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stoppingtosmelltheflowers · 2 years

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The Pink Cowgirl Dress

Part Three: Glimmers | A Hikari Yagami Drabble

A/N: This is part three of my Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants inspired ficlet, featuring Hikari. I'll admit this one got away from me, over 4,000 words of exploring Hikari's character, her relationships with others, and how the Dark Ocean left her directionless directly after it happened. I'm so incredibly happy with how this piece turned out because I adore Hikari and always wanted more Dark Ocean bits in 02. I always wanted more Sokari friendship content too so *cracks knuckles* - I will give myself exactly what I want with my writing and hope you all enjoy it too! (PS - this is the longest piece of fanfiction I have ever written and I couldn't be more proud of myself for pushing through the tough parts.)

Part One | Part Two

Characters: Hikari Yagami (POV), Sora Takenouchi, Mimi Tachikawa (mentioned), Taichi Yagami | Relationships: Hikari and Sora (friendship), Hikari and Taichi (minor, sibling fluff) | Genre: Hurt and Comfort | Setting: Three days after the events of 02 Episode 13 | Word Count: 4,010 (AHHHH)

It started with Tailmon’s soft snores. The Digimon was curled against the balcony’s sliding door, her body in line with the late afternoon sunbeams streaming through the apartment, and to Hikari, huddled in a fetal position on the couch, the light twinkled on her partner’s white fur, enveloping her in an angelic, golden glow that suited her. Whether Tailmon was snoring or purring, or some combination of the two, the sound echoed in Hikari’s ears, a creamy hum drum in sync with her own heartbeat.

Her eyelids fluttered closed, her breaths easing into a rhythmic lull coaxing her to slumber, and for a moment, she relaxed into the feeling, her perception floating…

…fading…

…sinking…

She jolted awake, her body convulsing into a free fall. It took several erratic pants for the haze of fear to pass, for the thundering black waves to ebb away to the edges of her mind. She sat up, back arching in a pathetic bow and nails digging into her polka-dot pajama pants. She was home, not lost in that murky ocean world. She was safe.

Tailmon leapt from the floor to the couch in one fluid motion and squeezed her way into Hikari’s lap, her ears laying tightly back against her head.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” the Digimon said.

“It’s alright,” she said, scratching Tailmon’s cheek with a single finger. “I’m alright. You deserve some rest.”

“So do you.”

Hikari chewed the inside of her cheek. Everyone wanted her to sleep, but behind sleep lurked nightmares and visions that wavered between imaginations and premonitions. Always the Dark Ocean. Three days had passed since she was dragged there, ripped across worlds against her will. It haunted her. She found no comfort in the few hours she forced herself to close her eyes at night, tossing and turning in frightful fits, some small piece of her consciousness clinging to reality, crawling to find the light. She knew the lack of rest left her brittle and drained – it was why she stayed home from school. She’d hoped that moving from her bedroom to the living room while her parents and brother were still out for the afternoon would help her wake up, but no matter where she hid, the drowsiness stalked behind her like a shadow.

“I’ll make tea,” she said, shifting Tailmon to the side and hopping up.

She wouldn’t doze off while on her feet and fiddling with things would keep her attention from wandering. If her partner gave any sort of questioning stare, Hikari refused to meet it, and marched at a sluggish pace towards the kitchen, her slippers shuffling on the floor with every step. Slow and steady were meant to win the race, but they hindered her like weights until she wasn’t sure if she would cross the finish line at all.

She had zoned out watching the kettle when a shrill chime rang throughout the apartment. Hikari’s brow furrowed as she stared at the oven clock. Not even 3:30pm. Besides, no one in her family rang the doorbell – well Taichi did with his knee sometimes if he made the trip up with his arms full of grocery bags – but he was at football practice.

Her stomach somersaulted. She had answered the worried messages from her friends over the weekend with short, positive phrases that she didn’t really believe in herself, but so far today, she left her D-Terminal on silent, buried underneath the pillows on her bed. It was easier to pretend she was actually sick instead of admitting to the undefinable turmoil that raged against her like the sea against the shore.

Mindlessly, she drifted towards the door, unlatched the lock, and pulled it open. Sora stood outside, carrying a tote bag out in front of her. She smiled as wide as the sun and a light danced in her eyes that reminded Hikari of twinkling stars.

