#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[crushedsweets]

Does Nina and Kate have an argument before? 

Yes!!! Kate doesn’t know how to navigate relationships and Nina is so used to destroying all of her own, so it would be absurd for them to never argue..

I went hella off topic from the argument and just started talking about them randomly cuz I’ve been on vacation and miss my gf. Which means ninakate weighs heavy on my heart

The first time they met was an argument actually.. sort of.. kinda… Nina thought she was Jeff, nearly tackled her, so Kate slammed her against a tree and cussed her out till Toby came and made her back down .. LOL ok that’s not really an argument but Nina was really upset.

In an AU of creeped where ninakate happens, they mess around without telling anyone for a while. Mostly just making out and laying together and rapidly pretending nothings going on when someone walks in(cuz Kate doesn’t like trouble and Nina was specifically told not to bother Kate).

But it’s kinda difficult to figure out cuz Kate starts to feel kind of possessive over Nina(considering she hasn’t had anything like this before, Nina’s her first everything) and Nina likes to push that. Purposefully talks about people she’s meeting, scrolls dating apps in front of her, cries about Jeff. Thinks it’s okay cuz “I’m not your girlfriend we aren’t exclusive you can’t get jealous” .. eventually Kate makes a remark towards Nina and Nina is VERY defensive and VERY argumentative. Kate tries to be like “alright whatever Nina i don’t care this isn’t my problem you’re not my problem” but Nina keeps pushing and pushing. I can’t really imagine Kate having a screaming match with anyone, she has the most intense anxiety and lack of energy and little self respect, so she would just keep insisting “I don’t care.”

Which would only further upset nina cuz she wants Kate to care 💀💀💀💀 ITS BAD .

There’s a LOT for them to learn from each other. Nina desperately needs so much attention and validation. She grew up receiving material goods to make up for workaholic parents, and eventually only receiving positive attention on her appearance/what she can offer people.

Meanwhile, Kate thinks she wants to be left alone. She thinks she’s better off rotting in the mines and never making any connections. Frequently goes back to Lauren’s skeleton as a reminder of how badly she fucked that up. She doesn’t think she’s made for people anymore, considering she spent so many years just hanging out with Charlie (practically a zombie) and slendy (literally a monster.) she has no relationship experience beyond her rocky friendship with CR and an unrequited, stifled crush on Lauren.

Nina needs to learn how to be comfortable with herself, learn how to exist without external validation, learn how little her appearance should matter, learn how to love herself, learn how to be loved for who she is rather than how she looks or what she can do, learn how to be gentle again.

Kate needs to learn how to seek people out and let people in, learn how to communicate instead of shutting up when something bothers her, learn how to stop withdrawing, learn to stop hating herself for every little thing she’s done, learn to take care of herself, learn to see herself as a human being again. . . And also needs to learn how to be gentle

I like how they reflect each other in the gentle aspect too… like physically and initially Nina is really good at being gentle. Little lingering touches and sweet hugs and kisses and giggling and cupping someone’s face. But her words sting like hell. She throws plates and screams and assumes the worst of everyone around her. Meanwhile, I think Kate’s the opposite. She grabs too hard and her hands are so rough and she shoves and nudges and maims and hurts everything around her, even unintentionally. But she’s soft spoken, avoids eye contact, usually does what she’s told, tries to get in and out of every situation as quickly and quietly as possible. Yeah she’s blunt and straightforward and a bit too honest, but you can tell she doesn’t do it to be mean. She thinks she’s being helpful and good in that regard. So even that dynamic itself is something they’d likely argue about, but also something they really need to learn from each other about

Idek man omfg . I just really am fond of them. This is so goofy.

[drewsbuzzcut]

Vineyard Adventures

mat barzal x model!fem!reader

a visceral in doses fic

warnings: steamy, makeouts, touching, mentions of smut related topics, consumption of alcohol, and i think that’s all

You were one full glass and many samples of wine deep into your date with Mat. He had signed the both of you up for a wine tasting and lunch in Tuscany, Italy. He thought it would be a nice opportunity to have a childless date- as your son was with Beverly. It wasn’t something Mat and you could always do when you both had busy schedules and a one year old.

There were different variations of cheese and fruits to pair with all the different wines; it was something you took advantage of, so you could keep yourself from getting tipsy too fast.

You were having such a good time. There were other people taking part in the experience, but it made it better because you got to meet new people. Plus, the weather was perfect. The sun was shining, leaving a dust of pink on your cheeks, and the breeze blew through the air, making everything feel fresh.

The set up was very beautiful. Right now, you were seated at a long table, trying the first round of samples of dry wine and picking which one you wanted to have as your drink. Later, you’d take a group tour of the vineyard before making your way back to the table to have a very large lunch.

As said before, you’re trying to drink slowly, wanting to actually remember this day, and not wanting to come home plastered to a child that you still had to care for. So, you were sipping from your wine glass and talking to a lady sitting across from you. Mat, well he was in awe with you. He listened as you laughed with the people you were talking to, the melodious sound made him melt. Your hair was down and each time the wind blew he could smell your musky perfume. One of your hands was placed in his lap, holding one of his hands. He could feel the vibrations from your laughs, making him feel even more connected to you. Every now and then you’d lean into Mat, and he enjoyed the feel of your silky, sun kissed skin.

“Mat?” You whisper to him, breaking him out of his trance.

You had noticed that he was quiet and off in his own world, so you wanted to make sure he was fine.

“Yeah?” He says, brows frowned in concern that something might be wrong.

You adjust yourself in your chair so that you’re faced more towards him, and lay your palm on his cheek to gain all of his attention.

“You’ve been quiet for a while, just wanted to make sure everything was alright,” you explain.

He just gives you that gorgeous smile that never fails to make you blush, and assures you that everything is fine.

“Are you sure? Is it because I’m talking to other people while we’re technically on a date? Oh my god! I didn’t even realize. I’m sorry; I’m not trying to ignore you,” you blurt out under your breath, only loud enough for Mat to hear.

“No, babe. I promise it’s okay. I’m actually enjoying seeing you talk with the others. I love looking at you like this,” he says with a small chuckle and grin.

“Like what?”

You really didn’t understand how much Mat adored looking at you and just listening to your voice. Of course you knew how much he admired you, but you never really noticed just how much attention he paid to you. You had him hanging on your every word, since the very first time he met you.

“Your personality shining through, willing to let anyone see just how beautiful you are, inside and out,” he whispers in your ear. He had moved his chair even closer to yours, and moved so that he invaded your space.

You tilt your head into his out of shyness of his kind words. He just presses a loving kiss to your pulse point on your neck.

“I love you,” you mutter into the skin of his cheek before staring into his eyes, and moving them to look at his lips.

“I love you,” he says and happily gives you the kiss you wanted.

An hour goes by and you’ve downed almost two more glasses of wine. You’re not drunk, but you’re starting to feel lighter, and your want for Mat grows stronger.

You had to sit in your chair and watch his every movement. The way his nose would crinkle when he’d laugh to the way he draped an arm over your chair, letting his fingertips glide against your shoulder which sent chills throughout your entire body. It got even more unbearable when you’d watch him drink from his wine glass. It doesn’t sound like something sexy, but you knew he wasn’t a big fan of wine like you were, so him planning this date with your interests in mind and him drinking wine with you, was incredibly attractive. It didn’t help that he would lick his lips after every drink he took.

For his amazing efforts, you’d be attending a basketball game with him when the season starts. You will even take him to his favorite restaurant, and just treat him to whatever he wanted because he definitely deserves it.

When it’s time for the group tour to start, you are tipsy. Something you hadn’t been since you had your baby. Mat holds onto your hand a little tighter, always needing to protect you.

At different spots where the tour guide talks about the history of the place, they hand out even more samples of different wines. You couldn’t deny any of them, and when you found your favorite of the bunch, you were given a glass full. You did share your first glass with Mat, though. The second glass was all yours, so by the time you were almost done with the tour, you were a little passed tipsy. You knew how told hold your alcohol, but this was meant to be relaxing for you, so you let yourself indulge.

“Maty,” you sigh out as you grip Mat’s bicep.

“Yeah, baby?” He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear and it makes you swoon.

You giggle, momentarily forgetting what you wanted to ask him. You have to think for a couple of minutes before it finally comes back to you.

“Is this thing almost finished?” You whisper into his ear.

“Umm… I’m not sure, why?” He asks.

“Kiss me,” you don’t give him time to respond, you just simply stand in front of him and lean into his body, attaching your lips to his. You’re both so caught up, you don’t even care that you’re now separated from the group.

Mat comes to his senses and separates from you, causing you to pout.

His hands that were on your waist are now holding onto your hands. He looks around behind you and then behind himself. You want to ask what he was doing, but before you get the chance to, he’s guiding you to an empty, dim lit hallway. You smirk in response and follow him willingly.

“Maty,” you whisper into the silence. The silence that was way too loud, filled with the buzzing lust lurking in every corner of your bodies.

He pulls you flush against him, one hand gripping your hip and the other holding the back of your neck. Both of your hands are pressed against his torso, relishing in the feeling of his rock hard muscles tensing under your touch.

You stare at each other for a while, imagining what you both could be doing if you were behind closed doors, and on a comfortable bed. You know that his head would be buried between your legs, eating you out until you were a squirming mess. You squeeze your thighs together at the thought and that catches Mat’s attention. He dips his head down, secretly trying to hide his smirk, and drags his nose along the side of your neck all the way down to your collarbones, smelling your musky perfume that you always use. He didn’t care that the halter neck of your dress made it a little more difficult.

“Oh you think your slick, huh, hotshot?” You ask, feeling his not so well hidden smirk.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mat answers.

When you start to reply, he’s already pressing kisses all over your neck, causing the words to die on your tongue.

You bring your hands to his back, wanting so badly to rip his shirt off. For now you just let your hands grip the material tightly.

Mat feels your nails trying not to dig in his skin, so he decides to tempt you even more. Both hands travel down the length of your silky, pink dress and continue down to your smooth legs. The feeling of his rough hands softly traveling down your body makes you hot, desire flowing through your veins and settling in your core. You lift a leg up and set it on Mat’s waist as a way to bring him even closer to you.

For a moment you both just stay still. You look into each other’s eyes and just float in the warmth and want that’s taken over. Mat brings a hand up to caress your cheek, his thumb rubbing your bottom lip. His eyes move lower, watching your chest move with every erratic breath you take. You love being the center of his attention, so you wait for the perfect moment to suck on his thumb, and when you do, his eyes are flashing to yours. Your tongue wraps around his digit and you make sure to make a show of sucking it, small moans and hums falling from your mouth. When he pulls his finger out of your mouth, he’s quick to crash his lips on yours, sucking on your bottom lip.

Mat moves you further down the hallway where there’s barely any light. It’s filled with boxes and might be dusty, but none of you cared enough to leave.

The lip lock gets sloppier and rougher. You wouldn’t be surprised if there would be bruises on your lips afterwards.

“Maty,” you whine when he moves away.

“Look at what I found,” he says, showing you a bottle of wine that you had no idea where he got it.

The label reads “Capezzana: Vin Santo Di Carmignano Riserva.” You had never heard of it before, and it wasn’t one of the sample you had earlier.

Mat opens the bottle, as it had already been opened, and brings the bottle to your lips.

You allow him to pour some in your mouth, and you have to restrain yourself from taking your clothes off and letting him have his way with you. The look in his eyes was dark and so sexy.

After your small drink, Mat sets the bottle down and kisses you again.

“Fuck,” Mat whines at the sweet taste left on your tongue. It’s so good he can’t resist the chance of sucking on your tongue when his lips are back on yours.

