I love the detail of Tammy trying to make Patty like vodka, how it's there at the beginning of their relationship and doesn't go away.
And of course this is one way the show tells us that in the end Allison knows Patty better and loves her for who she is - real food, menthols, staying in the home she's always known, and no vodka.
But what I really love about it is that Tammy can be controlling sometimes without being Kevin.
Sam, too, pulls occasional power plays on Allison and (unintentionally, for the most part) gaslights her about Kevin. They both have their shitty moments (as do Allison and Patty), but occasional shitty moments or even an ongoing not-so-subtle wish for a partner to be different than who they really are does not make someone an abuser.
Allison and Tammy both ignore Patty's instruction to not go look for Neil, and we see this as care for her on both their parts. (Even though we know it's also got a selfish motivation for Allison, btw.)
Even though at some point or another everyone uses one or more of Kevin's tactics, they don't do it in the all-encompassing, self-serving, total control of the narrative way that Kevin does. There's no sitcom world where Tammy's the lovable if bossy cop (Brooklyn Nine Nine, Barney Miller, the Naked Gun franchise, so many copaganda examples) or Sam is the good-hearted hapless recovering alcoholic boss in a relationship with his employee (Cheers). And yes, because of aspects of their identities relative to a Kevin, it is harder for them to control the narrative in that totalizing way (Sam says as much early in the series), but also they are simply not trying to. They are just flawed people who fuck up sometimes.
I love that I bristled at what I saw as Tammy's red flags early on but came to see her genuine care for Patty. And when she broke up with Patty for virtually the same reason Kurt did, I didn't hate her the way I hated him. Tammy deserves to be with someone who considers Tammy their favorite person.
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the librarian in kcfh 1.02 assuming the heroine of Allison's "romance novel" has an affair with her neighbor when the heroine is actually ALLISON and PATTY IS HER NEIGHBOR
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