#Rebecca’s spoofs

[littleshopofhorrors-confessions]

I Gave You a UTI from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is an Orin x Audrey song to me

I feel so mean for finding that idea so funny but like c'mon. It's funny. And I could totally see that happening (with a few small adjustments because Orin would not be as empathetic towards Audrey as Greg is to Rebecca)

There's a lot of other songs that work for the Little Shop characters, like Etta Mae's Lament and I'm the Bride of the Pirate King and We Tapped That Ass all Over this House totally remind me of Audrey. I'm halfway convinced that Etta Mae's Lament is actually supposed to be a spoof of both Oklahoma! and Somewhere That's Green (the songs in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend are usually spoofs of other genres/musicals and the main character loves musicals, and this song specifically reads as countryfied!Somewhere That's Green to me with that context. It's about a sex worker who dreams of settling down to be a housewife but, like Audrey, thinks her history will hold her back from that. It's Somewhere That's Green. Also I'm the Bride of the Pirate King could possibly be based on The Worse He Treats Me.)

Anyway everyone needs to watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, it's amazing. It's on Netflix. The title (and premise) make it sound bad but it's not

~~~

[fuckyeahilike]

Every once in a while my mother would sigh about how much she wished she could have a third child, and sort of look longingly at my father, who was always adamant that two were enough.

She wasn't satisfied with the two kids she had who were maladapted because she invested nothing in them. She couldn't grasp why she couldn't quite love these two first borns and she was kinda hoping a third one would be the charm, a child she would at last feel perfectly proud of and would fill whatever gap it was a child was supposed to fill. She didn't understand that narcissists can never feel satisfied.

I think of her when I watch this amazing Mitchell & Webb spoof of Hitchcock's Rebecca, where present day Mrs. de Winter is in a constant competition with... the second Mrs. de Winter. How happy her husband will be with her some day... and then with the third Mrs. de Winter, and then with the fourth Mrs. de Winter, and then... lol.

[cocktailsfairytales]

Start Reading Now: In the Mind of a Spy by Bruce M. Perrin - Spy Thriller / Mystery

Purchase Today: https://mybook.to/IntheMindofASpy

@RABTBookTours #RABTBookTours #IntheMindofASpy #BruceMPerrin #Mystery

When Jesse Bolger ran into an old acquaintance from his high school days, Robert Gleason, he wondered if the man still had an imagination that was unencumbered by reality. His question was answered in the affirmative that evening. After insisting they talk inside his homemade, electronically shielded room so no one could listen to their thoughts—no tinfoil hat was good enough for Robert—he confided that he’d stumbled onto two KGB-era Russian spies intent on destroying the United States. And he wanted Jesse’s help to stop them.

Jesse was certain, of course, that it was just a hoax, but he played along. It didn’t prove to be one of his better decisions, however, as the next thing he knew, he was being detained by the FBI under suspicion that he was a double agent. And where was Robert Gleason, the man who had started this whole fiasco, the unemployed eccentric who lived in his grandmother’s basement in a retirement community while he was learning to talk to self-aware computers? He was nowhere to be found.

Knowing he was out of his league to investigate a missing persons case, Jesse hired private investigator Rebecca Marte, hoping she could unravel a case that one minute looked like a spy spoof and the next, a terrorist plot that would plunge the United States into financial pandemonium.

[bgfilms64]

Today, Zach Callison is 22 years old, so I made another CALLISON poster. Steven Universe (c) Rebecca Sugar Halloween (c) John Carpenter

[eldritch-bf]

Alternatives For "Said" Organized By Emotion: Color Edition

Curated personally by me, straight from my excel doc where I combined several lists I found online AND duplicated words in multiple columns when the word versatile enough for several emotions, something irritated me on other lists. Like, come on Rebecca, "mumbled" can be used with almost every single mood, why are you only sticking it under "sad"?

Link to the black text version.

