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catboymccartney · 1 year

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ok uhhh the dio + jotaro playlists r "done" [have enough songs for me to be satisfied to post them LOL. more songs to be add ofc] i'm gonna list the polnareff playlist i have too since i never did that <3 all my playlists are songs that define them but i also try to go for what they'd listen to as well :-]!!

DIO - 25 songs

Confetti - Cold Cave

The Man Who Sailed Around His Soul - XTC

How Soon Is Now? - The Smiths

Seconds - The Human League

Cities In Dust - Siouxsie and the Banshees

Dreams Never End - New Order

Love Like Blood - Killing Joke

Seattle - Public Imagine Ltd.

Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode

All We Ever Wanted Was Everything - Bauhaus

Happy - Red Lorry Yellow Lorry

My Possession - Ministry

Tasting Static - Panther Modern

Smells Blood - Kensuke Ushio

Exces de Vitesse - Marie Davidson

Bela Lugosi's Dead - Bauhaus

Wax And Wane - Cocteau Twins

Lucretia My Reflection - Sisters Of Mercy

It's A Sin - Petshop Boys

Master And Servant - Depeche Mode

Seedy Films - Soft Cell

Liebe Auf Den Ersten Blick - DAF

This Night Has Opened My Eyes - The Smiths

The Passion of Lovers - Bauhaus

Transmission - Joy Division

JOTARO - 32 songs

We All Stand - New Order

Don't Fall - The Chameleons

Eighties - Killing Joke

Imagination - Sad Lovers & Giants

Sub-culture - New Order

Mad World - Tears For Fears

Dazzle - Siouxsie and the Banshees

Second Skin - The Chameleons

Black Celebration - Depeche Mode

Decades - Joy Division

Leave Me Alone - New Order

Dead Souls - Joy Division

A Means to an End - Joy Division

Shadowplay - Joy Division

Lazy Calm - Cocteau Twins

One Way Or Another - Blondie

Creep - Radiohead

Geography I - Front 242

Life Goes On - The Damned

Run Away [The Escape Song] - Oingo Boingo

But Not Tonight - Depeche Mode

Blanket Song - Kikagaku Moyo

Dear Prudence - Siouxsie and the Banshees

The Damned - Plasmatics

Dead Man's Party - Oingo Boingo

Just Another Day - Oingo Boingo

Disorder - Joy Division

Assimilate - Skinny Puppy

Our Lady - Executive Slacks

Anywhere Out of the World - Dead Can Dance

POLNAREFF - 56 songs

Little Lamb Dragonfly - Wings

She Wolf - Shakira [joke]

Hips Don't Lie - Shakira [joke]

Part Of Me - Katy Perry [joke]

Iris's Song [Version Two] - Vashti Bunyan

She Wants Me [To Be Loved] - The Happy Fits

Michelle - The Beatles

Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles

Dancing Queen - ABBA

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! [A Man After Midnight] - ABBA

You Gave Me The Answer - Wings

Hold Me Tight - The Beatles

When I'm Sixty Four - The Beatles

Coming Up - Paul McCartney

We're Off You Know - Klaatu

Take A Chance On Me - ABBA

Honey, Honey - ABBA

Walking on Sunshine - Katrina & The Waves

Aujourd'hui c'est les vacances - Petit Fantome

Pour que tu m'aimes encore - Les soeurs Bouley

With A Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles

Funky Town - Lipps Inc.

Don't Go Breaking My Heart - Elton John & Kiki Dee

Come On Eileen - Dexys Midnight Runners

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da - The Beatles

Crocodile Rock - Elton John

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Wham!

Good Day Sunshine - The Beatles

La vie en rose - Louis Armstrong

Fernando - ABBA

9 to 5 - Dolly Parton

You Spin Me Round [Like A Record] - Dead Or Alive

I'm Coming Out - Diana Ross

Junk - Paul McCartney

Careless Whisper - George Michael

[Just Like] Starting Over - John Lennon

Listen To What The Man Said - Wings

In The Summertime - Mungo Jerry

It Only Takes A Moment - Michael Crawford

Somebody Made For Me - Emitt Rhodes

My Way - Frank Sinatra

Promises I've Made - Emitt Rhodes

Someplace Else - George Harrison

Heaven Is A Place On Earth - Belinda Carlisle

Love Me, Please Love Me - Michel Polnareff

Sous quelle etoile suis-je ne? - Michel Polnareff

Last Christmas - Wham!

Beautiful Night - Paul McCartney

The Winner Takes It All - ABBA

I've Just Seen A Face - The Beatles

Believe - Cher

I'll Be Back Up on My Feet - The Monkees

I Get Around - The Beach Boys

Felicita, ta ta - Raffaella Carra

Who Feelin' It - Tom Tom Club

#jotaro kujo #dio brando #jean pierre polnareff #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #catboymccartney #rambling from a cool person

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fierysword · 2 years

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Orthodox Christian icons of Sophia (Lady Wisdom) side-by-side with modern depictions by Eileen McGuckin.

