#Order Gifts in Australia

[brezzegiftsseo]

How Custom Gifts Strengthen Relationships and Create Lasting Memories?

Choosing custom gifts can have a remarkable ability to create long-lasting memories and strengthen relationships. Whether it’s through thoughtful selections, personalized messages, or unique touches, a custom gift goes beyond the ordinary. You can Send Giftbaskets to Canada that can develop a deep sense of connection between the recipient and you. Let’s find out how custom gifts contribute to developing treasured memories and stronger bonds.

Flowers

Flowers are a symbol of friendship, appreciation, and love. When it is personalized with the recipient's favourite blooms or a special message, it becomes a strong expression of thoughtfulness. Whether it’s a bunch of sunflowers, a bouquet of vibrant roses, or a mix of seasonal blooms, these personalized flowers represent emotions in a unique way. Thus, you can Send Flowers Bouquet to USA and make the special day more memorable.

Gift baskets

Gift baskets provide a customizable and versatile option that helps for creating surprises and treats. Here, you can demonstrate your knowledge and attentiveness to their interest and hobbies by tailoring the content based on their preferences. Whether it's a cookie basket, a gourmet food basket, or a wine basket, the personalized selection reflects your efforts to create a memorable and unique experience. This special attention to detail fosters a deeper connection and fosters a sense of appreciation.

Cookies, cakes, and chocolates

Cookies, chocolates, and cakes are considered delightful treats to satisfy their taste buds as well as evoke feelings of indulgence and warmth. Customizing these delightful treats with personalized names or messages can add a special touch to your gift option. When you close, one will see their name beautifully iced on a chocolate bar, and then they will feel the sweet gestures. The recipient will feel special, which can create a sense of joy and memory of the occasion.

Wine basket

Another best custom gift can be wine baskets filled with accompanying gourmet treats and selected bottles. It can be a perfect option for intimate gatherings and celebrations. Personalizing the wine basket in terms of the recipient’s favourite snacks and preferences can add a thoughtful element. Thus, when you are planning to Order Gifts in Australia, then do not forget to choose a wine basket that can make a cherished memory shared between family, friends, or partners.

Conclusion

When looking for personalized and customized gift options, don't look anywhere, as Brezze Gifts is here with a broad range of options. Visit their website and check all their categories to find the best and most suitable gift collections for your loved ones or close ones.

[batshit-auspol]

With the sudden collapse of the Soviet Union in the early 1990s, many of the former empire's resources were sold off to the highest bidder, and their $14 billion space shuttle program was no exception.

Seeking to recoup some of that eyewatering spend, in 1998, the "Buran" (Russia's answer to the American Space Shuttle) was offered up for sale on eBay for $10 million.

No serious offers were received - with most people assuming the listing to be a joke, until the New York Post confirmed the sale, with Russian authorities stating they "actually have two" if anyone is interested.

(Pictured: A later auction of a smaller scale Buran in 2005)

Sensing an opportunity, a group of Aussie entrepreneurs including Australia's first astronaut and the lawyer for Prime Minister Paul Keating offer to lease the shuttle from Russia, to put it on display in Australia during the Sydney Olympics.

After gaining permission from the Kremlin for the lease, in 1999 the Russian military briefly stops bombing Chechnya in order to dismantle the Buran, and it is placed on a barge to be shipped to Sydney on the (soon to be infamous for other reasons) Tampa shipping vessel at a cost of $5 million.

Once in Sydney, after a disastrous few months on display where crowds failed to flock to the shuttle exhibition featuring such compelling educational offerings as "activities is to assist in the development of issues of nutrition and hygiene at home" (an actual quote from their website) - the leasing company declared bankruptcy and washed their hands of the space shuttle completely.

The Buran Gift shop where you could buy soviet space ship themed football jerseys, in case you needed one of those

One of four people listed on the lease, described as a business partner of the Prime Minister, also claims he never knew he was a director of the company, which went on to cause a lot more problems.

This whole debacle presented a slight issue for the cash strapped Russian authorities, who had now only been paid $100,000 for the 9 year lease of the shuttle instead of the $600,000 they were owed. Eventually the decision was made to abandon the once $1 billion Soviet pride and joy in a Sydney carpark, where it resided for a year under a small tarpaulin.

Failed attempts to be rid of the shuttle included a 12 day auction hosted by an LA radio station, where listeners were offered the chance to buy the shuttle for $6 million, however all bids turned out to be pranks and the shuttle remained.

Multiple attempts were also made to sell the shuttle to Tom Cruise, with the exacerbated movie star's representatives repeatedly telling the insistent traders that he was not interested in owning a Russian spaceship.

Eventually a Singaporean group dismantled the shuttle and shipped it overseas, however Russian authorities soon reported they once again had been failed to be paid for the lease. Singaporean representatives responded that they definitely had paid for the shuttle, and that they simply couldn't remember when or how much was paid.

Representing the Russian government, Lawyer Suhaila Turani told the Wall Street Journal “I feel sorry for the Russians. They’re good in space, but they’re very naive in business.”

For a time the shuttle was abandoned in the storage yard of event company Pico, with the company owner telling the Wall Street Journal "I just want this thing out of my life" after three years of being stuck with it.

A few years later the shuttle was found by German journalists dismantled in a junkyard, and it was then bought and shipped to Germany to be put on display a museum, so all's well that ends well (except they dropped it from a crane while trying to set it up, but it polished up okay).

[thehappypants]

Start celebrations early 🎉 FREE upgrade to EXPRESS SHIPPING AUSTRALIA WIDE. #order #happypants #christmaspresent #gift #thehappypants #free #upgrade #expressshipping #australia 🇦🇺 #pants 👖 HAPPYPANTS.com.au (at Brisbane, Queenland, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmR-l62vN-j/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[lixie-phoria]

bff!stray kids and the little things they do when they have a crush on you

pairing : stray kids x reader | genre : fluff | warnings : none

🧿 ┆ CHAN - he stalks your pinterest saves to see your latest interests

He doesn't do it in a creepy way, i promise. he just likes to go through your latest pins and find out what you're into and surprise you without you even having to tell him!! He spoils you so much :(( You recently saved a really cute fit inspo? He's going to order it for you. Saw you saving pins of pretty bouquets? You'll find the very same one in his hands as he picks you up from work. This man is such a sweetheart you're so lucky.

🧿┆ LEE KNOW - purposely forget his hoodies and tshirts at your place so you can wear them

Is it really an accident that he forgot his hoodie at your house for the fifteenth time even after you reminded him multiple times? Of course! Or at least that's what minho insists. He's never going to tell you that he intentionally forgets them at your place because it gives you an excuse to wear it. he will never tell you how delusional he is and how much it plays into his fantasies of you dating him when he sees you in his clothes. He's such a simp lmao please.

