#SOMEONE PUNCH ME

[stressghoul]

yet again it’s that time of day when I need to rewatch a tobias interview for the 166th time bc his voice makes me forget about every problem I have in my life

[erodadisc]

the feminine urge to be bella hadid.

[ayakoito]

I'm tired but can't sleep. What in the f*cking insomnia is this???

[docdalas]

if i put half as much effort into life as i do trying to learn morse code and write left handed (for literally no reason) i may actually be a productive member of society 🤡

[x-authorship-x]

a spy/sugar daddy au? 👀 I'm super curious what you came up with when anon asked abt Jiraiya/Shisui....

Oh god I'm about to write Shisui/Jiraiya oh god someone stop meeeeee

(/jk, anon)

So the spy/sugar daddy tag is actually accurate for this as a description-

Shisui is an Uchiha.

And to be an Uchiha is to be a master of deceit.

You'd think a spy network that consisted purely of family would be laughably easy to destroy; just folllow the birth records, right? Mother to son and son to sister, onwards and onwards like a web that only needs one string pulled before unravelling.

It was assumptions like that which made the Uchiha so dangerous.

(Shisui's grandfather, Kagami, had been intentionally put into the foster system to infiltrate the Senju, not that they'd been aware of it. Senju Tobirama, no doubt, had worked a few pieces out but the whole picture? Never.)

So, there Shisui was, one of a small army of butlers that kept the Shimura's household working like a well-oiled machine, when one of the greatest opportunities in the entire career of the Uchiha Clan presented itself. Even better than tearing down a rival crime lord - masquerading as a business tycoon, but it was basically the same thing, semantics - from the inside out, and the chance almost fell into his lap!

Or, rather, Shisui fell into it's.

"Oof!"

Large hands reflexively settled around Shisui's hips, warmth searing through layers of satin waistcoat and ironed shirt and straight through to his skin. He jolted, squirming, but there was nothing to salvage the reality that Shisui had tripped over a discarded bottle and fallen right into the Sannin Jiraiya's lap.

"I'm-!"

Was Shisui artfully mussed? Ebony curls a halo around his sculpted face, his eyes - his best feature, spies had to know all strengths - lined with tiny flicks and his lips reddened with (lipstain) worry?

Jiraiya's mouth stretched into a large grin, handsome enough for the leer to work for him. The immoral bastard, not that Shisui had much defence. "Sensei, you shouldn't have!"

His grip only tightened and Shisui, with some practice, managed to yelp convincingly. The grin widened again. Shisui prayed that Jiraiya wouldn't be suspicious of a butler with this much muscle definition hidden under their uniform. Even workers used the gym, right?

Sarutobi Hiruzen passed a hand over his eyes and reached for one of the cigars Shisui had been bringing him, now scattered across the low table but undamaged. "The boy tripped over your mess, Jiraiya. If anything, it's your fault. An accident."

It hadn't been but sure.

"A thousand apologies-"

Sarutobi kept speaking as if Shisui didn't exist. Then again, the staff very much didn't to these types.

"Please focus on the annual reports- and let the boy go."

Jiraiya did no such thing. From the way he'd been focusing on the sake and the food over business, Shisui had been a perfectly timed distraction.

Literally.

"I think I'll be keeping him, actually," Jiraiya chuckled, dragging his eyes appreciatively over Shisui's features and then down to the lean legs stretched over his own. "If he doesn't object?"

The payout for infiltrating the Legendary Sannin mercenaries would've been worth it, regardless.

But, in actual fact, Shisui didn't mind either.

[sculien]

i know i said to punch me in the throat the next time i made a post about wanting to change my url

but hear me out

what if i change my url again

[nandemonaiwow]

Day 10 - Looks To The Moon

[ofthestcrs]

Yes I tech use Pedro as the fc for Din, but what if I used him as an fc for an oc?? What then???!!!

[gothgril69]

i think i should just say fuck it and finally upload the first chapter of my royalty fic

im obsessing over it too much

[depressedtheatrekiddo]

Reading Blue Beetle (2006) again <3

This time my thoughts while reading issues from 7 to 8 !! 🪲

(spoilers under the cut as usual ajsj)

Me when I exist (I love this shit):

+ FIELD TRIP WITH THE FAM LET'S GOOO!!