O Wisdom, Who came out of the mouth of the Most High, reaching from end to end, resolutely and sweetly ordering all things: come and teach us the way of prudence.

In the void, before all beginnings, when only was God, A darkness mightier than the light came into flame. It blew, as breath must from that mouth of the Highest One.

A breath so sweet as then it honeyed creations' stars And warmed the love that God was showing In the Word and Spirit blowing.

God thought: 'Is this a void?'

Then Wisdom spoke: 'Not this, it is a darling night, a spreading horizon, It is good, so good'.

'Let it be so!' said God, 'let it be so!'

And so it was, for She, Wisdom is the Christ to come, Who though in Word and Flesh descended, Still now is wanted in the haunts of humankind!

For we hesitate before the light, Fear the understanding and the truth, And yet we yearn for Her, Agia Sophia, Christ our Mother and our teacher!

Source: (x)

For us all it is a timely reminder that God is neither male nor female, that in the Risen Christ we see the sundering of types and divisions enabling us to transcend our own petty notions about points of difference and in God's Wisdom begin to see a greater whole, which will also be ours, when we will be united in Christ.

#sophia #lady wisdom #sophia art #jesus Sophia #prayers to sophia #divine feminine in christianity #wisdom #christ as mother #darkness #the ineffable #resurrected christ #fav art #scrolls

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slikstkls · 3 years

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DESTIEL WEDDING PARTY

Dean: Groom

Castiel: Groom

Sam: Walks Dean down the aisle

Eileen: Officient

Jack: Flower Girl

Charlie: Dean’s best man (gender neutral)

Miracle: Ring Bearer

Claire: Bridesmaid

Kaia: Bridesmaid

Alex: Bridesmaid

Prudence: Bridesmaid

Jo: Bridesmaid

Ash: Bridesmaid

Balthasar: Cas’s best man

Crowley: Drunk petty ex

Jody, Donna, Mary, Ellen (mother’s of the groom)

Bobby: father of the groom

John: Not Invited.

#deancas #destiel #spnfamily #supernatural #deanwinchtser #castiel #destiel wedding

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jsctens · 5 years

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one summer can change everything // a stranger things 3 playlist

baba o’riley / girls just want to have fun / everybody wants to rule the world / take on me / don’t you (forget about me) / under pressure / girls on film / head over heels / the time of my life / come on eileen / tell me when my light turns green / scrawny / warm glow / don’t stop me now / greek tragedy / i want to feel alive / blood / undercover martyn / it’s not living (if it’s not with you) / black and white / valerie loves me / here comes your man / what i like about you / a thousand suns / very loud / home / let the sun in / cell / ya hey / age of consent / tongue tied / could it be another change / edge of seventeen / this charming man / rock the casbah / blister in the sun / el sorcho / temptation / bizarre love triangle / geno / heroes / kids / dear prudence / new york city / hungry heart / just like heaven / simple season / i’m good / you / shine a light / starlight / you get what you give / never enough / wake me up before you go-go / sucker / vertigo / 8teen / hometown / it’s only right

#hope yall enjoy this!!!!!!#i really did type out the entire track list fkhaff #music #st3 #stranger things #stranger things 3

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sofrpc · 5 years

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⌖*ﾟ— 400 UNIQUE AND UNDERUSED FEMALE NAMES

in honor of returning to the rpc, i have created a masterlist of 400 unique and underused female names ! these are all listed in alphabetical order, and although i dont claim any of these as my own, please don’t copy and paste straight into another masterlist. feel free to use the names in any way you like, i hope this gives you muse for your characters (my faves are bolded) — also smash that like or reblog if you found this useful, thank you !

aliyah, acacia, adabelle, adair, adelie, adelina, adley, adrienne, ainsley, alana, alaska, alessia, alfie, allora, amanita, amara, ambrosia, amelie, ambrosia, analia, anastasia, andrea, aneka, angelica, ana-marie, ana-sofia, anthea, ariel, arielle, arizona, asteria, astrid, atlanta, auburn, audrey, aurelia, aurora, autumn, avalee, avanelle, avery, aviana, axa

baila, bailey, baize, bambi, bardot, barry, beatrix, bee, benilde, bethia, beverly, bexley, billie, bindi, birdie, blake, blanche, blaze, blossom, blue, bonita, bonnie, braelyn, brielle, brinley, brinx, brona, bronte, brooke, bryce

cailin, calla, camila, camille, carmen, catalina, cecilia, celine, celestia, chanel, chantelle, chelsea, cheryl, claire, clara, claudia, clea, cleo, colette, corine, courtney, cynthia

dahlia, dakota, darlene, darodah, dawn, deidra, delaney, delilah, denise, desiree, destiny, dinah, dove, dylan

