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always-anxious612 · 1 year

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Close Calls Ch. 2

This is the last chapter of this but I may do more of this au in the future! Also please don't judge me for my accuracy lol. I only did surface-level research on wounds and infections :')

Description: The infection grows more serious, and Virgil has to drag Roman to the clinic before it gets any worse. Unfortunately, he doesn't quite succeed. In other words, Roman is stubborn, Virgil is tired, and everything goes wrong.

Genre: hurt/comfort

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality

Warnings: panic attack, injuries mentioned, infections, homophobia menntioned, crying (let me know if I missed something or if you want something tagged!)

Word Count: 5,360

Chapter 1

The next day, I woke up a bit late, and, after hurriedly getting ready, began my duties as usual hoping Logan wouldn’t notice I was late. Logan was already in the clinic, as always, but this time Lord Patton was there as well. Thankfully, his presence saved me from a lengthy lecture. Patton was a well-known Lord in the castle, famous for his kindness and friendliness. Plus, he and Roman were pretty close as far as I could tell. Well, as close as a visiting Lord and a prince who only saw each other in formal spaces could be, I guess. They seemed to get along well is what I’m trying to say. Everyone at the castle loved him, though to be honest. Recently, I’d noticed he’d been visiting the castle more frequently and staying for longer periods of time, making a point to visit the clinic and say hello when he did. It had gotten to the point where he insisted that I call him Patton and drop the formalities while we were in the clinic. Logan had seemed to drop the formalities with him long ago.

“Um, good morning, my Lord,” I greeted Patton, still not quite being able to break the habit quite yet and trying to run a hand through my hand to make my bedhead more presentable. What so sue me, I didn’t have time to fix it that morning. I’d been up all night worrying about a certain prince.

“Oh, hi, Virgil! Good morning!” Patton grinned brightly. Ugh, how did he have so much energy so early in the day. I’d never understand morning people.

“I told you to just call me Patton, kiddo. No need to be so formal,” he added, coming over to ruffle my hair. Welp, guess fixing it had been pointless. Sometimes, I wondered if he knew we were the same age or if he just called everyone kiddo. From what I knew of him it was probably the latter.

“Um, right, so uh, is everything ok?” I questioned, awkwardly clearing my throat. “I—I mean, you’re not sick or anything, right?”

Sure, he’d been showing up here for a while now on his visits, but it never hurt to make sure. This was a clinic after all.

“Oh, no, no,” Patton assured, walking back over to Logan. “Just checking up on my two favorite physicians!”

“I’m still a nurse, technically,” I reminded him, though I couldn’t help but relax at his friendliness.

“Oh, Virgil, I meant to tell you. Today, you have the day off,” Logan finally spoke up, looking up from the papers he had been flipping through on his desk. So much for worrying about being late…Wait what?

“The day off?” I blanched. “But you always say that a doctor’s work is never done.”

I truly couldn’t remember a single day off since I’d started working here unless it was for medical reasons—ironic really.

“Ah, yes, well, Patton has expressed an interest in my profession, and I thought I’d take today to teach him a few things,” Logan replied, blushing slightly. Strange, Logan didn’t blush very easily…. I glanced at Patton and raised an eyebrow, trying not to jump to conclusions. If Logan understood what I was hinting at, he promptly ignored me, and I squashed down the thought. It wasn’t my business anyway, especially considering my own circumstances.

“If an emergency arises, I shall send for you, but soon, I’ll be taking Patton on my rounds to teach him to deal with less, um, life-threatening injuries and illnesses. You’re welcome to stay in the clinic if you’d like, but in case you need to find me, my list of patients to visit for today will be on my desk,” he instructed, clearing his throat.

“Oh, um, ok,” I muttered, already inching toward the door, “See ya later then, I guess. Bye Lo. Uh, Patton,”

I nodded a goodbye to both of them and waited until Patton had smiled and waved cheerily and Logan just nodded back to make my escape. Well, this gave me a chance to check on Roman at least.

Once I got up the many stairs and reached Roman’s room, I took a minute to catch my breath and look around before knocking. You’d think I’d be more used to making that trip by now.

“Um, your highness?” I called when I received no answer to my knock, glancing around again, just to be sure. When I still received no answer, I decided it was safe to just go in. Maybe he didn’t hear me?

“Roman?” I called after I made sure the door was closed behind me. Roman was standing by his window, studying the lush gardens outside, but he made no move to greet me.

“Princey?” I tried again, growing more concerned by the minute.

“Oh, Virgil!” He finally exclaimed, turning around a bit unsteadily. Huh, well that didn’t seem good.

“Uh, hey there, Roman. You doing ok?” I asked, already trying to examine him. His forehead was slick with sweat, and—though it looked like he had tried to cover it with makeup—I could see how flushed he was from across the room.

“Yeah, Yeah, I’m perfectly ok, V,” he smiled, as I came closer. The closer I got the worse he looked. His eyes were glazed, and he looked a little out of it, constantly rubbing at his eyes. Plus, other than the badly concealed flush of his cheeks, he was concerningly pale.