Neutral

acknowledged added advised agreed announced articulated asserted began called chimed in claimed communicated concluded conferred considered contended continued declared drawled emitted ended enunciated explained expressed held hinted imparted implied insisted mentioned mumbled muttered noted observed orated predicted pronounced put forth quipped recited reckoned related remarked repeated replied responded revealed shared spoke stated suggested supposed told uttered vocalized voiced went on whispered

Annoyed/Rude/Mean/Angry

accused admonished badgered barked bellowed bleated chastised choked complained condemned criticized cursed demanded denied derided disagreed dismissed dodged exploded fumed glowered groaned groused growled grumbled grunted heckled hissed ignored insulted jeered mimicked mocked nagged provoked raged ranted rasped remonstrated reprimanded retorted ridiculed roared scoffed scolded scorned screamed screeched seethed shouted smirked snapped snarled sneered snickered spat swore taunted teased thundered upbraided vociferated whined yelled

Bummed/Sad/Miserable

agonized apologized babbled bawled begged blubbered breathed complained confided cried faltered fretted grieved groaned grunted hesitated lamented mewled moaned mourned mumbled pleaded shrugged sighed sniffled sniveled sobbed stammered stuttered trailed off wailed wept whined whispered

Happy/Humorous/Excited

babbled beamed bubbled chattered cheered chortled chuckled complimented congratulated cried out crooned crowed derided effused exclaimed giggled grinned gushed heckled hollered jabbered jeered joked lampooned laughed mimicked parodied rejoiced ridiculed sang satirized screamed shouted smiled smirked snickered snorted spoofed taunted teased thanked trilled trumpeted yammered yelled

Kind/Comforting

admired approved comforted complimented congratulated consoled empathized grinned gushed invited joked offered praised professed reassured smiled soothed volunteered

Uncertainty/Worry/Fear

babbled blurted cautioned choked doubted faltered gasped gulped hesitated howled keened mumbled murmured muttered panted prayed quaked quavered screamed screeched shrieked squalled squealed stammered stuttered swore trailed off trembled wailed warbled warned wavered whimpered whispered yelled yelped yowled

Asking A Question

asked babbled begged challenged considered contemplated guessed hesitated hinted hypothesized implied inquired interrogated invited mouthed mused pleaded pondered probed proposed queried questioned quizzed repeated requested solicited speculated supposed wondered

Responding To A Question

accepted acknowledged advised affirmed agreed alleged answered assured avowed claimed conceded concluded confided confirmed considered decided denied disagreed disclosed dismissed disseminated divulged dodged explained ignored imparted indicated informed maintained notified offered passed on proffered promised promulgated refused released reported revealed shared specified speculated supposed testified transmitted verified

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

‘Wow, there’s a lot of sex and swearing’: Channel 4’s top-rated drama ever, 30 years on - The Guardian

Partner-swapping, nudity, Felicity Kendal: it’s three decades since raunchy wartime series The Camomile Lawn broke TV ratings records. How does it hold up?

Nice-but-dim nymphos … Jennifer Ehle and Toby Stephens in The Camomile Lawn. Photograph: Moviestore Collection

‘There’s going to be a war! What the heck do Sophy’s knickers matter?” What indeed, Felicity Kendal. This week marks the 30th anniversary of The Camomile Lawn, a bosom-heaving period drama that broke ratings records back in spring 1992. All is fair in love, war and lingerie.

Revisiting it, the hammier-than-Peppa-Pig five-parter often feels like a spoof. And wow, there’s a lot of sex and swearing in it. No wonder it was known as “The Camomile Porn” by the popular press. This is Game of Thrones with gravy-painted legs. Or perhaps Euphoria with a ration book.

All ravishing Cornish coastlines and lip-quivering passion, Channel 4’s starry adaptation of Mary Wesley’s beloved semi-autobiographical novel came as a welcome burst of nostalgic sunshine in PM John Major’s grey, boring Britain. It was written nearly a decade earlier when Wesley was 70 – part of a remarkable burst of creativity in her twilight years. This late bloomer only turned to her typewriter as a way to earn some cash after she was left impoverished by the death of her second husband. She proceeded to bash out 10 bestsellers in the last 20 years of her life.

The sumptuous miniseries was directed by theatre titan Peter Hall – who cast his daughter Rebecca as orphaned Sophy, the soul of the story. It’s an astonishingly accomplished turn from nine-year-old Hall, who radiates star quality in her first professional role. Wesley’s text was faithfully adapted by screenwriter Ken Taylor, who had previously turned Paul Scott’s The Jewel in the Crown into a prime-time blockbuster.

Pulling in more than 7 million viewers, The Camomile Lawn became Channel 4’s top-rated drama ever – a record it still holds, with only robo-thriller Humans and Russell T Davies’s It’s a Sin coming close. At a time when most homes had only four channels, The Camomile Lawn’s potboiler plot and tabloid notoriety meant it attracted one-third of the total TV audience.

The handsome saga traced the intertwining lives of three genteel families. As storm clouds gathered over Europe in 1939, four teenage cousins visited a clifftop country pile in Cornwall for one last idyllic holiday. Their lives, as dramatic convention dictates, would never be the same again.

Wartime sequences were intercut with scenes from a family funeral four decades later, as the characters were reunited at a graveside. But who had died? Who had married who and were they being faithful? Who was a famous novelist and who had grown “fat and respectable”? And who was about to call a fellow mourner the C-word and throw a punch? This was an upmarket soap in the vein of Downton or Bridgerton.

A major draw was the pan-generational ensemble cast. Kendal starred as matriarch Helena Cuthbertson, owner of the enviable Cornish mansion with its eponymous fragrant lawn. It was Helena’s reminiscences in her dotage – with Kendal wearing a ropey wig, even ropier ageing makeup and slugging single malt from a silver hip flask – which framed the story.