🧿 ┆ CHANGBIN - will buy anything that reminds him of you

He misses you so much on tour and can't stop thinking about you :(( even the smallest objects remind him of you. He goes to a beach in Australia and sees a shell whose colors match those of a really pretty dress you have? He's going to take it without a second thought, somehow managing to make a hole in it and looping an expensive chain through it because the shell may be simple but he loves spoiling you rotten with expensive gifts too. He sees a potted plant in some foreign country that looks somewhat like the one you have at your place? Of course he's going to buy it. Please don't ask him how he plans on getting it through airport security. He's too busy thinking about you to worry about all that!!

🧿 ┆ HYUNJIN - he lets only you paint his nails and do his make up!!

He's going to be sooo whiny as you drag him into the cosmetics store at the mall but anyone can see the stars in his eyes as he looks at your excited smile. The second you're in he's going to be all over the place, picking out items he thinks would go well with your features. And if you want to try out any of the products, he's offering himself before you can even pick the samples. Loves to have you paint his nails, try a new shade of lip gloss on his skin or the texture of a new blush. he will do anything for you. he does not care about the looks he gets as he proudly walks around with all 10 finger nails painted in mismatched colours.

🧿 ┆ HAN - He always let's you have the first bite of food

lover boy is so whipped i cannot stress enough. whenever you guys go on dates hang out, he purposely orders a starter he knows you like and insists you have the first bite. always. if you accompany him on set he remembers to carry snacks so he can share them with you and fights any member who tries to take some hahaha

🧿 ┆ FELIX - always takes your input when getting ready for a comeback

you see all those funky hair colors felix sports every comeback and pulls them off every single time? yeah thats all you. never once has he failed to ask you what colors you'd like to see him in. and he won't listen to you complain about how it might potentially damage his hair. you want to see him in blue? he's already texting his hair stylist l. you've been into purple lately? he's already discussing the different shades with you. it's so sweet and he loves it when he can finally show you the new look.

🧿 ┆ SEUNGMIN - "accidentally" takes your stuff so it gives him an excuse to drop it off at your place and see you

seungmin being upfront about his crush on you? of course not. he's such a baby lmao will never have the courage to tell you but he also doesn't know how to explain why he always wants to be around you. so he comes up with a (supposedly) fool proof plan!! he takes your stuff whenever you guys hang out so it gives him an excuse to come over and give it you later on. if you're ever missing a clutch clip or your lip gloss best believe he has it. and watch him laugh it off as an accident. he gets so embarrassed when the other 7 see right through him hahaha but he'd rather be teased because its worth seeing you

🧿 ┆ JEONGIN - aggressively confesses his love for you

he's so adorable. he isn't really sure how to navigate your relationship because its all so new to him but he also wants you to know that he genuinely likes you. so he sticks to saying i-love-you's at the most random times and so aggressively it nearly scared you the first time. so many of his good morning texts read along the lines of good morning i hope you're up or i will splash water down your pretty face. don't forget breakfast because it's important for you. if you forget it, i will fight you. i love you 😠😠😠😠 but once you catch on it's obviously got you giggling and blushing because it's such a jeongin thing to do and honestly how could you not fall for him when he's just awkwardly trying to confess how much he's in love with you

tags : @foxinnie8 @hamburgers101 @starlostlaiba @jiisungllvr (send an ask to be added/removed)

©lixie-phoria, 2023

[brezzegifts]

Top Personalized Gifting Ideas for Special Occasions

Birthdays, engagements, weddings, and anniversaries are among the most special events in people’s lives. In order to make the occasions more special and memorable, people think of celebrating them with their loved ones. When it is to celebrating, gifts are a must. With the increase in the number of online stores, getting birthday and Anniversary Gift Baskets Delivery has become quite simple and easy. However, with so many different gifts available in the market, choosing the best one can be a bit tricky.

Want to gift something unique that stands out among the other gifts? In that case, you must go for personalized gifts. When you hear personalized gifts, it is obvious to think about personalized mugs, personalized photo frames, and more. But there are various other personalized gifts that are actually eye-catching and useful at the same time. Wondering what those unique personalized gifts are? Here are some of the unique personalized gifting ideas for special occasions.

Chocolate Baskets

If it’s a special occasion for a person who loves chocolates, then chocolate baskets can be great gifting idea. Most people believe that chocolates are ideal for gifting kids and teenagers on their birthdays. However, as a matter of fact, chocolate has nothing to do with age. There would rarely be any individual who does not like chocolates.

In order to add a personal touch to this gifting idea, all you need to do is add the favourite chocolates of the person to whom you want to gift the basket. This unique gift is sure to delight your loved ones. The best thing is that chocolates are ideal for all occasions. Whether it is a birthday, anniversary, or any other special occasion, you can always gift the chocolate baskets.

Fruit Baskets

Fruits baskets as a gift may sound a little odd. However, it is actually an excellent gifting idea. Especially when your loved one is very particular about health and diet, fruit baskets can be the right choice. Even if your friend stays at a distance, you can Send Fruit Bunches Online Canada. Is rest assured about the freshness of the fruit baskets?

Champagne

If you want to gift something royal, champagne can be an ideal option. To surprise your near and dear ones, you can opt for online Classic Champagne Delivery Australia.

Conclusion

In addition to these, you can also gift flowers to your friends and family on special occasions. Whether you are looking for online chocolate basket delivery or Online Wine Delivery USA, Brezze Gifts can be the right choice for you.

[reasonsforhope]

"The South Australian premier, Peter Malinauskas, has announced plans to ban political donations from state elections, paving the way for nation-leading electoral reforms.

The state’s electoral amendment bill announced on Wednesday [June 12, 2024] night will ban electoral donations and gifts to registered political parties, members of parliament and candidates. The state will provide funding to allow parties and candidates to contest elections, run campaigns and promote political ideas.

Malinauskas said his bill would put South Australia on the “cusp of becoming a world leader in ending the nexus between money and political power”.

“We want money out of politics. We know this is not easy. These reforms may well face legal challenge,” Malinauskas said.

“But we are determined to deliver them, with this bill to be introduced in the parliament in the near future.”

In a subtle challenge to his federal and state counterparts, the premier told Guardian Australia he thought it was “something that democracies everywhere should be pursuing”.

The Albanese government pledged to introduce spending and donation caps, and truth in political advertising laws, as revealed by Guardian Australia after the 2022 federal election and confirmed by a parliamentary inquiry that reported last July.