Your hands abandoned his neck and are now satisfied with being buried in his hair, pulling on the soft strands.

“What has gotten into you?” You ask.

“You’re so sexy and just seeing you enjoy yourself after the stressful year you’ve had; I love seeing you happy,” Mat whispers.

You pout and become a puddle of mush at his sweet words. You were so appreciative of how much Mat had stepped up- especially with a busy hockey season. He was the best father, after all the fears he had, and he was the best partner you could ask for.

“How about you, hotshot? You’re sexy, drinking wine with me even though you hate it,” you speak into his lips.

Mat’s hold on your waist tightens and he buries his head in your neck. He sometimes got shy whenever you would compliment him with sincerity. His hands travel up your back, stopping just below your shoulder blades. It was his quiet way of making the moment sweet.

You slot your lips with his, savoring the way this kiss was softer, slower, but just as intimate as the others shared. Once the kiss turns into pecks, he presses them from your jaw to your cheek, making you giggle.

“We should probably head back,” he tells you.

“If we must,” you groan out.

He leads you back to the table, hand in hand, your hair looking a bit disheveled and your lips plump from all the kissing. You have to keep yourself from looking into the eyes of all the others. They didn’t need to know what just happened, and you didn’t want to think about the looks you were probably getting.

“Nice of you all to join us,” the tour guide says as we sit in our seats.

Mat smirks and I just smile and nod. Hopefully no one would post about it online, not that they really knew what happened.

Mat and you get through lunch with only little embarrassment from the knowing looks you both were getting, but besides that, everything was lovely. You continued to chat and laugh, and even allowed yourself to practically sit on Mat’s lap for most of it. You didn’t need to care about what the others were thinking.

Mat even surprised you when he flagged down one of the servers to request something.

“Can we each have a glass of Vin Santo Di Carmignano Riserva, please?”

You look at him surprised, not expecting him to ask for that certain wine. When you make eye contact with him, he shoots you a wink and a small smirk, making your heart pound faster, wanting to escape into his hands. He always knows how to make you feel giddy.

“I would actually like to buy two bottles,” Mat says when the wine was brought out to the both of you. You just let out a laugh and pull him away from his conversation to give him a loving kiss. You loved your man so much.

a/n: This part is set in the future bc if you noticed, I mentioned that they have a one year old, so say 4 years into the relationship. I hope you all enjoy!!!

[blues824]

So I saw your requests were open. Could you write something for a reader who believes humans are inherently flawed? Like they think people are born bad and don't change easy, and are easily swayed by selfish things? These ideas came from things that happened to them as they were growing up. (The reader is also human, and fully acknowledges this, and does there best to be nice to set them apart from the rest? Sorta like Rollo's hatred for magic, but toned down a notch.) Thank you if you decide to write this, and have a nice day!

It’s alright, Anon! I chose the Diasomnia crew because I love writing for Sebek and Malleus. @animusicnerd was so kind as to allow me to use her lore post

Gender-neutral reader.

Malleus Draconia

He learned about your belief when you both were on a walk through the night. He doesn’t quite recall what brought up the topic, but he was saddened to hear you say such things. He believes that everyone has flaws, but it’s one’s duty to either embrace them or reject them.

He understands where you’re coming from, since the things that you experienced weren’t the best example of his beliefs. Those humans were people that rejected their own flaws and projected their own insecurities on you. In fact, the faes back in the Briar Valley felt the same way as you do about humans.

However, his dream is to unite the two. If he can get you to see past the flaws that were bestowed upon humankind, then you both can come together (preferably in matrimony) and show everyone that faes and humans can get along. Not just that, but he could get you to see that you could help solve the problems that your people like to create.

Lilia Vanrouge

You told him about how you believed humankind was inherently flawed when you were learning about the war between humans and fae in Briar Valley, and he was helping you since he was a general in the war. Even though he saw the ferocity firsthand, he didn’t particularly agree on your viewpoint, but he saw where you get that ideology.

In the war against humans, he had seen and learned about the reasoning behind them attacking, and he agreed that their reasoning was absolutely horrible. However, their behavior did not set a precedent for other humans. He believed in Malleus’s dream to unite the two and increase the human population and half-fae population for more diversity.

He hopes that he can get you to see that not all humans are bad (for example, you), and that even though you had bad experiences with them that they aren’t the example you should base humanity as a whole off of. He will be patient since trauma doesn’t go as easy as dirt and grime does with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, but he will be there every step of the way to your emotional recovery.

Silver

You at first steered clear of him, and that made him chase you (think of that moment in Sleeping Beauty when Phillip sneaks up on Aurora). Your heart is conflicted because Silver has shown nothing but kindness to you, but your mind is telling you that you can’t trust him.

However, if there was any lesson that Lilia drilled into his son, it was to never give up on the people that you love. So, he begged you through letters (this man stayed up with Sebek so that the poet-in-denial could help the sleepy human write letters that could possibly make you swoon).

Silver is one of the few humans that reside in the Briar Valley, and he knows that he has one fatal flaw: his exhaustion. However, since he was chosen to be a knight of Malleus, he had to have the virtue of a knight to enter knighthood. With this reasoning, you grew closer to him. Now, the two of you can be seen in each other’s arms as he naps and you just bask in his company.

Sebek Zigvolt

You also steered clear of him, but you were also conflicted considering Malleus and Lilia gave you a good impression on faes but you had a bad impression of humankind. As the wise Bo Burnham once said, “a half-good-half-bad-half-boy”. 

He learned about your personal philosophy, and he too was conflicted. He also grew insecure of himself, and tried to lower his tone around you to try and give you a better impression. He tried to convince you that he rejected his human side constantly, but it seems as though it got in his way again.

It was through a poem that he wrote to you that contained a line from your favorite book that really got your attention. You realized that he tried to understand you and even tried to change himself for you, and you saw that maybe people can change. So, you went to him one day and placed a kiss on his cheek, which let him know that you returned his feelings.

[midnightinwales]

@grapesnolives thank you for the link, I'll check it out during the weekend. I agree that their experimentation is always beautiful and fascinating to hear. They had singular sensitivity to the emotion – sound axis. And you can never be bored with it.

I've moved us to a new post, since our conversation is veering off the topic of the original post and I think we've hijacked enough of that already ;)

Unfortunately, I don't have the source for that quote about Robert, as I have been consuming a lot (and I mean A LOT) about LZ in the past few months, but in quite a chaotic manner and I haven't been taking notes. But If I come across it again, I'll send it to you. I was also surprised by it, but I guess it makes sense, since it was originally Jimmy's band and I believe that as time went by and Jimmy was losing his grip on reality more and more, Robert might have felt constricted a bit or started to develop a need for more independence. Nothing unusual in that, it happens in pretty much any band. He might have also been genuinely annoyed at the endless solos, quite like Bonzo, and JPJ probably too. I mean, to make a six and a half minutes long song into 45 minutes is both amazing and unnecessary lol. And Robert did have a bit of an imposter syndrome, still has, actually. He often spoke about them as 'three musicians and me'. 'I'm just a wedding singer who sang with musicians', and how his elaborate singing style developed as a method to stay in the song, cause the long musical intervals made him feel irrelevant. He definitely wanted to impress Jimmy and there was a lot of reverence for him as the worldly, knowledgeable, experienced musician who created his own band. But that began to disappear when Jimmy got heavily into heroin imo and definitely lost after 1977. Robert's priorities changed. His view of life changed. The love was still there, but Jimmy was no longer someone that Robert had to live up to, so to speak. Now he was someone to protect (and, in a way, someone to mourn). But the initial experiences formed Robert as a singer, set his standards and informed his view of musical expression.

I've also noticed that he makes fun of Bonzo (the diarrhea jokes will live with me forever, thanks Bob :/ ) and JPJ (and himself, occasionally), but not of Jimmy. IMO that's because he and Bonzo were 'bros', mates, and that's typical friendly behaviour in this kind of relation. JPJ was also a guy in the band and concert is entertainment, so it's only fair to make people laugh. It created a sense of dynamics, each band member had his quirks and image to play with. But with Jimmy he is only ever sweet and attentive. Not least because Jimmy Page can't take a joke imo. He's quite fragile and Robert knew it very, very well. But this doesn't read to me as reverential, but rather as caring. He knew not to make Jimmy the centre of attention that he might not see as entirely friendly. And his mysterious image had to be uphold too. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but whenever Robert speaks to Jimmy his tone of voice slightly changes. It becomes softer and warmer. ‘is it alright, love?’ kind of thing. He definitely wanted to be in Jimmy’s good books and for more than one reason.

I’m not surprised you thought they were a duet, seeing the photos. I recall seeing photos of LZ throughout my life and they’ve always been focused on J and R. I didn’t know what the other band members looked like before I started listening to the band. I knew Bonzo’s name because of his tragic death, like I do many other musicians’ who met their ends way too early, and knew that he is recognised as one of the, if not the greatest rock drummer of all times. But that was about it. IMO, he is the greatest of them all and he’s the only one whose drumming makes me genuinely tear up. There is as much emotion in Bonzo’s drumming as there is in Robert’s singing. Astonishing.

If you’re asking how I got into the story of J and R, it was quite simple really. I remembered the photos I’ve mentioned (mostly the WLL mic in the hair singing) which have always looked very suggestive to me and had heard before that part of the magic of LZ was the interplay between the two, and so when I finally got into their music I started doing my research to see if my initial impression was correct. And found plenty of evidence to confirm it, some of it much more straightforward then expected. But if you’re asking how I got into LZ then I’d say it was time for them to come into my life. One night on YT they appeared on my list and the journey began. I knew some of their songs before (STH, WLL, Dazed, a couple of others) and I had quite an emotional experience listening to Stairway as a young teenager, but that was the extent of it. I firmly believe that music comes to us at the right time and there’s no point in forcing it. It will find you if it’s meant to. And it will be a journey you’ll never forget.

Have you always been interested in drumming or is it the first time when it has captured your attention so much? Have you been into LZ for a long time?

[imagionationstation]

I HEARD YOU TAKE UNHINGED HEADCANON RANTS AND THIS GAYASS FISH HAS RUINED MY LIFE

I have a 2012 rewrite au, and I fell down a rabbit hole solely based on the hc that Xever saw shredder as a vague father figure, and then like all of his interactions with Karai are always “Do you want me to call dad?” “I will kill you?!” “Alright..”

THEY ARE SIBLINGS AND YOU CANT TELL ME IM WRONG

Also there’s enough problematic men in the foot, so I just… hit him w the “I’m not a creep!” ray and he’s just some dude

This is a theatre kid, this man is a professional yapper. Shredder’s mad at him? Turn the conversation around to how sad shredders life is and that he shouldn’t have to be forced to commit atrocities because of Hamato Yoshi. He’s a pr girlie

Also, WHYS HE SO ZESTY????

“I HEARD YOU TAKE UNHINGED HEADCANON RANTS”

Okay, firstly, what grape vine is talking about me and why?

Secondly-

Can you headcanon your own AU?? Is that possible?? Is that a thing people do?? All the potential to say “I think this would be a neat canon” but isn’t not actually canon- this sounded better with every word that came out of my mouth. I am doing this.

AU HEADCANONS, BABY.

I AM THE AU COLLECTOR AND COMMENTER

(Evidently. I’m not sure how that happened, tbh-)

GIMME EVERY AU CONCEPT YOU GOT SO I MAY FEAST

Fair warning to all- when I am invested in a idea, I don’t know how to shut up. So. If you give me an ask, you’re agreeing to everything that comes after. I am not liable for incoming rants.