eden, effie, eileen, eiza, electra, elena, elise, ellie, elodie, eloise, elora, ember, emerson, esme, estelle, evelyn, evolee

farah, farren, faye, felicity, fern, finley, fleur, florence, frankie, freya, frieda

gaia, galiena, genie, gia, gianna, gigi, gisela, giselle, genesis, grecia, greer, greta, gwendolyn

hadlee, harlow, harlee, harlyn, harper, hayden, hazel, helena, heidi, holland

ida, ileana, imogen, indianna, indie, inessa, ingrid, inna, iris, irene, isabel, isadora, isla, ivana, ivory, ivy

jacinta, jadelyn, jamie, jamilla, jaylah, jenna, jersey, jocelyn, jodie, jolene, jordyn, juliana, july, juniper, juno

kaia, kalina, kalani, karina, katherine, kaya, kaylee, keegan, kelby, kelsey, kendall, kendra, kenna, kiara, kimberly, kinsley, kristina, kyra

lara, laurel, layla, leia, leighton, leilani, lena, lesley, leona, leticia, liberty, liliane, lilo, loraine, lorelei, lori, london, lorena, lucia, luisa, lumi, luna, lynn

maeve, maize, malia, marcella, mariana, marissa, margot, marisol, marjorie, marlene, matilde, mavis, mazikeen, melodie, merlia, micah, mikaela, mila, milena, miriam, mirielle, mona, myrsina

nadia, nadine, naomi, naressa, nathalia, naya, neila, neo, nicola, nikita, noelle, nora, nova, nur, nyla, nyx

octavia, odelia, odina, olena, olita, olive, olivia, olympia, opal, ophelia, oriana, orion, orla, orlena

paige, paislee, pandora, pearle, penelope, pepper, perrie, petra, peyton, phoebe, pilar, pip, piper, pippa, priscilla, priya, prudence

queenie, quella, quinn, quinta

raffa, rana, raven, regina, remi, rhea, rhiannon, river, robin, rome, rosabelle, rosalie, rosalyn, rosette, rowan

sable, sadie, sage, sahar, salem, samira, saoirse, saskia, savannah, scout, selina, serafin, seraphina, shani, shenae, sia, siobhan, sloane, solene, solstice, sonya, summer, suri, sydney, sylvia

tamara, tana, tasmin, tasha, tatiana, teagan, tessa, thalia, thea, tilda, toni, tove, tricia, trixie, tuesday

udelle, ulani, uri, urma, ursa

valerie, valentina, valentine, venus, vera, verona, vivian

weslyn, whitney, willa, willow, winnie, wynona, wynter

xahlia, xana, xandra, xanthi, xena, xylia

yara, yasmine, yana, yani, ysabel, yvette, yvonne

zada, zahara, zara, zariah, zaylee, zeina, zelda, zelena, zeriah, zoelle, zuri

#names masterlist #female names masterlist #name masterlist #masterlist #rph #my masterlist #mine #mine: masterlist

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greektrgcdy · 5 years

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Under the cut you’ll find 675 FEMININE NAMES all compiled by me !! I will most likely be updating this and my other lists at some point and would be more than willing to post more specific lists if anyone wants them !! Please like or reblog if this was helpful !!

Abilene, Acacia, Ada, Adalia, Adalind, Adelina, Adeline, Adela, Adele, Adriana, Agnes, Aimee, Aislinn, Aja, Alana, Alba, Alessia, Alexa, Alexandra, Alexandria, Alexandrine, Aliyah, Allora, Alma, Almira, Althea, Alva, Amber, Amabel, Amara, Amelie, Amethyst, Amina, Anastasia, Antoinette, Andromeda, Anika, Anissa, Annabel, Annabel-Lee, Anne, Annette, Annie, Anniston, Appoline, Apollinia, Apollonia, Ara, Arabella, Araminta, Ariadne, Ariana, Arianne, Ariella, Asena, Astra, Astrid, Athena, Audrey, Audrina, Autumn, Aurelia, Aurora, Austen, Ava, Avalee, Avalon, Averill, Aviana, Ayla, Aylee, Azalea, Azaria.

Bambi, Bardot, Beatrice, Beatrix, Becky, Bee, Bellatrix, Belle, Benedette, Benilde, Bernadette, Bess, Beth, Betsey, Beverly, Bexley, Bijou, Bindie, Birdie, Blair, Blossom, Bluebell, Blythe, Bonnie, Brenna, Bria, Briar, Bridget, Briella, Brielle, Brinley, Bristol, Brooke, Bronwyn, Buffy.