The special minister of state, Don Farrell, said last month an agreement between the major parties and the crossbench had not yet been reached. An amendment bill is still expected by the middle of the year.

In order to level the playing field for newly created parties and independent candidates, the South Australia bill will allow candidates to receive donations up to $2,700, although they will remain subject to campaign spending caps.

Those spending caps have been set at $100,000, multiplied by the number of candidates up to a maximum of $500,000.

If the bill is passed, a registered political party will be entitled to a one-off payment of $200,000 before 31 August 2026. Whichever is lower out of $700,000 or the number of party members of parliament multiplied by $47,000 will also be given to parties for operational funding.

Membership fees will be allowed to continue but will be capped at $100 or less a year.

To deter attempts to circumvent the proposed changes, a maximum penalty of $50,000 or 10 years’ imprisonment will apply.

The guide acknowledges the proposal would lead to a rise in the cost of South Australia’s electoral system, but says a tightening of expenditure and party registration rules will keep costs to a minimum.

The Albanese government is under crossbench pressure to introduce electoral reforms before the next federal election.

Lower house independents, including Kate Chaney, Zali Steggall, the Greens, David Pocock, Lidia Thorpe and the Jacqui Lambie Network, joined forces to introduce a bill for fair and transparent elections in March [2024].

The bill contained a suite of reforms including truth-in-political advertising, a ban on donations from socially harmful industries including fossil fuels, and tightening the definition of gifts to capture major party fundraisers, including dinners and business forums."

-via The Guardian, March 18, 2024

[unaballerinascalza]

House, M.D. in 2024 headcanons

Pt. 2

That Nora lady uses the f slur with her besties at cocktail hour

House is THE Chappell Roan fan (loves her more than Thirteen does)

Someone from the team makes an artpiece out of defected IV needles while Under The Influence™. It either sells for tens of thousands at an auction or 31 dollars and 24 cents on Ebay, depending on the marketing

Chase has starred in a deodorant ad where he was on a motorbike and with sideburns

Chase and Thirteen constantly sing that one line from teenage dirtbag ("I've got two tickets to iron maiden, baby") together at the randomest times for no reason

Wilson feeds seagulls fries on purpose

Cuddy has a secret history of participating at fried chicken eating contests (and having won at least 4 times)

Thirteen gifts House a hot wheels colour changing monstertruck set. Kutner adds the garage from his collection. House keeps it all in his office

Chase wins a rap battle against an annoying kid who was bugging Cameron

Taub doesn't understand why everyone hates karma by Jojo Siwa

To make the ducklings concentrate during doctoring, House plays them royalty free music (e.g. spinning monkeys)

House steals Cameron's copy of "Red, white and royal blue" and doesn't give it back because it'S GENUINELY GOOD

Foreman orders boxes of samyang ramen noodles. He adds all the sauce and eats it without batting an eye

Chase takes Thirteen to Australia as a siblings trip. They get arrested.

Park has a cleaning tiktok

Pt. 1 Pt. 3 Pt. 4

[whyse7vn]

PALENTINES -

[ ot7 x reader ]

SINGLE LADIES 😁🔥

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

tae: gave my gf an hour long whimpering audio for valentines day

namjoon: you make me sick

jimin: this definitely counts as harassment

jk: yoongi got me a plastic fork

yoongi: yw

y/n: the audio was 5 minutes long????

tae: ok but i sent it to you 20 times

do the math????

jin: you sat there and whimpered into ur phone for 5 minutes that’s crazy

don’t you feel any shame??

tae: why would i feel shame?

it’s called being in love jin

you should try it sometime

jimin: it’s called harassment

hobi: ew man

jk: free asmr :D

jin: it’s gonna be free tae from jail soon

tae: no it won’t

jimin: ur right when you get locked up no one’s gonna want you free

hobi: KEEP TAE IN JAIL 🗣️💯

jk: personally i would want tae free

jimin: personally ur not real so it doesn’t matter what you want

jk: :ᗡ

hobi: ew how the hell did you flip it

i hate that

ew

jk: :ᗡ

hobi: HOW DID YOU DO THAT

jk: :ᗡ

hobi: STOP GO AWAY I HATE IT

namjoon: yoongi got jungkook a present this year?

yoongi: not by choice

y/n: it was by choice

hobi: it was a plastic fork

yoongi: a plastic fork not given by choice

y/n: yoongi

yoongi: no

y/n: please

yoongi: no

y/n: pretty please :3

yoongi: it was by choice

y/n: see told you!

yoongi: don’t understand why we have to buy each other shit on this holiday anyways

i like ONE of you not all of you

tae: am i the one you like be honest

yoongi: bye

y/n: it’s our silly little tradition don’t be a loser yoongi

yoongi: whatever

jin: ok anyways who ordered me a fucking marching band???

jk: idk but did you like it??

y/n: gonna take a wild guess and say it was jungkook

namjoon: i thought you have his card how did he order that??

y/n: he has apple pay now i can’t stop him 😕

hobi: wait no fair

jin did NOT deserve a marching band all he got me was his butter photocard???

jimin: he got me that too….

jk: OMG ME TOO >_<

tae: i don’t feel special anymore

namjoon: really jin?

y/n: mine was signed!!

yoongi: cheap

jin: you literally got kook a plastic fork?

yoongi: he loves it

jungkook tell him you love it

jk: i love it

yoongi: see

jin: whatever don’t care

jimin: namjoon got me a fucking book

jin: lol that’s crazy cuz you can’t read

jk: i’m sorry to hear you can’t read jimin hope you can soon :/

namjoon: i put a lot of thought into the book i got you

jin: that’s cute but he can’t read so

jk: i wish i was a book

tae: if you’re a book does that make you a tree?

jk: guys

y/n: no jungkook

jk: oh ok

jimin: i CAN read btw

yoongi: don’t care

jin: sounds like fake news

jk: omg wow ur a fast learner jimin you can read now!!!

jimin: ur talking way too much today

you should stop

jk: is he talking to me????

hobi: y/n got me a holiday to australia

i’m not gonna go cuz like bugs

but that was really nice

y/n: you’re welcome!!!!

tae: k but i got sex

y/n deleted this message!

tae: 😕

silencing me like they did MLK

jimin: what

jk: milk

hobi: did you just compare urself to mlk?

