickly turns to you once he realizes what that comment suggested, "Why, what are you implying?" Wonders Jaskier as he tilts his head to you, a smirk breaks out upon your face as you then bite your lip to keep silent. He gets up from the log, an abashed expression crossing his features, "Oh, we are so having this conversation. Come on, Y/N. Geralt. Tell me. Be honest. How's my singing?"

You cross your arms over your chest while casually looking out at the river and pretend that he hasn't even said anything, although you're certain Geralt on the other hand will add his two cents. He tosses his net out into the water once again before turning to Jaskier, "It's like ordering a pie and finding it has no filling." Deadpans Geralt as you burst with laughter, Jaskier looking rather taken aback as his eyes go wide in surprise.

"You need a nap! I mean are you trying to hurt my feelings, Geralt? It's...it's down-downright indecorous of you, if I'm completely honest, and.." He quickly loses interest once Geralt unveils a bottle from his net, "Wow. Wow. What is...what is that?" Questions Jaskier as Geralt holds the djinn bottle in his muddy hands, you hover over his shoulder as you stare at the thing in amazement. It doesn't look like much but the wizards seal on the bottles cork is truly telling, too bad it doesn't have a three course meal inside.

"It's a wizards seal. The djinn." Geralt confirms softly as he studies the enchanted bottle until Jaskier suddenly grabs onto the bottles other handle.

"Do you mind if I...."

"Jaskier." Snaps Geralt as you stand back to watch, deciding it more entertaining if you don't intervene.

The bard points an accusing finger in his direction, "Take it back about my filling-less pie. Take it back, you get your djinny-djinn-djinn."

Rolling your crimson eyes you set a hand on your hip, "Let go Jask."

He turns to you with a fake sneer before snapping his attention back to your stoic Witcher, "No! No, you let go, you horse's arse!" Suddenly the bottle slips from Geralt's hand as he looks down at the cork in his fist, a confused expression on his handsome features as nothing appears to happen around either of them.

Jaskier studies the bottle in his hand, looking rather disappointed, "That's a bit of an anticlimax." He mutters dismally at the boring turn of events, although you can't help but notice as a soft supernatural whispering begins to make itself known to your hypersensitive ears, then right on cue does the wind begin to pick up, the woods feeling a bit darker as the clouds go grey up above, "Or is it?" He says excitedly as he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

Crossing your arms over your chest, your nerves prick at the odd change in the atmosphere, "Shit." You mumble while Jaskier walks past Geralt, he gives you a sour look as you grimace in knowing annoyance.

Standing on the edge of the riverbank, Jaskier points to the sky, "Djinn, I have freed thee, and as of this day, I am thy lord. Firstly, may Valdo Marx the troubadour of Cidaris, be struck down with apoplexy and die. Secondly, the Countess de Stael must welcome me back with glee, open arms and very little clothing. Thirdly..." Geralt quickly pulls him back in an attempt to shut him up before something terrible happens to him.

"Jaskier! Stop. There are only three wishes." Warns Geralt as you stand next to him, the both of you staring the bard down like two disappointed parents.

"You're a fucking idiot, Jask." You add bluntly as he simply rolls his blue eyes, unbothered by this djinn considering his two friends are a Witcher and dhampire.

"Only three wishes!" Grumbles Geralt as Jaskier observes his agitated demeanor.

"Oh, come on, you got Y/N, she's quite literally the best thing that's ever happened to you...how was I to know you wanted three wishes all to yourself?" Shouts the bard over the loud enchanted winds that are rapidly starting to build, ones that are rocking the tree branches and leaves every which way, as well as your hair.

"I just want some damn peace!" Bellows Geralt in frustration.

"Well, here's your peace!" Snaps Jaskier before idiotically smashing the bottle upon the ground in a blind moment of irritation.

Geralt quickly squats down to pick up the broken shards as you reach down to do the same, while picking them up he accidentally cuts himself on a sharp edge. You can instantly smell the blood, and though you haven't given into darker temptations in a long while. You're rather hungry from lack of coin to pay for any such meals that would gladly satisfy you, and right now it feels too much.

Snapping away from Geralt, you stand to your full height as you finally notice how sickly peculiar Jaskier is starting to appear, "Uh Y/N.." Gasps the bard breathlessly as he holds a hand to his throat, "Y/N...it's the djinn!" Stammers Jaskier as he points towards the river, you snap your attention to find a wispy black and purple mass racing for the three of you over the water.

Your eyes go wide in startled bewilderment, "Geralt!" You shout just as he stands and uses his magic to propel the creature back where it decides to take off into the sky.

Your Witcher stares up at the horizon as you catch the enthralling scent of blood once more, god you should really have eaten some berries or at least stolen something earlier to avoid this terrible primal hunger. You look over to Jaskier who's not looking too hot, a tiny trail of blood seeps out of the side of his mouth, his neck forming an unnatural lump as he wheezes in pain.

Geralt snaps his golden eyes down to the panicking bard, "Jaskier." He speaks before Jask leans over, a ruby red spurt of blood bursting from out of his mouth as he tries to gasp for breath, "Y/N?" Pleads Geralt in hopes that you can help him somehow. Though you're certain that if you would get any closer, you may break and give into your deeper vampiric desires that you've held at bay for so long. The part of you that has forever kept yourself from ever truly feeling human.

Shaking your head you flicker your eyes over to him, "I...I can't....I'm too starved....I'm sorry." You breath out, taking a cautious step back, the scent of Jaskier's warm blood on the breeze is enough to make your mouth water.

He purses his lips together, knowing that you can't do much for the time being, "Fuck." Grumbles Geralt as he quickly picks up Jaskier before booking it down the trail for Roach.

——

You follow in the form of a pack of bats close behind your boys as Geralt leads Roach to a small camp in the woods. You watch as he yells in question for a doctor, Jaskier slumped to the side as he leans into Geralt's broad back. Quickly a soldier confirms that an elven healer is inside, you land on a large firm tree branch, turning back into your original form as you watch them scurry into the grand white tent.

You focus your hearing and learn that if Jaskier's wounds are not treated by proper magic remedies, then he will certainly die. A pang of worry strikes you at the thought of your bard gone, and you do feel quite terrible knowing that he's in so much pain. But to your great or at least somewhat relief does the elf give Jaskier a pain relieving liquid concoction, thus explaining that a malicious and cunning mage is imprisoned in the mayor's house in the next town over who could heal the bards wounds.

A prominent feeling of uneasiness and caution surges throughout you at the thought of meeting another mage after months of evading any at all. Soon enough they quickly exit the tent and find themselves upon Roach's back before they take off in the direction of the closest town. With a heavy sigh you jump from the tree, shifting into a pack of whimsical black bats as you fly after Geralt throughout the tree tops and evening sky.

You're flight feels short lived as a couple miles later does Geralt finally find the large brick house of the mayor, its a rather beautiful place positioned on the edge of a huge lake with woods comfortably surrounding it. Roach gallops onto the gravel road when suddenly a tough half bald bearded man walks up to them. He gives them a hard time before Geralt abruptly knocks him out with a sack of coins, much to your amusement.

He takes Roach to the stables as you fly downward towards the ground, just as Geralt walks out of the barn with Jaskier dangling over his shoulder, you hastily shift back into your more presentable self. He gives you a nod of acknowledgment before a stern and determined look appears onto his hard features as he practically strides towards the closest wooden door. You follow behind as you clench your fists together in an attempt at distracting yourself from your ever growing hunger, the blood seeping out of Jaskier's mouth smells sweet as fresh berries as it wafts into your nostrils.

He wheezes in pain with every step that Geralt takes down the wine filled hallway which is enough to keep yourself from doing anything you'll regret later. He walks through a doorway before gently setting Jaskier onto the kitchen table, you follow in after him, your crimson eyes going wide as they find a naked man holding a brown shiny jug. He stares in awe at the three of you just as he drops his jug onto the stone floor below.

What the fuck?

A large drunken half smile makes its way onto his face, "Velcome...to my vome." Cheerfully announces the grey haired naked man, his arms spread wide in greeting, other parts of him also hanging out to your great disgust.

"You're the Mayor of Rinde?" Wonders Geralt as he looks to Jaskier.

Looking anywhere but the man, you throw a hand up before resting it onto your hip, "Our day has already been weird enough, why not meet a naked man in his home to top it all off, huh?" You jest with a nervous laugh, almost certain that this fool has been enchanted. He has to be, right?