Youngsters were played by Jennifer Ehle (the flighty, ludicrously named Calypso) and Toby Stephens (her brooding suitor Oliver), both making their screen debuts. Helena’s harrumphing husband Richard was winningly played by Paul Eddington. A clever piece of casting, since he and Kendal’s characters always had an unrequited vibe in The Good Life. The older Calypso was played by Rosemary Harris, Ehle’s real-life mother. Claire Bloom took over as midlife Sophy.

The family were joined by identical brothers from the local rectory, only ever referred to as “the twins”, along with Max and Monika Erstweiler, a Jewish refugee couple from Austria. Max became a famous violinist and, despite his ’Allo ’Allo accent and Einstein-esque grey fright wig, somehow managed to seduce pretty much every female. “You open the legs, ja?” he purred to one paramour.

However, it was mainly Calypso who put the phwoar-time into wartime. We followed her transformation from prissy virgin into prolific saucepot – a metaphor for how the war swept aside traditional morality. As Wesley herself said: “We were a flighty generation. We’d been brought up so repressed. War freed us. We felt if we didn’t do it now, we might never get another chance. It got to the stage where one woke up in the morning, reached across the pillow and thought, ‘Let’s see, who is it this time?’”

Wesley poured those memories into The Camomile Lawn, which saw all manner of bed-hopping and “raunchy romping”, as it was termed in tabloidese. Ehle’s screen career was launched with a string of nude scenes. “I haven’t done any nudity since and never will again,” she later said. “I didn’t realise there would be so much of it, but no one forced me to do it. The first time I felt really shocked – then came a whole day of naked scenes. I went home and was physically sick. I had forgotten that I’d be seen naked in a lot of living rooms.”

Predictably, there was lots of female flesh on display, with just the odd male buttock as a nod to equal opportunities nudity.

One memorable scene saw Calypso go into labour under a kitchen table during the blitz, with schoolgirl Sophy acting as midwife. As furniture fell and plaster crumbled around them, Calpyso screamed, “Fuck Hitler! Bugger that bomb!” while she gave birth to a son.

Cousin Polly (Tara Fitzgerald) formed a proto-throuple with the twins. She had their children but nobody knew who fathered which. Felicity Kendal, a pin-up for men of a certain age, steamed up their spectacles with a woodland sex scene that wouldn’t look out of place in current period romps Poldark or Outlander. Even the seemingly stuffy Richard and Helena swapped partners with Max and Monika. “May I fuck you now?” asked another character who was “fearfully randy”. Oliver demanded his “comforts” whenever he returned home from military postings, at one point telling Calypso: “I’ve got an erection. I want to poke it into you.” Steady on, old chap.

It all gave pensioner Wesley a reputation as a purveyor of posh smut. Her style was described as “arsenic without the old lace” and “Jane Austen with sex”. Her family disapproved of this late-career pivot. Her brother called her novels “filth”, while her estranged sister strongly objected to The Camomile Lawn, claiming some characters were based on their parents.

It wasn’t until the last year of her life that Wesley collaborated with biographer Patrick Marnham on an authorised memoir, Wild Mary. The title referenced her childhood nickname and her liberated sex life. Wesley shared her memories from her sickbed, saying: “Have you any idea of the pleasure of lying in bed for six months, talking about yourself to a very intelligent man? My deepest regret was that I was too old and ill to take him into bed with me.”

Nowadays The Camomile Lawn comes with a warning, not just about strong language and sexual scenes but “offensive, racist language and attitudes”. These were indeed different times. Racial slurs were bandied about, as was the word “Bitch!” (mainly on the rare occasions when women declined an invitation to bed).

Blimpish old gents in crumpled cream suits blustered that “concentration camps must be splendid places”. Calypso boasted about meeting “awfully nice” Nazis while skiing. Uncle Richard admitted an unhealthy interest in young girls, with references to him “groping” his nieces – which everyone dismissed as a harmless eccentricity. At one point, a coastguard flashed “his pink snake” at 10-year-old Sophy and ended up being pushed off a cliff for his trouble.

It’s a tale of toffs who are so pampered they don’t just own separate town and country houses – some have town and country spouses, too. Everyone goes “up to Oxford” from boarding school, dines at the Ritz or the Savoy, drinks like dehydrated sailors and demands kedgeree for breakfast. Uncle Richard nearly cops it when he ventures outside during a bombing raid to rescue a case of vintage claret.

The Camomile Lawn is like a time capsule. A relic of a lost England. It’s Brideshead Revisited meets Ian McEwan’s Atonement, with Jilly Cooper drafted in to sex things up. The acting is stiff, stagy and laughably plummy, like a bad Radio 4 audio play. Stephens’ attempts to emote are often reminiscent of a parody by Victoria Wood or French and Saunders.

