#SOME OF MY FAVORITES FROM HIS PLAYLIST. BUT NOT THE ONLY ONES TO DESCRIBE HIM

[friesian]

HI for the oc music meme, 2 & 3 for marwyd :eyes:

(@commander-winterberry)

OH YOU PICKED THE GOOD ONES. OHOHOHOOooo 2. THEIR PERSONALITY?

this song inspired a WHOLE rp thing me and my friends did. but it's him. it's very much how he interprets himself. and also how he acts to most anyone who isn't in his close circle that gives him the wrong vibes. he's not a good person. nothing will ever make that right!!! 3. THEIR ANGST?

i don't think i need to elaborate on this one.

🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

(SONG FUCKS SO HARD THOUGH)

[seokmthw]

in the fire | sung hanbin

⇢ pairing: hanbin x reader

⇢ warnings: dystopia au, zombie apolocalypse au, angst, some fluff, slow burn, major character death, vomiting, blood, gore, violence, explicit language, mentions of/implied assisted suicide (this is the best way to describe it)

⇢ synopsis: a deadly virus has broken out and left the world in shambles as everything you once knew gets flipped upside down and you're fighting for your life alongside your best friends. the three of you decide to follow a pair of strangers to a city that supposedly has an entire community of people, but you didn't realize the amount of horrors you would have to endure along the way.

⇢ word count: 19.08k

⇢ note: i am SO proud of how this turned out, it's one of my favorite fics i have written to date. the plot moves kind of fast but i feel like that happens with most zombie apocalypse media, so i hope you guys don't mind. if you want to listen to the playlist i listened to during the making of this while you read, here it is. i hope you enjoy :]

JOIN MY TAGLIST!

i.

“y/n, wake up!” the deep slumber you were in felt as if it didn’t last very long due to the familiar voice of one of your best friends, taerae, shaking you awake.

you groaned, stirring around beneath your covers, swatting his hands away from you, “what, taerae? i was sleeping so good.”

“that’s not really important right now,” his voice was hushed, a hint of anxiety laced within his words. it was extremely unlike him, and within mere seconds you were opening your eyes and staring at him, sitting up from your cocoon, brows furrowed in concern, “what's wrong?” you asked, observing him as he began rummaging through your bags hanging on the back of your bedroom door.

he tossed your largest backpack at you, “we need to go, within the next few minutes, actually. pack only the essentials.”

“why?” you inquired, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed and touching your feet to the chilly hardwood floors. you were greeted with silence, trying to get your tired brain to catch up with taerae’s actions of grabbing some of your personal hygiene products and tossing them on the bed next to you. 

you become frustrated with the boy, snapping, “taerae, what is going on? you can't just barge in here and tell me to pack some of my shit and then not tell me why.”

he stopped dead in his tracks, shoulders tense and a sigh slipping past his lips. he turned to face you, the fear he was feeling clear on his expression now. you searched his face for anything that might be an indicator of what it was, but the words he uttered were something you never expected, “there was just a nationwide announcement broadcasted on the tv that said the most recent round of flu shots contained a nasty string of some virus in it and it's mutating in people’s genes,” he explained, “the people who got it are going crazy and freaking out on everyone around them. biting them, clawing at their skin, swallowing whatever bits of flesh they can get their hands on. it's complete madness. they want everyone to travel to some hospital a few hours north of here.”

you couldn't help the way your jaw fell slack at his gruesome words. people eating other people? there was no way this was happening. you were surely dreaming, or taerae was pulling your leg and taking it a little too far; it wouldn't be the first time he's done something like this during your time being friends with him. you shook your head, balling up one of your shirts and chucking it at him, “stop fucking with me, dude. i can't believe you woke me up for this.”

“i’m being dead serious, y/n,” the bewilderment in his eyes and the nervous bobbing of his adam’s apple was hard to miss, “ask hanbin if you're really that skeptical. you know he would never seriously joke about something like this.” he took your backpack from your hand and began shoving things inside of it, motioning for you to seek out hanbin and find out for yourself. 

you pushed past him and out into the hallway, feet padding gently against the floor into the living room where the television was quietly humming in the background. you focused your attention on that, snagging the remote from the coffee table and turning the volume up. on the screen was your local news channel, an anchor braving what seemed to be utter chaos behind them. 

/reporting to you live from the streets of atlanta. since the news of the virus outbreak, madness has struck the city. people are in a frenzy, desperate to get out and find some sort of safety. it is highly advised you form a group with whoever you are near now and leave as soon as you can. i will provide you with more updates as they com-/

before the reporter could finish her sentence, someone came barreling up behind them, snapping their neck cleanly. you watched in horror as the reporter’s body crumpled to the ground and the culprit followed suit, crawling on his hands and knees to get to the exposed flesh of their neck. the culprit sniffed deeply before he began ripping their throat out, blood pooling near their head and their face quickly becoming unrecognizable. the look in the culprit’s eyes was nothing short of evil and you felt as if you were going to vomit just watching. 

“y/n, there you are!” the sound of hanbin's panicked voice caused a wave of fear to course through your veins. you yelped in surprise, quickly whipping around to face him, taking in his expression, a backpack of his own secured on his back not going unnoticed by you. 

this was real. and it was serious.

you felt tears well up in your eyes at the sight of him, still digesting what you had just witnessed on the television. he glanced over at the screen, catching a look for himself, and was quick to shut it off so you didn't have to see anymore. he approached you gently, but you were quick to cling to him, desperate to be grounded, to have a sense of security after being woken up to such intense news. you felt his arms envelope you in an embrace, his hands cupping the back of your head as you whispered, “i’m terrified, hanbin.”

“i know,” he consoled, trying his best to keep his voice steady, “i am too, but we can't let that control us right now. we have to be logical and level headed. let’s go find taerae and get out of here.”

you nodded, pulling away from him, feeling your heartbeat speed up in your chest at the way he wiped your tears away, the softest of smiles on his face. he tilted his head in the direction of your bedroom, and you followed behind him, shaking your head at yourself. now was /not/ the time for you to be dwelling on the crush you developed on him. at this point, you weren't sure if there would ever be a time, but you were hardly worried about it. 

you entered back into your bedroom, having seen taerae was almost finished with packing your backpack full of things. you thanked him quietly and apologized for freaking out on him a few minutes prior, earning a small smile from him in return, “i understand why you didn't believe me at first, so it's really okay.”

“so what’s the plan?” you asked, now taking the bag from taerae’s grasp and slinging it over your shoulders. 

“i suppose we attempt to get wherever they're saying to go,” hanbin answered. you looked outside of your window, catching a glimpse of the chaos a few streets over, a cynical laugh erupting from your lungs, “looks like that’ll be easier said than done.”

the three of you made a collective decision to at least try, because maybe you'd be guaranteed safety that way. you stayed clustered together tightly upon exiting the house through the front door, every sense on high alert as you kept your eyes peeled out for anyone you suspected might be infected by the virus. you felt as if your heart was in your throat, adrenaline coursing through your veins in a way it never had before. 

you slunk to taerae's suv, opening the doors to get in as quietly as you could muster, though you knew it would be harder to keep its old doors from squeaking too loudly. you hopped in quickly, desperate to get out of there and to a place where you wouldn't have to fear so much, and hopefully live in peace until this entire thing blew over. 

out of habit, taerae shut the door loudly, and the panic that sank to the pits of your stomachs was enough for taerae to kick it into high gear and speed out of your neighborhood as fast as he could. loud, gutteral shrieks from infected chasing after the car could be heard – the sound was unmistakable. you tried your hardest to keep your head down, to not look, because you genuinely felt like you'd throw up at any given moment.

but your efforts were cut short from the sounds of the tires screeching and taerae yelling, your gaze flicking up to see a body toppling over the hood of the car, blood splattering on the windshield and oozing from their mouth from where they'd likely just gotten done devouring someone. silence hung thickly in the air, the three of you processing everything that just happened.

“i just ki-”

taerae’s words were drowned out by the sound of you wretching in the back seat.

ii.

you never made it to the hospital. there was far too much chaos, and by the time you’d made it to a gas station, everyone had used up every last drop trying to top off before they drove up there. the three of you ended up having to completely abandon taerae’s suv, and despite the sheer amount of infected surrounding you, somehow, you survived. 

your new routine had been set in place for quite some time now. find a shelter, scavenge for supplies, and repeat for a couple weeks. then afterward, you would relocate. it was really the most you could do, considering every place you deemed worthy to make a hideout ended up being overtaken by more infected than you could usually handle. you were getting pretty sick of constantly having to move around, having no stability.

you missed life before the outbreak.

it took weeks for you to adjust to seeing so much blood, or having to kill infected who hadn't completely rotted away, some eerily intact despite the virus taking hold. it took an even longer time to adjust to /killing/. it was never something you imagined you would ever have to do in your life, but by now, about a year and a half later since the outbreak, you were immune to it and it didn't bother you anymore. regardless, you still longed for the days where all you did was complain about work and bills. 

having taerae and hanbin around made things a lot easier; especially hanbin. he naturally assumed the role of leader within your small group, and even more so if you had others tagging along with you. but just barely a week ago the last person of a group of about 5 you came across got bit and succumbed to the infection, leading to a huge scare of taerae potentially getting infected himself. thankfully, he wasn't, but the prospect of losing either of them to the virus made you feel nauseous. 

your tasks for each day were split up so none of you experienced extreme amounts of burnout. some days were dedicated solely to rest, though all three of you felt incredibly guilty when you did that. at any given moment, you could be attacked. or not have enough to eat. or even die. one thing you all had learned the hard way was that you were never guaranteed to live through an entire day. 

which led you to your current situation of trying to sneak around a nearby general store in hopes of finding some sort of supplies with taerae while hanbin protected the house you were currently inhabiting. since losing the last of your new group, you often found yourself wishing you could have at least a few more people so nobody was left alone. knowing that hanbin was currently by himself made you uneasy, especially since he couldn’t defend himself against more than two or three infected, or even other people, at once. you shook the thoughts plaguing your mind away; there was no time to think about things like that.

besides, you knew hanbin would be fine. he always was.

you gripped your knife tightly in your hand, allowing your eyes to constantly scan the aisles while you were searching through boxes in hopes of finding anything you could use. you had come to this place a couple of times since settling down a couple weeks ago, but it was nearly empty now. your food supply was running out at an alarming rate and there was only so much you could ration between the three of you before you would inevitably starve. 

the moment you came across anything that was edible, you could have cried. it was the millionth can of beans you had come across since you’d been traveling and you were tired of them being the main component of your diet. it was no wonder it was some of the only food left no matter where you went. people still hated beans, even in the midst of an apocalypse.

you carefully stepped over large chunks of broken glass to avoid making too much noise so you could stand next to taerae, who was dejectedly kicking around some garbage that was of no use to any of you. smiling sadly, you asked, “have you found anything?”

“not really, no,” he answered, “i think another group of people came through here and took a bunch of supplies we had seen when we were fighting that mob last week. bastards.”

you knew how frustrated taerae was getting with unsuccessful supply runs. admittedly, you were feeling the same way. it was hard not to have a temper. but, you were actively trying to make sure you didn’t let it crush your spirits too much. if you did, you knew that it would not only bring your motivation to keep searching down, but it would take a toll on everyone else around you as well. that was the last thing you needed, especially since things were looking more and more grim each day.

“have you found anything?” he asked.

you sighed, “other than a couple cans of beans and a box of cold medicine, i haven’t come across anything worthwhile.”

taerae softly whined, and for a minute, you thought he might throw a tantrum, “why does everyone leave only beans? that’s been our diet for what feels like an eternity.”

“i know, but be glad we find anything at all. it’s better than nothing,” taerae huffed in annoyance, but ultimately agreed with your sentiment.

you followed taerae out of the store, careful not to let the door slam shut behind you. making one loud, uneccessary noise would more than likely lead to your deaths, and that wasn’t particularly something you were looking for by any means. you both refused to leave hanbin on his own. you were doubtful he could survive alone, especially if he were to encounter a lot of infected at one time.

there was nobody who was capable of that.

you set off down the road toward your current hideout. night time was creeping up on the two of you, and while you were sure the you could take on a small group of infected together, you knew you couldn’t handle any more than that. you peered over to your partner, taking note of the sour expression adorning his features, and nudged him playfully, “a little success is better than nothing at all, you know.”

“i do,” he attempted to fight the smile creeping at the corners of his mouth, “maybe you’re just bad luck. every time i go on a run with hanbin, we always find so much.”

“hey!” you exclaimed with a light laugh.

taerae shrugged, a small chuckle emitting from his lungs, “you didn’t deny it.”

you fell into a comfortable silence, the only audible sound being your boots thudding against the pavement. you felt a shiver course down your spine; this would be your second time going through this apocalypse in the winter months. it was hard to ignore the fact that it was starting to get icy out and the wind was cutting right through your thin jacket and down to your bones. you leaned a little closer into taerae, who was practically grinning from ear to ear as you did so.

“i take it you’re cold?” though he was teasing you, his arm instinctively wrapped around your shoulders. you nuzzled closer into the boy’s side, soaking up any bit of warmth he radiated from underneath his hoodie.

“no, i’m sweating buckets,” you sarcastically remarked, completely unable to mask your playful smile, “i’m actually freezing. and i think it’s starting to rain.”

taerae tilted his head up toward the sky, his dark eyes scanning the darkening gray clouds overhead. he audibly sighed, and you took note of the cold droplets of water starting to fall on top of your head and seep into your clothes. he turned to you, “we’re only a couple blocks away from the house, let’s just pick up the pace. we don’t want our asses to get mauled by infected when we’re almost back.”

you nearly stopped dead in your tracks at the sound. it was almost as if taerae was psychic sometimes, and you were hoping like hell you were just hearing things. a deep, throaty growl sounded off behind you once more, and when you turned your head to look, your eyes widened at the sight of a mob forming behind you. you supposed that this was to be expected, especially considering it had grown darker a lot sooner than it normally did, but it still put fear in your heart. 

taerae gently urged you forward, “we need to go, now!”

even if the size of the mob was manageable, it certainly did not mean the two of you should take it on. the moment you were to do that, more were likely to start showing up and you would be doomed. taerae grabbed your hand as the two of you began to sprint, his grip on you preventing you from falling any further behind from your slight lack of speed. the rain had become heavier the closer you got to your hideout, skewing any good amount of vision you were hoping to have between your hair plastering to your skin and the weather limiting how far ahead you could see in front of you.

you cursed the month of december; it had always been one of your least favorite months, even before the outbreak, but now it was definitely taking the top spot for your most hated. ice had already begun to form on the road and sidewalks of the neighborhood and your boots were no longer gripping to anything. an intense jolt of pain shot through your knee the moment you lost your balance and smashed it into the pavement. you inhaled a sharp breath, struggling to regain your footing as taerae stopped to help pull you up. 

“they’re getting closer! come on, y/n, we’re only a few houses away!” 

you pushed your legs to keep going, no matter how much your knee was throbbing or your muscles felt like they were on fire. you desperately searched your surroundings in hopes of finding some sort of familiarity, and the moment you saw hanbin standing in the living room window of your hideout, you felt a wave relief wash over you. 

taerae pulled you up the front steps of the porch, making sure you got inside before he did, and kicking an infected back into the crowd and following you so it couldn’t force its way inside. hanbin slammed the door and locked the deadbolt the moment he was able to. your legs felt like jello and there was no mistaking the heavy breathing of taerae as he was hunched over, tossing his bag onto the ground. 

“did it get you?” hanbin sounded frantic as he shoved taerae’s right pant leg up, eyes scanning every inch of his skin for a mark of any kind left by the infected he had kicked back.

taerae scowled, shoving the older boy away from him with a smirk, “of course not. i would have felt it,” his gaze softened at hanbin’s solemn gaze, “i’m okay, don’t worry.”

hanbin nodded, his eyes flickering over to your hobbling frame as you attempted to make your way to the old couch you had been sleeping on since being in the house. you winced the moment you put any pressure on that knee, though, and within mere seconds hanbin had his arm snaked around your waist to help you get to your destination easier. 

you sat down, exhaling a shaky breath as you rolled up your own pant leg. your entire knee was already beginning to form a deep purple bruise and blood seeped from the small scrape that you figured you would have. you gingerly poked around the wound, mentally cursing yourself for losing your footing in the first place. 

“y/n took a pretty hard fall out there, i’m surprised they didn’t shatter their kneecap,” taerae spoke up.

a look of concern contorted hanbin’s face, “are you going to be able to function okay?” 

“i don’t know,” you truthfully replied, “i think i can as long as i nurse it or have some sort of support. i also think it would be best if we leave and try to find another shelter somewhere, we’ve definitely overstayed our welcome here.”

taerae scoffed, “are you out of your mind? there’s absolutely no way you can travel with your knee like that, let alone fight off any infected.”

“as much as i hate to admit it, i think y/n is right,” hanbin said, “besides, we’ve wiped out everything nearby that could possibly have usable supplies. there’s no way we can survive on what little we have until y/n is fully healed up.”

“not to mention, it seems like more and more infected are showing up around you here,” you added.

your gaze locked with taerae, who looked as if he could explode at any given moment. you knew he had the best of intentions, but it was crucial you left at dawn. sighing, you reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it in reassurance and muttering, “i’ll be okay, i promise. i can hold my own and as long as we wrap my knee up well, i’ll be able to walk normally. you know i wouldn’t say any of this if i didn’t think i could do it.”

taerae finally nodded in agreement, though his expression remained menacing as his eyes flickered between both you and hanbin.

“we better get some rest, we leave the moment the sun rises.”

iii.

it had been a couple of days since the three of you had set out from your hideout. to say you were exhausted was an understatement; you hadn’t found a shelter worthwhile to stay in, so you had to make camp in the most closed off spaces you could, usually in the woods. you hardly slept; it was far too cold to stay asleep for very long at all and if you did manage to get a couple hours in, you felt worse when you woke up.

you had to eat your supply of beans straight from the can because you had no way to cook them. scarfing them down wasn’t exactly ideal, and you dealt with taerae whining about it the most out of all of you. but, food was food, and you were lucky enough to have what you did. 

“if this map is correct,” hanbin interrupted the silence as the three of you continued walking down the same road you had set foot on, “this road should take us to the next town a couple miles out from where we are now.”

you felt a pang of excitement hit you, “maybe we’ll find better food there.”

“and somewhere a little more warm to sleep,” taerae added, the eagerness in his voice hard to ignore.

hanbin nodded, “we could probably make it there today if we keep up the pace we are,” he turned to look at you, “can you do that with your knee?”

truthfully, your knee felt like it was going to give out on you at any given moment. hanbin did the best he could with the little supplies you had to stabilize it enough so it didn’t hurt when you walked. it worked for the first day and half, but ever since your last stop to try and sleep, it’s been in an excruciating amount of pain. 

you still assured the two with a smile anyway, “i’ll be fine, i promise.”

as the three of you continued your journey, you couldn’t help but feel like every inch of your body was going numb. being out in the cold for the amount of time you had been was definitely not good for any of you, especially since the jackets you had were suitable only for autumn-like weather. snow had begun piling up on the first day of traveling, making things even more slick beneath your boots and the chill in the air to cut through every measly layer of clothing you adorned. 

you just hoped that hanbin was right about the town. for everyone’s sake.

— — —

“there’s a stream not too far from here, i’ll go and get some water while you change y/n’s bandages.”

hanbin was currently kneeling on the ground in front of you, teeth gritted together as he tried to keep from shivering too much while he focused on the task at hand, “just hurry back.”

with that, taerae set off into the woods where the stream could be seen from where your spot on a tree stump, his boots crunching the snow beneath them. one of the only perks about winter was being able to see through the usually dense areas a lot easier. 

you sighed, frustrated with yourself, “i’m sorry for setting us back.”

hanbin shook his head, “you don’t have to apologize, i know you wouldn’t ask to stop for the day if you were feeling okay.”

“maybe you should just leave me for the infected, i’m more of a burden right now than anything,” you half-joked, one corner of your mouth raising in a smile.

however, the boy in front of you didn’t find it to be very funny. his frown deepened and he locked his dark eyes with yours and grabbed your hand, his fingers chilled to the bone, and a seriousness radiating from his body, “i will never, ever leave you behind, even if it costs me my life. okay?” 

“the same will always go for you,” you squeezed his hand reassuringly. you would be an idiot if you didn’t admit the small smile he gave in return made your belly do backflips or the feeling of his hand in yours made you warm up just a little bit.

hanbin taped the remaining bandage together the best he could before rolling your pant leg down, careful not to roll his hard work down with the fabric of your jeans. you mumbled a thank you, standing up to make sure it was still secure and once you gave him a thumbs up, hanbin rose to his feet as well. 

by now, taerae made his way back to the two of you, extending the canteen of cool water out to you. taking it graciously, you took a few good sips before passing the object to hanbin. 