Xever is all kind of zesty (in AU and canon) because it makes him notable and fun!

I love so many interactions with him and Raphael in canon. There was no better character for him to “understand” than Xever, mkay, I absolutely loved how Baxter's Gambit was handled. They would have been SUCH a duo had they not chosen different sides to fight on and HECK YEAH with the Shredder father figure AU.

In the canon, I wondered about a few things a lot- like, Shredder hunted this man down and broke him out of jail to join his crime syndicate. And for someone who’s supposed to be the best of the best, that man is no match for the turtles. Got to wonder why Shredder wasted his time on Xever or bothered keeping him around after he got mutated when he was such a hassle as a fishy…

He even went as far as keeping a kidnapped scientist to build working legs and breathable air suit for the guy. Like, in all seriousness, for a big evil crime lord who threatens to off them every day, he sure is intent on keeping his lackies around.

BUT ANWAYS-

In regards to your AU, THANK YOU for taking away his creep act because that’s the main reason that he’s not a top fave for me. I don’t know why they reversed the “I’m not a creep” ray for canon, but I guess it was an experiment that they took way too far and couldn’t bring themselves to back out of.

As Karai is an expert manipulator, I’d like to know if she gets her skills from him or if he does from her- or if they adapt from each other. He feeds into the dad’s drama while Karai could not be more fed up with it. The clash over this topic so often. I can see it.

I think it would be ironic for Karai to have an older brother figure who eventually gets brought into the found family because Leo would have to adapt to having MORE older relatives. I like the idea of Xever being a “cousin”, because that would technically make her a cousin too, and Karai sure acts like she’s more of a bossy cousin than an older sister. So it works out.

NO WAIT

Xever has a villain name, right? 😱

Mikey has to villain name a villain mutant- it’s like, 2012TMNT law.

BEING AN AU IS NO EXCUSE /jk

(Completely messing with you. Do as you want.)

[thepictureofjune]

Nolin: an argument between lovers

— the frustration of an unloved boy is met with the refusal of the loved one and somewhere along the lines it all goes wrong

Regina Spektor sings her song in two very different voices and tones, forming perhaps two different identities. Which leads us to the second interpretation: this is the story of Nolin told from both sides.

The other interpretation of this song and the scenes found here

The song starts in a high whispery kind of voice, almost like the singer is about to choke up on her own words. It also starts off like a story, like we are about to hear the story of someone. And we do, we hear the story of Nolin. Noah never saw Colin coming, never saw it coming that Colin would help him with Freddie, that they would form a bond that relies on trust and friendship. He never saw it coming that he would enjoy Colins presence as much as he did, that the two could do literally nothing together and still have fun. Noah never saw Colin coming. 

The second verse is sung lower, clearer. Because Colin is standing at the door, in the midst of saying goodbye to all his friends and he has to assure himself of something. He convinces himself it’s alright that Noah isn’t coming. It’s alright that Noah didn’t even say goodbye. It’s alright that Noah doesn’t love him. 

Noah sits on the bed after having been literally insulted and put in his place by Joel and he comes to the realization that his pride won’t let him say goodbye. It’s his pride that’s got the best of him, that keeps him on that bed, that keeps him from saying goodbye. And pride is a sin and it’s Noah's biggest one. He stuffs himself with that sin because it is easier to accept than humiliation. Pride is easier to deal with than the fact that it’s his fault that Colin is leaving, so he chokes up on it. He has no choice but to choke up on his sins. (“Hey open wide, here comes original sin.”) 

And now Colin stands at the gate and Noah really isn’t coming and he has to assure himself a second time that it’s alright yet it’s harder this time around. Because with each step he takes it becomes more real that Noah isn’t coming and even when his name is called, Colin has to assure himself that it’s alright that Joel was his final goodbye and not Noah. 

Because no one’s got it all and Colin apparently isn’t allowed to have love. As the voice gets louder in the repetition of “No one’s got it all”, Colin also grows more frustrated at the thought because he was so sure that Noah liked him back, that there was something between them and that Noah was worth staying for. Only to, in the end, realize that Noah just wasn’t something that Colin could ever have. And he just has to be alright with that. 

Colins probable frustration connects with the harsh accusations of the song that follow. “Power to the people we don’t want it, we want pleasure.” Because screw Colin for thinking Noah could want something that would mean fighting for. Noah isn’t down for complicated, he isn’t down for something as messy as love. He simply wants to enjoy things and be carefree. 

Because Noah would rather let himself be destroyed by what he has grown up with, (“And the TVs try to r*pe us and I guess they’re succeeding.”) than actually experience things for himself, actually experience love for himself. Noah would rather have his past and all of his bad experiences take advantage of his mind than open himself up to the possibility that it could be any different. We see this when one single call from his father destroys something Noah was very happily and passionately working on. And no matter how many times Colin confesses his feelings to Noah and tells him about love, Noah ignores it. He thinks it’s a done deal, a finished topic after having been addressed once already. (“Now we’re going to these meetings, but we’re not doin’ any meetin’.”) 

But Colin sees through Noah, at least a little bit. No matter how much Noah pretends he doesn’t like Colin and he doesn’t want love, Colin has seen the way Noah looks at him. No matter how many times Noah tries to stick to his cold rude attitude, Colin knows him, knows about Freddie and the passion Noah has for making movies. Colin knows that this rude heartless boy isn’t all Noah is. (“And we’re trying to be faithful, but we’re cheatin’, cheatin’, cheatin’.”)

While Colin accuses him of running from his past, Noah fights back because he doesn’t need Colin, he doesn’t want Colin and he, least of all, wants his love. (“I’m the hero of the story, don’t need to be saved.”) So what does it matter to Noah if Colin leaves? What would change? Noah is fine without Colin, can function without him and definitely doesn’t need Colin to fix whatever he thinks might be broken inside him. It’s whatever. He doesn’t need Colin to love him. 

But then, we’re back at the start and Noah realizes that despite everything, he never saw it coming that Colin would leave and that Colin leaving would make him realize that maybe, after everything, he wanted Colin to love him and he wanted Colin to save him. Because, as Noah had said, many times before, Colin was the best part.

But, Noah supposes, no one can have it all. 

conclusion: wow these boys are really sad!

Couldn’t have written this without having found this analysis of the song first.

I only reapplied as much as I could to Nolin and why the SE Team could have possibly picked this exact song as the Nolin goodbye song. 

[k-tarotz]

May I ask how honest are your paid readings? From my experiences with tarot readers, I've had a few where they will tell me things that were too good to be true, and then there would be other readers who would say the complete opposite, and they would be about the same topic. For example, one may say, "Yes, you two are compatible. Meant to be with each other. " While another would say,"No, you two aren't compatible because one person is inferior to another, so this relationship will not last." I understand tarot readings are NOT to be taken literally and with a grain of salt, but the vast difference between readers is so interesting to me. Like it makes me think that when I receive a "good" reading, the reader is sugar coating some things to make it sound good while the other reader is like "alright, here's the deal." I would love to hear your thoughts on why there is such a difference in readings.

Hey! We are always honest in our readings, regardless of the nature of it. If the reading is positive we will tell it, if it’s negative we will tell it. If a connection is platonic, romantic or sexual by nature we will tell it. Though, we will never be explicit with sexual bits unless our costumers say they are comfortable with it or if it’s an 18+ reading.

You might get different results for many reasons such as your person’s energy and mindset being different at the time of the readings, or different way of understanding ones own intuition. Due to the last one being an issue we always discuss how we view the cards read together with each other before writing something down.

For all you know, some of the people who give too negative readings and try to come off as straightforward could possibly be making things look worse than they actually are - either because they themselves are interested in the same person (especially if it's about any kind of idol/celebrity) or because some can't see the good in the bad, usually most negative cards can still have some positive meaning to it - especially so if there are neutral or positive cards around the negative ones.

Note, we also keep a neutral mind during reading hence why we are able to highlight both negatives or positives. Some people might have a harder time with this, but regardless of that it’s disrespectful to compare readers to one another. There’s many factors that go into a reading, assuming people sugarcoat things just because of your reading being postivie is not exactly a correct thing to do. It’s the same as assuming every negative reading is lying to you.

– Hun & Candy

[danganronpafan777]

Would it be possible for you to do the SDRA2 girls with a reader who has trauma that is triggered by a certain word/phrase in a way that is similar to Kotoko Utsugi from UDG?

Alright, I’m putting this under the cut for the sensitive topic. I tried my best and I hope I didn’t offend anyone. 

Emma Magorobi:

She knows how you feel completely and understands if you don't want to talk about it

The first time she sees you get triggered, it's almost enough to make her triggered herself, seeing you scream and cry made her feel emotions that she never wanted to feel again 

She'll confide in you about her own trauma, assuring you that you are not alone, even showing you her arms if you had been dating long enough 

She's careful to avoid your triggers just as much as you avoid hers 

The two of you create your own methods to calm each other down, and always remind each other that you are there 

Emma is glad to have a partner that can relate to her, but it breaks her heart knowing what people had done to someone as kind as you

After any trigger or panic attack, the two of you take the next day off work and spend it in each others arms 

Hibiki Otonokoji:

She's very confused the first time it happens, and gets you away, before asking what happened

If you're not prepared to tell her, Kanade will probably inform her for you 

Hibiki immediately feels terrible, especially if it was her who said the word or phrase

If it happens again, she'll yell at whoever said it, even if they don't know what they did, and then quickly bring you to a quiet area

She isn't very experienced in comforting people, so she usually sings to you or takes you through breathing exercises and head pats she learned from Setsuka

She won't hesitate to completely remove anything that reminds you of your trauma, and tries to keep some of your comfort foods at hand

She's willing to cancel concerts or tell fans to leave if anything happens to you, and no matter what, she'll always be by your side

Kanade Otonokoji:

Kanade knows what's happening immediately 

She doesn't hesitate for a second, gently tugging you to somewhere quiet and trying to calm you down

She's a master at comfort thanks to countless experiences with Hibiki

She'll play you songs, sing to you, make conservation, even just hold you for a while

She picks up on whatever the trigger was real quick, and is careful to avoid it

She won't force you to tell her what happened, but if you do, she'll tell you how much she loves you, before sneaking out and making whoever traumatized you pay

Like Hibiki, she's more than willing to cancel concerts and yell at fans to leave you alone

She makes sure that she is always prepared in case you get triggered, and is quick to sense if you so much as feel uneasy

Kanade is always here to help you

Setsuka Chiebukuro:

No matter what, Setsuka is always there for you!