“Really,” I deadpanned.

“Yes, really. You’re only a tad bit blurry!” he asserted before cursing as he realized he’d just given himself away, “It’s really not that bad. I’m fine.”

“Wha—Roman, that’s not fine,” I chastised, hurrying the rest of the way over to him as he blinked sluggishly. “Can you make it to your bed?” “No, because I do not need to be in my bed,” he waved me off nervously.

“Roman,” I growled, grabbing his arm.

“Truly, Virgil, I’m completely fine,” Roman insisted, pulling at my grip.

“Obviously,” I retorted when he failed to get his arm back, “Just drop the act so I can help you. I need to see exactly what’s going on.”

“No,” He snapped yanking away from me, “I said I’m fine. I-I have an important meeting with the council to attend about the raids. So, if you’re done, I need to be on my way. Good day, Virgil,”

“Don’t you dare, Roman,” I threatened as he made his way shakily to the door.

“Listen, just—just make an excuse. You’re the prince. I’m sure you can postpone the meeting.”

“It’s not my meeting. My father called it, and he’s expecting me. I’m very sorry, Virgil, but I have to go,”

Ah, so that’s how it was. If this involved his father, it was going to be a whole lot harder to convince him to skip.

Roman had made it into the hallway and halfway toward the staircase by the time I collected my thoughts and made it to the doorway. However, I didn’t miss the fact that he was hugging the wall the whole way there.

“Roman—er, your highness—” I cleared my throat, looking around quickly. It was strangely empty. Whatever, it would be a lot more trouble if I got caught with Roman looking like this than for not addressing him properly, so I pushed it to the back of my mind.

“Roman, please. You can’t do this. You can barely stand up straight, much less last through a whole meeting,” I begged. Roman straightened slightly but otherwise kept walking making me tsk.

When he reached the staircase, he turned to glance at me before straightening once again and disappearing down the stairs. Groaning at his stubbornness, I hurried after him.

“Roman?” I called, getting worried when I turned the corner and didn’t see him. I made it a little over halfway down the winding staircase before finding Roman, leaning against the wall and panting. How the hell had he moved so fast and gotten so far ahead in this condition?

“Ro?” I asked hesitantly, eyes flicking over his slouched posture and glassy expression.

“May—Maybe I don’t feel so great,” He muttered before sliding unceremoniously down the wall.

“Princey,” I gasped, grabbing his arm and part of his shirt to keep him from toppling down the stairs.

“Hey, hey, Roman, are you ok?” I questioned, shifting to get a better hold on him and pinning him back against the wall. Roman mumbled a response too quiet to hear as his eyes fluttered.

“No no no no. Roman, stay awake, ok? Stay with me. We’re still on the staircase, I can’t get—I don’t—ugh, damn it, Roman. I’m not strong enough to carry you back up. Why didn’t you just listen to me,” I muttered, starting to panic.

It’s ok, it’s ok, I started coaching myself, taking deep breaths as I tried not to launch into a full-blown panic attack. just take a deep breath and think. It’s not that bad, I blatantly lied to myself, trying not to even entertain the thought of what would happen if someone chose this moment to walk down the staircase. I could do this, right? I could—I could at least get him to the clinic if not back to his room. That was better anyway. He needed medical care that wasn’t me, and besides, going downstairs would be easier than going up, right? At least that’s what I hoped…

I was wrong. Or maybe I wasn’t. Maybe this was easier than going upstairs, but if that were true, I dreaded to think how going upstairs would be. After I had convinced Roman to finally let me take him to the clinic—as if I was really giving him a choice this time or that he was alert enough to fight back anyway—I found myself carrying a delirious, semi-conscious Prince on my back. Unfortunately, no matter what direction you go, trying to navigate stairs with a whole person on your back is rather difficult.

“Remind me—to—to kill you—after I make sure—you’re ok,” I huffed, out of breath and already sweating. Roman didn’t reply, concerning me even more. How had he gotten so sick just overnight? It had to be the infection, right?

After what felt like ages, I reached the clinic and almost sagged in relief.

“Logan?” I gasped, kicking open the door. At this point, Roman was completely unresponsive and slack against me, making it even harder to keep him on my back. I quickly laid him on the clinic bed and frantically looked around for Logan before realizing he was probably already on his rounds.

“Are you kidding me,” I grumbled, going to grab a damp towel for Roman’s forehead. The whole point of risking bringing him here instead of to his room was that I didn’t know what to do.

Huffing, I gathered some bandages and supplies to check on Roman’s wound again. That’s really the only thing I could think of that could be causing this. Did the infection get worse? Just how bad? When I got the bandages from yesterday off, I hissed in sympathy. Just as I had feared, the infection was much worse. It—This whole thing was beginning to feel like my fault. If I’d done better cleaning and stitching it. If I’d noticed that he was developing a fever yesterday. If I’d convinced him to come to Logan. If—If…I took a deep breath, pushing away the thoughts to focus on what I should do now. My hands trembled as I began thoroughly cleaning and sterilizing the infected area. At least there were actual supplies in the clinic, I guess.