“what’s the plan now?” taerae inquired, scanning the brush around you in an attempt to find somewhere to set up camp for the night. 

hanbin shrugged, “maybe we should wait until morning to finish the hike to the convenience store. it’s almost dark now and i would hate to travel and have that be what kills us,” both you and taerae nodded in agreement. 

you parted your lips to speak, “let’s find somewhere to rest then, we have a long night ahead of us.”

— — — 

you desperately clung to hanbin and taerae, craving warmth more than ever. you were to the point now that moving hurt from how cold your entire body was. the small fire you had going earlier in the evening had to be put out before you slept so it didn't attract more infected that you wanted, so it was exponentially more difficult than any of your previous nights on the road or inside an abandoned home. 

morning began to break through the clouds in the sky, your surroundings illuminated by the dim light it provided to you. the snow glimmered all around you, and bad you not been freezing your ass off, you would have found it beautiful.  hanbin began to stir next to you, uttering a quiet, “did you get any sleep?”

“barely,” you mumbled back, taking note of the way taerae was snoring on your other side, sleeping soundly as if he wasn't on the frigid, hard ground in the middle of winter. you envied him, because no matter where you were, he was somehow able to sleep at least a few hours. 

hanbin lowly chuckled, “me either, but i’m glad to see it's going well for him.”

you peered up at hanbin through your lashes, taking in the gash just to the side of his right eye that was still healing from an encounter with a hostile group of survivors a few weeks ago. you reached up to touch it, gently tilting his head sideways to get a better look at it. you informed him, “it’s healing really well, i don't think the scar will be all that noticeable.”

“good, i’m glad,” he replied, and you missed the way his eyes followed you as you flipped around on your other side to begin rustling taerae awake. truthfully, you turned away because you were scared hanbin would catch on to the feelings you still somehow possessed for him, but waking taerae was also just as important. 

taerae grunted as he woke up, surprise evident in his face; almost as if he were worried something bad was happening, but when he realized it was just you, he relaxed almost immediately. “what time is it?” he asked, and you glanced down at the watch you adorned on your wrist, replying, “just barely after six.”

your morning was pretty relaxed after that. you took your time waking up and even managed to get another fire going so you could defrost yourselves before trekking back out into the snow toward your destination. your knee was feeling a lot better since taking a break and you were able to comfortably walk on it without needing some kind of support from either hanbin or taerae. 

your relaxation and bliss of the fire were quickly replaced with dread and hatred toward the cold as you trudged toward the town you were looking for. you still felt better, and your knee was much easier to walk on than previously, so you knew you'd at least be able to make it there while there was still daylight.

a soft gasp erupted from the boy on your right “what’s that up there?” the glee laced in taerae’s voice was hard to ignore upon him catching sight of gas pumps and the building next to them. 

you squinted to catch a better glimpse and couldn’t help the grin tugging at either corner of your mouth, “i think we’re here!”

hanbin chuckled, “you two sound like you’re arriving somewhere for a field trip.”

you nudged him slightly, the three of you unknowingly picking up your paces in pure excitement. you pulled out your weapons upon getting closer to the gas station, eyes and ears fully alert for any potential threats surrounding the area – infected or not. 

taerae extended his arm, quietly pulling the door open and holding his gun up in front of him as he walked inside. you were the next one inside with hanbin following up the rear, and once you were able to see that there was no imminent danger inside any of the rooms, you put your weapons away.

the sight you were greeted with was enough to almost bring the three of you to tears. there was at least four shelves of food and supplies that hadn’t been touched yet, which was extremely rare to come by at the point you were in with the apocalypse. 

“this has been well worth the wait,” taerae piped up, tossing a box of crackers, a package of hot dogs, and a few bottles of water into his backpack, “we finally don’t have to eat stupid fucking beans anymore.” 

“and we don’t have to hear you complain about it,” the eldest boy teased, mimicking the younger’s actions as he got a feel for everything there was to offer. 

you headed toward the back room, flicking the light on only to be greeted with a few makeshift mattresses the people here previously had left. you searched the drawers of the desk off to your right, greeted with a pad of paper and a pen as well as a few other items you found to be useful to the group. 

you tossed everything into your backpack and put it to the side, opting to tidy up the beds so everything was neatly arranged and each of the three of you had a spot to sleep. The padding on the floor was much softer than you expected it to be and you almost screeched in excitement when you stumbled upon a closet filled with thick coats. 

as you finished pulling them out of the closet, the other two were entering the room with grins adorning their faces. taerae saw you struggling to hold all the coats at once and came forward to help you, laughing at your misfortune when you dropped pretty much all of them on the floor. 

without a word, you began going through them and found ones in your sizes or at least close to them, sighing in content at the feeling of warmth they gave you once you slipped them on. you closed the door to the office, settling down onto the mattresses with the other two.

“do we want to stay here for a little bit before we head out again? or do we want to try and find a house?” hanbin asked, finally breaking the silence between the three of you and the analytical part of his brain speaking for him. 

you leaned back against the wall, your eyes trained on the ceiling, “i would be okay with either one. right now we’re at least guaranteed shelter, even if it’s only for a couple of days.”

“maybe we can stay for three or four days and see if we can find a house nearby,” taerae suggested. you all nodded, deciding that was the best plan you could come up with. 

you were just glad to have something go your way for once.

iv.

you stirred around on your spot on the floor, groggily coming out of one of the best sleeps you’ve had in months. you felt deliciously warm, sandwiched in between both taerae and hanbin, who were also just beginning to wake up. 

you smiled to yourself, propping your body up onto your elbow as your eyes scanned the area around you. it almost felt too good to be true, striking the jackpot with so much in one day. it was very rare the group of you ever had more than enough food to survive for a week, especially if there was more people with you, and here you were with everything you could have ever hoped for. you felt extremely grateful.

“why the hell are you up so early?” taerae groaned, flipping his arm over to look at the time on his watch before he covered his head with a pillow.

you chuckled at him, voice a hushed whisper so you didn't wake hanbin, who was still sleeping peacefully, “i don't know, i just couldn't sleep anymore.”

taerae huffed loudly before eventually sitting up, his hair tangled and messy and eyes still shut as he gained his bearings back. finally, he looked at you, playfully annoyed, and said, “i suppose you and i can rummage around for some more stuff while hanbin rests for a little longer. he never gets enough and he seems to actually be into a deep sleep.”

you peered over at the boy fondly, taking note of his soft snores and slightly agape mouth. taerae was right, and you did everything you could to be quiet before you left. you wrote a quick note on the pad of paper you found the previous day and left it where you slept so hanbin could easily find it if he woke up and you were still gone. 

you followed taerae out of the office, careful to not close the door too loudly just in case any infected had wandered in overnight. you seemed to be in the clear, and almost welcomed the crisp morning air as it hit your face and filled your lungs. there were a few other buildings nearby, abandoned cars as well, so you decided to scope them out and see what they had to offer. 

as you rummaged through a bag on the ground near one of the vehicles, taerae’s straightforward question caught you off guard, “are you ever going to tell hanbin that you like him?”

you were baffled, to say the least. you glanced up at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, before you finally managed to spit out, “that is not what i was expecting to talk about while we did this.”

“that's not an answer to my question,” taerae teased.

“no shit, sherlock,” you sarcastically remarked, deciding to keep a box of matches you'd found in that bag. you pondered his question before you answered him as you rose to your feet, avoiding eye contact and feeling yourself begin to blush, “i don't know, i mean, we’re in the middle of an apocalypse, i don't think it's the right time.”

“is there ever going to be a right time?”

his question made your mind start reeling. of course you'd /thought/ about telling hanbin, but you didn't want to ruin your friendship and most certainly didn't want to make things awkward considering you had to be around him until you either died and split off in your own ways. you thought he was way out of your league, anyway. there was no way he would ever like you back. you finally looked at taerae, a smug grin plastered on his face, and you stuck your tongue out, “quit being an ass.”

“y/n has a crush~” he sing-songed, skipping in annoying little circles around you and poking your sides annoyingly. you crossed your arms over your chest, giving taerae a blank stare until he stopped in front of you, his smile even wider now “you're blushing.”

you smacked his arm, earning a yelp from him, and hastily said, “no i’m not, it's just freezing out here.”

the two of you kept rummaging around, and after several minutes, taerae had done eerily quiet. you knew he was probably scheming something, because even amidst hell on earth, he always found a way to pull fast ones on you and hanbin. you shook your head, mentally preparing yourself for whatever it was he decided to do. 

but nothing came, and you were beginning to get worried. you had your upper body inside of another car, legs still dangling outside, after seeing one of the windows rolls down, and you were trying your best to grab onto a bottle of rubbing alcohol in the passenger seat. you desperately lunged for it, but to no avail. you decided to see if you could find taerae and make sure he was still alive and breathing. 

you attempted to shimmy your way backward out of the car, and felt panic set deep in your stomach at the feeling of something grabbing at your ankles. you tried like crazy not scream, but frantically began kicking in an attempt to get the infected off of you. a growl was able to be heard as it pulled you the rest of the way out the car, but you were able to get leverage and fully kick it off of you. turning around, you reached for your knife on your holster, fully prepared to kill it, but stopped with your hand gripping the handle upon seeing taerae standing behind you, mocking an infected far too well. 

“damn it, taerae!” you exclaimed, whacking him on the chest with your hand, “i could have killed you!”

he pointed menacingly, “but you didn't.”

“having fun out there?” the sound of hanbin’s voice broke the two of you out of your bickering, heads turning to see him leaning against the door frame of the gas station convenience store, a small smile curling up the corners of his lips, “looks like he got you good, y/n.”

you groaned in annoyance, “i can't believe you saw that,” you pushed taerae for good measure, “and you thought it was funny.”

hanbin shrugged, laughing along with you, “what can i say, i love a good prank when i see it.”

v.

you continued this little escapade at the gas station for a few days, more because the office was much warmer than outside and less because there was a plethora of supplies. all of the surrounding buildings ended up being a bust, completely ransacked before you even got there. thankfully you had the gas station, but it was only a matter of time before you would have to relocate. again. 

the three of you were sat in the office on the foam pieces you'd been using to sleep on, looking at the map smoothed out in front of you to determine your next route. you pointed to a small town north of where you were, but before you could say anything about it, you were pulled from your thoughts at the sound of voices and rummaging out in the main area of the building. you turned to the other two, eyes wide in panic, “do you hear that?” 

“yeah,” taerae was already moving to get up, his hand reaching for his gun placed on the desk beside him, “it sounds like people are trying to take our shit.”

“taerae, don’t” hanbin attempted to stop the younger boy from leaving the room, but his words went through one ear and out the other. his impulsivity never failed to amaze you. 

you sighed, shaking your head as he opened up the door, completely giving away your location to whatever was out in the main lobby. you rose to your feet as well, quick to follow him out and grab his hand in a futile attempt to pull him back and keep him from going on an unintentional murder spree. 

you were greeted by the bewildered gazes of a couple of boys, both very obviously malnourished and freezing, hands up in the air upon seeing taerae’s gun pointed at them. the boy in front of you two spoke up, subconsciously moving in front of the other one in a means to protect him from any harm.

“we aren't infected, i swear, we’re no threat to you,” his voice held both confidence and fear at the same time. you felt your gaze soften at their petrified expressions. 

you heard a harsh slap. “ow!” taerae exclaimed, turning around to face the eldest in your group, who had a grin on his face. taerae's hand gingerly rubbing the back of his head. 

he looked at the others, “you’ll have to excuse him, he can be a bit of a dickhead at times.”

you shoved taerae’s arm down, preventing him from holding the two at gunpoint any longer. he defeatedly sighed, tucking the weapon away into his pocket. he gave hanbin a scowl before muttering, “sorry.”

“that’s okay,” the taller boy spoke up, “we apologize for intruding, but we haven’t been able to eat for three days now and we were just happy to find supplies.”

“take whatever you want,” hanbin motioned to the shelves in front of them, a kind, gentle smile causing his eyes to take the shape of tiny crescents.

“thank you,” the boy opened up his bag, “i’m gunwook, by the way,” he motioned to the boy standing next to him, ”and this my brother, gyuvin.”

he smiled, giving a small wave, “nice to meet you.”

“nice to meet you too. i’m hanbin, and these are my friends taerae and y/n,” hanbin replied. he seemed almost giddy that you’d come across more people to speak and potentially form a group with. 

you cleared your throat, pointing your thumb at the office, “you guys look like you’re freezing, we found some coats if you want some.”

a wave of relief washed over gyuvin, “yes please, this is all we’ve had since winter started creeping up. i’m surprised we haven’t gotten frostbite yet.”

you led him back into the room you slept in, opening up the closet door to reveal the remaining coats. you helped him find his size, and when he couldn't zip it up from how stiff his fingers were, you did it for him, smiling at him afterward. gyuvin smiled back, but it held a hint of sadness. you didn't want to inquire why, especially since you’d just met them. 

he sifted through them and picked out one for gunwook. “thank you so much, really,” he sounded more grateful than you had felt when you first found them, “i’ve been really worried about what would happen the deeper we get into winter.”

“it’s not a problem. we weren’t going to use them anyway,” you looked at him as you began walking back to the rest of the group, “are you just passing through or finding somewhere to stay?” 

gyuvin made eye contact with his brother, as if he were scared to say anything, but gunwook gave him a nod of approval. he parted his lips to speak, facing the entire group, “we’re actually headed to seattle.”

“for what?” taerae inquired, brows furrowed in thought, “from what i’ve heard, it’s a dead city.”

gunwook chimed in, “a few people we met not too long ago told us they were going out to try and find others to bring back to this community they’ve built and sent us on our way. apparently they have a farm, horses, and a lot more supplies than people like us could ever hope to have,” he seemed so hopeful at the prospect of so many resources. 

“if you want, you guys can come with us. it would probably be a lot more beneficial to travel in a larger group anyway,” gyuvin offered, mainly making eye contact with hanbin since he was the one who appeared to have the most authority in your group.

he looked a bit hesitant, scanning the faces of both you and taerae, “do you guys want to talk about it?”

“yeah,” taerae was quick to answer, pointedly looking at the other two, feigning a fake smile, “we’ll be right back.”

the three of you locked yourselves away into the other room. taerae turned around, the expression on his face unreadable, but his words shocking both you and hanbin, “i think it’s a horrible fucking idea.”

hanbin scoffed, “and why is that?”

“these people literally just showed up not even ten minutes ago and you’re giving up our supplies and considering going with them to some community that we aren’t even sure exists,” taerae exclaimed, “plus, we /just/ lost the last of the other survivors we picked up. i’m sick of losing the people we grow close to.”

“i don’t know, taerae, i think we can trust them,” you told him, “besides, it’s better to have a larger group. you have to admit, traveling and finding supplies has been a lot harder with only three of us,” his shocked gaze met with yours and you did your best to reason with him, “they are extremely malnourished and only came to try and find food and you’re mad about that. what if it was us instead of them?”

he opened his mouth to retort something, but quickly closed it and shook his head, staring down at the floor. you gave hanbin a knowing look, a small smile on your face. 

he nodded, “it’s settled then. we’re going to seattle.”

vi.

as you walked with your newly formed group, you couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. taerae was right; you were still navigating the feelings of your other group mates dying, but you were still less anxious when there was more of you together. you had almost given up hope that there even was anyone else. 

taerae had remained silent almost the entire time you had been traveling. he was still nervous about grouping together with the strangers you had met the previous day, which you understood, but you were confused as to why it was suddenly a problem when you'd done it countless times before. another thing that bothered you was the fact that he was giving both you and hanbin the silent treatment. you scanned the other three in front of you, who were conversing about when they should set up camp for the night, and sighed, grabbing taerae's arm and making him wait until you were a few paces behind. hesitantly, you met your gaze with his, your voice as stern as you could make it when you spoke. 

“what’s your problem?”

taerae looked taken aback by how blunt and straightforward you were with your question. his bewildered gaze almost immediately went back to the scowl he had previously been adorning. he shook his head, his response short as he said, “it’s nothing, y/n.”

“well, you sure aren’t acting like it’s nothing,” you retorted, rolling your eyes at how stubborn the boy was being. however, your gaze softened upon seeing his frown deepen, “talk to me. this isn’t like you.”

taerae pondered your words for a moment before finally admitting his worries to you, “i guess i’m just scared.” “scared about what?”

“getting close to them and losing them like we did the others. they could be selfish, too. we don’t know a single thing about them and if we get in a situation where someone’s life is on the line, i fear they’re going to leave us without much thought,” his voice grew quiet upon his confession. you swore you could feel your heart break in your chest at his next words, “i can’t lose you and hanbin.”

you reached out and laced your fingers with his, squeezing gently in reassurance and forcing him to look at you, “as long as you, hanbin, and i are loyal to each other, that’s all that matters, right? all we have to do is back each other up if the other two happen flake on us.”

taerae’s eyes were glossed over in clear appreciation for your words, his grip tightening on your hand, “thank you.”

“you don’t have to thank me. it’s what i’m here for,” you teased, nudging the boy playfully with your shoulder. the smile on his face was refreshing to see after having him upset the entire day since leaving the gas station. 

the two of you caught back up with the rest of the group, who had come to a halt to scope out the area surrounding you all. the woods appeared to be significantly thicker, which provided more protection from any of the infected that lurked in the shadows at night. it would also be easier to make a shelter to sleep in overnight. 

gunwook turned, asking the two of you, “what do you think?”

taerae was the first to speak, “i think it’s definitely a decent spot for now. it looks like we might be able to have an area for a fire as well.”

to say you were shocked was an understatement. hanbin shared a look with you, a grin threatening to tug at the corners of his mouth. you knew the eldest was worried that taerae was going to stay in his funk for days on end, but the look of relief was enough to cause you to feel it too. the boy winked at you, asking the group, “should we split into shifts to keep watch over everything?”

“i’m not opposed to the idea,” gyuvin piped up, pulling his coat closer to his body. it was clear he was still freezing despite having a lot more warmth than when you first met him, “i can take the first one if you want.”

it was your turn to pitch in, “i’ll join you, it’s best to work in teams of two.”

he gave you a grateful smile. you honestly thought that he’s someone you could wind up being really good friends with. you just wished it didn’t have to be because the apocalypse brought you together.

— — — 

the evening came quickly once camp was set up for the night. hanbin and gunwook had managed to get a pretty decent fire going considering the fact that most of the wood you all found was damp or frozen from the snow. you all had welcomed the warmth with open arms.

since everyone was able to take most of the supplies from the gas station, the thin foam that you had used for mattresses the night before were now neatly laid out on the ground in a dense thicket of trees that had already formed somewhat of a shelter. It was certainly a lot better than what you, hanbin, or taerae had made in the past. 

one thing taerae was particularly happy about was being able to warm up some of the food you guys had. he even accepted the beans with a smile instead of turning up his nose to them, which caused both you and hanbin to giggle at him. 

the five of you sat around the fire, recounting your stories of what happened when the outbreak was first announced. taerae was laughing his head off, stating, “y/n really thought i was joking when i went into their room and told them what was happening.”

you threw a wadded up wrapper at him, “in my defense, he is constantly messing with me,” you looked at gyuvin and gunwook, who were laughing along with you, and joked, “watch out for him, because soon he'll be pranking you guys too.”

“what were you guys doing?” hanbin asked the two of them, and they sat deep in thought for a moment, gyuvin finally telling them, “i’m pretty sure we were staying the night at our brother’s house. if i’m remembering correctly, it was a friday, and we usually did stuff together after school.”

“yeah, it was, i think we were getting ready to go out to dinner,” gunwook added, “and instead of getting in the car normally, it felt like we were the main characters of an action movie or something. ricky drove like a maniac.”

you laughed at the image you had in your head of not only their experience, yours as well, “taerae ran one of our neighbors over when we were trying to get off of our street.” 

gunwook’s eyes widened, his smile stretched from ear to ear as he said, “becoming a murderer early on, i see.”

your laughter began to die down as the sun started to set, and your playful conversation turned into solemn ones. hanbin stared at the dancing flames, quietly asking, “i hope this isn't prying too much, but how did it end up just being the two of you?”

gyuvin sighed. you could tell this was a touchy subject, but he was willing to answer hanbin's question, “he got turned not too long ago. we got ambushed by the biggest mob of infected we’ve ever encountered since the outbreak,” his voice cracked as he said the next part, “he shielded us the entire time we were fighting them.”

“he ended up getting bit and made us tie him to a tree so we would have time to run,” gunwook’s solemn gaze made your heart twinge in sadness for them. you couldn't imagine losing hanbin or taerae like that, if at all, and wondered how your new friends were even managing to push through. 

taerae gave the pair a close-lipped smile, “it sounds like he was an amazing brother to have.”

“yeah,” gyuvin seemed deep in thought, a stray tear racing down his cheek, “he was.”

— — —

as soon as darkness engulfed the woods, gunwook, hanbin, and taerae settled down and drifted off to sleep, which left you and gyuvin sat by the fire to keep watch over the camp. the boy was sat across from you, his knees drawn up to his chest and his gaze fixed on the flickering flames that illuminated his face. he was practically glued to gunwook’s side. 

softly, he questioned, “hey, can i ask you something?”

you glanced at him, confusion painted across your features, “of course, what’s up?” 

he sighed. it looked like he was contemplating even saying something to begin with, but finally, after you assumed he won his internal battle, he asked, “does taerae hate gunwook and i or something? he seemed angry when we first met and i don’t want us to intrude on whatever the three of you were hoping to do.”

