#Samsung makes too damn many phones

[murumokirby360]

My Family's 2010s Digital Camera (Canon EOS 1000D/Rebel XS) [feat. my Paper Dolls]

DeviantART version → [CLICK ME!]

Hello, May! 🌏☀️ Unfortunately, I cannot continue my upcoming and latest "PC Upgrade Project". The good news was, that I've already worked on it, but I need to adjust the size for the comparison, as well as splitting it into two videos instead of one to reduce memory size, and even timing the subtitles (which is important for the latter). So, my plan was to be submitted by July of 2024. On the bright side, I have another item review that has yet to be revealed, this June. 🙂 Nonetheless, onto my month's share. 😊

BREAKING NEWS: Just recently, yesterday [on May 30th, 2024] my current Power Supply Unit blew up, making my custom PC desktop useless without any power source! 💥😨 As of today, We send it to the "Computer Repair Shop" for a replacement. 🖥️🔧😓 Ouch! Luckily, it was fixed the next day, as in TODAY! And I cost a lot from my earning funds. Double ouch! 💵🤕 So, that topic deserves another month, I suppose...

Now, onto my topic...

• So, another camera from my parent's shelves, and it's the latest abandoned camera, as of 2024. The "Canon EOS 1000D" 😊📸, also known as the "EOS Rebel XS" is a DSLR camera that debuted in June 2008. This old professional camera possessed a 10.1-megapixel camera, a detachable lens like other DSLR cams do, and a whole bunch of features that only professional DSLR cam photographers could understand. Also, unlike the Sony Cybershot's exclusive "Sony" Memory Stick for photo storage, Canon uses the universal SD Card to store photos, on any memory brand used such as Sandisk, Transcend, Lexar, etc... For megapixels comparison, the 90s Olympus Camedia C-2000 Z has "2.1", the previous topic of Sony DSC-T70 has "8.1", and what about the "Focus-35"? Well, let's say it's not as level as the 90s Olympus camera that we've owned. 🤔🤷‍♀️

• So, do you have a story about this camera? Well, there's one I remembered, and it's based on the true story. ☝😊📖 I was 18 years old (late adolescence, may I add) while I was in High School in the year 2011 (3rd year High School). I went to a local 7-Eleven store when I saw a raffle promo poster. For the prize? A bunch of awesome stuff, including the Canon camera itself (the EOS Rebel XS). And since I'm 18, I'm qualified the participate by buying consumed-related stuff from the aforementioned convenience store daily. After the promo ended and my 3rd year of High School ended, a rider came to our house to receive a letter from 7-Eleven, only to find out that my father was the winner of the promo instead of me, and I was shocked. 😲 Damn... That winning camera should've been ME, and I used this cool camera to pursue my future career as a professional photographer; which sadly, did not happen. 😥 Regardless, in the end, I'm happy that my father won the prize, so I have to congratulate him. 👏😊 And the rest was history, we have SO MANY photo moments that we've shared on our main social media(s), unlike our previous digicams. We've been using it for a few years, until 2018(?) (as far as I know). When the camera itself started to get old, bugs were unbeknownst inside the lens (seriously, where did that come from? 🐜), and the built-in flash was unable to work properly. Making use of itself. Also, the repair cost for our camera was expensive, so we can't afford it. 💵😬 Yup, another camera bites the dust (I guess). 😥 And so, we've decided to switch to smartphone cameras over our bulky DSLR camera. 📱➡📷 After all, the cams from smartphones we're superior to those before depending on what brand we've used. Plus, it is ultra-portable, too.

• For ME, however, I would love to use the traditional digicams (big or small) over smartphones because it had a superior quality image over modern phones. 📷➡📱 Yeah, Apple and Samsung had overtaken, but true camera brands like Canon, Nikon, and Fujifilm (the trio of Japanese camera brands 🇯🇵📷. Don't forget Sony, by the way.) are already stronger than before; innovate after innovate for the professional photographers and content vloggers. The big boy cameras never gets old, and they're still producing them, to this very day. 📸🎥😁 However, with the rise of "Action Cameras" (not to mention Flying Camera Drones") will soon be surpassed, in the digital image industry. So, I'm not sure who'll die first. We may never know...🤔

• On the plus side, my paper dolls appreciate my story. So, here's my final moment before I put this cool memorable DSLR Camera on the wardrobe. 😊📷📸

Well, that's all for now! And do you have any good "item" memories from the 2000s to 2010s, like mine? Type it down in the reply section! 😊

If you haven't seen my related camera throwbacks, and my previous topic, then I'll provide some links down below. ↓ 😉

• My Family's 2000s Digital Camera (Sony Cybershot DSC-T70) [Apr 30th, 2024]

• Another 90s Camera: Olympus Camedia C-2000 Z [Jan 29th, 2024]

• My Family’s Old Film Camera (from the 90s) [Aug 29th, 2023]

Previous:

• My BRAND NEW SMARTPHONE BY Tecno Mobile [Mar 30th, 2024]

Tagged: @lordromulus90, @bryan360, @shadowredfeline, @leapant, @alexander1301, @coda-archive, @rafacaz4lisam2k4

[diaboliklove]

headcanons for yui & the sakamakis w/ their phones

yeah hi LMAO this came to be from a random conversation w my friend and it led to many thoughts and opinions ,, for context think this is current time, 2024. ive never written headcanons out but it was a lot of fun to sit down and really think <3 hope u like it !

this got so long but for super fun epic reasons

SHUU SAKAMAKI

- starting off strong !

- and by strong i mean he has a flip phone

- never charged

- well, by that i mean its either at 100% because he forgot it charging for a week or at 10% because he hasn’t charged it in a week

- will never answer your texts or calls

- would never even read your messages in the first place

- because one. do you know how much energy it takes for him to even find the damn thing

- two, why are you reaching out to him in the first place? he knows you probably need him to do something.

- and doing things is not something he does

- out of sight out of mind yk

- as time goes on and he tolerates you he may send you a text

- nothing cute though

- not even a full sentence

- just a statement you need to connect the dots for

- the thought of having a smart phone was appealing to him for the music services though

- but god forbid he has to muster the energy to search for the app, download it, make an email, register, find the right versions of songs he likes, make a playlist and - anddd he's already sleeping

- yeah he won't change a thing his little frankenstein neck gear is just fine for him

- thank god he didn't go through with it because if he discovered that ads played after two songs it would've been his 13th reason why

- that email he made btw

- hell

- FULL of spam due to him just clicking things to get through sign ups easier

- hacked within a business day with the password 112345

- added two 1s to throw them off

- he really thought he was doing something with that

- so fuck ads

- and mostly fuck reiji for not wanting to pay for a premium music subscription

REIJI SAKAMAKI

- aww what a cute silly little guy

- im sorry. but theres no way this man is well versed in technology

- definitely more than shuu though

- owns a samsung galaxy note for the stylus feature

- imagine telling this scary vampire that the house is out of milk and as he whips out his phone like a note pad while muttering how the cereal consumption in the house is getting out of hand

- major dad energy while he writes on it

- appropriate distance away from the screen

- looks down on his phone like its a lesser being

- never needs to google anything, thats for humans

- basically only used to contact someone if absolutely necessary and a note device

- a strong believer that phone use 30 minutes before bed leads to bad sleep

- this man already has nightmares he's not going to add to his troubles

- in the 24 hours drama cd reiji says he never grocery shops himself since he doesn't want to be with all the "gross" humans and contacts suppliers to provide the ingredients

- well erm : those suppliers scammed him

- after the scam first of all

- suppliers never heard from again

- secondly, reiji finds out about instacart

- he loves it

- in fact adores it

- you're telling him he can just order everything online? see all the products and cost right there??? and most importantly, can tell the shopper they're fucking up in real time?

- ohhhh yeah

- ladies and gentlemen meet our very own residential karen

- will ask for photos on all produce he orders

- those bananas? too ripe. replace them. those apples look bruised. cilantro leaves look brown. that doesn't look like a pound of grapes, try again. oh! oh! you're trying to give him choice grade steak instead of prime?? watch your back you fucking scammer —

- fool him once shame on him, fool him twice you can kiss your job goodbye

- theres literally a facebook mental health support group for instacart shoppers that have worked with him

- he's like an urban legend

- what a loser affectionately

- you did try convincing him to switch to iphone so you could play chess on the go together with game pigeon

- flat out no get fucked

- but started considering it when he saw you playing 8 ball against ayato

- not because he's jealous or anything

- anything but that

- like seriously, not jealous

- just wants to put you in your place for even thinking you’d be competition thats all

- i would show you texts with him but he’s more of a phone call type of guy

- you better answer on the first ring

- the only reason he should be sent to voicemail is if you’re dead

- i love him

AYATO SAKAMAKI

- the man, the myth, the legend

- uses a iphone 12

- the red one

- because his epic device must match the epic ayato-samas epic hair!

- probably understands technology the second best in the household

- don't tell him that though

- and by understand i mean this man has an instagram and tiktok

- fairly popular on the platforms too

- think like, 900+ followers on ig and 17k on tiktok

- would be more popular if he wasn't such a weirdo with what he posts

- terrible thirst trap king

- most of his videos on tiktok are him in the gym sweating and flexing or just a video of travis scott in the background and him posing

- captions definitely like "yeah bros !! 🔥🔥🔥 hit new rep 😎 at the gym 💪🔥 feeling unstoppable ‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥 ring the hunk alarm 🚨 🚨🔥‼️ #gym #gymbro #thatguy #viral #ayato"

- hashtags himself because he's a big deal

- no one knows if he just knows his angles or if he's just so attractive everything looks good

- his home screen is a photo of him

- and also his lock screen

- will ask you to hold his phone while he smolders into the camera for a tiktok

- do not fucking laugh your life is on the line

- ig feed consists of him, himself, and more him

- a ab photo there, selfie here, a picture of his jawline over there maybe a guest star appearance of him eating takoyaki in the corner over there

- nothing else

- no one is complaining

- girls AND boys at ryoutei send his posts to each other like its a new episode of their favorite show

- they collect his photos like kpop photo cards

- he is him

- follows his brother, a couple of big boobed models and basketball players

- as for other devices he definitely has a pair of airpods he lost over five years ago

- one day he'll find them

- as i mentioned in reijis, he likes playing game pigeon

- plays with you and laito

- used to play with subaru but that hasn't been mentioned since the battleship war of 2017

- ayato annihilated him, got every ship within 3 turns

- so subaru decided to annihilate the whole house

- took two business days for reiji to calm him down

- the left wing of the house still has inaccessible rooms

- anyways subaru blocked ayato

- and subaru still doesn't know that ayato had just seen where he placed his ships down

- to end this here’s live footage of yours trulys epic cup pong battle against you !

- nothing is more endearing than how he just does things that every other highschooler does

- just a normal guy

- i love him too

LAITO SAKAMAKI

- ladies and gentlemen behold the best technology user in the house

- owns a iphone as well

- iphone 12 the green one to be exact

- had that gucci snake case everyone had in 2018

- the off brand one too

- i will never not make fun of this mans taste of style

- also has a dell computer to watch movies and other questionable material with his cute little bitch-chans in bed nfu~

- his contacts are FULLLL

- to the point when he meets a new bitch he needs to quickly decide if he wants to delete samantha #4 or #2

- undefeated in 8 ball

- doesn't use a ruler or anything, just feels it within him

- he is the ball

- uses snapchat, insta and tiktok

- also tinder

- and bumble

- but whos counting

- im begging someone to teach these boys how to write a bio

- just picture you minding your business on a friday night and swiping left till you're met with a photo of a red head that's actually pretty attractive

- and then you see the about me and its :

- "your dimpled skin... as my breath sweeps across your lovely ears pulling you to my... back... as your skin is immediately chilled and excited... rising as it tingles... take a deep breath inhaling your sweet scent.... it brings a low moan of delight to my hungry mouth..... I licked my lips as I savored your scent.. another deep draw and my mouth is watering... I can't wait to have you ...my tongue enjoying you... why don't you send a message ;)"

- mf this is a chilis

- this is where i would like to take a moment to just look all his victims lovers in the eye because why does this work

- posts on his snapchat story often

- ranges from a video of him taking shots at a party to just a photo of his school desk

• taken artfully

- more popular than ayato on instagram while ayato is more popular on tiktok

- 4.3k followers on instagram, 2k on tiktok

- has yet to really do anything on tiktok

- got his followers from some videos he shot with ayato

- doesn't consider it important to be popular with some randos on the internet, he wants to attract those near him

- so, instagram is his hunting grounds

- more popular on ig due to the way he brands himself

- almost everyone from ryoutei highschool follows him

- if you don't you're either the "kya! what if he looks at my account?" or you are just pure of the knowledge of his existence

- his feed is really aesthetically appealing

- almost like he posts with intent on everything

- almost thought right?

- feed includes blurry pictures at parties, a shot of a wine glass at an expensive restaurant, him with his current girlfriend, a lively photo of him and ayato

- a lot of people take inspiration from his posts

- you look and you’re not sure if you want to be him or with him

- the regina george of ryoutei

- you know now that i think of it maybe the sockless loafers was his cut out boob top moment

- he's just making a statement

- but regardless his feed feels weirdly empty

- Idolized yes

- but it just feels so off sometimes

- like soulless

- follows basically only girls, heart reacts every girl that posts a selfie on their stories

- not afraid to comment a 😍

- especially not afraid to comment a 😍😍🤤🤤🤗🤗🤤😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤🙏😋😋😋😈🔥🔥🔥🔥🫦🫦🫦😍

- his captions are really well thought out though

- just a pleasing "4:37AM" or just a tag of whos in the photo

- will often come to you and ask if you'd like to "be her" about his photos with a girl and if you'd take even more risque photos together >;)

- video tapes him sucking your blood or doing other things to you

- randomly in a conversation he'll play the audio of the video just so you'll be flustered by your own noises

- will threaten to post it even if you didn't do anything wrong

- he just thinks its funny

- he would actually do it though.

- so idk pose at all times ok

- you know laito does cross word puzzles

- sure yeah he likes a nice sudoku

- but he also had a quiet obsession with geometry dash

- and i mean quiet, no one knows about this

- not even the ghosts that haunt him at night

- laito finds rhythm games in general somewhat comforting

- his mind is only focused on the beat and he's always had a good sense of rhythm so it's perfect for him

- more importantly: its a distraction from everything he is. the thoughts that he doesn't deserve such comfort leave him as soon as he fails once. the quick restart helps shut off his brain and leaves him feeling like a shell.