The bard makes more wheezing sounds as Geralt's brow furrows in worry, "Uh, it there a mage that lives here?" The naked man turns to something sitting near Jaskier as his face shifts to that of realization.

"Ah. De apple jvuce. She vants some. And she alvays gets...vhat she vants." Whispers the man with a telling nod, oh yes he is without a doubt under some type of spell.

Geralt turns a confused eye to you, "I don't understand. Does he want me to get him the apple juice?" You turn your eyes back to the man as he goes to sit down in a chair, you look back to Geralt with a shrug, "No idea? Let's just find this fucking mage." You grumble as Jaskier tries to nod.

Your Witcher grabs the apples juice and the scruff of the bards baby blue jacket as he goes to walk into the nearest doorway. You turn back to the naked potbellied man only to be greeted with his loud snores, shaking your head you amble after your boys. As you follow closely behind Geralt you look down to notice as a greenish mist cascades out from under the closed door. He quickly pulls it open as more billows out and into the hallway, there's nothing on the other side but an ascending staircase, to the left another closed doorway that seems to have even more of the mist coming from it.

It's strange, you can hear muffled moaning on the other side and the rapid beating of many loud heartbeats. Your questions are quickly answered as the two of them walk into the next open doorway only to stumble upon a massive orgy. You keep behind the wall as you crinkle your nose in disgust at the strong scent of sex, sweat, and perfume in the air, a less than pleased expression crossing your features at the sickening toxins.

One that most likely matches Geralt's if you didn't know any better. You listen closely as he walks through the moaning crowd before he plops Jaskier next to someone, you feel almost sick from lack of food and the smell of this place is just about driving you mad. But you can't face the mage, something just doesn't feel right.

You listen as he speaks to her, your heart falling into your throat as she replies back, that voice, you haven't heard that voice in decades. But how? How could she be here of all places to be? Shaking your thoughts from your mind you eves drop in on their conversation until she begins to give him a hard time about payment, sounding rather too sensual for your liking.

"It's spreading, fix it. And I'll pay you. Whatever the price." Mutters Geralt to the familiar mage as he looks up at her from his spot near the small stairway that she's standing on.

"You'll have to do better then juice." Answers the mage slyly as she contemplates this intriguing new proposition.

"Yennefer." She stops in her tracks, her body tense as realization crosses her masked face, "Don't be difficult." You add as Geralt steps to the side, a confused expression on his face as he looks from you to Yennefer and back to you again.

She takes a step down, a small smirk adoring her ruby red lips as she looks you over, "Now this...is a surprise, how long's it been? I honestly wasn't certain that our paths would ever cross again, I was almost hoping they wouldn't....but alas. Here you are....it's good to see you Y/N." She smiles, studying your bloodshot eyes due to your increase in hunger, she smiles, "You look, famished." Concludes the mage with a tilt of her head.

You slightly shrug, "What a kind way to say I look like I'm halfway into hell....now, save him before he bleeds anymore."

She smiles, looking down at the djinn's bottle cap, "As you command, princess Y/N." Quips Yennefer with a smirk as she looks around the room, "Ragamuffin!" And just like that the mass orgy stops, the participating villagers snapping back to reality in the process. They quickly scramble to cover themselves as Yennefer looks to the two of you, nodding for you three to follow her to where she can heal Jaskier.

——

After clearing out half the pantry and about two small bottles of wine, you're finally satiated and no more half starved. You casually sit on the kitchen table as Geralt stares at the floor in worry for the bard and in deep questioning thought about how the hell you know Yennefer. You could practically cut the tension with a knife, but then much to your relief she comes walking down the steps.

Calmly announcing that Jaskier is in a deep healing sleep, and that you both urgently need a bath, something you wholeheartedly agree on. She hands the both of you some clean clothes as she directs you into the direction of the bathhouse, going elsewhere to give you both some privacy.

You walk into the steamy warm room as Geralt shuts the door, locking it as you start to unlace your top, "Y/N how do you know..."

"Ask me when I'm in the bath, then I'll indulge you for some of my hidden past....dealings." You interrupt with the flash of a smile before throwing off your top and bra. You face away from him as you kick off your boots, quickly shimmying out of your dark pants and undergarments as you stand stark naked by the heated pool.

Turning a quick glance behind you, your eyes catch Geralt's as his golden irises trail down your body, he looks away as an embarrassed grin makes its way onto his handsome face. You smile to yourself, turning to lower your tired vessel into the steaming waters. Sighing in pleasure at how the bath feels blessedly nice after many moons of going without a proper clean.

You close your eyes as your sit peacefully by the waters edge, a smirk playing at your lips as Geralt's muscular body gets in after you. You listen intently as he lets himself enjoy the warmth before some water swishes and he's pressed firmly against your side. An arm draped over your shoulder as his other one leans against the cool stony edge, you can just tell that he's taking you all in even as his mind swirls with questions.

"Y/N? What did you get into before you met me....or I guess what type of trouble? Although I do happen to recall your hatred for wizards and mages alike." Mutters your Witcher as he looks down at your relaxed form, your body but a nude distortion under the clear waters of the pool.

Humming in acknowledgment, you open a scarlet eye to look up at him as you give him a small smile, you can tell that if it wasn't for how curious he is at the moment, he'd without a doubt be turning you into a moaning mess by the waters edge within minutes, "I know Yennefer because...I....well I was a type of courier in Aretuza for many years." His dark brows furrow in thought, not sure what you're getting at so you continue, "The mage academy, I traveled there because I searched for the aid of the mages, you see, I had found a farm girl who was bitten by a werewolf and survived. Her father said he would pay me if I delivered her into their care, double if they cured her."

His hand trails tiny patterns against your arm, "And what did you do?"

"I was able to save her life, we had a week before the next full moon and a mage there had the needed remedy to reverse the lycanthropy. After that, I stayed with her there as she recovered from the whole ordeal...considering the process of taking away ones curse is a painful one." You explain as he laces a hand with your own, invested in your story with every new word coming from your lips, "In my time, I investigated the grounds...I was only two-hundred something then...I wanted to see everything. So I did, in doing so, and yes I'm aware this is going to sound quite unlike myself...but, I made a friend."

He hums, squeezing your arm gently in reply, "Her name was Tissaia de Vries, though that hardly matters now it's been so long, anyways....she appeared to like me well enough, I needed a place to cover myself from the rain, and coin to keep me alive and she knew what I was useful for. I basically became a raven, I would take precious letters, scrolls, or artifacts from Aretuza to wherever needed and vise versa. It was safer that way, no one would dare fuck with a dhampir of all travelers, and the ones who did promptly regretted it...and I got to live in the academy for free. It was perfect."

"When did you meet Yennefer?"

"Sometime after a good many years as a courier slash traveling body guard for high end royals who payed well, Tissaia had just brought her to Aretuza for the first time and while walking near her room I could smell the blood pouring out of her slashed wrists, the fool was trying to kill herself." He glances down at you, more intrigued then ever.

(Cue flashback)

"Check on piglet would you Y/N, I'll be gathering the girls for their first lesson shortly in the greenhouse. Make sure she's up." Says Tissaia as she writes something down on a piece of parchment with her quill.

Setting down some type of golden box onto one of her many counters you turn to her, "The little bird seems hardly mage material if I'm being honest....she's afraid, nervous, and ridiculously troubled...not to mention that hunched back of hers, poor things truly had it rough, now things only feel worse to her. You really know how to pick'em don't you?" You muse with a smirk as she continues to write, "Doesn't matter, everyone starts somewhere. I'll go find her, doubt she's decided to venture very far." You add before walking out the doorway and into the stony halls of the enchanted academy.

You pass by a couple mages here and there as you find your way to the novice's rooms in the lower section of the giant castle, you suddenly stop as you've successfully made it to her door. Not caring enough to knock, you swing it open as you find the sad hunchbacked girl, who's sniffling pathetically in her creaky bed, "Greetings little bird, how was your sleep?" Your voice is lively as you smile down in her direction while more dismal sniffles sound, a small half-frown graces your features as you cross your arms over your chest, "Can't say very well considering you've lost a good amount of blood, which I might add is not ideal for your first day of lessons or in general if we're being honest. You're seriously lucky I wasn't starving when I found you."

She sighs, "I don't want to do any lessons. Just leave me. You should have just let me die...at least I still had control over that." She whispers sadly, her back is still turned to you as you take another step closer.

Lightly chuckling, she turns to you, a harsh glare crossing her puffy features as you scoff, "That's hilarious. You really think that you had control? You didn't have shit little bird....you didn't have control, you were losing it." Her crooked face morphs into a frustrated glare as she thinks over your words, you simply shrug, "Now, you've survived and are very much alive whether you like it or not, it's close to the hour for your first lessons as a real mage in training, important shit for your kind. So get up little bird, it's time to fly."