She understands what's happening the moment your breathing becomes irregular

She'll pull you away from wherever you are and will hold and headpat you until you calm down

She'll always lend an ear if you want to talk about it, but she would never force it

With her skills to dig up information, there's a chance she'll already figure it out herself, but she wouldn't tell you 

Even if you don't tell her your triggers, Setsuka is quick to figure it out and making sure you avoid them 

Whenever you guys are in a crowded space, she always tries to remember the route to the quietest area she could take you in case something happens 

She does excessive research on different ways to comfort you and take your mind off things during a breakdown, with more head pats and breathing exercises 

Setsuka is more than just your big sis, and she'll do anything in her power to protect you from whatever and whoever hurt you like this

Kokoro Mitsume: She easily recognizes the signs, and probably figures out the trigger before it even happens 

Her talent is helping people with trauma, but you're special to her, and while she acts distant, she makes sure you know that 

She'll wait as long as you need, and would let you talk to her anytime about what happened

Until then, she'll keep you away from all possible triggers, and do her best to comfort you 

Sora: She is extremely worried the first time you're triggered, and immediately tells everyone to give you some space 

She's quick to deduce what happened, so she'll bring you to a private place and comfort you 

She tells you that you can always talk to her and that she'll be there for you no matter what 

Sora will not hesitate to find the people that did this to you and make them pay 

Over time, She’ll figure out the best ways to comfort you and help you get past your trauma, and no matter what happens, she’ll be with you all the way

Yoruko Kabuya:

Is completely thrown off guard the first time you’re thrown into a breakdown

She’ll briefly freak out alongside you, before snapping out of it and bringing you somewhere private 

She’ll keep asking if you are okay and do her best to comfort you 

She’s usually hesitant in showing affection outside of your house, but you need it more than ever

She held you and told you how much you meant to her, and how everything would be okay

She won’t bring up what happened again, but it will keep her awake at night for a while

You’re going to have to make the choice to talk to her about your trauma yourself, to which she’ll embrace you with open (and blushy-) arms 

She’ll take legal action against the people that hurt you, and will avoid your triggers at all costs

Iroha Nijue:

She's extremely scared and confused the first time that you are triggered

She starts crying at you crying and begs you to calm down

Someone else eventually has to intervene to comfort you both

She has a bit of experience with triggers because of Emma, but she's not very good at comforting others 

She tries her best to memorize your triggers and keep you away from them, and to show you some of her relaxing drawings and sketches of the two of you to help calm you down 

She'll open up to you about her own trauma, and will promise to be there whenever you find yourself breaking down 

She'll introduce you to different ways to cope with the trauma and will try to research other ways to comfort you in case you get triggered again

She may not be the brightest, but she loves you and wants to keep you safe

[starsscarmyceiling]

have you finished battle scars? 😐

Oh damn nonnie. I mean sit the fuck down and get comfortable because I have a lot of feelings on this. Please keep in mind that these are my opinions and takes. I am not looking to fight or argue. If your experience differs from mine and you have different opinions, you are still totally valid.

Alright my babies, let's get into it...

It’s difficult. I feel like I—well, have a lot of feelings, like I said. And upon further contemplation the more time passes (which I know it’s only been out for like a week and a half, but still), the more aspects of it tend to confuse and baffle me.

Because yes, am I happy there was a Merrical implied ending? I mean, of course. What kind of Merrical shipper would I be if I wasn’t? I guess my main frustrations therein lie with the overall story that was told. Because first of all, I thought the story was kind of weak. But Merrin having her moment and being able to process her trauma? Yes. The Mantis, attempting and sorting out the internal issues amongst them? Yes. Cal, attempting to challenge his beliefs of everything he has been taught within the context of this new galaxy? Yes. Merrin and Cal ultimately choosing to stay with each other because they want to? YES.

I understand why Merrin did what she did throughout the book. She was still in a cycle of heavy depression, and there was a vicious cycle of her not having any source to fill herself back up because one, she never had the opportunity to process her trauma (apparently), and two, nor was there an environment that was actively being fostered for her to do so. The Jedi are known of course, to be in line with that toxic positivity, but what frustrated me was all of the juicy potential that we could have had.

What actually bothered me about her so called “development” is that it happened off screen. It was all like, well just take our word, she is like finding all of these things out over here we promise. Because the whole time she was doing this, it was completely dependent on another character that was not Cal, just some random bitch we don’t care about, instead of coming to these things on her own or with someone she has an actual bond with. The way in which these things came about pissed me off so much because she could have had these moments with Cal, whom apparently she had this amazing developed relationship with, of which we never got to actually see. They went back and forth saying the Mantis crew wasn’t touchy feely, but then talked about how her and Cal had all these long, meaningful conversations…so like…what the fuck were these conversations actually about? They never talked about themselves or their traumas at all???? Merrin literally thinks at one point, up until she met Fret, Cal was the only person she felt like she could share things about herself with…but the way in which this was written really doesn’t make me believe that at all. It was just cheaply done like, lol, well just again trust us that these two people have developed relationship here in the interim. It was like, so unsatisfying to read. At no point did they actually show how and why her and Cal grew to care about one another other than us being told they were. That is what I am truly pressed about.

Also, I truly am not a fan of how Cal’s characterization was handled. I feel like he was just written like he was like seven years old or something. Cal can be awkward and aloof, sure…but I feel like this was just taken too far. Not only did he get cucked (in his own fucking BED; idc I will never get over that), but he also got reduced to a seven year old boy that didn’t have nearly as much depth as he could have had. I liked him questioning his ideology, but I felt like these topics were brought up and not really resolved. When I write Cal, I feel like all of the potential lies in using what has already been given to us. I see Cal as someone who is well versed at understanding people’s emotions, an empath, compassionate, protective, and obviously having such a big heart, especially for those he cares about and loves. And is this because of his psychometry? Or just how he is naturally, who knows it could be a combination of both. Think about it, this is a person that has been experiencing what could be complex adult emotions his whole life. And you’re telling me that he’s still that oblivious? Hmm, I don’t think. And wtf he doesn’t feel that many echoes? Mf was going around that whole game feelings those all the fucking time.

If I could quote a frond, @wayfaringjedi, this was a pretty hot take:

“How much stronger would it have been for Cal to confront that he has to allow her to feel anger to heal, and that anger is a useful emotion

How much stronger would it have been for Merrin to realise that safety exists, that she will not be rejected for being herself or being difficult or being angry, that she has her place

How could it have been for Cal to realise that he had made Merrin feel that he was not a safe person to disclose this to? How would that have challenged his ideology?

Or for Merrin to realise her refusal to try to access peace like Cal does is what alienates her from others?”

And honestly, couldn’t have said it better myself. Like, do you know how many amazing fics I've read out there, where it's Merrin and Cal, getting to have these moments in the engine room? Where it's them having pillow talk and growing closer? God this whole thing really felt like a slap in the face I was not prepared for.

These characters weren’t really handled with care. I didn’t hate the whole book, but I just feel like it just could have been better. I am veryyyyy much interested in what’s going to happen in Survivor, I mean we all are, obviously. I was taking comfort in Merrin saying they were probably never going to see Fret again. I really don’t understand why Fret was there. There is a way to create situations and tension and conflict and making important realizations between them without inserting some random purple bitch. Because istfg, if at some point in Survivor, we have to go like pick up Merrin and she is with Fret, I am going to throw my PS5 out the window and scream and rage in the streets. (Respawnnnnn, I know where you live do not TEST me). I am obviously hoping for canon Merrical, which I do think is a distinct possibility. Because if we don’t, then what the fuck was all of that for?

I feel like BS (heh, aptly named) has suffered the TROS problem of not being able to satisfy anyone lol. Okay because who the FUCK is this book for dude?

Because it’s obviously pissed off all the Merricals. We would have never wanted this.

And it doesn’t really satisfy those who don’t ship either because there is so much Merrical subtext.

But, I mean, I do have to say this book did make me grow to love Greez even more. He was 👑💩 the whole fucking time. Throwing shade at Fret throughout, I was living for it. When he went off on Fret after he woke up from getting his arm cut off, I was fucking eating my popcorn like pop offfff. And I cannot emphasize enough how much I loved Cal in his petty jealous area. Obsessed. He deserves it completely like also go off 👑. Him and Greez were my only bright spots throughout this experience. So glad he got to have his moment too when he "I KNOW HOW IT FEELS!" God I love it. We should all just listen to Greez at all times, like yes please let us drop that Fret bitch off on Batuu with a fruit cake bing bang boom.

I also did enjoy the moments between Cere and Cal together really trying to navigate what it means to be a Jedi in this galaxy in this so entirely dangerous climate for them. Glad Cere is embracing her as a Jedi and using the force again. Totally got the foreshadowing of her being in some kind of archives that we saw in the trailer, preserving the ways of the Jedi. Very fitting for her.

And yesss, there were a few cute moments. Those first two chapters were LIT I gotta say. Like TOGETHER THEY WERE THE LIGHT AND THE DARK CAL WAS THE STAR THAT ILLUMINATED HER SHADOW, that did murder me. And the fucking wound cleaning scene, omfg. I know that murdered ALL of us. Jfc.

I also feel like it would have been a lot more interesting for Fret to just be there to betray them. It would have taught Merrin a lesson of not just diving into something with someone that is entirely based on lust. The fact that she got a redemption was idk…just boring to me I guess. And I know I am biased because I don’t like her, but I mean come on I am a feral fucking Merrical over here is anyone surprised???

Okay lol, have I complained enough? Haha I am guessing you knew what you were getting into anon when you came to my ask box. Lol everyone knows I can never stfu. Anyway, hope that satisfied you.

And hm should you guys be looking out on the horizon for something? Well let’s just say I am definitely using all of these feelings that I have and am putting them somewhere 💅🏻

Anyway, I hope all the Merricals out there are having a great day. Meet me at Applebees and we can cry together 💕💕💕

[purplerose244]

Lessons learned

Hello hello! Here’s to participate to the @ninjago-valentine-exchange! Thank you so much for hosting the event again, it was really fun working on it! 😍

My fic is based on Bruise, Cole/Jay Pair A

It’s an exchange to @destinymanticor’s amazing bruise fanart! I absolutely love it, tired Jay is just so adorable with all of those curls, and it’s also an excuse to throw in some cute couple moments! 💙🖤💙🖤

Hope you like it! Enjoy! 😚

Read it on the AO3

Summary: Years since the black ninja had first encountered the shocking experience that was Jay Walker. Months since the master of earth had his best friend made him the happiest by confessing his feelings. Days since the latest evil threatening Ninjago had been defeated by them all.

Still so much to learn.

Cole wouldn't have it any other way.

Being the official heavy lifter of the team and the master of earth itself, many people were probably quick to judge him as interested solely to physical work. Cole could say that they wouldn’t be totally wrong considering his strength, his climbing skills, his physic, and his dancing abilities – unironically the hardest to obtain of the bunch –, but he could also argue that despite all the workout, something he really liked to do was learning. Maybe he wasn’t as smart as Zane or as witty as Nya, but whenever he was put in front of something new it was inevitable for him to grow fond of the studying process. He had learned how to draw, he had gone to lots of museum, he wasn’t picky over what to explore in the slightest.

Especially when it was sudden, unexpected. Challenging.

Like months ago, when Jay had come to his room to blabber in his very own Jay way, talking for a full five minutes almost without breathing, solely to ask him out on a date. Something new, something unknown. Something inherently beautiful.

Cole was always quick to jump over a book the moment a specific topic caught his interest, to the point of knocking down the whole shelf. That time, he had compromised with sweeping the blue ninja off his feet and hugging him, unleashing that suppressed feeling he had feared would had accompanied him for the rest of his life without mutuality. With the way Jay had gasped so sweetly, laughing breathlessly against his chest, that had been a silly overthought of his and his new boyfriend was going to do his best erasing it from that moment forward.

It was another world to explore. More complex and exciting that he could had ever imagined.

They had known each other for years now, yet perhaps the most exciting part of it all… was getting to know Jay from another point of view.

 Lesson number one.

Jay was an absolute bundle of energy.

It was just another day in Ninjago, which obviously meant that the latest enemies of the whole nation had been defeated and most of the ninja’s daily work lately had revolved around helping the population rebuild the city… again – how many New in front of Ninjago City were there now, it was hard to say. This particular night though, it was a break for them all.

