#STUMPTOWN

[oscarhmtech]

Cobie Smulders

[littlesolo]

I Miss Stumptown Because Every Exasperated Expression is One You Know Maria Hill Has Perfected...

[ilovemarvelcu3000]

Fuck abc for canceling stumptown and depriving us of more gay cobie smulders

[flipjack]

Sitting Pretty

[remuslupinschocolat3]

Stumptown is so painfully underrated please someone anyone write an angsty/fluffy/smutty Dex Patios fic and put it on ao3 so I don't have to do it myself because the plot twist is I only know how to write angst and I get motivation one in a fortnight so please.. anyone I'm begging.

I'd even read it if it was riddled with grammatical errors and spelling mistakes and in the second person at this point. I'd read anything as long as it doesn't involve marvel characters because while I'm absolutely deranged about marvel I would love to see this show exist in its own space and I'm not motivated enough to build said space 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[oldschoolvillageidiot]

There's a thing going around Twitter asking what canceled show you'd bring back, and it just made me have Stumptown feelings again. This show is like 85% what I'd want from a show based on my Underdogs novels (except she'd be a gay werewolf). It sucks that the pandemic was literally the only reason it was canceled. Cobie Smulders deserved better!

[megamindsecretlair]

Sunday Kind of Love

Pairing: Husband!Grey McConnell x Wife!Black!Fem!reader/plus size reader

Warnings: 18+ only. MINORS DNI. You are in charge of your own reading experience. Soft dom Grey McConnell, Cursing, SMUT, FLUFF, fingering (fem and male receiving), cum play, Sorry if I missed others. No spoilers for the show.

Summary: You wake up early one crisp morning and snuggle into Grey's warmth. He reminds you that there's no pressing issue, nowhere to go, and nothing to do. With nothing to do, you decide to have some fun with your husband.

AO3 Link

Word count: 1,679k

A/N: Idk what it was, I just started feening for some Jake Johnson. I miss the show so damn much. Fully prepared for this to fly under the radar, just needed this out of my head. Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, reblog, or unhinged ask.

You woke up naturally to the soft light filtering in through Grey’s window. You stretched, blinking against the bright light. Grey shifted behind you, his deep voice humming in your ear. He tightened his hold around you, pulling you closer to him like even that bit of space was too much.

You turned in his arms, getting tangled in his red, plaid covers. The man lived in plaid, but that was okay. It suited him. Between the log-like atmosphere of his place above the bar, his mountain man beard, and his kind eyes, he was one ax away from becoming one with nature. 

His sleepy brown eyes crinkled in the corner with his smile. “Good morning,” he said.

“Good morning,” you said, with a bit of surprise in your voice. Both of you had odd jobs that kept odd hours. Even so, you both slept as much as you could as long as you could. Grey being up this early was rare. You squinted at him, trying to ferret out if he was feeling well. If this was, indeed, your husband. 

Grey’s smile deepened as he poked his lips out to kiss you. With a wet smack of your lips, Grey pulled away. His warm, big hands caressed your back. You wished you could feel his calluses on your bare back. As if reading your mind, he moved his hands underneath your shirt and caressed your bare skin. 

You purred at him and snuggled in closer, getting all in his personal space. His beard was soft, covering the entire lower half of his face. His hair was getting long again. “Hey you,” you said. 

“Guess what?” He asked. You sighed. His rough voice in the early morning was sin all by itself. You wished you could bottle it and uncork it whenever you needed a hit. 

“What?” You asked. Your eyes were drooping and you fought to stay awake. To keep looking at him. You never thought you’d still be this gooey over your husband. You thought love settled and grew easier. Right as rain. As dependable as a State Farm Agent. 

You were obsessed with him. You turned into one of those annoying girls who couldn’t go two seconds without them saying they were taken and happy. You weren’t quite that annoying, but nothing could stop you from squealing whenever you thought of him.

“We don’t have anywhere to be for a good while,” he said. 

You leaned back to look into his eyes, momentarily shocked awake. “But don’t we…? Aren’t you…?” You thought over your schedule and what you had planned for today. Your brain was fuzzy from sleep but you were positive that it had to be something. When nothing came to mind, you gasped and turned to Grey who chuckled. 

“We have nothing to do!” He said, starting to laugh. His raspy laugh was contagious, making you giggle and then burst into demented laughter with him. You settled down bit by bit, returning to the quiet bubble you were in before.

“So if we have nothing to do…” you said, snuggling closer and trailing your hand downward. You found the edge of his boxers and slipped your hand inside. His dick twitched in your hand and you smiled, staring into his eyes. 

“Careful,” he said, an edge to his voice that sent a thrill through you. He moved his hand down south, slipping his fingers into your panties. You were both still under the covers, heat trapped inside and making your bodies get warmer faster.