After I cleaned it, I set to work quickly, gently rubbing some antibiotic cream over the infection and making sure the stitches were ok. I’d have to make sure to change his bandages more often and to keep it clean so this wouldn’t happen again or get any worse. Next, I grabbed a cup of water and some medicines that should help with both the fever and the infection. This was the only other thing I could think of doing. The infection didn’t seem severe enough to have to remove it surgically or anything, but I’d be sure to ask Logan when he came back. The thought of him seeing how horribly I’d messed this up made me sick to my stomach, especially when the prince was the patient; but I knew it would be much worse if I didn’t get his help.

Sighing, I brought the medicine over to Roman and sat on the edge of the bed

“Princey,” I whispered, nudging his arm. Roman groaned and groggily batted my hand away.

“Come on, Princey, I need you to take these,” I coaxed softly, ignoring his swat and shaking him again. This time, he managed to squint his eye open.

“Do wha’?” he slurred tiredly.

“Take these pills, Ro. They’ll help.”

“M-My father. I have to—” he remembered suddenly, trying to push himself up and ignoring the offered pills.

“No,” I responded curtly, pushing him back down gently, “Your father can wait. I’ll even help you make up an excuse. Or you know, I’ll have Logan write you a medical note to prove that you have a fever and are not fit for work today. You—You passed out, Roman, I think that warrants skipping the meeting. Lean back and take these. Please.”

Roman sighed heavily but did as he was told and took the pills and water from me. His easy compliance told me all I needed to know about how badly he must be feeling.

After he gulped down the rest of the water, he ended up passing out again, leaving me to sit and wait by myself. Logan’s rounds usually took about two and a half to three hours because of the amount of soldiers the castle housed. More soldiers meant more injuries to check up on, and on days were the infirmary wasn’t full, or when the clinic was slow, Logan took his time to personally visit and check on every one of them. That’s not even mentioning the other castle staff that he’d tend to when illness spread throughout the castle or the fact that he had earned the title of royal physician, meaning that he also took care of not only the royal family but also any visiting noble staying in the castle. Needless to say, he had a lot of patients, and though he had other physicians and nurses that would regularly come and help him, especially when there was an influx, he usually preferred to work alone when he could. Today, no one was scheduled to be in the clinic, and no one was in the infirmary, so I knew Logan would be taking his time. With Patton there, it would probably take him even longer. He loved any opportunity to teach.

Sighing once again, I went to stand to get some water for myself when something warm clamped around my wrist.

“Roman?” I questioned, turning to find his hand holding me back. “Is something wrong?”

He grunted softly before yanking me forward, almost causing me to trip onto him.

“Cuddle,” he mumbled before I could yell at him. I felt my face flush bright red at his request.

“R-Roman, you know we can’t,” I protested, trying to pull away.

“Virgil,” Roman pouted, gazing up at me blearily, “Please?”

“We’re—We’re not in your room, Ro. Someone could walk in.”

“Please?” he begged, already struggling to keep his eyes open. I bit my lip hesitantly. He didn’t look far from falling asleep again. Maybe I could just cuddle long enough to get him to sleep then slip out before anyone could see us. Besides, it wasn’t as if anybody but me and Logan usually came into the clinic when it was closed anyway, and Logan was out on his rounds.

“Fine,” I gave in reluctantly as Roman smiled victoriously and scooted over to make room for me.

I couldn’t help the contented sigh that escaped my lips once I was settled in his arms, making sure to be careful of his wound. It was just so warm and comforting, and the way he was playing with my hair…I absentmindedly snuggled into his chest and let the warmth numb my mind. I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, worried about Roman—apparently for good reason. A quick nap wouldn’t hurt, right? Besides, I was sure Logan wouldn’t be back for at least a couple of hours, and he was always complaining about the dark circles under my eyes and telling me to get more sleep. He should be happy I’m finally taking his advice. Unfortunately, my brain was too tired and too content to remind me just how bad an idea it was to let my guard down out in the open like this. Roman’s now steady breaths lulled me deeper into comfort and I felt myself slipping. It was so warm. This is nice, my mind almost sighed as I slid into sleep with Roman’s arms still wrapped securely around me. I should really learn to listen to my instincts more…

I was pulled from that warmth a little bit later by a rough nudge to my arm. Thinking it must be Roman, I groaned and shoved the arm away. The nudging paused and I was about to go back to sleep when there was another nudge—softer this time—followed by a voice.

“Virgil, you should probably get up.”