- a shell of what once was.

KANATO SAKAMAKI

- oh hello my dear pookie wookie dookie bookie cookie !!!

- literally the reason im making this

- owns a samsung flip !!!

- decorated excessively

- super cute phone

- mf better keep it close to his person the coquette girlies are eyeing you down

- he originally had an iphone X like his brothers but he saw one video of someone decorating a flip and decided he must have it

- in fact, he needed it

- so he threw his phone at you and screamed bloody murder when it broke

- you wanna guess who took the blame

- siituation ended with you limping out the dungeon and kanato gleaming at his new phone

- but he doesn't even use it that much

- yeah he's a bitch

- doesn't post on any social medias

- only thing he uses social media for is to see what pastry shop is trending currently on instagram, a stitching method tutorial on youtube, and to check on those cute school girls on tiktoks from the next city, oh he could just eat them up alive -

- what he does use his phone for though is are those freakishly cute games we all got addicted to once

- think like neko atsume, bunnybuns, cat condo

- spends his left over change from the bakery on new furniture for his cats on neko atsume

- has rage quitted from not getting a rare cat after two hours

- does gets giddy when he sees a rare one when he logs on

- and by giddy i mean if you hear a sinster hehehe come from his room just know it's probably not because he's doing something devious

- probably

- renames every cat that comes into his house

- you saw him playing once and pointed out that the cat laying in the kotatsu was ginger in hopes to bond over the same interest

- glared daggers into you and said extremely seriously :

"you mean sponge cake?"

- you will not bond over it

- abort mission

- just let the little guy have his own fun

- had a phase of playing the mobile crane machine games for plushies

- but he lost so many times he now rages whenever he sees a rilakkuma napping plush

- but overall he doesn't really care for his phone

- definitely more interested in his more real life cute hobbies like sewing and demon summoning 🎀

SUBARU SAKAMAKI

- oh the most evil one of all!

- the man so scary, so feared

- his phone story is a bit different than the others

- originally had a iphone 8

- but my little fellow is a walking rage room so damage was sure to happen

- screen was cracked and barely functional

- couldn't even touch the letters "e", "a" , "s" and "o"

- texting him was a game of morse code

"did you want to walk in the garden after dinner?"

"hh yur tht dprt for my attntin arnt yu? myb ill tk yu up n tht”

".. okay so yes?"

“y”

- but whatever it was always easy to find him so it wasn't a big deal

- until d day

- the battleship war of 2017.

- you haven't seen subaru this mad since the nair incident of 2016

- you tried helping reiji calm him down

- even offered to buy him a hot topic gift card which he did not want at all

- oh this was that serious

- you knew he was genuinely upset and that this shouldn't be funny

- but quite hard to not think so when you realize he's just a teenager having gamer rage

- his phone was completely obliterated by the end of his episode

- like

- it disappeared

- crumbs on the floor surely

- so reiji had a solution

- and it was the most atrocious thing subaru had ever laid his eyes upon

- behold !

- the mighty rage proof phone !

- and subaru was just

- silent

- in awe of what was in his hands

- ok now you knew if you laughed it meant death

- so you took pity

- spent all night telling him that maybe orange IS the new black

- and after he started finally feeling good about it

- the walking red haired menace runs into you two on the way to the limo

- and his eyes just lock on to the orange brick in subarus hands

• and he just cackles

- ayato doesn't even get a second to catch his breath before subaru is banging his head repeatedly with the damn brick

- needless to say

- theres only one thing broken between ayatos nose and subarus phone and it wasn't the phone

- reiji leaves a 5 star review that night

- damn, even subaru is impressed

- not one scratch on his screen

- so subaru keeps it and spray paints it black

- he doesn't use social media

- doesn't care for any of that shit

- too emo to be influenced by an influencer 💪🫦

- the only people in his contacts is you, reiji, shuu and in the future, kou

- no apps either besides a music streaming service

- even if it has ads

- don’t even think about ever asking to play a game

YUI KOMORI

- my baby !!!

- as we know her phone was once obliterated by the emo pomeranian

- soon gets a new a one just the boys can get her when they need her

- also got a samsung flip !

- decorated super cute, but nothing too showy

- heavily child proofed at first

- like the type you only can call your contacts on

- after establishing that, yeah she’s not gonna try to call the ops shes allowed to get some apps

- needs reiji to put a password in to allow it though

- wasn’t even given the wifi password till month two

- doesn’t use social media

- the possessive freaks don’t want her to get toooo popular

- the only app she really uses is pou and takes care of him like her own son

- definitely texts all the boys when she’s out if they need anything

- in fact, would even send “just checking in ! (＠＾◡＾)” messages if she hadn’t seen them in two days

- they all secretly love it

- texts ayato most frequently, subaru and reiji second most

- ayato sends her tiktok memes and yui genuinely doesn’t understand them

- he thinks its funny and cute as hell how hard she tries to piece modern day humor together

- was quietly bummed out she couldn’t play game pigeon games with everyone

- ayato asked her to play among us with him and she was ecstatic

- that feeling soon went away after ayato would get her voted out every round

- you gifted her a matching phone charm a year ago and she has never taken it off since

- often considers googling her fathers name even though she knows reiji can see her search history

- she just wants to make sure he’s okay

- sometimes imagines her phone ringing and her dads name comes up on the caller id

- often she wonders

“has he ever tried to call me? maybe he did on my last phone, and just figured i was unavailable. im available now though dad. please try again soon. i have so much to tell you! sorry i didn’t answer. i miss you.”

[deivorous]

@badheart

Surely not the rarest event, considering how tough and time consuming one's job could be here, but it was still something else to witness it. Though it would be not the first time, that he saw someone die, though this here was still different, considering it had been the person's own choice to jump. Whenever he had read about such cases, when he skipped through the news again, it always made him wonder about himself, questioning his situation and choices, but overall he was very glad to be alive, even if it was not easy at times. Ginjo was pulled out of his thoughts, when he felt his hand being grabbed by someone in the middle of the crowd they stood in. If he had not been so shocked, honestly more at that than some stranger's death, he would have pulled his hand away, but instead he was surprised at the sight of some blue-haired punk holding his hand. Not so tough after all, eh? Lucky for him, that the people in front of them covered the worst sight. Anyway, this was still weird, and after a second or two, he finally freed his hand. "Everything alright?" Though, he really did not want to play the therapist for another stranger now, he got his own issues but then again, he always searched for distraction for them. So someone else's misery could be almost welcoming. Perhaps he was a little bit heartless, but the deaths of total strangers rarely concerned anyone in the long run. On the next day, other news would make you question the meaning of life.

Grimmjow and Death are part time lovers in a complicated situationship that mostly involves Grimmjow rattling on its doors at odd hours of the night with a firearm in one hand, a bottle of booze in the other, and blood smeared into his skin.

Take me back! You bitch! I brought you a fuckin' present, the least you can do is open the damn door!

He's killed more people than he remembers, sometimes cuz he wants to, sometimes cuz someone else wants him to. Point and shoot - he goes where he's told and kills when he's told. It's never bothered him before. His line of work comes with heavily diluted morals and lives cheaper than the gunpowder he buys. Death is a natural process.

'I'm gonna jump!' The man roars. A salary man. With his little briefcase and matching slacks and jacket, his colorful tie to give him a 'pop of personality'. Cosplaying relevance. Grimmjow bets he has a little fancy Samsung phone that he takes fake important meetings on, and that every email is a priority, and that he gets mad when the line at his coffee shop is too long.

'Do a triple axle!' Grimmjow doesn't say back, because he's still laughing at just how ridiculous the whole thing is. No one cares. If that was Salary's cry for help, he won't get it. Why is it Grimmjow's problem if he jumps?

But then he looks up and his heart beats faster. Not a cry for help, he realizes as Salary takes a swan dive, but a call for attention. The request for an audience before his street performance and oh.

Death's never bothered him before. No, quite the contrary - it's the only time he feels alive.

His heart beats faster, eyes wide, hand reaches out to ground himself on someone nearby (instinct, he's not thinking about it). When Salary jumps, Grimmjow's stomach jumps with him, up into his throat and then swoops like a rollercoaster - down, down, down down down ---

Salary's briefcase wasn't tightly secured, and it explodes with lose paper when his body collides with the car-roof crash mat. Confetti to signify the end of the performance. Huh. Anticlimactic. Grimmjow was expecting more of a crunch - or better, that he didn't die on impact. More screaming is always more interesting.

His hand is shaken free, "Everything alright?" Said by someone that doesn't actually care.

Grimmjow replays him in kind, with a laugh. "HA! Hahahaha, fuck me - what a goddamn attention whore! I need to get a better look, how many bones do you think he broke? It wasn't even that high, pussy. What a fuckin' joke!"

[jadeee]

Nicky Valentino Reverse AU

def one of my favorites 💫 enjoy

His head would prob explode within the first 10 mins of being in our timeline. The technology alone would make his head spin.

Speaking of technology, you’d have to give him a crash course every day of the week. I like to think he’s a fast learner but when it’s come to tech, there's just sm stuff: youtube, google, instagram, podcasts, audiobooks, netflix.

Nicky leans over your shoulder and glances at your screen.

“Oh is that chapcat? Or tweeter??”

You turned around and scrunched your brows at him.

“Is it the goo- what was it called? Gootube?”

Eventually, he gets a phone but he doesn’t know how to work the damn thing. You're the only contact he has atm. Tbh he prob takes a selfie with you as soon as he gets it. Well.. after you teach him what a selfie is. He’d only take selfies for you but most of his camera roll would be things he saw when he was out and made him think of you.

You told him about texting before but, one step at a time lol. He’d prob develop the habit of calling instead of texting you bc it’s a lot easier and omg he loves facetime. Always greets you with some romantic Italian before saying anything else and always compliments you.

Sometimes he won't say anything but he'll just look at you and admire your beauty. Say it’s golden hour and you’re walking to your car and the sunlight is shining on you. He'll just stare at his phone like 🥰🥺 "ti amo, amore mio"

Phone case would prob be clear or black tbh, iPhone all day long {sorry samsung and android} and it’d be that gold color.. I just know it. Lock screen would be a picture of you two and his home screen would be an off guard picture he took of you.

He’d def need a pair of blue light glasses bc his eyes aren’t used to sm screen exposure. If you have a thing for ppl who wears glasses, he’d wear em all the time lmbo. All jokes aside, I think he would have a routine where he only sets aside x amount of hrs for screen time so he doesn’t strain his eyes too much. He might try to put you on it too.

Omg he’s so old fashioned he’d have a picture of you in his wallet. Which leads me to his ID ahahaha - the day you take him to get his ID is unforgettable. He prob woke up hella early, made breakfast, and spent an hr on his hair and outfit.

Idk the technicalities behind how that would work logistically. Granted we’d have access to his birth certificate and all that but ppl would just look at him like “... when did you say you were born again?! 😳🤨” then ask what cream he uses lmbo.

Teaching him to drive HAHAHA do I really need to go into this? He’d be so nervous at first. I can imagine you two sitting in an empty parking lot and he’s just in the driver’s seat like “uhh… why are there so many buttons?”

He wouldn’t listen to the radio at first. He literally just needs to learn the bare minimum. No need to teach him the horn. He’s from New York, they know how to work those.

Wherever he goes ppl are just drawn to him. So he’ll often make friends without trying bc he has that magnetic pull. Ofc he’ll get the occasional, random “you’re so attractive” compliments but if they flirt a bit too much he’ll automatically go into “i’m taken” mode.

He’d def join a social club whether it’s for jazz lovers, old souls, or pre-boomers {is that a thing?} he’d be a part of it and never miss a meeting. This really helps him to connect with his life from the 1920s, especially with Rocky and Chris in a way.

The world is huge and he’d def meet a few ppl who remind him of his family and friends. When that happens, he’s just so captivated and almost stunned. He’ll ask them a few questions only they would know but when the doppelgangers can’t give a straight answer, he’s sort of saddened. He’d make it a point to tell them they remind him of someone back home though.

I know for a fact if he found someone from Italy - or with Italian roots - in your neighborhood, he’d freak out! If they spoke Italian?!?! He’s got a friend for life now and he prob feels so at home around them {depending on where they’re from and all that, i’m guessing}

Side note, Nicky would roast tf out of restaurants that call themselves Italian but don’t serve genuine Italian food. Speaking of food, he’d prob cook all the time for the two of you. Omg if he had a lil cookbook 😭💖💕

I really feel like he’d be best friends with an old Italian lady. I know this in my soul and you cannot tell me diff. She would remind him of his mother and that’s why he’s so drawn to her. Especially considering the only thing missing that would make his life perfect is having his family with him alongside yours. He’d invite her over for dinner and she’d def bring food for you two.

She wants to hear every detail about how ya’ll meet and she gushes over the two of you once she sees you side by side. She’ll put her hand over her heart and swoon. Her name’s either Carlotta, Giana, or Florentina.

Shopping with this guy?!?!?!?!! Ugh, sm fun. He’ll prob be really frustrated since fashion is diff now from the 1920s but still you would have sm fun. I can tell you rn though, he doesn’t like skinny jeans.

“Toots,” he struggled to pull the fabric up past his knees.

“How the hell do you wear these things?” He grunted in between his words.

Before you could respond, the door to his fitting room flung open.

He looked at you disapprovingly.

You tried to keep a straight face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t move.”

You let out a laugh and Nicky smirked.

“I’m serious! How am I supposed to walk in these?!?!”

“I think you look good!” You tried to affirm him.

He waved his hand at the air as you continued to laugh.

“You’re just trynna get on my good side.”

He gave you a smile before shutting the door.

After a moment, he opened it and peeped his head out.

“Uh.. amore?”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t get ‘em off.”

His cheeks turned pink as you stood up and walked towards him.

His style is v professional/light academia. He’ll prob try and find suits closest to his, like the blue and brown one for instance. Besides, I know he has his favorite outfits from the 1920s and he’d prob try to mimic them as much as possible.

Doesn’t own the first pair of shorts or any jeans at all. He hates the fabric of jeans bc they’re so dense and heavy, unlike his slacks. Shorts? Why would he wanna show his legs if he’s not at the beach/pool or playing find the cannoli? The only modern, laidback things you’ll really see him in are sweatpants {yes, the gray ones 👀}

He would be an absolute music and film lover 100%. If you don’t have one already, he’d get a record player and find some vinyls of his favorite singers from back then. Whenever you two have downtime, he’ll put on the records. He has music on his phone too but “it’s not the same” lol.