You could say a lot of things about Ninjago. It was big, it was dangerous, it had the lowest prizes for its main city in regards of renting and buying houses, and had the worst luck even seen in all of sixteen realms – fifteen… fourteen, alright the whole ordeal of the different dimensions was still a bit confusing in his head. But one thing for sure, the people here could throw a party. Only a couple of days of work and as soon as the main hall of the theatre had been rebuilt, all had been organized to contain as many decorations, dancers, exhibitions and food as humanly – and inhumanly, too many unusual creatures hanging around at this point – possible.

Kai was a party animal and an attention seeker, so of course he was into it. Lloyd was always getting kidnapped by massive figures of Ninjago to get some very well-deserved thanks. Zane actually kind of loved these kinds of situations, showing off his best of his funny switch – which at this point was simply a Zane switch. Nya always made time for the little fans that would always tail her during the celebrations. Pixal was looking after them all with a satisfied smile.

On the other hand, the black ninja wasn’t too keen on these situations. Perhaps it was a bit of misconception from when he used to be a dancer and all those massive and obnoxious celebrations, but despite this he had always made the effort to be present at least for a while.

The blue ninja, on the other hand… were there words good enough to describe such a sparkle?

“Hey gloomy, that’s not how you blend in into a party! You know you’re really hard to ignore, right?” It wasn’t common for them to dress fancy, so it was a bit appalling seeing Jay rocking his brownish suit – yes they could all wear other colours besides their signature ones, shocker. “Leaning on the side-lines, not talking to anyone while still being impossible handsome, are you even allowed to exist?” There was a tiny possibility that he drunk a bit, mostly given that droopy look he was giving him.

Cole wasn’t sure if it was because of them dating, or this guy had always been absolutely adorable and this was simply paying a closer attention. He put the glass he had been uninterestingly holding the whole night onto the table and stepped forward.

“Is this you trying to flirt with me, Zaptrap?”

“No, this is me working my way up to ask you to dance, Dirtclod!” Jay snickered – alright yes he definitely had some wine –, offering his hand but not completely able to keep it open. “I’m glad I refused the last glass they offered me, I’m pretty sure I would’ve forgotten if I asked you out or not already. Not like it matters, I can make a full of myself and you’ll still find me cute!” Oh this little devious lightning. He was such a jester and a huge dork, so sometimes it was hard to remember how much brain was hidden under that ginger head.

The black ninja grabbed his hand.

“None taken, but it wouldn’t hurt for you to be elegant about it.” The master of earth snickered. “Besides, for all the times you embarrassed yourself, I should be desensitized by now.”

“Rude!”

“Am I wrong?”

“I’m asking you to the dance floor, be happy about it!”

“Am I wrong, though?”

“No you aren’t now get your butt into action!” Hard to say if Jay shouted that one line specifically to get a couple of weirded out eyes directed towards him or he was still in a bit of a bliss. He was at least lucid enough to lead him towards the centre of the room. “Finally! I’ve been dreaming of this moment for a while now, even your snarky remarks will not stop me!”

Cole blinked, letting him take the lead of the dance as too busy acknowledging what his messy guy had just told him.

“You wanted to dance with me that badly?”

“You’re so unaware of how charming you are it’s infuriating, it makes me nervous even now! Why do you think I got a bit funky with the drinks?” Oh. Oh. “Had to tone it down a notch before I exploded, you know how I am.” To think that he would – or perhaps the best word was could – purposely unable himself, solely because of a couple of butterflies in the stomach. He truly was quite the resourceful guy, in a very amusing way.

You know who I am, he said. The black ninja did and didn’t. He always did, yet lately he didn’t. It was a marvellous paradox that made him smile, wrapping his arms around the engineer’s waist.

“I guess so. Interesting, my looks are intimidating then.”

“Focus on the music, Cole.”

“I just hope me wearing a tux isn’t too much for your little heart.”

“DON’T MAKE ME REGRET THIS, COLE.”

It was a bit of a wonder how there was a time Cole absolutely despised being a dancer and everything that the discipline included. He could very well give the blame to how little he was communicating with his father, the bad experiences he had at school, his own insecurities. It had been a while now and honestly, it felt like a whole other world altogether. Maybe it was because he had matured. Maybe it was because he liked his partner a whole lot more.

 Lesson number two.

Jay was a pretty busy person.

Partying was great obviously, and Cole was never going to be a hypocrite by saying that helping the city being rebuilt the day after was better than stuffing his face with celebratory cake – yes, he liked saving the world for that reason too, it was a very good reason –, but there was definitely something about embracing the peace they had fought so hard for and work on dealing with the aftermath. It was disappointing in some ways yet uplifting in others, besides citizens of Ninjago were almost too good at fixing at this point, they almost barely needed them all. Then again having someone able to weld with fire alone and another power up a generator with a snap was better than not having them.

And while it was a bit of a prideful thing through them all to fight over who was the strongest, Cole knew that at the end of the day his guns were the most fitted to do the heavy work. Therefore, after some time that day, he had been left on his own to deal with the last granitic pieces, feeling every muscle turned into mush but still active over the pleasurable thrill of having done something good.

One of the citizens had brought water for the bulding team, him included, so he could take a break. He couldn’t keep going relentlessly – well, he could, but he didn’t want to. It was nice but also weird being the only ninja here, perhaps he was too used moving as a flock with the team.

Right as that thought caught him, his mask started to vibrate. The new communicators were still a work in progresses, but so far, they had not exploded – well done Pix.

He wore the mask and answered.

“Hello?”

“-No no no, you have to use the codename! You chose one, right? Over.-”

This dork. Cole felt all of his tiredness evaporate.

“Ahem. Rocky speaking, over.”

“-Rocky? Really? Over.-”

“It’s simple and immediate, what do you want from me?”

“-For you to have a bit of imagination, and also to use proper walkie talkie language!-” This guy could be the laziest of them all during their vacation days and non, but honestly very few people he knew committed this hard when something truly interested them – or was absurdly silly. “-Ahh, your lack of enthusiasm is making me lose too much time! Rocky, this is Bluejay-flying-in-the-night,-” Dang it, Cole adored this absolute idiot. “-Sensei Wu, I mean the Beardinator, asked me to call everyone and making sure you’re not falling behind with work for today! Over.-”

Cole frowned a little. Jay sounded absolutely charged as usual, but the kind of blabber was almost screamed at this point. He knew the guy enough to recognize when he was hyperfixating over something, or he was overworking himself.

“Well, everything’s good on my side, but I’ll probably be back after dinner… say, are you okay? You sound a bit hysteric, and that’s a lot coming from you.”

“-Okay so on your front everything’s good, same with Nya and Zane, I’ll check Kai next.-”

“Jay?”

“-… sorry, I know you asked me something, but I completely spaced out on you. What is it that you need from me?-” Okay, this confirmed it. “-Whatever it is it will have to wait until tomorrow, Nya and Pixal need help to repair our latest mechs and vehicles, Zane wants me to supervise his check-up since you never know, Kai and Lloyd wanted a sparring partner for the training regime and I got to finish the blueprints for the new security system of our place.-” Wow. Just, wow. It was in equal parts worrying and impressive. Life was easier with such a bright mind around and a reminder was always welcomed. “-… I’d love to make time for you, though… over.-”

The black ninja managed to take off the mask before he let out that embarrassed squeak, because how dare he distract him with how much work he was doing and how dare he take advantage of it by dropping such a cute line.

The main battle for the sake of the world was over. All they needed to do was get through the recovering, and possibly getting some time to enjoy together.

Cole inhaled happily.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get our moment. Focus on what you need to do, but don’t overwork yourself.”

“-Roger that, Rock-hard-muscles.-”

“…”

“-Too much?-”

“I’ll have to close the call, that was too charming and I might faint… over and out.”

What more to ask for this idiot to cheer in delight for finally getting him to use proper walkie talkie slang, putting an end to the conversation with a huge smile on his face? It was ordinary business, but it was different too, this time there was more to look forward to at the end of the tunnel. It was the first time for the both of them. Possibly not going to be the least.

 Lesson number three.

Jay was very light.

There was always a bit of satisfaction in knowing that there was a time to be yet being able to finish earlier. Cole felt like he could go on a bit of a pride parade and mention how he didn’t know his own strength and it kept surprising him all the time – unironically his fans liked to hear that more than him, he didn’t know who was cringier between them and himself –, although this pleasant feeling from being on time likely came from his earliest moments at the monastery training as a ninja, therefore the very beginning of his strong earth power. He liked to keep the time more than how he used to during those ballet years, which was kind of ironic, so when he got back home he had a plastic bag in his hand from groceries and a grin on the top of his lips.

Likely the rest of the team already had their dinner and he himself had provided through the closest supermarket, along with a few over things he was carrying right now – no of course he didn’t by himself a whole cake to devour later, who was he an animal. He could hear the living room animated, a familiar soundtrack coming from Fist to Face 2 and what seemed to be Kai’s perfectly calibrated anguished scream from losing – likely against Lloyd, the poor hothead.

He went to the kitchen to put down his small groceries and join the fun, when he saw the blue ninja in precarious equilibrium onto a chair while getting to the highest shelf. This wasn’t the weirdest he had ever seen in his life – like, not even close –, but he did have a bit of a gasp.

“Jay?!”

“What?” Somehow this guy had the nerve to turn around with a frown on his face, right as the change of position destabilized the whole balance on the chair – it was a flipping stool what was wrong with this guy. “Oh hey Cole, what are you-” Amazing his comedic timing, so perfect Cole barely had a fright when his boyfriend lost it and capitulated, right into his awaiting shaking arms – alright perhaps there was a bit of cold sweat, only a bit!

The chair fell down, the cookie jar that had apparently been the reason behind this recklessness were splattered all over the ground, and Kai groaned again from the other room – unrelated to this and likely because of Lloyd’s superior gaming skills again.

The black ninja was left a bit speechless between the rush, the anger, and the relief. Yet most of all, what remained was the feeling of having the blue ninja picked up. Oh. Huh.

“What in the world, Jay.”

The master of lightning looked at him, smirked, and Cole felt the migraine before it hit.

“Well I guess I-”

“No.”

“But I very clearly-”

“Don’t you dare!”

“I obviously fell for you!” Fury, betrayal, disappointment, despair, and Cole wished it wasn’t such a Jay thing to say, which was inevitably another reason to swoon for him. “Come on, it’s a classic! It was the perfect situation too, I wouldn’t hated myself for not taking the chance! Thanks for the help by the way, I guess I wasn’t paying too much attention to land on my feet.” A fair comment actually, they were all perfectly trained to handle falling, even from such a small height. It made the master of earth wonder if there was something going on. “Good thing you got that core strength of yours, I doubt the others would’ve been luckier!”

Ah, a chance for revenge. Cole grinned. This guy didn’t listen to him and came up with the cheesiest and most embarrassing of all puns? There was only one way to retaliate, one that could be developed only when living between three, then four, then five/six/seven other people all in the same place: teasing.

After all, he had just made another discovery. He really wanted to marvel over it out loud.

“Nah, I don’t think it would’ve been a problem.” Jay raised an eyebrow, Cole smirked. “Dude, you’re lighter than a feather, pretty sure kid Lloyd would’ve been able to catch you.”

What a wonder seeing a blush on him. He wasn’t that mean to teasing that detail as well, but he wanted to gaze at it as long as it lasted. It was weird in a way, it wasn’t like the black ninja was completely unaware of relatively light Jay was. The blue ninja had always been more focused on speed and agility, he was the only one of them that had a childhood without physical training – well technically Zane and Pixal too but you know, Zane and Pixal –, and there was simply a difference of built. It was perhaps this newfound need to find out more about him, that made it so incredible to rediscover this right in this moment, at this time of their relationship.