Oh. That—That wasn’t Roman’s voice. In an instant I shot up, inhaling sharply as I saw Logan and Patton peering down at me. No, oh no, no no no, how could I have let this happen? I should have never fallen asleep. I always harped on Roman for doing things that could get us caught but this was all my fault. What should I do? What could I do? Both of them had always been kind to me, but there was no telling how they’d react to this. Were they going to be angry? Were they disgusted with me? Were—Were they going to report me? What about Roman? I couldn’t let anything happen to him because of my carelessness. As my thoughts swirled around me, it became harder to draw air into my lungs. Once I realized that I couldn’t breathe, my chest constricted, holding back more of my breath. If it tightened anymore, I feared it would be impossible to breath altogether, but I couldn’t seem to collect my thoughts enough to loosen the knot there. My hands shook as I hugged myself, willing my panicked thoughts to go away. Obviously, it didn’t work. I saw motion from the corner of my eye and realized Logan was talking to me. Had he been talking this whole time?

“Virgil,” he coached, “Virgil, do you think you can take a breath in? Follow my breathing, ok?” more movement, to my left this time, but I couldn’t bring myself to look up. I tried to follow along; I really did. But every breath hurt. Everything hurt. My throat was burning. My chest ached. My head pounded. And everything was going wrong. Everything that I feared was happening. We’d been discovered. I ruined it. We couldn’t—I couldn’t—we just…half formed thoughts plagued my mind and my breath hitched as I realized I was crying. Was I going to be executed for this?

“Virgil, dearest. Look at me, my love,” a different voice spoke up this time, but there was only one person who called me dearest and my love. I felt a hand touch my cheek hesitantly, then gently tilt my face until I was face to face with Roman.

“I need you to breath with me, Virge,” he instructed, calmly. “In for four seconds. Hold for seven. Out for eight, remember? You can do it.”

As he counted out the seconds, he removed his hand from my face in order to take my hand and press it against his chest. I struggled to follow along at first, but he continued breathing deeply and counting the seconds until I could. With Roman’s reassurances and guidance, I slowly felt myself relaxing.

Once the world came into focus again and I could breathe regularly without feeling like I was dying, I took one more deep breath before slouching forward into Roman’s chest.

“It’s alright, V,” Roman soothed, carding his fingers through my hair. Except, it wasn’t ok. Logan and Patton saw us. They know. I couldn’t even bring myself to look up and see if they were still standing there or if they’d already gone to report us to the king. The silence in the room made me inclined to believe the latter. I loved Logan, but he was very strict with the rules. There’s no way he’d let something as big as this slide. I was just another nurse, right? Instead, I sniffled and buried myself further into Roman’s chest.

“Oh, your shirt,” I lamented shakily, brushing my fingers against the wet spot that now stained the expensive fabric.

“It’s nothing, stormcloud,” Roman hushed, pulling me closer. I felt more tears burn my eyes at the action.

“Sorry,” I whispered, feeling the weight of everything settle uncomfortably in my chest.

“You have nothing to apologize for, dearest,” Roman assured softly. Liar. How could he say that when I was the reason we’d never get to see each other again.

“Um, pardon me for interrupting, my prince, but I believe this tea may help Virgil,” Logan’s voice offered softly from behind me making me jump. He was still here? Wait, he didn’t sound angry or disgusted. “Ah, um, thank you,” Roman responded, accepting the tea.

Taking a steadying breath, I finally pushed myself away from Roman’s chest. Roman handed me the tea before placing his arms loosely around my waist. I looked at the tea then hesitantly back to Logan. Patton stood behind him, worry swimming in his eyes. What was going on exactly?

“The tea helps to calm the heart rate and I find it to be quite helpful when I’m feeling stressed,” Logan explained awkwardly when I didn’t make any move to drink it. Nodding warily, I took a sip, relishing the calming warmth that flooded me when I did.

“Um, I also would like to apologize, Virgil. I did not realize that waking you would cause such a reaction. I should have been more careful,” Logan continued after a short but tense silence. At his apology, I couldn’t take it anymore. Why wasn’t he freaking out?

“Aren’t—Aren’t you gonna say something? A-About this?” I stammered out, hating how raspy and shaky my voice sounded.

“What would you like me to say, Virgil?”

I blanched at him, then glanced back at Roman who looked equally confused as I felt.

“I—Aren’t you, d-disgusted or—or something?” I pressed incredulously.

“Why would I be disgusted?” Logan questioned, tilting his head. I mirrored his look of confusion before setting my tea down lest I spill it with how much I was still shaking.

“By—By us? Or—I mean—m-maybe not disgusted but, you know, this isn’t really…accepted. I-I mean don’t you think it’s—wrong or something? I mean we’re both—and on top of that, I’m just a—I—”

“Virgil,” Logan interrupted before I could work myself up too much, “I would never be disgusted by this. Any of it. By you both being of the same gender, or by you being from different social classes. I—You know that I’m your friend, right? And that I would never report you or anything? Even if I were against it, I couldn’t do that to you. I would never do that to you.”

At my shocked expression, Logan’s shoulders slumped.

“I take it you didn’t know any of that,” he sighed, looking even more miserable as I shook my head.

“I suppose that’s on me, then,” he frowned remorsefully.

“Lo,” I started, suddenly feeling guilty for ever doubting him. I never would have dreamed that he considered me a friend. I thought I was just another apprentice. He’s had plenty before me…

“No, no, I should have made it clear that I care for you,” Logan insisted. “Let me make it clear now.”