“no, he doesn’t hate you at all,” you reassured, which caused his shoulders to visibly relax. you fell silent for a moment, gazing over at the boy who was curled up as close to hanbin as the eldest would allow. he looked so at peace, which you rarely ever saw from him. you turned back to the boy across from you, “he’s just incredibly protective of the two of us. it’s really been only us together since the start of all of this and he doesn’t want to lose either of us, is all.”

“i completely understand that,” gyuvin replied, shifting to now lean back against the tree stump behind him, “i hope you never have to go through what we did, that's for sure.” 

“could i ask you a question now?”

gyuvin nodded, “sure.”

“i noticed this the other day, but you just seem to get sad whenever i’m around, and i wanted to make sure it was nothing i was doing,” you were hoping that you didn't seem like you were accusing him of anything, and he most definitely didn't take it that way. 

he offered a sad smile with his answer, “you just remind me a lot of ricky, is all. you guys are very similar in terms of personality.”

“well, i know i can't ever fill his spot, but i can still be there to support you throughout this entire journey we’re on.”

a small cry escaped gyuvin’s lips as he angrily wiped his tears away from his cheeks, “thank you, it really means a lot to hear that.”

once he collected himself, the two of you fell into a comfortable conversation, telling stories from your childhood and even some crazy ones of times where you thought you were going to die in the midst of the apocalypse. for the first time in a while, you felt content. at peace, even.

you hoped it would happen more often. 

— — —

the woods were serene at night when you didn't have to fear for your life. the soft chirps of the crickets, the occasional hoot of an owl, and even the crackle of the fire brought you a sense of comfort and security you hadn't felt for a very long time; since the start of the apocalypse, really. but for whatever reason, you just couldn't sleep.

maybe it was because you were thinking back on your conversation with taerae and the concerns he expressed about losing you or hanbin. or maybe it was the added stress of gyuvin and gunwook’s story. it could have been something entirely different, but you just couldn't doze off for the life of you. 

you huffed out a frustrated sigh, eventually sitting up from your cocoon on the ground and scanning the areas surrounding the fire. the only one awake was hanbin, taerae having dozed off again shortly after being woken up for his shift. hanbin insisted he didn't mind, especially since everything seemed to be relaxed, but you still felt bad he had to stay awake entirely on his own. 

he glanced over at you, gentle smile quirking up the corners of his mouth as he whispered, “can’t sleep?”

you shook your head as a response, eventually making your way over to his post and plopping down next to him, the fire emitting a slightly warmer flow of air in your direction. hanbin peered down at you, a fond smile ever so slightly on his lips, and you swore the butterflies in your stomach might give your feelings away. instead, you scooted closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder and fixing your gaze on the fire. 

you could feel the pressure of hanbin’s head resting on top of yours, his voice almost inaudible as he asked, “do you think anything will ever return to normal? like sometime in the future, do you think there's a chance things will go back to the way they used to be?”

a heavy silence hung in the air as you pondered his question, absentmindedly beginning to pick at a string hanging down from inside of hanbin’s coat sleeve. you could feel your eyes begin to gloss over as you thought about the nights you'd spend pestering hanbin while he attempted to do his coursework for college, or how you'd always give taerae advice on songs he'd written on his guitar. everything was so much simpler, so much /better./

“i don't think so,” you gave your honest response to him, “i mean, everything is destroyed and gone. it'll take years and years to even get rid of the infected, let alone rebuild the entire country to what it used to be,” a shaky sigh from you followed suit to your words, leaving hanbin to think on them. 

he clicked his tongue, “then i guess we’ll have to make a new normal, right?”

“i suppose so,” you hummed, “but how would we go about that?”

“i don't know, but hopefully we’ll figure it out.”

conversations with hanbin were always something you treasured. he gave you new perspectives on things that you wouldn't have even considered before and logically thought through everything. you admired him for that, and it was one of the many reasons you developed feelings for him in the first place. but you knew, deep down, that you wouldn't be able to live the life you wanted with him. you doubted he even returned your feelings.

besides, there would always be infected in the way.

vii.

having new friends that you actually got along with made a huge difference in your travels. there was a lot more team work, laughs, and supplies that you were able to get your hands on. it was arguably the most productive you'd ever been and the quickest you had gotten to know strangers. it felt like you were friends for your entire life. 

it didn't take gyuvin very long to catch on to your feelings for hanbin, and soon he was teasing you alongside taerae when you weren't in earshot of him. gyuvin’s antics were far less intense, and he asked you lots of questions about why you'd grown so fond of the eldest boy. he listened with open ears and was able to see the mannerisms that hanbin displayed easily after your conversations with him.

it felt nice to just gush to someone who would listen to you. 

you were currently attempting to break into a shed to see if there was any useful weapons inside considering gyuvin’s was starting to give out on him. you lunged forward, hitting your hip into the rotted out door, and it gave way easier than you thought. you coughed as dust and wood chips rained down toward the dilapidated floors. 

there was a lone infected inside, which was fighting for its life to even hobble over toward you, and you swiftly put it out of its misery, watching in disgust as it crumpled to the floor. you stepped over its now limp body, gyuvin's following closely behind, exploring the shed further than just standing in the doorway. you kept your knife out just in case you were to come across anymore, eyes scanning your surroundings in an attempt to fine something that would hold up. 

“i don't think this is a question i asked you yet,” gyuvin broke the silence, “but have you ever considered telling hanbin how you feel?”

you had to hold back from bursting into a fit of laughter, taking a deep breath, before you chuckled, “you and taerae are so similar it's crazy.”

you ducked under a cobweb in front of you, careful not to disrupt it in fear of a spider crawling on you. gyuvin mimicked your actions, inquiring, “why do you say that?”

“he asked me the same exact thing.”

you were now standing in front of a wall of rusted weapons. gyuvin looked slightly defeated, but instead of dwelling on that, he turned his attention back to you, “well, it's not a horrible question. i mean, it's better late than never, right?”

you just giggled at him, crouching down to open up a door on a workbench, “i guess so. maybe i will someday, when we’re in seattle or something. that way if he rejects me, i’ll have a home to go into and sulk.”

gyuvin’s cackle echoed inside the barn. you flared up at him, pulling the machete you found out from the self, pointing it at him jokingly, before you threatened, “keep it up and i’ll cut your head off with this and feed it to an infected.”

“hey!”

you handed your find to gyuvin, who admired it in awe, mouth slightly agape and a plethora of thank you's slipping past his lips. the two of you made your way back outside, meeting up with the other three who were attempting to get a car started, but to no avail. gunwook was turning the key in the ignition but had no success of getting the engine to turn over. 

“i take it this whole car thing is a lost cause?” you inquired, looking at the three of them inquisitively. taerae and hanbin had their heads underneath the hood of the car, inspecting the engine in order to, what you assumed, find out what was wrong with it. 

gunwook attempted to turn the key again, and while the vehicle made sound, it was more along the lines of grinding than anything else. he finally looked at you and gyuvin, “i think so, we’ve been working on it for an hour now and nothing has worked.”

“i mean, we’ve walked this much already. we really can't miss what we never had, right?” gyuvin reasoned as he attached his new machete to is pants. 

gunwook shrugged, “i suppose so,” he looked almost bummed out, “it just would have been nice to take a break from walking.”

hanbin shut the hood of the car, now gaining your attention. his hands were smeared with grease and a fine layer of sweat had broken out across his forehead. you blinked a few times, finally finding it in you to tear your eyes away from him. 

you parted your lips to speak, motioning to the road ahead, “guess we better get moving while it's still light out.”

— — —

you’d volunteered to take the last shift of watch for the night. you knew you wouldn't really be able to sleep anyway, so you didn't mind, and would rather everyone else get some well deserved rest instead. this was a common thing for you now, not being able to sleep. you just couldn't get your mind to ever shut up. usually, it was creating the most morbid scenarios, which would either cause nightmares or for you to be so paranoid you felt you had to stay awake. 

you supposed that's what came with life during an apocalypse, but it didn't make it any easier. you wished so badly that you could just go back to normal, or that this was just some cruel, twisted dream you could wake up from. but it wasn't, and you were stuck here fantasizing about a life you would never have again. 

the fire crackled softly, illuminating the surrounding area in a peaceful orange glow. you could hear the soft breaths of everyone, a slight snore emitting from taerae, and you smiled to yourself. seeing the people you'd grown to care about so still and calm brought a sense of comfort to you, and almost made it feel like you were at a sleepover of some sort. 

you heaved a sigh, drawing your knees up to your chest and resting your chin on your arms. you sat like that for a while, mind reeling with all the opportunities you were missing out on, and a stray tear raced down your face. there was gentle rustling next to you, and soon after, hanbin rose up from his place on the ground, a sleepy smile stretching across the expanse of his face. 

“i feel bad you're not getting any rest,” his voice was raspy with sleep as he spoke. he shifted his body so he could be sitting up next to you. he extended his legs in front of him, a yawn catching him by surprise, “if you want to try and get some before we leave, i can take over watch.”

you pondered it for a moment, finally nodding in defeat, and began to stretch out on the ground yourself. however, he caught you off guard, putting his lap, and murmuring, “you can use me as a pillow if you want, i know not having one isn't the most ideal.”

you could feel your heartbeat in your throat at his offer, silently nodding as you shifted your weight around, finally settling onto the ground and lowering your head onto his thighs, a content sigh slipping past your lips. you had to admit, he was right, and you didn't think you would be doing this when you first woke up that morning. hanbin pulled the blanket over you, enveloping you in a warmth you hadn't felt in a very long time.

delicately, he threaded his fingers through your hair, and your eyes fluttered shut at the contact. you sighed contentedly, mumbling a soft, “thank you,” to which hanbin chuckled quietly.

the feeling of his hand massaging your scalp caused your body to relax much quicker than you thought it would, and you were soon fighting to stay awake and relish in the feeling of it. before you finally succumbed to sleep, you swore you could could hear him barely whisper, “i’ll be here when you wake up, my love.”

viii.

“y/n, hanbin, wake up!” a voice pulled you from the surprisingly deep slumber you had fallen into despite the frigidly cold temperatures. an extremely panicked voice, though, the person’s hands gripping your shoulder and shaking you lightly in an attempt to get you to hurry. 

you shot up from your nest of blankets and hanbin’s legs, body close to taerae the moment you did so. your gaze locked with his, and instantly, you knew something was horribly wrong. he was quick to answer your suspicions, “infected, there’s a lot and we need to get moving,” hanbin cursed quietly under his breath next to you, angry at himself for even dozing back off in the first place. 

quick to get on your feet, you began shoving the blankets into your bag - rather haphazardly, might you add - your hands shaking from the anxiety you felt from the situation. hanbin remained close to you throughout the process, packing away the food you guys had left sitting out through the night. you glanced around, taking note that the other three were still within your line of vision, and you felt slightly relieved knowing everyone was still in a general vicinity of one another. 

a deep, rumbling growl resonated to the left of you. you turned, being greeted by an infected with outstretched arms haphazardly swinging at you, and his jaw hanging slack as he approached you. his flesh was missing in chunks around his cheekbones and his eyes were beginning to sink in from the disease. his hair was in matted, pale blonde tufts on his head. you’d never gotten the chance to actually see an infected’s features in tact like this before, and to say you were shocked was an understatement. he must have been freshly turned. 

you scrambled backwards the closer he approached, pulling your knife out from its holster on your pant leg. however, the pained cry of gyuvin stopped you from killing it right then and there.

“ricky?” 

the walker turned his head quickly at the sound of his name and you felt your heart lurch in your chest. the boy was attempting to run forward, but gunwook was able to wrap his arms around him before he could make it any further, “gyu, you can’t, there’s no saving him. you know that.”

you made eye contact with his brother, desperately searching for what to do, but his solemn and knowing expression told you everything. he turned gyuvin around, pulling him close to his chest, one of his hands holding the back of his head as he sobbed, “don’t look, okay?”

to ensure you didn’t overthink what you were about to do, you swung your knife forward, sinking it deep into the side of ricky’s neck. he sputtered loudly, dark crimson blood spraying out from the wound and onto your hand and sleeve of your jacket, some of it speckling on your face in the process. you twisted the knife and pressed your boot to his chest to shove him away as he fell, throwing your bag onto your back in a haste. 

“come on, there’s more following in behind him,” hanbin grabbed onto your arm the moment you hesitated, realizing just exactly what you had done. 

it wasn’t supposed to be difficult killing infected, yet here you were.

you followed behind him, meeting up with the rest of the group before everyone began to run on the same road you had been following to seattle. none of you really had time to take in everything that had happened in the past five minutes due to the large mob following hot on your trail, their wicked screams echoing through the empty fields that surrounded you. 

your breathing was erratic, legs and lungs both burning from the amount of energy you were putting into getting away from them. the road was slick with thick ice and it made it difficult to get any sort of traction. over the yelling, you were able to make out taerae’s voice, “keep an eye out for any kind of shelter!”

you squinted, scanning for anything up ahead that could prove useful to the group of you. however, gunwook was the first to notice something, “right over there! it looks like an old farmhouse!”

you took a sharp turn onto the gravel driveway that led up to quite a tucked away house, pushing your legs to go faster. the sooner you got there, the better it was for the group overall. the mob behind you was starting to lessen the more you ran, thankfully, and by time you got to the front door the five of you only had to kill a few before you could stop and catch your breath. 

nobody hesitated to go inside, careful to clear each room and make sure infected hadn’t wandered in. taerae rounded the corner of the kitchen, announcing, “i think we’re safe for now. we should probably rest for a minute before we leave again.”

“would it hurt to explore? see what this place has to offer?” gyuvin asked, the tremble in his voice hard to miss as he spoke. tears stained his face, streaked through the layers of dirt caked on his cheeks and revealing the pale skin beneath it. he was suffering, and rightfully upset, so you knew there was no consoling him until he was able to calm down and have some time to just himself. 

hanbin gauged everyone’s reactions, eyes resting on your blood splattered face, gaze softening. he parted his chapped lips, stating, “honestly, depending on what’s here, we could always stay for a few days and actually think of a better plan instead of just winging it and something like this happening again.”

“i’d have to agree on this one,” gunwook replied, “i don't want something like that to ever happen again, really.”

everyone wordlessly began to rummage around in the house, searching for anything that could be useful. you took note of how clean the place was despite the apocalypse occurring in the outside world. you turned into the bathroom, twisting the knob of the faucet on as a joke, only to be pleasantly surprised at the sound of running water. “guys! the water here works!” you called, dipping your finger under the stream, excitement bubbling into the pit of your belly, “and it’s warm!”

“the pantries and fridge are stocked full of food as well,” hanbin piped up, the excitement evident in his voice, “and there’s power? this place is loaded!”

“the people who were here previously must either be out or newly turned,” taerae remarked. 

it only brought you to the harsh reality of what had just happened. 

your gaze snapped up to your reflection in the mirror. ricky’s blood managed to get smeared across your cheek and mixed into the dirt and grime that had made a home on your skin quite some time ago now. your hand was stained red and your sleeve still heavily damp with blood, which you swore you could smell, and it made you feel sick.

you hurriedly shut the door and fell to your knees in front of the toilet, wretching at the stench and realization that you killed someone’s brother, gyuvin and gunwook’s brother, and you had to live with that for the remainder of time you were with them. a soft cry pushed out of your lungs as you vomited again, completely emptying the contents of your stomach, and you felt you couldn't do it another time. you flushed the toilet and sighed, staring at yourself in the mirror once more.

a quiet knock was able to be heard on the bathroom door and you opened it, greeted by hanbin, who’s eyes were concerned and his lips were contorted into a deep frown. “y/n?” hanbin’s voice was soft, “are you okay?”

and you burst into tears. 

hanbin pulled you close, his embrace strong around your body. you were sure you’d collapse onto the ground if he wasn’t holding onto you at that moment. he rocked your bodies slightly, humming into your ear as a means to calm you down in some sort of way, “you did what you had to do. gunwook wouldn’t have told you to do it if he didn’t think it was necessary.” 

you tried like hell to get the butterflies in your stomach to go away as he pressed a quick, comforting kiss to the crown of your head. not when you had just killed gyuvin’s brother and you were reaping the consequences of that. 

you shook your head, getting ready to respond to him, but were stopped by the sound of gyuvin choking on his sobs as he sat on the couch. gunwook’s voice attempted to comfort him, “i know it hurts, but you and i both know ricky would rather be put out of his misery than stay infected.”

“i could have prevented this all, wook, that’s the problem.”

“don’t do that to yourself. he wouldn’t have let you stay with him no matter the circumstances,” gunwook reassured him, “let’s go see about a bath for you and clean up, yeah? maybe that’ll make you feel better.”

their voices faded away as they headed upstairs. you gripped onto hanbin tighter, fists balled into the fabric of his jacket, letting out your own cry. you wouldn't blame gyuvin if he hated you for the rest of your time together. you would be angry if the roles were reversed, so you couldn't even fault him for that.

“y/n, i think maybe we need to do what gyuvin and gunwook are doing and get you cleaned up,” hanbin was gentle with you, pulling away from the hug slightly to get a better look at your face. his thumb came up to wipe the fresh tears away from your eyes, and you found solace in how nicely he was treating you. 

you sat there for a moment, relishing in the feeling, before you pulled out of the hug to avoid getting overwhelmed with any more emotions, shrugging your jacket off to rid yourself of the reminder of what you’d done not even an hour ago. you sat down on the toilet after putting the lid down and allowed hanbin to get a shower started, your entire body going numb in the process.

at this point, you hoped an infected would take you.

viiii.

you felt unusually warm, though you weren’t complaining in the slightest. sighing softly, you shifted around on the mattress beneath you, tired eyes attempting to open but failing miserably. an arm was slung lazily around you, soft breaths of the sleeping boy in front of you the only thing able to be heard other than the rustling of the blankets.

you finally gained the energy to open your eyes, at least halfway, and you were greeted by the sight of a peaceful looking hanbin, his hair sitting beautifully across his forehead and his lips curled up slightly in the corners. 

your heart felt like it was found to beat out of your chest. You had cuddled with both him and taerae a number of times throughout your attempts to survive, but never like this. you were the only one in the room with the dark haired boy, eyes trained on his serene face and your stomach doing backflips.

hanbin took a deep breath, his eyelids fluttering open, and he gazed at you with a quiet chuckle. he parted his lips to speak, voice deep and raspy from having just awoken from his slumber, “good morning, sleepyhead.”

“i don’t think i’m the sleepyhead here,” you giggled, poking your index finger into his chest, “i was awake way before you were.” you paused before asking, “how did i end up in your bed, anyway?”

though he woke up with a slightly playful demeanor, it quickly faded with a frown that tugged harshly at his lips, his brows creased and his eyes searching yours, “i figured you were too out of it to remember. you had a really rough night trying to grasp the fact that you killed ricky. taerae had fallen asleep relatively early and i just offered for you to sleep in here so you didn’t have to be alone.”

you were so caught up in the bliss of feeling safe and warm you almost forgot about ricky. 

hanbin caught on quickly to your mood change and to the fact that tears instantly glossed your eyes over. he reached his hand out, calloused thumb collecting the liquid as it dropped down onto your cheeks.

“you did what you had to,” he reassured.

all you had to offer him was a sad smile, “it definitely doesn’t feel like it. i wouldn’t be surprised if gyuvin doesn’t talk to me at all, i know if the roles were reversed i wouldn’t say a thing to him.”

he opened up his arms for you, inviting you to snuggle deeper into his chest. you obliged, allowing the boy to hold you while soft sobs erupted from your lips. quietly, he said, “once he realizes you did it out of good intentions he’ll come around. i know he will.”

you nodded, trying your best to convince yourself that what he was telling you had some sort of truth to it. you closed your eyes and relished in the boy's embrace, fearing that he would be able to hear how loud your heart was beating while you laid with him like this. you felt his lips graze your forehead, his warm breath fanning across your skin as he said, “i have something i wanted to tell you.”

you opened your eyes back up at his words, looking at him inquisitively, “what's that?”

“i know now might not be a good time, but i just wanted to tell you that i have a c-”

he was interrupted by the sound of knuckles rapping against the door to your shared room, “hanbin?” taerae’s voice called from the other side. 

the door knob twisted and he swung it open, beginning to step into the room before stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of the two of you cuddled up together. his posture was still and something unreadable flashed in his eyes, his tone monotonous as he spoke, “apparently i’m interrupting something, but i just wanted to let you know that gunwook is almost done cooking breakfast for whenever you decide to join us.”

with that, he shut the door rather harshly in his wake, the sound of his heavy footsteps receding down the stairs the only thing filling the silence he left behind. sighing, hanbin was the first to speak, “i assume he’s in one of his moods.”