She sniffles once more before giving you a downcast expression, "I can't."

Touching her shoulder in as comforting of a manner as you can muster you smile kindly down at her, "Listen, you can either let the world fuck you like a cheap whore, or you can become a dragon who does whatever the hell they please. Which is it my crooked friend? Who are you going to become?"

Slowly sitting up onto the edge of her bed, she rubs her nose, the tiniest bit of confidence flashing through her purple eyes, "A dragon." She whispers softly, a small spark of life coursing through her once again.

(End flashback)

"I had no idea, this whole time." Whispers Geralt.

You gently nudge his bare shoulder, "Yeah well you never exactly asked, and I didn't feel it important because it isn't or I guess wasn't....that is, until we happened to meet her this evening. Weirder circumstances have be felled us."

"That is true, its just, you were actual friends with mages." Says Geralt like its the most surprising thing in the world, "Now I understand how you knew Mousesack. I had always wondered about that."

"Hmm. Right, well you see and meet a lot of different people when you can't age. He's gotten greyer since the last time, Yennefer however, she still looks the same."

Geralt squeezes your hand, "And you, look even more radiant."

He looks down at you once more, the flash of something new and intriguing shinning bright in his golden eyes as they trail up and down your body. You smirk, pulling his arm from you as you position yourself in front of him, reaching your arms out to push his thighs apart. He eyes you up the whole time, hardness beginning to grow underneath the waters as you touch his shoulders, lining yourself up against him, ready to claim him completely, by just inches.

You softly kiss him, "Fuck me so that damn witch knows exactly who you belong to." His hands trail up to your sides as he pushes you down on his erect member, a low hum escaping your lips at the contact, his fullness pleasantly stretching your walls from within the steamy waters.

Geralt kisses you once more, another upon your neck as he smiles, "Such a compelling offer..." His words evade him as a moan leaves from his parted lips as you begin to ride him, the pools water swishing as you bounce. The next twenty minutes are spent fucking each other until you're one-hundred percent positive that Yennefer could hear every scream and thrust.

Just as you'd intended.

——

You stand at the foot of Jaskier's extravagant bed as Yennefer watches from the doorframe, Geralt near his side as the bard sleeps peacefully away his troubles and malevolent enchantment. Geralt looks on at him, a distraught expression crossing over his features as Yennefer asks if he doubts her capabilities. He grumbles a truthful no, as his only cause of worry is that if Jaskier never wakes up he'll feel terrible for the unkind words that were said to him before all this mess happened.

She smiles when he grumbles about her actual intentions, she simply walks past you over to her table of spices and herbs, but before she can get to it Geralt makes note of how the sign from the djinn's seal is marked upon the floor with candle wax. Her face falters as she realizes that she's been found out, you had figured something was up the moment you stepped into the room and saw it near the end of the large bed.

Leaning yourself against one of the bed posts, you listen as Geralt declares that he's going to take Jaskier now to prevent Yennefer from summoning the djinn, she smartly explains that if he does, then the spell won't take. So you're all essentially stuck until Jaskier is healed, whenever that may be. She turns to open a tiny bottle of oil on her stand, nonchalantly rubbing it into the skin of her wrist as she magically sets the summoning circle candles on fire, an enchanted burst of wind sending the drapes of the bed flying and flapping into the air, your hair as well.

This doesn't sit right with your Witcher at all, especially when she asks how many wishes he has made, Geralt doesn't give her a direct answer until he lets slip that Jask has only used two wishes. Her face perks up at this news, she gives you a mischievous wink before walking over to Geralt, who looks like something strange is happening to him.

You can smell the scent of lilac and gooseberries wafting throughout the room as she walks closer to him, "Tough to get in your head. You have a strong will, but you can't contend with me." You suddenly feel rather sleepy as Geralt looks down at her in anger, instead of helping him, you sit down on the bed and try your best to listen, "Sorry I couldn't be more direct, I knew you two would fight it. And I do love a good old-fashioned trap." She muses as your eyelids begins to grow heavy, a yawn leaving your mouth as you rest a hand against the soft inviting mattress.

So soft, so tired, how'd you get so sleepy?

Against everything in you that's screaming for you to stay awake to stop Yennefer, you feel utterly relaxed, so much so that instead of helping Geralt to stay conscious. You lay yourself on the giant bed, you blearily stare up at the dark wooden ceiling in false content, everything feels so warm and lovely. The room swirls and shifts as you tiredly close your crimson eyes, the sweet enchanting scent of lilac lulling you into a deep and blissful slumber.

Breathing in sharply, you stretch in the soft bed as your eyes finally open to the morning light pouring out from the two giant glass windows on either side of the bed. You're laying on your left side so as you focus better, you're surprised to find Jaskier laying on his back next to you. This is definitely not Geralt, so how did you get here?

Oh right, Yennefer.

Quickly sitting yourself up you look to the end of the bed where Yennefer is sitting, topless as she rubs something onto her bare abdomen. Your brows furrow as you stare at her back, "What the fuck are you doing?" You question, no heat really in your words, you're honestly more confused then anything at the moment.

Without looking at you she starts, "I need the djinn Y/N, this is how I intend to take it."

Sliding off of the side of the bed, you walk around so that you can lean against the wooden beam to see what she's getting at, "That's rather vague Yenn, but if I was to make an educated guess from my clever sleuthing, or just general understanding of how that clapping monkey of a brain works. I'd say you're trying to summon the fucker so your last wish may be for a child in your womb. Nice tattoo by the way, very original." You nod to the dark colored insignia on her lower abdomen in the shape of the female reproductive system, who would have guessed she was such as artist.

She glances at you for a second, anger slowly building in her chest, "How very clever indeed Y/N, even in old age does your mind stay as sharp as a tack." Her tone is bluntly sarcastic, but you stay unaltered by her jest.

You tilt your head at her, "Djinn's are finicky creatures, I wouldn't try and do exactly what I think you're going to do."

"And what is that?" She snaps, her eyes focused ahead.

Rolling your eyes you let out an irritated huff of air, "Become the djinn's physical vessel, its suicide...and you know it. Even the most powerful of mages cannot harness the true strength and imperium of the djinn, what would compel you to attempt this? What will having a child gain you, in this world of all places?"

She doesn't have time to answer as Jaskier suddenly wakes up with a start, he pushes himself up into a sitting position as he squints from the bright light of the room, "Oh, uh...where am I?" His eyes quickly land on the bare back of Yennefer since he can't see you from behind the thick pulled back curtain, "Whew! Uh...Right. Good. Good. Uh...Not to be untoward or anything...but, did we...you know, do the uh..." She slowly covers her bare torso and chest with her thin golden white top as she turns around to face him and crawl upon the bed, "Ooh, Go...Oh, no! No! Definitely did not butter that biscuit." Rushes Jaskier as he scrambles to get off, you watch as he shuffles past you, his eyes going wide in puzzlement, "Oh hello there Y/N, nice morning huh....oh shit, uh...look lady I'm so sorry, but I've just remembered I left my...cat, on the, stove."

He walks backwards as Yennefer continues her stalk towards him, "I...I uh, we really must going, isn't that right Y/N!" He exclaims as he quickly bends down to put on his shoes. You're not entirely sure how to handle this situation if you're being totally honest, you're not exactly one to stop people from living their dreams, especially if it's Yennefer doing something stupid and you also rather enjoy watching Jaskier piss himself.

Her eyes darken, "Express your deepest desires and you can be on your way." She asserts as her hand picks up a knife from her drawer.

"Well, my deepest desires are currently satisfied, thank you so much." Sputters Jaskier as Yennefer uses her power to slam him against the nearby wall.

"Is this really necessary?" You remark as she focuses on the bard.

"Yes." Is all that comes forth from her lips as she goes to threaten Jaskier, "How's your throat?"

"Uh.." Jaskier gives you a nervous glance before snapping back to the approaching mage.

Smiling wickedly she takes another step closer, "Perhaps you should try some scales."

Jaskier flinches back as the mage grabs a hold of him, "Uh...Toss a coin to your Witcher. O, valley of...penis. Oh, God." He stammers as Yenn grabs his junk in one hand and presses a knife against his throat in the other.