We already know he loves movies and he’d be fascinated by some of the modern ones. I think streaming platforms, like Netflix, would be like a goldmine for him bc they have such a huge collection of diff genres. This might be selfish of me but I’d make him watch at least one Robert DeNiro film… just one {but then there’s Martin Scorsese, Joe Pesci, and Al Pacino 🤷🏾‍♀️ one of each ig}

It’s not gonna be a walk in the park but you’re by his side and that’s the most beautiful walk he could ever take. He’ll ease into modern living but he’d def bring some 1920s style with him. I think your home would be a happy one that manages to blend the beauties of both.

He would def go down the rabbit hole searching for documents about everyone back home: Rocky, Chris, Floyd, Ralph. He would look for smthn on everyone. I think most of all he just wants to know what their life was like. If Chris ever got married and if Rocky ever stayed married lmbo.

He’d want to know how it ended too but he’d save that for last. He’d really want you by his side, even if he doesn’t say it. If he came across pictures, he’d pick his favorite ones and put them in his wallet and maybe frame a few.

⭐ BONUS: Right… money. I feel like his crew would save it for him bc he didn’t leave without saying goodbye. However, money from back then isn’t worth equal value now. So I think he would consider investing it in the stock market. Emphasis on 'consider' bc it’s like a rollercoaster sometimes. I can see him working in an office setting being part of upper management. Yeah, you need a degree for most, if not all of these, but I know for a fact somehow he’d get up there. Be it charisma, working his way up to the top. Someone somewhere is gonna call him boss.

~~~ A/N: This was v much spur of the moment writing. Thank you for reading/reblogging/liking/commenting!

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

my opinion on the kind of phone every character in this game has

Adela:while i believe adela’s the sort to think spending a lot of money on things is stupid, i also think she’d have the stupid three camera phone

Adriana:flip phones because those are way harder to track

Aiden:i think he really didn’t want to have a phone but he got one for his job. so it’s definitely a nokia keyboard slide phone because he’s not quite the guy who’s reject technology embrace the flip either

Alex:he’s a secret agent and extremely quirky about it, so he has a flip phone he dramatically opens every time he takes a call

Arda:he doesn’t have the money to splurge on that but you need a phone for your job and for college. so it’s probably touchscreen, yes, but pretty old anyway. there’s a thin crack through the screen

Aya:she’s pretty boring as a person so she’d just have a standard touchscreen phone that’s not too old, not too new

Barbara:absolutely hates apple with her entire heart and exclusively uses phones she can dismantle. women want her tech store attendants fear her

Bernice: i think saying he even has a brick phone is really generous. but i think it’d be so funny in like some sort of AU for him to get a new generation phone and he’s the mom using a new phone skit from bubarim. “how do i see the time” “it’s literally right here” “oh. sorry. there’s so many buttons” “THERE IS LITERALLY ONLY ONE BUTTON ON THIS”

Bianca:she not only has a fairly new phone. she also has tiktok. she taught johann a tiktok dance for sure since their dynamic is pretty much “SASA LELE HELL YEAH” “yes sasa lele (i know it’s not sasa lele but i want to make her happy)”

Camilo:he would have the NEWEST GENERATION PHONE because he’s so self absorbed

Cathy: nokia with buttons. that’s her vibe

Celine:has to keep it on do not disturb because it blows up with notifications. i’m not sorry

Chiara:i’d be amazed. no fucking way she has a phone

Chloe:i think she buys a new phone once hers becomes significantly outdated and otherwise doesn’t care about it. but nina has her own phone and uses it to watch dora the explorer

Daniel:specifically an old samsung phone i think. not quite buttoned though, touchscreen

Echion: where would he even get a phone

Elena:newest generation phone, no argument. she’s a rich daddy’s girl. the real discussion is:would she look down on someone else for having a shitty phone

Eleven:same as elena, newest generation phone. but i think eleven would look at even a flip phone and be like WOAH SO COOL

Eva:probably has an old phone back from when she was allowed to go outside i think. she had an instagram

Emma:she’s very low-income now but used to be high-income, so she has a phone that was newest generation back when she left. so it’s pretty damn old

Felix:hoodlum skin has a phone, i don’t want to elaborate

Fiora:standard samsung touchscreen phone probably. i think she does keep them “up to date” but isn’t like, NEWEST GENERATION. just avoids letting her phone get too old

Hart:old phone because she’s definitely too poor to buy a new one. there’s several cracks in the screen but she does have an okay phone case

Hyejin:she cannot bear using anything newer than a button nokia

Hyunwoo:generally when you’re still under your parents’ control they choose your phone. so since his mom doesn’t seem to care for him much, i think he has a very old phone or none at all

Isol:he not only does not have a phone, i am convinced he types with one finger. unrelated kind of but yeah i’m right you’re wrong shut up he types with one finger

Jackie:why do i keep drawing a blank. i have genuinely no idea what she’d have. it’s honestly impressive

Jan:i keep picturing a brick phone. realitically it’s a normal one

Jenny: has an iphone for clout but secretly likes huawei

Johann: controversial opinion:priests don’t have phones

JP: i think he has an okay phone and thinks buying a new phone when it comes out is for suckers

Laura:stole a really good expensive phone to use for herself lol

Lenox:since her boss is the one who got her the car i’m willing to bet her boss got her the phone too and she could honestly use any phone and be fine with it

Leon:beyond being waterproof i think he isn’t picky

Li Dailin: very good question. i think she wouldn’t have a phone

Luke:it’d be really funny if he had a flip phone. realistically he’d at least have an older phone that’s able to be properly disposed of, hitmen wouldn’t have a trackable phone, but i’m thinking flip

Magnus:i think he hates technology and says only pussies have good phones

Mai:she’s too rich and fancy to not have a newest generation one tbh

Nadine:is it canon that she sucks with technology or is that just an extension of what makes sense for her? in any case i’ll assume she doesn’t have a phone

Nathapon:i feel like he has a really good camera and a pretty bad phone. i’m thinking those tiny nokia button phones

Nicky: probably breaks phones a lot (not silvia a lot since nicky isn’t reckless, just strong) but a lot), so she would have only the most resistant brands so she can actually keep a phone for longer than a few months

Priya:canonically would not have a phone with that kind of backstory

Rio:god is the one image of her taking a photo of a cat fanart or actual canon. i’ll assume it isn’t

Rosalio:he doesn’t have a good phone case, and gets angry at the phone for breaking when he drops it

Rozzi:hm. she wouldn’t have a phone. i feel it in my bones

Shoichi:itd be funny if i said iphone but realistically he’d just have the usual touchscreen android phone that isn’t NEWEST GENERATION but does the job of a phone. he’s the sort to not buy a new phone until his current one is actually bothering him with how little it works. a frugal guy

Silvia:goes through phones like underwear. either she drops them on the toilet a lot, or she didn’t put it away properly before hopping on her bike and it fell while she drove... they break or disappear constantly

Sissela:ok. completely making this up, not canon. but she is female enzo gabriel she asks if you got games on your phone. so she has an ipad

Sua:she sucks with technology so i think old nokia button phone. she plays snake on it

Tia:i think she decorates her phone case. loves phone charms. might have a new-ish phone so she can use it to draw

William:we’ve seen his phone in the training william skin

Xiukai:you know those phones where they’re touchscreen but you can open a slot underneath to reveal a keyboard? yea

Yuki:rich family, newest generation. i just specifically think he has an iphone though, the other rich folks could have anything but i think he has an iphone

Zahir:he doesn’t have one. and if you hand him a phone he’ll manage to do the old person thing of setting it to a language neither of you speak and have the gull to be like “these phones are so difficult to understand”

[iridesent-folly]

Kalahdiss by Rico Nasty invokes the feeling of roasting Bakugo, I can't explain why.

I just went in my inbox and not only saw that it was kinda full ngl but saw this amazing masterpiece cause-🥰✌️

I hold an abundance of love for Rico nasty and remembering her early SoundCloud days crack me up so damn much😩���but more importantly, this diss is giving “dynamic slatt$$$” vibes and this just made me think about a scenario where someone said TR Baji would have bars and now I’m ascending-

Hol on, Lemme show you the vision and humor you rq, 

༻ We have just made it to the weekend with a school break approaching the following next two days but, toman is called in for an early morning meeting that Saturday to establish important gangs and discuss reign control over specific areas within Tokyo from Shinjuku and Shinagawa to Kokubunji and Tachikawa.

༻ Since the meeting hadn’t began as of yet, Baji entrust’s his personal items including his phone to Chifuyu of which both Nahoya and Souta peeped as Smiley leaves Souta alone to go and sneak up behind Chifu with the intention of taking Baji’s phone.

༻ After many shushes and squeezing through various other members, Nahoya makes it within close proximity of Matsuno, almost successfully snatching the prized possession from his back pocket.

༻ That was until Baji’s ringtone goes off, exposing a small snippet of him rapping which amuses the very few Manji members who managed to hear the subtle sound erupting from the device.

༻ It was at this moment that smiley’s very own struggle rap career flashes before his eyes, giving him what he may consider is ‘the best idea in his life’- of which he would’ve shared in that moment if he didn’t get caught trying to snatch Baji’s 2005 samsung i750 from Chifuyu’s back pocket.

༻“Smiley, what the hell are you doing” a subtle and calming yet booming voice erupts from behind him unsuspectingly.

“Trying to answer your phone for you (?)”

“I-Stop fucking around and gimme my damn phone bozo-” Smiley’s turns swiftly once hearing Baji’s statement announced.

“Not my fault that dumb ass ringtone was distracting everyone in the function,”

“As if you could do better” a grin teasing it’s way on to Baji’s face as he taunts his newly gained opponent. Angry’s attention perking up from four bikes away. Eyes wondering upon the scene, conjuring up potential ideas for what could happen with in the next few moments.

“And what if I can.” Smiley provokes, Souta soon chiming in. “What if WE can do better-” a chuckle soon rising from Keisuke, eyes settling deep into Nahoya’s now serious façade he uses to hold in his own laughter of amusement.

“Well then prove it tweedle dee and dumb dee, right here, right now” a mocked tone of voice now appearing on the 1st division captain along side a newly gained audience and a newly earned but familiarly apparent grin that’s he’s held back from the beginning of their interaction.

༻ It is also here that we are now introduced to the most forced, straight out the trenches, wanna be Y/n Jay type freestyle you can think of. I can only envision now the amount of anticipation the crowd of toman members felt after Baji advises chifuyu to stand off to the side, conflicted on whether or not this interaction will transition into another vigorous scuffle between members before a booming sound can be heard from the Bluetooth Matsuno is seen holding, quickly tying to his own bike.

༻Rap battles between the three soon become more frequent and regular that it just so happened to slide it’s way into tradition between 1st and 4th division members to ensure their captains fought atleast once each week. This also soon leading to the creation of disstracks similar “dynamic slatt$$$” where the three of them are just fooling around.

This truly ties into that bakugou roast because I can see now an interaction like this occurring between Sero, Denki and Kirishima where they jokingly make fun of bakugo’s ass with Mina chiming in to create something similar to Rico Nasty’s “Kalahdiss”. I need to go more in depth with that scenario in it’s own individual post and indulge more in this one because that just seems way too damn hilarious to pass up here-😫🤚

@royalelusts @hoetachi @antagonixxt @morosis-haze @kazuluvr @floof-ghostie

[fluorescencefuture]

Hwayugi / A Korean Odyssey Episode 3 Thoughts

Overall Feelings About the Show So Far

Good god, why did they put so many effects without the budget for them

This is the worst Wukong outfit design I have ever seen

Why is every episode 1 hour 30 minutes I mean episiode 1 and 2 could've totally been one episode just saying

Not really feeling the chemistry yet

K-dramas use Vine boom sound effects and I cannot take anything seriously because of that

I’m saying it now, I hate the soundtrack

I use Samsung phones so I feel a visceral reaction every time I hear the ringtones in K-dramas. That Morning Glory alarm will forever haunt me

The Main Leads

Wukong couldn't just blow on blood to get rid of it in the original but it's not out of character for him or the novel to pull a bullshit power out of nowhere so I’m cool with it. He can also magically control traffic now, which I accept as canon

I don't like Samjang that much. I feel like they haven't quite struck the balance between headstrong and put together with bewildered and scared of the magical realm. I mean the latter is really accurate to Sanzang in the book but Sanzang in the book is horrible so

Is it the actress? I really don't vibe with the character of Samjang but looking at it again I feel like the script are totally fine. I think it might actually just be a miscast actress, or odd direction

Ehh, the double tsundere thing isn't really working as well as it did in What's Wrong with Secretary Kim, the other K-drama I half-watched

Honestly I wish they went the A Chinese Odyssey route and used White Bone Demon or Original Character Do Not Steal for Wukong's love interest because a version of Sanzang is too obvious of a choice for me and also this one’s kinda boring

Guanyin would totally have a version of the headband that inflicts emotional pain ahah. Making someone fall in love with you by using a device (like a love potion or gadget) is a trope I find egh but it's a little less awful here since Samjang didn't know it would do that and Wukong still has some free will

Rejecting his love gives him physical pain, wonderful. And hey, they've got that part right, the only wounds that actually hurt Wukong are emotional ones. And also Red Boy's fire

The Supporting Cast

I honestly really love Mr. Lee, the employee guy. He doesn’t deserve to be caught up in this.

"Even someone as boring as dogs and cows can become a celebrity?" he says unknowingly to the dog and cow demons

Demon Bull King is kind of overacted at times but he can be funny too

"Sha Wujing tweeted that Bull Demon King found Samjang" oh my god, he got destroyed by Twitter

That "time travel doppleganger" photo, I love that. And the dog demon secretary pointing at the fluffy doggo and going "hey it me!"

Oh shit, imperial Japanese flag, we in the occupation?! And the lady who got shot in front of him was Princess Iron Fan? Holy shit, that's one hell of a backstory for Demon Bull King

Bro, he loves his wife :'(

So DBK's plan was to hire Samjang to make Wukong do exorcisms and he would take the credit? That's...brained. Not small-brained or big-brained, just brained.

Hey look, it's the OG trio all together. ...It doesn't feel the same

Okay even if Bajie is too attractive he's still the same old Bajie inside so it's all good. DBK calls him out on being a coward, ahah. I also love that Bajie's still delusional over his power level compared to Wukong

Little Things I Liked

Wukong dropping off a monkey plush for her to hang out with when she's alone, that's fantastic. "This is Sun Wukong Jr. If he makes you cringe, please take this bracelet off me."

Wukong points out that he lived on a volcano island and actually though, is that why Wukong liked the snowfall so much in that one arc of the book? It never crossed my mind that being from a rather tropical region, he'd of course be a little sensitive to winter cold and amazed by snowfall in general

Wukong parks like a douche which is totally in character since he'd just walk into places and tie the horse up without any permission

"I don't have to take my heart out and show you right?" He can actually physically do that by the way

Wukong stocked the fridge full of Tupperwares of sauces and side dishes for when he eats Samjang I love that

What is that wand thing he's wielding? Is that what the staff is in Korean interpretations?

How are you still cold you bitch you're wearing that ugly ass fur coat all the time

Y'know, it is pretty nice to see a modern Journey to the West that focuses on exorcising more modern type ghosts and demons, I mean that'd be Wukong's best job in modern time