Once his thick fingers found your pussy, he groaned and bit his lip, pulling you closer. He got that look in his eye. That look that told you he was slipping into a headspace you couldn’t cross. That every thought in his head emptied out except his one true mission: to make you feel good.

He brought his hand up to his mouth and sucked his middle finger, then he pushed his hand back down to your pussy. He slipped that wet finger in, making sure you were comfortable while he began to play with you.

You purred some more, opening your legs to give his wrist better access. You pulled your hand out and licked your palm, bringing it back to his dick and stroking. He groaned, eyes closing even more. He almost looked asleep. But that look had you hypnotized. Lost in the depths of his liquid brown eyes. 

It didn’t take you long to get worked up. For your pussy to start throbbing. For you to start whimpering. He knew you liked it precise and deep, way down to the knuckle. 

“Getting nice and wet over here, baby,” he cooed. “I like how your mind skipped way over breakfast together, a quick movie, some coffee and some laughs. You went straight to being naughty.” He dipped his head and began kissing your cheek, your neck. He bit you in certain places, raising delicious goosebumps along your flesh. 

You cried out, stroking him harder. His tip leaked with precum and you swiped your thumb across the tip, getting it wet enough to slide easier. Grey moaned, pushing his hips faster, pushing you to keep up. 

“You bring it out of me,” you said and kissed him. His tongue was warm against yours, sliding with expertise. He was easily the best kisser you’d ever had. He knew just when to tease, when to dive in. When to bite your lip and when to lick away the sting. 

He knew when you were lost in the kiss, more focused on that than anything else. He pulled away with a grin, making you chase after him trying to recapture that magic. That press of his sweet lips that made your toes curl. 

You finally flopped back onto the pillow, sighing. “You’re no fun,” you said. He used his thumb to circle your clit, making you instantly whimper and squeeze your legs.

“Open those fucking legs,” he growled, a deep throaty sound emanating from his chest. The mountain man came out to play. You whimpered, turning pleading eyes to him. 

“Too good,” you moaned.

“I won’t say it twice,” he said.

You bit your lip and whimpered, opening your legs. He leaned forward, pressing his doughy body onto yours, pushing you into the bed. “Fuckin’ love when you listen,” he cooed against your cheek. 

An orgasm was gaining speed, rushing along your skin. Raising the very hairs on your arms. You used your free hand to grip onto his red t-shirt. Pulled him close. Your mouth dropped open, the feeling too intense. Too much. Too much. Your knuckles cramped as you came on his fingers, crying out at the top of the loft. 

“Oh, fuck, Grey, Grey,” you moaned, bucking your hips. Riding his fingers. His middle finger pressed against something inside you that made your eyes roll back into the back of your head. 

Grey continued to fuck you through it, kissing your cheek and whispering in your ear. He lowered his voice, purring in your ear with a deep, rumbling hum. “There’s my girl,” he said. “Soaking my fingers and making sure I have enough to feed you.” 

Your head drooped against his shoulder, buried your nose into his neck and inhaled his scent. You were still working on the best way to describe it. Something clean, something light, something heavenly. It was intoxicating and you buried your nose further, getting overstimulated by the dueling sensations.

You didn’t know whether you wanted to focus on his scent or the fact that he added a second finger inside of you. Your teeth chattered, breath stalled in your chest. “Give me that other one you’re holding onto,” he demanded.

“I’m trying,” you cried.

“Try harder,” he said.

You whined, squeezing his hand between your thighs, trying to stop his questing fingers. But then you remembered that your ass was still a little sore from the spanking he gave you last night. You thought you’d never come harder in your life. 

“Grey, please,” you sniffled.

“Aww,” Grey cooed, kissing the bonnet on your head. “But you’re so fuckin’ sexy when you cum on my fingers.”

Your breathing was harsh, made worse by your face smashed into his shoulder. “Please, Grey,” you begged. You couldn’t give him another one. It was too early. Too soon. You needed to wake up more. Needed some food before you could put it down. 

Grey ignored your pleas and words of mercy. He flipped his wrist and began stroking in a come hither motion. Your hand stopped rubbing his dick as you fell, boneless against him as another orgasm tore through you like a hurricane. 

Grey kissed your bonnet over and over, holding you close as you fell apart. You swore that he was the only one powerful enough to keep you from dissolving into goo. You panted as you recovered from something so incredible. 

“Mhm, my favorite snack in the morning,” he said. “Guess that means breakfast is ready.” He pulled his fingers out of you and then pushed his fingers into your mouth. You moaned, tasting yourself on his thick fingers. 

He pushed in a little too far and you gagged and choked. “Gotta train that throat better,” he muttered. 