"If you want to keep all you have...make a damn wish." She threatens with malice, Jaskier breathing heavily in fear, he doesn't say anything as he throws pleading eyes your way. Scoffing she lets go of him and instead walks over to kneel down at the circle of burning candles, "Make a damn wish! Do it now!" Shouts the insane witch, an enchanted breeze finding its way into the room even with lack of opened windows.

Jaskier slides down the wall as he looks to you who only shrugs in reply, this is his problem now. He shifts his attention back to the mage, "I don't...I don't know! I wish very badly to leave this place forever!" Cries Jaskier as Yennefer gasps, her breathing going deeper as she begins to chant something in Eldar. The room instantly fills with winds, papers flying across the room at the intrusion.

Holding tightly onto the shaking wooden beam of the bed you glance from Jaskier to Yennefer, "You're fucking crazy Yennefer! This is madness!" She all but ignores you, her chanting getting louder and louder as the magical winds send your hair flying in all directions, "Fuck. Jaskier get out of here while you can, the djinn is close I can feel it!" You scream above the noise, he quickly nods before jumping to his feet and racing out the opened door.

You turn a worried face to Yennefer, "I'm not sure about you but, lets not invite a fucking genie into this place! You don't even own it! And stop speaking Eldar before this dark fucker possesses you!" She doesn't even give you a glance, as right on cue does the black wispy shadow of the djinn seep into the room and hastily flow into her body.

Your eyes go wide at the abrupt turn of events, "Fine. I'll save you myself, fucking mages." You mutter before taking a step forward, in an instant her eyes shoot open to reveal a sickly pink covering the entirety of her whole eyeball, she shoots up a hand and before you have a chance to do anything. Your whole body is thrown back into the hard glass window and straight out into the misty morning air as you free fall towards the grassy courtyard below.

Taken off guard but anticipating the nearing ground, you quickly stop yourself and levitate mere inches from the earth. You lower your feet onto the grass, an annoyed sigh leaving your lips as you pick some glass shards out of your arms and pant legs. You stand in the morning light beginning to rethink your life choices when pained screams are heard from up above, it's Yennefer, she's screaming at Geralt to make a wish so she can finally have all the power. Clearly things are not going well by any means, so instead of leaving her to an inevitable demise like how you'd planned, you fly back up to the broken window and right into the windy chaotic mess of a room.

A pillow nearly misses your head when you arrive just as the djinn screams for Geralt to use his wish on anything that he so desires. You jog over to the circle of candles as his golden eyes find yours, "Just make a fucking wish!" You shout before the djinn compels Yennefer to throw you against the far wall in an act of mindless rage. You're back hits the wood first, your head cracking against it with a thud, ouch.

You fall to the messy floor in a daze, a single trickle of blood falling down the side of your temple as you stand to slowly regain your bearings once again. Although when you look up, it appears that Geralt has spoken his last wish, the wind has dissipated and Yennefer seems to have come around to her mostly normal self.

Breathing heavily from her spot on the floor she turns to you, "Is it over?" She whispers tiredly, "Is it done?"

Sensing movement from the attic you zero in on the noise, "Oh fuck it's still here!" You bellow before the ceiling crumbles and cracks open, wood, stone, metal and whatever else bursting through as the djinn destroys the roof. Your eyes go wide as a large piece of wood breaks away, heading straight for Yennefer, more chunks racing down for Geralt as well.

In a blur you're able to save them both from a suddenly violent death as you rest them against the floor away from the destructive mess happening near the bed and windows. Geralt sits up and scoots back as you rest your old friend upon a soft red and gold pillow, she's asleep from the quick rushed movement you'd just subjected her to. You're going to have to remember that not everyone is very fond of whiplash.

Leaning over her, you lightly shake her arm, "Yennefer. It's me, Y/N. Wake up idiot." Her lavender irises slowly flicker open as you sit back, a sigh of relief leaving your parted lips as you turn to make sure Geralt's alright. He's already asleep on another large blue pillow, so much for the mighty Witcher.

"Wha...what?" She mumbles softly before her eyes open wider in realization, "Y/N why did you stop me! I nearly had it, I was so close and you ruined it, why di..."

Your brows furrow in confusion at her needless outburst, "You had shit, I saved your life! You ungrateful..."

"Oh, well I saved that fucking bard's life and your precious Witcher's...but now he's let the djinn escape! Who knows what havoc it'll wreak now that it has no vessel at all?" She fumes, glaring at you angrily.

Rolling your scarlet eyes at her frustration, you sit down on the carpeted floor, "No more havoc then you. Djinns are only dark creatures when held captive."

"How can you be so sure?" She snaps.

You raise an eyebrow at her, "When did you last feel happy when you felt trapped? And besides, if you were going to portal us to safety, you could have taken us out of this shit town!"

Yennefer huffs in annoyance, "A fine critique if you could make a portal yourself. Or better yet, turn into a giant bat and fly us away from here...and it wasn't a shit town, it was fine till you and your two incompetent imbeciles came along. I had a plan!" She exclaims pointedly as you begin to chuckle.

Her glare hard pressed as you smirk, "And that was going rather swimmingly!"

"It was!" Snaps Yennefer, "Like a drowning fish." She looks to you with angry eyes, her fire slowly brimming as a smile breaks out onto her face.

"More like a dead and dry one." You muse with a laugh as you frown, "oh gods look at us, how'd we ever get here huh....from Aretuza to the destroyed aftermath of a fucking djinn."

Her face falters for a moment as she thinks over your words, "Who can say? Bad choices perhaps, maybe we do it to ourselves for the fun of it."

"Maybe you're just a thrill seeker." She gives you a half offended glare as you simply stick your tongue out at her, "But we've survived nonetheless, I'll take that as a promising sign for the time being."

"I guess that means something then." She looks down to her hands, a downcast expression crossing her sweaty features, "I am glad to have seen you again in all honesty, it's just been a very long while since I've seen anyone familiar." Admits the violet eyed mage.

You shrug, "Or tolerable?"

"Yes, or tolerable. My life at court was...almost all for naught, I feel like I didn't do anything worth my time there....even got a knife through my shoulder when the Queen I was accompanying was killed by an assassin. I was done." She explains with a frown, you can tell something else about it bothers her, but you'd rather not press your curiosity.

"The things I miss when I'm elsewhere. Who needs a life at court anyway...I on the other hand was never meant to rule a castle. Perhaps it's a good thing my mother won't ever age, or die. And I have my freedom to roam the Continent as I please, a free woman bound by nothing but what I choose, and so I have." She gives you a downcast smile.

"I almost envy you Y/N. Truly. Now if only I could know what your Witcher happened to have wished for, but I'd rather not wake him. He almost looks peaceful in a sleeping bear kind of way." She adds while looking behind you at a snoozing Geralt, his chest slowly rising and falling with each soft breath.

You turn a loving gaze upon him, "Guess he does, doesn't he? Like a grimy sweaty mess of a man...my big grumpy bear." You muse, your eyes studying his face lovingly as a sudden idea comes to mind, you turn back to Yennefer with a mischievous smirk, "You know what, the bards recently single..."

Her face is almost a grimace as she shakes her head, "I'll take my chances elsewhere. But thank you Y/N, always watching out for me, usually pretty shit advice most often." She jests while rising to her feet, "I must be off before the town comes for my head, see you around...hopefully under better circumstances and with less destructive endings." You stand to your full height, a couple inches taller then Yennefer.

You both lean in for a parting hug, "Goodbye, Yennefer." Letting go of one another she hands you a small smile, "Try not to get killed Y/N."

"You. Try not to get involved with, well, you know." She nods before turning around and opening up a portal to some sunny ocean side market, you watch as she walks through it without another word, and off into the unknown she goes.

Yawning and feeling slightly off put from the whole ordeal, you turn to look over at Geralt, he's still out cold on the giant fluffy blue pillow. You smile adoringly at him before scooting yourself over, finally letting yourself rest near his peacefully sleeping form as you wait patiently for him to wake.

-

Tagged:  @notahappytree​ @ashleyforeverareject​ @sokkasdarling​ @kmuir1​​@haleypearce @diegos-butt​ (@auds24 sorry idk why ur name won’t work)

[speedypandaweasel]

Loki Angst (3.5K Words)

Ever since Loki Ep 4 came out, I've been having a strong Maladaptive daydream to the ending credits song. So in true fashion, I'm going to write it here. Enjoy.

When reading, this story is in no way accurate to whats happened in the series so far, this was purely out of my imagination.