jin: yeah never say that again

tae: why not?? it’s true

yoongi: you are nothing like mlk

jk: tae ur not milk

namjoon: taehyung do not compare yourself to martin luther king ever again please and thank you

jk: or milk

y/n: and in black history month too…

tae: you don’t understand me or him

y/n: yeah ok

back to gifts

joon got me some really pretty flowers

jimin: boringggggggg he does that every year

jk: namjoon got me wood

hobi: ?

namjoon: statue

it’s a wooden statue thing

not just wood

tae: joon giving other boys wood for valentines ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

u wanna know who i gave MY wood too

y/n deleted this message!

namjoon: tae shut up

jin: saw that

tae: i’m just like mlk i’m telling you man

y/n: stop

tae: sorry

jimin: hobi got me shoes

hobi: i did

jk: hobi got me cheese

hobi: expensive cheese

y/n: i took yoongi to those cute photo booth things

yoongi: they didn’t need to know that

y/n: yes they did

we are sharing what we got each other

read the room yoongi

jimin: yeah yoongi read the room

tae: how tf u read a room??!

a room not a book ☠️☠️

u guys dumb as hell

jin: you not knowing what reading a room means makes a lot of sense actually

jk: send photobooth pics ^0^

bet u looked so cute

not you yoongi

y/n

her

not yoongi

i’m talking to y/n NOT you yoongi btw

yoongi: shut up

and no

you’ll never see those photos

jk: ☹️

hobi: so what did yoongi get y/n??

yoongi: don’t worry

tae: personally i’m worried

jk: me 2 guys yoongi is really scary

what if he killed her

y/n: ?

jin: i want to blow jungkook up

jk: i’m no ballon 😭

jimin: probably fucked for valentines let’s be real

tae: well that’s obviously NOT true lmao 😜 ☠️

yoongi: why is that “obviously” not true

we could of

tae: you didn’t

yoongi: and you know how?

tae: cuz i just know

yoongi: yeah ok

we could of for all you know

on the actual day too

tae: you weren’t even with her on valentine’s day

yoongi: and you were?

y/n: he wasn’t

tae: ok

but i could of been

yoongi: but clearly you weren’t

tae: neither were you

namjoon: both of you stop

tae: idk why yoongi acts all high a mighty

especially when it comes to her

y/n: ok that’s crazy

how about you don’t talk about me like i’m not here!

yoongi: idk why taehyung acts like he has a chance lmao

jk: guys

tae: that’s actually crazy

you’d be fucking surprised yoongi!!!!

yoongi: what’s that supposed to mean?

tae: what do you think it means?

tell me yoongi

guess

i’ll tell you if you’re right or not

yoongi: shut the fuck up

tae: or what?

hobi: why this kinda sexualllll

jimin: like 😭😭😭😭

y/n: LMAO STOP

jin: arguing over pussy that belongs to neither of them is crazy i’m just saying

jk: pussy \ ^0^ /

namjoon: how about we all stop arguing and move back to talking about the gifts we got eachother !!

hobi: jungkook got me a ballon

jk: yeah

do you love it

hobi: sure

jk: ^_^

jimin: personally i think hobi’s lying to you kook

jk: WHAT

jimin: i think he hates his ballon actually

jk: hobi pls say he’s lying

hobi: he’s lying

you see it may seem that way because on the outside im a very chill and nonchalant man

y/n: that is not true actually!

hobi: but on inside i am actually very chalant

EXTREMELY chalant no joke

so basically inside im going fucking crazy over the ballon jungkook gave me but it just doesn’t seem like that cuz im a chill guy

jk: but inside ur chalant

hobi: exactly

jk: jimin why would you lie to me

jimin: ur easy to lie to

jk: no im not

jimin: namjoon died in a car crash 24 hours ago

jk: NO NAMJOON OHHMYGOD NAMJOON NO

namjoon: i am not dead

jk: oh

y/n: how did you fall for that

namjoon cant even drive

jk: oh yeah

lol namjoon cant drive guys

namjoon: ok we all know

hobi: so what did you guys actually do on valentine’s day

jk: minecraft but then it got too scary so i played valorant instead

jimin: idk what any of that means but ok

i personally watched movies with joon

namjoon: yeah

i dropped by kook’s and y/n’s place first tho to give my gifts and stuff

hobi: where was my movie invite?????

jimin: we did call you

you were like high as hell

hobi: oh

wow

how real of me

jin: i cooked steak

jimin: for urself?

typical

jin: kys

no

for me and y/n actually

y/n: …

jin: my fault

yoongi: what

tae: oh

jk: SHE SAID SHE WAS BUSY

TTAHSTNOT FAIIROGJKFNKLDVLKFNKLFHKLNNDKVHNFKVNKLGNGR UFHDFHDKJ GHDKLNGFKLNGFG FHJDJHHGR DHGGRHBDNBF JGHKJGHGR

hobi: ????????????????????

namjoon: cool

jimin: jin???? out of everyone JIN??????

why would you fuck jin

jk: WHATR OHMYGOF WHAT?????? SHUT UP

jimin: on valentine’s day too…..

even fucking ME would make more sense than jin right now

jin: tf is that supposed to mean?

jimin: i said what i said lmao

tae: she cant of fucked jin

cuz she’s fucking me

yoongi: LMAOOOO

u really think your special dont you

thats crazy

jk: WHYIS EVERYONEFUCKING MY GIRLFRIENDOHMGYOJFDJFDKJDSDB

hobi: i dont get it even if she was fucking tae why couldn’t she fucked jin too?

y/n: i am like right here you know

tae: because me and her are serious

yoongi: serious???

you are just a rebound

tae: yoongi i think you’re just upset she didn’t come to you first after the whole jaehyun thing

yoongi: i’m glad she didn’t actually because now i know for sure i’m not rebound

you are

tae: shut the fuck up

yoongi: why? you getting upset?

idk why you’re acting like the victim here when you’re using her for the same thing

hobi: woah??

jimin: cap taehyung bitchless

yoongi: it’s time you stop using y/n to get over jennie and grow some fucking balls

jin: hold on

jimin: WAITTTTTTTT

hobi: SHUT FUCKING DOWN FR????

jk: imgonnapassout

y/n: oh

namjoon: yoongi

tae: i am not using y/n to get over jennie and you know that

hobi: wait ur fr??? taejennie was fr??