He gave you a devious look as he descended down your body, kissing your neck, biting your chest, tugging on your nipple with his teeth before moving your shirt up and kissing your round tummy. 

You moaned, moving your hands into his hair and played with the soft chestnut strands. His hair slipped through your fingers and you marveled at all of the differences between you. “Okay, but just know. Anything you dish out, I give back tenfold,” you said, giggling as he rubbed his beard against your belly. 

He scooted down the bed, completely disappeared under the covers. “Don’t threaten me with a good time,” he said, sounding muffled.. You giggled, reaching down to at least still play with his hair.

You weren’t giggling anymore once his lips wrapped around your clit and he sucked.

There will be more when the mood strikes. The Secret Grey McConnell Files

Taglist: @westside-rot @chaos-4baby @00aijia00 @amethyst09 @ciaqui

@we-outsiiiide @browngirldominion @iv0rysoap @thecookiebratz @harmshake

@judymfmoody @multiversefanfics @tvchi

[loulooser]

Giggling and kicking my feet SORRY

[benjinoff13]

i think about that move cobie pulls here 82 times a day btw

[soft-persephone]

Helpful not so Helpful Guide to Jake Johnson

A master post with links to some movies and information or where to access some of them +more

Disclaimer: if any of these movies are bad or you hate them, that’s on you and not me. I am heavily biased. You have been warned.

SELF RELIANCE

let’s start with the obvious. It’s out now on Hulu! Has been since February maybe idk. I’m unhealthily obsessed and bad with dates.

It’s his directorial debut, but if you didn’t know. Jake started out as a writer before improv and acting. He’s the writer, director, and star of this one. It’s very special and his baby!

It’s a wild roller coaster ride of emotions and genre. If you smoke, smoke, if you drink, drink, if you are sober, it’s still a roller coaster ride. Don’t worry, there is a lot there for you too!

But if you like enhancements, I hear it’s extra fun.

I liked it a lot, it’s whacky, creepy at times, but undeniably fun. And that’s all I will say.

Warning! Don’t watch press or any interviews for the movie until after you’ve seen the movie.

Ride the Eagle

is also on Hulu

It’s a movie he wrote during the pandemic and directed with Trent O’Donnell who directed many episodes of new girl.

It’s very heartfelt and about Grief.

Jake Johnson’s dog also makes guest appearance with their acting debut and they are the sweetest and most bestest acting dog ever.

WE’RE HERE TO HELP

his podcast!

It’s very fun and with one of his buddies Gareth Reynolds.

People call in and they give them advice that is as funny and crazy as the callers.

Something’s Burning

Here’s a link to a interview on the premise of the show, but also they talk to this guy. idk. He may be a bit much, but he makes Jake laugh and I love listening to him laugh, so it’s fun for that reason too.

Or you are a Burt fan.

🏴‍☠️Pirate ship access only 🏴‍☠️

Link to the ship

The Pretty One -

one of my favorites. It’s an oddball indie about twins where one dies and the one alive assumes the identity of the one who died where she stumbles upon her sister neighbor played by Jake Johnson. He’s dressed like a sexy Mr. Rogers if you ask me, and he is delightfully sardonic and childish. However, he dresses better than Nick Miller ever could

Win it All

It used to be on Netflix, but it’s been taken down recently. That’s my bad because I could have made this sooner, but I just haven’t for no reason.

Jake plays a character with a gambling addiction and an anxiety inducing as the first part may be, it’s not that bad. When I first saw it I had to turn it off because I just got too anxious over what might happen next, but you might not have a weak stomach like me, so you might be fine.

On the second time around, I made it to the part where he meets this girl and everything quickly became heartwarming and endearing and it makes you just root for the main character.

A love letter for those in our lives who may not be fortunate to put themselves together as well as we might.

TAG

It’s also available the link above, but it could be streaming for free somewhere. Idk.

this movie is very self-explanatory by the name. It’s very fun, Jeremy Reiner is in it, so that’s either good news or bad news for you. But it’s still fun.

Jake looks very good in this one. He still has his Tom cruise work out body.

I am very embarrassed to say I can tell what year every movie has come out based on his body shape which is lovely at every size, but the accuracy is quite scary. Which is information I didn’t need to share at all

Stumptown

I used to keep that thang on me.

And by thang on me, I mean a pirate ship link to see this show. But they are for some reason gone. I’ve searched high and low for ones to access on maybe a phone? But unless you have a fire stick that has some certain pirate ship accessories on there, I don’t know where you can watch it.

But it’s such an amazing serialized show about this woman who comes back home from Iraq with ptsd, the love of her life died over there and his family blames her for it and she also blames herself for it.

She becomes a private investigator and her best friend is Gray McConnell played by Jake Johnson who, surprise suprise, owns a bar.