“probably so,” you agreed with a nod, “i’m going to head down and attempt some sort of damage control. maybe we can finish this conversation later?”

hanbin nodded, “okay, i’m going to change my clothes and i’ll be down after that,” he replied offering you a soft, reassuring smile as you slipped your boots on and opened the door. 

once you reached the dining room, you took note of taerae’s hostile attitude as he shoved scrambled eggs down his throat, his facial features set in a deep scowl. he looked up when you entered, shoving his chair back, the legs scraping harshly against the floor. the boy rose to his feet and stalked past you, spitting, “i’m going on a walk.”

“you can’t go alone, it’s too dangerous,” gunwook called out in an attempt to get taerae to stay within the confines of the farmhouse. 

taerae scoffed, “i don’t think i fucking asked.”

he stepped out onto the front porch and began walking down the gravel driveway, his hands shoved into his pockets as he did so. you heaved a sigh, “i’ll go with him. i think it’s me he’s upset with anyway.”

“just be safe, we can’t afford to lose anyone,” gyuvin’s voice was quiet, but you still gave him an appreciative smile before following taerae out the door. 

you broke into a jog to catch up with his long stride, finally managing to walk beside him. you grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. searching his eyes, you asked, “what’s wrong? did i do something?”

a look of annoyance adorned his face as he shook your hand away, “when i said i was going on a walk, i meant /without you/.” he started walking again, this time his pace much quicker than before in an attempt to get you to go back to the house. however, you were just as stubborn as he was. you stood your ground and continued following him.

“i don’t think it’s very fair for you to be in a pissy mood with everyone and not give a reason as to why,” you snapped, now gaining his full attention as he whipped around to face you, anger evident in his eyes. 

“you’re joking, right? /i’m/ the one being unfair?” he scoffed, “that’s rich coming from you, y/n.”

you gave him a dry laugh, rolling your eyes in the process, “i don’t even know what i did.”

“go ask your new boyfriend, i’m sure he could know.”

“so that’s what you’re upset about? we literally just shared a bed,” your futile attempt to reason with him went in one ear and out the other as he turned his back to you again and trudged onto a path in the woods, his fists balled up beside him. 

he suddenly stopped in a clearing, his shoulders tensing and his head bowed as if he were contemplating something. he sucked in a breath, though you didn’t expect him to raise his voice at you, “i don’t think you’re capable of understanding signs that are put directly in front of you and it’s so fucking frustrating!”

“i genuinely don't know what you're talking about taerae, please just tell me so we can fix it,” you shouted back, “it's not okay to just yell at me and not give a reason why.”

taerae closed his eyes and took a deep breath, almost as if to calm himself down, and in a completely different tone he said, “i just feel like you and hanbin are excluding me. it's obvious you two like each other and i just feel like an outcast now.”

“first of all, i doubt hanbin likes me back,” you started, holding your hand up to hush him when he tried to interrupt you, “and second, i’m sorry if we have made you feel that way. i never want you to feel sad because of something i have done, so i will do better and fix it.” 

taerae nodded, “i’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“it's okay, if you have any other issues just come to me like this instead of getting mad and storming out,” you playfully scolded, beginning to walk back toward the house. hanbin was stood in the doorway watching the two of you, a fond smile on his face. 

taerae leaned over, whispering in your ear, “he's crazy about you, trust me.”

you blushed a deep red, smacking him on the arm, “stop it!”

“just speaking the truth,” he shrugged matter-of-factly, unable to suppress the grin on his face as he bounded up the stairs and greeted hanbin, returning to the dining table to finish up his breakfast.

you stopped outside, locking your gaze with hanbin's, trying like crazy not to blush or make it obvious that you were flustered. he was quick to ask, “is everything okay now?”

“yeah, he just needed calmed down,” you told him, laughing as you said, “i’m shocked we didn't get attacked by infected with how loud he was yelling.”

“maybe he scared them away,” hanbin mused. 

hanbin allowed you to enter the house first, muttering something about how you should have grabbed a jacket because it's freezing out, and you playfully bantered as you sat at the table with the rest of the group. you were across from taerae, who gave you a knowing look, and you had to look away from him.

it was comical to watch him try not to yell because you kicked him under the table.

x.

your group had made the decision to stay at the farmhouse until you ran out of resources. its owners never returned, never fended you away from their property or supplies, and you sure as hell didn't want anyone else to take it from you. besides, if you could be stable there for a bit, it would give ample time to rest and complete your journey to seattle when it was warmer outside.

spring came quicker than you'd hoped, but while the weather was still unpredictable, you didn't plan on going anywhere. instead, you build a functioning garden to at least try and sustain yourselves as much as possible, opting to grow some vegetables. you mainly took care of them, which is where you were currently, your hands deep in the potting soil in an attempt to move a few of your crops around to some bigger pots you'd found in the shed a couple days ago. 

your heart jolted in your chest when a figure crouched down next to you, but soon relaxed upon seeing it was hanbin, offering you a helping hand, “i always feel bad you're out here doing this on your own most days.”

“i don't mind it, really,” you shrugged, scooping up some dirt in your hand and patting it around the plant to stabilize it in its new home, “it brings a little bit of comfort, reminds me of the days before the outbreak.”

he nodded in understanding, helping you finish up what you were doing before he quietly asked, “wanna go for a walk?”

you weren't sure why he was suddenly asking this, but you could use a break to stretch out your legs. you you wiped your hands off on your jeans to shake the excess dirt off, and then ran them under the water spigot to clean them as much as you could. hanbin opened up the gate after you signaled you were ready, allowing you to go first and step down onto the path you used to walk down to the creek in the woods.

a comfortable silence fell between the two of you, the quiet chirps of the birds filling your ears and the cool breeze ruffling through your hair. it was peaceful, and you had to admit, it was bringing you a sense of happiness you hadn't felt in such a long time. 

hanbin stopped once he got to a clearing, settling down on a patch of grass by the water and patting the spot next to him for you. plopping down almost instantly, you quirked an eyebrow up at him, questioning, “is there any particular reason we’re here?”

while you expected him to say he just wanted to make sure you were giving yourself a break, he surprised you by answering, “yeah, actually, there is.”

you cocked your head to the side, silently urging him to go on. he nervously swallowed, finally turning to face you, a sudden confidence dancing in his dark irises, “you know that conversation we were having a couple weeks ago before taerae threw his tantrum?”

“yes?” you answered hesitantly, not entirely sure where he was wanting to go with this. you felt the butterflies in your belly begin to dance when you took note of the way his eyes briefly flickered down to your lips, but it was over as soon as it happened. 

“well, um, i just wanted to finish that conversation, because it's been bothering me for a while and i just need to get this out.”

his burning gaze met yours, a fond smile curling up the corners of his mouth. you could feel your heart begin to beat in your chest, praying to god he couldn't tell how visibly flustered you were. he reached his hand up to brush a strand of your hair out of your face, parting his lips to speak, “i have a crush on you, y/n, i have for a while.”

while it was a simple confession, it was something you would treasure for the rest of your life. it was a breath of fresh air amidst chaos and fear, something that made you feel like you were floating for the first time since the outbreak. you felt stupid smiling so big, but to mask your hint of embarrassment, you told him, “i have a crush on you too, bin. i feel like it's been obvious.”

“not really,” he said, “i could kind of pick up little hints, but it was nothing too major. you honestly held it in well, i was worried you wouldn't return the feelings.”

“well, i promise i do.”

hanbin took your relaxed stance as a sign cup your cheek with his hand, inching closer and closer, finally muttering, “can i?”

you timidly smiled, feeling a blush creep onto your cheeks, “of course.”

without any hesitation, he closed the distance between the two of you, melding your lips together perfectly. you weren't sure if it was because he was hanbin, and he was perfect already, or if it was because this moment had been anticipated for so long by the both of you, but it was everything you could have ever asked for. he filled you with warmth and made you melt into his touch. your eyes fluttered shut, relishing in the moment before he broke away, his forehead pressed against yours, “i can't wait to do that more often.”

“me either,” you smiled, leaning forward again to steal another kiss from him, “i think i could get used to it.”

the two of you decided to scrounge around and look for any useful supplies before you went back to the farmhouse. you found a canteen and a gas lantern by the water, assuming someone had left it there - whether it was on purpose or not, you'll never know - and attempted to find anything else before you began your trek back up the trail to the farmhouse. 

you began laughing the moment you caught sight of taerae on the front porch a “thank fucking god” erupting from

his lips the moment he saw your fingers intertwined with one another. he said something along the lines of it being painful to watch the mutual pining and no one making a move. you nudged him playfully, admitting to him that he was right. 

your group would be leaving out within the next few weeks, and you anticipated everything seattle had to offer you, and you could only hope it would be as good as this.

it was close.

xi.

saying goodbye to the farmhouse was a lot harder than you hoped it would be. while you knew it was for the best, it killed you to leave running water, a thriving garden, and cozy bed to sleep in every single night. you knew you would have those things in seattle, but the remainder of the traveling there was going to be difficult, mainly because you'd all gotten spoiled on the luxury of not worrying about where you'll be staying. 

you set out on the rest of your journey early that morning, backpacks filled to the brim with supplies and plenty of food and water to get you through what you hoped would only be a week. you didn't run into many issues along the way, and had made an agreement to meet on the outskirts of the city if everything went wrong; and you hoped it wouldn't. 

the air was thick with humidity, and the feeling of grime caked on your skin wasn't something you missed by any means. you were filled with hope upon seeing a metal sign on the side of the road, and while it was rusting and filled with holes, you saw the words outlines clearly in white, highly contrasting with the green background.

seattle, 1 mile.

you gave hanbin’s hand a firm squeeze, peering up at him

through your lashes, and feeling tears sting at your eyes. you were finally almost to the place you would call home, where you could get as normal of a life as possible, and you'd be able to do it with your friends and boyfriend. maybe, just maybe, it was finally your time to have something really good happen for you. 

“what kind of food do you think they make there?” gyuvin asked, earning laughs from most of the group, and you all began to make small talk of what was to come, unknowingly picking up your pace. 

the sun was beginning to set, casting a beautiful glow across the horizon, and illuminating the sight in front of you. it was breathtaking, and making you all the more excited to finally get inside the safety of the gates that lie ahead.

but the harsh reality was, in this lifetime, nothing good lasted forever. 

something felt off as you approached the edge of the city. there were no signs of life to be found; you were greeted with empty streets and eerie silence. taerae stopped in his tracks, eyes frantically searching the map, a mantra of “no, no, no” falling from his lips at a million miles a minute.

“what's wrong?” gyuvin inquired, peeking over taerae's shoulder to see if he could figure it out himself, but to no avail. taerae folded up the map in frustration, shoving it in his back locked, and turning to the group to say, “there is no settlement.”

gunwook’s voice held a hint of worry, “why do you say that?”

taerae chuckled frustratedly, spinning around with his arms wide open, motioning to the deserted, crumbling city around you, “we went exactly to the place you said those people told you to, and here we are, with no other person in sight,” he quickly met gazes with you and hanbin, “we're completely doomed.”

“maybe we can try going back to the farmhouse, we were doing so well there,” hanbin suggested, attempting to bring some sort of level headedness to your current situation, but taerae was far from receptive to it. 

he began walking around, his behavior growing a little more irrational. he turned around, pointing at gyuvin and gunwook, who both adorned bewildered looks, and stated through gritted teeth, “this is all your fault, i knew we shouldn't have listened to you.”

“kim taerae!” you intervened, catching the attention of the dark haired boy, a glint of anger evident in his expression, “you are being a little ridiculous, we can figure something out.”

“no, we can't,” he scoffed, “we traveled miles and miles and miles to be greeted with nothing, i feel like my frustration is completely justified,” taerae allowed a yell to rip through his lungs, the sole of his boot loudly stomping on a bent “welcome to seattle” sign that had made its home on the crumbling concrete beneath you. 

before anyone could hush him, or ask if he was stupid, the resonating sound of infected filled your ears, but it was unlike anything you'd ever heard before. it sent panic shooting straight to the pit of your stomach, and it wasn't long before the filled your line of vision completely. 

hundreds of them.

the five of you began to run, desperately trying to stick together, but it was proving to be a lot more difficult than you thought. you heard hanbin holler a “split up” before you headed off into different directions, gyuvin and gunwook together one way, and your original trio the other. you clung to hanbin's hand for dear life, keeping careful watch of taerae to make sure he was keeping up. 

you were all too soon met with a fork in your path, and hanbin was quick to think on his feet, letting go of your hand and pushing you toward taerae with an apologetic smile, quickly telling him, “make sure to keep them safe.”

you let out a cry, “hanbin, no!” but it was too late, because he was taking a pipe and banging it on a dumpster nearby, gaining the attention of the infected that had been hot on your trail, and pushing his legs to move him faster down the alley and out of your line of vision. 

you attempted to run after him, but taerae grabbed your arm and pulled you back. you shook yourself from his grasp, screaming through your tears, “we can't leave him, taerae,” a sob raking over your body, “please!”

“hanbin will be fine, y/n, he always is,” taerae reasoned with you, “he'll make it back to us and you know it.”

before you could argue with him anymore, taerae was grabbing your arm again and dragging you along with him, attempting to find the edge of the city again. your legs were burning with each push you made to keep running, and by time you finally made it to a clearing, your lungs felt like they could collapse at any given moment. 

you desperately looked around, trying to find hanbin, or gyuvin and gunwook, and your eyes finally settled on the trembling figures of the two brothers on the ground up ahead, panting hard and trembling from the realization of the events that just occurred. 

you caught up to them, but before you could say anything, you turned around to face taerae, finally allowing the rage you'd managed to keep at bay during that mess to unleash itself on him, “i cannot believe you would put our whole group on jeopardy like that,” you stepped toward him, palms of your hands meeting his chest and shoving him backwards, “you made hanbin feel like he had no choice but to sacrifice himself so we could live, you know that right?” 

taerae’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, not knowing what at all to say to you. scoffing, you said, “you are so fuckinh selfish.”

with that, you stormed off, ignore everyone’s futile attempts of getting you to calm down. the three ended up following behind you, making sure to keep your remaining group together as night approached, and you eventually stopped and set up camp for the night, but refused to utter a single word to taerae. 

you could only hope hanbin would survive the night.

— — —

you and the other three waited on the outskirts of the city like you planned, anxiously awaiting hanbin’s arrival to your small camp, if it ever came. it had been hours now, and you were still not speaking to taerae, now having graduated to refusing to look at him. his attempts at apologizing to you were futile, because he knew sorry would never be enough to heal the ache in your heart and the constant worrying on your mind.

as the morning sun broke through the sky, you sat in front of the smoldering fire, knees drawn up to your chest and eyes stinging with fresh tears. gyuvin was sat down next to you, his hand rubbing your back in a comforting way, his presence greatly appreciated, but you had a hard time croaking anything out.

a flash of brilliant red came into your vision, causing you to finally tear your gaze away from the ashes before you, seeing a rain of fiery glitter shimmering down from the sky in waves. you blinked a few times, wondering if your mind was playing tricks on you, but gyuvin had stopped rubbing your back in return for staring at the sight before you, mouth agape.

it had to be hanbin.

you began silently packing your things into your backpack, gyuvin closely following suit, but you were interrupted by taerae’s voice piercing the silence, “what are you doing?”

“what's it matter to you?” you snapped, managing to look at him, nostrils flaring in annoyance. he held his hands up in defense. muttering, “i’m just trying to watch out for you, y/n.”

you stepped toward him, teeth gritted and your patience with him wearing dangerously thin. you pointed to the color illuminating the sky, your words assertive, “that could be hanbin, and i’ll be damned if you stop me from going to look when you're the reason this happened in the first place. whether you come or not isn't my problem, but if you want to prove you're worthy of forgiveness, you’ll come with.”

you turned on your heels, back now facing him, and met the determined gazes of gyuvin and gunwook, who signaled they were ready to follow you back into the heart of the city.

you trudged onward, careful not to let the thudding of your boots draw attention to you, and glanced behind your back, taking note of taerae following suit. good.

it wasn't long before you made it through the entrance to the forgotten city, and you slunk against walls to keep a low profile in case a hoard of infected were still nearby. you felt your heart beating in your throat, a layer of sweat now coating your forehead in anticipation for what was to come.

another flare was lit, this time much closer to where you previously were. you dashed across the street from one alley to the next, taking note of the same dumpster that hanbin had hit before he ran on his own path. you figured following it wouldn'td hurt, and led your group onward through the maze of rubble, the stench of the flare smoke now filling your nostrils.

before you could take another step forward, gunwook grabbed your hand and pulled you back down into a crouch, his finger pressed over his lips before he pointed ahead, a bus in the distance, but a crowd of about 15 infected surrounding it. they seemed desperate to get something, and as your eyes trailed up, you realized it was someone.

hanbin.

he looked up, a wave of relief washing over his face upon seeing the four of you few yards away from him, and you fought back your tears as you made a cutthroat motion to the other theee, quietly creeping along the edge of the road, planning to sneak attack the infected.

taerae was the first to leap forward, twisting an infected’s neck with a sickening crack. its body crumpled to the ground, falling entirely lifeless within an instant, and it didn't take long for the rest of you to follow in his footsteps. you swung forward, your motions eerily similar to when you killed ricky months back, blood sputtering out from the infected and soaking through your clothes.

but this time, you didn't care. you continued your actions, the putrid smell of iron and rotting flesh violating your nose, but within a few minutes the crowd was gone, and you were surrounded by bodies on the road. you quickly entered the inside of the bus, noticing there was only a few seats left inside, and a previously made shelter from someone else having been made in the back.

taerae pulled the doors shut to prevent any other infected getting inside, visibly relaxing once he realized your group was safe for now. hanbin slipped down from the top of the bus, his hair disheveled, and exhaustion evident in his expression and body language. you moved forward to give him a hug, but he stepped back, shaking his head at you.

you felt your stomach twist in a knot, “hanbin?”

his next words were ones that would have made you fall to your knees if he wasn't standing directly in front of you, “i got bit.”

it felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the small space, the entire group falling into a dreadful silence.

you blinked back tears for millionth time in the last few hours, swallowing harshly as you met your eyes with his, desperately trying to see if he was pulling some cruel joke. you laughed, “no, no that's not possible! you're fine hanbin, you don't have to pull my leg like that.”

his frown only deepened, and he took a step forward, pulling the sleeve of his jacket up to reveal a gnarly wound on the inside of his forearm, the resemblance of teeth marks deeply penetrating his skin. blood oozed from the gashes, and the flesh surrounding it appeared as though had already begun to rot away.

“what are we going to to do?” taerae asked, and you almost turned around to slap him, but somehow managed to contain yourself.

hanbin’s expression said everything you needed to know. his next sentence was quiet, and had the nobody there been completely still, you wouldn't have been able to hear it, “i’m going to have to take care of it myself, i won’t let the virus take over. i don't want to be one of them.”

“hanbin, no,” taerae said, “we can't just let you kill yourself, there has to be another way.”

“but there's not, taerae,” hanbin’s tone was gentle but firm, “there's no cure, and i won't be able to handle being one of those disgusting creatures,” a tear raced down his cheek, “i have no other choice, unless one of you do it for me, and i would never ask that of you.”

you didn't feel like yourself as the gears turned in your head, before you finally asked, “can we at least say goodbye?”

his eyes softened, and he nodded in return. you let the others go before you, gunwook and gyuvin going first, thanking him for allowing them to tag along, and always making sacrifices to make sure everyone else was taken care of.

you didn't miss the sobs shaking taerae’s body when he went, their hug the tightest one you had ever seen. “i’m so sorry” moving past his lips repeatedly, and hanbin kept reassuring him quietly. the two had a quiet conversation, hanbin’s gaze intensely staring into taerae in what you assumed was advice on how to move forward.

and then it was your turn.

your legs felt like jelly as you collapsed into his embrace, his arms sturdy and the scent of his cologne having barely lingered on his clothes as you burning your face into his chest. you could feel him breaking down, and the two of you cried more than you ever have before. he pulled back a little bit, pressing a deep, loving kiss onto your lips, and you could taste the salt of your tears mixing in between.

he looked at you, adoration in his eyes, as he whispered, “i love you, y/n.”

your bottom lip quivered, and you were barely able to get out an “i love you” in return, relishing in your final moment with him. you shifted a bit, slipping your dagger out from the inside of your sleeve. you pushed it between his ribs, hearing him softly grunt in pain, and a quiet “thank you” coming from him.

he grew weaker by the minute, and you helped him lower to the ground. laying him down on his back and settling down next to him, your hand coated with the warm bloom spilling from his body. your free hand reached up and pushed his hair out of his eyes. thumb moving down to collect his tears as his eyes fluttered shut and the breath left his body.

your pained weeping echoed throughout the barren wasteland around you, and you wanted so badly to turn back time, to do something differently, because if you did, he would still be alive. you'd still be searching for seattle.

but seattle wasn't real, and the boy you loved was taken from you by the very thing you hated the most.