LIKE ACTUALLY?? OHMYGIDTHISISREAL??

yoongi: i know that? thats crazy how could i know that??

you didn’t even tell us about jennie

for over 3 months you were with her and you didn’t tell us

and then those photos of you and her were leaked and you were all depressed for ”no reason”

and now all of a sudden your obsession with y/n?

yeah you’re not using her you’re right i’m just fucking stupid aren’t i?

jimin: holy shit man

tae: i am not using her

yoongi: so why is yeontan with jennie right now?

y/n: tae you told me he was with you parents?

tae: yeah

but

i didn’t tell you that because im using you or anything i just said that because i didn’t want to cause any problems

y/n: you lied to me

for no reason

if you told me the truth it would of been fine

tae: i know

y/n: so when i came over

were you planing on sleeping with me anyways?

were you mad at yourself for calling jennie and leaving yeontan with her?

did you use me to help forget about it?

tae: did you use me to help get over jaehyun?

y/n: no

i can tell you that in full confidence no

now answer my question

tae: you know i would never do that to you

y/n: its a yes or no question taehyung

tae: i would never do that to you

yoongi: yes or no you asshole

tae: shut the fuck up

yoongi: answer her question

tae: leave me the fuck alone

tae left “SINGLE LADIES😁🔥”

jk: wow

y/n: didn’t sleep with jin btw

jk: ohthankgod

y/n: did sleep with tae once

we are NOT serious

jk: double ohthankgod

wait

y/n: and now i am going to sleep

jungkook come cuddle

gn all

jk: ON MY WAY OHMYGOD IM ON MY WAY

gn

jimin: good night …

hobi: nite!!

yoongi: gn

jin: goodnight

namjoon: gn

DOWNBAD😭🫵🏻 #2 (minus tae)

6 participants - 5 online

———————————

namjoon: yoongi that wasn’t fair

yoongi: i know

but she deserved to know

and he wasn’t gonna tell her any time soon

hobi: YOU AND NAMJOON KNEW THIS TAEJENNIE WAS REAL THIS WHOLE TIME????

yoongi: i just found out

namjoon knew longer

namjoon: not that long

jimin: ok but how do you know tae is using her fr?

yoongi: it’s not hard to connect the dots

jin: still you could be wrong

yoongi: well he didn’t deny it did he?

jimin: to me it looked like he didn’t know if he was using her or not

yoongi: well he needs to figure that out soon it’s not fair to her

or him ig

but mainly her.

—

hate this don’t care about anything bring back yellow….

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks

[unhetalia]

Dysfunctional FACE family headcanon based on this post.

The truth is, America is both England and France's favourite, especially after the American Revolution.

Before the American Revolution, Arthur loved Alfred, but he didn't see him as particularly valuable. After the Revolution, though, it becomes complicated, but Arthur's anger and pain means he's always aware of Alfred. Alfred is the one Arthur lost, and his emotions about Alfred are magnified in ways it never will be about anyone else. Did Arthur love Alfred the most before Alfred left him? It's hard to say, but he certainly did after Alfred left.

Francis has always liked Alfred, and he was pretty equal in his affections for both him and Matthew when they were children - though of course, he didn't see Alfred as much as Matthew. For a long time Matthew took comfort in knowing he was Francis' in a way Alfred wasn't, even though it made him feel guilty feeling that way. After the American Revolution, both of the equal affection and that special relationship are taken away from Matthew. Francis and Alfred bond - they bond over their anger at Arthur, and they bond over ideas that seem ludicrous to everyone else. Francis gifts Alfred the Statue of Liberty as a symbol of that bond, and both Arthur and Matthew have it shoved in their faces constantly. In the modern era, Francis does cooking lessons with Alfred ("in order to make sure Angleterre's terrible cooking does not infect him!") despite the fact Alfred's been an amazing cook for over a hundred years, and Alfred accompanies Francis on his shopping trips in New York even if he never buys anything.

The way Alfred sees it, of course, is that Matthew is Arthur's obedient, and therefore favoured child. Despite the strength of Arthur's feelings for him, Alfred never felt it when he was actually growing up with Arthur, and certainly not after he'd left. Matthew got to see how deeply Arthur missed and loved Alfred - Alfred didn't. And no matter what his relationship is with Francis, Alfred always thinks of the fact that Francis raised Matthew, not him. Alfred envies Matthew's place in the family, even if he doesn't regret gaining his independence. (Then there's the fact that Matthew actually tends to make friends easier than Alfred, who struggles with social cues and who tends to be A Lot for some people, a fact that Alfred is very aware of. There's a lot Alfred envies about his brother.)

Meanwhile Matthew thinks, why am I never anyone's favourite? Anyone's ride of die? He has a good relationship with Arthur and Francis but he's never going to be their favourite. And even though Alfred's not part of the commonwealth, maybe Matthew remembers the first time Australia and New Zealand met his brother, their awe at seeing this figure of legend for the first time. He's never going to be impressive in that way. (Matthew doesn't notice how much more friends he has than Alfred, only that Alfred's few friends are all his best friends, while he feels like he's surrounded by people but is unable to confide in anyone.)

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[reysdriver]

Rockstar!James

headcanons of James as a rockstar — rockstar!james x gn!reader

warnings: sexual headcanons (there is a warning before them) so minors dni, 18+, mentions of sex

words: 0.5k

a/n: marauders aus take up sm space in my brain so im making this, and i may make rockstar stuff for all the boys

- In a band called The Marauders of course

- Reminiscent of like rock bands from the 70s and 80s

- James plays the bass, maybe drums, but I mostly see him playing bass or guitar

- Talks about you in concerts and interviews 

- But you also have a secret signal or code word that he uses that only you two (and maybe the other members) know about so he can show he's thinking about you privately

- If it's a modern AU, he'll post you on his social media all the time, and a lot of his fans are in admiration of your relationship 

- Writes songs about you/dedicates songs to you all the time 

- Spoils you with gifts and souvenirs from every stop of their tours 

- Has it in his contract that the dressing room needs to have your favourite snacks and drinks so you can be comfortable backstage with him

- Has personal touches of yours on his instrument like your name and a heart stitched on his guitar strap, stickers of yours on his case, etc

- Asks for good luck kisses before every performance

- You're always the first to hear the band's new songs 

- Has a scrapbook or memory box full of polaroids of the two of you in every foreign city you visit

- Only buys guitar picks (or drumsticks) in your favourite colour because duh

- If this is an AU with Harry, you stay home or in a hotel room with Harry when he's young and you two watch all of James' performances live

- Then he'll write songs about Harry too ofc 

- The band lets you pick setlists and track orders

- James insists it's because you have the best taste, but the other guys don't mind since they often can't agree anyways

(nsfw headcanons below)

- He has a bucket list of cities where he wants to fuck you, and he makes a big deal of checking off places every time they go on tour

- Like imagine him "Babe, this'll be our first time in Australia, that means we'll have to cross Sydney and Perth off the list"