Cadence, Calla, Callie, Callista, Camila, Camille, Cara, Cariad, Carmen, Carol, Carolina, Caroline, Carolyn, Carrie, Cassandra, Cassiopeia, Cecilia, Cecily, Celeste, Celestia, Celine, Chanel, Charity, Charlotte, Cher, Cherie, Cheryl, Cheyenne, Chloe, Claire, Clara, Clarity, Claudia, Claudine, Clea, Cleo, Clover, Colette, Colleen, Constance, Connie, Copeland, Cora, Coral, Coralia, Coraline, Cordelia, Coretta, Corinna, Corinne, Corisande, Corliss, Cornelia, Corvina, Cosette, Cressida, Cynthia, Cyra.

Dahlia, Dahliana, Daisy, Damara, Dara, Darcy, Darla, Darlene, Daphne, Davina, Dawn, Dee, Delia, Delilah, Delphi, Delphine, Denise, Desiree, Desdemona, Desi, Destiny, Diana, Diane, Dinah, Dixie, Dolly, Dorothea, Dorothy, Dot, Drusilla.

Eadlyn, Eartha, Eden, Edie, Edina, Edith, Effie, Eileen, Elara, Eleanor, Eleanora, Elena, Eliana, Elisabeth, Elise, Elizabeth, Ella, Elle, Elodie, Eloise, Elowen, Elora, Elsie, Emalyn, Embla, Emilia, Emma, Emmeline, Emmy, Enid, Eponine, Erica, Erin, Esme, Estelle, Esther, Ethel, Ettie, Everly, Eva, Evangeline, Evanora, Evelina, Evelyn, Everly, Evita, Eyre.

Fae, Faith, Fallon, Fancy, Fannie, Fantine, Farah, Fawn, Faye, Felicity, Fern, Francine, Fran, Finnea, Fleur, Flora, Florence, Francesca, Franny, Frankie, Frida, Freya, Fyodora.

Gabriella, Gaia, Gail, Garbo, Gardenia, Gemma, Geneva, Geneve, Genevieve, Gennifer, Georgeanne, Georgia, Gia, Giana, Gigi, Gillian, Gina, Ginevra, Ginger, Ginny, Giordana, Giovanna, Gisele, Guilieta, Guilia, Guiliana, Gladys, Glenda, Glinda, Gloriana, Glory, Goldie, Goldeheve, Grace, Gracelyn, Gracie, Greer, Greta, Gretchen, Griselda, Guinevere, Gwenora, Gwendolyn, Gwenny.

Hadley, Haddie, Hadiya, Halle, Hallie, Halston, Hanna, Hannah, Harmony, Harper, Harriet, Hattie, Hazel, Helen, Helena, Heloise, Henrietta, Henna, Hera, Hermia, Hermione, Hester, Hettie, Holly, Honey, Honora, Hope.

Ida, Ilana, Ilyana, Imogen, Indie, Inessa, Ingrid, Iphegenia, Iris, Irene, Isabeau, Isabella, Isabelle, Isla, Isobel, Isolde, Ivana, Ivory, Ivy.

Jacinta, Jackie, Jada, Jade, Jane, Janie, Jasey, Jasey-Rae, Jeana, Jeanie, Jedda, Jennifer, Jennie, Jenny, Jessa, Jessamine, Johanna, Jolene, Jolie, Joplin, Josie, Josephine, Journey, Joy, Judith, Judy, Julia, Julie, Juliet, Juniper, Juno.

Kaia, Kalani, Kara, Karen, Karolina, Kate, Kathleen, Katherine, Kayla, Kaylee, Kedzie, Keely, Kelby, Kelsey, Kendra, Kenna, Kennedy, Kiara, Kimberly, Kinsley, Kitty, Kristina, Kyra.

Laela, Lara, Laura, Laurel, Lauren, Lavinia, Leah, Leia, Leila, Lena, Lenora, Leonora, Letitia, Liana, Liberty, Lila, Lilo, Lilia, Lilith, Lily, Lindsey, Livia, Lois, Lola, Loretta, Loral, Lorelei, Lorena, Lorraine, Lottie, Lovisa, Lucia, Lucille, Lucy, Ludovica, Luna, Lulu, Lumi, Lux, Lydia, Lynn, Lyra.

Macy, Madeleine, Maia, Mae, Maeve, Maggie, Magnolia, Malia, Marcella, Maren, Margaret, Margot, Martha, Maria, Marie, Marigold, Marilyn, Marina, Marissa, Marisol, Marlene, Marnie, Mary, Matilda, Maude, Maureen, Maxine, Meadow, Melody, Melinda, Mercy, Merritt, Mia, Michelle, Millicent, Minerva, Minnie, Mira, Miriam, Moira, Molly, Mona, Morrigan.

Nadia, Nadine, Nancy, Naomi, Narcissa, Naressa, Natalia, Natalie, Naya, Nellie, Nettie, Nia, Nicola, Nicole, Nicoletta, Nikita, Nina, Nikki, Noelle, Norah, Nova, Nyla.