Imagine a cooler, sexier, smarter, and more put together Nick Miller. He is just as funny and sarcastic, but not a manchild.

But the show has amazing bisexual representation, mental health representation of ptsd, complex female characters, and it’s so well paced and written and every way.

If you love cop shows like criminal minds or fbi or any of those, imagine something like that but about a private investigator, and more emphasis on the plot and characters and their relationships. The “cop” part is just more fun on this show than others, but I am biased because I hate cop shows.

I wish I had a link to give y’all for it because it’s so easily to obsess over.

However, it’s also been canceled because of “COVID” but if you look into it. That’s a bullshit reason, and it’s been canceled for no reason, but at that point Jake Johnson was doing spiderverse and Colbie Smolders was doing other stuff. (She plays the main female character)

MINX

Show set in the 70s about a woman starting the first male nude magazine to persue her dream of making a feminist one.

It’s smart, the writing is amazing, and I can not recommend it enough. There’s a lot of nudity, but it’s not what you think at all.

You truly have to watch it for yourself to understand what the show is trying to do, and it’s amazing.

I’ve never seen anything like it and it’s such a breath of fresh air in a time of remakes and endless sequels.

It used to be on HBO but now it’s on Starz!

Here’s a link to see it. Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone

But for some reason it only has season two which sucks so hard and I am so sorry I couldn’t provide more.

Drinking Buddies

- it used to be available on YouTube but now it’s not free anymore or the person who posted has since deleted it been removed. But the pirate ship one will have it for sure.

Have you ever met someone and you never dated them, never had a something more conversation but the chemistry is there.

You were super close to them, but no one has ever questioned it or said anything about it, but when you are with them you know it’s there? But that’s all it ever has been and will be, and maybe you aren’t even in each others lives anymore but you still think of them from time to time because they were a major part of you being who you are?

Yes? Well boy do I have a movie for you!

No? Well that’s what this movie is, but it adds more because it’s a movie and it needed to be at least an hour and a half.

But now that you know what it’s about, be warned that it’s slower in pace. It’s an indie movie.

I will have more to say about that later.

But overall it’s a good movie with a good feeling.

If you’ve ever had a will they won’t they in a real life way and not the Hollywood way, this movie might trigger those feelings.

Digging for Fire

- it used to be available on YouTube but now it’s not free anymore or the person who posted has since deleted it been removed. But the pirate ship one will have it for sure.

A cute heartwarming thriller.

Those genres don’t seem like they could all blend together, but that’s what this movie does.

A family rents out a house in LA and the husband, played by Mr Jake Johnson, finds a gun and a bone, and they call the police and they say we’re not responsible for random trash. Call us if you find a body.

This is a real story that happened to Jake Johnson and his family.

He called up his friend Joe Swamburg who is a director, and they make this movie together.

He’s also the director of drinking buddies and Win it All.

It’s not only about that, again, because it needs to be over an hour. So it’s also about marriage. Not say anything else because you need something to keep you wanting to see this one, but I will say, it’s not a pretentious or dark or super try hard movie about marriage that will depress you.

It’s open and honest and ultimately sweet.

Imagine if scenes from a marriage wasn’t a drag or if a marriage story was positive instead of weird.

Idk I never actually watched a marriage story. It might not even be called that at all and you may be confused so… moving on.

No Activity

A show he was in for three episodes but it has a hilarious premise and if you are a fan of comedy, you might enjoy it having Will Farrell, Jason Mantzoukas and so much more.

Here a clip

Apparently there a ten photo limit.. so no picture

I use to have a link to it, but it’s also been erased from everywhere, unless you have access to other pirate ships.

:(

Interviews

Link

Here is a playlist of amazing interviews that give you a head start on getting to know him. They aren’t in any important order, and they also have a few about each movie and show he’s in as well.

Also if you need accessing a vpn please reach out. I know a good free vpn app for iOS.

PART TWO!!!!

[oscarhmtech]

Cobie Smulders

[amandasmoviess]

Ok last one of this bc omg this episode did stuff to me.

[ilovemarvelcu3000]

Going on a 6hr road trip need good wlw cobie smulders fics

[heldisrps]

by clicking the source link below you’ll be redirected to #40 gifs of troian bellisario in stumptown [1.14]. all of the gifs were made by me from scratch, so please do not redistribute or claim them as your own, and do not edit in any way without my permission. please reblog post if you found these useful. tw: kissing, crying

[flipjack]

More of Cobie at TIFF

[oldschoolvillageidiot]

A couple of people have reblogged my Stumptown gifs lately, so if anyone is wondering, yes I'm still mad that the first show to use Cobie Smulders properly got killed by covid. Soft reboot. Get back who you can, do a revival, bring her back!