I shut my mouth and nodded for him to continue.

“Virgil, I have considered you a friend for a while now, and if you’d like, I’d still like to consider you one,”—he paused and I nodded frantically at the offer before he smiled and continued—“I care for you and your well-being very much, and I would never wish harm on you. I have no intention of ever reporting you as long as the current king is in rule. His methods and punishments tend to be a little cruel, and I never want to see you hurt. Nor will I report you for something that shouldn’t even be considered a crime. If Prince Roman is the one you love and you are the one he loves, then I support you fully. You cannot help who you fall in love with. If it is mutual and consenting, then there shouldn’t be a problem, social class or gender be damned.”

“That’s right, kiddo,” Patton spoke up stepping forward, startling me. I’d kind of forgotten he was there. I was really not on my game with being vigilant today.

“I won’t report you either. It’d be a little hypocritical of me if I did,” He smiled, shooting a quick glance to Logan. I wanted to ask him to elaborate on that last part but decided against it. I was pretty sure I got the hint, and again, it wasn’t really my business anyway.

“And I know that I haven’t known you nearly as long as Logan, but I’d like to be your friend as well if you’d like,” Patton continued, shooting me a beaming smile. I returned his smile hesitantly, though mine wasn’t nearly as big or bright. I don’t think I could fully comprehend what was happening right now. This was certainly not how I thought things would be going. Just a few minutes ago, I’d been getting ready to say goodbye to Roman forever.

“Ok, um, we—we can be friends, if, uh, you really want to,” I nodded, snorting as Patton bounced in place a bit and nodded happily. He was always so excitable, I couldn’t help but grin.

“You—You really won’t report us?” Roman assured, arms tightening around me slightly, “Either of you?”

“Of course not, My Prince,” Logan confirmed.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Your Highness,” Patton chimed in.

“Please, just Roman is fine.”

Patton grinned at him and nodded, while Logan just raised an eyebrow.

“Alright then, now that that’s been settled, may I ask what you two are doing in the clinic in the first place? Is something wrong?” Logan inquired, studying the two of us.

“Oh, that’s right. It’s a bit risky to be cuddling out in the open like this, even if it was pawsitively adorable,”—Patton giggled at his own pun— “Wouldn’t it be safer in your room, Roman? Or somewhere hidden?”

“Ah, well—” I glanced back at Roman and at his reluctant nod, began explaining.

“Princey, er, Roman sneaked off to take part in stopping the raid on the nearby town and came back with a stab wound. He wouldn’t let me take him to you, Lo, trust me I tried,” I grumbled, taking a second to glare at Roman which he promptly ignored, “so, I tried to tend to it myself. I, uh, I guess I didn’t do very well. It got infected. Then I tried to fix it, but when I went to check on him this morning it was even worse, and he had a fever and ended up passing out. I managed to get him here and tried the best I could with mending it an everything, but uh, if you could take a look…”

Logan nodded at my request, and I scrambled out of Roman’s lap as he bent down to pull up his shirt. He quickly undid the bandages I’d wrapped and started examining it, asking what medications and ointments I’d used as he went.

“Well, you’ve done a remarkable job at cleaning the infection as far as I can tell. You gave him all the correct medicines and ointments as well. The stitching is also very well done. Keep in mind, Virgil, that the infection may not have been caused by you or by improper care. It could be internal body bacteria, or the fact that you did the stitches in an unsterilized environment under what sounds like not ideal conditions. All things considered, you did everything right,” Logan commended before leaning back and turning to address both me and Roman. I felt the knot in my chest lessen even more at his words even as I blushed at the praise.

“All you can do now is monitor the infection and keep it clean and dry and change the bandages often. Also be sure to avoid scratching at the stitches. They may begin to itch, especially because of the infection. I’d recommend avoiding heavy physical labor that could stretch or break the stitches as well. If you need an excuse, come find me and I’ll be more than happy to write you a note or talk to your father myself. You’ve suffered a very bad fever after all, even collapsing from it. I’m sure I could convince him you need bedrest,” he instructed, smiling softly at both of us. I blinked at him, pretty sure I’d never seen him smile so genuinely before. Huh. Today was full of surprises.

“Oh, also, take these pills for the next week, your Highness. Your fever seems to have gone down quite a bit, and I’d like to keep it that way. I’ll have Virgil keep up with your infection as he’s done an excellent job already and I’m sure you’d both prefer that.”

“Thank you, Logan,” Roman nodded, returning Logan’s smile and taking the pills that he offered.

“And I’ve told you a million times to just call me Roman.” He added with a huff.

“And I’ve told you a million times that it’s unprofessional to address you as such,” Logan tsked, sighing as he quickly re-bandaged his wound.

“Well then don’t do it as a professional do it as a friend,” Roman shot back, making Logan pause. He slowly finished up the bandages before taking a step back and raising an eyebrow

“A friend?” he questioned, crossing his arms.