+ Jaime I love you (he's me I'm him) (how old was he during this? We might even be the same age 😌)

ALSO BRENDA IS HEREEEE!!!! HIII BRENDA 💘💕💗💞

+ Right in the old sibling issues ✋😔😭 HE ALSO CALLED HER MUNCHKIN ON THE NEXT PANEL NOBODY TOUCH ME 😭😭😭 (I promise I'm a serious person and I'll write about their relationship in deep but I'm just a silly guy rn)

+ Peacemaker is back HE'S BACK??!! Good explanation on who Peacemaker is bug guy 👍

+ BOOSTER GOLD MENTION❗❗

+ Quick kit kat but I love that all of Jaime's family and close friends know about him idk how to express it but seeing a superhero be supported by his loved ones feels so good and refreshing (besides they're all super cool and intelligent and practical)

+ Me when Batsy appears: *starts laughing with no reason*

Also this panels

Then Jaime's mom going "well if Superman asked you"

+ THE SAME TECHNOLOGY OF THE SCARAB???!!!! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT—

+ I love when the panels are like half Jaime half Blue Beetle, so sick man

+ "Blow it up" is a good tip I believe.

But also what? 🧍🏻 Can someone please explain to me what Dinah said about Ollie being upset and the poverty thing, please? :d

+ "I just want to go home" bro my sweet bug guy, I'm so sorry (JL better hide now, y'all had dared to bring Jaime into all this, now suffer the consequences)

+ NONONONONONONONNONOOOO 😭😭 pleaseplease see him see him please c'mon 😭😭😭

+ "You're heroes! Don't leave me alone!" Nobody fucking noticed? Asshats I'm gonna fucking fistfight everyone

+ STOP THIS SHIT😭😭 My bug guy I love you I'm sorry (Mili thank you I love you too <3)

Bro I swear parted panels between Jaime and the Blue Beetle fucking rule like I can fucking see him see everything again, I mean his eyes look like they do, see everything happening over and over.

+ "Dessert air" Yeah, me too Paco, me too ✋😔 (that better be a friendly hug, I don't wanna get paranoid with this but PLEASE)

+ ROAD TRIP!!!! HELL YEAAAH!!! Brenda and Jaime bickering 🫶 (Brenda kick his ass <3)

+ BAHDHSJAJS PEACEMAKER IS ON BABYSITTING DUTY RN 😌

+ Has Peacemaker just called Brenda 'Red' *has Max and Eddie flashbacks* nvm

+ FIRST SHE CALLED HER AUNT HER PARENT I'M CRYING SOMEONE GET ME OUT THE DESSERT ❗❗ ALSO LOOK AT HER SHE'S SO COOL AND SO PRETTY (I'm in love)

+ He's kinda right bug guy... (And lmao not them talking about La Dama being Brenda's aunt literally two steps away from her AVDJWNKDJS)

+ Peacemaker guy is called Dan Garett (someone give context or sum please, where does he come from (comic recs?) I think I'm gonna call him Danny 👍

+ OH MY FUCKING GODS NOT THIS CHEAP POLYPHEMUS GUY AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭 *screams into the void*

+ Bro AGDJSHJAJ Cinetico laughing at Paco for failing Spanish is real life footage of me and my best friend (Also Spanglish is what my class speaks on English time basically so)

+ Man my exact thoughts on everything (also Mili is my lil sis Istg she's the same😭)

+ So Dan is the first Blue Beetle granddaughter or sum like that okay cool(?) (not me fucking thinking it was Peacemaker lmaoo 😭😭😭)

(Brenda I love you but why GAKDBWJS)

+ Mitchell. Mitchell.

+ I'm going to collect silly Brendas on my journey through Blue Beetle issues (I can't put too much pics in just a post so I'll share her once I got a few <3)

+ Dio live reaction:

+ ARMAGGEDON?

+ "My mother didn't raise me like that. It's wrong." Okay. Okay. I'm more of a Red Hood way of thinking instead of Batsy. But I guess Jaime has his point, I respect that and I kinda love that that's his thing, like, I need to be like him and feel all the rage in a different way, to feel kinder ( love you bug guy <3)

+ Lmaooo at least they take care of the town at he end

+ Bugnuts, she said bugnuts— *wheezes*

+ Yeah, I need to hear Peacemaker's story too 👍

[facelessthefreak]

i feel so numb wtf. i was super happy a few houes ago what. did i spend all my emotions for today. huh??

[algumaideia]

Me: So, I need to finish reading Les Mis and Do androids dream of eletric sheep? and Moby Dick and I want to reread I, Claudius and I want to read Frankenstein and the Illiad

I want to explode

[artschoolglasses]

Americans not giving a shit about the wildfires burning down forests and homes in Canada until smoke starts spreading across the border. Meanwhile Indigenous communities across the country are far more likely to be impacted by the fires and I’ve seen all of one link to a charity and about nine million memes. 🙃

[deejadabbles]

Just spent the last forty minutes writing frantically cos of sudden inspiration- only to realize that is doesn't even fit with what I'm currently working on

[magpiedraws]

I have some proper ouaw art in the works but in the meantime have a meme

[retroautomaton]

🍳🐖🌱