Turns around in bed, Wukong lying in a "paint me like your French girls" pose, he goes "Hey", I should steal that and turn it into a gag comic ahah

In this episode Wukong goes “Damn bitch, you live like this?” and “Alone on a Saturday night? God, you’re pathetic”

Demon Bull King implying that Stephen Chow and Angelina Jolie are demons

Who's this peacock demon?! There's no peacocks in Journey to the West! But for real heh, an Indian animal, keep referencing the original book please

That episode had more shit going on than the previous two, thank god for that cause the last two did NOT need three hours. I mean, this one's still too long but at least shit's happening.

[i-am-just-a-kiddo]

seven comfort movie

i’ve been tagged my lovely @vishcount, thank you!!💗 most of these movies are from my childhood which i always come back to when i need comfort. i chose these movies from the amount of serotonin they are definitely going to give me. 

am tagging @cortue, @intyalote, @the-cloud-whisperer, @isabellaofparma, @sassyassassy​, @tresi-world​ maybe you enjoy this too!

 so here i go under the cut: 

Mary Poppins (1964)

I’ve recently rewatched this with my family and just sobbed. It’s just such a joy to watch and it gets me emotional every damn time? Recently I’ve had an emotional breakdown over this movie because of very unexpected reasons, so all I can say is that it never gets boring. It feels like a cosy blanket from childhood that makes me feel safe for some reason.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

This was the first LOTR movie that I watched entirely and that’s why it has a soft spot in my heart. All the movies are amazing but the 2nd one always gets me crying the most? I loved Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli searching for Merry and Pippin, I loved the Fangorn Forest, I loved Rohan and its whole atmosphere (especially the soundtrack), I LOVE THE MARCH OF THE ENTS, and I still think the battle and Helm’s Deep is still the most epic one. I also adored the creepy vibes of the Marshes and Sam’s speech at the end in Osgiliath just makes me sob every time. All in all, this movie is perfect to me and my 9 yo self was very much influenced for life by this. i’ve never fallen out it

Tři oříšky pro Popelku/ Three Wishes for Cinderella (1973)

I’m not lying when I say that I’ve been watching this movie ever since I was born, because in my family not a single christmas passes without watching this. I think this has been a tradition in the Czech side of my family ever since this movie was released and even after growing up, I never get tired of it? It’s probably the only christmas tradition I will keep forever. It’s not just the most familiar movie, but its production is stunning? Legendary to be honest. If you know this movies, you understand what I mean and if not... I can’t really explain tbh.

Pride (2014)

When I think about comfort movies, I instantly remember this one. I’ve only seen it once so far but the experience of watching it is so incredibly vivid in my memory? I remember watching it soon after it came out on netflix on my tiny samsung phone screen and sobbing my heart out by the end of it. It’s one of those feel-good movies that give me so much hope? I truly should rewatch it at some point, it’s been way too long.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (2001)

I can’t make a list like this without mentioning at least one HP movie. We grew up with the VHS cassettes with the first three movies, so those especially always give me a very strong feeling of comfort and joy. I remember as a child I was so mesmerised by it and when the movies came out in the cinemas we always waited impatiently. I literally just grew up with them. The first movie especially just gives me this intense feeling of home. It’s the beginning of it all, it introduces this world to us and is so strongly tied to so many of our childhoods. Am so sad for all the shit that J*R is pulling, because this world has been dear to me ever since I can remember.

Big Hero 6 (2014)

This is another movie that comes to my mind in an instant when I think about comfort movies. This too, I’ve seen only two times I think? and it just heals me okay. It’s healing. I have nothing else to say apart from that. I should rewatch, for mental health purposes.

Peter Pan (2003)

This last one too is a childhood AND adult favourite of mine. As you might have noticed, my common theme is fairytales, magical lands and just dreamy movies. I rediscovered this movie a few years ago after having forgotten about it for so long and it’s one of those fairytales that just hit so differently when you grow up? I guess the entire story of Peter Pan is designed to be like this and it just breaks and heals me all the same. And this is my absolutely favourite adaptation of Peter Pan ever because it so perfectly represents the dreamlike story of the book but also its brutal themes and the ever-lingering melancholia? It’s just a perfect movie in my eyes. It’s comfort and sadness all the same, but so are many of the movies on my list I guess. 

Okay this was a lot of fun!! Made me miss all these movies so much and also sad for others I had to leave out. I didn’t mention many of my favourite movies I watched recently, because when I think about ‘comfort’, there’s these movies that accompanied me and gave me comfort during my childhood, that have never quite left me. I think recently I have discovered other comfort movies like Moonlit Winter (2019) and Watership Down (1978) that I wish I could have added here, but I don’t really think they fit this comfort theme perfectly. I also almost added one of the Pirates of The Caribbean movies because those were a big companion as well, not to mention the Narnia movies, but this list only allows seven right. Am feeling nostalgic now, thanks

[shaalk]

How we started

Type: Oneshot

Characters: Sehun X Reader

Genre: Fluff, Romance, CEO AU

Warnings: None

Status: Completed

Summary: Sehun is that haughty yet handsome boss that everyone somehow falls for. I am not an exception. 

Words: 1900

“Oppa, stop!” I giggle loudly as Jongin continues tickling me. Thankfully we are the only ones left in the cafeteria since lunch ended 10 minutes ago. I wouldn’t want to be swept up in rumours in this huge company, saying that I was fooling around with one of my bosses.

He finally stops after I start gasping for air. We begin talking about our personal lives and our families. It is weird how I am so close to a boss. I could talk to Jongin so comfortably unlike some of my other bosses. This then led to Mr Kim requesting me to call him by his name when we weren’t in work-related situations.

I am actually quite close to all my bosses, except for one.

Speaking of the devil, a cough is heard from behind me. Jongin stops mid-sentence as we turn to see the strictest boss of the company towering over us. He nods his head lightly in Jongin’s direction before his gaze fleets over to me, just staring into my eyes. I get up to greet him right away

“Good afternoon, Mr Oh.” I bow.

Jongin then invites the newcomer to sit with us.

Mr Oh sits opposite me, while Jongin and I are on the other side of the table. The two bosses indulge themselves in a conversation about one of their clients while I start zoning out.

After a while of daydreaming, I feel my eyelids growing heavier. It seems like the late nights for the past month are getting to me. I really can’t wait for the Samsung project to be over so that I can actually leave work on time and be on my bed by 11pm. Suddenly, I feel a cold touch on my cheek and I flinch in shock.

“Tired?” Jongin asks softly, watching my eyelids flutter. I pout and nod while rubbing my eyes.

I hear a sigh from beside me before I am lightly pulled to lean against his body.

“Rest for a while,” he says before gently pushing my head so that I am lying on his shoulder. My mind is telling me to protest but just too tired to listen. I end up drifting to sleep almost immediately.

——————————————————————

My eyes shoot open when I hear someone murmuring on the phone beside me. I glance around to see that I am still in the cafeteria. I peep down at my watch to see that I have napped for a good 30 minutes and there was still 15 minutes of my break left.

Mr Oh is no longer in front of me too. Since he’s known to be a workaholic, I can only assume that he has gone back to his office to complete some documents.

I move away from the body beside me to stretch, especially my neck which is slightly sore from laying on one side for half an hour.

“Slept well?” I immediately freeze, my eyes wide.

That is not Jongin's voice!

I quickly turn to my left where the voice came from and sheepishly bow my head in embarrassment.

“Sorry Mr Oh!” I fluster an apology. 

He just waves his hand, dismissing my words, just as he does to most things I say.

He explains that Jongin had to rush off for a last minute meeting with one of the company’s suppliers but wanted me to continue sleeping comfortably. So he made Mr Oh sit beside me to ensure that I had something, or someone to lean on.

After packing his things, Mr Oh silently nods towards the elevators, signalling that we should head back up to our office. I scurry behind my boss, not wanting to bring his unusually non- angry mood down.

In the elevator, I paste myself to the back of the metal box while Mr Oh stands in the middle, scrolling through something on his handphone.

All of a sudden, his back is all I can focus on. His broad shoulders, his slender waist and his thick arms hidden under the grey plaid jacket. I have always thought my boss was super attractive and I might even have had a teensy crush on him at some point.

I don’t know what takes over me because within the next second, I step forward and wrap my arms around Mr Oh’s waist, snuggling my face into his strong back. His woody scent that I am fond of infiltrates my nostrils immediately.

I feel my boss tense up in my hold and he stops scrolling through his phone as well, but he doesn’t say anything.

The elevator bell rings all of a sudden, telling us that we have reached the top floor and that it is time for us to get off.

My eyes and mouth shoot open in shock. I wake up from my trance and immediately pull myself away from Mr Oh. I can feel my cheeks burning up already. 

With a clear of his throat, Mr Oh leaves the confines of the elevator and struts to his office like nothing out of the usual has happened, leaving me surrounded by his scent.

What have I done?

I hang my head low and slowly walk to my desk that is situated outside Mr Oh’s office, wondering how I am going to face him again after that embarrassing incident in the elevator.

Just as I am about to plop down on my seat and attempt to continue with my work, the intercom beeps, a tell-tale sign that Mr Oh needs me in his office.

I huff in frustration, totally not ready to face him yet. My face is heating up again and my heart is beating quickly.

Shit, am I going to get fired?

I pace outside Mr Oh’s office for a while, trying to calm myself down, but to no avail. The intercom beeps again and this time, for the first time ever, Mr Oh actually speaks.

Maybe because I usually respond to him immediately.

“I believe I have beeped you. Get into my office, now!” I hear his rough voice interrupt the silence of the office.

Not wanting to annoy him further, I quickly knock his door before entering. Mr Oh is still furiously typing away on his computer, not giving me attention at all.

“You called, Mr Oh?” He holds a finger up in my direction, wordlessly telling me that I should wait for a moment.

I bounce on my feet and play with my fingers not knowing what else to do. There are so many thoughts running through my mind but the only probable reason of why I was summoned into his office is definitely because of the damn hug I gave him in the lift. I internally scream at myself for being so stupid.

Isn’t that harassment?

As the countless scenarios of how i’m going to get fired run through my head, I hear the wheels of a chair moving, which means that Mr Oh is done with whatever he was doing, and is going to talk to me.

I dare peep up at my boss, only to see his facial expression as blank as it always is, giving me no clues on what he is going to converse with me about.

Just as he opens his mouth to say something, I immediately start apologising profusely with my head down. I can’t bring myself to look at him, worried that he will be glaring at me, or worse, would want to fire me. I get to the point where tears are about to roll down my cheeks.

I love my job. Yes it is stressful and yes my boss is always demanding and angry all the time, but he was great at what he did. I had always admired his work ethic and am proud to call him my boss.

My apology outburst ends. I don’t know what else to say anymore and yet, I still don’t hear a word from Mr Oh.

I hesitantly glance up to find Mr Oh staring at me with a light smirk playing on his lips. He tips his head towards the couch by the door, silently telling me to take a seat.

I shuffle across the room and drop down on the couch with my head still down. I hear Mr Oh sit on the couch opposite me.

“I would like to discuss our board meeting presentation next week,” he starts.

I snap my head to look up at him, wide eyed. He raises an eyebrow at my action but continues planning the presentation.

I am thankful that he doesn’t mention the situation in the elevator because after a while, I forget about the incident and start giving my inputs for the meeting.

About an hour later, we manage to finalise the decisions for the presentation. I take that as a cue for me to leave. I bow and make my way to exit the room.

Just as I am about to reach out to turn the door handle, Mr Oh calls out for me.

I turn to see that he has a ghost of a smile on his lips, which is a rare sight.

“About that hug in the elevator,” he starts and my body immediately starts to heat up, expecting the worst. “I would appreciate if next time, you were standing in front when you hug me and also gave me a chance to hug you back,” he continues teasingly. He even dares to wink after that.

Argh, god he is so attractive!

My mouth opens in shock. This is not what I expected at all. The situations in my mind were all going towards a whole different direction. I am so out of it that I don’t even notice him stalking towards me.

Mr Oh places a calloused palm on my cheek to tilt my head up, and lightly pecks my forehead. 

What the heck is going on?

“Close your mouth sweetheart. I don’t want you to get flies in there,” he whispers as he pushes my jaw back up.

Is it warm in this office or is it just me?

“You may go now,” I hear him say.

Still in a state of confusion, I head towards the door until I am stopped again when Mr Oh calls my name.

“Oh, and cancel our 6pm meeting with Mrs Jung. I’m taking you out for dinner.” 

——————————————————————

“That was how mummy and daddy started dating,” I tell my daughter, all the while watching my husband play with our son.

As if he can feel the heat of my gaze on him, Sehun meets my eyes with a huge smile on his face.

How is he still so attractive after all these years?

”What’s wrong princess?” He questions with a frown on his beautiful face. I shake my head.

We play with our kids for a while longer before they fall asleep. We manage to silently tip toe out of their room and head back to ours.

We immediately change into our sleep wear, brush our teeth and jump under the covers. Almost instantly, Sehun’s arm finds its place around my waist while my face is buried into his chest.

“Sehun?” He hums in response. “I love you” I whisper. I can almost feel the smile forming across his face.

“I love you too, my baby.” I hear him proclaim before I slowly drift off to sleep with a smile on my face.

A/N: Let me know what you think! Please drop a comment :)

[quasisengineeringcorner]

iPhone 11, One Month Review (from a Samsung User)

Now I know what y’all are thinking:  OH BOY! Look at this Samsung user about to gloat about how great Samsung is and how shitty iPhones are! Hurr durr....

Yeah, we don’t do that here.

No, this is intended to be an honest review of the iPhone (the iPhone 11 specifically) from someone who has had a Galaxy S5 and S9 Plus and, in all honesty, would still prefer Samsung (or at least Android) phones over Apple phones.  I’ll break this up into a few sections and keep it relatively short:  Interface, Usability, Compatibility, and Performance.  I’ll wrap things up with a general discussion about what I personally like/dislike about the platform and what I think can be done to improve it (if you are a fan of Louis Rossmann like I am, you can probably guess what my thoughts are).

Interface:

I will say as a first-time iPhone user, the interface...was a jumbling mess.  Once I got used to how it worked and the layout, I can now use it like I would any other phone.  It’s actually pretty intuitive to a certain point.  Apple definitely is unique in a lot of it’s interface preferences.  You get a standard home screen, and screens get added automatically when too many apps take up the space.  You can also force more screens to be added but that takes a bit of finger trickery I found.  If I really need an app that I don’t have on any of my personal screens, I have to scroll all the way to the right to the app list where I can search what I need. 

Customizing the interface isn’t really an option given the limited number of widgets (I may be missing something so I’ll probably need to look into that further).  You can create folders to simplify your screens, but that’s about it.  Apple really seems to like basic interfaces and minimalism.

Usability:

Again, here I struggled a bit trying to figure out how to actually use the phone.  A lot of things about how you interact with the phone seem “unique” for the sake of uniqueness rather than having an actual purpose.  First things, how do you access notifications and the phone’s “toolbar”? I was quite surprised that you have to swipe in two different areas of the phone to access each one individually (on Android devices, you swipe the top of the screen and you have access to both in a single interface).  Closing apps is about the same with the exception of how you open your app history.  I will say I like that rather than make it a software switch, Apple provides a hardware switch for silent mode (which has saved me many times during meetings). 

Probably the most frustrating usability item about the phone is navigating apps.  Why the ‘back’ button is on the top of the screen is beyond me.  You can get used to it like many things, but its one of those things where you really shouldn’t have to.

Compatibility:

I can’t really say much here.  I think a lot of the app/software compatibility issues Apple has had in the past with platforms like Google have been rectified.  That being said, I do appreciate the seamless experience within the Apple ecosystem.  They really do a good job of making sure everything works together.  (This is more third-hand experience as I have friends who are long-time Apple users who have discussed this and showed me.)

Performance:

I think this section needs a small preface:  I am comparing the performance of a newer-ish generation phone (iPhone 11) to one that is a few years older (S9 Plus).  That being said, I have not noticed any significant performance issues that couldn’t have already been attributed to something else (damage, battery age, etc.).  For general use, I haven’t noticed any difference in performance quality between either of the platforms.  It’s a phone, and if you use it like a phone, it’s gonna work just fine.

Opinions  and Suggestions:

Right out of the gate, I’m gonna say this:  I think the iPhone and Apple products in general are designed for a specific type of person.  I personally don’t like that I pretty much had to devote a month to learning new habits just to be able to use the iPhone like I would any other phone.  Maybe the interface makes more sense to that type of person, but it doesn’t to me.  That being said, I don’t hate the phone.  It’s a phone, and I treat it as such.  Would I buy an iPhone again? Perhaps.  But my preference still leans strongly towards Android.

My first suggestion is something I hope iPhone users can agree with me on:  GIVE THE DAMN THING AN OPTION FOR EXTERNAL MEMORY.  Do I appreciate that Apple provides their iCloud service? Yes, BUT I do not want to have to wonder whether my files are in there or not, and I definitely don’t want to have to pay for memory recovery on the off chance something happens to my phone. Give us an option for a removable SD card...please. 

My second suggestion (and this is pure personal preference, but maybe someone will agree with me) is to put the ‘back’ button on the bottom of the screen.  I don’t know who at Apple thought that was a good idea, but I really don’t like having to stretch my hand all the way across the screen to go back to a previous page.  Honestly, ergonomically speaking, it just makes sense.

My last suggestion is to add a ‘close all open apps’ button in the app history screen.  This is another thing where I’m not sure what the hell they were thinking and it would certainly make things easier on the users (since Apple likes to advertise their products’ simplicity). 

Closing Remarks:

As I have already said, ultimately, the iPhone is just that:  a phone.  You don’t really gain or lose much in terms of it just being a phone.  The same thing can be said of Android phones.  If you are just comparing the devices, there’s nothing really that elevates one over the other.  There’s something to be said about fanboy-ism in tech, and while I’m not going to talk at lengths about it here I think it really should be noted.  Overall, I’m neither impressed or disappointed with the iPhone.  It’s a good phone and it does its job.  And I think if you can say that about a product, any product, that should be more than enough.

[shochmonster]

84 Questions

original: https://fuckyeahsurveys.tumblr.com/post/61049002526/84-questions

Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs Guns of Brixton - The Clash Holiday in Cambodia - Dead Kennedys  Chainsaw - Nick Jonas California - Joni Mitchell Make It Wit Chu - Queens of the Stone Age This Woman’s Work - Kate Bush The Bad Thing - Arctic Monkeys Between the Bars - Eliot Smith Drown - The Smashing Pumpkins Different People - No Doubt

If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you? I’d take @duoloopo to the UK. I’d like to see places other than London.

What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen)  I use my iPad stylus the most, but I have this heavy mechanical pencil I really like for drawing. 

Favourite month and why? October. I just love the fall vibe. 

Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them. I went to undergraduate school with Rebecca Sugar. We used to ride the bus between NYC and DC together on holidays. 

Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are. Can of seltzer, pencil case, stack of bills

What brand logo is closest to you currently? REAL Skateboards

Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites? I love Small World and Munchkin. 

A musical artist you love that isn’t well known Laura Stevenson and the Cans

A musical artist you love that is well known Red Hot Chili Peppers

What is your desktop background currently? Thomas Barrow on the beach in the Season 4 Christmas Special

Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them @duomaxwell02 with my face :O 

First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow White

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? Two wall clocks, though one is very old and doesn’t wind anymore. I also have a clock @duoloopo ‘s dad made for me. It’s on the piano. 

What kind of headphones do you use? JBL Bluetooth, noise canceling 

What musical artists have you seen perform live? Foo Fighters (3x), Incubus (3x), Red Hot Chili Peppers, Smashing Pumpkins, Beastie Boys, Audioslave, Justin Timberlake, Troy Sivan, Arctic Monkeys, The Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton, Queen (but with Roger Daughtry, not Freddy... for obvious reasons.). Probably a whole bunch of others I’m blanking on. 

Does virginity matter to you? Not really. 

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? PS4, PS2, PS1, XBox 360, N64, Gamecube, Wii, NES, SNES, various Gameboys, Nintendo DS, PSP

What pets do you have? What are their names? Two cats, Hemingway and Renji

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? I like freelance art gigs the best. As for ‘normal people jobs’, I once was a sign painter for Whole Foods. That was pretty fun, minus the work drama. 

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? Food service. 

What magazines do you read, if any? I’ll pick up Time once in a while

Inspiration behind your URL? My classic original URL was LinkWorshiper and had been since AIM first existed. I picked it because Zelda was the first fandom I ever joined. Now I’ve changed all my handles (except on AO3) to reflect my actual name, as my literary agent thinks it’s more professional. 

Inspiration behind your blog title? Mean Girls. I always chuckle imagining Thomas and Jimmy as some Edwardian version of the Plastics. 

Favourite item of clothing? My Downton livery waistcoat. And the stiff bosomed shirt and collars I have to go with it. 

Are you friends with any exes? Nah. By the time I felt comfortable enough to possibly try, I also didn’t care enough to. 

Name at least one book you loved as a child. His Dark Materials (the trilogy by Philip Pullman). I still love them and am jazzed that he’s writing more these days. 

What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English) US English, mostly a northeastern dialect/accent

What email service do you use? Gmail

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? So much stuff. I have a mood board full of Downtons stuff over my desk, various DA posters and memorabilia, plus some artwork I’ve done, and some of my JC Leyendecker collection. The aforementioned wall clocks, a San Francisco cable car bell, Sailor Moon and a few other little knickknacks, like my hamsa. To name a few lol. 

What’s your favourite number, and why? 212 because it’s Manhattan’s area code and also because it used to be the notation for one of my favorite ships in an old fandom. 

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? Sitting under the table and looking at my grandma, who was wearing a Cruella Deville dress she’d knit herself. Like, it had the actual Disney character on it. Pretty cool to a little guy, I guess!

What did you have for dinner yesterday? Quesadilla 

How often do you brush your teeth? Whenever they feel gross

What’s your favourite candy/chocolate? Lately, I’ve been into Junior Mints. 

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? This blog used to have my old handle, linkworshiper. I did a small Whole Foods blog when I worked with them, but it never went anywhere. 

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? Sushi

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? Downton Abbey, though lately I’ve been crazy busy and not as active as I once was. Casually still poking at old fandoms like Zelda and Gundam Wing to name a few. 

If you could study anything, what would it be? More art education can’t hurt. Maybe some formal history education. 

Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick) Chapstick 

How would you describe your sense of humour? Seinfeld 

What things annoy you more than anything else? Mouth noises

What kind of position are you in at the moment? Sitting

Do you wear much jewellery? Nope

Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc) Three supposedly equal branches of government, currently being run into the ground by a clown 

Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own @halcyondaze @mab1905 @lavender-hued-melancholy

What do you carry your money in? I try to never carry cash, but I carry a small wallet 

Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not? I like it but sometimes it feels like a chore, especially during a commute. @duoloopo thinks I’m a shit driver so she tries to drive whenever she can, which has pluses and minuses. 

Longest drive you have ever been on? Savannah GA to San Francisco, CA in a UHaul

Furthest away from home you have ever been? Germany 

How many times have you moved house? God, I don’t even know. More than ten. 

What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture? Cat toys, unused canvases

How many devices do you own which can access the internet? Phone, computer, iPad, various game consoles 

Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy? Thomas and Jimmy <3 <3 

Is there anything that always makes you sad? Thinking too hard about being a failure

What programs do you currently have open? I just rebooted, so only Chrome, Spotify and Photoshop

What do you associate the colour red with? This line in the Kate Bush Song Blue Symphony, which goes, ‘I associate love with red, the color of my heart when she’s dead.’ 

Last strong smell you can remember smelling? The Greek food I ordered in for dinner

Last healthy thing you ate? Roasted veggies

Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day? I prefer tea, and I drink coffee for energy, though sometimes I think it just makes me crash harder. 

What do you associate the colour blue with? The sky

How long is the closest ruler you can find? 12 inches

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? Dark blue

When was the last time you drank water? About a minute ago

How often do you clear your browser history? Rarely

Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic? Yes

Ever written fanfiction for anything? Oh God, yes. You can still find it under Link Worshiper on AO3, though some of my ‘classics’ have been removed since I turned them into original manuscripts 

Last formal event you attended My cousin’s wedding

If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why? Maybe inch my birth year up just by two so that I’d stop being called a damn millennial. At my age, I really just don’t relate to the generation even though technicalities make me a part of it. 

Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside? Beach

Roughly how many people live in your town? 52,000

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Leonard Nimoy :D 

Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores I haven’t really gone shopping since the pandemic. Right now, it feels like the only place to buy anything is Amazon XD

Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one? Samsung. It’s not a Galaxy but is a new model and a fraction of the price. 

What is your least favourite colour, and why? I don’t think I dislike any colors honestly. 

How do you spell grey/gray? Grey. I’ve got too many British online associates to ever go back. 

Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link) It’s Umbrella Academy fanart of Klaus. He’s in black and white with this hands over his eyes and the background is red. It’s very graphic. 

What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow? 736

How many posts do you have? 8,859

How many posts have you liked? I can’t find the stat D: 

Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content? Mainly reblogs but I pepper in my own content when I can. Lately, I haven’t had time to do as much fanart though, and I kind of feel like it’s not worth bothering to post my original stuff. Nobody follows my blog for that. 

Do you track any tags? No. 

What time is it currently? 7:33 PM CMT

Is there anything you should be doing right now? Waking up @duoloopo. TIME TO JUMP ON THE BED. 

tagging, if they feel like it: @abbys-little-whippersnapper​ @bumblebarrow​ @irrationalgame​ @downtoncat​ @mab1905​ @duoloopo​

and everyone who I’ve forgotten

[doroyamz]

Love in Accra

The road looked like it was sweating.

Rain. Heavy rain. The rush hour traffic on the 37 Military Hospital Road had come to a standstill. The downpour, from nowhere, was a welcome distraction for Tony. Last night’s encounter with his wife, Alicia, still all too fresh in his mind.

Cars were barely moving along on in the ever-rising storm.

He felt a movement on his right thigh but was too preoccupied with his thoughts to give it any attention. Esi by this time was growing restless, tired of Tony’s now constant rebuffing of her advances. Last night, and for many nights in the past month, he was totally limp when she unzipped him, a far cry from the throbbing pistol that had thrilled her to no end when they first began their countless rendezvous.

In those early days, they were lust personified. Crazed and addicted to each other beyond reason. Their constant need to feel each other’s skin had a near cataclysmic pull on them and their respective worlds. Alicia got pregnant in those early days, an event Tony privately regarded as a spillover from being with his now long-standing mistress. Esi’s marriage was virtually in the gutter. She often showed up at home disheveled and night after night, retired to her marriage bed wearing a satisfying post-coital daze on her face. Her husband, would just watch her. Mute and completely emasculated.

But now her once insatiable incubus was limp to her touch. She could not understand it.

xxx

Alicia had found the video on his phone.

Tony’s entire world came to a screeching halt. His throat was so dry, he wasn’t sure if he had one anymore. He stood paralyzed; the phone screen thrust in his face. Cocked his head at an angle as if in disbelief at the two actors in the tiny screen.

The man in the screen was bald, tall and dark and looked very much like him. He stood at about 6”3 with an NBA player’s build and had the beard to match. The male actor was indubitably approaching climax and his voluptuous female understudy, on cue, fiercely gripped onto dear life – which in that moment, was her male lead.

The ochre-skinned woman in the screen was of the finest fettle. Folasade was a full-blooded Nigerian but her unapologetic curves screamed South Africa. She looked like a Marvel comic heroine brought to life.

Fola and Tony met at a seminar for West African business executives at the Kempinski Hotel, a few months after his wedding. Fola was leading a breakout panel session which Tony sat in on, intoxicated by her form and presence. The two had exchanged steamy glances all day long, making no attempt to restrain their mutual intentions for each other when the conference ended.

Tony could never get enough of Fola and in Tony, Fola had found a man who could satisfy her every whim. They could go for months on end without so much as a text message to each other. But whenever contact was made, their respective schedules were cleared until further notice. They were fully aware that their combined desire was a vast black hole with the potential to consume them, so they took conscious steps to maintain some modicum of balance in their meeting arrangements.

The night the fated video was shot, Fola was headed for a month-long business trip in Morocco. They had arranged to meet at her private office on Volta Street in the Airport Residential Area.