“Yes. I believe this could be the start of a great friendship, the four of us. Don’t you guys think? Besides I’ve known you for years, Logan. Plus, I’m well acquainted with Patton already, though we’ve never gotten to spend much one-on-one time together. And Virgil, well, of course, uh, you know…” Roman cleared his throat blushing a bit. “Um, anyway, it’ll be nice, don’t you think? We can all just be here and exist together. No need for formalities or regard for social status or any of that. We can all relax and be ourselves.”

Logan took a minute to think it over before sighing and nodding softly.

“I—I suppose that’s acceptable,” he agreed, “You seem to constantly land yourself in my clinic anyway; so, it’s not as if I don’t get enough of you. It would be…nice to be friends.”

“Yay! New friends! I need you to know that I already love all of you so much,” Patton cheered as Roman stuck his tongue out at Logan.

“I think you just love everyone, Patton,” I couldn’t help but snort.

“Well, maybe, but you guys are special. I can’t wait to get to know you all more,” he replied, looking fondly at Roman and Logan who were now arguing about who-knows-what.

“Yeah,” I chuckled, rolling my eyes as Roman dramatically gasped and put a hand to his chest, “Me either, Pat.” Me either

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lily-janus · 1 year

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Someone Like You

Hello everyone! This has been a little bit overdue heh but I'm finally ready to start posting for @tsspromptmonth ! The first few chapters are still not the parts I wrote but the wonderful parts @prince-rowan-of-the-forest wrote! So give them credit for those! I'll be posting a chapter every week, if anyone would like me to tag them to get notified feel free to reach out in the asks or dms^^

Chapter one | next

Summary: after you get into an accident that leaves you with chronic pain and partial blindness and causes you to get bullied and laughed at at school and the only friend you ever had ditches you for the pupolar friend group, you kinda don't really feel like connecting with anyone anymore... even if you do have a crush on them. So, of course, now you're forced to work with them on a project for English class... what could possibly go wrong?

Pairings: pre romantic Roceit, platonic LAMP

Warnings: bullying, public humiliation, unsympathetic Janus (kinda? He's being mean a lot but it's kinda understandable), misunderstandings, self degrading thoughts, chronic pain, partial blindness, trying to hide your disability, lying, low self esteem, unrequired love(for now), swearing. I think that's it but let me know if I missed anything.

Word count: 2,898

Growing up, Janus had always been different. He liked to hide in the shadows, he lied far more often than was necessary, to the point where the people who knew him knew to take most things he said to mean the opposite, when he wasn’t lying he was either too shy to speak or rude to anyone who bothered trying.

And of course, there was a massive scar across half of his face. Yeah, that was a pretty big one. He’d gotten it during the car accident that killed his mother when he was very young, since then he’d been blind in one eye and had bad vision in the other, his habit of lying had gotten even worse and he often felt terrible pains in his left limbs which the doctor had said may be chronic and probably wouldn’t go away any time soon and no matter how many physio sessions he attended or meds he took the pains never really seemed to leave him alone.

Whenever he went outside people always seemed to stare, odd looks seemed to follow him wherever he went, sympathy was the best he could hope for, pity was the most common, disgust he’d come to expect, hatred towards him just for existing was something he’d gotten used to over the years.

Now, ten years since the accident, he’d gotten used to everything that came from being different. The stares in the school hallways when he used his cane, the angry looks when he bumped into someone on the street, not realising that they were as close as they were, usually when they were on his blind side.

He got angry look after angry look from his teachers when he lied time and time again. The exasperated look his therapist always gave him when he’d come back every week only to report little progress as always.

Unfortunately, now that he was older, a junior in highschool, he was starting to realise there were a few more issues than just the looks and the lies. At the age of seventeen Janus started to notice things. He noticed the two seniors walking arm in arm down the hall. He accidentally walked in on two of his classmates doing the devil’s tango in the bathroom more than once (which had immediately made it onto his short list of reasons he wished he was fully blind, possibly deaf too). He noticed his classmates passing notes in the seats in front of him, the notes adorned with little hearts or smiley faces which made the receiver blush and turn away with a silent giggle.

The romance was everywhere now when it hadn’t been so prominent before, and like a lot of other kids his age, Janus was starting to want it too. The issue he faced was… well who would ever love him?

Of course it was easy to notice the beautiful girls and even more beautiful boys getting together, it was in plain sight, like everyone had suddenly decided to pair off. But he also noticed the kids who didn’t meet society's strict (and stupid, in Janus’ humble opinion) standards for beauty. The girl with acne, the boy who was slightly overweight, the trans girl in his class who hadn’t been able to transition quite yet, the girl who liked to have her hair short and clothes baggy just because. None of those people had been able to pair off, whether they wanted to or not, they sat alone at lunch and in class, they didn’t get invited to parties or get partners for dances.

Janus noticed all this because he was one of those people too. The popular kids would fling insults and slurs at him like he was a witch in a medieval stoning, they would point at him discreetly in the halls and laugh. They'd throw paper balls at the back of his head in class. He'd even been pummelled by a basketball once because kids really didn't know when to stop. He’d had his lunch smacked from his hands, he’d been shoved and pushed and kicked while he was down. Janus knew what it was like, and he knew his crowd.