Song Inspiration - If You Love Me by Brenda Lee

~~~

Asgard's golden walls glistened proudly with streamers and its pillars blossomed with decorative flowers and fruit. The floor must have been cleaned until someone's fingers bled because when you looked down from the higher floor, you couldn't make up your mind as to which side of the arriving guests was the reflection. The small congregation was accompanied by floating champagne glasses and flowing fabrics of satin and silk, their laughs and high-class conversations wafted through the halls as you watched on in awe.

You knew you weren't exactly a part of this society, let alone this world, but you wanted to at least experience something like this. Watching from afar, you still needed to get changed into your dress for tonight. As for Loki and Sylvie, you hadn't seen them, so you wandered through the long hallways on your own.

Whilst wandering past small fruit and nut bowls displayed in the marble corridors, you thought as to what was happening between your two friends. Things had subtly changed between the three of you and even though they did their best, you knew something had happened between them. They would hopefully tell you though since you had known Loki ever since you could remember, and the thought of him keeping you out in the cold on a secret sent shivers up your spine. Sure, people can keep things to themselves but this felt - different, it put a strain on your friendship and you had the thought that maybe it was your fault that they became distant from you. Did you say something or do something that they weren't a fan of? You didn't like to think like that but it felt like your only option.

You pushed open your door and closed it behind you, making sure to lock it. The cold summers breeze met your face as you drifted over to the small window overlooking the wonderful scene that was graciously displayed below you. Accompanied by the royal gardens, you breathed in a sigh, as your eyes settled on the stars that trickled over Asgard like glitter on a golden trophy, and made sure to capture every single feature the Realm happened to have. You felt like you were home, yet your brain knew that you weren't. The reminder: The Bifrost. It sat in the very distance, its attention gravitating towards you like a persistent magnet, propelling you to come back to your true home and yet, you continued to push back, making sure you stayed here a little longer, just to see things out.

All the while, your hands sneaked their way to your neck, fiddling with a necklace that Loki gave you from your younger years. It became a habit of yours when you were worried about something, and the mischievous scamp had caught you out on it a few times, which then lead you to spill every worry out in front of him. He practically knew everything that you were afraid of and you were secretly proud to say that you knew things about Loki even Thor didn't know about. You two had a lot of history together and you couldn't imagine it any other way, but it wasn't until later that the two of you became a trio. Sylvie was a nice person but the resemblance of her next to Loki was oddly similar, and you still hardly knew anything about her - even to this day. But Loki seemed comfortable around her and when he was happy, you were. The three of you had a lot of fun together and tonight was going to be one of them again, having fun and messing around with anything you could get your hands on. It would probably be the fruit or Odin's staff like last time.

Contemplation was caught short when you heard a knock at the door. You tucked the necklace in your shirt, slid the window shut and closed the curtain. Walking over to the door, you opened it to a smiling Sylvie. Her black outfit was muddy all over and her hair was frazzled, yet her face held the joy of a child which was a new look on her.

Inviting her in, she strode in and sat on your bed, the clean mattress became mucky as her boots trailed in mud from outside. Her stubborn demeanour had dropped and she was talking about something that you didn't quite understand. You stopped her mid-sentence as you calmed her down, telling her to breathe slowly in and out. This was completely new and unrehearsed between the two of you as she started to wind down.

"Is this what you're wearing tonight?" She asked, "It looks nice" stroking the gown carefully.

"Thanks" You replied "Are you going tonight?"

"Yes, I am."

"Awesome! We can get up to all sorts of things tonight! We can steal the fruit, tip some hard liquor into the drinks, or maybe we could-"

"Actually, I don't feel like doing that type of stuff tonight" Sylvie interrupted you this time. "Could we have just one normal night? Like civilly?"

You were taken back. She had never said no to mischief before. This became strangely scary for you. Is this the same Sylvie you knew? She seemed so... mature.

"Oh, oh ok. That's fine." You said. "You better go and get dressed! You definitely need to go and have a bath!" You laughed.

Leading her to the door again, you let Sylvie pass through. An uneasy feeling settled as you watched her float down the hallway, the same grin plastered on her face.

What was going on with her? And where was Loki? He should be in the Palace by now? He was probably with Odin, or Thor letting guests in.

You turned back to face your room and walked towards your long vanity. Its clean mirror and your makeup kit sat proudly upon it, eagerly ready to be used. Sitting down at the station, applying your makeup routine always made you feel like you were going to a grand ball. Well, you were, but the feeling of actually going made butterflies break that pit in your stomach. You gazed at your own reflection, one of a goddess staring back at you. It was one of those surreal moments when you felt like the baddest bitch of them all, feeling like no one could ever stop you from doing anything.

The gown you had picked out slipped off the hanger pricelessly as you delicately slipped it on. Its expensive fabric clasped your figure elegantly as you zipped up the back, making extra sure that it didn't snag on anything. The makeup was wonderfully done and the hair was styled on your head just so, but there was one thing missing.

You untucked the necklace and layed it on top. Perfect.

Doing a small twirl with your heels on, you stood in front of the closets' large mirror for a minute, taking in your gorgeous outfit for the night. Tonight was the night you felt like a princess.

You grabbed your clutch as you glided out of the, now dim hallway. The main light now coming from the grand hall as it coaxed you its way, making your gown glisten with its warm appeal.

Finally basking in its glory, you peered down at the fully decorated hall. So many people had gathered as you watched on again, spotting Odin and Thor right below you, yet no sign of the other God. You stayed up the higher floor, weaving through the bannisters to see if you could catch a glimpse of the green cape. The orchestra played beautiful symphonies as you swayed on from above, fiddling with the golden chain. You slowly got carried away by the addicting melody as you glided down the grand staircase, blending in with the Asgardian crowd. People were beginning to look at you with admiration and smiles started to appear in front of you. You embarrassingly smiled and nodded back, trying to fit in with the night greetings.

You reached your hand onto a passing wine glass tray as you stepped to the outskirts of the crowd, allowing your heated face to cool and your breathing to slow. It had only been a couple hours and you were already flustered. But where were Loki and Sylvie?

You squeezed your way back through the large assembly as you crept up the stairs once more, getting slightly worried as to where the two were.

"There she is!" A familiar face grinned.

You turned and met with the face of Loki, his hair gelled back and that all too familiar smirk brought a chuckle to your lips. He stood at the top of the staircase, dominating the space around him. People had started to notice the young God positioned above them and started to utter whispers and occasional glances.

Your eyes studied his features like a book. The Emerald and Gold colour scheme never seemed to fade on him and his cape shadowed behind his tall and broad shoulders courageously like it always did. The addicting cologne lulled you into a warm embrace, his arms wrapped around you shallowly. Loki never was one for hugs but he didn't mind breaking his "reputation" for you. The gesture ended too soon as Loki scanned the grand room, his daring eyes searching for something. He turned to you.

Mischief chuckled. his eyes filled with amusement. "I should think so, she should be fine this evening, however."

"Have you seen Sylvie? I need to speak with her?"

"Uh, no I don't sorry, but she was acting a little strange earlier today. She was all smiley and a little too happy. Is everything alright with her?"

You nodded, taking his words with a pinch of salt.

"Speak of the lady." You muttered.

Sylvie glided up behind him and suddenly, everything went mute. Nothing but the sounds of your heartbeat entered your ears as you stared. The crisp sound of the orchestra was now muffled and guests discussions became mute. Your breathing shallowed yet you continued to stare.

Eternity flew by in a matter of seconds as you looked at your two friends before you.

Both were wearing Gold and Emerald. Sylvie's long dress complimented Loki's cape and boots and around what was around her slender neck was the cherry on top of this momentous cake.

You looked down at your hands that went to a necklace. All of its meaning had now been transferred to the new owner.

Everything had slotted together. Why Sylvie was smiling so much, Loki's mysterious absences, his short discussion, their secretive behaviour.

The noise came flooding back into your ears once more, making your eyes water. The chattering and clinking of glasses recentered you.

"Is everything alright?" Loki questioned. His arm now linked with Sylvie's, her face displayed the same curiosity.