“I brought you your homework,” she said, raising the bag an inch. “I caught Taichi before he ran off to practice and said I would grab it. I wanted to see how you were feeling.”

Mollifying words were on the tip of Hikari’s tongue, but the rising kettle’s whistle behind her left her at a hush, scrambling the usual brush-offs she would have said. “Would you like a cup of tea?” she asked instead.

She hadn’t thought Sora’s smile could grow, but it did, and Hikari couldn’t stop the warmth from blooming in her chest.

“I would love that.”

***

Hikari stirred her tea, the clinking of spoon against mug filling the awkward space between her and Sora. They had chatted with ease about various and sundry topics: school, tennis, the weather, but as they wove their way through safe topics, their answers dwindled to succinct “yeses” or “nos,” and silence settled and compressed like fog. It wasn’t unpleasant, only unwieldy, and she wondered how long the quiet would last before Sora addressed the elephant in the room. Word of her and Takeru’s disappearance had erupted throughout the Chosen Children like frenzied wildfire. Everyone knew. But no one understood.

She leaned back against Tailmon’s fur. The Digimon had perched into a ball on top of the couch cushion behind her, already dozing off even amidst the conversation, and Hikari swallowed a pang of guilt. Her own sleeplessness was a burden not only for Tailmon, who stayed awake with her when the nightmares shook her into a wakeful terror, but for Taichi too. For the past three nights, Hikari, pretending to be asleep with blankets drawn up over her face like a mask, heard her bedroom door creaking open ever so slightly and caught the silhouette of his unruly hair as he peeked inside to make sure she was still there before he tiptoed away.

Sora set her mug down and scooched towards her.

“You alright?” she asked, and Hikari was rustled from her broodings.

“Yeah.” The word came out like a reflex, but there was no mettle to it; instead, it flopped like a dying fish, and she hid her face behind the mug. If she just wasn’t so tired! Sora reached out and gently tugged Hikari’s hands back down.

“You’re not sleeping.”

It was such a simple observation that despite herself, Hikari laughed dryly, the sound scratching her throat. She dipped her chin to the floor, fiery shame billowing in the pit of her stomach and reaching its long, flaming tendrils in red splotches that kissed her neck. Her grip on the mug tightened until her palms ached.

“You can tell me,” Sora said.

“It won’t go away,” Hikari whispered. “Every time I close my eyes, it’s like I’m back there, inside the Dark Ocean. I can see the black waves. I hear them pound on the beach. My nose burns with the salty tang in the breeze. The sand sinks underneath my feet. It all comes rushing back, and I can’t stop it. I’m so tired but terrified that if I let my guard down for a second, the darkness will whisk me away again. Like it’ll swallow me whole and never spit me out.”

She felt Sora stiffen next to her. Hikari turned, noticing that the usual rosy color of Sora’s cheeks had drained to a pasty paleness, and although her gaze was fixed upon the younger girl, Sora seemed to be looking straight through her, lost to a memory from a different time and place. To Hikari, it was like peering at her reflection, those moments when her perception glazed over and dreams mingled with reality.

“I understand,” Sora breathed, blinking. Wherever she had strayed off to, she returned, lines of deep worry creasing her forehead, and she appeared years older.

“What do you mean?”

Sora turned her entire body towards Hikari so that their knees bumped and grabbed hold of her hands.

“Do you remember when Taichi told me to take Takeru and find the others before we battled Piemon?”

Hikari nodded. “He knew we would need to fight together to defeat him.”

“He was right, and I knew how important it was to find Yamato, Jou, and Mimi. Time was against us, and I was so afraid of letting Taichi down. He was counting on me. What if I failed? What if I couldn’t do anything to help? What if I was too late? I don’t blame him, but I was overwhelmed.” Sora smiled sadly. “I put it all on my shoulders, and it crushed me until I couldn’t go any further. I don’t know what happened exactly. I shut down. I gave in to every morbid fear that crossed my mind; the cold, numbing feeling opened up inside my chest. Takeru said it was like black snakes bursting from the ground and wrapping around my legs, but I know the darkness originated from my own heart. Then I was plunging down into a dark abyss. Piyomon’s and Takeru’s yells became muffled, like I was hearing them from underwater while they were yelling from the surface. I was sinking and sinking further into the cave with no bottom in sight.”