- He has recorded your moans and used them in the background of a song, but it's quite blended in so nobody notices and it's like your little secret 

- He once told you to sit on the amp while he plays iykyk

- A lot of quickies backstage where it ends just in time for him to perform 

- Him kicking the other boys off the tour bus so you two can have some privacy 

- If he's a guitarist/bassist, you know he's good with his hands

- If he's a drummer, you know he has the best damn rhythm

- Take those both however you will

- If he goes on tour without you, the day he returns will be nothing but sex to make up for all that lost time

[lieutenantfloyd]

MW2 men + General headcanons

Includes: Ghost, Soap, Alejandro, Price, Gaz, and Rodolfo

Ghost

Keeps a hello Kitty keychain in his pocket at all times (and can’t sleep without it)

Insists on getting stuffed crust every time he/someone orders pizza

Spends a lot of time daydreaming

Is always listening to music (It keeps him alert and helps keep his anxiety away)

Has bad sensory issues + ticks and intrusive thoughts

Hates cilantro (but doesn’t think it tastes like soap)

Isn’t allowed to use sharp objects in the kitchen

Sometimes eats toothpaste *as a treat*

Has a library card and only uses it to check out joke books intended for 3rd grader’s 

Never returns the books and now has thousands of dollars in late fees

Soap

His favorite food is cherry pie

 Eats multiple bowls of cereal a day (Price is becoming concerned)

Isn’t a huge fan of his Mohawk, but he thinks it makes him look tougher

Reads romance books in his free time

Meticulously shapes his eyebrows every few weeks

Drinks orange juice after brushing his teeth every morning

Spends way too much money on Marzipan De La Rosa + cries every time it breaks

Alejandro

Smells like vanilla, leather, and sage with a hint of roses

Keeps hard candy in his pockets at all times

Rudy is the only person he trusts to cut his hair

Lives on his family’s ranch outside of Las Almas

Frequently invites Los Vaqueros to his ranch and always makes sure they have a warm meal and a safe place to sleep

Comes from a long line of Vaqueros, and named Los Vaqueros in their honor

Gives great, albeit unsolicited, advice

His favorite song is California Love by 2Pac

Makes sure both TF 141 and Los Vaqueros know they can come to him for anything, even the most small of problems

Price

Has three older sisters

Is a natural ginger

Spent most of his childhood in Australia

Watches early 2000’s romcoms in his bunk when he’s deployed (and always ends up sobbing into his pillow)

Has a wide knowledge of Middle age and Saxon history

Loves a good mocktail

Reads a lot of Historical fiction

Has accidentally eaten dog treats (thinking they were cookies) on more than one occasion

His hat was a gag Christmas gift from Laswell but he thought it was serious + is his favorite gift he’s ever received

Dresses up as Santa every year and forces everyone to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas

Gaz

Didn't join the army when he was 18, and instead worked on yachts and charter ships for a few seasons

Struggles with self confidence + often feels like he doesn't belong with 141

Has very strong opinions on the PlayStation vs Xbox debate

Really admired Ghost, but is too nervous to tell him

His favorite video game is DBH

Is in a secret Book/Movie club with Price and Soap

Develops a crush on almost everyone he meets

Rudy

Has family in South Texas and spent a lot of time there as a kid

Has always dreamed of being a singer/songwriter 

Was a very shy/socially anxious kid (and still struggles with social anxiety)

Is a a massive soccer fan + was captain of the neighborhood soccer team

Growing up he spoke Spanglish at home. Which is why he doesn’t really have an accent despite understanding a lot more English than he speaks 

When speaking English he often trips over his words + has to ask Alejandro for the right word/translation

Is a follower, not a leader

is 4-6 years younger than Alejandro

Has several older sisters who helped raise him

First met Alejandro when he was 10-12 years old because he briefly dated one of Rudy’s sisters

After they broke up, Alejandro still came around to visit Rudy, and the two quickly became like brothers

Wasn’t interested in joining the Army at first, but Alejandro convinced him

[reminiscingtonight]

Dreams with Ona please

Dreams Blurb

A/N: This takes place after the HC!

“You’re here. In Barcelona.” Ona’s eyes are wide, mouth agape with surprise.

You nervously scratch at the back of your head. “Yeah, um they offered me a really great contract. And Barca’s a top team to play for.”

You haven’t seen Ona since that day she left you in the hospital bed in Australia. You sent a congratulatory text to her after Spain’s world cup win, but other than liking your message, the two of you haven’t interacted since.

Your rehab back to full health was hard. Between balancing the new-kid feeling of being injured on a new team and trying to nurse yourself back to full health, when the offer to play for Barcelona came up, it seemed like too good of an offer to refuse. You were a bit surprised by their willingness to sign someone who barely played any time since suffering such a serious injury, but you weren’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

And like people say, when Barcelona comes knocking, you can’t do anything but answer.

“Did you… did you come for me?” Ona asks, voice light as she tries to hide her hope. 

It makes you feel like shit when you have to shoot it down. “I came for football, Ona.”

“Oh,” she mutters, eyes and mouth both dropping.

“I’m not…” you frown, trying to get your thoughts in order. Ona always managed to make it hard to think around her. You’re quiet, eyes trained to the floor as you think long and hard about what you’re going to say. “I’m not saying I wouldn’t be opposed to eventually getting back together.” 

When Ona perks up instantly, you’re quick to put a hand up to stop her from getting too excited. “Eventually,” you stress, making sure Ona knows full well that you’re still hurt but not willing to completely scratch off the possibility of the two of you together again. “Not right now.”

“Eventually,” Ona nods, a small smile gracing her face at the word. 

“But until then, do you… would you like to show me around Barcelona?”

Ona takes your offered hand like it’s a fragile thing, only holding on tight when you interlace your fingers together. “I would love nothing more.”