Fittingly, proceedings climax in typically absurd fashion. There’s the sort of unconvincing, hysterically shrill laughter that might precede the credits of a bad sitcom, before Wesley’s nice-but-dim nymphos find themselves facing something truly dreadful. Something guaranteed to send a shiver down the spine of any right-thinking toff. As the series closes, some ghastly parvenu is overheard discussing his plans to dig up the camomile lawn and replace it with a swimming pool. Bally typical.

The Camomile Lawn is available for streaming on All 4 and BritBox

Credits: The Guardian

[dragonuva]

Fun fact about Imp. Steven!

If ya hadn't caught on yet, the name 'Imperfect Steven' is a direct spoof/parallel to Rebecca's 'Perfect Steven'.

Also, have a size+color ref while you're stopping by~♡

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

My long post about why Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is fantastic (underrated) show:

Basic premise: Protagonist Rebecca Bunch, a high-powered, extremely stressed-out lawyer with a lot of mental health issues, decides on a whim to move across the country and work at a small law firm in order to chase after the guy she dated for a few months at summer camp years ago when they were both teenagers.

1. It’s a musical comedy drama.  Some people are probably saying “Ugh” and checking out right now, and that’s fine.  But if you like musicals, if you like comedies, if you like excellent character development and lots of feelings, this show’s got it all.

2. Every damn person on this show can sing and dance.  Everyone.  All the main characters at least participate in the songs, many of them have their own solo songs.  Even one-shot guest stars and background extras are part of the numbers.

3. The show is a send-up of romantic comedy tropes.  Rebecca lies, manipulates, and basically stalks her “ex” in ways that are usually presented as funny or “endearing” in romantic comedies, but are exaggerated to the point of making the audience uncomfortable.  The show makes it very clear that the things Rebecca is doing are not okay, her behavior is actually disturbing, and she needs help.

4. It’s an exploration of mental illness.  Despite the humor, the show takes Rebecca’s issues seriously.  Over the course of the show, we see her realizing that she needs help, getting that help, and working to get better (with occasional backsliding, because it’s not always a linear process).  The show isn’t really about rooting for Rebecca to wind up with any specific romantic partner, it’s about rooting for her to get her life together.

5. Deeply flawed female protagonist - mental illness aside, Rebecca is frequently not a very good person: (Song is slightly NSFW due to language)

She’s manipulative and self-absorbed.  But honestly, there are so many shows out there starring asshole male protagonists (many of which I watch and like!), it’s refreshing to see an asshole female protagonist.  And the show is about her ultimately trying to be better. 

6. Well-developed characters.  The ex-boyfriend that Rebecca chases after is not some idealized, perfect guy, and his current girlfriend is not just the high-maintenance, bitchy rival.  The show first presents them that way because that’s how Rebecca sees them, through her own biased perspective, but they get their own development and story arcs.  The “bitchy rival” actually becomes friends with Rebecca later on, and they have conversations about things other than men.  The cast is also fairly diverse. 

7. Rebecca’s best friend on the show is a middle-aged paralegal named Paula who is allowed to look middle-aged and not constantly dolled up to be as sexy as possible.  She’s also a complex, flawed character and absolute badass who gradually realizes her potential over the course of the series.  And she’s got one of the best voices on the series:

8. Rebecca’s boss, this kind of wholesome, middle-aged divorcee who dotes on his daughter and wants to be friends with all his employees, realizes early on in the show that he is bisexual.  The show doesn’t drag it out as some kind of angsty thing - he realizes that he is attracted to men as well as women and quickly accepts it.  Then he comes out by singing a song that debunks all the myths about bisexuals - he’s not really “just gay,” he doesn’t need to “pick a side,” being bi doesn’t automatically make him promiscuous.  Also, it’s really catchy:

9.  The songs.  The songs are amazing.  They’re funny, they’re well choreographed, they’re extremely catchy.  They’re usually spoofing either specific songs or genres of music, both from musicals and from general pop culture.  Some of them are social commentary:

Some of them are just hilarious, spot-on parodies:

10. Women talking very frankly about sex, periods, yeast infections.  Stuff that often gets sanitized on TV.  It’s refreshing, and very funny, in a way that doesn’t feel crude.  Like, they’re not just doing it for shock value, they’re joking about it because it’s a normal part of life.  Rebecca’s boss sings a whole song called “My Sperm is Healthy,” (because he wants to have another child) and he’s still one of the most wholesome characters on the show.     

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.  The entire show (4 seasons) is on Netflix.

[fyeahrebeccafront]

The Other One

Not to be confused with Comedy Central’s madcap music-industry spoof The Other Two, this family comedy of sorts opens with patriarch Colin Walcott unwittingly walking into his surprise birthday party with his longtime mistress Marilyn (Happy Valley star and Downton Abbey alum Siobhan Finneran) on his arm—and then literally dying of shock. His wife Tess (Rebecca Front, best known in the U.S. for her roles in The Thick of It and Avenue 5) and 20-something daughter Catherine (Ellie White of The Windsors) soon learn that he and Marilyn had a 20-something daughter… also named Catherine (Lauren Socha from Misfits). Suddenly, the stuffy, middle-class Walcotts and their crude, working-class counterparts are something like family. And in the meantime, Tess throws herself into online dating in a bitter attempt to even the sexual score with her late husband. American network television could never be trusted to wring something worth watching out of such a ridiculous premise. But thankfully, The Other One is a BBC production stacked with top-shelf comic actors, as well as a welcome throwback to joke-stuffed, class-conscious, pre-Fleabag Britcoms like Keeping Up Appearances and Gavin & Stacey.