[harringtonstilinski]

You're So Dense - Steve Harrington

Author: @harringtonstilinski​ Characters: Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader Word Count: 3,239 Warnings: fluff, flashback, use your imagination for steve explaining what he likes about this "mystery girl", Requested: no | yes; came from this prompt list Smut: no | yes; A/N: Hi, friends! If you like this chapter, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox. As always, read at your own risk and enjoy 😊

steve harrington playlist

steve harrington masterlist

Dense. That’s the only word you could use to describe your best friend. Your best friend you’ve had since Sophomore year of high school. The very same best friend that was always late for school, who came into class with a freaking bagel from the local bakery. That same best friend who never wore a watch until both of your Senior year.

Who is this best friend? None other than Steve The Hair Harrington. The two of you bonded over your love of music, specifically all the pop music that was constantly playing on the radio, as well as all the music your parents listened to when they were young. Your favorite songs being (They Long To Be) Close To You by The Carpenters and Baby by Styx.

Steve had kept his distance from you, though, when Will Byers went missing, your little brother’s best friend. You were a part of the search parties to look for the little boy, Steve having his own drama with Nancy Wheeler, and eventually, somewhat defeating one of the Demogorgons that had come through from the Upside Down.

Steve and Dustin’s attempts at keeping you away from the tunnels and the Demodogs were fruitless. Steve especially tried to keep you away, but you weren’t having any of it after learning just months before that Dustin was almost Demogorgon food. All you wanted to do was protect Dustin, since you didn’t get the opportunity the first time, and that’s exactly what you did.

You protected Dustin, along with your new friend Robin and Lucas’ little sister Erica, against the Russians that were hiding under Starcourt Mall, as well as the big ass 30 foot Mind Flayer last Summer, and now you’re currently trying to figure out how you all can defeat a new monster by the name of Vecna.

Your little group that consisted of yourself, Steve, Dustin, Robin, Nancy, Erica, Lucas and Max Mayfield were all at the Creel House to get clues on how to defeat Vecna. After Robin threw a brick through the front door window, which was beautiful, by the way, Steve reached his arm inside, unlocking and opening the door.

Steve whistled as he looked back at you before moving to his left, letting the rest of you enter the house, Lucas going to the lamp by the door, trying to turn it on before he said, “Looks like someone forgot to pay their electric bill.”

Snickering, you covered your mouth, concealing the laugh that was begging to be released as you and Dustin held up your flashlights, turning them on.

“Where’d everyone get those?” Steve asked.

Turning around, Dustin faced your best friend before eyeing you. He turned his sights back to Steve, saying, “Do you need to be told everything?”

Placing a hand on his shoulder, you grabbed his attention, saying, “You’re not a child, Steve.”

After his eyes danced between yours for a moment, he said, “Thank you,” as you reached into Dustin’s backpack, retrieving the extra flashlight from the back pocket.

“There ya go, big guy,” you whispered, following Dustin as he dropped the backpack.

What you didn’t know was that Steve’s eyes stayed on your back as you moved, confused as to why you called him that. But what he didn’t know was that your cheeks grew hot at your use of the nickname.

“They just… left… everything,” Nancy said.

“I guess a triple homicide isn’t good for resale value,” Robin added.

Silently agreeing with her as you slowly approached the two girls, you smiled a little to yourself, Robin’s humor your favorite part about her. Your attention was brought from the two of them to Max as she said, “Hey, guys.”

Turning to face Max, you looked at the back of her head before moving your eyes to the clock she was standing in front of, light pointed towards it as she asked, “You all see that, right?”

You moved closer to her, standing between her and Dustin as he and Steve answered, “Yeah.”

“Is this what you saw? In your… visions?” Nancy asked, the redhead nodding her head in confirmation. 

“I’m sure this is just an ordinary grandfather clock, Nancy Drew,” you answered, moving the clock and running your hand over the glass covering the face to reveal a small part of it before looking back at Max, to say in a reassuring tone, “It’s just a regular old clock.”

As you softly smiled at her, Steve asked, “Why is this wizard obsessed with clocks? Is he like a… a clockmaker or something?”

Sighing, you walked back over to him, placing your hand on his chest to look into his eyes as you said, “ I think you cracked the case there, Harrington.”

Nancy’s voice grabbed your attention as your breathing hitched a little at Steve’s eyes on yours as she said, “All I know is the answers are here… somewhere. Okay, everyone stay in groups of two. Henderson, stay with your brother and Steve. Robin, upstairs.”

Max walked towards Lucas, putting her hand on his arm as she passed him, saying, “Come on, let’s go.”

You and your brother looked at each other before looking at Steve, the both of you giving him a smile in unison before he sighed. “Was that a sigh?” Dustin asked.

“Yup, totally sounded like it,” you voiced.

“No, I did not sigh,” Steve answered, going around you two to the stairs.

“Why’d you sigh, Steve?” you asked, deciding to pester him.

Climbing the stairs, Steve said, “I didn’t sigh. Just come on, guys.”

“We heard you,” you and Dustin said in unison.

“W-we’re always partners, okay?”

“And what’s wrong with that?” you asked, trying very hard to not look at his ass that was currently in your face.

“It’d just be nice to, I don’t know, mix it up a little,” Steve said.

“Are you we boring you, Harrington? Because I would seriously like to know if you wanna be partners with us or with Nancy.”

When you three made it to the top of the stairs, he turned to face you, a slightly confused look on his face as he asked, “Wait, what? Why would you think–”

Breaking the connection between your eyes, you walked off to the nearest room, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, releasing it as you heard footsteps behind you, Steve’s voice coming into your ears a few seconds later as he asked, “Hey, Henderson?”

“Which one?” Dustin asked.

“Either.”

Sighing, you asked, “What, Steve?”

“Could you maybe, uh… clarify what sort of clues we’re supposed to be looking for?”

Turning to face him, you answered Steve by saying, “The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes,” in your best British accent, Steve giving you a look as you smiled at him. “Sherlock Holmes,” you said.

When his look didn’t change, you sighed and rolled your eyes, turning and walking to the floor vent on your left as Steve said, “That’s great.”

Bending down, you opened it, picking up a jar and looking at the contents inside, immediately wishing you hadn’t upon seeing a spider inside the glass. Seeing something crawling on your arm from your periphery, you dropped the jar and started running backwards out of the room, screaming while trying to brush the arachnid off of you.

“Henderson, Henderson–”

“Get it off, get it off!!” you screamed, hands landing on Steve’s arms as Nancy’s voice sounded, the girl asking, “What’s wrong?”

“Spi-spider,” you breathed, closing your eyes. “There was a spider. A-a-a black widow.”

Feeling Steve’s arms disappear from your hands, you quickly opened your eyes, watching as he closed the door and came back to stand in front of you, looking above your head as he said, “Don’t go in there.”

Sighing, you closed your eyes again before feeling Nancy’s hand in your hair as she said, “Oh, oh. Wait–”

“What? Is it still on me?” you asked, moving the mirror that was only a few feet away.

Steve and Nancy followed you, the latter saying, “Stop moving, let me–”

“I can get them, Nance,” Steve said, carding his fingers through your hair as Nancy moved to stand beside you. “I got it,” he whispered.

“Thanks, Steve,” you whispered back.

Robin’s voice almost sent you into panic mode as she said, “If there’s a spider nesting in there, you’re never gonna find it until it lays eggs and all the babies spill out.”

“Robin Buckley, you shut your mouth,” you said, sternly. “What’s wrong with you?”

She chuckled as she walked past you three, Steve’s sigh bringing you back to the moment, feeling as if you two were the only ones in the house… or in the world.

“She’s got problems,” he whispered, eyes glued to your hair as he fished the webs out.

Taking a deep breath, you released it, saying, “Yeah, tell me about it.”

“I like that you two are friends. Maybe after we find Vecna, kill him, save the world and stuff, maybe we can all go out or something.”

A smile danced across your lips, Nancy coming in your peripheral as her own smile tried to form. It was no surprise to you that she still might’ve had feelings for Steve, even though she was with Jonathan. 

Or maybe it was her way of being friendly with him. You couldn’t exactly remember what it was like with them when they were together, but what you could remember was the fact that she always had a smile on her face any time she was around him… except when Barbra Holland went missing.

Steve’s voice brought you back to the present as he said, “Ya’know, me, you, Nancy, Jonathan when he’s back, maybe Robin, too.”

“And Eddie,” you said, softly. “Can’t forget him. He’s pretty much part of this friend group now.”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like we’re dating,” he added. “Me and Robin, it’s not like we’re dating. She told you? That we’re not?”

You started laughing, resting your hand on the table next to you. “Yes, Steven. I know that you two aren’t dating. I know all about Robin, remember? I was there in that mall bathroom when she explained everything. I know that you two are platonic.”

“Platonic with a capital P,” Robin added.

“Yes, ma’am, thank you.”

Using a softer voice that was almost a whisper, Steve said, “I mean… I would date her… it’s just… she’s…”

Your face fell, all the humor dissolving away as he tried to continue explaining, “We’re friends… nevermind… you know… we’re just friends.”

Nancy had moved to stand in front of you, grabbing your hands in hers to give you comfort. She knew about your crush on Steve, and she was happy when you had told her about it a few weeks ago. 

“Nancy!” you whisper exclaimed, looking down at her from your spot on the couch. “I need to talk to you. Like, now.”

She nodded her head, getting up from her spot on the floor, to the two of you walking up the stairs of Steve’s house and into his bedroom, where she closed the door behind you. “What’s up?” she asked.

“I think I like Steve,” you blurted out, hand covering your mouth.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she put a hand on her chest. “Well, that’s a relief! I’m glad you finally came to your senses.”

“Wait,” you said, eyebrows pinched in confusion. “You knew?” Chuckling, she said, “It’s kind of obvious to everyone but Steve. The way you look at him, the way you were just sitting next to him.”

“H-how was I sitting?”

“You’re trying not to lean into him. His arm is resting on the back of the couch behind your head! That’s an open invitation.”

Suddenly feeling your cheeks heat up, you quickly decided to come up with an excuse to everyone else downstairs as to why you needed to leave. “I have to go home. I-I can’t be around him right now when I just realized that I like him and-and I just–”

“It’s okay,” Nancy said, putting a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Just tell everyone you weren’t feeling good. I’ll make sure Dustin gets home.”

Giving her a hug, you sighed, “Thanks, Nance.”

You both went back downstairs and you gave your excuse of not feeling well that you’d see everyone the next day after some rest. Steve had offered to take you home, even though you drove yourself and Dustin, to which you kindly rejected.

After arriving home that night, you talked with your mom about your feelings before you went off to your room to lay down, getting a decent night’s sleep before hanging out with the group the following day.

Feeling Steve’s hands on your shoulders, you were brought back to the present, yet again, as he said, “There. All better.”

Turning to face him, you softly smiled at him and said, “Thanks, Steve.”

Softly chuckling, he looked into your eyes before casting them down to look toward his shoes before he whispered, “Guess we should, uh, get back to the investigation.”

“Right.”

Without missing a beat, he said, “The obvious things are not what people observe.” Snorting, you covered your mouth as he continued, “Or… do… don’t observe… or… whatever the hell you- well… Sherlock Holmes.”

“You get credit for trying.”

“Thanks,” he whispered before turning around and walking into the room that was behind him, leaving you to stand there confused before you turned to face Nancy, the two of you whispering, “What?”

~~~

After everyone found Vecna in the attic with the flashlights and they all burst in your hands, you all left the Creel House and went back to the Wheeler house, where you, Dustin and Steve collected his car.

Once the three of you made it back to yours and Dustin’s house, the latter got out of the car, yawning and made his way inside as you and Steve stayed in the vehicle.

“Hey, Henderson?” Steve said.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Sighing, you responded, “You can ask me anything, Steve. You know that.”

Looking at him as he nodded, you couldn’t help but think to yourself that he was going to ask about Nancy. That’s where your mind always went to when he needed to ask you a question.

“Do you, uhm… do you like anyone?” he asked, tentatively. Steve was afraid that you’d say yes but not say that it was him. He liked you, that much was certain. The very same night a few weeks ago after you left, he talked with Robin about his feelings for you, the girl simply telling him, “If you like her that much, just talk to her. The worst she could say is no.” So, he decided as the two of you sat in his car that he was going to ask you about it.

“Uhm, yeah. I do.” You smile while giving your answer, wanting so badly to tell him that it was him you liked.

Sighing, he softly nodded his head, looking down at a spot on his jeans. “Do I… do I know him?”

“Very much so.” Looking over at him, you could see the defeat in his eyes and on his face. “Do you like anyone?”

Steve looked at you, a look in his eyes that you should recognize, but was choosing not to read into like you normally did. “Yeah. I do.”

“What do you like about her?”

“What do you like about him?”

Steve thought you had a crush on Eddie, which is what really prompted him to ask you. Was he a fan of Eddie’s? Not particularly, no. Along with everyone in town, Steve thought Eddie was a freak because he liked to play D&D. 

You, on the other hand, didn’t think he was a freak. Since Dustin joined Hellfire, your friendship with Eddie grew to the point where it’s like Steve and Robin’s friendship; strictly platonic. Eddie was a sweet soul, not this demonic satan worshiper that the whole town thought he was.

“Uhm,” you said, taking a deep breath. “I like the fact that he makes me smile. He’s not someone I thought I’d be friends with.”

“What was he like?” Steve asked, his curiosity piqued.

Chuckling, you looked out of the windshield towards your house as you said, “A complete asshole. I don’t wanna give too much away, though.”

“No, I wanna know.”

Shaking your head, you looked at him, a small smile on your face. “Tell me about this girl.”

Mimicking your movements, he looked out of the windshield, saying, “She’s amazing. She’s not afraid to speak her mind.” As he started listing off all of the things he liked about this mystery girl, you couldn’t help but feel a little sad.

Tears started to prick your eyes, so that was your cue to get out of the car, Steve’s voice stopping mid sentence. 

“Hey, where ya going?”

“Inside,” you said, closing the car door.

Getting out of his seat, Steve said, “Wait, why?”

Your movements stopped as you sighed and closed your eyes. “Because I really don’t wanna hear about this mystery girl.”

What you had failed to realize, in Steve’s eyes, that the mystery girl… was you. But, in your eyes, the mystery girl was Nancy.

“Okay, well… same for the mystery boy you mentioned,” he said, arms crossed over his chest. 

“Oh, my god,” you whispered. Turning to face him, you said, “Okay, so I guess I’m just going to have to spell everything out for you because you clearly think I don’t like you when that could not be more wrong.”

Steve’s eyes went as wide as saucers at hearing the words that just escaped from your lips. 

“I. Like. You. Steve.” You moved toward him with each word you spoke. “You, Steve. Not some mystery guy. You. You make me smile, you make me laugh. You’re my shoulder to cry on, my protector, even though I don’t need it.

“You’re everything I’ve looked for in a guy, despite the fact that you were a complete asshole Junior year. I like to think I had something to do with that change in you, but we all know it was Nancy that changed you.

“You’re sweet, and caring, and I love the way you’ve protected the Party. I especially love the way you’ve taken Dustin under your wing. He’s needed a brotherly figure since our dad just up and left.”

The two of you hadn’t realized that you were so close to each other, getting lost in the other’s eyes as you had walked towards him during your explanation.

“But most importantly, Steve… I like you because you’re you. Not to mention, you’re hot as hell–”

Your words were interrupted by Steve’s hands cupping your cheeks, his own voice saying, “Shut up, Henderson,” before kissing you. Shock ran through your system for a split second before you kissed him back.

With your lips moving in sync, you got lost in the being that was Steve Harrington. 

Pulling away from you for a moment before resting his forehead against yours, Steve took a deep breath before saying, “You’re so dense.”

You chuckled, closing your eyes as your arms came to rest on his shoulders, your fingers lightly playing with the hair at the base of his neck as you replied, “No, Steve. You’re dense."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N 2:  hi, friends! let me know what you thought about! again, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox.

Additional Notes: i'm so sorry if this sucks major balls... i don't know how to write dense characters... kbye!! <3

~~~

Forever / Everything Taglist: @stiles-o-dylan24 @stixnstripesworld @fandom-princess-forevermore @quanticobae @mischiefandi @kellyashcroft @lauren-novak

Steve Harrington Taglist: @madaboutjoe​

If you’re tagged and didn’t want to be, please let me know.