Jay was pouting, arms folded despite making no attempt at getting free. He liked to be pampered after all, not even his pride could take that away from him.

“I’m a strong ninja, I trained with a martial art master.”

“Yes you did, Zaptrap.”

“I have muscles! They’re just different kinds! It’s not my fault you all are buff in comparison!”

“No it isn’t, Zaptrap.” Cole kissed him on the forehead, that immediately relaxed. It felt like there was more tension though, beyond this silly circumstance. “How about you try fixing your hurt pride through a massive videogaming session?”

“Uh? But I got work to do…” More work? They had all finish their daily routine of helping around the city, what more was there to do? Thinking about now it was suspicious how he was here and not in the living room already. “… uhm, but maybe it can wait until tomorrow! Totally!” Hard to tell if he changed his mind or he noticed how weird it sounded. He simply pointed forward. “Onward, my dearest! Towards the arena, where I will take my victory!”

It was really hard focusing on worrying stuff with him being so adorably him.

Yet Cole was a very meticulous person and again, he liked researching. This moment was fixed in his head. He was going to give him a couple of turns of gaming though. Just this once.

“Alright! Hey everyone, I brought you a bag of grapes!”

“A bag of wha- oh you mean Jay.”

“I’M NOT THAT LIGHT YOU GUYS!”

 Lesson number four.

Jay was a glutton like him.

A premise had to be made that the blue ninja was the only one Cole harboured any kind of romantic feelings. Lloyd was his little brother, Kai was his middle brother, Nya was his sister – his mind refused to acknowledge the triangle fiasco, it was too cringe to compute –, in short they were his family. With that being said, it was really hard to keep his feelings down towards his favourite nindroid after seeing the huge piece of chocolate cake he left for him in the fridge, with the note ‘To my partypooper brother, great work today. Zane’.

Honestly, honestly, that gorgeous piece of metal only deserved love and Cole wasn’t going to be the one to deny him this right. Also, that totally meant he was his favourite brother, so he got to be a little giddy – he totally didn’t see the six other lunch boxes besides his, not at all.

Most of the others were either in bed or preparing for the night and he should have too, but he was feeling a bit too good to drown it all in slumber. He felt like being conscious for a bit more.

He sat on the table, slice on the table, and with the outmost care he took a big forkful of it.

“Oh I love you Zane!” There was honestly no other feeling like that. The moist cake, the creamy interior, the whole experience was simply magical and somehow worth all the migraine going through the most recent villain. “I gotta buy him a present…” His first thought was another pink apron and while it sounded like a fantastic idea, he wasn’t one hundred percent sure if Zane would have still not realized how silly it was going to look.

It was nostalgic though. Today Cole was feeling really, really good.

He was about to take another bite, when he felt steps behind him. It wasn’t even about being a ninja, he had simply lived with these people for so long that he knew them without looking. Perhaps letting his guard down only because it was Jay was a bad move, but despite the sudden hug from behind he definitely didn’t regret letting the attack happen.

Especially for the following kiss on the cheek. Maybe Cole was really easy to please but that made his heart flutter a bit, while Jay simply licked his lips.

“What? You have some chocolate over there!”

After one single bite. Right. Either the black ninja was a massively messy eater – not to be excluded but still –, or the blue one was playing around. The black ninja was much more into the second option, as he grinned all the way up to his cheeks.

“And you cleaned it up for me? Are you my personal maid or something?”

“Well not to confirm that, but I did look great in a blonde wig that one time I was pretending to be a victim!” Wow, that was a massive throwback to the whole mysterious Samurai X saga – Nya still hadn’t let them live it down. “You looked way too vulnerable while enjoying your thing, I just couldn’t resist. Especially after hearing you being so vocal about your love for the local nindroid…” Ah, he heard it. That pout looked a bit too forced to be actually jealous, though. “If I’d known all I needed was a cake to get your heart, I would have given a career in bakery a shot!” And now he was crossing his arms. Drama queen, thy name Jay Walker.

Cole rolled his eyes, getting another bite of the chocolaty heaven in front of him, while never taking his eyes off the ginger beauty in the room.

“Isn’t it even more meaningful? How despite not hiding a roll of cookie dough in your pocket, you still got a date out of me?” He winked at him, Jay snorted with his cheeks a bit red. “Besides, look at what Zane prepared for you in the fridge and tell me you don’t adore him.”

“He made stuff for me too?… OH MY GOSH I LOVE YOU ZANE!” Yep, no one was above the kind of awe coming from having fresh treats from the fridge – quite ironic thinking of that time Zane was standing right inside of it. “It’s a bitter orange pudding too! The ones that got discontinued! Oh, this is exactly what I needed!” Followed the scene of a grown young adult squishing his face against a small container of pudding in absolute delight.

So cute, so cute, so cute. Cole sighed dramatically.

“Hopefully one day you’ll love me as much as you love puddings.”

“Oh that’s rich!” Jay kept the little pudding in contact, holding it like it was his child while giving him a glare. “But please do tell, who would you save from a sinking ship, me or a cake?”

Now he was forcing the pout a lot.

The black ninja couldn’t help it. He pretended to think.

“I mean… you can fly and summon dragons, you would save yourself.”

“Cole!”

“I mean, the cake is basically an innocent to save…”

“Cole!!” His offended glance made him burst into laughter. The blue ninja dropped on the chair right in front of him, full frown in sight – with one spoon in his hand, the little impatient. “Well maybe I’ll save my pudding too instead of you! But since you’re all heavy with muscle and mountain powers you’ll sink, how about that??” He started a bit of an evil laugh then shut himself up with a spoonful of pudding, which immediately turned her frown upside down. “I want to eradicate all that is evil in the universe so Zane can retire and open a restaurant.”

“Seconded.” There was still a bit of a frown in him though, Cole couldn’t stop smiling. He looked at his cake, took a forkful, then extended it towards him. Jay genuinely gasped. “Here’s the thing, if I save the cake and you save yourself, then we can share it.”

The master of lightning blinked. Then he smiled and took the bit, humming in delight.

“Alright, you sold me to it. Not a bad idea.”

“Care to reciprocate?”

“You num num. Here.” Jay grinned and offered a spoonful of his pudding. It tasted lightly bitter and acidic, yet immensely sweet. Annoying but lovely, how ironic. “Cake is good but the pudding is more my thing. You keep yours.” He took the fork and fed him more cake. Now Cole really felt like in heaven. “You got a little something again.” Another kiss on the cheek. Double heaven.

 Lesson number 5.

Jay was… a stressed person.

Cole knew something was up. It wasn’t even about their recently developed relationship, although he was pretty sure that uneasiness in his chest had become much more intense because of it. Once again, they knew each other, and no matter what was going to happen the two of them had started as best friends. Maybe the way they were going was different, but the goal of the whole path wasn’t diverse: they still had each other’s backs.

His sleeping schedule was pretty impeccable. Between being a dancer, a climber and a ninja, there had never been much time to waste. And yes sleepovers and game marathons with the guys were a given, but so was getting plenty of rest after a major fight. All the rooms were closed for the night. Only one was empty.

The black ninja had been waiting for those quick and light steps for quite a while now, laying on his bed without his covers. At some point he felt that enough was enough.

He looked at his phone. 2:30 of the morning.

Definity an enough was enough moment.

The place was dead silent at night. It had taken a while to find a stable place to live in again given how often they had been forced to change place… or for that place to be destroyed. The most recent one had given them all the chance to have their own rooms, and even had one reserved for projects. Between Jay, Nya, Zane and Pixal, it was very much needed – a given for an engineer seemed to be working in chaos, which meant quadruple the mayhem. In exchange for so much space though, the walls were pretty much paper thin, and Cole could hear all of them sleeping: Zane’s absolute silence, Pixal’s light sounds of recharging, Nya’s soft snoring, Kai’s light mumbling and Lloyd’s sleep-talking. Only that adorable hum, even purr, was missing.

The engineers room was wide open, a soft white light was coming from it. Not enough to give food to his thoughts, but Cole did chuckle a bit at the thought of some sci-fi based moment, since Jay had been so adamant at making him watch the entirety of the Starfarer saga – “The first time was a three-way date, this time is you and me! I demand it to be special and with the least amount of sarcastic glanc- COLE!” –, as he approached the door.

There he was, the ball of ginger. The black ninja had seen him countless of times leaning onto the desk, his foot tapping and the protractor sliding so fast onto the blueprints it was louder than a pencil. The fact that the whole scene was almost dead silent was concerning already.

Cole took a breath and got inside.

“Jay?” He got an uninterested, braindead groan in response. “Jay, worktime is over, get off the chair.” A couple of quiet seconds made him think he hadn’t heard.

Then those shoulders shook a little. Ah, he listened.

“I’m not- I’ll eat later, I have to finish this.” Ah, he did not listen.

“It’s the middle of the night, babe.”

“I know I need to shower, I just need to get this done first…”

“You see, I don’t like when you ignore me or you’re too tired to hear, so how about I solve this the old fashion way?” He knew there wasn’t a single word going through to him. He was counting on it. So when without a single shame he grabbed him by the waist, pulled him up and over his shoulders, the strangled noise he got in return was even more satisfying. “You’ve been a very bad ninja and as you know, all bad ninja must be punished. In your case I’d say, sleep in for the time being and put whatever that was on hold.” Without another word he walked out of the room.

The blue ninja seemed to be ready to fight him off, but Cole’s perception must had been right about him being completely exhausted, because he gave up quickly. He opted for a full pout and folded arms, and as usual the unhappy kid act suited him. He leaned a bit to gave him a look, Cole could see him upside down, those curly ginger hair going everywhere.

“I don’t need a babysitter to tell me to go to sleep.”

“Are you sleeping? No. Therefore yes, you need it. Consider it a payback, I’m your nanny, you’re my maid.” Where was his mind going right now…

“I’m fine! There’s no need for this, I got so much stuff to do!” He squirmed a little, not enough clearly. Possibly only to be a nuisance. “The new security system needs to be up asap, the mechas are taking longer than expected, I need to ask dad for a compact converter giggly compressor…”

Memories of a pile of junk. Cole snickered.

“Yeah, no, I still think you’re making that stuff up. And we can go to your folks’ house anytime, no need to rush everything in one night. I know you’re tired.”

“Am not! I’m… not! I’m, like… not!” Not even the energy to go on a rant, it meant he really had zero juice left. Jay grumbled, wrapping his arms around his neck. “What about you, huh? You’re also awake at this hour, and you’re vital enough to pick me up! We have the same training regime, and don’t you dare tell me cute stuff like you were waiting for me and got worried because… because… I can and will smother you!” As a representation he clenched his hold, but it felt more like an embrace and he knew, because he groaned.

The black ninja laughed again. He turned to Jay’s room, as messy yet with a method as ever.

“Again, you weight as much as groceries, I barely need to think about it at all.” He got a light slap behind his neck for that one. “Now be a good boy and… sleep!” Without a warning he dropped the guy onto his bed, making him jump. “Tomorrow you’ll do the rest.”

Jay gave him a baffled look, then he glared again.

“I don’t have time for this, Cole.”

“And I told you you’re out of juice for the day, Jay.”

“I have loads of work left to do, Cole!”

“I’m not letting you faint on a compass, Jay!”

“I CAN KEEP IT UP, COLE!”

“WOULDN’T BE HARD GIVEN YOU’RE LIGHTER THAN A LIGHTER, JAY!”