[temaporal]

For Halloween, a Carol Burnett Show tribute to Alfred Hitchcock. I wanted to see “Rebecky,” their spoof on Rebecca, as I recently read the book and watched the 1940 Hitchcock adaptation, but tragically, I could not find it.

The clip above is from season eight, episode six, originally aired October 26, 1974.

[cocktailsfairytales]

Creative imagination and conspiratorial delusion collide when Jesse Bolger tries to help his friend unravel the mystery of two rogue Russian spies.

In the Mind of a Spy by Bruce M. Perrin - Spy Thriller / Mystery coming April 25th!

Preorder Today: https://mybook.to/IntheMindofASpy

@RABTBookTours #RABTBookTours #IntheMindofASpy #BruceMPerrin #Mystery

When Jesse Bolger ran into an old acquaintance from his high school days, Robert Gleason, he wondered if the man still had an imagination that was unencumbered by reality. His question was answered in the affirmative that evening. After insisting they talk inside his homemade, electronically shielded room so no one could listen to their thoughts—no tinfoil hat was good enough for Robert—he confided that he’d stumbled onto two KGB-era Russian spies intent on destroying the United States. And he wanted Jesse’s help to stop them.

Jesse was certain, of course, that it was just a hoax, but he played along. It didn’t prove to be one of his better decisions, however, as the next thing he knew, he was being detained by the FBI under suspicion that he was a double agent. And where was Robert Gleason, the man who had started this whole fiasco, the unemployed eccentric who lived in his grandmother’s basement in a retirement community while he was learning to talk to self-aware computers? He was nowhere to be found.

Knowing he was out of his league to investigate a missing persons case, Jesse hired private investigator Rebecca Marte, hoping she could unravel a case that one minute looked like a spy spoof and the next, a terrorist plot that would plunge the United States into financial pandemonium.

[stopforamoment]

Pernicious Passion: Part Five

Please check out the Pernicious Passion MASTERLIST for the complete list of writers and artists who inspired this series!    Bastien Lykel belongs to Pixelberry, and Kara is a real-life talented PB writer. Events in this fic are purely fictional because this is just a fun spoof!

Author’s Note and Summary: Thank you to @strangerofbraidwood for the crack fic edit that she created for my birthday! In this chapter Bastien and Kara get into a fight, and she doesn’t fight fair. Some of the Tumblr fan fic writers get thrown under the bus . . .  Shameless plug for @strangerofbraidwood who is a talented wlw fanfic writer. She is in the process of writing fan fics that include EVERY female LI in the Choices universe (and female characters who should have been LI!). Please check out her MASTERLIST. You won’t regret it! 💕  

Cordonians Gone Wild is the creation of @ao719 @cocomaxley @leelee10898  and @speedyoperarascalparty   

There are links to other artists and their works within this chapter. Thank you everyone for being a part of this!

Part Five (1,270 Words)

  Bastien was naked when she walked into the room.