Italics wouldn’t let me tag!

~~~

*Please don’t post my writing anywhere else without my consent. The author of this work will always and forever be @harringtonstilinski​.

All characters, story lines, and plot aside from y/n and her storyline & plot, are all of the work of The Duffer Brothers.

*These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited.

No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

Posted on March 7, 2024

[accio-victuuri]

ONE NIGHT IN BEIJING & other sweets 🌃

when i first saw this song being discussed earlier, i was confused cause i don’t know what’s happening. lol. what’s with the song. i cannot trace where the screenshot is from but it says one of WYB’s favorite song is this, one night in beijing.

then a fan commented that XZ sang this in our song before ( not main performance ) and someone found a recording. did he discover the song because of that? was it on zz’s playlist at some point in the past and became his fave?

the song itself tho. very 👀👀👀

Don’t wish to ask where you have been

Don’t wish to wonder if you are ever returning

I’m thinking of your heart, I’m thinking of your face

I’m thinking of your embrace – I won’t let go, I just won’t

that’s just the first few lines and i’m here nodding my head that this fits his style of bittersweet song.

but this not even the interesting part….

Fans are thinking about how this relates to what’s been happening in the past few ways. The way we have speculated about 11/19 and WYB acting as the mystery driver again. Then him sharing a post on his weibo. One night in Beijing? Does he love that particular title cause it sometimes describes their meetings? They are often busy and one night is all they can get.

People are also pointing out the change in ZZ’s work schedule today. His LOCH sched starts early and ends in the evening or very late but the 5:30-6:00 AM call time for him is almost fixed. Yesterday, 11/22, WYB posts and we think they are together. What happens today? ZZ comes in “late” to work at 11:30 AM. So why the change? Was he spending time with Bobo? This reminds me of that time he was out of his schedule too when Bobo was sick.

A common argument from haters is how is a relationship between them possible. They are busy! Well.. this is how. since 2020, they have been meeting (allegedly) and even going to each other’s workplace ( allegedly lol repeating this to be safe ) It doesn’t matter how long, they make it work. You will always find time for the important people in your life.

Next, let’s move on to XZS post. On a Thursday. Also it perfectly coincides with their WB account reaching 10 million followers. The photos shared are behind the scenes content from ad shoots but the contrast of the photos stands out. Day & Night. The kadian they use, 14:23 loving zhan forever. Which goes to show that they do use it!

The caption gives us more insight on the choice of photos. Sun & Moon. Another symbolism that is popular with CPFs Sun/Sunshine & Moon.

“It is the perfect moment, just like when the gentle light meets the rising moon.”

I think the english translation doesn’t give that much deeper meaning that we clowns love. so we gotta take it to the next level 🙃🙃🙃

"Fuguang" and "Wangshu" are both important elements in Chinese culture. "Fuguang" comes from the works of Song poets in the Southern Dynasties, which means sunlight or sunlight."Wangshu" is a god in Chinese mythology and legend, representing the moon and can be used to describe moonlight'. The two can be combined to show that lovers support each other and move towards a bright future together.

This caption aligns to WYB posting a photo yesterday that shows the 🌙. So does this mean WYB is the Moon & ZZ is the Sun/light? I have to say that it fits with their personality ( tho Bobo is warm and ZZ has his moments of being cold too but you know what I mean, for symbolic purposes only ok. ) I am loving this imagery between them! I hope we can have more reference in the future.

I’m cackling at this tho. The progression of posts, WYB’s caption was a reminder that it’s getting colder > YBO reposts and says to wear warmer clothes > XZS posts and GG is wearing a cozy sweater 😂 As if saying that yep, he has worn warmer clothes. LOL.

and xzs and ybo are at it again, the photo ybo shared yesterday was showing wyb’s back and xzs shared something similar today as the last photo in the grid. i’m sure they have lots of photos that show his face or close ups of his body like his hand but they had to choose this as the finale.

i mean thank you, this will make it easier for us to edit them together 😂😂😂

Bonus, the “light” photos appear to form an 8 = bo. (p1) is a himalaya episode about the 8 of diamonds card forming an 8. What a coincidence!

-END.

[cosmicstarlatte]

Mammon A-Z Smut HCs (Obey Me!)

⬅Back to Smut HC A-Z Masterlist ◇

18+ only, minors do not interact.

My personal headcanons using this [prompt list]

The goal is to finish the whole list; you are welcome to request a letter so I get to it faster. I will work on it as quick as I can but keep in mind I do have a life & responsibilities lol. ^^

Last Updated: Oct.1.2023 (5 out of 26)

⚠️Notes: I'll tag any sections if needed. If you think a section needs a tag, kindly let me know.

A: Affair (Describe an extra-marital affair)

B: Birthday (Describe birthday sex)

C: Compliments (Mid- and post-sex compliments)

D: Dry Humping (Describe a dry-humping scene)

E: Experimenting (Trying something new)

He'll be nervous & get shy with any new kinks. He's always willing to try though, just give him a little time & if he changes his mind, he'll tell you! After trying something, he will let you know if he didn't particularly care for it or not. "That? Ya I like that... but this? Nah, not my style!"

F: Firsts (First time having sex together)

The first time you two have sex with each other, it's steamy, passionate & fluffy. Maybe just slightly clumsy but that only happens because of the excitement you both have! Especially him! He loves you & feels much closer to you after it. Cuddling with you the first time after sex filled a hole he didn't know he had. From then on he always looks forward to cuddling after sex.♡

G: Gentle (Describe gentle/loving mid-sex gestures)

H: Handsy (When they can’t keep their hands to themselves)

I: Initiator (Who initiates most of the time? How?)

J: Jealous (“Claiming” a partner)

tags: possessive/territorial/violent, ass grabbing, objectification(?) All common sense goes out the window when it comes to this man & jealousy. He's bark & bite (peck?). He has no issue interrupting you & an unknown demon if they look at you like some piece of meat. You're his; no one's taking his treasure! He will wrap an arm around you or smack your ass & plant a quick kiss, glaring at whoever you're talking to & they can usually take the hint. ...Now if he actually finds someone outright flirting with you & making you uncomfortable, he'll lose his shit & get in their face quick. He has no issue grabbing them & throwing them. "Who do ya think you are! Talkin' like that to what's mine! Remember your place!"

K: Kitchen (Describe a sex scene in the kitchen)

L: Likes (What they like in the bedroom)

M: Morning (Describe morning sex)

N: Never (Things they would never try)

O: Orgasm (Describe coming--who comes first? What do they say? How does the other person know it’s approaching?)

P: Playlist (A playlist for getting down and dirty; will probably include a lap dance song, a song for making love, and a song that represents their sex life)

Q: Quiet (Reaction to a quiet partner)

R: Ruttish (Signs that they’re horny)

S: Safe Word (How often is the safe word used? Why?)

T: Teasing (Who’s the tease in the relationship? What do they do? How often?)

U: Undressing (Strip teasing a partner)

V: Videos (Sending NSFW videos to each other)

The first time you sent Mammon a video, he jerked it until his balls were completely drained. He of course sent his own vid showing you how much he loved it. "Mmph, fuuuck!...look at what ya do to me...haah! Look at all this fuckin' cum , just for you baby." He couldn't help but ask for more vids from you so he can jerk off when you're not around. He loves to send you his feedback every time.❤️

W: Wedding Night (Consummating the marriage)

X: XXX (What kind of porn does the person watch? How often?)

Before you, he would watch it every other day if he was in the mood. Succubus's & witches, pretty tame actually nothing too crazy & usually had some praise kink involved. Those vids did it for him up until he got you. Now he turns to his own private (favorite) collection if he has to jerk off. See V too lol.^

Y: Yawn (How they sleep post-sex)

Z: Zoo (Their animalistic qualities in the bedroom)

[bokutosbabe]

🌹Come Fly with Me🌹

Keigo Takami x GN! reader

Cw! teeth rotting fluff , use of 'birdie' as a pet name/ kinda implied that more happens later ;)) (not edited or proofread at all)

synopsis! Keigo never thought he'd be the man to settle down, but here he was dancing to Frank Sinatra in the kitchen with the love of his life.

Keigo Takami doesn't believe he deserves love, but when he gets home and sees you cooking dinner in the kitchen he just wants to be close to with you.

You hadn't heard him over the music that was playing; keigo recognized it well. It was the playlist you swore would be playing when the two of you got married. “ one day ” he'd tell you, and as impatient a person that you were; you grew to be okay with that answer. You were happy just living the domestic life you had with keigo.

He came up behind you,grabbing your waist as you let out a loud as hell scream. You looked back at the pro hero,"Jesus! Kei! You can't do that to me!" And to keigo; you looked gorgeous right now. Hair in its natural state, not styled or anything- you were in an oversized hoodie and some grey sweats. God he could fall in love with you all over again.

“ sorry, birdie...didn't wanna interrupt you. You looked so..."he thought about the word to describe you before finally understanding just how to describe you. "...ethereal."he laughed as he looked at you.

You just gave him a kiss on the cheek before skipping one of the songs you'd grown to hate on the playlist. Suddenly, Keigo's favorite song started playing. ‘Come Fly with Me’ by Frank Sinatra. Keigo smiled as he pulled you away from the stove,pulling you towards his chest,"may I have this dance?"he got closer to your ear, kissing your temple.

You could only let out a small laugh,"the food, kei..." “Don't worry about that...just dance with me.” you knew that it wasn't going to matter, it was on a low simmer anyways but you were still nervous that you would ruin dinner.

Keigo took your waist in his hand,swaying back and forth with you in his grasp. The slow tune of the song was something that calmed him and you...you were something that riled him up. He sighed shakily as he leaned down,kissing your neck.

Frank Sinatra was one of the most romantic singers; everyone knew this.

He was getting riled up, especially when he felt your hands go up to his wings; caressing them without a second thought. “you're killing me birdie..." The man was pent up. Not being able to see you because of work, dealing with the LOV, and the stress he'd had about keeping you happy.

You were a simple being though; you appreciated him just talking to you. You'd be on your hands and knees for him even if he just gave you a smile. That's just the effect keigo takami had on people.

“you're gonna have to wait, my love."you whispered to him,kissing him as you swayed slowly with him, accidentally stepping on his feet. You were a clumsy person, anyone could see,but it was what made keigo love you even more than the average person could.

Dinner was your first priority, especially because you didn't want to set off the smoke alarms in your shared apartment like you had last week due to the same reason; keigo being needy. Pleasing Keigo was your second favorite thing to do, besides cuddle him, but sadly you'd have to wait on that for now.

“birdie c'mon...”the taller man smiled down at you as he leaned over and turned off the stove top, leaving you quite surprised. “kei- it's getting late! we have to eat-" but the impatient bird brain cut you off by grabbing your waist and basically dragging you to your shared bedroom,running into the walls a few times.

You let out a small whine as the kiss continued,thinking about the food that was going to go to waste as you felt his lips press to yours, seeming like keigo couldn't get close enough.

Kissing you, touching you, being with you was as close to heaven as Keigo could get, and he'd take it over those pearly gates any day,"don't worry, I'll make it up to you.”he whispered against your lips as he pulled away for a breath of air.

and with that you slipped into the arms of keigo takami, the man who could treat you like a god when he really wanted to-

frank sinatra still droning on in the kitchen.

slay? ANYWAY. this is my first time writing for hawks so I hope y'all like it!

[wildemaven]

The Beginning: The Proposal

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader

WC: 3528

Warnings: language, established relationship, 2nd POV, mentions of food and drinks, im going to refrain from any other things to not give anything away, but it’s all fluff

A/N: It’s here!! I’m excited and nervous!! Happy to give these to a little more love and a little bit more backstory to them. Normally I have a full blown moodboard (and I do) but it would give away too much so I’m opting to not have one but if you’re interested in seeing it, I can post it in like a separate “spoilers below” post. Also, reader’s nickname is revealed in this, so any future posts will have it when referring to her (so much easier to when trying to avoid a name). And last but not least, their song picked by y’all is Lover by T.Swift and there’s a playlist linked below.

Edited to add a big thank you to @noisynaia for letting scream at her my thoughts!!!

Okay. I hope you like it. And if you ever want to scream about these two with me, my ask box is always open.

Previous / Series Masterlist / The Proposal Playlist / Weekends Masterlist

Sometimes the beauty of life is allowing it happen organically.

Delicate bits of time woven together through fleeting moments— in varying degrees of inconsequential or life changing events.

Momentous is how you would describe your life in a single word at this very moment in time.

The last 6 months had been a whirlwind for you and Frankie. Since that night you’d both not only confessed your love to each other, but also deciding to spend the rest of time together.

You’d convinced your landlord to let you out if your lease early, due to you being a exemplary tenant for several years. With the help of Frankie and the guys, you were able to box up your things and move into Frankie’s house across town.

It had taken a few weeks to unpack your life into this new space, but you felt a sense of accomplishment once everything had a place and mixed in effortlessly with Frankie’s belongings.

You’d both decided early on to keep your engagement to yourselves— a secret for the two of you to savor and enjoy.

Not that you were worried about what others might think, but this felt like a special kind of thing you wanted to bask in before sharing with your loved ones.

And when the time was right, everyone would know.

*

Your schedules had been booked and busy, so you’d both decided to take a random Friday off to spend some extra time together. You were excited to have a 3 day weekend, alone with your fiancé. Which also meant sleeping in as late as you wanted and taking your leisure time to extricate yourself from your cozy lush surroundings.

The bed dips a bit as you turn and stretch out your slow waking form.

“Time to get up sleepy head.” His voice is still your favorite part of waking up. The soft cadence tickles every inch of your body, better than any cup of coffee ever could.

“You let me sleep in, thank you.”

“You looked comfy all wrapped up, figured you could use a few more hours.”

He kisses you, it’s sweet and laced with a hint of bitterness from his morning coffee.

“Mmm! Good morning handsome.”

“Mornin’ Beautiful. There’s a coffee and a danish on the nightstand for you.” You shoot him a questioning look, amusingly taken aback and confused. “Don’t look at me like that. They were all out of croissants this morning, so I went with your second favorite.”

You accept the offer, rolling on to your stomach to reach for your coffee. You get lost in the first sip and savor its creamy rich flavor as it hits every waiting taste bud.

“Alright sleeping beauty. Time to get your ass outta bed and get ready.” Giving your backside a few pats before heading for the bedroom door. “Our appointment is at 3 and then dinner reservations are at 6. Gonna go iron my shirt and clean up my shoes.”

“Hey!” Playfully yelling for his attention as he walks away.

He stops just outside the door, turning back towards you.

“I love you.” He serious expression relaxes and his face lighting up instantly.

“I love you too.” He shoots you a wink before turning to carry on.

It takes you a minute to get yourself up and moving. Bites of your delicious danish and sips of your warm latte aid in your efforts to get yourself ready.

Your mundane routine of showering and prepping for the day were taken at a deliberate pace. Enjoying the balmy spray of the water, soothing the slight aches and pains that had built up over the last week, the feeling of relief is almost instant.

Toweling yourself off and slipping on your cozy rob, you finish readying yourself with a simple makeup look— nothing too fancy or bold, just enough to accentuate your most favorite features.

The garment bag containing your dress for the day was tucked away in the back of your closet. You were so excited to finally get to wear it and eager to see the look on Frankie’s face when he sees you in it.

It was muted in coloring, an off shade of white, it wasn’t anything you’d ever considered for yourself but the moment you’d tried it on there was an instant reaction of sorts. It’s silky smooth fabric hugged your body in such a way that you couldn’t help but feel like it was made for you.

Jewelry and shoes finished off the look, taking yourself in fully as you stand in front of your full length mirror. You hands smoothing over the dress, admiring every detail of your reflection.

“You look stunning.”

Your eyes immediately drawn to Frankie in the mirror leaning against the door frame.

Your breath catches at the sight of him. His head cocked to the side as he admires you, hands tucked into his pant pockets, suit jacket hugging his broad shoulders over his freshly ironed shirt— the top buttons forgotten about in true Frankie fashion.

He pushes himself off the doorframe, taking a few long strides until he is crowding behind your spot in front of the mirror.

His eye contact is direct, holding an intensity that makes you dizzy. Your body tingles when his large hands slowly rest on your shoulders, his thumbs toying at the delicate straps of your dress.

“Frankie…” His name floats over your lips as you look at him with an ardent smile.

His eyes never stop watching you as he leans down pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder, your eyelids flutter as the sensation of his lips ripples through your body.

Your hand comes up to caress the side of his face, his beard trimmed down, the stubble causing a bit of resistance to your touch.

You can’t help the tiny moan that escapes from your throat as Frankie begins to press kiss after kiss along your neck, tilting your head to completely give into to his wandering mouth.

“If you don’t stop, we’re never going to be on time.” Your breathless, knowing that it’s a slippery slop of carnal desire once things start to heat up.

He kisses you one last time before standing to his full height.

“You look so pretty.”

“Pretty?” His eyebrow raises at your comment, not he doesn’t think a man can be pretty, he’s just never saw himself as such.

You turn so you’re fully facing him, hands resting on his chest as you look at him with a sweet gaze. “Yes, pretty. And your hair looks good too.” Your fingers lightly combs through the sides just purely for the experience of touching him some more.

“You think so??” You nod softly and lean into kiss him gently.

“Let’s go handsome.”

*

It was a 45 minute drive, which gave you both plenty of time to enjoy each other’s company. Chats about work and plans for the next few months permeated the truck cabin. 70’s ballads filled the in between silence, but usually evoking laughter from you as Frankie would do his best to stay in tune with the music.

This was now a regular feature in both of your lives. These days spent together, relishing each and every moment, were your favorite. Weekends alone or with friends had you craving adventure as much as possible. But even the slow paced weekends, at home had become a cherished time for the both of you, wanting to absorb each and every moment before the work week was knocking at the door.

The large building towers over the street as Frankie pulls into the parking spot. Its florid design was beautiful for a giant cement building, the front covered in windows and ornate decorative details that are reminiscent of older times.

The weather is warm and sunny as you make your way to the building, Frankie’s grasp on your hand is grounding, giving it a few subtle squeezes as you walk through the glass doors.

The air inside feels cold and stale as you wait for the next available window, very on brand for such a building. A slight shiver has Frankie pulling you in to him, wrapping you in his warmth.

“Next!”

“Good afternoon ma’am. We have an appointment, should be under Morales.”

She doesn’t respond as she clicks away at her keyboard, squinting at her computer screen through her wide-rim glasses.

“Do you have all your proper documentation with you today?” Straight to the point and zero enthusiasm in her tone.

“Uh, yes ma’am.” Frankie hands her the small stack of papers she had asked for. You squeeze his hand now, 3 times as a silent ‘I love you’.

“It’s says here Mr. Morales you’re previously divorced. Do you have proof of dissolution? Otherwise you may not proceed with your application.” She asks as she continues to hold the papers that she hasn’t looked at yet, not even looking away from the screen.

“Yes. It’s in the with the other papers. It was an amicable dissolution, we both signed and agreed to end the marriage—“

“I don’t need your life story sir, just the proper paperwork.”

“Right. Sorry, ma’am.” 3 more squeezes to his sweaty hand, thankful that Frankie is handling her crankiness so calmly and with a smile. She clearly has been doing this for years and has zero intention of small talk.

Her fingers continue to click more buttons and she scans through the papers, inputting the information into the proper boxes. And after what feels like a long process, she’s printing out some new documents, stacking them with the ones you’d given her and hands them back to Frankie.

“Please wait for your name to be called.” Barely making eye contact as she adjusts herself in her chair.

“Thank you ma’am. Have a great weekend.”

“Mhmm. Next!”

“Clearly your charming good looks had no effect on her.” You snicker into Frankie’s shoulder as you both walk to the sitting area, trying to keep your comment contained between the two of you.

The minutes tick by, the space is eerily quiet, so you keep talking to a minimum while you wait.

The other chairs are filled with what look like other couples, all most likely there for the same reason.

You take in the sweet older couple who sits across from you. They must be in their 80’s and yet they have a young innocence that seems to envelop them. Their hands anchoring them to each other as they sit snuggled in sweetly. You can’t make out their conversation, but the way she is smiling and looking at him, it feels like she completely taken by him as has been for awhile. He pats her fragile little hands as he talks and every few minutes he looks at her like she’s the only one in the room— your heart nearly implodes at the gentle kiss he gives her forehead.

It’s like you’re looking at a glimpse of your future. A love so authentic and undying, strong enough to endure hardships, a vivid and passionate life together that never gets tiring.

The soft whisper of your name catches your attention.

“You okay?” 3 gentle squeezes to your hand, the reciprocated gesture tugging at your heart.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just happy to be here with you.” You smile emphasizing your words.

“Alight, we have Morales up next! Please make your way through these doors and the commissioner is waiting for you up at the front.”

*

Entering the room, you’re welcomed by a lady standing behind a wooden podium— she’s already more inviting than the older one at the front desk.

Frankie’s hand is anchored to your lower back as you both make your way closer to her. Frankie hands her the papers she’s needs and you both wait for her to begin.

“Welcome. I have a few more couples after you so let’s get started. Do you have any witnesses with you today?”

“No ma’am we do not.”

“Okay, that’s fine, not a requirement in the state of Florida. And will you be exchanging rings today?”

“No ma’am, we do not have rings.”

“Well, this might just be the easiest one today.” She laughs a bit as she shuffled her papers around a bit.

“I’m going to ask you both to face each other while I read the declaration of intent.”

You can feel the emotions already flowing through you, as you look at Frankie. This man has gifted you with so much in such a short amount of time and you can’t help but feel so grateful for this life you’re about to begin.

“Please join hands.”

Frankie takes yours in his, his is touch is the most powerful thing you have ever felt.

“Francisco, do you take—“ There’s an pang in your chest as she says your name, but it’s not a heavy feeling, it’s light and airy as she continues reading from her paper. “To be your lawful wedded partner?”

“I do.”

His thumb sweeps back and forth across the top of your hand, his smile is beaming with elation.

“… do you take Francisco to be your lawful wedding partner?”

“I do.” There’s a slight crack when you say it, emotion fully overtaking your voice.

“… you have come here today on your own free will and declared your love for one and other.”

Tears begin to fall from your eyes as you look back at Frankie, your whole body feels like it’s floating on a blissful cloud. He wipes each tear and gently rubs your cheekbone, you lean into his touch.

“You have joined yourselves in matrimony. May you aim all your lives to meet this commitment and celebrate

in each other's company. And now that you have given and pledged your love and have stated so by joining

hands, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the State of Florida as Deputy Marriage Commissioner, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss.”