Hikari didn’t realize she was trembling until Sora brushed her thumbs over her hands, and she whistled out a shaky breath that had been burning her lungs.

“I didn’t care,” she continued. “I was ready to give everything up. I might’ve been trapped in there forever, falling in my own despair for all eternity. I don’t know. Yamato and Jou refused to give up on me. They dove in after me without a second thought and pulled me back, but it was more than that. Because of them, I remembered who I was again, who we are. They helped me rekindle the light that lives inside of me. You know better than anyone that light will always outshine darkness. We’ve never been alone - that’s what makes us Chosen Children. We have our Digimon and each other. The deepest night can’t dim a galaxy of stars.”

Hikari was at a loss for words. She tried several times to say something, but they were vague, incoherent mumbles that wouldn’t string together.

“I didn’t know,” she settled on whispering, a shiver creeping along her spine like an ivy vine.

“You know that Yamato experienced the same type of dark cave that I did?” Sora lifted her eyebrows and Hikari shook her head, forgetting once more to breathe. “It may not always look like it, but Yamato feels deeply; it’s why the Crest of Friendship fits him perfectly, but he struggled with understanding what that meant, especially after he came at Taichi with fists flying. The darkness targeted his vulnerabilities and worries, just like it did with me, and it was Gabumon who finally reached him at his darkest.”

“I figured he was shaken up after the fight with Taichi,” Hikari said, “and that’s why he left the group. I never imagined he was suffering.”

“Everyone has their demons. Some fester inside of us like a plague, and others are so tangible that it seems like we can reach out and touch them. Even Taichi…” Sora trailed off as though she’d accidentally veered off a cliff, her nose scrunching with regret.

Hikari’s mouth dropped open and she inched forward until she was sitting on the edge of the couch.

“Taichi? How?”

Sora winced. “I really shouldn’t - ”

“Please. Tell me.”

“Well, it was with SkullGreymon,” Sora said, throwing a worried glance at the door as if Taichi would materialize any moment. “There was a lot we didn’t know back then, especially about the crests. A lot of times we were making it up as we went along, surviving by sheer determination, a shred of skill, and a lot of luck. But we did understand the basic premise of evolution. You know, you’ve felt it too, that buoyancy expanding inside us when our Digimon evolve.”

Hikari pulled Tailmon into her lap, recalling the exhilaration that would swell in every fiber of her being each time Tailmon evolved. The Digimon themselves were the ones that changed physically, but the true growth was balanced between the two, like spider-webbing roots that bound them together, a give and take flow that strengthened both sides.

“Taichi told me after it happened that he knew something was wrong the moment Greymon began to evolve. His crest glowed dark, and he said it was like a black hole around his neck, choking him, dragging him down, and squeezing his chest…that the link between him and Greymon became parasitic and suffocating. The way he described it was -”

“Like drowning,” Hikari finished, tears pricking her eyelashes. Of course. How could she have forgotten the contorted grimace that had blighted her brother’s expression when he watched with his own eyes as the Kaiser forced Agumon into that horrendous form? It was the same inner darkness that flirted with her, pulling her away, drenching her in loneliness, the same one that had preyed upon Sora’s doubts, and Yamato’s…

Maybe she wasn’t quite as alone as it wanted her to believe.

“Thank you,” Hikari said, tilting her head into Sora’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean for you to relive those awful memories.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she responded, leaning in as well. Hikari inhaled the sweet vanilla tones of Sora’s shampoo. “Now, onto a slightly happier topic, let’s see what I’ve brought for you.”

The cheerful gleams flickered back to life in Sora’s face. She reached into the tote bag beside her feet, pulling out textbooks and assorted papers and setting them down on the coffee table as she muttered things about arithmetic, biology, and literature. Hikari suppressed a sigh - schoolwork never slowed, not when the Kaiser had claimed a new territory in the Digital World with another Control Spire, and not when she’d been sucked through dimensions. Sora held the last item out to her, and at first glance, Hikari thought it was a towel, but as the older girl began to unfold it, she clasped her hand over her mouth. She’d never forget the sight of Mimi’s pink cowgirl dress.

“How is that still in one piece?” she gasped, fluttering her fingers across the fabric with delicate, deliberate movements, as if the dress would disintegrate if she grasped it too hard.

“It’s held up better than you would think,” Sora said with a wink. “We wanted you to have it.”