Edit created by the hilarious and talented @strangerofbraidwood

No one had ever seen a pixelated character without underwear before, and the bright light blinded her. She heard rumors from fan fics like @jovialyouthmusic Protect and Serve series and @bobasheebaby NSFW ABC list that Bastien was well-endowed. Dammit! Why do the fan fic writers have control over the size of his penis and I can’t even see it? Go figure @strangerofbraidwood a wlw writer, would have the guts to create this edit. She doesn’t even like dicks, yet she did this for other members of the fandom. My god, how many other readers have I ignored and offended? “Apple Cobbler, my eyes are up here.” Kara’s face was already flushed, but her cheeks grew even warmer when she realized Bas caught her staring. “I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re so . . . amazing.” “But Kara. That’s just it. I’m not amazing. At least not the way Pixelberry portrays me. It’s the fandom who made me amazing. I owe it all to them, and I owe it to them to make sure I’m in more scenes. Even if it’s just to give them a little backstory of Jackson training me. A flashback to me eating dinner with the Walker family. Hell, @stopforamoment made it clear that she would pay over 100 diamonds just for a brief flashback of me eating chocolate chip cookies with Drake and Savannah while they watch TV.” “But Bas, demographics show that our younger readers aren’t interested in older men.” “Really, Kara? Tell that to @mfackenthal. She’s president of my fan club. And believe me. In the Tumblr world, she has clout. In fact, I think I’m going to DM her now to request an interview on the Mfackenthal Show.” Kara lunged for the phone. “Bas, no! Please! Give me time to fix this! You’re right. You are developing a strong following. More people are coming around. But it’s not enough.” Bastien sighed. “Kara, you’ve been using me. Controlling me. Keeping me tucked away for yourself. But that isn’t fair to the fandom. Even if people aren’t romantically interested in me, they want to know more about how things were like at the palace when Drake, Liam, and Olivia were growing up there. They want to know more about Queen Eleanor. If it’s true I had a crush on her . . . or even more.” “But Bas, where will you go if Pixelberry doesn’t want you anymore? Stay with me. I’ll keep you safe. I’m the only one who truly loves you.” Bastien shook his head. “No, Kara. This isn’t love. It’s infatuation. As crazy as the Tumblr fans get with their in-fighting over pixelated characters, and the glitches with suspended accounts and tags not working, it’s the only place where my character can truly grow. You’ve stunted me, Kara. And I think it’s time I work with @mfackental to get the best exposure for my character. I’m so sorry Kara. I wish it didn’t have to end like this.” “Bas, the Tumblr world isn’t sunshine and roses. There’s anon hate and pornbots. Legit accounts that get suspended while the writer waits MONTHS for resolution from the Tumblr team. It’s brutal--even for your character. Do you know that @cordoniansgonewild have you chasing after four strong, amazing women? No one can outsmart them, Bas. Not you. Not even their husbands. Queen Anitah has stolen the royal jet from right under your nose. They’ve drugged you and drawn penises on your face while you were unconscious. They’re ruthless, Bas. Please.” Bastien shook his head. “It’s all in good fun, and the focus is on the women. I’m fine with that because I love strong women.” Kara caught the faraway look in his eyes and she felt her stomach clench. “You’re thinking of Oliva, aren’t you?” Dammit @bobasheebaby and @stopforamoment for starting the whole Baslivia movement! The bright light between Bastien’s legs was getting noticeably brighter as he thought about his favorite Baslivia fan fic moments. @tornbetween2loves for giving him those steamy scenes with Olivia in her Shifting Focus series. When they were playing pool and she distracted him by slipping off her red thong, purposely bending over to give him a show. And then she used the thong to pull back her hair. The scent was intoxicating. And that time when she showed up wearing a trench coat and fedora. Fuck. @stopforamoment still can’t get that picture out of her head, it was so hot. And those fucking backseam stockings Olivia was wearing. He thought the bright light between his legs would explode with a show of fireworks. Kara’s eyes narrowed. “What about @emceesynonymroll and her Finding Riley series? You had a sex dream about your Queen right in front of her, and you had to play it off as a nightmare. Then you quickly rolled over, hoping you wouldn’t need a manual release.” The light between Bastien’s legs started to dim. “Kara, you aren’t fighting fair.” But Kara was only getting started. “And @stopforamoment and that slow burn from hell with over 96 chapters before you even got a real kiss on the lips? How many times did you have to masturbate because Rinda was so clueless about your feelings for her, or how sexually attracted you were to her.” Bastien’s jaw twitched. “Tria was worth it.” “What about @bobasheebaby?” Now a warm smile played across his lips. “Yes. She’s one of my favorites. She has so many series about me, and I’m allowed to explore my full potential with her. My sexual orientation. Multiple partners. My kinks. And I am more than just a guard with her. I can also be a mobster. A father. She understands me better than anyone else, and she’s sacrificed so much for me as she argues with her evil muse.”

Kara scoffed. “Really, Bas? Do you know what her Mistress of Evil muse has been up to?”

Bastien shook his head slowly. The ending of When Fairytales Break almost broke him. “No, Kara. It’s how that story needed to end. But I have so many other happy moments with Olivia. Olivia and Caleb. Harlow. Beth. Liza. Even Christy. And that Bastien NSFW ABC list she created with some help from @stopforamoment? They went through so many pairs of panties as they wrote it for me and the fandom.” The light between his legs began flashing uncontrollably as he thought of those panties.

It was a blinding strobe light, and Kara knew she needed to control it before she had an epileptic seizure. “But what about her latest Evil Liam series Be Careful What You Wish For?”

Bastien’s face paled and his strobe muted to weak flare ups. “That fic focuses on MC Rebecca’s love for Drake, and how Liam is getting in the way of their happiness.”

“Yes, but . . .”  Kara’s voice lowered as she prepared to deliver the fatal blow.

“No! No plot spoilers, Kara! I haven’t finished the most recent chapter yet!”

CHAPTER SIX

[eldritch-bf]

Alternatives For "Said" Organized By Emotion: Minimal Edition

Curated personally by me, straight from my excel doc where I combined several lists I found online AND duplicated words in multiple columns when the word versatile enough for several emotions, something irritated me on other lists. Like, come on Rebecca, "mumbled" can be used with almost every single mood, why are you only sticking it under "sad"?