Your mouth uttered something, yet nothing tumbled out. Instead, your body forced you to turn around and walk.

You walked. Just walked. Walked as far away as you possibly could. Your shoes took you further and further away from the Hall and outside to the gardens. More tears started to fall as you stupidly peered through one of the Palace's windows.

Your stained eyes met with the crowd making room for the event you didn't want to witness, yet couldn't help but watch. It made way for your two friends starting the evening. The urge to pull your eyes away from the situation unfolding became numb. You stood still as Loki took the small of Sylvie's back proudly as they began to waltz, the cushioned sound of the strings and flutes echoed outside as they floated around the room, their eyes never left one another's. Your body became weighted but you knew that one final flick would send you crumbling. Your hands clenched into fists and you couldn't do anything about it.

Loki looked so happy. Still, you weren't. Perhaps it was better for this to happen. They didn't fully know how you came to be in Asgard and thinking it through thoroughly, you didn't want to tell them, not now.

The God of Mischief never looked so proud to be in the centre of the crowd like this, so to keep this secret from you made your heart ache with either pride or betrayal, you couldn't make up your foggy mind.

The Hall became absent of one guest as they slowly walked into the gardens. The stillness of the night's air felt nice against your bare skin and the flowers bloomed gloriously around you. The tall shrubbery loomed over you, blocking out nearly all of the Palaces' light, but you couldn't escape the moon's view.

You strolled in and out of the beds, touching every delicate bulb that you passed. Relishing in its dainty scents, your path came to end with a wooden bench. Its worn planks provided support as you perched on it, resting your killing feet.

Now, what do you do? It was clearly evident that they were fine without you and to be completely honest with yourself, you knew the time to leave this world was drawing nearer and nearer.

The thought of leaving everything behind caused you to break down properly this time, that awful feeling of disgust and hurt pounded at your stomach as your throat was caught on itself.

The night's sky helplessly observed as the air blew colder and colder, the moons light leaving as you trailed back slowly.

Silent sobs resounded off the Palaces back stairwell and to your guest door. Heavy footsteps sounded on the damp carpet as the priceless dress was shrugged off, flopping on the floor lifelessly. The smudged makeup was wiped off and the styled hair was ruffled once more. Silence.

A piece of scroll and a quill were picked up and written on, the scratches of ink were all that could be heard in the small bedroom. Still, no words could be mustered.

A luggage bag was lifted from the top of the closet as t-shirts, jeans and essentials were folded neatly and zipped up. A sniffle was collected.

The open letter was placed on the bed and with a tearful kiss, so was the necklace.

"Thank you for letting me stay, but now I need to leave." A weak voice was finally projected.

The hurt walked down the hallway and back into the Palaces Grand Ball. It walked through the marble pillars, passed the infamous throne and out of the doors.

"Would you like me to carry your bag?" A smooth voice asked.

You whipped your head around to see Heimdall. Of course, he knew what you were doing. The man positioned himself humbly, his uniform reflected the warm lighting come from inside.

"Go and have one more look, I shall meet you at the Bridge."

You gave him a small smile and walked back to the large doors. You lingered in the doorway, eyeing the many guests and savouring the memories that were fading fast.

The vision fell on the young couple that were at the very far end of the room, They were talking to some of the guests, actually socialising. They looked so happy together, his hand draped around her like it was always meant to do that. Her eyes beaming with pride as she glanced up at him only made you cement your choice.

You smiled.

You took yourself on a little tour around the public square, seeing the many beautiful pictures of people houses, lavish fountains and well-kept marble streets. Each of its precisely cracked lines etched in gold, eventually directed you to the edge of the idyllic city. You laughed as you spotted the overly known spots the three of you used to meet at. You walked over to the tree as you looked on fondly at the permanent markings on its trunk. Your head lifted up to prevent an emotional collapse, you didn't want to make this harder than it should be, yet you were all the same.

Hours became minutes and you spotted Heimdall at the bridge, your suitcase grasped in his hand. Just one more time.

You made your final view on Asgard, from the Palace at the back from the small houses and shops at the front. Everything looked so much larger than from your bedroom window.

"Are you ready?" Heimdall said and offered his arm.

You chucked as you accepted, grandly strolling down the bridge to the Bifrost. The array of colours danced below you as Heimdall unexpectedly spun you around politely. His chuckle filled the air as you joked around on your way, forming even more moments that your heart desperately wanted to cling to. The evening's glitter shone above the both of you, customising spotlights on the two trying to make this special night one to remember.

"I am going to miss you Mid- Guardian."

"I'm gonna miss you too Heimdall."

The Biofrost expanded bigger and bigger until it was practically on top of you both. Your dance ceased to a stop as the gatekeeper placed a soft kiss on the top of your hand.

Footsteps bounced off the hollow walls as the two of you walked inside the orb. The cold interior made you shiver as your infinite time was now mere seconds.

"After you Heimdall" you laughed, trying to hold back tears that were starting to erupt again.

"Thank you, but before I forget, may I request you do something." He said. "Do you mind turning around?"

Confused, you obliged. Turning around, Heimdall's cold hands came to the back of your neck and left just as swiftly.

You stared down, your tired eyes widening.

"Heimdall how do you have thi-"

You spun back around but didn't come face to face with Heimdall.

You froze, paralysed to the spot as your breathing sharpened.

Your bags thudded to the Bifrosts floor and you crashed into him, your hands grabbed at his cloak as you sobbed into his leathered outfit. He dropped to his knees and pulled you in closer, his face burrowed into the crook of your shoulders. The jet black hair was becoming ungelled as the two of you stayed in that hug for a long time. His breathing became shallow and your shoulder was becoming damp. You pulled the hug in, infinitely closer, desperately not wanting to let him go. Your mind was scraping back at the fleeting moments as your exit grew bigger and bigger, applying pressure on top of the emotional wreckage to part ways.

Alas, you sadly tore away from one another, looking directly into one another's eyes, his green ones pierced into yours, pleading you to stay. Nonetheless, you both knew that couldn't be the case.

"I could stay here with you, you know"

"You know that can't happen Mid-Guardian. It pains me that you must leave. We have caused a lot of mischief together and I am so proud of the person you have become, even if you were under my influence." He choked, tears forming in his eyes. Your hand cusped his jawline, your thumb dragged along his cheek and to his eyes. His skin was made of pale velvet. His yearning tears were smoothed away from his eyes as he breathed out a shaky sigh.

You both dragged back yourselves up to your feet, his taller shadow looking down on you. He slowly picked up and passed you your luggage as you both locked eye contact for one last time.

He knew he had to let you go but for once in his life, this was the hardest goodbye he had to be a part of. You meant so much to him and the way he behaved tonight finally made him realise that no matter what he did or who he met, no one would be able to make him feel or experience anything like this the way you did, not even Sylvie.

"Don't forget me Loki."

"Oh my Dear, I won't be forgetting you for a very long time." He gave you a grin before wiping his eyes once more. "Now go and make some more mischief down on Mid-Guard for me."

You placed a sensitive kiss on his cheek as you edged closer to the Bifrosts vacuum. You turned around to admire the God of Mischief once more, a small tear leaked from your red face again.

Loki gave you a wink and then soon he wasn't there anymore.

Loki stood there painfully as you were soon out of sight, his mind racing with everything he should have said that never escaped his mouth.

He peered at the Bifrost that had now shut, hoping that for some miraculous reason that you would return, as his hand ran through his tousled hair. His breath became ragged once more as his knees buckled, his white-knuckled fists slammed into the floor, the impact caused the portal to shake slightly. If he didn't behave like such an arse hole tonight, maybe things could have turned out differently. how long did you know that you had to leave him one day?

His unanswered questions marinated as he regrettably crawled back to his feet and trudged back towards the festivities, his cape dragged behind him heavily. His bottled emotions made his blood boil as he let out a singular scream, cascading into the dark void of the Realm.

But if he loved you, then he had to let this happen.

[babygirlwolverine]

Prompt - unspoken. For your followers celebration if you are still doing that. 😊

“It’s just this unspoken thing, Sammy,” Dean said, taking another swig of beer as he watched a man and two women flirting with Cas at the end of the bar.

“You’re an idiot, Dean.”

“It’s been said.”

“No, I’m serious,” Sam said, putting his beer down. “It doesn’t have to be some unspoken thing between you two. Everyone knows how much you two want each other. Why won’t you just act on it?”