Fola’s suggestion to record themselves as a temporary parting memento was inexplicable to Tony. Her claim that it would be something that would hold her while she was away, seemed puzzling to him. Her feigned desperation, even more perplexing.

Tony was completely against the idea of recording their liaison. Remonstrating over and over again about how technology and affairs of love should never cross. Fola ogled him for a while, offered tiny chuckles as he groped her every now and then during his rant.

Tony became so engrossed in his personal deliberations that he missed her slip into the bathroom. When he finally took a moment to break from his monologue, he was out of breath and had worked up a sweat. The man felt he just needed to wash away all traces of that unholy proposal.

Once on the other side of the bathroom door, Tony became Pavlov’s Dog.

That was over a year ago and Fola still hadn’t returned from her trip.

His mind slowly drifted back to the screen. The soft moans and cries. The sound of skin on skin rhythmically playing from the Samsung phone speakers.

He didn’t feel shame. He didn’t feel regret. He heard Alicia’s cries, felt her pain slide across his skin. He just stood there. Numb.

xxx

“We have asked around about Tony…Alicia…for your sake, for your parents’ sake, for all our sakes…please…do not marry this man.”

One of the many admonitions Alicia fielded from her aunts and cousins after announcing Tony’s marriage proposal at her younger sister’s festive birthday party.

In the ensuing weeks after her announcement, the family matriarchs conducted an extensive background check to gather as much intel as they could on her suitor. From what Alicia’s mum told her the matriarchs searched far and wide, even unearthing some very unsavory stories about Tony’s maternal grandfather in Mampong, a township in the Ashanti region.

The women came back with a most damning report on Alicia’s debonair Asante. Alicia, however, was defiant and unmoved by their findings.

She stood up to address the mini-assembly.

“Each woman here knows how highly I value them. You have all shaped me, guided me and helped me become the woman I am today,” she said in a restrained voice.

“But with all respect, none of you know Tony like I do. You don’t know what I see in him, his potential. The depths of emotion I have felt in the time I’ve gotten to know him. None of you can know that. He’s not perfect, Lord I know he’s far from it, but I know he’s the one for me. Nothing you say or do can make me feel differently.”

She loved Tony deeply. She had never believed she was capable of loving a man, let alone marrying one, after all the damage she had seen men wreak in and around her life. And Tony had flaws, many serious ones, but he had a certain light to him and he had showed her honesty and a vulnerability she had never known men to possess.

Deep down, she believed she could change him, iron out his weaknesses and over time drive out his especially troubling womanizing habit. She knew he liked women and on countless occasions, with her own eyes, she noticed the magnetizing effect he had on them. Alicia also believed some of his troubles with women lay in the fact that he was a true empath. That he, unfortunately, had never learned to draw boundaries to his empathy which inadvertently led to his many ‘situationships.’ 

“I won’t lie Alicia. I know I have a woman problem. It’s like an addiction. The intimacy, the need to connect, the sex.” They were having lunch at the Hinlone Chinese Restaurant in Labone. The night before, as they lay in bed, Tony had told he loved her for the first time. Alicia simply smiled at his declaration, electing to play it cool although inwardly, she was beside herself with joy.

Flashes from the video.

The woman’s legs splayed. Tony’s thrusts. The glistening sheen of sweat.

“But I swear to you, most of my things with these women often start out because I pity them or I want to help them in some way…along the line, things just get muddled up and…I lose my way...”

The woman crying out in throes of pleasure.

Her mind was a broken dam. Thoughts, memories and conversations flooded her head and receded at their own leisure.

She wondered why these memories and conversations were coming up at this time. The video was still a freshly opened gash, one she had already accepted was going to be a large and permanent scar. But for the other flashbacks, she questioned their relevance to her current predicament.

He was always a monster. Why was I pretending all this time that he wasn’t? Who was I kidding?

The video was the bomb but Tony’s desensitized demeanor and harrowing forced confessions were the firestorm. She knew there was so much more he would have confessed to if she had had any more emotional stamina during her five-hour interrogation of the stranger she called her husband. She had been beyond foolish.

Time had lost its meaning. She had spent three days huddled in the corner of their bedroom tormented by her broken heart and mind.

Alicia just wanted to disappear.

xxx

One week and seventy-seven unanswered calls had passed since the explosive encounter. Tony wasn’t sure if Alicia was alive.

He was parked outside the Total House Clinic in Adabraka on a Saturday morning. Completely engrossed in his thoughts and yearning for divine intervention to offer him some guidance. Since his exposé, his mind had been in a fog that thickened with each passing day. The only silver lining were the test results from his urologist. Tony’s recent erectile issues were deemed a stress response and his dysfunction persisted due to a lack of proper rest. He needed to relax.

His wife was even more inaccessible now than she’d been during the miscarriage. For Tony, the miscarriage was a living hell made more intolerable by how suicidal Alicia had been. He was disappointed to have lost the baby especially after how hard they’d tried over the years but a small and, perhaps, darker part of him felt relieved. He didn’t think it was right to have conceived a child with his wife barely an hour after stealing sordid moments with another woman. A woman he met through his wife. In his mind, it was perhaps the universe’s way of warning him that he had gone too far this time. He would never have been able to look at that child without seeing Esi in his mind’s eye.

This time though, he had overstepped the good faith that the universe seemed to constantly extend to him. He knew his credit line with the powers-that-be was now in the red and would stay there indefinitely. His latest debt, while not his most damning by a long shot, was irredeemable. He had nowhere to hide. There were no more lies he could spin around Alicia.

But he needed her. He couldn’t lose his North Star. She was the only thing that prevented his chaotic nature from engulfing him or so he thought. Surely, after all these years she knew what she was signing on for. Why was she so surprised? That video was nothing compared to the numerous other unspeakables he’d committed over the course of their marriage. Of all the things to do him in, it had to be a twenty-minute porno. What a sick joke.

In a bloodrush, he let out a hollow scream. His mind was drowning in haphazard thoughts.

“What have I done? God what have I done?” he blurted out repeatedly at his steering wheel, as he fought to hold back tears.

“Why? Why now? Why did it happen like this?” he plaintively questioned.

No answer.

Deflated and resigned, he took out his work phone and called the only person who would always welcome him with open arms and accept him for the depraved and gluttonous animal he was.

xxx

Incense burned as Jill Scott’s ‘He Loves Me’ played softly from the soundbar. The room had been steamed to perfection.

The Executive Suite at the La Beach Hotel was their favourite love nest. Any sexual fantasy - from orgies to swing parties - either party happened to be in the mood for or could imagine, this was the room that staged its enactment.

Tonight it was just the two of them.

The toned, dark-skinned Ga woman on the bed was in her early seventies but inexplicably did not look a day past twenty. Tightly twisted Senegalese crochet braids, flowed magnificently from her scalp to her dainty waist. Her oval-shaped face remained flawless as did her soft, wrinkle-free skin. How she managed to defy time with her looks and poise was a much pondered upon mystery to all who knew her.

Dede was naked underneath a black, sparkling see-through gown. Her shea-butter glistened body glowed through the gown. A wet, willing and wanting goddess. Ready to be ravaged by her young midnight warrior. She rose to sit on her knees, directing her eyes to her nude captor’s crotch. She rendered a wry smile.

The warrior was flat-out flaccid.

“Mm,” she remarked, as she beckoned him to draw closer.

“Looks like our little man needs a little something before he comes out to play eh?” she teased in playful Ga.

He smirked as he approached her, only stopping when his groin and her face were level.

The mind-fog was still present but he closed his eyes as he begun to feel the slow and perfectly measured licking sensations in his nether region. Dede was always masterful with the things she could do with her mouth. Two lifetimes worth of experience to draw from.

Two minutes passed but Tony’s situation did not improve.

She paused to look up at Tony, “Is something the matter? You usually perk up for me with no effort. Have I done something wrong?”

“No…it’s not you love…,” he paused, longer than he’d intended.

“Just been under a lot of stress lately,” he sighed as he pulled away. He turned his back on the regal woman to look around the room for his clothes.

Dede wasn’t buying it. His tone. That pause. Something was definitely up. She had never known her beast to act or sound so tame in all the years she’d known him, not even during his grooming period.

“But you’re even more marvelous when you’re stressed…or have you forgotten Abidjan?” she asked, biting her lip.

He shrugged at her retort.

Tony was troubled by his recurring limpness.

xxx

Esi’s heart froze when she saw the Caller ID on her phone screen.

Alicia.

Why would Alicia be calling her? For what reason? Was it about Tony? Had she found out about them?

The phone was still ringing but Esi just stared at her mobile. A million worst-case scenarios flying around in her mind each time her ringtone looped over.

She decided she would not answer the call.

It’d been over eight months since they last spoke and the distance that had grown between them suited Esi, considering the increased frequency of her liaisons with Tony in those months. After years of clandestine maneuvers, she felt she was finally closing in on Alicia’s husband.

Both women had known each other from childhood. Esi even witnessed Alicia’s declaration of Tony’s marriage proposal.

The announcement was a mild shock for her at first but she remembered feeling something resembling happiness for her longtime friend. Alicia had found a man who could actually hold her attention. He had to be special. She’d seen Alicia turn down the most desirable of bachelors - a few of whom Esi herself subsequently sampled extensively - on countless occasions.

In her quiet moments, she sometimes wondered why her then soon-to-be-engaged friend seemed to routinely attract men of a higher caliber without even trying, while she often had to go above and beyond to pull a semi-decent man. She felt she was equally as - if not more - attractive than Alicia and just as accomplished professionally but somehow, she always seemed to come out second-best to her childhood friend when it mattered. These thoughts irked Esi more than she cared to admit to herself.

Alicia mirthfully introduced her old friend and soon-to-be-husband to each other a few days after her announcement.

Their eyes locked for a brief but intense moment during the exchange of pleasantries.

xxx

Nyarko Abronoma could not look at the man she called her son.

She was disgusted.

Why were the men in her family such cancers?

To the uninitiated, her family’s men were walking gods. Dazzling men who could bend the wills and desires of the staunchest hearts. They were gifted manipulators and they used their power to wreak havoc. Their preferred targets, were often women of high standing and character. They swarmed on these women like bees to honey. Once ensnared, their targets were mentally and emotionally stretched and bent beyond their limits, enduring relentless acts of gross disrespect and shame on account of these bedeviled men. And in no time, the prey merely became a shell of their former selves.

Nyarko, at the age of nine, saw her mother gradually lose her mind. A year later, a young Nyarko watched on as her mother was lowered into an unmarked grave. Both events, her father’s handiwork.

Her mother used to say that the men of Nyarko’s lineage were descendants of the fallen angels from the Book of Genesis. The Nephilim.

Even in her womb, she already knew Tony was one of them. Throughout her pregnancy, Nyarko prayed, fasted, sought the counsel of several spiritual leaders to save her unborn child. She desperately wanted her son to chart a different path than the men before him.

Tony didn’t know how to break the silence between them.

His mother had always been his trump card whenever things between him and Alicia were coming to a head. This time around though he was seeking his mother’s intervention as a Hail Mary. He knew she admired and loved Alicia. She would probably have traded her for him as her child if she had her way.

He told her what had happened, leaving out a few details.

Nyarko knew her son hadn’t told her everything.

She raised her head to observe her son. A beautiful boy with a Machiavellian heart. He was a poisoned chalice like his predecessors.

Tony looked away, uncomfortable with her soul-piercing stare.

“I can’t help you and I won’t,” she said in Twi.

He was stunned.

“I won’t let you drive that poor woman to the grave. If I help you, you are only going to repeat what your grandfather put my mother through and what my brothers did to their wives. Alicia is too much of a good woman for that. Too much. She deserves better. This time you have been exposed for all to see and we both know there are countless more lies and secrets behind those scheming eyes of yours!”

Tony’s throat tightened. He hadn’t anticipated this tirade from the old woman.

“You think I don’t know about you? The things you scurry around town doing like a possessed rat? I weep for Alicia everyday. I always pray to God to give her strength in dealing with you. You have no shame. Even during your wife’s miscarriage you had no decency, no respect for her, not an ounce of self-control. Hiding in and out of Accra with your concubines.”

Nyarko spat at her son’s feet.

“If anything should happen to Alicia, it will be on your head and I pray you pay for it.”

xxx

Three weeks and still no word from Tony.

Alicia’s call coupled with Tony’s prolonged radio silence led Esi to assume the worst.

She was driving back into Accra, via the Accra-Tema Motorway, after wrapping up a meeting in Tema's harbour area. Hawkers streamed along either side of her car, as she neared one of the highway's three toll booths.

Esi's mind was spinning. Everything seemed to be falling apart. Had she been stupid? Why couldn’t she be allowed to have her own slice of heaven? Was it a crime to want to be loved? She didn’t mean Alicia any harm but the connection between her and Tony was unavoidable.

Why was Tony all of a sudden ignoring her? Why weren’t they making love anymore? She knew  he had a harem of ‘playmates’ he could call on but he always came back to her. Was he over her? Had somebody else taken her place?

Too many questions with no answers. She wracked her brain to think of a solution, a way out through all the madness.

Dede. The Madame. The old woman would probably know something. She and Tony were close, a little too close for Esi’s liking. But Esi figured that a woman at that age didn’t have that long to live, no matter how well she kept herself or how many boys she gobbled up, so Esi was fine with their relationship. Besides she was on good terms with Dede, the three had had some raunchy episodes through the years.

Esi called Dede and inquired about Tony.

“I last saw him about a week ago but I haven’t heard from him since then,” Dede stated.

More worry for Esi. He had gone to see Dede but had not even bothered to call her for three weeks? What was going on with him? Was he over her? She knew Dede had some skills but the old witch had enough boy toys to keep her satisfied.

Dede hummed an Erykah Badu tune. Esi forgot she was still on the line.

“Thank you Dede. I’ll give him a buzz again.”

“Dear girl, hold on for a second please.”

Esi was caught off guard by The Madame’s request. Outside of their fervid love-ins, Dede was typically brisk and forthright with her.

“Have you noticed anything…strange about Tony lately?” Dede asked, an almost mischievous lilt in her slivery voice.

“Strange? What do you mean?” a puzzled Esi asked.

“His performance, has it changed in any noticeable way?” The Madame was sipping on something in the background.

“Oh Dede…,” Esi responded bashfully.

“My girl let’s not beat around the bush. Is anything different or not?”

The sudden firmness in The Madame’s voice unsettled Esi.

“W-Well…recently he doesn’t respond to my touch. You know…,” she didn’t know why she was so shy in speaking to Dede about her sexual affairs with Tony. She had seen the woman on all fours.

Static on the phone.

“He can’t get it up,” Esi muttered feebly.

“Mm..I see. Thank you Esi, that’s all I needed to know. Best of luck reaching him.”

The line cut.