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[f0point5]

Written Masterlist

In chronological order

Asks are marked with ✨

✨Max’s first win - Y/N is there when Max wins his first race

✨What if I told you I’m back? - Max returns from China and brings Y/N a gift

✨I don’t regret it one bit, ‘cause he had it coming - Mad Max makes an appearance when a guy makes you uncomfortable

✨They nicknamed her ‘The Bolter’ - Max deals with the aftermath of a fight when Y/N disappears

I had the time of my life, with you - Y/N speaks to Max before his last race of 2021

✨Your eyes are liquor, (your) body is gold - Max picks a very drunk Y/N up after a night out

✨(He’d build) a fire just to keep me warm - Y/N gets sick at the Australian Grand Prix

✨Everybody wants you, but I don’t like a gold rush - Max gets jealous

And I feel perfectly fine - Y/N returns home after her first date with Elliot

✨Honestly who (is he) to fight the alchemy - Max might be in love

✨Group padel - Y/N watched Max play padel with Lando, Daniel, and Fernando

✨Call it what you want to - Y/N and Max head out for the night and bump into an acquaintance

✨I’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you - Y/N gets jealous when Max meets a female driver

✨I’m only up when you’re not down - You finally see Max after his DNF in Australia

✨I (vow) I (will) always be yours - Max lands himself in hot water during a rare calm day at home

[sixshotsinatumbllr]

Miracle Logs

Resharing my first one-shot here as a text post because I enjoyed writing it so much. You can also find it on Ao3 here

We all know that fun trope in Aziracrow fics where Aziraphale and Crowley will miracle away clothing and after-sex mess, and miracle in lube. But surely that's all showing up on some kind of report somewhere.

Welcome to my very first ever fanfic, where Michael's ambitions to be the Duty Officer backfire spectacularly.

This one-shot is based on a post someone made on Tumblr a few months ago. I can't remember who made the original post, but seeing that I've pretty much claimed that idea and ran with it, so if anyone knows who made that post, let me know so I can credit the author. Thanks to @addledmongoose on Tumblr, who reminded me of that post and encouraged me to write this, and *exceptional* thanks and a big ol' gold star to @howmanyholesinswisscheese who was a fantastic beta- love your work. Fic under the cut.

‘Well, I am the Duty Officer, Uriel,’ the Archangel Michael says crisply, standing in front of the clear desk that had, up until very recently, been Gabriel’s. ‘The work must fall to someone in…these circumstances-’

‘And that person is you,’ Uriel says dryly.

‘And that person is me,’ Micheal replies smugly.

Uriel sighs, turns and walks off down the corridor without another word, disappearing into the luminosity of Heaven’s expanse.

Michael sits at the desk, with a wiggle so small it would be easy to miss it. She gestures gracefully with a well-manicured hand, and the image of a screen manifests itself in front of her. She smiles beatifically, leaning forward slightly, and starts to explore the additional windows and programs that Gabriel had on his screen.

‘Now, let’s see what we’ve got,’ she murmurs to herself as she starts to scroll and open unfamiliar programs.

There’s extra surveillance footage of the all the zones of Heaven itself, she notes with interest. Saraqael is talking to a low-order scrivener on one of the little boxes of closed-circuit footage. Michael flicks audio on; hears them talking about mundane paperwork. Nothing of interest, so she flicks the audio off again.

Swiping to the side, she catches the sight of Sandalphon staring out the windows to the simulation of the Pyramids of Giza. He vacantly brings a finger to his nose and picks around in it with a vigour that reminds Michael of his enthusiasm with smitings. Michael retches and clicks out of the screen. His non-corporeal body doesn’t even produce mucus…why would he do that?

She notes extra surveillance footage of Heaven itself. She zooms in on a screen, watches Saraqael talking to a low-order scrivener. She flips audio on and off- they are talking about mundane paperwork, nothing of interest there. She swipes to the side, sees Sandalphon standing out the windows, staring out to the simulation of the Pyramids of Giza. He vacantly brings a finger to his nose and starts picking it. Michael retches and clicks out of the screen. His non-corporeal body doesn’t even produce mucus. Why would he do that?

She opens the program labelled ‘Miracle Logs: Earth- Live’. A globe of the Earth opens, a simulation of the blue-green planet, so many of the Heavenly Host are prideful of, suspended and slowly turning on the screen. Almost immediately, there’s the sound of a single bell, a tinny ding, and flag appears over the landmass known as Australia. She clicks it, and it brings up to the screen:

= (Novalis) (Principality//Dorrigo, Australia, Earth) minor healing miracle: gifts focus to a neurodivergent human (0.02 Lazuri)=

This is interesting, Michael thinks. She touches the globe and yes, it is movable. She scrolls it around so that England comes into view, and zooms in on London. Her grin blooms wide across her face.. Here we go, she thinks. Documented proof of the shifty things the Principality Aziraphale gets up to- he’s long overdue for some radical discipline.

As is right on cue, a new notification flashes up onto the screen:

= Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): minor miracle: thwarts human will (convinces human to not buy a book) (0.02 Lazuri)=

Michael raises an eyebrow. She makes a note to schedule a meeting with the Metatron. It really is time for Aziraphale to come back to Heaven. But first to find some more…damning evidence. She settles into her chair.

A few minutes pass, and a new notification pops up:

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Activation of exception to Demonic wards (continuous), the Demon Crowley, AZ Fell and Co, Independant Embassy of Heaven, Soho, London - 0.03 Lazuri)=

Well. As far as incriminating evidence goes, this notification is useful. She’s working out how to screenshot and save the notification when another two notifications pop up.

= Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London Earth): minor miracle: lock doors, lowers blinds (0.01 Lazuri)=

= Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): minor miracle: bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape teleported from wine cellar to book shop (0.01 Lazuri)=

Michael rolls her eyes. Frivolous miracles, always a problem with Aziraphale. Wasting divine energy on his own selfish satisfactions. Gluttony. Drunkenness. Sin.

Michael sits restlessly at the screen for a few more minutes but nothing more happens. There are other duties she needs to attend to- she needs to catch up with Saraqael about a few things, and there’s that meeting with the Metatron to arrange. She wanders off, but leaves the notification alerts on.

She walks off, deals with a few things, and returns when she hears the sharp ding of the alerts start to go off more rapidly.

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Demonic corporeal contact enacted upon an angelic being: Demon touches Aziraphale’s face.=

Michael huffs again. Well this really is-

Ding.

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Demonic corporeal contact enacted upon an Angelic being: Demon kisses Aziraphale (lips)=

Ding.

Michael raises her eyebrows, feeling less sure about all of this Duty Officer nonsense now.

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Demonic corporeal contact enacted upon an Angelic being: Demon kisses Aziraphale (neck)=

Michael feels a rising flush moving up her neck to her cheeks. She tries to work out how to click out of the program, but before she can, the next run of notifications begins.

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Angelic corporeal contact enacted upon an Demonic being: Aziraphale removes demonic neck tie=

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): minor miracle: jacket, vest and shirt removed from demonic corporeal body (0.03 Lazuri)=

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth) blasphemes=

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Angelic corporeal contact enacted upon an Demonic being: Aziraphale touches Demonic chest=

Michael is… flummoxed.

She pages Uriel to the desk. It’s not long until the clicking of Uriel’s business heels on the hard white floors of Heaven is heard coming along the corridor.