“BOTH OF YOU! SHUT! UP!!” Oh yeah there we, like, seven other people living under their same roof, currently trying to sleep since it was unreasonably late. If they had managed to wake up Lloyd’s impressively deep sleep then they were shouting pretty loudly. “GO TO SLEEP OR I SWEAR I’LL BE THE NEXT VILLAIN YOU’RE ALL GONNA FACE, AND I KNOW ALL OF YOUR TICKLISH POINTS!” It would have been a weak threat wasn’t that guy some sort of natural tickler torturer able to genuinely knock them all out – if that tied up with being the son of the warlord that was Garmadon, that was to be discussed.

It was enough to make them both go quiet, but Cole wasn’t going to drop this solely because of the current time. Judging from his boyfriend’s still present glare he was ready to die on that hill as well, which was incredibly annoying – obstinacy, an inevitable consequence of ninja never quit. The fact that even like this he was showing some pretty swollen eyelids was ridiculous.

There had to be a way to distract him. And there was. The black ninja blinked, almost feeling stupid for not thinking immediately about it. He smiled.

“If you get under the cover, ready to sleep, I’ll bring you a pudding.”

Jay’s eyes immediately changed mood. There we go.

“Wha- I finished mine, you’re bluffing!”

“I bought one at the store, you know I like snacking. I’m willing to give it up if it means you’ll finally rest.” There was a moment of pondering, where it dawned to him how stupid this conversation was. Then the blue ninja finally relented and laid down. “Be right back.”

As soon as he got out of the room, he let out a sigh of relief, that seemed to remind his body how late it was and how tired he was. He had waited for so long fighting the urge to close his eyes, now his body was slowly shutting down and begging him to take it easy. Jay was high maintenance, he had known this from the very beginning way before getting together. Sometimes he really didn’t understand him, but perhaps that was just what made him… well, him.

He was so out of it he went into autopilot, and suddenly he was walking back with the cold vanilla pudding into his hand. With the hope that the master of lightning had fallen asleep in the meanwhile he got back inside, but obviously it was wishful thinking. He had his eyes wide opened.

… so much they looked tearful.

“Ah, thanks. You can put it on the nightstand.” He was hugging himself, looking at nothing, dark circles visible. “I’ll have it in a moment.” Hopefully he knew he wasn’t convincing in the slightest.

Cole felt a wince inside his heart. Without saying a word, he laid down next to him, making do to what space was left on a singular bed, and started caressing his back. It was very, very tense, it was a block of rock on itself. Under his fingers though it was slowly softening, and so naturally Jay leaned against him, his shoulders touching his chest. The black ninja didn’t think twice embracing him, leaning his chin over the mess that his hair was right now. It smelled like rust and oil. Even after a thousand of showers, that was simply his natural scent.

His breathing was still but heavy, like he was gathering as much air as he could.

“What are you thinking about?”

“… it didn’t work.” It came almost as a sob, but it was more likely that the blue ninja was too tired even for that. “All of those defences, all of those vehicles, I put my hand to it to make them the best they could be. But they’re never enough, it’s so much harder every time and I… I don’t think I can keep up.” He trembled a little.

The master of earth kissed his temple, holding him closer.

“You did good. You and the others, with all of these amazing creations, it’s thanks to that that we win every single time.”

“But every single time, it’s always because of something else. At worst, all it’s destroyed!”

“Yet even after all that, we’re able to survive and being here, talking about it. It’s not by some miracle that we triumph Jay, it’s because of so many different things.” He went over his hair with a hand, fingers between those curls, feeling him breathing. “Our training, our values, our allies, our city, and yes, our weapons as well. And maybe those don’t make it to the very end, but they do make a difference. So don’t push yourself, keep working as you did before. You’re doing great.”

There was silence afterwards. Cole genuinely didn’t know if his boyfriend was way too stubborn to let this one go, if his prayers had been answered and he was finally asleep, or he was simply not responding and pondering over the whole discussion. He didn’t have to wait long, because next thing he knew the blue ninja was turning around, the softest smile of all onto his lips, as he held the black ninja’s face and kissed him. It was always baffling the way he held him, because it was so delicate, like the master of earth out of all people was to be treated with gentleness. It was such a care for him that it made him feel so fuzzy inside, as he kissed back.

Jay’s kisses were, of course, electric. Cole wondered if he knew that the first contact was a genuine little shock, like touching something lightly charged. It always made him smile, it always made him look for more. They were both so tired, yet their lips kept looking for each other in need.

It was like dreaming, a bit. He liked opening his eyes better though, because he was always slightly earlier than him, and he could watch him with closed eyes, bliss in his expression.

The blue ninja giggled, before opening his eyelids.

“How do you know what to say every time?”

“Trial and error, but mostly I like researching.”

“Research?”

“Yep. And you’re my latest favourite thing to explore.” Cole kissed him again, embracing him, hoping to erase all of the worries and the stress from this body, even taking them as his own. But the best way for that was still resting, so he pulled back and leaned their foreheads together. “I want you to be okay. So… sleep, please?” He didn’t have any other trick to pull for this.

Jay smiled and nodded, thankfully. He wrapped his arms around his neck, putting his head over his shoulder.

“Can you stay here for a bit?”

Cole grinned, adjusting his position so he wasn’t going to wake up with a massive backache next morning. Extending his arm out without moving his body he managed to grab the blanket and messily covered the both of them with it, making sure the boy right next to him was completely bundled up and comfy. Right in that moment he realized, with immense relief, that Jay had finally given up and was completely out. Any time now that natural propension to hug in his sleep was going to kick in, making it impossible for the black ninja to escape.

Not like he had any intention to. He simply let his eyes wonder over his boyfriend’s exhausted face, finally getting what he needed. Pride and softness filled him as he let himself go as well.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

 Lesson six.

Jay was absolutely lovely.

… and loved him more than the pudding abandoned on the nightstand, apparently.

[amirsirwrites]

Hi!! Love your writing style and Saw the dadspy and hey haha I just cut contact with my dad!!Completely unrelated can you please write some headcanons about medic being a good father figure to a teen (16+ so not a lil baby) training under him? Idk how sane this sounds as I am under influences but could you mix in some emotional vulnerability or like them hugging? Sorry for the weird request and thank you sm!!

Hi, anon! Yes, you can, dear. Thank you for the request and don't worry, it's not weird at all. I hope you're doing alright. :)

Dad!Medic with a young adult reader 💜

Requested

Dad!Medic and GN!Young adult!reader

------

You joined the mercenaries as medical support, mostly to help poor Medic who started to complain to Ms Pauling about the other mercs, saying, “Those dummkopfs can’t stay alive for even a few minutes!”

The original plan was for you to just operate the Medigun on the field and that was it but, of course, Medic had other plans for you.

When you two first met, you immediately started discussing about all kinds of medical stuff. You were fascinated by Medic’s accomplishments. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Even the most renowned doctors all over the world haven’t managed to accomplish half of what he has.

Given the fact that you shared his passion for medicine, thirst for knowledge, and were relatively new to the medical field, he took you in as his disciple straight away. 

He taught you all about his different inventions and theories. Medic was more interested in the end product than the process of how he got there so he left the science and whatnot for you to figure out. 

You two were the perfect duo. Medic did the crazy brainstorming and experimenting while you examined his impressive messes and made sense of it using the knowledge you got from your medical textbooks. 

Medic enjoyed your company a lot. Finally, someone who could understand him and his wild ideas. The two of you would often stay up late, talking about all kinds of things while sipping your drinks. 

Naturally, Medic eventually began to treat you like his own kid. And although that’s mostly a good thing, it can be a bit annoying, not just for you but also for the other mercs.

The thing about Medic is that he’s very protective of the people he cares about. And I mean really protective. 

If you’re out in battle and you get even just a scratch on your face, Medic will flip out. He’ll be scolding the other mercs for letting you get hurt while hugging you tightly.

He’s not just protective of you in battle. You can bet that he’ll be making sure you eat healthily and avoid unhealthy substances such as alcohol and cigarettes. 

Like I said earlier, when you hang out with him, you two mostly just chat while you eat or drink. You talk about a lot of different things together. Although the topic is usually medical-related, there are those times when you have a heart-to-heart discussion about each other’s lives and feelings. 

Medic shared memories of his childhood and family and so did you. You both feel comfortable talking about personal topics like that with each other.

If you ever tear up while talking about something emotional for you, Medic will bring you in for a hug and pat your back soothingly. “There, there. It’s alright, my dear Täubchen. Thank you for telling me.”

After one of those emotional discussions, when you calmed down after being comforted by him, you gave him a big smile and said, “Thanks, dad.”

You had to start comforting and hugging him instead because tears of joy started streaming down his face after he realised what you said. 

Overall, you two have a very open and loving relationship and are the best of partners in everything. :)

------

'Täubchen' - Little dove (German)

'Dummkopfs' - Idiots (German)

[stereax]

over explain hockey rpf pairings and why people like them - sincerely a girlie who wants to get into rpf but only knows her home team

hahahaha, alright :)

hockey rpf: a thing

So firstly, I'll say that, honestly, I'm not the top person to answer this. I am a bit of a fanfic writer, but I'm nowhere near established enough to have a very concrete understanding of it all.

That being said - generally, the reason any RPF (real-person fiction) exists is as an extension of a parasocial relationship. RPF allows people to project feelings onto a fictionalized version of a real person (here a hockey player) who we know much more about than they do us.

RPF can be divided into two subcategories - Player x Player and Player x Reader.

"x readers" (generally found on Tumblr) are often contested in the world of RPF, as many people consider it a bit too far in breaking the fourth wall. There are also issues with diversity in "x readers". The reader in question is almost always assumed white, Anglo-American, cisgender, female, heterosexual, heteroromantic, neurotypical, not fat, not disabled and not disordered in any way. Not only does this reinforce a "beauty standard" (by insinuating that only this kind of person is "attractive enough" to be a partner of a hockey player), it alienates those who do not fall into these categories - this is especially pertinent, at least in my limited experience, for transmasculine people, for whom being perceived as female can cause discomfort and dysphoria. If you're an "x reader" writer reading this and thinking that you're the problem for writing to uphold this standard, please don't feel bad - this is the standard "x reader" fiction has upheld for years. I ask only that you consider writing for more diverse audiences. Maybe one of your next "x readers" could be for a character explicitly written to be of color, or a transgender character, or the character could be hard of hearing or require a wheelchair... The possibilities are endless.

Enough about "x readers" and my gripes on them, though, as your question leads me to believe you're not all that interested in them. Player x player fics (generally posted on Ao3), while not as divisive as "x readers", also carry their own issues, often around misportrayal. For instance, some hockey players, such as Carey Price and Zach Whitecloud, have Indigenous backgrounds, which are an important part of their identities, but are rarely discussed in any detail.

In both areas, it's generally emphasized not to have the fics interact with the public figures - this means archive-locking on Ao3 and other measures to reduce the probability of players actually finding and reading these fics. Don't send a hockey player fic about him boning his teammate. That's weird.

As perhaps the "homoerotic homophobic" sport, hockey RPF situates itself in an environment that allows writers, who are often queer, to tackle issues of sexuality (sometimes gender as well) in a sport that is not always tolerant, mimicking some writers' experiences with homophobia and transphobia. This is especially pertinent in an era when Pride jerseys are being disavowed by players and the NHL itself.

The main idea of RPF, though, isn't a group of queer scholars writing treatises on queer topics - it's simply being a witness to the joy of others, watching people you like being happy (with each other) in situations just left of reality. Hockey, and hockey players, are just the medium for finding that joy. I think that's the long and short of it, honestly. I've spent a solid half hour trying to figure out a better way to put it and I really can't. People care about hockey pairs because they care about the players and want to see them happy. Whether it's a realistic hockey fic or a high fantasy AU where the players are royalty and knights, the idea is to create something that makes oneself (and others) happy. There are fics that, for some of us, hit home in a way that fundamentally changes our point of view on life. Not every fic is earth-shattering, but they are all labors of love, generally in the name of love, and perhaps that's something to cherish in and of itself.