Dean sighed, draining the rest of his bottle and signaling to the bartender for another round. “It’s not what Cas wants. Some things are better left unspoken.”

“Oh, sure. Not what Cas wants? Because I’m pretty sure that despite the amount of people drooling over him right now, he literally hasn’t been able to tear his eyes away from you.”

Dean looked up and over to where Cas was for the thousandth time, only to see Cas was staring right at him, his eyes sparkling with something akin to longing before a man was jostling his arm and grabbing Cas’ attention again.

“Get up, go over there, grab him by the tie, kiss him in front of everyone, and then walk away,” Sam suggested.

“What about ‘unspoken thing’ do you not understand?” Dean snapped.

“The unspoken part,” Sam shot back. “Listen, I’ve suffered years of mutual pining from both of you, and I can’t take it anymore. Go over there, kiss him, and walk away. Don’t say a word. Then it’s still unspoken. If he chases after you, then you know it’s time to fucking cowboy up.”

Dean grabbed the new bottle of beer the bartender had just put down for him and drained the entire thing in one go. “You’re the worst wingman ever, Sam.”

“I’m the best and you know it. Now go over there and get your angel.”

Dropping his empty bottle down onto the bar, Dean got up and pushed his way through the crowd of people until he was standing in front of Cas; ignoring the angry protests of the drunk assholes who had been flirting with his angel.

“Dean?” Cas asked, voice laced with concern when he saw the look on Dean’s face.

Without saying anything, Dean reached out, wrapped his hand around Cas’ tie, and yanked him forwards off the stool. He let his breath ghost over Cas’ lips for a fraction of a second, before he closed the gap, melding their lips together.

Cas let out a muffled groan of surprise, before he was leaning into the kiss; little choked off whines being pressed into Dean’s mouth.

Dean darted his tongue out across the seam of Cas’ lips, moaning quietly when Cas opened his mouth and their tongues brushed against each other.

Everything inside Dean screamed to deepen the kiss, to slide his tongue into Cas’ mouth and to push him back against the bar; to claim his lips in every way possible.

Instead, he forced himself to break the kiss, even though he ached to immediately chase Cas’ mouth again. With a smirk, Dean patted Cas’ ass, before he waltzed away.

Oh God, please let Sam be right. Please let Sam be-

“Dean!”

Dean turned around at the exact second Cas caught up to him. With a smirk of his own, Cas shoved Dean back against the nearest wall, and slotted their mouths together in a dirty kiss that left Dean breathless, dizzy, and aroused.

“Not an unspoken thing anymore,” Dean panted against Cas’ lips.

“About damn time you made a move,” Cas shot back, before he leaned in and they were kissing again; desperate and needy and perfect.

Tag List Below:

Tag List: @curly-cue-scamp @hello-x-sunshine @bibelphegor @piesexual-dean @likepurplemuses @expectingtofly @neo-neo-neo @shadowywerewolfqueen @a-sweet-indisposition @feraladoration @xojo @oganizediguana @paintdriesfaster @adsp-destielcockles @destielangst

@cillitbang-me @justa-crayon @dea-stiel @superduckbatrebel @destielfactory @miluiel-erynion @superwholockbby @cockleslovesdestiel

If you’re enjoying my writing and want to see more and you’d like to be tagged in any of my future destiel creations, please message me or comment and let me know and I’ll add you to the list!

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1024 - Initial Thoughts

Happy Volume 100 Day! Indeed, Volume 100 officially comes out today, it's a shame we didn't get more of those We Are One segments (just like the Nissin noodle commercials) but it wrapped up nicely

There's also a chapter to deal with though so let's get to it

Spoilers for Chapter 1024, Support the Official Release too!

I forgot to mention the special Popularity Poll colour spreads last time but here's our middle one mainly involving the Straw Hats, Vivi, the remaining Supernovas, Bon, Merry, Woop Slap (seriously how?) and some villains (Crocodile, the rest of Moria and Enel). Sneaky bit of Sabo on the side too who'll be fully displayed in the next spread

Oh Usopp, your braggadocios scamp you. He's spreading Fear of God by claiming some recent KOs are due to his Conqueror's Haki

Also claiming to have defeated 2 of the Tobi Roppo...I mean he contributed at least, maybe word it like 'I fought two of the Tobi Roppo and I'm still standing'

Plus he's riding a very unimpressed Alligator SMILE atrocity XD

Horsealina chan (aka Speed) is back to protect sweet child Tama, as it turns out the KOs are from Big Mom's Conqueror's Haki who's fighting on this floor, which must mean that Law and Kid are taking it to her

Also it's still worth applauding that Nami, Usopp, Speed nor even Tama have succumbed to BM's Conqueror's Haki

Luffy's status is still unknown to the crew though, and Nami does seem a bit nervous about it when asking Franky

Franky's right though, no news is good news because if Luffy was defeated or dead he'd be paraded around by the Yonko

Franky is also making motions to move Nami and Usopp with him to the performance floor, so the crew's gonna be converging soon

Some Heart Pirate action too as they fend off any attempts at enemies intervening on Zoro and Sanji's fight with King and Queen, seems like Law they don't like to be told to do stuff by the Straw Hats either

Everyone's bouncing from the Third Floor too thanks to Maria's arson attempts

Out in a blaze of Yohoho is Brook carrying Robin, but no you're not cremated just yet, need to be ashes for that

Look at Robin so peaceful, as Brook guards over her and also is eager to know how things are going

He calls Jimbei who's on the Fourth Floor with Kid's remaining crew, didn't know Kid has a feral female crewmate

Trust Jimbei to be concerned about the big picture of Kaido, but he also mentions how people are fleeing the castle, is it because of the fight in the Performance Floor or because we've reached mainland?

Showing Kawamatsu defending the line does make me think the former

But back to Yamato vs Kaido now, looks like some parent/child attack tennis

Since we can't avoid it now I know the Vivre Card Databook is saying that Yamato is female but since Yamato is identifying as Oden and was still canonically called Kaido's son I'm gonna continue to use male pronouns for the time being. Don't read too into it okay or leap at me for using the wrong pronoun because it's a can of worms right now and I don't want to be part of it

I mean, come on Yamato it's not like you expected Kaido to take it easy on you when you're trying to stop one of his endgame plans

Flashback time! And that's where the Dragon statue used to be...

Kid Yamato is precious, and also has Conqueror's Haki

Kaido all about not winning any Father of the Year awards, he's been starving Yamato, says if he wants to be Oden then he'd be better off dead, then threw him in a cave for a month

Yamato isn't alone though, there are three master swordsmen samurai in the cave too

And now he entices them, with a serving of food for one and a load of swords to fight over it

And the twisted cherry on the bastard cake: 'But I thought you were Oden', was there ulterior motive though? Oden would be able to inspire the Samurai right? I guess not for his own gain though given how he's treating Yamato

The Samurai grab the swords, but they hand Yamato the food: Samurai don't get hungry...unless they're Kin'emon and Momo, like how Kunoichi don't get hungry unless it's Tama

Full on Tama vibes from Kid Yamato eating their first meal in ages, I see that Oda

Dang then one of the Samurai just cut the chains off of him

Since I was given away on spoilers (like seriously guys use the 'Keep Reading' thing, it's the best way to hide spoilery stuff for those who don't wanna be spoiled) this must be Ushimaru, and he does look like those old Zoro pictures

He also now has an eye injury, but he feels disgraced, probably because he was captured rather than killed

Look at this little baby who is probably 5 foot tall hiding behind Oden's journal and doesn't know how to read yet

Looks like Yamato had 3 Dads, all of them Samurai, who taught him to read Oden's journal so he could fanboy more

10 Days pass and Yamato is weakening, seems like the Samurai feel that Yamato will need to be in the fight

Ushimaru though with the Shimotsuki crest on his back has had enough of prison, the Samurai are busting out and in turn giving Yamato freedom from the cave too

Amanowato, I feel like that's important, but the only thing I can find is a special dance (Amanowato Mai) that's performed on the day of the Annual Festival - October 15th...which is a Friday so maybe...

Back to the present and Yamato asks the tough questions, what right does Kaido have to steal freedom?

But Kaido makes a usual cruel response, there are no easy answers

And then we conclude with a clash of Thunder Bagua

Whooof, lot in that chapter huh?

We've got collective chaos with the Straw Hats as they do as expected begin to converge towards the performance floor, perhaps for the final hold off before Luffy and Momo arrive.

Oda though must've known that we were hoping for a Zoro flashback, because he then gave Yamato one instead XD It was cool to see some supportive people in Yamato's past, but while Yamato4Nakama fans will point that he now has a link to Zoro via Ushimaru we also have to note that Yamato's backstory may not have enough tragedy to be a Straw Hat (I'm joking in this btw, Carrot doesn't either unless the Dukes die but Zoro and Usopp's backstories aren't so tragic either)

Yamato giving me Tama vibes when a child is interesting, I do wonder why we have gone that route other than adorableness, but you can see where his strong admiration for Samurai lies too. Wonder how he got Oden's journal so young though

But yeah, no break which is good, I have a feeling though we'll get one next chapter after the colour spread is finished, 1025 could be setting something up big so Oda can pass out for a few days till giving us fire once again