“We?”

A dusty, embarrassed blush warmed Sora’s face. “A while back, Mimi gifted the dress to me because she believed it might help me overcome my fears. She was right. Then, it fell in and out of my thoughts. Sometimes I would take it out to admire the care and handiwork it’s been shown over the years, but mainly it’s been stuffed in a box underneath my bed. Now, I think it belongs to you. See these patches and shaky stitches? Mimi did them herself. And I added the embroidered flowers on the hem. So even though I’m giving it to you physically, it’s from both of us. My love and Mimi’s love are woven through it for you.”

A single tear fell, unbidden, down Hikari’s cheek, a sob shuddering in her throat, and Sora rubbed it away with her thumb. It all felt so underserved: Takeru’s willpower that transcended worlds to bring her home, her brother’s nighttime watchful eye, Tailmon’s abiding grace, and now Sora’s encouraging solace. She couldn’t fathom their belief in her strength. Nor had the horrors vanished from the far corners of her mind, but they began to recede like the ocean at low tide.

“And these are for you too,” Sora said, placing a ziplock bag on top of the stack of homework. It was stuffed full of ribbons, string, beads, and other mismatched crafting items. “Adding a bit of myself to the dress helped me focus on something positive, and when I was finished, I felt even more in tune with Mimi. I wasn’t sure what you might like, so I just threw a bunch of things together if you wanted to add your own bit of Hikari-flair to the dress.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Hikari stammered.

“Say nothing,” Sora responded. “Create something instead.” She rose to her feet. “I should be heading home. I promised my mom I would help her trim flowers.”

Hikari walked with her to the door, still hanging on to the dress, and when they hugged goodbye, the fabric was pressed between them. She waltzed back to the couch, a familiar but missed spring in her step. Tailmon was already rummaging through the crafts and she pulled out several ribbon strands that not only twirled around her body, but caused an avalanche of beads to spill out. Hikari giggled and untangled her partner from the mess.

“There are so many to choose from,” the Digimon said. “What do you want to do?”

Hikari hummed, shoving the two mugs and school books (she would tackle those later) to the edge of the coffee table, and spread the dress out on top so it lay completely flat. She tapped her chin with her forefinger, thinking of the infinite possibilities. The problem was, she wasn’t all that confident in her sewing abilities, so she didn’t want to try her hand at anything too complicated. A couple of stitches she could do, but how and where…? Her gaze fell upon the top of the dress and she pursed her lips. Without the fringe jacket she remembered Mimi wearing in the Digital World, the dress “sleeves” were two thin, pink spaghetti straps. The idea pierced her musings like the break of dawn, and she smiled at Tailmon, who observed her with none of the worried apprehension that had clouded her partner’s usual shine since they returned to the human world.

“How about ribbons for sleeves?” Hikari asked. “With bows on either end?”

“I love it! Can I help?”

“Absolutely. I’ll need you to keep the ribbon in place while I sew the ends on the fabric. I just need to pick one out first.”

She rifled through ribbons of varying color and widths, from glossy, pastel pinks as thick as her arm to matte, grasslike greens. She paused on one of the pinks, a dainty bubblegum shade hovering somewhere between roses and violets, but a shimmer caught on the lowering sunbeams through the window like stained glass, forcing Hikari to notice it. The culprit was still crammed in the bag, a black ribbon adorned with flecks of glittering sequins, and she twirled the strand around her fingers, mesmerized by the way light danced with it.

“This one,” she said. “Come on, let’s finish up on the bed.”

Hikari gathered the dress and materials she needed in her arms, and she and Tailmon skipped to her room. She sat on top of her comforter and blankets with her legs criss-crossed and the top of the dress pulled over her feet. As close to the seam as she could get, she snipped the original straps off from the dress and used them to cut two even pieces from the black ribbon. With Tailmon’s help, she sewed them to the inside of the fabric with irregular but sturdy stitches and used the leftover ribbon to tie four small bows that she would sew directly on the dress itself, in the space where the fabric and ribbon met.

Time no longer seemed to drag on like an incurable ache, and Hikari hardly heard her mother come home and start dinner by clanging pots and pans in the kitchen.