And you do. It’s unlike any kiss you have ever experienced before. It’s all-encompassing and heart-stopping, pouring out all the love you have for one another— his lips feel like forever.

Wedded bliss is intoxicating. An indescribable feeling of starting this new chapter together and looking forward to a future where it’s the two of you steadfast in your fidelity and aspirations.

*

Driving straight from the courthouse, you’d both felt slightly over dressed at your favorite restaurant, it’s casual setting a stark contrast from your wedding attire. In the short time together, you’d both become regulars, dining in or takeout had become a weekly occurrence.

Frankie had made the reservation and must have mentioned it was a special occasion because the table is nestled in a corner that was secluded from the rest of the restaurant. Lit candles and small arrangement of flowers placed in the center.

You couldn’t have imagined a more perfect post wedding celebration. Indulging in your favorite dishes as you reflect on the day, it all still feeling surreal and fresh. The staff also gifting a slice of cake, a little congratulations on your new marriage.

“How long should we keep it from them? Santi’s going to be pissed when he finds out. I can already see that assholes face.”

You laugh because you know he’s right, but you know he’ll be happy for you both, they all will.

“How about we wait a month. Then we can invite everyone over for dinner, the weather’s been nice too, so maybe we pull out the bbq even and we tell them then. I mean, we made it 6 months engaged and none of them had a single clue. I like the thought of this being between us for a little bit.”

“That sounds like a great plan.” He leans over and looks at you with an almost devilish smirk. “Now, let’s get home so I can get you out of that fucking dress.”

“Mr. Morales, you have quiet the mouth on you.” You tease amusingly.

“Well Mrs. Morales, this mouth also has plans for you this evening.” His tone hushed as he spoke, a wink to seal his response.

You close the space between you, feeling his plush lips against yours. “Then take me home soldier.” Your tongue peeking out, the softest lick to his lips before pulling away and settling back into your chair.

“Can we get the check?!”

*

It was dark by the time Frankie pull the truck into the drive way. The stars like little fireflies lighting the sky and the moon silently vigilant as it settles in for the night.

“Did we leave a light on before we left?” Unbuckling yourself and noticing a faint light illuminating the front room, a slight panic creeping in your eyes.

“Hmm, I thought we turned them all off. Go head on in and check it out, I’m gonna lock up the truck and grab the leftovers.”

Thankfully the door is secured and you don’t see any sign of a break-in or anything out of place, relief washing over you.

Stepping through the threshold into the house you’re met with an unexpected sight. Dozens of white roses on every surface surround the open room, the floor draped in a sea of white petals. Bouquets covering the kitchen island where small candles are lit, the glow you saw from the window, more bouquets as you look into the living room.

You’re completely speechless and in awe of the beauty of the room and you’re so confused trying to figure out where they all came from. Clearly someone did break in? But decorated with flowers and locked up after they left…

Footsteps through the doorway bring your attention back to your surroundings, their presence stopping behind you.

“Frankie? What are all these flowers doing here?”

He doesn’t respond, but you can sense that he’s there. Pulling your eyes away from the flowers you turn to face Frankie, except he’s not level with you when you do so.

There before you is Frankie, your husband, kneeling on one knee looking up at you holding a small box in his hands.

“Frankie?” A wave of shock and elation crash over you in a matter of seconds. “What are you doing?”

“Hermosa… I know you said you didn’t need some big extravagant proposal and seeing as how we just got married just a few hours ago 6 months after meeting, we definitely don’t follow traditions.” His voice is so soft, and his eyes have never looked brighter.

“This is me promising you a future, a life where you are not alone. From the moment I met you, I knew I wanted to be apart of your life in some capacity and I wanted to make you smile everyday because it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Everyday I wake and think of you and when I sleep I think of you, you consume me with your laughter and your words of encouragement and your ability to live without abandonment.” You gasp as he slowly opens the small box revealing a ring. The design is simple and elegant, a beautiful stone setting with a unique design on a wider gold band.

“Te amo Hermosa. Will you be mine forever?”

You can’t stop the tears that are pouring down your face, you can’t even properly form any words as you nod your head reaching out for him, standing to his full height, placing the ring on your finger.

“I just need to double check that was a yes?”

“Yes! A million times yes!” You laugh through the still streaming tears, swatting at his chest as you look down at your hand, the ring sitting perfectly on your finger.

“How did you manage to get this all set up? It’s beautiful by the way.”

“I enlisted Hannah to help.”

“Hannah knows?!”

“No. No she doesn’t know what it was for exactly. I just said I wanted to surprise you after a dinner with flowers, I didn’t realize she was going to go all out. Remind me to check my credit card later.”

You kiss him, soaking in the moment with him. “I love you Frankie.” You whisper against his lips before you begin kissing him again.

“Wait, there’s one more thing.” He states as he pulls out his phone. “I also had Hannah show me how to use my phone with the speaker, something about blue teeth?”

It takes him a minute to get it connected, but he manages to get it hooked up. Music begins to play, it’s a softer song and you realize it’s one of your favorites. You’ve played it numerous times over the last few months, claiming that the song remind you of yours and Frankie’s love for each other.

“Can I have this dance?” Tossing his phone to the couch and holding his hand out to you.

“Always.”

The song played on as you both held each other, the soft sway of your bodies around the room. The flicker of the candles still adding a touch of light, laughter and kisses exchanged as he spins you about.

This was only the beginning.

[miseryscrowned]

Six Song Soundtrack

Tagged by @dragonologist-phd, this is literally the perfect challenge tysm for the tag!

Rules: If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following:

An event that defines your character's past

How your character sees themselves

How others view them

Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic)

A major fight scene

End credits song

I have the habit to make playlist for some of my characters, these are from my Dardanos Playlist

Dardanos Soundtrack

1. You’ll Understand - Almah

« You’ll understand all this domain is something you will never tame, through all the slow incessant pain that then made you what you became! Just face your own terror and rise up again! »

As a young Dardanos is consumed by hatred for a world where he’s shunned and alone, the demon who made a deal with his parents before he was born comes to take him to the Hells, speaking these words.

2. One Man Army - Ensiferum

« I will take the lives, lives of my enemies, yet still this battle feels like a defeat to me. Death or victory only emptiness I feel. The spring of hope runs dry, because I'm already dead inside. »

Dardanos sees himself as a killing machine, he doesn’t think he’s capable of feeling hope, happiness or love, only self preservation.

3. Herboren in Vlammen - Heidevolk

« Ziet hen rennend over de heide, vlammend in schaamte voor het ontij dat hij verspreidde. Laat hem lijden en vervloek de dag dat hij de wereld dit onheil bracht. »

« See him running over the moor, burning in shame for the bad times he brought, let him suffer and curse the day that he brought this disaster to the world. »

Dardanos is seen by most in Goudenhaven as not only a murderer but a sort cursed evil demon and even a bad omen, someone who brings disaster, misfortune and death, a lot of this is due to his brutal methods and his trademark: arson.

4. Epilogue - Fleshgod Apocalypse

« I’ll touch your heart again, waken the cold lonely dreamer, I will illuminate your soul wounded by emptiness… »

« I had to face all this scorn, staining my own land with useless tears. Look, now I am too tired to fight and run away from this filling light. »

Saskia is a Stadsridder of the city of Goudenhaven who crossed paths with Dardanos multiple times, she’s able to see through all his defense mechanisms and believes that he’s capable of good. Dardanos on the other hand hides his feelings for her believing it to be a weakness and keeps running away from her.

5. Now We Die - Machine Head

« I need your help for I have knelt, held fist at skies and cried out, “why?” Your shoulder strength, it gives me length. We lift ourselves, together meld, so take my hand, and don't look back… »

The battle of the Black Sun: the city of Goudenhaven is being taken over by vampire cultists and the Stadsridder Saskia is close to giving up as she’s trying to help her injured mentor, Dardanos shows up and convinces her to fight together to save the city.

6. My Negation - Dark Tranquillity

« How can you see my face? What’s to become of me? The art of reduction, stripped down through what seems defendable, scaled to bare revisions to stop making sense, levelling pillars of towering fear… »

As the battle of the Black Sun comes to an end Dardanos finds that his own defense mechanism of anger, violence and fear is crumbling and he’s unsure of who he is underneath and who he will become without it.

~

It seems like I make everything about Dardanos lately, I can’t help it he’s one of my favorite ocs, I def projected a lot of myself onto him (namely my taste in music and my mental health) <3

Tagging: @fantastic-mr-corvid @inquisibrenda @ravencrowley7 @alma-amentet @fllagellant

@blighted-elf @goddevouringserpent @dujour13 @izar-tarazed @wizzardyke

@my-dumb-obsessions @velnat004

Tag List

[lucyonmars]

find the river - matt s.

summary: you’re on vacation in new hampshire with your boyfriend, and life couldn’t be better.

pairings: bf!matt x gf!reader

warnings: suggestive content at one point

word count: 1.1k

author’s note: this is kinda bad too bye.. ANYWAYS! definitely did not base this off of my own life! (me and my family do the exact thing described) (i projected HARD)

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

North Conway, New Hampshire, 2024.

You and your family had always had a special and unique tradition.

Every August, you’d all go spend a few days in the rural town of North Conway and surrounding areas, making way for a quite serene couple of days to yourself. No worrying about school, work, or practically anything other than the classic vacation stuff; weather that could ruin your outdoor plans, if you’d forgotten anything at home, and if your pets were in good hands back home.

It was always your favorite week of the year, filled with tons of memories to keep tucked away in the most precious crevices in your mind, beautiful scenery, and life so romanticized it could be a book, or a painting, or something.

You & Matt, your boyfriend, had been dating for around a year and 3 months, and as soon as he heard of this ongoing tradition, he wanted to join in. Obviously, it was a family thing; he couldn’t butt into that just yet. In a couple years when he’d not only built a bond with you but also your parents and siblings, it could be a talking subject; but for now, it was a no-go.

But there wasn’t a rule against going whatsoever.

“Baby,” he would murmur on a sunny July afternoon, “I know we aren’t doin’ the New Hampshire thing with y’mom and dad and sisters.. but what if we did it on our own?” A smile graced his face, making his features shine. His eyes glimmer, his dimples poke out. “Wanna give it a shot?”

You were, in fact, open to give said plan a shot, and before you knew it, you were sitting in the passenger seat of his van as his right hand rests on your thigh, his thumb gently and lightly stroking against it, as you listen to some of your favorite songs that you’d compiled into a Spotify playlist particularly made for the road trip.

“Look at the mountains!” You murmur giddily, pointing out the window to the hills that were growing higher and higher with each mile we traveled higher north.

“I love it here. And with you? You kiddin’? Am I fuckin’ dreaming, or what?” He chuckles, one hand steering the car to the very right lane, preparing to get off on the exit and go over the White Mountains to finally, after 3 long hours, get to your hotel, a small and subtle little inn nestled right in the center of all the mountains and surrounded by forests, with necessities such as grocery stores and restaurants still nearby. He’d demanded to plan this trip with the goal of making it absolutely perfect for the both of you, and so far, you were pretty confident he’d fully succeeded.

“YES!”

Matt dramatically calls out, unlocking the door to your hotel room, the air conditioner hitting your faces and the typical vacation vibe washing over you both, as you watch him pretty much launch himself onto the one provided queen-sized bed, and you couldn’t help but do the same as you both relished in the peaceful feeling of the soft sheets.

“Y/N, I feel like we’re about to have a shit ton of fun in here.”

“Matt!” You chuckle, nudging his shoulder, even though you booth knew for sure that you’d never take this oppurtunity of both of you being left completely alone in a bedroom for granted.

And indeed you did take it. That night was filled with heavy breaths echoing off of the walls, clashing of lips, and countless waves of pleasure; but most of all, pure love and adoration.

By the time the next morning came, you were both exhausted from the combination of last night’s acts and the road trip the afternoon beforehand, leading to a slow morning filled with, you guessed it, more damn love.

“G’morning.” Matt uttered groggily, his voice muffled from his face being practically buried in a soft pillow, but soon enough, he’d lifted it up and rested it on your chest instead. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good.” You murmur, turning your head to face him. “This place is just so… I feel so carefree, y’know? Going to sleep and waking up as you look at mountains outside your window does wonders, I guess.”

“Funny, s’nothin’ new to me. That’s just how I feel every night I’m with you.”

“Matt, that is the cheesiest, most cliche thing I’ve ever heard.”

“But it’s true.”

Your four days in New Hampshire had almost come to a close. You were both back in the van, all of your stuff packed up, when you saw a small sign indicating a trail of some sort leading to a river.

“Y/n.. how ‘bout one last destination, hm?” He murmurs, pointing to it, already steering before you could even answer the question.

It turned out he’d made the right decision, because as soon as you two started walking the trail and heard the rushing water in the distance, you knew this would be the highlight of the whole trip. That only solidified once you came up to the river itself, water cascading over the rocks, countless differently colored stones, and bird calls coming from every direction.

Snapping a picture of Matt in front of it as he adjusted his hat, you smile. “C’mon, let’s go explore.”

And that you did. You spent hours by the river chatting about anything and everything; music, TV shows, movies, current world events, pretty much every single thought that came to either of your minds. You both found stones that matched the other’s eye color, watched as small chipmunks and fluttering robins lived their simple lives, until the day’s end was near, orange-ish light washing over the body of water.

“Shit, what time is it?”

“Uhhh.. 7:00, my phone says.”

“Jesus, how long have we been here, 3 hours?” You snort, shaking your head. You both never wanted the day to end, enough that you stayed even longer until nature practically forced you out, bugs starting to come out and the sun setting altogether.

As Matt drove home under the dusky sky, you could hardly stay awake. So tired from the 4 days of pure sunshine, yet so content with how your life was going at this very moment.

“Hey.” Matt tapped gently on your shoulder, unintentionally interrupting your trance.

“Mmm?”

“I really enjoyed that. I love you, you know that, right?” He smiled, the last of the daylight shining in his eyes.

“..I love you too.” You smiled, not expecting the sudden sentiment, but you sure as hell were not complaining whatsoever.

From then on, every year in addition to and eventually in place of your family vacations, you’d go to the exact same spots you went that day, even eventually going with your own children, and spreading the love through generations, feeling the same peace and joy every year without fail.

[nczaversnick]

Writblr Interview

Thanks for the tag @willtheweaver

Short stories, novels or poems?

I’m definitely a novel guy, both for reading and writing.

What genre do you prefer reading?

Definitely fantasy and mythology. But I often cross into sci fi and dystopians

What genre do you prefer writing?

I am honestly not sure how to answer this, given that I’ve done almost nothing but work on one project for over a decade

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

I start out with an outline but when I get down to the scenes I like to wait and see what happens then adjust my plans accordingly

What music do you listen to while writing?

I have playlists for some characters but on the whole I pretty much just have one playlist with all of my music on it that I hit shuffle on every time.

Favorite books/movies?

Oh cmon we’ll be here all day. I grew up on pretty much everything made by Jim Henson or Mel Brooks and I listen to audiobooks 40 hours a week at my factory job. I burn through a lot of material XD8 to summarize my favorite movie is The Princess Bride, and my favorite book is The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen

Any current WIPs?

For the most part just Project Gemini.

Fandomverse is an rp chain, and I mostly do art for this not so much writing snippets

Elemental High is an idea I’ve been toying with. it’s basically Project Gemini, if it were a Disney Channel series. I think it’d be super interesting to see how I as a writer could tell the same story through a completely different lense/ how would the story change if I changed its intended audience?

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

Lucky for all of you, I did make a cartoon me. The color would change based on what color my hair is

Create a character description of yourself:

If I thought anybody in an orthodontics factory was about to be isekaied or find a weird portal into another dimension it was this guy. He was at least 20 years younger than everyone else in the building and, in a lot of cases, twice that. But despite being super easy to spot in a crowd, he never really says much without prompting. Still, as loud as he is in a visual sense, he never seems entirely here. Like the voices in his head are more interesting than anything going on around him. Dude fucking lights up if you mention pizza though.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Not consciously no. People will say Quinn is based off my enby stoner best friend but from my point of view, I don’t know many enby stoners who aren’t like Quinn. But as a whole I like to let the characters tell me who they are. Any resemblance to someone real or imagined is purely coincidental.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

Rachelle, my partner for Project Gemini, would say yes. I have elected not to comment

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Hate to be the odd one out here but an ice cold Dr. Pepper is what I go for

Slow or fast writer?

If I can get a glove going I can write badly pretty fast. But overall, I’m 13 years into the only real project I’ve ever had and I’m still not done with book 1

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

It helps for me to keep consuming new stories but honestly, the best inspiration comes from the interactions about my work from all of you out there. Unmatched. (Shoutout to @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet and @the-letterbox-archives for giving me so much)

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Probably a librarian of some kind, just like I’m trying to do in real life. But I’m way to exhausted and disabled for that adventuring crap XD8

Most fav book cliche:

Oh I don’t know how to describe it. When the protagonist is a young boy without a father and they find a father figure/mentor/bodyguard. I eat that shit up and I don’t see it very often. [examples would be Sage and Mott from the Ascendance Trilogy/series by Jennifer A Nielsen and Matt and Tam Lin in The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer

Least favorite cliche:

I really hate it when a main character (regardless of gender) is passive. It’s just so not fun to read about someone who never takes action in their situations.

Fav scene to write?

Almost any of Cas and Adrian’s interactions. I adore their dynamics

Reason for writing?

Because I’ve got shit inside my head and it’s not doing any good in there so I might as well get it out here.

Tagging: @honeybewrites @wyked-ao3 @kittrrrr @zackprincebooks @theverumproject @the-golden-comet @fractured-shield @poppycat-writes @illarian-rambling @finickyfelix @kuebiko-writing @yourpenpaldee @the-letterbox-archives @moltenwrites @davycoquette @drchenquill @leahnardo-da-veggie +open tag

[midnightfire830]

I just saw your post for the band Au, and I so love your designs for them! Especially for Boris. Questions for today, what are some of the questers favorite music genres? Do they have any competition with other bands? Will some familiar faces be joining this Au? Are any of the band members interest in a relationship? And who is Bendy and Boris caretaker? Last one can be unanswered

Hi! I’m so glad you enjoy their designs! I’ve been working on that drawing for so freaking long lol.

Their favorite music genres would be mostly punk rock or just in general rock.

Bendy and Boris preferring some of the older rock music dating back to Elvis Presley to current. They appreciates some of the grunge from the 90s too. Bendy also listens to a lot of more modern techno and pop music. Especially ones that are strong with the more computer created sound effects, heavy beat drops, and bass. I’m not sure how to describe it but songs that aren’t only instruments but also includes computer created sound effects, that sort of thing.

Cuphead listens to a wide variety of music depending on his mood. He listens to general rock genres but he also appreciates songs about things he relates to on a personal level. It doesn’t always matter the vibe, but if the lyrics strike a chord with him he’ll add it to his listen playlist (this is also in my Cyberpunk AU lol, Cup just has the same music taste throughout my AUs) He also loves indie and alternative rock.

Mugman seems like the kind of guy to listen to musicals. He’s a romantic, so of course he’d listen to a lot of Hamilton, Justin Paul and Benj Pasek; Andrew Lloyd Webber, and Disney songs. And I guess in general any songs about love, romance, and that have a good vibe.

No competition so far that I can think of. Idk… maybe the butcher gang??!?!? I dunno!?!? There’s not a whole lot of groups that aren’t taken in IM that I can turn into a band.

You will see a lot of faces! The Circus gang, Black Hat, Felix, the girls, Fanny, Sarah, etc etc…

Bendy, Mugman, and Cuphead are all in relationships tho they usually keep it on the down-low. Boris is Aro/ace. I think you guys can kinda guess who is shipped with who… tho bendy keeps his relationship secret from the public.

And Bendy and Boris’ Caretaker?

WHO’S THAT PARENTAL FIGURE???? IT’S GRANNYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! XDDDDDD

I’m sorry I had to…

Revealing Granny as a Pokémon?? 100% worth it…

Thanks for the ask!!!!!!!

🤣

[currymanganese]

"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks to @all-inmoderation @bioloyg & @imliterallyjustablackgirl for tagging me! ❤️

Star Sign(s):

Sagittarius Sun, Virgo Moon, Pisces Rising <- What does it all mean? No idea! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Favorite Holidays:

Eid, Divali & Christmas <- Not for religious considerations, I associate them with having lots of delicious food, which is precious to me. 🤰🏽

Last Meal:

A slice of pawpaw (papaya), stew chicken, black eyed peas, white rice and sorrel juice. <- #grateful thanks mom 😔

Current Favorite Musician:

Khruangbin because Mark, Laura and DJ are all super talented and disciplined musicians, but also because I want the band's lead guitarist, Mark Speer and the bassist, Laura Lee, but especially Mark Speer, in ways that would shock and alarm you, like IDK anything about his personal life, but I think I'd combust if I met him. Mark if you're reading this that smut chapter in my songfic WIP was only possible because I just know you're good with your-[GUNSHOTS] <- He's not reading this, finish the meme! 😤

Last Music Listened To:

Total Control by The Motels for a The Bear meta post that I did and Hope Tala's "All My Girl's Like To Fight' from my small playlist of songs that I headcanon that Syd and Carmy from The Bear (2022) listen to. The playlist serves as a writing aid for me because regardless of the actual musical tastes of Syd and Carmy in the show's canon, this is a small sample of what the two of them like to listen to as I've characterized them in my fic.

Last Movie Watched:

Precious (2009) I was traumatizing myself and [SPOILERS]

Carmen Berzatto in my WIP fic, because Syd insults him using a gif from the movie and Carmy ends up watching this film so he'd understand the reference because he is a loser and is obsessed with his totally platonic coworker and he wants to know everything about her. 😔

Last TV Show Watched:

Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, @devisrina convinced me, but I haven't finished watching it yet and I'm not to sure when I'll resume because The Bear and Sydcarmy still have me in thrall. 😔

Last Book/Fic Finished:

Last book finished, Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson. Last fic finished.....I shan't say - I'll describe it though - it was a seedy, sketchy, funny, smutty, crack ship one shot gag fic on AO3. I'm ashamed of myself, some of those words in that fic were in The Bible, but chile........anyways. Moving on!

Last Book/Fic Abandoned:

Last book I stopped reading - Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson - Dalinar Kholin, you stupid cunt, why do you always-[GUNSHOTS] <-Girl walk away from the book if it's stressing you that bad, c'mon now - the fictional character's dumb decisions can't hurt you. I'm actually planning on finishing it someday, but I watched The Bear when I was a quarter of the way through the book and now I am totally useless for almost everything else.

Currently Reading:

Ten Myths About Israel by Ilan Pappe, get a free ebook copy of it here while you can. Also the Gaza Diary by Ziad, a 35 year old Palestinian man.

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation:

High blood pressure and pregnancy, and maternity leave in the US of A, and before that CBT case studies and CPTSD and ADHD, and before that meningitis and sepsis. <- All for my current Sydcarmy WIP.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory:

The day Richonne went canon, or rather that era. <- Love it when racists suffer, schadenfreude can be something so personal. 🥴

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence:

I want Star Wars and BNHA to be good, but alas....Next question. <- Anyways these franchise/series are making money hand over fist still, nobody cares if I never care about them again, but I do love the ship Inko Midoriya/All Might from BNHA and I ship UkaTake from Haikyuu!! <- I had a lot of fun in that niche marketplace for a time.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did:

The Blue Castle by LM Montgomery FUCKS severely - I'm glad that it got a boost on here with The Blue Castle Book Club. Ms. Montgomery put her whole pussy into that book, every single cell and I relate to the book's protagonist, Valancy, quite a lot.

Also, The Queen's Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner has a smallish, but fairly active following on Tumblr, but it deserves the energy that is devoted to some more popular YA fantasy/historical novel series. <- All of these books are re-readable af, 10/10 no notes.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Reign In/Don't Have Time For:

No such thing because I am unemployed. <- have mercy on me O God! It's been the first year of my adult life that I haven't been in university or running myself through the gristmill of capital and I feel trapped and anxious and fed the fuck up. I hate it here, goddamn!

Sorry to end on such a bummer of a note, but thank you for reading if you've read this far and please, regardless of if you were tagged, play along if you can! I've seen a lot of my mutuals tagged in these things before, so apologies if you've already done this, but*

@vacationship @anxietycroissant @bulabujalam @tvfantic87 @devisrina @dreadfuldevotee @mod-doodles <- please come back to me, Mod, darling, I miss you! 🥲 @jub-jub @pureseasalt <- bestie I miss you too! @ashluvsu4ever @cchickki @parrradiseeee @margaery-bonaparte-said-so @seleneofthejungle @prowitchazel @gardenianoire @artemis0404 @polymorphposting @hauntedstrawberrygiver @justabovewater20 @monetbonet @sab-teraa @agoodworkerdoes @melfinawins @melaninerd @iwantadecentblogname @persephonelovesbooks @november-rising @yannaryartside @bitchqueenofthebitchsquad @waywarddeee @myelegieseulogizeme @paddington22017 @ruethrills @techliche @erins-quinn @sydcarmyfan @lunasink @perkedelktg @couldbemaybe @msmoiraine @darkostudios-blog @angelica4equity @theonlyamazingtazmin @mswyrr @chansoooo1-blog

*pretends all of your blog names rhyme with pikachu*, I choose you!

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

One to five tag

I was tagged by @whumpacabra thanks <3

📝 Follow the prompts, change one if you like, and tell the lovely world of writeblr a little something about your WIP!

I'm gonna swap some around, because I don't have a playlist and only have two songs 🤫That's my change then.

Those answers are for Sweet Little Lies (WIP Intro | Ebook), since I am too early in my actual WIPs to do that with them. I guess it's no longer a "P" then, but who cares. It stands for "work is published" now. Also my baby flopped completely, and if I'm not talking about it, then who is.

One word to describe your WIP?

Sweet.

Two songs from your WIP playlist?

Evynne Hollens & Peter Hollens - Dance Forever Tonight

Eugen Doga - Gramofon Waltz

Three tropes in your WIP?

I think we've settled by now that I have no idea what's a trope and what isn't, and I just went through a whole list of romance novel tropes and couldn't find a single one that truly fit :/

So I'm just gonna make shit up.

Love is a decision

It takes a crime to get rid of a criminal

Older characters (40+)

Four of your favorite lines from your WIP?

“I’m blind.” Aurelia crossed her arms. “I guarantee you I have seen nothing, and unless the perpetrator walks in here and introduces themselves, I won’t be of much help with your investigation.”

[He had to] Ask her if she wanted him to take care of it in a way that didn’t straight up sound like he was going to put this Gabrel six feet under. Six feet under was Cedric’s style, not his.

“Tealberry, huh?” He snorted. “Shouldn’t that be purple?”

“A woman does not have to be hurt to bleed, sir.” She put as much disdain into her words as she dared.

Five feelings from your WIP’s characters?

Curiosity, Uncertainty, Anger, Fear, Trust

I'm not sure who to tag, but perhaps @cryptidwritings (if you can leave Gale alone for 10 min, if not I understand completely), or @mundanemoongirl if you want to do it, or just an open tag.

One word to describe your WIP? Two songs from your WIP playlist? Three tropes in your WIP? Four of your favorite lines from your WIP? Five feelings from your WIP’s characters?

[pluckysidekick]

I’m back with Part 2 of my playlist of Great American Songbook standards and other classic songs that embody Nace’s journey in Season 4, inspired by @emorfili’s post. Check out Part 1 here. Both posts contain Spotify links, but you can find all of these tracks on Apple Music and YouTube. DM me for a link to the entire playlist. Shall we?

1. Picking up with fan favorite Episode 408, George Benson’s 1976 slammin’ This Masquerade, written by Leon Russell, works on so many levels for this episode: Nancy and Ace having to pretend to be each other in front on Thom, acting as if everything is OK between them, with neither saying what they really feel. “We tried to talk it over but the words got in the way, We're lost inside this lonely game we play.”

2. They Can’t Take That Away from Me is so perfect for the 408 sunset scene when Ace returns Nancy’s necklace, and they seem to come to some kind of peace (for the present). They may not have been able to make it work, but they still have a deep bond that no one can take away. Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong’s duet of the Gershwin classic is the version.

3. Witchcraft - Frank Sinatra’s definitive version works for so much of Nancy Drew, but I picked it for Episode 409 for Nancy and Ace’s twin supernatural storylines, each of them beginning to fall for someone who may not be what they seem, and of course for Bess’s day in court defending the supernatural, and exposing the real history of Horseshoe Bay with witchcraft.

4. Nancy tells Nick in 409 that she wants a relationship that’s simpler than the ‘messy’ state of things with Ace (although note the look on her face as she says it). A Sunday Kind of Love by Etta James describes so well what Nancy thinks she wants in 409 and going into 410. Meanwhile Ace is falling under the spell of his mystery ghost - you could even say he’s Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered (I would). I went with Doris Day’s classic take from 1950.

5. Speaking of 410, I had to give a nod to Tristan Glass with Nat King Cole’s Nature Boy. Poor Tristan really goes through it this season and especially in this episode as he fights for his life when his would-be date shoots him, and from which he recovers only for his parents to kidnap and attempt to sacrifice her. I hope he has a nice life!

6. Episode 411 has Nancy crashing Ace’s Seder and causing a storm inside The Claw when she tries to raise Alice to discover how she died. Harold Arlen’s Stormy Weather sung by Lena Horne really drives home Ace’s stormy emotions, Nancy’s desperation (“Don't know why, there's no sun up in the sky, Stormy weather, Since my man and I ain't together, keeps raining all of the time”) and Alice’s pain that generates the storm.

7. Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea - The tension between Nancy and Ace that spills over from 411 to Episode 412 is all the more shocking because we’re used to them being soft with each other. But once Nancy is hot on the trail of the sin she erased, she’s not going to give up. Harold Arlen’s song, here sung by Tony Bennett in 1964, perfectly depicts that tension as Ace tries to give Nancy the runaround (and of course she isn’t having it): “I don’t want you, But I hate to lose you, You’ve got me in between, The devil and the deep blue sea”.

8. I’ve Got You Under My Skin - The venom that erupts when Ace & Nancy repeatedly confront each other in 412 couldn’t exist without the strong feelings that still run under the surface. Nancy admitting that she hasn’t moved on, and the look Ace gives her - they’ve got each other under their skin. Frank Sinatra’s 1956 gorgeous recording of the Cole Porter tune mirrors the back and forth of the star-crossed lovers throughout the season, but especially as we near the end.

9. “Oh Sinnerman, where you going to run to?” That’s the question this traditional spiritual continues to ask throughout Nina Simone’s 1965 powerhouse of a track. Nancy and Ace are both on the run in 412 — Nancy toward the truth of their sin, and Ace away from it. In Episode 413, they work together with the Crew and Tristan to lift the sin fog that’s infected the town, and discover Nancy’s soul connection to the root of the town’s sin. This legendary recording captures the frenetic energy of Nancy and Ace’s journey toward redemption and forgiveness.

10. The finale quickly moves from chaos to resolution of all of our favorite characters’ futures — and for Nancy and Ace’s relationship. Johnny Hartman’s voice on 1963’s My One and Only Love is simply beautiful, capturing Ace’s emotion as he finally comes back to Nancy, heart in hand. Swoon.

11. It Had to Be You - I had to include this one, recorded by Harry Connick, Jr. for another epic slow burn, friends to lovers romance, 1989’s When Harry Met Sally. Nancy and Ace are the soulmates that chose each other (and their friends), which this song’s lyrics capture so perfectly: “For nobody else gives me a thrill, with all your faults, I love you still, it had to be you, wonderful you, it had to be you.”

12. Cheek to Cheek - We didn't get the 6 minute director's cut of this scene that included a little dance with a dip (grr), but we did get that sense of effervescence once Ace and Nancy have broken the curse. Ella and Louis trading off verses on Irving Berlin's timeless classic is just the mood.

13. Ending on a sentimental note, At Last Nancy and Ace are together, and they and all of the Crew have the next part of their journeys mapped out. This lovely Etta James 1960 track is a perfect ending for this playlist, and for Nancy and Ace, Bess, George, and Nick as they say goodbye to The Claw.

So there you have it, my picks for Nace S4, classic style. Would love to hear what you think! Tell me your favorite pick, what I missed, or what you would have chosen instead. Hope this playlist brings a little joy this festive season - I think it’s the perfect background soundtrack for reading all of the @secretsleuthexchange fics!

[pocima]

My seasonal music highlights: winter 2024 🧣

Welcome to a new series of my silly music-blogging. Starting it because I want to regularly properly write about and describe the songs I enjoy, and to present my own candidates for the unofficial “song of the season” awards. I already started an annual fav list for albums/EPs and wanted something less major and more presentable as a little playlist, not really in particular order. Enjoy! Note that I kept the list one song per artist, most have incredible new releases outside of the ones focused on, these are just my picks for the season or my most played. And let me tell you, countless artists are dropping new music and projects left and right and I’m getting FED. This list alone is extremely abundant and we’re barely 2 full months into the year. The competition for this year’s personal favorite album spots and the highlights for the next seasons is about to be real tough. Can’t wait. (GIF source: MV for Cyberia by Meth Math.)

❅ winter again - 4s4ki

What better way to start a songs of the winter list than with THE anthem of this winter season? With her ability to not only pull off but absolutely excel at the different genres she incorporates into her music, 4s4ki simply never disappoints. She went into the studio with a mission to give the famous Last Christmas by Wham! a true successor and the mission was wonderfully accomplished. In this mellow 80s pop influenced track, she channels her inner Cocteau Twins (word to that one YouTube comment in the lyric video) while longing for a loved one that didn’t seem to stay by her side not even to have some canned coffee and bento this holiday season. Now I’m gonna channel my inner platonic delulu and say that it was released just on time, when I was discovering and especially feeling Boy Harsher’s alternative 80s inspired music (collab when?). Ironic how a self-described reverse Christmas song ended up doubling my winter spirits. She never fails to give me exactly what I need. I love this woman. (Big ups to Magic sword but as I mentioned I’m keeping the list one song per artist.)

❅ 4eva - Shygirl feat. Empress Of

You know from my username that I’ve been loving what Shygirl has had to offer for quite a while now, and 4eva was my personal post-Nymph jam ever since I heard a snippet of it back in last September and neither the full studio version nor my intuition let me down. Shygirl’s rapping and Empress Of’s verse over the Kingdom-produced delicious wobbly synths indeed stay playing on my mind. Empress Of’s feature came as a tracklist surprise and I’m more grateful for it than I had expected. The jungle drums in the chorus, and honestly the structure of the song in general were unexpected to me as well, but nevertheless they took part in forming possibly my favorite dance track of 2024. Both the Club Shy EP and 4eva have secured firm spots in my favorites of the year.

❅ Deer Teeth - Sega Bodega

Father of music, first ever man in the music industry, smash hit sorcerer, my favorite producer of all time… However you may refer to Sega Bodega, you can always rely on him to create an entire universe in one record and take you there and back. With Deer Teeth, he tells a story of a sighting of a late mother laid to rest with her child in a swan’s wings along with 200 deer teeth (hence the song title), which brings with itself a tale of hope, sacrifice and eternity. With reversed and distorted vocals, the addition of Mayah Alkhateri’s siren-like voice and obviously Sega’s otherworldly production style, the tale transforms into a cinematic masterpiece in sound form. Extra note: perfect to fall asleep to in a road trip, tried and tested. Both Deer Teeth and his newer single Set Me Free, I’m an Animal are stunning masterpieces, and I know this will make my year-end album list real predictable but SB3 is the most solid candidate for the top spot as of right now. Save me Sega Bodega, save me…

❅ Ex-Girlfriend - Erika de Casier feat. Shygirl

New slow R&B earworms drawing on different nostalgic genres couldn’t be more perfect for the chilly season, especially when they’re delivered by the one and only Erika de Casier. She has this ability to mix the best musical aspects of the near past (namely the 90s/00s) with her very own sensuality, freshness and uniqueness. Her soft vocals over a down-tempo R&B beat to match come after an orchestral, arguably dramatic intro and the melancholic, yearning yet cocky-ish tone is set. Shygirl’s deep, almost raspy voice always shines with slow, gloomy instrumentals (also seen in Lapdance from Asia by Cosha) and this track was no exception, matter of fact it’s now certainly one of my favorite features of hers. I will be returning to this song not only on the colder days of March, but the whole year, or rather until it’s wiped off existence completely.

❅ Cyberia - Meth Math

Before the quirky experimental trio’s slightly overdue, highly anticipated debut album Chupetones (go give the best b-side Pócima a listen too), they released 4 singles and I was not at all aware beforehand of the release of the third one. Pressed play, was impressed, pressed the loop button and the rest (at least 80 plays within the first week) was history. The intro immediately catches your attention, and the descriptions of a sad-looking happily-dancing angel over toot sounds, ripping synths and bonking bass transition into happy hardcore perfection. The 3-second bit before the second chorus gets me the most, it’s like a minuscule break to slow down and reflect on the all the absurdity before resuming the alien dancefloor madness. This banger completes my Meth Math song holy trinity, which is now Tambaleo-Fantasía Final-Cyberia. Add Pócima into the mix if you wanna form the four horsemen. Whatever your personal favorite may be, we can all agree that Meth Math always come at us with excellence.

❅ dOpamine - OnlyOneOf

Hallelujah. We have finally reached an era where all lyOns can live in harmony and sleep in peace instead of fighting over title tracks and new lows for the group’s flaming hot garbage record label. Even their biggest haters (so-called “fans” with a strange superiority complex) were finally praising an OnlyOneOf title track, and with how good it really is I’d be admiring their dedication to hating their own faves if they didn’t. Anyway, dOpamine is one of their best, it really is. I’ve been hoping for them to get on the drum & bass train for quite a while now, and they did it with a bright, twinkling, breakbeat-incorporating twist. They don’t lazily dip their toes into dnb and breakcore and leave it at that though, the buildups and structure of the track stay fascinating and the bridge drifts (should I intend the pun?) into their gritty industrial side before the outro closing out the song on a vocally strong, passionate but never over-the-top note. While the whole mini is exquisite, the lead single ended up being my favorite. Simply put, OnlyOneOf never fail to deliver quality K-pop against all odds.

❅ Sorbet - Kelela (LSDXOXO Remix)

The pre-release singles off of the RAVE:N remix album were all incredible just like its album tracks, however this gem is particularly lingering on me and my February mood. This spin on Sorbet encapsulates the AM club aspect of the project in one re-envisioned tune. Kelela and LSDXOXO, who produced and remixed numerous of her songs, reunite as a power duo to turn the dulcet, sedate Sorbet into a Eurodance-coded amped-up slapper that will get anyone moving. You can tell the song is DJ set opener material from when the first beat kick. The chorus melody sticks to your mind and the late night-like sonic experience becomes unforgettable. The special encounter requiring dim lighting is now set in a flashy rave scene. Completely flipped scenario yet everything makes perfect sense. All in all, Kelela’s vision for her dance records is 20/20 and LSDXOXO’s execution never leaves you hanging either.

❅ Fuetazo - Isabella Lovestory feat. Villano Antillano

Born to embody camp, forced… no, also born to be a hit maker. Isabella is undebatably one of the freshest, most outstanding figures of neoperreo and neoreggaeton, and her eccentric flare still comes through in a single as a (hopefully) pre-album snack. Fuetazo was released early into the season and closed out Isabella’s activities for the year. While the playful chorus introduces a whip that comes and goes, Villano Antillano mentions vacations and 42-inch weaves with her tone that meshes with the cheekiness of the track, and their chopped up vocal bits go back-and-forth in the outro. With the Chicken, Kamixlo and Dinamarca producer trio, the instrumentals can’t go wrong. The hard-hitting dembow drums and the lighter synths and other aspects of the song create a contrast that feels like a breeze, maybe more of a summer one even but a confidence booster gots to stay on rotation regardless of weather or temperature.

❅ Messy Room - The Deep (+ mini EP review)

Had I postponed the release of my 2023 fave project list just a little, the Messy Room EP would have at least scored an honorable mention. For those who need a quick debrief: The Deep is an independent K-alternative artist whose discography radiates coziness and sweetness. Mayhaps I should say sugar, spice and everything nice. Taking part in the production of her music, creative direction and visual curation, she ticks all the boxes for the bedroom pop star that should’ve reached her target audience ages ago. While she’s taken inspiration from R&B and indie and still does, “resurfaced” genres such as UK garage, dnb and Jersey club are fairly newer additions to her range. I love all of these genres as you could tell and I adore the songs in which she uses them (got into her through the UKG bop Muah!), but surprisingly the track that glanced at her “roots” hooked me in the most. Maybe it’s because it contains the core “messy room” atmosphere of the EP, maybe it’s her soft vocals shining brightly, maybe it’s because she has the recipe to making a tune to unwind to. I hope this praise doesn’t sound like a jab at the rest of the EP because not a single skip is detected over there. In Brand New House and BAPPI, The Deep talks about deserving the luxuries and getting to the bag over garage and house beats. bow wow is about confidence despite troubles and annoyances, while 20’s is a self-reflection on the constant search for perfection and attempts to heal. The project is most definitely worth checking out if you want a bit of calm, refreshing new music, or if you’re looking for a multi-skilled artist to support.

One line section (music I loved but honestly don’t have as much to say about, so I fit my thoughts into one line/sentence)

❆ Gold On Me: Mother ABRA is back and I’m definitely checking out Groupthink after this, now it’s time for the album innit 🍽️ (should’ve definitely written about this in more detail but maybe another time soz)

❆ 4 noviosS: While everyone came to Club Shy to play, she entered with pen and paper and a goal.

❆ Perdió Este Culo: I have to give flowers where they’re due, I wish the La Joia album had more quality of this level though. (However shoutout to Sexy, La Que No Se Mueva and Sin Carné.)

❆ TYOSTAR: Can’t tell if their music is aimed at dudebros (disgustingly irritating audience) or hyperpop girlies (slightly less irritating audience) but they scored a night ride hit either way, definitely one of Starkids’ finest to date.

Thankies for getting here, and shoutout to @chuuuvi for pretty much directly fueling my writing process and inspo and @a-moth-to-the-light for inspo as well 😁

[xxsycamore]

🎼 an accidental serenade~ imagine singing alone in the kitchen while Napoleon stands in the hallway unnoticed, listening with a smile. When getting the chorus, however, he joins in as you dance, at first out of your line of sight, then making his presence known as he takes your hand for a drip.

Song that I had in mind was Sway (originally sung by Michael Buble, but this anon is partial to annapantsu's cover version)

Anon.... the scene you described is touching my soul, no kidding... even the song, the Dean Martin version, used to be in an oldie playlist of mine that I listened in my early ikevamp days, meaning that...surely some Napo thoughts have been thought... How I'm supposed to write now?! Thank you for this, hope you enjoy! ❤

[🎼] 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚞𝚗𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝙽𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐。。。

NAPOLEON:

Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore

Hold me close, sway me more

The call of your name thankfully remains unvoiced behind Napoleon's lips, as soon as he approaches the kitchen. He meant to come and help you, since he returned home early today - to the mouth-watering aroma of one of his favorite dishes coming from the kitchen, no less. Recently you've been humbling his status as the master chef in the relationship, in a way he's simultaneously proud of you, and willing to show off- ahem, lend a hand, more often.

But it's the secret ingredient - love - that you're currently adding to the dish, that disarms him completely. He remains hidden behind the door, listening to your carefree song, accompanied by the clatter of utensils. A genuine smile plays on Napoleon's lips, listening to your melodic voice singing the lines:

When we dance you have a way with me

Stay with me, sway with me

An invitation is what he hears, the call of a siren, the most self-composed man would fall in - he never stood a chance, he's terribly, helplessly inlove with you - before the fire can consume him fully, he keeps the smile on, chin up, turning the doorknob.

Only you have the magic technique

When we sway I go weak

You sigh dreamily, the task at hand limiting your dancing steps as you linger above the stove, feet refusing to halt for long. You're feeling remarkably good today; the day is sunny and the perfect temperature of warm, the only thing missing from the picture being your lover, whose presence you try to preserve inbetween the lines of a love song.

Swaying into the chorus of the song with voice raising an octave, you make a turn, the voice of someone intertwining with yours making you jump - but strong hands keep you grounding in the rhythm of the song, raising one of your hands in the air, initiating a spin - at the end of which, the spinning world stopping at the image of Napoleon's face.

"Make me thrill as only you know how

Sway me smooth, sway me now..."

You've forgotten about singing, and here is it coming so easily to him - voice euphonious and rich, finishing each line soulfully; accenting on the word "you", eyes holding eyes same as the hands - push off, spin, pull in close. Yet, there is something so casual about it all, the flappy end of your apron swinging around you with every move, and notes of laughter breaking the rhythm when you pick up the song again in a sudden duet with your lover. You guess you DID serenade him just now, accidentally... why not sing the rest before he has the chance to make it about you?

The only one objecting is the stove, as sizzling noises get to the attention of both of you.

"All this swaying and swinging around, yet noone is there to give the pot a good stir... We got well distracted, didn't we, Nunuche?"

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