Link to the color version.

Neutral acknowledged added advised agreed announced articulated asserted began called chimed in claimed communicated concluded conferred considered contended continued declared drawled emitted ended enunciated explained expressed held hinted imparted implied insisted mentioned mumbled muttered noted observed orated predicted pronounced put forth quipped recited reckoned related remarked repeated replied responded revealed shared spoke stated suggested supposed told uttered vocalized voiced went on whispered Annoyed/Rude/Mean/Angry accused admonished badgered barked bellowed bleated chastised choked complained condemned criticized cursed demanded denied derided disagreed dismissed dodged exploded fumed glowered groaned groused growled grumbled grunted heckled hissed ignored insulted jeered mimicked mocked nagged provoked raged ranted rasped remonstrated reprimanded retorted ridiculed roared scoffed scolded scorned screamed screeched seethed shouted smirked snapped snarled sneered snickered spat swore taunted teased thundered upbraided vociferated whined yelled Bummed/Sad/Miserable agonized apologized babbled bawled begged blubbered breathed complained confided cried faltered fretted grieved groaned grunted hesitated lamented mewled moaned mourned mumbled pleaded shrugged sighed sniffled sniveled sobbed stammered stuttered trailed off wailed wept whined whispered Happy/Humorous/Excited babbled beamed bubbled chattered cheered chortled chuckled complimented congratulated cried out crooned crowed derided effused exclaimed giggled grinned gushed heckled hollered jabbered jeered joked lampooned laughed mimicked parodied rejoiced ridiculed sang satirized screamed shouted smiled smirked snickered snorted spoofed taunted teased thanked trilled trumpeted yammered yelled Kind/Comforting admired approved comforted complimented congratulated consoled empathized grinned gushed invited joked offered praised professed reassured smiled soothed volunteered Uncertainty/Worry/Fear babbled blurted cautioned choked doubted faltered gasped gulped hesitated howled keened mumbled murmured muttered panted prayed quaked quavered screamed screeched shrieked squalled squealed stammered stuttered swore trailed off trembled wailed warbled warned wavered whimpered whispered yelled yelped yowled Asking A Question asked babbled begged challenged considered contemplated guessed hesitated hinted hypothesized implied inquired interrogated invited mouthed mused pleaded pondered probed proposed queried questioned quizzed repeated requested solicited speculated supposed wondered Responding To A Question accepted acknowledged advised affirmed agreed alleged answered assured avowed claimed conceded concluded confided confirmed considered decided denied disagreed disclosed dismissed disseminated divulged dodged explained ignored imparted indicated informed maintained notified offered passed on proffered promised promulgated refused released reported revealed shared specified speculated supposed testified transmitted verified

[ghosts-are-obsessed-with-me]

[Crazy Ex-Girlfriend theorizing that contains spoilers for, of all things, Fight Club]

I’ve been thinking about the song The Darkness, and the choice to personify depression and self-loathing as a crappy yet persistent boyfriend named Tyler. At first it seemed like a humorous and surprising way to defang the darkness -- this force of despair that has been tormenting Rebecca all these years? Oh yeah, that’s Tyler, Tyler Darkness. Dude’s a douchebag. An anticlimactic name because mental illness, it turns out, isn’t all that romantic and mysterious. 

But with the show’s knowledge of pop culture and incisive focus on gender roles, mental health, and narrative tropes (and how these interrelate), I’d be surprised if no one in the writing room pointed out parallels with another Tyler D., who’s not only also dark, edgy, and a shitty boyfriend, but himself a personification of mental illness. 

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend loves turning narrative tropes on their heads. The idea of Rebecca as an antihero has come up several times, with season 3 posters that spoofed Breaking Bad and Mad Men, as well as villains like those in Fatal Attraction (sidenote: interesting that self-destructive, manipulative men get to be antiheroes while women are villains). If the writers decided to throw Fight Club into the mix, I wouldn’t be surprised. But even if it wasn’t a deliberate choice, Fight Club’s tropes about gender and mental illness are so thoroughly engrained in the pop culture group mind that they’re already part of the general culture that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend works to critique.

In Fight Club, Tyler Durden is a hypermasculine expression of repressed mental illness -- he’s violent, merciless, confident, and exploitative. And although it arguably isn’t how Chuck Palahniuk intended this character to be perceived, he’s been wildly idealized. Men want to be bad boys, and women want to be with bad boys, the mindset claims.

The female love interest (and really, only female role) in Fight Club is Marla Singer, who personifies what might be termed the “borderline pixie dream girl.” While a manic pixie dream girl exists to reawaken the male protagonist to the joy of life through her quirky passion and boundless enthusiasm (all of which orbits around him, of course), the borderline pixie is all that excitement, allure, impulsiveness, and sexiness, but with a bent towards self-destruction which only makes her more mysterious and alluring to her man -- and more dependent on him. 