Unfortunately, that didn’t mean his heart would obey him and stick to that crowd.

Because Janus found his eye wandering in class, he couldn’t help the way he was drawn in, like iron to a magnet, and he hated it. He despised the feeling so deeply, because it made him want. It made him want for something he was sure he could never hope to have.

Roman was somehow both a prep and a jock, a theatre kid who always seemed to be the centre of attention in whatever situation he found himself in. Roman was the prime example of the people who bullied him. If someone asked Janus to point out the kind of person who made fun of him in the corridors, he’d tell them ‘people like Roman’ because there he was, strutting down the middle of the corridor with his friends, wearing his custom varsity jacket (with a golden crown and his last name- Prince- printed on the back in gold). They would walk past and people would get out of the way, they would walk into a class and everyone would stare, but never in the same way they stared at him.

Roman might be the prime example of one of his bullies, but funnily enough Roman himself had never done anything to him. At least not in person. Janus had no way of knowing what was said behind his back (a lot was said behind his back) but he did know that Roman had never been the one to throw the basketball, Roman had never shoved him out of the way, he’d never tripped him or smacked his lunch to the floor. In fact, Roman had never interacted with him at all.

And yet for some reason, Janus’ heart longed for him, that glittery eyeshadow, those bright green eyes, his brown hair that seemed to shine red and gold in the light. But despite his own wants he knew it wouldn't happen, he wouldn't even attempt to lie to himself, there was no hope for him.

If anyone asked, which they never did, Janus would say he despised the other boy. Hated the way he leant back on his chair during English class without a care in the world. He would say he hated the way he could hear Roman's melodic laugh over the cacophony of the cafeteria. The way his eye was always drawn to the guy when he acted so perfectly in their drama class. Hated the way Roman’s hair shone shades of rust and gold and brown in the sun, hated the way his green eyes reminded him of a forest in the summer, hated the way he was able to speak loud and free like he’d never experienced a problem in his life.

Roman was so far out of his league they weren't even playing the same sport- or- whatever the hell that idiom was supposed to mean. Not only that but Roman was already taken, by the stupid emo kid who used to be his best friend, in fact.

Used to be his best friend, that is, until Virgil ditched him the moment he got a chance to be part of the cooler group. The moment he realised that Patton didn't mind his dark makeup and Roman found his dark mysterious aesthetic interesting he’d been gone. He had lost his best friend to the popular kids four years ago, it was only last year when the rumours that Roman and Virgil had started dating began to spread and it made Janus' chest ache with jealousy.

But Janus got on with things despite that. He tried not to glance at Virgil when he passed him in the halls, he tried not to stare at Roman during class and when he sat alone at lunch. He tried to keep himself as mysterious and elusive as he could- he didn't talk to anyone if he could help it and when he had to he spoke in backwards riddles and lies, safe to say no-one wanted to be paired with him for group projects.

And then came one horrible day. It had already been an awful day for him already. His scars were acting up, feeling like they were pulled tight and they itched- they itched so badly despite the lotions and oils he had to put on them every morning. On top of that he'd forgotten both his hat and his glasses when he'd ran out of the house late and he'd been tripped in the corridor twice, it was only his second lesson of the day.

Janus wanted nothing more than to sink through the floor as their teacher went on and on about something or another that he'd catch up on later because he could never focus when he was around other people even when he could actually see what was on the screen. That was until he heard those dreaded words.

"You'll be doing this homework project in pairs!" Their teacher announced and Janus could practically feel the eyes land on him before people glanced away to look at their friends, wondering who would be unlucky enough to end up with him this time.

"Can we choose our own partner?" A girl asked, her voice quiet and tentative as if she didn't want to give the teacher the idea she was hoping the answer would be yes.

The class held their breaths in wait for the answer. The teacher's simple yes or no answer would determine what happened next. If she said yes it would be a chaotic scramble to pair up, a race not to be the last person left without a partner. Because of course the last person to find a partner would end up with Janus.

"No," She said, and now all the class could do was hope, "I’ve bade a list of your partner assignments, please find your name on here and move to sit next to your partner,"

Janus just stayed where he was. He couldn't see the list without his glasses anyway and whoever was his partner would come and sit next to him eventually, probably after asking the teacher if they could switch. Meanwhile Janus looked down at the sheets in front of him, trying to work out though blurry vision and painful scars what the hell they had been learning about.

"Hey," Someone said, sitting down next to him, "You're Janus, right? I'm your partner,"

Janus just hummed, he didn't bother to look up, if he waited long enough maybe his partner would just give up and decide to get on with it by themself.

"Um- I don't think we've ever talked before, but I'm Roman, Prince," He said, Janus' head snapped up and he blinked rapidly, hoping his eyes would actually give him a clearer picture for omce. It really was Roman, honestly fuck him. The universe really seemed to hate him today, "Nice to meet you?"