When the apartment door opened again, she heard Taichi’s recognizable stomp (meaning it was already 5:00pm), and his uneasy grumbling about whatever their mother had elected to cook. His footsteps grew louder until he stood half in the hallway and half in the bedroom, the smell of grass stains, fresh dirt, and sweat wafting from him like a strong perfume. Hikari set the needle down, and the two siblings stared at each other for several moments. He opened his mouth, the question he was about to ask dying on the tip of his tongue when he glanced down at the dress. He came to the edge of her bed and lingered without uttering a single word, fixating on the dress as Hikari resumed sewing the final bow, and just when she had summoned the courage to say something, he ruffled her hair in warm fondness and walked away.

Before his shadow vanished, he said, “You’re better,” and Hikari’s heart swelled.

“I think it’s done,” she said to Tailmon, tying off the final stitch. “What do you think?”

“Try it on,” her partner urged.

Hikari wiggled her shoulders in hesitation, but Tailmon was adamant, and she finally caved in after a fit of eager giggles. She hopped off the bed and shut the door with her foot stretched behind her as she yanked off her pajamas. The dress was soft against her skin, the ribbon straps secure, but not too tight, around her shoulders, and she marveled at how they glimmered in her reflection. The black was a stark contrast to the pinks, greens, and whites, but Hikari didn’t regret her choice. It fit, somehow, her own design. She could almost conjure the faint warbles of Sora’s and Mimi’s essences tied together with hers.

She leapt gracefully across the room, her arms held out with elegant poise like a ballerina, and spun on her tiptoes in tight circles. She wondered if this was what it felt like when the Chosen released a Digimon from the influence of the Kaiser’s Dark Rings and Spirals, an unbridled freedom that sent her spirit soaring. It was an euphoria stronger than the bones of the Earth. Suddenly, she wasn’t on the ground at all, but gliding across a blue sky wider than the gnashing ocean below it, the white tipped waves unable to snatch her. She wasn’t sure what to name the sensation, but its dawning coated her skin like armor.

“Are you going to wear the dress to school tomorrow?” Tailmon asked, grounding Hikari out of her daydreams.

“No,” she said, unable to hide the smile playing on her lips. “I don’t need it for school. I need it for something much more important.”

Hikari ate dinner while wearing the dress, not oblivious to the odd glances and quirked eyebrows her parents shared when they thought she wasn’t paying attention, but she didn’t mind, eating her mother’s slightly chewy pasta as if it were a Michelin Star worthy meal. Taichi watched her intently with an amused curiosity, and although she guessed there was more he could say about the dress, he settled with telling her, “The ribbons and bows are a nice addition.”

There were a myriad of emotions she longed to divulge to her brother, and perhaps he felt similarly after what Sora had told her, but Hikari knew that tonight wasn’t the time to dive into all that remained unsaid between them. Someday she would. And maybe with the others too. She didn’t think she was ready to pour herself out just yet, still couldn’t clearly see the silver lining in the distance, but that didn’t mean she never would. She retreated to her bedroom early, while the rest of her family gathered in the living room watching reruns, where Tailmon was waiting for her (and a snack, which she generously offered). Her pajamas lay bunded up in the corner, but she inched into bed with the dress on, burrowing into the mattress and tucking her blankets around her body like a cocoon. Tailmon nestled up against her pillow and into the crook of her neck.

She dug out her D-Terminal and tapped out a quick I’ll see you tomorrow! message to everyone except Takeru. In her message to him, she added: I think I’m finally starting to come back. Thanks for finding me and giving me hope.

Hikari hugged herself tenderly, reminding herself that she was deserving of such coziness. Her and Tailmon’s breathing harmonized together, and within minutes of resting her head, she sailed into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

#the pink cowgirl dress #hikari yagami #sora takenouchi #sokari #taichi yagami #digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digimon fanfiction #digimon fanfics #my digimon fanfics #the dark ocean episode takes place on a friday in this story because i needed it to fit my narrative #no beta we die like leomon #author bullshits her way through creating a possible link between the dark ocean and the dark caves #author also bullshits her way in describing what Digimon evolution is like from the human perspective #the lack of sokari friendship fueled this chapter because i just think they would have the most wholesome big sis/little sis relationship #the slighest hints at takari are in here because that's who i am #also some slight sorato AND taiora hints...which do i ship here...you'll never know >:)#seriously tho both yamato and taichi play such an important role in sora's life so i needed to dive into both of them #there isn't any true romantic shipping in this #just tiny hints

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