Oara, Octavia, Odette, Odessa, Odyssesia, Odilia, Odina, Olita, Olive, Olivia, Olympia, Olwen, Opal, Ophelia, Oona, Orelia, Oriana, Orla, Orlena, Orpha, Ottoline, Ovalia.

Paige, Paisley, Pam, Pamela, Pandora, Patricia, Pearl, Peggy, Penelope, Petra, Persephone, Phoebe, Piper, Pippa, Pixie, Priscilla, Priya, Prudence, Polly, PollyAnna, Poppy, Posey.

Raina, Ravena, Regina, Rey, Rhea, Rhiannon, Romilly, Romy, Rosa, Rosalie, Rosemary, Rowena, Roxanne, Ruby, Ruth, Ruthie.

Sabrina, Sadie, Safiya, Sally, Samantha, Samara, Samira, Sara, Sarah, Savannah, Scarlett, Selene, Serafine, Seraphina, Serena, Sia, Sienna, Sierra, Siobhan, Skye, Sofia, Sophia, Sophie, Soleil, Solstice, Sonya, Sookie, Stella, Sylvia.

Talia, Tamara, Tana, Tamsin, Tatiana, Tessa, Thea, Theresa, Theodosia, Tiara, Tiffany, Tilda, Tina, Tinsley, Toria, Topanga, Trinity, Truly, Twyla.

Uma, Una, Ursula, Uta.

Vada, Vaia, Vara, Valentina, Valerie, Venus, Vera, Verity, Veronica, Victoria, Viola, Violet, Virginia, Vivette, Vivian.

Waverly, Weslyn, Wendy, Whitney, Winona, Winnie, Winnifred, Willa, Willow, Winter.

Xahlian, Xana, Xandra, Xelis, Xena, Ximena.

Yara, Yasmine, Yvette, Yvonne.

Zada, Zahara, Zara, Zariah, Zena, Zelda, Zelena, Zoe, Zola, Zophia, Zuri.

#rph #rpc #rpt #name help #character name masterlist #*name help #*masterlist #*mine

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escaping-worries · 5 years

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What songs remind you of Grant?

Off the top of my head:

City of Stars - Ryan Gosling and Emma StoneThing Called Love - Johnny Cash She’s Always a Woman - Billy Joel Come on Eileen - Dexy Midnight Runners Cigarette Daydreams - Cage the Elephant Mardy Bum - Arctic MonkeysBaby I’m Yours - Arctic Monkeys Sweet Dreams, TN - The Last Shadow PuppetsStand By Me - Ben E King Tonight You Belong To Me - Patience and PrudenceNew Year’s Day - Taylor Swift Cosmic Love - Florence and the Machine

There will be a whole load more but I woke up like twenty minutes ago and this is where I’m at xxx

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ellanainthetardis · 6 years

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Hayffie discuss heavy things today! I hope you will enjoy this chapter! (assuming people are still reading lmao)

[ff] or [ao3]

56. 7 Months & 19 Weeks

April let out a small whine at the next boom of thunder and Effie automatically ran her hand up and down her back to soothe her.

“Shh, darling… There is nothing to be afraid about.” she hummed. “Hush, little baby don’t you cry… Mama’s gonna sing you a lullaby…”

She kept on singing softly but April didn’t really calm down.

The lighting storm was bad and Effie honestly didn’t know how Haymitch was sleeping through it. She had been awake and staring at the wall, trying not to flinch with every new roar of thunder, long before she had heard April stirring through the baby monitor. She had reached the nursery before the girl had started wailing but it had been a close thing. Snowball too had been awake, pacing around the crib, not quite at ease.

She had hesitated, of course, mindful of the doctor’s recommendations about picking her up. But when April had gripped the crib’s bars tight and hauled herself up, not quite understanding why her mother wasn’t offering the comfort she needed, Effie had given up on prudence and had lifted her up in her arms. She had been careful about it but she had felt much better once her daughter had been nestled against her chest, her little head tucked under her chin.

She had gone downstairs to let Haymitch rest and had settled on the couch with the throw away blanket. Now April was sitting on her stretched legs, Snowball was curled up in his bed next to the roaring fireplace and Effie had a front row seat to the lightning storm outside.

“Do you know you were born on a night like this?” Effie smiled at April, picking up the pacifier the girl had just spat, watching her as she rubbed the cat rag doll against her face, betraying how tired she was. She didn’t want to lie down though. Every time Effie settled her against her, her daughter wriggled and rolled back to a sitting position. “Thunder can be scary but it can bring good things too, you see?”

It would bring nothing good to the District. December wasn’t yet as harsh as it had been the previous year but there had been a few snow falls already and the violent rain would transform Twelve into a giant mud pit. The faint honking of the geese in the distance told her the birds weren’t any happier about the weather than her daughter and her dog were but she estimated that if they could survive a blizzard in their pen, they could live through a lightning storm. She would have gone and checked if she had been truly worried but she really didn’t want to get wet just because Haymitch’s birds were getting nervous.