Let's get into some of the pairings, then.

Generally, the more popular pairings have some sort of impetus or drive behind them - an interaction (or usually series thereof) that makes the pair enticing. Popular pairings almost always deal with popular players, too - it is incredibly rare that bottom-six players and journeymen are featured in fics.

Often, the impetus for a pair is them being teammates and growing close, giving interviews about each other, having good chemistry (and cuddles!) on the ice, and so on and so forth. Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin, Mitch Marner/Auston Matthews, Jamie Drysdale/Trevor Zegras are some of the most common teammate pairs on Ao3 - going into the specifics on each pair I mention from here on out would require my making entire primers at this point, which others have done far better than I could. Teammate pairings are often denoted by jersey numbers. (8771, 3416, 611, respectively.)

The other main impetus for a pair is a rivalry. Who doesn't love a good rivals to lovers? Leon Draisaitl/Matthew Tkachuk, Sidney Crosby/Claude Giroux, Jack Eichel/Connor McDavid are some of the top rival pairings, with each having strong motives. The first stems from the Battle of Alberta and Draisaitl's "get off the ice" comment about Tkachuk before combining for a sweet goal during one of the All-Star Games; the second is the Pennsylvania teams' rivalry that led to Crosby basically breaking Giroux's wrists before they made up on one of the Worlds Team Canada rosters with Crosby centering Giroux; the 2015 draft class where Eichel and McDavid were pit against each other and the media-stoked rivalry, only stronger now that the "worse" player Eichel has a Stanley Cup whereas the Oilers' "savior" and "generational talent" McDavid is still Cupless, fuel that pairing.) These pairings generally are denoted by portmanteaus of last names. (MattDrai, Cheesby [Giroux's love of grilled cheese makes a better pairing name], McEichel.)

Obviously for pairing names, there are exceptions - Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid is often referred to as McDrai and not 2997, as one example. Oftentimes, numbers or last names aren't used, and it's just written as "first name/first name" or "firstfirst" - sidgeno and nicojack are two examples of that. That works better when your pair has at least one distinguishable name.

As always, I know this is far from complete, and I invite others in the HRPF community to share their thoughts and experiences as well! :)

Your hometown team (don't know what it is) probably has a few pairs that are written about. If you're up to it, maybe start from there. If that feels a bit much for you, maybe start from a pair whose players you aren't yet emotionally attached to, from a different team. That's, of course, if you want to dive into the world of hockey RPF at all - if not, that's totally cool too!

If you want to know more about a specific pair, let me know and I'll do some Tumblr trawling for ya.

[wutheringmights]

I've just found Call Them Brothers and I am so in love with the way you write Warriors, Time, and Wind. The characterizations are all fascinating and they all feel like real, breathing people and it's super impressive. They're definitely my favorite characterizations I've found in any lu fic and I just wanted to say thank you for giving such complex characters such a fascinating and cathartic story.

Also, the way you have crafted the plot together and connected so many different narrative threads into what I can only describe as a gorgeous tapestry is absolutely masterful. You are truly composing one of the greatest and most well put together stories I've ever read. As a writer myself, I feel like I'm learning so much about how to use stylistic choices to better support plot threads. I absolutely adore CTB so thank you very much.

If it's alright, can I ask how you manage all the various plot threads and especially all the political intrigue?

I hope you have a lovely day/evening and thank you so much for Call Them Brothers

Thank you so much! You're really kind and I'm so happy you like CTB so far!! This story has been a big experiment of just throwing stylistic spaghetti at the wall and seeing what happens, so I'm glad you're enjoying it.

I am a proud preacher of the importance of character drama in a story. Any genre or idea or world is carried by the writing for the characters. I have spent a long time honing in on how to write character dramas.

I say that because all of the various plot threads, even the political intrigue ones, are at their core about two or more characters at odds with each other.

Every plot line about the war can be broken down into what Warriors's relationships are with other people, like Spirit, Lincoln, Zelda, Impa, Anders, and more. Typically, each character is a mouthpiece for a specific stance that Warriors opposes. Let them clash, and what is essentially a story about a bunch of people trying to figure out how to fight a war becomes 10 times more intriguing.

I know I wrote a very long post some time about about how I came up with some of the world building stuff concerning the politics, but I can't find it. Here is a quick summary of what I probably said:

Don't be afraid to just use real world politics in your story; my Hyrule is brimming with a lot of the classic Americanisms

Focus on cause and effect; if character X does something, then it should have a ripple effect

Look at other stories about the topic you're writing on; I was pretty familiar with literature and movies about war before writing this story, which certainly helped me in writing about a war

Get everyone's perspectives; I find that a lot of political intrigue focuses on the upper classes, which is why I think the story becomes richer when you look at how all these policies affect the people

For the copious amounts of plot threads... I'm not even sure, pal. All I know is that I established that certain characters are going through stuff and as I write the story, they kind of just do things on their own.

I can talk more about how the present day and the past are worked together:

For purposes of character development and plotting, I considered the past and the present two different stories; thinking them as the same one makes it more complicated than it needs be

I picked a point in both plots where the events had to happen in the same chapter, then paced CTB around it

The past is more thoroughly planned out in the present so that I could reference one in the other without worrying about inconsistencies

Everyone already knows how the past ends, as it ends in the present. That means the two sides of the story will have different types of tension: one where the reader sees the train wreck but can't stop it and one where the reader doesn't know when the crash is happening; understanding they have different types of tension and intrigue and leaning into it will help the plots match up

Everything beyond that I just kinda wing it. Truthfully, I can tell where in the story I shoe'd in a convenient plot point to help move things along. I don't think many people notice where the plot is weak since I try to make everything come off as being on purpose.

So that's my last bit of advice: be confident, especially if this is a genre you're not used to or a project that you think you're not prepared for. Readers can tell when you're scared. I swear that if you just commit and show no fear, your story will appear more put together than it is.

[whoviandoodler]

I know a lot of aromantic people struggle with their identity and feeling like they lost something by not feeling romantic attraction, and their experiences are perfectly valid and I'm acknowledging them, but for me, aromanticism is the kind of freedom I didn't really think I would ever get.

It's been about two years since I came to the conclusion that I was on the aro spectrum (something less than that since I realized that I was aro specifically), and it has come to my attention recently just how much it has helped me be comfortable in my own skin.

I was in class, and we were given a task to talk about (mostly romantic) relationships, and one of my classmates kept nervously and self-consciously saying something to the effect of 'ha ha, I would know this if I'd ever been in a relationship' and 'imagine having a bf'; suddenly, as I was sitting there all relaxed, completely unbothered by the topic, I was faced with a mirror image of myself from a few years ago, embarrassed and longing after this imagined romantic relationship that would bring me all these things I longed for and believed romantic relationships were the sole and guaranteed provider of- safety, comfort, intimacy, care, love.

If I had gone on thinking I was alloromantic, I might still be there, an aro person convinced that I was missing a piece that would put all things to rights, aspiring for this thing that I in actuality never really wanted. I knew on some level I didn't want it, because I've always been so disinterested in real people romantically that it's kinda funny when I look back, but I'd trick myself into a fancy, an Oscar Wilde kind of infatuation with the idea of something rather that infatuation with the thing itself (in third grade, this boy and I were convinced we had a crush on each other because our peers constantly pushed the idea that boys and girls couldn't be just friends, and I'd gladly played along, working myself up into a frenzy and giggling and doing dramatic confessions; a gay boy and an aro "girl", pushed into a three-act heteronormative drama).

I sometimes still act along, but now it's to satisfy my need for ironic entertainment at the expense of no one in particular and allonormative society at large, rather than a desperate desire to fit into a space that I was promised would bring salvation and had never brought me anything but puzzlement and upset.

There is a specific kind of freedom that you get only when you know who you are; are entirely alright with it; realize how that knowledge brought you peace and self-acceptance; and see the unique perspective on society's widely accepted yet harmful norms and traditions that it gives you. It's like swimming against the current your entire life, having been convinced by people trapped right alongside you that happiness lay ahead of you and a deadly waterfall behind you, only to see the illusion for what it was and finally, finally, get out of the damn river and take a rest.

[hiruinonai]

@soverina​​​​ said ; noting the weariness, a slender index lightly pokes between his eyes, “ are you not getting enough sleep? ” cue an endearingly innocent tilt of the head ( upon closer inspection might one see a glint of worry in doe - eyes ), “ a day off might do you some good actually, maybe even cutting back on the coffee… come with me for a walk — i may even spare you the trouble of lending me a jacket. we’ll see ! ” cue a little mischievous wink.  /  𝐔𝐍𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐃

   𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 , as even despite the fact that his final years have been consumed in quietness, the loudness that remained inside his spirit, the violence of all those years― those things were not always so easy to quiet down for some short while; as there wasn’t even a need for him to reflect deeply about his past in order to naturally hear even the sound of something as harmless as bamboo swords hitting against each other whenever everything got quiet for once.

Such experiences felt fresh inside his memory, however he wasn’t one to voice them nor his deep thoughts out loud to others, not even while he was alive (unless sake was involved), as rarely if ever would he have spoken about those years to others, even to the closest people to him; be it a result of the level of secrecy his job once held, (or was believed much later on to have held) or his overall sense of privacy that often lead others to question and ponder the truth of the kind of man he was, neither of those answers really got to solve the main topic;

that is that Saito Hajime was a man difficult to read. Difficult to predict.

Yet it wasn’t impossible, because despite the mystery that he was, and despite his existence as an heroic spirit, he still possessed a fundamentally human nature, and to those that were observant enough, small details would slowly yet surely begin to pile up. And oh was she an observant person.

   Tap.

It is gentle, yet enough to snap him back to the present, and as her question settles inside his head, he looks down at her eyes, that never fail to remind him of rivers, (a color that in truth, he’s never quite seen in the eyes of someone else), and his expression of surprise quickly shifts as his lips tug into a smile.

❝ Oi, oi- now you are leading me to think I look tired. My... Harsh words you are saying, now my feelings are hurt- ❞   He lightly teases her as the frown on his face begins to dissipate under her fingers.   ❝ Remember how us servants don’t need sleep? Whether I get enough sleep or not shouldn’t matte― ❞   But he is cut midway his sentence- or better said, he cuts his own sentence as he opens his eyes and takes yet another look at hers. Behind her lightheartedness, he could tell that something else was lingering behind her eyes, this being the result of a job that in the past has required him to possess a sharp gaze, to witness any and every small detail, something he still carried to this day. It didn’t take him long at all to realize that there was a hint of concern behind her eyes, and as fruitless as he believed cutting his reserves of coffee, energy drinks and sake would be, he stops himself from mentioning this thought; perhaps ... perhaps because if he might not care about it, she did- and denying such things suddenly felt― like a demerit to her genuine concerns.

❝ Can you really say that when you haven’t returned my other coat yet? ❞   Yet he puts on his suit’s jacket regardless, because he knew that at the end of the day, even if he ended up having to manifest on his final ascension due to shortage on coats, he would still be giving them to her on cold days. And now he takes a few steps closer and stands right next to her. With his hands inside the pockets of his suit’s pants, he turns his head around to look at her one last time.   ❝ Alright, alright, let’s say I believe you on that. Where will you be taking me to then? Or are you going to keep that a mystery too? Surprises aren’t that bad sometimes. ❞