Like Rebecca, Marla struggles with suicidal ideation, low self-esteem, and a draw towards dysfunctional relationships. Unlike Rebecca, Marla is a supporting character whose issues are never explored in depth; her problems mainly add to the excitement of the relationship.

Again, although Palahniuk didn’t necessarily intend this with the character, this is how she’s been received. Marla often shows up on listicles of “Characters People With BPD Relate To.” A Google search also brings up a slew of “dark, romantic” fan content pairing her with Tyler. 

In Rebecca’s relationship with Robert, and later in her attempt to torment Josh, we see her idealizing the darkness of, in the first case, power imbalances in relationships, and in the second case, being the sexy unstable woman. But in both cases, her life doesn’t turn out like a movie. She suffers deeply and uncinematically. Her depression isn’t drinking red wine in the bath as a tear runs wistfully down her cheek. It’s subpar treatment in a hospital where the nurses talk about as as though she’s not there. It’s melting down because she believes all her friends hate her. It’s Googling suicide methods and refusing to get out of bed.

As Rebecca names the darkness Tyler, she personifies him without romanticizing him. Sure, he’s been there for her for years, but he doesn’t treat her well -- and that doesn’t make him a charming bad boy. In fact, he’s kind of a loser. Like a Fight Club fanboy, he thinks he’s a badass when he’s actually just an asshole. He plays drums and wears guyliner. His pet name for her is “slut.” 

Like mental illness, guys like Tyler are all around, banal and unmysterious even as they can make life hell. But we don’t have to idealize them or pick up for their nightly drunk dial. We don’t have to cut ourselves down to fit the tropes for the one available female role in the movie. We can find better ways of relating to others, to relationships, and to ourselves. We can be the protagonists of our own stories. 

[mostlysignssomeportents]

#10yrsago Chamber of Commerce tries to Ralph Lauren the Yes Men

Rebecca from EFF sez, "The Yes Men prank -- they put out a press release and held a spoof news conference on Monday, claiming that the Chamber of Commerce had reversed its position and would stop lobbying against a climate bill currently in the Senate -- apparently hasn't embarrassed the Chamber of Commerce enough yet. Attorneys for the group have issued a takedown demand for the website connected to the prank, claiming copyright infringement. The demand ignores the parodic nature of the stunt (parody enjoys First Amendment protection) and may just serve to put the Yes Men's criticism in the news for one more day."

https://boingboing.net/2009/10/22/chamber-of-commerces.html

[adamwatchesmovies]

Holmes & Watson (2018)

I’m not going to recommend Holmes & Watson but some critics have been calling it the worst film of the year. Yikes! That’s a bit far. Yes, the jokes are obvious even during the few times where they’re good and the talented cast is thoroughly wasted on a generally lazy script. I did laugh a few times, however, that's got to count for something.

Legendary detective Sherlock Holmes (Will Ferrell) and his partner Dr. Watson (John C. Reilly) have received a challenge from an unknown assassin. Queen Victoria (Pam Ferris) will die in two days unless they can discover who is after her, why, and how the crime is to be committed.

The film's idea of humor, which includes a gag about excessive masturbation, a lactating Watson, drunken foolishness, and general buffoonery are juvenile to the point of inducing headaches. At least they have the courtesy of only coming up once. The film’s central gag - that Sherlock’s seemingly-preposterous deductions always turn out to be true - is done over and over. The attempts at laughs aren't the worst characteristic of this film; it's the sheer lack of imagination. Arthur Conan Doyle’s most famous creation has been in HUNDREDS of films and this is the best material they could scrounge up for a parody? It isn’t even as funny as the Robert Downey Jr. films from 2009 and 2011, which are admittedly spoofed in the picture's best scenes.

Certain aspects of the film are so out of place they leave you aghast. I’ll give the film a pass on its extended sequences on the Titanic. The ship sank in 1912, most of Doyle's stories were set between 1880 and 1914. I doubt anyone put enough thought into the script to see how Holmes, had he actually been real, MIGHT’VE stepped foot on the ship at some point. It's just an excuse to take potshots at James Cameron’s film (Second Act did the same) and to throw yet another wink and nod towards the audience. Meanwhile, you’re wondering why there are references to selfies, Hannah Montanna, “Make America Great Again”, and Donald Trump in period-piece Sherlock Holmes movie.

 To the picture’s credit, I didn’t quite peg who the murderer was until late into it and chuckled enough times to keep me hopeful throughout the 90-minute running time. It’s a terrible film. Thinking back to the picture’s worst jokes, they make me cringe but I also wasn't disappointed. It’s kind of what I expected from a Will Ferrell/John C. Reilly comedy despite both of them being genuinely good actors who can do much better than this kissing cousin to Step Brothers. Certainly, you’d think Ralph Fiennes, Steve Coogan, Rebecca Hall, and Rob Brydon would be above this. On second thought, this may find its way onto my “Worst of the Year” list. (Theatrical version on the big screen, December 30, 2018)