[rina-writes]

Leaked

Summary: When your nudes get leaked by your ex, you worry about how this will change Grayson’s perception of you.

Warnings: Revenge porn/manipulative ex, protective Grayson, fluff (tw marked within story)

The view was blurred as you tried to stop the tears from pouring out of your eyes. You let out another shaky breath, trying to anchor yourself despite feeling a million miles away.  You could barely see the large green palm trees fluttering against the blue sky.  It just looked like waves and shimmers.  The Dolan household was an oasis for you.  A safe place created by the twins themselves when Grayson first invited you over after your third date. When Ethan heard you lived in a studio with a roommate, he jokingly suggested that you move into Grayson’s tiny house. Grayson was half serious when he agreed to it.  You hated to think that the next time you sat in this spot, you would be reminded of your dirt bag ex and the pictures that would ruin your life forever.

You let out a sigh and put down your paint brush.  You were done painting for today, for sure.  Your plan was to paint his backyard and give it to him to put up.  He and Ethan were planning on making an office and you wanted to give him a personal gift.  Your “short break” to look at social media turned into revealing the worst thing that has happened to you in a very long time.  With your creativity dashed and your nerves set ablaze, you decided to focus on the real issue:  how you would tell Grayson.  

Grayson wasn’t exactly innocent.  While he was the type of guy that liked to be in a relationship before being intimate, he had plenty of practice.  You could see his experience in the way his hazel eyes with darken and a smirk tugged on his full pink lips anytime he realized you were in the mood.  Sure, he had rippling abs and cut arms because he wants to be the best version of himself.  However, he would be the first to admit that being able to toss his girlfriend over his shoulder and ravish her with ease was a great perk as well.  

You also knew that Grayson knew that you weren’t innocent either. At the same time, you never sent him any sexy pictures or videos.  The raciest text you sent was probably something like, ‘I wish you were in bed with me.’ It probably never occurred to Grayson that you would be into that kind of thing.

tw: talks about manipulation by ex-partner

To be honest, you don’t know what came over you back then. Sending naked pictures was something everyone knew was risky and dangerous.  Your ex had a way of persuading you to do anything. He pried on your insecurities and desire to be loved, coaxing you into things that made you uncomfortable under the familiar, but sickening logic of “if you loved me, you’d do it.” Then, he would berate you for doing exactly what he said.  You shouldn’t have been surprised that he would one day threaten to post these pictures.  He often told you he would send it to your family or to your coworkers whenever you did something he didn’t like. Sometimes, you were happy he left you for someone else. You knew that he would never let you break up with him and would punish you if you ever managed to get away.

tw end

You were incredibly grateful that you met Gray about a year later.  He showed you what it felt like to be cared for and loved.  He helped you to push past your insecurities and help you find new things to boost your confidence, like painting!  He was always in tune with your emotions. It was good and bad because it meant that sometimes he could sense something wrong before you were ready to tell him. You had a feeling this was going to be one of those issues.

As if right on cue, Grayson knocked on the door of the patio to get your attention. You glanced back to see a sheepish grin on his face.  He had been filming with Ethan all day.  At first, he felt bad for abandoning you on your day off.  You reminded him that you enjoyed your ‘me’ time and would be happy to get some time to paint. You hadn’t told him about your surprise so, you knew he was worried that you were secretly feeling neglected.  You had to shoo him from the pool area multiple times as he kept “forgetting” things he left around you. 

You widened your eyes and blinked a few times to hide your tears.  You smiled widely as he sat next to you. You thought you did a pretty job of looking composed.

“Have you been on Twitter all day?” He teased, gesturing at the phone in your hand as he leaned on your the top of your lawn chair.

“What, why?” You asked, alarmed, immediately clicking the button to lock your already locked phone. 

Your serious expression took him by surprise and Grayson narrowed his eyes.  He held your chin and analyzed your face.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that something was wrong.

“Babe, did something happen?” He asked, frowning, his thick brows making his eyes deepen.  “I was just teasing you about not painting…”

“Oh…” You shifted uncomfortably, pulling away from him.  You tried to discretely push your phone under your thigh.  “Sorry, I guess I’m a little jumpy.  You know, work has been tough.  Really needed this vacation.”

“Don’t do this…” Grayson said, slumping his shoulders, letting go of your chin.  “I know you’re lying. I don’t like when you hide things from me.”

“I don’t know…” You let out a shaky breath.  “I don’t know if I can tell you right now.”

He smoothed your hair out of your face and kissed your forehead.  “You can tell me anything, when you’re ready.”  He put his arm around as he sat in the chair next to you.  “I just wish I could help you now.”

The moment your nose met the crook of his neck, the tears started pouring out of you like a river.  He held you tighter, his body hardening as if literally becoming his rock.  He pulled you into his lap and your sobs became uncontrollable the moment your cheek hit his chest. Your tears were soaking his tank top and you were sure it was getting on his bare shoulders as well.  But, Grayson never stopped holding you.  Eventually, you calmed down and just rested your head on his chest.  He rubbed your back and said nothing.  You could hear him breathing deeply as if trying to calm himself down.  He hated seeing you distraught, especially since it was rare.  Like him, you tried to be cheerful around those you love.  So, if you broke down, it had to be something terrible.  

“Promise me that you won’t change how you see me…” You said softly, finally looking at him.

“Nothing would make me do that.”  Grayson said, grabbing your chin and resting his forehead on yours.  He quirked an eyebrow,  “Well maybe not nothing… If you killed Ethan, it would be kinda rough.”

You gave a soft laugh.  You needed that.  You reached over behind Grayson, to the previous chair you were sitting in to grab your phone.  You unlocked it and handed it to him.

His breath hitched as he scrolled to read the email.  You closed your eyes, feeling them stinging with tears again.

The email was filled with multiple pictures of you almost completely naked.  You were usually wearing underwear, but even that didn’t cover much.  Most of them didn’t have your face, but someone could probably tell it was you.

“Is this from your ex?” Grayson practically growled.  You opened your eyes to see his jaw set and his eyes wild. 

“Gray…”

“Is that bastard blackmailing you?!” He yelled.  “What the f*ck... I’ll kill him.”

“Calm down…” You said, resting your hand on his chest. “I don’t want to make him upset. We haven’t come out publicly, but I’m sure he’s sending this because he knows you and I are together.  If we piss him off,  he’ll post these photos and your fans will be retweeting that you’re dating a slut.”

Grayson stared at you in disbelief. He grabbed your shoulders tightly, and your wince made him loosen his grip.  His eyes searched your face for a moment as though his brain was also thinking of the right thing to say.  

“Y/N, I don’t give a flying f*ck right now about what anyone thinks.” His voice was deep and firm.  

You could tell his blood was boiling, but he was trying not to scare you. Let’s face, Angry Grayson was definitely more fun to enjoy when the anger was not targeted at you. He knew that and often tried to be gentler around you. 

Grayson continued to speak, “You have no right to feel ashamed. Everyone has taken photos to feel good about themselves.  You trusted him with this. Now, he is using it to ruin your life because you decided to date someone better? F*ck that guy.  I’ll kill him.  NO, we’ll sue him and then I’ll kill him.”

“Grayson…” You hugged him tightly.  

He hugged you back, cradling you in his arms gently.  “I’m so sorry, baby.” He whispered, his voice become gently again as he nuzzled your hair.  “I’ll call our lawyers at the management company.  They will know what to do.”

“Thank you.”  You choked out, getting emotional again at the sound of lawyers.  How could you be so stupid? How did you let it get to this point?

“We have to work quickly.” Grayson said, standing up still holding you in his arms, your cellphone pressing into your back as he kept a hold of it.  “I worry that if you take too long he will leak a few to scare you.  We gotta loop in E and see if he can help us out too.”

You sniffled.  You forgot that Ethan would know too.  Ethan who viewed you like a sister.  Oh god, would Grayson tell Lisa and Cameron too? Would the entire Dolan family now view you as a scamp?

“I’m so sorry, Gray.”  You apologized again.  “I feel so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be!” Gray said, carrying you into the house.  “You’re beautiful, baby.  I don’t blame you for wanting to show it off.  I just wished I could have met you before that prick.  Then I’d have pretty pictures and one less face to smash in.”

He gave you a grin and despite the deep, gnawing sadness in the pit of your stomach, you managed to smile back. He kissed your forehead and you closed your eyes a few more tears rolling down your cheeks.

“I love you, baby.  I got this. Trust me.”  Grayson said.  “I won’t hurt you like he hurt you.”

You kissed his cheek.  “I know.”  You had always known, but this solidified it.