Why would Dede ask that? Was she experiencing the same issues she’d been having with Tony?

The suspicion that had been floating in Esi’s mind for the past few weeks was too absurd to now consider an actual possibility. It was impossible for that to happen to Tony, he was too red-blooded, way too potent for that.

It couldn’t be.

No...no..not Tony...

Tony couldn’t be…?

No!

It isn’t possible. Tony couldn’t be impotent. The mere thought alone was utterly absurd.

But how else could she explain his sudden limpness? Plus Dede would never have asked that question if she hadn’t noti---

Esi fatally rear-ended her Nissan Qashqai into a heavy cargo truck.

xxx

Their luxury three-bedroom apartment home on Second Circular Road, Cantonments, was a stone throw away from the U.S. Embassy. It was a $600,000 property that Tony had astoundingly managed to wind down to a sale price just short of a $100,000. Alicia used to call him ‘Puppet Master T,’ for his uncanny ability to always get what he wanted.

Tony lingered outside the apartment door for nearly half an hour. He was jittery.

A flurry of deep and quick deep breaths filled his lungs as he steeled himself and turned the doorknob.

The apartment felt hostile as if it despised his presence.

His sweep around his marriage home confirmed Alicia had packed up, that much was clear. Their bedroom was half empty, with no trace of his wife left in the room. Alicia was gone and she was gone for good.

A small stack of papers was neatly arranged on the bed. Divorce papers and a small sheet with a number to call when he was done signing. That was Alicia, methodical and precise, even in the worst of circumstances.

Tony sat on the bed, staring at the divorce papers.

He wanted to call Alicia but thought better of it. She’d probably blocked him on all platforms. When his wife didn’t want to be found, she did it well.

The die was cast. There were no more moves he could play.

Something vibrated under his left thigh, briefly snapping him out of his self-pity. He shifted his weight to find the smoking gun that had ended everything.

Tony unlocked the phone to find a freeze-frame shot of a busty Fola in a most compromising position. Alicia must have watched the video countless times, trying to make sense of it all. Her soon-to-be ex-husband zoomed out of the video application to the notification center.

Ato, his closest friend and fellow degenerate, had just sent him series of confusing text messages.

The first message read: “Bro...I have been trying to reach you.” Tony checked his call log to indeed find several missed calls from his main man.

Second message: “I don’t know if you’ve heard already.”

Third: “Bro…I’m so so sorry about Esi...I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. I’m so sorry bro. Please call me if you need me. I’m here for you…”

xxx

Marijuana smoke filled the air of the love nest.

Tony’s head lay buried in Dede’s bosom. He was silent, as Dede gently stroked his head and offered hushed words of consolation.

She drew a few more puffs from her joint and moved it down to Tony’s lips but her wounded warrior declined.

They stayed silent for a lengthy period of time as Dede spaced out from the weed.

Memories of a lifetime’s worth of sexual dissipation with her favorite boy streamed across her mind. Despite her wanton admiration for his sexual prowess, she had grown to develop an affection for her former protégé over the years.

The Madame, as Dede was referred to by Accra’s high society, had known Tony since he was fourteen. Even as a sprightly teenage boy - and much to her pleasant surprise - he oozed raw potential with his savage-like lovemaking abilities. By seventeen, the boy could do things she had never known men to be capable of. He had a frightening and near bottomless appetite that bordered on the frenetic, that even her infamous grooming techniques couldn’t temper.

She shed an unseen tear for her paramour’s wasted manhood. To be completely robbed of his virility in his prime was a cruel blow from the gods.

Dede nonchalantly crushed the end of the burnt-out joint into an ashtray on the bedside table.

“It’s a pity but it seems I have no use for you anymore, my dear,” she said sofly.

Tony was still, his eyes shut. It was what he expected from his Madame.

“There’s a young French couple coming by shortly. Quite the adventurous duo. It’s a shame you wouldn’t be joining us,” she sighed airily.

“A shame,” he whispered.

She started running rings around his lips.

“You’re of course welcome to stay and watch if you please my love,” she said somewhat coyly.

Tony slowly reached for her moving hand and kissed it.

He rose from his resting place, stretched to his full height, and promptly made his way to the door without looking back.

“Tony..,” he heard Dede call out before he shut the door.

Two spirited European-looking girls gaily passed him in the lobby hallway.

As he stepped onto the elevator, the vivacious couple turned around to take in the view of the brooding stud exiting the floor.

xxx

Tony hopped over the fence that separated the La Beach Hotel premises from the beach.

It was a little past midnight and the cool and salty breeze of the sea, soothed Tony’s mood. The mind-fog was clearing up. Whether the fog’s retreat was a result of the second-hand smoke from the weed or the effect of the beach, he wasn’t sure but he was grateful.

It was a moonless, starless sky. The ocean’s waves roared gently, calling to him. He had been here before, in another life perhaps.

He took in the scene before him one last time and smiled. All was fair.

Tony took the first steps towards his death.

xxx

[amztech]

Samsung makes too damn many phones

[oliversmartphonenerd-blog]

The eternal iOS vs Android debate

So, hello everyone. Since this is my first entry as a tumblr user, maybe not too many people will read this but that won’t keep me to tell you a little story of my personal experience with smartphones and what I think is the better platform of the two mentioned in the title. My very first smartphone (let’s only start counting from the time when smartphones actually WERE smart, with easily downloadable apps and whatnot) was an iPhone 4. Got it off contract and a plan separately to keep monthly rates as low as possible. I stayed with Apple for several years, even built the entire infrastructure around my iPhone with a Mac, an iPad, an Apple TV and even an AirPort Extreme. Then came the time when I got bored with my phone and mostly its tiny screen. Actually I just got the iPhone 5S right after release and I loved Touch ID, the color (got the golden version) etc. But many friends of mine had Android phones that were oftentimes significantly larger. So in order to get a much larger phone I switched to Android and stayed there. From Kitkat all the way to Android Pie, from Samsung over Motorola to Huawei, I got quite a few models and I was very happy with most (except for the Moto X Style which has a different name in the US, that was a piece of junk!). My last Android phone which I’ve only had for about four months now was the Huawei P30 Pro. Amazingly versatile camera, brilliant low light performance, beautiful colors (on the back of the device I mean), humongous battery life and all, I love it. But I decided to switch back to Apple now. I picked the often criticized iPhone Xr for numerous reasons: It’s cheaper than the regular model, it got a better battery life and it comes in cool colors. Of course, coming from a phone of almost 6.5″, 8 GB of RAM, a quadruple camera and a battery of over 4000 milliamps I thought I might regret the potential downgrade. You know what? So far I can’t say that I do. The yellow (in which I got the iPhone) is beautiful, the screen is nowhere near as bad as people say (even though understandably it could still have a higher resolution at this price point). In fact it’s even quite good. The camera isn’t good for zoom like the 5x optical of the P30 Pro, also not very good for macro or night shots. But the HDR is way nicer and portrait works almost as good. Something else I’ve always loved about Apple was the attention to detail. The effects implemented in iMessage, Animoji with the cool MeMoji that you can make of yourself, all that is so very well done. Especially the face tracking of the latter works so well it puts everything else (sorry Samsung with your creepy avatars) in the shadow.

Now, since this is supposed to be a differenciated evaluation rather than an iPhone Xr review I’d like to get back to the differences. See, both Android and iOS come with their very own qualities and faults. What’s better for you simply depends on what you need and what you want. You want great ways to personalize your phone in both the way it works and looks? Android is for you. You want as much variety as possible when you want to get a new phone? Android has tons of phones it’s running on, from cheap to very pricey.  Since there are so many different companies, they all try to make their flagships unique. So you can expect all of them to have specifications that you won’t find in most other handsets. Of course with iOS, you’re stuck with Apple’s iPhones. Do you appreciate consistency throughout the entire UI and across all apps? Sounds like you might appreciate iOS (believe me, when every other app seems to have their own set of emoji, it looks very much like patchwork on Android). Both software and hardware are made from the same company so it’s exceptionally well balanced. For a phone that doesn’t have anywhere near as much RAM as some flagship android devices, it’s still pretty damn fast. Even the Xr is quite snappy. The UI is not very flexible but that might also help making it very simple and easy to understand. The flat design is very well executed, especially with the silky glass effects in different menus etc. But I also love Google’s material design to death. It’s really hard to say if I have a clear favorite here.

When it comes to the gimmicks and playful features or animations, as I’ve mentiones that hardly compares to anything else on the market. 

One thing one has to keep in mind as well is the support of third party developers. Of course it’s self-explanatory that if you develop a mobile game, you’re more prone to start with iOS as your platform. You don’t have to pay attention to too many different configurations of chipsets and other hardware such as different screen resolutions and aspect ratios. So it’s less work for you to focus on iOS with just the iPhone and maybe the iPad. That was also one of the reasons I wanted to switch back to iOS. I’m highly anticipating the game Oceanhorn 2, which will come out as an iOS exclusive in the beginning. You will notice that with several apps.

Yet another reason was that I’m planning to get an Apple Watch. In comparison, I can’t say I dislike Android Wear but you can tell it’s struggling. Google seems to be not too interested in it. The watch I had kept disconnecting which was a big pain in the butt. It was oftentimes just annoying that I had to get into the Wear App on the phone, restart the watch and reconnect the whole thing. When I tried the Apple Watches of friends of mine, I found the user experience to be of a higher quality.

But lastly, the only real but CLEAR advantage of iOS over Android is the iPad. I mean, even though there might be high quality Android tablets on the market (and still coming up). But they will always have that one particular and crucial flaw: The app support. Apple takes great pride in the quality of their iPad apps on the App Store. They make sure that developers utilize the best APIs for the platform. Android tablet apps are usually inferior as they are only inflated Android phone apps that poorly make use of the screen’s larger real estate. So yeah, my conclusion is that as far as I can tell, wether iOS or Android is better merely depends on your needs and personal taste. With the exception of the iPad which is in my opinion the clear winner over any Android tablet on the market (since even Google refrained from making their own tablets because they realized their position). I’d like to know your point of view on this subject. So feel free to leave comments. Best regards, Oliver

[squidgytoebeans]

The Telstra Saga Continues.

If you’ve been following me long enough, you’ll probably know all about the issues hubby and I have been having with Telstra, one of the largest telecommunications providers here in Australia.

Buckle up folks, it’s gonna be a long one...

If you already know the backstory you can skip to the section after the sentence “So here’s where the new nonsense starts” for the new gory details.

We were without internet for almost three months when we first moved here because the previous tenant had no cancelled her account after she moved out. Then, even though we had documented proof that we live here now, when they rang her to ask if they could disconnect the line, she said she still lived here... because she didn’t wanna pay the $178 bill. For three months this woman held out phone/internet line hostage and Telstra, who own the line, said they couldn’t do anything about it. Anyway, ancient history, that problem was solved eventually when she finally gave them a date of when she was “going to move out”.

Then for over 12 months after that we battled with them over a slow connection that they kept telling us was “fine on their end” and refusing to send a technician out. Then when they finally caved and sent someone out that man was incredibly rude and sexist towards me (rolling his eyes at my husband every time I spoke even though I have a Diploma in IT and know more about these kinds of things than my husband) and didn’t touch a single thing when he was here. All he did was reiterated the default stance of “Everything looks fine on our end, there’s nothing I can do”.

In the end we made a complaint to the Telecommunications Industry Ombudsman (which costs Telstra $3000 every time someone makes a complaint regardless of what said complain is) and they managed to force Telstra to send out another technician... who called 10 minutes before he was supposed to be here and said, and I quote, “Everything looks fine on our end, I don’t see any reason to come there. Besides, I have a corporate client that I have to deal with today and the big guys are more important, you know?”.

So I rang our case handler at the TIO and they told them if they didn’t get a technician out here asap, the fines would get bigger and they’d be in a lot more trouble. The next day a technician actually showed up (this one was surprisingly really nice!) and it took him literally two minutes to find the problem. All he did was poke the modem once, the internet cut out, and he didn’t need to do anything else to figure it out. Literally all he had to do was touch the modem with the tip of his finger. 12 months. OVER 12 months, and not a single person bothered to think “maybe the modem is faulty”. He replaced the modem on the spot, and the cables just in case, and problem solved.

Telstra also refused to compensate us in any way for the 12+ months of pathetic internet service (we literally couldn’t even load Gmail at all) and disgusting customer service, so that was cool too, but whatever the problem was solved and that’s really all I wanted.

So here’s where the new nonsense starts.

Cut to about 6 months later with no problems and it’s time for hubby and I to get new mobile phones; our contracts are almost up and they sent us a message saying we could take advantage of their new swap and go lease where all we have to do is give our old phones back and we get brand new ones for $0. So we decided to head down to the local Telstra shop to get ourselves a couple of brand new Samsung S9s, because why not.

During the process I decided to go for the S9 Edge (hubby got the standard S9). I was little bit hesitant about it because it was an extra $20 a month and our bill with them was already quite big with our landline (which we never use but we have to have to get internet), internet and cable all being bundled through them. However, after looking at our account, the sales assistant (if I could remember his name I would 100% put him on blast right now but I can’t) looked through out account and said “I see you guys don’t use your landline at all, why don’t I drop that down to the $79 plan from $95 and you can make up the extra that way?”.

Now, pay attention because this is key the part right here.

Because we’ve had so many problems with Telstra in the past, I said to him “Will that affect anything else in the bundle?” and his reply was, and again I quote, “Nope, it’ll just drop your landline bundle so that you don’t have as much calls available each month but you never use it so that should be fine.” Alright, cool, we changed everything over and went on our way, happy with our new phones.

Oh how naive we were.

The next month when the bill arrives... it’s almost twice would it should be! We were expecting a large bill because hubby’s phone screen was cracked and they had to charge us for that, but not THAT big a bill! But, we weren’t able to access the bill online for some reason so we ended up having to ring them to find out wtf was going on.

Turns out sales douche didn’t change our landline plan, no no, he added it on top of the already existing one! So they were trying to not only charge us for the old $99 plan, but the new $79 one too, as though we had two landlines in the house! It was also during this phone call that we found out that, contrary to what sales douche told us, our internet HAD been affect by the change in plan; it went from unlimited data usage to 1500gb a month. That may not seem like a big deal, and it’s not really because we never even use that much, but when someone tells you a change isn’t going to affect anything; you believe them!  But again, whatever, the problem was solved, the charge for the extra landline was removed from our account and we paid the bill.