Michael smiles sweetly at her as she approaches. ‘My Duty Officer shift is over,’ Michael says. ‘It’s your turn now.’

Surprised, and a little confused, Uriel nods. Michael stands and gestures to the chair, one eyebrow raised.

Uriel says nothing as she sits down at the desk, but from the tension around the side of her mouth, one could infer that she is feeling just a little bit proud. Like she’s proved something. She reaches out a hand, straightens the screen and with lift of her chin, turns her attention to the notifications streaming onto the soft, glowing screen.

And falters.

Michael is standing behind her. Michael had planned on walking away. On finding something far less taxing to do, something that might make her forget everything she’s seen today.

She can’t walk away.

Uriel watches with wide eyes as the next notification pops up: =Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Angelic corporeal contact enacted upon an Demonic being: Aziraphale engages with Demonic nipples (two)=

Uriel gestures almost without thinking, and a miracle block is enacted upon Aziraphale.

‘Good work, Uriel,’ Micheal stammers. ‘Exactly what I was about to do.’

‘I…um… don’t suppose you did the training to enact a Miracle Blocker on demons when they held it last century, did you?’ Uriel asks.

‘Ah, no.’ Michael replies, and they both slump a little.

–

Aziraphale tries the gesture again, confusedly. Crowley remains just as clothed (half-clothed?) as he was. Tangled as he is under the weight of Crowley’s body on the Chesterfield sofa, drunk with lust and wine, he’s rather unable to think about why his miracles aren’t working. He tries again. Nothing.

‘My miracles aren’t working,’ he says to Crowley, a purr in the demon’s ear, as the demon kisses up his neck and along his jaw. ‘Would you- ah- mind?’

Crowley looks down at him with a mischievous, joyous glint in his eye. ‘Oh I don’t mind, Angel,’ he says. “I don’t mind at all…’

–

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Demonic miracle enacted upon an Angelic being: tartan bow tie removed from angelic corporeal body (0.01 Lazuri)=

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Demonic miracle enacted upon an Angelic being: shoes and socks removed from angelic corporeal body (0.01 Lazuri)=

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Demonic miracle enacted upon an Angelic being: waistcoat removed from angelic corporeal body (0.01 Lazuri)=

Michael gulps. Uriel grabs Micheal’s arm with a surprisingly strong grip. Neither of them can look away.

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Demonic miracle enacted upon an Angelic being: remaining clothing removed from angelic corporeal body (0.03 Lazuri)=

Uriel clears her throat. ‘I- I guess he got impatient?’ she murmurs weakly.

They look at each other. Then away. Then back at the computer. There’s no real way of knowing what the Traitor and the Demon are up to. A pause in the miracles logged means no documentation. But neither of them are stupid.

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Demonic miracle enacted upon an Angelic being: lubrication manifested from the ether (0.04 Lazuri)=

‘What’s lubrication?’ Michael asks.

‘You don’t want to know,’ Uriel replies.

There is a long, heavy pause from the screen, and then all of a sudden, sharp ding of the alert starts going crazy.

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth) blasphemes=

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth) blasphemes=

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth) blasphemes=

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth) uses language not befit to an angel=

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth) blasphemes=

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth) uses language not befit to an angel=

=outbreak of unscheduled DIVINE ECSTASY (666 kilometre radius, centred in Soho, London, Earth)=

=outbreak of unscheduled DEMONIC RAPTURE (unknown radius, centred in Soho, London, Earth)=

Michael and Uriel stare at the screen, which has gone still. Finally. The absence of the searing ding of the notification alert is as keen and sharp as the alert itself. They don’t move, they don’t look at each other. They just… absorb what they have witnessed. They need a moment.

Another ding makes them both jump.

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth) uses language not befit to an angel=

=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): Evidence of Demonic miracle enacted upon an Angelic being: corporeal bodily fluids (various, angelic and demonic) teleported to the ether (0.04 Lazuri)=

=Evidence of a demonic miracle enacted upon an angelic being Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth): corporeal bodily fluids (various, angelic and demonic) teleported to the ether (0.03 Lazuri)

‘How- how in Heaven did Gabriel deal with this?’ Michael spits, flustered. Uriel sits at the desk, her head in her hands.

Before the Memory wipe:

Gabriel sits at his desk. It’s been a boring day of banal bureaucracy, but now it’s his afternoon off. And there’s nothing he’d rather do than catch up on his favourite Miracle Logs.

The Miracle Logs are his favourite thing in Heaven, because these logs will eventually form documentary evidence of a successful relationship between an Angel and a Demon. A precedent.

Gabriel’s not stupid. He knows that there has been something going on for a long time between Aziraphale and Crowley. Possibly even before he himself started seeing Beezelbub in an extra-professional capacity.

He hadn’t paid much attention to Aziraphale for 6000 years, irritating Principality that he is. But now, he counts himself as Aziracrow Shipper number #1. Because if they can do it- go off together, be their own side- then perhaps it’s possible for Gabriel and Beezelbub too.

He zooms into AZ Fell and Co. Nothing much is happening. The last miracle (=Aziraphale (Principality//Soho, London, Earth: minor miracle: boil kettle- 0.015 Lazuri) blinks softly on the screen from an hour ago.

Gabriel miracles an anonymous angelic temptation (temptation to be in the same physical vicinity) over the London area, and narrows the scope to the Demon Crowley. And then he miracles an hamper of gourmet food and the finest of wine (he knows Aziraphale likes to sully his celestial body with gross matter, although Gabriel can’t see the appeal himself) to be anonymously delivered to the bookshop.

He sits back on his chair, and waits for the notifications to begin. It doesn’t take long.

Ding!

=Aziraphale (Principality, Soho, London, Earth): evidence of demonic proximity (AZ Fell and Co, Soho, London, Earth)=

=Aziraphale (Principality, Soho, London, Earth): Activation of exception to demonic wards (continuous), the Demon Crowley, AZ Fell and Co., Soho, London - 0.03 Lazuri)=

Bonus:

It’s been a shit day in Hell. They are all shit days, there’s been rather more than 6000 years of them. But things are looking up for Beelzebub, Grand Duke of Hell. Lounging at their desk, feet crossed and propped up on the table, Beelzebub lounges back in their throne with a box of popcorn in their lap.

They have their screen open to the Demonic Miracles Log: Earth- Live. The dings of the alerts- coming thick and fast- can only just be heard over the screams of the damned in the corridors of Hell.

‘Nice work, Crowley,’ they mutter with a leering grin. ‘At least one of us is getting some.’ Beezlebub throws a piece of popcorn into the air and catches it in their mouth.