“Look how beautiful the sky is, darling…” she insisted, turning April a little to the right so she could see through the window over the edge of the couch. The dark night sky was regularly struck by a flash of lightning that allowed her to see the whole street as if it was daytime. It only lasted a second, then she only had time to count to five before thunder boomed. “The storm is over our heads…”

Or it would be really soon.

The lamp she had turned on kept flickering and she was quite sure electricity would give in before the end of the night. It was a recurrent problem in Twelve.

April didn’t like the sight. She let out a sound of protest and plummeted forward. Effie caught her and broke her fall before she could hit her stomach. The almost eight months old baby wasn’t the only one who wasn’t liking the storm. Effie hauled her up closer to her chest, letting her snuggle, and rubbed her round belly with her free hand, hoping to soothe the relentless kicking that had begun a few minutes earlier.

She smiled when she realized she could feel the hits under her palm and automatically strained her neck to look in the direction of the dark corridor. Haymitch would have liked to feel Aidan but she didn’t want to make the trip up the stairs and she wasn’t sure she wanted to wake him up either.

Ever since Larcher had told them about her condition… Haymitch was impossible.

She knew he meant well and she had expected him to become overprotective but… Well, she wasn’t sure she would be able to bear four months and a half more of this. He was constantly looking over her shoulder, barely ever leaving her side – she had been forced to slam the bathroom door in his face more than once – cautioning her to be careful every time she did something else than lie on the couch or their bed. The other day, she had begged Katniss to take him and Snowball to the woods just so she could breathe.

Katniss, who understood the need for some alone time all too well, had been good enough to not only drag a kicking and screaming Haymitch away but to keep him there for a couple of hours. Peeta had refused to leave her alone in the house – just in case – but had stuck to the kitchen, leaving her upstairs by herself, free to do whatever she had wished.

She felt like a prisoner in her own home.

Eileen visited her now and then but between the coffee shop, the weather and her own children, her visits were unfortunately short and few in between.

Since she wasn’t allowed to do the laundry – a task that had been delegated to Peeta because Haymitch couldn’t be trusted not to shrink everything or turn it pink – or the cleaning – that was now Katniss’ chore, and Effie was too polite to say anything but she was desperate to be more thorough than the girl – and had basically been forbidden to do anything judged taxing, all she could do was sit and busy herself sketching clothes or knitting or sewing.

She loved doing those things but it used to be a hobby and now it was something she did to not go crazy with inactivity. Even her time with April was under scrutiny. Someone was always popping their head in the room to make sure she wasn’t overdoing it or doing something that could be dangerous for her or the baby she was carrying.

She sighed and placed her hand on the back of her daughter’s head.

“They will drive me insane long before this baby is born.” she told her very seriously. April wriggled and rolled again so Effie helped her sit up once more, pursing her lips at her. “You should really try to sleep now. You will be a very cranky girl tomorrow.” She got a sharp noise in answer and a long stride of gibberish nonsense that made her smile. “Can you say Mama? Ma-ma…”

It was too early for that probably but April seemed to be a master at “ba-bla-bah” noises and it really wasn’t that far in sound…

April wasn’t really interested in learning to talk though. She brought the rag doll to her mouth to suck on it and Effie quickly took it away to replace it with the pacifier. “Don’t do that. It is filthy. The cat is for cuddles, not for chewing.”

Unconcerned with her rebukes, her daughter sucked on the pacifier, coiling her small fingers around her wrist with surprising strength. Effie was always surprised at how strong she could be. Thunder boomed and April startled badly. Her grip on Effie’s arm tightened when she let out a sharp cry, the pacifier falling from her mouth yet again.

“It’s alright, darling.” Effie promised, wiping the tears from her daughter’s cheeks and making soothing noises. “Mama’s here. Mama’s here.” After a few minutes, April calmed down enough to accept the pacifier back but she was clearly sulking. Effie bumped her playfully on the nose with the rag doll, relinquishing the toy when the baby grabbed it to cuddle. “Mama will always be here, darling. Always.”

One of her hands left April’s hips to rest on her stomach and she briefly closed her eyes.

At least, I hope so, she thought.

She had read everything that were in the books about her condition and she couldn’t say she was reassured by the knowledge it wasn’t an uncommon thing. She had never heard of placenta praevia before but according to the books, it wasn’t that surprising. They were more common in pregnancies that were close together so it made sense that it would be a thing in the Districts where protection had never been available. Pregnancies in the Districts also often resulted in still-born babies, miscarriages and dead mothers. Before the war, at least. Things were better now.

Still, it was a risky pregnancy. A few books advised abortion if it was too serious and if it was detected soon enough.