"Oh won't this be fun," Janus said quietly, he didn't have the energy to muster his usual snippy tone, push him away, his brain said, there's no point in even trying, "Stuck with the class pretty-boy,"

"You will have a month to complete the project," The teacher announced, interrupting whatever taunt or jab Roman probably had prepared for him, a month, seriously? "And I expect you to work with your partner outside of class for this project, I will not be giving you time during classes after today to work on this,"

"Fantastic," Janus said, completely deadpan, he could already hear whispers from other pairs, people pitying Roman for getting stuck with him, but Roman didn't seem to notice in the slightest, he simply placed a notebook on the table and grabbed a pen- a sparkly red glitter gel pen with a plume of tinsel coming from the top- before turning to him again.

"So… any ideas of what we could do?" Roman asked, looking at him with a smile, it was sweet of him to try, Janus thought. He'd give up eventually, just like anyone else.

"I totally know exactly what we're supposed to be doing right now," Janus answered, hand subconsciously going to scratch at the spot by his ear where scar tissue met skin. He grimaced when a nail caught on the rough skin, causing a sharp yanking pain and suddenly he was once again reminded of why he wasn't supposed to scratch the scars. He picked up a pen and began to twirl it instead.

"We're making a project in the format of our choice based around Macbeth," Roman explained with a little bit of a laugh in his voice, Janus sighed, it sounded like a lot of work- and it meant that Janus would actually have to read the Shakespeare play, damn, "So… any ideas of what we could do? It doesn't seem very limited, as long as it's based on the play, so…"

"Nope, no ideas at all," Janus said, flicking his pen effortlessly over his fingers now. He did have an idea or two, but he really didn't feel like sharing, just thinking about Roman made him want to shrivel up and die, let alone being open towards the guy.

"Oh- well that's ok," Roman said with a smile that Janus was certain was forced, even though he couldn’t see, any smile directed at him was usually forced, "Hey- um- here, I'll give you my phone number so we can work out a time to work on this ok?"

"Right," Janus said, taking the paper Roman offered him a moment later. He only fumbled a little bit.

"So I thought it would be fun to do something creative! Like.. we could rewrite the script but modernised! Or- hm- what if we filmed it like a movie?"

"We have a month to do this and you expect us, two highschoolers with zero experience, one of whom can barely move at the best of times, to be able to make a whole movie?" Janus asked, staring at Roman in genuine shock. He shrugged.

"I don't see why not!" He huffed, and, ok, so this guy was delusional, Janus could… probably work with that? "Unless you don't like the idea of course, I believe we could do it,"

"Alright sure, say I was ok with this completely rational idea, where the hell would we film it? On what equipment?" Janus said, glaring at him.

"Well…" Roman said, thinking, "Me and you would obviously act- and don't say you can't act because I've seen you in drama, you do well when you're not paired with someone who's an asshole,"

Janus just stared at him, Roman actually knew he existed? Let alone remember him?

"I could find somewhere for us to film, we just need some kind of castle-ish place… maybe we could use a church? And as for filming… I think my dad might have a tripod? We can just use one of our phones or something…"

"I can't believe I'm actually agreeing to this," Janus sighed, "Can't we just make a stupid PowerPoint slide like normal people,"

"We could," Roman said, before smiling, "But that would be dreadfully boring, wouldn't it?"

Janus just hummed and tried to hide a smile. He looked at his notebook, going to begin writing down plans for their project before realising that oh yeah, his vision was still too blurry to see anything in enough detail to write legibly. He sighed and looked back over at Roman, who was still watching him.

"Is everything alright?" Roman asked, he must've noticed Janus pause.

"I'm fine," Janus said, on instinct at this point, closing his book, "We should plan in your notebook,"

"Oh, ok!" Roman said, shrugging as he turned to a new page in his notebook, flicking the lid off of his gel pen and writing, in big enough letters to make out "Macbeth The Movie" in swirling fancy cursive the middle of the page and underlining it. Underneath he wrote some more things, but Janus couldn't make them out.

"You do realise this play is five acts long, don't you?" Janus asked as Roman scribbled down some more stuff on the next page, before looking up.

"Yeah? So?" Roman asked.

"It has over two hours of runtime," Janus said slowly, hoping to guide Roman into realising what an immense and stupid project this would be.

"And?"

"Hollywood films of the same length can take years to film," Janus reasoned, talking slowly.

"We can do this, Janus!" Roman said firmly, determination in his voice, "No need to be so gloomy! We're not Hollywood, we don't need fancy costumes or scriptwriting or anything! It won't take as long as that!"

"Your endless optimism already astounds me…." Janus muttered, beginning to pack away his things. “I suppose we can try, at least.”

"Just text me," Roman said with a smile that, for some reason, seemed genuine, "We can meet up later to plan this out properly,"

Janus just nodded as the bell rang before standing up and heading for the door, silently praying that he wouldn't be tripped again, not here, not in front of his stupid stupid crush who for some reason was actually being nice to him

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