It was also during this call that we decided to cancel our cable TV. We never watch it and it’s just a waste of money, so we told them to cut it off and we sent the box back.

Cut to another month later, and our bill comes again... or rather it doesn’t. We get a notification saying the bill is ready to be viewed and we can see the total — WHICH IS WRONG AGAIN — but yet again, we can’t access the actual bill to see why it’s wrong. Another call, another “oh dear, we forgot to remove the charge for the cable” and it’s “fixed” again.

Are you seeing the pattern yet?

At this point, I’m beginning to feel sorry for the poor people who have unwittingly set up direct debits with Telstra and don’t bother to look at their bills before they’re charged, how many of those poor people have been ripped off by these arseholes this way?

So about a week ago I get another notification telling me this month’s bill is ready ... and we can’t access the full bill again. And yet again it’s wrong! They STILL haven’t taken off the cable even though we cancelled it and sent the box back almost two months ago. Why am I not surprised? It seems another call is in order and hell, while we’re at it, why don’t we find out why tf we can never seem to access our bill and also complain about the slowness of the internet that’s happening yet again the past few months.

Here’s where it get hilariously fucking annoying and aggravating...

Turns out the reason we can’t access our bills everyone month is because of something sales douche did when he was changing our plan. No one knows what he did or how he managed to fuck it up so badly, but whenever the automated process that handles credits tries to credit off the cable every month it can’t and then it keeps getting stuck in a loop of trying to fix itself and I keep getting notifications saying the bill is ready when it’s not.

Oh but it gets better... remember when sales douche said dropping the landline down to the lower plan wouldn’t affect anything else on our account, just the landline? Lies. Utter lies. Not only did it drop back our data allowance as I mentioned before... BUT IT ALSO DROPPED OUR CONNECTION TO A LOWER SPEED! Now, call me crazy but that seems like it’s affecting more than the landline doesn’t it? I’m pretty certain during the hours it took him to set up our new phones I even told him about all the issues we’d had with Telstra in the past and that the reason I wanted the Galaxy S9 Edge was because it came with a larger data plan, which I needed because our home connection was too slow to stream. I’d like to know in what universe he thought we would be ok with dropping our fucking connection speed!? Was he high!? Or was he just like every other damn Telstra employee who knows sweet fuck all about what they’re talking about because the company is a piece of shit? That sounds about right to me.

So now, we can either deal with the slower speed, or we can pay an extra $10 a month to go onto a faster speed that claims it will give us up to 45mbps which sounds fantastic because that’s like 4x the speed we had before all of this BUT if you’re Australian you’ll know that that “UP TO” part is a key marketing strategy with Telstra. Sure you MIGHT get up to that speed... if you live in the middle of a large city or right on top of an exchange, but even then it’s highly unlikely. No one EVER gets the speeds they’re promised from Telstra.

Now I know what you’re thinking, why not ditch Telstra and go with a different provider? Oh, my sweet summer child, if only it were that simple. Telstra is the largest communications industry in Australia and as shocking as it may be to believe, Telstra is the most reliable of all of them all. Their cell service has better range than any of them (which is important when you live in a rural area like we do) and even if we went with another company, there would be no guarantee we’d get a more stable internet connection because Telstra literally own all of the lines and the other companies simply rent them. There’s a reason you might hear many Australians complain about the internet, and that’s because Australia literally has worse internet than some third-world countries and we pay through the nose for it.

I did warn you about it being a long one didn’t I? lol So all we can do now is wait and see if the this supposedly faster 45mbps is actually what they say and go from there and if it’s not... someone is going to lose an eye.

[doktorocelot]

Google Pixel 3 XL Review

The Beginning

The Google Pixel is a phone series with a cult following. It's beloved for its smooth, light stock Android experience. However, I've been hearing some major controversy about Pixel 3. My carrier has been AT&T my entire life, and they don't natively carry the Pixel; I'd have to buy it unlocked. So, I skipped on the Pixel 1 and went for a Samsung Galaxy S8+.

Unfortunately, I carelessly dropped the phone on its curved edge and completely shattered the screen. I was devastated, but the phone was nearing the end of the two-year cycle. I've used a few phones in my day: the iPhone 3GS, iPhone 5, Samsung Galaxy S6, Samsung Galaxy S8+ and Google Pixel 3XL. However, as a child/teenager, I didn't have to pay for my own phone, and I was very thankful to be lucky enough to receive this technology. After shattering the Galaxy S8+, I didn't have the selfishness ask my parents to buy a new phone for me; therefore, I had to make a decision on what to do next.

I considered my options. Since I wanted to purchase my own phone, I wasn't limited to what my carrier provided. This was my chance to buy a Pixel! So I went on the Google Store, full of excitement until I noticed something. A Pixel 3 started at $799! That's quite expensive for a stock Android phone; there's the Essential Phone, which starts at $499, and the OnePlus 6T, which starts at $549. I needed to figure out what the Pixel 3 had over these other phones, and some would tell you it's not worth the extra money.

I did some more research and found out that Pixel phones were indeed the first to receive Android updates; if I bought a Pixel 3, I, assumably, would experience Android 9, 10 and 11 throughout the phone's lifespan. This is huge for a software nerd like myself, and that's the deal with the Pixel phones: you're paying more for the software than the hardware. However, I don't care about how good the software is, because the prices of the Pixel phones are gross. Google had a massive chance to undercut the competition by pricing this phone lower and attract more customers, but they didn't. As a result, many people who considered the phone won't buy it because it's too expensive.

Regardless, after all of the research I did, I decided I was going to try something new, and I bought a Google Pixel 3 XL. I went with Google Store Financing, so I'll be paying for this phone for two years. I've had it for about a month and a half now, so I'm going to review the handset based on that time.

The First Impression

The packaging is premium, but I don't fucking care. I don't buy a mobile for the packaging, so I unboxed the phone and set the deluxe packaging aside, never to be seen again. The naked phone looks really good; I really like Google's two-tone style, but there's wasted opportunity with that, which I'll get into later. Anyway, I decided to put the phone into a case immediately because I can't afford to break this one, and since there isn't a curved screen, it shouldn't instantly shatter if I drop it.

The phone's setup was easy, as expected, and worked instantly with the AT&T sim card I put into it. It even came with an ejection tool, which Apple should take notes from. It also came with a headphone dongle — as there is no headphone jack — something that Apple should take notes from. Included was a charging cable with a fast-charging brick, something Apple should take notes from. At this point, some of you may be getting annoyed by my comparing the included accessories to Apple, but you've got to remember: the iPhone X🅂 starts at $999. While I still believe the Pixel 3 and 3 XL are unbelievably priced, at least they give you a damned 3.5mm audio to USB Type-C and fast charging brick.

The phone also came with a set of wired USB Type-C headphones, and these things are super weird. In short, I personally don't like them, but some people do. My favourite earbuds are still Samsung OEM buds because they're very comfortable and sound great. However, I give props to Google for including a nice set of USB Type-C headphones, even if I personally find them uncomfortable.

The Elephant in the Room

I just need to get to this as soon as possible, because I really don't even want to write about it. Everybody's been talking about it, but in case you haven't noticed, the Google Pixel 3 XL has a display cutout. The notch at the top of the screen has been the talking point of many sad people who ride on controversy for views and revenue, including someone who made a five and a half minute video about it. In this video, they whine about a design on a phone they don't have to buy and then are confused why the developer options have different settings for different possible cutouts. Maybe it's for developers to test how their app works on different phones, dude. They also said that Google never justified the notch, even though the phone has dual speakers and dual front-facing cameras.

If you're like me and happen to be an adult, you'll quickly find that the notch doesn't really matter. I'm speaking for myself, but when I use my smartphone, I tend to look at the part of the phone that is the screen, not the part that isn't. Regardless, while it isn't intended for consumer use, you can use the developer options to disable the notch get a more traditional look if you desire to buy a phone with the extra screen and then not use it. However, then I hear people complain that they're losing the screen real estate when they do that. At this point, I needed to take a second to double take because I thought they didn't want the screen there. No, apparently, they want the notch area to be black, so it looks like there isn't a notch, but it still puts the status bar there. This isn't a native option in Pixel phones, but I'm just hoping Google adds this feature so they can shut up about it. Alternatively, there’s an app that does this. If you don't want the notch, you could always buy the Pixel 3, which exists. I'm telling you, though, Pixel 3 XL owners usually don't care about it.

The Screen

Now that I've finally written about the part that isn't the screen, I'll write about the screen. This is the part where I get really annoyed because the Pixel 3 XL's screen has been undergoing two bits of misinformation; I need to address these. First, a lot of people have been saying that the Pixel 3 XL is using a P-OLED screen, instead of an AMOLED screen. This incorrect assumption has led to reviewers' arbitrarily saying the screen is worse because the letters of its name are different from AMOLED. For example, there's a video from the channel, 'Learn How To Edit Stuff', where he proceeds to use a bunch of jumpcuts to get to a point where he says that he liked the iPhone's AMOLED screen better than a P-OLED display. This is such a sad example of a placebo because the Pixel 3 XL uses a Samsung AMOLED screen. This was according to a teardown of the device:

In the name of science, we opt to dismantle our display to learn from whence it came…It's a Samsung! Rumors were all over the place, but it looks like Google is going with Samsung's trusty AMOLED panels this year.

-iFixit (Source)

The Pixel 3 — you know, the small version that exists — is the one that uses a P-OLED display. I'm not sure why Google used two different screens, but whatever.

The second 'issue' I've seen going around is the display's brightness. In fact, I've seen a lot of people say that the screen is too dim. They mention how, on other phones, they keep their brightness at around 50%, but on the Google Pixel 3, they have to set it to approximately 80%, thus killing the battery life. A dim screen would really be a dealbreaker for me… but you know, it's funny; if I were to drop a considerable amount of money a phone that I'm going to use for the next two years, and I had an issue with it, I'd be sure to research it to get more information, rather than just claiming it as an issue and move on. Here's the truth: Android 9 changed the brightness slider completely. The Android developers changed it from a linear scale to a new scale that complements the human's perception of brightness. As a result, what was at 50% is now at around 80% because the slider now appears to work smoothly. The battery won't drain faster because the number is higher than before since the brightness is the exact fucking same.

The Problems

Let me break up this Google-jizzing attitude to explain that this phone, like every other phone, is not perfect. I'm going to put the negatives that I experienced because I want to be fair with this phone. However, do understand that I still find that the upsides heavily outweigh the downsides.

I've personally been having issues with the fingerprint reader. Sometimes, it just won't recognise my fingerprint at all, no matter how much I wipe down both ends. However, other reviewers have said that the fingerprint reader works every time so your mileage may vary.

The Android 9 gesture navigation has really grown on me, but there's one problem I have with it. If you swipe up from the bottom, you get to the recent apps page. If you swipe up again, you get to the app drawer. Supposedly, if you long swipe, you can get instantly to the app drawer, but I find this very difficult to do quickly. I feel like I have to bring my finger up the entire screen slowly to get it to work, and it just really breaks the flow for me.

For some reason, when I watch YouTube videos, the equalisation of the audio varies. Sometimes, I'll get bass-boosted sound when I start the video, but if I skip around the video, the equalisation randomly changes to have more treble. I don't know why it does that, and I can't seem to find anything about it online.

These are some of the minor issues I've been having, but nothing so far has really stuck out to me as significant. So far, my experience with this phone has been pretty solid, and I'm really enjoying it.

The UI

Remember, I was on a Samsung phone before they had One UI, so the change to stock Android was really drastic. Instantly, I felt like the whole phone was just prettier and smoother. The UI was flat, beautiful and, dare I say, gradient-free! I've always had a soft spot for Material Design, so it was finally nice to have my phone be using it for almost everything.

The Pixel launcher is really lovely, too. It's snappy and easy to use. The Google feed to the left is handy, and I appreciate the choice to put a Google search bar at the bottom for easy access. The top of the launcher shows the time and weather, and when a calendar event is coming up, it shows that event and the time remaining until it occurs.

The Not Bloated System

I love the fact that this phone doesn't come with stuff I don't need. In fact, it was the biggest reason I wanted this phone. Yes, I know rooting exists, but I didn't want to do it. This phone comes with the bare essentials, and gone are the days of having two calendar apps because Samsung insists that I use theirs, even though it's shit. I don't have to hide apps anymore with a third-party launcher. Some people say it's weird to brag about fewer features, but in this case, less is more. If I want an app, I'll go to the Play Store and grab it.

The Missed Opportunity

I need to go back to the negatives because I want to talk about something important. Many people may laugh at Energizer's hyperthick phone, but I think it's crucial for smartphone companies to start experimenting with more innovation. This is where Google's two-tone design can be taken advantage of: it's perfect for adding a user-replaceable battery. The Samsung Galaxy S5 showed that it's possible to have a water-resistant phone with a user-removable battery so this could have been Google's chance to add in a great feature that a lot of people miss. If they did that, as well as cut the price down a bit, then I think a lot more people would have a higher interest in buying this phone.

The Conclusion

I didn't go into every little detail about the phone, but I just wanted to give a general review a few things and also to refute some arguments against the phone. There's the big question which asks 'should I buy the Google Pixel 3?' The truth, however, is something I haven't heard any other reviewer say: I don't know what you want. You know what you want. If you're looking to buy a phone, you need to weigh all of the pros and cons of the phones and see which one works for you.

For example, a Pixel 3 doesn't have expandable memory, but if you don't care about that, then it isn't going to bother you. The other bit of the reality is that many of the big tech reviewers switch phones every two weeks or so. Average consumers like you and me usually keep their phones for a minimum of two years. We buy the phone, look at it and say 'this is going to be my smartphone for the next two years or so', and that really changes perspective. Things take time to grow on you, and the Pixel 3 XL really grew on me. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful week!