They hadn’t discussed it – they hadn’t discussed the situation properly since coming back from the clinic – but she supposed Haymitch had read the same things she had and that it was why he was so frayed with worry. She suspected he hardly slept. When she woke up in the morning, he was always lying next to her, watching her wistfully. He ran around the house all day, either trying to make himself useful by taking care of April or fetching things Effie hadn’t requested and didn’t need in a self-professed quest to make her feel better.

He was trying to hide his shaking hands from her but she had noticed the tremors and the headaches. She knew what it meant. She wished he would tell her when he was struggling with the urge to drink but she knew better than confronting him about it.

They were both trying to avoid or delay a fight that seemed to her inevitable.

“If… If I have to leave you, April…” she whispered, not quite sure why she was saying that at all. It felt like bad luck to think about it. But she also knew firsthand how fragile life was and… “You have to know I fought as hard as I could to stay. I love you so much…” She sighed and dropped her head against the back of the couch, barely hearing the next boom of thunder. “I would die for you, you know. In a heartbeat. And I would die for your brother too. And… And it might not be fair but I know you will be alright because your papa will be here to take care of you, of both of you and…”

Her eyes filled with tears that she blinked away.

The idea that she might not be able to see April grow up, to even see Aidan at all… It was too much. Not only unfair but suffocating because of how painful it was.

She didn’t know if she was being overdramatic or not. The children and Haymitch’s behavior didn’t help. She felt on borrowed time, frail and breakable. The knowledge that a C-section was surely waiting at the end of the road was hard to bear. The prospect of staying in a hospital again…

She had faced death before. She had been desperate for it at times. But right then… Right then dying terrified her more than it had ever done.

“I’m gonna fall apart if I lose you.”

The words were delivered in a quiet matter-of-fact voice just behind her and she startled badly. April, at least, seemed happy for it, she outstretched a grabby hand in her father’s direction, making becoming noises around her pacifier, her wish clear.

“No, you won’t.” she countered while Haymitch stepped around the couch to join them. He sat next to her and held their daughter’s hand. “You will take care of the children.”

“I’ll drown in a bottle.” he retorted in an angry growl. “I won’t off myself ‘cause, yeah, there are the kids to think about, provide for. But I sure as hell know myself, sweetheart. I lose you, I fall apart.”

“Haymitch…” she sighed.

“I mean it.” he snapped. Of course, it was the moment the electricity chose to shut down, leaving them in an ominous darkness. Neither of them did well with darkness. She wasn’t surprised when he stood up to stroke the fire. “You can’t die. That’s behind us. You can’t leave me with two babies and just say I’m gonna be fine ‘cause I need to take care of them. You can’t just opt out. We said we were doing this together, Effie. Together.”

“Well, I certainly never said I wanted or was planning on dying, Haymitch.” she snapped. “I simply said…”

“You said, it comes down to a choice, we need to put the baby first and I say…” he shot back.

“I cannot lose another child.” she cut him off.

“And we cannot lose you.” he spat. “So where does that leave us, sweetheart? You tell me.”

“Hopefully, with both the baby and me healthy and alive.” she deadpanned. She shook her head, distractedly combing her fingers through April’s hair when she startled at another round of thunder. “I do not want to die, Haymitch. But, yes, if it comes down to a choice between the baby and me…”

“No.” he scowled.

“He is your child too.” she reminded him, angry on the baby’s behalf.

“You think I don’t know?” he snarled. “You think the thought of losing him doesn’t kill me? You think it’s easy for me to say I’d let our baby die just to save you?” His jaw clenched and he turned away from her. The flames were projecting strange shadows on his face and she couldn’t read his features. “I need you, Effie. The kids need you. We can survive without this boy, we can’t survive without you. It’s just the clever choice to make. It’s the only…”

“This isn’t the Hunger Games, Haymitch.” she interrupted again.

How many times had they done that? Had that particular conversation? Always in the dead of night as if it would make it easier, usually in front of the bay window with a bottle of whiskey for him and a cigarette for her. It had always been a debate, sometimes just for the sake of it, because they both felt choosing which tribute to favor warranted it, when they had both already known which child had the best chance of making it – and often both agreed that neither of them would last more than five minutes.

He flinched. “I know.”

“Do you?” she wondered.

He was silent for a long moment and then his shoulders slouched. “I can’t lose you. Don’t ask me to.”

“I am not asking you to.” she breathed out. “I want to live. Don’t you think I want to live? I won’t lie to you, it hasn’t always been like that. There were days…” She shook her head, not needing to remind him the state she had been in when she had first come to Twelve. “I want to live, Haymitch. So badly. I want to see my children grow up and have babies of their own. I want… I want to dance with you at Katniss and Peeta’s wedding. I want to grow old with you. I want so many things…”

Haymitch walked back to the couch slowly and dropped next to her again. April was tired and cranky but once he nestled her between them, with her head on his chest, she calmed down. Effie kept running her fingers in her daughter’s blond hair, listening to the gibberish she babbled around her pacifier.

“It is all very premature anyway.” she declared, trying to sound dismissive but failing. “We do not know what will happen.”

He said nothing. Not for a long time.

April was asleep and she had rested her own head on his shoulder, slowly but steadily drifting off, when he finally spoke. “We need to update our wills.”

“What?” she frowned.

“I hate this.” he grumbled and she knew the only reason he didn’t fidget or kick something was the sleeping baby on his chest. “I fucking hate this but it got me thinking… There’s nothing in our wills about what happens to our kids if we both die or are incapacitated.”

She realized that he was right. “Oh… Well… I do not see why you would…”

“Come on.” he scoffed. “Let’s not pretend I’m gonna stay healthy forever.”

“Haymitch.” she growled.

“Yeah, not so fun to think about the one you love dying, is it?” he taunted but then shook his head. “We should decide. Just in case.”

She pursed her lips and curled up tighter against his side, resting her hand on April’s head. “Alright.”

After a few minutes spent in silence, he snorted. “So? Who’s your first choice? Please, don’t say your family.”

“Of course not.” she scoffed. “I suppose Annie and Johanna come to mind but…”

“They already have Finn.” he finished. “And I’m not sure they can cope with three kids.”

“Exactly.” She made a face. “We would have to ask them and they are awfully young to shoulder such a responsibility and Katniss probably wouldn’t be one hundred percent alright with it but…”

“Yeah.” he said immediately. “The kids are my first choice too.”

“Yes.” she agreed with some relief. It was a very obvious decision and she didn’t know why she had expected that to be more difficult than it was.

She pulled the blankets higher over her, covering his lap and April too. They should all head back to bed, she supposed, keep April in their room if it would make the girl feel better but she didn’t really want to move. The storm was moving on and she found some peace in watching the lightning in the sky.

“I want this baby too, you know.” he said quietly, letting his head drop on top of hers. “Just… I don’t know, sweetheart… We went from being happy to being all… scared in a second and…” He shrugged. “The media circus doesn’t help.”

The press, as was only to be expected, was all over her pregnancy like vultures despite the official statement they had passed along through Plutarch, confirming that Effie was pregnant again and asking them once more to respect their privacy. She hadn’t thought it would work but she had still hoped for some decency.

Some paparazzi were apparently camping in front of her parents’ house, harassing them for information. Her father was forced to call Peacekeepers twice a day.

She resolutely chased her parents from her mind. She hadn’t told them about her problems, knowing her mother would fuss and insist on coming to stay with them. Neither she nor Haymitch would survive that right then.

“I know.” she sighed. “We shouldn’t think about it this way, though. We cannot live in fear for the next five months. We have to be happy and see the bright side… We have a healthy daughter and Doctor Larcher promised me the baby is doing fine for now…”

“Yeah.” he smirked. “True. We should start working on April’s room.”

They had put that on the backburner along with the nursery. They had been living in a sort of limbo for two weeks and it wouldn’t do at all.

“Yes.” she said resolutely. “We will do that. Tomorrow. And we will pick some furniture for the nursery. Mother sent magazines.”

“Alright.” he snorted indulgently. “We’re just gonna… We’re gonna focus on the happy stuff.”

“Exactly.” she grinned. “Speaking of…” She grabbed the hand with which he wasn’t holding April and brought it to her stomach, shifting a little so the angle wasn’t painful for him. “Just wait for it.”

He had to wait five minutes but she knew from her previous pregnancy that he could wait a lot longer to feel a kick. He loved that: feeling the baby kick.

His face lit up when he felt their son for the first time under his palm. Her grin widened.

“Hello, jellyfish.” he murmured, gently rubbing his thumb on her round baby bump.

She chuckled. “See? This is what we should focus on. Happy moments. All those first times…”

“Like April saying Mama for the first time?” he teased. “Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been training her.”

“Like you haven’t been trying to make her say Papa behind my back.” she chuckled. “Do not think you can keep any secret from me, Haymitch. I know you too well.”

She expected a witty retort, some more banter… What she got was an almost brutal kiss that took her breath away.

He licked his lips when he drew back, his grey eyes far too bright.

“Yeah, you do.” he whispered softly.

And because she did, she heard what he wasn’t saying.

Don’t ever leave me, Princess.

It wasn’t a promise she could make but she would certainly try her best not to.

“We will all be fine.” she declared. “You will see. In five months, we will have another baby and we will all fine and this will all feel like bad dream. We have to believe it.”

Blind hope had never been his thing. He was too much of a down-to-earth person for that.

However, he forced a smirk and purposefully stroke her belly with his thumb. “Alright. No more gloomy thoughts.”

She rewarded him with a bright smile and another kiss.

#hayffie #effie trinket #haymitch abernathy #april showers

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